#the self insert one.. i wasn’t sold on but. i would love nothing more than to be her tbh so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drawlfoy · 4 years ago

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Wonders of Ohio P.9

masterlist

requests are closed, but please read this first :)

if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!

pairing: draco x reader

request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)

warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)

a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)

music recs:

puppy princess -- hot freaks

loverboy -- A-wall

linger -- the cranberries

tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

word count: 3.8k :)

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence.

Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world.

Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.

Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.

As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched.

“Why do you think he went back?”

Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”

“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”

“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”

“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”

“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”

“It’s my job.”

After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.

“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”

Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.

Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic?

It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less.

As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered?

He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case.

Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address.

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with.

Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him.

That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together.

“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”

“What if he’s still deciding?”

“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot.

“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”

“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.

Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.”

Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.

“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?”

“Mom!”

“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”

“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.

“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”

“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her.

“Whatever you’d like to think.”

The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house.

On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose.

She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax.

The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month.

She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.

Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly.

Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.

Y/N froze.

Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer.

But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power.

Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic.

Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.

She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.

No way...

Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”

Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.

Her heart stopped.

“Draco? What are you--”

Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.

When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.

“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.

She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”

He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.

“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”

“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”

Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.

“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent.

Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one.

The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake.

“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.

He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”

“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.

“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”

“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”

He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”

“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”

“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”

“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”

“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”

“Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?”

“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.

Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”

“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”

“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”

He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”

“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”

“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.”

“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”

Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”

“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”

He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.

“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”

“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”

He didn’t respond.

“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”

With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”

She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.

final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;

#draco x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco x you #draco malfoy x you #draco x oc #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy #draco #dracotok #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x y/n

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weholdonforever · 3 years ago

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This is in response to the Ashley Tisdale buying lots of books thing and some of the reactions I’ve read. Trigger warnings: discussion of sexual assault, suicide, abuse. Nothing explicit, but the topics are discussed.

I read a lot of fanfiction. If I were reading books sold at stores, by word count, assuming the average book is 70k-100k I would probably be reading at least four books per week.

I get defensive about reading a lot of fanfiction, because I feel like there are still a lot of not-so-pleasant assumptions associated with it, like it’s lesser than those published by a printing house. Sometimes people ask me what I’ve been reading and I don’t know how to reply.

So I find myself often justifying to myself why fanfiction is a “legitimate” source of reading. And it comes down to this:

1. LGBTQA+ characters. Say what you will about whether the depictions are accurate or just women writing self inserts or something, the fact of the matter is that I can find a lot more quality, interesting, compelling fictional stories about LGBTQA+ characters where the main focus isn’t about homophobia, repression, politics. I am not minimizing these topics. But sometimes you just want to read something where the sexual orientation and gender identity isn’t a big deal and the people are just people.

At the same time, fanfiction is one of the only places where I can read about asexual characters, written by people who are themselves asexual, greysexual, or demisexual. It’s one of the only places where I’ve read stories with trans characters who are trans and it’s part of their identity, but not the sum total of it. I read stories about gender-fluid characters, aromantic characters, and all of the characters are treated with the respect and love they deserve. It’s a fantasy world, to be sure, but what’s wrong with that fantasy?

What’s wrong with having that escape, when in my real life, one of the pro bono cases we have is a direct result of Trump’s trans ban? Or dealing with the “Don’t Say Gay” law that passed in Florida? Or Texas requiring school admin to report children to their parents if think they might be trans?

2. Sexual assault. As someone who has been assaulted twice, I don’t appreciate the way sexual assault and sexual trauma are often used as an easy way to give a character some interesting, dramatic backstory. Fanfiction, you can find stories where the characters have been assaulted and their recovery is dealt with in a way that reflects my own experience.

3. Trigger warnings. I was reading something the other day— an excerpt from a published book. And within the first few pages, there is a depiction of a suicide. It was a goddamn so-called fluffy romance novel and I didn’t expect it. It threw me out of the book, because I wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t mentally prepared to face it, and I don’t care if you want to call me a snowflake or oversensitive. The suicide was used as a plot device to get the first wife out of the way so the husband could have a Sad Past and Grieving Heart, which would be healed by the plucky romantic heroine.

There are some days where I’m okay with reading that sort of thing. There are other days I am not. Trigger warnings give me the choice to do so. Who knows, maybe more books have trigger warnings now. I haven’t really been interested enough to find out.

4. Everything I’ve said above applies also to mental health, abuse.

5. I think fanfiction still has a pretty big problem with representing characters of color, but it’s getting better, incrementally. And man, there’s some fanfic where they really nail it, seamlessly, without whitewashing and keeping the nuance and multiple dimensions.

Those are the main reasons why I read fanfiction instead of mainstream books. I know fanfic isn’t perfect, but it has a hell of a lot more material that I want to read about, that reflects more of my life and my experiences, than what I’ve been able to find in the shelves of Barnes & Noble. Maybe I’m wrong and things books have become more diverse since then. But that’s another thing:

6. Fanfiction is free. There’s something about that fact, something about knowing that the author isn’t doing it out of wanting to reach an audience but is just putting it out there, whether as word vomit or a labor of love— that gets to me.

So there it is. All my defensiveness and insecurities about telling people I read fanfiction.

#fanfiction #fanfic #why i read

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chibinekochan · 4 years ago

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How to become a Demon Ruler 106

Part: 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05

GN. Reader insert

taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I somehow wake up just before Barbartos knocks on my door.

He is pleasantly surprised when I open the door. “Good morning, master. I hope you had a pleasant night.”

“I slept like a stone.” I'm already quite used to this place. It's surprising how naturally I seem to fit in here.

“I'm glad to see you so energetic.” Barbatos sounds relieved for some reason.

"That will probably only last until our first lesson." I chuckle nervously.

"I think you will enjoy today's lesson and first you should get ready." Barbatos reminds me that I'm still in my Pyjamas and I blush.

"Oh yeah, right. Then excuse me. You can go ahead and wait in the breakfast room. If I'm not there in an hour you can start a search party." I make a silly joke but Barbatos doesn't look amused at all.

"I'd rather not but I will follow your wishes." He looks slightly troubled.

"I'm all grown up don't worry. I actually know some self-defense too." I make a silly self-defense-like pose.

Barbatos shakes his head. "I'm glad to know that my master is a capable person but words like these trouble me greatly. Please promise me that you won't get into trouble."

"I don't think you need to worry about that at all. I mean what kind of trouble could I even get into on the way to breakfast?" I shake my head and shrug.

"You would be surprised." Barbatos knits his eyebrows. "Well, regardless I trust you, master."

I can tell that he means 'you better not throw my trust away', it's hard to argue against him.

"I promise that I will be good." I bow deeply to emphasize my point.

Barbatos smiles, I'm not sure if he is relieved or just finds it funny.

"Very well then. I will await your arrival with utmost patience." Barbatos decides to accept my words.

"I will come soon." I nod and feel very motivated to not get into trouble.

With that Barbatos leaves me to my own devices.

The bathroom is once again fully prepared. I wonder if they might have some magical gremlins or something that does the work here.

It's quite the mystery for sure.

I take my shower and choose today's outfit. Since I don't know what will be thrown at me today.

I have a much easier time today finding my way. It makes me feel pretty good.

"Good morning Diavolo." I greet him with a proud smile.

"I knew you could do it!" Diavolo is very pleased and Barbatos smiles as well.

"You are faster here than I expected. I will give you an extra waffle for this." Barbatos starts to stack up waffles on my plate.

My eyes turn into stars.

"It was a great decision to have waffles today." Diavolo looks very happy by my reaction.

Barbatos nods.

"Actually I have been wondering why you don't eat with us?" I wonder if Barbatos even eats at all.

"That would be inappropriate. I'm nothing but a simple servant." He is taken aback by my question.

"You might be right but do you even eat? You've been with me for most of the day without a single break." I genuinely wonder when Barbatos does anything, since everytime everything is already prepared.

"That is a very valid question." Diavolo sounds like he has never thought about it.

"Don't concern yourself with me. I assure you that I do in fact eat and even take a break once a while." Barbatos doesn't seem to get the point of my question.

"When was the last time you had a day off?" Now I'm even more curious.

"Hmm about 40 years ago..." Barbatos takes a moment to remember it.

I can't believe this. "What? 40 years? That's way too long. You really need a vacation."

"I keep telling him to take a day off but he always refuses." Diavolo sighs.

"I'm in no need of a vacation. I take great pleasure in my work and I'm sure the castle will be in ashes once I return." Barbatos is serious.

"You are the kind of person who needs to be ordered to relax aren't you?" I sigh, it's impossible to imagine him casually.

"I think you have the wrong picture of me. I can relax all on my own." Barbatos doesn't get it.

"Maybe you need to show a more casual side of yourself." Diavolo chimes in from the side.

"I will consider it." Barbatos doesn't sound serious.

"Maybe we should order him to eat with us at least?" I look towards Diavolo.

"Oh, what a splendid idea. I have not considered that." Diavolo is fully onboard.

"Who will serve you while you eat then?" Barbatos frowns.

"I think we can manage to stand up and get our food ourselves." It's a very easy task.

"I don't doubt that but it would be inappropriate for me to let you get your own dishes." Barbatos’ frown grows only deeper.

"How about joining us for tea at least? We have done that before." Diavolo brings up a great compromise.

"That would be acceptable." Much to my surprise, Barbatos agrees.

"I wish I had time to bake something." I have not seen today's schedule yet but I fear it will be very loaded.

"I'd love to try your baking one day." Diavolo smiles gently.

"Once the party is over you will have more time and then you can bake as much as you want. We might have a lesson until the party. It might be a good learning experience." Barbatos ponders about this for a moment.

"It would be a great experience. I mean surely my cute little sibling could teach you a human recipe?!" Diavolo looks at me.

"Sure, I can teach you." I decide to play along.

Barbatos’ eyes light up. "In that case, I will add a lesson to your training."

Who would have thought that this was so effective on Barbatos? Baffled, I look at Diavolo. He smirks at me. I give him a thankful smile.

With that our breakfast ends.

Somehow I look forward to whatever will be thrown at me. Even when I will probably regret thinking this.

"Today's first lesson will be provided by me." Diavolo surprises me with this.

"Really what will we do?" I'm pretty curious now.

Diavolo seems to enjoy my excitement. "Haha, you will have to wait and see." He joyfully laughs.

"Don't forget that you need to bring them to your office by 10 at the latest." Barbatos casually reminds Diavolo.

This doesn't bother Diavolo a lot. "I know. After my lesson, we will have you learn about politics. Honestly, it's just about filling out papers." Diavolo sighs just a little bit.

"It is very important work." Barbatos glares at Diavolo.

"Anyway, let's not waste any time." Diavolo suddenly seems to be in a rush. I suspect it's to get away from Barbatos.

"Okay, see you later Barbatos." I lightly bow to him.

Diavolo waits for me at the entrance of the room.

We walk for quite a while until Diavolo finally opens a big door.

The light blinds me for a moment. Much to my surprise, I see a vast garden. It's very well maintained.

I'm very impressed. "This garden is very beautiful." I look at it in awe.

"I'm glad you like it. I thought you would like to see something else after being stuck inside all day." Diavolo seems much more relaxed after hearing my excitement.

"That is very thoughtful of you." It's very sweet of Diavolo. I spot many plants that I have never seen before.

They all look very interesting.

Diavolo watches over me with a big smile. "Watch out, some of these bites."

"Really which of them?" I can't help but be curious.

Diavolo chuckles and points to some ominous-looking plants. "These devil traps for example."

I look at them from a safe distance. "I should note to keep away from them."

"This is actually today's lesson. Studying the plants of the devildom. I told Barbatos that this would be more effective than looking at pictures and we also agreed that you could use some fresh air. Being cooped in the castle isn't good." Diavolo is always so considerate of me.

It's very sweet."I will definitely remember this plant." I have to agree.

"There are some other nice plants here. Oh, the blood roses are my biggest pride. They are in bloom too. Let's go there next." Diavolo is especially excited about this.

"That sounds great." I honestly wonder how amazing they are. Diavolo certainly sold them to me.

On the way Diavolo points out other plants that I need to keep away from. He does a good job of making sure I remember their appearance.

Soon I see the blood roses, they are similar to human roses but way bigger and with sharp thorns. They look beautiful and dangerous.

Diavolo looks at them with such admiration that it makes me smile.

I step a bit closer but somehow I stumble over something in the ground. I almost fall face-first into the flowers. That certainly would have ended very painfully for me.

But miraculously I got caught by Diavolo.

Effortless he holds me up. He is so close right now that I feel his breath on my face.

His eyes are very pretty from this close. He stares at me for a moment and then carefully places me on the ground. My heart is pounding, I wasn't ready for this at all.

"Are you alright?" Diavolo is slightly flushed.

"Y-yeah thank you for catching me." Slightly embarrassed I fix my outfit.

"You need to be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." He sounds unusually soft.

Somehow it's very effective on me. "I will."

"Maybe, I should carry you just to make sure…" Diavolo seriously ponders over this.

"I don't think that is necessary. I will be careful." Somehow I imagine him throwing me over his shoulder to carry me. I can't risk it.

Diavolo looks a bit sad. "Alright, maybe next time then." He had that sad puppy face again.

"Maybe." It's so hard to be strict with him. I should take lessons for that from Barbatos.

This thought causes me to smile.

"Hold my hand at least." Diavolo doesn't seem to be able to let this go.

I guess I can do this much for him. "Alright."

Diavolo is very happy about this.

He holds his large hand out for me and I hold it with just enough strength to not let it go. He in turn holds mine firmly, but I assume that he holds his true strength back.

Somehow it feels very nice.

#how to become a demon ruler #demon ruler 101 #obey me fanfic #omswd #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo

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niallloverontheloose · 4 years ago

Text

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/650079336900313088/for-years-fandom-has-talked-about-wanting-stiles#notes

@russianspacegeckosexparty: For years, fandom has talked about wanting Stiles to “heal” Derek but what they mean is they want self insert stan in a Stiles Nametag/Fanon!Stiles to *enable* Derek’s toxicity, and also while claiming that Derek’s way of running a pack is the Right Way, they suspiciously have him acting exactly like Scott who’s methods they sneered at

@princeescaluswords:

I wish I had a simple answer for you. It would be easy to laughingly dismiss it as ‘just racism’ and move on. Racism is a huge part of it, but it’s not the only part; it’s a situation-well mixed with patriarchal precedence and a fundamentally self-serving and immature application of Christian doctrine (I’m speaking as a Christian myself). Our culture has created certain expectations in the way we approach the behavior of white men.

As long as they show emotional depth, attractive white men are entitled to forgiveness for their bad actions without the need to redress those actions.

The sad part is that this phenomenon exists outside of the world of fiction and fandom. How many white men have had tearful press conferences apologizing for their bad behavior and then its back to business as usual?

When the Sterek shippers create a Fanon Stiles to support/heal/enable Alpha Derek, they very often indulge in this idea. To them and their insert, who Derek hurt is immaterial. To them and their insert, what Derek did is immaterial. The only thing that matters is that a powerful and attractive white man was openly emotional, and so, to them, it’s simply unjust for the narrative or the audience to treat him as less than fully redeemed.

What did Derek do in response to his betrayal of Paige to her death? He cried about it. What did Derek do when he unwisely bit Jackson and then abandoned him to become the kanima? He looked pained and stomped around the screen yelling at people who weren’t responsible. What did Derek do when his decisions to conceal information got Erica and Boyd killed? He looked sad and stricken. The show, in a completely inadequate display of consequences, ‘redeemed’ him by having him give up the alpha power to save his sister (and fandom reeled in shock at this tiny bit of redress, so much that they kept rejecting it).

Fandom doesn’t even recognize all the things that Derek did to Scott - from concealing information, to bullying, to selfish manipulation, to betrayal, to brutal assault - as bad behavior. How many times have you read Fanon Stiles say “he may have been an asshole, but he was trying to help!” when Derek lied to Scott about the cure, betrayed him to his uncle, and have his or his minions try to beat Scott into submission?

Derek experiences strong emotions, therefore, all his actions are immediately ameliorated by his pain, but only because he’s white and good looking! His family burned! His sister was murdered! So that makes his attempt to hunt down and kill Lydia on a hunch absolutely okay.

Compare this to the absolute condemnation of Scott for saying an insensitive thing to Derek and to pretending-to-be-catatonic Peter after nearly getting caught by Kate and Chris stealing a bullet to save Derek’s life. Compare this to the raging hellfire wished upon Scott for being blackmailed by Gerard with a knife to his gut, a tail wrapped around his mother’s throat, and claws to his lover’s neck?

