#the rest of the siblings are bad with both theirs and others'

[farshootergotme]

I'll be putting the legally adopted + Damian and Alfred only because the list will be too long otherwise.

[astrolook]

🔥💪 Mars As Darakaraka - Lover, Fighter or Probably Both💪🔥

Note: These are just my personal observations and recurring patterns I've noticed over the years from married clients, relatives and friends. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Feel free to share in the comments if any of this hits home. This post is based on Vedic astrology.

Mars as Darakaraka - Lover with a plan Your spouse will be bold, headstrong, and fiercely independent. They’re action-oriented and won’t wait around for help, they’ll do it themselves, even if it bruises their ego. Expect quick tempers in fire signs, silent treatment in earth signs, and emotional outbursts or guilt-tripping in water signs. They like things done their way and any deviation from the plan? Cue the irritation. Often tanned or sun-kissed, they love being outdoors. Think horse riding, biking, or just actively doing things around the house. They're not the type to sit still, and laziness genuinely annoys them. Prone to get injuries and vehicle accidents.

Emotional Expression:

Fire signs: Can be physically expressive sometimes breaking things or, in worst cases (esp. with Saturn), showing anger through physical abuse.

Water signs: Emotional manipulation, tears for attention, mood swings.

Earth signs: Calm exterior, silent treatment masters. You may never know when they’re mad... until it’s too late.

When they're down, they can become unpredictable, hot and cold, distant one day, intense the next. In a good mood, though? Total fun. Never boring, always on the go.

Professions: STEM fields, military, law enforcement, sports, tourism, digital creators (YouTubers/podcasters), manufacturing, any field that needs drive, risk-taking, or hustle.

☀️ Mars + Sun: Bold, blunt, no BS. Can come off rude, doesn’t tolerate drama. Highly-educated.

🪐 Mars + Saturn: Age difference possible or mature than you and teach you things, either a mentor or emotionally manipulative depending on signs and house placement. If Saturn is retrograde, they may sulk when upset and find it hard to say no. Often exploited by others. Significant age gap.

🧠 Mars + Mercury: Sharp wit, cutting words. If Mercury is Rx, brutal comebacks, sarcastic bombs, dormant-volcano vibes.

💘 Mars + Venus: Sky-high chemistry and libido. Can indicate extramarital affairs if placed in 6th, 8th, or 12th houses.

🌍 Mars + Jupiter: Foreign spouse likely, especially if in Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces, or houses 7, 9, 11, 12. If Jupiter is Rx, you might move in to their hometown and settle down with them.

House Placements:

1st: Obsessed with you (for good or bad) and your goals. Ride-or-die energy. Can be nosey at times like checking your phone or calling you 5 times a day.

2nd: Makes money, spends it faster. Budget? What's that?

3rd: Possible sibling tension (yours or theirs). Either best friends or beef.

4th: Clashes with family or feels unwelcome at home.

5th: Unplanned pregnancy, in some cases. Romantic chaos included.

6th: Both partners working, time management and compromise are keys.

7th: Young at heart. Their moods mirror yours. Big impact on your public life.

8th: Seductive. Uses charm to win fights. Heated arguments = steamy makeup sessions.

9th: Opinionated. Preaches unsolicited wisdom.

10th: Career-driven. May see you as the trophy. Big spender on lifestyle.

11th: Social butterfly. Has 20 friend groups and rotates through them like wardrobe.

12th: Calm on the outside, storm inside. When they blow up? Run. Holds grudges long after "forgiving."

Next Post will be about Jupiter as Darakaraka!

Wanna dive deeper into your chart's layers? ✨🔍 DM me for a full astrology reading, a 5 or 8-year marriage report, or a detailed synastry breakdown 🌙💬 Check out my pinned post for pricing and more info 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐💖

[lsunstreakerl]

Oh my god I want to hug them so bad and wrap them in blankets it‘s unreal 😭.

Compilation of my favourite moments in no particular order:

Max basically saying „I don‘t care if Alex moves in, just don‘t fuck next to me“

Christians unprofessional behaviour (wanting to comfort a teenager)

Christians and Totos reaction to the fact that Max still has the Duct Tape BootsTM

Christian trying to not freak out (and kinda failing) when he realizes that Max is related to Jos and is possibly without any type of legal care taker.

Max teasing George about his crush/more-than-friends-feelings for Alex

Max and George being so siblings its killing me fr. They hate each other sometimes but they hold each other so dear I‘m gonna cry

Helping each other with the contracts for driving and sponsors. I can just see them sitting across at a kitchen table and going ham on the clauses.

Max getting a haircut from Pascale

The tiny gax smau post made me think about the possibility that they might be doing the cuddle thing when one of them is feeling like garbage.

Imagine Alex, still at RBR, not doing well in a race and Max texting George to come to Alex' driver room. RBR mechanics being very confused for a second because thats one one of theirs, but then they recognize George and let him be because they know he‘s probably here for Max. Eventually one of them opens the door to Alex' driver room because they haven't opened the door in a few hours and finding them on the floor because the couch isn't big enough for all three of them.

Sorry if it’s long, the brain worms have infected me <3

tiny max is a menace and relentlessly teases george about the way he looks at alex like he hung the stars in the sky. (until they get together and he's like "oh please god go back to how you were before I can't stand it")

christian experiences one (1) emotion that isn't ruthlessness or victory or cutthroat viciousness and immediately decides he just has to die. no other option. why is this wet mop of a child making him feel squishy things where is franz—

christian handles the unwelcome squishy emotions by making them toto's problem also. toto hates it equally as much, and then they find out there's more wet mop children.

baby bull child is bad enough to give christian hives, but finding out said baby bull child doesn't have an adult sends him into anaphylactic shock. a fever dream. a manic episode. he wakes up and realizes he's successfully pitched the idea of a clothing brand to Red Bull.

george is so pathetically obvious and alex is so pathetically oblivious... how could he not make fun of them.

they would take a bullet for each other, but they'd spend the rest of their lives teasing the other for almost getting shot.

contract renewal or new contracts is a whole event in their place. papers all over the kitchen and the living room, constantly going through highlighters, thinking out loud to each other all the time. george works under the table at a local bookshop that lets him use their printer to get all the contracts in physical media, and they let him take highlighters home too! before he got that job, he and max were going to the local library and printing them out in 20 paper chunks at a time to avoid getting in trouble, and it took forever.

pascale saw them get more scruffy with each race and eventually just couldn't take it anymore. the irony of george not eating his sandwich and instead lying to max and giving it to him later, is that if they'd just said that they were hungry, the leclerc's would've fed them both :( but they don't know any better, and the leclerc's still think there's an adult around. (an incredibly absent adult, sure, but they're certainly not thinking that max and george are alone.)

they absolutely still do the cuddle thing when they don't feel well. or when they're stressed, or overwhelmed, or really anything out of the norm! it's a comfort thing. the smau post is when their flight had been delayed, and while everyone else is trying to get comfy on airport chairs, the three of them have slept through worse, and they're very experienced at what's comfortable for them. (because when you've been sharing a bed and a bedroom for as long as they had, it's muscle memory.) it's also kind of nostalgic for them, because at this point they're in a two bedroom place (max and charles aren't together yet), and while max has no issues occasionally invading their bed when he wants comfort, it's not every night like it used to be.

They've also been known to catch power naps during race weekends in weird spots when there's a delay :)

[ghostwritermia]

Pairing ~ Remus Lupin x blacksister!reader (slytherin reader)

Word Count ~ 988

Summary ~ With a haunted mind you look for solace in books, when you really needed it from your boyfriend, and he happily gave it to you

Warnings ~ Beginner level writing, angst, mentions of evil Walburga and Orion (they can literally just leave), Remus being a sweetheart, unedited

Note From Mia ~ Second time writing on here....I hope you like it, but I understand if not lmao

You had always been more on the reserved side. Where Sirius had chosen to leave the tortures from 12 Grimmauld Place behind him when the Black Siblings returned to school, you and Regulus had been the opposite.

You couldn’t forget. It wasn’t possible. The horrors you always faced at home haunted you every night, leading into early in the mornings, leaving you restless the rest of the day. The only peace you got was when you could sneak off into the library to bury your nose in whatever book you had your hands on. Whether that was a reread or a completely new genre, it didn’t matter. It was an escape.

So, that is exactly what you were doing now. You had been curled up in an armchair in a secluded corner of the library, reading, for almost an hour now. No distractions. Mind blank. Peace finally washing over you.

Letting out a soft sigh, you flipped the page, getting ready to read another chapter when a shadow loomed over you.

“Hello, Dove,” Remus whispered from above you. “Having a bad day?”

You and Remus had met in the Library on a rainy afternoon, and just sat together in silence while reading. Over time you had started small talk, and that led to conversations, which then led into a friendship, turned secret relationship.

It’s not that you wanted it to stay a secret, however, Remus and you were both scared of backlash from Sirius, and you were terrified of your parents; therefore, they could never find out.

Remus notices that you’re too far, too deep into your book to notice him. To pull you back into the present, he carefully rests a hand on your thigh and rubs gently, coaxing you back into the real world.

You flinch slightly at the contact before looking up to see your boyfriend. “Oh, Rem, hi. How long have you been there?” You ask, shutting your book to give him your undivided attention.

Remus ignores you, smiling gently, not sympathetically though, because he knows by now that you won’t accept it. “What do you need from me, Dovy? To talk?” He’s more than aware that you are not actually going to open up right now, he can see it in your eyes from a mile away.

“Can you just hold me?” You whisper, your words laced with vulnerability. 

Remus’s eyes soften before he shuffles you around, sliding onto the chair behind you, and situating you onto his lap. He doesn’t say anything. He just holds you, gently stroking your hair, occasionally leaving a kiss to the crown of your head. 

When he thinks you're almost asleep, you speak again, “Nothing ever lasts forever, Rem.”

“I know, love. What are you referring to?” He asks, dread filtering into his mind. The lycanthrope has a love-hate relationship with your deep thoughts. Some bring on deep meaningful conversations, whereas others are filled with unnecessary insecurity and doubts.

“Us,” You mutter the exact words that he was dreading.

“No.” Remus says sternly, a tone you rarely hear him use. “I will always love you,” He turns you so you’re sitting sideways in his lap, him making direct eye contact with you, making sure that you hold it. “We’re not doing this, you need to get rid of whatever negative ghosts that are haunting your mind, because we are not breaking up. If I need to help chase those ghosts away, then so be it, but you cannot let them dictate our relationship. Ours, not theirs.”

You nod, burying your head into his neck, breathing in the calming scent of cocoa and old books, mixed with a hint of pine. 

“I want to hear you say it,” He whispers, nudging you with his shoulder.

You lift your head from the crook of his neck and smile weakly. “Ours, not the ghosts.”

“Exactly right, Dove.”

Remus leans in and gently presses his lips to yours, and you reciprocate before he leans back, pulling you into his chest. “I love you,” He whispers, again, knowing you needed reassurance. “And I always will.” 

You nod, “I love you, forever and always.” It comes out in a whisper, but Remus hears it anyway and presses his forehead against yours, but not before pressing a kiss to your nose.

He slowly reaches up and presses the pads of his thumbs where he knows your dimples are and where he knows they should be right now. “Can you smile for me, Love?”

And you do. Because you love him, more than you thought you were ever capable of. You smile crookedly, showing Remus that it is indeed a true smile, and he leaves a kiss on both dimples before pulling away and smiling back at you.

You bring your own thumbs to his face, rubbing gently over the hundreds of freckles scattered along his face.

He kisses you gently once more before grabbing your book, “Now, what were we reading before I interrupted?” He questions teasingly. 

“Well, I was reading that,” You admit sheepishly, pulling out a quill and ink container from your bag.

“The Wonderful Wizard of Oz?” Remus raises a teasing brow.

“Oh hush,” You shove his shoulder. “I was in the mood for something different and it was in the muggle book section. It seemed interesting.” 

“No judgment from me then, Dove.” He whispers, opening the book at your marked spot.

