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therecordconnection · 5 months ago

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Ranting and Raving: “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” Performed by Sam Kinison on The Tonight Show

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Sam Kinison was the first true rock star comedian in my eyes. Everything about him was pure rock n’ roll. He looked like a cross between Brian Johnson from AC/DC and Meat Loaf. He had unshakable confidence and swagger. He was abrasive, in your face, and dangerous. And of course, he had a scream so legendary it put heavy metal singers to shame. To me, he’ll always be comedy’s version of James Dean; a true rebel without a cause and the first comedian I ever saw who ever truly embodied Dean’s famous mantra of “Live Fast, Die Young,” seeing as how he died young in a car crash in April 10th, 1992 with just about every substance known to man in his bloodstream. He was thirty-eight.

To me, Sam was always a more natural, more human version of what Andrew “Dice” Clay was and still is today. With Clay, the despicable persona of the Diceman always felt like a costume that he could take off until one day he found he couldn’t. Sam never struck me as that. Unlike Dice, Sam had the capacity to recognize some of his humor was in real bad taste. He ended up having regrets about nasty jokes relating to the AIDS epidemic (the wake up call was at the 2nd Annual International Rock Awards on ABC in 1990, where Elton John said, on air, “I'd like to congratulate Sam Kinison on being the first pig ever to introduce a rock'n'roll show”). The Diceman never apologized for anything and still won’t.

Sam was undeniably a character, but he wasn’t a persona in the way that some comedians like Clay adopt. You watch Sam do one set and you feel like you know who he is and you get the feeling he’s always been like this, there are just parts that are a little exaggerated for the stage. His overall anger and the power in his voice were absolutely real, but I don’t think he walked around constantly shouting at people. His father was a preacher and his brother Bill was his manager, but there’s no evidence that either of them had the same vocal talent Sam had. What Sam had was special and once he entered into comedy with his boisterous voice as his secret recipe, he was unstoppable.

Every comedian back in the eighties and nineties had a “schtick.” It was what you needed in order to stand out from the pack. Jerry Seinfeld turned observations about mundane things into laughs (“What’s the deal with...?”) Bob Saget was often quick-minded and nervous, speaking like a manic used car salesman that was painfully aware he only had ten minutes to get you on his side. Yakov Smirnoff made being Russian his entire thing. Kinison had a schtick too: that incredible vocal ability and legendary high-decibel scream. Kinison, a failed pentecostal preacher turned comedian, was well aware of what his voice could do for him if he used it in the right ways. He mixed the charisma of megachurch preachers with the energy and force of an immature angry asshole going on a tirade. It was pure, once-in-a-generation magic.

There are many classic performances found online of Sam at his absolute best, but I think none of them highlight just how talented of a vocalist he was more than his May 1989 appearance on Johnny Carson’s The Tonight Show, where he sang a beautiful version (as “beautiful” as Sam Kinison could get) of Elvis Presley’s 1960 hit “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” in a way that only he could’ve done.

Sam was no stranger to incorporating music into his stand-up bits. With a voice like his, how the hell could you not? If you watch his “Love Song” bit, you’ll see that he was able to play piano. His playing is lovely and it’s a bit I recommend. He showed genuine singing ability when he tried comforting Rodney Dangerfield, the King of Getting No Respect, when he was down on his luck after a breakup. The guy could really sing... until he derailed it and let his anger get to him and then it’s Screamin’ Sammy again telling off a backstabbing, cheating, heartbreaking woman in the most vicious tirade you’ve ever heard. You can probably guess what his version of “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” is going to sound like. But let’s talk about the original song for a second.

