#the original beginning of the post was ‘i am actually going to lose my shit’ but i censored myself LMAO

[atrophiedemotion]

i’m actually going to lose it i can’t even imagine how till is doing after round 6. and not in a ‘he had feelings for ivan’ way but in a ‘till has a self belief that he is universally unloved when all he has ever wanted was to be loved and he had to watch the person who loved him most in the world die for him and has to grapple with the fact that he was so deeply cared for and loved despite what he thought’ way. he had his reality shattered.

if he lives past round 7 (please vivinos) he will have to come to terms with truths he never believed in and (hopefully) use those realizations and acceptance to try to actually love himself

[yuri-is-online]

The TWST cast from the original Fyuuture Kid timeline is so Cleopatra by Lumineers coded. They just get their (pregnant) joyfriend ripped away from them, cursed, and then sent back to earth, where they can't follow all in one day. That's gotta be a fucking nightmare. They just lose everything at the same time. Bro. Imagine Jamil or Azul, they had to fight for everything and just when they finally, FINALLY, think they have something that will never leave, it's taken away. Imagine malleus or cater or silver; they've already lost so much, silver just lost his dad and now, when he's going to make his own family, they're taken from him too.

TW FOR SUICIDE.

You wrote one time that of Yuu ever died, Floyd would be quick to follow, so. Did Jade and Azul have to put him on suicide watch? My mind is reeling there were NO WINNERS in this timeline Goddamn.

Sorry for the angst dude I just think about this AU a lot

i am so sorry for making you all live with this many thoughts and just waltzing on off to do fuck all

So there weren't any winners in the original timeline no, but the way things went down sort of prevented the type of outcome you are describing with Floyd due to the potential for hope, that most dangerous of falsehoods. In a way that sort of makes it worse though... so lets talk about what went down shall we?

(I'm going to keep this post to more general information, but I did write some specific ship thoughts I'll probably use for another post later on, I just need to think on some of them more...)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of my fyuuture kid au which can be found under the series section of my masterlist. This post will not contain discussions of suicidal ideation, but will contain major character death and descriptions of violence. If you are curious about what happened to Yuu and Fyuuture kid, look at this post here.

General Original Timeline Facts

To give a brief re-cap of what happens to Yuu, they were arrested by the Magical Marshall's office and sent back to their world, while pregnant, and cursed to forget everything that had happened to them in Twisted Wonderland. Something I didn't mention in that first post, mostly because I intended to imply it in the answer about Riddle's relationship with Yutu but ended up cutting, is that none of the characters actually know that this is what happened at first. They know that Yuu disappeared, but they don't know that the Marshalls were involved or that Yuu went back to their world, which causes a real sense of panic in all of them because holy shit their spouse and unborn child just went missing and they can't seem to get anyone to take this seriously. How the Marshalls went about hiding this information, and what the general public believed happened to Yuu depends on who their husband was, as did the fallout of their disappearance.

For anyone who might be a bit confused, the Magical Marshall's Office is an elite squad of police officers who investigate magical crime, and occasionally deal with overblots. They are the organization that Deuce wants to join one day, which does mean that the people who made the decision to see Yuu as a threat to public safety and send Yuu home were Deuce's own co-workers and friends.

Deuce is the first to suspect that the Marshall's might have had something to do with Yuu's disappearance, but he isn't able to really do much with that. He tries, but he is stonewalled and eventually fired- though by the time that happened monster attacks started getting really bad in the Queendom and Deuce had a whole other set of questions.

Speaking of those monster attacks, the instant Yuu is removed from Twisted Wonderland Grim overblots I have an idea as to why, but it isn't super set in stone. This "Chimera" begins hunting and stirring up monsters, inciting them to attack civilization while it focuses on trying to "wake up" the Phantoms of the Great 7. These phantoms want to re-join with their respective overblot boy, which is an easier task for some of them than others.

The first phantom to re-appear was the Thorn Fairy's. Malleus chose to seal himself and his phantom in an eternal sleep inside the Briar Valley capital after ordering Sebek and Silver to evacuate everyone who lived there, leaving his people truly leaderless and in shambles. He technically also ordered Lilia to go with them, but he refused. He wasn't able to abandon another Draconia to die alone. A lot of nocturnal fae died to the Phantom before Malleus's sacrifice, but because the problem was more or less contained to Briar Valley not all of the other nations saw the monster problem as a threat. They should have.

The second phantom to re-appear was The Queen of Hearts'. Riddle, having been approached by Deuce with his suspicions regarding Yuu's disappearance and outraged by what he saw as a clear violation of the law (if nothing else) was easy prey and re-assimilated into the monster. The phantom then began hunting down each of Riddle's previous dorm mates to corrupt them into card soldiers for its army, eventually fashioning four lieutenants that were a touch more sentient that the others out of Trey, Cater, Deuce, and Ace.

Certain members of the Al-Asim family saw that happen and quietly, without Kalim's knowledge, arrange to have Jamil killed. This doesn't prevent the Sorcerer of the Sands' phantom from reuniting with him, it just means the monster is puppeteering a corpse. And dragging around a second once it gets its hands on Kalim...

Obviously at this point something of a pattern has been established, meaning S.T.Y.X. is expected to do something. Idia does not actually overblot for a second time thank you very much, Phantom Ortho has a mind of his own and he promised to stay in the Underworld until it was Idy's time. His first order of business is to check in on Vil, Azul, and Leona to make sure they're ok. He manages to make contact with Vil, but the Coral Sea proves impossible to get a message through to and Leona is M.I.A. Literally, he and Ruggie have both disappeared while investigating monster attacks around the slums. Idia has a decision to make, and it's not one he really likes, but S.T.Y.X. has a better relationship with the Sunset Savannah than it does the Coral Sea, so it's off to the Elephant Graveyard while Vil agrees to stay behind on the Isle of Woe under observation for his own safety.

It's a decision Idia regrets later. He gets to Leona in time to help him fight and kill the King of Beasts's phantom, but it costs Leona and Ruggie their lives, and while he's there, the Sea Witch's phantom finds Azul and begins using his magic to drain the merfolk dry. Floyd manages to use his unique magic to distract Azul long enough to allow Jade to escape, who only flees because he thought his brother was behind him the whole time. The oceans become polluted with blot, forcing the surviving merfolk to the surface. Many go to NRC and take refuge in the Octavinelle dorm pocket dimension, resulting in the Mostro Lounge being closed to make more room. Somehow that feels more like a killing blow to Azul for Jade than what the phantom did.

Schools like NRC, RSA, and Nobel Bell become sort of centers for survivors due to the large amounts of mages, magical wards, and artifacts that such schools typically have made them safer than most towns. NRC specifically has seen a large influx of magicless people who run a lot of the things the ghosts used to and runs a lot of normal school classes in additional to the magic program, which shifts over time to be more focused on fighting due to the increased monster attacks.

Also Crewel is now Headmage. It would have been Trein but I don't think he needs the stress. I haven't decided if he is still alive or not, but Vargas and Sam are still kicking.

So to give a run down of where everyone stands in the original timeline in order: Malleus and his phantom are trapped in an eternal sleep, Lilia is dead, Silver and Sebek are alive (at least at first) and trying to help the fae refuges displaced by the Thorn Fairy's Phantom. All of Heartslabyul are overblot phantoms, and actively making the Queendom of Roses unlivable. Jamil was assassinated and the Sorcerer of the Sands's phantom went on to kill Kalim and most of his family. To be clear that wasn't because of Jamil's lingering emotions, but good luck explaining that to most people. Vil and Idia are overblot free, Vil because he is being detained on the Isle of Woe and Idia because of his promise with Phantom Ortho. Leona and Ruggie died fighting the King of Beast's phantom. Azul and Floyd are blot phantoms, while Jade is alive and tending bar at what remains of the lounge at NRC.

Now Epel, Rook, and Jack aren't named in that list. No one really knows what happened to them, but they are assumed dead (or at least Jack and Epel are.) Since this is my AU and I get to give out the information, I'll let you know that Rook is a phantom under control of the Fairest Queen's phantom, Jack is dead, and Epel is alive, but cut off from the rest of Twisted Wonderland by the monsters under the Fairest Queen's control. He's right teed off about that, hey Yutu go get him that ladder he's gonna give Rook a piece of his mind-

I do have some ship specific thoughts but I want to cook with them a bit more... but to maaaybe tease some of them?

Yutu and his friends had to fight the Heartslabyul boys multiple times. Yes this hurt their Yutus a lot, and is one of the main reasons Riddle! Yutu hates his dad so much.

Vil can hear the Fairest Queen talking to him and it's not great for his mental stability. Neither is being cooped up in the Isle of Woe, his Yutu did meet him and remembers it being a terrifying experience.

Jade has a good relationship with Floyd! Yutu, Jade and Floyd are their own people but losing Floyd killed a part of him that was slightly healed by getting his nephew back. He likes to tease Azul! Yutu and told him a great deal about his dad. As for his own Yutu... their relationship is a tad strained by how protective Jade is over his son. He is terrified of losing him and what is left of his pearl...

Not all Yutus are in the same dorm as their father. I haven't decided on where all of them are yet, but I did mention once in my replies that Azul! Yutu is in Savanaclaw. I did not mention that he did intend to transfer but couldn't when he accidentally became the Dorm Leader because he got tired of being mouthed off to and knocked someone out. I have an ask about Cater! Yutu I'm working on but I'll add him here as having been put into Octavinelle, and I think I want to put Kalim! Yutu into Pomefiore but I need to cook more...

[ugh-yoongi]

Jewel, I know your requests are closed but I desperately need to hear your thoughts on who in BTS would do this: https://www.tumblr.com/writing-prompt-s/739417828719034368/you-a-powerful-demoness-have-just-been-summoned

and why is it Namjoon (the potential for crack with this 148 IQ man who is also way more innocent than we think acc to one park jimin just takes me out)

i'm so sorry it took me so long to finish and post this but thank you so much for sending it bc i have been cackling about this scenario ever since.

the prompt: you, a powerful demoness, have just been summoned to earth. this man, this human, wants you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a few days so his parents will get off his back about it.

the gang summons a demon

pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: supernatural au; crack warnings: reader is a demon and engages in demon behavior, swearing, namjoon makes mention of not being straight, heteronormative parental expectations, jk learns about arcane things on tumblr (which is not an original idea; i read a fic ages ago where taekook are tumblr witches but i cannot find it, so credit to that author or whoever came up with it first), unedited so any mistakes are mine. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 2k

It’s been years since you’ve been to Earth—even longer since you’ve been to South Korea.

