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addledmongoose · 4 months ago

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Best of 2024 Good Omens Fanfiction

Welcome to my list of the best Good Omens fanfiction I’ve read in 2024! These are my favorites of all the novels, short stories, and series I’ve read this year, and they’re the ones I have or am most likely to read more than once. There’s so much amazing talent in the Good Omens fandom, and I will never be able to read every great story, but I’m happy to have found these fantastic works. (FYI, I added up the word counts of all the stories on this list, and it’s over three million!)

First of all, if you haven’t read the stories on my 2023 Best Of list, be sure to check out the amazing works there. There are a lot of older classics, like Or Be Nice, Slow Show, and Pray For Us, Icarus and some stories written after season two released, like Factory Setting and Married At First Sight.

Secondly, here is the entire list of every recommendation I’ve made in 2024. There are far more great stories than can fit in a single year-end list. I’ll be unpinning that list and pinning up a new one next year.

Last year, I was able to split my list up more evenly into canon adjacent/compliant and human AU. This year, I read a wider variety of stories, many of them quite long, and more series. I’m splitting the list into three categories: canon, human AU, and non-human AU. There's no order or ranking to the list; they were mostly just added as I read them.

There are also no WIPs here; all of the stories are complete. The series are also complete at the time of this list or are a series of standalone shorts that don't need to be read in order. My preferences lean toward funnier, lighter stories and are often heavy on plot. If you’re looking for dark stories with a lot of angst, you won’t find as many here as other blogs might recommend. It’s not that some of these don’t have dark, sad moments or moments of angst, but Aziraphale and Crowley must have a happy ending, and I prefer stories that don’t make me cry or cause a lot of stress.

If you like these stories, don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for the authors!

If you hit that "Keep reading" button, strap in! This is a very, very long post.

Canon

They’re still angel and demon. I’m counting Reverse Omens in this category.

The Seventh Prince of Hell (56K; Rated M) by @evilasiangenius

Reverse Omens. This is actually part of a series, but I’ve only read the first book, so I’m not listing it as a series. Aziraphale is the Seventh Prince of Hell. His animal aspect is the octopus. Crowley is an ordinary angel. Both are assigned to Earth. They have adventures!

Genesis 3:(-7)-5.5 -7 And they assembled all the Lords, the Princes of Hell into a congregation together sometime after the seventh day, but not on a day of rest because even the Dark Council has a day off. -6 When it came to pass that all grew weary of the powerful pointing presentations, Lord Beelzebub spake with a loud voice, saying unto them, One of uzz brotherzz muzzt go to Earth as Hell’s Represzentative and thwart the doings of Heaven; there izz no choice now that the Almighty has created humanzz. Who amongzt uzz shall take up the project? It comezz with a great deal of extra paperwork, much travel, and no overtime pay. And we shall not reimbursze anything and there shall be no per diem. [...] -3 And of the seven Princes of Hell, three stepped forward, and only three; not two nor five, which are the other prime numbers near three and definitely not one, which is not a prime at all but the unit. The first was the Second Prince, who is called Asmodeus and is a demon of lust. The second was the Seventh Prince, who is called Aziraphale and is a demon of collecting stuff. And the third was the Fourth Prince, who is not worth talking about because they only appear in this one scene and for no other reason than to have three characters. I think that Prince is the demon of executive dysfunction or erectile dysfunction or something like that. Maybe both.

***

Nice And Ominous: a reluctant eschatology of the Second Attempt (series) (117K; Rated T/E) by @e-rated-beardo

A three-part, post-s2 series with gorgeous art by the author. Part I is Crowley’s POV as he deals with the loss of his angel. Part II is from Aziraphale’s POV as he tries to stop the Second Coming and deal with the loss of his demon. Part III is the thrilling finale (and the happy ending). Expect a lot of angst but great characters and plot.

It was a shit day. All the days had been shit, and there had been rather a shitload of them so far. Tucked away in a disused corner of a car park in a retail park in Croydon, a lanky man cracked his eyes open and scowled out the side window of his car. There were raindrops hitting the glass and clouds massing towards the eastern horizon suggested a storm was on its way. He had slept uncomfortably across the front seats for a good amount of time (it didn’t much matter what exact amount), and despite the car being a vintage and exceptionally attractive specimen, nobody had paid it much mind—and the few people who had had the idea to come over and have a look at the ostensibly abandoned vehicle had all suddenly realised how much they actually needed to go buy a sofa or something at that Ikea over there, right about now, in fact. Untangling his various limbs, the man in the car—who wasn’t exactly a man, as such, but close enough for government work—reluctantly sat up, his boot brushing against one of the empty bottles on the floor. He had neglected to sober up before going to sleep.

***

Too Hot for Heavenly Handling (2.4K; Rated E) by @hollybennett123

Crowley says yes to returning to Heaven. The two enjoy three fornication-fueled weeks before they’re hauled before the Metatron and the other archangels for a disciplinary hearing. Rating-aside, there’s not any actual sex in this story. It’s implicit; not explicit.

I’ve read this story more times than I can count (ok, it’s seven). I nearly choked the first time I read it, because I was laughing so hard. Every sentence is a gem. The timing of the jokes is impeccable. There’s not a single bad line in this entire piece.

“No angel shall pretend to be of a lower status than their actual ranking,” Aziraphale reads aloud. “What does that have to do with — ohhh,” he says, wide-eyed, remembering their ongoing little roleplay. Crowley, an angel of the lowest ranking in their little game, seeking favour from an Archangel; offering to service him in secret so he might earn a series of Heavenly promotions. It had been jolly good fun, actually. “Misuse of Heavenly furniture,” the Metatron continues. “One count. Again, the actual number is unknown. Quite frankly, no one here is willing to research it further to gather any more evidence than the minimum required to bring you before this Council.” Looking back, Aziraphale’s desk has seen quite a bit of action in recent weeks. And the chair. The walls, too, if they count.

***

Aziraphale’s Diaries (series) (11K; Rated T) by @fellshish

A series of standalone fics written as Aziraphale’s diary entries. They don’t need to be read in any order. All of them are fantastic, but I probably laughed the hardest at “Adventures of a mystery shopper in the bookshop.” Aziraphale decides Crowley must be bored after the Nomageddon and in need of work and decides to “let” him take care of his bookshop while he’s away, but then he worries the demon might sell some of his books.

29 August 2018 I’ve informed Crowley I’ll be going away for about three weeks, to perform an exciting and complicated blessing abroad. In reality, I’ve booked the Ritz for myself, where I’ll be forced to act human and eat breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Anything to keep a close eye on Crowley! 30th August 2018 It’s my first day away. I decided to go by the bookshop in an “old and confused man disguise” so I could look through the window. I was just in time (a three hour window between lunch and afternoon tea at the Ritz) to see him read the letter I’d posted a few days ago so it would arrive just as I’d left. It was cleverly addressed “To the owner or the current guardian of this bookshop”. I used all my knowledge of humans, gathered via the cleverest of ways (a lot of reading), to write it.

***

A Special Place In Hell (50K; Rated T) by @hotcrosspigeon and @mirach

When Adam shifted reality and caused Satan to disappear, the nearest supernatural entity became the new King of Hell. As it so happened, a certain angel was standing just a little closer than his demon.

Aziraphale, while not Falling, becomes the new ruler of Hell and must navigate Hellish politics, find a role for the love of his life, and maybe bring some proper tea time to the infernal realm. I stumbled upon this story purely by accident one night, and it was a pure joy to read. It’s one of those stories I wish was a series, because I could read so much more in this world.

"Hello, Crowley, my dear fellow. I would like to discuss a certain issue with you. You see, I somehow got into a very peculiar predicament..." Aziraphale sighed in frustration, pacing in his bookshop. "No no no, that sounds like I got my hand stuck in the sweets vending machine again." He cleared his throat. "Hey Crowley, what's up? Better sit down because I have some news to tell you... And by some news I mean... errr..." The angel groaned. "Oh Heavens, there's just no proper way to say this. Ugh, come on, Aziraphale, buck up! You just need to get to the point, that's all. Say the things as they are. No going in circles around the matter. Nice and accurate, right. Just tell him..." He turned at the sound of the bookshop doorbell. "Hello Crowley! Nice weather, isn't it?" "Wha..?" Crowley raised an incredulous eyebrow over the top of his sunglasses, a drop of water running along the edge of his nose. His red hair was plastered to his forehead. He turned to look out the window, jerking a thumb at the onslaught of vicious hail and rain that pelted the glass and plinked against the pane. "Oh, ha ha , very funny. It's bloody bucketing down, angel! I legged it in here before I got clonked on the head with a hailstone the size of my fist." He stopped and frowned at the angel in concern. "Er... you all right? You're looking a bit peaky."

***

Flowers From Hell (42K; Rated T) by @entanglednow

Crowley creates a hybrid demon flower that turns out to be a little more than he intended. This was such a sweet, beautiful story of found family and love, and you’ll absolutely fall in love with Ivy and want to do everything to protect him.

There's a low, quiet rustle from the atrium, where Crowley keeps his finest plants. The beautiful and often terrified rows of them are always so tall and glossy, and fantastically well maintained. Aziraphale regrets that he hadn't taken more of an interest in Crowley's hobbies. It wouldn't have been too difficult, he imagines, to seek out rare specimens to offer the demon. When he's been given so many long sought after volumes, and unpublished manuscripts in turn. Perhaps he could encourage Crowley to open up more, with a few well thought out questions pertaining to his plants, and their various needs. He knows Crowley has been absorbed in a special project recently, he'll make a point to ask about it today. Aziraphale heads into the stretch of greenery, following the tap of feet on tiles, and the quiet swish of foliage. He catches a flash of red hair at the end of the room, behind a messy spray of deep green leaves, then another flash, of what might be the long, pale curve of a shoulder. "Crowley?" The whole room smells damp, thick with fresh soil and crushed plant matter, and it grows stronger the deeper in Aziraphale ventures. He's sure the room wasn't quite so large before, it's clearly been expanded since he visited last, a deep bed of soil is now packed at the back of the room. "Crowley." Aziraphale eases a large spray of damp leaves aside. "I hope I'm not too early, I was -" Crowley is standing by the far wall, carefully touching the valley in the middle of a large leaf with curious, repetitive motions. He's also quite naked. It's - it's unexpected to say the least.

***

Time Marches Forward (129K; Rated M) by @bellisima-writes

While Aziraphale is in Heaven trying to thwart the Second Coming, Crowley is trying to help a frightened 15-year-old Adam learn to deal with his powers. I consider this the definitive S3 (even having written a post-S2 myself), regardless of what the upcoming finale gives us. Every character is wonderfully fleshed out. The plot is intriguing. I read it as fast as humanly possible, barely stopping to do anything else.

Crowley felt the air in the Bentley shift slightly. “What are you doing here?” Crowley jumped in shock, hitting his head on the roof of the Bentley so hard his sunglasses fell off. Adam was suddenly in the passenger seat, studying him cautiously. “Hey! You can’t just come into my car, uninvited,” Crowley hissed, grabbing his glasses and placing them back on his face. He realized he was still slouching, making Adam appear much bigger than he was. He sat up straight and crossed his arms in an attempt to look more intimidating and less drunk. He wondered if it was wise to try and glower at the Antichrist. “He can, actually,” Pepper said from the back seat. Crowley turned and snarled as he noted the three other teenagers in his car. Wensleydale and Brian sat beside her. “He can do anything.” “Yeah well, that may be so but that doesn’t make it right. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should,” he looked Adam directly in the eyes as he said this, assuming no one else around him would ever be so blunt. “What are you doing lurking around my house?” Adam asked again plainly. Crowley’s glowering was not working. “Ngk. I didn’t come to see you, if that’s what you're asking. I’m as shocked as you are to find myself here. I was asleep for a few days. The bloody car did it; blame it for the lurking”

***

The Last Angel (162K; Rated E) by @bellisima-writes

Crowley's been Hell's Grand Inquisitor for millennia now. Ever since the Apocalypse, he's managed to carve out a relatively cushy life for himself. Hell won the War, Angels were essentially eradicated and all human souls were Satan's. Everything was fine. Until one day he hears a rumor that the Last Angel in the universe was finally captured. Until Beelzebub is suddenly ordering him to get information from said Angel, information that's critical for Hell's survival. Until the moment he first locks eyes with the last Angel, and everything he's ever known starts to crumble around him.