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“Are You Lonesome Tonight?” is honestly kind of a boring song. The Elvis version is the one pretty much everyone knows offhand so that’s the one we’ll talk about here for the sake of convenience. It’s kind of boring, but as far as Elvis is concerned, he has done much much worse. It was the first #1 hit Elvis scored after his time in the army and it also kinda marked the beginning of the Hound Dog no longer really having any of the previous bite that made him a superstar. It’s Presley on auto pilot and he only really recorded it because it was a request from his manager, Col. Tom Parker. He sings the song in a quiet, hushed tone, almost like he’s singing a lullaby to you, but there is a darkness to it that betrays the gentle sound of it and that’s really what makes it worth the listen. The king has this cool echo effect on his vocals that gives it a haunting quality, especially when you consider this is a revenge song from a scorned lover who was betrayed. You can hear some of that resentment and scorn when he delivers the line, "Honey, you lied when you said you loved me." When he says "But I'd rather go on hearing your lies," you can feel that nastiness. Considering Sam Kinison made an entire career of spitting venom and scorn at women (both real and fictional) that broke his heart, cheated on him, or just plain did him wrong (in his eyes), you can see why it would be a perfect vehicle for him to sing and spin into comedy gold. Sam didn’t write this song, but he may as well have.

The arrangement is just as spare as Elvis’ version. Sam’s got some backing vocalists cooing behind him and a nice, gentle guitar delivering the music. Sam also didn’t change any of the lyrics except for the spoken-word monologue in the middle. That part is all Sammy. We’ll get there.

By the time Sam appeared on The Tonight Show, he had already been well-established and seen on network television, appearing on Letterman as well as on HBO with Dangerfield a bunch of times. What he was gonna do with “Are You Lonesome Tonight” wasn’t a secret to anybody except those who somehow hadn’t seen him yet. The screaming guy was going to, well, scream, but the magic was not knowing when he was gonna do it.

There’s a long-running theory on the internet that loud = funny. I think that’s incorrect. It’s not just being loud that makes something funny. Any schmuck can get loud, but that doesn’t guarantee it’s gonna be funny. No, the actual equation is disarming = funny. Sam would set up a joke and then raise his voice at the most precise, unexpected moments and just completely catch you off guard. Take, for example, his first appearance on Letterman. He begins in a calm, conversational voice. Then, he starts escalating and doing his best impression of a passionate southern preacher, getting louder and louder... before immediately snapping back to being as calm as he started, as if he never raised his voice.

The funny part isn’t just that he got loud, it’s that he disarmed you when he got loud. He catches you completely off guard because you weren’t expecting him to increase in volume and start speaking like a preacher. It’s a perfect example of what made Sam Kinison so much more than a one-trick-pony: his incredible level of control. He could’ve shouted everything he ever said, but the magic was in his restraint, choosing the right moments to raise the volume and start getting loud. He could turn the decibels up or down in a flash without ever losing rhythm or sounding like it caused him pain or struggle to do it. If the voice is considered an instrument, then Sam was a virtuoso with it.

That same disarming is what makes his rendition of “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” so fucking funny. He disarms and catches you off guard by genuinely singing the song competently and completely straight for the first half. The inevitable incoming comedy aside, it’s a great rendition and proof that Sam could’ve been a lounge lizard if comedy never worked out for him. He sings for about a minute and a half without ever raising his voice to the usual territory. You’re disarmed by method of being lulled into a false sense of security. He’s Sam Kinison, so he’s going to start screaming like a maniac... but what if he’s not? What if it’s a perfect subversion where you’re waiting for The Thing(tm) but it doesn’t happen? Like Andy Kaufman continuing to read The Great Gatsby on stage until you figure out that it’s not a bit... he’s really gonna read the whole thing on stage until you leave.

Nothing like that happens here. We all know he’s gonna do The Thing(tm), but he’s making us wait for it, choosing the right moment to let that freak off the leash. I love how you can see him slightly break and start smirking right after he starts the spoken word portion of the song. It reminds me of the grin on Scott Steiner’s face right before he launched into his famous “Steiner Math” promo at Sacrifice 2008. Like Steiner, Sam knew what was coming and it’s a wonderful sign that he was having just as much fun as his audience. Beautiful.