“I haven’t been here since 1910,” you say, staring at the gobsmacked man across from you. He’s tall, with tanned skin and a bleached buzz cut; a smattering of tattoos dotting his toned arms—whites and rich hues of blue, imitations of some kind of ceramic art, you think; a golden hoop through his nose; cheeks with dimples so deep you’re sure they’ll crater. “People here definitely didn’t look like you back then, so I’m going to assume we’re pretty far into the future.”

“It’s 2024,” he answers, seemingly still a little dazed. He’s staring at you with wide eyes, jaw dropped. Normally it’s nice to be looked at like that, with all the reverence and awe you deserve, but Earth is not your favorite place to be. Doesn’t even crack the top fifty, if you’re being honest. “Did you say 1910? As in the beginning of the—”

You sigh. “Uh-huh. Hey, if you wouldn’t mind hurrying this up, I’ve got things to do.” The man continues staring. Could be a trick of the light, but you think he’s turning paler by the second.

Minutes tick by. Nothing but silence.

“Are you even listening to me?” you snarl, quickly losing patience you were never given. “I said I’ve got shit to do. My schedule’s booked solid for the next eight centuries, so I really don’t have time to be dilly-dallying in mundane human affairs. Your problems are always so boring.”

More silence.

Which is irksome, sure, but what’s worse is this stupid fucking circle you’re trapped in. Drawn crudely on the floor of (seemingly) this human man’s actual apartment, which would’ve told you all you’d needed to know, if you’d taken ten seconds to take in your surroundings upon first being summoned. This place has got books stacked floor to ceiling in every available inch of space, but you’re certain this person is a fucking idiot.

“Hello?”

The man shakes his head. “Oh, sorry, I just—I’m Namjoon? Kim Namjoon.”

“I don’t care.”

“Right, right.” He sucks in a deep breath. “Well, you’re probably wondering why I summoned you here today”—you roll your eyes—“and, uh.” Namjoon scratches at the back of his neck, anxiety oozing from every pore on his body. Definitely paler. “I am too, to be honest.”

“You what—”

“I didn’t mean to!” Namjoon hurriedly adds, all of that anxiety shifting quickly into pure panic. “It’s just—it was a joke! Mostly! Jeongguk said it as a joke, because everything he says is a joke, and I should’ve known that, but—I don’t know! I’ve tried everything else, and the longer its gone on the more desperate I’ve become, and suddenly what Jeongguk said as a joke didn’t sound so much like a joke anymore! I’m sorry! I didn’t think it’d actually work!”

It takes your brain a minute to translate and decipher the useless slush that just came out of his mouth, but when it does… oh, when it does, you feel absolutely murderous. “You summoned me as a joke?”

Namjoon must see it, too. There’s no way you’re looking cool, calm, and collected right now, because you’ve seen the faces of others that have witnessed your wrath, and they were almost always on the brink of (if not outright) shitting their pants. This stupid, clueless human in front of you doesn’t appear to be faring much better.

So you continue, just to watch him squirm. “Do you have any idea who I am?”

“Um,” comes his brilliant response. “Yes?”

“And who am I?”

He holds up his pointer finger and digs through the back pocket of his jeans. Pulls out a crumbled scrap of paper, nearly soiled from ass sweat and time, and his eyes squint as he tries to read it. “I—well, it’s probably not an accurate translation, you know, since—”

“What does that piece of parchment say, Kim Namjoon?”

“Nothing,” he lies. “I can’t read it anyway, so… a-haaa…”

Patience officially worn thin, you snap your fingers, delighting in the startled shriek that escapes him as the paper goes up in a plume of smoke. “I am going to give you one chance to be honest with me,” you explain slowly, leveling him with a look. “Who do you think I am, and why am I here?”

Namjoon pales further. Looks like he’s trying to melt right through the floor into a puddle of useless slush, and you’d be more than willing to speed up the process if it weren’t for this god forsaken demon trap.

“Can I—can I sit down for this?”

Kim Namjoon, you learn, has a friend named Jeon Jeongguk.

Jeon Jeongguk, you also come to learn, has learned magic from a website called Tumblr.

“There, uh. There are definitely blogs for that sort of thing,” Namjoon explains, tattooed fingers scratching at the back of his neck. He takes a very quick glance at you. “Clearly not very accurate ones.”

You hum. “That’s the only smart thing I’ve heard you say since I showed up in this shithole.”

Namjoon gawks. “Hey, my apartment isn’t a shithole! It’s the best I could afford, alright? There was just an article in The Business Times about how archaic of a system jeonse is—”

“Uh-huh. And this… website?”

Namjoon goes red. Coughs into his fist. “Oh, right, yeah. I’m gonna be honest with you—”

“I already said that—”

“—my parents are coming to visit from Ilsan in a few days and I need a girlfriend.”

You blink. Once, twice, three times. Long enough to replace the rug that had been pulled from under you, because you’re pretty sure you heard this human man allude to having summoned you so you can pretend to be his girlfriend.

All things considered, you’re impressed by how calm you are. This is not a trait most demons have, you especially, and it makes you nostalgic for the days you used to rip men apart limb by limb for less.

“Are you insane?” you ask simply.

“In my defense,” he explains around a wince, “Jeongguk said it was a love spell.”

“A love spell.” Namjoon nods. “And you wound up summoning a demon.”

“It… appears I may have done that, yes.”

“And you want a demon to meet your parents?”

“I mean… when in Rome, right?”

“I’ve committed at least four-hundred and sixty-seven separate atrocities there, so no, probably not when in Rome.”

Namjoon’s jaw drops. He tucks his knees closer to his chest. “Christ, that’s a lot. How did you have the time?”

“I’m immortal,” you deadpan.

“Right, right. Anyway, to answer your question: yes.”

Your eyes narrow. “How bad are your parents that you’d want me to meet them?”

“They’re fine, mostly. I just… am not what they expected in a son? Like, I have the hair and the tattoos and I dropped out of my engineering program in university to pursue art and poetry, so the least I could do is find a wife and settle down and give them grandchildren, but I don’t even know if I want to ever settle down. I’m also not… heterosexual? Entirely? Do you see that a lot—”

You sigh. “Misconception. Not to launch you into some kind of existential crisis, but the gods really don’t give a shit who you humans sleep with.”

“Gods? As in plural?” You snap your fingers. Namjoon’s fingers immediately go to his temples. “Damn, I have a really bad migraine all of a sudden.”

“Yeah, that was me.”

“What’d you do?”

“Made you forget something.”

“Oh. What’d I forget?” It takes a second. “Oh, right, yeah. Um. What was the last thing I said?”

“Your parents wanted you to be an engineer and have a ton of kids but you like art and also not-women, sometimes.”

He flushes again. “I—yes.”

You sigh, arms crossed over your chest. All you want to do is sit down, or open a window. This apartment smells far too strongly of patchouli. “Look, I haven’t been to this place in a long time, but surely you aren’t undesirable by your society’s standards.”

“Are you saying I’m attractive?”

You scowl. “No. I’m saying there had to have been easier ways of doing this, and also can you open a window?”

“It’s February.”

“That means nothing to me.”

“It’s really cold outside.”

“I’m literally from Hell. Go put on a sweater, then.”

With a roll of his eyes, Namjoon stands and moves to the window. Cracks it open a millimeter, just enough for the cold to seep in, before he’s stalking off toward—you’re assuming—his bedroom. You think he’s shoving a garment over his head when he calls out, “You know, you’re really fucking bossy for someone stuck in a trap.”

You vow to kill him as soon as you’re free.

It isn’t often you’re held hostage.

Usually you can spot a trick coming a thousand miles away, but since Namjoon hadn’t meant to summon you at all, you’d been caught unawares. Doomed to be stuck in a demon trap, just like he’d said, which meant you didn’t have a ton of bargaining power.

At least that’s what you’re telling yourself, because as you sit across from Namjoon’s parents at some fancy restaurant, you aren’t convinced he isn’t a crossroads demon himself.

“So,” his mother begins, turning her attention to you, “what do you do for work?”

Namjoon elbows you beneath the table, giving you a silent warning to stick to the script. You’re only here under threat of force—because Jeongguk had stopped by Namjoon’s apartment, saw you in the summoning circle, and nearly fainted before going back to Tumblr to find a binding spell.

Except that one wasn’t great, either, because it only bound you and Namjoon together for three days instead of forever. And, as penance for all the chaos you’ve sown across the universe, Namjoon’s parents’ visit fell within that time frame, so here you are.

Out to dinner. With humans.

You’re pretending to be someone’s girlfriend.

You’re in for the most embarrassing ribbing of your existence once you’re home.

“I work with idols,” you respond, as convincingly as possible, because Namjoon had thought it’d be really funny. Get it? he’d said. Like false idols? You hadn’t laughed. “It’s very secretive, of course, but—”

You don’t finish your thought, because Namjoon’s mother looks delighted: face lit up with mirth, smile blinding, eyes half-lidded under the weight of her happiness. “Oh, how exciting! Has he told you he used to do performances to old H.O.T songs? Namjoonie, what was that one song you liked—”

“Eomma, please—”

“Wasn’t it ‘Candy’?” Namjoon’s dad offers from behind his menu. It’s the first thing he’s said all evening.

Namjoon whimpers, foregoing all social decorum and lectures on posture to sink further in his chair.

You do not, under any circumstances, feel a hint of fondness.

(Which dissipates not even twenty-four hours later.

“The blog was deleted,” Jeongguk says, eyes wide as saucers. “I—the blog is gone, I don’t know how to—”

“What do you mean the blog is gone?” The poor kid is overcome with panic and fear, tries to stutter out a response that makes no sense to you at all through his sobs. “Jeon Jeongguk, what do you mean the blog is gone?”

“I—it’s—I had it bookmarked, I swear! Once the binding spell wore off I was gonna send it to Namjoon hyung so he could send you back, but the blog is gone so the post is gone, too. I don’t—what do I even search for—oh my god, please don’t kill me, I think I’m having a panic attack, I’m gonna—”

And then this human man vomits all over your feet. Namjoon sighs as he goes to fetch a bucket, and you think it’ll be a miracle if any of these people—yourself included—live to see the end of the week.)

