#the realization of the show *possibly* ending with this season hit me while writing this

[inked-pigeon-feet]

Day 1 - TDP to Me

I love this show with all my heart. I picked it up after I had watched Voltron I think around sometime Nov 2018 and loved the first season. Then the second and third season came out and loved it even more. I remember drawing the characters on my school worksheets and practically talking my friend's ear off about the show and how she just really needs to watch it. Come to learn she didn't have a Netflix subscription at the time :( but I did rope my siblings into the show :D hi @ive-completely-given-up!! At the time this show came out I was in my fantasy craze. Reading Wings of Fire, Eragon, even some werewolf book I can't even remember the title of. It was all I would read. I hadn't read much, just here and there. I think that's what drew me into The Dragon Prince. The show felt like a storybook that was being read to me with witty and charming characters, interactions with one another that felt natural and even relatable and awesome fight scenes. The world building is amazing! C'mon it's got sick dragons and very unique elves, they've got horns! Same going for the representation. I cherish those first 3 seasons as I really don't know who I'd be without having watched TDP. I started to draw again, this time more people of color and pushing myself out of my comfort zone with my art. My style of art changed with the show's influence. I even started to write for myself, especially during the pandemic. This show got me through that, along with multiple arc 1 re-watches at the time. The scenery and animation also drew me in as I am a sucker for animated shows and movies. I appreciate everything that goes into making anything animated and will always be down to watch a cartoon. Also I love how mature this show is, the lessons within the episodes within the story, the darker each season has become; almost growing along with me. I genuinely wish I could watch this show for the first time again, nothing (at least I don't think) will ever compare to this show and its fantastic writing. I think it has actually changed me and the way I view stories/storytelling. My fantasy standards have gotten a lot pickier.

The fandom is possibly the greatest fandom I've ever been in. I know I mostly just re-blog stuff, leaving silly comments in the tags, and only now have started to make my own posts but this is such a good fandom imo. Of course drama and sock puppet accounts are inevitable but I hardly see it/block the people who start it (I love you block button <3). But the interaction, the fanart, the fanfics, the metas, the bingo cards, the predictions, everything make this fandom just a nice place to be. as well as seeing people just as insane as you :) The Dragon Prince is a show that delves into the complexities of choices. The consequences and action, the selfishness or the selflessness, the thread that tangles lives up, for better or for worse. Characters becoming who they want to be and who they may have despised. The messiness of anger and sadness, the earnestness of love and happiness. It is about love and loss, grief and joy, family and bonds, sisters and brothers. It is about the journeys that we take and the people we affect in our lives and the effects of our words and actions. Its wanting to make the world a better place not for yourself but for the future as well. It is about fighting even when it is tiring, it is hope that refuses to diminish. It is the wanting to live and thrive that make this show spectacular. I love this show in it's entirety with my whole heart. I'll be sad when this show ends, whether it's this season or the next 3, and I can't recommend it enough to friends and family. I love you, The Dragon Prince.

[brucebocchi]

Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 3: #10-6

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here and part 2 here.

I didn't mean to drag this out quite so much, but I ended up writing a TON for the top 10, so for the sake of everyone's attention spans (and so I can buy some time to finish my top two) I broke it up into two more posts.

​ALSO! I've embedded a link to each show's OP in the title of each entry. I wanted to give more of a visual element to each show outside of the header images, plus there have been some incredible OPs this year. I've gone back and edited them into the prior posts as well.

10. Trigun Stampede

It’s funny, I had fond memories of watching Trigun on Adult Swim in my adolescence, to the point where I used to count it among my all-time favorite anime for a while, but I didn't realize until this year that I hadn't actually sat down and watched it from beginning to end. It’s honestly a very uneven watch, and it’s clearly split into two parts: The first, a dieselpunk western revolving around a mysterious goofball with a big-ass gun and a bounty on his head, and the second a slightly more somber revenge quest as he is forced to survive his way past a rogues gallery while vowing not to take any lives. Still, it was a hit among western anime fans for a reason, and it was formative to me even back when I thought anime was kinda cringe.

Trigun Stampede is far from a faithful reinterpretation of Yasuhiro Nightow’s manga nor of the original Madhouse production. Meryl Stryfe is no longer a jaded veteran insurance adjuster but a much younger muckraking journalist. She’s no longer tailed by the gentle giantess Milly Thompson, but rather following her senpai, the gruff, bleary-eyed Roberto De Niro (the names in Trigun have always rocked). Nicholas D. Wolfwood isn’t an affable priest with a dark past; he’s all dark past now. And Vash the Stampede, now rocking a fuckboy undercut, is less of a mercurial wisecracker with a soft side and more of a reluctant gunman freaking it in a sensitive style. 

Stampede wastes no time differentiating itself from any previous version of Trigun. Vash’s history is no longer a mystery waiting to be uncovered; it’s a driving factor of the plot as his brother Knives seeks revenge on humankind for their use and exploitation of “plants,” an alien race to which the two seem to be connected, as an energy source. This was always an element of the original anime that I felt went unexplored, so it was fascinating to see Stampede dive right in. It’s a great introduction to the story for people who haven’t seen the original, and full of unexpected turns for existing fans. It’s still built on the bones of Trigun as we know it, but it is very much its own thing. 

People made a lot of hay about Vash’s new appearance, but I think it works. The huge pleather trench coat, spiky flat-top, and tiny glasses remain an iconic 90s design, but I believe the 90s is where it belongs. This take on Vash is just as capable but much more self-effacing, tortured, and averse to violence. This is a younger Vash, and it’s clear that his history with Knives is a much fresher wound, rather than the dull, nagging ache in the original. This is a gentler (but no less talented) Vash, so I think the softboy look suits him this time around.

I also spent most of the season quietly insisting to myself that the original version of Meryl is much better (and cuter) than the Stampede variant, and I still stand by that, but the updated version definitely grew on me. I mean, just look at that hat. But it’s clear from the jump that Stampede’s first season is very early in this version of the Trigun story (you may notice that the bounty on Vash’s head is much, much less than the famous 60 billion double-dollars), and Meryl has some growing to do (and presumably a whole lot of professional frustration) before she becomes something like the one we knew and loved around the turn of the 21st Century.

I’m still yet to watch Beastars, but it’s immediately apparent why Studio Orange was entrusted with the Trigun IP. This show looks incredible. This is some of the best CG animation I’ve ever seen outside of a Pixar or Spider-Verse movie. Characters are amazingly expressive and oscillate between naturalistic, weighty movement and cartoony flailing. Action scenes are inventive and dynamic and stand up to even the wildest sakuga. And yet, it still looks like an anime. It still retains the classic 24fps look and even occasionally trades in the CGI for hand-drawn animation for effect. We are long past the botched Berserk revival: This is what CGI anime should look like.

It’s plainly obvious that Trigun has always carried influences from landmark western media like Mad Max and Dune (not to mention Fist of the North Star, but that one always wore its Mad Max influence on its sleeve), so it’s been an unexpected delight to see those influences take a new shape now that both franchises have seen major updates since the last iteration of Trigun went off the air. For all of the alien technology and technicolor glowing lights, Trigun takes place entirely in a desert setting, and it’s impossible to see these chase scenes and not immediately think of Fury Road, or halfway expect to see Villanueve’s take on the Fremen popping out of the dust clouds. 

Stampede is a very welcome entry to a franchise long believed to be well and truly over, and the more eyeballs on Trigun, the better. It’s evident by the end of this season that this take on the story is only just beginning, and it has already taken unexpected departures from the story as we already knew it. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here, but that’s mostly because we have confirmation that Milly will be in the next season. It can’t get here quickly enough.

9. Insomniacs After School

I watched and read a frankly absurd amount of romance-centric anime and manga this year, especially of the slice-of-life variety, to the point where even by the early summer I thought I'd had my fill. I'm overjoyed to say that Insomniacs After School proved me dead wrong.

What a treat this was. It's a simple enough premise: A boy with insomnia is sent on an errand to his high school’s abandoned observatory, where he finds a classmate sleeping because she suffers from insomnia as well. They quickly find out that the observatory is a perfectly quiet environment for the both of them, and that they actually get restful sleep around one another. In order to get away with making use of the area, they resurrect the school’s astronomy club and find a genuine love for astrophotography and, you guessed it, one another.

You couldn’t have picked a more apt studio to adapt this work than Liden Films. Call of the Night made a splash last year for its saturated, vibey nightscapes, and Insomniacs’ gorgeous astral visuals carry that mantle. The nighttime backdrops of the quiet suburbs, wide-open beaches, and lush countryside are nothing short of stunning, and Isaki’s adolescent wonder at the world’s hidden beauties reminded me, and I do not say this lightly, of something Miyazaki would’ve animated.

On a couple of occasions this year, I’ve been able to step back from an anime, take a breath, and simply say “That was beautiful.” Insomniacs gave me one such occasion. Even putting the visuals aside, the story itself is lovely and would have made this the feel-good anime of the year, if not for the next entry on this ranking. I would have more to say, but Insomniacs After School speaks for itself. Give it a shot.

8. Skip and Loafer

There are so many standalone adjectives I could use to describe this one, and most of them are ones that would normally make me want to impulsively run the other way like “comfy,” “feel-good,” “wholesome,” what have you, but I think the most comprehensively I can boil it down to a single word is “lovely.” Everything about it just gives you the warm fuzzies, and almost makes me think that the “I want more stories with no conflict” dorks might actually be onto something.

It’s a simple one: Mitsumi, a dorky teenage go-getter with her entire life planned out, moves to Tokyo from her no-horse beach town to attend one of the country’s best prep schools, but much like everyone who played the first two hours of Persona 5, she quickly gets lost in Shibuya’s subway station on the first day of school. She runs into Sousuke Shima, a laid-back boy from the same school who’s also running late, because that’s, like, what he does, and manages to wrangle him into running to school with her.

Mitsumi quickly draws attention from her classmates, not only from delivering a speech as the incoming class representative (and subsequently barfing all over her teacher), but because she inadvertently made fast friends with the hottest, most popular first-year in the school. This attracts the attention of social climbers and jealous hangers-on, but Mitsumi hardly notices. She’s used to knowing everyone in her school back home, so she wastes no time reaching out and seeing what’s up with anyone who’ll give her the time of day.

A lot of Skip and Loafer revolves around the roles for which we think we’re destined in a controlled social environment like high school, and how easily the preconceptions you have of other people can be shattered if you just get to, like, talk to them for 20 seconds. Mitsumi’s friend group quickly fills itself out with people who wouldn’t give each other so much as a passing glance at first, but come together so naturally that you almost can’t believe they weren’t friends already.

Shima, for his part, also struggles with those preconceptions; for as laid-back as he seems on the surface, he’s a habitual people pleaser and is constantly playing a role. He’s so caught up in the performance that he doesn’t quite know what’s going on half the time or how he really feels about most things. Mitsumi is so naturally magnetic, though, that he does seem to genuinely enjoy his time with her, and vice versa. You can see where this is headed, if the gorgeously-animated dances they do together in the OP weren’t enough of a tell.

Everything about Skip and Loafer is just downright pleasant. Character models are simple and sketchy, the color palette is awash in pastels and neutral tones, and the soundtrack is peppy and whimsical. It’s a warm hug of a series, and at no point does it feel cloying or manipulative. High school slice-of-life is pretty bloated as a genre, and I watched a ton of those this year, but there’s just something so charming and magnetic about Skip and Loafer that instills in me a sort of false nostalgia for the ideal high school experience I never had.

Also: Nao-chan. Exceptional trans representation. We do not get enough of that in anime and she is a breath of fresh fucking air. I would die for her.

7. The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You

And now for something much less wholesome.

I really don’t seek out harem anime. Tenchi Muyo was formative to me as a tween, and a rewatch last year ended up being a major catalyst in getting me back into anime, but despite it being widely considered the second-ever harem anime, it hasn’t left much of a legacy in the ones that followed. Harem anime from the 00s onward has largely been formulaic wish-fulfillment slop that runs itself in circles as a perpetual money-making machine rather than developing any sort of plot (see: Hina, Love and Girlfriend, Rent-a-). I know I covered Girlfriend Girlfriend earlier, and while that’s nothing like Tenchi either, it does scratch an ever-present itch for stupid, madcap, relentless anime bullshit.

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, [...] Really Love You, meanwhile, sees that itch and takes a fucking chainsaw to it. To say everything about it is over-the-top would be an understatement: The top is Hyakkano’s floor. This show gives you everything you could ever want in a harem comedy, but to the extreme: It is your dad making you smoke the whole carton. It is Hell’s donut machine, and you are Homer Simpson. Satire is often at its best when it pushes the boundaries of absurdity, and 100 Girlfriends revels in that push like a horny bulldozer. This is not genre subversion, it’s genre explosion.

The headcount isn’t the only wildly outsized element of this series; every single member of the titular harem, each a tick on the checklist of every -dere archetype you can imagine, pushes the slider of each of their character tropes so far to the right it’s breaking the track. The deredere is a ball of deranged horniness, the tsundere betrays her intentions so compulsively that she’s functionally incapable of lying, and the kuudere is so robotically devoted to pure efficiency that it’s salient to mention that her name is literally pronounced “Nano A.I.” If you can think of an anime girl archetype, she is in this (or will be in future seasons), and she is the apotheosis.

And yet, this show still bothers to make each one of them an actual character. Harem anime has such a low bar to clear on that front, yet most entries in the genre still bang their dicks against it. Hyakkano's titular girlfriends, at least the ones introduced in the first season, are actual characters with actual backgrounds, actual motivations, actual growth, and actual reasons to like the protagonist beside the premise. They’re all founded on stock anime tropes, to be sure, but the original manga’s author actually put in the work to give them, you know, personalities. And above almost all else, they actually like each other too! This isn’t exactly a full-on polycule (though two of the girls are prone to making out with each other on occasion), but for as deeply weird as this family unit is on paper, they actually come across as a group of people who love and care for each other rather than everyone cattily jockeying for the same position. 

