#the only times ive been awake it's been to eat
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dyymi · 9 months ago
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what do you mean it's thursday evening. last time i was conscious it was fucking wednesday morning
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lixbf · 11 months ago
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insane that i was only awake to receive this phone call by pure chance but now i'll be entering the life of an employed person this year
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 year ago
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I fucked up my sleep schedule real bad y'all
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lovsome · 1 year ago
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big venting ahead :-{
#depression tw!!#sh tw!!#the last few days have been some of the hardest ive had in a long time#i feel like i always say this but it feels true every time tbh….#i feel like my brain is collapsing on itself…#just . very very bad thoughts and my head kinda going crazy and i guess partially acting on those thoughts#which is very very depressing tbh. i feel like im not gonna make it#ive been somewhat paralyzed these days. 80% of the time im awake i cant move. i have some moments when i can like get up and eat something#or something like that but other than that i spent all day yesterday sitting at my desk literally staring at the wall#because even moving a finger seemed like an impossible task to complete#and then last night i started spiraling and for the first time in a long time i could picture the worst possible thing i could do actually#happening#so i just cried. and cried. and i got in bed because that is the only place where i feel somewhat safe. from everything else but mostly#myself…#it doesnt help that no one cares#i was supposed to meet my friends to but#buy* stuff to cook for new years eve today but i texted them that i was having a crisis and i didnt think id be able go get up and go today#and it was implied and i also said that i was struggling but there was no response to that#there was barely any response at all#and this happened time and time again and when i tell my therapist shes always like#why dont u tell them? why dont u tell them that this behavior hurts u#and i just cant bring myself to do it. like i cant fathom hearing a close friend telling me that they’re struggling with depression and not#saying anything in response.#and i wonder maybe theres something about me where people just dont give a shit if i live or die basically#and i cant force someone to care about it thats why i dont say anything. but it sure as hell hurts#anyways.. i hooe today wont be as bad as yesterday
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woso-dreamzzz · 7 months ago
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Leaving IV
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: Alexia takes you on holiday
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The first time Alba and Alexia went on holiday with each other was when Alexia turned eighteen.
Suddenly, she had independence and some adult money to blow on frivolous things so she took Alba to Ibiza with her.
You got left at home because you were still very little and going to the beach and tanning was not something you enjoyed.
Instead, with both of your sisters in Ibiza, Mama took you to the beach near the house and you did fun things like building a sandcastle and eating your weight in ice cream.
Mama made a weekend of it and you were certain you had a much more fun time than Alba and Alexia did. You couldn't imagine laying in the sun and sleeping the day away with fruity drinks could be much fun or, at least when you were younger you couldn't imagine it being fun.
Now though, as a teenager that was also an athlete, you enjoyed you sleep. Naps were an important part of your routine. You came home from school and napped before getting up to go to your training. Then you would come home and nap until dinner.
It was good routine. You liked your routine.
You didn't like having it interrupted at three in the morning by Alba shaking you awake.
You blindly bat a hand at her. "Go away." You roll over onto your front and bury your head in the pillow. "Five more minutes."
"You'd already said that," She says," Come on, get up."
"No."
"If you don't get up now then Alexia will be up with a bucket of water. Then you'll have to get up and change your sheets. Come on, up!"
You groan loudly, muffled by your pillow before forcing yourself up.
The only reason you agreed to going on Alexia and Alba's sister holiday was because you thought you could relax. But, with Alexia in charge, you should have known that would never be the case.
She'd booked the flight for six forty-five leading to this three in the morning wake-up call so you dragged yourself out of your body and changed into some plane comfortable clothing.
It was barely an hour's flight from Barcelona to Mallorca so you've no idea why Alexia insisted on the stupidly early flight.
Either way, you drag your suitcase down the stairs and flip your hood up in an attempt to show your protest at the early morning wake-up call.
Alexia pulls it straight back down.
You flip it up again.
She pulls it down again.
You reach to put it up. Alexia's stern look stops you.
You kick her in the shin.
"You kick like a baby," She says, sticking her tongue out.
"I'm going to bite you."
"Ah," Alba says wistfully, throwing her arms around each of you," Just like old times!"
Alexia grins and ruffles your hair. You pretend to be annoyed.
You manage to have a small nap on her shoulder on the flight over and then get rudely awakened by her shaking you.
The villa is nice though and it's even nicer when you remember Alexia is paying for absolutely everything.
The house has a pool and a shady spot for naps and a big inflatable sword that you're going to use to smack Alba when she annoys you. It's near the beach and is only a ten-minute walk or so into town.
All in all, you're actually quite happy to be on this trip with your older sisters, even though Alba shoves past you to claim the room you wanted as her own.
The sun is nice and hot and you close your eyes for your midday nap as Alba floats around in the pool and Alexia paces around on the phone to her girlfriend.
It's nice and peaceful and sleep comes easy to you.
You don't know how long you've been sleeping by the time Alexia wakes you up by squirting cold sun cream onto your back.
You shriek, flinching away but her strong hands follow you and you can feel her rubbing it in.
"Ale," You whine," I don't need any."
"You do," She insists, working it more furiously into your skin," I got the strongest I can find."
"But then I won't tan!"
"Good. Tanning can cause skin cancer."
"You tan!"
"I don't have delicate baby skin," Alexia says and you turn your head back to look at her in disbelief," Skin cancer is scared of me."
From the sunbed next to you, Alba scoffs. Her face is covered in sun cream that hasn't been rubbed in yet. Clearly, she was Alexia's first victim.
"I don't have delicate baby skin!" You insist.
"Yes, you do." Alexia bats your arms away. "Mama made me promise to make sure you two wore your sun cream which means no tanning oil and no fighting me on it! I'm the oldest. I'm in charge!"
"You can't be in charge of me," Alba says," I'm an adult."
Alexia thinks for a moment before nodding. She prods you in the pack. "You're a baby so I'm in charge of you."
You groan. "This is so unfair!"
"Life's unfair," Alexia says impassively," Now, stay still. I might have missed a spot."
You're pretty sure she dumped the whole bottle on you.
Alexia's a hoverer. She always has been and she always will be.
Her arm is slung around your shoulders as you make your way down the street to find some food. She's insisted on getting you a big floppy hat to protect your face even though she's completely drowned it in sun cream.
"I'm kind of craving seafood," Alba says," Seafood and pasta."
You nod. "I want pasta too."
Alexia nods along. "Pasta sounds good."
"I want dessert as well," You continue.
"That's such a good idea!" Alba agrees quickly," I could kill for some warm cookie dough right now."
You nearly drool at the thought. "With whipped cream."
"And caramel sauce!"
Alba grabs your hand, pulling you out of the security of Alexia's arm and starts sprinting down the street, to where all the restaurants have lined up their menus for the night.
You allow yourself to be dragged, easily keeping pace with her.
You turn to look behind you. "Ale, come on!"
Alexia catches up in record time, grabbing your other hand.
"Seafood, pasta and cookie dough," She laughs," I want dough balls too."
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ssahotchnerr · 6 months ago
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imagine it being a saturday morning and you're laid in bed trying to catch up on sleep when all of a sudden you wake up because of course its jack and ellie poking you awake. you're groggy and aaron isnt there because he's making them breakfast, as he loves to do, and you can only mumble grumpily about how dont want breakfast, you just want your husband to come back to bed. and so the kids scurry into the kitchen to drag him back and he pulls you into his warm embrace. as you rest your head on his soft tummy and drift in and out of consciousness, you're all piled into the bed, discussing weekend plans and just being a family ❤
(My writing could NEVER be as beautiful or expressive as yours but i hope ive conveyed the concept because we all deserve to feel the warmth these thoughts instill in my heart)
AWWW that is adorable 🥹 the literal dream. fem!reader
muchhh too early, jack and ellie are running into your room, bouncing onto aaron and waking him up first (to be fair, he was already awake, he had heard them coming from down the hall LOL), telling him good morning, telling him what they dreamt about, asking him to c'mon and get up!!!!
you stir at the noise (they're loud), but quickly fall back to sleep - you haven't been sleeping well, have been getting up at the crack of dawn nearly every day, you even fell asleep last night way earlier than usual. aaron knows how exhausted you've been 🥺 so before they can pounce onto you next, he's taking them out (aaron literally caught ellie midway LOL). hehe he's carrying her out sideways as she protests, reaching back towards you, with jack at his heels.
and so aaron starts breakfast <3 as he cooks, they're both crowding around him; jack keeps asking if he can help, so soon enough he's perched on a chair next to aaron so he can easily reach 🫶🏻 ellie isn't as helpful; she brings her toys into the kitchen, which aaron continuously steps on as he navigates around 😭 as she's on the floor and leaves them scattered. hehe he keeps asking her if she's going to play in here, "please play at the table" 😭
and once all is ready, aaron asks them to ask you if you want breakfast, with the instructions of doing so gently, "mom's very tired" 🥺 jack and ellie run back into your bedroom, softly poking you awake. they're close, you can feel their breaths on your face while your eyes remain closed, and you sleepily mumble how you're not hungry, you just want aaron 🥺
so back into the kitchen they go, ellie's pulling on aaron's hand with allll the strength she can muster, attempting to drag him out, telling him that "mommy needs you right right right now🥺🥺🥺"
when aaron slides back into bed 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 you subconsciously adjust yourself so your head's on his middle, nestling into him and aaron's playing with your hair as you doze, running his fingers through your hair, rubbing your scalp, pressing kisses to the top of your head <3333 you're just so comfy and he's so warm and you could easily stay right there forever. and so could he 🥰
and meanwhile, jack and ellie are sitting on the carpet eating their pancakes. some show is on the tv, they're quietly eating and watching while you and aaron are snuggled up together <3 and once they're done, they pile into bed with you both; you're more awake now - pressing kisses to jack's head, tickling ellie to get her to giggle, and talking about the day ahead 🥹
for example, jack states how he wants to go to the park, ellie chimes in with agreement - but aaron mentions how there's errands to run first, you mention how they both need to clean their rooms (which cause the kiddos to groan LOL), but you lift their spirits by saying you're ending the night at grandpa dave's!!!!!! for a yummy team family dinner <3
and once all is discussed, aaron takes them out again: to give you the time to get up officially (he encourages you to spend at least ten more minutes in bed🥹) and to ready for the day with no interruptions. jack's at the age where he can do so independantly, so aaron gets ellie dressed, and even puts her hair in little pigtails 😭😭 he also cleans up breakfast - this is something he insists on doing whenever he's home 🫵🏻 since it falls on you whenever he's away <3
and once you're done, you keep the kiddos busy as he does the same (some days though, aaron will very quickly join you in the shower while jack and ellie are preoccupied 🤭)
and then your saturday begins 🥰 the first order of business - getting their rooms all tidied up
(and thank you my sweet i'm sobbing!!! 🥹 you conveyed this adorable scene beautifully💓😭 i'm wholeheartedly obsessed this will be on my mind forever)
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bombiikki · 17 days ago
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𐙚⋆.˚ ────  breakfast in bed °。⋆⸜
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ – non idol!minji x fem!reader – established relationship !!
synopsis: minji serves face (and singular pancakes) and reader can’t fathom how she pulled such a pretty girl.
contains:fluff, reader is blind (glasses wearer), minji serving face card at 9 in the morning, but only cooked one singular pancake, a teddy bear, the teddy bear is a victim (of watching the lovebirds be loving), also minji is a model but its only mentioned at the end, its cuz she serves face card
a/n: omg tysm for so much love on my first ff like holy shiz bro 😦also i decided in this fic im changing from 3rd perspectitve to 2nd but ive never written in 2nd but i will from now on 🔥
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birds chirped from the balcony as the sun shone into your apartment. in your bedroom, you slept peacefully with your girlfriend, minji, by your side. the sun had seeped its way through the curtains and onto the bed, even in your sleep, you could feel the warmth of the sun. 
you were awoken from movement in the bed; it seemed like minji was already awake. since when did she wake up early on her days off? you felt a soft kiss be placed upon your temple, making you melt into the covers. you listened to your girlfriend get out of bed and tip-toe out of the toom. when she left, you reached out for a teddy bear, left on minji’s side of the bed. you brought it close and snuggled into it before falling back to sleep.
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you don’t know how long you’ve been asleep, but you woke up to a hand stroking your hair. you groggily hummed to the contact as slowly opened your eyes. you were still incredibly sleepy, ready to fall back to sleep in mere seconds.
“morning, sunshine,” you heard minji say. you’re not so sure if that’s what she said, the sleepiness messing with all your senses. 
you looked up to your girlfriend, squinting through tired eyes to try and see her clearer. you didn’t have your glasses on so, combined with how tired your eyes were, you could barely see anything. you blinked slowly a few times before you saw minji’s face a bit more clearer. despite not having glasses on, her beauty blinded you. you knew she was serving face at, what time was it? 9 am? sometimes, it baffles you how you pulled such a divine girl. you almost wanted to go back to sleep because of how much she glowed under the morning sun, it was too much.
“who are you? and why are you radiating with beauty right now?” you said groggily. through heavy eyes, you could still see minji smile softly with her cheeks going pink.
“so poor, tired y/n doesn’t even remember her own girlfriend?” minji said with a pout. “that’s too bad, especially since i made you breakfast too,” she continued.
it seemed like words came through one ear and went through the other because you just continued to look at minji with tired eyes. you watched as your girlfriend tilted her head and then chuckled. listening to her chuckle was like listening to pure honey. it was soothing and comforting in all the right ways and it made you feel alive. 
blinking away your sleepiness, you sat up from your sleeping position. you sat yourself close to minji, shoulder to shoulder, and leaned into her just slightly.
“so, i heard the word breakfast..” you grinned, feeling a bit rejuvenated. 
minji looked at you funny as you began to regain energy. you swore you could hear her mutter the words “big back” before smirking and handing you a plate. 
you still hadn’t gotten your glasses yet, so the plate kind of looked like a blob with a light brown blob on top of it. you reached out for your glasses on the bedside table to look at what your girlfriend had cooked up this time. 
“one singular pancake?” you asked, taken aback at how utterly normal this one singular pancake looked. 
you turned your head towards your girlfriend, who wore a big, proud smile. 
“bon appetit i guess!” you muttered before barehanding your pancake since minji forgot to give you utensils. but who would even need utensils when eating one simple pancake?
“so, how is it?” minji asked, still flashing a big ol’ smile at you.
“minji.. it's a singular pancake. what do you expect me to say?” you chuckled, but your expression soon dropped as you watched minji’s eyebrows furrow.
you felt a pang of guilt hit you for not complimenting her pancake. she did go out of her way to wake up early AND cook breakfast.
“you could at least compliment my pancake,” minji said with a “>:[“ expression, then poking your side. she knows you’re ticklish and so she smirks when you flinch. 
“i know minji, i’m sorry. your pancake is very good and thank you for making it for me,” you said with a soft smile. 
you lean into your girlfriend once more, resting your head on her shoulder as you continue eating your pancake. you feel minji kiss the top of your head before resting her head on top of yours.
“there’s more pancake batter in the kitchen by the way,” minji whispers.
“what?! there was more batter and you gave me one singular pancake??” you exclaim, getting up from your position and looking at minji with a bewildered expression.
minji grins widely and shrugs her shoulders with an “oopsies” to follow.
you attack her.
you place the empty plate onto the bedside table before turning around quickly and pouncing on your unexpecting girlfriend. you start to attack her sides, tickling her as much as you can before your attack backfires on you.
“how’s it feel to be the victim now?” you snicker as you continue to tickle her like no tomorrow. 
it isn’t long before she begins to retaliate and pounce on you. but, instead of tickling you, she pins you to the bed. you watch her with flushed cheeks as she positions herself on top of you. you watch a smirk form on her face, how her hair falls from gravity, the playfulness in her eyes.
“you’re so pretty, oh my gosh,” you say casually. you watch as minji’s cheeks begin to flush, and then suddenly she lets gravity do its thing.
“tell me something i don’t know,” minji mutters, crushing you with her weight. 
she turns the both of you onto your sides, face to face. your legs are intertwined with hers, with one of her arms wrapped around your body. your own arms are positioned between both of your chests.
“i would kiss you right now, but morning breath is a bitch,” you huffed, bringing both of your foreheads together.
“i know, you stink.” minji snickered. 
you watched her intently as she brought her lips to the tip of your nose, then your soft cheeks, and then to your temple. you giggled under her touch as she brought your foreheads back together.
“i should probably brush my teeth now. and also cook up the rest of the pancakes; i'm starving,” you whispered.
“so was my one pancake not enough? wow, i get it. you just hate me now!” minji dramatically declared, pouting with her hand on her chest.
you looked at her funny, then chuckled. “yeah, that’s why i’m going to make more.”
you quickly get out of bed before minji drags you back down, opening the door of your bedroom. 
you look back to see minji still pouting on the bed. the sun still seeped its way through the curtains, and it hit minji’s eyes lightly which made them glow. her hair is a slight mess from your tickle attack, but she makes it look good. her bare face glowed under the morning sun, and you couldn’t help but stare in utter awe.
“why are you staring? i thought you were gonna go make more pancakes,” minji questioned, wearing a confused look on her face.
“it’s nothing, you just look really gorgeous right now,” you shrugged as you watched minji look away with flushed cheeks.
“you know, with a face card like that, you could be a model,” you said with a smirk. 
“babe, i am a model.” 
“yeah, i have no clue how i pulled you.”
you walked out of the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen before you heard minji’s voice again.
“don’t forget to brush your teeth! i haven’t gotten any kisses from you yet.”
you paused, then turned on your feet towards the bathroom!
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stevesgother · 4 days ago
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Chalkboard Hearts - Pt IV
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Pairing - KindergartenTeacher!Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader
WC - 5.6k
Summary - A snow day prompts Steve and Abbey to spend a little one on one time together.
