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ak319 · 2 months ago

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Lovesick bubbly hubby x fem reader

ミ☆Headcanon#3𓏲

(Warnings: Contains mpreg (bxg pairing, YES, boy x fem reader), and matriarchal themes/gender role reverse so don't interact if you are not comfortable!! ‎♡‧₊˚)

♥︎ Headcanon #2

🍭"Narin, just one more paragraph, c'mon. Then we can go get some ice cream."

"You know, you're the cruellest wife anyone could have. Making me do assignments in this condition."

"What condition? You're fine, Narin. You're not even the one typing your essay. Just one more paragraph, c'mon, you can do it." He acts as if he's in his last months, when he’s only three weeks in. After another exaggerated sigh, he finally gave in, and you closed the laptop with relief.

"It's your last semester. Just get it done, and then your lifelong dream of staying home will come true."

"Are you taking me out for that ice cream or not?" You chuckled, getting up and offering him a hand. "Let's go."

Narin finally got what he wanted after so long, but deep down, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to pull him out of university. Still, the thought of becoming a father—of your child—filled him with uncontrollable excitement. He just prayed that your family wouldn’t cast an evil eye on the baby. Hmph! Lost in thought, he unconsciously placed his hands over his stomach as you drove, unaware of the silent storm brewing within him.

Meanwhile, your mind was all over the place. First, an unexpected husband, and now a child on the way?! You couldn't stop worrying about the future. You never imagined yourself as a mother, especially not with a husband like Narin, who could barely take care of himself. Maybe he would mature once the baby was born... or would you just have two kids to look after instead? How did this even happen? Weren’t you both careful? Wasn’t he taking pills, too? Well, it didn’t matter now. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him, hands protectively resting on his stomach, looking content and as happy as ever. You sighed and decided to put on some music to drown out the spiralling thoughts. Soon enough, you both reached the ice cream shop.

Months passed, and Narin’s university days came to an end. It had been three months into his pregnancy when one day, you came home to find him curled up on the sofa with Prince. There was no usual excitement, no running up to greet you like he always did.

🍭"Narin? You okay? Is something wrong?" By now, the panic in your voice was impossible to hide. You gently made him sit up, cupping his face, and your heart sank as you saw his puffy, red eyes. He was still sniffling, avoiding your gaze, his usual brightness nowhere to be found.

"Narin? You're making me worried. Tell me, what's wrong, baby?"

"I-just-what if you... leave me?! Does your family think I'm not competent enough to bear your child?! Because I feel like it!" His voice cracked with emotion, and you could hear the frustration in every word. Where was all this anger coming from?

"What are you talking about? Who said that?! And why on earth would I leave you?" You could feel your own heart racing. Narin might be childish and immature at times, but he was still your husband, and you cared for him deeply even more so now. Why couldn’t he see that?

"I would never abandon you. Never, you or our child."

"What if it’s a boy? Like me?!" His voice trembled with insecurity, his eyes wide with fear. It was clear the pregnancy hormones were heightening all his worries. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself to stay calm. He needed your reassurance more than ever now.

"Then we’ll love him just the same, Narin. Just like I love you." He finally looked into your eyes.

"Listen, Narin baby. You’re very, very important to me. I love you and our future child, no matter if they’re a boy or a girl. I just want you both to be healthy, and my family wants the same. No one is doubting you, and if they are--just tell me their name. I’ll have a talk with them myself. Now, tell me, did someone say anything to you?"

He shook his head sincerely.

"Then?" you asked gently, stroking his hair.

"I... just had these thoughts..." he whispered, voice trembling slightly. He grasped your collar tightly, his body now almost in your lap. "You won’t leave, right?"

"Never." You held him closer, your voice firm with reassurance, and yet he needed more. He needed to drown in that reassurance, to feel it in every part of his being. You held him tighter, but it still didn’t feel close enough. "And don’t let these thoughts ruin your mood or stress you out. You hear me? Promise me, you won’t."

He nodded, but this time he clung to you like a lifeline, his fingers tightening in your shirt. "Promise," he whispered, his heart racing. He knew that you were not going to leave him but he just wanted to make sure and...was bored. Damn, he can be a really good actor if he wants to but in all seriousness, it's important to remind you that he is now your everything, your new family. In his head, there was no room for doubt. You belonged to him, and no one else could ever come between you two.... and now three of you. Not now, not ever.

In his eyes, the most delightful thing is making you run for whatever he craves, even if it’s the middle of the night or a drive to another town just to get a snack he tried once. He revels in the fact that you’ll do anything for him, and he takes immense pride in bragging about how caring and romantic his wife is. He squeals with childlike excitement when you’re out fulfilling his whims, loving how dreamy and devoted you are.

But lately, there’s a shadow of sadness in his eyes as he watches you work harder than ever. You’ve started a new venture with your friend, and it’s consuming more of your time and energy.

🍭"You should take a break now," he said, plopping down next to you on the couch and peering over your shoulder at your laptop. His tone was light, but there was an edge of concern beneath his playful words. "I don’t want to be a widower in this condition." You jerked your head towards him in shock at his bluntness. It was classic Narin--his naive habit of saying whatever came to mind without fully thinking it through. You just sighed, shaking your head at his antics.

"I’m not dying here, you don’t have to worry. I’ll be done in a few minutes."

"Why are you even doing this?! Isn’t your salary enough-"

"No, it’s not enough. Certainly not for the future when the kid is going to grow up and go to school and stuff." Narin grumbled, leaning his head against your chest with a sigh. He was like a needy kitten, wanting your comfort and attention, and the warmth of your chest made him feel a little safer. 'As disciplined and farsighted as ever. So fucking hot.' Well, he is kind of glad too, now that you are working so much, you rarely have time to visit your own family. Hehe. That's right wifey, work for me and your child now, our child.

"Yeah, you’re right. And also, it’s not like we’re going to have only one, right? I was a single child, so I want more than one kid. Got it?" Your hands paused momentarily over the keyboard.

"Um--yeah, but focus on this one for now..." Narin’s smile widened as he traced his finger lightly across your chest. "Oki! Our kids are going to be the prettiest and the smartest!"

You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm, even as worries about the future tugged at the edges of your thoughts. "Of course," you replied softly, placing a gentle kiss on his crown before returning to your work. In that moment, the presence of each other made the stress feel a little more bearable.

@mel-vaz 🍭

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talaok · 10 months ago

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i loved the hickey fic🥵

can i request a role reversal fic?

reader marks up joel and is unashamed about it

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

a/n: thank you love, hope you'll like this although its been so long you probably forgot about this. and if you're interested, this is the fic they were referring to

It was just you and Ellie in the kitchen this morning. You were laughing about another funny dream she had last night, this one involving Joel trying to tame a gigantic sheep so he could ride it or something, she didn't quite remember the purpose, not that it mattered.

But as you both quite literally felt on the verge of tears from the image the dream was painting in your minds, the main character of said dream, appeared in the doorway, throwing you both a dirty look as if watching two of the three people he loved the most in this entire world didn't fill his old heart with pure joy.

"It's too early to be this chipper" he grumbled, walking to you to leave a quick kiss on your cheek as he reached for the coffee pot behind you.

A gasp sounded from the other sound of the counter

"oh my god what happened to your neck?!"

And it was then, that Joel Miller, the unafraid, stone-cold killer of a man that he was, turned red from hairline to neck.

"O-Oh fuck I-" His eyes widened, his hand going to cover your work on his neck, but it was all useless, because the second Ellie's eyes landed on the smirk plastered on your face, she knew.

"oh my god ew" she groaned, rolling her eyes, her focus going back to the eggs on her plate.

"You remember Janine, that woman I told you about?" you explained, talking to her

She laughed at that, remembering your conversation about that woman who's always flirting with Joel.

"you filled Joel's neck with hickeys because of her?"

Joel wasn't even red anymore, he was turning purple, his eyes were wider than a deer's caught in the headlights, and you suspected he hadn't taken a breath since he first entered the kitchen.

"this..." you smiled, trailing your fingers on Joel's neck "is my own little way of telling her to keep her hands off my man"

Joel choked, he literally choked on his own saliva and just then, just when he was about to have a heart attack, Tommy entered the house, his eyes immediately going to the image before him with more than a little amusement.

"What have I walked into?" he grinned, walking over to the kitchen "And why does my brother look a breath away from exploding?" he laughed, his hands gesturing to Joel.

"y/n here was giving me way too much information that I certainly didn't want to know" Ellie explained, looking at you pointedly for the last part of her sentence, making you chuckle.

"About what?" Tommy asked

"About the work of art I left on your brother's neck"

"wha-Ohhh" he breathed, smiling like a smug bastard as he understood what you were talking about "Janine tried something again I presume?"

"You presume right" you smiled, giving Joel a little kiss on the cheek and stifling a smile at how terrified he seemed "for the last time"

"You ok baby?" you asked, stroking his cheek

His gaze was on Ellie, his mouth parted in shock.

"You still with us man?" she asked, giggling softly, making him shake his head to try and get his mind to start working again.

And then, then the words came tumbling off his tongue, filled with what sounded like pure panic

"S-since when do you know what a hickey is!?"

Everyone in the room except him laughed, but when the shock on his features persisted, and Ellie regained her composure, she answered.

"I'm not a kid Joel, I know what sex is"

Another pang to his poor heart,

he felt all the organs inside him twist into a knot

what the fuck was happening?

Did she just say-

"sex!?" he cried, looking a second away from having a mental breakdown "I-I never said sex- H-how do you even know- I- You- You're too young- I-I"

"ok ok ok" you tried your best not to chuckle, intervening before his heart really decided to stop "How 'bout we go outside for a moment huh? Take a few deep breaths? How about that?" you murmured, soothingly drawing circles on his back

He looked at you then, looking every bit as disheveled as he sounded

"y-yeah" he swallowed thickly, "I-I think that's a good idea"

He looked back at Ellie for a moment to make sure this wasn't a nightmare and he didn't just make that up, before you both left the room.

And as if on cue, the second you did, Tommy and Ellie started laughing like maniacs.

"I don't think I've ever seen him so scared" Ellie laughed, as Tommy sat next to her, patting her back

"Neither have I" he chuckled, none of them saying anything before an idea came to his mind.

a hell of a funny one

"ten bucks if you tell him you know what porn is"

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ominouspuff · 7 months ago

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No Man Left Behind / Something Worth Dying For

REQUESTS / BLOG EVENT

Request from @razzbberry - Palette #1 - Alpha-17, Cody - Death of the Cynic in Me

Notes and close-ups beneath the cut!

Notes: I think Seventeen would, both subconsciously and consciously, keep his cynicism as long as possible. It’s how he thinks the world works, but it’s also a survival tool. It’d be a very, very slow death.