And that is exactly how you and Remus spend the rest of your day. Him reading to you, and you drawing thin vines, small flowers, and a variety of constellations on his various scars while you listen to his soothing voice tell the story of a girl with a dog that somehow got sucked into a tornado and transported into the world of Oz. It didn’t make sense to you, but Remus was reading it, and that was all that seemed to matter to you at that very moment.

[sserajeans]

mine

kim minji x fem! reader

synopsis: you both knew love came with downhills, but neither of you thought it'd get that bad. you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, and she's the best thing you could ever call 'mine'.

genre + others: non-idol reader x idol minji, goes over the ups and downs of their relationship, semi angst but fluff end TRUST ME

notes: (TW: implied suicide of minor character) , y/n has been through so much pls give her a break, idk if either of them were toxic, but they work around it bc love >>>, not requested, i was just listening to the album and got an idea that made my soul go WHOOSH hehe, THIS IS A VERY LONG ONE

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

you were in college, working part-time, waiting tables. left a small town, never looked back. i was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin', wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts.

you and minji were your friend group's favorite couple. almost anyone would agree, actually.

you met in high school when you transferred from a smaller, almost unknown town under a merit scholarship sponsored by the school. you were your family's pride and joy, the eldest daughter and older sister to two siblings. your parents weren't born with the same comfort they provided you and your siblings, or any comfort at all. it took a lot of work for them to get to where they were, and even then they still work day and night to give a life better than theirs for their children.

being born first, you witnessed everything. the blood, sweat, and tears your parents poured into everything; their failed start-up business, their multiple part-time jobs, and the low-paying wages they'd get in return. but above all this, you also saw how your parents did it all for love. love for you, love for their kids, love for the family they made. and so you swore, as an adorable 8-year-old, that you'd work your hardest and earn enough money to get your parents to rest comfortably once they were of age. you were raised in a struggling house, but a loving home. you knew love. you weren't a stranger to it. you loved love and the power it held.

minji, on the other hand, didn't. when you met her in your first year of high school, her parents had just signed divorce papers after her dad caught her mother cheating. she was only 16 at the time, and her parents were her role models of love. to her, they represented what love would, could, and should be. she believed in love, until she grew to hate it. she hated the way it hurt her father, she hated the way it hurt her, but most of all she hated the way it pulled her mother away from her. minji knew love. she wasn't a stranger to it. but she hated love and the power it held.

because of the stark difference you two had with your outlooks on love, it was a shock to everyone when the kim minji agreed to not just being your prom date, but to you courting her during your junior year of high school as well. 

“kim minji is this really you?” her best friend at the time, seol yoona, waved her hand in front of the raven-haired girl’s face. she was trying to finish an essay in english, one of their final requirements for the semester. “what’s different about park y/n?”

minji sighed and closed her notebook, finally facing the rest of her friends who sat crowded around her.

“look. she was nice to me at prom and she’s…” her friends’ eyes widened in anticipation. “cute, i guess.”

“oh come on minji that can’t be just it…”

“yeah you rejected like a quarter of the student population! i’m sure there were a few nice and cute ones!”

“they all…” minji started as she stood up from her desk and began packing her things in her backpack. “i’m just more comfortable with her, okay? we’ve been friends a while, and she’s patient about everything right now because she knows about…”

the rest of the table nodded their heads in understanding. there was no need for her to expound on that. 

meanwhile, in the complete opposite side of the school campus, was where you and your two closest friends ate lunch. under the shade of the courtyard’s largest tree.

"you're fucking playing with me..."

"i'm not! she said yes! she really did!" you exclaimed, mouth full of the school's spam and kimchi kimbap. 

"you better not mess this up y/n... you're like the first person i know of that she's ever said yes to." your other friend commented, playfully shoving your upper arm.

"do you guys not have like... the teeny-tiniest bit of faith in me?" 

they looked at you for a solid minute before nodding and shrugging. jokes aside, you were a selfless and caring person, and every one that has ever gotten to know you was sure of that.

and fair enough, by your first year of college which was also minji's first year as newjeans' leader, after almost 2 years of courting her, you asked her to have things official, and she said yes.

do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine.

it had been just over a year since you two started officially dating, and nothing much changed since you put a label on it. you were now in your second year of university, simultaneously maintaining a part-time job at a local restaurant. 

it didn’t take an idiot to know that dating an idol was hard. and it also didn’t help that your schedule wasn’t the most flexible either. there were even some days where minji had more time in the week to spend than you did. the both of you hated that, and it frustrated you two to the point where there were times you’d take it out on each other.so when you and minji had your first big argument, it was a shock to none of the peers who knew of your relationship.

you sighed deeply as you unlocked the door to your apartment. it was the middle of midterms week, and you had just finished an evening shift. you didn’t even want to think about studying for your calculus exam tomorrow, but you knew you had to if you wanted to keep your gpa up to the scholarship’s requirements.

“park y/n.” minji’s voice interrupted your brain’s train of thought. you were so busy trying to figure out the most efficient way to spend the rest of the time between the present and your exam. 

usually, minji’s voice calling your name would be warm and sweet. you talked about it to your friends one time, describing it as melted chocolate, and she gagged at how cheesy you were being. but god forbid you speak the truth.

but now, her voice was neither warm nor sweet. it was cold. it was cold and sharp. if you had the time to process it you’d probably describe it as ice shards, rather than melted chocolate.

you hesitated to face her, because you knew exactly why she was here in your apartment at 11pm in the evening instead of her dorms, fast asleep. you couldn't count how many times you cancelled a date last minute within the last month, and minji was tired of you not explaining properly.

you heard her stand up from the living room couch and walk towards you in the dining table. 

“what is it, minji?” you spoke, leaning your forehead against your palm as you brought out school textbooks and worksheets.

“what do you mean ‘what is it, minji’? you know why i’m here, y/n.” 

she wasn’t lying. again, you knew why she was here with you, which is why you dreaded the conversation that was about to come.

“this is the 4th date you’ve cancelled this month without telling me why. if you wanted to break up i’d much rather you tell me directly…” the last sentence felt like a stab to your chest. the cold and sharp dagger that was her words, taking one large hit.

“what the fuck? no, okay! no i don’t!”

“then for the love of god would you at least tell me why you’re being so fucking distant?!” 

you kept silent. eyes avoiding hers as you internally debated on whether you wanted to burden her with your struggles or not.

“see? you can’t even say it.”

“fucking hell. my sister is sick, minji.” 

you let out a shaky exhale as you spoke, finally gathering the courage to face her.

“she has pneumonia. she’s sick. she’s in the hospital. and i-“ you cut yourself off as tears made its way down your face. the cold exterior on minji’s face dropped almost immediately at the sound of your voice breaking. your breathing remained shaky as you tried your best to verbalize everything that has been piling up over the past few weeks.

“medical insurance isn’t enough to cover it. my parents are working endlessly, but they’re getting older and i don’t want them to overwork themselves or they could get sick too, so i asked if i could pick up more shifts at the restaurant because that’s really all i can do right now. it just breaks my heart whenever i visit her because she’s always telling me that she’s sorry for causing trouble when none of it was her fault. and fuck, as if it doesn’t get any worse it’s midterms week, and if i fail just one exam it’s enough to bring my gpa down for the school to drop me.”

you gasped for air.

the girl sat beside you and rubbed your back, reaching over for your water bottle and offering it to you. you muttered a thanks as you gulped down half of the water inside and gave yourself a few seconds to speak again.

“and i know what you’re thinking. ‘why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve helped.’ but minji please. you’re an idol. you’re a celebrity. fuck, you’re the leader of one of the biggest group’s right now. you have enough on your plate. i don’t want to add to that.”

minji nodded to show you she was listening despite not saying anything since you started letting it out.

"let's take a walk." 

you were shocked by the suggestion, and minji could tell. she would be too.

“but won’t people recogn-“

"more air to breathe, more space to think. come on." she got your coat for your and brought your most comfortable pair of shoes over.

you weren't agreeing, but you also weren't objecting the idea. from what could've been a fight to this, you were just glad you had the warm minji with you right now.

she dragged you along by the hand, just a few steps ahead of you. it didn't take too long until you two found yourselves sitting on the park bench facing a small river. it wasn't too far away, just a couple meters from your apartment building.

“can i ask you something, y/n?” there it was. the warmth, the sweetness in her voice. 

she turned to face you. “do i bother you when i tell you about my problems? when i talk to you about how i worry for haerin not opening up, or when i tell you about how hanni might’ve bothered me on a certain day. does that burden you?”

you looked up at her shaking your head, your eyes still red and puffy. 

“w-what? no. never. i like that you let me know. i like knowing you have some type of output for it."

"well if it doesn't burden you then what makes you think you'd burden me?"

you slowly looked away, eyes busy gazing the clear water and the rocks that laid under.

she moved to wrap her right arm over your shoulders, and slowly reached for your left hand to hold if you'd let her. after all, she didn't expect to be comforting you when she planned on seeing you.

"i may be an idol. i may be a celebrity. i may be newjeans' minji a lot of the time. but i'm also your girlfriend, park y/n. the one you met in high school whose life you changed forever the day you asked me to prom." you leaned against her when she pulled you closer as she spoke.

"i stopped believing in love when my parents split. remember when i told you that? but you were there every step of the way. you understood, and you were fine with waiting." minji took a pause to make sure you were still with her, listening. 

your eyes were heavy, but your brain couldn’t be more alive. 

“y/n, i don't want to be the person that makes their partner feel like they can't talk to them. let me be there for you too, okay? i may not be able to do a lot to fix it, but i'll be there because you shouldn't be facing things alone. not when you have me."

you nodded, letting out the last of your tears on her shoulder while she ran her fingers through your hair. 

“so next time, please, please tell me what bothers you.”

you never gave a clear response, just your sobs slowing down as she held you. minji would later on regret not noticing this.

a few minutes later, after you calmed down, you pulled away to finally fix your eyes on hers.

"thank you. and i still owe you an apology. for how i was the past couple of weeks.”

“you really don’t have to y/n.”

“well, you say that now after i told you. but what i did was still such… an ass move, and i should’ve told you what was going on because you deserved to know with the way it affected you too.”

minji gave you a smile. a small smile that held the largest emotions a human could ever feel. she leaned against your side, head on your left shoulder with her arm around your waist.

“it’s okay…”

“i love you.”

three words. eight letters. the first time it was ever said between the two of you. 

on the inside, you were a little shocked. if your relationship was a sports game, no one would bet on minji saying it first. but she did. and that just made those special words mean a little more than they already did.

you wrapped your left arm around her shoulders and rested your head on hers, giving the top of her head a kiss before saying it back.

“i love you too.”

flash forward and we’re taking on the world together. and there’s a drawer of my things at your place.

a couple months later, you felt on top of the world, and so did minji. you found a higher paying stay-at-home job, your sister got better miraculously quick, and your grades were stellar. for minji, newjeans had just released another hit mini album, and it was played everywhere you went. in the store, at the mall, on tiktok, on the radio. everywhere.

eventually, you two found a free spot on both of your schedules, and used it to have sleepovers at your apartment or her dorm. she’d always prefer staying at yours though. one of the few times you stayed at hers, the second you left, hanni and hyein were teasing her endlessly about… well, usual couple stuff.

this night was one of those sleepover nights. the two of you just finished dinner and were cuddling on the sofa, trying to decide on a movie to watch.

“mean girls?”

“didn’t we watch that last week?” minji reasoned out, looking at you with a questioning face.

“uhm… horror?”

“i don’t mind.”

you hummed and browsed through the horror collection your streaming site had. it took you a while to find a movie, you and minji each always had a minor problem with whatever came up.

“oh hey this one looks fun. zom-“

“did i ever tell you the full story of my parents?”

“ha?”

you looked at her with a rather surprised expression on your face. sure, she’s told you all about being a child of divorced parents and how it affected her. but you never bothered to ask more about it in fear of her discomfort.