AN - sorry this one took a little longer! being creative is hard when the U.S keeps sucking me of all my joy. thanks for the patience, love y’all! ~ emma
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Three weeks ago, your daughter’s kindergarten teacher gave you his phone number in a chilly, deserted diner parking lot, and every weekday since that night, Abbey has had to all but drag you from his classroom when you go to pick her up in the afternoons. One topic leads to another and another, and before you realize it, you and Steve have been chatting in his mostly empty classroom for over an hour. But this morning, you’re dialing those digits he gave you on your landlines keypad for the first time with shaky fingers. You’d spent the past hour exhausting all your other options. Your mother? Working. Your sister? Out of town. Your usual babysitter? sick.
Steve was the only person you knew for a fact wouldn’t be working today.
It wasn’t for a lack of wanting to that you hadn’t called yet. Every waking hour since that night, you had been wrestling with yourself about what an appropriate reason would be. Was he flirting with you? Did he genuinely just want you to have access to him in case of an emergency? Both? Your inner dialogue was deafening– like a squawking bird in the back of your brain.
The intrusive volume of your thoughts seemed to quiet now as your leg bounced impatiently– anxiety over the prospect of having to call into work outweighing your trepidation– waiting for him to pick up the call on the other line. 
He finally answered halfway through the fourth ring, “Hello?” Despite the early hour, Steve sounded wide awake. Probably rousing at the same time you did, not expecting to be temporarily blinded by three feet of bright, white snow piled on top of his car. On the kitchen radio, you can hear the newscaster announcing a closure of the local schools.
“Steve, it’s Y/N,” your voice cuts through the static.
He pauses briefly, yours probably being the last voice he expected to hear when he picked up his phone, “Hey, morning–” he clears his throat, “everything alright?”
“Yes– well– I don’t know.” You rub the tips of your fingers restlessly over your closed eyelids, “I don’t have anyone to watch Abbey with the school being closed, I've tried everyone and I really hate to ask but–”
“Of course, I can be there in thirty. Can you give me your address?”
“Are you sure, Steve? I can just call out if–”
“Don’t be ridiculous, just give me your address,” his incredulity and lack of hesitation sends the wings fluttering about in your stomach again, while cementing the reassurance of his words. You gain the courage to repeat your home address for him to write down.
You can hear the sound of pen hastily scratching paper, then after a few beats of silence he speaks again, “It’ll take me a little bit to clear off my car, but I’ll be there as soon as I can,”
“Thank you so much, you have no idea.”
“Don’t mention it,” you can hear the grin in his voice, can picture the flash of perfect white squares, “see you soon,” you breathe a heavy sigh of relief at the click of the receiver being placed back in its cradle. Abbey is bundled up on the couch watching Rugrats, a bowl of cereal in her lap. Normally, you wouldn’t let her eat in the living room, but you needed respite from her usual game of 20 Questions to make some phone calls.
“Hey, Ab,” you say as you approach her, thoroughly engrossed in her cartoons, “Is it okay if Mr. H comes over and watches you today while mommy goes to work?”
The question is more than enough to pull her focus from the television screen. Her face lights up like the Fourth of July as she nearly spills her cereal with the force of her straightening on the sofa, “Really?” She asks hopefully.
“Yes, grandma is working and Julia is sick. Is that okay?” As excited as you know she is, you want her verbal confirmation. Mostly because you’d never put your child in a situation she’s uncomfortable in; but a smaller, more selfish part of you wants to be absolved of the guilt you feel for having to leave her all day.
Your wish is granted almost instantly as she squeals and hops off the couch where she’d been lounging, placing her bowl on the coffee table. Halfway to her room, she calls, “Mommy! Where are my coloring books?”
“They’re on top of your bookshelf,” you call, “don’t make a huge mess, please!”
“I won’t!” She replies, muffled through the drywall separating you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You hadn’t had time to tidy the house or make yourself look even remotely presentable before Steve arrived. If it weren’t for the relief that floods your body upon seeing his car pull in the driveway, you might even be a little embarrassed. Booted footsteps shuffle up the porch as you’re shoveling things into your bag at the last minute, followed by three light knocks on the door.
“Coming!” You shout from where you stand in the dining room.
Before you even have the chance to reach the foyer, Abbey is darting from her bedroom in plastic play shoes and throwing the door open with immeasurable enthusiasm.
“Hey–” Steve starts, expecting it to be you before he realizes who’s greeting him, “Oh, hi Ab,” he waves to the little face staring up at him, “Where’s your mom?”
“Mommy!” Abbey calls, “Mr. H is here!”
Steve spots you holding two pieces of notebook paper clad with chicken scratch scribblings. You look frazzled– hair thrown up hastily and scrubs wrinkly. He scours the place where he would normally find an emotion akin to pity for your distressed state, but in its absence, he only feels endearment laced with a little concern.
He doesn’t get a word in before you’re shoving the papers in his hands and spouting off information that he’s praying is already on the sheets you’ve given him.
“I should be home by five, if anything happens, this–” you point to a barely legible number, “--is my work phone. This is her doctor’s phone number and she’s allergic to peanuts. There aren’t any peanuts in the house but–” you sigh, exasperated with yourself, “just in case.”
The rest of the pages are filled with ramblings about which channels Abbey likes to watch and how to work the television. How, in case she needs a bath, you have to pull and then twist the knob for the hot water to run. That she is not, under any circumstances, allowed to put nail polish on by herself and where you keep her Epi Pens.
Steve’s surprised at how many of these sentiments he already has catalogued. He’s required to know Abbey’s emergency contacts and that she has a nut allergy for his job, but he knows that channel thirty-seven has the best cartoons because Abbey once told him that Power Puff Girls was her favorite– and you’d already relayed to him the hilariously tragic tale of what happened the last time Abbey attempted to paint her own nails.
Despite this revelation, he doesn’t dare interrupt you. He indulges your ranting, a grin creeping involuntarily along his face.
“-- sorry, I’m rambling– I’ve just never left her with someone who wasn’t my mom or her sitter before,” you’re a little breathless after two straight minutes of talking.
“Hey, hey– you’re okay,” he wastes no time reassuring you, “you know I’d never let anything happen to her.” You nod your understanding, “Besides,” now he’s speaking to Abbey, “we’re gonna have a super fun time right?”
She shouts, “Yes!”
He looks at you with his brows raised, amused, “See?”
“Okay, alright,” you kneel down, chuckling, “do I get a hug? Or am I chopped liver?”
Giggling, Abbey wraps you in a suffocating embrace, like always. Her excitement for Steve has never quelled her affection for you, and you can tell that she’s still hesitant to see you go. You smack a kiss on her cheek, grabbing your bag from the floor as you rise again.
“Swear you’ll call me if anything happens?” You ask him one more time, already knowing the answer.
“Cross my heart.” He smiles fondly, stoking the flames burning bright around the cage that your heart inhabits.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Your home is cozy, much cozier than anything Steve had growing up. He’s warmed at the idea that Abbey has the privilege of growing up in a house that feels so lived in– stains on the carpet, soft edges and yellow lighting. There’s clutter on the kitchen counter by the microwave and colorful alphabet magnets securing several bright pieces of artwork to the fridge.
“Are these the pictures you drew in art class last week?” He asks Abbey, who has been trailing behind him all through the house, pointing things out to him as they go.
“Uh-huh, Mrs. Morse helped me with that one,” she points to what Steve thinks is probably supposed to be a zebra.
“Well, you’re very talented, I love them,”
“Can we go play outside?” She asks, drawing out the last syllable and completely ignoring Steve’s compliment.
“Sure we can,” he chuckles, “where do you keep your snowsuit?”.
Abbey takes Steve by the wrist and leads him to the coat closet by the front door. Similar to the rest of your house, it’s stuffed to the brim– full of puffy nylon and heavy winter boots. He catches a glimpse of a familiar brown and green jacket– his jacket. You’d promised to wash it and return it to him, but it must’ve slipped your mind. He grins to himself at the reminiscence as he fetches Abbey’s snow gear and shuts the door.
Steve hadn’t dressed appropriately for a morning rolling around in the cold. He had slipped on a pair of your mittens, probably meant more for fashion than practicality, because his fingers were already completely numb. But he can’t seem to deny her when Abbey pleads with him to make snow angels. They’d just spent the past half an hour building two snowmen– one short like Abbey and one tall like Steve, she insisted, as she wrapped her scarf around the snowman that resembled her.
“Please, Mr. H?” She begs when she notices his hesitancy.
“Alright, alright,” he chuckles, “but then we’re gonna go inside and have lunch. Deal?”
That appears to be a good enough covenant for her, “Okay!” Abbey exclaims, falling fairly harshly to the cushioned ground. Steve braces himself for tears, but Abbey only keeps laughing in that contagious way as she begins spreading her arms and legs out beside her in a repetitive motion.
“Are you gonna make one?” She questions from her place on the ground.
He grunts as he reluctantly lowers himself down next to her, anticipating the icy wetness waiting underneath him. The snow seeps uncomfortably through his jeans, but the sound of Abbey’s unbridled joy nearly makes up for his soiled clothing.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
What’d you want to eat, Ab?” Steve calls from the pantry while Abbey changes out of her wet clothes in her bedroom.
“Not hungry!” She calls back.
He sighs, expecting her stubbornness– she was nearly as mulish as you.
“Remember the deal we made earlier?” He asks, “That if I made a snow angel with you, that you’d have to eat something for lunch, right?”
She emerges from her room, pout prominent on her strikingly adorable features, “But I wanna keep playing,” she whines, giving her foot a little stomp on the linoleum for emphasis.
“We can keep playing after, I promise,” he knows he’s not winning this battle without a compromise, “does your mom let you eat in the living room?” He asks with a lilt to his voice that makes him sound conspiratorial.
“Sometimes…”
“How about…” he pauses as if thinking, “I make us some food and we watch a movie while we eat?”
He can tell he’s got her after that– hook, line and sinker. She still pretends to mull over his proposition for a moment before agreeing, “Hmm…I think that sounds good,” she settles, trying and failing to mask her elation.
That’s how Steve ended up, plates of grilled cheese sandwiches in hand, dodging barbies and miscellaneous stuffed animals on his way to the living room a few minutes later.
“Have you found a movie yet?” He asks Abbey as he sets the plates down atop the coffee table.
“Yes but–” she jumps on her tiptoes, “I can’t reach it,”
Steve walks over to the towering shelf of VHS tapes in front of her, “Which one are you trying to reach?”
Abbey points at the tape in question, “Home Alone,”
“Alrighty,” Steve says as he grabs it with ease, “Your foods on the table, go sit while I put it in,”
Abbey, for once, does as he asks– bounding over to the coffee table with the excitement typical of a five-year-old who has an adult's permission to break a house rule.
While Steve eyes your VCR, he catches a glimpse of a photo out of the corner of his eye, causing him to pause. It’s you, no older than twenty, holding a swaddled baby in a sterile hospital room. He doesn’t recognize the picture as one he’s seen before.
Of course you’ve never seen it before, he thinks, you barely know her. Get a grip.
You’re filled with such youthful brilliance in the shot, despite the underlying weariness of having just given birth; your hair tied messily into a bun at the nape of your neck, sweat beading on your brow bone. It’s just you and Abbey, Steve thinks her father must’ve been the photographer.
He can’t help but think of himself at that age and all the stupid shit he was doing. How, if you had handed him a baby then, he wouldn’t have known the first thing about what to do with it– but here you had raised such a bright, healthy daughter and largely alone. He was struck by such a sudden and overwhelming admiration for you that he nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing.
“Mr. H?” Abbey asked, mouth full, “When are we gonna start the movie?”
Her question sends him hurling back to reality. A reality where he’s your daughter’s kindergarten teacher, and the two of you are friendly with each other at best.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
At some point during the movie, once their lunch was reduced to crumbs on empty plates, Abbey had hauled out her box of coloring books and crayons that she had been looking for this morning.
Steve, the less creative of the two, was coloring in a cartoon illustration of a fairy while Abbey was making her own drawing on a piece of white construction paper. The lack of constant chatter is a welcome reprieve, but he knows that Abbey only becomes quiet when she’s particularly concentrated, so he chances a peek to his right at what she’s working on.
She got a death grip on a brown crayon– shaved almost down to the tip– with her tongue sticking ever so slightly between her lips as she focuses intently on her art.
The picture is of three stick figures– two tall and one significantly smaller in between them. It’s set at what looks to be a playground, a bright yellow sun in the sky and blue scribblings around white clouds. Swings, slides and even a little blue dog adorn the rest of the background.
Pleasantly surprised at her artistry, Steve says, “That looks amazing, Ab!”
She’s snapped out of her stupor, her face split with a wide toothless grin. She doesn’t thank him, only lets out a few bashful giggles at his praise and says, “I like yours too,”
“Is that you?” He points at the littlest figure.
“Mhm, see? I made her hair curly like mine!”
“It looks just like you,” he agrees, then draws her attention to the other figures, “Is this your mom and your dad next to you?”
“This is mommy,” she points, “I put her in the blue clothes she wears at work,” he knows she’s referring to your scrubs, but the phrasing makes him chuckle.
“And this is you!” She circles the figure she’s drawn with the tip of her finger. She’s included his voluminous chestnut hair and his silver wire-framed glasses, even one of the stupid striped polos he wears at school. Looking at it now, it’s obvious who it was supposed to be– but it’s so unexpected that he feels his face heat up at the realization.
“Oh, wow, Ab– That’s–” he grapples to find the words to express the juxtaposition he’s found himself in. He’s honored, truly, to be included in this portrait Abbey’s made of herself and her mother– her family– but there’s a gnawing guilt he can’t seem to shake. The fear that, in some way, he’s replacing her father.
“I love it, Ab, thank you,” he smiles fondly at her work, the proud grin she wears slowly melting the flash freeze of trepidation that encased his conscience.
“Can we hang it on the fridge for mommy to see when she gets home?” She asks after a moment.
“That sounds like a great idea.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Around four o’clock, Abbey begins asking what they’re having for dinner. Steve wonders briefly if you always have to deal with her being so ravenous.
“How about we start cooking now? That way it’ll be ready for your mom when she gets home,”
“Okay,” Abbey concurs. Steve wouldn’t consider himself a Michelin star chef by any means, but he can make a mean chicken parmesan.
A trip to the grocery store was needed to grab some ingredients. After scribbling down the required items on a crumpled receipt, and struggling for ten minutes to get Abbey’s carseat in the back of his BMW, they’re on their way.
He meets her eyes in the rearview mirror, “Do you want me to put on some music?”
“Christmas music?” She asks hopefully.
Steve isn’t the biggest fan of Christmas music– Christmas in general, really– but he obliges her request and turns the dial to their local channel, soft bells and a choir of voices begin to flood through the interior of the car. She really is so harmlessly manipulative with her saucer eyes and round button nose, he can’t seem to refuse her anything.
Steve drives more cautiously than he thinks he ever has, even more so than when he was sixteen and learning how to drive with his family’s Pontiac as his father stared harshly at him from the passenger seat. He comes to a full halt at every stop sign, and he never takes his eyes off the road.
After fighting some early rush hour traffic, they make it. Without a second thought, Abbey grasps Steve’s hand while walking through the parking lot. He tries not to look startled at the sudden contact, recalling how she always seems to have a firm grip on your hand in public spaces too. Steve’s just glad she feels comfortable with him.
“Can I help?” Abbey asks as Steve grabs a cart from the corral.
“Course’,” he smiles, “do you wanna grab the ingredients and put them in the cart for me?”
She bounces excitedly, “Sure!”
Wandering through the aisles, Abbey never strayed from Steve’s side. Every time he read off an item, she would dutifully fetch it and throw it into the cart with a little more force than necessary, but Steve didn’t mind.
“Do you live by yourself?” She asks out of the blue as they peruse the store.
“I do,”
“Then how come you know how to cook?”
He laughs at her inquisitive nature, “Well I have to eat don’t I?”
“Yeah…” she ponders, “I guess so,”
“Alright, the last thing we need is breadcrumbs,” he informs her, scanning the shelves.
Like earlier, Abbey attempts to stand on her tiptoes to try and reach the can in question, “I’m getting it,” she mumbles in determination, very much not getting it.
“Here,” Steve says as he lifts her up by her waist like it was second nature to him.
“Got it!” She exclaims, tossing it in with the rest of the groceries. “Can I ride in the cart now?” She yawns with a polite hand over her mouth. He supposes grocery shopping takes a lot out of you when all the shelves are at least five feet taller than your head.
“Sure,” Steve chuckles as he slots her little legs through the designated holes.
Despite the ride home only being about ten minutes long, Abbey manages to doze off– lulled to sleep by the subtle hum of the car's engine. Steve veered as gently as possible into the driveway, careful not to disturb her even though he was about to wake her up anyway.
“Abbey,” he shakes her softly, “we’re home,”
Abbey rouses, but only slightly. She yawns again and stretches with her arms over her head before extending them out, silently motioning with her eyes still closed for Steve to carry her inside.
“Okay, c’mon lazy bones,” he grunts at the angle but lifts her from her car seat nonetheless. After unlocking the door one-handed, he sets her carefully on the couch and covers her with a plush throw blanket before heading back outside for the rest of the groceries.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The first thing you notice when you approach your front door is the savory smell of something cooking. Inside, the TV is off and your daughter is sleeping soundly on the couch. Quiet clattering noises flood from the kitchen.
The sleeves of Steve’s burgundy sweater are rolled up to his elbows and the kitchen smells of roasting chicken and mahogany as he stirs a simmering pot of homemade pasta sauce. He’s humming some tune softly under his breath– Bob Segar, you think.
“Hey,” you greet with a grin as you set your bag down on the dining table. Steve turns around to meet you as you ask, “What’re you doing?”
“Cooking?” He replies.
“No, really?” You deadpan back, eliciting an amused chuckle from the man standing at your stove.
“Abbey was asking about dinner,” he pauses, “we were gonna do this whole thing– we were gonna make it for you together, have it ready by the time you got home, but,” he gestures with his arm to the living room where Abbey is napping. Steve Harrington is nothing if not expressive– talking with his hands, eyebrows always either furrowed in concentration or raised in amusement. It’s one of the most charming things about him, you think.
“Well, thank you,” you say, “you didn’t have to do that,” you feel a blush heat your cheeks at how domestic this feels– like you come home to Steve cooking dinner for you and your daughter every night. You can picture it as easily as if it were your actual reality and it leaves you feeling briefly vertiginous. You’re not sure Jeremy ever cooked even one meal for you in the entirety of your relationship.