I can’t come up with a better description than the summary. Much like the author’s previous work, Time Marches Forward, this is plot-heavy, exciting, action-packed, and gorgeous. The characters are detailed and realistic. The plot sings. And you won’t see the surprise until it’s already there.

“What kinds of rumors?” he asked, shifting in his seat to properly face Eric. Words were one thing, but body language was another. As Grand Inquisitor, Crowley learned early on to weigh both when evaluating information shared by a source whose reliability was questionable. Eric was a nice kid, sure. But their reliability would definitely be categorized as questionable . Eric’s mood shifted as they glanced around the corridor. Crowley hadn’t realized how quiet the cells had gotten. The bloody humans were eavesdropping again. He dug deep and pulled up a hiss so loud and laced with demonic power that it rattled every cell door in the entire block. Eric motioned with their hand for Crowley to follow them into a corner and out of earshot of everyone else. As Crowley pulled himself up and started walking he sent searing looks down each row of cells around him. They were all going to have a talk about this later. “What?” he asked when he got close enough to Eric. Still eyeing the cells behind them, Eric leaned in closer and whispered, “Hastur finally found him."

Crowley shook his head. Eric’s shiftiness was starting to annoy him. “Found who?” “The one who killed Ligur. Crowley, Hastur’s finally captured the last Angel.”

***

Kidnapping A Supreme Archangel For Fun And Profit (series) (31K; Rated T) by @waitingtobebroken

Mostly outsider POV. Four short stories told mostly from the points of view of Agiel, the Supreme Archangel’s assistant, and Kric (Eric with a K), the Grand Duke’s assistant as they try to figure out why the Supreme Archangel is so unworried about all the times he’s getting himself kidnapped by the Grand Duke. In the meantime, the two assistants find that maybe they have more in common than they would have expected, being hereditary enemies and all.

Being Lord Beelzebub's demonic assistant had been easier than overseeing the third circle of Hell. Just stay out of the way, don't make eye contact, not that Kric could, having been blessed with a distinct lack of eyes, and do not talk to the Prince of Hell, unless it was a 'Yes, Your Highness' or... No, that was pretty much it. You did not go around saying "No" to Lord Beelzebub. And of course, just as they had finally grown comfortable in their position, had even found the perfect time to ask for an assistant of their own... There had been a change in leadership. And Kric had found themself serving Crowley. The Original Tempter, the Snake of Eden, the Earth Walker. Kric was not impressed. Flash bastard. And suddenly, they were expected to be in the throne room at all times. To answer when addressed. Proper, actual answer. None of that automatic 'Yes, your Highness' they were so used to. The first time His Rottenness had held up two sashes, before the monthly meeting between Heaven and Hell and had asked which one made his scales look more iridescent and Kric had answered in the only way they knew how... Well, let's just say that hadn't gone well. They had been sent to something called Fashion Week. To better their understanding of clothes and colour theory, something they could sense had been invented by a fellow demon. Lord Crowley, most probably, judging by the way His Wickedness had grinned when he had told them that.

*****

Human AU

Fully human characters. No supernatural/magical elements.

Waking Up Slow (88K; Rated E) by @themoonmothwrites

After both being exposed to covid, strangers Crowley and Aziraphale wait out their isolation together (there’s only one bed!) at a cottage by the sea. This is complete cosycore fluff with just a touch of angst (and a happy ending) near the end. This gorgeous story has stuck with me for so long. If you want something that’s just plain pleasurable to read, this is it.

“Lovely view.” The voice was low, with the slightest hint of gravel, and right next to Aziraphale’s ear. He made an undignified noise and spun round in fright. “Where the devil did you-?” he started, high-voiced, before his foot caught on a stone and he lost his balance. The stranger was standing so close that Aziraphale toppled right into him, and the pair of them went down together in a tangle of knees and a solid thunk to the forehead. “Ow,” the man said, squinting up at Aziraphale, gaze unfocused, before his eyes fell closed. “Oh no!” Aziraphale breathed. “Oh dear. What do I-?” He’d left his blasted phone at the cottage, now of all times when he actually needed it! With an unconscious man lying before him! And it was all Aziraphale’s doing! “I can-- I can-- I know what to do!” he told himself, attempting belatedly not to panic. The best thing to do was not to think too hard. Tipping up the stranger’s chin, Aziraphale pinched his nose and lowered his face until his mouth closed over the other man’s.

***

The Prince’s Consort (142K; Rated E) by @ineffable-toreshi

Aziraphale is the crown prince of a fictional nation. Crowley is a Lily, trained in one of Lucien’s brothels and kept a virgin for the eventual sale to a wealthy master. Against the brothel owner’s wishes, Crowley is purchased by the prince’s adviser, Gabriel, as a companion for Prince Aziraphale. Aziraphale didn’t want a purchased mate, however, and decides to court his new consort the old-fashioned way.

The description makes this sound like a darker story than it is; it’s actually a really sweet story with only one bad guy (and it’s not Gabriel).

I wrote a much longer review here if you’d like more details.

“I...I was just wondering, my Lord,” Anthony said, nervously nibbling on his lip and twisting his fingers in his lap. “Why did you choose me ?” Gabriel cocked his head to the side. He leaned back, reclining with his arms thrown up over the edges of the bench, and seemed to think about the question. By the time he finally opened his mouth to answer, Anthony was practically vibrating with curiosity. “There were a few factors,” he explained thoughtfully. “I’ll admit that your appearance was the first and foremost. I prefer women, myself, but I know beauty in a man when I see it. And I’ve seen the types who’ve caught the prince’s eye over the years. I’m quite confident that he will find you more than pleasing, from an aesthetic standpoint.”

***

Keep Digging (7K; Rated T) by Appleseeds

After panicking and losing his nerve trying to ask out Aziraphale, the co-worker Crowley has an enormous crush on, he tells a little white lie that ends up completely spiralling out of control since he can't seem to stop digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole. Now he's obtained plans to help him break into a school, inadvertently funded the purchase of explosives, and, knowing his luck, the fake blood will end up permanently staining the tiles. Who knows though, maybe in the end, it'll all turn out to be worth it.

Another one of those stories that are so funny tears stream down my face every time. Even going back through it to find an excerpt had me choking down laughter.

“I actually used to be a music tutor. That was one of the little jokes I liked to tell.” Aziraphale giggled again. Nhhhhh. “Wish you could tutor me…” Crowley muttered under his breath. “Oh! Are you wanting to learn to play a musical instrument?” Aziraphale asked brightly. Crowley’s eyes widened. He wasn’t supposed to hear that. Of course, he wouldn’t have heard it if Crowley had just kept his big mouth shut. “Um. Yeah.” “Wonderful! Which one?” FUCK. How the hell was Crowley supposed to answer that? Whatever he said, he might end up having to get one of said instrument, and he didn’t know much, but he knew musical instruments could be incredibly expensive. There must be something that would be cheap enough to procure if needs be, right? And with that thought, Crowley responded. “The triangle.” Oh Jesus Christ.

***

Temple of the Muses (241K; Rated E) by @ajconstantine

It’s the start of the Season in 1841 Victorian England. Mr Anthony Crowley has left a life of working at a luxurious high end bordello in Paris behind him and is now a courtesan intent on climbing the social ladder in London to increase his status and social connections. After unexpectedly inheriting the title of the Earl of Eastgate, Aziraphale finds himself trying to navigate the complicated world of the aristocracy. Duke Gabriel purchases a month-long contract with Mr Crowley for Lord Fell as a surprise gift to Aziraphale’s astonishment and dismay. He declines to take full advantage of Crowley’s charms but agrees to an arrangement of pretending to be Crowley’s paramour in exchange for lessons on the etiquette and expectations of Society. It’s a practical arrangement, nothing more. Certainly no feelings will be involved...

One of the best, most well-researched stories I’ve read. The historical elements are fascinating, and the world-building is top notch. Set in an alternate 1841 where there’s no stigma on same sex relationships, but same sex marriage is still not allowed. The story alternates between the present time, with Aziraphale and Crowley navigating their growing relationship, and Crowley’s time being trained at one of the most elite bordellos of Paris.

Crowley has a lot of autonomy in this story. He actively chose to become a sex worker. Once he leaves the bordello and becomes a courtesan, he can refuse to sign with a client. And while there are consequences for breaking a contract, a courtesan can walk away from a troublesome client.

“Exactly what position do you think I was hired for?” Crowley interrupted, pulling the shoulder of his robe back up. The Earl looked at him as if he’d asked a ridiculous question. “Valet, of course.” Crowley barked out a disbelieving laugh. “Duke Haven didn’t tell you about me?” The Earl pursed his lips, tilting his head in puzzlement. “Not you precisely. I was at his house last week, and he chastised me when I mentioned that I didn’t have a valet, insisting I needed one even though…” His eyes widened. “Oh no. What… what did you think you were being hired for?” Struck by the absurdity of it all, Crowley fought the strong urge to laugh outright. Instead, he gave the Earl a roguish grin and bowed with a flourish. “Mr Anthony Crowley, at your service, sir. Duke Haven procured a contract for me to be your... courtesan.” Lord Fell's mouth dropped open as he gaped at him in apparent shock. “You— I—” He floundered, at a loss for words as he looked away from Crowley. His eyes landed on the bed. To Crowley’s growing amusement, the Early actually blushed, red staining his cheeks as he swiftly averted his gaze.

***

#RAINBOWROAD (series) (407K; Rated T/E) by @nieded

If you haven’t heard of this one yet, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is one of the best, most well-written human AUs that anyone has produced for Good Omens (or really, of any romance). It’s a three-book, three-short series set in the world of Formula 1 racing. You heard that right. You don’t need to know anything about F1 racing. You don’t even need to like F1 racing. You just need to want to read one of the best romances ever written to enjoy this series.

Ezira Phale is a rookie F1 driver. AJ Crowley is an F1 veteran and an idol of the 25-year-old racer. Everything changes when Ezira meets and falls in love with Crowley, and the older driver (by about 10 years; there’s not a massive age difference here) seems to return his feelings. I wrote a very long review of the series here, so I won’t go into a ton of detail again except to say, if you love human AU, this should be on your list. The author adds notes at the end of the chapters explaining some of the more technical aspects of the sport, or talking about some of the real racers, and it’s fascinating.

Ezira makes his escape from the after-party after stealing a handful of fig tartlets from the hors d’oeuvres table. He ducks out the service exit before looping back to the front of the hotel. God, he wants to sleep off his tipsiness. It’s significantly cooler at night, and he wraps his arms around his shoulders before slipping inside, making a dash for the elevator. Punching his floor number, he leans against the wall and closes his eyes, waiting to be taken to his floor. Then the elevator jerks as someone jabs their hand between the sliding doors, forcing it back open. Ezira lifts his head and glares at the newcomer before his eyes widen, flushing when he recognizes the red hair and black Renault polo. AJ Crowley throws himself into the opposite corner of the elevator and pulls the brim of his hat down. He turns to look at Ezira from under his cap. "Tough luck out there today, huh?" he asks. Ezira frowns and blinks. And because he’s a little drunk and high on adrenaline, he says, "Didn’t you place seventh? I thought that was fucking brilliant." This earns him a snort, and then a bit of stifled laughter. "You can’t say fuck." "You say fuck in almost every interview you do." Not that Ezira has watched every single post-debrief involving AJ Crowley. This makes Crowley laugh harder, and he wipes at his eyes. "You just look like you should be in a painting or something. You’re like a Hummel." Flabbergasted, Ezira stares. His cheeks grow hot when he realizes AJ Crowley is taking the piss. "I don’t even know what that means." Crowley wipes his eye with the back of his hand and then presses his lips together in a feeble attempt to hold back another fit of laughter. "I’m sorry. I’m just very, very drunk, and was not expecting you to say ‘fuck.’ You look like those cherubs from Italy."