[girlfailurefelix]

what gave you the idea for borrowed time? did you have any other plans for it? (aka yap about it all you want)

so actually! i had been thinking about it conceptually for like two weeks before i wrote any of it (i was complaining to my sib about it cuz i was embarrassed to write since i hadn’t since i was a preteen/young teen lol) and it just drove me absolutely nuts cuz i couldn’t stop thinking about it at work.

just gonna establish now since it gets confusing: greg ≠ gregory. i treat them as two different characters in the same body. so i will not use them interchangeably on this ask, just like i don’t in my fic

cut because i am going to YAP

i wrote chapter one as an attempt to stop myself from thinking about it further (i was originally going to kill tony off and have it be a oneshot, either post-pizzaplex escape much like security breach’s bad ending c̶u̶z̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶m̶a̶t̶i̶s̶m̶ or have him end up getting chased to the fire escape and yk, you can fill in the blank on that one. blah blah blah insert something here about tony’s very interesting, incredibly weird intro in the book. i’m still trying to figure that one out cuz other themes in the book [the celtic stuff specifically. this is a huge thing for me and i can go off about how it’s used in the book, but that’s for another post if yall want that] make that interesting if we didn’t know how ggy kills from the therapist tapes. actually, even though you can’t see it, this is how he dies in my cotard’s solution animatic. the knife in it wasn’t for killing him lol, his ass went off the roof [hence “i wanna make my murder look like a suicide”], but now i’m getting sidetracked). but one thing led to another and i wrote chapter 6 and the epilogue.

Chapter 4 was my last written chapter (hence why i don’t bother uploading individual chapters and just drop whole stories at once) if you don’t count editing several parts of chapter 1 (small tweaks for clarity purposes, not huge minus what i mentioned above. debated making this one two chapters but ended up keeping them together as a big one cuz it didn’t make as much sense when split up) and chapter 5 (i originally wrote the car ride to the pizzaplex cuz i thought it would be funny to make tony flip a tit and go hellaciously slow with the fear that he’d get pulled over cuz yk. twelve. but i figured it was too boring and discarded it).

the original title was actually a different song name. (super embarrassing but it was a hollywood undead song -another way out. i might use this later for a different, more fitting fic- cuz it helped me come up with a lot of the smaller details within chapter 1)

i did name it after the song from the death note musical cuz it can be interpreted about being about both tony and gregory. i meant it about gregory personally cuz at the end he quite literally is living on borrowed time (since tony’s death is the reason he’s able to get away from vanny. very remisa.), but tony is too throughout the entire fic, since obviously it’s an extension of his original implied lifespan (you’re welcome, you little shit.) and also cuz he’s putting up with (and being worn down by) greg’s shit the entire time in order to save gregory, even at the risk of his own safety, and i think that lines up really well too.

the chapters also all had individual names but too many were deathnote so i got embarrassed (og title of chapter 4 was the game begins lol, which is why the last sentence of chapter 3 was what it was)

color was SOOOO important. like the names i used were incredibly specific. i really wanted to emphasize how dead greg’s eyes are vs gregory, also how tony was losing steam cuz yk. traumatizing.

i based tony’s mom on mine lol. and she and my sib picked up on that immediately after they both read it (i didn’t have a beta cuz i didn’t take criticism or editing, but i did let them read it immediately) i know she doesn’t check on tony in the book when he sneaks out, but i figured that’s her giving him space, and i loveeeee projecting so that was reflected in the mom parts. mother’s instinct and all that. she totally knew greg was weird after the first night, he wasn’t just bullshitting on that part, but again, space (and yet another projection from a specific experience of my own).

greg. let’s fucking talk about greg. FIRST, he was gonna kill tony’s ass the whole time, despite chapter 4’s events. that was him being manipulative because i just don’t think greg *wouldn’t* notice tony’s behavior. as i wrote, he’s NOT subtle, even in actual canon. he meant what he said when he called him useful, and he certainly didn’t like feeling rejected, but don’t let him fool you, he doesn’t actually like tony. tony actually mentions this in chapter 2 as a possibility and much like his instincts in the actual book, he was right. it was just about dragging it out to make it worse on tony and getting something out of him as a bonus. i like to think of him as building on gregory’s original personality cuz virus, so he’s not that different, but he’s like,, worse if that makes sense. like the worst parts of gregory, amplified. with some killing, yk.

speaking of tony guessing, he was absolutely BULLSHITTING with the greg vs gregory shit. denial is not just a river, he just happened to be right. cuz seriously, he was two seconds from cracking anyway, i mean little dude is SO traumatized, especially at this point.

so gregory. he was able to communicate when half asleep cuz i think that greg/the actual virus would want him to experience the nightmares and such (agony continuing to feed the virus. yk. fnaf shit) to keep him in line. so this is the small window of opportunity he would have to even be a person, much less attempt to save himself. he’s miserable in this state though cuz tired and unable to be fully awake lol. also he can see everything greg does, hence knowing tony and trusting him, but he can’t really do anything about it. he’s always present though.

ellis wasn’t in this besides mentions because of multiple reasons. 1, i wanted to make it clear how much greg was isolating him. like that’s on purpose. 2, it would’ve gotten too convoluted to have tony protecting both of them in this specific case. and 3, i knew i wanted it to loop to security breach, so ellis would’ve interfered with that unless i killed him off. regardless of the fact that i personally see him dying in addition to tony as the canon post-ggy events [cuz let’s be real, regardless of if he believed it, he read tony’s paper. that’s a loose end and a disaster for greg waiting to happen. i don’t think he would risk it, especially since tony’s immediate disappearance would be sus as fuck.], i didn’t feel like killing him off needlessly.

so i actually sobbed after re-reading the end. giggled and kicked my feet about how awful it would be while writing it, but rest assured, it kicked my ass after. like to the point that i considered scrapping it and letting them get out safe (which is where the AU with Sunlight on Your Skin came in), but i knew this was the proper ending for both of them. greg ended up getting his way in the most fucked up way (tony was useful.) but also failing in the same breath, tony got to save gregory (giving him a far more satisfying character arc than his original, meaningless death. also fulfilling the void left by the guilt from not being able to help his dad’s fate), and gregory got saved, even if it was a hollow, tragic “victory” for him.

also i originally was going to have greg fatally wound tony as he won the game, but i wanted to bring in vanny (cuz of the “friends” comment from the beginning and it being brought up again by greg in one of the middle chapters) cuz A) i love my wife and B) it felt /too/ sad and angsty to the point of overkill (no pun intended)

oh. and gregory does actually like tony back, he wasn’t just saying it cuz wanting to escape and then him dying. just so we’re all aware. maybe not at that point as much as tony does (and not as much as he does in sunlight on your skin’s au continuation, cuz actually actively getting to be himself would help.), but it would’ve worked out if tony didn’t yk, kick the bucket. sorry if that makes his death worse.

[emcapi-gaming]

so

in relation to my previous extremely long post about how the Ards were, believe it or not, a total coincidence

i went through some old screenshots and I am LOSING MY SHIT

because I COMPLETELY FORGOT that she straight up COPIED HIS HAIRCUT briefly post-Heavensward.

Screenshot evidence below cut.

...You can tell these are legit screenshots because they were taken on the horrible potato laptop I played on until about halfway through Stormblood, which could juuuust barely hit 15 FPS if you stood somewhere with no people, completely still, on absolute minimum graphics and resolution settings.

Anyways.

Exhibit A: Aymeric date. Normal hair.

Exhibit B: first time meeting The Bestest Boy, who got a (rare, at the time) screenshot because I was having emotions.

Exhibit C: Jandelaine, the man, the myth, the legend. I think this was the first time I ever summoned him. He got a screenshot because, I assume, his dialogue was funny.

Exhibit D: Beginning of the Stormblood warrior questline, which got screenshots because Gay, demonstrating SHAMELESS HAIRDO THEFT. (also possibly the only time Ardwin ever voluntarily wore a skirt, for Tataru's sake.)

I changed back to original hairdo a little while after that. I can't remember what my exact rationale for the original hairstyle change was; I think it was a combination of thinking she should look a little more unkempt after all of Heavensward + Dragonsong, but also partly in honor of The Warrior Of Darkness, aka That One Douchebag With The Same Axe As Her - Oh No! He's So Sad! (It was clear to me that he was supposed to be kind of the alternate universe counterpart to the WoL, but I had no idea, of course, about the actual level of connection going on there.)

(also extremely funny that said warrior questline promptly demonstrated that trying to kill each other on the first date is perfectly normal warrior courtship behavior lmaooooo)

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on you WIP(s)

Whoaaaa thank you for the tags @shrekgogurt, @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, @monbons, @drowninginships, and @blackberrysummerblog! I'm pretty sure that's everyone! I love being tagged in shit.

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): So you just like... have names for them? Before you post them?

I will say that for once, a name did come to me, so one of them is tentatively titled Fettuccine and Foreplay, but I might change it because Foreplay is misleading. I'm sorry to say that it is not smutty, and the events are questionably even foreplay. But the alliteration. And Fettuccine and Flirting just doesn't have the same ring to it.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” God, why am I so bad at this?

Nevermore Academy + Penny = offensive assumptions, defensive students, and a magical breakthrough waiting to happen

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? uhhhhhh. I don't usually think about tags until I'm ready to post, so I am not prepared for this question... I can't really think of anything. Which makes me feel like my stories are hella boring.

Update after finishing and rediscovering an old wip: fluff! yay fluff.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? Alternative titles??? So not only do you have titles, you also have extras laying about????

I guess I already talked about it in #1, but Fettuccine and Flirting. I do not like it.

5. ⚠️Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next? Probably the Fettuccine one. It's a one-shot and a good portion done (almost ready for a beta, I think?). I like to write the whole story before I start posting, so the Wednesday x CO crossover is going to take a goooooood while. Idk how many chapters it is yet, I just know it's more than 3.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) I think my most interesting one is called Sundays With Gran. It's more of a drabble that I might work into a story at some point than it is an actual WIP though. But my actual WIPs have uninteresting names.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

It’s especially hard to believe in this reality when there’s a glow, a sparkle, a buzz around even the most mundane of sights when Simon is involved.

That's not even from a WIP I've already mentioned. I rediscovered this one while looking at document titles for this post!

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. I have one fic, the one from #7, where I originally wanted musings from each of the main 4, which each describing what's happening through focusing on a different sense or set of senses. Like Simon would be taste or touch, Penny would be sound, Baz would be sight, and Shep would be touch or smell. But that felt too restrictive. Senses are still a big part of it, of course, and there may still be strong affinities for one sense over another for each character, but they'll experience with the most appropriate sense for the moment.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I really want to write more CO x Heartstopper (which we're calling Snowstopper because we're so clever) fics, but I'm making good progress on these other two and I'm afraid I'll lose the momentum if I start on the next Snowstopper idea. So I'll leave that for Kat to start in the meantime.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? At the beginning of this post, 2. As of #7, 3!

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? So many! I think I need to rewrite much of what started the Wednesday x CO fic. The entire first two chapters don't feel quite in character for Penny.