“The chickens almost done and then I'll get out of your hair,” he assumes a teasing lilt to his voice to disguise the fact that he feels like he’s overstepping– overstaying his welcome or crossing some invisible line.
“Are you kidding?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta at least stick around long enough to see how it came out,”
“You don’t mind?” He asks hesitantly.
“Steve, of course I don’t mind,” honestly, you think you’d start a fire and burn your house to the ground if it meant getting him to stay just a little longer to help you put it out, “plus, I’m sure Abbey’ll be stoked.”
“Alright, well,” he smiles warmly, “it’s ready if you wanna go wake the gremlin up,”
At the table, Abbey insists on sitting next to Steve in the chair across from you.
“This is delicious, Steve,” you compliment.
“Best you ever had?” He teases, but his phrasing makes you choke a little on your pasta.
Abbey makes a twisted face, “The sauce tastes funny.” Saved by the bell.
“Abbey!” you scold playfully, poorly concealing a laugh behind the back of your hand, “Sorry– I think she’s just used to eating Prego,”
“That’s okay– I think she’s right, actually,” he assures you, twisting his expression into something sour and causing Abbey to giggle. His eyes are the color of rich soil as he sends you an oh, so familiar look across the table, communicating another silent thought to you. One that says, I don’t mind how blunt she is, I think it’s endearing.
When dinner is finished, Steve insists on doing the dishes for you too. “You cooked, Steve, let me–” you try to barter.
“--You do enough as it is,” he counters simultaneously.
“You watched my child all day!” You laugh at his stubbornness.
“I do that everyday anyway!” He argues, beginning to fill up the porcelain farmhouse sink with hot, sudsy water.
“At least let me help,” you give him that wide eyed look you always seem to be giving him lately. God, you’re no better than Abbey. “You wash, I’ll dry?”
“Fine,” he tries to frown but his smirk betrays him in his act of faux annoyance.
After a few minutes of stuffy silence, you ask, “She wasn’t too much of a pain in the ass today, was she?”
“Not any more than usual,” he jokes and a plate slips through his fingers, causing a small splash of water to coat your face in dishwater. You gasp at the sensation.
“Oh– Sorry!--” he tries to apologize, but you take your dishwater soaked fingers and flick them in the direction of his own face– small soapy bubbles clinging to his lashes and eyebrows.
“I cannot believe you right now,” he says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
“There, now we’re even,” you smirk.
“I’ll let it slide. This time.”
“Mommy!” Abbey rushes into the kitchen, “Can Mr. H stay to watch a cartoon before bed?”
“I don’t know, baby, it’s getting late,” you can just barely see the flash of heartbreak in her gaze before Steve interjects, “It’s okay, I don’t mind staying for a little longer,”
You send him a skeptical glance over your shoulder, but he just nods and asks Abbey what she’d like to watch.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The end credits for an episode of The Rugrats flashes across the screen, illuminating Abbey’s sleeping face in muted shades of blue and orange. She snores, slumped against Steve’s chest with her arms wrapped around his torso. You sit propped against the other arm of the couch watching them intently– trying to memorize the sight before you. You’ve never seen Abbey cradled like this before by anyone else except you. It wasn’t something you felt you craved until recently.
Steve turns, catching you staring but not calling attention to it. He can count on several hands the amount of times he’s done the same to you– Steve Harrington is many things, but he is not a hypocrite.
“Did you know the guy from Devo wrote the theme song for this?” He gestures towards the television.
“Really?”
“Mhm,” he replies, “I can’t remember who told me that,”
After a few beats of hushed silence, you say, “Should probably put that one to bed– unless you wanna be here all night,” you try to joke but your voice shakes.
He would if you were sincerely asking. He’d stay right here on this uncomfortably worn sofa, with your daughter whom he has such an affinity for, sleeping against his chest for the next millenia. He’d fossilize here if he could– your presence beside him calm and grounding like an anchor in a storm.
He voices none of this. Instead he says, “Do you want to take her?”
“It’s okay,” you wave him off, “I’ll just come with you.” The three of you slowly make your way to Abbey’s bedroom, Steve carrying her bridal style against his torso and the door creaks on its hinges when Steve pushes it open with his hip. She stirs only a little when he sets her down, but is soothed quickly with a firm palm stroking her back a few times.
The door clicks behind you as Steve leads you both back to the living room.
“I should probably–”
“Do you want–”
You begin to speak at the same time, awkward chuckles leaving both of your nervous lips.
“You first,” he offers, scratching the back of his neck.
“I was– just gonna ask if you wanted some wine, but I know it’s late–”
“Wine sounds great.” His lips form a line across his face as he grins.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Half a bottle of wine split between the two of you, and your hands were tingling from the effort it was taking not to reach out and card your fingers through the hair of the man sitting across from you.
“How come you never called?” He asks suddenly, but not unkindly.
“Hm?”
“You never called– well, not til’ this morning at least,”
“Didn’t know what counted as an emergency, I guess,” you shrug, the alcohol shaking your nerves loose.
He must’ve been feeling in a similar way to you– speaking freely in a way he wouldn’t have before, “Just wanted to talk to you,” he smiles fondly.
“Oh,” you whisper, and when you don’t say anything else, Steve changes the subject.
“I like that photo of you on top of the entertainment center,” he says contemplatively, “you looked really…peaceful,”
“Well, raising a miniature version of yourself tends to age you a bit, I suppose,”
“Can I ask you something?” He asks, testing the waters.
“Always”
“Where was Jeremy in the picture?”
“We always talk about me,” you roll your eyes spiritedly and release a contented sigh, “Tell me why you really came to Maine,”
“Don’t deflect,” he teases.
“C’monnnn,” you draw out the last syllable, “answer,”
“I asked you first,” Steve chuckles.
“Jeremy wasn’t at Abbey’s birth,” you admit, it's immediately like an aching weight removed from the length of your spine– one that's been there consistently for years. “He didn’t even want me to have her,” you scoff humorlessly.
You had told almost no one this before. For the sake of keeping appearances, even after he passed, only your mother and sister knew that Jeremy had pushed for you to terminate your pregnancy when he’d found out; and that only once your daughter was actually born did he want to be involved in her life. The burden felt shockingly easy to lay at Steve’s feet, like someone might confess to a priest. This tender man sitting across from you– whether it was the wine or simply his presence, you aren’t sure– but it felt so effortless to be vulnerable right now. Your soft, white underbelly on display for him to do as he pleases, trusting him to have a gentle touch.
“That fucking sucks,” he knows you well enough by now to understand you’ve never cared for empty platitudes, so he doesn’t bother schooling his bitter, empathetic expression, “M’ sorry,”
Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, you say, “Your turn,”
“My old man was an abusive, drunk asshole,” he says frankly, “I don’t know if I ever saw him sober,” he huffs a laugh but there’s no humor behind it. “I needed to get out– to see what else there was, you know?” He asks, and you nod, “He died in my sophomore year of college. Didn’t even go to the wake.”
“Well, I’m really glad you ended up in this shithole,” he laughs at that, “I think you’re pretty neat, Harrington,”
“Thanks,” he deadpans, “Juries still out on you,” he pokes your side and you giggle like you’re a damn teenager again.
You swat him lightly on his bicep in retaliation, and before you know it, you’ve both succumbed to a fit of contagious laughter. When it begins to die down, you’re closer to him than you’d been before. It steals the breath from your lungs and your heart thrashes inside your ribcage like a wild animal.
You’re gazing at each other now, heads light from the alcohol and dizzy with proximity. His heavy lidded gaze lands on your lips for a second too long, and then he’s pulling your face flush to his own by the sharp edge of your jaw.
It’s a soft kiss, but it’s maddening nonetheless. His lips are plush and smooth– malleable against yours. You huff a surprised breath of air, but don’t pull away. One of his calloused hands is resting firmly on your waist while the other one snakes up tenderly to hold the back of your head. You feel that familiar itch to bury your fingers in his brown tresses, so finally, you do. What realistically only lasts a moment, feels like hours before he’s pulling away, nearly frightened.
When he looks at you, his doe eyes are wide with fear, glassy with the impending fallout of what he’d just done. He stammers, “I’m sorry–that was–” he runs his hands down the length of his guilt twisted face.
“No– Steve, It’s okay, I–”
“I should go–” he says quickly as he slips his shoes and coat on, not even bothering to tie the laces, he grabs his keys, “I’m sorry I’ll– I’ll see you on Monday,”
He’s closing the door behind him before your mind gets the chance to catch up with your mouth. You wished to tell him that it was okay, that you liked it– that you wanted him to stay and never leave again.
But it’s too late. You’re left alone in the stifling air of your living room, half a bottle of wine on the coffee table and your heart on the floor.
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stevie-petey · 9 months ago
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episode two: the mall rats
Steve lazily drapes an arm over you, which Dustin narrows his eyes at. “Yeah, I mean. Sure. It’s not really a good idea for me, though. I gotta keep in shape for the ladies.” “Ugh,” you scoff in disgust at Steve’s words and shrug his arm off of you before scooting away from him. Sometimes you forget how much of an idiot he can be. That he used to wear the crown of King Steve. You turn slightly away from him and finish eating your ice cream, annoyed and slightly hurt, though you know you have no right to be. It’s not like you’re with Steve, anyways.
Summary: dreams are weird, billy is a hitchhiker, and hopper flirts with joyce in front of you (youre not sure which is scarier), somehow robin knows russian and has genius ears, you get caught in an awkward breakup showdown, and you shamefully are shocked when you discover that hawkins is anything but normal. you would think youd be a pro at this already, but at least steve is hot and really good at sneaking through windows.
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, allusions to violence, fem!reader, use of y/n
Words: 13.2k
Before you swing in: hello !!! new chapter, i am so sorry for the wait :/ the end of the semester has been killer and ive been super busy with my lab job (i present at a conference friday ... pray for me). heres chapter 2, she somehow ended up being 13k words but lets ignore that for my own sanity !
-
There are dandelions all around you.
Their puffs of white surround you as the seeds dance in the air and settle atop of your head and tickle your cheek. They’re soft, reminiscent of the snow that encases you every winter in Hawkins and the days you used to chase Jonathan around in his backyard.
You’re barefoot in a field that you can’t quite place. The grass below you skims against your ankles as the dandelion seeds float towards the tops of the green. It’s a familiar landscape, something tells you that you’ve been here before, and the thought is almost reassuring to you.
The sun is warm against you and there’s someone in the distance. You open your mouth to call out to them, they feel as familiar as the landscape before you does, but when you try to speak, the dandelion seeds begin to swarm into your mouth. The puffs of white seem to turn into daggers in your throat as they cut your tongue and slice inside you as you struggle to breathe.
You try to scream, but nothing comes out. The dandelions now draw blood as they continue their malicious attack on you. You claw at your mouth and cower in the field, trying to flee from what’s attacking you, but the dandelions only follow as you try to call after the figure you saw in the distance.
Stumbling blindly through the grass, panic stricken and longing for the person who had once been at the top of the hill, your foot catches on a root and suddenly you’re falling. This time, you do scream, and the dandelion seeds spill from your mouth as you fall into an endless abyss.
“Y/N!” Your eyes fly open and your body shoots from your bed; you almost head butt Dustin in the process. He flinches back, startled by your violent reaction, and he puts his hands up in surrender and backs away. “Geesh, I was just trying to wake you up.”
It takes you a few moments to process that you are, in fact, awake. Your heartbeat is still pounding rapidly in your throat. You can still feel the dandelion seeds on your tongue and the millions of little cuts they left behind.
Dustin stares at you with slight concern in his eyes and you clear your throat, trying to rid the memory of your dream. That’s all it was. A dream.
Clearing your throat again, you try to calm yourself down. “Why are you in my room?”
“Like I said, I was trying to wake you up.” Your brother says as if you’re an idiot.
“But why?”
“Did you bang your head or something last night?” He gives you an odd look and you glare at him. “Cerebro caught a Russian code, remember? You promised we’d see Steve today to talk about it!”
You rub your eyes, exhausted. It’s taking longer than usual for your mind to wake up and process everything. “I know, I know… What time is it?”
“Eight, now get up and go get pretty for Steve so we can discuss how to become American heroes.” Dustin crosses his arms, silently daring you to argue.
“There was so much wrong with that sentence,” you groan, but reluctantly throw your blankets off of you and start pulling out random shorts and a t-shirt to wear. “You’re lucky it’s the weekend and I don’t work today.”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Dustin mocks you, tossing you a white t-shirt and removing the red one from your hands. “Steve likes you in white, now hurry up.”
Your mouth drops in shock, but your brother simply rolls his eyes at you and leaves your room so that you can get dressed.
“How does he even know that?” You whisper to yourself, now alone in your room.
Dustin bikes ahead of you as you make your way to Joyce’s store in Downtown Hawkins. He had complained when you told him that you needed to make a pitstop there before going to the mall.
“I haven’t seen Steve in a month!”
“And Mrs. Byers is close to losing her job at Melvald’s, so you can wait the extra five minute detour it takes to deliver her muffins to cheer her up.”
Your brother had tried to argue some more, but you simply shoved a fresh baked muffin in his mouth and began to bike away.
Now, as the two of you head towards Downtown, the early morning air fills your lungs and slowly wakes you up. It’s quiet, Hawkins isn’t quite awake yet in the early hour. Only the bees buzzing past your ear seem to be lively.
You watch Dustin up ahead and briefly marvel at how much bigger he seems to have gotten in the month he was away at camp. He looks older, more mature, no longer the baby brother your mom brought home fourteen years ago.
As you’re lost in your reminiscence, you almost miss the figure that stumbles along the side of the road.
“Dustin!” You yell at the boy, weary of whoever is up ahead. “Stop!”
He hears the fear in your voice and screeches his bike to a halt. Turning around, he checks to make sure you’re okay. “Did something happen?”
You stop next to him and discreetly point at the figure a few yards away. It seems to be a boy, maybe a teen your age, but he’s walking as if he’s in immense pain. “You see that?”
“Yeah,” Dustin squints and also seems unnerved by the person’s appearance. “Think it’s anything dangerous?”
“I don’t know…” Something feels familiar about the person. Their hair, the way it’s styled, reminds you of someone. You squint as well, your eyes catch on the person’s leather jacket and the expensive brand, there’s a faint outline of cigarettes in the pocket, and the sight fills your nose with the smoke that once choked you last winter. “I think it’s Billy.”
“Why is he walking on the side of the road?” Dustin makes a face. “I know he has a car, the bastard almost ran me and the party over on Halloween.”
You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and try to understand why you feel this tug within you to get closer to the teen. Billy is cruel, he is horrible, and the bruises he left on your neck took weeks to fully fade away. Yet there’s a concern within you as you watch him stumble, as if in some daze, and it's this worry that solidifies your decision. “Stay here.”
“What–” Dustin turns and sees that you’ve gotten back on your bike and are now pedaling towards Billy. “Y/N! Are you insane?”
“Stay here!” You order, not really understanding why you’re doing this either. “Just… Wait for my signal!”
Dustin curses, not at all liking this plan, but he listens. He tightens his grip on his bike’s handlebar and makes sure you never leave his line of sight in case you need him for backup.
As you approach Billy, you make sure to circle widely around him so that he sees you coming, before finally facing in front of him. You brake a few feet away from him, incredibly nervous for how he may react. You haven’t spoken to him since last winter, he had kept his promise to Max to leave you alone.
Billy barely seems to register that you’re in front of him. He stops as if he’s in a trance and blinks slowly at you. You notice the cut on his forehead, how there’s still fresh blood dripping from it, and something within you wants to tend to the wound. Then you notice the grime that covers his face and his jacket, and you begin to worry even more.
As you’re eying his disheveled appearance, Billy opens his mouth, and the action looks as if it takes all the energy within him to do so. “S–sweetheart?”
“Are you okay?” You ignore the nickname he gave you that makes your skin crawl. You’re more worried about his appearance. He’s sweating like crazy, almost as if he’s on drugs, and he’s paler than normal. His California tan is gone, his eyes are glazed over, he looks as if he isn’t really here with you right now.
It scares you. You’ve never seen him like this.
“‘M fine,” Billy slurs. He seems… off. More drawn into himself now, less sure of himself. Scared, even. It’s a strange sight to see: Billy Hargrove, alone and frightened, in the early morning of June. “I… I’m fine.”
His slurred words aren’t reassuring, and a part of you wants to offer him a ride on your bike. You assume he’s heading to the local pool to lifeguard, you know it’s where he spends most of his days, but you have Dustin with you and you’re still nervous around Billy.
The wounds he gave you may have healed, but some nights, when the nightmares are really bad, you wake up to his hands around your throat.
It feels wrong just leaving Billy like this, though. He’s still human, Max has slowly opened up to you about her abusive stepdad and the way he punches her brother. You know that Billy’s actions come from his hurt, but you don’t think you’re ready yet to forgive him. Not now, at least.
Reluctantly, you sigh and wave your hand to indicate to Dustin that he’s fine to start biking over. Billy doesn’t seem like a threat right now in his current state. When you see your brother start to pedal closer, you look back at Billy. “Listen, I know we aren’t… friends.”
Billy stares blankly at you, and you really hope that he can understand what you’re saying right now.
“But if you need anyone to talk to, about anything, come find me, okay?” You tell him, hesitantly placing a hand on his arm as you speak. However, when your skin makes contact with his, you flinch at how cold he is.
Before you can say anything else, Dustin finally catches up and brakes softly next to you. He looks nervously between you and Billy. “So… Uh. Ready to go, Y/N?”
“Yeah…” You pull away from Billy, your fingers almost numb from his cold skin, and spare him one last glance as you start to bike away. “Remember what I said, okay?”
Billy doesn’t say anything.
You and Dustin leave him stranded on the side of the road.
Neither one of you talk about this.
As usual, Downtown Hawkins is deserted when you and Dustin arrive at Melvald’s. The only two cars parked in front of the rundown store belong to Joyce and Hopper.