It’s put to the test with Cody — not because Cody is special among his fellow clones, but because he’s one of the first that bothers to fight Seventeen on his own terms. The argument is always the same. Cody wants to talk about what he hopes to be, someday, after he is a soldier. Seventeen thinks he’s stupid to think that’s possible, or that he’d be capable. Cody knows it, and he, might not be. Seventeen thinks it’s even more stupid, in that case; what a waste of energy.

It develops. When they’re older, and in the thick of war, one day Cody risks his life for the chance to save a brother that was going to die anyway. Seventeen yells at him for fifteen minutes once he’s conscious about luck and stupidity and the trouble it’s causing Seventeen and the false hope it’s engendering in others. Cody says he can disagree all he likes, but he doesn’t give a fig, respectfully. Seventeen thinks Cody can go try to get blown up again, if he thinks so.

There’s no point fighting for a better tomorrow; they’re bought and paid for to fight for something else, FOR someone else. Seventeen is prepared for being fodder, as a result. He’s prepared for unfairness and the bleak life that they’re living. Instead he watches as Cody defeats odds time and time again, somehow managing to balance being an exceptional military leader with a secondary war to live for something more, running himself ragged and — inexplicably — gaining ground. Each of those little victories are a little death for Seventeen’s cynicism; a chipping away. A little seed of Cody’s brand of hope takes root, awkward and begrudging, fond and tentative.

Then Order 66 happens. Cody’s efforts for a better life are in vain, and Cody himself-

Cody may never know that Seventeen was right abut just how helpless they were. Now he only knows that Seventeen is a traitor, apparently, because Seventeen — for once in his life — was the lucky one and his chip malfunctioned.

And Seventeen could say ‘I told you so’. He could rest, vindicated and resigned, in the fact that every dream Cody built up and everything he thought was worth dying for is pointless, now — as he always suspected it would be.

But it isn’t fair, even by Seventeen’s standards.

“What are you doing,” Rex will rasp, caught in a strange role reversal as Seventeen paints an armor set with Cody’s golden colors. “He’s not coming back, Seventeen. He can’t. It’s pointless to keep going after him, you need to stop.”

“No,” Seventeen will answer, unbothered, “I don’t think I will.”

“We can’t — we can’t keep hoping,” Rex says, because he means he will probably have a breakdown if he imagines there is even a pitiful possibility he could save his brothers and then have to turn away from that scrappy chance for the greater good and Rebellion, and all that. “We’ve got to move on.”

“Go on.” Seventeen will invite sincerely, one brow raised because he knows Rex better than that.

“Do you want him to shoot you?” Rex will finally yell, all knotted up at the thought of losing Seventeen too, even though it’s funny because Seventeen was never kind to Rex.

“He can try,” Seventeen will say, touching up the last of the paint. He will stand, wiping his fingers, and pick up his pack. “See you when we get back, then.”

Alt version:

#artists on tumblr #fan art #star wars fanart #star wars: the clone wars #commander cody #alpha 17 #Interactive Art Week March 2024 #Palette Challenge #Alpha-17: Life sucks and it always does you dirty #Alpha-17 @ Order-66: …Well that was just UNNECCESSARY #Kinda offended kinda inspired to pitch in and maybe die just like normal but this time with Personal Investment #Normal people: I came for you [relieving/sounds like a promise of loyalty and dedication]#Alpha-17: I came for you [Grim Reaper Vibes]#It’s just his attitude but he means it well #mine

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llamagoddessofficial · 5 months ago

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Okay wait! We need more fae farm Sans please! that was too good! What would it look like when Sans's secret is revealed?

HFKDSJ okay, here's some more.

I really don't think he'd be too worried about it, when you discover his otherworldly nature. Because neither would you. Everyone already knows he's kind of strange, rumours of him not being 'normal' are abound. At that point, you would've already spent many moons getting to know him, being vulnerable without even realising - and you'd be living in a world where fae aren't uncommon at all. He's already proven himself a trustworthy friend. Why would you be scared of him?

... Especially since you have no reason to believe he's anything other than normal fae.

What you (a human) might forget is that the fair folk are not a homogeneous group. Some fae even other fae fear. He's one such entity.

It's difficult to tell if he's more powerful than Dream or Nightmare, considering he spends all his time... well, farming. It's also difficult to compare them because while all three are very ancient, they trace back to very different lineages. Dream and Nightmare are fae of butterflies, flowers, mushrooms, trees, seasons. Farmer is of ferns - of bogs, of gingkos, pine and moss.

Yall remember my Forest God AU? He's like if a Forest God got its act together, and just decided to settle down in a humanoid form. He's lived long enough to know what really matters... things like soft socks, a place to call home, the eyes and lips of a human you love.

He calls you "chickadee". It's his favourite bird.

People from the nearby village will giddily ask if you and Farmer are 'courting'. The delightful but mysterious bachelor finally has someone he likes? Everyone's rooting for him!

You have a very important role, on his farm. Very very important. You're his preserves tester. How is he supposed to know his jams and chutneys are any good, without someone of refined palate to assist him?

He has a really wonderful singing voice.

Old habits die hard; he still likes to trade. But the trades are silly, and often just an excuse for him to play. You want to hear him sing again? Better 'trade' by agreeing to cuddle up by the fire with him. You want another song, because the last sounded so ancient and beautiful and unlike anything you've ever heard? Try his spiced rice pudding, then he'll think about it.

His favourite food is roasted chestnuts.

His farm rests on the boundary between the fae and human worlds. You can enter from either side - and if you're not careful, leave on the wrong side. Farmer always walks you the right way, but if someone he doesn't like decides to make their leave, he might not be so attentive to where they're going.

You can stay at his farm without turning into fae. Alternatively, if you enter his property from the fae side, your transformation into fae is paused.

Wouldn't be surprised if he can reverse an incomplete transformation.

He talks fondly, but in the past tense, about a brother.

#llamagines #fae au

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divinesolas · 6 months ago

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Unsatisfied?

sum: requested by the lovelie; @aegonswife | You had thought your bedroom life with Jacaerys was great. But you overhear a conversation that makes you feel differently. With some help you decide you can make his wildest dreams come true.

w.c: 2k

c.w: sub!jace, choking kink, p in v, sub aegon agenda, miss kink?, porn with plot, not proofread

a.n: i had way too much fun with this 🤭🤭

masterlist

You clutch the book to your chest with a smile on your face. Thank the gods you had gone out when you did or you probably would have missed this. It was a book jacaerys had been talking about but he could not find it anywhere not even the extensive keep library did not contain it. After hearing him ramble about this book you decided you would set out in the morning as the sun rose and would spend all day looking for it if thats what it took.

It did take all day and you were exhausted but you couldn't help but be excited to see his reaction.

“Cmon jace just spit it out, i can stand to look at that pathetic look on your face.” aegon? jace never spends time with aegon. You are too curious to reveal yourself and lean against the wall. “It is humiliating.” “It cannot be anymore humiliating then when you wet your pants-” “Can you shut up!” Aemond? what was happening?

A long moment of silence befalls them before he lets out a loud sigh. “Whatever do you do when you feel unsatisfied with your marital… activities?” You feel faint and you clutch the book closely to your chest to try and keep yourself sane. “You are unsatisfied with your marriage?”

You are going to be sick.

“Of course not! that is a ridiculous thing to say. I love her very much.” You let out a sigh of relief. “Then what activities could you be referring to?”

“in bed.” you flush. For you, your bedroom life had always been more than pleasurable. You had not really ever considered he did not feel the same. “What her cunt too dry and loose?” “you are disgusting do not speak of her in a such a way.”

“then what is the issue?”

You await with eagerness and dread for his answer. You can barely even stand still.

“I have taken on the more, authoritative role in our bed, sure i enjoy myself very much but i,, i find myself wishing the roles were reversed.”

Aegon erupts in to a roar of laughter but you can barely hear it over the sounds of your rushing breath.

“You want her to dominate you in bed? jace if i knew we had so much in common i would not have teased you so much.” “You’re a pig.”

In your shock you drop the book in your hands and gasp, covering your mouth as the room goes silent. You rush to pick up the book as a chair scraps the on ground and run away. You swear you can hear a voice calling after you in the distance but you continue to run until you reach your room and shut the door, leaning against it and gasping for air.

You two begin to flat out ignore each other. You make sure to be ‘sleeping’ whenever he comes to bed, he always has to leave to do some ‘work’ whenever you happen to enter the same room as it. After about a week you get sick of this tip toeing around each other and decide to go to the one person you believe can help you.

“It is unusual you wish to speak to me. And invite me to tea non the less.” Aegon slides into the seat across from you and rests his head in his hands with a grin. “I need you help.”

“oh? and what could you need from little ol me?” You take a long drink from you cup, that is definitely tea and not wine, before you look at him with an eagerness in your eye. “If you were jacaerys what would you want me to do?” The devious grin on his face only grows at your words but he plays dumb and tilts his head, “Whatever do you mean?” “Do not play dumb with me.”

He leans closer to you, “Listen closely, he is probably a newbie to all this so i wont start you out with anything too adventurous.”

“First things first you’ll want to catch him off guard, none of that talking to each other nonsense. This will be much better than talking.”

Jacaerys head shoots up from his desk at the sound of his office door closing and the light metal chain shaking as you lock it.

“Wife. Good day.” He coughs into his fist as he begins it fiddle around with the stacks of papers on his desk. You say nothing and he simply stares at you with wide eyes as you make your way to him and around his desk to be standing at his side.

“y/n…?” He trails off, staring at you confused.

“He will question you assert your dominance immediately. Do not give in the opportunity to interject.”

You pull out his hair and sit yourself in his lap, he immediately grabs your hips and blinks at you. “Is something… wrong y/n?”

“Touching should be off limits. As well as him calling you by your name.” “Well what do you like your women to be called?” He pauses, looking away for a moment before he turns back to you, a light blush had fallen on his face, “He will not like what i like. Start out with something simple.”

You grab his hands and lift yourself up so you’re sitting on them and stare at him. “Its miss to you.” He lets a whine as he gulps at you, is this really what you’ve been missing out on? “If you're doing this because of what you heard please allow me to-” “Shut up.” You grab his neck, putting a little pressure. Not enough to even restrict that much air but it seems to please him as he throws his head back with a hum.

“Touch him merely but not his cock for now, if he liked you as much as he claims too simply your hands will be enough to rile him up.”

Your fingers unbutton his tunic slowly, using your free hand to rub at the skin that slowly begins to peak out. He lets out a couple shaky breaths as you open up his shirt and allow yourself to simply rub his burning hot skin.

“Do not rush, you’ll know when to move on to the next step, trust me.”

He begins to squirm beneath you as your hands trail down near his pants, sliding just the tips of your fingers just underneath his pants. A considerable amount of sweat has built up on his forehead as he shows you his puppy dog eyes. “Please.”