“well… no. i wanted you to bring things up at your own pace.”

it felt like a silent agreement that maybe you two were going to drop the movie for a little “deep talk” moment.

“my dad went m.i.a., well, sort of did, on my mom.” she began, you sat cross-legged beside her, reaching for her hand to play with while she muttered a quick ‘thanks’. it was your little show of comfort. 

her parents was a subject that you two didn’t bring up very often. she’d mention them once in a while, like when you were preparing a dish that reminded her of her mom’s cooking, or when you came over to help fix hyein’s bike like her dad used to do for her. but it was never in the subject of the divorce. you two always had more to talk about when you were together anyways.

“he lost a lot of the money in their savings, and he’d never talk to my mom about it thinking he could cover it up soon enough. mom was convinced he was cheating and was sending money to another girl. even after my dad explained everything she just… went and did what she did. until he caught her and… well, you know the rest.”

minji was surprisingly calm throughout the whole storytelling. you figured it must’ve been from keeping it in for so long, finally letting the old wounds heal.

“wow…”

“yeah, ‘wow’.”

“i’m sorry, i just…” you paused and grabbed her other hand, holding them both closely within your palms. “do you think if your dad was honest from the beginning things would’ve been different?”

“i-… well…”

“nevermind, sorry that was int-“ you dropped her hands and ran yours through your hair, the other covering your mouth in disbelief.

“no no, it’s okay.” she reached for your hands and they were intertwined once again. “i think things would’ve turned out the same. it probably would’ve just… took a longer time.”

“i guess… since your mom practically ignored your dad after he explained…”

“yup. i believe things happen for a reason.”

“really? i’m 50/50 on that.” you looked up at her with a questioning look.

“well, for one, it led me to you.” she gazed in your eyes, her hands soft and gently cradling yours side to side. you looked at her with amazement. since when was she making the moves with all the cheesy lines?

“okay… so i’m not 50/50… maybe 70/30.” “dork.” “your dork?” “…” “sayyy it…” “…” “you know you wanna…”

“my dork.”

“hehehe…” 

with a victorious grin on your face, you pinched her right cheek, something she both hated and loved. rolling her eyes, she positioned herself to lay her head on your crossed legs while your hands automatically fixed her hair to keep her face clear.

“god you’re so-“

“lovable? i know… it’s crazy.”  

“well…”

“oh, we were serious?”

“yes, seriously, y/n. there are times i think about that night by the river.”

“that night by the river…”

“when i told you i believed in love again, after my parents. because of you.” she opened her eyes and looked up at you like you were a constellation in the night sky. eyes wide and full of wonder.

“i know what you’re talking about, i didn’t forget, don’t worry.” you smiled, tucking a strand of hair that went astray behind her ear.

“when things get hard i think of that night, and how… i don’t know. you know that feeling when something means so much, and it’s so good, feels so right, almost too perfect, you’re just scared it’ll slip away?”

“mmhm. of course. that’s how i felt about this book i was reading. things were going so well at the beginning, like it wa-… continue though.”

“sometimes i’m scared we’ll slip away.”

“what?!”

“i mean like! it’s just a tiny… irrational fear in the back of my head.”

“ell… good thing that won’t happen!”

“how are you always so sure about things?”

i tell my secrets and you figure out why i’m guarded. you say,

“i get why you’re worried, okay? but we’ll never make your parents’ mistakes.”

she sat up straight to give you a proper hug, or, well, she more or less just threw herself on you. not that you were complaining, you loved her bear hugs.

“you and i… we talk things out. we work well that way, right?”

“yeah.”

“i love you. and thank you for letting me love you.”

“i love you too. so so much.”

and we got bills to pay. we got nothing figured out, when it was hard to take, this is what i thought about. 

throughout your relationship, you two came across a couple, or well, several bumps along the road. but it was always something you two had dealt with before. even if it wasn’t, you were beginning to feel comfortable sharing the weight you carried on your shoulders with minji; talking about the usual late night shifts, a terror professor, etc.

communication was one of the last things your relationship with minji lacked.

until one fateful evening, you received a phone call from your brother. one you wished you never had to hear. one no one ever deserved to hear. 

before he spoke, something about it already felt wrong. the combination of muffled sirens, crying from who you surely knew was from your sister, and conversation between who you assumed were adults, was straight eery. a shiver ran down your spine, realizing the nature of the news.

and you were right. 

you could feel your hand shake as he spoke with a stutter,

“noona… it’s about… about d-dad… h-he… he… did it to hims-himself… he-he w-went out… and to-told us not to follow. a-and, and then we- we heard… we heard a r-really… r-really loud noise… n-noona… wh-when… when are you coming b-back?”

what?

who?

how?

your father. he shot himself in your neighborhood’s park.

and you’ve yet to understand why. why he’d choose to abandon his family. why he suddenly switched from the hardworking man who’d endure hell for his family, to a man who chose to escape his troubles.

after consoling your brother and the rest of your family on the phone, you packed your bags and took a taxi the next day. heading straight back to your hometown, a much smaller and rural area compared to the skyscraping city of seoul. 

you ran straight to your parents’ room as soon as you arrived, your bags dropped and forgotten by the conjoined living room and kitchen. there was no time to reminisce the warmth, comfort, and love that came with the childhood home you haven’t seen in years. 

as soon as you stepped foot in your parents’ room, your younger sister, who was much taller than the last time you saw her, ran straight into your arms, almost knocking you over. it didn’t take long for your younger brother to follow, his added weight finally pushing you to fall butt first to the fortunately, carpeted floor.

you rubbed their backs as soothingly as you possibly could while they started dampening your shirt with tears. in a way, having them in your embrace comforted you the same way you comforted them. you shed your own fair share of tears, hugging them even tighter when they’d take deep breaths and wail.

you also needed to process whatever the hell just happened.

a few minutes later, once your siblings had calmed down, you slowly stood up from the floor and approached your mother who was sorting out papers on what used to be your parents’ shared bed. the mattress dipped as you sat beside her. you wrapped your arms around her frame, giving her a warm hug. 

her pain was silent, and you wished it wasn’t so you’d at least know she had an output, but at the same time, you both knew she held it together for your siblings’ sake. she gave your forehead a kiss and ruffled your hair, muttering a soft “you’ve been eating well.” 

she was just happy to see her baby home.

the next couple of days were dull and grey. it was the only word you could use to describe it. your mother would head out to deal with government papers, your siblings stayed at home with modular work as permitted by the school after what had happened, and you picked up a small full-time job at a bakery as a cashier.

in a private conversation with your mother, late at night when your siblings were fast asleep, she explained to you the law of debt and inheritance in simple terms. it was difficult, but most definitely much needed for you to at least grasp understanding on why your father did what he did. 

“i know what your first thoughts were going to be. and he wasn’t being a selfish person, y/n. he never was and he never will be. in this province specifically, debt isn’t passed down to your heirs. your father… he… he borrowed a lot of money, y/n. and we thought we could pay it back over the agreed 3 years. it was taking longer than expected, and they began looking for your dad with threats that… i’d rather not share with you.”

“wait what? what about the money i’ve been sending? did it help? did you use it?”

“of course we did, y/n. we don’t want your hard work going to waste. we used it for yoonseo and junseo’s tuition. there was an increase that wasn’t in our… scope.”

“fucking school…”

“hey… listen. do you understand things a little better now?”

“…yes.”

“repeat to me what you understand.”

“dad… didn’t want them coming after me… us.”

“yes.”

“i… i don’t understand how you’re so… calm about it right now, ma. did you know? did he tell you he would?”

“he didn’t. we fought about it, actually. i couldn’t believe all that… nonsense he was saying.”

“oh… i’m sorry. i’m sorry i thought he-“

“it’s okay, y/n. and i know you. i know you, yoonseo, and junseo. it’s okay to not be okay right now. i want you to feel that. let it out. cry, scream, take a walk, do anything. let the pain pass through. i’ll be here to make sure you’ll be alright.”

“but we want to be here for you too ma…”

“you will be there for me when you feel better. but right now, you’re my children, and i’m your mom. i want to make sure you’re okay first.”

and for the rest of the night, you silently wept against your mother’s shoulder as she held you tight against her chest, the same way she did the day you were born. you were always your mother's child at the end of the day.

since the day you left til that night, your focus was on yourself and your family. comforting your siblings when your mom couldn’t, helping around the house, and searching for more jobs dirt-paying jobs you could take, for you didn’t care as long as it’d help fill the gap your father left.

your focus was solely on the grief held over yourself and your family, that somehow, you had completely forgotten about your life in the city.

the life with kim minji in it.

on her side of the world, minji was struggling. newjeans was still a popular and well-received group with global success, but their growth was exceeding expectations, and that meant that the hate wave had only gotten stronger.

as their leader, minji was the supporting pillar, the foundation of sanity for the rest of the girls. when one of them had the need to cry or rant, they’d go to her, and she’d hold that responsibility willingly out of love and care for them.

but newjeans’ leader minji, is human. 

newjeans’ leader minji, is kim minji. 

a 20-year-old girl facing the world’s backlash and carrying the weight of her members’ hurt alongside her own on her back.

she wasn’t meant to deal with all of that alone.

where was kim minji’s supporting pillar? where was her foundation of sanity? 

where were you?

where were you when she needed you the most?

and i remember that fight, 2:30 am, ‘cause everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street. 

things have calmed down a bit. you and your family decided it was best for you to go back to the city as it was where you’d earn the most for your work. you hated saying goodbye to them, especially at a time where it was best where you were all together. but you and your family didn’t have the luxury of choice. you and your family couldn’t afford to lose the opportunity.

on the 2-hour long taxi ride home, you finally decided to charge your phone. you hadn’t realized how you completely deserted it the moment you arrived at your childhood home. leaving it on the car seat, you decided to take a nap to get rid of the headache that was building up. whether it was from the anxiety of being away from your family after what happened, or the pressure of having your family’s financial support come mostly from you, you needed an escape, even if it was just for 2 hours.

you weren’t sure how or what you felt. you knew most would be sad. grief-struck and lost. and you did feel that in a way, when your family held a small ceremony at the memorial center because it was all you could afford. it was just you, your mom, your siblings, and a few neighbors who knew your parents.

that was the hardest you ever let yourself mourn, the loudest you ever let yourself cry, and after that, you felt empty. your chest and your stomach ached, but there was nothing else to feel. your head, on the other hand, felt heavy. like it was rammed against a cement wall and forced to carry the weight of hardbound books. 

the moment you picked yourself up from your wallowing in sorrow, the weight of responsibility crashed into you all at once. like being thrown anvils to carry on your back, every step you took wherever you went. your father wasn’t just one of your family’s sources of income, he also stood as a figure of support for your siblings and your mom while you were away. you were angry at him for leaving you, but you beat yourself around into understanding that it wasn’t an escape.

it was about 2am by the time you arrived at the small apartment complex. an inconvenient decision that may have seemed senseless, but before you insisted in spending as much time as you could with your family before you were required to report to work the next day.

and so here you were, backpack in hand, unlocking the door to your apartment late at night.

seeing the living room and kitchen lights on alarmed you. you were sure you turned everything off before you left. your electricity bills were going to be horrendous that month.

you settle your bag down on the floor and bent over to untie your shoes.

“oh… you decided to come back?”

that voice.

kim minji.

hearing her voice again felt fresh. but it felt fresh for only one reason.

you ignored her the whole time you were away. you didn’t tell anyone anything, not even you friends in the city.

minji’s tone was firm. it wasn’t sharp and cold like the time she came over to confront you about missing your dates.

it was firm, but it was also vulnerable. the night she confronted you her voice lacked all the emotion in the world. tonight, it was full of it. you couldn’t tell if she was worried, angry, disappointed, sad, maybe everything and in between.

“where were you?”

there it was. the burning question of the night. 

unlike last time, minji didn’t bother approaching you. she stayed seated on the living room couch, her head turned to face you at the front door.

“minji, listen. i-“ you walked towards her, approaching the living room couch with caution from what you could pick up in her voice.

