#the same goes for cis ppl

[kjzx]

Binary stealth trans people wanting to be gendered correctly with the help of cultural gender role shortcuts 🤝 NB people wishing people would ask about their identities instead of assuming 🤝 GNC cis people wanting to be gendered correctly in spite of their gender non-conformity

Despite the opposite desires sharing the life of getting by in a hostile world not built for them

Listen, the life experiences are not the same but I think there is or should be a way for these groups to coexist even if you're actively opposed to the idea of being treated the same way another person would dream of being treated

[butcharyastark]

friendly reminder that all of the "x-ppl can reblog but don't say shit" "x ppl stay in your lane" " non-x ppl stop disrespecting--" "don't derail this post it's about [xyz issue]" "you need to listen to y people--" phrases r about oppression dynamics. its for when u need to call out casual or overt bigotry. it is not about intercommunity same-level-oppression interactions.

this is about pride discourse. stop getting into intercommunity discourse that isnt about transphobia from cis lgbp+ ppl or about intersections of other oppressions in the lgbt+ community (like race or class) and saying shit like this. if you add "[xyz lgbt+ group] need to listen to the voices of [other lgbt+ group they are not oppressing at all]!!" shit to your psa posts it makes me ignore your whole post bc u clearly do not understand oppression dynamics if you think that, like, bi women and lesbians are oppressing each other, or bi ppl and pan ppl, or some shit.

if you have intercommunity discourse, just say what u fucking mean instead of implying you think another same-level lgbt+ group has privilege over you

[talkingontheinternet]

notes

sorry since realizing my gender i have zero tolerance for the whole “man hating” angle of being queer i hate i hate it i hate you. stop. you are hurting people.

[viciouslyrobotic]

Saw a post regarding passing and I am so...idk mad?? That people in the trans community keep gendering shoulders when we know thats bs. Fucking quit it's weird and it will always be weird to buy into a beauty standard that is by design unrealistic.

[thriftdyke]

I feel like a lot of times ppl talk about gaining their parents’ acceptance of their lgbt identities by being like “but I’ll still have a normal life! I’ll still fall in love and get married, and yes you can still have grandchildren!” at least I’ve seen that a lot in like. Media. But I feel like we need to normalize being queer in a way that is Not equivalent to a “normal life, just with genders switched”. I would argue that queerness as a way of life is an inherent rejection of the norm. Same goes with “love is love” and “it doesn’t matter who you love or fuck” kind of statements, like sure that’s Nice, but for me queerness is not about Who I love or fuck. It’s about who I am and my outlook on life. It’s a way of revolutionizing how I define my relationships and what “family” means. I am probably never going to “settle down” or get married, I may never even have a traditional committed romantic partner or anything like an “average” sex life, I sure as hell do not want to live in a single family home with a sole partner and kids and be isolated from all sense of friends and community, and even if I woke up straight tomorrow, I am never ever touching a razor or wearing makeup to work again. You don’t necessarily have to be “queer” to have this perspective, and I’m definitely not saying that all queer people do or should live this way, but I would argue that it is a perspective that emerges from queerness and is deeply intertwined with queer history and culture. If I wasn’t a lesbian I would be a completely different person, and that’s not just because I would be loving or fucking men. It’s because I wouldn’t have had to completely deconstruct my relationship to womanhood and femininity and romance and monogomy and all of these things that are deeply ingrained in the structure of society. and I Want straight and cis people to have access to the freedom that comes from that deconstructing, but I think we do ourselves and them a great disservice by trying to make queerness palatable or “the same as” straight/cis-normative life

[what-even-is-thiss]

A lot of people genuinely think that being transgender is a sexual fetish and that’s why they think it’s inappropriate for us to be around children or for children to learn about us or for children to transition. It’s similar to why they don’t want gay people around their children.

Basic logic doesn’t matter to them. If this was just a sex thing I wouldn’t commit to it this hard. My day to day existence as myself isn’t any more inherently sexual than the day to day life of a cishet man. Same goes for trans women, non binary people, and gnc cis ppl that choose to physically transition.