And not for nothing, but Rentaro is easily one of the best harem protagonists I’ve ever seen, and again, this is coming from a Tenchi Muyo fan. I do enjoy Naoya’s over-the-top earnestness in Girlfriend Girlfriend, but Rentaro is the gigachad version. He is exceedingly patient, kind, and understanding of each of these girls’ unique quirks and qualities and quickly grows to learn to manage them in conflict and help them work through their insecurities, and he loves them back in kind and puts in the work to make equal time for each of them. He doesn’t want to “fix” these girls; he sees them for who they are and proactively does everything in his power to accommodate them. He's like if Tadano from Komi Can’t Communicate actually got the harem he deserved. Putting aside the fact that he’s, y’know, 100-timing his girlfriends, he comes across as just a really good partner.

I also want to be clear: For its rampant, fanservice-laden anime bullshit, this show is genuinely hilarious. It’s not some kind of “how did this shit even get made” trainwreck; it is a comedy first and foremost, and the comedy hits exactly as intended. The comic pacing is buckwild, the visual gags are so rampant that they’re almost difficult to keep up with, and the translators, at least in the version I watched, did an outstanding job of localizing the constant wordplay. It’s also so unapologetic in its horniness that you can’t help but admire it a bit; 100 Girlfriends knows exactly what it’s about, and it dares you to say something.

There’s a very good chance this won’t be for you. 100 Girlfriends is constantly pushing the boundaries of good taste, but never in an offensive way and never truly at its characters’ expense. Geoff Thew calls it the “most 'harem' harem anime,” but I'd argue that it’s the most "anime" anime: It is every trope you’ve ever seen in romcom anime cranked up to a thousand and smushed up against your nose. This shit hits like Panera lemonade. It is peak trash. If you have a tolerance for anime bullshit, this show may very well test that, but I still cannot recommend it enough.

6. Heavenly Delusion

Didn’t think I’d be getting into more than one post-apocalyptic anime this year, but I’d seen this one recommended so many times that I felt this list would be incomplete if I didn’t watch it. Don’t ask me about Pluto.

Heavenly Delusion (Hulu lists it under its Japanese title, Tengoku Daimakyo, for some reason) splits its runtime between two different stories: The first, a pair of young travelers making their way across a ruined Japan in search of nebulous goals neither is sure even exist; the second surrounding a group of adolescents in an unnervingly idyllic walled garden in some sort of school setting. The narrative flips between these two sporadically, rarely ever showing its hand in how they are even remotely connected.

On the post-apocalypse side, we follow Maru and his bodyguard-for-hire, Kiruko, as they trek across the country to deliver Maru to someplace called “Heaven,” while at the same time, Kiruko is in search of a pair of men from their youth. They are often beset by bandits, cults, and most crucially, horrifying monsters called “Man-Eaters,” which Maru has the unique ability to kill. On the school side, we see a group of gender-ambiguous kids in an enclosed space, constantly monitored and kept in a very controlled environment. Everything feels… wrong. Nobody seems entirely human. There is a lingering and seemingly taboo curiosity about what lies outside the walls. I hesitate to say any more.

There is phenomenal human drama in here, and sparks so many conversations about transhumanism and human nature, gender, trauma, community, all things I’m not smart enough to really dive into. But to even address these topics here is to give the game away, and Heavenly Delusion is a story better left unspoiled, even if, a full season in, I’m still not 100% sure what’s going on.

This show is gorgeous in ways I’m still struggling to articulate. The character designs, animation, lighting, and cinematography are so immaculate that I repeatedly had to remind myself that I wasn't watching a movie. Heavenly Delusion looks like a grungy Shinkai film: Character models are immaculately realized and fluidly animated, the light and shadow effects are some of the best I’ve ever seen in TV animation, and action sequences are visceral and unpredictable. Maybe all I needed to say is that it was made by much of the same Production IG staff in charge of Psycho-Pass.

I want to say as little about what happens as possible, because the mystery is the main draw of Heavenly Delusion, but I feel the need to warn that there is a very dark and sour turn near the end of the season in the form of some strongly implied sexual violence. It was thematically unnecessary, and once that side of things is resolved, everyone just kinda… moves past it. It doesn’t ruin the show, I still recommend it heartily, but be forewarned. I found it upsetting, but more in the “did this REALLY need to be in there?” sense. The mounting tension and slowly-unfolding existential horror in this series are otherwise expertly woven into the narrative, and this part landed with a wet thud.

This is a much longer story than most of the season would have you believe, and it ends with far more questions than answers. One side of the story leaves off with an open end, and the other with a massive cliffhanger, which left me a little cold but with interest piqued for the next season. For what it is right now, though, Heavenly Delusion is a nearly perfect, endlessly thought-provoking mystery and one of the most gorgeously ugly things I’ve seen this year.

[bonesxbows]

Act Naturally - Chapter 2 (Cooper Howard x Reader)

Masterlist

While exploring an old section of Hollywood, the two of you stumble upon an old advertisement for a cowboy movie. But the man on the poster looks suspiciously a lot like Cooper, even down to the same smile. But it couldn't possibly be him...right?

(WARNINGS) - slight gore/blood

a part 2 was requested for this by @its-deputy-hunting-season , they wanted Cooper trying to explain horses to the reader, but my brain read that and went "Yes but make it sad" so now y'all get to suffer with me. I don't write angst that much lol so hopefully I still did this idea justice. Sorry for the sad ending :)

Banners by @strangergraphics

It had been a few weeks since the two of you had left old Hollywood on the horizon and you had learned a little more about Cooper’s past. Since then it had been the usual line of business for the two of you; claiming bounties, scavenging, and making camp in husks of pre-war buildings every night. But everything took a turn for the worst when a radstorm began to follow the two of you like a lost puppy. 

It brought no rain with it, just dust clouds and sickly green lightning that made the earth and sky shudder every few minutes. The wind whipped sand around your ankles and in front of your eyes and your entire surroundings were smothered in a thick green haze that blotched out everything except a few feet in front of you. You were traveling blind. 

The storm stayed on your heels for a couple of days and still showed no signs of weakening or dissipating. Cooper was constantly disgruntled at the state of the weather, which you learned to put up with after the second day. However, your body grew more and more weary the farther you traveled through the green mist. First, it started with body aches that kept you up at night and then you started to notice strands of your hair sticking to whatever you had decided to use as a pillow. Now you could barely make it through a day without wanting to just collapse and take a nap right in the sand dunes. Cooper didn't seem to notice, most of his attention was set on finding a way out of the storm. However, he did slow down when you started to significantly lag behind him. 

“C’mon darlin’, we got places to be. Lollygaggin’ in this muck ain’t gonna do you any favors,” he told you, hoping to put a fire back into your step. The last thing he wanted was for you to end up looking like him. Anyone but you. 

“I know Cooper, I’m trying. I just…feel exhausted.” you were barely able to drag your feet through the sand and keeping your head up was becoming too much. 

“Hm. we’ll take a load off somewhere for now, alright? Soon as I find somewhere out of this fuckin’ wind,” he said more to himself than to you, but you heard him nonetheless. Time seemed to go in slow motion but you remembered Cooper grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you. He wasn’t trying to be rough but you still knew your whole arm would be aching tomorrow with the way he was pulling you. You couldn’t hold any of your own weight except only to stay upright and move your feet enough to keep up with him, Cooper was doing most of the work in hauling you across the sand. 

Eventually, he placed you on a couch. Who’s couch and where this couch was you didn’t know, but you were grateful to finally be resting somewhere and off of your feet. You wanted to close your eyes immediately as soon as your head hit the oddly hard couch cushion but Cooper kept you awake. 

“I need ya to stay ‘wake for a little while sweetheart. Talk to me, how do you feel?” he asked you as he moved your legs to sit down on the couch with you, placing your feet on top of his lap once he was settled. He mindlessly grabbed your hand and ran his calloused finger over your soft skin. He loved touching your skin at any chance he could get more than he realized. A worrying itch nagged at the back of his mind that this could be the last chance he would get to feel the softness of your unirradiated skin. He should have done something, anything, sooner. Should have paid attention the the symptoms more. Should have protected you better. Should have, should have, should have. But he forced himself to brush the anxiety off. He could mentally kick himself later when you didn’t need his full attention.

“I feel like not answering a bunch of questions, if it’s all the same to you.” you turned your face towards the back of the couch, covering your face with your other arm that Cooper didn’t have a hold of. His concerns eased up a little at knowing that you still had enough spunk left in you to be a pain in his ass. 

“Joke all you want but I’m serious. I need to know how bad it is.” he relented, dropping his usual accent just a little to convey that this wasn’t the best time for jokes and sarcasm. 

You sighed and explained to him how you had been feeling recently, including every detail you could remember. His last glimmer of hope that you were just fatigued from travel was snuffed out when you mentioned the clumps of hair you were losing in your sleep. He went silent for a while after that and you almost fell asleep but a rage of coughs climbing up your throat stopped you. You bolted up and choked out hacks and coughs that racked through your whole body. Cooper tried to hand you a can of water to ease your suffering but you waved his assistance off. A particularly rough cough rattled the inside of your throat and by the end of it, you could feel a wetness dripping from your nose and running down your upper lip. You instinctively stuck your tongue out to halt the stream but immediately regretted that decision when the taste of iron coated your taste buds, causing you to gag and spit out the blood. You wiped the back of your hand under your nose and your skin was covered in the dark red liquid when you pulled it away. You looked at Cooper and he was already prepared, gently placing a rag on your face to soak up the blood. His brow was furrowed but his eyes were glazed with worry as he stared at you while he held the material under your nose. Half of it was already becoming stained. 

“It’s just a nosebleed Coop. I’m okay,” you told him, hoping to ease his concern. You'd never seen him so worried about something before. 

“You are the farthest thing from okay right now darlin’.” he grabbed your hand with his other one and laced your fingers through his, squeezing hard. You looked down at the red rag under your face and took a deep breath through your mouth. If he was this concerned about your current situation maybe it was worse than you originally thought. 

“Am I…am I dying?” you asked in a small voice. 

“No.”

“But-”

“You’re not dyin’, alright? Unfortunately for you you’re stuck ‘ere with me for the long haul whether you like it or not.” he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince you. You nodded and let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. It was the only response you could manage. 

Cooper pulled the rag away from your face for a moment to check if your nose had clotted yet or not and your body decided to answer his question in the worst way possible. You dry heaved once, twice, and on the third time, you instinctively turned your head away from the couch and away from Cooper as you retched out warm, half-congealed blood. The expulsion caused your nose to start bleeding again with a renowned vigor, thoroughly covering the entire lower half of your face in warm sticky crimson. 

He was quick to start cleaning up your face, caring more about your comfort than the mess on the floor. He had used the untouched can of water to wet the rag, mopping up the unusually thin liquid from your skin. Whatever color the towel had been before today was lost beneath the layers of blood. 

The two of you were silent while he worked. You didn’t know what the appropriate response was to having someone clean your face for you after you had just vomited up blood. 

“Sorry.” was the only thing you mumbled out, still not sure what to say but hating the silence hanging in the air. It was suffocating. 

“You ain’t got anything to be apologizin’ for so quit it while you’re ahead.” his accent was back and he was laying it on thick, whether it was for your sake or just a habit of his to increase its intensity in stressful situations you couldn’t tell. He was more or less satisfied with his clean-up job so he chucked the rag across the room, discarding it. 

“Can I please take a nap now?” you asked. The effort from throwing up had only made your exhaustion worse, you could practically feel the discoloration underneath your eyes. 

“No. I need you to stay awake for a good while longer sweetheart. No sleepin’ yet.”

You whined but didn’t protest. Instead of laying back down you twisted your body so that you were sitting next to Cooper and you leaned your head against his shoulder. Once you were comfortable and stopped shifting around he looped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. You sighed and inhaled the scent of duster as you buried your head into the side of his chest. The comforting swirl of gunpowder, old leather, and sweat wafted through your nose and brought you a sense of peace. Though there was an unusual undertone of copper mixed in, likely from the blood still caked inside your nostrils. 

“Talk to me then so I don’t fall asleep.” you looked up at him, keeping your eyes open so as to not tempt your body with the idea of slumber. Your body ached for the relieving calmness of sleep but if he thought you shouldn’t then you didn’t want to find out why. 

“‘Bout what?”

“Anything. Tell me about life before the bombs.” you picked at your fingernails to keep your hands occupied. 

“Why of all things is that what you want to talk about?” his voice sounded gruff, as if just mentioning the subject had bristled his feathers. 

“I still can’t get that old theater out of my mind. It’s been making me think about how life used to be. I can’t imagine a world without so much violence. Was it really so peaceful back then that people had enough free time to watch pictures on a screen for hours?” you let your curiosity spill out, the more you let your mind run with questions the less likely you were to fall into the jaws of exhaustion. 

He hated talking about it, you knew that. His outburst of anger last time was all the proof you needed to know that, but maybe, just maybe, you could get him to talk about it to you if you asked the right questions and kept his mind off of the bad memories. 

“It wasn’t all canned peaches and ice cream sundaes, that world was just as violent as this one is now, just a different kind. You either had to have money or power to fuck with people, but that didn’ slow down nobody. The folks watchin’ the pictures, as you like to call them, were usually the ones gettin’ fucked, they just liked to pretend they didn’ know half the time. Or that a fake hero in that movin’ picture could save them from their real problems.” if anyone else but you had asked about his past life he would have politely told them where they could shove their questions, but not you. You were his weakness, whether he liked it or not. He’d do anything for you. If satisfying your curiosity made you happy then he’d gladly tell you about anything. 

“So was any of it true? I mean, what about yours? The ones you were in? Were they all just made-up stories to placate people's minds?” you furrowed your brow, hating the idea of all of it being just some made-up bullshit fed to people to make them happy. It sounded like the stories you would hear being played on the old radios in town, about fantasy heroes playing dress up and solving problems like all it took to fix everything was the right costume. Were these moving pictures just the same thing? 