“y/n i was in pain… did you know that? the past few weeks have been horrible… and before i can even begin to talk about why, i have to worry about whether you were even alive or not!”

“i’m sorry! okay, i’m sorry!”

you were defensive, and it came out like you were throwing around apologies for a band-aid solution, when that really wasn’t the case. you just didn’t have it in your heart to tell her what happened.

“we had to cancel 2 fansigns because of threats we were getting, did you even know that, y/n?”

no, you didn’t. you weren’t aware of how far your girlfriend’s career had gone for the group to be receiving that kind of treatment. even before your dad passed.

“…no.”

“and that’s just… the tip of the fucking iceberg… so i ran here thinking i’d find you. because, y/n, i know for a fact you’re my safe place. but you weren’t even fucking there…”

“i’m sorry…” you muttered, your hands clasped together as you stood in front of her.

“you weren’t answering calls, you weren’t responding to texts. from me or any of the girls! i asked my manager to get in contact with your coworkers! fuck, i even asked some of our high school friends… but none of them knew where you were! do you know how sick my stomach felt?” she looked up at you with tears in her eyes. one of the few times you’ve ever seen her cry, and somehow, it always had something to do with you.

it made you feel sick.

“i’m so sorry…”

“and before you fucking arrived, for a moment i really thought you were going to just leave everything like my dad.”

after all the pain she’s shared with you?

“minji i-“

“but a part of me knew, or wanted to know you’d never do that. like you said, ‘we’d never make my parents’ mistakes’. but in that moment it felt like you did. like we did.”

“i’m sorry… i wasn’t thinking…”

“i think we need a fucking break y/n.”

she stood up.

what?

“w-what? minji what do you mean w-why a-“

“this isn’t the first time you just disappeared on me, don’t you get it? the first time it happened i had to confront you because otherwise you’d just let it slide and it’d probably happen again within the next few months.”

she walked to the dining room, away from the living room. it was closer to the apartment entrance.

“that’s not true.”

“when i told you about my parents, it was because i thought i had finally found something different with you.”

“and we did! we are! we’re not like them…”

she stood by the door, hand on the knob.

“you keep disappearing on me, y/n. i don’t know what to believe anymore.”

and just like that, she dropped the spare keys to your apartment on your kitchen counter, and left your apartment unit. 

you knew better than to let her go. you knew better to let the love of your life go. you knew better than to let her, a celebrity, run out in the middle of the night, with no security, and god knows who or what out in the streets of the area you stayed in.

braced myself for the goodbye, ‘cause that’s all i’ve ever known. 

for minji, she had no idea what she was doing, but she knew couldn’t take another second in your damned apartment. the apartment she stayed in the weeks she was waiting for you to come back. it reminded her of the times she felt like her mom, desperately waiting for her dad to come back to her. it reminded her of how she felt like her dad during the first month of the divorce, and how he kept his hopes high telling her and her brother that things would get better because their mom would always come back, when she didn’t. she hated that apartment because it reminded her of why she hated love. why she stopped believing in love.

she hated that apartment because it was yours, and you showed her how to believe in love again, and you made her believe you two would be different. 

if that was so, then why did you leave her feeling like things were going to end the same way her parents did?

she couldn’t take it anymore. how could she fully commit to someone who’d leave her out of the loop. someone who can’t at least try to share part of their world with her. someone who, after seeing all the sides and versions of her, could still get up and leave without a word.

you cursed under your breath for minji being so long-legged. it didn’t take long for her to get to your apartment building’s lobby, but timing was by your side. for once, it felt like maybe the world wasn’t against you.

the scene was cinematic. you grabbed her wrist from behind her, and pulled her by the arm, back towards you. back to you where you knew she belonged.

“i’m sorry, and i promise i’ll tell you everything. and i know i left with no warning, no sign. i know that it was best to tell you. but i promise i wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t something as serious as that.”

you gently reached over to hold her other hand in yours. hopefully it was enough to not have her run away again.

“i don’t know how many sorry’s i have left in me, but whatever that amount is, i know, won’t be enough. but please, minji, i’m begging you now, please don’t leave. i know it’s been hard, it’s been difficult for me too. fuck, it’s been hell the past few weeks and not a single second of it has felt real, but i need you. i need you to stay.”

you took a deep inhale. you hadn’t realized you weren’t breathing throughout your mini speech. 

“because right now it feels like i’ve lost everything, and i can’t take it if i lost you. and i know… i know, i sound like a guilt-tripping asshole right now but that’s really... you mean a lot. you mean so much… you mean so fucking much to me, minji, and i know that’s not what you felt when i disappeared, but it’s the truth, and i-“

your legs gave in. you were exhausted, but you weren’t going to stop until you knew she’d stay.

you knelt on the floor, in front of her, holding her hands above your head.

god, you looked so ridiculously desperate. but you didn’t care. not an inch of your body felt a bit of shame. you knew minji was worth everything you had.

“i love you. i love you. i love you so much. and i don’t know how else to say this without sounding like a fucking asshole, but i know you love me too, and i just need you to hear me out, before you decide to leave. and if you still want to go after, then i-. i wouldn’t blame you, and i’d let you, but please… please.” you whispered out the last of your words, your sobs echoing through the empty, dim-lit lobby.

she’d never seen you like this before. 

not once in the several years of being your friend or your girlfriend.

and you were right, she loved you so much. just as much as you did her.

and that was enough for her to listen.

“get up.” she spoke so softly, you could’ve missed it if you weren’t listening for any response.

you scrambled, shuffled onto your feet, and finally came face-to-face with the girl you loved.

it took everything in you to not hold her, kiss her, and comfort her, when you knew you were the cause of her pain and suffering.

but if god made angels roam earth, you were convinced minji was one of them.

she almost catapulted towards you, causing you to stumble backwards until your back met a wall. your arms automatically wrapped around her waist, like it was second nature, or maybe because it was.

you heard her sobs, and you ran your fingers through her hair like she’d do for you. rub her back comfortingly like when you held your siblings in your arms, her tears dampening your clothes the same way theirs did.

you let her be, and waited patiently until she decided to speak. her face rested against your shoulder so her voice was slightly muffled, 

“i thought you’d leave.”

you felt your chest tighten in guilt.

“i thought i did something wrong, or that you were tired of me. tired of dating someone with a job like mine, packed up, and left.”

then, you took me by surprise. you said,

“i’m sorry i made you feel that way.”

you kissed the top of her head and rested your cheek against it.

“never again. i promise, and i say it out loud this time.  i’ll never leave you alone.”

[anghraine]

I got home from my (maternal) grandmother's funeral in rather worse health (asthma wise) and after all kinds of right wing family drama (it's conservative on conservative violence, the rest of us were largely just organizing and preparing for the funeral), but it was a much smoother, pleasanter event in general than my grandfather's.

I'm incredibly tired, though. On the bright side, I did manage to keep writing every day—just on my cell phone (which I hate doing) and not a whole lot, but still, my streak is unbroken!

[now for the whining]

I total caved to family pressure, though. Most people seem to believe that piano playing is physically effortless and only challenging in a coordination sense, but in fact when my asthma is already bad it does drastically aggravate already-poor breathing. I'd agreed to play the specific song my grandmother had requested, but told my mother I probably wouldn't have the fortitude for anything else, and I really couldn't sing (both for breath reasons and for my voice getting much lower in the ongoing asthma episode reasons). But my mother has had to hold her entire family together by the sheer strength of her will, she's the one who prepared her mother's body (understandably upsetting and her siblings are... let's just say that she combines maximal Eldest Daughter syndrome with the most dutiful, disciplined firstborn child energy possible and they are happy to let her do so), her knees are basically non-functional and yet she's running everyone around and keeping the children happy and etc. And she really wanted me to sing with them (especially the song all the women of the family were singing) and help them practice their piece and play in the background.

So I ended up helping everyone practice and playing for hours without interruption in the background and singing with the other family members for three separate songs including all four verses of "How Great Thou Art", all of which required me to drop the melody a full octave. I guess getting dragged into unwisely singing with The Women of the Family only for my voice to sound like a baritone amidst theirs is one way to Do Gender at... a funeral... anyway.

But everyone was really nice about the piano playing. Even my awful MAGA aunt was like "wow did you even realize you played for over two hours without stopping? It was really nice" and my uncle, her brother, went "and without missing a note, either" and I tried to just politely thank them while my back and entire right arm were throbbing, lol. I actually hadn't played in over a year because my piano is horrendously out of tune, but at long last my years of hiding out at church via being the Forever Accompanist until I withdrew altogether were helpful, since all my grandmother's favorite hymns are basically coded into my hands at this point.

My bio father, who was there because of his closeness with Grandma, was honestly an unexpected champ, too. He stayed with me at the piano, made sure I ate and was feeling as well as possible, kept me headed in the right direction when I got turned around, told me I sounded like crap when I was feeling especially unwell, etc. He asked if I'd looked at the body and I was like "no, I don't really.......want to," and he went "yeah, I'm the same, I'd rather remember people the way I knew them than look at a corpse, I'm trying to avoid going over there." So, uh, unexpected corpse-dodging father-daughter solidarity there.

My adoptive father was also great, and kept my mother functional, but also kept refilling a water bottle and giving it to me to drink so I didn't hack up an entire lung, found me Tylenol, and got me back home even though it meant us traveling some 700 mi in three days. So it wasn't all awful or anything, just exhausting.

Also, all this was held near where I was born and where my maternal family has lived for decades (my grandparents moved there in... 1976, I think), and I myself visited my grandparents there every summer and lived there for a couple of years. So there were a lot of people I knew as a child and relatives beyond the most closest related. And I got to pursue my family-gathering hobby of telling various relatives how old I now am :D (I look younger than I really am, so they always have to stop to contemplate the inexorable passage of time), while Mother got to boast about my PhD to relatives who've often rather looked down on her.

And the church all this was happening at is actually where I first learned to play as a tiny Anghraine (aged 8). The main church organist/pianist from then (now very elderly) was like "oh, Mary Elizabeth, you played so beautifully" and enough of 8-year-old me survives that I was enormously gratified. She also added, "And for so long, your back and hands are going to hurt so much later" which was some very welcome validation, lol.

[oacest]

I never got why at some points they'd say they Never Really got along nor did stuff with each other, when there are also multiple stories abt them hanging out and having fun together like the anecdotes with the Maroon 5 and Depeche Mode dudes, hell I remember an old Morrissey documentary where there's a clip of them backstage after a Moz concert, they obviously used to see each other for more than just business and tour purposes up 'til like 2007 so the constant retconning abt it is so ??? to me

yeah, this is an incredibly eyeroll-worthy tendency of theirs, and I think there are a myriad of reasons for it, even if you set aside the They Are Compulsive Liars With Deep-Fried Brains aspect of it all

for one, they are sensitive and easily wounded creatures that have always cemented the Bad times into their long-term memories and disregarded the good times like they never happened. think about how, for example, one negative comment holds the power of a hundred positive ones — it’s like that. for them, it would’ve taken an insane amount of good times to negate the damage done by one nasty fight

on top of that, they have this batshit way of committing to particular narratives including both how things “are” and how they think things should be. their various ~traumas gave them a misguided idea of what a happy and functional family dynamic should be and so, besieged by typical sibling rivalry, they baked “we don’t get along” into the core of the way they define their relationship whether it’s true or not. it meant that the good times were never enough and didn’t Count, and the bad times added up to a mountain of proof that they don’t get along and never have

finally, they are allergic to and terrified of vulnerability which means they can neither admit when they like each others’ company (too exposing! too revealing! too much opportunity for disappointment!) nor admit that the bad times result in painful longstanding wounds (they’re not hurt, you see, because that’s just How They Are and they both know that! all good nothing to see here!)

throw in liam being a bottomless well for love and validation and noel being the most stubborn man who has ever lived, and that’s a recipe for two people who are going to insist they don’t get along for the rest of their days

anyway hope they have fun on tour! lmao

[please-read-akane-banashi]

One Backstory to Rule them All

Anyone else think about how Sanji's backstory parallels every other Strawhat's backstory?