“Now you can finally touch him. Slowly, nothing too rough or tight. Tease him, you want him aching for you.”

you hands fully slide down his pants and slide your fingers gently down his cock, simply lightly grazing against him as he lets out a couple strained sounds. “miss.”

you fully grip onto his at his words and he jumps, letting out a soft moan, “miss what?” you bring your face close to his and let your lips gently brush against his. “miss please. Please touch me miss.”

“only reward him when you feel like he has done enough, this depends on person to person, you decide when you will give in.”

“beg me.”

you expect him to be a bit more reluctant about it. but he does not. “Please miss, ill do anything, miss please i need you miss, miss please ill be good.” you let out your own shaky breath at his words, you did not think you would be enjoying this as much as you are, but the aching feeling between your legs tells you all you need to know.

You stroke him slowly, and he presses his head against you, his mouth right next to your ear so you can let out every delicious moan he lets outs. He was never that vocal during your time together, he would always say he was more interested in hearing you. You cannot believe you had been robbed of this, hearing him whine and softly call out your name as he gets closer to his release.

“please, im almost there.”

“do not allow him to release just yet. Stop him, it will feel much better for him the more you deny him.”

At his words you take your hands away from him and merely watch as he whines and tries to pull his hands out, “no no no please.” you lightly knock his head, “shut up, i dont want you to so you won't.” he groans and pants against you as you wait for long enough for his orgasm to die down before you begin to touch him again. You repeat this cycle three more times to the point he had begun to cry, tears run down his face as you deny him once more.

“please miss, please ill do anything.”

“Now you can fuck him, go crazy, at this point you will not need any guidance, youll be so into it your heart will know each what to do.”

He whimpers as you stand his hands reaching out to grab you as he looks frantically with glossy eyes, “no no no m’ sorry please.”

He watches as you undress slowly, your eyes narrow as he tries to grab his own dick, “if you touch yourself i will not touch you for the rest of the month.” at this he quickly places his hands on his knees and grips them tightly as you stand before him naked.

You stares at you in amazement, no matter how many times he's seen you bare he seems to be just as stunned as he was the first time.

You approach and sit on his lap once more, he starts to whine as you begin to free him from his pants. “let me eat you.” you ignore him and pull down his pants letting his dick slap against his stomach. his hands try to grab yours weakly to stop you, “you haven't cum no no you can't, let me eat you please.” he slurs dreamily.

He has never once fucked you without making you cum on either his mouth or his fingers, usually both. Yet you slap his hands away and glare at him, lifting yourself up and alining yourself with him, “You’ll take what i give you don’t touch me.”

You don't even bother to listen to his reply as you slam down onto him and quickly begin to bounce up and down onto him. You quickly push your lips against his to swallow up his moans as his knuckles turn white as he grips against the chair.

“Jace.” “Miss oh fuck.” His lip dip to your neck and he begins to suck kiss lick bite at any of you exposed skin that he can leading you to throw your head back. “Touch me.”

He hands wrap around your waist as he presses his head against your chest, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and suckling at it.

“Im so close.” He mumbles around you and you shake your head, “Not yet.” He whimpers as he sucks on your tits harder, as he tried to contain himself.

He continues to beg you to allow him to cum but you continue to disregard his own words, seeking out your own release instead. He has to close his eyes tight as throw his head back, adams apple bobbing as he forces himself not to cum as he feels you release around him. “miss please.” You do not let up your pace despite your own release and he can barely contain himself anymore. “cum.”

At your words you feel him burst into you, his white webs lining your walls and he screams as he releases. You brush his hair away that had grown stuck onto his face and press a light kiss against his lips, “Did you like it?” He nods weakly, his eyes barely being able to stay open, “You are the best women in all the known world.” You smile and stroke his cheeks with your thumb, “and next time, just tell me, dont go ranting to aegon deal?” “deal.”

-- perm jace taglist <3

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @jacesvelaryons

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urdadsceilingfan · 3 months ago

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YES I LOVE REVERSE PORTAL AUS!

And honestly I can only IMAGINE the sheer amount of guilt Ford will feel once that portal is turned on and Stan steps out of it alive and well and missing an ARM. The guilt he feels knowing that Stan was alive the whole time and he never turned on the portal, not even once to save him. The guilt would eat him up, seeing the twin brother that he knew, hollow, traumatized and changed forever. And what would be even worse is Stan forgiving him upon seeing him.

Most would say Stan would be angry. But honestly Stan is the type of guy that would blame himself, he’d take one look at Ford and hug him cuz he missed Ford, and that makes Ford feel that much worse, cuz Stan should be enraged, he should hate him, because Ford hates himself. He’s convinced himself all these years that his brother was dead, cuz it was easier to think that, when in reality he was just telling himself that so he wouldn’t have to face the guilt and shame of choosing the world over his brother, his family.

When he knew if the roles were reversed Stan would do everything to get him back, because he loved him that much, the world be damned, he would get him back. Because that was Stan and Ford realizes with horror that hadn’t been him, for 30 years that hadn’t been him, and he feels like the worst human in the world.

AGHHHH THE ANGST ITS IN MY BRAINNN

I’m so sorry I completely forgot this was in my drafts

Throughout Stanleys travel he’s constantly thinking “wow he [Stanford] would have loved this place” or “ I always ruin everything, maybe this time I won��t get in anyone’s way” Because through everything he held onto his family as we can see through the years he lived in his car and never fully blamed Ford for it

Stanley would definitely be upset at Ford when he realizes nobody has been in the basement since the incident and even more so that Ford never even tried to open the portal again,In my head Stan did punch Ford after Ford started rambling asking if he was dreaming

“Stanley? No it’s, No it can’t be you, I must be having some sort of fever dream-“

*gets punched*

“Did that feel real enough for you”

I believe it would take time to forgive his brother but he definitely doesn’t hate Ford either

The sheer GUILT ripping Ford apart he almost can’t stand looking at his brother after his return, wishing Stan would just yell or punch him again instead of looking at him with a half smile or complaining about how high the prices have gotten

All of the twins efforts to get him to have a decent sleep schedule during the summer is thrown out the window But why? Stanleys back and safe now! He’s alive he should be having the most peaceful sleep of his life!

In one moment Ford finds himself back the night his brother was kicked out, their no, his room was quiet and empty with no loud snores to remind him he’s not alone and that Stan is right there for him but now Stanley is back! Only he doesn’t snore anymore, pretty sure he doesn’t sleep much at all anymore, really sure he isn’t the same anymore

Both of them made mistakes and ones not more at fault then the other but they each carry self blame

#i answer things #reverse portal au #l be crying over this like I’m not the one making the ideas #i am my own worst enemy

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barblaz-arts · 8 months ago

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Fellow Chaggie shipper, here and I wanted to ask you a question. Could you please do an analysis post on the Chaggie argument from Hello Rosie. I know this will sound weird but I can't get over the level of icy anger Charlie had towards Vaggie or how despite everything going on, Charlie is more hurt from Vaggie not being honest with her. Just angst all around.

Oh yeah sure I'd love to!

I'm not sure there's a lot I can say about that argument that isn't already super obvious, so I wanna talk about Charlie's anger because of something my brother said as we watched episode 7. He loved that episode apparently because "When they're separated, it's even more obvious that Charlie is the one who's more quick to lose her cool." Which, looking back, is actually true!(To an extent)

Vaggie and Charlie are both quite quick to anger. Charlie is just better at hiding it because she's a chronic people pleaser. Although Charlie wouldn't immediately show her anger at a person being a jerk to her specifically, she's immediately summoning fire and brimstone over anyone who hurts/insults her friends or the cause she's fighting for.

Love this lil bit in "You Didn't Know". How Vaggie is the one telling Charlie to calm down, as if she knows what's about to happen. She knows that if she doesn't at least try to reel in her girl Charlie would be spitting literal fire at a goddamn seraphim.

It would seem like such a surprising role reversal, but if you look at all the times Charlie would lose it whenever Vaggie's not there to tell her "babe, chill", then it makes sense.

But then when their fallout happens, Charlie's short temper is even more apparent. She calls Alastor an asshole to his face even though she considered choosing his support over her father's. She openly glares and rolls her eyes at Rosie when she jokes that her and Alastor look like an item even though she still kept things cordial with Valentino after he licked her arm. She flips the bird at some old lady even though she didn't take visible offense at all the demons that inserted their crude and rude selves in "Happy Day in Hell." While she was cold and subdued even when upset with Vaggie, she was explosive and in ur face when she was pissed at everyone else.

Vaggie reigned in both the girl in Charlie who dreams a little too big and the demon who's waiting to lash out in flames. It really makes me wonder if there's a difference in the kind of person Charlie used to be before Vaggie. Before she had friends to be angry on behalf of and a person to calm her down. And then, in the wake of their argument, Charlie is left with a lot of anger that is easy to ignite.

But I love love love that despite all that anger, Charlie can't bring herself to deny that she loves Vaggie with all of her hurt heart.

This little moment is one of my favorite parts in the series. My brother mentioned that this episode and episode three were his favorites because he liked the beats the dialogues followed. So he looked back--

(the man literally paused the episode to check the opening credits of ep 7 and 3. I was a little annoyed because I just wanted my Chaggie dammit! We'd make terrible youtube reactors with all the pausing and discussing mid-episode that we do...)

--and was satisfied to see that it was written by the same person, Ariel Ladensohn. Apparently she's in a sapphic relationship too and projected her own experiences whenever she wrote Vaggie and Charlie, and it must have paid off because the moments she wrote with them felt so real.

Charlie expressing her fear that even Vaggie's support and love could also be part of the lies she told was understandable considering the betrayal she felt. But immediately following that she goes "Oh that's a horrible to thing to think!" which I love even more. Even when she's understandably mad she thinks about how Vaggie would feel over Charlie thinking that of her. Because although Vaggie lied about who she is, Vaggie was always sincere about how she felt for Charlie. Vaggie's past may have been a lie, but the things she did for, to, and on behalf of Charlie were very real and held dear in Charlie's heart.

I dont have anything smart to say to conclude this. Sorry, I'm not even sure where I went here. Let's all just appreciate the smile Charlie has on her face when she thinks about Vaggie even when she's under a lot of stress I guess.