We all know this. A lot of bigots will also claim to know this. But this was the official explanation of and the public’s general understanding of trans people for decades. That we have a sexual fetish we’re going way too far with. There’s still older trans people who self-identify that way because leaning into these misconceptions was the only way they were able to get healthcare back in the day. These ideas are deeply engrained into society and don’t vanish overnight.

This is what a lot of people think about when they see us. Sex. It’s all about the sex part to them. Our day to day existence is inherently involving other people in our fetish to them. And yeah. Transitioning can lead to better satisfaction with your sex life. But that’s mostly because it leads to better satisfaction with every part of your life. But again. Basic logic doesn’t matter to bigots. But learning this explained a lot to me about why they react to us the way they do. It is a dislike of things they don’t understand, yes, but it’s also decades of everyone assuming that we’re just publicizing a fetish we have and making it everyone else’s business.

[heartf0ul]

I’m bored so um

Shaw pack + Sam listeners sexuality head-cannons ig🤷

THESE R ALL MY OPIONS ABOUT THEMM

David - bisexual cis man

He likes more androgynous lookin peeps and goes by he/him

Asher - pansexual trans Demiboy!

Started socially transitioning around 8 got his first binder around 13 and got top surgery around 17 :3 goes by he/they

Milo - bisexual king and gender-fluid

Likes more masc looking people and goes by almost all pronouns (no neo tho they just aren’t his thing :) )

Sam - bisexual and starting to question his gender

Likes both fem and masc goes mostly by he/him and sometimes they/them

NOW LISTENERS YAYYY

Angel - non binary and achillian! (Is that right? Idk they like masc ppl tho)

Romantically and sexually Into men and aesthetically into masc ppl, they go exclusively by they/them

Babe - omnisexual and gender-fluid

They like more masc presenting ppl and go by any pronouns

Sweetheart - another bisexual king 🙏 and is trans masc

They like both masc and fem and go by he/him/it’s started socially transitioning around 19 and got their first binder around 21

Darlin - DARLIN MY LOVE a gay trans man!

He exclusively likes (mostly) masc men and goes by he/him already looked pretty masc before he started socially transitioning which was around 11, refused to let anyone call him a girl, got his first binder when Asher gave him one of his old ones, got top surgery around the same time as Asher

THATS IT YAYYYY I’ve been wanting to do one of these for a while lol

I’ll have to get into more of the other playlists and make more heheh

I did a lot for darlin omfg I just have the most head cannons and shit for them 😭😭 they my favorite :3

[aropride]

i really truly do not know what my "gender presentation" is. maybe its an autism thing bc i remember a cis* friend talking abt the same feeling but i dont understand a lot of things that are considered "masculine" or "feminine" clothes/style/traits/etc. like. im wearing a purple hoodie rn. is that "fem presenting"? im wearing black sweatpants, is that "masc presenting"? like i wouldnt call my outfit rn "androgynous" either cuz its just. clothes. im not "presenting" anything im just trying to be warm. tbh i feel like- ok let me set the scene actually. this is taking place in an annoying tiktok street interview video where an annoying guy with a microphone goes up to people and shows them pictures of ppl and goes "r these people masc presenting or fem presenting". and i feel like these hypothetical strangers would would probably say im fem presenting bc i dont pass as a cis guy. but like if my exact outfit and hairstyle were on a cis guy i think theyd say its masc presenting. anyway when i wear a cool and fun emo outfit thats also confusing to me bc i feel like that veers more towards like, intentional androgyny, bc i think a lot of emo outfits r intentionally playing with gender a little bit. but also again bc i dont pass as a cis man i think it gets read as feminine. which i dont think is Fair. bc it makes it hard to figure out what label actually Applies to me. im cold presenting. im autistic presenting. im emo presenting. gender is a prison. why do i have to present anything i sent my accommodations documentation at the beginning of the semester stating that i require an alternative assignment

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[were--ralph]

btw, the gender feelings might be an autism thing. i think lots of us are somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum. but for what its worth, as a trans guy that doesnt want bottom surgery its nice seeing a cis-adjacent guy openly talk about wanting a vagina. i feel like a lot of the discussions around sex, porn, and all that are very dick-centered and like i love dick but cunts are pretty awesome too! i think a lot of cis people would get bottom surgery if this kinda stuff was more normalized, i dont think wanting different genitals makes somebody trans the same way trans ppl wanting to keep their genitals are still trans.