You hop off your bike and park it in the bike rack before carefully untying the container of muffins from the back. Dustin is slumped on top of his bike, silently complaining, and you wave a stern finger at him. “Wait here, okay? This will only take five minutes, I promise.”
“I’m telling Steve that you’re cheating on him with Mrs. Byers.”
“Not cheating if we aren’t together,” you quip, before opening the door to the store.
When you step inside the store, you’re greeted with Hopper obnoxiously yelling and jumping around as Joyce laughs and claps for him. Curious, you carefully side step the grown man and make your way over to the woman.
“Y/N!” Joyce lights up even more when she sees you, and then lets out a small cheer when she sees that you’re holding one of your signature baked goods containers. “Are those for me?”
“Always, Mrs. Byers.” You grin at her and set the container down. “They’re the muffins you really liked last week, thought I’d bake a special batch just for you.”
Hopper now joins you at the store’s counter in front of Joyce. He’s practically vibrating with his excited energy, so much so that he even smiles at you and claps a hand behind your back. “Kid, it’s like you knew we’d be celebrating a monumental occasion today.”
“What, did Jonathan finally wash his bedsheets?”
Joyce shakes her head and Hopper claps again, now grasping your shoulders and shakes you around. “No, even better! I got Mike out of my house!”
Through Joyce, you had learned all about Hopper’s utter disdain of Mike’s relationship with El. He has spent every day at their cabin since getting together, and even you have had to pry the girl away from Mike a few times to hang out with her. It’s hard bonding with El when Mike is breathing down your neck.
You’re all for young love, you think they’re adorable together, but Christ. You understand Hopper’s frustration.
“Actually,” you’re still being shaken by the man. “That does sound better. How’d ya do it?”
Hearing your question, Hopper thankfully stops shaking your shoulders and now happily points at Joyce. “It was all her. I’m the puppet, she’s the master. Joyce gave me a brilliant script to say to the kid.”
“So you remembered everything?” Joyce asks, now unwrapping one of your muffins with glee.
“Yeah… well,” Hopper pauses. “I mean, I had to improvise a little bit, you know?”
You wince. “Oh, that’s never good.”
He glares at you but continues to explain. “It turns out that getting to Mike was the key.”
His words only make you wince again, and you look at Joyce. She meets your eye and the two of you silently agree that something doesn’t sound right here. She questions Hopper further. “And you didn’t yell at him?”
Hopper hesitates, which you expected. “I’ll… tell you everything over dinner.”
“Okay!” You step in between the adults and wave your arms out, preventing whatever else is about to be said. “I’m still here, let’s remember that.”
The chief glares at you again and narrows his eyes. “You’re right, you are still here. Why are you still here?”
“Because Mrs. Byers loves me and I baked her delicious muffins.” You deadpan, which Joyce chuckles at. “And while I’m sure whatever she told you to say to Mike was lovely, I have my doubts that you actually listened.”
“She’s got a point, Hop.” Joyce voices.
Hopper sighs at you both. “Okay, maybe I said some things, haven’t told El the whole truth, but what else was I supposed to do?”
“Not lie to kids?” Crossing your arms, you make a face at the man.
“Easy for you to say, little miss Hawkins’ sweetheart.” Hopper scoffs at you. “Got any better advice?”
You roll your eyes at his words. You understand that the man is still grappling with being a father again, he’s never been one to handle feelings any better, so you spare him some pity and try to be honest with him, say what he needs to hear. “Look, all I’m saying is that the best thing my deadbeat father ever did was teach me kindness, and it broke my heart when he was dishonest in the end. Just, don’t be that way with El, okay?”
Hopper is quiet as your words hang in the air.
Joyce is quiet as well, looking between you and the chief with a fondness in her eyes. It’s not often she sees someone render Hopper speechless, and she knows that it’s one of the many things she loves the most about your relationship with him. Though she would never tell you this, she thinks that Hopper secretly has his own fondness for you as well.
When the silence stretches for an uncomfortably long amount of time, you clear your throat and change the subject. “Well! This was fun, happy we did this.”
Hopper snorts, relieved you’re moving on as well. “Get lost, kid.”
“Gladly.” You turn back to Joyce and press a swift kiss to her cheek. “I’ll see you later, Mrs. Byers!”
Joyce says goodbye as well, and when you’ve left the store, she faces Hopper with a slight smirk. “She’s a good kid, Hop.”
“She is,” he agrees, looking down at his shoes. He will never admit this to anyone else, but to Joyce he knows his words are safe. “She’s the best of ‘em.”
When you finally get to the mall, Dustin basically dumps his bike in a spot next to a disgruntled older couple and runs before you can even slow down. He’s so lost in his excitement to see Steve as he runs towards Scoops and leaves you to deal with his bike and the couple alone, which you groan at.
“He acts like it’s been a year,” you grumble, finally hopping off your own bike to grab Dustin’s and secure them both to a nearby rack. After mumbling a quick apology to the couple your brother practically threw a bike at, you run after him inside.
By the time you catch up, Dustin has just entered Scoops and is talking to Robin. You approach, curious to see how this event will unfold. Robin hasn’t met your brother yet, and you have a feeling that his abrasive nature will either make her his biggest fan or absolutely hate him.
It’s the Henderson charm, really.
“I’m Dustin,” your brother introduces himself as you come to stand next to him. When he notices your arrival, he motions towards you and winks at Robin. “I’m sure Y/N has told you all about me.”
Robin raises her eyebrows at the kid, and you try to cover a giggle with a cough. “I’m Robin. I’m sure Y/N has told you a lot about me.”
“I probably have,” shrug, knowing you always talk about the people you love. When Robin and Dustin both look at you with confused faces, you quickly clarify, “I’ve talked about you both, I mean.”
“Can we cut the chit chat?” Dustin asks, now annoyed by how long this conversation is taking. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Robin, but uh. Is he here?”
“Is who here?” Robin looks over at you for help, but before you can prepare her for the inevitable storm of Steve’s bizarre and endearing friendship with Dustin, the older teen’s body comes crashing through the backdoor and his sneakers squeak loudly against the tile.
“Hendersons!” Steve raises his arms in the air in greeting, an ecstatic smile on his face when he sees both you and Dustin standing in Scoops Ahoy. You and your brother start to laugh as Steve now dances around, cheering and gleeful. “You’re both here! Little Henderson is back!”
“I’m back!” Dustin cheers. “And you got the job!”
Steve is beaming and his smile is probably one of the happiest you’ve seen cross his pretty face. He had complained about missing Dustin the entire month he had been gone, moaning and groaning about how he was bored at your house now that he didn’t have Dustin to shoo away.
“I got the job!” Steve mimes playing the trumpet before he starts his intricate and dumb handshake with Dustin.
It’s a complicated process, with fist bumps and pretend lightsaber death. They had come up with it during a particularly boring snow day at your house. You watched as they thought up the handshake while you made cocoa for everyone, heart swelling as Steve was so patient with your brother and encouraged his nerdy little habits.
It had taken them almost the entire day to create what they deemed “the perfect handshake”, and as they go through it once more in Scoops Ahoy, you feel the same swelling in your chest as you did the very first time you saw them come up with the handshake.
While you gaze fondly at Dustin and Steve, Robin stands next to you and watches in horror. As Steve pretends to spew his guts everywhere, the girl leans over to you and says, “Is this what you deal with every day?”
“Yeah,” you can’t help but smile softly at the two boys. You missed seeing them together, more than you thought you had.
Robin sees the dreamy look in your eyes as you stare at Steve and she gags. Unhappy with how this day is looking, she turns to him. “How many children are you friends with?”
Steve’s smile falls and he sighs in defeat. Wordlessly he points at Robin as he looks at Dustin and raises his eyebrows in an exasperated manner. He’s had to deal with Robin’s teasing all summer, and Dustin seems to catch onto what he’s trying to tell him, so he quickly changes the subject. “Sorry we got here so late, man. Y/N insisted on gossiping with Mrs. Byers before coming here.”
“I spoke with her for five minutes.” You roll your eyes at him.
“Yeah, five minutes too long.”
“Your breath reeks.”
“You have a pimple on your chin.”
You gasp and quickly cover your face. “I do not–”
“This is fascinating,” Robin whispers as she looks between you and Dustin. “It’s like there’s two Y/Ns.”
Steve, having heard Robin, laughs. His smile had returned to his face as he watched you interact with your brother. “They’re reunited for one day and are already at each other’s throats.”
“Got a month of insults to catch up on,” you flick Steve, who winces and rubs his nose, offended.
Dustin suddenly straightens up. “Speaking of catching up…” He looks at you and tries to subtly motion over at Steve, mouthing “Russians!”, and being everything but discrete.
Steve frowns, unsure what’s happening, but you’re too busy worrying about revealing anything to Robin; she’s scarily good at reading people. Looking wearily at her, you clear your throat and tug at Dustin’s shirt. “C’mon, why don’t we get some ice cream and tell Steve about what you built at camp?”
Again Steve frowns. He had been hoping to share a sundae with you, not talk about boring science stuff with your brother. “Why do I wanna hear about some weird nerd tech–”
“Because you promised me free ice cream last night, when we called.” You interrupt, silently pleading with him to catch onto what you’re saying. “Remember?”
Something shifts within Steve’s eyes and his carefree expression now darkens. He remembers the fear in your voice last night over the phone, how you had asked him to tell you stories to fall asleep to. Clearing his throat, Steve nods and plays along. “Oh, how could I forget? Take Dustin to your booth and I’ll whip up some sundaes.”
You smile at him, thankful as always for how attuned to you he is, before you say a quick goodbye to Robin and tug your brother over to where you normally sit. Once you’re sure Robin isn’t listening, you yank at the boy. “Real subtle back there, doofus.”
“Oh, like Robin would know what Russians could mean.” Dustin grumbles as he slides into your designated booth. His hand catches on something in the seat and he tugs at it, pulling out an old Captain America comic. Holding it up, he narrows his eyes at you. “You really made a home here, huh?”
“Sure did,” you prop your feet up and dig out the Spider-Man comic you had been reading a few days ago. “The ice cream is surprisingly good here.”
“Yeah, I’m sure the ice cream is the reason you’re always here.” Dustin doesn’t even want to imagine how many hours you’ve spent in this cheesy ice cream parlor ogling over Steve. Maybe it’s a good thing he was gone most of the summer.
You flip to the last page you left off on and ignore Dustin’s insinuation. “Hey, free ice cream is free ice cream.”
“Can’t argue with you there.” Steve arrives and places down two giant sundaes onto the table. He slides next to you into the booth with a grand flourish. “Tada!”
Dustin wastes no time digging into his ice cream, making obnoxious noises as he shoves the food into his mouth. You cringe, disgusted that you’re related to him, but Steve kisses your cheek when the kid isn’t looking, and you can’t help but smile. Sneaking your own kiss to his cheek, you thank him. “You’re getting really good at whipping up sundaes, Steve.”
He preens at your praise. “It’s all in the forearms, ya know?” He makes a show out of rolling up his sleeves to show off his arms, which you giggle at with a slight flush on your face. Despite working inside all day, Steve has a nice sun kissed tan, which compliments how long his hair has gotten this summer.
Between his short Scoops Ahoy shorts and his hair streaked with sunlight, summer looks good on Steve.
In between bites of his ice cream, Dustin lifts his head up. “Quit talking about Steve’s arms and flirting in front of me, it’s gross.”
You fling a banana peel at him. “You’re the one too busy devouring his food to talk about anything else.”
“So you admit you’re flirting with me.” Steve teases, winking at you.
Dustin covers his eyes in disgust, forgetting about his ice cream entirely. “Seriously, stop it! You’re my sister, how would you feel if I flirted with Suzie in front of you?”
“I would–” You try to think of a response, but ultimately you deflate, unable to come up with anything. Frustratingly, you realize that the kid has a point; you’d be incredibly grossed out as well. “I would hate it.” You sigh, accepting defeat.
“Who’s Suzie?” Steve asks.
“Dustin’s girlfriend.” You say, popping a cherry into your mouth as you eagerly await the teen’s reaction to the girlfriend news.
As expected, Steve’s jaw drops and turns to your brother. No way the little twerp got a girlfriend before him this summer. “Girlfriend? Since when?”
“Met her at camp,” Dustin smirks at him, proud he’s surprised Steve. “She’s super hot, too. Hotter than Phoebe Cates.”
You roll your eyes at his insistence of referencing Suzie’s appearance, but Steve seems interested, although in disbelief as well. “No, no way. Hotter than Phoebe Cates? No.”
“Why is Phoebe Cates the gold standard?” You ask, unsure when she became everyone’s dream woman. All things considered, she’s incredibly attractive, but it’s weird that every boy you’ve spoken to about this universally finds her attractive. Steve finds her attractive, which you’re choosing not to think about because you don’t look anything like her.
Steve hears the slight bitterness in your tone and shuffles closer to you in the booth. Meanwhile, Dustin takes another bite out of his sundae and nods at him. “Mhm, she’s brilliant, too. She doesn’t even care that my real pearls are still coming in.”
“That’s great, Dustin!” You say, happy that your brother has found a girl who accepts him as he is. It’s sweet, really.
“I know, right?” He sits up straighter in the booth and smiles even wider. “She says kissing is better without teeth.”
You and Steve share a horrified look. Neither of you can believe what you’ve just heard, and you think a part of you died inside. Suddenly, the delicious sundae you’d been eating now turns to cement in your stomach at the thought of your little brother kissing a girl who enjoys his lack of teeth. “Oh, that’s… Yeah.”
“Wow!” Steve tries to mask his own horror and disgust, leaning even closer to you now to try and ground you as well. “Yeah, that’s… That’s great! Proud of you, man. That’s–That’s kinda romantic?”
Dustin basks in Steve’s praise and your disgust slowly melts away. Your brother genuinely seems happy to be with Suzie and even happier to tell Steve about it all. He won’t admit it, but you know he idolizes the teen. Steve’s word is like an oath to him, not even you have this much influence over the boy. If it were anyone else, you’d be offended and hurt, but seeing Steve flash Dustin a wink, you couldn’t have chosen anyone better for your brother to admire.
“So do you really just get to eat as much of this as you want?” Dustin motions towards his half-eaten sundae before turning to you. “How much ice cream have you had this summer?”
“A lot,” you shrug, taking another bite of your own sundae.
Steve lazily drapes an arm over you, which Dustin narrows his eyes at. “Yeah, I mean. Sure. It’s not really a good idea for me, though. I gotta keep in shape for the ladies.”
“Ugh,” you scoff in disgust at Steve’s words and shrug his arm off of you before scooting away from him. Sometimes you forget how much of an idiot he can be. That he used to wear the crown of King Steve. You turn slightly away from him and finish eating your ice cream, annoyed and slightly hurt, though you know you have no right to be.
It’s not like you’re with Steve, anyways.
Robin, from across the parlor, sees your sudden annoyance at Steve and calls out to him, “Yeah, and how’s that working out for you?”
“Ignore her,” Steve groans, not having the energy to deal with Robin’s quips and your anger being directed at him. He turns to you and lowers his voice. “I was kidding, Y/N. You know that–”
“Robin seems cool,” Dustin interrupts, not at all wanting to witness a lover’s feud between you and Steve. He left you two alone for a month, he thought he’d come back to you guys being an old married couple. Instead, he still has to suffer through your weird in between chaos.
You jump at the chance to gush about Robin, all while avoiding Steve’s pleading eyes. “She’s amazing. Genuinely one of the coolest people I know.”
“She’s not.” Steve corrects you, shaking his head. You roll your eyes at him and flick his ear, but as your hand lowers, he catches it with his and intertwines your fingers with a practiced ease. The action makes you blush and look away, still not ready to forgive him just yet. Steve sees the blush and feels your fingers tighten around his and he feels as if he can breathe again. There’s hope, at least. “So, where are the other knuckleheads?”
Dustin sighs. “They ditched me yesterday.”
“No,” Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Y/N, did they really?”
“They… Kinda did.” You wince, absentmindedly placing your other hand on top of the one Steve is holding. He smiles softly at the action, momentarily forgetting about what you've just told him.
“My first day back! Can you believe that shit?” Dustin’s hurt from last night returns, which only makes you feel worse.
Steve leans forward now, invested and equally as offended as the boy. “Seriously?”
“I swear to god,” Dustin pauses to take another bite of ice cream. “They’re gonna regret it, though, big time, when they don’t get to share in my glory.”
You drop your head onto the table and groan. “Is this really how you’re going to segue into the Russian thing?”
“You’re my sister. Why would you expect anything less of me?”
“Touché.” You lift your head back up and continue eating your ice cream. It’s the only thing keeping you going right now. Steve has learned how to make your sundaes perfect, adding the peach ice cream you adore with just the right amount of whipped cream.
Meanwhile, Steve has a confused look on his face as he looks between you and Dustin. “Glory? Russians? Did I miss something?”
Dustin smiles mischievously and lowers his voice as he slides closer to the teen. You roll your eyes at his antics, knowing that the conversation that’s about to unfold will only give you another headache. You missed Steve and Dustin being together, but you didn’t miss the way they seemed to double in stupidity when together.
Looking around to make sure he won’t be heard, Dustin begins to explain. “So, last night, as Y/N and I were trying to get in contact with Suzie…” He pauses, sees that Scoops Ahoy is now filling with more customers, and lowers his voice even more to an almost inaudible whisper and covers his mouth.
You and Steve both lean forward, unable to hear him. The teen asks Dustin to repeat himself while you sit there with slight amazement. You know what Dustin is trying to say, you’re more just surprised the kid can be so quiet. It’s a goddamn miracle, honestly.
Dustin inhales deeply and again tries to discreetly inform Steve of the Russian code, but his whispers are still too low to hear. Taking a final bite of your ice cream, you click your tongue at your brother. “You’re really killing it there, buddy.”
“Dude, just speak louder.” Steve’s curious interest is now more of an annoyance.
“I intercepted a secret Russian communication!” Dustin all but shouts, which causes you to practically throw yourself over the table to cover his mouth.