#asks #hazbin hotel #chaggie #truly love charlie as a character #i dont agree with people who say that charlie didn't feel like the main character of the show #she is still very much the heart and star of the story #if they felt more drawn to the male characters that isn't fully the show's fault #Alastor didn't even have as much screentime as i thought he would have #which is good!#he's entertaining but better in certain doses

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boiohboii · 1 year ago

Text

Protective girl (Charles Leclerc x reader)

Inspires by @charles-eclair16 's fic

When fans go too far, yn wants to protect the one treasure in her life

in which we finally get to see the roles reversed

N.B: this is been in my drafts for so long, omg! Let me know what you guys think!! WARNING: not proof read, some swear words, might have messed up a date, don't focus on any dates mentioned, this is all fictional anyways. Hope you guys like it

masterlist

Liked by Arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,379,064 others

itsmeyn: charles always goes above and beyond for every single fan of his, he tries to take as many pictures and sign as many autographs as possible, but what happened last night was a fucking joke. He doesn't like what I'm writing cause he says that it was just a mistake and that it was fine, but it really isn't, it's so disrespectful and disgusting! He always wants to meet his fans and make them happy only to receive this insanity, him falling AND HURTING HIMSELF because some of you can't fucking wait and be organized like a human being! Charles isn't an animal in a zoo where you race to pet him! He is a human being, he is a son, a brother and a boyfriend! This wasn't just an accident, i have seen these 6 girls multiple times in multiple places! it's so obsessive and so so sick of you to follow him everywhere.... Charles won't speak up because he is Charles and he lives seeing the good in people, but I will tear everything and everyone for his safety, so for you 6 girls you will be hearing from court soon so better prepare a good lawyer you assholes!

Comments on this post have been disabled.

Liked by leclercboy, ynistheitgurl, fuckferarri and 91,739 others

F1_updates_live: Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, YN LN, seen today arriving in front of the UK's courthouse in a red SF9 Ferarri. It had been quite a week for YN as she was seen hitting a fan after the said fan pushed Charles. YN took this fan and 5 others to court, no one knows on what bases but what has come out is that she has won the case which means that Charles and YN have restraining orders against the group.

username: OHH HEEEELLL YEAAAAAHH

username: yn doing God's work

username: yn serving justice

username: that's what we needed

username: hot girl shit

username: the car and suit combo is so fucking hot of her

username: I think this is too much, like these girls just wanted to see Charles

username: @.itsmeyn can we make them 7?

username: another one

Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 617,829 others

itsmeyn: don't blame me, love made me crazy

username: YN IS A FELLOW SWIFTIE?!?!?

username: if I had a nickel for everytime yn and I had something in common I'd have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

username: now I just want her to watch all the charles edits done with a taylor song

itsmeyn: who says i already don't 🌚

username: and I oop-

username: THIS IS THE SWEETEST AND CRINGIEST SHIT EVER!

Liked by wolfffam, maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 817,629 others

itsmeyn: congratulations to my baby, the love of my life, you deserve it and so much more ♥️♥️

username: FINALLY!!

username: idk how to react, ferarri has let us down too many times that all I know is lose

username: I don't see how he deserves it tbh, all of his results are shit for quite a while , he's only where he is cause he's driving a ferarri 🤷‍♂️

itsmeyn: oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the one in a formula one car, in a ferarri, that by the words of many professionals is at its worse era. I don't care about you and your opinion but don't state it as a fact, no one can do better with these strategies. I hate to keep saying this but when your own fucking team doesn't have the same dream as you it turns to shit. Even if charles is the only one in the car, it's still a team sport, not a one man sport. Fuck you and your tiny ass brain that can never survive one lap in a formula one car, it'll probably explode cause of all the bullshit in it before the first lap anyway. So next time you wanna talk shit maybe try to do fifth of who you're criticising is doing, I bet that'll shut you up real quick you dimwit.

Liked by leclercpascale, pilotesofmonaco, tswiftyn, and 52,719 others

F1_updates_live: YN LN, Charles' long time girlfriend, seen today fighting Xavi in Bahrain due to his mistake on the radio which resulted in Charles losing his podium position.

username: good for her

username: charles is so lucky

username: I love how she always stands up for him

username: honestly, whenever charles or carlos ignore the strategies they win... I really wanna see more of that.

username: this is just Monaco 2024 GP all over again, yn was so fucking furious (rightfully so) cause Xavi's mistake costed charles a p1 in his home race.

username: this shit was so heartbreaking man

username: I think this was the first time we ever saw yn angry at sabotaging charles, like the most we saw was her holding his hand when crossing the street, making sure he eats first, playing with his hair when nervous, but I've never seen yn make someone literally cry until 2024 with Xavi being her victim

username: pffft, victim, he 100% deserved it

username: oh yeah, definitely. All my homes hate Xavi, like can you not say the strategy properly 😒

#f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #charles leclerc #f1 #charles leclerc fluff #charles x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc one shot #charles x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles x yn #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc twitter au

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velvetcloxds · 6 months ago

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THE PRICE OF FREEDOM | S.R

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

word count: 0.8k

warnings: toxic family, parental role reversal, guilt

summary: spencer and the team come over to your new place to celebrate you finally leaving your toxic childhood home

a/n: started off strong , became too real, rushed the ending

It wasn’t much of an achievement for most, moving out of the house you grew up in, doing so in your mid-twenties even less so. But Spencer thought it the biggest achievement, the bravest step you’d ever taken, and you were touched by his excitement. It was a small little apartment, open floor space, everything flowing into one and with your boxes still scattered everywhere there was hardly room for everyone- but Spencer bought a cake. Rossi said he was bringing pasta and you just barely heard Emily promise to bring champagne, so you couldn’t talk anyone out of making a fuss.

It was a confusing set of emotions, you’d been dreaming of leaving for years, since your second year at university, but guilt always stopped you in your tracks. You didn’t want to leave without her, leave her in it, feel responsible for her, like getting a good job and finding a good place should be to save her and not yourself, not just yourself. And you waited, begged, bargained, fought with all your might to have her see things for what they were and leave, you would’ve done anything to make it happen for her- but despite it all, despite years of pain, she wasn’t ready to escape and as much as you wanted to make her ready, you couldn’t. You were, you didn’t have it in you to stay even if you wanted to for her, you had to get out, for you.

“Do you think there’s enough candles?” Spencer was fiddling about in the living room area, though it wasn’t truly ready to be lived in yet, furniture wasn’t in the cards for a while so of course he’d taken to constructing some with all your boxes.

“I think it’s plenty,” you smiled and it felt more sincere than it looked, only barely hiding the embarrassment from not having working lights set up yet. “More and we might set the place on fire before I unpack,” you pulled some paper plates and cups from the grocery bag, hoping no one would mind as much as you did.

You knew they wouldn’t, knew they wouldn’t mind sitting on dented boxes, eating cold pasta, and drinking fancy alcohol out of party cups. If anything it just felt like a testament to your fate, to how rash your decision was, how unprepared you were for whatever was to come. It reminded you that you had no idea how to exist outside of your terror, if you weren’t protecting your mother, what were you doing? Throwing lackluster dinner parties while she was still ever miserable with a horrid man and no escape. It made you feel all the more guilty, and all the more selfish. You couldn’t comprehend the excitement you were expected to be expressing. With all your might you had to convince yourself not to run right back to that blush pink bedroom stained at every inch with dried tears and echoed with screams of bitterness.

You had to convince yourself once again that you were free and you deserved to be as much, you didn’t choose to be born into that madness, you had every right to run away from it. She chose to stay, countless times, no matter how many scary nights or pleating fits of fear, she chose to stay.

“I think we can paint the walls if you’d like, Morgan would help me, though I wouldn’t ask Garcia because she might end up choosing a bright green or yellow,” you met his breathy scoff with a lazy hum, stilled in the middle of counting out the right amount of bamboo forks, staring at the only corner you’d managed to unpack- the photo frames. Spencer followed your gaze, and landed on a large frame with a colourful picture of you and your mom at the theatre, only a few months ago, her smile was only ever that big when you were away from home, from him. You dropped the lightweight utensils with a sigh, everything felt wrong, you felt wrong. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” he knew the answer but didn’t know how to approach the situation without asking anyway. You hummed, bit back a fake smile that would only turn to a frown even if you tried to stop it, and folded your arms around yourself to ground you.

How a space so small, so full, could feel so void, lonely, you weren't sure. Your mom had been dying for years, not physically, but he’d been hacking away at her soul since you could remember- left a shell of her, a ghost, you’d mourn her daily, he made sure of it. Now the mourning was different, the grief, leaving your best friend, your shadow felt like you’d buried her alive and left her screaming. Horrendous thing, the juxtaposition of it all, you couldn’t spend another second in that house, can’t imagine taking another breath without her at your side. You hoped she’d follow, it’s why you borrowed the queen size mattress and not the single from Hotch, space for her, somewhere to escape to when she was ready, but who’d protect her while she wasn’t?

“I was thinking,” careful hands slid over your elbows, loving smile met your gaze. “With your power still out, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone in the dark. Maybe I can stay over?” Spencer was never so forward, if he were he’d present you with ample facts to support his case first, not such a simple little tale of charm.

“Please,” you’d not usually accept so easily, but you were being profiled, you’d learn to know when you were and though not always intentional, Spencer tended not to notice how unsubtle he was with it. You smiled, traded your own embrace for his, looked up at him with your chin planted on his chest. “How am I reading, Dr. Reid?”

“Not well,” he tutted, brows dipped with sympathy, eyes sparkling with genuine care as foreign as it comes. “Which is valid, every horrible and amazing feeling that you’re experiencing is completely valid.”

“I’m scared she’ll never forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to be forgiven for, you are not her keeper, she knows that, you love her but that’s still the truth,” he kissed your forehead, squeezed you a little tighter than before. “You know all of this, but I won’t stop reminding you.”

“Can we visit her?”

“As many times as you need to.”

You stood like that for too long before the room echoed with far too eager knocks, dinner was cold but delicious as only Rossi can achieve and when the cake came you were sat on the floor next to Spencer, smiling as Derek bargained for the biggest piece. Spencer’s hand was entangled with yours in his lap, head on his shoulder and for just a second you felt light, weightless- new.

“Are you still okay, sweetheart?” he whispered with a soft smile, hopeful and you nodded, instantly took the plate when JJ handed you the biggest piece of cake.

“I think so, Spence, I think it’s all going to be okay.”

Maybe it was delusion, maybe tomorrow you’d wake up drowning in dread and pack your few unpacked boxes to go back, maybe you’d stay and spend every second hating yourself for giving up on her, not saving her, maybe she’d finally leave and start over. Maybe you’d stay stuck in time, lingering between the first time he did it and the last, forever the little girl who grew up too soon because someone had to take responsibility for saving her. Maybe you had no purpose beyond that, maybe that’s what you were made for, to fix her and comfort her and stand up for her. Maybe you were the biggest of failures for thinking you could have more from life than that horror, that love ridden burden. Maybe peace only comes after and not during life, born into chaos, into hatred out of young love, maybe the idea of your freedom was as fleeting as his affinity for family. How can someone raised in darkness ever dare to look for light, let alone try and live in it? Maybe you were only ever meant to be nothing more and nothing less than a lesson about how broken people make broken children. Shackled by the knowledge that you never should’ve been, she’d left him sooner if you weren’t.