And then most of this rediscovered fic, for now called Tiny Dots. (Hey look! A title!) Like I said before, it's character musings, and I'm not sure how to string them together in a way that feels cohesive.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

I feel like I procrastinated on this procrastination game for so long that everyone else has already done it! I'm sorry if you've already been tagged 100 times, and especially if you've already done it and I missed it, buuuuut: @onepintobean @martsonmars @facewithoutheart umm... if you haven't been tagged, but want to be tagged, consider yourself tagged (or tell me and I'll update this post with your tag and no one has to know).

[vammppyre]

WARNING VOLTRON SPOILERS also blurb of thoughts n shit on it <3 basically a public voltron-centered diary entry at this point bc i have nobody to talk to irl so buckle up!!

just finished voltron and i’m fucking SOBBING. i finally started rewatching it a few days ago (kickstarted by a single keith post) when i had watched a few seasons before but not finished; from my scrambled memories of it as i rewatched, i think i originally stopped around season 7 somewhere?

anyway i had gotten to the beginning of s8 earlier tonight but when i got on our beloved hell site for the first time in like ages i went n followed a bunch of voltron tags and got a eensy weensy spoiler (lances markings he gets from allura) and was like GOTTA GO WATCH BC HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

so i binged all of s8 since like midnight and spent half of the last ep SOBBING. and i am NOT a crier. like. thinking they were gonna permanently lose their reality turned on all the fucking waterworks. allura’s sacrifice?? more sobbing. then crying from relief and also sad (allura) when they actually got their reality back. and then

AND THEN

ALTEA IS BACK?? BUT ITS THEIR REALITY??

and like lance is pretty much living there now and like the way he changed so much AND HIS MARKINGS 😭😭😭 like i love klance don’t get me wrong but oh my fucking god. what happened with him and allura. SOBBING. he literally cared for her more than anything and i can’t fucking imagine the shit he went through trying to accept and move forward once she was gone.

the REAL kicker was getting those pics of them all growing up and moving on with their lives. like i’ve fallen in love with all these characters over the last few days and those 8 seasons. i know yall get the end-of-series effect like this bc like come on we all do but we neverrr get a montage like that, at least not in any of the other shows that i know and love.

like wdym pidge is growing up?? and allura’s gone, leaving lance without her while he follows in her footsteps and lives on her planet? and shiro settled down and got a husband???

literally we got like ten minutes max (i don’t wanna go back and look and cry harder) of the rest of the storyline all smushed together and it’s so much and im sobbing anyway

i love this show sm i can’t wait to fully dive into the fandom <3

[aftgficrec]

Anonymous asked: Do you have any recommendations for any new twinyard bonding fics, with or without Nicky. Or even any with Nicky and one twin?

NB: original ask here in new twinyards bonding post

We’ve got a trove of Nicky and the twins for you, including a WIP age reversal fic where college-aged Andrew and Aaron raise young Nicky. It is ‘Home’ by allfortheBoyds. -A

previous recs: Nicky & the twins

Nicky bonding with both or one twin here

Nicky’s relationship with the twins here

new canon compliant bonding: Aaron & Andrew & Nicky here

‘Travelers’ series Part 4 here

‘My brother under the sun’ here

‘Abject apathy,’ ‘Oh Brother Of Mine,’ ‘Atrophy,’ and ‘Promises Kept’ here 

‘Aaron Minyard Ficlets’ and ‘Frazzled Bird’ (completed) here

‘a working thing’ and ‘AFTG/TFC minifics…nicky's pills’ here

‘Step Up/Dance AU’ here

‘This is our beginning’ here

‘We're the giggle at a funeral’ here

‘This is After’ and ‘innocence died screaming’ here

‘Direct Lines to The Heart’ here

‘get what you give’ here 

‘Microsleep’ here

‘Odd Eye’ here

‘You know I don't care’ here

‘on the taste of home (let it go down easy)’ here

‘Paper Cut Hearts’ here 

‘I Found Love Where It Wasn’t Supposed to Be’ here

Nicky & Aaron

‘Aaron loses his shit’ here

‘Aaron figuring out that he’s asexual…’ here

‘Misunderstandings’ here

‘Wear it on your finger’ here

‘aaron minyard + memories of nicky’ here

‘skeletons in the water’ here

‘Five Times Aaron’s Soul Tried to Find a Home…’ here

Nicky & Andrew

Nicky and Andrew’s relationship here

‘maybe we could’ here

‘Something Good’ here

‘Enough’ here

‘The One Where Andrew Tries to Kill Nicky’ here

‘Affection can be shown in so many ways,’ ‘It's a Home,’ and ‘The World on Mute’ here 

‘I am not a library’ here

‘Truth Time’ here 

‘Nicky sees Andrew dance’ here

‘Treacherous’ and ‘Andrew Minyard...does not have a crush’ here

‘Mixed Tape,’ ‘Nicky goes to the bank,’ ‘before nicky goes back to germany,’ ‘Andrew kept Nicky close,’ and ‘Andrew appreciates Nicky’s selflessness’ here

‘Just closed eyes with nothing behind’ here

‘everything has changed’ here 

‘That One Time Andrew Made Nicky Glad…’ and ‘Nicky & Andrew prompt’ here

‘don't look away’ here 

‘hiding out at the winter formal’ here

‘white soap’ and ‘Bloom Where You're Planted’ here

‘losing battle’ and ‘married to my enemy’ series here

‘haven't got a clue’ and ‘Congrats on the sex’ here

‘The Morning AUs Chapter 25: Conversion Camp AU’ here

you may also like

‘Way Down We Go’ here

‘TFC High School AU’ series here

‘Take This Heart (Put Yourself In It)’ here

‘two peas (in a pandemonium)’ here

‘Foxes and Fruitcake’ here

‘I learned from my pain’ here 

‘Andrew seems to be developing separation anxiety’ here

‘another turning point…’ here

‘The Before and After’ here

Nicky & the twins

The Cousins series by onedayanauthor [Rated G/T/M, 22318 Words, 5 complete works, Updated April 2023]

Part 1: A Place of Your Own (G, 5098 Words) Nicky had only had custody of the twins for a week and a half, and he was already entirely exhausted and overwhelmed. 

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced drug use

Part 2: Food Anxieties (G, 2760 Words) Nicky takes Andrew and Aaron to get fast food right after they move into the Columbia house. Andrew has some lingering food anxiety due to previous foster families withholding food or being stingy with food.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced child neglect, tw: food insecurity

Part 3: Making Ends Meet (M, 3583 Words) Aaron asks Nicky how they were able to afford the Columbia house and is surprised by Nicky's answer.

Part 4: Actions Speak Louder (G, 8769 Words) Nicky gets the twins to agree to go to a Christmas festival, but will the twins actually show up?

Part 5: Bonding Moment 2.0 (T, 2108 Words) Turns out Nicky is actually RIPPED and Aaron is just finding out.

NB: Part 2 of this series focuses on Nicky & Andrew and parts 3 and 5 focus on Nicky & Aaron

Why do we break the ones already broken? by KweenKevin [Not Rated, 845 Words, Complete, 2018]

Part 5 of Does that make me crazy? 

A Nicky Hemmick character study.

tw: homophobia, tw: conversion therapy, tw: religious trauma

Better Weather by PluckyYoungMan [Not Rated, 24656 Words, Incomplete, Updated Oct 2022]

A series of oneshots based upon Tilda putting Aaron and Andrew in the foster system, but not ending up taking Aaron back. After her passing Nicky learns of their existence, and elects to take them in when they’re almost thirteen. Nicky is in way over his head with the twins varied and often conflicting issues. Ultimately this is a story about family, and about healing, but it is a long and often painful road along the way.

tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: body horror, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: homophobia, tw: religious trauma, tw: self harm, tw: manic episode, tw: disordered eating, tw: drugs, tw: alcohol, tw: violence

this is a big world by PoolToast22 [Rated G, 2212 Words, Complete, 2022]

the one where Andrew tells Aaron about his and Neil's relationship

i don't need this city (i could leave in a heartbeat) by crazy_stupid_potato [Rated T, 3285 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew has a bad time and decides to run away. But what he didn't think he'd discover is that: sometimes there are good police officers, and that Nicky fucking adores him.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Home by allfortheBoyds [Rated T, 14316 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2023]

Nicky is younger, his parents still suck and Aaron and Andrew make sure he has a home

tw: child abuse, tw: homophobia, tw: religious trauma, tw: conversion therapy, tw: confinement, tw: disordered eating, tw: bullying

Wherever you go, I‘ll be there beside you (‘Cause you are my brother) by allfortheBoyds [Rated G, 2031 Words, Complete, 2023]

Nicky becomes a father, the twins are there to support him

Little Secrets by nerdzeword [Rated T, 3696 Words, Complete, 2019]

Part 2 of Little Miracles series, part 1 here

Nicky had spent his entire life hiding who he was. You would think it would be easier to finally tell people.

Heimkehr means Homecoming series by This_Witch_Writes [Rated T/M, Collection with 3 complete works, Updated Dec 2022, Locked]

Part 3 here 

Part 1: But Cass, she could've been [T, 31241 Words] Cass discovers Drake's true nature with the next foster child she takes in, a year after Andrew was adopted by Tilda Minyard. Disgusted and heart-broken, Cass travels to South Carolina.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: vomit, tw: violence, tw: homophobia, tw: assault

Part 2: A little closer to home [M, 48508 Words] Cass came back for Andrew after Nicky took custody of him and Aaron once she learned to truth about Drake. She settled in Columbia to be close to them and 18 months later the family has reached some kind of balance. And then Kevin Day shows up at the Foxes hotel room after the Winter Exy Banquet with a ruined hand and a wild story. No hope of a quiet year really.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: torture, tw: blood/gore, tw: homophobia, tw: assault, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nonconsensual drug use

Some would sing and some would scream by Helpneedmorefanfics [Rated E, 14168 Words, Complete, 2021]

"Alright. Luther got out of prison, along with everyone else involved in Andrew's previous cases," Nicky says and Kevin sucks in a sharp breath and grabs at the other's arm, horrified. Nicky nods gravely, eyes serious and steady. "I'm going to go kill them all."

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: murder, tw: arson

A first by LetThemCuddle [Rated G, 3930 Words, Complete, 2023]

Nicky comes down with a mild flu. It's not a big deal. The twins are suffering from unwanted emotions.

All I want for Christmas (is some peace) by sapphosgaycousin [Not Rated, 2214 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2022]

Nicky just wanted to have a cozy christmas, but there is no such thing when you're parenting your cousins.