1. Luffy - Luffy is the most obvious, as they quite literally flashback to Shanks losing his arm right after Sanji explains how Zeff sacrificed his leg for Sanji. It's interesting the parallel here - because Shanks sacrifice is what took Luffy a step further in his dreams and made him determined to be the captain of his own pirate crew rather than simply joining Shank's crew, which is what he wanted to do previously. Now, for Sanji, Zeff's sacrifice had the opposite effect and Sanji chained himself to Zeff and what remained of Zeff's dreams rather than being pushed forward by it.

2. Zoro - I find it interesting that all of the Monster Trio parallel each other in their backstories in that all of them constantly lost when they were kids. Zoro lost 2001 times to Kuina, Luffy lost 50 fights to Ace and 50 to Sabo every day, and Sanji was constantly being beaten by his siblings. Each were called weak by those beating them, and each grew past that. What's also interesting to me is that there's the specific method of losing in Sanji's losing montage that's a direct callback to Zoro's backstory, as Oda includes multiple scenes of Sanji being beat at fights with wooden swords.

The difference being that Kuina is a decent human being and doesn't abuse Zoro. She calls him weak, but ultimately respects him as a rival and Zoro respects her in turn. Luffy also eventually earns that respect, though Sanji never does which leads to a noticeable difference in how Zoro and Sanji see themselves and their places on the crew - Thriller Bark I think being a perfect example of how Sanji believes that he's replaceable in a way that Zoro doesn't.

3. Nami - Nami and Sanji were both kids that found themselves in abusive situations, though at different ages. For both of them, their abuse centered around a man who's belief in their own superiority led them to a sense of entitlement to what was theirs. Arlong believed in his own biological superiority and Judge believed in the superiority of the Vinsmoke name, as well as genetic superiority which led him to experiment on his own children. Arlong values the lives of fishmen, the lives of the rest of his crew over the lives of Nami and the rest of her village. Judge values the lives of his other children over Sanji, seeing him as a failure for the way he was born (although it's also mentioned he blames Sanji for what happened with Sora). I think another very interesting parallel in their stories is the role of their respective older sisters. Nojiko and Reiju both privately support their younger sibling but both cannot stand up to the abusive figure in their lives. Nojiko gets tattoos to match Nami's to help her feel less alone, she listens to Nami, and does her best to try and support her through the 8 years of hell (8 years being another parallel to other members of the crew including Sanji). Reiju for her part laughs along with her brothers, but never lays a hand against Sanji and does her best to patch him up after everyone is gone. Their actions are indirect and discreet, save for the final fights, and that muted care is a very interesting part of each of their characters and it's why, I think neither of them felt it was their place to accompany their siblings on their journey. When Nami leaves, Nojiko lets her go, like she's always let her go. And Reiju pushes Sanji to leave, just as she pushed before. That regret of not being able to help more will stick with them forever.

4. Usopp - Usopp's backstory is all of 5 seconds long and still manages to parallel Sanji's somehow??? If I had a nickel for each strawhat who's mom was sick and died from illness when they were young, I'd have 2 nickels-

5. Chopper - HOO boy the parallel of your biological family hating you for the way that you were born and neglecting/abusing you for it hits right on Chopper's blue nose. Now, it's not all bad for either of them, though - considering they each had someone that accepted them for who they were. Chopper had Hiraluk and Sanji had Sora. Hiraluk inspired Chopper to be a doctor, emphasizing he had the most important qualification - a big heart. Sora meanwhile cried about how kind Sanji was to Reiju and her nurse, when he told her to "get better soon", calling him the "sweetest boy in the world". That kindness - that caring nature, is something that Hiraluk and Sora would do anything to protect and it's so evident that these two cared deeply for their kids. It's why Hiraluk ate that poisoned mushroom and encouraged Chopper to become a doctor and Sora ate the ruined food despite her fragile constitution and asked Sanji to cook for her again! This is love, baby!

These two kids were willing to risk so much to bring nourishment and care to the ones they loved, BOTH standing up to their biological families - Chopper fighting through his old herd of reindeer to get the mushroom, and Sanji sneaking out risking his father's wrath and braving the storm and wild dogs to deliver the food. Hiraluk and Sora are Chopper's and Sanji's source of encouragement which kick start each of their passions. And both of them tragically die which is honestly just heartbreaking. But all hope isn't lost, and both Chopper and Sanji find a new mentor, ones who are strict - but do care a lot for each of them, and help them develop the discipline they need to learn their respective crafts. Kurehara and Zeff are interesting parallels, both tough older mentors who are sharp of tongue and strict with their new apprentices. They can be this way without discouraging Chopper and Sanji, because the passion has already been ignited and so it's easy to see how they're good fits for helping these two live up to their full potential.

6. Robin - the big parallel with these two boils down to these two scenes and I sob about both of them.

Saul and Reiju, telling them to set out to sea, placing faith in the vastness of the world, knowing that they've done everything they can for now and planting that seed of hope that someday Robin and Sanji will meet people that can give them what they deserve is just such a touching moment. While this parallel is interesting, what's also interesting is the ways in which these two characters differ. The danger that Robin runs from is something that chases her, whereas the danger that Sanji runs from is his family and once he's made it onto the boat he's free. Robin thought she would never be safe, Sanji thought he was safe up until the wedding fiasco. And precisely the thing that hurts Sanji - the fact that his family wanted him gone - is so different from what's hurting Robin - the fact that she'll never be left alone by the government. Robin is wanted for the skills she and only she has, her story is (wo)man vs world, her bounty set at 79,000,000 which is the literal value on her head. Sanji is unwanted for the skills he, and he alone (in his family) lacks. There's no bounty, no one goes after him. His story is man vs self and undoing the damage that was done to his psyche as a child. It's so fascinating to me the way that both of these characters are saved by the crew in similar but such different ways, the way that each of them wanted to die, but for different reasons. Robin wanted to sacrifice herself because she's been betrayed and hurt by the world so many times that she couldn't trust in the strawhats' love. She loved them too much to risk being hurt like that again. Sanji wanted to sacrifice himself because he'd rather die than inconvenience the crew. Rather than not believing in their love, he doesn't believe he's worth that love, preferring to solve his problems on his own. And I think that it's so fitting the way that both of their stories intersect in Wano, with Robin being able to protect Sanji and Sanji finally believing in his own worth enough to ask for help. They're such different characters, with Sanji wearing his heart on his sleeves and Robin holding her's close to her chest and such interesting mirrors of each other.

7. Franky - they're cyborgs, what else can I say? The difference here is clear - Sanji's body was modified without his consent, whereas Franky modified himself. They're also both unwanted children, with Franky's parents abandoning him on Water 7 whereas Sanji's father was happy when Sanji left.

8. Brook - the parallel here is in the loneliness that both of them experienced, and really Sanji just got a taste of what Brook went through. Sanji and Brook were both parts of different crews before they were on the strawhats, albeit Sanji as a child and for a very short time, whereas Brook was with the Rumbar pirates for a longer time as an adult journeying very similarly to how the strawhats are now. Both were the sole survivors of their respective crews after being attacked, and though Sanji had Zeff on the rock, neither of them communicated with each other for the first 70 days after their initial agreement. Sanji felt a taste of the 50 years that Brook had to go through, with no food or water or way to escape off his abandoned pirate ship.

9. Jimbei - honestly I don't really have a good comparison for these two, other than they're both people who when confronted with the cruelty of others chose irrational kindness. Jimbe eventually learned how to live with and respect humans, and Sanji wouldn't let his family die, even after everything they put him through. They're both people who derived their codes of honor from others - Jimbei from Fisher Tiger and Queen Otohime and Sanji from Zeff. Idk maybe there's more there, but i don't really have too much to say about these two

Anyways, idk i just think they're neat 👉👈 and the way that Oda threw in parallels to all the other character's when completing Sanji's backstroy is so fascinating to me

[vendily-blog]

Here's the promised longer post I mentioned, on the topic of Mario and Luigi's brotherly relationship, though a significant portion of the post is filtered through the interpretation of Luigi's character over the decades. I touch upon both out-of-universe and in-universe points.

The best place to start is my motivation for writing this post in the first place, which is the annoyance regarding the subset of the fandom who act as if Mario is a cruel character, especially with respect to his brother Luigi. Obligatory, albeit tongue-in-cheek, "Fuck MatPat", due to his video positing Mario as a sociopath. I don't place all the blame at his feet, but he is an easy public target to point at, and I know some people would have been influenced by that video.

In anticipation for the length of the post, I've left the rest under a read more.

The one evidence MatPat mentioned in that video that still sticks with me all these years later was Mario grinding his shoe onto Luigi's foot after the latter wins his trophy in Mario Power Tennis.

However this ignores the context of the other trophy win animations, which are all comedic in nature, as well as the fact that a number of others also feature Luigi getting in some sort of trouble during them.

Mario Power Tennis initially released in 2004, the middle of the 00s. This time period was a marked shift in how Luigi as a character was used, as he really solidified due to Paper Mario 64 and Luigi's Mansion setting a baseline characterization. Later titles tipped further into the "down on his luck" and "lack of respect" aspects of his character.

But this characterization has started to be tipped back again, not having a bad thing happen to Luigi be the "be all end all" of comedy, likely in part due to the Year of Luigi.

Though overall, it's important to remember that the brothers have spanned 4 decades worth of media. That's quite a bit of time, and quite a lot of experimentation, even as the broadest strokes stayed constant. This brings me back to 1988. 5 years now Luigi would have existed, and the Super Show cartoon wouldn't start airing for another year. But we did get Super Mario Bros 3, and every time you booted it up, you'd get this title sequence.

Would you look at that? Luigi jumping on Mario's head? Throwing a Green Shell at him? What a terrible brother he is! This is sarcasm, but it does demonstrate how this really is one of earliest depiction of interaction between them that I'm aware of. (The other being the Japanese animated movie released in 1986, but that film focused more on Mario as the hero, with Luigi mostly causing trouble when he is on screen. It's a fun watch, but Luigi's character was still up in the air at the time.)

To loop back around to the in-universe discussion, they're siblings, these kinds of things happen, but they generally don't break the relationship. No relationship is always perfectly happy and content. It's fine to have moments where they're jealous, or annoyed, or otherwise not being on the same wavelength. But it doesn't mean they hate each other. To make a personal anecdote, my own sibling can get on my nerves at times and mine on theirs (sometimes even intentionally, haha), but that doesn't mean when push comes to shove, we wouldn't help the other. That's exactly the sort of energy I personally see in the Mario Bros. relationship.

This is also where I discuss the major sub-series, as they all emphasize different aspects of Luigi, which provides a different spin on the relationship (though never to the point where it'd flip to them hating each other).

Paper Mario's Luigi still cares for Mario, but he's also looking to prove himself, which is evident in his diary in 64 (wishing he could go on an adventure), his Marvelous Compass quest in TTYD (saving another kingdom), the intro of Super (attempting to interrupt the wedding in the intro), and his Peach's Castle key search quest in TOK (helping his brother by finding incorrect but still helpful keys). However some of his private dialogue in his diary could be read as more resentful or jealous, as Mario goes on yet another adventure while he stays at home. But, to take an in-universe view, just because Luigi has those feelings at times doesn't mean he always feels like that, and at the end of the diary, he's "looking forward to listening to the story of his adventure" and that he's going to "prepare a dinner to celebrate Mario's return". These writings are private, so they're effectively Luigi unfiltered, without some supposed need to keep up appearances for Mario's sake, yet we can see he's happy to see Mario back at home again.

Mario & Luigi's Luigi in contrast, is far more reluctant to get into trouble, with him intending to see Mario off at the start of Superstar Saga before being grabbed and taken along for the adventure, and generally being a lot more cowardly. Despite this, his love for his brother still shines through, with him forcing himself through bad situations because Mario's at his side, or because his love for his brother outweighs his fear of the situation.