Imagine that, your whole life devoted to making up for being born, for making it impossible to leave until it was far too late. Hope and freedom, like love, is nothing but a golden cage.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x yn #spencer reid fic

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tuliptic · 1 year ago

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What Is My Purpose Here On This Land

This is for all, but especially for those with existential crises. We’ve wondered what we are meant to do, do we have a purpose being on this planet, and many more questions continue to feed our brains.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages does your weary heart need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1: The Rose

A card to represent you: The Chariot

One funny thing when I was shuffling this deck was that this card came out tumbling. It was like.. Upright, reverse, upright again. I’m taking this as a sign. You like taking the wheel. You’ve been through the ups and downs as you journey ahead, sometimes lacking direction, learning self-discipline throughout the process, learning the importance of strength and will, finding balance, and driving to where you are right now. There’s this determination that you’ve gained from past experience, and you’re still driving ahead. A word of advice is to be aware of your own focus level, and to take a rest when you’re tired. The journey of life ahead is long, and it’s always alright to take a break now and then. For some reason, I also feel some of you may be travelling right now, or intend to travel in the future. Make sure to prepare a proper itinerary and have emergency numbers saved!

1. What is my role here on earth? - The High Priestess

First word I’m picking up is healing. You’re the person who answers to the cries of help, being the Universe’s hands in providing aid to those who pray for it, to be that gentle beauty without losing your thorns. You’re called to be the healing energy, to be the kindness that people need but may or may not deserve. Not to put a burden on you, but you probably tend to be kind and subconsciously heal or watch over those who need your help, even strangers, and even people who do not deserve those kindness. (There’s this nagging behind my head that reminds me of the people in Gotham who did nothing yet yells for help/salvation, instead of fighting and protecting their “loved” ones.)

2. Have I achieved it? - The Fool

You’re only starting on this journey. Or maybe have yet to start on this journey. You probably realised this uhhh ability of yours very recently, or have only decided to really start doing something on it. See, realising this ability/skill doesn’t mean you have to do something about it. You may realise your skill for art but not continue cultivating that skill. It’s the same. You’ve probably stopped all those questions and try to take out that first step to do it. You’re killing your doubt step by step, betting in yourself and trusting in yourself to do something entirely new. (Yes, ITZY’s Bet On Me is playing as I write this.)

3. How to achieve it? - The Sun

There are so many things embodied in this card: brightness, hope, ray of hope, and more to come. What I’m feeling from this is mainly warmth, asking you to just be this Sun, to shine just as you are. It’s gonna sound weird but imagine healing rays? I’m cringing and having a weird face as I type this out. But yeah, just be who you are, to continue doing what you do. Just know that your presence is like a walking energy-purifier, lifting up the spirits even by smiling to strangers or wishing them a good day. You can attempt to try doing something else, for example, being more active in volunteer work in nursing homes and shelters, playing a part in activist activities, or even taking up counselling courses to help people out. These are only some of the many ways that are available. Most importantly is that you do kindness with kindness, not to have any ulterior motives behind them.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Seven of Wands rx

The world is changing, more and more people are experiencing a feeling of defeat and overwhelmingness, including you. All are called to make a change, and this is your part in the pledge to make a change. We have arrived at a time of change, and actions need to be taken. People have been fighting among themselves, you may even have been having conflicting thoughts and contradicting beliefs. Peace has been taken away, and instead of fighting to get back that same peace, it’s time to recreate a new peace that will work for this new world. A new structure is needed, and you’re one of those first few people who are tasked to build things anew again.

5. What can I learn from it? - King of Pentacles rx

What you’ll be learning is not only based on what you’ve experienced, but from what you’ve observed. You saw the fall of those who have been obsessed with earthly riches, those who have been paying attention to the materialistic realm, and have forgotten to nourish their soul and mental energy. The downfall was harsh and painful, reminding you that balance is needed in every aspect. From there, you’re gonna continue spreading kindness, letting the scars of the past be a reminder of what has happened, and how you’re gonna redirect the course of your energy.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Knight of Pentacles rx

Self-discipline will take you to a lot of places, and will also be able to take you to places that you thought you never would’ve reached. This gift of yours, this purpose of your is not to let you be more spiritual, but to be more down to earth. You’re supposed to be the bridge between the spiritual themes with the practical, existing world we’re living in right now. From this, you’ll also be able to get connected to your roots, your family, your ancestry, even get connected to your race. I hope I do not get into trouble with how I phrase myself here hshshs. But y’know how colonialism has affected a lot of things, like religion and even language. I don’t quite remember where I heard it, but Tagalog or Filipino, languages of the Philippines, have Spanish influence in it. Or how Christianity kinda replaced the other folk religions with how it’s being brought in. So yeah, you’ll need to do the dissection to find out which was the original, which you wanna connect with. You define your own roots, and you take charge of it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Tower

Whilst you dream, you clear your mind of all negativity and your spirit will be refreshed. With that, you’ll charge ahead, doing everything you can until you feel that you’ve changed the world. It sounds really idealistic, but if you need to remember the catastrophic energy that The Tower brings. The change is not gonna be small, and you can’t do it alone. You’ll work ahead, without knowing how long it’ll take. You then make friends on the way, working towards the same goal but with different tasks, slowly but steadily paving and painting a new path. Just like the straw that breaks the camel’s back, your tiniest effort shatters the restrictive and unhelpful rules that were oppressing the people. That’s what you’re meant to be, that’s what you can achieve. But I need to remind you that this self-fulfilment level differs for everyone. One can feel content by doing small things, while some want the satisfaction that comes with doing great things. They are all valid and powerful acts in their own ways, and no one can deny the effort and effect that comes with it.

Overall energy: The Fool, Ace of Pentacles

Overall, you’re called to take actions to start a new chapter of your life. You’re the main character of your own story, you’re the one who decides how you want to paint your journey. However, whatever that you’re intending to do, remember to not do it alone. A solo trip is fun, but a journey? It’s best to have people joining your cause to support each other. Remember that there are other animals in The Fool, cuz one is a guide and the other is a guard/support. The energy of rebirth and transformation comes heavily in this pile, and sometimes, it can destroy you in the process. Proceed with caution and with faith. We are praying for you as you travel.

Pile 2: The Mirror

A card to represent you: The Sun

You attempt to be a person to bring warmth to people around you. The Sun shines warm lights, and that’s something you enjoy as well. But sometimes, when anger gets hold of you, you tend to burn people around you, accidentally or on purpose. You don’t really use the reason “I didn’t mean to”, because if you injure people, you totally mean it. It’s probably due to them crossing your boundaries repeatedly, and you didn’t want to hold back any longer. But still, the card wants to remind you of who you wanted to be. Do not let anger cloud the true you. Let out that anger at the right person, and go back to who you are, the warm and accepting you.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Judgement rx

I don’t really wanna use the word here but you’re called to learn the karmic lessons in the past, may it be the current past or your past lives. There are times that you hold on to your values, yet the world continues to challenge you, which may have made you question what is the meaning of you being here, what do you need to do to get out of this cycle of unfairness. Instead of fighting it, it’s time for you to discard the mask of pride that you’ve been wearing, and accept that unfairness is a part of life that you need to go through. Once there's acceptance, you can build a new structure (structure on how you go through problems, or building up new values or habits, or anything else that can help you). Humility is what you need. And stay away from humiliation. These are two very different things. People taking credit over what you do is… Something you need to be aware of. But. If there are people out there who take credit over what you do yet accuse you of copying or shit like that? Fight.

2. Have I achieved it? - Seven of Pentacles

This is something that will take long to achieve it, but you’re still on the way. You probably have noticed this… Thing? That things have been unfair and that it is too tiring to live, and you’re somehow somewhat struggling through life. Sure, there are times that are fun, but you know that fun does not last long and once it’s time, you continue crashing the waves and pressure life gives you. You feel like you’ve been doing this forever, and things just don’t seem that they are turning better. Have faith that it will. Belief is a skill that comes with birth, you just need to hold on to it, believing that things will resolve in the end. Which it will. The struggles will become lighter eventually, because hard work and effort pays off.

3. How to achieve it? - The Magician rx

There are some other untapped talents in you, and it’s time for you to unlock them. You need to be able to find them and develop them. It’s not something you can easily access to, but it’s something you’ll need to practise and to get good at, and then to use them wisely. This untapped skill of yours may be something spiritually related, with you standing in between humanity and spirituality. You need to be aware to not fall into people’s traps, and to make sure that you do not manipulate others in the process. I feel that this pile may have some talents or skills in manipulation and deception (either you’re aware or not), but you can choose to not do so. Remember, if you choose to do so, there will be more things that you’ll lose. The Magician talks about alchemy, where you use one thing to exchange for another of equal value.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Nine of Wands

There’s a resilience that you need to learn, encouraging you to pay attention to your rights, believe in yourself and defend your position or property. It is time to gather your experiences and life lessons, to reflect on what life has shown you. There’s this hint of spirituality that you’re also called to evaluate - to see what it has to offer in your life, to see how you can use this to make it another life lesson/asset of yours. You need to remember that the process of learning can be difficult and challenging, but you can also make it fun, make it lighter. Unlike in school, where you learn without passion (for most people), you are now learning new things because you’re interested in it. So yeah, learn through playing and experimenting, celebrate each growth and resilience you’ve unlocked. I hope I’m making sense here.

5. What can I learn from it? - Four of Cups

I doubt that many who pick this pile are happy with meditation, but this is one thing you’ll be learning. There’s a need to reevaluate yourself, and realigning values within you. I’m having some difficulties in forming my words, because it feels like your pile already knows about this, but in some sense, refuse to do this, refuse to acknowledge this. You’ve probably heard a lot of this kinda talk, where you need to do this and that to achieve that enlightenment. You really didn’t like that, and you still don’t like it. Yet, this is needed. You need to go through a long while of silence, a time of reflection, to make changes and to be reborn again. It’s difficult, you may cry again and again, because you’ve been in darkness for so long, slowly giving up on whatever ways are out there. Know that it can’t be any darker than this, and it’s also a chance for you to recognise light, and to embrace that light.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Five of Cups rx

You have to accept pain has been crucial in your growth, and walk away from it. It’s time for you to move on, and you’ll find yourself to be more… Accepting? Acceptance is a huge theme in your reading, where you acknowledge that this has happened, and you accept it, and then move on with life. As long as you accept something has happened, that weight will be slowly lifted away from your shoulders. You won’t be able to move when you’ve been crushed by all those unhappiness (or even happiness) that you’ve been holding onto. Focus on wholeness, learn how to take things up and put them down, continue on with the journey of letting go.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Hierophant

The Hierophant is often related to religion, and it being paired with spirituality speaks even more so. I’m not saying that achieving enlightenment (don’t mistake it with the Buddhist term, please) IS fulfilling for you, but it is one step to achieve what you wanted - release. Life’s burdens have been pulling this pile down, and what you want the most is release, release from responsibilities; release from fears; release from expectations; release from this endless cycle that has been trapping you. You’ll need to invite in a new thought to be released from what has been tying you down, and it’s time for you to be reborn again.