“Depends what you mean by true. I will tell you what though, cowboys were definitely real. Now were they the same as the ones in the films? That depends on the man. But they were out there, as real as the wind howlin’ outside.”

“What’s a cowboy? Sounds like a bad case of a mutated brahmin.” the mental image made you blanch, causing bile to rise in the back of your throat that almost made you throw up again. 

He laughed. You could feel the rumble through his chest and the sound made you smile subconsciously. He didn’t laugh enough in your opinion, you fell in love with the sound soon after you first met him. But you let him continue on explaining, your curiosity winning out over your swooning. 

“It’s not what it sounds like, darlin’. It's more like a…a bounty hunter. Sort of. Like a keeper-of-the-peace gunslinger. Someone who protected the weak and innocent.” he explained. 

“And they made movies about them?” 

“Sure did. I would know, most of the films I were in was about cowboys and some such. Even had a go at the lifestyle before the world was set alight.” his voice trailed off towards the end of his sentence. You looked up at him and could see his eyes glaze over with that far-away look he would get when he was living in a memory. But he had reinvigorated your curiosity. 

“Wait, you were a real cowboy? What was that like?” you asked. He shifted his eyes down to you and he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the edges of his mouth when he saw the way your eyes gleamed like a child’s; filled with wonder and captivation. He stirred the back of his mind to find his storytelling antics, the ones that had amused Janey all those decades ago. 

“Well you see it was like this; I had myself a small ranch up near Bakersfield. Just me, my dog, and my little girl. Had ourselves some chickens, she liked to chase ‘em around the yard, and our horse. Sugarfoot. Name was Janey’s idea but I could never say no to her so Sugarfoot she was from then henceforth. Sweet and gentle as anything. Never minded the California heat neither. Taught Janey rope tricks on that land and rode Sugarfoot ‘round til the sun would set. Maybe I was runnin’ from the end of the world, or maybe I was tryin’ to outlive it, or maybe I had just stopped carin’ by that point. The why doesn’t matter much now, the place may be long destroyed but I’ll hold on to those last memories I have of my little girl til the day I eat dirt.”

“It sounded lovely, Coop. I wish I could have seen it.” his hold on you became a little tighter, but the reason for it was only known to him and him alone. You could guess though that thinking about everything he had lost was taking its toll on his psyche. 

“Tell me more about Sugarfoot. She was a horse, you said?” you tried to get his mind off of his daughter. You knew bits and pieces about her and what had happened, but you knew for certain that Cooper was still looking for her, driven by a sense of hope that she would still be out there somewhere waiting for him. 

“Yeah. Though I guess you don’t know what that is, do you?” he asked, and you shook your head. Multiple times now you had heard mention of the animal, but you only had a name and no mental image to go with it. “Hm. Well, it’s kinda like a radstag, ‘cept bigger. Studier. You could ride ‘em and have them haul stuff for you. They were muscular ‘nough that they could do just about anything. Had a tail made of hair and a trail of it down its neck. Janey liked to braid it and decorate it with flowers. Anyways it snorted like a brahmin but screeched like a…well I’ve never heard another animal make the noises horses were known for but closest I can think of is a feral, just not so human sounding.” he tried to explain, attempting simplify his imagery even more when he could see you getting more and more confused with each added detail. 

“...so you rode around on a hairy muscular radstag with flowers in its hair that sounded like a snorting feral?” the mental image he was trying to paint for you was not helping your confusion. He couldn't help the laugh that echoed through his chest. 

“When you put it like that you make it sound like a goddamn abomination. It’s not like that but it’s hard to explain. I’ll see if I can scrounge up an old photo for you one day, that’ll explain this all easier. But they were more majestic than you're thinkin’.”

“I’d like that,” you said, smiling. You curled into his chest more, your exhaustion forcing you to put all of your weight on him. The peaceful image of Cooper’s farm was making your eyelids heavy again but you soldiered on and kept them open. “I hope I can see one, one day. Do you think any of them survived?” you asked, trying to keep the conversation going to keep yourself awake. Cooper took notice of the way you leaned against him and a frown crept onto his face, but he didn’t let his voice waver. 

“Maybe, who knows sweetheart. Maybe we’ll run into ol’ Sugarfoot next time we travel through the California hills. Make our own little plot of land out there.” it was a pipe dream, never bound to happen, but he would keep the dream alive for you for now. Anything to keep your mind focused on happy thoughts. 

There was a smile on your face as the fight became too difficult and your eyes finally fluttered shut. Sleep overtook your brain so much so that you didn’t even flinch when blood started to pour from your nose again. Your lips parted as you breathed out and crimson started to drip from your open mouth. Slowly at first, but then your lips started to blister and the blood began to flow vigorously, mixing with the blood from your nose. The collar of your shirt was starting to stain a dark red, but still, you didn’t even twitch. Red, raw, and oozing blisters began to eat at your skin, your beautiful, smooth-like-satin skin that Cooper had loved so much. All he could do was sigh as he listened to your breathing become more ragged as the minutes ticked by. His body was holding on to yours and his mind was holding on to the idealistic images he had been telling you about mere seconds before. He refused to take his arms off of you. 

[avidbeader]

I bought and read the first of the "Dead Boy Detectives" comics collections yesterday, because I was curious about what else they'd done to adapt the series for television besides the necessary aging up of the characters. (Kind of hard to portray the idea of ageless ghosts in a live-action program when your main characters are twelve.)

Doing a keep-reading for both spoilers and because I have no idea how long this might get.

One of the first things I noticed with reading "Free Country" was how child-like Edwin and Charles' thought processes were: the constant references to the detective stories they'd read, being a bit too trusting of others at first. The first DBD trade left off a lot of detective references other than Charles imitating 1920s-30s noir stories in his notes. It's amusing to see them snipe at each other in those notes, especially over the next thing that I saw. Comics Charles in the first stories is clearly a boy who was on the brink of discovering teen hormones and seems very stuck there. He is all about the girls and Edwin is very impatient with it. I won't know until I read more if the comics if they move into queer territory (or even let the boys grow mentally as their experience widens), but right now Edwin strikes me less as being gay and from a repressed upbringing and more as simply a boy who has not yet gotten past the stage of seeing romance in general as something grownups do. With the older characters, there is absolutely nothing holding the TV team back from exploring queer relationships and I do think they have done an excellent job so far. Charles at this point seems to be het but absolutely okay with LGBTQ+ people and issues - until it was mentioned that he was defending a Pakistani boy from the bullies in his era, my first assumption was that the other boy might be attacked on the basis of being perceived as queer. I so very much want a second season because it would be all too easy to tip Charles' general protectiveness of Edwin and flashes of jealousy into realizing that maybe his own feelings are a little more than platonic.

Edwin's development is just as excellent. He spends so much time and effort in repressing his feelings, because that was the era he grew up in and decades in Hell didn't give him much time for introspection. He keeps his compliments to Charles about their work but will reassure Charles in a heartbeat that he won't let Death separate them if she catches them. He spends the first part of the season being confronted with the possibility of romantic/sexual feelings coming from Monty or the Cat King and then the Cat King makes the subtext text by flinging the illusion of Charles in Edwin's face. And in what I think is one of the smartest moves in the writing, Edwin tries to talk about what he's feeling with Monty and Monty makes his move. Edwin's response is gentle but determined as he says that these new and terrifying feelings are not for Monty, and while Monty is clearly hurt, they get past it enough to keep talking. I think that experience is part of what makes Edwin brave enough to admit his feelings to Charles (yes, on top of the possibility that things are going to end up in the worst possible way as the demon is chasing them). And because Charles is a good and kind and generous soul who really does put Edwin at the top of people he loves and wants to protect, he says exactly the right things to make sure Edwin knows that he's not mad or put off by the confession.

The other major factor in the comics so far is Crystal. I love the changes to her character as, like our boys, she's older. She's had much more time in the toxic environment her parents created (judging from the brief glimpses we get in the show) to absorb their behaviors. Assuming that the memories she got from David are true (as Edwin said, demons lie and David had plenty of time to make fake memories if that's a thing he can do), then being hit with a giant reset button and dropped in the laps of two good-hearted lads was the absolute best thing that could have happened to her. I'm glad that David is only temporarily interred, as Crystal is getting close to being dangerously overpowered at a storytelling level by the end of the first season. It'll be fascinating to watch the possibilities if we get a second season: the price for getting David out of her life for good being giving up some of this extra power? Learning that she can only achieve that level when her friends are in mortal danger? Giving up that power in exchange for Niko's return? She's not in the comics yet (if she ever appears in them at all), but I fully expect we'll get Niko back in some capacity in a second season. Which means everyone who hasn't watched DBD but read all of this blather anyway....go. Watch. Add to the numbers so Netflix will renew.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S06E15

So, as I’m sure a lot of people have already figured out, we just watched the intended season finale. CityTV, you better hope I never get to cross that ocean. I mean, every season finale aside from the two where Peter Mitchell was in charge (coincidence?) were run of the mill episodes which could have fit anywhere in the season. Maybe it will be fitting for this season to start and end with viewers wondering what they watched. But I’m getting ahead of myself here and I might be wrong. Let’s focus on 15 which may very well be the best episode of the season for me, probably tied with S06E04.

The spoiled scene with Charlie and Sarah’s mentioned anniversary. Rex totally wants to stay with Jesse after their “celebration”. I’m trying to figure whether Jesse is pretending to be naive or is actually being naive about it. Or if the whole response is the writers being unable to outright say that Charlie and Sarah really spent their anniversary having sex all night.

Speaking of, two years, Charlie Hudson? What are you waiting for, an epiphany to hit you in the head? Oh, wait.

What do you mean, we didn’t save the day? There’s a dead woman? Huh? 

Nice bomb explosion by the way.

“My bosses are gonna hate this but tell me more”. lol Jesse

How did we end up as security detail for the woman who might become prime minister?

Look, I like when there’s a case where they’re toying with supernatural elements. That’s why I loved Castle so much. And Jesse is always eager to believe. Charlie on the other hand looks like he’s got tons to say on the subject. Rex too. Apparently he doesn’t believe in time travel either.

Any so called time traveler should come back to the present with the numbers for the lottery. That would be ample proof for me :P

Can I say how much I like the camera work on this one? Good directing by John Vatcher.

Rex is getting so many pats in this episode. Deserved.

This campaign manager is on par with the Veep campaign managers. And by that I mean he’s ruthless and self-centered and I want to punch him.

That food now possibly has dog hair in it.

I come from a country where it’s pretty normal to put a musical montage right in the middle of an episode (even a dance number), so I’m not going to say anything about the needless song.

Thunk! There goes Charlie. Again. I’ll spare y’all the concussion speech. Besides, time moves in mysterious ways in this show, maybe it’s already been six months since episode 11.

Seriously, why do you tell Rex to chase a lead if you can’t survive being ten feet away from him?

I can’t remember the last time any of my shows put a bomb vest on one of the main characters. The latest that I remember was FBI but it was on a minor character. That had been a great episode too.

I haven’t yet decided whether that bomb vest looks too amateurish. To be fair, given who the culprit was, it shouldn’t look professional.

Sarah finding Charlie as he has a bomb vest on is like, the best thing that has happened lately on this show. Her look. His look as he realizes that he’s got his entire family now in this (and the mantra of no, no, no that must be playing in his head, I’m filling the blanks, don’t mind me). The slight zooming in of the camera in both of their shots, denoting the direness of the situation.

I was almost waiting for Charlie to say “this isn’t as enjoyable as it was last night” as Sarah was touching him while she’s checking the bomb vest. It writes itself, come on.

In my last review post I wrote that I was hoping the earphones would serve for Charlie to call Sarah and tell her goodbye or something like that. This certainly exceeded my expectations.

We’re a bit late for love confessions under duress but when Charlie was asked about whether Sarah was his wife and he replied “Not yet”, that was a nice moment. At least we know where his head is at.

Their silent communication. They’re so in sync.

Elsewhere, Joe and Jesse are quietly trying to figure out a way to save innocent people and somehow not get their friend blown up.

Superintendent Joe Donovan making airplane noises. I laughed so much.

They are holding hands as they’re walking to their doom! Oh, by the way, interesting music choice. I wonder if it’s score created for the show or non-original music. I’ve certainly not heard it before on the show.

Goodbye kiss! I love it here. And look at the shot of Charlie and Rex leaving as Sarah is staying behind.

Me: no way it’s the convict. Five minutes later: it’s the fucking convict!!! Ten minutes later: it’s not the convict???

Ha, Charlie using the mute button which is pretty convenient but almost no one uses on calls. 

Okay, they fooled me with the bomber. But the takedown went pretty much as I expected. Nice communication with Rex through hand signals, again. Although the detonator flying off the lady’s hand… anything could have happened.

Rex’s influence to the system will be more K9s lol. They may also have ensured unlimited funding for the SJPD.

Can the time traveling guy tell us if Charlie is going to propose anytime soon? Or is the “not yet” considered a non-proposal proposal?

This is the first time I’m hearing about the so called Alice in wonderland syndrome.

“Everybody needs a Rex”. Ah, yes. Our catchphrase.

Charlie, put the phone down. When is that man clocking out? Who’s going to make sure Rex is getting adequate rest? I need to talk to his superior. Joe!

Well, I kept saying that I wanted Charlie and Sarah to be in danger again together since they hadn’t after they had become a couple, and I got my wish, thank you, show. We could have had an aftermath scene with them but I’m not going to complain about it in an otherwise good episode.

Promo: I’m beyond frustrated that they keep shuffling the episodes and they wouldn’t even give it a rest when they got the season finale or the 100th episode on their hands. Today’s (yesterday’s) episode would have been a better 100th episode than The Rookie’s for sure (which is embarrassing for The Rookie). But instead we get to watch it as episode 99 and have a run of the mill case for the 100th, which, unless it ends up in a huge celebration scene, is going to fall flat. We basically end off exactly as we started, expect I now know this is 100% CityTV’s fault.