i dunno if its a tism thing. i have a cis-male friend who wants a vagina and i genuinely think it's just a normal thing. like some people like vanilla so much they want to smell like it all the time (me) and some guys like pussy so much they want one. one of my only cishet male friends said if he were given the chance to choose he'd get a vagina instead of a penis and not because he feels feminine he just likes pussy and rubbing cooch sounds fun and hot

i have one friend who actually did get bottom surgery and im so fucking envious of him for it but he still goes by he/they and likes being called daddy

[genderkoolaid]

I'm an AFAB transfem and I feel so strongly that transfem and transmasc aren't tied to AGAB but gosh it's like the whole world disagrees. I can't be with cis people because they just see me as cis, I can't be with trans people because they see me as either a horrible person appropriating trans womanhood or a poor sad transmasc in denial. I can't be with nonbinary people half the time, as they say, "why can't you just be trans AND fem?" no, I'm transfem. I hope more ppl realise I fucking exist

!! yeah!!

it's hard explaining it like no im not detransitioning and i am a femboy but it's not the same as just being a feminine trans guy. i think people hear AFAB transfem and think like. generic cis woman who wants to feel special instead of a trans person with a complex relationship to womanhood and femininity that is inherently trans and can't be understood any other way. & same goes for AMAB transmascs ofc! these are not experiences that can be reduced down to whatever explanation is easier for other people to understand. for me it puts me in the weird position of feeling like I don't really fit into either transmasc or transfem community even though both terms fit me and I have experiences that make me relate to both groups. But once again the multigender angst of "being both means i can't be either" returns lol

[imoga-pride]

Just because some identity is contradictory to you doesn't mean it can't make sense. Actually, nuanced identities are often contradictory when you know the basics of it, ignoring all details and complexity a multilabeled or combined identity can be.

If you think cisgender nonbinary people can't have a definition bc then it would describe someone who is not cis, then you're in the wrong bc just cause something describes you it doesn't mean it applies or include you bc the identity requires self-identification as well.

Same goes for bi lesbian, demisexual, or lesboy, you 'are technically lesboy' (/demi/lunian) but refuses to label yourself as such? Cool then you're not/don't experience that identity 🤯 and that's okay. But to imply anyone with such identity are not that thing bc it can't exist, then you're being a reality denier, bc ppl with such identities exist regardless if you recognize them or not. For instance, just bc someone uses ungrammatical conlangs doesn't mean that language can't exist. In fact, it's written already and it's on you if you're gonna cry or ignore.

Also transhet people are allowed to be nonbinary; binaryn't transfems/transmascs are allowed to be hetero due to their alignment, presentation, AGAB, or any other typical reason.

[wraithdance]

thank you for that amazing dating guide.

"A lot of dating coaches are parroting language/behaviors PROFESSIONAL sex workers use for working and that’s dangerous to not understand"

as someone who isn't even aware of what a dating coach is (????) can you share bit more bout this? no need to if you don't want to tho

I had a whole eloquent reply written but tumblr ate half of it smfh. I tried to edit it this down for readability but it's still hella long and doesn't capture the point I wanna make totally.

so if anyone is interested I can write an accompanying paper with my current class thesis to explain further with academic links in MLA format lmao.

(This is based off of cis hetero dating only because it impacts queer dating which is another beast I can't cover rn)

TLDR: sex workers have an understanding of the dangers of using a man as a trick/cash out that lover girls who listen to shera7 without critical analysis do not. That's dangerous because when you're male centered in dating you are a doormat and when using sex work theories as your basis you are prey for a predator (a cis man) who knows the game (patriarchy) better than you do.

you may or may not have noticed a shift in language towards women who are not sexually explorative 'freaks' and the teasing of those who happen to get played by a man.