The Highs and Lows of Pre-med Majors by Harmonique [Rated G, 4575 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 4 of AFTG whump, part 2 here

Sometimes, Aaron was questioning himself on the stupidity of his decision about being a premed student and an athlete. He couldn’t remember the last time he had more than four hours of sleep, and he still was behind classes. Thankfully, he wasn't a student-athlete... wait

tw: vomit

Nicky & Aaron

The Foxes: Finals Edition by LetThemCuddle [Rated G, 1747 Words, Complete, 2022]

Nicky and Aaron make a deal. Aaron will nap when Nicky demands it, and Nicky promises to wake Aaron up at the exact time he wants.

Aaron & Nicky hcs by @foxes-evermore [Tumblr, 2016]

Nicky & Andrew

I'm Proud of You by kevindaysleftpinkytoe [Not Rated, 1860 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew is tired tonight.

tw: self harm, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: negative self image, tw: depression, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: panic attacks

Andrew thinks he is unlovable hc by @knox-knocks [Tumblr, 2021]

Andrew, Nicky, and hugs meta by @i-did [Tumblr, 2021]

Nicky meta by @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2021]

Not a sociopath by @i-want-delfeur [Tumblr Fic, 2018]

I have about 4,000 questions about Nicky and Andrew’s relationship meta by @sirencalll [Tumblr, 2016]

Art

Happy Twinyard day art by @jegulus4life

Nicky’s instagram: Lake with ducks art by @/lis_photoart on instagram

Nicky as their best mum = a threat art by @/joonaxrt on instagram

[hebezunet]

also, since i am... 100% certain that the chip twitters aren't coming back, i wanna take a few minutes to talk about my experience as a mod for one of the characters (since i doubt it's any surprise that I was one lol)

firstly, i'm not revealing anybodys identities here other than my own, because everyone has fully moved on from the project and don't wanna be assocciated in any way with it anymore. i'm making this post mostly for myself and maybe 2 other people so even if you have inklings of who the other mods are, don't look for them. they will not be happy

with that out of the way-

if it wasn't supremely god damn obvious by this point, i was the most recent mod for bert. from like... what, may 2020? that whole big arc where he got out of the bertputer, that's when i started. definitely a lot of weight on my shoulders with that one.

despite how much i had fun writing for bert though... this whole project was really a nightmare from beginning to end behind the scenes. before we (the new team) could even start actually posting and writing stuff, there was a whole kerfuffle getting the keys (account log in info) from the old team. had to even get david involved for a few things, which we really hated doing just cuz we didn't like bothering him. the old team was also... well, its own thing. i've kinda blocked out most of what happened regarding that but what i do know was that it was very mentally taxing trying to get rid of the old guys and get us logged into the new accounts.

people also certainly had... mixed feelings about the direction we tried to take things in. we were handed a story that was already extremely jacked up with its own weird baggage attached and had to make do with what we could. the story beats set up by the previous team were really hard to work with and we genuinely just did not agree with some of the characterization that was happening. namely bert and otto, they were... something. so, we tried our best to work with it and find justifications or explainations for certain behaviors and actions. i do know for a fact that there were people that did not like what we did with bert, especially. remember seeing stuff saying that we 'aged up' bert for the sole purpose of shipping him with rotten which... is not at all what happened. he was already a grown up character, in his late teens or early 20s, but the previous team had infantilized him to such a degree and for so long that that was just what people knew. we ended up justifying this by basically diagnosing bert with trauma induced age regression. it's a little complicated and a little fuzzy to recall, but that's the intention we were going with, at least.

we did originally have bigger plans for these characters and their arcs and everything, but the team was losing interest and everything surrounding it was genuinely sending some of us into mental crisis. it made us all distance ourselves really far from the project and not wanting to touch chipspeech as a whole with a 10 ft pole. a lot of this stemmed from the sovereign station server too, it was fine like 80% of the time, but shit got weird in there. if you weren't in there then like, good. you've saved yourself the headache. but overall, pretty much everyone has moved on and is doing their own thing now. there's been a few mods that I don't talk to anymore due to other circumstances, but I'm still good friends with a handful of them. they're doing much better now, too.

long story short, the characters just... aren't gonna be coming back, as far as I can tell. it's been pretty obvious due to the 2+ years of radio silence, but just to put the nail in the coffin. i still believe that the twitters are a great springboard for your own interpretations, and that's kind of another reason why we stopped. these characters can honestly be whatever the hell you want them to be. making a rigid sort of canon to apply to them is a little silly, especially when it's a bunch of young adults roleplaying that canon on twitter dot com. do whatever you want. it was a fun enough ride while it lasted.

that being said though, i personally still hold chip near and dear to me. strong interest has definitely faded, but i still like making covers occasionally and drawing the guys and silly stuff like that. i have a lot of myself to thank for chipspeech, and that's not changing, despite the horrors that we faced. thanks for reading all this if you did lol.

and bert is best boy im DYING ON THIS HILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[roydeezed]

Dungeon Meshi Thoughts 03

I originally wanted to write something on Dungeon Meshi after reaching chapter 50 or even 45 but so much has happened so fast since my last post that I’m writing this after chapter 36. The last time I wrote about it, I had just finished chapter 28 and was dreading the metaphorical sword of Damocles that was hanging over their heads. I shouldn’t have, because it came crashing down the very next chapter. I’m writing an update to my thoughts now because it’s becoming clear what kind of manga Dungeon Meshi is going to be and the next chapter beyond this also feels like it will be a defining moment. I’m purposefully being vague as I don’t want to spoil anything so more detailed thoughts are below the “Keep reading”.

Okay, the shit hits the fan right away. I had no idea that after so much speculation that things were going to get bad that fast. And I’m glad y'all Dungeon Meshi fans who dm’d about the non-spoilery questions I had in the last post kept it under wraps. I appreciate it and can’t wait to actually talk about this when I’m all caught up. Okay so immediately, the Sorcerer attacks our group and takes back Falin. So here’s my read on the Sorcerer. First of all, while they are currently evil, they also seem to be a tragic figure. I assume that because their life trajectory seems to be as follows: born as a lower class peasant, noticed by the king, becomes the court magician or some such high position, and then in an effort to help out the kingdom (extreme reach of a guess) messes with time magic and freezes the kingdom in time while also going mad.

The king, as a ghoul or specter of the dungeon, finally escapes it to perform the scene at the beginning of the manga and the sorcerer, who has gone mad and used to be extremely devoted to the king, refuses to believe the king is dead. Hence why they were searching for the king. Okay, that’s my reach of a guess but I’ll be happy if any of that is true. 

I really love how the dragon was tied back to the Sorcerer, in a way it cements them as the antagonist from the get. And I mainly think their struggle that led them to turn evil has to do with losing their own morality and sanity because that is exactly what is happening with our heroes. Slowly, one by one, they’re all becoming desensitized and accepting of things they never would. Senshi lets Laios heal him with magic without any complaints in regards to the magic, Chilchuck protests less and less against dark magic as time goes on, and Marcille becomes the first to dawn the frog skin. Marcille and Chichuck also barely protest against the dryad pumpkins before giving in. Laios… … … nope, nothing to say about him, this man happily leaps across boundaries. But to get back to the point of desensitization, in a way it’s a very jaded way of looking at coming of age stories and growing up. Our heroes journey mirrors media like Made In Abyss and Zombie stories where the journey itself takes from them, not just physically but emotionally and morally as well. They have to abandon their boundaries and morals at every step of the way. But the way that this doesn’t devolve into a 100% depress sesh is that they point to the other joys of the journey.

And that’s the discovery and the companionship. There’s something very primally enjoyable about the concept of sitting around a fire, cooking and eating and knowing that next time you do it will be far away. Am I very unsubtly trying to suggest adventure stories play to our primal instincts of being nomadic hunters like our ancestors? Yes. And in this context the sitting around the fire contrasts very heavily with the moments they’re not. And that’s something I’ve noticed. The contrasts. This manga is so beautiful and intelligent in so many ways but the thing that has me losing my mind this post is the way the authour creates a benchmark, a static, and then uses other characters and moments to contrast and contextualize not just the characters but also the world. 

As I said in the previous post, this world seems to be different from ours in the way that existing and living in it requires a sense of detachment. But it was quite unclear to me at that point what exactly that meant. But by the introduction of Kabru as a fully fleshed out and thinking character that has an even more detached view of the world, we understand it and our heroes, especially Laios, a lot more. Now that I have some in world context, especially an outsider’s view, it seems our heroes, while they didn’t seem like it, are very much an ideal adventuring party. To start off with, the most out of left field is Senshi, and even then he’s a pretty tried and true adventuring trope of guide well versed with the area that decides to join them. Then we have Chilchuck, who is an extremely skilled thief/rogue that has a high position in the local (thieve’s?) guild. And Marcille and Laios really seal the deal for our party as the chosen ones as Marcille is the most skilled graduate of the magic school who also knows forbidden tricks and Laiso is an extremely skilled and noble knight. They kind of are the chosen ones despite their bumbling natures. 

And seeing them as the paragons sheds a light on everything else. In this world charity is looked down upon as Kabru finds Laios suspicious because of that.

The simple aspect of charity being a suspicious act contextualizes this world so much.

And also makes me very interested in Kabru as a character. Maybe I’m wrong but Kabru feels very much like a formidable antagonist. He freezes up against monsters but is really good at killing humans, knowing to aim for carotid arteries and such. This not only brings forth the possibility of Kabru as a potential murderer/evil serial killer, but it also contextualizes Laios as noble as he’s only skilled against monsters. In another instance, Laios mentions how they’re friends with orcs and kabru’s first thought is about killing them, highlighting quite well Laios’s boundary as he sees them more as sentient beings than some of his peers do. The way that Laios thinks about monsters is the way Kabru thinks about humans, painting him as a clear foil to Laios. 

But beyond just being a mirror to Laios, Kabru is very interesting. At the heart of it, it does seem like he’s noble but the way he thinks makes me feel like he’s one good push from falling into either good or evil. The way he thought about Laios and Falin giving gold to their injured comrades still sticks with me. He believes that because they are careless with their power and don’t look after things beyond their goals, they are evil. He thinks only his way of thinking is good and any other methods are evil. Simply having different priorities is evil. That’s highlighted by the fact that his party is quick to agree with him and offers little resistance, unlike Laios’s where he was just asked by Chilchuck to head back. I wonder if he will become the final antagonist after the sorcerer, like the scouring of the Shire by Saruman after the defeat of Sauron  in the Lord of the Rings. With how reverent it is towards fantasy tropes, it certainly is possible. Kabru feels dangerous to me. 