Overall energy: The Lovers, Eight of Cups

There are times where you need to make decisions between two choices that were offered to you. Oftentimes, you want to pick neither, but life decides it for you anyways. Either paths will lead you to where you’re meant to go, so why not stand still for now and listen to your life? Looking at it may be distracting, as there are a lot of worries and neon lights around. Make a cup of drink, sit down, put on your earphones and play some soft music. You might be able to hear something. One thing I have to mention is that there’s a heavy Pluto and karmic energy I’m sensing from here. It’s like… A huge circle, a cycle, where things happen again and again. You’ll need time (and a lot of time) to complete this cycle, only then you can break free from there. Some may feel dejected, but do remember that every step you’re taking right now is bringing you closer to the end. The Mirror is also here for you to reflect, to see who you are, and to see who you are Inside. Make this promise that you’ll be kind to yourself, appreciate each step that you’re taking and celebrate the small wins.

Pile 3: The Key

A card to represent you: The World

This pile is giving me a very comforting and secured energy. Paired with this card, those who picked this pile may have completed a project, or have achieved one of their goals in life, or are close to closing an existing project with success. You may also be one of the fixed signs (Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) or have them in your personal planets. Another thing I’m picking up is that some of you may be looking out for new projects to start when you haven’t reached the end of the current project. Take a step back, do not rush into things quickly. Sure, an end speaks of a new beginning, but you need time to plan a proper project and to recuperate from the exhaustion of the previous project.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Three of Swords rx

I’m seeing more of a guide here. You have been through difficulties in life, and from those, you’ve gained experiences, insights, knowledge and wisdom. With that, you’re tasked to guide the rest who are going through a hard time this round. It’s difficult because kindness isn’t something everyone is equipped with, and for you, especially, you may find it a lil bitter. This is where you challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, to try something that you’ve never thought of, or even detest. But you gotta do it as the path you step on is the road to growth and illumination.

2. Have I achieved it? - Knight of Wands

You're charging towards it, albeit a lil reckless. You do have the passion in it, and you’re more than willing to be the change, even wishing that the change is something that can change the world. You can’t wait to experience the storm and thunder, wanting to feel the same scale of impact. However, you need to remember that passion can dissipate quickly, like how it started. There might be transits in your life, maybe Mars is transiting one of your personal planets right now, which gives you that impulse of wanting to achieve something. You are in control of your response, but the actions of other people and events are not. Do not be dejected when people reject you, but continue ahead without that recklessness.

3. How to achieve it? - Ten of Swords

You will be able to achieve it by going through defeats. You’re one who learns through actual defeats, the pain, remembering the falls of life through your body and soul. From there, only then you can compile those you’ve learnt and observed into a book, for your own and other’s references. At this phase, you may feel pulled between one path or another, and pushed to make a decision. It can be quite tense, but don’t avoid it. These tense situations build your strength, getting you ready to fly. Do not bend; do not submit defeat, continue ahead to chase after your ideals. Let that resolution and will to be your light.

4. Why do I need to do it? - Two of Wands rx

There’s a fear in you, not knowing what you are meant to achieve. This could be a personal goal for you to focus throughout your lifetime, building yourself up, giving you an unnamed courage to find your inner power. I feel that you may have subconsciously (or maybe consciously) compared yourself to people around you, wondering where in life you are, what you’re meant to do. To counter that, you need to set a personal goal, to have some sort of inner alignment, and figure out what you want to achieve. Do you want to appear as a confidant people turn to? Are you keen on sharing thoughts and experiences to make people’s lives a lil bit easier? Try taking a notebook and writing your goals down, and see what you need to do, or what you should stop doing to achieve that. It’s time that you activate a certain switch in you to be that fire (either to warm or to destroy. It’s up to you).

5. What can I learn from it? - The Hierophant, Ace of Pentacles

I feel that you may be even able to start something, maybe a support group or a club, especially in a religious context. There’s some form of finances involved in it, so yeah, maybe a support group where you guide others, and others guide the others, and let the leaves of the tree expand. Finances will be involved in terms that there are donations coming in, which you may use to assist those who are financially needy. You’ll be able to accept this new side of yours, and be more willing to reach out your hands because you could physically see how this chain of kindness continues on, holding on more hope that things can actually change for the better.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Judgement

It is time for you to reevaluate your life, what meanings you want to fix to your life. There may be a calling to change your life or open your heart to new possibilities, to new responsibilities or a new field of work. The horn in this card symbolises that there may be a wake-up call from the world around you, telling you that it’s time to stop being in your head, to see the world for who it is, and how you’re supposed to make changes, or answer to those changes. Change can refer to something tangible and immediate, or the whole way one sees life. In fact, you may have already changed without realising it.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Five of Cups rx

There’s a release from pain and suffering. The pain and suffering does not necessarily mean something physical, but something that’s more on a spiritual level. Y’know how sometimes one can feel… Empty and blank? That. That is actually suffering on a spiritual level, because you have no direction, no guidance, and sometimes that could feel suffocating. Some out there could just go along with life even though they have no idea what to do, and it’s cuz their direction of life is to go along with what the journey has to offer. What you’re doing right now is just standing there and looking blankly to where your eyes are looking, which increases the weight in your chest and legs. Through this, you’ll be able to find a proper direction and the awakening that comes with it will elevate you. Walking again after you’ve been standing so long will be uncomfortable at first, but take small and steady steps. You’ll find yourself running again soon.

Overall energy: The Star, Four of Swords

This reading talks about hope and rest, and how they come hand in hand. I felt a weight on my chest as I was typing the self-fulfilment part, because of how heavy the desperation and feeling of loss is. Know that The Star is shining a gentle ray of hope, consoling you that things will be better. The Star may not be visible all the time, especially in the daylight. But know that she is always there, and you can hear her whispers in the night, when you think you’re about to fall. Be kind to yourself and share your beauty as well as knowledge with those around you. But remember to take rests as well. You can’t afford to do much when you’re having a burnout. It’s alright to fall, but remember to rest and stand up again. Your passion is your greatest drive, go for it.

Pile 4: The Word

A card to represent you: The Magician rx

I feel like you’re currently standing in the middle of two different things, two very different and distinct fields (like science vs arts, realism vs spirituality), not knowing where to head to. There’s some sort of pull from both of them and you’re feeling very, very torn. However, remember that the Magician is someone that has a lot of skills, and has been acting as the bridge between the physical plane and the spiritual realm for a long time. You, also, have the skills to bridge between the various fields/things that are scattered across. As the bridge, you can see the connecting and overlapping points, and you can build out from there. You honour differences and expand.

1. What is my role here on earth? - Two of Swords rx

Your role is to take out the blinds that were covering the people’s eyes, including yours. You are called to stop them from hiding or shying away from the truth, making them see what is the truth, calling them to face reality. For some reason, I feel that you may have not been very liked at home due to this nature. Your parents may think that their reputation or status as parents should not be challenged, but you couldn’t care less about it. What you cared about was that justice and truth be upheld, and you won’t hesitate to rip anyone apart if they tried saying otherwise. This, in turn, has created quite a huge confrontation when you were growing up. But are you stopping there? No. You will continue your role of wake up call, but only once or twice. You’ve understood that there are always people out there who want to run away from the truth, and you’re not gonna waste your effort and time on them.

2. Have I achieved it? - The Chariot rx

You’re currently in a fallback. You took a step back to look at the options available and to reevaluate the situation. You realise that you were having a narrow goal and vision tunnel, which will cost a lot of meaningless sacrifice. You may have thought that it was okay to let your horses run without holding the reins, but now is not the time. You’re now evaluating and weighing the pros and cons, which are the items that you want to invest your time and energy on, finding out where your passion lies. A word of advice: Do not be afraid to try multiple things. Nothing is fixed in stone. Just like you may discover a new favourite dish later, you may also discover a new skill that is useful.

3. How to achieve it? - Page of Cups rx

First of all, you need to kill your doubts and fears. Fear is one main thing that’s stopping you from trying new things in different fields. There are always new things out there waiting for you to try, there are new opportunities that can’t wait to come to you. Being protective of your own energy is important, but you need to get out at times, to talk to people, to learn their ideas and train of thoughts, to see things from their point of view. This way, instead of tearing down the blinds covering their eyes, you’ll be able to verbally convince them to take the blinds down themselves, which is a much gentler way. Be honest and true, even to your fears. Accept them, and they might reward you with something special.

4. Why do I need to do it? - The Fool rx, Knight of Pentacles

I’m seeing some form of heavy responsibility here. You are not tasked to enjoy or to have fun, but to be like a defender, a protector, even a fighter or truth. Unlike The Fool, who goes on new journeys having fun, you are stationed at a place, guarding the gates, making sure those who enter are those who have earned it. This responsibility is not randomly placed on people, but it chooses those who vow to bear witness to the truth. Obligation is a word that’s also relevant here, where you’re also willing to bear this duty. Not sure if you’re doing this because you want the truth to be known or you just wanna spite people by forcing them to look at their wounds. It’s all up to you.

5. What can I learn from it? - Page of Wands

It’s like… A stone egg hatching. You thought that it was a stone, from its rough and hard exterior. But in reality, it’s actually a dragon egg. You learn that miracles happen in various forms, and that one really needs to think of the various possibilities and potentials you hold, even the ones that sound impossible. It’s alright to fail, it’s alright to fall, as long as you continue to climb up and attempt, you’ll be able to see the glory that’s arriving your way. Glory is a huge word but it is what it is. Stop losing focus and get that glory in your hands.

6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Eight of Pentacles

You can transform into a gem by polishing and honing your skills. If I were to compare and describe, I’d say that you’re a jade as compared to other stones out there. It takes a skilled master to recognize the green under the hard and dusty exterior. Now, you’re that skilled master, and you’re gonna trim and polish the rock to reveal the gentle green in it. It can only be done little by little, and repeating the process until you see that gleam of green. And that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna polish your skills day by day, night by night. Repetition of the task can sound mundane but that’s needed for you to be able to gain precision. This precision can be used in a lot of places, such as knowing the fine line of breaking the truth harshly or choosing to not say a single thing. Sometimes, people have their pride, and that precision will be able to help you to observe which line to cut, where to stop.

7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Ten of Swords rx

Through this, I’d say that you’ll be able to let go of the past hurt that you have. There is a lot of anger and pain, especially when you recall how you were treated unfairly. You weren’t in the wrong, but you still get attacked. Now, you’ve learnt how to see things from their side and handle them properly, you’re now able to move on from that anger. It’s difficult, but at least, that chapter of your life is ending. You can close that book, and move on to the second book of your trilogy. Life’s a journey, make the rest of it worthwhile.