It doesn’t stop there. Peter Hale has legions of defenders not because he expressed remorse for his terrible onscreen actions but because he refused to express remorse for them. In fact, he defended his vicious murders and attempted murders and violations with passionate bullshit. They swoon over the fact that he murdered his own niece so much that they make up excuses for him that he refused and create fantasies of the Left Hand.

That’s why, when grappling with Season 5A, they don’t care that Stiles was a lying traitor. They only care that he felt really bad while he was being a lying traitor. (And they’ll come at me, screaming, that he was being blackmailed too, while turning around and call Scott a rapist in Master Plan. And no, Scott wasn’t a traitor in Season 2; he was deceiving villains – both Derek and Gerard. That’s the difference between Scott and Stiles. Scott finds a way to defeat the villains while Stiles… Stiles cries about it. But that’s all a white male character has to do be considered a hero.)

My problem is that fandom’s reflexive urge to forgive every single good looking white male character not only permeates the fandom but it also influenced the show. That’s why Scott had to listen to Stiles whine about the way Scott looked at him in Codominance but the fact that Stiles assaulted Scott was never mentioned again. That’s why Liam’s apology tour was so completely fixated on Liam finding a way to live with himself, that he never bother to ask if Scott was okay, or Mason didn’t scold him for leaving Scott dying on the library floor to go hug a girl that was already dead. After all, Liam was feeeeeeeeling.

Art imitates life. Fandom has lowered the bar so much for attractive white male characters that all they have to do is… I don’t think there’s anything they can’t do to be automatically healed by the fandom. Yet they cover that with making the act of forgiving white male characters an act of love.

So Stiles is a “lying traitor” because he’s a victim of assault and blackmail and because he didn’t share his own traumas with Scott like Scott and his Stans demanded… but Scott is a “hero” even though he kept lying like a rug, sold Derek Hale and his Pack out to the hunters in exchange of Allison, conspired with Gerard behind everyone’s back, and violated an incapacitated rape victim to save his own ass? Make it make sense, antis

“How many times have you read Fanon Stiles say ‘he may have been an asshole, but he was trying to help!’ when Derek lied to Scott about the cure, betrayed him to his uncle, and have his or his minions try to beat Scott into submission?”

Funnily enough, I never read a Sterek fic in which the author uses Stiles to justify Derek’s behavior. But I’ve read PLENTY of fics written by the Scott McCall defense squad members in which Stiles, Lydia, Kira, Allison, Mason, Liam, Chris, Cora etc are reduced to he author’s Fanon Self Insert and used to excuse/justify Scott’s toxic behavior.

But maybe PrinceEscalusWords is referring to when the TW writers & producers had Masson Hewitt (a gay black character) justify Scott and tell Corey Bryant (a gay character and the boy Scott assaulted and mind raped) to get over it, because:

“I know the last time you saw Scott wasn’t his best day. But he’s trying to help! More than most people would!” (5x09, Lies of Omission)

‘cause apparently nothing is more ‘romantic’ and ‘progressive’ than telling an abuse victim to get over their own trauma and abuse and then trying to paint their abuser as a kind, compassionate hero who just had a bad day in Jeff Davis’ book

“My problem is that fandom’s reflexive urge to forgive every single good looking white male character not only permeates the fandom but it also influenced the show. That’s why Scott had to listen to Stiles whine about the way Scott looked at him”

Actually, Stiles is the one who had to listen to Scott whine about the way Liam looked at him.

[Teen Wolf 5x13, Co-dominance]

STILES: So, what did he want?

SCOTT: To help.

STILES: You gonna let him?

SCOTT: Eventually, I guess…

STILES: Okay, but shouldn’t he be a little higher on your priority list right now? I mean, since he’s the only other actual werewolf, your only actual Beta.

SCOTT: You didn’t see the way that he came at me! You didn’t see the look in his eyes!

STILES: Well, I’ve been with you on a full moon, so I’ve seen that look.

STILES: You want to get the band back together, Scott, you don’t leave out the drummer.

“And no, Scott wasn’t a traitor in Season 2; he was deceiving villains – both Derek and Gerard. That’s the difference between Scott and Stiles. Scott finds a way to defeat the villains while Stiles cries about it”

Except that Scott never defeated a single villain in the actual show. He even failed to assassinate a terminally ill old man who was already dying in Master Plan. Scott is pretty good at whining and at taking credit for his friends’ heroic actions and achievements, though. And that’s all Scott has to do to be considered a “hero” or become a “true alpha”

#anti scott mccall #anti tyler posey #submission

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soldouthaz · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have any recent fic recs? 🥺 I just finished reading Baby Blue and now I don’t know what to read next. (It was amazing by the way).

hii!!! I'm so happy you liked baby blue! thank you so much for reading and for reaching out! :)))

I don’t have any specifics on what you like to read, so I'm just going to give you a bit of everything - I hope that’s alright! if you want more you always know where to find me ;)

recently read fics (July 2020) -

✰ sleeping on our problems (E, 67k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

✰ tell it like an old song (E, 26k, bL) by @outropeace

where Harry is a bit lost (just like his memories), his best friend is hiding something, the love of his life is gone and love... love is like flowers.

✰ soaked in the blood of angels (E, 40k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

✰ like the earth around the sun (E, 23k, bL) by astrangepurplefairy

the one where Harry bursts in on Louis in heat and things only get more complicated from there.

(*personal note* if anyone happens to know if this author has a Tumblr please let me know!)

✰ we both got nothing to hide (E, 43k, bL) by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

✰ move so pretty (you’re all I see) (E, 10k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Harry’s pretty content with his life. He loves his job- a veterinarian at a local clinic who’s already built up a name for himself despite his young age. He loves his gorgeous flat with its wide, open space and minimalistic, yet still homey feel. He loves his family who he talks to and visits as much as possible, not bothered by the long hours of driving to Holmes Chapel from London he endures multiple times a month. He loves his friends and his coworkers and his neighbors- especially Allison, the little old lady next door who brings him and Louis cookies on holidays and who always comments on how “strong and handsome you are, Mr. Styles,” everytime he sees her.

And most importantly, he loves Louis, just- maybe in a slightly different way.

✰ maybe, baby (M, 16k, omega!L) by @thoughtsickles

Louis runs away. Harry finds him.

✰ when tomorrow comes (E, 11k, bL) by @jacaranda-bloom

the one where Louis is an Omega who has been keeping himself pure for his Alpha, Harry is a traditional Alpha focusing on his studies while he waits to find his bondmate, and Niall is a sneaky bastard who keeps borrowing Louis’ clothes and never returning them.

✰ in a world alone (E, 50k, bL) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Harry’s breath catches as the glow grows bigger and bigger until he’s squinting his eyes and blinking at the sudden intense brightness. He closes his eyes, rubbing at them helplessly. When his eyes open again- he gasps, grip loosening on his bow as he gawks at the sight before him.

Because the swan is gone.

And in its place is the prettiest omega Harry has ever seen.

A Swan Lake AU

re-reads -

✰ like a siren in the night (E, 24k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

✰ ours are the moments I play in the dark (E, 20k, bL) by @holdingthornsandroses / edensrose

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

✰ pretty please (with sugar on top) (E, 113k, bH) by @angelichl

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

✰ dance like warriors on a battlefield (E, 20k, bL) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

Down in the arena, the triumphant gladiator places his foot on the back of the loser, holding him there as he waits for instruction on his next move. Kill or let live. It’s barbaric, really, the bloodlust involved in this sport. Louis is pretty sure that if it wasn’t for his distaste for the killing there would be a lot more blood soaking that sand.

As it is, his father rarely gives the kill order anymore. He gives the order to let the loser live. Louis rolls his eyes, turning away. He doesn’t miss the way the gladiator’s eyes linger on him.

fics on my list to read soon -

✰ until (E, 38k, bL) by @allwaswell16

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

(*personal note*- I'd put off reading this until I finished my own cowboy fic so that I wouldn’t subconsciously copy anything but I’m so so excited about this one!)

✰ smells like omega spirit (NR, 11k, omega!Louis) by @lululawrence

Louis is an omega doing a test run on neutralizers for a class project. Every time he talks to Harry he smells completely different.

Harry is an alpha who can't figure out if he's going crazy or his sense of smell is broken, but all he wants to figure out what Louis' real scent is.

Somehow they figure it out.

✰ ever since I tried your way (E, 25k, bH) by anonymous

In 1949 Harry left his bride at the altar, running away from the only life he'd known. When a kindhearted farmer offers him a ride in his truck and a place to sleep the two find themselves inexplicably drawn together. Isolated on Louis' farm with nobody but a field of dairy cows to intrude, the men are finally able to explore the parts of themselves they've spent their lives hiding away.

✰ was in no hurry, had no worries (E, 21k, bL) by @larrywmi / defencelouis

The year is 1999 and Harry can’t stop dedicating songs to Louis on the radio. Or the one where Harry hits Louis with his car.

✰ the murmur of yearning (E, 93k) by @mediawhorefics

Four years ago, Harry Styles was forced into a marriage of convenience to enrich and ally both his and his promised's families. The sudden, and slightly suspicious, death of the Marquess of Haxshire, however, brings great disturbance to Crescentfield Hall and, as his late's husband's closest male relative, Harry unexpectedly finds himself the head of a family he never felt he belonged to. Between a meddling distant cousin hellbent on inserting himself in Harry’s life, his wicked and mistrustful mother-in-law and his late husband’s advisors refusing to help or take him seriously, Harry struggles in the fight to keep what he’s earned and make the Estate finally feel like home.

Luckily, he doesn’t stand completely alone and finds himself an unlikely ally in Mr Tomlinson, the elusive Land Stewart who has been taking care of the property in the shadows for years. Louis Tomlinson is caring, patient, and unlike everyone else, he doesn’t seem to think Harry committed a murder.

as always, please let me know if I tagged anything incorrectly etc. and I hope this helps you a bit!! I hope you’re well and happy reading! :)

#fic recs

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twiceblackvelvet · 5 years ago

Note

Can I request a ceo playgirl Tzuyu x fem reader ? Where reader makes tzuyu believe in love? Thank you in advance and love your writing so much!

A/N; thank you so much. i have seen requests like this before where the writer places the character insert as an employee of the ceo character but i decided to try something a little bit different. also, i’ve got to be honest, i struggled to picture Tzuyu as a playgirl so this may not be too good but i hope you enjoy🖤

For the last two years, you’ve been single. Whilst you’d love to say it’s been a peaceful time-period for you, the two girls currently sitting in front of you have made it nigh on impossible. Nayeon and Sana have been your best friends since you were children but their unhealthy obsession with your dating life is beginning to become unbearable.

Sitting down to lunch, the conversation between the three of you quickly landed on the topic of what they consider your lonely, boring life. They’re animatedly discussing a brand new dating app that some wannabe hipster rich boy has created.

“So basically, you set up a profile and decide whether you wish to be the finder or the seeker. The finder is anyone looking to earn extra money by accompanying the seeker to events, parties, galas and all those other fancy things that rich people attend. They pay you for your service as their fake date and you can decide if you wish to stick with them or move onto the next millionaire. You both rate each other based on how compatible you felt the date went, it’s all very professional.”

Nayeon’s explanation of the application deserves to be placed into an advert, she’s seemingly looked into it very thoroughly before presenting the idea of you signing up.

The idea of dating some pretentious, stuck up person with too much wealth for their own good does not sound appealing whatsoever, and yet as you think about your dead-end job and various bills that are quickly mounting into an enormous chunk of your bank account being whisked away from you at the end of the month, you can’t help but give it a second thought.

“We both have profiles, there’s no shame in it. You don’t have to sleep with them or anything, well... unless you want to. You’re basically just arm candy for them to show off to all of their friends that they aren’t losers who isolate themselves to their offices to flirt with numbers and stocks. Trust me, it’s sad for them not you.” Sana adds.

“Fine, but if I end up with some weirdo who tries to get a little handsy, I’ll hunt you both down.”

A high-pitched squeal is all Nayeon and Sana gives you in response as they get to work in setting up a profile for you. Surely nothing will go wrong, right?

It’s been three days since the app has been taking up space on your phone. No messages. No notifications. Nothing. It’s not like you’re mindlessly checking it every couple of hours to check that your friends didn’t include something embarrassing that has been turning every potential seeker away from you, but it is starting to play on your self-conscious every now and then. Even more so when Nayeon reveals she has been on four dates since your lunch meeting.

Just as you’re about to switch off for the night and get some well-needed shut-eye, a small vibration emanates from your bedside dresser where your phone is placed.

[YOU HAVE ONE NEW MESSSAGE]

The bold lettering alongside the app’s logo lights up your bedroom. Truthfully speaking, your curiosity is in fact piqued for a split second until you realize it’s almost 3 AM and anyone using a dating app at this hour can’t be a good sign. You decide to still check who has sent you a message but only so you can tell them to get better nighttime hobbies.

However, what greets you when the app loads the singular message is tame compared to the despicable things you expected to see.

Hello. My name is Chou Tzuyu, I am the CEO of Chou Technology. You’ll have to forgive my being blunt but I am a bit of a newbie to this here app. If you are free tomorrow, I’d like to meet with you to discuss potentially accompanying me to a business event that I am attending the following night. If this is something you are interested in I will schedule a time-slot and give you instructions on what to wear and where we will be meeting. I know this is all very last minute but please let me know as soon as possible. Thank you.

God, just reading the message has given you a slight headache. This girl couldn’t be any more business before pleasure if she tried. You decide to click onto her profile picture to get a better sense of who she is to help you decide whether to agree to meet her or delete the message.

Flawless golden skin, wide cat-like brown eyes, plump red lips formed into a small smile and hazelnut brown hair accentuate all of the features perfectly. You definitely did not expect the person behind such a straight-forward and bland message to be quite as beautiful as the girl you’re currently looking at through your screen. Upon scrolling through the images, you can see her alongside a small Maltese dog, posing with several other women who you assume are her friends, in a business suit outside of her company building which reveals that she’s fairly tall and her figure is to die for. All in all, you’re sold that either this woman is a catfish with impeccable Photoshop skills or there really is a goddess-like beauty using this shady app when she could probably bag anyone possible.

Hi Tzuyu. Yes, I’d love to meet with you tomorrow, anytime is fine for me just let me know.

You hesitate for several minutes debating on whether or not to add an emoji to make things a bit more casual between the two of you. You eventually decide against it and hit send. The follow-up reply comes a lot quicker than you expected.

Great. 1 PM @ Jungsik.

A quick search reveals that Jungsik is a restaurant not far from your apartment, however, the reviews and images show that it’s rather expensive and definitely way out of your very small budget.

Would it be possible for us to meet elsewhere? It isn’t exactly in my price-range nor will I have anything remotely fancy enough to wear to a place like that.

Three small bubbles appear and disappear several times with Tzuyu’s face beside them. You begin to worry that she’s going to cancel and realize that someone like you probably isn’t a good fit for attending the event alongside her.

Send me your address. My driver will pick you up with an outfit for you to change into and dinner will be on me.

You must be dreaming. There’s no way any of this can be real. You read the words several times to try and kickstart your brain into processing them properly and despite believing they’d disappear or change into another message, it remains the same. You consider pinching yourself to double-check but decide against it. Your fingers disobey your thoughts about it being a bad idea to give Tzuyu your address as they lightly tap on the screen to tell her where you live.

You wait for a response but it never comes. You can see that Tzuyu has read the message though and decide to finally get some rest.

Sure enough, at 12:30 PM. the buzzer to your apartment goes off and a gentleman speaks through the intercom summoning you on behalf of one Miss Chou. Entering the sleek looking car with blacked-out windows, you quickly realize that this Tzuyu woman is from an entirely different world to the one you are used to. A white box is resting beside you and the driver instructs you to put it on.

You open up the box and pull out a black satin mini dress. The texture of the item alone calls you broke but you also notice that whoever purchased the item forgot to remove the price tag. Your jaw almost hits the floor upon seeing that it’s worth more than three times your monthly salary. Again, you’re left to question whether any of this can possibly be real until the car suddenly comes to a stop.

“I’ll step out now to let you change but please be quick. Miss Chou does not like to wait.” The driver says as he exits the vehicle.

You change into the dress as fast as humanly possible and exit also. You follow him through a set of doors into the stylish restaurant. This is no doubt be the cleanliest place you’ve ever eaten and worlds apart from the diner you’d regularly visit on your work breaks. Oh, how the other side lives you think.