And that also brings us to the other big personalities we’ve passed. Namari and Shuro. We learn about Namari’s backstory and it seems like her motivation has something to do with respect as not only was it very clearly brought up that she couldn’t join back up with Laios because of the hit her reputation would take but that she already has a negative reputation because of her father. Namari also feels very practical but I don’t think she is too concerned about getting her own way in a party. So if Falin and Namari were not the voices of reason in the party then who was? I think it might be Shuro. Again I want to bring up one of the themes of stories like this, and that’s that you either have to abandon your morals or die. And Shuro seems to not want to abandon his morals.And because of this whole honorbound love, it’s driven him to exhaustion. But he also seems strong willed enough that he might have been the voice of reason with their group, alongside Marcille. Without him Laios just overrides her easily. But Shuro’s objections probably always come from decorum and morality as opposed to common sense like with Marcille. 

Okay, those were most of the scattered thoughts that I wanted to deal with first, with a lot of thoughts on characterization. Now I want to go over roughly what has happened over the last few chapters and talk about a few things. Right from the get, things once again go wrong for Falin. And right after she’s rescued too. As Marcille later explains she basically recoded Falin so her body became a part of the dungeon. And because of that and fusing with the Red Dragon, it can explain why the Sorcerer was able to find and control her so easily. It also makes me wonder if the thing that’s been changing the shape of the dungeon isn’t so much the Sorcerer but Falin in a desperate bid to save her friends with what little is left of her soul.

Then the sorcerer turns her bottom half into something we later find out resembles a big type of bird thing. Anyways, our heroes fight the Sorcerer and we see a lot of desperation and what kind of toll the dark magic is taking on Marcille as she giggles maniacally while fighting back against the Sorcerer.

They eventually escape but almost all throughout the fight we see these spirits surrounding them and pulling at them. I think the Sorcerer loved the King so much that they massacred all of the subjects and thus that’s why all of them ghouls and spirits try to stop them. And freezing the place in time would also be consistent with this worshiping attitude, the way that the dungeon was underground for a 1000 years and the madness of the Sorcerer.

They narrowly escape and after comparing notes realize they came up against the final boss way too soon. So Chilchuck asks to go back to the surface so that they can get prepared. Once again, the authour demonstrates exceptional control over the characters and the story as this gives us such a deep insight into Chilchuck as well as progressing his character development. Chilchuck has always been somewhat cowardly, at times even comparable with Ussop from One Piece. But here we see a growth of that cowardice. It’s still a key character trait but it’s taken on a very noble light as that worry isn’t about himself but rather his group. It shows how he’s come to care for them and how just like Laios was burdened with their lives so was Chilchuk.

It’s a really sweet moment and shows how character traits are stretched to their limit while being given respectable undertones. Chilchuck’s concern for his friends disguised as outright cowardice mirrors Laios distracting himself with food and adventure to help him cope with his worry for Falin and his companions. 

Okay, one little side note before we move on, just a little fun world building tidbit I want to mention. So Chilchuk is 29 but Senshi treats him like a child, but the halfling in Kabru’s party calls him a geezer, so does that mean 29 is old or like midlife for halflings? If so, I love the world building, it would be incredibly realistic for different races to have different lifespans as even on earth there’s a drastic difference in the amount of time dogs and cats live compared to humans compared to tortoises and whales.

Senshi is also insanely relatable as he’s very much a do-er and a carer. He wants to support these new friends that he’s made but the only way he knows how is to cook so he hyperfixates on them.

Honestly each and every one of our main characters gets intensely relatable sometimes. What does it day about me that I relate to these dorks? Nothing flattering I’m sure. 

We soon move on to Kabru’s party after some shenanigans with some dryad’s with our party, with Chilchuck, a grown ass halfling man, getting “The Talk”(Plant Edition).

Here we get more insight into Kabru’s party who at this point seem a lot like yes-men. We get insight into Kobolds, who in this world are dog-like creatures with low intelligence. Also if Kabru has been around since Laios first got his start, does he really have a right to be so critical of him? Laios is leaps and bounds more capable than him, what’s Kabru been doing so far?

Through Kabru’s group we learn a lot about our heroes and then jump back to them.

Here in their discussions, as Marccille is teaching Laios and Laios is fondling Senshi, Chilchuk brings up a very good point.

And that’s the fact that Laios needs to become a better leader. Being brought up so frankly shows the trust Chilchuck has in Laios but the fact that it’s being brought up at all is a valid concern. We also learn of Halfling’s history with elves and hear talk of an alternate dimension where magic is drawn from. As so far almost nothing has been said unnecessarily, I think this could be a very important clue towards the secrets of the dungeon.

It’s here where we get the spirits talking to Laios again and it seems like the spirits of the citizens of the kingdom are in some sort of stasis, perhaps between here and the alternate dimension and are in extreme pain. 

I fell in love with Laios last time and this time it’s this dork. Just look at her.

She takes so many L’s.

I love her. She distracts a Cokatrice and ends up petrified and used as a pickling press before returning to normal. The groups led by Laios, Shuro, and Kabru all converge and the revelation about dark magic being used occurs. There was a promise of things coming to a head as Falin also looks out over the group so I stopped to write this. Some final thoughts before I finish up here. First of all, I think Kabru has the potential to be evil, but in the future.

From the way he thinks I think he’ll try to pacify Shuro as it seems like Kubru's always wanting to maximize the situations he’s in and he doesn’t want to get hurt in the crossfire. For Shuro I think if he doesn’t attack Laios, then it begins his descent into the same depths as this is the dungeon stripping away at his morals as it’s done with everyone else. The only thing I can feel for Falin is pity, the poor girl has been through enough, she doesn’t deserve to get Nina’d. Someone save her!

All in all though, these last few chapters, even though they were quite dark, further the theme of companionship as being the antidote to spiritual and emotional exhaustion. All through very literal ways of course but it only emphasizes the point. Our heroes have fallen time and time again these past few chapters and it’s only through picking each other up, listening to each other and eating around the same pot do they recover from their scars. See ya’ll again after a few more big story events!

[emily-ispirata]

Ok I’m not saying S3 is the best season by any means because we all know it’s got some Issues, but I do really love how Cleo’s character development in it.

I actually don’t think that she’s acting unlike herself for most of the season. Cleo’s been through a lot over the years, especially in season 2- her mom leaves, she has a major breakup, and then one of her best friends moves away. It makes sense that she’s not as innocent by the end of the series as she was at the beginning of season 1, especially if you consider that she goes from being 15 to being around 18 by the time the series ends. With her mom leaving, she’s forced to step up at home, and especially how her mermaid powers go sort of off the rails in the first episode of S2, I think it makes sense that she’s irritable and jealous and not always her best self that year. That’s a lot to be dealing with for a teenager! There’s absolutely times when she goes too far, especially with how she treats Charlotte. But it’s also unfair how the narrative punishes the girls (especially Charlotte, again, but this post is about Cleo lol) for basically being teenagers with a ton of responsibility and other stuff just sitting on their shoulders.

By the time we hit S3, it feels like Cleo has sort of hit her stride with dealing with her mom being gone. She feels more grounded and in a way that feels sort of like a natural continuation of her development in S1- becoming more self-confident, less naive, etc. I don’t think people give Cleo enough credit for being smart, even before S3. Sure, she’s sort of innocent and sheltered, but she also mentions being in calculus in like the third episode, and it’s clear that she and Lewis have been study partners for a long time, and they might not have developed that habit if they weren’t in at least most of the same classes. She doesn’t seem to ever really struggle academically until S2 when her breakup with Lewis sort of suddenly forces her to change her study method. The way that Don reacts to her failing an exam makes it seem like that’s very out of character for her (although is also a little bit of Don Sertori overreaction...) In any case, her having at least some history of doing decently in school means that her increased academic success in the last year isn’t completely out of left field.

As an aside, it’s also great to see her and Lewis just sort of, existing as a couple? For a whole half of a season? Which is not something that we get to see a lot of in the previous seasons. Most of their development centers around them getting together, breaking up, and getting together again, which is entertaining, but I love seeing how they interact as a couple who aren’t just focused on the will they/won’t they aspect of their relationship. In the first half of S3, you can see how the two of them work together trying to solve the mystery of the tentacle. It’s Cleo who’s determined to find the answer when they’re attacked, and it’s her who comes up with an idea to help Lewis find an alternative science project when she inadvertently messes his original idea up. Then, when Lewis has to leave mid-season, she’s matured enough to be willing to step up and do the work by herself. It’s unfortunate that it feels like Lewis has to leave for her to realize her full potential, but I like to think that if he’d stayed she’d have developed the same anyway, especially with how invested she was in figuring out the water tentacle in the first few episodes.

I don’t feel like she loses herself this season- she still feels like a mediating force who just wants people to get along, but she’s not afraid to call others on their shit when they’re acting out of turn, like Zane (S2 Zane would never, but again, we’re talking about Cleo...)

I might be sort of biased, because I relate a lot to her development this season- I too am someone who for years was perfectly decent at math/science but preferred the humanities and liked to make fun of my friends for being science nerds, but my last year of high school took some advanced science courses, ended up being a STEM major in undergrad and now has a graduate degree. And I also relate a lot to her struggles with stepping up into the “leader” role- it’s something that I struggled a lot with in high school as someone who was sort of the quiet one, but as I got older, I got a lot more self-confident and now fall more into the same “well if no one else is going to step up, I guess I’ll fucking do it” category. In any case, I don’t see her development in season 3 as being a completely different person, just as someone who’s grown up and through a lot of difficult scenarios over three years fully maturing and coming into her own.

[syntaxvomit]

I ruined it. We were doing so well and I ruined it.

Now I'm laying awake trying to ignore my sick stomach because it's all just so much to digest. I got a job offer today. I've been desperately looking for a job like this for about 9 months. Haven't been unemployed thank god but I've been contract hopping without benefits for 9 months. I'm not sure how much to reveal or how to begin without giving away who I am.

Who am I trying to hide from? Myself I guess.

I've been trying to be better and I've been trying to do more but it all felt like it was all for nothing today and I ended up tying other completely unrelated shit to it because I was upset and I wasn't in my right mind. As I type this out I'm feeling better though I guess that's the whole fucking point of this thing.

I feel unloved, empty, and broken. I'm trying to ignore that feeling by staying busy but it all came to a head today. I know this is definitely all in my head because when I stop and think about it, it's absolutely ridiculous. Every single day I'm shown how much I'm loved and I haven't been observant enough to appreciate it lately. That's on me.

At the same time, I haven't been intimate in months and this has been happening frequently, even before the reveal.

Valentine's day is coming up. I commissioned an original painting from an online friend who I never met IRL. We've been FB friends for years, almost a decade now. She seems like she's a nice lady with a good head on her shoulders. She's incredibly talented, her handle on insta handle is @kara_rae_art -- you should look up her stuff. It's really good.