Tiktok dating coaches have popped up to give heartbroken women hope in a world where they too, can get a man to cash out and live a soft life after dealing with a dusty. in the same vein Trad wife's who make baking and birthing children look fun have also popped up. (As a disclaimer I really don't care what ppl do with their lives I just like to understand the psycho/social aspect of human nature and there's an analysis on both I can't expound on rn because the length of this reply is crazy already)

as someone who very much so believes in sexual agency, taking money from a man if he plans to waste my time and actively dabbles in kink/sex work (Also got groomed on the internet when the whole 'I wanna be a sugar baby' tumblr bullshit happened in early 2013), I have to point out the hypocrisy of the dating coaches/women who hate 'sluts' who use the terminology and ideas of working sluts.

As the economy goes to shit and people lose hope over having property or living the 'american dream', we are going to see a steady rise of both red pill theory and trad wife ideology and its sister 'the man eater heart of gold who is liberated but not TOO liberated and gets flown out to miami'.

This is because people day dream about 'the good days' of the 50s or whatever fucking era in order to come to terms with the fact they can't afford toothpaste. What did the 50's and previous eras have besides dirt cheap housing? Strict gender dynamics that described a woman's 'rightful' place

Male centered people are going to cling to either the virgin madonna or whore frameworks of past to make sure they get a good seat at the table with a man because that's what those under gender socialization are taught to do.

You might argue 'oh how do you know its not what they want!! You're being judgmental!!' and I will say back, I know because if you have no desire to perform a certain metric if there's not a man to acknowledge or praise you then most likely you are doing this for someone else.

The main reason I point this out is that its created a shift that tightens the constraints of misogyny on two fronts for so many women and will continue to only work to demonize sex workers and the 'undesirables.'

I watched women who slut shamed anyone who didn't keep a penny between their knees transform over night to wear fishnets and poster girl dresses while singing megan thee stallion. We can say this was a personal growth period for them but if you asked them what they thought about strippers or even insinuate they looked like they got a trick they'd freak out.

Then on the other hand you get the people who think they know everything about sex work because of the city girls or Shera7, who don't understand those women are speaking directly to the women who de-centered men and don't want love they want monetary security only (which me core <3)

when lover girls start saying sprinkle sprinkle and don't do research or internal work she will fall for the trap of any man who gives her the time of day. a fattened prey to a predator the game was designed for! That is dangerous because that's how people end up in ditches or in abusive cycles. Its what makes sex work an incredibly dangerous job that requires a lot of research and precautions that people don't want to acknowledge out of purity culture/religious persecution. That's why I wrote my dating advice post the way I did to give a reality check as much as I could. You have to know the game!!

So yeah I got tired of typing so hope this makes sense to why I mentioned it in my dating post idk

[spacelazarwolf]

ngl i fucking hate most conversations around “socialization” bc there’s like three ways it goes: 1. they assert that all trans people were socialized as whatever gender they were assigned at birth with no nuance or exception, 2. they assert that all trans people were socialized as whatever binary gender they most closely relate to, or 3. they assert that all trans people were “socialized trans.” and like. idk how to get it through y’all’s heads that socialization is a wildly fickle and individual experience.

i am autistic. i am also a trans man. i was socialized female. the mask i developed, the social rules i was given to follow, they were for women. the way i learned to speak, to interact with others, the way my life was supposed to go, it was based on how a woman should sound, should look, should feel, should act, should live. i didn’t realize i was some flavor of trans until i was in my mid 20’s, and didn’t realize i was a trans man until i was 28. i’m only 7 months on t and still do not pass. there is literally no planet on which i was “socialized male.” i was also not “socialized trans” because i didn’t even know being trans was an option until well into adulthood. i was given no other option than to conform to gender norms, so i didn’t spend my youth and teen years being bullied for being gender non conforming because i quite literally was just not allowed to be gender non conforming. when people insist i wasn’t socialized female, it erases the trauma i experienced from growing up with such strict gender roles, it ignores the fact that i have had to put in active effort as an autistic adult to start the process of unmasking (which is exhausting and traumatizing) before i can even begin to learn a “male mask” that will be safer in public if i start to pass. it ignores everything about my individual life and boils me down to my genitals, which i could have sworn we didn’t like when ppl did.