“The table at the back, blue jacket. Enjoy.” The driver directs you towards a woman with her back facing you and hurriedly leaves.

Your steps towards the table are hesitant and you can’t help but smooth out the new dress several times in fear you aren’t wearing it correctly or rather doing such a fancy item of clothing justice. When you finally reach the table where Tzuyu is seated you decide upon clearing your throat to gain her attention instead of sitting straight down. She stands to face you and her eyes scan over your entire body on the way up.

Even in high-heels, Tzuyu is still somehow towering above you both in height and demeanor. She’s elegant and graceful in her movements and you instantly feel self-conscious under her intense gaze. The pictures of her showed you that she is beautiful and yet here before you, they do not fully do her justice as she’s that and more.

“Please, sit.” She motions you towards the chair opposite her own and waits for you to be seated until she herself does the same. “Thank you for joining me. I hope the dress is adequate enough, I had to guess your size based on your pictures. I wasn’t sure if it was something you’d like but it felt like a safe guess.”

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” She nods at your graciousness and moves to pick up one of the menus, when you go to do the same she grasps your hand and prevents you from doing so.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to order for both of us.” You drop your hand back to beside your lap and allow her to inform the waiter she’d like you to have her usual whilst she goes for filet mignon. “It’s by far the best dish, you won’t be disappointed.”

However, when a lobster dish is presented before you, you can’t help but feel out of place. Tzuyu is quick to notice your confusion and fears she has in fact let you down before she’s even been able to present her plan for you to join her next week to you.

“Is everything okay? Do you have an allergy? Is it not cooked to your standard?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just, well… I’ve never eaten lobster before. I’m unsure of where to start.” A laugh lodges itself in Tzuyu’s throat with your words. “I’m glad you find my lack of fine-dining experience funny.” You roll your eyes annoyed at her clear arrogance.

“I promise you, I am not laughing at you. I was once the same, I had no idea about any of this kind of stuff for a long time.” She offers you a genuine smile as she stands to move beside your seat to show you how to properly remove the flesh and what not to eat. “There you go, this stuff here is fine but this is the shell. Unless you wish to choke, stay clear of it.”

Before you can truly think about it, words just begin flying out of your mouth after seeing such a kind action from by far the most gorgeous woman you’ve ever laid eyes upon.

“I have to ask, how come you’re using that app? If you don’t mind me saying, you’re a beautiful and charming woman. I don’t understand how you’re possibly single.”

A more genuine and louder laugh exits Tzuyu’s mouth this time and for the first time, you can see that this is the real her and not the person she must try hard to present.

“Well, for a lot of years I struggled to see the appeal of commitment. I had plenty of companions to fill my spare time, however, none of them were ever the right for me. The position I’m hoping you will fill is somewhat different. As far as the women I have previously engaged with, I’d rather not show up to something like this with someone I have had casual sex with on my arm.”

Your face must be in a stunned state as Tzuyu continues to chuckle looking deeply into your eyes. Her honesty is weirdly refreshing and unsettling at the same time.

“I apologize if my bluntness surprises you, I just figure it’s best if we are both honest with each other here. In fact, that leads me to my next question,” She lightly brushes her mouth with a napkin before continuing. “Are you currently dating or meeting with anyone else from the application?”

Not willing to ruin the flow of honesty between the two of you, you tell Tzuyu that she is the first to reach out to you and that you wouldn’t be using the app if you were dating. She seems surprisingly happy with your answer though you’re unsure why.

“That’s… good. I’d like it very much if you would keep it that way until I am sure that I no longer need your services. I don’t believe you will run in the same circles as those attending the event but I have to be sure.” You nod along not wishing to interrupt her thoughts. “Don’t worry, the event may be formal but I promise you the people attending will all be far too busy discussing themselves to bother you much. If you feel uncomfortable, simply tell me you need some fresh air and I will make sure to get you out of there.”

So far, Tzuyu is too good to be true. You will have to thank Nayeon and Sana for convincing you to sign-up for this app.

“I will have another dress delivered to you in the morning with suitable shoes and accessories. Do you have a-” Tzuyu physically stops herself from finishing her question and curses to herself. “I will also send a stylist to take care of your hair, make-up and anything else you’re worried about.”

“Are you sure all of this is necessary? I’m no one special Miss Chou.” The use of her family name stirs up a dark expression as Tzuyu’s eyes appear to be mentally undressing you. She shakes herself out of it before you can take notice of it.

“Yes, you are. It may have been on short notice when I contacted you but quite frankly, you are a naturally beautiful person. I have seen plenty of attractive people within my life but none more so than you. Why do you think I have gone to all of this trouble thus far? I don’t just do this kind of thing for anyone. The majority of my relationships are a one-time thing that are not given the chance to progress further.”

Once again, Chou Tzuyu has managed to confuse you. Your eyebrows have never felt so scrunched together quite as tightly as they are now.

“What exactly are you saying?” is all you can whisper out in response.

“I’m saying that I’d like for you to attend this event with me. But, more importantly, I’d quite like it if you’d agree to do something like this with me more often. I will gladly pay you for your services tomorrow night in making me look good in front of a bunch of boring, old businessmen. Afterward, I’d like for you to allow me to date you. I can’t say that it will be an easy thing for either of us as I still very much so fear commitment, but I am hoping to learn, for you.”

This time, you do pinch yourself to make sure everything you’re hearing is real and the stinging in your arm confirms you’re not currently dreaming. Your brain is running at a thousand miles-per-hour and struggling to formulate clear thoughts.

“You do not need to answer now, attend the event with me. We can get to know each other whilst everyone else inflates their own ego. Then, we can see where things lead us. How does that sound?”

Truthfully, it sounds like a whirlwind, and yet you can’t help but agree.

“It sounds lovely.”

#twice #twice scenarios #twice reactions #girl group scenarios #kpop scenarios #chou tzuyu #tzuyu #twice tzuyu #fluff #kpop

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the-cookie-of-doom · 5 years ago

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“Teen Wolf is centered around Scott McBadCall because Scott McBadCall is smarter and more capable than anyone!”

[https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/190040937565/me-stans-if-stiles-is-such-a-genius-why#notes]

[https://bigskydreaming.tumblr.com/post/190041797416/me-stans-if-stiles-is-such-a-genius-why#notes]

@russianspacegeckosexparty: Me @ stans: If Stiles is such a ~genius~ why didn’t he immediately know the Alpha was Peter? If he has all the answers and ~always~ figures it out, why didn’t he go right to Peter’s hospital room and murder him in his bed on Scott’s behalf (since I know y'all love white boys bloodying their hands)?

@princeescaluswords:

Let’s get one thing out of the way. Stiles is Always Right was never about Stiles’ intelligence or deductive capability. It was about white prioritization. If Stiles was smarter and more capable than anyone (read Scott) in the story, then the story should be centered around him, right?

Because Stiles was intelligent, that is undeniable, but intelligence, in itself, is not a monolithic concept. I’ve gone into this before. Lydia’s “Stiles always figures it out” was not the same as saying Stiles always had the answers or he was never wrong. I could go through many scenes describing when Stiles didn’t have the answers and didn’t know what to do, but none of those will ever satisfy Stiles stans because the point of trumpeting his intelligence has nothing to do with what actually happened on Teen Wolf, but what didn’t happen.

Parts of fandom stress Stiles’ intelligence because they were so concerned that the show treated Scott as more important than Stiles (even though the show never really did that. Scott was the leader and the heart of the pack, but the show took great pains to keep everyone important.) To their mindset, importance is a reward to the best.

In the same way parts of fandom stress Stiles’ murderous solutions to problems because they are so concerned that the show indicated Scott’s methods were better, even though that was a theme of the show. They reject Canon Stiles, because it was obvious that if Stiles did have the will to murder Peter in his hospital bed (which he didn’t), he would have collapsed under the weight of it, which is exactly what he did when he accidentally killed Donovan. Stiles folded like a cheap suit.

Canon Stiles didn’t have the will or strength of character to be the leader, even though he was very perceptive and intelligent, and parts of the fandom still can’t handle that, because it means that their cute white fave wasn’t the best (whatever that means) character in the show.

No matter how many times I see fanfiction or posts talking about how stupid Scott McCall is or how naive he is or how much of a bad alpha and person he is, I know that I have canon on my side.

When Scott was literally stabbed in the stomach and watched his mother get strangled by a kanima, he never gave in to the blackmail and told Gerard what he wanted to know about Derek (if he had, Gerard would have known about the train station, and probably wouldn’t have had to beat Stiles up to send a message. You don’t send a message to someone who’s cooperating.) Instead, Scott turned the tables on Gerard, poisoned the bastard, and helped to save both Jackson, Derek, and Derek’s pack, even though it cost him Allison.

When Stiles was threatened with blackmail by Theo, not only did he do everything that Theo asked him, but he had NO PLAN to stop Theo or the Dread Doctors, sabotaged the investigation, and when push came to shove, sold his best friend out to death in order to protect his father.

Canon, as they say, makes me warm inside.

(I mark this anti stiles stilinski, not because I think it is against him – because Scott McCall was the hero! – but for courtesy’s sake.)

~•~

For someone who doesn’t understand headcanons or AUs in the most basic sense of the concepts, Claude @princeescaluswords Frollo comes up with a lot of them! He has his own personal delusional AU full of delusional self-insert power fantasies/headcanons that he likes to refer to as ‘canon’

COOKIE:

“Let’s get one thing out of the way. Stiles is Always Right was never about Stiles’ intelligence or deductive capability. It was about white prioritization.”-PEW

I’m honestly amazed that this dude can speak with such authority on something he clearly knows nothing about. Guess what, PEW: you, a white dude, are not an expert on racism. You never will be, It’s not something you will ever experience.

Clearly he doesn’t understand tropes, either, because the super smart sidekick has always been a very popular one. It has nothing to do with Stiles being white, and everything to do with fulfilling a role. Unfortunately, Scott IS our hero, and Stiles is his tactician/sidekick. Just like Q in James Bond, and that nerdy penguin in Madagascar, and countless others. He’s the right hand. He’s the one that sees stuff our hero doesn’t/can’t. Either because he’s removed from the situation and can therefore be objective, or because he’s the voice of reason/cynicism. “You trust everyone!” When you have a hero who “trusts everyone”, they need a support system to counter that. It’s about balance. If everyone on the hero’s team trusts everyone all the time, they’ll be pretty damn useless when fighting bad guys.

Stiles is not infallible, and no one thinks he is. He’s human, he makes mistakes. WE aren’t the ones elevating our fav to be werewolf Jesus. Stiles IS smarter than Scott; we have multiple occasions in canon that prove this. That’s not a bad thing, Scott doesn’t HAVE to be good at everything. Stiles’ whole character arc is figuring things out and being the detective, and I do NOT understand why the delusionals can’t get that.

We aren’t the ones ignoring canon, PEW, you are. And it’s exhausting.

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daggerzine · 5 years ago

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Ray Farrell on music and his time at SST, Blast First, Geffen and many more.

Ray Farrell has had a lifetime surrounded by music. First as a fan as a young kid and then eventually working for a series of record labels. He’s obviously a fan first and foremost as you can tell by reading below. It also seemed like he was there at the beginning of some major music scenes happening.

I had met Ray very briefly at one of the A.C. Elks hardcore shows that Ralph Jones put on in Atlantic City in the Summer of 1985 though Ray doesn’t remember it (honestly, a bunch of us were standing in a circle and chatting so I’m not even sure if any proper introductions were done).

Anyway, knowing some of the record labels that Ray had worked for I wanted to hear the whole story. I contacted him and shot him some questions and he was more than happy to elaborate and let us know where he’s been and where he’s going. Take it away, Ray!

Where did you grow up?

RF-Jersey City and Parsippany, New Jersey in the 60/70’s. I have two younger brothers.

What did you listen to first…classic rock or stuff earlier than that?

RF-Rock wasn’t classic yet. My earliest memories of music are my parents’ modest collection of 45’s and grandparents’ 78’s. My mom had a handful of singles on Chess and Satellite (pre-Stax) that she said fell off a truck. We rented our house from a family connected to the mob. The records probably came from them. My mom and her sisters often sang Tin Pan Alley era songs at family gatherings. Harmony was encouraged!

Some records I heard as a toddler stayed with me forever. Lonnie Donegan’s “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor?” is a skiffle classic. Chuck Berry’s “Guitar Boogie” and “Last Night” by the Mar- Keys are still favorites. I remember being spooked by the overblown production of the “Johnny Cash Sings Hank Williams” e.p. on Sun Records. In the mid 60’s, my mom had top 40 radio on in the house unless my dad was home. When I was in kindergarten, a high school neighbor in our building babysat me for a couple hours after school a few days a week. Her girlfriends came over regularly. They listened to a lot of doo-wop, which I still love today. The babysitter and her friends taught me how to slow dance, even though I wasn’t nearly a full grown boy. J

My best friend in 7th grade was a Beatles fanatic and we immersed ourselves in decoding clues to the “Paul McCartney Is Dead” gimmick. That was a brilliant scam and a fun short term hobby. It was a deep dive into The Beatles music as a junior music detective. By the time I started buying records, The Beatles were on their way out.

I happily lived for many months on only three albums-

CCR’s “Bayou Country”, Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida” and the Beatles “Sgt. Pepper.” I joined the Columbia Record Club. I got the first twelve albums for one buck. That was a popular scam. Those first twelve records shaped my taste because they were the only records I had. I didn’t know what to order but I chose very well in retrospect. After that, I bought a lot of records. I didn’t smoke, but many of my friends did. A carton of cigs cost the same as an lp- 5 bucks.

I learned in 7th grade that if I knew the songs that girls liked, we would have something to talk about. Girls loved Tommy James and The Shondells and The Rascals. I still do! I had a wider range in music taste than most of my high school friends. Everyone in my extended circle loved the Stones, Neil Young and the Allman Brothers. In a tighter circle we were into David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sparks, Todd Rundgren etc. I loved Mountain, Led Zep, Hendrix, Budgie, The Kinks, Alice Cooper, Sabbath. At first, The Stooges seemed too deep and serious for me. A little scary because I thought if teenagers felt like this all over the world, I’m doomed. I bought the album with “Loose” and played that song for weeks before listening to the rest of it. The girl next door had Iggy’ s “Raw Power” album the week it was released. When glam rock was happening in England, there was a weekly NYC radio show that played the Melody Maker Top 30 singles. I was fascinated by T.Rex, Slade, Hawkwind. I don’t recall if prog rock was a tag yet, I knew that I didn’t like songs that rambled on for more than 7 minutes. There were exceptions of course- some King Crimson, Yes, Mahavishnu. I was impressionable. Radio station WBAI hosted “Free Music Store” concerts with local acts. One show was a keyboard group called Mother Mallard that had banks of synthesizers on stage. They were similar to the music of Phillip Glass and Steve Reich, who you would only hear on that same radio station. I talked myself into buying their records, but it took years to comprehend them. I was too young to be listening to such serious stuff. I played soccer and ran track for a couple years. During meets at other schools, I made friends. At parties I heard Issac Hayes, Bohannon and James Brown records. Brown was all over top 40 radio. Rhythm guitar was my jam! Soul and funk records were best for that. I spent many nights listening to AM radio. The signal travels farther at night, so I’d listen to stations far away. It didn’t matter what kind of music it was. Some of my relatives had short wave radios. I was more interested in radio production than short wave content. The production quality has not changed much since then. It often sounds like broadcasts trapped in the ether for the last 30 years.

While I was in high school, it was common for local colleges to host rock and jazz concerts for low prices, sometimes free. The schools had to spend the money sitting in the student union coffers. There was a live music club in my town called Joint In The Woods. The venue began as a banquet hall that doubled as a meeting hall for Boy Scout Jamborees and the like. When it became the Joint, it was a disco. The first night of live music was a show with Iggy & The Stooges. The regular disco patrons were pissed! The guys were mostly goombah’s in Quiana print shirts and bell bottoms. Three or four guys smacked Iggy around after his set. Sure enough, he played Max’s Kansas City the next night as if nothing happened. Because of this club, touring bands were suddenly playing in my town. Badfinger, Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Muddy Waters. The NY Dolls were scheduled but didn’t show up. Springsteen was often an opening act. The N.J. legal drinking age had just lowered to 18. It was a great time. I was still in school, so I wasn’t staying out on weeknights.