***

Lunacy (57K; Rated E) by @snae-b

@snae-b writes some of the best sci-fi GO stories you’ll ever read. This is hardly the only great story of theirs I’ve recommended; it just happens to be my personal favorite. Crowley is the crew chief of a mining operation on one of Pluto’s tiny moons. Aziraphale is a geologist there to study the structural integrity of the moon. But something seems to be alive, something that shouldn’t be there. This is pure psychological horror, the kind of story where you’re never quite sure what’s real and what’s a hallucination. You’ll find definitely NSFW artwork throughout, so take note not to read it around people you wouldn’t want seeing porn on your screen.

Crowley zones out as they continue their conversation. Things had been weird in the mine today. For the past month really. Tech malfunctioning. Batteries draining when they should have been able to hold a charge for days. Half the lights were on the fritz. As if it weren't dark enough in there already. He'd had to trek nearly a mile into Sheol with only the lights on his helmet to repair them. And his crew had their hands full with extraction, so he’d had to do it alone. The darkness really starts to play tricks on you in there. He spent as much time looking over his shoulder as he did working on the lights. Kept thinking that he was seeing something. Something hiding in the shadows. Something that lived in his peripheral vision. As he tugs a beanie on over his head there’s a light rapping on the wall and everyone glances up to the figure in the doorway. “Excuse me, Mr. Crowley. If you have time in your schedule, I really need to discuss the most recent surface scans with you. Could you come by my quarters before dinner?” Crowley sighs as he snaps on his mag boots. “Yeah. Sure thing doc. I’ll be by in thirty.” The scientist only nods before he disappears down the hall. Dr. Aziraphale Fell. He doesn’t wear the standard issue jumpsuits. He wears thick sweaters and wool trousers that look ridiculous with his mag boots. And when he isn’t wearing them, he can hardly get around. Bumps into everything and everyone. He’s never been off planet before and it shows.

***

Miracles on Ice (131K; Rated E) by @henriettarhippo

It’s the “Blades of Glory” AU you never knew you wanted. Crowley and Aziraphale are men’s figure skaters who get banned from the sport after a fight on the podium. Years later, Aziraphale’s coach, Gabriel, suggests the two of them team up to compete in the Olympic’s pairs event. Only problem is, the two skaters hate each other.

This is very much an enemies-to-lovers story, and Gabriel as their coach and sponsor is the perfect combination of asshole and good guy. He genuinely does care for his two skaters, and he’s generous with his money, but he also has that rich guy attitude of being used to getting what he wants, and he’s not afraid to tell them to stop being dumbasses either.

“Hey angel, was that your routine? Because it looked to me like a lot of swanning about on the ice with a few pirouettes thrown in.” The mocking drawl came from the figure making his way towards Aziraphale on a pair of sharp blades. Clad in skintight black velvet trousers and a black turtleneck adorned with glittering red crystals—to match the striking red curls that stopped at his shoulders—Aziraphale’s skating rival Crowley beamed down at him with a malicious grin. “Also, you’re a bit late. They handed out the women’s medals earlier today.” He pulled down the dark shades he always wore to give Aziraphale a wink. Aziraphale bristled and sat up straighter. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. That was textbook precision, and I think you’ll find it was the same scores I beat you with last year in Oslo.” “The hotel had a free bar I don’t even remember Oslo,” Crowley said dismissively as he approached the entrance to the rink. He turned back and gave Aziraphale a grin. “But I do remember Boston, and that victory was almost as sweet as the look on your face when you botched that triple loop.” Crowley let out a laugh at the scandalised look Aziraphale gave him. The loudspeakers started up with the first booming notes of a rock song and Crowley hopped up onto the ice and skated away from him before Aziraphale had the chance to reply.

***

Friends Don't (33K; Rated E) by @missunderstoodlyrics

Human AU. Another fantastic enemies-to-lovers by MissUnderstoodLyrics. This is the newest story on this list.

Aziraphale and Crowley are rival advice columnists whose companies are merged. The CEO, Gabriel, tells them they now have to do a joint video podcast together. The snark and bickerflirting are top notch, and this story kept a smile on my face. They have to keep their romance a secret, because the whole schtick of their podcast is their very public rivalry, but it gets harder and harder the closer they become.

Aziraphale attempted to drown his mirth in his wine glass, which was precisely when Crowley decided to position his mouth millimetres from the angel’s ear. “Blair. Have you met him? Worst. Comb-over. Since. Thatcher,” he whispered and then found himself helpfully patting Aziraphale's back as the man choked and spluttered, his cherubic face turning a delightful shade of pink. “Absolute fiend,” Aziraphale managed once he’d caught his breath, but the corners of his mouth were twitching traitorously. Crowley clocked Michaela out of the corner of his eye; she was leaning forward to shush them. Aziraphale escaped her wrath by standing and marching to the stage, his back straight and shoulders squared. He planted himself solidly in front of the microphone and proceeded to destroy what was left of Crowley’s sanity. “I once met a man-shaped snake,” he stated, his gaze firmly locked on Crowley. “Whose snark was taxing to take With swagger and pose He turned up his nose But his wisdom was rather half-baked.”

*****

Non-Human AU

One or both of them are non-human, or have some sort of supernatural abilities (like magic) but aren’t angel or demon. I’m including omegaverse in this category.

Mark of the Serpent (150K; Rated E) by @naromoreau and @summerofspock

Prince Aziraphale is about to be crowned King of Angelhaven when he's taken captive by pirates. When he's sold as a pleasure slave to King Crowley, ruler of the nation readying for war with his, he is forced to keep his identity a secret as he tries to find a way home and keep peace. But not everything at King Crowley's court is as it seems and Aziraphale will have to face machinations of a Royal Court that are far more complex than he had thought. A Captive Prince AU with an omegaverse twist.

The first omegaverse story I genuinely liked, even though Crowley is pretty awful toward Aziraphale at first. Since then I’ve come to enjoy more of them, but this is the one that got me into the genre. This is another one I’ve written a much longer review about here including an explanation for the “extremely dubious consent” tag.

"What about this one?" the omega king asked, eyes fixed on his face, a strange curl to his mouth. "He's an Angel," Hastur sneered. "Pretty, isn't he? We were trying to pick a variety for your majesty to choose from since you didn’t deign to accompany us, but we didn’t find out his origin until after we brought him. He probably doesn't even speak the language." The words manifested in Aziraphale’s mind, and he immediately saw the genius in them. If he didn't speak the language, he could hardly be appealing as a consort to the king. He would be dismissed, sent back to Tracy's, and given time to heal before making his escape. "An Angel?" the king repeated, something passing over his face that Aziraphale didn't like. "What's your name?" "I’m sorry," Aziraphale stammered in Angelic, sticking to his hastily made plan. "I don’t...I don’t know what you're saying." King Crowley smiled and said, in perfect Angelic, "I asked what your name was." "Oh, um, I- you can call me whatever you wish," Aziraphale said, not wanting to risk even a part of his name. The king laughed. "I'm choosing the Angel. Send him to my quarters." "But your majesty-" The omega king turned on Ligur. "You wanted me to choose a pleasure beta and I did. It's done. Were there any other highly important council matters or can I get back to my day?"

***

Saltwater on Skin (186K; Rated E) by @candyqueenblog

Another one with a longer review here. Ezra Fell is an award-winning novelist celebrating the millionth sale of his newest books with his friends and baby brother, Gabriel, on a rented yacht. He falls overboard and washes ashore on an uncharted island, and while awaiting rescue, he gets the strange feeling he’s not alone.

This is a low angst love story between the human and the naga who rescues him, and you’ll fall in love with the island and Crowley’s four sisters. Gabriel is a peach here, much younger than Ezra and very much the caring baby brother.

And if you’d prefer an Ineffable Wives version of the story, you can find that here. I haven’t read it, but I assume it’s equally good.

Ezra couldn’t stifle the flood of tears as he threw his arms over his head with a scream. Then a pair of rough, but blessedly human hands, covered his wrists. “You… scared?” The stranger’s voice was gravelly, most likely from disuse, but to Ezra it sounded more beautiful than all the angelic choirs. He sobbed in relief. “Oh thank heavens! I thought for sure I was going to-” His words sputtered and died when he opened his eyes to look at his rescuer. It was a man… ...from the waist up. The man’s bare torso was thin, but well defined with long arms lean with muscle. His face was all angles framed by a shock of red hair that curled down his back. His eyes were captivating. They were human enough, save for the iris being the color of spun gold and sliced right down the middle by a slit-shaped pupil. That was about where the human similarities ended. From the waist down the man’s skin melded into a massive snake tail that was wider than Ezra’s entire body and covered in black scales with a red underbelly that matched his hair.

***

FAETED (series) (251K; Rated G/T) by @ineffably-good

The only story in this category that’s not rated E. A three-book, one-short series where Ezra, an English teacher at a public school accidentally ends up in the Fae realms and in the hands of the Unseelie king, Crowley. The world-building is fantastic, and the books use some of the side characters so well, especially Hastur and Ligur, two of Crowley’s most trusted advisers. Crowley is good to Ezra, but he’s spent a thousand years ruling over the chaotic and dangerous unseelie fae, and he doesn’t always know how to handle being in love with a human. And Ezra doesn’t understand the difficult and often prickly politics of the fae, so the two have a lot of misunderstandings to work through. It leads to several fights, but they are usually resolved within the chapter.

The stories are heavy on plot, mostly around the world of the fae, which is one of the things I love most about this series. I could easily read dozens of books set in this world.

Lord Crowley watched as Ezra emerged from the coach, curious to see how this strange mortal would react to his first sight of the Dark Court. Would he blanch in terror? Would he be curious? He didn’t know or understand the creature across from him, but he knew one thing— his reactions, to date, were not what the Prince expected. This was oddly refreshing. It had been so, so long since anyone had managed to surprise him. He watched as Ezra emerged, his fluffy golden hair sticking out in all directions above the dark gray travel cloak he’d donned. He smiled faintly and with studious politeness at the horrifying gremlin who helped him down the steps, brushed the nonexistent dust off himself, and took in his surroundings. Crowley was gratified to see his eyes widen as he looked around. They were standing in the center of an immense cavern, almost as if a mountain had been hollowed out inside by an immense blast. The rock walls climbed up above them and came together at an unmeasurable distance overhead and were dotted everywhere one looked with cavernous openings, some of which flickered with the light from a fire further inside. Creatures here and there, too murky to make out fully, hovered near the openings of some of them, peering down at the return of their Prince with eyes he could not read. Further ahead, the floor cracked into a massive chasm which ranged across the rest of the cavern and was crossed here and there by rickety-looking bridges. It was lit from below by the light of flames and the scent of sulfur. Stalagmites rose from the floor at irregular intervals, some of them paired with stalactites dropping from the ceiling like large, rocky icicles. Their surfaces glittered here and there with what looked like mica or gems. Crowley watched as Ezra took all of this in at a glance. “Thoughts?” said Lord Crowley, sidling up to him. Ezra turned astonished eyes the color of blue sky to him. “It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen anything like this.” Crowley searched his face for mockery or insincerity but found only earnestness. The Prince felt a tingle of pleasure at this, at least for a moment, until he ruthlessly slammed that feeling down inside himself and returned to his usual sardonic detachment. He hadn’t brought the human here to be his friend.

***

If He’s Your Cleric, Why Is He Putting Me In His Bag of Holding? (300K; Rated E) by @noodlefrog-omens

I read this twice in a row. Literally. I stopped it and almost immediately started it again. I played D&D 3.5 for many years, and I absolutely loved seeing a D&D adventure played out in the GO universe. Aziraphale is the cleric of an adventuring party that stupidly decides to abandon him in the dungeon (you don’t abandon your healer!). Crowley is a very hungry mimic who ends up nearly dying in Aziraphale’s bag of holding before the cleric rescues him. (Look, if you’re going to look like a fancy book, don’t be surprised when the man tries to steal you).

Aziraphale still needs to find his adventuring party again, and the mimic decides to travel along with him. Along the way they find kobolds, a doppelganger, traps, and the obligate dungeon maze, all the while getting to know each other. Aziraphale recognizes his feelings toward the mimic fairly early on, but it takes Crowley longer to even understand what his feelings even mean.

The porn doesn’t start until chapter 33 (of 40), and only covers maybe three of the remaining eight chapters. You can read the entire adventure and stop once they leave the dungeon if you don’t want any monsterfuckery, or you could skim past the smut to the ending. I don’t know if the author has any plans for sequels, but if he does, I’ll be right there ready.