does that mean that everyone’s experience has to be exactly like mine? fuck no. there are plenty of trans people who come out very young and do get to grow up presenting as their actual gender and therefore are “socialized” as that gender. there are plenty of trans people who have always been gender non conforming and therefore experienced a lot of backlash that gender conforming cis people of the same assigned gender at birth wouldn’t have. there are as many trans experiences as there are trans people. and this doesn’t even begin to take into account things like race or ethnicity or fatness (hoo boy did that affect gender shit for me) or disability or any other kinds of intersections of identity.

basically, we have got to stop acting like there is a way to determine what a trans person’s experience has been based on nothing but their assigned gender at birth or gender identity.

[clonedchaos]

Okay, so— like.

I’m doing drag queen/king camp this week and HOLY CRAP I did not realize the amount of thought and effort that goes into this work of art. Like, kudos to all the drag icons because it’s only day one and I’m scrambling to try and figure everything out.

All I know is I am neither drag king or queen, I am a drag thing. At least, that’s what they’re referring to it as.

Like, I want my performance to confuse the heck out of the audience over what my persona’s gender is. Are they male? Female? Nonbinary? Yes and no all at the same time.

I feel like that’s part of the idea I want to portray here. I’m a cis female (I don’t care if ppl refer to me as “they” irl or online tho, it doesn’t bother me), but I always referred to myself as a “tomboy” growing up for one reason or another. I want this character to challenge the very gender roles that we as a society fostered into being. Breaking boundaries and being between the lines of what constitutes as a “man” or a “woman”, that’s what I want my persona to represent. They don’t fit into any one category, simply because they don’t need to. They’re just a person. A silly goober, if you will.

As for the fit— thanks to my friend’s advisement — I’m thinking of a 1940s Flapper Dress paired with some more masc attire in shoes, makeup, and maybe hat and tie. It would be very fun and something I’d honestly wear outside of drag. Like DANG 1940s fits are FIRE 🔥! I can get a top hat, add the feathers, wear the gloves, etc. (Yes my friends told me I should make the drag outfit Batim inspired since it’s my fixation and maybe this is my excuse for that, but I really do enjoy the Golden Era of film and media culture of that time period. Either way it works in my favor)

And, of course, I couldn’t resist taking some inspiration from Luz’s Grom outfit from The Owl House. Can you blame me though? I mean, look at it!

Very demure, very mindful, very slay. 💅

Coming up with names and a personality is something I’m going to have to come up with later in the week when I have more time. :3

So sorry if I’m not as active on any of my accounts this week. I’ll try to write when I can, but I have a lot on my plate between work, school, and planning my drag persona and performance. Maybe I’ll ramble more about this if anyone is interested. For now… I need to study (Y’all I was sick all last week and didn’t go to school and apparently I have an exam tomorrow that I didn’t study for I’m SO cooked 🙏😭)

[blackwoolncrown]

Many people have made an identity out of moral superiority manufactured from the fact that they are not heterosexual.

The problem is that attraction isn't a choice, and you're not actually better or special due to who you're attracted to, though you are marginalized if you're not heterosexual.

The problem becomes a legitimate issue when people who are genuinely also attracted to the gender society would consider 'opposite' their given gender feel like that makes them 'less queer' and 'more straight' even when they experience same-gender attraction and thus do everything they can to avoid adopting a label that includes this aspect of their identity so they can seem more 'legitimate' within an LGBT framework...

...which is only relevant since bisexuals have long been de-legitimized as 'pseudo straights' for so long.

So then you have ppl saying weirdo shit like "I'm a gay man but I'm really attracted to butch lesbians" and bi-lesbian discourse. Like how are y'all in the closet and out of the closet at the same time?

It just goes to show how much of showing up in the LGBT community is still about performing to a hierarchy and many people don't want to lose their place on it.

And tbh I just find the scene so unappealing bc of this. Bc the same spaces that pull this dumb biphobic bs got gay dudes that specifically pursue 'str8' men and studs who will date 'straight' cis women but won't date bi girls bc 'we can't be trusted'!!

I'm not interested in y'all. Like save me the speeches y'all can't even be honest about who you are.