Interaction between the bros doesn't happen as much in the Super Mario titles, but you could argue it being a middle ground between these two prior interpretations. Super Mario Galaxy in particular has Luigi collecting Power Stars by himself and getting in over his head, so he turns to the one person he can always rely upon, his brother. Though he also does decide that he's had enough excitement after a few stars and needing to be rescued.

However, one thing is constant, Mario is a great guy, not some cruel jerk. He cares about everyone, but especially about his brother, and Luigi wouldn't place that level of trust in Mario if he didn't deserve it.

[konaiiro]

wip: Summer '12 - Mandy Milkovich

A wip I cooked up a while ago which has been sitting in drafts. Planning to clean it up and finish it soon.

s2/s3 of Shameless from the perspective of Mandy.

Looking back, summer of 2012 had been something special. Something was in the air they breathed; in the beer they drank and in the joints they smoked. It was unescapable and ever since the leaves began to yellow later that season, she had craved that feeling like an addict. They didn’t have a 12-step guide for this kind of heartache; grow up or eat shit was the method around here. Both Ian and Mandy hadn’t been children for long, adults before they reached double digits, so maybe that summer was the years they missed out on - shoved into that crazy couple months before senior year. 

It wasn’t perfect but it was theirs and it was fucking everything. 

Ian Gallagher was the first boy to call her beautiful. Not her ass or her tits, but all of her, everything that made her Southside trash and maybe one day something more. When she thought back, she always liked to believe he also meant her soul. Maybe that’s why the next years hurt so bad - souls don’t heal the same. 

Admittedly, she had first been drawn to him by what some would call chivalry; it was in short supply around these parts. Watching his messily cut fringe and freckled cheeks in history class, the boy shockingly oblivious to it all, Mandy saw someone worth looking at. Ian didn’t look at her like she expected, he didn’t really look at her at all. Normally it took less to get a man watching, but just in case the boy was dense, she shimmied up her skirt before she tracked him down. 

The next week was a blur. Childishly, it had hurt being pushed away. It was embarrassing and humiliating, but worst of all, it hurt to think a good guy like Ian wouldn’t want anything to do with her. When she got home, tear-stained, to the questions from her brothers, the accusation just rolled out of her mouth. Milkovichs don’t cry. Milkovichs aren’t pussies. It somehow was worse to tell her siblings that someone didn’t want her, that she wasn’t worthy of someone who was good for the sake of it. The facade cracked when the ginger-haired boy found her outside her house, a piece of the puzzle clicking into place. 

She had been surprised when Ian said it, but in the end, it didn’t matter. Mandy would want him in any way he would let her. 

It was from then on that she saw the light of the Gallaghers, like a beacon buoyed out in the dark ocean. She was merely swimming towards something to keep her afloat. Mandy didn’t understand everything, like the unmeasured love to each other that the siblings had. She understood the devotion though - her kind was bloody and raw and destructive, because when there is a war on, you don’t get to question what you are fighting for. 

She had been stupid enough to draw her attention to Ian’s older brother. He had that smile that made sure you knew he was trouble, a cigarette falling from his lips, but at least he was looking back. 

He was known around the neighbourhood, always had been. First, sneered as Frank’s son, then as the delinquent street rat they all were, but it changed around middle school. He was the smart one, the one destined to go somewhere, the one lucky enough to have a ticket out of here. Mandy never believed the rumours, she had a fair share of her own to know that lot of them would be complete horse shit. She should’ve though, she really should have listened when they talked about Karen Jackson and the Gallagher boy’s take-no-prisoners attitude. It would’ve saved her time and heartbreak and the crushed hope that maybe Lip would take her with him when he inevitably made something of himself. 

No, she should’ve known from the start. The man was smart enough to know he was brillant but too stupid to realise he was also human like the rest of them. Nothing would've been enough for Lip and she had figured out at a young age that ass and tits only got you so far. Ian’s brother was an asshole and could be so fucking stupid but by August, Mandy had fallen in love with him. It was the kind of teenage, heatwave inducing love that she doesn’t think she’ll ever completely get over. Scars on her soul, and all that. 

Those sweet months between grades had been something like a dream. Fightclubs for both the local teens and the local robots. Weed so potent that Ian and her would discuss a life past the age of twenty five - West Point bound for him. It was another reason she loved Ian, he wanted to be something more. He gave her hope she desperately needed in the house of horrors she grew up in, in the neighbour they both did. He also talked about this boy he liked. The irony was not lost on her now that they both were chasing men who made themselves believe that they only wanted their bodies, but never their souls. Too bad they gave them anyways, laid their wishes and dreams out in hopes that something would become of it. Hoping that these men, boys really, would take a look and find something shiny and worth their time. The two of them - begging for something more, accepting what they got.

That summer had been something incredible, regardless of the heartbreak or maybe because of it, she wasn’t sure. They didn’t know it then but they would never be those two stupid highschoolers again because by the time they caught up with each other, they would be haunted by things out of their control.

It was the summer before Ian ran and Mandy stayed. It was before the bipolar caught up to him and Mickey was not fast enough to catch the man before they both crashed. It was before Kenyatta and Milwaukee and men with sharp smiles and kind money. It was before everything went to shit and the two of them would come out the other side of that storm very different people with only their beating hearts to prove that they still loved each other dearly. 

Every time the weather got warmer, she would let herself think back for a moment. Reminisce about the good, the bad and the ugly; Ian, Lip and the special type of scars that were left behind. Those months were packed to the brim on her battered camcorder SD card, now lost in her childhood bedroom like everything else that summer held - the last taste of teenage-hood they would never get again.

[dandelion-wings]

Okay so the terrible secret is that the thing that got me thinking about underwater kissing (and associated breathplay) this morning was tossing around Yet Another AU with @theabysscomeshome. They referred to a character as "Evil Jean," I laughed so hard I wanted to write something, I thought about how I'd write this little section without explaining the entire worldbuilding and backstory (ngl we toss around omegaverse AUs mostly so that we can do worldbuilding with them >> evopsych is fun when it isn't real), and then I drifted sideways into imagining the Jean/Eula and wrote that other fic, thinking I would write that instead of this. And then it turned out not to be an 'instead'!

This one stays on Tumblr, though, because while I tried to keep everything I actually put in here self-contained enough not to have to explain The Whole AU in story notes, it is just a piece sliced off of a way larger setting and plot. Warnings for the obvious omegaverse, of course, but also child abuse, near-drowning, and completely unnegotiated breathplay.

---

"Ah, there they are. My brother's omega, and another of her alphas. Let me introduce you."

Kaeya gestures towards a table at the far end of the plaza. Well away, Jean sees, from the slowly-widening circle around her mother and Kaeya's father--but the Grand Master has already waved them off twice now, and is watching the situation himself. Her mother won't actually attack Kaeya's father. She thinks. And if she's wrong, the Grand Master can handle it. Can probably handle it.

The point is that he doesn't want her and Kaeya in the middle of whatever happens, and she has to agree that that's the right call. Involving two senior alphas' children in a dispute between them is generally a bad idea, even if she and Kaeya are both adults themselves. And she does want to meet the rest of Kaeya's family. His brother had been quite a nice man, and Kaeya has spoken very well of his omega.

"What are their names?" she asks, tucking her arm into his and letting him lead her away.

"Ah. I can tell you the omega's, but as for her-" he gestures at the alpha "-this is embarrassing…."

"I won't laugh," Jean promises.

"Why not? It's funny, actually. I've spent the past ten years thinking of her as 'Evil Jean.'"

Jean does a double-take. Now that she looks, though, she can see it. The alpha's face is a little narrower, her chin a little sharper, her hair a foot longer and maybe half a shade darker--but it's still golden and pulled back in a ponytail, and she has eyes that could be either grey or blue, depending on the light. The shape of her face, moreover, is a thinned version of what Jean sees in the mirror every morning. Not a sibling resemblance, but more than close enough to make her wonder if a long-ago Gunnhildr perhaps married into that Khaenri'ahan line, or vice-versa.

"I see the resemblance," she says. Then she hesitates, because Kaeya has been telling her over and over that Mondstadt's understanding of how they treat omegas is as much a misapprehension as their own beliefs about Mondstadt. But- "Why 'evil'?"

***

Kaeya wishes that he could have bathed with anyone else. He understands why his brother's omega has to be here, that he has to stay with her and let her guide him and keep him safe, but this is his least favorite of her alphas. He doesn't want her anywhere near his bath.

He does understand why she's here too, though, even if he doesn't like it. She's the omega's favorite, even if no one would say that out loud. It makes her happy to have her here, and so here she is, sitting in the water while his brother's omega combs his hair, giving one of her lectures.

"Remember, Mondstadt has so many omegas that a lot of them only have one alpha," she reminds him, as she always does, as she has every time she thinks of something nasty to make him squirm. "Which means they have enough that if an alpha decides they don't like theirs, and want to bond with another, they can just kill them to break the bond. So you have to behave perfectly if you don't want whatever alpha you get to kill you."

"I will," Kaeya says, trying to keep his voice soft and obedient, because she'd punished him last time when he hadn't spoken--but he'd forgotten that she always finds an excuse to punish him.

"Did I tell you to talk?" She reaches out and seizes a hank of his hair, snatching him away from her omega and leaning in. "They won't want you to talk there. They want their omegas to be perfectly quiet and perfectly still, unless they're told. It's why they don't let them fight, to keep them docile, and so if they don't want them anymore, like I said-"

And she shoves his head under the water.

Kaeya does his best not to flail like instinct tells him to. He already knows better than to try and scream. He holds himself still, trembling with the effort, trembling all the harder as his lungs begin to burn. He can't breathe. He wants so badly to open his mouth, to suck in air, but he knows how stupid that would be. All he can do is hold still and wait, and she'll pull him out. She has to. His brother will kill her if she kills Kaeya, and then his father will raise her as an Abyss Mage to kill her twice.

He wants to believe that. But his chest hurts so, so bad, and he's getting scared, and he wants to thrash and fight and he can't, and she's crazy enough that maybe she's willing to risk dying to kill him first.

Just as he thinks he's going to lose control and breathe in water, she pulls him up again. "He's fine," she says, sulkily, to her omega. "He just needed a demonstration."

"He understands," her omega says, soft and calm, and sets down her knife beside the tub, right where it had been before Kaeya had gone under. "You do, don't you, Kaeya? You'll do wonderfully in Mondstadt. I'm sure of it."

This time Kaeya doesn't risk talking, just nods. He watches the alpha lean back in the tub, lounging against its curve like a predator, watching them with satisfaction in her eyes. Kaeya looks away. He watches the water, instead, the little ripples in it, as her omega--his brother's omega, who had picked up her knife to defend him--resumes combing his hair.

"She wouldn't have actually hurt you," she whispers into Kaeya's ear. Kaeya thinks about the knife, and the alpha's sulky tones, and how she's looking at them still, but he doesn't dare do anything but nod again.

***

Kaeya chuckles ruefully. "She was the one who told me most of the scare-stories about Mondstadt, that's all."

'That's all' covers a lot of ground, Jean knows. She remembers how terrified he'd been as a child, afraid of her, of Diluc, of their parents, of making any wrong move, unable even to speak Mond back then to explain that terror. At the time she'd thought it was all because of how they'd met and their captors back then--she has nightmares, sometimes, of the knife the bandits had held to his throat to ensure her and Diluc's compliance, of resisting a little too long and seeing it sink into his flesh. He'd let them think that for so long. Only later, after he confessed his true origins, had he told them all that Khaenri'ah believed of Mondstadt, who after all had sent that long-ago expedition after the Cataclysm.

Diluc had been so much angrier about that confession, but also so much angrier about those stories in turn. Kaeya's family is lucky that he chose not to come to this event. Jean hasn't been able to hold onto her anger; if she thinks too much about what he'd thought of them, thought of her, for so long, these days it only brings sorrow.

"They're not true," she reminds him, hoping, as she always does, that he believes her. That she doesn't frighten him any longer. "Does she frighten you?" Is she one of the many reasons Jean had scared him?