“Jesus fuck!” You look around and see everyone’s eyes on you, and with your hand still clamped firmly over your brother’s mouth, you clear your throat and laugh nervously. “I mean, haha. Pardon me.” The customers give you a weird look but turn away, though Robin continues to stare at you.
Steve gently removes your hand from Dustin’s mouth and once again intertwines his fingers with yours. “Jeez, okay. Yeah. That’s what I thought you said.”
“Did you have to yell?” You sneer at Dustin, still looking around nervously to make sure no one is paying too much attention to the three of you. While Hawkins Lab was overrun by Demodogs and every scientist within it died, you’re still terrified that they still have allies watching your every move.
Not that you think the Lab is responsible for Russians, but… Better safe than sorry.
Dustin rolls his eyes at you. “Your boyfriend is the one who couldn’t hear me.”
You’re about to correct him when Steve waves the boy off and goes back to the main topic. “What does any of that mean, though? The Russian code and whatever.”
“It means that we can never catch a break–”
“It means, Steve,” Dustin sends you a dirty look. “That we could be heroes. True American heroes.”
Steve seems into the idea and you want to scream. You hate the way Dustin is explaining all of this. “This could mean danger, guys.”
Dustin rolls his eyes at you and Steve smiles wearily. “I don’t know, Y/N. It doesn’t seem so bad, ya know? We’ve fought Demodogs, how bad could some Russians be?”
You cross your arms and narrow your eyes. “The Demodogs were created by shifty government facilities. Why are we assuming Russia doesn’t have their own?”
“But… American heroes.” Steve looks heartbreakingly pathetic as he says this, and you realize now that his fixation on being seen as some hero stems from the hurt he still feels over his father. He hadn’t turned into who had expected to become, something that you know his father reminds him of every time he comes back from some business trip. You wish you could convince Steve that he’s more than what his father could ever expect him to be, but you know he wouldn’t listen.
With Steve’s pleading eyes looking at you, lost and hopeless, you can’t argue with him. Sighing, you accept that this is something he has to take part in, if only to rebuild his crumbling confidence. “Tell him what you’re thinking, Dustin.”
“Gladly.” Your brother wastes no time diving in, once more eager and excited to have the attention on him, and it’s only now that you realize he’s doing this for the same reason Steve is: they both feel abandoned and hurt. “We need your help.”
“With what?”
Dustin digs through his backpack and takes out the Russian dictionary he made you steal from work. He holds it up and shows it to Steve. “Translation.”
Steve’s eyes widen and he grabs the book to inspect it. There’s a new spark in his eyes, one that died the day his father told him he wouldn’t attend his graduation. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” you exhale and slump in your seat. There’s no going back now. “I just want you both to know that I hate this plan and your excitement over it, but if I don’t help then you guys will somehow end up in a Russian gulag, and that would just be on me.”
Steve shares a look with Dustin, whose sigh reflects your own. “Glad you have faith in us, Y/N.”
It’s Steve's idea to work on the translation in the backroom of Scoops Ahoy, and neither you or Dustin argue. Technically, he’s the only one who has any real responsibilities today with work and all, so it makes sense to stay at Scoops and hide out there.
Dustin sits at the table next to you as he replays the tape recording over and over again. Steve paces the room and eats a banana, claiming he needed “brain food” to focus on the complex Russian language. You sit with your head in your hands, trying desperately to hold onto the bizarre language that floats around the room.
After his tenth time replaying the code, Dustin pauses the recording and looks at you and Steve. “So, what do you guys think?”
“It sounded familiar.” Steve shoves a piece of banana into his mouth. You cringe at the obscene amount of food he tries to chew at once. Seeing your disgust, Steve waves the banana in your face and asks with a mouthful of food, “Wan sum?”
“It’s like you want me to hate you today,” you slap the banana away, which he chuckles at.
Dustin gets both of your attention again with slight annoyance. He didn’t miss the weird flirting between the two of you at all. “Guys, focus. What do you mean the recording sounds familiar?”
“The music,” Steve still speaks with his mouth full. “The music right there at the end.”
“Why are you listening to the music, Steve?” Dustin exclaims, exasperated.
As your brother berates Steve for his lack of Russian translating, you sit up in your seat processing what he’s just previously said. While you hadn’t thought much of it before, now that Steve has pointed it out, the music does sound familiar. You swear you’ve heard it somewhere before, but you can’t remember where or when. It’s a hazy memory, distant in your mind, yet right in front of you. It’s incredibly frustrating.
“I think Steve is onto something,” you say, but the two boys are too busy fighting to hear you.
“I’m trying to listen to the Russian but there’s music–”
Suddenly the back door swings open and Robin appears. She looks agitated after having to man the cash register all by herself while Steve hides out in the breakroom. “Alright, babysitting time is over. You need to get in there.” When she sees that you’ve erased her whiteboard and replaced her “you suck” columns with the Russian alphabet, her agitation only increases. “Hey, my board! That was important data, shitbirds.”
You get up from the table and walk up to the girl, feeling bad. While you aren’t sure what exactly her “you suck” column and tallies were for, it had been her creation that you had erased without thinking to ask. Plus, you really don’t want her seeing the Russian dictionary on the table. “I’m sorry, Robin–”
“Not you, Y/N. You’re not a shitbird,” she points over to Steve and Dustin. “Those two are shitbirds.”
“I guarantee you, what we’re doing is way more important than your data.” Dustin interjects, a smug look on his face that makes you want to scream. He isn’t at all helping the situation.
Robin begins to walk over to the boys and you reluctantly follow. “Yeah? And how do you know these Russians are up to no good anyways?”
Dustin’s jaw drops and Steve almost chokes on his banana. Seeing their stunned reactions of Robin having figured out what you’ve been doing, you sigh in disappointment. They’re such idiots sometimes. They wrote Russian on the whiteboard, out in the open, and have been playing the recording out loud, full volume, on repeat.
Of course Robin caught onto what you were doing.
Which only makes your nervous body tense up even more. You hate that you have to lie to her, you’ve become really close with her during your visits to Scoops, but you don’t want to drag her into anything dangerous. You’re not sure what exactly any of this Russian code means, but Robin has been nothing but kind to you this summer, you truly care about her, and it would kill you if something were to happen because of you.
So, despite knowing how smart Robin is, you try to think of a cover story. “We were just interested in the language. Ya know, a summer hobby.”
“I can hear everything, Y/N.” Robin sees right through your lies. “Your idiotic brother and boyfriend are both extremely loud.”
“Steve isn’t my boyfriend–”
“You three think you have evil Russians plotting against our country, on tape and you’re trying to translate, but haven’t figured out a word because you didn’t realize Russians use an entirely different alphabet than we do.”
You, Steve, and Dustin all look at one another in varying degrees of awe and despair.
Robin, seeing your stunned faces, smiles. “Sound about right?”
“How could you not know about the Russian alphabet, Y/N?” Dustin angrily whispers at you as if somehow it’s your responsibility to know the ins-and-outs of the language.
“Why would I–you know what, no.” You ignore your brother and turn to Robin, trying to alleviate the situation and prevent her from finding out anything else. She’s too fucking smart, it’s both admirable and aggravating. “Look, whatever you think you heard–”
Suddenly Robin lunges for the Russian dictionary on the table, but Steve’s quick reflexes enable him to grab the book before she can. “Woah! What do you think you’re doing?”
“I wanna hear it.” She juts her chin out in defiance, though you see the slightly hurt expression she tries to mask. She hates that you’re purposely excluding her and taking Steve’s side in this.
You wish you could tell her the truth.
“Why?” You ask in unison alongside Steve and Dustin.
“Because maybe I can help. I’m fluent in four languages, ya know.”
Dustin perks up, now more open to the idea of Robin’s involvement. “Russian?”
“Ou-yay are-yay umb-day.”
Steve and Dustin gasp, believing that they’ve just heard Robin say something in Russian, but you know better. One summer, when the party had been especially nosy and insisted on following you and Jonathan around, the two of you had learned pig latin in order to communicate without the twerps eavesdropping.
Learning against the table, you smirk at Robin. “Osay ouyay owknay igpay atinlay.”
“Holy shit!” Dustin gasps and Steve almost falls over with how quickly he looks at you in shock. Both boys stare at you in awe and you almost feel bad for their tiny little brains.
Robin can’t help but smile at you, you somehow always manage to surprise her. “Impressive, Y/N. Didn’t think you knew pig latin either.”
“That was pig latin?” Steve scrunches his face and hits your brother with his banana peel. “Idiot.”
“Steve, please don’t hit my brother with banana peels,” you pinch the bridge of your nose. It’s only noon and you’re already exhausted from today’s events. “But yes, that was pig latin.”
Dustin shoves Steve away from him and focuses on you again. “When did you learn pig latin?”
“The summer you and the party decided to stalk me and Jonathan.” You shrug, though you smile fondly at the memory. It had been a good summer, just the two of you holed up in your room as you quizzed each other on the bizarre language.
Steve, seeing your fondness at the memory, frowns. He doesn’t like the uncomfortable heat that he feels ignite within his stomach at the thought of you still being so fond over Jonathan. He trusts you, he trusts what you have, but he will never feel equal to him.
Robin notices Steve’s brewing insecurity and quickly changes the subject. She doesn’t have time for the usual hormonal drama between the two of you. All she wants right now is to decipher the Russian so that she can catch a break from Erica and her demanding need to try every free sample ever. “Back to the main point: I can speak Spanish and French and Italian, and I’ve been in band for twelve years. My ears are little geniuses, trust me.”
You bite your lip. Truthfully, Robin has the highest chance of unraveling whatever the hell is in the recording. You’re horrible with languages, high school Spanish had nearly killed you, and Steve and Dustin stand no better chance. “Robin…”
“Come on,” she begs. “It’s Steve's turn to sling ice cream and my turn to translate.”
Steve and Dustin turn to you, unanimously agreeing that you’re the leader in this situation; whatever call you make, they’ll listen. Robin sees the conflict on your face and tries one last time. “I don’t even want credit. I’m just bored and wanna hang out with you.”
Your head spins. Robin’s pleading eyes are hard to fight against and you realize that she already knows more than you’d want her to; she’s already a part of it all, whether you like it or not. Sighing, you give in. “Fine, but only if you promise not to ask any questions about whatever we may find.”
“What would I even question?” She asks, unsure why your tone is more foreboding than accepting.
You share a look with Steve and Dustin. The three of you know just how quickly something simple can spiral into chaos in Hawkins. “Just… promise me, okay?”
Robin extends her hand, just happy to finally have something better to do. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
After you shake her hand, she tosses her ice cream scoop to Steve and he hands her the Russian dictionary. Seeing the exchange sends a slight shiver down your spine. You don’t like how much it feels like you’ve just signed Robin’s life away.
True to her word, Robin’s ears are little geniuses.
With her helping, you and Dustin are able to speed through the translating as Steve works the register. You’re tasked with writing down the letters that Dustin calls from the whiteboard as Robin listens to the tape over and over again.
“Weird ‘r’ with a hook!” Your brother declares for the last letter.
You write it down and can’t help but frown at the message you’ve seemingly deciphered. Showing the writing to Robin, you ask what she thinks. “Are you sure it was that weird ‘r’ sound?”
“I’m positive,” she says. “C’mon, let’s go tell Steve.”
“Are we sure–” You try to ask her again, but Robin has already made her way to the sliding window and gets Steve’s attention.
“We’ve got our first sentence!”
You make your way over and lean against the window as well. Steve, holding two ice cream cones, seems excited by the news. “Oh, seriously?”
“It’s a hesitant first sentence.” You butt in, still unsure if it’s even correct.
Robin rolls her eyes at you. “Ignore her, I’m right.” Then, clearing her throat, she does an impressive Russian accent. “‘The week is long’.”
Steve’s shoulders slump, clearly having expected something better. “Well that’s thrilling.”
“Told you it was a hesitant first sentence.” Then you turn to Robin. “Nice accent, by the way.”
“Why thank you,” she tips her hat at you before focusing back on Steve. “And I know it isn’t thrilling, but it’s progress!”
And with that, Robin spins around and goes back to the table in the breakroom, eager to decipher more of the code. You’re about to kiss Steve’s cheek and say goodbye, but then your eyes land on a familiar red-haired girl and her friend standing in front of the register. You look down at the ice cream in Steve’s hands and note the familiar order you’ve come to memorize since the mall opened.
“Max? El?” You lean further out the window, pleasantly surprised to see them. “What are you guys doing here? Where’s the rest of the party?”
The girls wave at you and giggle, and you realize now that you’ve never actually seen them alone together before. Normally they’re with Lucas or Mike, so it’s a bit jarring to see them getting along so well without the boys. Jarring, but also very lovely.
“We don’t need those idiots.” Max responds, which makes El giggle even more.
Steve whistles, impressed by Max’s bluntness, and hands them their ice cream. They begin to eat the treat before a thought occurs to him. “Wait a second, are you even allowed to be here?”
You walk through the breakroom and come out the main doors to join Steve at the register. While you’re happy to see Max and El getting along, Steve has a point. Why is El here in such a public space? When you had asked Hopper last month if you could take El to Steve’s graduation, it had taken a whole debate and a fresh batch of cookies in order to convince the old man to let her come.
El is still technically forbidden from being seen in public, and yet here she is: running around Starcourt with Max.
You put your hands on the counter and lean towards the girls. They take a few steps back, now knowing that you’re onto them. “Max, El, what are you up to?”
Their eyes widen while you narrow yours, daring them to lie. Then, quickly glancing at one another, they turn around and run out of Scoops Ahoy, leaving you alone with Steve. You both stand there, dumbfounded.
“I thought I only ever had to worry about the boys.” You whisper, horrified. “The girls were supposed to be the ones I could trust.”
Steve rubs your shoulders and kisses your cheek. “You’re gonna go after them, aren’t you?”
You drop your head and sigh. “Yeah, I am.”
“I’ll tell Robin you had a babysitting emergency.” He presses a kiss to your neck now, which you shiver at, before gently shoving you out from behind the counter. “Good luck, angel.”
Steve’s kisses give you the energy you need to run after Max and El. They’re surprisingly fast as they giggle and trade ice cream cones to share. You call after them as you dodge random people in the mall, but your calls are in vain. They ignore you and continue to skip happily away from you.
“Guys!” When you finally catch up to them, they’re outside standing in front of the bike rack. “Why are you in front of the bikes–oh.”
You see Mike, Lucas, and Will unlocking their bikes from the rack as they bicker over something. Faintly you hear Mike and Lucas arguing about splitting money while Will is silent.
There’s a tension between the girls and boys that you now take note of. Normally El would have already been wrapped around Mike’s arms, but she remains by your side as Max approaches the boys. “Well, isn’t this a nice surprise?”
When Mike sees El, he drops his bike in shock. “What are you doing here?”
“Shopping.” El says as she glares at the boy.
You’ve never seen her so cold towards someone. It’s kind of frightening, honestly. “Oh, Wheeler, what did you do?”
“What did I do? No, what did you do? You’re the one who is letting her walk around Starcourt where everyone can see her!” Mike shrieks, always finding ways to blame you for his own problems.
You scoff. “Hey, I’ve only known about this for like, a second longer than you have.”
“Sure, likely story.”
“Have you ever considered not pissing off your girlfriend?”
“Have you ever considered getting a better boyfriend than Harrington?”
“Okay–”
Max steps in between you and Mike, annoyed. “Both of you shut up!” She waves her hand over El’s outfit and tries to turn the conversation around. “This is El’s new style. What do you think?”
“I think she looks nice–”
Mike cuts you off. “What’s wrong with you? You know she’s not allowed to be here.”
“What is she, your little pet?”
El clenches her jaw. “Yeah. Am I your pet?”
“What? No!” Mike denies, equally as confused as you are.
You’re not quite sure how you ended up in this situation.
“Then why do you treat me like garbage?” El questions the boy.
You frown at this and subtly step towards Lucas, desperately hoping for some clarification. “Did I miss something?”
“It’s a long story.” He sighs, and you now realize that Max must be angry with him, too.
El continues to interrogate Mike, and you almost feel bad for the boy. “You said Nana was sick.”
“She is! She is sick.” Mike lies through his teeth. You think about what Hopper told you earlier, how he had said some things to get Mike away from El, and you suppose now that it had involved some type of lie about the kid’s grandma.
Then Mike shoves at Lucas to get him to play along as well. Reluctantly he echoes his friend, though you know he’s aware that he’s only making this worse for himself. “She’s super sick, that’s why we’re here, actually.”
Mike is quick to follow along. “Yeah, we’re shopping! Not for us, but for her, for Nana.”
You catch Will’s eyes, who has remained silent this entire time, and he shakes his head at you in disappointment. You look back at Mike and Lucas now, unamused. “Nana isn’t sick, is she?”
“She is! But…” Mike fumbles over his words now. “We’re also here to get a gift for El. We just–we couldn’t find anything that suited her and I only have like, $3.50, so it’s hard.”
“It’s expensive… Had we known you were at the mall we would’ve asked you for money.” Lucas mumbles, which you flick his forehead at. “Ow, Y/N!”
El looks between Lucas and Mike, her eyes showing her hurt. “You lie.” When neither boy says anything, her hurt only grows and her voice wavers with tears. “Why do you lie?”
Again, El’s words are met with silence. Mike looks down, too ashamed to meet her eyes, and you shift uncomfortably, feeling even worse for the kid. You hadn’t expected to witness an awkward relationship feud today, and it wasn’t all entirely his fault. You know that Hopper played a role in this.
Later, when you have the time, you’re definitely going to yell at the police chief about this.
As the silence drags on, the local bus that drives everyone in Hawkins to Starcourt now arrives in the parking lot. Hearing its brakes hiss, El looks behind her and seems to make up her mind about something. Her face is stony as she approaches Mike and her words are laced with venom. “I dump your ass.”
You and Max gasp, though yours is more from shock and Max is more from being impressed.
Mike’s face falls and El whips around and begins walking towards the bus. Max follows, waving goodbye to you, and you’re left to deal with the unfortunate outcome of this bizarre situation.
Laughing nervously, you awkwardly pat Mike’s back. “You’ll… Uh, fix this, right?”