I was determined to learn NYC music history by hitting all the Greenwich Village clubs and talking to the owners and bartenders. It didn’t matter what kind of music they specialized in- I was into the vibe. There were occasional scary nights parking near CB’s or jazz spots in that neighborhood. Folk music was on FM radio at the time. A high school friend booked a local coffee house called Tea & Cheese. Mostly locals and ambitious tri-state artists. Martin Mull, Aztec Two Step, Garland Jeffries. Some of Lou Reed’s touring band, The Tots, played there. I went to all kinds of record stores, mainly those that sold rock imports and cutouts. I was fascinated by the street level buzz of a record. In ’74, I heard dub reggae for the first time. The only stores to get that music were in Queens because there was a strong West Indian community there. It may have been the “Harder They Come” soundtrack that got me started. There was a “pay to play” radio station in Newark - WHBI. DJ’s had to buy their airtime. Arnold “Trinidad” Henry had a weekly show playing new calypso and reggae. He was more into calypso than reggae. A lot of calypso was political and comical. Arnold was fascinating! There was often a personal crisis he’d talk about on the air. My favorite incident was when he said that his life had been threatened during the program, so he locked himself in the studio.. Someone called the cops. They convinced him to unlock the door. He just wanted more airtime. Arnold played the first reggae dub track I’d heard- full dub albums were a new concept at the time. Most dub was found on the flipsides of reggae 45’s. One of the shows sponsors was Chin Randy’s Records in Queens. I trekked out there by train to buy my first dub records. That was a trip! Randy Chin’s family went on to start VP Records.

What was the first alternative/independent music you got into? How did it happen (friends? older siblings?)

RF-The term “punk” as a music style hadn’t been coined yet. I vaguely recall equating “punk” with the great “Nuggets” compilation or something Greg Shaw might have writ in Bomp Magzine. I didn’t identify labels as independent. I knew that if the label design was simple and the address was listed, it was probably a small company. There were plenty of record stores carrying obscure stuff. I bought import records from a few NYC stores. I took the bus in until I was old enough to drive. One store Pantasia, was up in The Bronx. I went there one Christmas eve day to get the import of the second Sadistic Mika Band album. The clerk talked me into buying the harder to find first album as well. He said it sounded like Shel Talmy produced it. I knew who that was and it was a revelation to talk to somebody in a record store at that level. That is what a record store should be! I read Phonograph Record magazine, Bomp and Trouser Press regularly. Patti Smith and Television self released their debut singles- those are the first “indie” records I bought, followed by the first two Pere Ubu singles. I remember hearing the Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” from the Bezerkley Chartbusters comp on WFMU and thinking that there must be more music like that. It was refreshing.

Seeing Patti Smith and Television perform at CBGB’s changed my life. I connected the dots. I had BÖC albums on which Patti had co-writes. She had a poem insert in Todd Rundgren’s “A Wizard, A True Star” album. She read a Morrison poem on a Ray Manzarek lp. She wrote for rock music mags with distinctive style. I read a brief story about her in the Voice and went to see her do her annual Rock N’ Rimbaud show. Shortly after that she and Television played CBGB’s for six weekends in early ’75. Both bands were really great. Patti didn’t have a drummer yet. Richard Hell was a big inspiration to me. He looked cool. He played bass like he just picked it up the month before. That was a new concept. Television changed bass players in the middle of the residency. Television was the first band I saw with short hair and they dressed like teenage delinquents circa 1962. The CBGB’s jukebox had a good number of 60’s garage records. In my head I conceived Television to be inspired by that music. Made sense to me- Lenny Kaye, who assembled the “Nuggets” comp, is in the PSG. When I went back to see Television headline, The Ramones opened. Seeing The Ramones again, Talking Heads opened. It seemed like the streak of seeing great new bands would not end. They were distinctly NYC sounds. They could not have merged anywhere else. I remember avoiding the band Suicide because I didn’t think the music could be good J. Bands like Tuff Darts, Mumps and The Marbles opened shows but I wasn’t thrilled by them. A CBGB’s band that doesn’t get mentioned much is Mink DeVille. They wore matching outfits like they were playing a low budget Miami dive in 1962J. The club still had the small corner stage. The p.a. was ok and the bands had small amps. The music wasn’t loud in a “rock” way. You could sit at a table right in front of the band. Although we consider the club a birthplace of punk, the club showcased local bands that had been around for a while. I think the club upgraded the p.a. once before building the big stage. I realized at that point that when a band was great or at least interesting live, the records were basic documents of the band’s sound.

What was your first job in the music scene/industry?

RF- Before realizing I wanted to be in the business, I hounded import mail order guys on the phone about non-lp b-sides and albums that weren’t released stateside. I was fascinated by the process. Why were some records not in stores even though they had local airplay? My dad did not listen to much music, but he had an army buddy that made a living in Al Hirt’s band. He came to our house once. He gave my dad a copy of John Fahey’s “After The Ball” album, which he played on. I liked his stories about the session man side of the business. Fahey treated him well. I was generally shy, but when it came to music I would approach anyone I thought I could learn from. I heard horror stories about the music biz in NYC but learned later that those were a mob related labels. At the time, I thought the entire NYC music biz might be that way. I planned to move to California anyway. In high school, I go-fer’d at local Jersey radio stations and talked my way into meeting a few top FM radio dj’s. I thought I wanted to be a professional dj, but my dad wisely talked me out of that. The itinerant radio jock life would not be for me. It was a racket.

In ’76, I took a long low budget cross country trip with my high school sweetheart. Along the way, I stayed in Memphis for three weeks with a cousin who was stationed at the Millington naval base. Got a job at a hip movie theatre that served liquor. I found Alex Chilton in the phone book and spent an afternoon talking with him. I wasn’t yet legal drinking age in Tennessee. It amused him that a fan showed up in his town who was not old enough to drink. En route to Cali, Tulsa, OK was on my route to find Shelter Records and studio , but it shut down and the label moved to L.A. At the time, Dwight Twilley’s “I’m On Fire” was a radio hit. I didn’t think there were still bands like that. Twilley was from Tulsa, but had moved to L.A. by that time.

When I arrived in L.A. I visited small label record company offices. A few offered me jobs or references. I spent two weeks crashing at the Malibu house of a distant family friend. I didn’t want to live in L.A. but I was encouraged by the opportunities. I got a job at the famous record store- Rather Ripped in Berkeley, CA.

Patti Smith told me about Rather Ripped before I left Jersey. In ’75, she and her band went to California for shows in L.A. and Berkeley. The northern Cali shows were set up by the store. She did a poetry reading there. This is well before “Horses” was released. I bought a couple records from the store’s Dedicated Fool mail order service. They had a monthly catalog on newsprint. Thousands of records in tiny font. Every record was described with a few words. This is 1976 and punk rock was just getting started. I worked as a prep cook in a charcuterie associated with Alice Waters’ famous restaurant Chez Panisse. The proprietor knew the record store owners. I wasn’t actively looking to work there, but I talked about music all day every day. They fast tracked me for an interview. Because of a scheduling mistake, Tom Petty interviewed me for the job. His first album just came out and “American Girl” was close to being a hit single. The band came to the store before a local show. Tom overheard the owner apologizing for not being able to do the interview, so he offered to conduct it. It was great. I knew all about his label, Shelter Records. I deliberately avoided talking about The Ramones and Patti Smith because punk was new and against the grain. At the end of the interview Tom told the owners that if he lived in Berkeley, he’d buy all his records from me. The store owner still had to interview me formally the next day, but I knew that I nailed it.

It was owned by two dynamic gents that were connected to Berkeley society and Bay Area journalists. They weren’t typical record store guys. They celebrated the 70’s in the moment. They held court with well known music scribes, musicians, dj’s. They were good friends of The Residents. Perhaps my strangest story is meeting The Residents with the Rather Ripped owners at a S.F. Irish bar that specialized in Irish Coffee’s. I had only recently heard of the group, so I was not cognizant of their marketing myth. At the bar, we were with our girlfriends and wives. One of the Residents tried to convince me and my gf to go back their place for a hot tub session. I laughed out loud and said “geez, what a bunch of hippies”! We didn’t go. In retrospect, I should have gone on the condition that they wore eyeball heads in the tub. At that time, The Residents rarely performed live, but they did in 1975 for the store’s birthday party. The early Bezerkley Records (Jonathan Richman, Greg Kihn) was distributed to stores through Rather Ripped. Their office was a few blocks away. At the store, each employee had unique music taste and expertise. Pop music was changing rapidly with a new energy. Some of us were tapped into it. We all had to know the key new releases in every genre because we were tastemakers. Major labels would beg us to do window displays for new releases. But if they could not find a store employee that liked that artist, it was no go. So, no Pablo Cruise window display. We weren’t against major labels, but we put a lot of energy into selling the ton of music that we loved. Our focus was on imports, indies, promos and cut outs where we could get a good price mark up. We had a rare record search service with customers all over the world. We’d find rare records through trade-ins and by combing record stores all over the state.

There were a few import distributors, but they weren’t hip to many small run U.S. independent releases. That was understandable because bands didn’t often press enough records for a distributor to get excited about. In other words, why spend half your day hunting down records that were only pressed in small quantities. Just as they start selling, you’re out of stock. There gonna sell a hell of a lot more Scorpions’ picture discs! As always, some distributors financed exclusive re-pressings of records that had momentum. The only way to get records like Roky Erikson’s “Two Headed Dog” single or The Flamin’ Groovies’ “You Tore Me Down” 45 was directly through mail order. I wrote to label addresses listed in Trouser Press and fanzines to buy direct in order to sell them in the store with no competition. Major label sales reps didn’t prioritize us because we didn’t shift bulk units of the hits. However, we were so plugged in to the lesser known artists that we were a good place for record companies to try and start a buzz. We could swell 50-100 of a record that all the other stores sold a handful of. Bands showed up at the store while touring. Springsteen bought Dylan bootlegs from us by mail order. Patti Smith’s manager Jane Friedman used the store as a home base when Patti and John Cale came through the area.

Berkeley is in the East Bay of the S.F. bay area. A few months after starting at Rather Ripped, I realized that the city had a rich music scene well before punk /new wave started. There was Fantasy Records, a well known jazz r&b label but best known for CCR; Arhoolie, Solid Smoke, Metalanguage; the contemp classical labels- Lovely Music and 1750 Arch; folk and blues labels like Takoma and Olivia. Of course, bands like Chrome and others started labels to release their own music. Ralph Records was started by The Residents, and they began signing bands. Rather Ripped was also a center for improv, electronic and meditation records.

In ’77 or ’78 I joined the nascent Maximum Rock N Roll radio team. This was well before the magazine. In the early days there were weeks when we didn’t have enough new punk records to fill the two hour weekly show. Tim Yohannon was all about energetic, real rock n roll, so he filled in the program with records by Gene Vincent, The Sonics etc. BTW, Tim applied green masking tape to the three closed sides of every record he had. He gave me a Mekons double single he decided he didn’t like. It was in a gatefold sleeve that he sealed shut with his green tape! Sometimes he re-designed the cover art…never for the better. He made his own pic sleeves for 45’s that didn’t have them. Bands would stare at their own records in bewilderment. Tim was archiving the records of the entire punk and hardcore movement worldwide.

Eventually, Tim brought in Ruth Schwartz, and Jeff Bale as co-hosts- both great people. Jello Biafra was a frequent guest. Tim assembled the “Not So Quiet On The Western Front” lp and later organized syndication for the radio show. I remember hearing the first Disorder ep and thinking -this is the future! J It was exciting. But soon, most hardcore records sounded alike to me. It was like- “Do you want more fries with your fries?” I went to plenty of live shows without knowing a lot about the bands playing them. I was happy when the fashion trended away from jackboots to sneakers…getting a boot kick to the head in a stage dive could be brutal. I didn’t see a lot of skinhead violence at shows, but I know it was changing the scene.

San Francisco and Berkeley were important music centers, activist meccas as well as creative artistic and intellectual hubs. Yohannon had history as an activist. He identified with public protests for causes & social issues. For many teenagers, punk rock was a rite of passage. I think it changed a lot of kids’ lives for the better. The overriding message was to be civically aware of what is going on around you and what affects your life.

Tell me about your time at Arhoolie Records. Where was it located?

Rather Ripped’s owners had a falling out and the remaining owner just wanted to sell records and antiques with his wife. He moved it to a nearby city. Just before the store closed, he told me of an open position at Back Room Distribution, a division of Arhoolie. It was in El Cerrito, a small town north of Berkeley. Chris Strachwitz, the owner of Arhoolie is a legendary record man. He recorded many of his early blues albums with a tape recorder in his car. He owned the legendary Down Home Music store in the same building. Separated by partition behind the store was Back Room. It was an indie label distributor for blues, folk roots music. Rounder Records was still a new label at the time. I gotta admit, when Rounder issued The Shaggs “Philosophy Of The World’ I was in seventh heaven. I worked primarily for the distributor, grooming to be a sales rep but I spent a lot of time in the store. At first, I didn’t yet relate to blues and country music. But there were a lot of touring artists in those styles making a living. It was a strong network of clubs, fans, radio shows and press that fueled it. The store had an incredible selection of obscure 50’s/60’s rockabilly and garage band comps. The Cramps were my favorite band at the time. The rockabilly comps mostly on a the Dutch White Label, were treasure troves of insane songs. My heart was in new music- whatever you wanna call it, punk, new wave, art music. That’s the business I wanted to be in. I used my time to learn more about distribution operations. The people that worked at Arhoolie and in its community were fun music heads. There were a lot of good musicians among them. It was a great time to live in Berkeley.

What was next, Rough Trade and CD Presents? Was that in San Francisco? I went to that Rough Trade store a few times and it was an amazing store.

I knew folks from Rough Trade UK because I bought imports from them to sell @ Rather Ripped. When they wanted to open in the U.S. they contacted me, but at the time the wage was low and there wasn’t enough space to work. I was interested in working in the distribution division, not the store. They speiled something about it being a socialist business. I stayed at Arhoolie for a little while longer. In the meantime, I was offered my own weekly late night radio show on Pacifica’s KPFA in Berkeley- same station as Maximum Rock N’Roll. I took over a show called “Night Sky”, an ambient music program. My interim program title was “No More Mr. Night Sky” until I settled on “Assassinatin’ Rhythm”. The station’s music director was a contemporary classical composer closely associated with avant -garde and 20th century music. A major segment of my show was for industrial, post-punk and undefinable music. I hosted a few live on- air performances with Z’ev, Slovenly and Angst among others. Negativland’s “Over The Edge” program started on KPFA around this time. KPFA was 100,000 watts of power with affiliate stations covering the Central Valley down to Fresno and Bakersfield.

When the time was right, I moved to Rough Trade’s U.S. distribution company in Berkeley. The record store was in San Francisco. We distributed a lot of British records sent by Rough Trade UK, often in small quantities. Rough Trade US was set up to press and distribute select RT and Factory records by Joy Division, ACR, The Fall, Stiff Little Fingers, Crass. It was cheaper and more effective to press in the U.S and Canada. I also distributed some U.S. labels but there was one Brit on the staff that hated most American music. On top of that, it could be a dangerous place to work. One of the staff was importing reggae records and weed from Jamaica to our warehouse. The local connection was shot on his porch shortly after he picked up a shipment! I was lucky to spend a few days travelling with Mark E.Smith of The Fall. He loved obscure rockabilly and garage band records. I was able to return to Memphis for a while to prep the first Panther Burns album for release. Tony Wilson of Factory put up most of the money to keep RTUS going. He was a brilliant character, but I learned from talking with him how not to conduct business. I often got sample records from bands that wanted distribution. Pell Mell’s “Rhyming Guitars” e.p. was the start of my long association with the band. I enjoyed selling records to stores all over the country. I learned about local scenes, records, fanzines, clubs and college radio stations everywhere. Making these sources connect for touring bands and record sales was exciting. Because Rough Trade is British, we had the benefit of connections with club dj’s. We pressed and promoted New Order’s “Blue Monday” single on a shoestring budget. For a long time, it was the best kept secret from the mainstream. I left Rough Trade for Subterranean Records ( Flipper etc) for a spell while working in a record store. The guy that put up the money for the record store ran guns to Cuba through Mexico. Thankfully, not through the actual store. I booked Cali shows for Panther Burns, The Wipers, Sonic Youth, Whitehouse.

Who owned the CD Presents label? I remember that Avengers compilation.

It was owned by a lawyer, David Ferguson. He had a recording studio as well. I didn’t understand why he wanted to run a label. He did not have an ear for music. But we did release a Tales Of Terror lp! He almost released a DOA album that I thought the band would kill him over. Many years later I got into a fist fight with one of David’s employees in a limo ride shared with Ferguson and Lydia Lunch. We fought through the window separating the driver from the passengers. I would love to recreate that for a film. Good times!

