#cant fall asleep

[notquitehuman-creations]

"exhausted but not tired" is the worse feeling ever and I hate it

[little-pup-prince]

selfcare unit

[tkbrokkoli]

x-x

[syntaxvomit]

I ruined it. We were doing so well and I ruined it.

Now I'm laying awake trying to ignore my sick stomach because it's all just so much to digest. I got a job offer today. I've been desperately looking for a job like this for about 9 months. Haven't been unemployed thank god but I've been contract hopping without benefits for 9 months. I'm not sure how much to reveal or how to begin without giving away who I am.

Who am I trying to hide from? Myself I guess.

I've been trying to be better and I've been trying to do more but it all felt like it was all for nothing today and I ended up tying other completely unrelated shit to it because I was upset and I wasn't in my right mind. As I type this out I'm feeling better though I guess that's the whole fucking point of this thing.

I feel unloved, empty, and broken. I'm trying to ignore that feeling by staying busy but it all came to a head today. I know this is definitely all in my head because when I stop and think about it, it's absolutely ridiculous. Every single day I'm shown how much I'm loved and I haven't been observant enough to appreciate it lately. That's on me.

At the same time, I haven't been intimate in months and this has been happening frequently, even before the reveal.

Valentine's day is coming up. I commissioned an original painting from an online friend who I never met IRL. We've been FB friends for years, almost a decade now. She seems like she's a nice lady with a good head on her shoulders. She's incredibly talented, her handle on insta handle is @kara_rae_art -- you should look up her stuff. It's really good.

I commissioned a painting for my girl for Valentine's Day and I'm really excited to see how it turns out. I've never commissioned a painting before, I feel so adult!

Okay I'm starting to fade now. I want to continue to try to end this entry on a good note because there's a lot to celebrate.

Since the new year, I've been going to the gym and it's long overdue. I've been feeling better, and that's all I really care about. I don't care about how I look or how big I am, I only care about feeling good and getting enough rest and enough water. I want to keep the momentum going for as long as possible.

Also, the job! It's full time with benefits and fully remote. I haven't had something like this in a while and it's exactly what I've been looking for. I just hope the team isn't as terrible as my last full time job. But, I have more experience now, and I am much more confident in my field than I was when I got my first full time role. It's salaried too, which means I'll probably commission more art because our walls are bare and how awesome would it be to have our walls filled with original art?!

I don't post about my career or my job or anything because I like to play it safe. I'm actually making a decent salary now and I feel I have something to lose. I fear I would get doxxed, that's why my real name isn't on my FB. I could just not post inflammatory things, but where's the fun in that? I like to instigate and argue. Healthily ( I think)

Alright I'm fading out now. Word vomit complete.

[twosomeofcuteness]

My nerve pain meds make me so sleepy. I've been awake for 13 hours, and I'm literally falling asleep in my desk chair

[solifelessblog]

Darius being overprotective when Hunter is being overworked at the castle

Please reblog, don’t repost :)

[bunabi]

there's a line between encouraging people to keep an open mind about DAV and pretending the layoffs don't matter & the grim internal reports regarding DAI's production didn't happen and I need 'True Fans' to find it quickly

[stormte]

They’re playing minecraft

[logosbot-tm]

New information has been released.

The information below is old, and I'd suggest checking out the link above first.

^Regarding whatever is going on w Iskall.

Let's all just back down, stop speculating, and don't ask questions to the Hermits. We might get to know more in the future, or we might not. They don't owe us any more information in reality.

Doc has said that he can't talk about it, and based on Mumbo's tweet and the og tweet, I'd assume that the Hermits can't currently speak about the situation.

So don't ask them anything. Have patience instead.

Here's a list of what we do know:

No minors involved

There were complaints about Iskall

Iskall resigned

Out of respect for the privacy of the people involved, they're not going to say more

Don't speculate. It just makes all the information that we do have less clear.

Also, don't go, "I was never a fan of Iskall either way."

People are allowed to be upset. You're not better or more morally good because you never enjoyed his content.

Also, reminder: We don't know the Hermits personally. We don't really know their views on things. We don't know them. YouTube is their job.

Saying that you "always got a weird vibe" is honestly a p weird thing to do. That's based on nothing, and we still don't actually know what happened.

So, stop speculating. Try to keep track of what the actual information is.

If this whole thing upsets you, try to find other things to do in the meantime.

[ashankavinda]

 fail a sleep

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

lethanfield sleeping arrangements .....