Speaking of, is CityTV even going to acknowledge that it’s the 100th episode? Is anyone? I’m obviously not expecting the magnitude of promotion ABC gave The Rookie or 911 this season (and that was a lot) but something that shows they’re not completely neglecting Hudson and Rex. It doesn’t seem like we’re getting renewal news anytime soon, so I’d settle for them celebrating the episodes they already filmed. There are quite a few production companies involved too, this does not only fall on CityTV. If Shaftesbury wants to celebrate this milestone, I won’t say no.

[emoani]

Pairing: anakin!modern x f!reader warnings: mention of depression, emotional health, self-harm, antidepressants and other medications

n/a: I don't know if anyone will like this story, but I write it with a lot of affection and feeling since it's all very personal to me. in a way anakin/hayden also "saved" me like with reader, and has been saving me every day. just remembering that english is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes. Good reading!

ps: can you imagine ani like in that factory girl movie, only older

Sea: Prologue

It was a Wednesday. The day was too cold for the season, and the icy wind ached against my body. Maybe that happened because my body was hurt and full of bruises... Which I made myself.

I was looking at the sea, and the waves that seemed to move kind of slowly. Maybe they weren't moving that slowly, it was just my brain messed up because I had taken more meds than my shrink ordered.

I wasn't sure what I wanted. I took the medicine hoping to get back to reality, just control myself and not get to where I am now.

I really didn't want to die, but I didn't know if I wanted to live either. I didn't want to live like this, always suffering.

I didn't know who I was anymore. What do I want to study? What do I want to work with? Do I like the way I look this way or should I make a radical change?

Thinking is exhausting. The thought of continuing here is exhausting. Sometimes memories are the worst kind of torture. That was why I found myself here on this beach, in a different country (which I had moved to study, but after so many absences I had to drop out of college).

Without looking at anything beyond that blue immensity, which seemed to be as big as my sadness, I started to take my first steps. I shivered with the icy water, and as soon as the first wave hit me, my tears began to fall out of control.

I didn't even know that from afar he saw everything. In a situation so different from mine, a little away in that calm and empty place, a celebrity trying to escape the hectic life and the paparazzi, smoked a cigarette while looking at the sea (until saw myself in that situation).

I only realized that I wasn't alone when I heard his footsteps in the water, catching up with me so fast that my weak, sad body couldn't even respond in time to pull away.

He grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me towards the sand.

- Who are you, you crazy? Let go of me - I screamed completely out of control feeling my body tremble.

- I'm just a guy trying to prevent a woman from doing something stupid! He answered me firmly, his eyes looked at me seriously as if he were a father scolding a daughter. And anyone looking from afar might even think it was, since he was certainly older than me. Older and very handsome too.

- Go mind your own business and let me go! – I complained.

But as soon as we got out of the water he let go of me and I ended up on the ground, looking at him indignantly because of his ignorance. But I couldn't complain, I had asked him to let me go. I straightened up still sitting and could observe him better: all in black, a cap hid his face.

- Are you a famous or a thug? – I grumbled loudly.

This situation was so stupid that it was funny. All this time I was here, I had only been able to see an artist if I paid for a show, like anywhere else in the world. But it was somewhat ironic, well now in this situation find a possible celebrity.

- Is this important now? – He asked looking troubled, as if I were, I don't know, a fan of his – Tell me, did you take any drugs?

- Yeah, I'm a drug addict. Can not you see? – I scoffed, as I got up and cleaned all that sand from my clothes. I hated the beach.

He took a few steps back, avoiding contact.

- I'm serious. I need to take you to the hospital. You can't even stand up straight.

He was right. I was high on drugs.

- What a fucking hospital – I denied it without bothering to show politeness – Do you see any injuries here? I don't have money to go to the hospital for anything.

- Yes, I do - he replied, looking me up and down. But not in a malicious way, he seemed to analyze me in a sinister way.

- And is? Where? – I asked, looking at my own body.

- You're very hurt... Inside.

next chapter: coming soon

[toxicrayofsunshine]

What the Mountain Provides

I have been binge watching Outsiders, the show from 2016 with Joe Anderson, Ryan Hurst, and Kyle Gallner, and was dismayed to learn it was canceled after only TWO seasons. Now I love Supernatural, it's one of my comfort shows, but if I could trade a couple seasons of it for new seasons of Outsiders, I would.

Well of course this news was disappointing but I figured I could read the fanfic that surely followed suit. Even Kyle made a tweet about it. However, I'm finding that stories are few and far between. Sasil seems to be the main type and while I love the ship and the characters, I also have a love for reader inserts or other OCs. So I guess the only thing I can do is write my own... without further ado here's my first Outsiders Fanfic. At the moment it's a one shot but because it's me, it will more than likely become a multi-chapter. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

What the Mountain Provides

Pairing: Asa Farrell x Female OC

Words: 2550

Warnings: Slight Spoiler, Swearing, Talk of death and dying

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

Summary: {set after Asa shoots Big Foster} Asa finds himself being taken care of by a young woman from his childhood.

There hadn’t been a set plan when he’d come back down the mountain. All he knew was he could never go back home and the pain that hit him was like a shot to the heart. At first, he tried telling himself to just hop a train and go wherever life took him, but the wolves descending told him that this was the end of the line for him. He couldn’t have G’win, he’d killed Big Foster, and he couldn’t see the light at the end of this tunnel. Perhaps he should’ve pulled the trigger that night rather than return to the mountain; maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so bad at home. Sure, the coal company was still a problem, but the internal war that was waged… was that all his fault? Was he cursed? Had he brought some sort of evil back home with him?

At least giving himself to the wolves would provide sustenance for the creatures. Perhaps they’d even carry parts of him back up the mountain. His spirit might not be fully at peace scattered about, but did he deserve peace at all? Standing, facing the three predators, he resigned himself to death, closing his eyes and holding his arms out as though he were embracing a friend... but then the sound of soft humming reached his ears, and he could see the soft light of first morning behind his eyelids, the smell of coffee and bacon assaulting his nostrils, and when he reached down, his hand was met with the softness of nice sheets.

The humming became softer, but he could tell the person behind the noise was coming closer, and he managed to crack one eye open as the door slowly opened. When the owner of the voice and the room came into view, his breath suddenly caught in his throat. She reminded him of summertime on the mountain; her hair shimmered like the soft glow of a summer evening, kissed by the sun, yet cool as the pale beams of a full moon; a gentle fusion of warmth and ethereal light, a tapestry of blonde that seemed almost otherworldly in its delicate brilliance. She had a fae-ish look about her, and all of the stories his kin would tell of the Fae didn’t seem so farfetched after setting eyes on her… and then she smiled at him, and he was positive this must be some kind of heaven because he was certainly looking at an angel.

“Glad ta see you awake.”

She had the same accent as most folks around here, but hers sounded closer to music than simple conversation, and it was taking his brain a second longer than usual to realize that this wasn’t a hallucination and he wasn’t dead. The woman waited for a moment before stepping closer, the tray of food held out in front of her, and he could see that she was being cautious but was unsure what the caution was aimed towards. Was she afraid of him? Possibly, but he didn’t think she’d bring him… wherever they were if that was the case. He was so lost in his head that it didn’t register that he was full-on staring at her, his eyes tracking her every move, but if she was bothered by it, she didn’t say anything. Simply placed the tray on the bedside table and stepped back to give him space.

“I hope you like bacon. I wasn’t sure if you ate meat, but figured it was a pretty safe bet since most folks around here do. If I got it wrong, I’ve got something else I can make ya. Got some cinnamon rolls coolin' in the kitchen if you’ve got a sweet tooth or”

“This is fine. Thanks.”

She gave him a small nod, and while she wanted to ask him about a million questions, she didn’t want to overwhelm him. When she’d found him, he’d been delirious, screaming about wolves coming to devour his soul. He didn’t swing at her or react violently when she helped him to his feet, but he’d sobbed the entire way to her truck, asking if she was the angel of death and muttering about the mountain never allowing his spirit to rest. It would be considered odd if she hadn’t been raised in the area; her mother and Meemaw taught her that as long as you respected the mountain and the magic within it, it would bless you and keep you safe. When she’d hit her 20s and gone to college, she’d tried writing it all off as superstitions, but since being back she’d seen things she couldn’t explain. Fae playing in her garden, shapeshifters at her back door, her name being called while hiking… she wasn’t sure if this type of magic only resided within the Appalachians or not, but she’d spent the past 12 years learning how to work with that magic and lived a peaceful life. Something she didn’t think her guest could relate to.

“I’ll leave ya to it then.”

She turned to leave when he reached out and grabbed her wrist, causing her to pause and turn back to look at him. She was close enough that he was given a better look at her and was mesmerized by her eyes: one hazel and one blue. She had full lips and a slightly upturned nose, and for the first time in a long time, his thoughts weren’t stuck on G’win.

“What’s your name?”

“Ivy Rae Calloway.” She could see the glimmer of recognition but didn’t think he could fully place her. “You can call me Ivy.”

“Asa. Asa F-”

“Farrell. I know.” He was caught off guard by her knowing, at the very least, his last name. Most people in this town had a hatred for his kin, but she didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. “My Meemaw used ta be friendly with your Bren’in. I’d go up with her from time ta time. You taught me how ta swim.”

He searched his memories for this lovely woman and stumbled upon a memory of him at 12, a 10-year-old blonde girl chasing after him and begging him to teach her how to swim. He’d refused at first, having better things to do than befriend a townie, but he told her he’d help if she could keep up, and she had. Even when he’d purposely taken a difficult trail to the pond, she was right on his heels, and by the end of the day, they were well and truly friends. Whenever she’d come with her Meemaw, the two of them would go off on some adventure, often with a few of his cousins in tow. They’d spent five summers running all over the mountain, and he was ashamed to say he’d forgotten all about her. He’d recognized the name when Lady Ray had mentioned her in passing but didn’t truly remember until this moment.

“I heard tell you moved.”

“For a little bit. I went ta college for a few years, but it wasn’t for me; I was back home by 23. Things I learned from my ma and Meemaw have done more for me than anything I learned in university anyhow.”

That was something he could relate to: college and the outside world not being for you. He’d tried it for ten years, but the mountain called him home, and now he was wondering if she had something to do with that. At first, he assumed G’win was the pull he’d felt, but with how things worked out on that front, he had his doubts. Ivy though… he didn’t believe in love at first sight, but there was definitely something special about her.

“I know the feelin.”

“I know ya do.” She smiled softly but didn’t expand on the statement. “I’ll let ya eat in peace.”

He gave her a thin smile, but the way he tucked into the food was thanks enough for her. She had no idea why the mountain had placed Asa in her path but she knew better than to ignore such a blatant sign. She’d sent offerings to the spirits, praying that they’d send someone her way so she didn’t have to be so alone. Her ma had been gone these past 4 years, the cancer took her too quickly, and if she hadn’t had her Meemaw, she didn’t think she’d have survived that… but there had been no one here when the older woman had passed. Ivy hadn’t understood what happened to her then, just that she hadn’t seen it coming. One morning, Meemaw woke up and told her she had to accompany someone important to her to the other side. She’d said similar things in the past, helping a spirit cross over, showing them to the light. As a death witch, it was her job to lead the lost souls to their final destination, so Ivy hadn’t batted an eye when she started talking like that. However, she hadn’t expected her Meemaw to walk into the forest and not back out. The police had found her body a mile from the Farrell homestead with no sign of trauma, and the coroner said she hadn’t had a heart attack or anything like that. For all intents and purposes, she fell asleep by the old oak and hadn’t woken up.

Ivy found out a week later that Lady Ray had passed on, and everything clicked into place. She had been her Meemaw’s best friend, and while they hadn’t visited the home in many years, the older women would often meet in the forest and spend the day swapping stories and sharing the bounty of whichever harvest they were in. Ivy had always loved their friendship and wished she’d had something like that; unfortunately, while Meemaw was Lady Ray’s best friend, that didn’t mean Ivy had been allowed to hang around the family. The moment they found she’d gone to college, they’d shunned her… if they only knew the reason behind her departure was the man currently eating in her guest room.

⸸

A couple of weeks passed, and Asa was finally beginning to relax around Ivy. Initially, he’d been so sure she’d end up treating him like everyone else, intimidated by the Farrell name, but she was at complete ease around him. She’d explained where she’d found him and the things he’d been saying, and he’d admitted to having hallucinated wolves. Ivy had listened to him talk about the things happening within his family and the coal company. It hurt her heart to hear about all that chaos weaving its way through the Farrell land, but she’d told him that it wasn’t his fault it had happened. She believed that Big Foster had been the one to set things in motion, the darkness in his heart tainting what she knew to be an important ceremony in their clan. His actions against Lady Ray only solidified, in her mind, that the mountain was now punishing the family for his actions. It didn’t sound like anyone was trying to make amends with the spirits, and one of the biggest things she’d been taught was never to disrespect the spirits and expect to be let off the hook.

“So, you’re tellin’ me that even after goin’ to college, you still believe in magic and all that?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Most townies don’t.”

“You callin' me a townie Asa Farrell?”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Their teasing tones showed how easily their friendship had picked back up. They fit so perfectly together, and it helped that Ivy was as honest as Li’l Foster; Asa wasn’t sure either of them was even capable of lying. She didn’t see any sense in spreading falsehoods or saying what you didn’t truly mean; all that got anybody was heartache, at least in her experience. They’d even played two truths and a lie, a way to get reacquainted, and her poker face was completely non-existent. It didn’t matter that her truths were things others would find insane, he knew she was being completely honest with him. She wasn’t raised as far in as he’d been, but Ivy was still a daughter of the mountain.

“Good. Now, I gotta go into town today… it’s not my favorite activity, but I’ve run outta flour and yeast and have a dozen or so loaves of bread ta bake by the end of the day. Wanna come with me?”