In that moment, Crowley knew that he had found the right bait to lure this human right to his doom. He waited as patiently as he could while nearly vibrating himself into a puddle, watching as Aziraphale puttered around the room cooing over all the books and scrolls in the room as though they were living creatures. “Just you wait,” Crowley thought to himself, inordinately pleased to have figured out what made this stubborn human tick. “One of them will be.” “There must be centuries’ worth of knowledge collected in just this one chamber,” Aziraphale said in a reverent whisper. Finally, finally he started touching things in this dungeon. He even took his heavy leather gloves off, tucking them into his belt before running a fingertip along the spines of the books chained to the shelves. Crowley watched him take one right off the shelf and thumb through a few of the pages. “We must have walked right by this room. I don’t know why Sandalphon told me there wasn’t anything behind this door. He must not have looked closely enough.” Aziraphale turned his back to the shelves to glance back at the door, and Crowley took his chance to crawl up the side of the bookshelf and arrange himself in front of the chained tomes in pride of place. It wasn’t difficult to change himself into the shape of a book, but this was always about the details. It was an art form. Which books, exactly, had Aziraphale been drawn to? Old ones with leather covers, mostly. Ones with bits of fiddly decoration on the spine. Ones with a bit of mystery. Aziraphale was a cleric, so he was probably interested in talking to the Gods and shite like that, or at least understanding them. That was an angle Crowley could work with. He gave his skin a supple leather texture, inky black and vaguely shimmery in a way he knew would catch the flickering light being thrown out by that sword. Gold edging and lettering crept across his cover and spine, promising divine secrets and cosmic mysteries to anyone who would just reach out and touch. He couldn’t see himself, but Crowley knew that he was a very sexy book right now. Aziraphale would have to be mad not to notice him.

***

Crowley And The Chocolate Factory (55K; Rated E) by @entanglednow

Crowley has to step up for his nephew Adam when he wins a ticket to tour the famous chocolate factories, run by the reclusive and deeply strange Zira Zonka. It doesn't take Crowley long to decide that he wants nothing to do with the man, who's clearly hiding dark and mysterious secrets.

Do you like your Crowley grumpy and cynical? Do you like your Aziraphale weird? Did you think the one thing missing from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory was sex between Wonka and one of the parents in a vintage Bentley? Then this is the story for you!

Crowley doesn’t know what to make of the definitely strange Zira Zonka, but he finds himself drawn to the man nonetheless. The story is set in modern times, but if you know the original (at least the movie version; I can’t speak for the books), you have a general idea of what’s going to happen to the children.

Zonka releases the arms of his partners for long enough to jerk his cane towards the sky, which erupts in a shower of flower petals and candy - a large proportion of which fall on the immediately excited crowd. Crowley's fairly certain he gets hit on the head by a soft fudge. God, this is humiliating. Zonka dances right and then left while the audience cheers in appreciation. He does another circle, separates from the row to do some unimpressive spins while trying - and failing - to find a good rhyme for liquorice. "My candy emporium has so much in store. Just step right up and walk through the door!" Zonka's gold and white cane snaps up into the air again, this time leaving a burst of light and his name written across the sky in sparkling gold calligraphy. It seems to be a dramatic ending, Crowley certainly hopes it's a dramatic ending. "Half of those lines were a stretch," he complains, but quietly and mostly to himself, because the audience seems to have found the whole thing captivating, Adam included. "And there's only five kids, not six, he can't even count." The Erik's all unlink arms, to thunderous applause from the crowd behind him, and Zonka gives the widest grin Crowley has ever seen. His hands flung on his hips, like the world's most enthusiastic children's entertainer. Crowley half expects him to ask who wants to see a magic trick. "How has this man possibly managed to stay out of the limelight for twenty years?" he wonders. "Or twenty minutes."

***

Villainous (217K; Rated E) by @ineffablepenguin

Once Upon A Time… There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely. The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends. Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

This is one of those stories a lot of people recommend for good reason. It’s a fantastic fairy tale full of love and romance between two people who seem destined for one another. The writing is gorgeous, the world-building is fantastic, and there’s really great artwork scattered throughout. Some of the artwork is fairly suggestive, and all of it is stunning.

Crow slowed to a stop, and his gaze flickered bemusedly over him. The man was…not tall. Or remotely intimidating. He stood a couple inches shorter than him, even with the thick boots. Wide eyes shone resolutely grey-blue, the precise shade of his doublet, under a tumble of feathery white-blond curls cut a bit too short to be fashionable. And... his stubbornly-set jaw was rather less chiseled than Crow was used to seeing. No conveniently placed scars, no gritty dents or smudges on that immaculate armour. Heroes usually had cheekbones that could cut glass, but this one’s were rounded, and slightly rosy to boot. Cherubic was the word that came immediately to mind, and Crow nearly snorted out loud. He looked to be roughly Crow's own age, and was staring determinedly, if anxiously at him from behind that enormous broadsword. There was a long, tense silence as Crow and the armoured man sized each other up. The Hero spoke first. “Now see here, villain, I don’t want to have to kill you, so just turn about and head right back where you came from.” His voice was precise and educated, nearly fussy, and while self-assured was lacking in the usual bravado. Crow blinked, taken aback, and the flames in his hand faltered. “You don’t want to kill me?” “Well…no, not particularly.” The confidence wavered for an instant, then solidified. “Which is not to say that I won’t! Rest assured I will if you cause trouble!”

***

The Crawly Chronicles (series) (179K; Rated T/M/E) by @theladydrgn and @sylwritesstuff

When Aziraphale Fell, reporter for The Daily Messenger, is tasked with a simple story on smuggling, he isn't expecting to find out that Lightbringer, Inc. has been experimenting on something that could be an animal, an oil slick, or something else entirely. He especially isn't expecting that being to come home with him and change his entire life.

I’m a fan of the Tom Hardy Venom movies, which made this two-book, two-short series perfect for me. The books follow the plot of the first two movies, though book 2 also starts with the sexual relationship between the two characters.

My favorite parts of the story are of the two learning to live together while sharing a body, and Aziraphale trying to figure out how to handle having feelings for a creature he’s permanently attached to who is so completely alien (literally) that he’s not even sure that romantic and sexual love are even an option.

The food the human was making already smelled good enough to eat to them, and they did not want to wait twenty minutes. This time their control of the human's hand was less subtle as they dipped fingers into the leftover batter and brought a generous scoop of the chocolate mix to their mouth. “Nasty human's is what they were.” Aziraphale froze or at least tried to. His mouth seemed to have other ideas, cleaning the mixture from his fingers. “What- Who said that?” he demanded messily, looking around. “I did.” Aziraphale took several steps back, grasping for the cane he'd left leaning against the counter. The voice sounded as if it were everywhere around him or- or in his own mind somehow. “That's hardly reassuring. Who are you? How did you get into my home?” “Got in the same way you did, human.” They grabbed the bowl of chocolate mixture before the human stumbled too far from it, fingers scraping the last dregs of it to not waste a single bit. The cane fell to the floor. Aziraphale tried stopping himself, but he couldn't seem to make his hands do what he wanted them to do. “Stop! How-” What in the world was happening and how did he stop it? “No. I'm hungry.” “That doesn't make any sense! Stop!” he demanded, struggling to keep his chocolate covered fingers away from his own mouth. “Fine.” They still felt so weak that fighting this human for control was a struggle and a challenge that they did not want to have. It was just so much easier to slip out between their cells and wrap a long tongue around their fingers instead.

***

And finally, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you!

I have three Good Omens novels of my own I hope you’ll check out, a post-S2 with an upcoming sequel; a “they never met”/fake marriage adventure; and a reverse omens (a WIP as of 27 Dec, 2024; chapters are released on Fridays, and it should be completely posted around mid-February 2025).

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #best of 2024

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siriuslyobsessedwithfiction · 9 months ago

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"Siege and Storm is boring, nothing happened there.", "I only remember Nikolai showing up". LIES. That's propaganda, actually. That's Grishaverse fans not wanting to reread the trilogy and especially that book because they've crafted a fanfic in their heads they're trying to pass as canon with encouragement from the author, actually.

Because rereading Siege and Storm would raise quite a few unsavory questions. For example:

Why is Mal drinking, gambling and fighting Grisha 24/7 instead of performing his duty as Alina's captain of the guard? (And don't give me "he was a stressed boy" bullshit, it was war, everyone was stressed. And everyone was coddling Mal. He was going hunting with nobles, living in luxury and insulting the prince).

Why did Mal fail his duty as Alina's protector and fell asleep on his watch, drunk, and didn't notice someone going in and out Alina's chamber?

Why did Alina run away in her pajamas aimlessly in the city, and when the crowd of worshippers started tearing her apart alive, she let them. Why did she attempt suicide? (Hint: she and Mal had a big fight earlier because Mal was being a drunk shithead. Alina still blamed herself).

Why did Mal slut-shame Alina one second and virgin-shame her the next? All while bragging about being with many women and kissing Zoya.

Why did the Darkling not manipulate Alina even though he visited her a lot through the tether? Why did he settle for petty little smirks and winks and silently kept her company through the long nights? Why did he admit he was lonely and stayed with her because she was lonely too? Where was loverboy Mal?

Why were the Bataar twins (especially Tolya) acting so weird towards Alina? Why were they brainwashed worshipers and viewed her only as a saint? Why is Tolya on his knees, shivering when Alina just pats his shoulder?

Oh, Nikolai is just an ambitious, conniving cunt who wants the throne, not a selfless fairytale prince? And he's only an improvement from his father and brother because the bar is so low it's in the seventh circle of hell? (Still the best character in that book).

Why is everyone so okay with murdering the Darkling's Grisha as if they aren't the same Grisha who they lived and fought alongside for years? Why is no one protesting that while the Lantsov prince is eager to engage in a civil war because he has big guns from his pirate privateer adventures , it's the oppressed minority (Grisha) who are dying the most?

Why isn't Alina more concerned that everyone turned on Grisha the second the times of trouble started, as if everyone was merely expecting an excuse? An absence of strong leader, so they could start sham trials and execute Grisha left and right.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse meta #alina starkov #the darkling #mal oretsev #aleksander morozova #the grisha trilogy #siege and storm #ruin and rising #grishanalyticritical #anti malina #nikolai lantsov #darklina #darkolai

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frownyalfred · 2 months ago

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arkham prince romance is not only sexy and tragic and beautiful but also extremely funny because AP!bruce is the toxic boyfriend you want your friend to break up with.

clark is in the trenches trying to defend bruce to the justice league, who are holding interventions for superman because they are concerned that he is being mind controlled. lois got 17 articles bashing bruce wayne ready to print at any given time. ma kent is like “whatever makes you happy, i trust your judgement, but also the serial killer? no, just. nobody else???”

clark is saying “he stopped doing that (murder), he said he will be better” and “i want to give him a second (seventh) chance” while everyone else is side eying each other and shaking their heads and jokingly (it is not a joke) making plans to kill that guy if they hurt their friend again. clark shares a relationship woe and all of their advice is “dump him”. everyone is desperately trying to find clarks standards and get it out of hell.

Dying at this. I guess the only consolation all these worried parties have is that once they've met Bruce, they can see without a doubt that this crazy man is ALSO obsessed with Clark in the same undeniable way and would probably never let harm come to him, save obviously his own. But like, at least they know Lex Luthor isn't gonna get a hit in? Bruce would tear him apart??

#arkham prince #arkham prince au #batman #bruce wayne #dc #asks #anon #clark kent #superman #superbat #fic ideas

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safely-in-vhagars-belly · 1 month ago

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The Art of Torture

(Aemond x oc/reader)

Concept: Aemond takes your home town.

CW: parental abuse, sex, titty sucking, incest, rape (not oc/aemond) childbirth, forced adoption, blood, gore, extreme descriptions of extreme gore and blood. torture. Murder, blood licking, tasting, tons of blood. Murder of innocents. Smut. Sex. loss of virginty, Aemond's sexual trauma, Aemond's eye trauma. Aemond being an idiot. I love forshadowing. Pay close attention.