I commissioned a painting for my girl for Valentine's Day and I'm really excited to see how it turns out. I've never commissioned a painting before, I feel so adult!

Okay I'm starting to fade now. I want to continue to try to end this entry on a good note because there's a lot to celebrate.

Since the new year, I've been going to the gym and it's long overdue. I've been feeling better, and that's all I really care about. I don't care about how I look or how big I am, I only care about feeling good and getting enough rest and enough water. I want to keep the momentum going for as long as possible.

Also, the job! It's full time with benefits and fully remote. I haven't had something like this in a while and it's exactly what I've been looking for. I just hope the team isn't as terrible as my last full time job. But, I have more experience now, and I am much more confident in my field than I was when I got my first full time role. It's salaried too, which means I'll probably commission more art because our walls are bare and how awesome would it be to have our walls filled with original art?!

I don't post about my career or my job or anything because I like to play it safe. I'm actually making a decent salary now and I feel I have something to lose. I fear I would get doxxed, that's why my real name isn't on my FB. I could just not post inflammatory things, but where's the fun in that? I like to instigate and argue. Healthily ( I think)

Alright I'm fading out now. Word vomit complete.

[triflesandparsnips]

stede bonnet is weird about touch

The beginning of a four-part journey of overwhelming nonsense, featuring more research than was strictly necessary. But fuck it, here we go.

Figure 1. Local man commits to least possible physical interaction imaginable with new fiancee.

Because it was driving me bananas that I was picking up on this thing that very few others seemed to notice, and also because I am desperate for a particular brand of hurt/comfort Stede-fic in this fandom:

I watched the entire series again and made up a bunch of charts detailing all the ways Stede is touched, touches others, and the degree of "closeness" of those touches.

You can find the finished product here -- first page is an overview, and remaining pages are breakdowns of each episode, including notes. If I missed something, or you disagree with a classification, pop in a comment. (You can also see my progress and original notes here.)

Broadly, though:

Stede is both touch-starved and touch-sensitive. And you can see it on the screen.

Because there's so much here, this essay got ridiculously fucking long. As such, I've divided it into four parts -- links to each section will be at the bottom of each post, but I encourage people to engage with whatever part of it they want.

Why is this important, though? Why go to all this trouble?

I think this behavior tells so fucking much about Stede, and that understanding his relationship with touch is crucial to getting a more rounded idea of his character.

I'm this close to calling it criminal that we aren't more thoroughly acknowledging how much nuanced work Rhys Darby and his various scene partners put into this, holy shit.

I want to see this in fic, damn it.

And with that, finally:

✨~My evidence, let me show you it.~✨

-----

1. Stede wants to be touched, but is afraid of it.

Stede expects either violence or withdrawal from loved ones (or ones he's supposed to have a close relationship with, at any rate) if he's done something to displease them.

Nearly every memory of Stede's father involves this on some level: blood on Stede's face (and castigating him for his squeamishness), yanking Stede's arm, bending over and getting into his face specifically to yell at him, and not looking at Stede when Stede's essentially asking for comfort prior to his marriage.

Some of Stede's memories of Mary at the dinner table show her as angry and physically distant from him (regardless of whether that memory is an accurate one). This is repeated later in episode 10 when we see her and the children again on the opposite side of the table.

The anniversary gift scenes in episode 4 are particularly telling: When Stede gives Mary his gift, he starts by dropping to a kneel next to her, his arm up on the table near her -- and then Mary, over the course of realizing what he's done/doing, proceeds to retreat from him three times -- once a little ways, then again farther to the other side of the chair, and then finally leaving her chair entirely to face him. As Mary does that, Stede mirrors her retreat, a few beats behind and in reaction to her withdrawal, finally standing from his kneel, curling into himself, and losing his consistent eye contact with her.

Figure 2. Totally okay and not-at-all concerning body language in response to an upset life partner.

Ed reinforces this belief when he leaves the Revenge with Jack (immediately after Stede has actually expressed anger at someone he believes is Ed's friend).

Considering all this, when Ed almost immediately runs off to find a dinghy in episode 10, leaving Stede alone right after he's participated in an act that's transgressive on multiple counts (gay AND cheating on his wife, tsk tsk)... well. It may not be what Ed intended, but there's a bit of Stede's brain that thinks "Ed left; therefore I did something wrong."

Interestingly, this means that Stede will sometimes initiate the withdrawal if he perceives that someone's displeased with him.

This could be for a couple of reasons: if he does it first, it makes it a choice on his part rather than a rejection on theirs; likewise, if he does it first, then perhaps that might placate the other person (by removing his "wrongness" from their presence). Most likely it's some kind of inseparable combination of the two. We see how this maladaptive practice bears out with:

Mary presenting Stede his anniversary gift. At the start of the scene, he stands next to her, leaning in slightly, with his hands to either side; when he realizes he's insulted her, he doesn't step away but he does clasp his hands in front of himself, effectively removing the possibility that he might accidentally touch her skin (or she, his).

Stede leaving Mary and the children.

Stede offering Ed a nature walk. Ed demurs (using language that implies Stede's suggestion wouldn't be acceptable to various people) and Stede actually subtly leans away from him as his smile drops. You can see it below, particularly if you keep an eye on his relation to the rope in the background between them.

Figure 3. The subtle tragedy of a man whose best friend has just said that maybe his interests aren't actually that cool.

Almost as soon as Ed lets go of Stede's face following the beach kiss, there is a very slow distancing happening between the two of them.

Stede leaving Ed.

Finally, one of Stede's ways of withdrawing from someone else's "space" is by losing eye contact.

This is something he developed after childhood -- while in flashbacks we see that tiny Stede holds eye contact solidly with Father Bonnet (and only turns his head away when he's shocked by the goose's violent death), by the start of the series he's pretty awful with it (dropping his gaze when Olu shakes him; closing his eyes to hide from the Nigel "ghost"; eventually dropping his gaze when Mary yells at him about the model ship).

He improves over the course of the show and as he gains confidence, though it's easiest to tell in scenes of threat/violence where he would previously have dropped his gaze-- this includes his steady stare at Calico Jack when he orders him off the ship, his violent twist of Doug, and his anger at Mary after the murder attempt.

However, when he feels uncertainty, that trouble with eye contact comes back again... including, unfortunately when Ed asks him to run away to China.

Figure 4. Local baby gay in middle of sudden revelation as to own sexual orientation is faced with object of said revelation asking for a life-changing decision instead of just, like, double-checking the kissing thing some more

-----

ONWARDS:

-> Review the raw data and notes

-> Go to part 2: Stede will avoid touch to protect himself.

-> Go to part 3: Stede has found/developed "safe" ways to physically interact with people.

-> Go to part 4: The top three people who touch Stede, or who Stede touches, are Ed, Mary, and Izzy.

[facedock]

Face/Murdock in Cup a’ Joe, Part 1

I have so many thoughts about The A-Team episode 3.14, Cup a’ Joe, I’m just gonna ramble for a bit here because oh my god no one can convince me something didn’t happen between Face and Murdock in/around this episode.

(Was this intended by the writers? Almost certainly not. But I’m taking the canon and I’m molding it to my queer standards as is my right thank you VERY much.)

So, when we first see them, they’re standing close together and Face is looking at Murdock in a way that doesn’t have to mean anything but um I’m gay and I’m making them gay too so,, it’s gay because I said so.

It’s the subtle way his tongue moves behind his lips.

I’m taking that and running with it. I am going to be taking a lot of things from this episode and running with them, so buckle down. This is going to be a ridiculously long post but I have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about this episode and it’s about time I unleashed them.

So, next, and perhaps most notably, we have The Egg Thing.

I can’t even begin to talk about The Egg Thing because I’ll lose my goddamn mind. But I’m gonna try because, seriously, what was this?!??!?

Watch how Murdock consumes that goddamn egg.

I slowed down the gif so we can get a real good look at his facial expressions:

Sir, what in god’s name?? that little squint, the slightest smirk...

And NO context is given for this little moment. So, I’m making my own context thankyouverymuch.

This reads so strongly as an innuendo to me.

What I’m imagining (because of course I am) is that Face and Murdock got intimate for the first time recently, maybe the night before this episode occurs. I’m thinkin’ maybe Murdock sucked Face off or something, because of the way he puts the whole egg in his mouth like it’s some sort of display of his talents.

So, under that lens, they’re experiencing the thrill of a new development in their relationship. They’re giddy, they’ve got inside jokes, they’re subtly flirting with each other.

...And then it goes to shit. Something changes.

Watch how uncharacteristically cold Murdock is with Face when he asks him to switch jobs.

“Murdock, you wanna trade jobs?” “No, I wouldn’t, thank you.”

He’s practically glaring at him. Like, the audacity Face would have to ask him for a favor after the way he hurt him.

I originally wrote this off as a cute lil funny moment between them, but with the next bit I wanna talk about, this one takes on a deeper context.

I lied earlier when I said The Egg Thing was the most notable Face/Murdock part of the episode.

It’s actually The Paprika Thing.

Before we dive into that moment, though, here’s what I think happened between The Egg Thing and the “wanna trade jobs” scene:

Face, raised Catholic and living in the 1980s when it simply was not a fun time to be queer, suddenly panicked about the new development between him and Murdock.

Maybe it got too real for him. Maybe someone at the diner insinuated they were a couple, or they were getting stared at, or maybe Face just started panicking of his own accord because he’s an overthinker and he was imagining their Future and he realized he wasn’t ready for that.

So, he pulls Murdock aside at some point and tells him that what happened between them the other night can’t happen again. That it was a fluke, it was because it was so late or he was so lonely or whathaveyou, but he’s not like that!

Murdock is hurt by this because of course he would be.

So, he’s a little cold with him when he asks to trade jobs.

Murdock is usually pretty good about masking his feelings and just La La La’ing his worries away. But this must have been pretty fresh so he’s a lil snippy about it and honestly babygirl that is so valid. <3

Then... we have The Paprika Thing.

They’re in the kitchen alone, side by side, and Murdock’s explaining something about cooking. They seem to be getting along just fine again. They’re not gonna let this thing drive them apart.

Face looks a little out of it, though. Like he’s putting forth his best This Is Normal And I Am Fine, but underneath he’s still shaken and finding it hard to really pay attention.

Murdock on the other hand is back to his LOL No One Will Ever Know I’m Not Just A Whimsical Dude And That I Actually Have Really Deep Emotions Right Now, Look At Me I’m So Quirky And Carefree.

And then Face throws him off again.