“I uh, I better not. It ain’t been that long since… I don’t wanna cause you no trouble.”

“Ain’t no trouble.”

“Ivy.”

He thought for sure she’d push this. G’win always did whenever she wasn’t getting her way, but Ivy just smiled and left it at that. The townsfolk weren’t exactly thrilled with her existence either, but the shit they’d say about the Farrells…

“No worries.”

“I don’t mean ta be callous or nothin'. I just”

“I get it, Asa. You ain’t gotta explain yourself ta me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides, havin' you here gives me an even bigger reason to hurry.”

“Bein in town ain’t enough?”

“You might be surprised.”

He thought she sounded sad, and it wasn’t a tone he enjoyed hearing come from her. One of the best things about Ivy was her happy spirit. She was quick to smile, and though he’d seen her get cross at her vegetable garden, whenever he stepped into view, she lit up like a firefly.

“You alright?”

“I’ll be fine. Just been a little harder than usual after Meemaw passed on. Gets kinda lonely when I’m all by myself.”

“You’re not by yourself no more.”

“For now.” She shrugged, shaking herself out of this funk. “I’m sure you don’t wanna stay around these parts after everything.”

“At one time, I’d agree with you, but now… was thinkin’ about stickin’ around. If you don’t mind me crashin' in your guest room?”

“Not at all. You can stay forever if ya want.”

“I’m gonna hold ya to that.”

“I’m a woman of my word.” She promised, reaching her hand out and shaking on it. “Are you a man of yours?”

“I try ta be.” He answered honestly, surprising her when he gently yanked on her hand and pulled her into a hug. “Be careful today, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t know where these feelings were coming from, but he didn’t fight against them either, kissing the top of her head and refusing to overthink this. He hadn’t expected to find his savior in a fellow lostie, but he was thankful for it all the same. She also lived in the in-between, too mountainy for townsfolk and too townie for the mountain folks, but she didn't seem to loathe it like he did. Of course, he had a pretty damn good reason to feel the way he did. Unlike his kin, hers had welcomed her home and taught her in the old ways. He couldn't fault her for their different experiences though, and while she felt more strongly about the magic aspect of the mountain than he did, they still had a lot in common, and it didn’t hurt that she was damn pretty.

“You got a favorite candy or somethin?”

“Nah. Ain’t nothin' gonna compare to your cinnamon rolls anyway.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” She teased, going on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “See ya later, Asa.”

He watched her all the way from the kitchen to the front door, giving her a small wave as she left the house. The impossible had become possible: Asa Farrell had caught feelings for someone other than G’winveer.

[raayllum]

I don't know how I could cope between-seasons without your tdp analyses; Raay, thank you so much! I was (re)reading your meta section, specifically Articulation of Need. It hit me that, 4x07, Callum finally says "I need you" to Rayla... and it's just devastating. I guess I don't have a question, I just want to reiterate how grateful I am that you've shared your analyses as I've gained so much insight into and appreciation for this show because of you. Thank you.

🥺

Re-reading aAAH gonna pretend I know how to deal with all those compliments eloquently but I'm so glad you're enjoying it still!! Inspiring and spreading appreciation is all I wanna do (as well as emptying my lil meat cage brain so I can think other things) when it comes to posting meta so like!!

Aah thank you so much, that meta was one of my favourites to write (and I actually cried a little at my job at the time over it, constructing it in my head while doing other tasks, lol! Still gets me a little teary now) and like, S4 was Insane for it as an add-on??

TLDR for anyone who doesn't feel like reading the full (2k-3k??) meta but: Rayla's big loving Callum speeches are always about how much she needs him and can't lose him. Callum's big loving Rayla speeches are always about how much he admires/adores her, not expressing that he needs her in the same manner. Rayla always places herself in between him and the threat as much as possible, reinforcing that she doesn't want to lose him. Callum almost always just asks to go with her, indicating that the threat is worth the risk of both of them.

Case in point: Callum has never asked Rayla to stay. In S4, we see this begin to shift in Rayla's direction. She's gone from asking if he'll stay to asking if she can stay.

Even her little mini speech while he's sleeping is all about how special he / they were (are) to her, how much she doesn't want to lose him, how he's the best thing she ever had. Alternatively, Callum is so much more confused; it takes to the end of the season to be able to move past just all the anger and admit that he's "so glad" she's back. But just like in every season prior, Callum shows that he needs her - to not emotionally repress, to not go down a path of darkness - in action rather than in word. And just like every season before, he's surprised that she doesn't know this, because he's surprised that she's leaving (again). To him, how can she not know that he needs her?

But we know that she doesn't, because S4 gets so close - closer than they've ever been before, while ironically simultaneously understanding each more and less than ever before - and then pulls the rug out from under us.

Because in her mind, her parents all left because they didn't need her; Runaan was only taken ('killed') because she was a detriment to the mission: "Five of us won't be enough. We need all six" "We'll be stronger as five." And in Callum's mind (for most of S4, but not by the end, I think) how much could Rayla need him, when she left him behind?

But this is what is most beautiful about their S5 / possession plot line set up. Rayla will be asking for him to stay with her, because she needs him, all over again. And in coming back to her, he'll prove in action (yet again) that he needs her, and maybe even in word, And, through many different options of circumstances that may extend past S5 or past this plot line (although again, I lean toward it being resolved in S5) Callum will reiterate that he needs her - not to kill him, but in order for him to truly feel like he's living.

He will finally ask her to stay, to realize that it needs to be asked and to be willing / brave enough, after everything, to ask it. To ask her to stay. And Rayla will have finally had the development she needs, too, in order to say Yes.

[70s-show-diary]

Fic authors, self-rec! When you get this ask, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written; then pass this ask on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love! 🩷

Thank you for the ask @those70scomics! It's an honor to get asked this by one of my favorite That '70s Show fanfic authors!

(Since this is my That '70s Show blog, I'll specifically share my 5 favorite T7S fics that I've written.)

1.) Let's Grow Up Together (FF.net/AO3)

Summary: When one day Jackie receives a certain letter in the mail, she finds her life quickly beginning to change. Suddenly she is a grown-up navigating life on her own, drifting away from the sleepy little town of Point Place...and from her friends who can't seem to find the courage to discover life outside the Forman basement. Will her friends catch up, or will Jackie be all on her own? (Rated: T)

Comments: This is my season 7 'fix-it fic' and is my favorite T7S fic that I've ever written. Spoiler alert - everyone gets a happy and fulfilling ending, rich in growth and possibility (you know, unlike s8)!

2.) It Takes Time to Fall in Love (FF.net/AO3)

Summary: Jackie can't wait to meet her soulmate, but a dire mistake on her part leads her to mistakenly identify him as Michael, while Hyde watches his soulmate clock hit zero and immediately knows that it's Jackie. Years pass, Jackie with Michael, Hyde saying nothing as he knowingly watches from the side. Will this dynamic be permanent or will destiny bring the true soulmates together? (Rated: T)

Comments: This is the fic that I wrote for the 2017 Zenmasters Anthology project! That was the very first year of ZMA, and I was so honored to be a part of it. This was such a fun fic to write, and I really enjoyed weaving the soulmate clock concept into the timeline of the show. Plus, as part of ZMA, (I believe now former) tumblr user @/hydejackies made some gorgeous artwork for my story: Part 1 and Part 2.

3.) Between the Scenes (FF.net/AO3)

Summary: Little missing moments/one-shots from the show that serve to further develop the characters and/or plot. These scenes take place between the scenes of certain episodes. (Rated: T)

Comments: This is an open-ended project that I add stand-alone one-shots to whenever I watch an episode of T7S and feel like there was a missing moment that we didn't get to see. Stories that fit within the show (and into canon, to a degree) are my favorite to write, especially if I get to add context to a concept or plot point from the show that maybe wasn't fully realized. I love finding a seed of something from the show and growing a garden with it, which is what I try to do here.

4.) The Speech (FF.net/AO3)

Summary: When Jackie's friends all blow off her graduation party, she decides that maybe they're not her real friends after all. So when a week passes with no sign of Jackie, they all begin to wonder if they've lost her for good this time. Can amends be made? (One-shot.) (Rated: T)

Comments: I hate the way the episode "Gimme Shelter" (7.20) ends with Jackie just shrugging off the way her friends treated her, and this fic is my way of making up for it. Plus, @those70scomics adapted this one-shot into a comic back in 2015 which is the coolest thing ever!

5.) The Renewal (FF.net/AO3)

Summary: Kelso and Donna are away in California. Eric spends his days sleeping in a stupor of self-loathing and depression. Fez meets a new foe, named Fenton. This leaves Steven Hyde and Jackie Burkhart together all summer in the Forman basement. One of many things Jackie and Hyde fans have never gotten is a story for what led up to that fateful kiss on that seemingly normal day. Well... (Rated: T)

Comments: I debated whether I wanted to include this fic here, because it sometimes makes me cringe when I read what I wrote 10+ years ago as a teenager. Plus, it was my first attempt at fanfic writing and there is sooo much I would change about it if I were to write it now. (I've toyed with the idea of re-writing it, but I just don't have the time these days.) But all that being said...it was the first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote, so in that respect, I'm proud of it. I discovered my passion for fanfic writing with this fic and discovered the wonderful community of T7S fanfic writers, so it will always hold a special place in my heart.

I believe all the fanfic writers that I know here on tumblr have already answered this ask. However, if you haven't, consider yourself now tagged! :)

[littledoggy-girlcollar]

a counterargument: colin bullied nate pretty relentlessly, including physically. nate was openly scared of colin in the for the children ep. not that that makes what said okay, but he also apologized to colin afterwards.

you know i did think about this when writing the post so here's my thoughts on that:

you're right, colin did bully nate in season one, but unless i totally misread shit (which, possible, i did watch a lot of it fairly late at night and watched the other part of it while writing an essay), the bullying was explicitly ring-led by jamie, and was stopped pretty much entirely by roy yelling at them in the club. as far as i remember, there was nothing specific that colin did that jamie and isaac didn't, and while i also don't remember a full apology to nate, it also seemed like they all got along fairly well afterward, especially after nate's promotion to assistant coach.

and then the Headspace episode happened. i had thoughts abt what i was going to say and then i went "hey lemme pull up the episode to make sure i have that right" and i forgot those thoughts and now i have new ones and they're way more thesis-y than i thought they'd be so here we go!

nate is a bit of a dick to colin during practice, following some ribbing of nate's new nickname of the "wonder kid," coming from him mispronouncing "wunderkind/wonderkind" (as far as i can tell these are the same word? just different spelling?). dani, jamie, and colin all make essentially the same joke, but colin is the only one that nate gets mad at. could this possibly just be because of the lingering resentment from the bullying last season? sure. but colin actually goes to nate's office to figure out what he did wrong and if there's something else he should be doing, and nate literally tells him he did it because dani and jamie have more talent and recognition than he does (incredibly paraphrased). my rant about how colin could end up being THE most inspiring member of the team if the show/the character decides to go that way will be saved for another post, but in essence, nate explicitly tells both colin and us as the viewer that he picked on colin because he doesn't think he has that much power to retaliate, and nate's position as assistant coach gives him a level of authority over colin as well.

crazy. almost like a role reversal over here or something.

anyways, beard calls nate on his shit, nate apologizes to colin in front of the team, the apology is accepted. in all, it was kind of a one-off thing that was resolved fairly easily, and i am realizing that my view of that specific instance may have been clouded by the rest of the episode, but there is one more point i want to hit on before we get to that part, which is that: colin is a gay man in a sport with (from what i've heard) no visibly out queer men, and nate had no way of knowing this, but that probably made his comment cut deeper than he even intended. i know in season three colin says he doesn't want to be some big statement or representation or whatever, and i think that's totally fair and if the show wants to stick with that i think that's chill, but i do still think telling a closeted gay man that "you aren't special, you don't inspire anyone, shut up and do the work" would have a biiiiit of a mental impact beyond just the visible hurt we see from colin as he leaves. again, this bit isn't necessarily on nate since he didn't know and may not have factored it in even if he did, but to me it's just kind of another drop in the bucket of "wow this man is just saying anything now cause he's got an outsourced sense of superiority."

and that's actually where my main problem comes from. because after the apology the team gifts nate a jersey with "wonder kid" on it. and they are happy about it, and they think it's cool, and they give the credit to will (the kitman, you know, nate's old job) for coming up with it, and will says "it's a pretty awesome nickname." and then nate sees one fucking negative meme on twitter, in a flood of literally hundreds of positive ones, plus headlines and fucking podcasts praising him to high heaven, and nate goes "clearly will was trying to embarrass me, guess i better go physically threaten him so he never does that again."

because he's an insecure prick that doesn't actually believe in himself or have self-confidence. he's done a bit of growing, sure, and he can stand up for himself and voice his opinions a bit better now, but despite his stupid fucking posturing and spitting in the mirror (cause its tough? a metaphor for him hating himself? whatever it's fucking stupid) he gets all of his confidence from other people. he hasn't internalized it yet. he feels good when ted praises his ideas, he gets overly insecure when roy does literally anything, including give the proper credit to nate, feels lighter than air and higher than heaven (i don't usually invoke holy shit this much the show must be rubbing off on me in terms of metaphors) when everyone is praising his name, and it can all be ruined by one comment from his father and the same picture of his face on the internet only this time it's saying shit instead of giving him glory. so he's hearing all of this praise from pretty much all corners, and he feels good about it, but he can't hold onto it. he can't internalize it. so when he sees a sliver of criticism, it all goes out the window, and he doesn't want that! that makes him feel bad! so he has to get rid of that, too, and the easiest way to get rid of it is to turn it around on someone else. someone with less power who won't fuck you up and who doesn't visibly have enough support to come back at you (because while i love colin, we really don't see him shine on his own that much. and neither does nate). and sure whatever nate's dad is a jerk to him and childhood issues shut the fuck up that's a grown man with an actively growing support system. which he throws under the bus like five seconds later by the way.

anyways. my point here is really that the episode is kind of a perfect summary of nate's character at this point in the narrative. he's abusing his power out of some weird sense of superiority one good win got him, he's got enough humanity to realize (re: be forced to realize by a large man with a beard and ability to disappear from offices) when he's fucked up no actually hold on. he literally only apologizes cause coach beard confronts him on it and is expecting it. he wouldn't have done this otherwise and we know it because look at how he's treated will literally since he got there. ok sorry for the detour that hit me literally as i was writing and i don't have the energy to go back up and revise to fit that in. so: abusing power, will apologize when made to by those he still views as having more power than him, externalizes all of his self-concept, positive and negative, and continues to take out all negativity on anyone he views as having less power. WHICH AGAIN FUCKING SUCKS SINCE THAT LITERALLY USED TO BE HIM IT'S LITERALLY "WELL I WENT THROUGH X SO YOU SHOULDN'T GET Y" BEHAVIOR FUCK OFF. GOD. okay i need to end this before i get real fucked up about it ok closing statement.

yes, colin bullied nate in season one. yes, nate ostensibly apologized to colin and colin accepted. no, the reason this grinds my gears isn't necessarily the colin thing specifically, but the situation is kind of a microcosm of everything that's going on in the world of nate, and is therefore condensed, and therefore saturated, so it sucks more ass. yes, i understand that pretty much everything i've laid out is why nate is such a well written character, but that doesn't make him a less shitty person. i'm sure i had more things to say and forgot them so if you wanna ask questions shoot.