There is more to torture than just killing. Torture, is an artform in a way. Only those with the right skills should perform it. Torture is breaking into someone's mind, understanding their thoughts, their fears and swaying them into trusting the enemy. An art on its own. Lost to most. You, you have been raised by the cruelest man alive. Brutus Bolton, your own father. And now, the gods, fate, destiny, however you want to call it: Has caught up with him at long last. And soon, your story will change.

The smell of blood hangs heavy in the air, choking the oxygen out of it. Aemond Targaryen’s long legs strut through the muddy snow, as he and his men look around for any survivors who can tell them where that coward fled to. It’s humiliating.

Aemond wipes his brow, putting a loose hair behind his ear, as he tightens his braid, barely keeping his locks together. Everywhere he looks, he sees dead corpses lying in the snow, their throats slit or heads removed. I’m not his dog.

A soldier runs past Aemond, barely paying him any mind, running off with a captured screaming, crying woman. They don’t respect me. He doesn’t respect me. I’ll never not be a shadow.

Screams, cries, begs, grunts, moans, all noise for Gods who do not listen. Prayers and begs for mercy that gods don’t have. A typical and yet unheard of war scene where Aemond’s troops play the main role. What did I do, but what was expected of me?

He would normally be disgusted by the behaviour of his soldiers. But today, today he does not care. He cannot bring himself to care about the life of the smallfolk on a regular basis. Today, they truly cross paths on an awful day. Let them rot in the deepest, seventh hell.

Prince Aemond had returned, carrying Lucery’s eyes with him. He offered the eyes to the Queen Dowager, his own mother. She slapped them out of his hands, cursing his name and embarrassed him in front of his brother’s court. Aegon agreed that Aemond had talents better suited elsewhere and now he’s up in the ‘’frozen shithole’’ as he calls it, capturing traitors no one truly gives a fuck about. Who cares what Brutus Bolton or his deranged sons are up to? They’re Boltons. They’re not Starks, they’re not Lannisters. Aemond being used to capture petty thieves is an insult that grazes and cuts him deeply.

A little girl runs away from a home he passes, tripping over a corpse on her way to freedom. Aemond watches as the soldier catches up to her, slamming the axe on the back of her head. The axe hits so deep, that Aemond can hear how it leaves her skin and hits the stones of the road. At least, he thinks he did. He might be imagining it.

One of the soldiers becomes a little bit uneasy, at this child dying. Aemond finds it strange. Why does a child matter above a adult? Is this some hypcrosim he’s too noble to understand? Or some matter of humanity he’s too dead inside to get?

One of his soldiers stares at the murdered girl. ‘’My Prince,’’ he falls before Aemond. Aemond feels the urge to kick him with his boots but resists the tempting urge for now. He knows this man. Lewin. Lewis? Lendry? Luckey?

The man reminds Aemond of his name. ‘’Aeron, my prince.’’ Ah. Not even close, oh well.

He does not like that name. ‘’You have something to say, Aeron?’’

Aeron seems to understand what a terrible mood Aemond is, and hesitates. But he does speak up to his Prince. ‘’I do. I know the Boltons offended you in great ways, but surely…This village belongs to the Starks. We should not loot, rape, pillage, and destory. We should only punish the Boltons.’’ The Prince laughs, barking with laughter at that idotic request. So he’s one of those fools.

Aemond leans in closer, staring at the woven small wooden beads the man wears. ‘’You think if the roles were reversed, they would think twice about raping your little sister in her maiden cunny? I have seen your sister. She’d be luckily if they slit her throat afterwards.’’ He waits to break eye contact to make sure the message is received. He pats his sword after.

‘’Either way you walk on, or you get on your knees and I’ll kill you for deserting. Your choice but make it fast. I’ve got other things to do.’’

As suspected, Aeron does not kneel and walks on, a lot paler than before. He reaches a strange house in the village. No warmth comes from it. No fire is burning inside. Who in their right minds-

‘’The Boltons have run. Can we now go join the others?’’ One of the other men asks Aemond, whining as a brat. Aemond looks at his face, filled with red spots, his crooked nose and his rotting teeth. Of course he would want to rape a woman. There’s no woman who would even touch that with a ten feet pole. ‘’King Aegon promised us rewards.’’ That’s when Aemond snaps.

Aegon is not here. He is. Aegon is laying in his bed, sleeping, warm, comfortable, when he’s out here, freezing, walking with blisters, wearing swords and daggers and protecting the kingdom, doing his duty when Aegon puts another bastard in some whore.

He does not warn the soldier. He just smacks him on the back of his head. ‘’You want to join your fellow soldiers? You can choose. You can join them into raping these whores after we are finally done, or you can join them in the afterlife after I’ve impaled your throat. Your choice.’’

‘’What a butch of men. Half of you are cowards, others of you would be better off at the wall.’’

And what does that say about Aegon? Either he didn’t know…

Or worse.

Aegon didn’t care to send good men with Aemond. Aegon wanted Aemond humbled, humiliated. Well, it looks like he’ll get his wish granted.

Aemond and his men pass the house, not paying any mind. Until Aemond hears a soft little noise that would go unnoticed for most inside the house. A very subtle breathe. Someone releasing their breath. He takes his sword out, and kicks the door open of the house. The door has been rotting from within, worms and other vermin greet Aemond as they slither and crawl outside, paying no mind to him or his men.

He pushes through, ignoring the darkness. The entire cottage is dark, said for the middle of the room, where a corpse is surrounded by four small candles. A young woman sits by the corpse, wearing a grey sack that barely suits her beautiful roundings. Aemond keeps the sword nearby, but does not bother to attack. It looks like he found Brutus Bolton, at long last. ‘’Who is that corpse?’’ Aemond asks.

One of the soldiers sets a step closer, but not too much. They seem to fear the woman. ‘’It’s Brutus. That must be his bastard. His daughter.’’ He says. ‘’We found no traces of her brothers. Maybe she knows where they went.’’ Aemond’s mouth makes a disapproving line when he hears the word bastard. But that does mean, she likely won’t have a husband. Her brothers fled, and her father is dead. She’ll comply, make a lovely hostage and if need be some company for the road.

You hear footsteps approaching, and via the broken glazing plate you put by the counters of the kitchen, you can see the fearsome prince approaching you. You keep your head down, your body shaking as you look at your father’s corpse. Your hands red, stained with blood after hugging him after the unspeakable crimes committed upon him. You repeat the same prayer over and over. The knife is just a reach away. The knife that was used to murder him. Your hands are stained with patterns and prints of sin, death, murder. Crimson drips from your fingertips as you clutch your dress, leaving bloody prints.

The Prince seems to halt in his cold approach. He sees you the way a man sees a woman. He sees you weak. He sees an orphan girl, now at the mercy of a group of killers. He sees a deer lured into the wolf’s den. You allow him to approach closer.

He does pity her. She has a lovely face, said for a ugly scar by her throat. He wonders how she got it. She smells horrible. Like death and rot. But he does not care. He will have his answers.

You scootch forward, ignoring the prince that was ready to put his hand on your shoulder, to alart you of his presence. Your father’s eyes are wide, and open, staring at the rotting ceiling.

His eyes describe horrors, Aemond notices right away when inspecting the corpse. Whatever killed him, it was gruesome. It was merciless and it was deadly. He smiles at the corpse. Whoever killed him, will be granted a reward. ‘’Find me who killed this fuck. They will be rewarded.’’ Aemond says, instantly. The soldier rushes off to spread his word, while the other four share confused looks. All but one.

The ugly soldier steps forward, and Aemond takes two step to protect his own nose. ‘’I killed him.’’ The ugly soldier says. Aemond does not even respond to that idiot. ‘’My Prince? I claim this girl as my reward…’’ He walks to the weeping girl. Aemond’s head bends in their direction.

You shriek, backing away from the smelling soldier. You smelled some corpses in your life. Saw some rats. Lived in a room filled where hounds live. But none of it smelled as he did. You just don’t want to be near his smell. ‘’How did you kill him, you were with me the entire time, you idiot. That girl is my only lead. You’ll let her be or I’ll have your head.’’ Your eyes sparkle at that threat, smiling at the prince. He does not return your smile, ignoring your thankfulness.

You think it’s time to let him now know. You played with them long enough.

You clutch your father’s dead corpse, and bend your head on his chest. You open your mouth and instead of weeping…

A horrifying, disturbing, unworldly, and utterly terrifying sharp chuckles of pure joy escape you as you clap your bloodied hands in delight. The soldier that wanted to rape you earlier now quickly puts his tiny cock away, staring at you in shock. You don't even acknowledge him. You begin to tear and break the bones of your father, putting the knife in his skin as you pry loose bones and skin alike.

The Prince sets a step towards you, intrigued by what you are doing. Aeron, horrified, hides behind his commander, the Prince. He never saw such bloodthrist. “Good gods-” one of his men begins to mutter but Aemond silences his wordlessly, his eye resting upon the youngest Bolton as you begin to remove the skin of your victim. Your father.

He watches with his breath as you remove the one after the other piece of skin; first timid and gentle, small pieces but eventually you learn what is in your blood, one way or another. The flesh tears loose and you rips it from the skin, flaying him fully. You release a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. You always pictured this moment, every time he beat you, every time he starved or hurt you: You pictured this moment. And now, now it’s here. You revel in his blood, smearing it over your face and body as a cry of happiness.

You revel in the delight and the blood as you happily lick off your fingers and hands, staring at the Prince as he clears his throat interrupting you. “That man was to be my hostage.” he informs you, staring at you.

You need to take a closer look at him. So you do. You stand up, your grey dress following you around because it's so big. You tilt your head at the strange man. Studying his hair and his lovely scar. You never saw a Valyrian. He seems surprised by your length as most men are.

Women are not supposed to be tall. Women are supposed to be fragile, weak, small, tiny and to be easily mastered. It is unlike their nature to assume that even the tiniest woman can reach up to grab a crown. And that even the largest woman can be seductive.

He has to admit to himself, you have a pretty face. A face too pretty to be wasted on some Northern savage. “You're the Prince.” You say, your head tilted sideways, your eyes and brows betraying that you found his approach confusing. “Have I done something wrong? I thought you ordered the death of the traitor.” You let out another harrowing cackle, patting your father’s skull, stroking it as if it is a mere flower. “He will look so lovely when the crows pick his eyeballs out.” you fantasies out loud, sharing your disturbing fantasies with the Prince.

She stares at the ugly soldier, licking blood off her thumb that she did not quite reach the first time. ‘’And you, you wanted to claim my kill. Quite rude.’’ Aemond ignores confusing feelings as he stares at you lick blood. He is supposed to be repelled. Why isn’t he? Why does he find her…pretty?

You smile, offering the prince your father’s skull. ‘’Your skull, my Prince.’’ You make a clumsy curtsy that fails miserably. ‘’I’m afraid the rest of his body is not for you. I have my own plans with it. But you can show your brother that you did a excellent job, here in the North.’’ You think back of all the delicious cries and screams you heard earlier, and chuckle. They were never friends.

Aemond inspects the skull, or the head, rather, and nods, giving it to a very disgusted Aeron. ‘’Now I need to figure out what I’ll do with you.’’ Aemond says, hoping the girl offers him some options. He has a few things in mind. She smiles. ‘’My men are quite lonely.’’

You snort with laughter, so hard that you sound as a pig. Aemond’s mask of stoic seems to break as a slow smile appears. ‘’Your men are little boys and cowards. I would not call them ‘Men’.’’ You say, turning around to collect your dagger. ‘’I do have one suggestion. You can take it or leave it. But I bet you want my brothers too, don’t you, Prince Aemond One Eye?’’ You smile, staring at the lovely detailed scar. He scowls, offended you brought up his scar. You reassure him by walking around him, giving him a flirty smile. ‘’I always thought every man should have scars, each for every victory they fought. And I heard, you are quite the victorious man. Or did I misheard?’’

Aeron does not trust this strange woman. He does not like how half of the crew is afraid and Aemond is hanging on her lips. ‘’My prince, this woman is clearly a witch or mentally deranged. I think we should count our losses and leave this very instant-’’

‘’Shut up before I’ll take your tongue out.’’ Aemond growls. ‘’She’s right about you lot. Cowards and one ugly raper. You’re not men. Next time, I’ll set out with women. They clearly know what they’re doing.’’ He says as you remove a stubborn piece of nut from one of your teeth with the dagger. ‘’Continue. You were going to offer me something. Something even sweeter than the blood on your face, perhaps?’’ He leans in, scooping a bit of blood off your face. You do find him attractive. You watch as he mirrors your action, tasting the blood and licking his own fingers off. You chuckle, delighted.