Sam’s version of the song’s spoken-word monologue is a work of art. It’s the work of a master at the top of his game and a testament to his incredible level of control and timing. Over the course of the monologue, he does three distinct voices: Normal Sam, a higher pitched version of his voice used whenever he would impersonate a woman, and of course, Screamin’ Sam. Since this is network television, he can’t curse like he normally would, but that doesn’t diminish the comedy one bit. The entire monologue is stunning and the way Sam weaves his voice in and out of the different parts of it while keeping the whole thing flowing makes it even more delightfully unhinged. It’s such a hilarious roller coaster ride and he delivers equally hilarious jabs. I love the bit in the middle when he complains about his ex using “I’m not growing as a person” as a reason for wanting to break up. “OH, THAT WAS A GREAT IDEA! YEAH, LET'S BREAK UP, HONEY! DID YOU GROW ANY!? HUH!? ARE YOU ANY TALLER!? It’s so deliciously petty (and doubly funny because Sam himself wasn’t that tall. 5 '7, a “short king” in today’s culture). His uncanny ability to go from “guy doing a generic, high pitched woman voice” to screaming maniac is just incredible! You never hear a voice crack or any irritation in his voice. It’s just the spirit of a petty, heartbroken asshole working through him. It’s so wonderfully natural. You only realize how hard it is to do what he did when you try doing it yourself. It’s not easy at all. He snaps between these voices like Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde and seemingly does it with no signs of strain or irritation. A natural gift shared with the world.

The joke isn’t just that he’s screaming his head off, though it’s easy to think that’s all there is to it. Make no mistake, it’s a big part of it, but there’s also humor to be found in this guy who sounds like your typical lounge lizard singing an old song in a hotel or bar somewhere suddenly letting his emotions get the better of him and you’re now witness to an unexpected freakout you didn’t sign up for. You can hear this best near the end when he snaps back to Normal Sam and says, “Ah, but I'd rather go on hearing your lies than go on living without you. That's how sick I am. Well, I'm standing here, the stage is bare...” He then starts breaking and as soon as everything becomes normal again, he breaks and goes off the deep end all over again. “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! YOU WERE WRONG! SAY IT YOU STUPID, STUBBORN PIG! I WAS WRONG! OH! OHHHHHHHHH!" He then snaps back immediately and sings the song again as if none of that happened. He ends by softly saying, “I hope you die” while flashing a devilish grin at the camera. The icing on the cake.

Sam’s performance of “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” still stands as my favorite showcase of Sam’s vocal talents. Everything that made him a comedy legend is here and accounted for. His beautifully strange and chaotically musical voice, his sense of timing, and his playfulness all made him a once-in-a-generation talent who was here just long enough for all of us to laugh and fall in love with him. We’ve never seen the likes of him since and we probably never will again. Adam Sandler became the “guy who screams” in the wake of Sam’s death and maybe could’ve emulated him, but Sandler recognized he was too cartoonish for that and picked his own road. The closest my generation (very tail-end millennial, born 1995) has come to having a new Sam Kinison would probably be Dane Cook, but that’s not a good thing. I remember thinking he was a fucking irritating and annoying jackoff in his prime. I still think that now. His buffoonish, wiry, “shout everything” persona subscribed to the “loud = funny” formula and we’re worse for it. Sam Kinison had music, Dane Cook was just a bunch of noise.

I think Sam Kinison was one of those bright stars that was meant to shine bright when he did and burn out when he did. His entire persona and lifestyle wasn’t meant to make old bones. I can’t picture “Old Man Sam” still screaming and I don’t want to speculate on where his career would’ve gone or what would’ve happened to him had he stuck around. If there’s any positives to take regarding someone being a star and dying young, it’s that their legend never dies. It remains encased in amber, long after they’re gone, for all to view and continue to love. Sam’s now been dead almost as long as he was alive, but in all the stand-up clips and television appearances available online, he remains more alive than ever. He was such a disarming comedian. He kept you on your toes and when you least expected it, he pummeled you with a sound so distinct and loud that your ears will still be ringing a day later.

