#the pain is coming though lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writing-whump · 5 months

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I love them so much, all three of them 🥺

And it's great to see the progress they made. Subtle changes of dynamic. See how they all are complex and complicated, each in their own way. How they need each other (sometimes even for *shooing* someone to action :D )

I'm not able to write coherent comments, but I wanted to praise your way of writing.

A. 🐾

Aww A.!

Thank you so much for these lovely comments 😍 you just made my hard hurried day very worthwhile.

I'm so so glad the last fic worked out? I was super nervous about it for some reason, lol.

Also look at me, writing three non emeto fics in a row - and I still got readers. 💕✨️

Thank you for stopping by to share this🥺💙✨️

#ask #comments #thank you!!#those little dog footprints are so cuuute #A anon #the pain is coming though lol #I also kinda made someone cry in every non emeto fic?#next challange: fic where no one cries?#LOL #but I'm so here for thr comfort so a crisis has to happen somehow

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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It's evil that you can be in pain while doing nothing. What do you mean my body is damaged and shouldn't be used in certain ways, I'm literally doing NOTHING what more can you WANT.

#disability #chronic pain #though i think my gloves are helping my hand pain #you never consider when using an aid the consequences of My Skin Looks Like My Aid Now #i'm glad to actually be over my pill aversion a bit because i kind of need to take pain killers now (even irregularly)#what has this world come to (in pain)#on the bright side: i'm learning more about my pain and how to help it #i have learned that warm water should NOT hurt my hands and that's a sign to start wearing my gloves lmao #did you know how painful even warm water can be? i never really thought about why it always hurt until now lol

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malaierba · 4 months

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Been thinking, there's an issue with how creators and readers often approach the theme of "coming back wrong", since so much of the emphasis ends up being put in the "they came back part". Especially on the readers' side, the idea that someone would do whatever it takes to bring you back is parsed as romantic and devoted, which it can be, but it overlooks a big element of the concept.

Coming back wrong, or even just performing forbidden rituals etc in general, for it to be impactful needs to place a big AND constant focus on the in-universe equivalents of Do Not Resuscitate & bodily autonomy when one can't consent.

It's not just the coming back. It's that you don't know what type of body, what type of mind you're coming back to. It's the dysphoria, if it can exist (and it should), and the expectation that you'll be okay with whatever was done to your inert body when you couldn't decide over it. You're back, you're alive, surely you can get over the circumstances under which it happened, be thankful.

You don't even need to get abstract with "the inherent feeling of wrongness that comes from being brought back from death", most humans can't relate to that, it's vague to the point where it isn't real stakes. It's just a non-issue mentioned to give a fake sense of stakes.

But if you take inspiration on DNR, from people whose lifestyle was changed radically from being saved from a situation where they may have preferred to be allowed to pass on. Like, say:

You come back, and you gotta learn to use your body from zero, and you'll be reliant on others forever. Or you come back and you look so different you feel disconnected from yourself, and every waking moment is uncomfortable. Or you come back, and too much time has passed, you feel like the life you were meant to live got away from you. Or you come back, and what was done to your changes you so fundamentally you end up isolated even if it's no one's intention. Or the ones that brought you back didn't do it selfishly but out of entitlement to your life.

The wrongness needs to be acknowledged often to the point of tediousness, only then would the spectator get a real sense of "okay, I see now why that'd be an issue, and why many would hate it".

#Thinking of The Arcana (Asra's Route which was uncomfortable to me and apparently no one else. which was a shame bcs i think the +#discomforting angle is way more interesting than the hopelessly devoted romantic one. ESPECIALLY because Asra gives up half their heart but #we never really understand how that realistically affects them like. the way it's such a non-issue you'd think they were a donor -#to a hair transplant !) vs. Stories like SHE MAKES HUNGRY (scientists loses whole human life) or FACING THE SUN (survival guilt + chronic -#pain + wretched familial relations forever turned into toxic waste sludge)#been thinking about how it is done in Dungeon Meshi but I'd have to reread. I'm not sure Falin lost anything that would actually be missed #when she was brought back but I'd have to reread. kind of feels like anyone who interacted with the Lion lost something bigger #but that isn't even the same circumstances anymore. those guys were essentially dealing with the devil lol. really gotta reread paying -#attention to that though.#rambles #well! on the topic of the Arcama Lucio probably represents the price of coming back wrong best but not even really? he WANTED to come back.#in a way everything happens bcs he wanted to get his way with everything forever. so that's not quite it.