[chirpsythismorning]

I get your point on Mike not noticing what Will is going through but there really is no indication of him noticing things about Will all the time. Like... S3 exists. And even in S4, he's not aware of what Will is going through and we also should take into consideration that Mike and Will have not spoken to each other for months, how the heck would he even know about Will's sexuality or his feelings for him? And he did not notice Will's sensing Vecna and what was going on until Will told him that Vecna's still alive and he can sense him. Will's also the first one to sense the Upside Down acting on (him touching his neck scene) and Mike did not realize that moment, I mean, he basically is not even in the focus of that shot, the kid is basically hugging Hopper behind the scene, lol.

Also there really is a difference btwn him noticing Will just acts annoyed at the roller rink versus why Will acted that way which... he didn't realize what Will really acted that way anyways.

I am keeping an open mind and speculating here because there are signs that it's not as simple as the show is presenting it as.

Though, I do want to make it clear that I don't think it's ever been as simple as Mike fully understanding Will, specifically in the van scene.

I think all these moments between them over the years, that read as romantic coded to us, could arguably feel that way to them, deep down at least. They've confirmed that was the case for Will since s1, though they have yet to even imply that could be a possibility for Mike, despite it being the obvious direction that they're going with in the story.

Honestly, I think at least deep down, Will AND Mike are in a constant back and forth of he loves me/he loves me not, which just hits a lot different as a queer person. They're also best friends and so they're having to worry that they'll make the other person uncomfortable after realizing they misunderstood things. It's also why they (especially Mike) doubles down and ends up hurting Will, because he's so focused on not making his feelings obvious, that he basically implies him and Will aren't friends anymore (instant regret jpg.).

Yes, Mike can't know Will's every thought and emotion at all times, especially when he's not even looking in Will's direction at all. And yet I think that he's still able to sense that at least something is wrong when he is in a situation where Will is right there in front of him.

For example, we're barely shown Mike looking at Will at all at Rink-O-Mania despite them being like 3 ft away from each other most of the day, and yet he ends the night giving us a play by play of Will's emotions. We even get a shot in the van on the way back to the Byers, with Mike looking over at Will who is upset, but not El. They make a point to parallel these shots directly. And so Mike didn't look at El crying, but he did look at Will upset here AND also Will crying in the van scene at the end of the season... Okay...

There was also a post recently that really makes this concept of Mike noticing Will crying even more plausible, because it's a scene of Lucas literally noticing Max upset in the backseat, and yet he doesn't push her any further...

It's sort of a time and place situation on a basic level. Like is now really the time to confront Will crying, and talk about it, all the while they've been framing byler all season as being interrupted constantly and rarely getting a moment of privacy? Meaning a moment truly acknowledging this properly, might very well warrant no one around...

Like I said, I go back and forth on this all the time. Because I think the easiest way to write off the van scene as Mike being totally oblivious, is that Will is lying. And Will doesn't lie to Mike and so no wonder it was so easy to believe him. And so that could explain it right?

Still, I think that it's unlikely to be as simple as Mike understanding Will in the van vs. being oblivious. The main thing I get out of Mike in the van scene is hope.

Arguably, most of the GA thinks that Mike picked up on Will's feelings in the van scene, though they also assume he doesn't feel the same. So what they assume occurred, is Mike letting Will down gently. They think it's obvious Mike noticed and that he doesn't feel the same, and so that's why he's not comforting Will. Most viewers with common sense picked up on Will's behavior in the van scene as him confessing his feelings to Mike through El. Most people went damn, welp that's tragic. After all, this is the moment that finally allowed Noah to finally say It's 100% obvious Will is gay and in love with Mike. After years of them denying and gaslighting fans over speculation in regards to Will's sexuality, THIS is the moment they chose to make it clear to the audience. Just because he never said it outright himself up to this point (and still technically hasn't), doesn't mean he hasn't felt those feelings deep down the whole time? I don't see why we should completely rule out Mike also being somewhat aware, but just having doubts and is just in general scared, because that's understandable. (Sometimes, I think it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel--).

I think the van scene is truly in a league of its own, separate from every moment before it because it is the moment that finally gave them the confidence to reveal the hidden (half) truth that's been going on in this show the whole time in regards to Mike and Will. And yet the Duffers STILL aren't willing to admit that there's more to it... Or are they?

That's the thing about what the Duffer's said, because if you remember what they mentioned about the van scene, it was, While, Mike doesn't fully pick up on it-- So they are basically alluding that it's not as simple as Mike understanding/not understanding. This is obviously because if Mike understood Will and yet he looked super happy, how exactly could the Duffers work around answering that without giving things away?

And so, what if it's only slightly the opposite of that GA assumption? What if the van scene is Mike picking up on Will's words being about himself (like the GA largely assumes), but it's not Mike letting Will down, it's him being relived (upon realizing the painting Will made for his crush is for Mike), confused, while also being somewhat hopeful? What if it's Mike also feeling the responsibility to wait, bc at the moment, he is still technically in a relationship with El. What if it's Mike holding back because comforting Will in this moment, who is now currently sobbing, would cause Mike to cry...? I think them blurring out Mike's reaction beside Will, as he stares at the painting is sus in terms of the possibility Mike could also be emotional in this moment, though holding back those emotions in the same way Will is, just a lot more successfully (Smalltown boy agenda is alive and well...). I mean, why else have both Mike and Will give each other the most heartfelt smiles we've ever seen them give to anyone, only to both look away with their smile dropping... Why?

I also think it's going to be a lot of mental gymnastics to have to make the GA go from thinking Mike understood Will in the van scene, but was letting him down gently, to then reveal Mike didn't understand Will, but still likes Will, but is also hearing all these things fully believing they're El's feelings, and he's smiling and looks super happy with that information? Having only one of those facts wrong feels a little more reasonable in subscribing to this classic miscommunication/unreliable narrator domino effect approach they're going for.

This reminds me of a TikTok that I saw a while back, which pointed out a specific reaction shot from Mike that I think a lot of us overlook. Even though I've been a Mike is clueless in the van scene truther mostly up until recently (I still flip-flop), what I realized after watching this was that, subconsciously, I do feel like Mike is indeed reacting to Will's emotions in this moment, and in his reaction shots he looks emotional and almost sympathetic specifically for Will's emotions in particular. Without actually breaking down what this implies, I've always felt this watching this shot and I still feel it:

And so here Will is, word for word, describing what him and Mike went through over the last year. He even uses words Mike himself used only a few episodes before, when they made up back in Lenora. We know El hasn't been pushing Mike away for the last year. Mike knows this more than Will does. It's just that Will is assuming El is in love with Mike, at least equal to how much Will loves Mike (how could she not be, that's Will's assumption here), and so he's just playing it off like that's something El is doing, when really the whole problem is that El has been doing the opposite of pushing Mike away for the last year, and yet Mike still couldn't commit with a simple four letter word.

And so my difficulty following along with the argument that Mike is clueless is that Will is clearly talking about them in this scene and at times Mike looks relieved and emotional and awestruck while hearing Will say all of this, things that fit their situation, while looking confused whenever Will mentions El's name...

I don't think it's as simple as Mike fully picking up on it, because there are contradictions at play here, and there's also the events leading up to this and what follows that could also impact what Mike thinks about this moment, over time.

But I also can't rule out Mike being hopeful. I think that's more so what it's about for me in terms of analyzing this scene. It's not that I think Mike is fully picking up on Will's feelings, or that he has ever done so at any point genuinely, but more so that I think he's partially picking up on it, and he's hoping.

I think there are certainly doubts that any average person would have in this moment, which I also think mirrors moments of hope and doubt that Mike has experienced in the past in regards to his relationship with Will.

While I know some fans think the end of s2 was the moment Mike realized his feelings, or the end of s3, I just don't think it's that simple.

I think that those moments represent the experience of slowly realizing something, but also being too scared to look too closely at it because of what it could mean, aka looking behind the curtain.

It also makes the expression Mike makes between El and Will at Nina a little more impactful. Because what we see is El and Mike reuniting, and Mike leaning in, but not as close as he could. It's quite visible he's pulling back and not meeting her halfway.

Like, Will literally spent ALL season encouraging him nonstop to tell El how he feels, and the dude can't even kiss her during this super auspicious moment? Dude literally keeps his mouth as far away as possible? Every other movie/show would have them kiss and say I love you during this reunion. Instead they make a point to emphasis Mike looking relieved that El doesn't hate him and that she wants him in her life still, followed by Mike seeking out Will almost instantly.

Also the whole, I didn't say it/You didn't have to moment was kind of unnecessary to drop in the scene where Mike poured his feelings out to Will earlier in the season (where he also said he felt like he lost Will), if it wasn't meant to allude to something deeper that will have a follow up to it. Why even have that exchange at all on the show, if not to hint at something deeper? If you're going to make a ship endgame, and have one of them noticing 9/10 when the other is upset and having them comfort them, then there's gotta be some follow through there. That line was toooo iconic for it to not be.

That's all I can think about when I see Mike smiling the brightest and most heartwarming we've ever seen him smile in the entire show, as he's hearing Will say these things. To me, at the very least, it looks like hope.

And the face he makes at Surfer Boy when Will tells him he's the heart and encourages him to confess to El essentially... that looks to me like devastation and heartbreak. It looks like Mike experiencing the worst possible case of 'he loves me not' one could ever experience (maybe Will's got it worse, I would argue that the same face he makes in response in that moment hits even harder...)

At the very least, I think Mike has been hoping, just like Will is. When it comes to growing up queer, all you have is hope and then the inevitable disappointment more often than not. Back in the 80s in a small town?? Like, it's no wonder they're both in denial they could have a chance despite getting signs there is a chance.

This is something that both Mike and Will are going through, circles of maybe this is real, only to be proven wrong. The tragedy of it all is that they both DO feel the same. And so their gut feeling is right, it's just that heteronormativity doesn't make it something they can really risk, in the case that they end up being wrong.

I will say, where I am up in the air at now is with what Mike is currently thinking about at the end of s4 as he stands by Will. If he is just realizing that El doesn't need him bc she is avoiding him, and that presumably the painting was a lie or at least not fully truthful, wouldn't Mike be upset? Instead he is very accepting of the fact that El doesn't need him and he is practically latching onto Will... And so does he know now that it's Will's feelings? Idk...

Like I said, I think that there are a lot of layers of reactions still in store, which is why it's not as simple as fans want it to be.

I am willing to guess that Mike at least hopes. I think it took a lot for Mike to stay beside Will instead of walking up further with El. I think that this is just the beginning of him accepting himself, which is why it follows directly after Mike and Hopper hug, who last hugged when Mike had a mental breakdown at the end of s2 over 'lying' in regards to his emotions about El being alive/will being possessed by the mindflayer, and who was also juxtaposed to Hoppers letter at the end of s3 also hinting at Mike's deeper feelings. They've been laying breadcrumbs so that once you have all the pieces it will be a lot more satisfying. Right now it's confusing, but that's okay because we're just along for the ride right now.

The problem I see us heading into in s5, is us now having all of these miscommunications coming to a head. Just because Mike hopes, doesn't mean he's certain. It means he's more than prepared to be bombarded with contradictions that will make both of them heartbroken and confused all over again.

The highly anticipated painting confrontation is one that I think could be crazy because Mike reacting upset in any way would obviously be a signal to Will that he doesn't feel the same... but we know that's not the case, and that it's actually quite the opposite.

At the moment I'm still on the fence, but I do think regardless what we have in store for s5 is a healthy dose of miscommunication and misunderstandings and revelations still to come (arguably the most gut wrenching bc they need to top the previous seasons), hopefully followed by more revelations and then the build up of that hope finally leading to something...