Sam used to have a bit that involved asking if there was any man (it was always a man) in the crowd who wasn’t married. Sam would then approach said man, ask for his name, and then say something to the tune of, “Well [Y/N], if you ever think about getting married or think you’ve found the right girl, someone who will change your life, etc. I want you to remember this face.” He would then scream “OHHHHHHHH” and say that the look on his face is what you’ll look like when you’re married. I don’t always remember the face...

But the voice is an unforgettable one-in-a-million.

#original post #ranting and raving #sam kinison #elvis presley #Youtube

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oliviayamaoka · 3 years ago

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The Roseville Murders (Chapter 2)

Hi, just wanted to say I adjusted the plot slightly and will go into more detail with the story next chapter! This was a bit experimental and I wanted to write the growing relationship / rivalry between Y/N and Danny. I also wanted to write Y/N as a girlboss and to be just as witty as Danny!

Anyways, please comment any ideas or suggestions you may wanna see in future chapters! I have this planned out but would love any ideas or stuff I can add into the story! Tysm for reading!

It rained softly outside as you took a seat at your workplace. The desk was a bit cluttered with your art, notes, junk, and your papers regarding your current investigation.

One of the drawings on your desk was a sketch of Ghostface’s mask, attached to it was a few notes regarding the origin of the mask. Did Ghostface care for the history of it, anyways? You already theorized he was a narcissist who took pride in his work. Perhaps, he admired Edward Munch and his infamous “The Scream” artwork? Or maybe he based his persona off of it? You weren’t too sure but you did research the distribution and the company that made the masks. It wasn’t a particular popular company but it only distributed to the USA, Canada, and Brazil.

Ghostface didn’t seem too caring when it came to where he stabbed victims. As long as there was a lot of blood and something only he could perceive as art. And maybe you too. You felt excited, you already had a three year timeline. Maybe, you could get ahold of other states and ask if there’s been similar killings. Maybe even Brazil and Canada? You had to pinpoint a location and see if you could find just one name, any name.

Three years. Three countries. A part of you doubted he was Brazilian. Maybe Canadian? You weren’t so sure, you were pretty sure he was American. Y/N would probably have to go to the library tommorow to do research and use the slowly growing internet. Your research was suddenly halted when you knocked your sketchbook over.

Our slid a page. You kneeled down to pick it up, holding it as you examined the dark sketch. On the paper was a sketch of claws? No, they also looked like tentacles. Ever since the incident, you had dreams of these tentacle claws grabbing you and pulling you away from life as you know it. It must’ve been a sign of trauma or maybe it represented what happened through the nightmares? You slid it back into your sketchbook, deciding not to dwell on it. It would only make your room feel more depressing.

Beside your sketchbook was your leather journal. Y/N wrote everything in there, for mental health reasons. You included the incident and what Jonathan did for you. Your previous therapist said journaling your thoughts helped the healing process. It worked but journaling about how you killed your abuser was hell.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when your phone rang. It was a chunky, black mobile phone you got about a week ago? Y/N reached for it and answered.

“Hello?” You answered, using your other hand to organize your desk.

“Hello?” A voice answered, it was a male by the sound of it.

“Hi, who’s this?” Y/N asked, paying no mind to the phone call as she started to put some of her stuff away. Art supplies.

“Who’s this?” He replied.

“Y/N L/N, am I who you’re trying to reach?” You asked, sitting back down.

“Ah, you’re no fun, detective.” He chuckled as you stopped, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. Who was this?

“My apologies but, this is my personal phone. Can I ask who gave you this number?” You questioned him.

“Why does it matter, gorgeous? I know it’s you now.” He responded.