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ef-1 · 8 months

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girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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kennys-parka-jacket · 6 months

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You ever listen to a playlist you made and notice an unintentional theme crop up? Such sweet serendipity

#on my stan and kenny playlist there's a theme of rain. it's soothing; but you can get lost in it. it represents finding happiness in pain #for kenny and bebe there's cars. freedom; independence; budding maturity; living fast #kenny and tammy has dancing. feeling good with a partner; loving how your bodies move together; it's fun and comes naturally #alright; that one was sorta intentional. a lot of pop from 2010-2014 was about parties and groove. still though lol

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anthromimicry · 16 days

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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships #where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly #NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.

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travelingtwentysomething · 14 days

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🎼Trauma Dump🎶

If I just up and disappear I may have died. I think I have a DVT but can't go to the hospital in case it's not. So if I stroke out or something someone finish my fics 🤘 took aspirin, drinking tons of water and cranberry juice, elevated the leg. Let's see, might be punching out the week before my 32nd 👻

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emmavakarian-theirin · 2 months

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"we're gonna take the skin from your neck" the surgeon said

"it's the easiest place to hide scars" the surgeon said

idk man i still think the hip was a better option than making me look like i tried to cut my own throat

#it's been over a month and it still feels like someone's trying to strangle me 😬#whereas my hip is almost unnoticeable #like don't get me wrong at this point i don't really care about scars but when it's healing this way and implies such a thing?#and yes that's another one along my hairline too #and at this point i have no memory of when the stitches on my head are meant to come out 🤕 fun times #but at least majority of the pain is gone #i dread my next appointment though when they decide what treatment to trial me with like i'#--i'm a project lol #personal #me ranting #tw scars

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sysig · 1 year

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Blusters in, flusters out (Patreon)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Emperor Awesome #Commander Peepers #Yet again some light Eyesome - at Least on the friendship side of things <3 #Drawing Awesome's big smile-laugh was so fun ahh ♥ His mouth and teeth shape with his gums showing! The fact both eyes are hidden!#His hand grabbing his chest lol ♪ I was thinking the way Chris Evans laughs haha #And then pulling a ''Cute'' on Peeps hehe <3 He's said that before when he's being mean! (Though I like to think he also meant it lol)#He probably thinks cute is lame :P But cute is cute! Girls can be cute Peepers can be cute dolls can be cute! Cute runs the gamut!#I am so pleased with the little blush hashmarks where Awesome pinched him haha ♪ He is So pissed #It seems like Watchdog eyes can be touched - lightly - or at least they can choose to touch things with their eyes open #Biting/licking tends to be a closed-eye activity but Peepers has been seen drinking with his eye open! It's interesting #I think it'd probably be uncomfortable but not painful - I dunno whether to think of Watchdog eyes as being more or less moist haha #If they're more then they'd have a thicker mucus membrane to protect them - almost like frog skin?#But if it's less then it's almost more like plain skin itself - self-hydrating but thicker #I guess it comes down to what parts of the eye are actually ''eye'' lol - maybe just the iris? Though veins are visible in the sclera!#And they do clearly have eyelids and the ability to blink so they need flexible smooth-moving opaque skin on top :0 Not like a shell haha #Their helmets - Peepers' especially - act more like a shell which is very cute :) I love Peepers' ridiculous ''widows peak'' haha <3 #Feel free to imagine the rest of Awesome as him leaning as far back as possible as he walks away lol #Kicking myself quietly for going with ''Napoleon'' rather than ''Bonaparte'' I think it would've flowed better and been a bit more clever #How does he know who Napoleon Bonaparte is and what he's referring to? Counterpoint what the hell is ''Bon Appétit'' - Wander & Peepers #Lol #Gone as quick as he came #He'll be back in no time to bother him again haha

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tenojan-in-tevinter · 1 year

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Whew ok chalk art achieved!!!

All of my muscles hurt but it was so worth it look at him!! First time I have ever drawn Gale and I think he turned out really well!

At least ten people walking past called him Jesus it was beautiful. One guy came up to it, shouted "GALE!!!!" And then got embarrassed and ran away.

#gale dekarios #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 fanart #bg3 fanart #baldur's gate 3 #thé festival was yesterday it was a lot of fun!#i was so tired when I got home I couldn't even post this yet lol #chalk art is so fun yet so painful the next day #im happy with the colors even though they're not exact #the blue was particularly spectacular in person #i loved blending them into the pavement I got covered in pigment #we had fresh pizza for lunch and gelato and doughnuts #the chalk art festival is literally the best there's always so many people who come to do art #anyways anyways anyways #im super glad he turned out good I was worried cause I've never drawn him before #but soon enough the chalk entranced me and all worries melted away as I got into the zone #look at him look at him!!!!#baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate fanart #baldurs gate 3 gale #my art

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deus-ex-mona · 6 months

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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

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theragamuffininitiative · 6 months

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I watched the doctor donna specials and I have emotions. Also I kinda love fifteen. Also none of those plots made sense but they were still good lol.