***

Kaeya wishes that Jean would stop insisting on baths together. He knows, knows, that she won't hurt him. No one actually drowns omegas here--and if someone ever did, Jean would be the one to relentlessly ensure they were hanged. But what he knows doesn't erase an old, old fear.

At least she takes it gracefully when he refuses to let her wash his hair. He washes hers, instead, and lets her lean into him, often falling half-asleep if it's been a long day. It's a little easier every time to smile and pretend he enjoys it just as much as she does, curling together in the bath.

Today, though, it's bad, and he doesn't know why. It's been years of this. He knows he's safe. The last time they'd done this he'd cracked bad jokes all the way through until she'd been a giggling mess, and he'd been able to keep laughing even through her turning around and grabbing his shoulders and kissing him. This time she's not even touching him, just leaning back against the edge of the tub, half-asleep again, taking a rare opportunity to lounge.

And in the midst of this harmless domestic tableau, Kaeya wants to claw his skin off.

He's glad Jean's eyes are closed; he doesn't have to perform. But he can't keep himself from shifting in the tub, restless, with nothing to do. At least if she was kissing him--or they were indulging in what often follows kissing, because Jean practically has a fetish for coupling here, where there's no extra cleanup--he would have something to focus on. Instead they're both clean, she's falling asleep after a long day at work, and if he tries to get up and leave she'll feel obliged to get up after him instead of enjoying a nice long soak.

Maybe kissing will be a distraction. Kaeya shifts in closer and cups her cheek.

Jean makes a sleepy little noise, eyes half-opening, then a much more pleasant nose as their lips meet. She shifts to accomodate him, kissing him more thoroughly. Her breath is sweet from post-dinner ablutions, with a tinge of Anemo on top of it. Her Vision is on the edge of the tub; it's new to her, and she keeps it always close. She'd used it to save a knight with a collapsed lung this morning, she'd told him, recounting how she breathed into his mouth until it inflated again, delighted to have the power to heal her knights right there in her hand.

The thought that flashes across Kaeya's mind should make him recoil. Instead he seizes on it, desperately eager, just as he seizes her shoulders and pulls her backwards, down on top of him as he falls back into the tub. Water rises around them both, and suddenly he can't breathe.

Except that he can, with Jean's mouth against his, her Anemo surging into him with her outward breath. Just as she'd described it for that knight. Kaeya inhales sharply, dragging her breath into himself, and feels it fill his chest and soothe away the burning in his lungs. He keeps Jean held tight until she realizes what he's doing and shifts to rest on her elbows, breathing very deliberately to coil her Anemo between them.

She doesn't know what he's thinking about, just that he's come up with something fun to do with her Vision. He can feel her smile against his mouth. She kisses him deep, keeping them both breathing, panting into each other's mouths. Slowly the jittery feeling running through him fades away, and the warmth of arousal takes its place. He kisses more intently, more hungrily, light-headed and greedy, running his hands along her sides.

He wants to get his mouth elsewhere. He pushes up, and Jean rises, smoothly, pulling him up with her. Only once they're above the surface does she break the kiss, smiling at him with sparkling eyes.

"Where did you get that idea?" she whispers, her voice jumping on the last word as his hands move down.

Kaeya smiles at her, leaning in to kiss his way down her neck on the way to his final destination. "I just wanted," he murmurs, between kisses, "to enjoy the fact- that you wouldn't let me drown."

***

At her question, Kaeya raises an eyebrow at her. "Why would she frighten me any more?" he asks, leaning in close enough to whisper in her ear. Then he smirks. "I have the Good Jean right here."

[analog-autistic]

hold on. my moot is cooking and I had some ideas

@ilikedeltarune-notyou

undertale personality swap au

instead of the actual characters themselves being swapped, their personalities and styles get swapped.

some examples:

Frisk now speaks in the first person (chara narrator is one of my favorite headcanons)

Undyne is shy and quiet, and fumbles a lot of her attacks (which ironically makes them harder), while Alphys is a mad scientist who will take any excuse to perform some unethical experiments !!!

Alphys would be after you instead of Undyne, and her excuse for going after you is that she wants to dissect you

Nabstablook is showy and egotistic, but hates performing- says it’s their siblings talent, not theirs. Meanwhile Mettaton runs a relaxing podcast where he talks about books, music, and other stuff. He also makes peaceful music!

The dummy in the ruins is now Mad Dummy, who sticks with you the rest of the game if you do pacifist. If it were a game there would be not-so-subtle hints at their dysphoria and egg-ness.

The pacifist ending has them in the Mew Mew doll, and they note that they’re a lot happier and generally seem more upbeat. The dummy at waterfall doesn’t talk to you, but they do “flip you the bird.”

Flowey is genuinely super nice the whole game!!! He’s actually your friend this time around!! Stealing the idea from UTY about him being a save point. Asriel is a bitch, and Flowey notes on multiple occasions how he never wants to go back to being that.

Papyrus is now lazy, and Sans is now hyperactive and determined (hahahaha. get it) they still both make jokes constantly, it’s just that Papyrus is the one making bad jokes now.

And yes sans is still the geno fight. it’s 100x harder.

i also think it would be fun if the areas of the game were different but not sure how I’d do that ..

[spider-jaysart]

Headcanon meme

Jon Kent

- sad headcanon (don’t have the emoji for it)

- happy headcanon (don’t have the emoji for it)

☠️- angry/violent headcanon

❤️ -family headcanon

☮️- friendship headcanon

♦️- quirks/hobbies headcanon

☯️- likes/dislikes headcanon

@gothicghost2000

Sad Headcanon:

After a very rough mission for the Superfam, which involved Kryptonite, Krypto was severely injured and had a bunch of Kryptonite shards stabbed into his back, arms, and legs. The poor dog had to get medical help asap. Jon cried so hard about it, thinking he was going to lose him. He felt like it was all his fault for not protecting him well enough too, since he was the one who was actually with Krypto during his part of the mission.

Clark and everyone else tried to comfort him though and told him he's not the one to blame for any of this, especially since he was also pretty injured too by some of the Kryptonite bullets that were shot by enemies. Jon retorted that it wasn't as bad as Krypto's injuries though, so he should've been stronger for him, but later tried to understand that he's not at fault after some more comforting from the Superfam. Hours went by as Krypto was still being aided, and he was still asleep after all of it was done, so everyone decided that while he was healing, they would come back later in the morning to check up on him again.

At the Kent house, while everyone was already asleep during the late night, Jon couldn't fall asleep at all, so he sneakily went to go see Krypto and layed down next to the sleeping dog, cuddled him, and fell out like that. The rest of the Superfam came back to check up on Krypto like they had planned and saw the adorable sight of them both, along with a happy surprise as well. Jon soon woke up to Krypto giving him doggy kisses on the face and was instantly over joyed to see that the Super dog was finally awake and in a happy mood like usual too.

Jon gave him the biggest loving hug that he could and laughed with bright happiness in him. The rest of the Superfamily even joined in on it too, creating a wholesome family hug between them all. Jon, including everyone else, were so glad to see that their wonderful dog was doing okay again.

Happy headcanon:

One time, during the summer, Jon was going to a weekly science class for fun by himself, but Chris could see that he would've liked it if he had company with him, so he decided to join him. He felt it would be another great way for them to spend time with eachother and thought it would be pretty cool to learn some things about science too. Jon was very happy with this news once he brought it up to him and was very excited that he was gonna be able to share one of his biggest interests with someone. The classes were for five weeks and they both ended up having a lot of fun there together. Chris learned a lot of interesting stuff from Jon and that class and Jon got to enjoy everything so much more than he thoight he would. This bonding time of theirs was one of the greatest ones they've had together as siblings.

Angry/violent headcanon:

After hitting puberty at the early age of 15, Jon didn't expect for it all to be so much more difficult than what the normal experience is for humans. Both of his ears would literally turn into the color blue, making him have to usually wear headphones to cover them up while in public or wear a beanie over them during school time, he would get very itchy underneath both his feet and under arms all the time and would look strange in front of others who aren't his family and friends whenever he repeatedly kept having to try to scratch those areas. He would also grow little pink hairs on his neck as well that would shed off, grow, shed off and repeat, so he had to sometimes wear one of Lois' scarf to hide it. He would always get so angry and fustrated having to deal with all of these super strange and annoying symptoms of Kryptonian puberty and hated the fact that he couldn't even really do much about them either

The only thing that he got similar to human puberty were zits, which would sometimes unexpectedly pop up in the most obvious places on his face, his forehead, chin and cheeks, except they would be slightly bigger than normal small ones.

One time, after getting too many mean comments from bullies for a week at school, he decided to just be brave and pop them. Kara thankfully caught him though and stopped him before he could even do anything. She told him popping Kryptonian zits is the last thing he would want to do since the puss would actually just explode all over the room and create a big gross mess for him to clean up, which would only just make things worse. It's something she had to learn the hard way when she was a teen herself after only popping just one in her bathroom.

She did know a way to calm them down though, and that was with an old Kryptonian recipe that she was taught as a kid. She tried her best to find similar enough ingredients to recreate it again and made it for Jon. He loved the taste of it, which Kara was glad to hear and she even decided to have a plate with him too because of how delicious it is

As he was enjoying the special homemade meal with Kara, the rest of Superfam came into the room and joined them. After getting comfortable, each of them later talked with Jon about their own past experiences back when they had to deal with Kryptonian puberty before too, having lots of laughs about it together. Even Lois, despite her being human, also brought up the old embarrassing moments she had to go through as a young girl as well during puberty.

After hours of chatting together, Jon's zits became smaller like how Kara promised they would after having the meal, which made Jon even happier. Jon began to feel much more better than before about everything that had been happening to him lately and was glad that his family spent time with him that day, sharing their own humiliating stories to help him cope.

The only good thing about all of this, besides that comforting day from his family, was that these crazy affects didn't last too very long for him, only for three months and then he was able to feel normal and a lot more like himself again.

Family headcanon:

When they were a little older (around junior high age), Chris went through a really bad break up with some girl from school over the phone one time and it had ended with a big argument between them (one that was started by her). He was left crying alone in his room after it happened. Jon had heard and saw everything and went to go comfort him. He told his older brother that the girl he was going out with was pretty toxic anyways and that he should realize he deserves better. Chris agreed with him on that, but still couldn't stop thinking about everything since it was still very distressing for him.

So Jon decided to make it a brothers hang out night just for them both, so that Chris can forget about his ex. Jon made big bowls of ice cream sundaes for them both to enjoy, put a few of their favorite movies on to watch together while sitting on Chris' bed and talking about a bunch of their favorite stuff, played some video games with eachother after that and laughed loudly with one another through it all, and later fell asleep hugging eachother.

Lois and Clark saw them both asleep like this, feeling proud of their youngest for being such a good brother to Chris during a hard time like this, and pulled the covers over them to keep warm, kissing them both goodnight on the forehead.

Friendship headcanon:

One time while hanging out and having a sleepover in Kathy's tree house with her, Maya, and Damian, Jon and them were having fun making many art crafts with a bunch of art supplies they had in a bucket. Their worked on peices ended up getting stolen though by a raccoon who just jumped in and left. They chased after the animal together but ended up getting unexpectedly stink sprayed at. Kathy, who was pretty upsetted by this, used her telekinesis to just yank their stuff out of the grip he had on them with his mouth and he ran away. They all went up to the Kent house to get cleaned up and Lois couldn't believe what a complete mess they looked like once she opened the door to them, seeing all four of the kiddos with little branches sticking out all over their hairs, dirt stains on each of their clothes, and then the yucky strong smell that followed them too. She quickly told Clark to bring all of the tomato sauce they had and let the kids take their separate baths. It took a while, but they successfully got all cleaned up in the end and were able to have a laugh with eachother about the crazy situation while sleeping in Jon's room for the night. It's a hilarious memory that none of them forget.