Mike slaps your hand away and marches back towards his bike. His shoulders droop and he looks tired from all he’s had to deal with today. Lucas doesn’t look any better and silently follows after his friend. Will is the only one who remains, and he drops his head to your chest and groans. “I just wanted to play DnD today.”
“I know, little bee.” You scratch his head and try to console him. “But sometimes life gets in the way. Right now Mike and Lucas need you, do you think you could help them?”
Will looks up at you. “I don’t know… Maybe, I guess.”
“Do what you can,” you kiss his forehead, wishing you could do more for him. All he’s wanted to do all summer is be a kid again, but his peers are growing older and leaving him behind. It isn’t anyone’s fault. “I gotta go, buddy. But I promise you and I will do something this week, just the two of us, okay?”
He nods, content with this, and you ruffle his hair before heading back inside to Scoops.
Hours later, you, Steve, Dustin, and Robin all uncover the rest of the Russian code.
You stand with your back against Steve’s chest as he has his arms draped loosely over you. Robin and Dustin stand to your left as you all face the whiteboard that has the message written on it, reading it out loud.
“‘The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west’.”
There’s a pause as you all take in the bizarre message. You’re extremely doubtful that it’s right. The order of the words is too abstract to possibly be purposeful. It just doesn’t make any sense.
“Are we sure this is right?” You ask the group, knowing no one else will utter the doubt that settles over the room. Steve tightens his arms around you and shrugs.
“It has to be.” Dustin mumbles, though even he looks unsure.
Robin sighs. “Well, whether or not we’re right, dingus and I have to close up shop.”
Steve groans but reluctantly lets go of you so that he can help Robin with closing. While the two teens wash the ice cream scoopers and put away the remaining ice cream, you sit with Dustin at one of the booths.
“Maybe it’s a code?”
“Dustin, we just translated a foreign language. Thinking it’s a code seems like a cop-out, honestly.” You rest your head in your hands and watch Steve count the money in the register. Feeling your eyes on him, he looks up and winks at you. Blushing, you look back at your brother. “We probably just translated it wrong.”
“My ears are right! We didn’t translate anything wrong!” Robin shouts from across the store.
Dustin perks up. “See? We have to assume we’re onto something.”
You bite your lip, still unsure, but leave the topic alone for now. There’s no point arguing with Dustin and Robin because it’s not like any of you can just ask a native Russian speaker who is correct. If it somehow ends up being a hidden code, then you’ll apologize to Robin’s ears later.
It’s quiet in the parlor after that, but when Steve and Robin have finished closing and he pulls the gate down to lock up the store before you all go home, Steve can’t help but bring the subject up again. “I mean–it’s just, it can’t be right.”
“It’s right.” Robin affirms once more, and Dustin nods at her appreciatively.
“Honesty, I think it’s great news.”
Steve walks next to you as the four of you slowly head towards the mall’s exit. It’s late, you’re tired from your long day of translating the Russian language, and you’re ready to go to bed. Then, as if somehow knowing the exhaustion that weighs upon you, you feel Steve slip his hand into yours. His fingers are warm and the touch soothes you as he gently guides the two of you.
“How is this great news?” Steve asks your brother. “I mean, so much for being American heroes. It’s total nonsense.”
“The goal isn’t to be American heroes, dummy.” You chide, tugging at your hands to make sure he looks at you and listens. “We aren’t still going to follow this, are we?”
Dustin rolls his eyes at you both. “It’s not nonsense, it’s too specific and obviously a code. And yes we’re going to keep following this. We’re onto something, I can feel it!”
“All I feel right now is a crippling migraine forming,” you groan, rubbing at your temples.
Steve kisses your head in concern, feeling bad that he’s kept you out so late. However, he also really, really would love to become someone important. Someone worthy of his dad’s favor, so he follows after Dustin, curious despite it all. “What do you mean a code?”
“Like a super secret spy code.”
“That’s a total stretch.”
You snort. “That’s what I said, but no. Why should we ever listen to Y/N? It’s not like she’s always right in the end.”
Robin winces, afraid to annoy you further, but she can’t help but agree with Dustin. “I don’t know, is it really a stretch?”
“No, please don’t tell me you believe my brother.” You’re betrayed, hurt even, that Robin would succumb to Dustin’s fantasies.
Normally you’re all for believing your brother, but Russians in Hawkins leaving a hidden code in a radio frequency that can be accessed by the public? You may have fought alternate dimension monsters and you may know a girl with mind control powers, but even this feels far fetched.
“Listen, just for kicks, let’s entertain the possibility that it is a secret Russian transmission. What’d you think they were gonna say, ‘fire the warhead at noon’?” Robin raises her eyebrows at you.
“Well… no.” You slump your shoulders, knowing that she has a point. “But–”
“Just admit we’re right, Y/N.” Dustin says, annoyed.
Robin turns to you and almost groans when she sees your hand intertwined with Steve’s. Her voice falters for a moment at the sight, but she clears her throat and carries on with the conversation. “And my translation is correct. I know that for sure, so… ‘the silver cat feeds’. Why would anyone talk like that unless they’re trying to mask the meaning of their message?”
Dustin is next to her now, hanging onto her every word as you and Steve lag behind. “Exactly!”
“It is a weird phrase,” you mumble under your breath, and Steve can’t help but chuckle at how endearing you are when you try to play the reasonable role. It’s never any use, you’re everything that hope and optimism embodies; it’s adorable.
Robin sees that you’re close to giving in and begins to ramble now. “Why would anyone mask the true meaning of their message unless the message was somehow sensitive?” Again Dustin agrees with everything she says and Steve shrugs his shoulders while all you do is sigh in defeat. Looking at your brother, Robin concludes, “Guess that confirms your suspicions.”
“Evil Russians.”
“Okay, no.” You step between them now. “What if they’re just, like, really shy Russians who want some privacy? Why do we always jump to the evil conclusion?”
Dustin shoulders you to get you to shut up, and you shove him back, starting a small spat between the two of you. He hits your shoulder, you hit his stomach, and Steve watches with amusement while Robin stares in horror.
“Do we stop them?” She asks the teen.
Steve shakes his head. “I’ve learned that it’s best to just let them fight it out. It’s been a month, they’re behind on their fist fighting schedule.”
“I heard that!” You quickly say to him before yanking Dustin’s shirt to get him off of your back.
Seeing your struggle, Robin forces your brother off of you and holds him by his arms so that he doesn’t jump on you again. Dustin complains, but quickly shuts up at what Robin says. “Focus! I’m trying to tell you that I agree with you, this is totally evil Russians.”
Dustin stops struggling against her, now elated at the idea of defeating evil foreigners. “So how do we crack it?”
You were scared that Robin and Dustin wouldn’t get along, but as you watch them bounce schemes off of one another and plan an evil Russian take down, you’re now terrified of the friendship brewing between them. It’s worse than Steve with Dustin; Robin is just as cunning as your brother is.
She thinks for a moment. “I guess we translate the rest and hopefully a pattern emerges.”
“Have we ever considered a game plan for after poking our noses where they don’t belong?” Dustin and Robin both glare at you and you hold your hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying.”
“Ignore her, Robin. She likes to pretend she’s the rational one in these types of situations.” Dustin whispers to her, which you roll your eyes at. Steve kisses your cheek as a way to console you as your brother continues to speak. “Anyways, maybe the ‘silver cat’ is a meeting place?”
“Or a person.” Robin theorizes.
“Or a weapon.”
As the two of them come up with insane theories about what the code could mean, you notice that Steve is no longer by your side. Turning around, you find him stopped at one of the carousel horses meant for little kids. He’s bent over it, examining it. You frown, unsure what he’s doing, and walk over to him.
Resting a hand against his back, you lean down next to him. “Can I ask what we’re looking at here, honey?” He’s mumbling under his breath and digging through his pockets for something. Now you’re starting to get concerned. “Steve?”
“I need–do you have a quarter?”
“No?” You’re even more concerned now. Placing the back of your hand against his forehead, you check his temperature. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Sure you’re tall enough for that ride?” Robin quips as she and Dustin now join.
“Quarter!” Steve demands, nearly falling over as he tries to catch the one that she tosses him. When he catches it he quickly pushes the coin into the machine’s slot, bringing it to life. Music begins to play as the horse moves back and forth. It’s ominous, almost, in the mall’s dim lighting with no one else around.
Steve listens intently to the music, his face concentrated as if trying to understand something. As the music continues to play, you can’t help but feel that it sounds familiar. It reminds you of something, maybe a distant memory that you can’t quite recall. Wanting to understand more, you lean in close to the machine as well and mirror Steve’s actions. “The music…”
“They’ve both lost it,” Dustin mumbles when he sees that you’re also now analyzing a stupid carousel horse.
“Y/N, you helping little Stevie up onto the ride?” Robin laughs at her own joke, but you swat at her to shush her.
As the song plays once more, it finally clicks. Your mind flashes back to your conversation with him earlier in the break room as you kept replaying the Russian recording over and over again. It’s the same song. With a gasp, you throw your arms around Steve’s neck and begin kissing his face over and over again. “You’re a genius!”
Steve leans into your kisses and smiles at the praise, relieved that you don’t think he’s some idiot. Though his heart is beating wildly, he clears his throat and shrugs as if it isn’t a big deal. “I have my moments.”
“Care to share with the class, dinguses?”
Robin’s voice startles you, having momentarily forgotten where you were. Blushing, you pull away from Steve and clear your throat as well and act as if you weren’t just drowning the boy in kisses. “Listen to the song, guys.”
The seriousness of your tone causes Dustin to finally listen to the music as well. It only takes him a few seconds to piece together what you and Steve already have. “Holy shit. The music.”
“The music.” You confirm with pride, still incredibly amazed that Steve managed to remember such a small yet crucial detail. Since coming to befriend him, you’ve come to admire just how perceptive he is. Sure, he may not be a math whiz, but his emotional and creative intelligence leaves you in awe every time you see it. He’s smarter than anyone gives him credit for.
You wish his father saw this intelligence within him. Honestly, you wish more people did.
Dustin yanks his backpack off of his shoulder and starts rustling through it as he searches for something. When he finds his tape recorder, he starts to play the Russian transmission again. Hearing the audio and carousel play simultaneously side by side, it only confirms what Steve has long since figured out: it’s the same song.
Not being able to help yourself, you again kiss Steve’s cheek, giddy and proud of him. “You’re brilliant.”
He preens while Robin scrunches her nose, unsure why you’re all over the guy because of some song. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s the exact same song on the recording.” Dustin explains to her.
“Maybe they have horses like this in Russia?”
You nod at her. “Maybe? We should look into who produces these machines, it could be our new lead.”
Steve shakes his head. “‘Indiana Flyer’? I don’t… I don’t think so.”
Something seems to shift within his voice and his face now twists with slight fear. He looks as if he’s realized something awful, and you feel your own joy from earlier vanish. A chill runs through you, the same awful feeling of dread that once overwhelmed you when Will originally disappeared now courses through you again.
“What is it?” You softly ask Steve, already bracing yourself for the worst.
He frowns at the apprehension in your voice and the worried crease between his brows makes you want to smooth away the concern. You know he doesn’t want to scare you, that he’s always trying to make things easier for you, so you tilt your head at him and nod slightly; you want him to tell you. Seeing your unspoken permission, he sighs. “This code, it… didn’t come from Russia. It came from here.”
You, Robin, and Dustin all look at one another. Fear settles over the group, you can feel its heavy weight like an old, familiar friend.
“Why does everything happen in Hawkins?” You say to no one in particular, still trying to process what this all means.
Dustin sighs and Steve drops his head.
Somehow, you always end up here.
Steve offers to drive you and Dustin home after seeing how shaken up you are by the latest Russian revelation. Tired and exhausted and terrified as usual, you accept.
It takes some trial and error, but eventually he and your brother manage to fit your bikes in the back of the BMW.
The drive to your house is filled with awkward banter between Steve and Dustin. You sit quietly in the passenger seat as the two boys try to make light of the situation, but not even their jokes can lessen the fear that creeps into the car; none of you are sure what to make of all of this.
When Steve pulls up to your house, all that you’ve managed to do the entire car ride is make a mental note to call Jonathan about everything later. It’s not your best plan, you wish that there was more you could do, but at the very least you know that he and Nancy can help.
Dustin scrambles out of the car, desperate to escape the tension within it. “See you tomorrow, Steve!” He calls behind him before slamming the car door shut.
You snort softly at your brother, finally moving to unbuckle your own seatbelt, before Steve places his hand on yours and stops you. He’s noticed how quiet you’ve been the entire car ride and the way your eyes have clouded over with fear. He hates it. “Do me a favor?”
“Yes?” You blink at him, unsure what he could want at this hour. It’s late and your mom expects you home soon.
“Leave your window unlocked for me.” He winks at you, trying to play coy, but you see the genuine concern for you hidden beneath his actions.
You can’t help but smile; it feels as if you can breathe again. “Steve Harrington, why should I leave my window unlocked for you?”
Your smile sends a warmth through Steve’s chest as relief washes over him. He’s doing something right. He’s gotten you to smile. “Because I’m planning on sneaking in after I park my car a few blocks down so your mom won’t see me.”
Though you know what he had been implying, hearing him say the words out loud causes a wild blush to burn across your cheeks and your stomach to swoop. Steve has never done this before, sneaking into your room like some lovestruck teenager late at night, it’s been the one boundary neither of you have crossed before.
“I suppose I can do that.” You say with an air of indifference, which Steve rolls his eyes at. “Strictly friendly, of course.”
“Oh, of course.”
You giggle, finally unbuckling your seatbelt, and you exit the car after kissing the boy’s cheek. His face is warm against your lips and you’re coming to memorize the way your nose presses against the indent of his cheek bones.
When you get inside, your mom is knitting on the couch while Tews sits in her lap. She greets you with a smile and you compliment the scarf she’s making. “I’m sure it’ll be perfect for this winter, mom.”
She thanks you and wishes you a good night, noticing the bags underneath your eyes with slight concern. Inside your room, you quickly clear away the scattered pieces of paper on your desk and arrange your bedding so that it isn't strewn across the room. Steve has been in your room a million times now, and yet you can’t help but feel like tonight is different for some reason.
True to his word, within ten minutes Steve is knocking on your window. Hearing the quiet way his knuckles rap against the glass makes your heart jump in your stomach. Your body practically buzzes as you go to open the window, eager to have him close to you.
“Took you long enough,” you tease, opening the window wide enough for him to crawl through.
Steve pulls himself up with ease, his biceps strain against his Scoops Ahoy uniform, and you’ve never been more thankful for corporate policy. “Sorry, angel. Came here as fast as I could.”
You tug at his shirt and the two of you are falling into your bed. He lands on you with a soft thud and your body has long since become accustomed to his weight. As his body settles upon yours, it feels like coming home. You exhale deeply, wrapping your arms around his body, and Steve nuzzles his face into your neck and presses a gentle kiss there.
Everything swirling violently within your head now stills. The constant onslaught of worries and doubts finally quiets, and you know that despite it all, at least you have Steve.
“We’ll figure it out, ya know.” Steve’s lips move against the skin of your neck as he speaks, making you shiver slightly at the sensation.
“I know,” you start to play with his hair, needing something to do with your hands as you speak. “But… How many times are we going to keep doing this? Be the only people in Hawkins aware of what’s going on?”
Steve is silent for a few moments, allowing your words to sink in. He rolls them around in his head, he knows that the question isn’t one that comes from doubt of what he and the others are capable of. You don’t lack faith, you lack the willingness to constantly place the ones you love at risk. It just isn’t in your nature.
“As many times as needed.” He pauses again, unsure how to express to you his certainty that you’re capable of so much with all the love within you. If there’s anyone in this shitty town who is a real American hero, it’s you. “I mean, after everything we’ve been through these last two years, measly Russians are no big deal. We’ve fought worse monsters than Communism.”
You laugh, he always somehow gets you to laugh, and the sound is as angelic to Steve as your eyes are to him. He tightens his arms around you and relishes in the way your body presses against his, how he can feel your body move with every inhale of your laugh.
Then, slowly, your laughter dies down. Reality settles upon you once more and you want to believe Steve, you do, and you try to reassure yourself that he’s right… but something feels off about this. You can’t exactly articulate what it is, but there's this haze of uncertainty that you’ve never quite felt before; a vulnerability that leaves you feeling cold in his arms.
Sensing your fear rising up again, Steve tries to distract you by changing the subject. “Speaking of monsters, I recruited the little heathens to help with your birthday gift.”
The change of subject works. You raise your head and look at the teen. “You mean the party? You got them to help with a gift for me?”
“Don’t sound so surprised, Y/N.” Steve butts his head against your chin playfull. “I can make them listen to me… sometimes.”
You stare at him, knowing he’s full of shit. “Go on, tell me all about how you got them to listen to you.”
He tries to hold your gaze, refusing to back down, but he cracks after only a few seconds. “Okay, fine. It took a lot of pleading and I now owe a bunch of pre-teens money.”
A loud, full body laugh escapes your lips, and Steve laughs with you. The two of you hold one another and feel each other laugh, chests rising with glee. For a moment you feel okay again, forgetting everything else for now. You’re carefree in this moment, feeling like a little kid again, something only Steve can do to you.
When your laughs die down, you and Steve quietly lay together. No other words manage to find their way in the dark of your room, all that needs to be said has been laid to rest. His warm breaths hit the base of your neck as your nails scratch against his scalp. While you feel safe in his arms, there’s still so much that needs to be said.
Staring at the ceiling of your room, you see faint threads and strings and lines that you thought you put to rest that night in Jonathan’s room this winter. Now, they’re back again, only this time it’s a different boy within your arms. Something akin to doubt creeps in.
Steve already has all of you, you told him you’d wait, but what if you’ve missed your chance again with him like you did with Jonathan? When June began, Steve promised that you had all summer together. He calls you angel and tells you stories to fall asleep to on the phone, and yet the threads that glow above you taunt you.
You love him, you do, but you’re terrified that whatever the two of you uncover with the Russians will somehow pry you apart.
Just like Will’s disappearance had pried Jonathan away from you two years ago.