I just love the Doctor and his bestie Donna so so much. 😭 she got a happy ending after all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and so did he alkdlrfkleldd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok I'm normal I'm fine.

#ragamusings #the doctor donna #doctor who #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #also how many times was the doctor mortally wounded/dying while wearing that face #bc i feel like it's an alarming number of times #partially bc of his whole crisis about not changing lol but still #anyways if you're david tenant why would you want to change fr #THE HUG FIFTEEN GAVE HIM #like kinda weird to be hugged by yourself but also like fifteen is not himself really?#the bi-regeneration thing is hurting my brain #but it's like the doctor knew he couldn't keep going with all that history and pain holding onto him #so he shed that part of himself in the kindest way to let fourteen heal slowly #albeit while fifteen got the fast track on therapy bc of it lol #don't even look at me about donna i love her so much #i'm so glad she is back to being whole both with her memories and with who she made herself to be since #and now she's made a home for herself and her bestie #also mel???! mel coming back what joy mad auntie mel #and wilf 😭😭😭😭😭😭 my beloved #ok normal normal i'm normal #i was so mad when nph showed up though lol why

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shadowiie · 2 years

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Do you think in shth lost impact, as Shadow is flashbacking an entire level of the game, that Sonic is just watching this guy dissociate to hell and back, unresponsive to any of his words

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #shadow comes back from obtaining the next emerald with a thousand yard stare #not really looking at him or anything around him #sonic asks 'hey you got the emerald right? something the matter?'#shadow doesnt respond #theyre running through the ark and all sonic can do is watch as shadow goes though an entire ass flashback #shadow doesnt even acknowledge sonic at all. all sonic can tell is the occasional wince of pain #and the way shadow mutters 'maria...' under his breath. over and over #lol i think about this specific moment a lot. bc shadow has on multiple occasions gotten a flashback in front of the other characters #im curious as to what they all think

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claire-starsword · 9 months

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Happy new year, the Neocities website now has a revision of my HQ quote translations for active SF2 members, done as an interactive map. This is one of the main things I wanted to do when moving things there and it's a delight to see it in action.

#shining force #shining force 2 #shining force localization stuff #sf2 hq quotes #i rushed a bit cause it was so close to being done so hopefully there aren't any mistakes #resting quotes coming soon #i'll probably do the guide book ones first as they won't be interactive #meanwhile the rest of the HQ is bigger and kind of a pain to code #since i can't generate the positions like this one #problem for the next year though haha lol #(20 minutes to go on my side)

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gingerbreadmonsters · 9 months

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sleepy and v fed up w this blasted reading for japanese history class tomorrow. give me 45 minutes to finish this article and i will be back to talk about kissing or something

#for the blissfully uninitiated: hello i am history student #which is a fantastic thing to be but also a significant pain in the [REDACTED] when it wants to be #the professor for this class is almost unbearably terrible which does not exactly make me WANT to do this reading #but the exam is in like 2 weeks lol #so yk. i have the hardest life of anyone on earth etc etc #god forbid i actually do the degree i asked to do lmao #also i up early this morning to drag myself to the immigration bureau for a visa amendment #which meant a decidedly unpleasant hour on the metro during rush hour :(#its bc im applying for this english TA position in spring #its literally only for 5 days and tbh i wouldn't mind doing it for free bc i am sad like that and enjoy teaching for fun #but it IS paid - and paid work is Not Allowed under my student visa #so even though i literally have not even GOT the job (applications close today) i still had to go and apply for permission to work #watch as they dont hire me lol #oh i should mention - for those who may not know i am in tokyo this year #i am british and i usually go to uni in the uk but im on a study abroad year this year #i came to japan in sept of 2023 so ive been here for coming up on 5 months and i will be going back home in august on 2024 #its weird to think that im approaching the halfway point #tbh i should really just make this a separate post but whatever #coming to japan has been very strange but a good thing i think

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spider-man-2o99 · 1 year

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Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3

thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,

#talking tag #asks #th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol #though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv.#but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just.#..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow #like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk?#i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up #n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down.#but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse.#and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy #CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes.#why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man.#public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD!#i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like #that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is--#--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono #..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow.#i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies #BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope....#(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..

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