And it’s... honestly if I could point to only ONE moment in the entire series and say “THIS is the strongest part of the canon that lends weight to Face/Murdock being a Thing”, it’d be this moment.

Face says, “You know, Murdock, you’d make somebody an excellent wife.”

And Murdock... god, I have honestly teared up multiple times over Murdock’s reaction to that line, because, oh my god, babygirl, I am so sorry Face was being so fucking careless with your feelings.

Look at his fucking face, the way his eyes dart around, the way he’s so clearly thrown off by that comment:

And then he quickly changes the subject. “Have you seen my paprika?”

“I need my paprika. ...I’m out of paprika.”

Look how Face is looking at him, now. Those wide eyes... he’s concerned. He knows he fucked up with that comment.

And Murdock is channeling all of his energy into this stupid goddamn Paprika Panic, now.

He’s not being subtle.

I mean, he literally starts hugging himself.

This is, like, the most obvious case of, “I can’t handle what just happened so I’m going to ignore it completely and launch into something else and put a disproportionate amount of emotion into it because I need to channel those feelings somewhere but I don’t want you to see how much that affected me.”

I don’t know what possessed Face to say that thing about Murdock being a good wife – my theory is he was still feeling insecure about his own sexuality and decided to take it out on Murdock.

And I think he regrets it. I think he 100% sees through Murdock’s feigned panic about his goddamn paprika, and Face doesn’t show it but I think he absolutely fucking knows that he triggered Murdock to react like that, and I think he starts to feel guilty about it (but acts like he’s just exasperated by Murdock’s antics because he doesn’t wanna show his emotions, either).

These two are having an emotional moment without actually talking about it.

Like, Murdock often goes on weird lil rants about things that don’t make sense. That’s a key aspect of his character.

But this hits different.

Look at these gifs without captions, without context, and you would never think he’s getting stressed out over a goddamn spice.

And finally Murdock snaps and sends Face away on a mission to get paprika.

He sends Face away because he can’t stand to be around him at that moment, because that shit hurted.

Face: “You want me to go out and ask B.A. for paprika?”

Murdock: “Remember that girl you had me call?”

Like, he looks angry in that gif. He’s scaring me a lil bit, not gonna lie.

And here’s what really just drives it all home:

That goddamn face.

Look at that face after the entirety of that conversation and tell me it’s because he’s worried about paprika. I dare you.

...This post is getting too long, so I’ll split it into two parts.

[transneonneko]

Things from Archie Sonic that I would love to see return in the Mainline Games and/or IDW Sonic!!

Recently, I decided to read some of the Archie Sonic Comic, from like issue 186ish up until the first MegaMan crossover and the reboot, mainly because there were some gaps in my knowledge of those stories. Mainly Issues 198 till 235, which I never got to read as a kid and, I have to say, there were a lot of really interesting concepts during Ian's run of comics before the reboot that I really loved. There was a lot of really interesting concepts I love after the reboot too. I wanna celebrate that. A lot of these concepts and story idea I feel really deserve another chance.

So I wanna make this list of stuff I wanna see return in either for stories in the Mainline Games or the IDW Sonic comics. Before we start, I do wanna add somethings. This post isn't meant to be shitting on IDW and being like "IDW would be better if they did this". I really love the IDW comics and universe. I also know that some of these concepts likely can't be done due SEGA Mandates and I'm not gonna include stuff like "Bring back the Freedom Fighters" because I feel asking to bring back characters isn't gonna be very productive, as much as I would like to see their return. Anyways, let's begin.

The Fate of the ARK

One thing that really inspired this list was this scene right her. We'll talk more about Silver's Future later but for now, let's focus on the ARK. I'm gonna assume anyone reading this knows the story of the ARK from SA2 and Shadow. Sadly, the ARK hasn't really been revisited in the main canon since Shadow, despite how iconic of a set piece it is. In the Archie Comics, we get a look at Silver's future and one of things that may have been the cause of how bad things are is the ARK crashed. Sadly, Archie got rebooted before the writers could go more into it but, from SA2, we know that the ARK was set to crash into the planet if all 7 Chaos Emeralds are placed into it, wiping out all life on the planet. This could be an excellent premise of another Silver adventure, whether it be in the comics or games, where Sonic, Silver and some friends have to stop someone from making the ARK crash into the planet.

Expanding the Eggman Empire/Egg Bosses

Something I've always found a bit lacking in the game canon is how the Eggman Empire itself has been presented. In the games, the Eggman Empire is usually just made up of Eggman, Metal Sonic, Orbot, Cubot, a bunch of robots and (recently) Infinite. It's not really an Empire if it's just one guy and a bunch of robots. The main goal is the conquer the world but we hardly see Eggman actually see what happens when Eggman conquers a place, like what happens to the people who used to live there, besides like Colours and Forces, where the Wisps and Mobians are usually just seen being imprisoned. The Egg Bosses are the perfect solution to this and adds so much to Sonic's World.

The Egg Bosses are Mobians who, either willingly or unwillingly, aligned themselves up with Eggman for whatever reason, becoming commanders of the Eggman Empire. This usually comes about when Eggman has taken over a part of the region and the people living in that region have no choice but to join the Eggman Empire, for their own safety. Not only does this make the Eggman Empire feel more than just one person but it also makes Eggman more a villain himself. It able to portray Eggman as someone to be feared and, I mean, this is a dictator and genocider who is pretty much declaring war against the world.

It also brings up some interesting thoughts about the world. Characters like Maw, Thunderbolt and even Nephthys to a degree joined up with Eggman because they felt it was the right thing to do for the sake of the world, or in Nephthys case, to stop things getting worst later on, meanwhile characters like Grand Battle Kukku are plotting to usurp Eggman, with Clove and Beauregard only working for Eggman to protect family or close ones.

As I said before, having these Egg Bosses also makes Eggman look more threaten, both because he's able to look like a "bigger bad" next to these villains he has command of and, because almost all the Egg Bosses hate Eggman's guts, they are cyberized, a terrifying process in which those who work for Eggman are focus to have parts of their body replaced with cybernetics, with either bombs which will blow if they decide to leave or a locking mechanism that will paralyze their entire body, ready to be locked up.

If either in the game or the IDW comic, I would like to see the Egg Boss concept return. It doesn't even need to be the same characters or use the name "Egg Boss." It would help expand the army of the Eggman Empire, as well as provide some fun bosses for the games I think.

Mobians and Humans living together

This was always a weird hangup I felt the series had. In the case of games between Sonic Adventure & Unleashed, Sonic and friends were the only Mobians, humans made up the NPCs while Mobians were reserved for main characters. Then in Forces and IDW, Mobians made up the background characters, so then Eggman is the only human. I really prefer it when they have the two living together, it makes it seems more normal and, honestly, a better solution than the whole "Two Worlds" explanation.

Eggman Seemingly Defeated

Can I just that I love Issues 198-200? In these 3 issues, Sonic and friends Eggman's main base, the Egg Dome. This including fighting on the outside of the base, involving fighting hoards of the Dark Egg Legion soldiers and Eggman in the Egg Phoenix. After dealing with the outside, Sonic and friends raid the Egg Dome itself, taking different directions, with the Dark Egg Legion seemingly retreating, until they reach the center of the base, where they are blocked off by a barricade, which only Sonic can pass through, giving a "Point of No Return" vibe, Dark Egg Legion soldiers lining up and saluting Sonic. Then Sonic reaches the center and finds Eggman in the Egg Tarantula, starting their final battle which Sonic wins. This defeat is enough for Eggman to lose his sanity, seemingly ending the war Sonic and the Freedom Fighters have been fighting their entire life.

Of course Eggman returns but, god, it's just such a memorable couple of issues. There's a real sense of finality to it. I would a sequence like this in the games, something that feels like truly ending the Eggman Empire and defeating them once and for all. Of course, it wouldn't be the end, Sonic games are always needing to be made which would lead to...

The New Rulers of the Eggman Empire

In the comics after the defeat of Eggman, the Eggman Empire is taken over by some of it's Commanders, the Iron Queen and Iron King, who rules the Empire as their own until they are defeated and Eggman's return.

I love the idea that even if the Eggman, there will always be someone there to take his place. The games could do this by having Neo Metal or Infinite take his place. Hell, IDW did have Neo Metal take over but I think what made that less interesting was that Neo Metal wasn't doing it for himself, he was doing it for Eggman. I think this would work well if a concept like the Egg Boss was introduced in the games, maybe have one of the characters part of that group take over OR have a lot of the more ambitious Egg Bosses war against each other to take command, until eventually Eggman returns and puts them in line.

Silver's Future

Silver is one of the most recurring characters, who always joins the gang when his future is in trouble. The problem is that we never see his future besides 06. We have no idea what Silver's future is currently until it's in danger and, even then, we never see it.

We see Silver's Future in both continuities of the Archie Comic, with two different takes. Pre-SGW has a destroyed city vibe, like 06 but less lava. Post-SGW brought a whole new take where people are ruled by a corrupt council where people are put into class groups, and security robots will arrest if you are not at your job at the right time. They even re-contextualize Silver's bracelets as cuffs that the robots can activate. With Silver being my favourite character as a kid, I remember being obsessed with this new world and story, wanting to know more.

I'm not saying they would need to copy this world exactly but it would be nice if they gave us a concrete and consistence look for Silver's Future.

The Heroic Metal Sonic

Right before the SGW, we were introduce to Shard the Metal Sonic. His story is that he was the original Metal Sonic, the one that raced Sonic in Stardust Speedway. He appeared later in the comic, where Sonic made him realized there was more to life than just being Eggman's killing machine. He seemingly died, but was rebuilt to serve as a member the Secret Freedom Fighters.

This one would be tricky to be included. It worked in the Archie comic as they had been many Metal Sonics throughout the series, each one getting destroyed. Meanwhile, there's only officially been one Metal Sonic in the games made by Eggman (two if we count Classic and Modern). Admittedly, Gemerl fits Shard's personality and does need to be used more in the games but having it be Metal Sonic is just a cooler concept.

I think a solution to this is that we have Metal Sonic 1.0 made by Eggman and, in Rivals 2, we have Metal Sonic 3.0 by Eggman Nega from the future. But what about Metal Sonic 2.0? I think we could have a game where after Metal Sonic fails, Eggman builds a replacement, being 2.0, which would give reason to Metal Sonic wanting to revolt, which could lead to a redemption? While I am loving the IDW comics, I do really miss a lot of what both Archie continuities offered. I haven't mention the some other concepts and stories I liked that really focused on certain characters such as Naugus, Geoffrey St. John, Dimitri etc. Maybe I'll talk about that another day...

[iamnmbr3]

Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)