My main role there was to set up the first Billy Bragg record in the U.S. Billy’s manager was the legendary Peter Jenner and both were great to work with. They were using CD Presents as a stepping stone to a major label. In the meantime, I knew a few people at SST. Joe Carducci is an old friend. He was pitching me to move to L.A. and work there, but I resisted for a while. I had just met the woman that I knew would be the love of my life. I didn’t want to move to SoCal. Joe gave me an ultimatum. He sent three advance cassettes that convinced me to go- Meat Puppets’ “Up On The Sun”, Minutemen’s “Double Nickels” and Huskers’ “New Day Rising” That’s an excellent recruiting strategy. I later married the love of my life.

On the side I booked shows for bands I loved. Gerard Cosloy asked me to book Sonic Youth first northern Cali shows. I also booked shows for The Wipers and noise band Whitehouse

Was SST Records next? How long did you last there and what was that like?

I was there for three years. “How long did you last there?” sounds like I was biding my time :) I’m often asked about my time with SST.

Carducci hired me to do PR. That meant publicity, college radio, regional press. Video was a valuable promo tool. MTV’s “120 Minutes” program was a great way to promote our records.

In 1987 we put out more records than Warner Brothers. By that time, I hired people to help.

I’ve done a number of interviews about SST. If you have specific questions, shoot. I recall that my social life was almost entirely with my co-workers and bands on the label. I was nearly oblivious to music from other labels. I was a big fan of Dischord and Homestead. Metallica, COC, Voivod and the Birthday Party/Nick Cave were my non-SST staples.

I think around this time I had met you briefly in NJ at one of the Elks Lodge shows that my old friend Ralph Jones put on. Were you living in NJ at that point or just visiting?

You’ve mentioned that before and I don’t recall the specific show. I moved out of NJ permanently in ’76. I came back for annual summer visits to NYC, north Jersey and Philly. Some high school friends went to Upsala College, then the home of WFMU. On my first visit back in ’76 I met Irwin Chusid and R. Stevie Moore. Some high school friends were connected to Feelies before they took that name.

Was Blast First! next? I met Pat Naylor once and hung out with her at a show and she was really sweet.

Yeah around the time I left SST, the folks in Sonic Youth called saying that they had left as well. They wanted me to be involved with Blast First! in the U.S. I knew Paul Smith because he released their albums in the UK. Blast First UK released a number of Touch N Go and SST records. The label was a division of Mute which had a U.S. deal with Enigma. My job was almost entirely “Daydream Nation” promotion. It was so much fun to be able to go deep with one album. We issued Ciccone Youth shortly afterward, which augmented the overall Sonic Youth story. The only other active touring band was Band Of Susans and on a limited level, Lunachicks and Big Stick. It was only one year of work before Enigma cut Mute/Blast First loose. I went on Sonic Youth’s Soviet Union tour and I had a few memorable meetings with Sun Ra. David Bowie called a few times asking about recording studios that Dino Jr and Sonic Youth used. Bowie had a brilliant idea to record Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream” with Glenn Branca’s large guitar group. We tried following up on it but Bowie was immersed in Tin Machine and other projects.

Was it on to Geffen then?

Yes, Sonic Youth had good meetings with the label. I had recently met Mark Kates who was championing the signing. He suggested that I come in to meet the entire company. He brought my name up with David who said, “we need someone like that here”.

I had fleeting thoughts that working for a major was “selling out”...punching corporate clock. I wanted to apply what I knew on a larger scale.

What was that like, working for a proper major label? Was David Geffen still involved?

On my second day there, David called me into his office. He is down to earth, street smart. Like many of the best in the biz, he didn’t have an attitude. He had met with the Meat Puppets. He sensed that Dinosaur Jr. was important. I reminded him that I was not hired for a&r.

He said- “I don’t assign job titles. If you find something else you’d like to do here, you can pursue it ‘after 5pm’ ”. I found reissue projects like the Pere Ubu box and Raincoats catalog. I recorded a new Raincoats album. I signed Southern Culture On The Skids, Garrison Starr, Skiploader. I assembled and recorded Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenanny comp. With Sonic Youth, I pondered making records with John Fahey and Townes Van Zandt. After ten years, it was time to move on.

Tell us what you do now, didn’t you get involved with digital music at some point?

Geffen Records was folded into Interscope in 1999 and I was bored with the limitations of the business as it was. Digital music was gaining ground solely through illegal file trading on Napster. I knew there would be a major shift in the business moving to digital. I worked for the download site. eMusic.com, signing distribution agreements with labels. This was years before iTunes and YouTube. Major labels would not work with us because mp3 files are open source files that could be traded freely without control. They saw eMusic as a facilitator of illegal file trading. Like marijuana use leading to hard drugs! In the big picture, I knew that digital downloads weren’t “sexy”. But at some point, digital music would develop into something easier to track and use. We skipped the major labels. The bigger independent labels understood that digital music would be the future. It was a great place to be. I knew a lot of music, but I had no idea there were so many labels in every country. One label owner told me that I had the best job in the world. I knew that to explain this new unproven music format it could be an uphill climb. So I took the time to research label websites for song samples. That way I could find common ground with label owners. There’s surf music in Brazil? There’s a young female cellist duo in Prague that make energetic music? There’s archaic royalty rules connected to opera arrangements? Bring it on! It certainly changed how I listen to music.

It was a time when business rules and legal rights had to change in order to deal with digital income disbursement. For example, digital downloads could be sold by the song while royalty payments were based on album sales. eMusic was at the forefront of those changes. When iTunes launched, digital music was “legitimized”. Borne out of eMusic was RoyaltyShare which provides a royalty accounting platform for labels. It is now a division of The Orchard and I divide my time between The Orchard and RoyaltyShare.

Who are some current bands you are into?

A loaded question! I listen to a lot of new music. I spend a lot of time listening to records and cd’s in my collection. Of current artists, I really like Steve Gunn’s music. I listen to the projects involving members of Sonic Youth. Bill Nace, Kim’s partner in Body/Head is a guitar genius. Body/Head’s music is a cathartic experience for me. London is lucky to have Thurston Moore living and working there. I think the music they make separately is far more exciting that what Sonic Youth would’ve made if still together.

Lately I’m digging Melenas from Spain, Hayvenlar Alemi from Turkey. Quin Kirchner is a Chicago based drummer that put out a great jazz record in 2018 called “The Other Side Of Time”. I think he plays on Ryley Walker ‘s records.

Because I’ve spent so much time with the music of Sonic Youth, Branca and Rhys Chatham, I crave the occasional dive into instrumental symphonic guitar army and tonal stuff. Current favorites in that vein are Bosse De Nage, Pelican, Sunn O)))

Given the chance I’ll see any performance by Mary Halvorson, Ches Smith, Marc Ribot or Mary Lattimore.

It took me years to get it, but I’m now a big fan of Keiji Haino’ music. Dean McPhee is a British guitarist I really like. I just bought a couple of Willie Lane lp’s on Feeding Tube.

I research music history and the development of the industry. There are historical and social components of every type of music by culture, country, time period. I love stories about riots at premieres of new avant garde works. I read a book about famous classical composers in the 18th Century playing home concerts (salons) where people are talking the entire time…but they are paid handsomely for the performance. Streaming music sites and YouTube are vast repositories of music and cultural documentation.

Do you still make it out to many shows?

I go to two/three shows a month when I’m home and more when traveling especially NY/London. I start work early in the morning so I’m not out late often. I understand why people see less live music as they get older. I’m done with music festivals. The Big Ears Festival is the only Stateside event that might inspire me to stand for eight hours.

I always hear music by new artists that I really like. I don’t always go to see the live show. Sometimes I hear a new band that sounds like a band I liked 20 years ago. I wouldn’t deliberately see a band that uses another band’s sound as a template.

What are your top 10 desert island discs?

I cannot do 10. It’s 20 or nothing. If you say sorry Ray, it will be nothing. FineJ If I’m on an island, I’ll listen to the ocean waves and sounds of nature. If I’m relegated to a desert, I’ll listen to the blood coarsing through my veins.

Miles Davis- Kind Of Blue

Television- Marquee Moon

Peter Brotzmann- Machine Gun

Sex Pistols -Never Mind The Bollocks

Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

Soundtrack – The Harder They Come

Billy Harper – Black Saint

Kleenex/Liliput- First Songs

Patti Smith Group -Easter

Hound Dog Taylor & The Houserockers- Houserockin’

Led Zeppelin- Houses Of The Holy

Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation

Elvis Presley- Sun Sessions

The Cramps- Songs The Lord Taught Us

Pell Mell -Flow

Procol Harum- A Salty Dog

Sibelius- Complete Symphonies

Lou Reed -Coney Island Baby

Meat Puppets- Up On The Sun

The Kinks- Kinks Kronikles

“Hmm....Flow or Star City?”

Any final words? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask.

I’ve been involved off and on with the artist Raymond Pettibon for a music project called Supersession. He has made records under this moniker before. This project began in 1990 and stalled for many years. We revived it a couple years ago. I play bass. Raymond wrote many pages of words and lyrics that he passed to the band, encouraging us to write music behind them. It’s different from Raymond’s other records because it is not improvised. Rick Sepulveda, our guitarist is a great songwriter and he wrote music for Raymond’s words. Rick sings a bunch of the songs because Raymond loves his voice. We did a NYC performance in November that was really fun. So now of course, I’m thinking we should play monthly in L.A. We are nearly finished with the album that we recorded at Casa Hanzo, the San Pedro studio Mike Watt owns with Pete Mazich. Raymond is a brilliant man; fun and inspiring to work with. When I practice with Rick, he’ll often break into a cover song deep in the recess of memory. Like John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” ,Kevin Ayers’ “Oh Wot A Dream” or the Doors “Wishful Sinful”. We may cover a Harry Toledo song. It’s a blast. I hope to have the album finished in July.

Tav, Bobby, Pell Mell and Ray

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lunawings · 5 years ago

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Island Fiesta Event Report 9/7/2019

So I finally got to go to an Island Fiesta! The series I went for was King of Prism.

This post is going to be long (and includes a lot of sea animals) because I want to talk about the event experience in general for people who may be thinking of going in the future. If you just want to read about the dolphin show with Junta Terashima and Taku Yashiro skip to the end.

So Attraction Fiesta, or Island Fiesta depending on where it takes place (https://atfes.com/), is a new sort of event that popped up a few years ago. Basically they will sell anime merch at some tourist attraction, causing a bunch of fans to buy tickets and hang out at said attraction/area and spend money for that day. They call it Island Fiesta when it takes place on Hakke Island in Yokohama. Or at least that’s the gist of what I have gathered?? Back when they first started doing it, I think it was only just merch? I usually try and talk myself out of going long distance to events just to buy things. But they have been adding more features, like collab food and riddle solving games. And then they started doing actual events with voice actors, including a dolphin prism show.

DOLPHIN

PRISM

SHOW

So that was basically that. I decided I NEEDED to make it out to one of these at some point. I’d been waiting a year or so for one of them to fall on a good weekend and one finally did. So off I went.

I wasn’t sure how early I needed to get there in the morning for the merch line. At first I thought it may not be so bad, but then I realized.... King of Prism wasn’t the only thing that was gonna be featured. There were eleven other series to buy merch from that day... and we’d likely all be in the same line...................

I ended up getting there at 8:45 (it opened at 9:30), and got a ticket for merch that said 11:10.

I thought this wasn’t so bad for coming “late”.

But I also mistakenly thought they would be letting small waves of people in every 10 or 20 minutes like other events I had been to. But no, they actually let in big groups of like 100 people an hour (the 11:10 block had numbers 1 to 100 or so and we were supposed to line up roughly in that order), so after lining up at 11:10 I did not get out until like.... 1:45-2ish.......... and most of that was standing outside in summer because September is still summer in Japan. (At least we were in the shade though.)

The event had a loose Halloween theme and the Kinpri boys were vampires. I only got one Shin, but it was the acrylic strap which was really good. TBH though I was actually a bit more excited about the Ace stuff I got. Because I’m not that big of a fan of the artwork they did for Shin this time, and this is my first Ace merch EVER.

They actually had a trading area for merch, which is kinda rare. It’s much more common for events to forbid trading altogether. ( So usually we just have to make… sHaDy dEAliNgs… Which has never made sense to me. I’ll buy MORE if I think maybe I can trade it with people…)

But when I went over to the officially sanctioned trading area it was kinda small and looked like the same people had been camping out there all day probably. Plus nobody had signs for what they wanted out and I am pretty self conscious about initiating trades out of the blue. I checked Twitter just in case but found only people who were looking FOR Shin (pulls collar) instead of wanting to spare him and quickly gave up.

(I th.. I think there may have been a shift in popularity since SSS but maybe I’ll discuss that later…)

So the atmosphere of this event was rather strange.

The merch line/trading area was as crowded and hectic from very early morning onward as any big time anime event I have been to.

But the rest of the park....

Was pretty empty.

Well, okay, it got more full as the day went on. I took these photos around 9:30 - 10:30 am. (I happen to find empty amusement park photos more interesting than lively ones.) But still.

There was an interesting divide in the park patrons. On the one hand you had all the fangirls (+about 4 or 5 fanboys yes there were that few) wandering around with itabags, and then the regular families just enjoying an amusement park haha. Of the fangirls, there was also a divide between King of Prism and.... non. Because it was easily like 70% King of Prism. But I suppose a.) I notice Kinpri fans a lot easier (sometimes I’m not sure what someone is here for. then I notice a tacky flamingo on their bag and it’s like I GOT YOU) and b.) This day was the dolphin prism show so there was probably a significantly higher concentration of Kinpri fans this day than other days. But still. I’m not used to King of Prism being one of the big dogs.

So, I couldn’t tell you what the second most popular series was since I didn’t really recognize any of the others. Although what I can tell you is that for whatever reason the Yumeiro Cast merch actually started selling out first. (The King of Prism stuff followed after.)

They had some food collabs, but the Kinpri vampire pizza was already sold out by the time I got out of the merch line. (So I just got non-Kinpri pizza and thought about King of Prism while I ate it. My stomach didn’t know the difference.) None of the other collab food sold out I think.

Now, about the attraction itself.

The proper name for this place is Yokohama Hakkejima Sea Paradise. It’s a pretty interesting and quirky aquarium/theme park.

Coming up to this event I was a bit worried I’d have nothing to do all day since I was getting in early for merch but the dolphin show wasn’t until evening. I wasn’t planning on merch taking over two hours though, so I actually only barely had time to see most of the attractions and just breezed through the main aquarium. Still, it doesn’t take much time for me to look at a fish anyhow. (I just may have kinda wasted my all-access day pass is all.)

You can get up really close to dolphins and penguins and all sorts of animals and pet them because.... sure??

They also really like animals in tubes. Or you going through tubes to look at animals.

seal tube

(seal tube from above)

penguin tube (walk through a tube while penguins are over you)

penguin tube from above

dolphin tube (walk through a tube while dolphins swim over you)

view from manta ray escalator (you take an escalator while manta rays swim over you)

otter tube (the otters were able to cross over into the river exhibition next to them)

they didn’t really feel like ottering at the time though

It’s not a Japanese aquarium without capybaras.

(If you’ve ever been to a Japanese aquarium you’ll know that’s serious.)

They also had this section where you could like... catch fish or shellfish and then eat it right there??? Because.... Japan.

I didn’t do that part.

But anyway.

flamingos

and another fish tube

So this was a pretty neat attraction with or without the King of Prism stuff. I kind of like it when my anime drags me to do neat things I would not have done otherwise.

So after looking at fish and things, lining up for two hours for merch, and looking at fish and things some more, it was finally time for the

dOlPHin priSM SHow

Much like for merch we lined up in accordance with the numbers on our tickets. There were no assigned seats but we all had to file into the stadium roughly in order.

My number was just about in the middle, meaning all of the good center seats were taken when I got in. So I decided to opt to sit a little off to the side in order to be closer. This was a good decision because I happened to choose the side they came out (and left from) which got a good scream out of me when I realized.

Unfortunately I didn’t think to bring penlights. I didn’t see the Tweet saying they were allowed until I was already on the train the day before. But realizing I’d only need red and orange anyway, at least I was able to hit up the 100 yen store for some glowsticks.

(It just didn’t occur to me that outdoor + daytime = penlights even though King of Prism. Being daylight it was hard to tell the difference between red and orange haha but oh well. It’s true doesn’t feel like a King of Prism event without them.)