Quirks/hobbies headcanon:

Bites his nails a lot, always brushes his bangs or other parts of his curly hair out of his face a lot and puts it behind his ears, uses a lot of emojis or emoticons to express himself through text more and whenever he doesn't do it, it's easy for his brothers and friends to tell that something is actually wrong with him. He also mixes his meals with other kinds of foods a lot, which most times creates very weird combinations, but he enjoys them since his Kryptonian taste buds actually tastes things differently compared to a humans

Likes/Dislikes headcanon:

Likes:

Science, playing video games with others instead of just by himself all the time (can either be by playing in multiplayer or just having someone by his side to enjoy it with), loves Sunflowers, playing in the farm with his brothers and Krypto, doodling silly stuff in his notebook during class sometimes, talking to Kathy about boys since its fun lol, painting his nails sometimes, being around family and friends, Spider-Man, building Lego sets, especially with his brothers or friends.

Dislikes:

Whenever Kon double dips in sauces that they're supposed to be sharing whenever they're eating out together, since it grosses him out (Kon usually does this on purpose cause he knows that Jon wouldn't want it after that), hates writing, watching scary movies, retying his sneakers again, so he always leaves the shoelaces tied when taking them off and just slips his feet out instead and pushes them back on when going out again.

Thanks for the asks!!! :D

Here's a Jon doodle as a part of the ask too btw since I think it's really cute!

[dykevanny]

how do u see vanessa and vanny's relationship to each otherr (if they have one,,)

depends.

‘Vanny’ is someone vanessa has a complicated relationship to no matter what- wether it’s just a name william calls her or if I’m thinking about vanessa with a dissociative disorder- Vanny as an alter is cool as helll to me.

In that case, well. Vanny showed up when vanessa was still young as a protector, doing what she’s told because that’s what will keep vanessa safe, right? Except that soon enough that’s not the case at all, so after talking through their options, van runs away from home at 15. The two of them have a far more balanced relationship without constant threats, as you might imagine. They’re friends- vanny acts younger than vanessa, so she’s gotten into the habit of doting on the bun like a little sibling. ‘You liked that game? Well, we have time to kill, so…’ ‘hey, what was that food you liked the other day?’ Ness is under the impression she should make things up to van a little bit. She looked after ness for this long, after all..

In their killer rabbit arc though. Things get tough. William was very surprised to see TWO vans rather than one but he uses this to his advantage. To vanessa, he acts more doting, but he’s also subtly threatening a lot of the time. Not so subtle at the time of the emails. Vanny is the one he’s usually around when child murder is occurring- she has to keep those bad memories away from vanessa, after all! And while vanny certainly doesn’t want to do this, she knows what to do in a situation like this. It’s like when she and ness were kids. Do what you’re told and you’ll be okay. Follow orders and you won’t be punished. But even vanny tends to break down. She never wanted this. Vanessa is still suffering, anyhow. William often has to take over when it comes to actually killing.

Post sb-Hw2 era they have a lot to work through, but they’re helping each other heal. Gregory and freddy’s presence is also helpful. Vanny and ness make their appearance theirs again- short hair as per Nessie’s request, and rainbow dye for vanny, of course! With a clothing style they both enjoy and feel comfortable in. Vanessa is the one who decides to don the mask once more to get rid of will for good, and though vanny is hesitant at first she agrees. Killing that glitch is the best way to keep Nessie and the rest of her little family safe, after all.

[cc-cobalt-1043]

My Star wars Au headcannons part 3:

Skywalker family part 2:

Ashoka is the cool aunt to the Skywalker twins, she calls Luke Skyguy Jr and Leia Skygirl, Ashoka also calls Rosie Ladybug

Ashoka has nicknames for all the kids e.g Daniel: little mechanic, Sarah: Supergirl, James: J-man

Padme has the hospital on speed dial and is on a first name basis with most of the staff

Anakin likes to tinker with the family car and their ships and he often shows Luke how they work

Leia watches recordings of Padme when she was a senator, she thinks they're so cool

Either Obi-Wan or Rex and Ashoka babysit the twins and Rosie when Padme and Anakin go out

Trix/Luna/Vault kids:

When Trix first took in Jax, Sami, Eva and Anthony he struggled to get them comfortable around the others but with some help from the other kids and bad batchers they relaxed

The kids used to often get nightmares in the first few weeks after being rescued from the vault but Trix and Luna were always willing to comfort them or give them space if they needed it

Eva was the first to open up about her experience in the vault, this inspired Anthony, Sami and Jax to open up about theirs

Emerie regularly came to check on the kids in the early weeks of Trix and Luna taking them in, her experience with the four while in the vault made things easier for helping them settle in

Eva needs something to cuddle with when she sleeps so Trix got her a few stuffed animals to go with her straw Lula which she renamed Flower

Sami was often scolded for chatting a lot while she was in the vault resulting in her shy and quiet attitude, Trix and Luna often had to encourage her to speak up if something was bothering her or if she needed anything

Sami was the only one of the vault kids who was an older sibling, Baryn, Jax and Anthony were all only children and Eva was the youngest of several siblings

Trix and Luna's relationship began shortly after he was promototed to commander of the 501st and Luna became the new General after Anakin left the jedi order

Their relationship was what made Trix hesitate when Order 66 was issued, thankfully Luna was able to escape and joined the galactic resistance, she and Trix reconciled when Trix defected from the empire and had his chip removed

Jax and Sami arrived at the vault around the same time as each other, Anthony arrived a few months after and Eva showed up a couple of months after him, Baryn arrived roughly 4 months after Eva and Joey only a week after him

Wachowski family part 3

Daniel is autistic while Joey has ADHD

Daniel also has anxiety due to being mistreated by so many people in his past, when he first joined the Wachowski family he spent the first few weeks constantly thinking he'd be thrown out and was surprised when it wasn't the case

A nervous habit of Joey's is that when he's distressed he starts pacing or biting his lips nervously

Daniel stims, when sitting down he usually swings his legs or moves his feet around, when standing he'll typically rock back and forth on his heels (he and Joey both do this) or sometimes just fidgets uncomfortably

Daniel rarely ever has meltdowns but when he does they're typically due to social stress, loud noises (I.e thunder and lightning) or very bright lights but when he does they're exhausting for him as he breaks out into tears and heavy shaking, the others all got pretty good at calming him down during these but Martha and Joey are the best at it

As social as he can be Daniel is still an introvert and when he needs a break he'll typically retreat to his room to recharge his social battery, a good nap or listening to some music on his headphones usually does the trick

Boba isn't the most affectionate person ever but whenever Joey and Daniel are upset or just want affection he is always willing to give it

Lucky (their golden retriever) loves to rest his head on the boy's knees because he gets plenty of head pats and scratches behind the ears and other than the drool on their pants the boys love it when he does it

Joey and sometimes Daniel feed Lucky their vegetables under the table

Lucky is registered as an emotional support animal both for Daniel's anxiety and simply because everyone just feels so much more relaxed when he's around

[that-darn-clown]

y'know what. you get lore on Why William Is Not Normal About That Country Boy (Henry).

on a very basic level, it makes sense: Henry was both William's first real glance at actual Normalcy, as well as the first person in his life (outside of two of his siblings and a handful of teachers) to really show him kindness.

and then, with the base level, when then get to. the more complicated bits.

Henry is also how William learned he was Bi. by sleeping together in college. William Was Unable To Be Normal About That.

ever since Going Out On His Own (going to college), Henry's kinda. always been there. they've always been side by side, you get the idea.

eventually, Henry becomes his...idk how to word it, but basically William's center of how he views things. like, a good chunk of things in William's life are viewed through the lens of either Henry (whether William is fully aware of the fact they reached this point or not) or his family. His View Of Neither Are Healthy.

to go along with the above point (and maybe explain how it reached that point)...uh (pulls out the "jealousy to near worship" quote from the novels)

yeah...William's view of Henry shifted to Very Complicated levels by around the...maybe 1977-1980 mark?

now...how things got Bad:

so...Elizabeth. the result of those two sleeping together one night. both of 'em love her.

people in town start to realize that Liz is very much not adopted and is Biologically related to William. the question is: who's her mom? it's clearly not Claire.

Tammy Schmidt saves both his and Henry's asses. Henry feels worse about the fact that Tammy risked her own reputation for theirs. William could not give less of a fuck. hey, he and Henry aren't outed, right? he just discreetly raises her pay, and just gives her a small thanks, meanwhile Henry's trying to keep the rest of the employees from being assholes and calling her Really Horrible Shit (you can probably guess the specifics), all while being Extremely Fucking Concerned that she did that of her own accord.

Claire starts getting sick of his shit (both his recklessness with reputations and his emotional abuse, manipulation, and general possessiveness over their children). she divorces him and Could Not have made it clearer that their divorce wasn't caused by his and Henry's "affair." this was all on him, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

but do you wanna know how Will viewed it? you wanna know how this Very Normal British Man saw this whole thing?

it's Henry's fault.

it just spirals as the month between Claire divorcing him and Charlie and Sammy's birthday passes. his drinking doesn't help. Henry's divorced, sure, but not due to any bad circumstances; they just discovered they didn't love each other in the romantic sense like they thought they did. and he still had both of the twins. William's not gonna have custody over any of his children by the time this divorce is over. It's Not Fair.

on the night he killed Charlie, he was drunk. going over to Freddy's to confront Henry. whether that meant yelling at him or getting into a fistfight, he wasn't sure, but something was gonna happen. one way or another, Henry was going to understand what he was going through.

and then he gets there, and...Charlie's outside, banging on the doors, trying to get someone to open them.

and, before he even steps out of the car, he gets his idea.

he gets out of his car, his bottle of some kind of alcohol in his right hand. walks up to Charlie, asks what she's doing outside. Charlie just runs up to him and hugs him, tells him why he's out there-

and then it happens. he killed Charlie.

this is already super long, but. long story short: Charlie's murder was the Point of No Return for their relationship. nothing was gonna be the same after that.

other "fun" bits of their relationship that i think about Often:

i think a good part of why Henry hates William so bad is the fact that He Trusted Him. he trusted him when he was grieving his daughter. he trusted William when he said that he'd perform maintenance on the animatronics post-MCI. after all, Henry's having a rough day, it's the least he can do, isn't it? he wanted, so deeply, to believe that he Wouldn't. and then he discovers that Will abused that trust. of course he'd be angry. livid, even.

William, for several years, tried to pull the "This Is Your Fault, But I Don't Hate You For It. I Still Love You :)" thing that he pulled with Mike after Cassidy died. mostly as a way of trying to pull Henry back to him. it uh...failed on that front. but he did succeed in getting Henry to blame himself! (even if this was Ultimately gonna fuck William over later; Henry believes that he should be the one to "fix things" because he thinks it's his fault. so.) so uh...Tasked Failed (Kinda) Successfully??

there have been at least...half a dozen times (between 1987 and 1994) where he kinda (checks notes) Broke Into Henry And Sammy's House To Clean The Place Up (depression bad on both Henry and Sammy's end). neither of them liked this, least of all Sammy (this is why he gets a gun around this time; he's not running the risk of getting killed). how the fuck he managed to get in, however, is something they don't know either.

however....it's also due to this that Henry is under the assumption, and kinda knows, that William won't kill him, despite his Knowledge (of Will's crimes). at some point, before William dies, they do have a confrontation that basically goes (on Henry's end) "Strike me down, Zeus! You don't have the balls!"

Henry, despite being nearly a foot shorter than Will, could honestly beat him in a physical fight and/or kill him if he wanted to. the only reason he doesn't is because he thinks, due to his size, that William could take him down easily (he could not).

uh...might have mentioned this before, but in the Pizza Sim fire, after killing Mike, William immediately made a beeline for Henry and, after one final confrontation with each other, ripped the guy's heart out. while Henry was still alive, mind you.

yeah...these two. Very Normal and Not At All Toxic Yaoi. We Love To See It <3

they make me so inconsolably insane oh my god. henry should be allowed to kill william with swords and knives and bats and clubs and the doohickey that killed shinzo abe