[wtfforged]

redraw again i couldnt help myself this one was so cute

[shiraoyagi]

hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

[lover-of-mine]

"Buck is attached to this symbolism of couches being related to relationships, and that's not something that's actually going away anytime soon."

[ratmonky]

Business Strategy

warnings: manipulation

word count: 1k

ao3 link

Some people needed attention, some people needed love and Gods needed to be worshipped. 

"You have been trending on almost every visual media and as a podcast topic. How does it feel to be worshipped by everyone?"

Everyone but you.

You look down at him as you sit on your desk with your legs crossed, an unnoticeable smile on your lips. The tip of his cock is glistening with precum that drips on the polished floor. He is impatiently rubbing himself while staring up at you, eyes like a puppy's, begging for you to continue.

"Good work today, John," you praise him, your smile getting wider as his hand around his hand gets faster. "If you manage to spend a single day without any casualties I might even pat your head and rest it on my lap."

He nods with his eyes wide, staring at your bottom as his mouth opens. You don’t scold or comment on him for using his X-ray vision. He has been working hard lately to make you so proud. Precious John. He wakes up every day to make his pretty boss happy and sits by her desk like an obedient dog, waiting to be rewarded.

His gloved hand moves hastily around his cock, it makes a squeaky sound with each stroke. It brings you out of your thoughts.

You continue to smile, watching him pathetically jerk off on another work day after giving his report of the day. You wonder what he is thinking about right now. A scenario where he sucks on your tits while he has his head on your lap and lets you jerk him off? Or getting fed up with your strange power over him and bending you over the desk right now? He would rip your tights and pull up your skirt, humping you aimlessly until his cock finally slid inside. Wouldn't that feel good? You wonder if he had it in him to even pull something risky like that but he would never risk upsetting you. 

Good little John. 

Begging to be yours.

You decide you want to reward him after the intense feeling of heat building inside your core, making your legs tremble and pussy leak. 

"I'll let you do whatever," you say softly, lifting his chin with the front part of your heels. His eyes are on you, clouded from lust. "Just tell me what you want, John." 

There is a smile on his face. "I want to eat your pussy," he says after clearing his throat. Nonetheless, his tone is pathetic and desperate, he cannot hide the excited expression on his face like he has been waiting for this moment all his life.

With grace, you spread your legs and let him rip your tights in the middle. He pulls you closer to the edge of the desk and slides your panties to the side. He doesn't bother lifting your skirt and shoves his face in your crotch while proceeding to pump his cock.

The feeling of his hot and wet tongue against your folds feels heavenly after a long day of work. You tilt your head up and close your eyes to focus on how he moves his tongue. He kisses your pussy slowly, nose touching your clit. He slides his tongue inside you in an attempt to taste you and quickly decides against it to focus on pleasing you. His hand on your thigh squeezes the flesh and he tries to imagine how your ass would feel like on his cock when you finally would let him fuck you. He moves to your clit, lapping at your sweet spot and drawing tight circles that get smaller and smaller. 

You don’t want to admit it but it feels so good, you try to curl your toes but you don’t have enough space in your heels to do so, you let your legs rest on his shoulders. He keeps moving in a way that mimics fucking you and you find yourself imagining going against your own rule and letting him ravish you like he has been always dreaming about. 

As he gets close to his orgasm he loses the rhythm of his tongue and basically moves his head up and down as if he were nodding with his tongue rubbing wildly against your pussy. Your hands grip the desk harder and you let out a quiet moan. He laps at your cunt like a fucking dog and it just works. You feel the rush of an orgasm wash over you and your legs shake as he groans and cums with you. He groans and goes frigid for a second before letting himself sit on the floor to rest. 

There is a short moment before you jump down from the desk to fix your clothing and he follows your lead and gets up to fix himself as you return to your seat this time. 

"I expect another great day from you tomorrow, John," you say while starting to type on the keyboard of your laptop. 

"Yes, sure," he chuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Night," you correct him, his smile disappears as you inform him about tomorrow. "I'll be taking care of A-Train in the morning. Noir has a short meeting with me in the afternoon and well, Deep has been waiting for weeks to have a meeting, I'll take him in the evening."

He frowns, his eyes losing any sign of life in them.

You sigh and roll your eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow night at my house, hmm?" You watch another grin creep up on his face, "Don't get any ideas unless you plan to do something that'll raise our profits by 30%."

He grins all the same, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." Then he leaves unwillingly because he knows you're having a meeting with sponsors in an hour. 

The next day, you wake up to the news of Homelander selling his official Vought merch in front of the tower and giving interviews about his new show that will air only on Vought+.