“Please don’t call me that. And yes, I am indeed a detective but I’d feel more comfortable discussing anything with you on my work phone.” Y/N said sternly.

“Oh, yeah… Detective L/N, huh? Think you’re some sort of hotshot because you’re new? Where did you come from? Washington? Gonna take more than the feds to catch me.” He said to you.

You listened intently and stopped for a moment. Catch him? Must be a stupid prank. Although, not a funny one since he had your personal phone number. An eyebrow raised as you looked at your notes on Ghostface.

“You still haven’t told me your name. Let’s not be rude, yeah?” You responded, being a little more cocky since you were off-duty.

“Awe, don’t tell me you forgot my name. I’ll give you a hint… I’ve been quite famous lately. In fact, I think you’ve taken quite the interest in me, Y/N.” The man teased. It was 100% Danny.

“I asked for a name, not an alias.” You said.

“Maybe after dinner, hotshot.” Danny said to you as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“I’m not in Roseville to play games. Either verify you are who you claim to be or quit wasting my time.” Y/N spoke with a stern tone.

“My last victim had three stab wounds to the throat. It was going to be two but their scream wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. And they had a tattoo on their upper thigh. Bella Smith.” He said as you froze for a moment.

It was true. The latest murder victim was a middle-aged woman named Bella Smith who worked at a convenience store. She had multiple stab wounds but it was pretty much impossible to see she had three wounds on her throat just looking at photos of the crime scene.

“Okay and how did you get my number? I imagine the infamous Ghostface doesn’t have access to these types of things. How do I know this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank orchestrated by my coworkers?” You questioned.

“Honey, I am Roseville. Also sounds like you have experience with these kinds of things. You ever get humiliated like that?” Danny asked, grinning widely.

“No, it’s just a very logical conclusion. And why would you be talking to me anyways?” You asked him.

While you spoke to him, you quickly wrote down what he said and what he sounded like. You quickly speculated what his age may be, maybe 25?

“I keep tabs on the cops who are investigating my work and to be honest? They’re all stupid, it’s pathetic. Although, I noticed something about you. You come from one of the big cities, don’t you? You’re actually smart compared to those other pigs.” He said.

“Those pigs you speak of have tried their best in pursuing you. They have families too.” You responded.

“Really, huh? You’ve only been here three weeks? I think you should just trust me on this one because those other officers really don’t know what they’re doing. If you actually find out who I am, are they gonna give you credit? The newbie? A woman?” He asked.

“I don’t understand why gender is an issue. And why would they try to steal credit?” You questioned.

“They’re stuck in this shit hole city and I bet they could just really use a promotion right now. They want so badly to be the hero that arrests me… but first, they’ll let the freshly graduated detective do the work. It’s so easy to overshadow women in this world.” Danny said.

“Well, I don’t care. As long as you’re put behind bars.” Y/N responded.

“The bars at this station? I must say, your desk is quite cute. A bit plain but I like your style… interesting files too.” He mused.

“Huh?” You responded, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Your lil’ office at the station, I like it. This place has always been easy to break into. You noticed it too, didn’t you? Their security sucks and their morgue is just too damn small.” Danny said as you frantically looked around, shoving your shoes on.

“I’m going to call them right now and tell them you’re there. That was a stupid move on your part.” You said, practically yelling.

“So young and naive. I’ll be long gone.” He responded, chuckling as you hung up.

“Fuck, shit!” You said, quickly dialling the number to the police station.

You practically flung your door open, sprinting down the hallway and out through the front doors of the apartment complex after three flights of stairs. Your heart rate increased as you continued running down the sidewalk, feeling more frantic when there was no answer.

“Answer…!” You yelled, calling the emergency number.

“911, how can I help you?” A staticky voice answered as you continued running.

“I’m Detective Y/N L/N! Please inform the police station that there’s an intruder! He might be armed and dangerous! Do not touch anything since there may be forensic evidence!” You instructed.