Before the show began we were all given an introduction about manners for the show voiced by Kakeru and Shin, to which we all responded eagerly out loud as King of Prism fans always do. (Kakeru: Rule number one! Audience: ONE!!!!!!, Kakeru (something like): Don’t throw penlights, etc. Audience: OKAY!!!!!!!!! etc. I love this fandom.)

So this whole dolphin prism show thing started a year ago maybe? This is the third or fourth time they have done it. It’s always Junta Terashima and *insert other SePTENTRION member(s)*

So this time it was him and Taku Yashiro, and it was Taku’s first time doing it. (So basically Vi Va Vacance! But the song they ended up playing for the dolphin show was Brilliant Oath. But they gotta promote the newest CD and all that.)

You could tell Junta and Taku only rehearsed this like right before, if.... at all....? (Probably not at all.) And there were a lot of parts nobody quite thought through. Haha it was so candid. But that’s how I like to see them.

They started off the event by doing a King of Prism quiz. The audience could help out but it was mostly the two of them answering the questions A or B.

One of the questions was if the number of likes on the mock social media merch below referred to Edel Rose’s debut or the number of “King of Prism elite”.

Realizing the number was greater than the population of the world, they guessed correctly that it was Edel Rose’s debt.

At one point they each had to fill in the line for the other’s character of what their proposal was in SSS episode 12. And then they each read their’s in character.

Taku couldn’t read one of the kanji characters in Kakeru’s ahahahh..... (neither could I). He also almost misspelled “showtime” when signing an autograph.

Speaking of which, after the quiz they both autographed the big uchiwa fans with A and B written on them that they had used to answer. But clearly nobody had though this through either, because the floor was wet so they couldn’t put anything down. So they had to like awkwardly put their scripts between their legs and fumble with their microphones while they tried to sign them. Junta kept apologizing about their awkward fumbling AS IF it was even possible for them to be wasting our time. They probably gave us like an extra 3 minutes with them so I thought it was beautiful hahaha.....

(Photo from Junta Terashima’s official Twitter.)

Junta “won” the quiz, and his prize was two dolphins.

“Oh a pink one!!” (said kind of excitedly) “And a… normal one…” (said with the tone of “it’s what I… always wanted??”)

I guess he unloaded the “normal one” on Taku after the show.

(And then they kissed.)

Then after the quiz the actual dolphin show started. But this was also something nobody thought through. (I think they were at the back stage for previous events, but this time they were at the front?) Because both of them had to RUN when they realized they were about to get completely soaked with the first big dolphin jump. (They were both kinda like OH SHII-- and barely got out of the way in time.)

The dolphin show was set to Brilliant Oath like I mentioned before. It wasn’t really all that choreographed to match the music, but I imagine with dolphins that couldn’t be an easy thing to do anyhow. There were two moments that definitely seemed like they were probably intentional though: The big jump at the end, and when one dolphin brought a hula hoop ring to the stage right at “suki da yoooooo”. The rest of the show was probably no different than their usual dolphin show. But let me tell you, they sure did a whole lot of crazy flips and jumps. The combination of prism show x dolphins all of a sudden made a lot of sense.

After the show Junta and Taku went to the back stage where the trainers were (”THE DOLPHINS ARE SO CLOSE” - Junta) and were given the opportunity to give them a hand signal to jump.

They discussed what to say while giving the hand signal, and Taku jokingly suggested “We found natural gas!”

In the end of course it was “Ready sparking!” and the audience participated as well.

After the dolphins and trainers left, Junta and Taku came to the front again to wrap up the show. Junta let us know it was almost over, to which the audience of course let out a “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” and he was like “I love hearing that thank you.”

He also joked that the show we saw was so good we may have released the seal on Shine. AND then when they were laughing about together he voiced Shin being like “No! Stop!” or something like that. It was so random and came so quickly from nowhere I couldn’t help but laugh. This may sound out of character for me, but when Junta Terashima is voicing Shin in pain but he has this huge smile on his face it just cracks me up. If you don’t understand, maybe you haven’t seen his smile. It’s amazing.

I also had no idea it was cool for him to just mention Shine like that. But then again, if they have Shine curry at AmoCafe then I guess it’s not officially classified as a a spoiler anymore.

The show ended up being about an hour. Which was way longer than I thought it would be and incredibly worth the trip.

I might have briefly caught Junta Terashima’s eye when they were leaving and/or entering the stadium. It’s fairly reasonable to think that I may have since they were right in front of me and a.) I’m a white girl in a sea of Japanese people and b.) I had a Shin doll in my boobs. (Okay tucked in my sweatshirt, not that risque, but still.)

I know the chances of him both seeing me AND remembering me are pretty slim, but I really hope he did. Because the last time I saw him in person was at one of the greeting shows for SSS Part 1. Between then and now, a lot has happened. Part 4 came out, and I read an interview where he said he felt bad for Shin fans multiple times over what happened.

I just want him to know that I’m still here and I’m still supporting Shin.

What a day.

PS. do seals always swim upside down or is this one just bored

#king of prism #kinpri #attraction fiesta #attraction festa #king of prism sss #king of prism shiny seven stars #junta terashima #taku yashiro #yashiro taku #terashima junta

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shellheadtm-a · 5 years ago

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@involuntaryspy | you know what i want i want gushing over tony/bucky

okay, god, fine. real talk, y’all, this is a ship i didn’t really think about, until i read the 2018 winter soldier run. and then i couldn’t take the goggles off and now we’re here, i guess. after having my eyes opened, there’s a lot of stuff - a lot of it - that points to it being a Thing That Could Happen or at least has enough canon basis (in 616 - do not get me started on how fucking badly the mcu bungled tony and bucky and what they are to each other in prime continuity because i’m still mad and i’ll stay mad and there’s literally nothing at all you can do about it) to point to it being a valid possible path to follow.

okay.

like all true possible love stories, this one starts off with one trying to kill the other. in this case, it was just post-steve’s assassination. bucky catches the funeral on the news. and makes up his mind the one thing he can do for steve is kill tony stark. and he tries to. this very human, very squishy lump of dumb boy with a metal arm took one look at the guy in the high tech, cutting edge suit he could control with his brain, and said, “i can take him.” and that ended with bucky sitting in tony’s office, reading the letter steve left tony, and tony offering bucky the shield, being ready to go to get rid of bucky’s triggers, and agreeing to let bucky do things his own way.

he even helped design the suit bucky wore.

but it doesn’t end there. bucky was cap for a while, you know, it wasn’t just a hot minute. they were on a team together. they fought together. they went to a possible future together, and during that time, in a lot of ways, bucky was one of the few who talked to tony. and i don’t mean in an official avengers capacity, he’s one of the few that - because let’s not forget, bucky is very good at what he does - is observant to notice things. tony’s little distress tells, to ask if tony’s alright. to show some actual concern and mean it. during bucky’s trial, tony was just as much a part of his defense process as steve was - he’d gotten rid of the files shield had on bucky (and wiping his brain guaranteed they were gone for good). he offered support. he’s the one who modified bucky’s arm so he could keep it, because i can guarantee you he knew how important that would be to bucky. he’s mentioned as a possible visitor in the gulag bucky’s thrown in. when tony wiped his brain, left it up to his friends to decide if they were going to bring him back - if they wanted to bring him back, after everything he’d done - bucky’s quick to say yes, like there just isn’t another possibility. we don’t see a lot of them interacting before that, not really, though there are lots of mentions, but if you flash forward to ws2018, we see a tony and a bucky who are casual, comfortable friends. who apparently are close enough that bucky feels comfortable with tony knowing where he lives. who are close enough that bucky will call him in the middle of the night for an evac and tony will drop everything to give it to him. who are close enough that even when bucky (gently, i’ll add) turns down tony’s unspoken offer of a new/backup arm, tony puts one together anyway - he’s probably had plans for upgrades for bucky for ages to be honest, giving things like that to people is how tony shows he cares - and leaves it with him.

and the fireworks date. listen, there’s a lot to be said about that one little snippet of dialogue, okay. a lot. sharon knows what bucky’s doing it’s written all over her and she is 1000% done with bucky barnes. tony’s in a zone, you could ask him anything while he’s working like thta because his mouth functions on autopilot and he won’t remember hardly any of the conversation once he comes back to earth. more importantly: it’s confirmed by the writer himself that yeah, they went. they sure did. that was definitely a thing that happened, but i don’t think tony realized it for what it was, for one. which means that overall, bucky got the real tony, not the one trying to impress. real tony is...if you know him, you hold him close. generous to a fault, a little dorky, wears his heart on his sleeve, gets excited about the stupidest things, is fairly unself conscious about all of it, is just...one of those people that lights up a room, really. and more importantly things aren’t awkward between them after that. i’m pretty sure they actually had a pretty great night.

so you know. they’ve come a long way from bucky shoving a gun in tony’s face and tony holding bucky’s head between his palm repulsors, is what i’m saying. but is it enough? is it enough to establish a ship?

bucky and tony have a lot of similarities, first and foremost. they’ve both been steve’s foil, they know what that’s like. they’ve both been the guy who will do the dirty work, get their hands bloody, be the bad cop, so that steve can stay untouched by the worst of things. they’re two people who have actively worked to keep steve on his pedestal as a beacon of good. and they now how it weighs on you, and how heavy steve’s disappointment - when they don’t do things the steve rogers way - can feel. theirs is a small brotherhood, that really...in a way doesn’t include anyone else in the intimate way they know what it feels like. they know what it’s like to orbit steve and think you’re broken. to look at steve and look at yourself and find yourself lacking. to be overwhelmed by steve. but if this was it, i’d let it go, not really healthy ship material, you know.

in a lot of ways they mirror each other. they both have a serious side, they’re both very good at what they do. their spheres of interest overlap a lot, professionally, just in different capacities. they both have great senses of humor, make the same kinds of jokes - some of which have a self-depreciating edge. they’re both genuinely, in many ways, soft people, despite what they’ve been through. cautious, but soft. hell they even have the same taste in women (looks pointedly at nat). they’ve also both clawed their way back up from the very bottom and made a comeback where they’re better than ever, if you really wanna look at it that way. tony fell into a bottle. tony sold his soul. and now he’s managed to be better. do better. bucky ended up in a goddamn gulag. bucky’s trying to do better for himself, he’s getting his shit straightened out. he’s got a home. a cat. he’s making active, healthy steps to deal with shit. and he’s making progress and isn’t ashamed of that. that’s important, i think, to this whole ship, is that bucky is an example of admitting when you need help and seeking that help in a healthy way. it’s good, i think, for tony to see that. it might take a while for tony to get there himself, but he can see it. he can see what it does for bucky. and he can start the wheels turning in the back of his own mind for himself.

bucky’s been a support for tony, he knows tony, he’s seen tony at his lowest of lows, and still trusts him to know where he lives. to work on his arm and know he’s not up to any funny business. he understands doing what you have to do, even if it’s not the good thing to do, but for the right reasons. and despite all this heavy shit, things between them are light. like i still haven’t read invaders (shame on me) but the few pages i have (because i was there for tony) even bucky diverting tony from steve doesn’t have...any heat in it? he still makes it a joke and i think...overall. bucky understands that the best way to get tony out of one of those hit first ask questions and feel remorse later moods is to give him another target, something else to focus on. like...it’s all so subtle, really, but in their overall interactions you can see just how well bucky understands tony. that you don’t have to be a guy with three ph.ds to figure out how tony’s brain works on an emotional level.

there’s also no competitiveness between them. tony’s supporting role in ws2018 is a nice change of pace, and while he grumbles and grouses that’s just tony being tony, because he doesn’t mean any of it. it’s tony being playful, in a way. he doesn’t mind taking the back seat role and dropping things to help when bucky really needs it, and i bet bucky can count on him every time, all the time, to do it. bucky’s in tony’s circle of people he’d do anything in the world for, and it’s a thing you gotta do somewhat responsibly, because i mean literally anything.

also important, bucky’s a tinkerer, he does his own arm maintenance mostly, and he’s curious. he asks questions. he knows how to engage tony on a level they both get. hi i just love bucky barnes a whole fucking lot.

but what i’m saying is, especially with regards to this particular ship (i can’t wait for tony to figure out he’s being surprise dragged to the altar it’s gonna be great) is that...they’re different people. absolutely. but they know each other. they have this...unspoken understanding of each other. and tony’s habit of nesting, and bucky being a soft touch just...pushed it right along as naturally as could be. there was already a foundation of trust you only get when you know the worst about someone but still see them as being someone you can believe in anyway, and they have that by the bucket. and like...all it took was a little push and here they are. they’re gross and disgusting and sappy but tony’s happy and that’s what matters to me. bucky’s his safe haven, and he’s ready and willing to drop everything and be bucky’s, when it’s needed. they just kind of...fell into step next to each other and that was that, they haven’t dropped out of formation from that. we get weekend domestic tony stark now who thinks about the middle of indiana as being home and has a killer commute that i can promise you he makes at even the slightest hint he can and.

i love them.

insert tony ship get thoughts | accepting

#involuntaryspy #array //: ( ooc asks )#bind //: ( involuntaryspy :: who loves me and whom i love )#// i clearly #// have a lot of feelings #// but it's true #// i love them #// bucky's good for tony #// he's an amazingly positive influence #// he's also making a normal person out of tony and i love it #// billionaire superhero on the streets #// needs cuddles from his bucky at all times between the sheets #// they're a mess #// they're a menace #// and i just love them a whole lot

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rookisaknight · 6 years ago

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MBTI and the Seeds

Religious bullshit, meet personality bullshit. I took to 16personalities for a direction on this and was actually pretty convinced by the majority of the results (which is whack because 16personalities almost always gets at least one letter off), but I have an unfathomably large amount of information about this test stored in my grey matter so I’ll be hopping off a bit to fill in my own blanks. Also notable is the severe trauma each of the Seeds have been through

This is going under a cut because it's a long post and honestly might be more worthwhile as a reference for myself and how I write the Seeds, but I can’t be the only personality nerd in this fanbase.

Jacob Seed: ISTJ. The Logistician

I wasn’t sold on this one initially given that Jacob seems far more comfortable with out of control situations than most Js generally are, but I find the overall profile fits him better than ISTP. My explanation is that his time in the juvie, the military, and the foster system has forced a maturation of this particular function due to constantly feeling out of control, which makes him more open to adaptation than he would have been otherwise.

Strengths:

Honest and Direct: Notably Jacob is arguably the least manipulative Seed. He “tricks” you in a sense with the conditioning but that is more a strategic concealment than any deception. Unlike the other three, Jacob does not pretend that his actions come from any sense of love or divine calling. He is always straightforward with the deputy, even if that doesn’t restrain his cruelty.

Strong-willed and Dutiful: Basically see all of the Book of Joseph, as well as his “you think I care if I die” comments. I lump very responsible under this.

Calm and Practical: I don’t think I have to explain this part. Jacob never reacts from an explicitly emotional place. The “did you think you were free” is the closest to losing his temper I think we see from him. He has expectations, and failure to meet them will be punished. He doesn’t see a need to get emotional about it, preferring to detach himself

Create and Enforce Order: Well, culling the herd is an unconventional tactic, but...

Weaknesses:

Stubborn: As Joseph said, Jacob has been getting into it since he was a kid. Even with the brother, he’s willing to die for, he explicitly argues with him. And even in the face of his own death, he refuses to rescind his own philosophy, or even demonstrate any regret for the path he’s chosen.

Insensitive and Judgemental: Jacob’s a shithead no I will not elaborate

Always By the Book: an illegal paramilitary cult, yes, but one that holds to Jacob’s exacting standards.

Often Unreasonably Blames Themselves: Loath as I am to woobify Jacob at all, there’s a pathos to him. As Joseph says, he thinks of himself as a “weapon without a purpose. A soldier without a legacy”. As a child, he protected his siblings and as an adult, he views himself as little more than a meatshield. There’s a sense that he objectifies himself, reduces himself down to simply the function of violence and protection, and those high standards mean that he views death as simply another failure.

can bastard be a personality type

Joseph Seed: ISFP- The Observer

The test originally gave me INFP, but I find that unconvincing for two reasons. One, INFP’s are predominantly defined by an open-minded approach to life and to ideas, which doesn’t fit well with a guy so convinced he got religion right that he was willing to kidnap and murder people. Two, while Joseph is definitely contemplative and deals with the symbolic, his “visions” are not flights of fancy but are in some sense practical. He doesn’t really appear to engage in thought experiments, merely interpret sensory (or in this case extrasensory) information that he is presented with.