[golbrocklovely]

it's time to finally post my bridgerton, season 3 part one review.

this is just gonna be the first two episode bc apparently idk how to write a small reaction to anything lol

obvious spoilers (to both part one and the books) if you haven't seen/read them yet

episode one - out of the shadows

before i watched this episode, i ended up seeing the spoilers for it on twitter, which tbh didn't upset me bc when i read something, it's not the same as viewing it. like i'll have an idea in my head of what's to come, but it's never quite the same as the show presents it so, i never feel like i'm spoiled by reading something ahead of time.

as for this episode, what a fantastic way to start off the season. i think overall it was well paced and flowed so quickly. there wasn't a single moment i was bored during this episode.

i guess for this whole review i'm just gonna point out things i like and dislike. keep it simple.

seeing pen in her usual get up was such a good idea to start bc then seeing her transition into her glow up… crazy. literally night and day.

colin being a cocky bastard and so full of himself made my eyes roll MULTIPLE times. but i kinda love it lol

also the idea of him getting off the boat, after months of travel, most likely smelling like actual fucking ass, only to have a bunch of ladies swooning after him is a very funny sight to think of sksks

every single moment pen and colin interact i'm eating it up. idc if it's just the briefest of glances, i'm IN LOVE.

eloise siding with and befriending cressida… i hate it with a fiery passion. something about it feels so slimy, to be friends with the person that has made your ex best friend's life a living hell. and look, i get it. pen is LW, she wrote things about eloise that "ruined her", along with other family drama that has occurred in the seasons. but my whole thing is… eloise will never be ruined. and the reason for it is bc she's a bridgerton. they never are actually ruined. they bounce back. they are one of the highest ranking families in the ton, they're rich and hot, their one daughter is a duchess, they are close with lady danbury and the queen. like???? they won't ever be ruined. unless something catastrophic happens, they will always be fine. so that's why even el being friendly with a gasp poor person didn't do anything to her withstanding. bc if it did, no one would want to court francesca. but clearly she's the diamond of the season.

and not only that, but LW has also written about pen's family, even when her family has far less withstanding. she has so much more to lose when writing of her own family's shortcomings. and on top of that, if she didn't do what she did last season, el would have been assumed to be LW and the queen would have actually fucked up that family's lives. so… while i get being upset at pen, to befriend a person that you both agreed was the absolute fucking worst just feels like a direct attack and not a "well she was the only one that was there for me"

all of colin's flirting at the garden party is both eye roll inducing and hilarious at the same time. and also a twinge bit hot lol

i LOVE how far up his own ass colin is that when he finally talks to pen, and she says "much has certainly changed in that time." he assumes she's talking about what he's wearing and he replies with "a good deal i know, but it was all the rage in paris." bro….. no one CARES about your fit.

i will say tho, the bts of the wardrobe department showing that he wore that greenish kerchief to possibly impress pen was honestly so cute. like… that man really was deeply in love with her without realizing it at all.

pen's sisters are the WORST (but so funny) and their husbands are the best. hands down.

someone pointed it out on twitter that gregory points his bow at colin, almost like he gets hit with an arrow (of love). eros and psyche come THRU

colin saying nothing about his travels to anyone strictly bc he's been told countless times no one cares, only to share them with pen…. GOD I LOVE THIS SEASON

i also really love that literally everyone who actually cares about colin sees thru his shtick. humble that man real fast lmao

controversial opinion (so i'm sorry in advance to anyone that loves francesca and her story) but god… i do not care about her whatsoever. at least in the show, it is very hard to care about her and whatever she's doing. if she had been in last season, even just in the background, maybe i would care a little bit about her. but i honestly just don't give a shit. respectfully, i don't even see how this show is gonna make it to her season in the first place, unless they start condensing seasons together.

that being said, her parts with john are absolutely adorable and i relate to wanting someone that can appreciate quiet like you can. trust and believe that. but knowing what ends up happening to him in the end, i just… can't be bothered to care or want to get attached.

also the mondrich's storyline; i think it could be more entertaining, but it feels kinda flat as of right now. maybe part two things pick up, but currently in the storyline… it's a no from me.

kate and anthony are so hot. holy shit. thank god jonny is gay bc if he wasn't i think i would spending every waking moment thirsting after him lol

pen's reveal feels weirdly… lackluster. i think the only reason i'm not wowed by it completely is just bc she looks so uncomfortable. i get why she's like that, but i kinda feel like it would have been better if she felt even just a little bit confident in herself since it's not the same citrus colors like usual, but then reality crashes back in when she has to flirt with suitors and it just goes horribly wrong.

and i hope we see her in dark green again in part two bc she looks so good in it. what a waste it will be otherwise if all we ever see her in is pastels.

colin losing his train of thought once he sees pen I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

fran and pen's convo. i live for it. i hope we see more of them as friends in part two and later seasons. also omg pen… my poor baby. i just relate to her so much, it hurts.

i think the reason why i love debling so much, or that i think in some ways he could have been a good suitor is bc he sees pen as capable. everyone else in pen's life doubts her abilities. they don't see her as someone that could be "normal" so to speak. or really, no one else sees her as a woman other than him. at least at first. (i'll go into my explanation later in episode two)

colin being immediately concerned for pen as she runs away YES

the whole "goodnight mr. bridgerton" scene…………….. 10/10 in every way. READ HIS ASS TO FILTH PENELOPE

okay, so the one thing i actually genuinely love about this scene is that in the books, colin is always known as the charming one. and that ends up being something he hates. in this show, instead of charming, he's nice (he's also charming, don't get me wrong. but he's known as being the nice one). he's always nice. always doing something nice for someone else. always being told he's nice. so to have pen call him out and say "the one time you should have been nice, you were just like everyone else instead" god i just KNOW that shook that man to his core. which is why he comes back to her all sad and puppy dog eyed like 'pwease pen i'm swrry'

rae is a queen with her stares. props to that actress haha

colin's speech to her is basically a love confession. and then there's the one in the carriage…. and then we are also getting ANOTHER one (allegedly). i'm not gonna survive this season !!

pen/nic looks GORGEOUS in this dress. i wish she wore it in more than just this scene omg

"i'm gonna ruin lady whistledown"…. hehe yes you are

episode two - how bright the moon

i feel bad for pen every time she has to have an interaction with portia. she's so cold to her, it's so sad to see.

forgot to point it out from the previous episode, but pen losing her customer service voice with colin is honestly the funniest thing to me and also so real of her

the scene of her trying to seduce the men was the awkwardest thing i've ever seen and i literally could not watch it without skipping thru it. she's great in that scene don't get me wrong but the second hand embarrassment is just too much for me to take sksks

her sisters, while the worst, are the funniest. so props to them.

yes, the scene of him with the sex workers is gross bc it's very unlike colin. however…. my god is luke hot. please let me see more of him in roles like that, thank you very much.

also someone pointed it out that you can see his tattoo in that scene and wow you really can. they did a poor job of covering it up lol or at least a hasty one

(this is a side note too, but i could swear on my life that there is another romcom where it's a guy trying to help a girl get a date and on one of the days he tries to help he leaves to go hook up with someone else or before hand is hooking up with someone else. i know it probably exists out that but that whole sequence reminded me of something i can't remember fully)

him remembering the first time they met is adorable and i'm so happy they kept it similar to the books. but i do also love the fact that he thinks she was able to laugh things off with him bc she was charming and not bc she was totally in love with him from the second she saw him lol

the statue of eros and psyche on the table while they talk about how they met YALL AIN'T SLICK I SEE YOU

this whole scene is so flirty and cute omg i love it

i highly recommend on a rewatch to put the english audio descriptors on bc… this scene is a *chefs kiss* when it ends with "rae stares at them sourly… rae follows, casting a sharp look at colin" that queen knows what's going on sksks

him touching her back…. SCANDALOUS. literally when i first saw this i gasped

okay, so the whole part of him teaching her to flirt or whatever was what i was talking about in the previous episode. so many ppl in pen's life don't see her as capable to be a woman. to them, she's a child, navigating the world confused and with her head in the clouds. her sisters have never seen her as competition bc to them, she will be a spinster. el would have never suspected pen to want a husband bc she always assumed that they would both be old maids together, regardless of what pen wanted. colin didn't think she would be able to flirt with him or take his breath away bc he saw how she was at the park (a singular time) and "knew" that she was incapable of being a flirt, which is why he's so taken aback by her "remarkable shade of blue" comment. everyone underestimates her and never suspects her to be an actual woman, when she has been one for quite sometime.

him being stunned into silence THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT BB

parts of this episode, and really the whole of part one, were spoiled to me (thanks so much for that twitter). and i heard ppl saying that colin writes smut in his journal and i'm like… surely that's not the case. and it really wasn't, but i think so many ppl got hung up on the fact he did that and not on the fact that he literally says "yeah i'm having all this sex, but i'm lonely. there's no love here" like… what a sad boy.

colin being angry is so hot, i'm sorry. i'm toxic lol

again, audio descriptor coming in clutch "he curls his fingers inward, softly enfolding hers" BROOOOOOOOO i died when i heard that the first time omg

i love he's like "maybe we should finish this for the day. but also…….. am i gonna see you later" this guy is touch STARVED my lord lol

el caring about pen… my heart hurts

i need it to be known that luke/colin looks so much like nick/kevin jonas to me it's crazy. certain angles make him look exactly like them it's nuts.

colin "praise kink" bridgerton unlocked by just pen saying a few sweet words about his writing… same

them just giggling at a guy mourning the loss of his horse… they are sick and twisted and perfect for one another lmao

el has the loudest mouth in all the ton, my GOD

"inserts himself? inserts himself where?" will never not be funny.

jealous by nick jonas playing…. i know that's right

it's also hilarious to think that colin is literally jealous of her talking to some other guy that he did not decide she should talk to. and then hearing he's calling upon her tomorrow, the face he makes????? omg i'm DYING i love jealous men i'm sorry

angry colin twice in one episode???? fuck i'm in heaven

never did i think in my wildest dreams i'd see pen's sisters fucking their husbands sksksks

the pen and portia scene hurt a lot, imma be honest. i think what's so interesting is how similar they are to one another in a way, but how pen still has hope, while portia doesn't.

and there is one brief moment when she tries to reach out and comfort pen… god, that made me tear up the first time i saw it.

him bribing rae??? thank you sugar daddy haha

also did anyone else notice pen's little smile when he said that?? i'm LOSING IT

omg this kiss scene sent me into literal orbit holy shit

the first time i saw this scene i straight up cried bc i relate to pen so much so... that was fun lol

the emotional range this scene has is fantastic. pen's desperation and plea to colin, her finally admitting to something she truly wants and putting herself out there, and getting it back in return instead of disregarded. and the kiss?????? the score, the movement, the emotion; god an absolute 20/10 i've rewatched it countless times and never get tired of it

and colin being absolutely enamored and in love with her instantly once he kissed her??? ROMANCE IS BACK BABY

[momoemarias]

So I rewatched one of my fave cartoons ever recently

eene is so far in the rearview mirror for me now that I forget a lot of what it was initially like when the show was airing on tv. Like I couldn’t remember why some people thought s4 was a step down from s3 (even though I agree s3 is my fave). But I read someone’s review of a twist of ed that jogged my memory. Basically the reviewer was disappointed that they missed the opportunity to change the status quo at the end. And it hit me that there are s4 eps that are waaay more enjoyable knowing that we get s5 and the movie later. They aren’t BAD they’d just be kind of a bummer if s4 really was the end. I really disliked take this ed and shove it because it felt like such a grim note to end on. So while I do like s4 this realization made me remember why it left some people sour. That being said I wish s4 got way more credit for its silly goofy eps! It definitely wasn’t all bitter.

-

Here’s a possibly hot take: if anything s5 PROVES their friendship is still strong. Like Edd has every reason to be busy with school things and still chooses to be attached to the hip with slackers like Ed and Eddy? It feels unfair to me that this season gets blamed for being this dysfunctional era of the show. There are iffy moments here and there sure, but there are way more positives imo. I’m a s5 defender. It does commit a few crimes (a couple eps feel boring and they do more gross jokes?) but it’s pretty great. My least fave season is s1 (it’s just a little undercooked sorry).

-

I kind of wish the line in Edd’s character bible re: always being ready for action was more popular with fans. He’s a stick in the mud in a funny way not in a stops the plot in its tracks way! He’s open to silly stuff even in the later seasons! He just has to complain and be annoying (affectionate) first. I remember some of those more hypocritical writing moments confusing me as a kid (like do you want to be here?? lol) but in hindsight it just doesn’t feel that serious anymore. Edd is there because those are his friends, he likes doing the scams, there’s no ‘guilty by association’ and he wouldn’t be better off with the other kids since people love to forget he’s an outcast too.

I wish I could remember more of what it was like pre-movie. It’s so easy to handwave away some interpretations now that there’s a legit conclusion.

-

It feels like the abusive households theory is more prevalent than the (lame tbh) purgatory theory these days. The only thing I disagree with is that I don’t think any of the Eds’ parents are like. hellspawn or anything. I think there is neglect in both Ed and Edd’s households but they don’t hate their kids they’re just imperfect. Less malicious intent and more… they could do a lot better lol. I think Eddy’s parents are pretty good (comparatively?).

Admittedly though Ed’s home life is super hard to pin down bc the iconic WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STAIRS moment is taken so seriously. But Kevin’s parents put chains around the tv and cookie jar when he gets grounded so like!! what is real and what is cartoony exaggeration in this universe!!

On that note I actually think Ed’s bedroom being in the basement is… really cool? It would be concerning if there’s a lot of mold down there, but I always thought a teen (pre-teen in this case) boy would love having a cool spacious lair for a bedroom. He has his own tv even! I’m willing to bet the boys spend the most time in Ed’s bedroom than anyone else’s (which is so weird considering Eddy’s is on ground level AND has its own door. like hello that should be the hangout spot).

I could talk more but this has been in my drafts long enough. Sometimes a 20yo Canadian cartoon can be so personal.

[mikhardwheat]

Mike Wheeler Theory. DM to Paladin pipeline.

People here were talking about the reason why Vecna attacked only when Mike left the Hawkins. And how he was straightforwardly called "a heart" by Will later in the season.

He's the one holding the shield here, while everyone else backs him up. And while we have Lucas on the right, who was and is a Knight (warrior) too, Mike chose to be a Paladin (knight of honor).

Which is interesting, because:

He was DM before, right? He practically wrote the whole story while it was happening. (Also, it's worth mentioning that he canonically wants to be a writer).

And what happens after is: Will goes missing and Mike totally loses his mind, trying to find him. And then there's El, and he wants her to bring Will back, but the whole thing just keeps going down. Mike doesn't have control over the situation and it freaks him out

They, obviously, do not play DnD while Will is somewhere missing.