Overall energy: The Star, Seven of Cups (Strength hidden behind that keeps wanting to show up)

The Word in this picture is Love. Redirect that love to yourself, allow hope to shine on you, and accept that gleam of hope. Opportunities are coming, but you need to learn how to differentiate them from the illusions or wishful thinkings you’ve made. Fret not, you have the strength, the power to discern them according to your inner code of morale. You have what it takes, so practice courage each day. There’s a new you in the future that’s waiting for you. They seem eager, and prepared to take you onto a new journey, to see the new sceneries that come along with it.

Thank you for reading!

#tuliptic #🌷#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #general tarot reading #i'm not sure how to feel about this tbh #it's very conflicting #so i guess it's prolly gonna resonate with a very specific group of people #do drop me asks if you need further clarification on them #i'll do my best to explain them to you #finally gonna get this out so i can focus on something else yeet

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observeowl · 3 months ago

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Second Chance | Chapter 2 - Back In Time

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You didn’t know how long you had been sleeping when you opened your eyes, but it looked like your old home's ceiling. You couldn’t understand what was happening because you remembered selling it after marrying Natasha. Deciding that it must be a dream, you closed your eyes again, getting comfortable on your bed, when you remembered you were involved in a car accident.

You sat up in shock, looking around the room, and it was exactly how you decorated it in college. You couldn’t understand what was happening and picked up your phone to check the date. You went back to 10 years ago! How is this happening? You went to your washroom to check for any injuries from the accident, but there was nothing. You took a better look at your reflection, and you looked a lot younger. These ten years have done a number on you.

You took a deep breath collecting your thoughts but couldn’t understand how this was happening. A knock on your door made you snap your head towards it. “Y/N, are you going to be ready soon? You’re going to be late for class.” Hearing the sweet voice from your mother made you rush towards the door, giving her a bear hug. She stumbled slightly, not expecting affection from you. Your family wasn’t huge on affection. A typical day where everyone is gathered without an argument would be the best; the three words would never be heard in this house.

“What’s happening? Is there something scaring you in your room?” She patted you slightly on your back, trying to look inside. You never realised how small she was. You knew she was shorter than you, but she seemed so big and strong when she took care of you.

You shook your head, wiping the tears from your face. “Where’s dad?”

“He’s gone to work. Are you going to be back for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. You better get ready to leave, or you’ll be late. You wouldn’t want to ruin your streak.” She pushed you back into your room for you to get ready.

On the bus to school, you thought about all that happened to you. Was this going to be permanent? Do you want to return? You could start a new life here and forget about Natasha.

Once you reached the school gates, you realised you didn’t know what class you had and were supposed to go to. Thankfully, you always had the habit of putting your timetable on your phone’s lock screen. You needed help remembering where the classrooms were and relied on the signs hanging to get there. Your friends were already there and had saved a spot for you in the middle of the class.

Everyone seemed to be whispering to each other and holding something in their hands, which made you turn and ask Camellia if there were any handouts you were supposed to print out or collect.

She looked at you surprised. “We are supposed to hand in our essay today, Y/N! Don’t tell me you didn’t print it out!” You widened your eyes and checked your bag for anything that looked like an essay. As you flipped through your file, you saw something stapled and took it out. “Yes, this is the one. Big Questions.” You sighed in relief, knowing you did complete the essay.

“No one likes this module. It’s such a crappy compulsory mod.” You complained. Having lived in the future, you can say that this mod did not help you in any way the professor said it would.

While waiting for the professor to arrive, you took out your iPad and laptop as you asked Camellia if there were any other works that needed to be submitted for other mods. You’re used to having a to-do list, but you often start at different applications as you were never satisfied with how they function. You tried writing it down on paper before, but you just couldn’t stand how your handwriting looked.

“Since when have the roles been reversed?” Diana, who was sitting next to Camellia, spoke. “It’s always Camellia who is the one who asks such questions.”

You laughed along with them. “I just have a bit of a brain fog.” You compared your notes and updated your calendar with her in time before Professor Eric arrived.

===

Natasha knew she pushed you too far when she left you alone in the living room, but she was too stubborn to head down to apologise. Instead, she cried in her sleep as she waited for your movement. She knew things were different between them; she always noticed a change in people’s feelings and motives faster than most. So when you began to head to bed earlier than usual and sleep facing away from her, she knew something was wrong immediately. At first, she thought your work was draining you since you had been coming home late, but it dragged on longer than she had experienced. You also didn’t call to complain or ask her to help bail you out of situations you didn’t want to be in.

During the twins’ party, Steve tried to talk to her about what he was sensing between the two of you. He was pragmatic, perhaps a bit too much. He suggested that if the both of you fell out of feelings for each other, she should get a divorce instead of pulling everyone along. Natasha didn’t accept it, but neither did she reject it.

She knows she tends to keep it all in, which is why she treasures this marriage so much. You were the only one who stuck with her for a long time, that her friends and family approved of. You bring out the softer side of her even though she had pushed you aside and been mean in order for you to go away. She wanted her brick wall to remain strong, but you had taken out enough to squeeze in and put some back. And this time, your leaving has left a bigger hole that was easier to fill up.

She knew you didn’t sleep in the same bed that night, so she rolled over freely. But to her surprise, she landed on the floor instead of your space in bed. Looking closely at the bed and her surroundings, she realised she was in her parent’s house. Did her parents bring her here when she was emotionally affected? There was no way she couldn’t remember a single thing. Even when she was black-out drunk, which is rare, she’d never forget bits and pieces of the night.

“Hey! Why are you still here? I thought you had morning class?” Yelena burst into her room and questioned her.

Natasha looked at her, confused. “What class? I finished my studies long ago. Instead, shouldn’t you be at work?” Knowing she was going to drink at the party, she took the next day off to sleep in. Nat stood up from the floor and went to the bathroom to freshen up after being rudely woken up.

“Did you finally drink too much or knock your head somewhere? You’re still in school, idiot!” She insulted her sister and yelled at her mother that her sister had finally gone insane. Back in the bathroom, Natasha found herself staring into her reflection. This has to be a joke. She really went back in time? “Oh god… Mom! Natasha really went crazy!”

Once her sister ran out, she immediately went to shut and lock the door. This was not a prank; her sister looked like how she was 10 years ago. There’s no way anyone could have faked that, and certainly not her sister herself. Was this a dream? It’s way too real to be a dream. Remembering what Yelena said, she had a morning class to attend and immediately packed her bag according to the timetable on her table.

“Natasha, what’s going on?” Melina knocked on the door to ask her daughter.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I’m going to school, not coming back for dinner.” She said as she swiftly made her way out.

“Something’s definitely wrong with her. She’s gone crazy after studying too much. She should learn how to relax.” Yelena said, and Melina took it in without saying a word.

When Natasha arrived at school, she immediately went to find Clint, and he looked at how he was 10 years ago. The prank couldn’t have been this extensive. She squeezed her eyes, taking in that somehow this was real, and she was stuck here until she found a way out.

“Hey, Nat!” She opened her eyes to see Clint waving at her and Maria beside him talking to someone else.

“How is it going?” She asked both of them as she sat down. Only Clint and Maria were in Law with her. Steve and Bucky in Economics. Tony, Bruce and Vision in the Information System. Wanda and Sam in Social Science. Thor in Business. Even though all of them were in different faculties, some modules overlapped, so they could meet or discuss over their group chat. They were one of the rare few who could maintain such a big group.

“Nothing much. You haven’t told me, are you going to the party?” Clint said.

“What party?”

“The party that Fredrick is hosting! I told you this last week, Nat! You said you would let me know.” Clint raised his voice slightly. Not that it matters anyway. Fredrick was a popular kid; almost everyone knew he hosted the parties before the exam season. Those who don’t are nerds.

“Yeah… I guess I’ll go.” She nodded. She vaguely remembered this when Clint asked her originally. She didn’t go because she wanted to catch up on her studies. But, now, with all the experience in her bag, she isn’t afraid that she’ll do poorly in her exams.

“Great! Finally, the whole group is going to be there!” He took out his phone and started texting the group, and soon everyone started blowing up her phone. Throughout the entire three-hour class, she was hardly listening to her professor talking but rather thinking about her situation.

Was this a blessing or a curse? She is given a chance to restart. With her memories, she can choose a new path she didn’t take because of you. If she were to go back, you would just continue hating her, but why does she feel bad for wanting to stay here?

“Do you know where Y/N is now?” She asked Clint once the class ended.

“Y/N? Why do you want to know that?” Maria asked. While you have been talking to Natasha at this point, the two of you weren’t that close yet.

“I just need to know. I have something I want to ask her.”

“She’s in the Accounting building. Good luck knowing which exit she’s going.” Clint replied, ignoring what Maria said and started pushing her out in order to beat the lunch crowd. The latter shrugged off her friend even though they were close. There was no need for such touching, in her opinion.

Natasha took her chance and waited at the exit underground, knowing you were the type to head straight home after class. She waited and waited, but she didn’t manage to catch you at all. Eventually, she gave up and went to find Clint to raid his food instead.

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@leenasayeed @oh-thats-sad @skz-xii @gay-frogs-dancing-around

@justspance

#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha x you #my writing #black widow 2021 #natasha romanoff fanfiction #second chance

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knavesflames · 7 months ago

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“Promise”

Just a little thing about Clervie and Arlecchino that lowkey apart my heart thinking about it. Again, very sorry if this is not good!! Am new to writing things down other than in my notes sooo bear with me as I get better pls 😩

Contents: angst, the tiniest mention of self harm. It isn’t graphic, it is mentioned in passing only once, and very vaguely, but thought I’d put a TW anyway🥰

Word count: 2453

Writing under the cut!!:D

At age 9,

Peruere sits in the garden, holding the small box. The lid is open as she places a small lumidouce bell next to the spider. The lumidouce bell will die and wilt underground, but at least the spider won’t be lonely, she thinks.

“Peruere!”

The loud childish voices rings out in the garden once again. A sigh leaves Peruere’s lips. She isn’t in the mood to talk to the person she secretly calls sunshine. Looking down at the splayed out body of her pet spider, her lip quivers. Once, twice, before a tear falls onto the wood of the makeshift coffin. The dread rising in her as she sees her hands changing doesn’t go unnoticed, but she pushes it down. ‘What is that? Why am I changing?’

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sunshine once again, the voice now muffled with chewing.

“I brought cake. Want some?”

Peruere’s now charcoal hands take the cake, pausing as the sunshine (or Clervie, but Peruere prefers sunshine) takes it from her hands and places it on a leaf in front of the small grave.

“You must know spiders don’t eat cake.”

“Yeah, I know! They can’t eat cake here, but in spider world they can.”