“Oh—yes, right away, ma’am!” The dispatcher answered as you hung up, continuing to focus on your running towards the station.

Back at your apartment complex, there stood Danny with his own mobile phone. It couldn’t be traced back to him since it was stolen and he didn’t leave any DNA on it. If anything, it had the previous owners. Bella Smith. Your apartment complex had fire escape stairs outside your window. Easy enough, he thought. His outfit was black and had some stuff hanging off it. Strings? Ribbons? Danny was quite quick and extremely quiet when it came to climbing the set of stairs.

He reached your window, pulling it open gently and hoisting himself through, landing gently whilst kneeled down. For precaution, he had his knife gripped in one hand. This was purely for investigation and to see what you truly had on him. His head tilted curiously as he noticed your desk. Your art and notebook. His gloved hand reached out to your sketch of him.

Danny was truly impressed at how detailed and good it was. He read through your sticky notes and theories. Other than the fact he was blown away, he knew you were a threat since you successfully guessed his age range and height. Wait, his height? You did a careful examination of the footage he was in, looking at objects around him and his boots to correctly guess a height.

“What the fuck…?” Danny muttered as he looked at your notes.

The Scream by Edward Munch and a costume company? He skimmed over your notes and the psychological profile you built on him. He felt somewhat panicked since you were indeed no joke. His gaze averted towards your leather notebook. Eagerly, he grabbed it and opened it. Most of it was your thoughts and causes of your stress and anxiety. He stopped flipping through when he saw a darker page. It was dark because of the writing and how crumpled it seemed.

December 23rd, 1992

I was walking down an alleyway two weeks ago. It was cold so I had a jacket over my uniform. I suppose that’s why the man didn’t know I was an officer.

At first, I thought that he was going to try and rob me. It took me a while to realize that my money and belongings wasn’t what he was after. I suppose it would be appropriate to say that I was in shock for a moment. He never finished what he started. Despite being in shock, I was able to feel everything and the adrenaline only helped my rage.

Why? Why did this have to happen to me? After getting him off, I pulled my gun out and he stopped. I still remember the look on his face after I shot him. He was scared and pathetic, as he was in life. I don’t regret killing him. I never will. I just feel utterly violated. Never once have I been touched like that so violently. Is this what this fucked up world has come to? What if I didn’t have my gun and training?

He definitely did this to other women… he deserved to die. And I would do it all over again to him and to other men just like him. Of course, I had to call the police. They were going to charge me with manslaughter but they said that they would push this all under the rug, just as long as I never tell anybody. Did I contribute to corruption in the police force? This getting out would ruin everything. I don’t know but I do know that this was my gift.

Freedom was my gift for killing that man. It felt oddly exhilarating. I hope nobody remembers him, I hope his family know what kind of monster he was. Anyways, I’m being reassigned somewhere. They said they’ll give me my first investigation. In a smaller city.

Danny’s fingers trailed over the page. He felt angry and sad for you. That this happened to you. But, something arose in him when he kept re-reading that paragraph. You… enjoyed it? Behind the mask, he had a soft expression on his face. He imagined your beautiful face full of blood with you and your gun. He smiled gently as he kept the notebook.

He did indeed feel bad for you but he wasn’t satisfied with his limited knowledge of you. Danny decided to use this notebook of incriminating evidence to hold some leverage over you. Not only that but he figured he’d get to know you better if they had something interesting to talk to you about. Danny couldn’t help but grin when he thought about your journal entry and the sketches you made of him. So smart yet so naive.

Danny quickly took a look around your apartment to see all points of entry. He took a peak into your bedroom, it was neat and tidy. He seemed somewhat paranoid so quickly went back to your living room window, making his swift little escape. Not without taking some of your notes on him and your sketchbook.

About two hours later, you rubbed your eyes in frustration as another officer came to talk to you. There was a forensic team still investigating your little office space. Apparently, there was nobody here and your office seemed untouched. For about thirty minutes, you inspected any points of entry and tried to look for out of place shoe marks since it rained outside.