But when they get him back, and by the end of the s1 Mike's is DMing again (he is writing the story).

This got me thinking (I came up with this theory in September, so correct me if I'm wrong):

In s2 he's not constantly freaking out, despite El going missing. He's got his usual life back. Notably, he isn't playing, he DMs.

Now, we know Wheeler siblings are control freaks, right. They like when things go the way they want them to and hate the change, especially if it's an uncomfortable or/and an unexpected one.

Skipping 2nd season, in the 3rd season Mike isn't the one hosting the game, which, considering the two seasons and his personality, is weird.

Will does it instead, and Mike not only doesn't want to play, he makes a show out of how much he isn't interested in participating. 3rd season Mike doesn't have a leading position for the first time in the show, and we're just ignoring it somehow??

Or y'all figured it out and I'm just being slow. In any case...

4rd season Mike is the first one we get as a full-time player, and he choses a "Trusted Leader" (ref. the picture above). Safe option for his pride, if you ask me.

1st season again: Will throws the dice and gets 7 (meaning, Demogorgon takes him), and Lucas offers him to cheat, because Mike didn't see the number, but Will decides he'd tell him the truth.

Lucas said, Will could've lie and Mike wouldn't possibly know he did. This lie would've saved Will's life. And it doesn't have to do anything with Mike, who supposedly is in the lead. Because if Mike doesn't know, it didn't happen. Mike's influence goes as far as his knowledge goes.

Off-top: I also think, the dice scene was foreshadowing Will's fake death, because Mike didn't believe Will is dead even after he saw the body. Mike didn't witness Will die = Will is alive. Simple as that.

Finn said Mike's role was passive in s4 and he is right! Mike wasn't the one to initiate anything since s3 where he lost/abandoned his hosting privilege.

However, as I mentioned before, in s4 Mike is a player (both in ell Fire and in real life). As soon as El gets taken away - she was the reason he stopped playing, keep that in mind - he starts doing conscious decisions again. He plays the game.

El's "From El" letter hit him hard not only because it was his own medicine shoved down his throat. He is forced to "look at the table".

He has been clearly avoiding his responsibilities before, but this makes him realize his mistake. It reminds him of how bad he actually is at losing control and how damaging it appears to be. Not only for him, but for the others too.

Side note, literally nothing happened when Byhop siblings left Hawkins. The only two people in the show who are connected to the Upside Down and were proved to be capable of surviving it. Why Vecna didn't attack as soon as the worthy opponents weren't here anymore?

Instead, he waited for Mike to leave, before he took the first shot. (On the afterthought, Vecna's victims were experiencing the symptoms while he was still in the town).

And now we can go back to the painting, after all of my points were made:

Mike Wheeler is the Shield of Hawkins. He protects the town as well as his companions. The way he holds his sword - upright and forward, causing the beast to stay away, can easily mean that he's one of the few things that keep Upside Down hidden from others.

It's his little world that he was slowly loosing control of ever since s1. And now he's forced to fight to get it back.

This theory has no conclusions, only observations, but I know that there are smart people over here, who can make something out of it.

If you've read it all... Thanks.

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Star Wars! Nothing But Star Wars!

Happy May the Fourth! On this Star Wars day, I’d like to take a look back at some of the many ways this beloved franchise has been a part of my writing life – from blog posts, to poems and TikToks, to immersive theatre!

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The Disney+ series The Mandalorian has inspired many of my “Thursday Thoughts” blog posts. It all started with me comparing different Mandalorian characters to the denominations of Judaism, in my December 2020 post, “Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox Mandalorians.” Here’s an excerpt:

Then the pandemic hit, and I found myself furloughed, with so many empty hours on my hands and a Disney+ account still at my fingertips. I ended up watching all of Clone Wars and Rebels over the course of a few weeks, greatly expanding my Star Wars exposure.

“Huh,” I found myself thinking more than once, “there’s a lot of Mandalorians in these shows. And they keep taking their helmets off! What’s up with that?

“You know what,” I joked in a text to a friend, “I bet they’re all Reform Mandalorians, and our buddy Mando is Orthodox.”

The best part is, over time, the subtext turned into text. The Mandalorians aren’t Jewish, exactly, but they are undeniably a diaspora culture with strong parallels to my experience as an American Jew. I realized that this series is connected by a single question: what does it mean to be a Mandalorian? It’s a question that all real-world members of diaspora cultures must grapple with – without a homeland to unite us, what makes us, us?

I examined the show’s many answers to this question last month in my post, “The Mandalorian Question.” I won’t excerpt it here – it’s full of season three spoilers! – but I encourage you to give it a read if you’ve seen the show and want to learn just how deep I can dig a rabbit hole. This is the way!

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In 2021 and 2022, I had the amazing opportunity to be a show writer for Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser – the world’s first fully-immersive hotel. This two-day, two-night immersive experience casts the guest as the main character of their own Star Wars story. For me, this meant spending my days running around a spaceship, my laptop in my arms, chasing aliens!

During my time on board the Starcruiser Halcyon, I collaborated with the Immersive Experience Director team to develop the show. Together we created performance tools which allow actors to invite the guests to step forward and play in a way never before seen at a Disney park or resort. Many of this show’s scenes are “non-scripted.” This means that a character enters the scene with pre-knowledge and guiding intentions or goals. They ask questions to connect with the guests and, with the guests’ help, move the story forward. I developed and documented non-scripted scenes for every story track in the show. I also had the opportunity to create scripted character moments for media events, including a character appearance featured on Good Morning America.

While I can’t share the documentation itself, I am eternally grateful to the vloggers who have revealed the adventures of the Halcyon’s inhabitants to the world. So now, I can show you what happens when a Saja invites a guest into the Climate Simulator to learn about the Force, give you a glimpse into Sammie the mechanic’s first moments asking the guests to help him navigate the ship, and bring you along on one of my favorite plotlines – Sandro’s attempts to woo fellow musician Ouanii.

I take a lot of pride in my writing, but I freely admit that I have a difficult time putting into words just how much this project meant to me. While working on the Halcyon, I bonded with the cast and crew in a way that still resonates with me a year later. We were all truly living and breathing Star Wars, teaching each other how to make the impossible possible – and we did it. Now, this story I had a hand in creating has come to life for thousands of people. We’ve made long-time fans’ dreams come true and helped new fans take their first Star Wars steps. Sometimes I have a hard time believing it happened – but it did.

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Being able to bring someone else’s intellectual property to life has served me well as a professional writer – but it’s always fun to go exploring through my favorite fictional worlds on my own time! I am a proud fan writer, and in high school, this meant writing fanfiction. A couple years ago, I found my way into the world of TikTok storytelling – a joyous combination of writing, cosplay, and interactive roleplay.

Star Wars fans on TikTok love to portray their favorite characters and create original characters of their own. I was inspired by these incredible creators to bring my own Star Wars character to life on my TikTok channel. Her name is Shira Alderaani Khesed; she is a poet, a mechanic, and a citizen of Alderaan, a planet literally destroyed by the titular war. Shira first appeared to me in the form of a poem written from her point of view, which you can hear me recite here. Here’s an excerpt:

What happens when a planet’s blown away? When millions of voices stop at once And millions of hearts fall silent, too…

I’ve taken Shira on a few short TikTok adventures since then, using the hashtag #shiraalderaani – including using this all-too-relatable soundbite here – and I’m excited to do more with this character!

Of course, I don’t only write poetry from a fictional character’s point of view. As we neared the opening day of Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, I wrote a poem in celebration – a tribute to all who brought this incredible project to life. I shared it to Instagram at the time, but I’ll put it at the end of this blog post, too.

Thank you for coming on this journey of Star Wars introspection with me! If you’re an artist, how has Star Wars played a role in the works you create and the stories you tell? If you’re not an artist, what Star Wars content do you most enjoy? (Movies, series, books, music, fanart… anything!)

May the Fourth be with you!

*

The Halcyon may soar among the stars But no stars shine so brightly as the ones Who walk her halls and bring this ship to life - The Saja, the musicians, and the droids The heroes and the villains, scoundrels, too The soldiers, the commanders, and the crew Mechanics, humans, aliens – faces shown, And every face no passenger will see The names they’ll read on nametags, learn in blogs, And all the names our guests will never hear - Costumers, techs, directors at the helm, Assistants on whose shoulders we all ride, Those near and far who dreamed that it would be, Who gave their time, their work, their love, their lives… This writer stands among you, ever proud To share your climb, to celebrate, to rise And lift my voice in praise of Halcyon – Our Starcruiser – and all who make her fly!

SAK

[alicepao13]

Happy 30th Anniversary Inspector Rex!

Kommissar Rex was always "the little show that could". It could easily find its way into your heart with a cute dog, it could have silly and heavy plotlines, it could (even back then) handle societal issues with a certain grace and sensitivity. Imagine my surprise when I went back to watching it after (admittedly) quite a bit of time to realize that it still mostly held up (I'm only talking about the German/Austrian production). And damn, how funny it could be sometimes. It would also spend a substantial amount of time focused on the bad guy of the week in the episode, which I believe served two purposes: it made us understand them better and it was a less heavy load on the main actors.

I was introduced to it when I was about 10 years old and possibly too young for some cases that they showed (although the networks here had cut any and all sexual content). Tobias Moretti had already left the show but in my country we still had the episodes with him airing and it was the 90s so it was the no-spoiler age (we didn't even have internet until the mid-2000s in my house). I recall having a bit of a crush on Moser. I remember how gutted I was when he was replaced and I didn't even get to watch the episode he was killed on until way later (maybe they didn't even air it). Anyway, one day I saw Brandtner on my tv and was not impressed lol. I was young enough to not be able to tell that they were in the process of switching the dog.

(Sorry about the images. I have a shitton of them but as I mostly got them all when dial-up connection was a thing, they're pretty damn small in dimensions, so any image I have to get now about his show, I'm just googling as I write this.)

When they changed to Gedeon Burkhard, kid me didn't really like the change but that changed when I revisited it as a teenager (a new network here picked it up and showed all the episodes again, funnily enough this show was picked up by 3 different networks, without counting the networks that picked up Hudson and Rex, and each one would add the next "generation" with the next actor that replaced the previous one lol). And it so helped that I got closure on Moser and watched his final episodes. I cried. I dare you to watch these episodes and not cry when you see Rex over Moser's dead body. And on the next episode where they introduce Brandtner and show how he bonds with Rex. I totally get how the show got more popular with Brandtner's episodes internationally but not domestically. He was a new age cop back then, he could run and fight and box and be somewhat sensitive, and he had abs lol. Now, as an adult I don't need guys to have abs on my crime shows but back then it was impressive (not to mention my watching experiences in Greek shows back then in that genre were classified as... meh).

At some point, they changed the lead again. And the dog. I suspect these changes had to do with the chemistry between human and canine actor as well.

This was the first time they had a woman in the team too. I admit that Alexander Pschill never hit the right tone for me, not that I didn't like him. I think it didn't help that the change was pretty much "we will pretend that Moser and Brandtner never existed and Hoffmann always had Rex". It bothered me. But I understand why they couldn't kill one of Rex's partners again. The romance with Nikki was a bit nice. I don't remember a lot from these as I watched them while in college (the show had already ended 4 years ago) and I'd just hit my golden crime show age, so I was looking for something more impressive. There were notable episodes, though, that I still remember.

The last Greek network that aired Kommissar Rex also aired a couple of seasons from this. I'm surprised that they presented it as a continuation instead of an adaptation and actually set up the story to start from Vienna. They kept the story up to Moser's death and then had Fabbri adopt him and bring him to Rome. The tone of the show was already lighter, and the sexism heavier. That was probably due to the Italian culture too (don't hate me if you're Italian, we're the same in a lot of things about that and I actually have Italian roots). Anyway, if I were to purely focus on Fabbri and Rex's partnership, it wasn't bad. I didn't like the actor much but that's a personal preference kind of thing. The episodes did have some action which was good. And then, surprise surprise, he was killed lol

Rivera was a better character for me and it's interesting that they had him be like, no I don't want a dog. That went on for a couple of episodes, if I recall (I haven't watched the Italian episodes a lot, I couldn't find subtitles until way later for these). As I've said before, he was quieter than the loud Fabbri and I liked that. There was also no cringe romance with the forensics lady which I'd hated with Fabbri (imagine how badly it was set up for me to hate that kind of ship lmao).

Terzani was promising but I unfortunately found only one season of his episodes. I'm hoping to properly meet this guy sometime in the future. There are a few episodes the plot of which I've read and I want to see those tropes play out. He was more of a Brandtner type and... lived in a boathouse? Something like that. He was interesting.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that there are other adaptations out there that for various reasons (mostly availability and language) in Europe I couldn't watch. I remember that when I was in my teen years, I used to hope that one day Rex would be picked up for an English speaking adaptation. I was thinking the US but Canada was definitely as good an option. It just took me about a season to find it and I'll explain why. I'd never thought that we'd go from a show called "Inspector Rex" to Rex being second in the title so I'd noticed the "Hudson and Rex" title but didn't think it could possibly refer to this franchise lol

I'm using this promotional photo on purpose because it pretty much reflects the change that came with this show. Hudson and Rex is not what I'd call a true ensemble but it's closer to it than Inspector Rex ever was. Hudson and Rex is a modern crime show that is trying to keep the identity of the original while adding new elements like true team work, and chose to build on these characters and on Hudson and Rex's partnership instead of replacing actors and characters. I respect them for that and it gave the show an advantage over its predecessors. They now have years of history together, and with the rest of the characters too. On top of that, they developed an adequate non-toxic ship that I could get behind, which they had the guts to make canon (something that to this day crime shows are often wary about). No matter where the show ends up (as it's still ongoing but it's probably on its last legs which is okay), I'd say it's worth the time I spent on it. Maybe some of it was due to nostalgia but I still enjoy it.

Happy 30th Anniversary to the Rex franchise! Thank you for the countless hours of enjoyment!