The woman claps her hands, delighted and even jumps up and down. Aemond is confused. She seems very childish, in some ways. But he kind of adores it. He likes that free spirit. He likes her innocence, and yet her dark rotten nature. ‘’Oh, you have no idea. My brothers, I know where they are.’’ He can feel that this will end in a good way. He can’t help but stare at her breasts.

The ugly soldier sadly tugs his coat, ruining his daydream.‘’You can’t believe this heathen. Who even would kill his own kin? Nothing so accursed as a…’’ The man stops talking, realising that Aemond has taken out his sword. He glares at the man, challenging him to continue. Kinslayer.

She smiles, lowering his blade subtly. ‘’I can find them for you. You’ll be back in your brother’s good graces.’’ But Aemond is not a fool. He knows that nothing comes without a price.

‘’And in return?’’ He asks, brows raised slightly.

You chuckle, liking the way where this is going. You could list all sort of beautiful rewards. Hm. What could you possibly want? ‘’You let me kill them. I want them to die a slow, painful death.’’ You tell him, staring at his hands. ‘’I want them to crave death. I want to inflict so much pain and misery on them that they already feel as if they parted this world and are in the deepest seventh hell.’’ You stare at the dragon pins on his coat, suddenly your interest peaking at seeing a dragon up close. ‘’Oh, and I want to ride with you on the dragon's back. I heard you have one.’’ You didn’t hear anything, truth be told. You kind of guessed it.

‘’Vhagar and I would be honoured.’’ Your whole world stops spinning at that one moment. You pull your necklace in your dress, your walls crumbling and you feel exposed and vulnerable. You had no comfort growing up. Your own family were monsters. And so you longed for your own monster. A monster to protect you. To keep you safe. One day, you heard stories of Visenya, a woman who is according to some monsters too. She rode the big beast Vhagar. You fell asleep, wishing you had a visenya. You fell asleep, crying, wanting anyone, someone, to protect you.

And now here he is. The protector. Your chance for freedom. With Vhagar of all dragons.

‘’You have her dragon? Visenya’s dragon?’’ Your voice becomes soft, timid, unsure, something you weren’t sure you could even hear in your own voice. Hope.

Aemond seems to notice her changing body language right away. ‘’Indeed I do.’’ He folds his hands on his back, tilting his head, smirking at her big eyes, and her stunned expression. That might be the first time she’s genuinely sincere and in awe of him. He likes this genuine excitement more than whatever she tried to do earlier.

You try to keep your walls around you, protecting your heart.

‘’Well, I must meet her.’’ You say, as a matter of fact.

The Prince stops you before you can rush off. ‘’First things first. Shall we go to my camp, mayhaps we can discuss our plans, and share a nice cup of wine while we’re add it?’’

–

His camp is nearby. You are allowed to bathe the blood away. You are led into the royal tent, the one where Aemond sleeps in. You marvel at his royal bed linen and his collection of books and swords. ‘’You can stay here. I don’t trust others enough.’’ He reveals to you, as he prepares two cups of wine. You know who he refers to. His soldiers.

Aemond and you sit down. ‘’You want to work with me then? Even after I killed that village?’’ He keeps his sword closeby. It does sound like madness….

If those villagers weren’t the deepest cursed creatures of the seventh deepest hells.You feel the anger rise up inside of you. ‘’I wasn’t friends with that village. They knew. Everyone in that godsdamned village knew. If they didn’t end my pain, why would I end theirs?’’ Aemond is silent, but nods along, as if agreeing with your anger. ‘’My only regret is that their suffering was just a night and not from days to years.’’ You say, and you mean every word. No suffering is enough.

You notice you become distant, so you mask your emotions. ‘’You want to talk strategy?’’

You want to put your hand on his knee but he moves position so you cannot. ‘’Yes. Where are they?’’ Aemond does not wait for your schemes, waiting impatiently for answers. That is a complicated answer.

You laugh. He is funny. He thinks you’ll answer him right away. ‘’I’m not telling you. I’m worried you’ll drop me off and don’t let me come along once I tell you. But rest assured, I’ll lead you to them.’’

‘’That sounds like a trap.’’ Aemond says, observant. You roll your eyes, showing him your dagger. He nearly jumps, seeing the blade you had hidden away. You shrug.

‘’I have you alone here. If I wanted you dead, you’d be such a pretty corpse by now.’’ You say, touching his lips with your blade. You put it away, smirking, oblivious to his longing stare, and his silence. You notice his bloodied sword and his silent glance. You smile, crawling on his lap as you begin to clean the sword for him. ‘’You don’t mind me sitting here, do you? It’s a bit cold.’’ You lie.

You only feel his hands wrap around your throat. You are worried for one split second, afraid he’ll finally kill you. But his eye says something else. You are kissed the next moment. You allow yourself to nibble on his lips, feel his face, and quickly remove the eyepatch. Aemond pushes you off, hurt and shame burning in his eye. ‘’No.’’ He manages to croak out.

You freeze, eyepatch in hand. He covers his eye. ‘’I don’t…’’ He says, breathing heavily. You see yourself. You drop the eyepatch, but do return to his side. You take his free hand, feeling the long fingers. You gently remove his hand from his eye. He stares at you, ashamed as only one eye looks back now. One eye, and a hideous scar that no doubt brings him so much pain and shame.

‘’I told you before, men should have scars. I don’t mind that you have them.’’ You repeat, feeling the scar gently with your fingertips. You leave a kiss on his lips. You don’t expect him to return to whatever was happening, but you notice some determination breaking through him. He grabs you by your hips, kissing you back, first gently, then hungry, almost needy, as if he will die without you. You and him kiss as Aemond removes your dress, kissing your breasts and he halts by the scars on your throat. You don’t want to talk about it. But you know you must if you want to earn his trust. ‘’They threw me to the hounds when I was three.’’ You admit. Aemond doesn’t say a word. ‘’I didn’t die, unfortunately. I instead befriended them. I became their leader.’’ He is speechless still.

You carefully kiss him back, eager for something now that that pain comes back out of its shell. A distraction on your part, you are certain. You play along however, for now.

“What is it that you want?” He whispers in her ear. She has got to be the most haunted and cursed soul he ever saw. And yet he cannot deny that he wants her. But he has a mission, so he must bed her easily, and then she’ll leave his mind for good. “I'll be gentle.” He promises her. “And kind. You'll be taken care of.”

Her chuckle betrays that she feels better, and less upset, reminded by her traumas.

“What if I don't want it to be gentle and kind?’’ His mouth slightly opens in a confused manner, as you begin to undress him now too. ‘’What if I want that man…” she reaches for his manhood, surprising and arousing him. “that took my home town?” You grin.

He is aroused you can tell by all the signs. Yet he seems to deny himself this pleasure.

“You want that?’ He asks, confused.

You roll your eyes, playfully. “I want you, Aemond. I want the Kinslayer and the one eyed prince. I want to see your darkness and that you poison me with it from within.” You bow your head to his cock and begin to gently suck on it, as Aemond relaxes, sighing.

“Gods be good,” He whispers. She laughs much softer and begins to trust her hips to his front, gently beginning what both of them wanted. She puts his hands on her hips, learning him a new exciting thing. He normally fucks women lying down.

“I am not very …” He knows he should tell her. But he cannot bring the words over his lips. Instead he stares at her, with a heartbreaking sadness in his eyes. She caresses his face again.

You are dumbstruck. How can such a mighty creature think so lowly of itself?

“You'll be fine.” you promise him instead of laughing. “You ride fiercer creatures. You ride a dragon. How scary can a girl be, once you have tamed and claimed a dragon?’’ He seems to lighten up at this joke, joining you at long last. You feel him penetrate and you hold back the first soft moans.

You smile, enjoying your position. But suddenly, something seems to click in Aemond’s mind. He seems to wake up for the spell you put him under. You are flipped within a moment, now under him. He pins you down and begins to roughly fuck you instead. ‘’You wanted me? You’ll get me.’’ He whispers, before slamming inside of you. You ignore the jab of pain and betrayal and let the man do as he wishes, knowing well you still will get pleasure out of it. But you aren’t sure if Aemond trusts you more or less after you and him have done this. Aemond isn’t happy with how things are going, and instead resorts to an older technique he learned in the brothel. He yanks her up by her long hair, bending her on the bed, ass towards him. He forces her down, climbing slightly on her body and fucks her from behind. He hears her approving cries as he begins to reach his height, ecstasy blinding him.

You never had done this before, and you are thankful for it. It is true that Aemond is not the most considerate bed partner, but you would have to be blind to not notice something is deeply wrong with him. He has some disdain and shyness towards the bedroom that seems to remind you of how girls who served your father acted. He might pretend he’s a tough prince, but deep down, you know he’s broken from the core, and only a few strings keep him standing up. Aemond groans, reminding you of your duties as your thoughts race, and you buck back, allowing him to take you as he likes. ‘’Fuck me, kinslayer.’’ You whisper, rubbing his legs. He groans a reply, in a strange tongue you don’t know and takes you much faster, much rougher. It’s less elegant and less gentle, it hurts, if you’re being honest. But you like it way too much to call him to a stop. You hear Aemond finally come, and its the most amazing feeling in the world, aside from killing as he fills you with his seed. He thinks he holds the power, but you do. You made him lose control. You made him come. You smirk, glad Aemond is still facing the other side.

‘’I do mean it. I want to know where your brothers are. This distraction, it won’t save you.’’ He adds, panting heavily. ‘’I…’’

You ignore his stuttering and turn back around, gaze upon him as some smitten maid and kiss his lips again. ‘’Do not worry. I will have my revenge.’’ You say, clearly. Aemond nods, agreeing to your words. ‘’And so will you.’’ You add. ‘’You will have it all. The realm..’’You rub his legs as he lays next to you, panting still. You are breathless too. You are also still aroused. You didn't get to finish. You kiss his balls. ‘’The throne..’’You add, making direct eye contact. Aemond’s brows frown, but his eyes are closed. He seems to know that its wrong to want, but he wants it regardless. You place yourself back on his cock. ‘’The world.’’ You finish, and begin to trust your hips, chasing your own pleasure. Aemond allows this, and holds you and takes you as well as he can but its clear that he didn’t keep your pleasure in mind. You come, crying out as you soak his cock. Aemond has his eyes still closed, but now there’s a pleasant cheeky smile on his lips.

‘’I do want it.’’ He admits, holding your hands suddenly.

‘’The realm?’’

‘’The world.’’

‘’’Then what is stopping you? I saw you with the flock you call men. I saw you riding your horse, I saw you commanding your men. You are meant for all of it.’’ You tell him, smirking.

‘’You care for what?’’

‘’Maybe I’m hoping once you’ll become King, I’ll become your Queen. And we burn villages atop of Vhagar together. Drink wine out of our enemies skulls, burn houses of traitors with them locked in the basements, dance in blood, play games with bones.’’ You whisper, letting the fantasy take over.

Aemond avoids your eyes. ‘’I must marry to keep my blood pure, if I were the King.’’ He says, and you don’t like how much pain he causes with that little sentence. You nod, blinking as some idiot at his rejection. His eye sparkles, however. ‘’But, if you have some villages in mind, we can go now. I have a free hour.’’ He says. You dive atop of him, kissing his lips as you eagerly get into your clothes. Aemond follows, much slower, but also eager.

Aemond prepares for Vhagar as you patiently wait, picking your dagger back up, hiding it in your boots. You hear Aemond laugh as he greets his dragon. You walk behind him, the dagger burning in your boots. The soldiers don’t mind the two of you, as night has befallen the camp. You wait until Aemond has come to fetch you. ‘’What is the matter? Have you changed your mind?’’ He asks. You feel the dagger burn. You stare at Vhagar. Vhagar roars, in warry.

‘’I have.’’ You proclaim.

Aemond’s smile dies as you take out your dagger.