Her voice is almost irritating to Peruere, who is only trying to be angsty and sad. But how can she be sad when the sunshine is right there?

“Clervie, I want to sit in silence.”

Clervie can’t help her eyebrows furrowing before she sits down with a small thud.

“I’ll sit with you, then.”

Peruere sighs as her eyes, eyes that are unlike any others in the house of the hearth, glance towards the sunshine. She doesn’t persist. Secretly, she’s glad for the company. Clervie smiles back as she plays with the small patch of lumidouce bells.

“I don’t care that you’re different. I think you’re cool.”

Her eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowing before she responds.

“Why? I’m completely different from you.”

“I like that. Even our teddies are different. I think everyone being the same is boring. They won’t be the king because they are all the same. You will be king one day, Peruere. Can I sit with you when you are?”

Peruere feels just a small amount of dread at those words. The words that remind her that one day, she indeed, will have to do what Mother says and fight to be king. Something is off about Mother, she thinks. She is too kind, too caring. She doesn’t like it. Not just because she doesn’t deserve it (that’s what she tells herself in the mirror before she sleeps), but because Clervie, the sunshine, is falling for it. In that moment, she makes a silent vow to protect the sunshine always, even if it is cloudy.

“We can be king together.”

“Do you promise? I don’t want to be left behind.”

“I promise.”

At age 11,

Peruere and Clervie, the sunshine and the moon, sit in a deserted part of the house of the hearth. Their favourite part is the room with the wide window, where they sit and stare at the sky, talking about their dreams. Or rather, Clervie talks, Peruere listens. Though this time, the roles seem to be reversed. Next to them, a tray of medical instruments. Scissors, bandages, gauze, disinfectant. Peruere sits, her blackened, gentle but clumsy hands tying a bow on one of the bandages. The look on Clervie, I mean, the sunshine’s, face was much brighter than ten minutes ago. This is the first of many times, unbeknownst to them. Peruere speaks softly.

“What happened? Your wrists looked like they got hurt.”

“Nothing, Peruere.”

Alarm bells ring in Peruere’s head. Clervie was never this closed off, not with her.

“Did you do this to yourself? Like Céline? She got upset at herself so she hurt herself. I don’t like that, tell me you didn’t do that. It’s dangerous, Clervie.”

Her eyes, shining black, filled with worry. Her hand grabs the sunshine’s, giving it a little squeeze, encouraging her to talk.

“No, that isn’t it. I argued. With Mother. I don’t want to fight everyone to be king. I want to be friends with everyone, I want to eat bulle fruit with everyone. Why do we have to fight?”

“I do not like it either. I want to run away sometimes. Do Mothers always argue with their daughters?”

“I don’t know.”

Clervie’s hands, still trembling from the adrenaline, push open the window. They stare at the stars for a while, before her voice rings out once more, soft, quiet, always optimistic.

“I heard that in Snezhnaya, coloured lights dance in the sky at night. When we grow up, shall we go see it together?”

Peruere wonders if they’ll ever go and see it, or if it’s just another empty promise. Just like how Mother promised her spider wouldn’t die, how the fish she caught wouldn’t be eaten.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

At age 13,

The sun shines. Both the actual sun, and Clervie, Peruere thinks. Her fingers are splayed out on the picnic blanket, the wet paint on her nails shining in the light when her fingers twitch. Painted black, like her skin on her arms, and red, the colour of the lipstick they stole from Mother a few weeks ago, the colour of Clervie’s hair. She makes a noise of satisfaction, secretly looking at Clervie through her fingers. It looks like she’s looking through prison bars, she thinks. But Clervie is the sun. If anyone should be in prison, it’s her, not Clervie. She doesn’t like the way she thinks about Mother, but Mother harms the sunshine. Her sunshine. Her eyes widen, just slightly as she realises that maybe feeling so warm and fuzzy inside whenever she sees Clervie isn’t exactly a usual way to think of people. She doesn’t feel that for anyone else. She stares a bit longer. How the red of Clervie’s hair reminds her of the burning sun. Of the fire in the lounge of the house of the hearth. Fire is good, she thinks. She could protect her sunshine with fire. In a split decision, she takes the red nail polish in one hand, a strand of her white hair in the other. Snow and blood. Blood on snow. Those colours seem to be awfully present in her life as of late, and her heart begins to twist as she thinks of what it means for her future. Before she can think any harder, Clervie’s giggle cuts through her thoughts.

“What are you doing, silly?”

Red paints on the snow coloured hair.

“I’m like you now. I have red hair. That way, we will stay friends forever.”

“I like you too much to leave you, silly. It looks good with your hair. The red. You should paint it every day, and that way, you can—“

Words are cut off by clumsy lips meeting clumsy lips. Only for a second, a second that feels forever. Peruere’s cheeks flush the colour of the painted strand as she mumbles apologetic words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I-“

“It’s okay. I liked it. I want to do it more. You should still keep the red strand. Promise you will?”

“Yes, I promise.”

At age 16,

Mother has been increasingly cruel, to both her and Clervie. Especially to Clervie. How could someone be so evil to someone so kind is something Peruere cannot fathom. She despises seeing Clervie cry, to hear her quiet sobs at night. Her eyes are always bright, always happy. If not for her own sake, for Peruere’s. But the sun has been hiding lately, hiding behind clouds and avoiding words. The red strand of Peruere’s hair, once painted every day with nail polish to match Clervie’s, now permanently dyed, retouched every eight weeks, hidden under most of her hair to avoid Mother’s wrath. And now? They stand in the field, Clervie, facing Peruere with resigned eyes.

“You know it’s the only way. Mother will kill us both if you are not king. Have you not noticed the children disappearing?”

“I have. It does not mean your life has to end. You cannot take your life—“

“No. That will not satisfy Mother, and you know that. You must do it.”

Hate, fear, dread and sadness twist Peruere’s gut so hard she feels as if she will throw up. She fight the urge to retch at the very suggestion that she dulls the sunshine she has grown to adore so.

“I cannot. I will not. You cannot ask me to do something like that.”

“You must.”

She hates that Clervie is right. She hates that Mother is so twisted and sick that this is the only choice. She begs anyway, something she told herself she would never do.

“Please. We were supposed to go to Snezhnaya together. To see the coloured lights in the sky. There is no ‘we’ without you.”

A chuckle is heard, the familiar chuckle that lights up Peruere’s heart, the chuckle that feels like it’ll reverse her curse entirely. She can’t deny the sadness she hears in it though, especially not when she sees a tear slip down Clervie’s face. The sight brings tears to her own eyes and she looks away, unable to stare at her any longer. The longer she stares, the harder it will be. She knows this, but her eyes move back to her anyway.

“You will look at the coloured lights, and you can trust I will be there in them.”

“No! This is not fair.”

“You know I’m right, Peruere.”

“And I hate that you are. You’re always damn right. Stop that.”

Another chuckle is heard behind tears.

“I plan to.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you have to do this.”

Peruere feels like her breath is being sucked out of her, like she can’t inhale enough and yet, exhaling is impossible. Her brain is telling her she has to. She has to give the sunshine a merciful end, lest Mother give her a far worse fate. But her heart is screaming. Tears drip down her face, her body wracked with silent cries. Her hand goes to the hilt of the dagger she always carries.

“But I love you. You are my sunshine.”

“I love you, too. And so I will always be here when the sun is shining. I am not afraid.”

“I am.”

Peruere is not one to be scared. She never has. But now, her hands are clammy, she feels a sweat gathering. She feels her heart thumping in a completely different way than when they share small kisses and giggles. She feels like she’s killing herself instead of her love. The dagger is unsheathed now, the blade glinting with every tremble of her hand. Oh, God, there it is again. That smile, the one that melts Peruere every time. Images flash in her mind of every time she bandages Clervie after an argument with Mother. Images of what could happen should Mother take Clervie’s life into her own hands, and before she can think twice, the dagger has pierced her skin. Clervie’s clothes are staining with blood as red as her hair.

“No. No, no— please. Clervie, you can’t. Why did you tell me to do this?”

Red ‘X’ irises stare into blue ones. A beautiful bluey green, one that Peruere has always admired. Has always adored looking into. Not now. Not while she watches the life drain from her eyes. Watching the sun burn.

“You will make a great king.”

“Stop that.”

Anger boils inside Peruere, anger like she has never felt before. She swears she will kill anyone who threatens to hurt the ones she cares about. She won’t let this happen again.

“I’m sorry. Thank you.”

Clervie’s soft words fill her ears for the final time before her body drops to the floor with a thunk. Peruere stares down at her, anger filling her so greatly, she becomes blank. She decides she will never feel again. She will never love again. The sun was a star, but the sun has burned and died.

“Do you promise you will be with me in Snezhnaya? Promise?”

“..Clervie?”

She is met with only silence, and the sound of the lumidouce bells waving in the wind.

At age 28,

Arlecchino walks through the halls of the House of the Hearth, watching stoically as the children play, as they watch the two children perform their magic show. She calls out, her voice strict, unfeeling.

“Meet in the dining hall when you are finished. Dinner is served shortly.”

Met with a chorus of “Yes Father”, she nods, satisfied, before turning away. Her heels click against the tiled floor as she walks through the halls, her hair flowing in her ponytail behind her. She takes the long route, avoiding the west wing of bedrooms, something she has avoided for many years. Her footfalls come to a stop as the sun hits her as it shines through the window. She feels a tug at her heart, and she clenches her fists tightly before sighing, turning quickly on her heel. She walks with purpose, walking past the many bedrooms until she slows, coming to a stop in front of the bedroom door she has kept locked. The ring of keys in her pocket makes a sound as she pulls them out, and she listens to the way they jingle as she unlocks the door and slips inside. She blinks back heartache as she stares around at the room. It has been well preserved, it looks like it’s still very much lived in by a sixteen year old girl. She goes about, dusting the surfaces in silence, cleaning up any signs that it hasn’t been touched in such a long time. She opens the window, watering the lumidouce bells that sit on the windowsill outside. She stops by the bed, where two teddies sit— one pink with a white ribbon, one black and white with red ‘X’s for eyes. Her hand, now black with darker patterns all over from how far the curse has advanced, softly pets the pink one, swallowing down a shaky breath. Her nails, painted red and black, like they always have been, gives a gentle scratch under the chin.

“Good morning, Clervie. The children are doing well today.”

Her hand slides into her pocket, pulling out a small, gift wrapped box, placing it by the teddy.

“Happy birthday. I told you I would not forget. The sun is shining brightly, and the colours in the sky at night have been vivid lately. You would have found them beautiful, I am sure. I would have loved to look at you as you stared at them in wonder.”

The birthday gift joins another 11 on the bed, each one in different phases of aging. She stands again, smoothing down the bedsheets before placing a small kiss on the pink teddy.

“See you next year, Clervie. I promise.”

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