July looms over you and summer is going by faster than you thought it would. The promise of summer, one that usually leaves the nostalgic taste of honey on your tongue, now threatens to choke you.
As if having a mind of their own, your arms tighten even more around Steve, almost as if somehow you can shield what the two of you have from the dangers within Hawkins.
You hope it’s enough.
-
⌑ series masterlist
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⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3
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aealzx · 3 months ago
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Prologue | AO3
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Despite not being comatose anymore, Danny’s health still wasn’t the greatest. After getting introductions for who everyone was they had started to explain to him what had happened. Only for him to fall asleep again before they got very far. After being assured by Bruce and Leslie that it was normal for those who had been in a coma to not be able to stay awake very long in the beginning, the others had found ways to entertain themselves while letting him rest more. When he woke up again hours later they let him orient himself again before trying to pick up where they’d left off. They had to repeat the same sequence again two more times before they got through the entire two months worth of events.
The hardest part of catching Danny up on everything had been admitting they didn’t know what had happened to Maddie and Jack. During the third time of being awake Danny had asked where they were, being confused why they hadn’t shown up to see him yet despite everything. And when Jazz had finally admitted it was because they weren’t there, and they didn’t even know if they were okay, Danny had panicked slightly. If he’d been in better health Jazz knew she wouldn’t have been able to stop him from running out into the city to try and find them himself. Yet at this point he couldn’t even push himself upright without help, and changing forms or even floating seemed impossible. Which had left him collapsed in Jazz’s lap, sobbing, “You don’t get it, Jazz! None of this matters at ALL if the people I care about aren’t alive! That includes mom and dad! None of this matters if they’re not okay too!”
Jazz knew that Danny really only fought to keep certain people happy. He’d protect everyone, sure. But the reason he kept going, the only real motivation he had for throwing himself in harm's way all the time, was to protect his friends and family. He did a lot of crazy heroic things, but he didn’t want to be some big time famous hero like she had learned Batman and Superman were. It was hard to not be able to tell him that he hadn’t failed. Only Sam, Tucker, and Danielle had been able to get him to calm down by reminding him how resilient Jack and Maddie were. Despite all the fights they got in, it was very rare that those two got hurt. So odds were they were still just fine after this disaster too. It had been enough to calm him down at least enough to stop crying, and allow himself to rest more. But his words still rang in Jazz’s head the next day.
Throughout the days Leslie was present more, checking Danny’s vitals, drawing a little more blood for another panel, bringing him room temperature water to sip in the afternoon. She strangely didn’t try to get Danny to eat anything until the next day. When Jazz asked about it Leslie had explained that while Danny definitely needed to eat again, there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to handle it just yet. While the cryo stasis had helped him not deteriorate as much as anyone else would have over a two month coma, he still had. He was underweight, malnourished, and easily fatigued. And that included his digestive system. She tried to help by giving Danny another vitamin IV with a slightly different formula. But even with that the first time she’d let him try eating two plain crackers he’d ended up throwing up less than an hour later.
That was when Bruce happened to come check on them. With the biggest hurdles for now having been taken care of, most of his kids had gone back to their own homes, as they usually did. It was hard to keep them around for more than a few days, and while there was still the task of getting these displaced kids back home they all knew that could wait until Danny was feeling better. Especially after learning through bits and pieces of information that there was a government team back there that would just love to hunt him down the first chance they got. So with Duke and Damian currently at school that left the house rather empty, and Bruce found himself taking charge of checking on their visitors. He had learned a lot about them in the past two days. The kids were obviously used to helping patch Danny back up, without the help of any adults. But they still relied on Danny being okay to feel secure. Danny was the one that protected them. Danny was the one they relied on being okay to judge whether or not everything else was okay. When Danny was cracking jokes the others were at ease. But when Danny couldn’t force himself to reassure them, there was a harsh spike in their anxiety. And usually Jazz was the one that took charge, trying to keep them all calm and reassured.
It was an unfair, but understandable situation that didn’t allow for Danny to truly rest. And that was what motivated Bruce to enter the room and approach the kids this time, stopping by the connected bathroom to grab a soft towel first. Jazz was once again the only one sitting on the bed while the other three hovered nearby, waiting to be directed. Her hands were on Danny’s back and arm as he was curled over the bucket Leslie had made sure was left just in case, coughing and half heaving despite there being nothing left in his stomach. Bruce couldn’t imagine how much stress it must be to have an audience, so decided the first thing he’d do would be to get the others to disperse. When he raised his hand to Tucker’s shoulder he couldn’t blame Tucker for jumping in startle.
“D’dude! You scared me,” Tucker protested shakily.
“He’ll be alright,” Bruce chose to assure instead of apologizing for inevitably sneaking up on the kids. “Can you three go work with Alfred to find a change of clothes and bedding?”
The three almost jumped on being given something to do, a series of affirmatives before they scurried from the room. Bruce sent Alfred a text to request he keep the three of them occupied for a while then knelt down next to the bed and offered the towel to Danny. It seemed his stomach had decided to stop throwing a fit for now, and as Danny took the towel and buried his face in it Bruce relocated the bucket to the nightstand. He didn’t need to wipe his entire face, but from that angle Bruce hadn’t missed the tears, and realized Danny was hiding.
“Jazz, can you join the others?” Bruce requested on Danny’s behalf. “And find Leslie to help waterproof his injuries so he can have a bath?” Not only would that give Danny some time away from the others, but he actually really needed one too. A fact Bruce realized when he’d reached up to help pull Danny’s hair out of his face. He’d probably feel a little better after getting fully cleaned up for once too.
Jazz seemed reluctant to leave, but at least seemed to know when her presence was a detriment more than comfort. She knew her brother well, and after leaning down to give Danny a peck on the head and whisper a quick ‘I love you’ she headed out the door.
“...Am I even allowed to have a bath?” Danny’s question came after he was sure Jazz was gone, raising his head and looking and sounding as miserable and pathetic as he probably felt.
“Of course you are,” Bruce assured, using his thumb to brush away another tear that escaped when Danny blinked. “We’ll just have to waterproof your injuries and IV site. But then you should be fine to take one for as long as you want.”
“...Really?”
“Yes.”
The idea of getting some time to himself was welcomed, but after realizing what he was thinking Danny’s expression crumpled again, and Bruce had to raise a little to catch him as we swayed. He was a little surprised when Danny actually curled into him then, his form shaking.
“Sorry,” Danny whimpered, and Bruce couldn’t keep himself from gathering the boy up in a tight hug. “...I’m not okay.”
That sounded like it had been incredibly hard to say, and Bruce had to wonder if it was something someone had been working on with him. He’d heard from Jason that it was relatively recent that Danny’s parents even knew what he was, let alone what he’d been going through. Perhaps one of them had been the one to talk him into letting them know when he wasn’t doing well.
“...I know,” Bruce responded quietly as he moved to sit on the bed and pull Danny into a ball. Everyone knew Danny wasn’t doing well physically. But Bruce knew he wasn’t just talking about that part of his health this time. “You’re going to be okay though.”
It felt good to be held by someone he didn’t have to protect. Someone that he didn’t have to pretend he knew what he was doing for. Act like he was just fine and nothing fazed him. It had been something he had just started getting after his parents got involved with all aspects of his life, and he hadn’t realized how much he would miss it until they weren’t there to give him that comfort. Jazz had a habit of calling out the fact that he was just a kid, but she was too, and couldn’t quite give him what he needed. But Bruce was an adult. And someone who seemed to have also lived through similar injuries. Hearing him say he’d be alright felt like a stated fact instead of just a confident reassurance.
It didn’t take long for Leslie to arrive and expertly shoo Jazz away again to help Alfred with the others. She wasn’t surprised at all to hear that Danny had thrown up, and instead just assured him he was going to be okay, and to think of it like having the stomach flu. The comparison did wonders in helping Danny calm down more, to the point he was only sniffling quietly as she took care of dressing his wounds in a waterproof covering.
“Don’t scrub too hard on the edges of the bandages when you’re washing up, okay?” Leslie directed while rubbing the said edges of the last bandage she was placing around his arm to encase the temporarily detached IV. She’d taken some time to clean the sites that would be covered so Danny would be able to feel completely clean after his bath, and was pleased to see he was healing a lot faster now that he wasn’t in some sort of stasis mode. She wouldn’t be surprised if his wounds were completely healed by the end of next week at this rate.
Danny gave a small hum in acknowledgement, understanding that he couldn’t break the seal if the bandages were going to work properly. The desire for an actual bath was strong enough that he was willing to comply with their conditions, even if it meant he had to have Bruce in the bathroom with him, just in case. It made sense considering he couldn’t go to the toilet on his own just yet, but at least Bruce had promised to stay facing towards the door as long as he could. He also had his phone with him to work on his own projects, so wouldn’t even try to get Danny to talk to him.
It was exhausting, but Danny also didn’t realize just how much it would feel good to be clean. To not have his scalp itch, and skin feel like a layer of grime was coating it. And also just to lounge in the warm water, in the silence and almost complete isolation. He was there for a little over an hour - dang fancy rich people's tubs and their ability to keep the water just right - before it became uncomfortably apparent he wasn’t just imagining the aching starting to get worse. Which led him to reluctantly using his foot to nudge the plug out to allow the water to drain and reaching out to knock his hand against Bruce’s shoulder.
“Done already?” Bruce asked easily, glancing over his shoulder halfway.
“Morphine is wearing off,” Danny admitted with a grimace, resting against the side of the tub.
“Ah,” Bruce nodded in unfortunate complete understanding, turning his phone screen off and tucking it into his pocket while grabbing the towel and soft robe to hand to Danny. “Let me know if you need help.”
Danny hummed once again to acknowledge what was said, but stubbornly took care of at least getting the bathrobe on himself on his own once the water had drained. Unfortunately he had to ask for help to get out of the tub, still too weak to lift himself up or stand. But Bruce didn’t react differently towards this than if Danny had simply asked for help opening a jar or something. It was nice.
Alfred had already brought a pair of soft pajama pants and fluffy socks when he’d returned to change the bedding as well. And once Danny was dressed Bruce had carried him back to the edge of the bed where Leslie could double check that the bandages had worked, get the IV reattached and another dose of morphine going. He found he was so worn out from the simple task, but also found that once the morphine did its job taking away the aches and pain he did feel a lot better than before. Enough that Duke pausing in the doorway while returning home from school didn’t make him feel too wary.
“Oh- First post injury bath?” Duke asked, pointing a finger at Danny as he noticed the bathrobe on the bed and Danny’s still damp hair. When Bruce nodded, Duke grinned. “Nice! Those always feel amazing somehow. You should take him to the couch next.”
“The couch?” Danny couldn’t help asking. Was it just the family room couch or something different?
“In the study. It’s quiet in there, and being stuck in bed sucks,” Duke explained. “I bet he was actually already planning on taking you there. After living here I came to find out Bruce is actually really good at helping people feel better. Even though he’s not perfect, no one is, he still makes a nice dad-”
“Duke,” Bruce interrupted, a slight scowl hiding his embarrassment. “Make sure you have enough time to finish your homework before patrol.”
Other people may have been put off by the glower, but Duke just laughed. “Sure sure. I’ll meet you in the study?”
It took Danny a moment to realize Duke was talking to him, and couldn’t keep his shoulders from drooping. He didn’t really want to entertain people yet, he was already feeling physically drained on top of emotionally.
Surprisingly Duke picked up on the mood easily. “I’ll keep quiet. Promise. But trust me when I say it’s really nice,” he offered, easily picking up Danny’s anti-social vibes.
“...Sure. We can try,” Danny accepted, figuring he could at least attempt the idea since Duke didn’t seem to want to spend the time talking.
It was just a few more minutes for Leslie to finish giving him another routine checkup and add an anti nausea patch behind his ear before allowing Bruce to pick him up again. Danny inevitably felt tiny as Bruce was able to carry him with just one arm, leaving the other free to bring the IV pole with them. But he found he didn’t mind. It had only been two days of him being awake in that bedroom, but Danny found getting to leave the room was nice. The study was quite a ways down the hall, and when they reached it Alfred was already there.
“I’ve provided the usual snacks for Master Duke and Master Damian. There’s also a thermos of warm broth that Dr. Thompkins has approved for Master Danny to try if he’s up for it. I will continue to keep the rest of the children occupied until supper,” Alfred informed, bringing their attention to the mentioned food on the low table in front of the very plush couch.
“Thank you Alfred,” Bruce responded simply, heading further in the room to get settled.
There was a fire crackling gently in the fireplace, keeping the room pleasantly warm despite the autumn chill outside. There was already a slight frost on the windows, but the glass was the only thing that reflected that cold. All the colors of the room were warm, and the faux fur blanket Bruce grabbed to help bundle Danny up in only increased the cozy feeling the room had. It was quiet, as Duke had said, and comfortable. Even when Duke and Damian joined them to work on their homework they rarely spoke. And when they did it was in low voices, and to each other about their homework or school day.
Danny had accepted being brought there with the thought that he’d have to end up asking to go back to the bedroom later. But after having spent some time quietly looking around the room his gaze had settled on watching the fire. And slowly the crackle of the wood, soft scratch of pens and pencils, rustling of paper and quiet taps of technology muddled into a soft haze. Eventually Danny’s eyes drooped closed as the soft sounds and comforting warmth became a lullaby coaxing him to sleep. 
Duke was right. The couch was pretty nice.
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This entire chapter was unplanned X'DD but I ain't complaining.
Bruce was as hard to draw as Dick was 8 | my art style is too cute coded for these rugged american comic characters.
Also I am extremely distracted translating a manga that not available in english just so I can know the story |D updates might be a little slower.
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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @megacharizardx99
@bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai, 
@fanaroff, @raven1508, @nebulainajar, @serasvictoria02, @oliocelottafanfics,
@honeysuckletook, @omniithe-deer, @wolf-under-the-stars, @gingernutcalo, @that-random-fangirl,
@op-sys-chaos, @kirasigncomics, @ehobep, @paranoid-ira
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semisolidmind · 10 months ago
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So, in your college au, assuming catnap does end up murdering y/n, why? for what reason would the prototype ask for y/n's execution?, also how would dogday and the others feel? does dogday ever find out who murdered y/n or if he was even murdered? are they just reported missing? does catnap get away with it?, and if he doesn't and dogday ends up finding out, what's his reaction towards his brother's actions? Sorry if this was long I got questions and they need answers😭
ive been thinking about it, and i think that the prototype (which is a demonic entity in this au) wouldn't really have a good reason to command catnap kill y/n.
y/n is good to catnap. you'll see after i finally draw him, but cat is skinny. mans forgets to feed himself, and the red smoke drug throws his mindfulness and metabolism all outta wack. y/n, good friend that they are, reminds catnap to eat. they'll bring him food that they make. they let him "steal" food from their plate at lunch time. (dogday, being a good brother, does these things too, but it's kinda his job so it doesn't make as big of an impact).
the "angel" is keeping his executioner functioning when he can't, so the prototype shouldn't have a reason to want them dead. unless, perhaps, he thought that they were making the executioner soft. that's not the case (he does his job just fine regardless of any growing attachments), but if it were and catnap was slacking...
the prototype would take over. he'd have his acolytes send catnap a very high dosage of the red smoke drug, allowing the demon to take hold of him fully. catnap would black out.
the next morning, he startles awake in bed to the sound of his brother's cry of anguish. he goes into the kitchen to see dogday clutching his phone to one ear, hunched over and crying. the canid can't speak through his tears for a long while. catnap stands awkwardly, waiting for him to speak as the dread creeps up his spine.
catnap's heart stops with dogday's stuttered admission of what has him so upset; y/n is dead. the police found them this morning.
the feline says nothing, does nothing, but feels the sting in his eyes, tears on his face, and the impact of his brother's arms solidly embracing him.
why...why would the prototype do this? there was no reason to kill the angel, they hadn't done anything wrong, they weren't in the way, hadn't crossed him, there shouldn't have...
he doesn't understand.
when he goes to the bathroom later to freshen up, catnap notices the small flecks of blood under his claws. he feels like throwing up.
but he doesn't. he washes the blood away, and leaves the bathroom.
catnap remains as silent as he always has. he says nothing when he and dogday are inevitably questioned by the police (as two people who were close to y/n), the grief (and the prototype's voice) rendering him unable to even write out a response. they let him go, accepting his alibi. he was home all evening, of course.
he attends the funeral in a daze. he stands and watches the casket be lowered into the ground, far away from his body. he can still feel the fog of the prototype's influence hovering in the back of his mind.
for the first time in a long time, catnap's faith in his god is shaken.
———
dogday is never the same after y/n's death. the light in his eyes is gone. after the funeral, he isolates himself, only leaving to attend class and complete errands. he barely speaks to his friends, though they continue to visit him and offer their support.
eventually, each of the critters is murdered by catnap at the behest of the prototype. these murders are completed by a much colder and less caring catnap, who, after y/n's death, has no mercy left to spare (the prototype takes advantage of his vessels' grief to take further control of him).
dogday's reaction to each death becomes angrier and angrier.
he's wanted to find the killer ever since the string of murders started, but now he's searching with a single-minded purpose.
he gets better at wielding a pistol, better at wielding a hunting knife...he takes self defense and fighting classes. dogday slowly turns himself into a weapon.
dogday finally figures out where the cult is hiding. an abandoned mine system in a nature reserve a short drive away from town, converted into a "holy site" and the place where the cult sacrifices their victims. he drives out there to confront their executioner.
when he finds out that it's catnap, his own little brother...it's too late for sentimentality. his friends are gone. the love of his life is gone. countless others have lost their lives to this... this thing wearing his brother's skin.
at this point, the prototype has almost fully possessed catnap. the transference into the felines' body is almost complete, and during this time he is most vulnerable...but still incredibly powerful.
the fight between the dog and cat is climactic and bloody. a clash of claws, knives, and a struggle for dogday's gun. the forest floor beneath the struggle is spattered with blood, both men covered in open wounds.
it's a close battle, but catnap, despite being nearly fully under the prototype's influence, breaks the hold long enough to allow himself to be killed.
it's the least he can do, after all the trouble he's caused.
dogday pulls the trigger. a clean shot through the heart. killing catnap kills the prototype.
dogday glares down at the body that once housed his little brother. there is nothing of him in the battered corpse before him now... aside from the small, satisfied smile on his muzzle.
dogday finally allows himself to break down. he sobs over the many great losses he's suffered. but...but he has to get out of there. the cult members will be there any minute, and he can't be there when they do. he calls from a campsite phone booth to report catnap's body, and leaves it in the woods.
dogday does his best to recover.
months pass. with their god dead, activity from the cult peters out.