You look at him. ‘’I was sent to kill you, Prince Aemond. I was sent and hired by your sister to kill you. She would give me so much riches if I did.’’ You recall your deal with Rhaenyra as Aemond gawks, the guards quickly surrounding you. You put your dagger back in your boot. ‘’However, I suggest we do something more fun. I suggest, we make her think I’ve captured you, and you show up with your dragon and burn her to a crisp. How does that sound?’’

Aemond only smiles. ‘’I accept. On one condition.’’ You wait, staring at him.

‘’You will ride beside me when I burn her and the other bastards. You will also tell me where your brothers are.’’ He says. ‘’Or I’ll kill you right now.’’

You chuckle again. ‘’My brothers are at different locations..’’ You say, grinning. ''One is at the Red keep. Another, at Oldtown. Another again, marches in the North.''

He frowns. He looks at your face, again, and again and it finally hits him. It hits him so hard, that the sword clatters from his hands and falls to the ground. He begins to cough, violently. You open your arms, smiling. Brutus didn’t father you. Brutus raised you. On behalf of someone in the Red Keep. Someone who wanted to keep you alive, but a secret. ‘’Hello, brother. It is a honor to finally meet you.'' You fold your hands on your back and wait for Aemond to speak. You give him a grin, but its a bit too much for Aemond. He is caught by two guards before he faints, hitting the ground as Vhagar huffs, returning to her sleep at last.

A/N

Idk whats even going on she was so keen on being Brutus' daughter what do you mean she is LARYS daughter with Alicent or maybe Cole and alicents daughter what do you mean?! WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN.

yeah, i dont write outlines so this is a surprise for me as much as its for you all! I do like Aemond fainting like thats fair, man. I'd faint too if that was my sister. Girlie needs help.

thank you if you read.

let me know what you think if you stomached through it.

#aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #dark aemond targaryen #house of the dragon fanfiction #dark aemond targaryen x oc #darkfantasy #hotd #aemond one eye #aemond #Aemond targaryen x oc #Dark fics

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liminalmemories21 · 3 months ago

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Comfort Fanfic Reccs

Okay, following on from @black-quadrant's post yesterday about comfort fandoms - what are your old school comfort fics? The ones from fandoms that haven't been active in yeeeaaars, but you've read so many times you can practically quote them.

With Six You Get Eggroll by @cesperanza (Due South - Fraser/Ray K - post series)

Ray burst out laughing. "Benny! You've developed a sense of humor!" "Yes, Ray." Fraser lowered the gun and showed him an amused look. "Six immaculate conceptions will do that to you."

Hide of a Life War by @etharei (Teen Wolf - Derek/Stiles)

“We have received confirmation that there is a hostage situation in progress at a warehouse compound two hours out of Los Angeles, following a multiple-vehicle pileup on Highway 101 this morning...” The one in which Stiles has lived to (legal) adulthood and, along the way, become a bit of a badass himself.

Illogical (√π233/hy7) by @waldorph (Star Trek Reboot - Kirk/Spock - AU)

If Kirk was a maths genius, and never took Pike up on the dare to do better, but still managed to get to Starfleet? This is what that would look like.

Domestic-verse by @gyzym (Inception - Arthur/Eames)

People you kiss in an airport baggage claim and then don't talk to for thirteen months shouldn't be able to exist, let alone make your chest do the things Arthur's chest is doing. There are rules.

The Age of Aquarius by @cesperanza (West Wing - Josh/Donna)

"You know," Toby said, pulling a cigar out of his inside coat pocket and regarding it thoughtfully, "I never found your relationship with Donna particularly baffling. I just figured you ran on sexual frustration like the rest of us."

Drastically Redefining Protocol by @rageprufrock (Merlin - Merlin/Arthur - AU)

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

Don't You Shake Alone by @dsudis (Generation Kill - Nate/Brad)

Nate looked exactly like Brad always pictured him: exhausted in the full life-in-a-combat-zone sense of the word.

Retrograde by LtLJ (Stargate Atlantis - mostly Gen - eventually McKay/Shepard)

The Atlantis expedition has been lost for three years. SG-1 goes to find them, and arrives just a little too late.

Somewhere I Have Never Traveled by @seperis (Smallville - Clark/Lex)

Clark decides on a change of lifestyle. Lex decides on a change in the status quo. And the world's doomed.

Lust over Pendle-verse by AJ Hall (Harry Potter - Draco/Neville - yes, I know JKR is trash, the fic is still excellent)

Lust Over Pendle is a comedy of manners set in the Golden Age detective thriller genre, and is presumed to take place after the end of the seventh Harry Potter book, and, therefore, after the fall of Voldemort.

open tag, but specifically calling out some people I know have been around fandom for a while @alchemistc, @dadvans, @walkinginland, @freneticfloetry, @cecilyv, @sloganeer, @screamlet, @irispurpurea, @rcmclachlan, and @hereghostslive

#due south #teen wolf #merlin #west wing #generation kill #HP #inception #star trek reboot #stargate atlantis #smallville #fic recs

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hoverboards-and-dragons · 1 year ago

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Posting this before watching the finale potentially disprove any of my headcanons

the sins find their seventh, crashing in at just the right time, and he is so small

any depiction of fallen angels that doesn't have them literally plummet from heaven through earth and into hell, crashing through at least 3 rings, is a waste of potential in my opinion, should be left in a shell shocked mess of bloodied feathers and broken bones wondering where it all went wrong, staring up desperately at the sky as if waiting for someone to come take them back,

Lucifer is still up at 3am some nights contemplating if his Father actually intended him to die between the blood loss, loud announcement of his presence and being surrounded by demons while grievously injured

the sins were fun, especially coming up with designs for the 3 unseen(beloved Levi), i changed them up a little since I headcanon they didn't get their circus theme until they were united them by Luci as their ring leader, finally bringing cohesion to their dispirit exaggerated demeanours

Its ambiguous, even to the sins, if the prince chooses the sin or if the sin chooses the prince

Does someone become a prince of hell by embodying one of the seven deadly sins completely, or when someone becomes a demon prince, their most apparent trait become a deadly sin

Months in hell passed before, one at a time, they had the quiet realization that Luci was The Sin Of Pride, who the fuck knows when or how that happened he sure doesn't

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin hotel headcanon #hellaverse #helluva boss #helluva boss beelzebub #helluva boss belphegor #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss satan #helluva boss Leviathan #viziepop #helluva boss fanart #hazbin hotel fanart

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dramioneasks · 1 year ago

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Top 10 Most Favourited (Completed) Fics on FFNET of 2023:

Wilted Rose and Muddy Blood: A Dramione Fic by Raptor.Elephant - M, 25 chapters, Words: 34,001 - Lavender Brown makes a bet with Hermione that she can't win over the Slytherin Prince in a month. Hermione wonders why she agreed... she could never stand a chance of winning, right? Rated for minor adult themes and language. R&R. COMPLETE... FINALLY!

The Education of a Lady by thewanderers'wanderingdaughter - M, 34 chapters, Words: 365,605 - COMPLETE. Fourth and final (for real this time) part in the His Little Bird series. The story of survival, betrayal, and tragedy. A monster took everything from her. Now she's expected to be a willing participant in the world he's built for them. They want her to become one of them. She only wants vengeance, and now that she has her power back, she can make that a reality.

If Only by SarahFraser - M, 25 chapters, Words: 99,891 - Fourteen years after Draco and Hermione break up, Draco accompanies his son, Scorpius, to Kings Cross for his first year at Hogwarts. Thirteen-year-old twins, Mila and Milo, get their first in person glimpse of the father that abandoned them before birth. After Mila confronts her father for abandoning them, Draco seeks Hermione out on the platform to find out what the hell is going

I'm a What? He's My What? Well Hell! by clumsydolphin - T, 18 chapters, Words: 34,168 - This is a very unusual Veela tale! I promise if ya peek inside it's a surprise! Now complete!

Blackmailed by Mistress Lynn - M, 14 chapters, Words: 49.867 - Draco finds out something pertaining to the war that Hermione would do anything to prevent from getting out. How far is she willing to go to protect her secret? DM/HG, Draco M./Hermione G. 7th Year Hogwarts, war AU, Dramione, lots of banter! COMPLETE! WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit, 2nd Place Dom!Draco (but he's totally a switch here)

Mother: Unknown by HufflepuffMommy - M, 42 chapters, Words: 108,211 - After the battle, Draco Malfoy was given something he never thought he wanted—a daughter. The only problem? He didn't know who the mother of his child was. Six years after the war, Hermione Granger moves to the states, to a small coastal town in Maine. There, she runs into a familiar wizard—along with his outgoing, precious daughter. NOW COMPLETE!

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#dramione #year wrap up #favourite fics #2023 #ffnet

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willowed-wisp · 9 months ago

Text

HER KNIGHT, HIS HEART - part eight

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Ser Harwin Strong x female!OC/ x reader

WARNINGS: swearing, descriptions of childbirth, mentions child loss, suggestive themes, violence, Criston Cole getting his ass kicked

TEN YEARS LATER…

Elspeth was on a mission, her destination were Alicent’s chambers. Every part of the woman was swollen and she didn’t know whether it were her breasts or beneath her diaphragm that burned. It had been like that very early on in her seventh pregnancy.

Nobody was surprised when she popped out an army, the depravity sounding from their chambers… it wouldn’t take a genius to know she’d become pregnant over and over.

Their eldest, Alyric, was three-and-ten while their youngest, Lyonei, was four.

Knocking on the door… she met a mop of platinum blonde, a strong jaw followed. Her stare lasted mere seconds, turning attention to the open-eyed, mortified sister of hers. “Alicent…” Her head shunned away. Now her focus remained on that of the Rogue Prince- who had been tamed by Laena Velaryon that past decade, “What in the hells did you say?”

“Only the truth, daughter…”

Storming over to him, “I will never be your daughter!” She stared up at him, the same scowl he himself had and the same wickedness- even in High Valyrian. It was returned with a smile.

“The blood of the dragon runs thick…” By the Gods, she would stab him if she got the chance.

“I’m nothing like you.”

“That’s yet to be seen.”

She reminded herself of why she was here- why had he been there in the first place? “What business do you have here?”

“I was asking The Queen if my grandchildren might accompany the princes down to the Dragonpit…”

“Can you stop speaking fucking Valyrian? Prince Daemon, please leave. My sister and I have matters to discuss…” He gave a less than respectful bow. They both seethed. “You are his kin. And it somehow slipped your mind to inform me!” That was their mother in her.

Elspeth's own anger boiled deeper- primal even. Yet she contained that eruption- it wasn't good for the baby. For now. “Father told me well over a decade ago,” that struck a heartstring in the younger, “I didn’t say anything to protect you… you had more than enough on your shoulders.” Elspeth observed the face change. “I was embarrassed.”

“How so?”

“I am a bastard, Alicent. I’ve been trying to escape it… escape him… keep him away from my children,” Rage turned to recoil- for fifteen years she had felt hopeless with the sword over her head, “Please, sister… understand that... I need to protect them…”

It wasn't a scapegoat nor did she cry crocodile tears... she had always been trying to keep her kids safe. It didn’t matter if Alyric was thirteen, he still couldn’t deal with the likes of Daemon Targaryen. Even if his own father was Lord Commander of the City Watch. Luckily for her sanity the prince along with his wife and twin girls were headed to Pentos that next day.

"When you were younger you always looked up to me... what changed?" An ambush down the corridor.

A roll of her eyes, "Could we have this conversation later? Every part of me is swollen, my ribs are like daggers and I cannot be bothered with your manipulation today..." Despite the agony she paced quicker, or so she thought.

"You're just like your mother," Gods, did she wish she was armed.

Continuing forward, "Don't talk about my mother. Not after the pain you caused her."

His hand, with a surprising level of gentleness turned her to face him- the eight month old bump affirmed a comfortable distance. "What did Otto Hightower tell you? That I attacked Alyrie?"

"Didn’t you? Then why am I here with your blood in my veins..."

A sincere, stern look on the man's face- he hesitated in his words, "The times I shared with your mother were of her choice... my decisions may be... questionable, at times... but I’m not heartless." She shoved him away, unsure.

"That's yet to be seen, my prince..." She did the proper action of a curtsy, unable to commit to it fully due to her condition. That confused her even more.

Had her father lied to her all of those years? An entire decade.

She did naturally have a liking for Daemon in an idolisation type of manner, they shared the same temperament; knowing fully well why they did.