Strengths:

Charming: The man runs a successful church for a reason, and it can’t just be good cheekbones and dogwhistling

Sensitive to Others: Joseph has a keen insight into other people’s emotional state, which is what makes him so effective at manipulating them. He tends to meet people where they’re at with a certain deftness that would be impressive if he didn’t use it the way he did

Passionate: about the LORD. No, but I’ll give this to the man, he’s certainly got a vision, and sticks to it with intensity.

Curious: I think anyone working in the business of people has to have an inherently curious mind, and while Joseph may believe he has all the answers, his fascination with the Deputy to me indicates that he has an inherent draw to things that disrupt his world. I also think about how he would get in trouble as a child for seeking out forbidden material, such as Spiderman comics. those Satanic webs...

Weaknesses:

Fiercely Independent: He’s developed a supportive community now but Joseph has always marched to the beat of his own awful, awful drum, which has gotten him kicked out of at least one job and lost him at least one set of foster parents. He doesn’t seem to need people as much as he acquires them

Unpredictable: Sometimes with blood, sometimes with forgiveness, it's hard to say how Joseph will respond to disruption on any given day. Where the spirit leads, I suppose.

Easily Stressed: This one I’ll actually argue that his turbulent history and the demands of his job have at least taught him to cover this up, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t cracks in the armor. “yOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!!!!!”

Overly Competitive: He’s a sore loser with a tendency to punish people for failing him (see: Faith and the statue)

Fluctuating Self-Esteem: He’s dealing with a joint worldview where he is at once God’s chosen and a “no one from nowhere with nothing”. How much of that is genuine we may never know, but I don’t think the fluctuation is outside the realm of possibility

John Seed: ESFJ-The Consul

I was a little on the fence about N vs S but ultimately found that John’s a bit more concrete than conceptual.

Strengths:

Strong Practical Skills: I mean, the man orchestrated a hostile takeover of an entire county, he knows how to get things done when he wants

Strong Sense of Duty, Very Loyal: This part is likely underdeveloped given how tempestuous forming relationships was for most of his life, but given how bound he feels to Joseph its clearly in him.

Good at Connecting With Others: He’s a shitstain, but according to Joseph he had business connections everywhere and was basically a walking secret storage bin. John can probably be very charming if you don’t know how he spends his weekends in the bunker.

Sensitive and Warm: again, underdeveloped given his background, but there’s clearly a lot of emotions broiling just below the surface given how volatile he can be and how easily Joseph can access them. Joseph also describes him as a very sensitive kid, for what that’s worth

Weaknesses

Worried About Their Social Status: The boy is a climber

Inflexible: He holds pretty firmly to his headcanons on Hope County (for fuck’s sake John Nick’s sin isn’t Greed, its Sloth) and has a very definite view on how things should be. Not to mention he seems very particular, just based on the state of his home and his clothes. He has rituals and habits, and will not deviate.

Vulnerable to Criticism: If you say anything about his future receding hairline he will cry. He just will. Not to mention I’m citing that look he gives you when you’re apparently costing him paradise by not converting

Often Too Needy: He will either get attention or he will die trying.

Too Selfless: Honestly, selfless isn’t the right word here, but I’ll copy the way 16 personalities describes it because I think it fits really well for John. “ Consuls sometimes try to establish their value with doting attention, something that can quickly overwhelm those who don’t need it, making it ultimately unwelcome. Furthermore, Consuls often neglect their own needs in the process.” John is a deeply selfish person but he does act like someone who tries to get affection by giving everything of himself, often to the point that he makes the other person uncomfortable.

I literally love this dramatic edit it's so good

Faith Seed/Rachel Jessop: ENFP-The Campaigner

I have nothing to add, it just fits. At the most, I think Faith is a little more pragmatic than she lets on (given that whole “if violence is the only language you choose to speak”) but to me, that can easily be an extension of the ENFP’s ability to connect emotionally. It means they know how to cut people off

Strength

Curious: I mean you don’t end up in a cult willingly without a little curiosity. Faith also seems mildly intrigued by the Deputy’s resistance, and while this eventually culminates in frustration with our intractability, I believe there’s a genuine investment in the journey to conversion

Observant: Faith is cued into her public perception, both from the resistance and the cult, and consciously constructs it. She also shares Joseph’s ability to tune into emotions and exploit them.

Energetic and Enthusiastic: How much of her ray of sunshine persona is constructed for the benefit of converting people will probably never be answered, but I don’t believe it can be constructed whole cloth. I think Rachel always was a person with a lot of heart and enthusiasm for her passions, even if it's not as constant as Faith Seed wants you to believe

Excellent Communicators: There’s a reason she’s regarded as the Siren. She can talk people into things even they don’t want to do. Certainly left me shook

Know How To Relax: *insert weed joke here*

Very Popular and Friendly: Again, her Siren persona may not be 100% genuine, but you can’t fake that level of charisma

Weaknesses:

Poor Practical Skills: Listen, Rachel is smart as hell (definitely smart enough to develop a drug and orchestrate mass production thereof), but her planning skills? Not great. Up until Burke gets taken out of the Bliss her plan seemed to be “talk with the Deputy over and over until they change their mind”. She kicks it up a notch after she finally gets annoyed with us but it seems a bit more “making it up as she goes”, and she falls back on strategies that have worked for her before but aren’t really effective for the Deputy. In fairness, I don’t think any of the Seeds are strong in the planning department

Overthink Things, Get Stressed Easily: Unlike with John and Jacob, Faith doesn’t really let us in to see her darker side. She prefers to speak of her flaws in the past tense. Yet clearly anxiety has been an issue in her life, given how deeply her isolation sat with her and her sense of worthlessness. Using drugs as an escape from stress also makes sense for her character, at least from my perspective

Highly Emotional: Faith communicates in emotional terms, manipulates people through emotions, and unlike someone like Jacob Faith loses her temper. She shouts at us, demonstrates her frustration very openly, even screams at us that we couldn’t possibly understand her.

Independent to a Fault: Her personal history gives her some interesting codependent issues with Joseph but based on what we hear of her from Tracey Rachel resented anyone trying to control her, even if they had her best interests at heart, and was perfectly willing to burn bridges over people questioning her choices.

If people are interested I can develop these out more. I may eventually do these for the police force members too but frankly, we’re given less to deal with for them, in particular with Joey and Staci, so who knows.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #joseph seed #jacob seed #john seed #faith seed #rachel jessop #mbti #headcanons

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the-sweetest-dragon · 5 years ago

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Character Sheet

Once again, this is a reworked character because she wasn’t fleshed out as much when I first created her. A huge thank you to @incorrectbatfamiliaquotes for helping me again. You’ve been a huge help :)

_______________________________________________________

Full Name: Mirabella Ann Baker

Nickname: Bell

Ethnicity: American, originally from South Carolina

Birthday: April 16, 1995

Age: 25

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Basic Personality: Bell is the embodiment of southern charm. She is warm and loving, like an angel sent from above. Mirabella is a bit of a partier and likes to drink, which has settled a bit since she’s moved into Kaia’s apartment. She is very open about her sexuality and enjoys the opposite sex a lot, though she has had some not so nice encounters while drunk.

Deeper Personality:

Far too kind: will not turn anyone in need away, whether they truly need it or not.

Really, really, enjoys the opposite sex: we love a girl who’s open about her sexuality but sometimes makes impulsive decisions when trying to secure a new man

-Once cosigned on a house with a guy only for him to turn around and break up with her HOURS after signing the deed.

-Bought another one an entire bar because he said he liked their beer the best.

Mirabella will occasionally black out and make terrible decisions. She’s gotten a hold on it in recent months, but it still scares her every time she can’t remember the previous night.

Best Friends: Kaia Dragoumis and Stephanie Brown

Kaia was someone that was forced upon Mirabella when they were fairly young. Their families were old friends from their college days. When Kaia went mute, Mirabella made sure to learn ASL to be able to communicate with her, surprising Kaia greatly. They have a great relationship.

Stephanie, Tim Drake’s wife, was introduced to Mirabella a few months before their wedding and they immediately hit it off. They enjoy getting together for a movie night and relaxing. Stephanie admires Mirabella’s grit and warm personality, while Bell admires the strength of Stephanie’s moral compass. Tim is jealous of all the time Bell spends with Steph and constantly complains to Kaia about it.

Family: Joanne Baker, Mirabella’s mother, is a self-made billionaire with a hit fashion company. Mirabella has no siblings and no real father figure besides her mother’s constant conquests. Her mother has groomed her to take over the company one day, but Mirabella hates her mother because of the way she runs her company. The company makes their clothing unethically, by using child slavery in foreign countries to make cheap clothing then turning around and making a huge profit off of bad clothing. Mirabella is trying to take the company from her mother but was cut off at nineteen when she spoke up about how harshly Joanne treats her workers.

Job: Mirabella is a creative girl who never went to college. She makes money selling handmade jewelry and clothing online.

Love Life: Mirabella prefers quick but serious relationships. She falls in and out of love easily; very hard to keep pinned down but would love to one day settle down and raise a family. Bell identifies as heterosexual.

Hobbies: Bell’s hobbies include sewing, making jewelry, creating new fabrics to use for clothing and designing clothes.

Favorite Food: Our lovely southern lady is a huge fan of oysters. Insert gross face here.

Favorite Color: Sunlight yellow

Political Viewpoint: Bell doesn’t really have an opinion, tries to keep herself out those types of discussions because they make her uncomfortable.

Basic Description: Mirabella is pretty in a traditional sense. She has an adorable button nose and pretty green eyes. Bell keeps her strawberry blonde hair in a fat braid down her back while she’s working but when she leaves the house she’ll wear it loose. She is a tiny woman, barely five foot two, and is stick skinny. Mirabella has a really high metabolism that makes it extremely difficult to gain weight and would love nothing more than to be able to plump up (she’s very jealous of Stephanie’s boobs). Some part of her clothing is always covered in strings from cloth or paint, so she rarely cares about what she’s wearing. Bell isn’t one for makeup but when she gets dressed up, she goes all out. She speaks with a slight Southern drawl that reminds many of Kristin Chenoweth.

Dress Sense: Mirabella likes to keep things simple, but usually wears long dresses with a sweater or a loose top and pants. She loves heels so she feels taller.

Favorite Song: Why Did It Have to Be Me by ABBA

Favorite Outfit: A pair of loose fitting, linen pants and a flowery yellow shirt that she made herself. Always paired with her favorite pair of wedges.

Short Term Goals: Help Kaia become a lawyer and take her mother’s company from her.

Long Term Goals: Become a successful business woman by reforming her mother’s company. Bell would also love to settle down and raise a big family with someone she loves.

Favorite Musical: Mamma Mia because she loves ABBA and the story is so compelling and beautiful.

Last Relationship: Mirabella’s last relationship was a mess. He was very good looking, but also a heap of trouble. He stole some of her valuables and sold them to pay off his gambling debts. That was two years ago and she hasn’t had a real relationship since.

Fears: Bell is scared of dying alone. Her previous lifestyle got her into some trouble before, and dying was a possibility. She regrets being so unprepared for adult life and her previous choices, so she strives to make every day as good as she possibly can. Mirabella has a fear of heights and becoming her mother, which kind of goes along with the fear of dying alone.

Favorite Snack: She loves peach ring gummies.

Fatal Flaw: Mirabella is a yes person. She physically can’t say no, and it’s something she has to continuously work on.

Habits: She gnaws on her lip when she’s thinking. Kaia has to carry multiple chapsticks in her bag for Bell’s poor chapped lips.

Life Motto: When someone says you can’t do something, do it twice and take pictures.

Favorite Movie: The Notebook

Prized Possession: Her first completed article of clothing, which is a mini skirt that no longer fits. She made the fabric herself and designed it; she wore it until the seams busted.

Religion: Bell is Baptist and goes to church every Sunday.

Role Model: Audrey Hepburn is her role model for many reasons. She’s classy and well educated, as well as an incredible actress.

Favorite Book: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

#mirabella baker #original character #shes a tiny baby #and i love her #old character new story

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dangermousie · 6 years ago

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An epic book rant - aka what happens when you decide to make a rapist slave trader your sympathetic protagonist

You may or may not know my love for the British author MM Kaye, who wrote two of my favorite novels, both set in 19th century India - The Far Pavilions and Shadow of the Moon.

Both of those are sprawling epic masterpieces (IMO) that convey both a sense of the place and give us truly amazing protagonists supported by a fascinating cast of secondaries. The modern reader might not always agree with her take on the British Empire (though her characters are all fully-fleshed people regardless of race, her novels largely center on the British, for obvious reasons), but taking into account that the writer was born in 1908, there is nothing that particularly stands out.

MM Kaye was not a prolific writer. In addition to a handful of mysteries and children’s books (which are not my genres and which therefore I just don’t read), she wrote only three novels. The two I mentioned above and her first, Trade Wind. I was always very sorry about that. Until I finally read Trade Wind, which I was saving as a sort of last chance to read a new M. M. Kaye novel.

Oooops.

Trade Wind, unlike TFP and SotM is not set in 19th century India but in 19th century Zanzibar. That’s fine and in fact Kaye’s skill of transporting the reader into another world complete with such immersion you feel you are there, is already present in this novel.

However, this is also the most rage-inducing book it has been my displeasure to read in years. Somehow, I don’t mind awful characters we are supposed to like or paper thin character/relationship development in a slim, self-published volume. But in a doorstopper written by one of my favorite authors? Oh my.

The problem? Twofold and tied together - the male protagonist and the so-called romance.

If you’ve read TFP and SotM, you will find that the male protagonists of those novels are of the same mold - British officers who are driven, full of integrity and following their own path no matter the hardship, and full of honor in every sense of the word. They are the embodiment of a Victorian ideal of manhood, in many ways, minus their stubborn refusal to view non-whites as inferior. Ash and Alex are both pretty damn awesome. On a romance front, they are totally a dreamy thing too - they love well and strongly, they treat the object of their affection well and will risk their own goals and well-being to make sure they are OK. Ash literally gives up his whole world and heritage to be with Juli. Alex tries to prevent Winter’s disaster of a marriage even if it will wreck his career and later saves her during the Mutiny at a huge cost and risk. They are not saints, but they are clearly and indubitably good men.

TW also has a character like that - Dan is a British navy captain who is charged with preventing slave traders (that ply the waters around Zanzibar due to some legal loopholes) and who carries out his grim duty no matter what. He loves the American consul’s daughter but will not sacrifice his beliefs even for her. His gritted teeth perseverance and honor are swoon-worthy.

The problem? Dan (and his Cressy) are secondary characters, and our hero is Rory Frost. Rory is male and British. There his resemblance to other Kaye protagonists ends. Rory is a bastard. No, I don’t mean his parents were not married, they were. I mean he is an utter and complete dumpster fire of a human being who Kaye somehow wants us to love. It’s as if she read Gone with the Wind and decided to write her own Rhett, rape of love interest included, but since this wasn’t her forte, she managed to include only the horrifying parts.

Rory captains his own ship. Rory trades in slaves (and other things, but SLAVES!!!!) Rory feels zero guilt, shame or really anything other than “I love money” about it. Does he have a growth arc where he realizes that’s bad? Nope. Rory gives up slave trading by the end because he doesn’t need the money, his OTP doesn’t like it, and he has to move elsewhere where it’s not profitable.

Mmmm, who doesn’t swoon over Simon Legree?

Kaye makes sure to inform us that Rory transports his slaves humanely (!!!!!!) because he thinks it’s bad business to lose profit through death. He also rats out bad slavers to the authorities (because he thinks pointless cruelty is bad but one for profit is good apparently; plus it keeps the radar off him. Apparently Kaye thinks that if Rory sold X slaves but X+Y slaves got freed because of his tips, it somehow balances things out.)

Ummmmm.

So, a slaver in the 1850s, so it’s not even some “well, it’s ancient Rome, it’s the way of life” excuse.

But let’s continue because I assure you that is not all that is wrong with the sociopath that is Rory.

Rory has a “native” mistress and child, who conveniently die clearing the way for the white heroine. Kaye does a really bad job conveying he feels anything for them! She clearly wants us to think he’s an OK dad because he turns himself in to authorities so that his child can leave the cholera-stricken island even though he knows he will hang. OK. But when said child dies anyway, Kaye forgets to insert one measly scene showing Rory is sad or anything. It’s out of sight out of mind.

Oh and the mistress? Gets raped by our heroine’s fiance.