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petriwriting · 2 months ago
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Always (By your side) - JJ Maybank X Reader
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Request here
From the moment JJ was stabbed, you had been by his side. You were there when John B and pope helped drag him to the hospital, and you were there as the doctors rushed by his side. He needed an emergency surgery, and you sat right outside the door the entire time, hours passed. The pogues were just as stressed as you were, but despite Sarah and Kie's effort to get you to eat something or rest, you insisted on staying there. You had to know that JJ would be okay. You couldn't eat or sleep until you knew he was. 
Finally, after hours of surgery and doctors prepping a small room for him, you were able to see him. He was covered in dirt from the sand storm, The doctors had his abdomen bandaged and he was hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV of fluids. You sat in the only chair in the room, right by his side once again. 
Everyone was hell bent on revenge, and the pogues had gotten a hostel room to stay in. You had fallen asleep next to JJ, the doctors said he would wake up any minute and begin his recovery but you didn't want to miss it. Even when the others offered to look after him in shifts so that he wasn't alone when he woke up, you declined and stayed with him anyway. You appreciated the company and reassurance of your friends though. It was sweet. As you lay with your arms folded on the side of his bed and your head turned towards him, your chest rising and falling softly. 
Because of your exhaustion, you were fast asleep when JJ woke up. He groaned softly and put his hand on yours, pulling you out of a light sleep. you gasped and pushed your chair closer to him. "Hi." he smiles weakly, his hair is a mess and his eyes are hazy, probably from the pain medicine. "Jayj," you say softly, holding his hand. "Fuck that hurts," he grit his teeth and winced. "Take it easy," you encouraged. "You really scared me." you admit softly, tears flowing from your eyes as if on cue. you sob softly, wiping your tears away. "Hey, you couldn't get rid of me that easily." he jokes. you smile softly, holding his hand to your face. 
"How do you feel?" you ask him gently. "Like I just took a shit ton of morphine." He says he can't laugh without pain, so he chuckles as gently as he is able. "I'm sorry. Just lay back and rest." you ordered. "I'll let the others know." he holds your hand, you are unable to move he tightens his grip. "Hey," he says, his voice is hoarse and tired. "I love you." he says. you smile again. "I love you, J." you say, leaning down to kiss his forehead softly before stepping outside the room to let the others know he is awake and that he's ok. 
John B is the first to rush in there, and then kie followed by pope. Cleo and Sarah stay with you for a moment in the waiting room. "Hey, Y/N." Sarah says gently. "Why don't you go back to the hostel, you must be exhausted." she urges. Cleo nodded in agreement, "We need ya to stay strong." Cleo adds. "JJ would want you happy n' healthy." you bit your lip and then nodded. they were right. you hadn't left JJ's side in days, and he was going to be okay. The doctors said so, you just wanted to be there when he woke up to make sure he was actually okay. "Yeah you're right." you admit, defeated. you knew they understood, and if it were John B Sarah would be in the same boat. they were understanding and kind to you. The love of your life was stabbed by his father, it wasn't exactly a happy feeling, it was traumatic. But you were happy you weren't going through it all alone.
"Hey, where's Rafe?" you asked before walking off. He was sort of new to the group so it was no wonder you wanted to know where he was. Sarah sighed. "He has a plan for revenge. He's out piecing things together." she said. 
It was interesting, but you wanted revenge. If you ever saw Chandler Groff again you would take revenge on him for nearly killing the love of your life. 
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iid-smile · 6 months ago
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Hiii, I know this is probably a weird request and if it's triggering or just something you'd not want to write I totally understand!!! Just was thinking if you could write Nanami or Toji with a s/o who's always had their family manage their eating in an obsessive way so they sometimes have trouble with it and their weight. And they'd help them through it???
If not it's totally okayy, I also love your work a lot hust wanted to swoop that in here🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Lots of lovee
perfect portion , fushiguro toji
x gn!reader , toji swearing, cw: mentions of scales, weight, not eating enough, body image, and food.
author's note: i decided to go with toji (which was very much a struggle) since i thought i had enough of nanami on my page (its a love hate relationship at this point) but if you want him instead, or don't like this one (i dont like it either because i clearly gave up at the end) slide in again and i'll deliver just for you!!!! 🫵😤 also i didn't proofread because i pushed through my writers block for this
thank you for your love anon! 🫶 i hope you enjoy!
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the jingling of keys in the distance was a sign that toji finally came home. you could hear his heavy footsteps walking around the house, before coming towards the bedroom where you lay on the bed.
after opening the door, he lets out a sigh. "stay awake for me, sugar. 'm gonna order us pizza." his voice is barely comprehensible from his mumbles, but since it's such a common phrase, you understand what he says.
"oh..." your voice lightens and a short, near sheepish chuckle comes from you. "no, no thanks. i think ive had enough meals today."
he so obviously screws his face from what you said, not that you're looking, and he drops off a few belongings that were in his pockets onto the dresser before glancing over his shoulder. "what?"
in surprise, you look up from your phone. yes, sometimes toji could be a bit pushy with what he wants, but you're sure that the way you said no was obvious that you did not want to be convinced about it. did he not hear you right? "i said i ate enough today."
he scoffs, turning around to face you. "uh...no the fuck you didn't?"
"i did...? i'm sure i did. i told you."
"oh, come on. do you think i'm stupid now? is that it?"
"what?"
"i called you at three in the afternoon, and only then were you telling me you were having breaktast. you woke up way before me." he gestures over to the clock on the wall. "and look at the time. it's nine, and i only saw one dish in the sink."
"yeah. i ate."
"okay. fine, fine. i'll assume the best." he sighs in resignation, turning around and eyeing a piece of paper that he just now noticed was on the dresser. "and what the hell is this? what d'ya need these numbers for, huh?"
that was not supposed to be there for him to see. your eyebrows furrow, but you try to play off your tone as natural. "y'know... from the scale 'n stuff..."
"scale? what scale—? you bought a scale without telling me?"
mistake. well, your first mistake was not asking what he was actually referring to. he didn't notice that anyways, but your second was accidentally telling him that you bought a scale. "well, every house has one, don't they?"
toji was genuinely so flabbergasted to the point where he had to shake his head in disbelief. "not this one, no. because nobody needs one." his steps are obnoxiously loud as he approaches your side."hell, this isn't even about money anymore. why would you need a scale of all things?"
"..." his responses were fast. too fast, and faster than usual. it would've been easier if this was over text, but in person? it's ten times more difficult to think of an excuse. "because i need one." was the first one you thought of.
"who's been telling you to use a scale?"
"nobody..."
"nobody?"
"nobody."
"somebody, clearly. you think you just wake up one day, start writin' down your weight like it's important." he scrunches up the paper, tossing it off somewhere out of your sight. "it's fine, you look fine, and 'm ordering pizza because i want you to eat it."
"and i shouldn't—" you look down at your phone that you put down next to you at some point in the conversation, a notification flashing on the screen, but you weren't paying attention to that. you were looking at the time. around about now would you be getting a weight check...
"who the fuck's sayin' that? sayin' for you not to eat like that? 'cause it's not me." and he leans in closer to you. "so, who's tellin' you to use a scale?"
silence. long and loud. this was one of the last things you'd ever want to admit to him. he's a guy that's extremely proud of his strength, stays in great shape, unreal body proportions, and you're just... you. there's nothing special about you, about your appearance, about your body.
"listen, i won't do anything you don't want me to..." his face suddenly grows to look conflicted, and though the times he does are rare, he makes an effort to soften his voice. "tell me one thing. are you hungry?"
as much as you want to hesitate, as much as you want to put your foot down and say no, your stomach is telling you something different. you're more surprised that the entire time toji has been in a relationship with you, he hasn't heard how ungodly audible your stomach growls can really get. the urge is unstoppable; you just had to nod.
"then what are you waiting for? i'll order whatever you're craving." and out the bedroom he goes, making his way over to the house phone in the hallway. "if it would make you feel better, i'll eat the same amount as you do, so i can show you that it's okay. no more small portions for you."
"and if it makes me unhealthy? if i get sick?" you sound a little amused.
the tapping noises on the phone stops. toji didn't think about that part. "...i'll take you to the hospital. tell me what you want to eat 'n give me the takeout number."
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webslingingslasher · 1 year ago
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trouble waking peter up bc she’s horny… I stg he’s never been happier to be woken up
“blood, tears and fire only”? he’s gna have to add one more to the list
YES. IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG.
it’s like being so hungry, you wake up with a growling stomach. knots tied and pulled, gurgling for sustenance. this is a new kind of hungry, one that has you famished. you could eat alone, or, you could invite peter to the buffet.
you start gentle, he’ll be grumpy no matter what, but maybe this time he’d catch on to your desperate touches and connect the pieces. peter looks so peaceful when he sleeps, it’s like he turns off all thoughts from the outside world.
‘peter?’ taps on his arm, they turn into delicate pokes. ‘peter? are you up?’ you’re unsure of him moving away from you means yes, he still looks asleep. ‘yes? you’re awake?’
peter breathes deep, you start to feel guilty, but not enough to let him continue his slumber. ‘pst, peter. wake up, please.’ a light shake, it does enough, your touch is shook off.
‘leave me alone.’ his blanket is tugged under his chin, its risen over your head, you bat it off, peter blissfully reaching back into dream land.
‘no, wait.’ you’re met with a heavy sigh, ‘what’s the rule, trouble?’ you trace shapes on his shoulder, like a toddler, you recite his bedtime rules. ‘blood, tears, and fire only.’
‘do we have any of those?’
you’re so… hungry you could burst into tears. but, that’s not what peter asked. ‘no.’ a satisfied nod, ‘great. i’ll talk to you when the suns up.’ the blanket is forced over your head again, you shove it off, this time you’re met with a whiny ‘hey!’
‘i think we need to add another one into the rulebook.’ peter cracks an eye open, you’re too awake for his comfort. ‘what time is it?’ you look behind you, a flash of white on your screen. ‘two.’
‘jesus, trouble. what do we need to add?’ you blank, peter’s frustration shows. ‘c’mon, quickly.’ you roll to your back, ‘i’m… horny. really, really horny.’
a total one eighty from peter, suddenly he’s wide eyes and smiles. ‘oh! okay, yeah, sure, we can add that.’ you blink your eyes and in the short second peter rolled himself over to lay above you.
'what do you want? something quick or the full shebang?' you think he might have been sending you the graphic dream because he's just as, if not more, ready as you are. peter's tugging his, your shirt off while you move your hips around to make more room for him.
'um, i mean we can have sex, sure.' peter looks up at your face, he leans back slightly, the missing blanket makes you shiver. 'you don't sound sure.'
'it's kind of selfish, so, yeah. let's have sex.' you hum when peter wraps an arm around your hip and tugs you closer to him. 'what's selfish?' it's two in the morning and you woke him up from a dead sleep, you shouldn't push him any further.
'what i want. let's just have a quickie.' you reach for his boxers, your hand stings when it's slapped away. 'ow?' peter pushes past it, 'what do you want?'
you feel shy for a moment, it feels like you're using him, you want to ditch the whole thing. you went from overtly horny to guilty in a second. 'i don't know...' peter isn't playing your games, he leans in over you.
'i'm not asking again, trouble. what do you want?' meaning, if you won't tell him, he'll override the situation and shut it down. 'okay, okay. could you... please?' it helps nothing, you just hate asking for it.
peter might not be able to fill in the blanks, but he could pick up a hint. 'could i?' your hands rest on his shoulders, he questions you and you answer by gently pushing him away, pushing him... down.
'what are you... oh, are you? that's what you want?' you pull the comforter over his head, peter fights it off, his hair falls in tufts. 'don't lock me down there, it's dark and hot.' that was the complaint? he's not upset?
'you're not mad that i woke you up just to go down on me?'
'god, no.' kisses down your neck, 'what's the rule?'
you smile, 'blood, tears, fire, and sex only.'
'that's my girl.'
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icumpinkglitterxo · 6 months ago
Text
daddy 🎀
a/n: i sort of rushed this and idk if the smut is good or not...now that ive done a daddy slash fic. subby slash (aka biblically accurate slash) comes next 😈 enjoy ★
warnings: smut, thigh riding, fingering (f receiving), daddy kink, age gap, overstim, praise, aftercare :3
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You and London were friends. You were best friends, you knew each other because his dad, Slash, was best friends with your dad, Duff and you had been friends your whole lives. You and London hung out all the time, sometimes at your place with your sisters, Grace, and Mae, other times at his place where you would see Slash.
Slash would always welcome you into his home, and he would comfort you during the few times something made you upset around him. He took care of you. You couldn't deny your crush on Slash, but he was way older, so you tried your best to ignore it.
You were at London's, and you were both in his room watching a movie. This was quite a regular occurance. You would always plan to do something exciting, only to stay in eating take-out and watching movies.
Eventually, he started to get tired, so he turned it off and went to sleep.
Like always, he told you you could sleep in his bed with him or in the guest room. Neither of you minded which. You were both comfortable enough with each other that sharing a bed wasn't weird, and sometimes you both just preferred your own space, and neither of you were afraid to admit that.
Tonight, you were too lazy to go to the guest bedroom, but that became a problem when you couldn't sleep. You tossed and turned for hours. So much London had to kick you.
At around 2am, you decided to get up and go downstairs, thinking Slash would be asleep. Even so, you still tried to be quiet going down. You got to the bottom and went towards the living room. The living room didn't have a door, but a doorframe that was maybe slightly bigger than two doors.
All the lights were out, the only light coming from a movie playing in the living room. Slash was awake. You panic internally and decide to turn back and go back upstairs, but Slash had already heard the floorboards creaking.
"Y/N?" He calls out quietly. You shuffle into the room nervously. He looks up at you, seeming unbothered, "what'cha doing up so late?" You mumble, "...couldn't sleep."
He doesn't reply. Instead, he just pats the seat beside him, silently inviting you to watch the rest of the movie with him. You sat down nervously, keeping a distance between you. You both sit silently for a while, just watching the movie. You had been moving slightly closer to him until your shoulders were touching. He noticed, but he didn't say anything at first. He just wrapped an arm around you.
You felt your face heat up. You looked up at him. His focus was on the movie.
Suddenly, you felt a wave of confidence. You didn't care that he was older. You didn't care that he was your best friends dad. You didn't care that he was your dads best friend. You wanted him. More than anything.
You get up from where you were sitting and sit on his lap, facing him. His hands immediately go to your waist. He looks up at you, "what'cha doing, princess?" You felt butterflies in your stomach. It took every ounce of courage in you to keep going and not break down crying from embarrassment.
"please..."
You barely mumble, but it was enough for Slash. His hand slid into your shorts, brushing against your clit through your panties. You gasp, digging your nails into his shoulders slightly. He pulls your shorts and panties down. You lift your hips to help him get them off, and he throws them carelessly on the floor when he does. He spreads his legs slightly so youre sitting on his thigh.
You slowly start grinding against his thigh, digging your nails into his shoulders harder. His hands still on your waist help you grind harder against him. He thrusts his knee up in time with your grinds.
He watches as moans and whimpers spill out of you, "so pretty, just for me," he coos.
You bury your face in the crook of his neck, "fuck, feels so good!" You moan. He brings a hand down and starts playing with your clit. Your legs start shaking. He smirks, "gonna be a good girl and cum for daddy?" You moan loudly, "fuck, yes! Oh fuck I'm gonna cum!" He kisses your neck, "yeah? gonna cum for daddy?" He slides two fingers into your needy hole, thrusting them in and out, matching your grinds.
Your back arches, and you moan even louder, "fuck, daddy- hah- I-i can't take it! I'm-i'm gonna cum!" He moves his fingers faster, watching you come completely undone by him, "cum for me baby, show me how much you love it."
Your eyes roll back as you cum, soaking his jeans and babbling random begs and pleas. He keeps rubbing your clit in circles, milking your orgasm, "thats it, good girl." You feel yourself twitching from the overstimulation, "fuck! please, daddy!"
Once you come down from your high, your body relaxes. He pulls his fingers out of you and licks them clean, "you taste heavenly, princess." You whine in response. He brings his hand down, flicking your clit every now and then just to hear you whimper or see your body twitch.
After letting you catch your breath, he stands up, keeping a grip on you. Your legs wrap around his waist, and your arms around his neck. He grabs your shorts and panties and carries you up to his bedroom. He throws your panties in the laundry basket and gently lays you down on the bed. "What're you doing?" He looks at you, confused, "I'm taking care of you, darling. What else?" You furrow your eyebrows, "but why?"
He chuckles, "I might be older than you, but I'm no stranger to aftercare, sweetheart," he says as he walks into his en suite bathroom. You hear the tap running, and then it goes silent. He comes back into the room with a damp cloth in his hands. He comes over to you and gently cleans the mess between your legs. You shudder slightly at the coldness.
He slides your shorts back on. You smile tiredly. He pulls the covers around you and kisses your forhead. "You need anything?" You shake your head.
He changes out of his clothes and into boxers and an old t-shirt. He gets into bed beside you. He pulls you close, and you inhale, taking in his scent. Really, he just smelt like the cologne he wore, but you found it intoxicating. You made a mental note to try and steal the t-shirt he was currently wearing before you went home.
You feel yourself getting tired, but then the events of tonight start replaying in your head. How good he made you feel, how warm you felt when he started taking care of you- then you get a gut-wrenching feeling. You were falling for him. Was this bad? Was this wrong? You can't have a relationship with him. Right...? What would people think? What would London think? What would your dad think? You clear your head for now, realising that Slash most likely thought of this as a one-time thing. You close your eyes and slowly drift off.
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