The woman needed to see her children, probably in the courtyard…

She shares his majesty’s presence on the balcony- spying if her wayward children and husband were in fact there. “Your Grace,” she curtsied with some labour. It had definitely been the hardest pregnancy- even when her twin boys, Jaimes and Ronin, made home in her stomach. She hoped the bloating would fade when she delivered- not wishing to feel blistered her entire life.

The King- dishevelled due to illness- waved his hand, “No need for such formalities, Elspeth- we are family,” he didn’t know how closely related they truly were.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” he motioned for her to take a perch- she smiled up at the Hand of the King, her father-in-law.

Turning her attention down to the courtyard she saw no knight of the name Harwin Strong, only that of Criston Cole. With him, the princes and her own children stood. Listening to every word he said. “I’m going to see if Ser Criston requires assistance with training,” her feet despised her but she stood. Buckling slightly, held firmly by Lyonel.

“Maybe some rest would benefit you, Elspeth,” the man said with caution. “Ser Criston is the best swordsmen in the Seven Kingdoms- he can handle training the children…”

She patted the hand on her shoulder, “Rest is for the dead,” she joked, though she could be in the grave that very next month.

Early on into her pregnancy she was diagnosed with ‘toxic birth disease’. The mortality rate was… devastatingly high, and she informed the Maesters not to divulge to her Lord husband- he worried so…

She would make it through… she had to for the children she made her way down for.

That same courtyard she used to hack training mannequins and Harwin would always catch her. But now she bore witness to her own children- even her own girls alongside their brothers and cousins.

Alyric stood out like a sore thumb, tall and already gaining his father’s ballast. Even his smile was like Harwin’s and his fighting stance. That grin turned into a scowl, and shouting commenced. “Ser Criston, Luke is struggling, if I may-,”

“No little Lord Strong, you may not. Lucerys must learn, as I did from the pommel of a sword or the blade itself,” Elspeth liked neither the condescension nor the tone the knight used. “If you’re a trained warrior, Alyric, spar with me.” He grappled the front of the boy’s shirt, who was able to maintain balance from the brute force.

She staved off intruding- Alyric wouldn’t care for the embarrassment of conceding because of his mother being protective. Like his father, Alyric was formidable in stature and presence but that didn’t provide technique.

Ser Criston presumed he would have the eldest Strong on the floor in one strike but Alyric was a young brute. Until the knight crushed him to the ground, “You’re not the best there has been, boy. Maybe the Lord Commander needs to teach you modesty,”

That was the last straw, “Ser Criston.” The children shivered at that voice- for there was nothing they feared more than the wrath of their mother, “We are finished here for the day children…” voice as soft as silk and as gentle as a feather. They ran along- Gwen ushering the younger ones out.

And she did not care if they had an audience overhead, “I do not take orders from you. You may be of royal birth, but you are still a bastard.” He must have overheard Daemon and Alicent.

“You forget yourself, Cole. Strong words for a common-born concubine.” His hand wrapped her cheek before she could think. Not phased she readied for his raised fist, aiming for her face. But he found the floor thanks to a swiftly negotiated knee to the crotch. Done so with grace and decorum. “A reminder of who my father is. Now stay on your knees… where you rightfully belong,” venom rolled off her tongue. Looking up towards the disapproving faces of the King and Lyonel Strong.

A face far too sweet for the person behind it gave a snide smirk, “You sound just like him,” he paused - studying her every move, “Your mouths move far too much, for what you both are… conniving cunts.” Contemplating whether or not to crouch down, deciding not to; being eight months along.

"You're the one on the floor after hitting a lady who is with babe..." Her shadowed green gaze bore straight into the man's soul, "What a sad little life, Cole... now they all see what a wretch you are."

Elspeth agreed with him. She did sound like Daemon, but at least with the Rogue Prince you knew what to expect.

The unexpected.

Clutching her swelled stomach, she paced to her sister's chambers. Heart pounding, her back felt constricted. Elspeth greeted the guards stationed outside of the door with politeness, stepping into the room- finding those big brown eyes. "Elspeth...?"

"Your 'sworn shield' just hit me... King Viserys and the Lord Hand saw it for themselves…" Elspeth's forehead felt clammy- cheeks reddened.

"Ser Criston... hit you?" The woman didn't know if she nodded in answer to her sister.

Alicent's arm wrapped around her older sister- feeling how hot she was. The unmistakeable coiling in her lower stomach was all too familiar, "Fuck..."

"What is it?" Something felt different, body numb. She could no longer feel or hear Alicent. To her, she was in a forest with her mother's long red hair swaying as they rode deeper into the trees. But in reality her sister screamed for the assistance of Maesters and for the presence of the strongest knight in the Seven Kingdoms.

Curls were the first thing she awoke to followed by bloodshot eyes like the ocean. "My strong knight..." Milk of the poppy, she presumed- reaching her hand to rub his cheek with her thumb. His rigidity solved itself as he welcomed that warmth- not nearly as searing as she had been beforehand. But even under the influence, Elspeth knew her husband- something was direly wrong. "What troubles you?"

Then she remembered snippets. How she rattled the King's quarters with cries to keep her baby safe... "No... we couldn't have lost the baby... Harwin..." Tears wrapped his eyes, shaking his head. The murmurs of child-like giggles in the distance.

"We have a daughter..." But a plague cast over him, until he broke. Normally she was the one cracking like a piece of glass. His name sounded so divine on her lips and her touch a warm reminder that he was alive as was she.

His body rocked the bed with sobs as her arms enveloped his bulking frame. His golden cloak beneath her fingertips, "We're both here. The Stranger will have to make a better attempt..."

"You were dead,” time stopped. She hadn’t been crying, but when Harwin; a man who possessed such redoubt, quivered in his whisper… she couldn’t help it. “The Maesters said that your insides failed you, and by some miracle,” a tear shed, “you are here… by my side. And so is our darling daughter. What shall we name her?”

Her head crashed against the pillow. The look on his face imprinted in her memory- one of joy laboured by disparity, “A miracle… Mirabel… our little Mia,” the innocent face of the girl present- Rhaenyra holding the girl in her arms.

She had been crying, “She may be the cutest button of your brood… what is her name?”

“Mirabel… our Mia…”

Criston Cole was brought to justice. The King was appalled, and the prince was blind with fury. “Ser Criston Cole… you have been a faithful knight to the Crown, but today I witnessed abhorrent actions that are forbidden as a member of the Kingsguard nor of any noble man,” Elspeth watched on alongside her husband, “Before I cast judgement, speak… what do you have to say for yourself?”

Elspeth respected the king, but he was too lenient. “The words of Lady Elspeth are as tainted as her blood, Your Grace…”

“What do you mean? Lady Elspeth is a just, fair woman,”

“She is a bastard, Your Grace, not the daughter of Otto Hightower,” Viserys’ laughed at the man knelt down.

Elspeth was frozen in the crowd of nobility- all eyes on her, “And who may her father be?” The King held genuine amusement to the accusation.

The heavy doors opened, and so entered the Prince Daemon, “She is my kin.”

Ser Criston, no matter how true his claim had been, was exiled to the Wall. While Elspeth became legitimised under the eyes of the King and of the Seven. Though, Viserys was not thrilled- he was glad peace was made with Daemon, who remained in Kings Landing.

Laena passed away giving birth to their third child, killed by dragonfyre- Vhagar. The question of Rhaenyra’s children wasn’t thrown into contention, and they were never to know that the disgraced knight Ser Criston Cole was their father. But Elspeth knew what Jace and Luke were- but she loved them like her own sons. She would protect them with her dying breath.

And she did not break that vow, even against her own sisters. Lylith had always loved animals, held such compassion that she spent her free days compiling a bestiary of the creatures of Westeros. She was unlike Gwen, who loved hunting- alike their mother. The second born daughter had never detailed Vhagar up close.

During the wake of Laena Velaryon, she sought out the she-dragon. They feared she had been eaten, but she arrived returned on green back of the biggest dragon in the Seven Kingdoms. Harwin didn’t know whether to be proud or terrified that his family owned the two largest dragons - except Vermithor - in the Seven Kingdoms.

Peace was quaint in the years following.

Lyonel Strong still remained as the King’s Hand, though, Otto Hightower still plotted his return. Quashed when Viserys died, and Rhaenyra swiftly ascended. “I wish to offer you the post as my Hand…” It was what the pair had always dreamed of.

“The Lords will not abide by that-“

“I am Queen, I am the Head of the Seven Kingdoms and they will follow my commands,” she paused at the apprehension written over Elspeth’s face.

The Princess shook her head, “Lord Lyonel has been a faithful Hand to your father- ,”

“How am I supposed to rule if I cannot fully rely on my Hand? In my absence how can I rely on the judgement of men to carry out my word?” The Queen held the Princess’ hands, “You are my closest friend- ever since you arrived in Kings Landing- before I was born. You have never shown deceit nor malice on my part- even my husband doesn’t have my complete favour… you do…”

“If I say yes will it stop your queenly speech?” Rhaenyra gave a nod. “Then yes, I will be your Hand…”

She was a bloody good one at that, Rhaenyra remained in Kings Landing as she always had.

Ric was a promising young heir to Harrenhal- knighted for his fighting in the second war for the Stepstones. He was a good sword, and betrothed to Rhaena Velaryon for his actions. They suited one another- calm and loyal.

Gwen, unruly like her mother, rode horses not dragons; fearing great heights. She found a love match in the Lord of the North, Cregan Stark. He loved her fighting spirit- unlike any Southerner he had met.

Lily rode the biggest dragon in the Known World. Her mother refused a marriage with the Lannisters- who called out for an alliance. Lily found affections with the young Lord Oscar Tully. They had proven to be a youthful yet wise Lord and Lady of Riverrun.

Jaimes found himself separated from his twin, Ronin but Jaime was living his dream under the wing of his uncle Gwayne. Travelling the Seven Kingdoms at the age of six-and-ten, yet to find himself a wife but with his father’s looks and mother’s drive- it’s more so the fact that he isn’t looking.

Ronin had claimed the Bronze Fury at two-and-ten, and has since built a loving bond with Vermithor. He found himself with a crowd of women gawking, his mother’s angelic features and his father’s demeanour. Yet he only had eyes for the brash Alysanne Blackwood, admiring the huntress and sharing liaisons while at Harrenhal. Elspeth warned him to ask for her hand before somebody else demanded it- and he feared no person as much as he feared and loved his mother.

Cullen favoured the pen rather than the sword, becoming a scholar. He toured around the libraries, transcribing every ounce of knowledge he garnered. This took him to the Free Cities- where he encountered a young maiden. Her name was Aliandra, she loved his inquisitive nature and he her fiery attitude. It was only when he ventured to her homeland that he discovered her to be Princess Aliandra Martell, and he was to be her Prince Consort. It aided in relations between the Seventh Kingdom.

Lyonei continued her education in alchemy and prophecy. Still close friends with Princess Helaena, though, at Harrenhal she found the company of Alys Rivers- rumoured to be her aunt- and judiciously followed her expertise. For that time being she had no room for love, neither did her parents force her.

Mia resided at Driftmark, Maesters said she had problems with the heart. But she enjoyed life with her head in books. Rhaenys was more than willing to house the gentle-spoken, petite girl even in her adulthood. She found the sea air aided in her ailments, finding love in a sailor.

Their parents moved to Harrenhal when Ser Lyonel died. Larys lurked in the shadows, not any danger.

The Kingdoms lived in peace. But the pair weren’t alive when the power struggles took place- resulted to ash and bone.

Dying in bed together- both of old bones. Knowing what eternal love felt like, reuniting with Alyrie Florent and those lost along the years.

History would remember the fierceness of Elspeth Hightower- true Targaryen born - married a strong. An issue of seven, rider of Ebrion the Cannibal and the best shot in the Seven Kingdoms.

THE END

___________________________

So this is the last part of the series. I have loved writing this and thank you for the support with it. Thank you to everybody reading ❤️❤️❤️

Series taglist:-

@llynx7 @babyred7 @felicisimor @beebeechaos

#house of the dragon #harwin breakbones #harwin x reader #harwin strong #hotd #house hightower #house strong #house targaryen #ser harwin strong #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd fic #hotd spoilers

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