Let’s back up - the heroine, Hero Hollis, is pretty awesome. Gorgeous, rich and a confirmed crusader for social causes of the day, she gets engaged to her rapist cousin (who is actually viewed pretty leniently - in a “well, he thought she was a whore and he paid her so whatever” attitude about the rape.)

When Rory’s mistress kills herself, Rory decides to get revenge. How? By kidnapping Hero and raping her.

You read that right. Not by catching and killing the rapist. But by raping the rapist’s woman, which pretty much says all you need to know about Rory’s attitude to women.

And it is rape - none of that forced seduction trope here. Hero is bruised and hating all men and destroyed in the morning.

But it’s OK! The next day, he gets her drunk and is at it again but it’s forced seduction this time! (Though in an inexplicable writing choice, we don’t find out that Hero enjoyed it the second time around until near the end of the novel, which makes my hate for Rory brighter and her actions after she is rescued inexplicable. In addition to being awful from the moral standpoint, it’s just bad writing. By the time we learn she liked the rough handling, it’s much too late to change the reader’s opinion on the dude, even if one is OK with forced seduction.)

This is the OTP, ladies and gentlemen.

If you think Rory at any point feels bad, because any non psycho person will feel bad for hurting the woman he supposedly loves? Hahahahahaha nope. Even after he realizes he loves Hero, nope no regrets.

Realistic for a slave trader. Great to read about as a positive character? No.

Frankly, for me and my taste in old school romance, an OTP can possibly survive even something like this (though not the slave trader thing) if it’s all forced seduction so the woman at least enjoys it, The Sheik style, AND if the dude changes and repents AND if there is sufficient development in the relationship where I can buy it as a dysfunctional but passionate relationship.

But yeah, in addition to lack of any remorse, the relationship is barely developed before or after. Before this, she spends a week on his ship where they dislike each other (and not in a “I want to rip clothes off you” way) and barely interact. After that, I think they meet maybe twice or thrice and I was getting no romantic vibe there. Afterwards, they meet once when she shanghais him into opening his house to a bunch of orphans for a month (which was delightful I admit) but we barely have any of their interactions on the written page. If it wasn’t for the revenge rape or slave trading, I would still never go for that romance because it’s so underwritten, it’s barely there. But throw that in! The hero and the heroine somehow realize they love each other 95% in and I am left going “huh? how? since when?” I admit I laughed when Rory “realized” that the reason he kidnapped and assaulted Hero was not for revenge but because he wanted to have her first. Ummmmm...that is unsupported by anything in the previous text, is a horrifying attitude I have no words for, and further dehumanizes/diminishes his dead mistress.

I am left to wonder if Kaye was possessed when she wrote this novel, or whether she was possessed when she wrote the other two. They are like night and day!

I think she was going for charming rogue with Rory but overshot it by about 10,000 miles.

So basically, it’s an awful book, and I truly don’t feel bad now she didn’t write more than the three historicals she did.

#books #book review #book rant #awful heroes #bad romance novels #author: m m kaye #trade wind

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bolachasgratis · 6 years ago

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Review: Vodafone Paredes de Coura ‘18

What can we put into a list of “things that do not happen often” when talking about a music festival? What about this: there’s this festival - our favorite festival, for reasons that extend beyond the lineup - that, faced with another cancelled Björk gig, decided to go for the jugular and announce, in her place, giant “stadium indie” act Arcade Fire, thirteen years after playing there in the 2005 edition while touring Funeral. Nothing could take the spotlight away from them, right? But imagine there was this kid from the Lisbon suburbs that self-produced his albums at home and played his first gig only six months before this festival. Could he relegate one of the most sought after bands of our world - whose show was quite spectacular, at times - to the footnotes of our festival review?

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Playing for a completely packed Vodafone.fm stage on the first night of the festival, after a lukewarm, absolutely forgettable headlining The Blaze show in the main stage, Conan Osiris and dancer João Reis Moreira revealed themselves to really be a force of nature - although a divisive one, exactly as we expected to. Even those who watched from a distance as the bizarre show went on will remember, in ten years, that they witnessed the pinnacle (we think!) of the invulgar rise to fame of two complete outsiders that already inserted themselves - and rightfully so - into the mythology of the festival. Just check out Canal 180′s video of the happening. Earlier that afternoon, Conan Osiris had a huge opportunity to promote himself in a secret show organized by Vodafone, but decided to prop up his protegè Sreya instead to a room full of press and festival goers. That’s what a proper idol does, guys.

Marlon Williams. Picture: Hugo Lima / Festival Paredes de Coura.

But they were not the only highlight of the first night of Vodafone Paredes de Coura 2018. Earlier on, Marlon Williams was raising hell as he and his band threw hit after hit from the much lauded Make Way for Love - oftentimes with a ballad, with a more rock-ish number shaking up things every now and then - and we can tell this is the start of yet another loving relationship between a songwriter and the Portuguese public, following the footsteps of Kevin Morby who seems to play the country every single summer. He left the FC Porto shirt at home (maybe he thought fans of the local club would kick the shit out of him if he did), but a few of his fans didn’t. I might have been one of them, but don’t let SC Courense fans know about this.

Pussy Riot. Picture: Hugo Lima / Festival Paredes de Coura.

But the highlight of the third night of the festival had to be the mythical ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, playing one of the essential indie rock albums of the 21st century in its entirety, Source Tags & Codes in the Vodafone.fm stage plus two straight to the point tracks off their back catalogue: Worlds Apart’s magnificent “Will You Smile Again?” and set closer “A Perfect Teenhood” off Madonna, igniting a riff-hungry packed tent. Earlier on, Lucy Dacus presented her sophomore album for the first time in the country with a more than competent early afternoon show, certainly collecting a few hundred new fans along the way - expect her to keep visiting us in the next few years. Imarhan were already killing it in the smaller stage as Dacus finished her set. I was lucky to see them alongside Blonde Redhead and Snail Mail at Paradiso Amsterdam a few days after Paredes de Coura, and what a show it was. Later on, Slowdive sounded, once again, crystal clear, but the magic of their first reunion tour seems to be wearing off; fortunately, the songs off their latest, self-titled album, are a breath of fresh air in an otherwise unremarkable show for such a late hour time slot. Fortunately, Skepta has turned up the volume (except during that 15 minute set interruption as overly enthusiastic people were allegedly throwing shit on stage) to set us up for the bizarre world of the umpteenth - and probably the most entertaining - coming of Russian activist collective Pussy Riot. Thank God they and their band seem to have sold their guitars and bought turntables, as their punk rock past was mostly a schadenfreude generator: this Slav-heavy hard bass suits them way better, and the projections were hilarious at times. Yes, this is what punk can be in 2018 and there’s nothing wrong with it: Internet memes can sometimes be more effective than meaningless shouted angry words.

Shame. Picture: Hugo Lima / Festival Paredes de Coura.

Back to Thursday. Shame were our top pick for the day, and although we would prefer them in the cozyness of a small stage, the main stage wasn’t certainly an obstacle to a young band that’s on their way of establishing themselves, alongside IDLES, as one of the British powerhouses of angry, anthemic, anti-establishment rock music. And, well, who doesn’t love a band that takes themselves so seriously to the point of taking the stage to the sound of the great Vengaboys? On the other hand, Japanese Breakfast was a bit too lukewarm for our taste. Another case of a good songwriter that cannot make it in the 20:30 time slot on the second stage at Paredes de Coura, our music festival equivalent of a decent football team having to play Stoke City away on a rainy Tuesday night (Frankie Cosmos would suffer the same fate the following day, as Waxahatchee, Algiers or Cigarettes After Sex did a few years back). At night, Surma tried to battle this history presenting her beautiful, intricate recent album Antwerpen, and we cannot say she failed, although her delicate music certainly fits a seated, proper theater instead. On the main stage, Fleet Foxes were competent, without shining too bright. But we can blame both the difficulty of capturing the complexities of the Seattle folk band and delivering a consistently good quality sound to a natural amphitheatre, and the usual troublemakers that think buying a festival ticket entitles them to having loud conversations ten rows from the stage. Jungle seem to be only a little more than a one hit wonder, but then we remember that one hit is the massive “Busy Earnin’” and everything’s alright with the world once again.

Dead Combo. Picture: Hugo Lima / Festival Paredes de Coura.

The most emotional moment of the festival had to be Dead Combo’s incredible show in the last night. A much deserved prime time show for the best band coming out of Portugal in the 21st century in a delicate time for one half of the founding duo, as Pedro Gonçalves appears to be struggling with disease; we really hope this is not the last we see of him. Mark Lanegan, who’s featured in their latest record Odeon Hotel, has joined the six-piece outfit for part of the gig, his contributions being way more interesting than anything he has done on his countless Portuguese shows over the past few years. A huge version of “Lisboa Mulata”, towards the end of the set, was the highlight of this show. It’s not like we merely want more of them in the future, we need Dead Combo alive and kicking. Just a couple of hours earlier, Big Thief have confirmed their status as the best indie band of the past couple of years. Yes, this is a big statement, but anyone who’s familiar with their work knows it’s the truth, even without main guitar player Buck Meek, who’s focusing on touring his solo debut album. Listening to their masterpiece “Masterpiece” should be enough, but as Adrianne Lenker et al. launch into tearjerker “Paul”, we know we’re witnessing something special. She’s surprised she’s playing for so many people; we’re certain they’ll be playing for a crowd like this daily on their next summer festival tour. Later on, Arcade Fire brought the big guns in the beginning of an euphoric show (“Everything Now”, “Neighbourhood #3″, “Rebellion (Lies)”, and “No Cars Go”) before dwelling into less interesting territory, interrupted here and there with well received incursions into less played material (pre-Funeral deep cut “Cars and Telephones” and Neon Bible’s “Intervention”). But we had to wait much later for a spectacular, ecstatic “Reflektor”, before going into an encore closed with the very first song they played, in that same stage, 13 years before: sing-along favorite “Wake Up”. Between hardcore fans and people they lost along the way through their journey from an unknown (but hot prospect) Canadian indie band into a huge outfit capable of filling up arenas and headlining massive festivals like Rock in Rio, few could say they were not entertained. But could they do it against an unknown 20-something kid from the suburbs in a cold, early evening 20:30 slot in Paredes de Coura?

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fortheloveofcringe · 5 years ago

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Dear Taylor Swift,

I wasn’t one of the fans who started during your first album, but I’m a Swiftie 4 lyf. You taught me lots of things and if you have time, kindly read this. I’m Hambert, I live in the Philippines and because of you, I honed my very own way of painting pictures through words because of your dedication to create an experience through literature and music. Back then, I was just a gay kid who loved K-pop music and wanted to just be in my own comfortable space, but I had so much to say, and was afraid of being ridiculed for it. I listened to your songs from your self-titled album and Fearless but I wasn’t a big fan, yet. But I appreciated the fact that no matter what you crafted, you always made sure that you focused on little things that made us excited and happy to be alive, plus the vivid scenes that you painted in my mind as a listener, it made me feel that no matter how limited my experience was in my subjective reality as a poor single mom’s child, you made me understand that words written from the heart will have more power than the words written in fear and hate.

I started becoming in love with your sweet careful storytelling during the Speak Now Era. I remember the cold day when someone shared online the prologue from the insert and that day changed the way I think about messages and the process of communication.

I started becoming serious with writing after reading these words from you, “There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.”

However, I am not proud to admit this but due to poverty, the only way for me to listen to your music back then was to download every track on YouTube that was uploaded on a random channel, obtained through a video downloader, played through a knock-off $3 iPod sold on the streets of our city and somehow, it was a sick pleasure.

That time was the first time you came to our country too, and I remember being spiteful of my truth, for being poor, that I was not able to attend such things and support you the way I wanted to support you in terms of artistic value. I felt ill knowing that this was how I was consuming your hardwork. So at an early age, I made sure I was able to find little jobs here and there to ensure stability, not just to support your craft but this circumstance also catapulted my belief in smart work and ensuring that my dreams wont be stuck in my head.

I was able to earn and make a living because of the drive I had, wherein that drive, that fire was sparked by your multi-colored lyric matchsticks, that lead to a rainbow blaze of desire to love my life despite being depressed at the same time for several circumstances, I can’t believe that was possible, to be able to still stand with bleeding feet.

When Red came out, I was already able to purchase your music and help my family, and you will never know how proud I was to be able to hold your Cd’s. It just felt so liberating to hold cold cash in my hands, too, for the first time in my life I felt so powerful. But it compromised my studies, I never liked being in school anyway, and I never was happy because the weird thing about life is that nothing will save you from yourself no matter how strong you think you are, and all I had was music to make me feel less alone and weak. Music stayed when people left me. When my father had 7 gunshots on his neck, my older brother, dark and frozen in his bed after cardiac arrest and my dear grandma who died in front of me because of complications caused by age.

The pain was so quick, but forgetting was so long. I have many red memories from different timelines, it made me guarded and when you released RED, I could have not been more thankful to you for being the boat that carried me through the oceans of pain and led me to a shore of peace, and acceptance.

I resigned from jobs that time, however. I’m not going to lie to you and say everything was fine by listening to you, but you helped to ease the pain I was going through. This was, as I call it my “Red light” moment, like in the traffic lights, I had to be still and re-assess.

Then Typhoon Yolanda (or Haiyan) was the worst thing that happened next in my reality. It took away a lot love and life from people around me, I remember my walk around the city after the deluge and I saw zombie-like people with no direction, I was heartbroken to see that, and it took your music away from me. I remember a rotten ache inside of me, a scream of useless anger when your cover inserts were covered in mud and the CD’s were flaking iridescent cracks. It’s crazy that no matter how much you value and protect things, there will always be occurrences when they will be taken away, just like that. My family was lucky that none of us got hurt, though, the scenes in my head from that storm, made me bitter. To see how these can just happen. My heart was turning to stone at every turn. I worked in different islands to recover. I had jobs where I was helping people out but nothing inside was healing.

You released 1989 and somehow, it started a culture of meditation in me. I made a deal with myself that if I recover what I lost, I would treat it with, let say, a sacred treatment. My way of listening to your music has changed. I never had actual fellow Swifties around me, so when you release an album and it gets delivered to me, I have a party for one. This party doesn’t start until I clean the WHOLE HOUSE, I read the lyrics and the notes you share, and then I take a long bath to make sure I’m ready to consume the gourmet of sonic cohesiveness. What I’m saying is that these practices, induced by your art, has made me reconnect with my peaceful, artistic self, the one who I almost lost because of everything that has happened and also because of the changes. To tell you frankly I just love a clean house, now! kinda helps you with thinking when the insides are a mess.

When I saved enough and when my aunts and mother were able to support me, I went back to school. When you started the Reputation Era, I was already in my 2nd year in college and I became an Editor-In-Chief in the student publication office. I worked hard day and night, I won a gold medal at the Tertiary Schools Press Conference for it and I was so proud of myself. I became somebody for a hot minute, but you were right, people do throw rocks at things that shine and it made my life hard. I had the power to publish anything over anyone at school, even the corruption and the malpractices and it became a threat to the people above me. People started fighting me, accusing me of things, putting me in situations that I felt so trapped I couldn’t do anything but just stay at home. What I built from hard work, crumbled down because of crab-mentality. They dismantled my reputation. I had no explanation to anyone. I felt weak even If I knew I can fight, I know it’ll just make things worse. I had a full scholarship at that time, friends and student staff who adored me, but for my sake, I dropped everything.

I stopped studying. You release Reputation. You made an album of what exactly what I was facing. The lonely anger and the brimming flame of revenge raged, but that album came as an expression of healing for me. I didn’t feel so alone with what I was going through because of that. Reputation was the rain I needed to soften up and turn flames to smoke and disappear in the dew of a new day.

I met a lover too, for the first time in my life, and after six months he broke my heart. I made hundreds of poems out of it, because you taught me that no matter what you go through, prose, poetry and music will always be my friend. I am no longer a captive of my own darkness, now I just see iridescent skies. NOW, I just know, that the love and the kindness I give to myself will help me live longer. I don’t know what experiences will occur for me during the Lover Era but I can guarantee you I am brimming with hope and happiness now that it has begun, and oh, I’m back in college ma’am!

I met a Lover from myself and thank you for sharing such a wonderful, dawn of an album to us. Thank you for Lover.

I am not hoping for this to reach your attention, but I have faith with the way our universe works, especially when it comes to love. Thank you Taylor.

A Lover,

-Hambert

#Lover #Taylor Nation #taylurking #taylor swift #taylorswift #taylornoticeme

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