“Detective, are you certain it was the killer who called? We get prank calls a lot.” He said as you nodded.

“Yes, I’m certain. It was him, he knows I’m going to catch him soon.” You said as he nodded a bit.

“Okay, well, we’ll take it from here. Come early tommorow.” He said as you sighed.

“I will but please, don’t miss anything. I’m starting to think he was lying. It was him though.” You said as you turned, walking down the hallway towards the exit.

It seemed to be evening at this point and the rain stopped pouring. It was slightly humid but the city looked oddly beautiful when it was wet? You couldn’t stop thinking about your phone call with Ghostface earlier. Y/N already had some tech professionals try to track the number he called from and all of the information regarding the phone company. You’d have to wait two days at the latest for the results to come back.

As you walked through light puddles, you felt more and more tired. All the running and frantically searching for him was enough to just make you exhausted. It was all last-minute too. Y/N stopped dead in her tracks when she felt her mobile phone ring. You pulled it out of your pocket and answered it.

“Hello?” You asked, tired.

“Hey, gorgeous. Just wanted to apologize for my little deception trick earlier.” He responded as your eyes widened.

“Ghostface…” You responded, shocked that he had the courage to call you again.

“God, hearing that from you…” He said with a slight husk as you took a deep breath quietly to calm yourself.

“You know I’m close, don’t you?” You questioned him as he chuckled.

“Of course, I do… only these hands of mine can do wonders for you.” Danny said to you as you scoffed.

“You’re disgusting.” You say to him.

“Don’t lose your temper now, detective. There’s… things we should discuss.” He cooed.

“Things? Seriously?” You asked him, already tired of his bullshit.

“Yeah! Like, this lil’ notebook of yours! Really deep stuff… Victor Houston, was it? The serial rapist? Must’ve felt real good to put him down, didn’t it? Did it feel as good as you said it did in this thing?” He asked as you froze.

You probably let out a small whimper of shock as your hands trembled. Your heart pumped hard and fast. It was all you can hear as you felt your face heat out of pure embarrassment and shock. He… read your journal? This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good.

“W-What…?” You asked as he cackled.

“God, you’re so hot when you sound scared. Don’t be offended though, babe. You still sound real sexy in your cop tone.” He said as he continued.

“Yeah, I read all about the guy you killed. And how it was all covered up to accommodate you. Are you a star student or something? It’s hard covering up murders… or has it always been easy for you?” He asked.

“I-I, um… how did you get that…?” You asked him, trembling.

“You see, Y/N… we’re the same. You and I are too smart for Roseville. It’s just that I got the upper hand this time. While you rushed to the police station, I took a quick trip into your apartment.” He said as you let out a light gasp.

“Yeah, that’s right! I know where you live, I know where you’re from, and your number. I know who you truly are, Detective Y/N L/N.” Danny said mockingly.

“And what are you going to do with it?” You asked him.

“Always so straight to the point. I might give that annoying little journalist Jed Olsen. You’re trying to work with him, aren’t you? You mentioned in one of these notes… you also think he’s handsome.” He said as you covered your eyes.

You fought tears.

“Why? Why would you do this?” You ask.

“I should be asking you that. I’m a bit jealous you find someone like Olsen… attractive. He’s so boring, so normal, so… ugh, I hate talking about him. Still though, nice to know I have another fan besides him.” He said to you.

“Where are you going with this?!” You snapped as he chuckled darkly.

“I won’t tell anybody. Just as long as you halt your investigation for a while. I still want to have fun in Roseville here and well… get to know you.” He said.

“Go to hell.” You muttered.

“How original… so what’ll it be? I kinda need to know now since I’m also on a bit of a time crunch.” Danny asked you.

“W-What the fuck do you want me to do? Sit back and watch as you kill more innocent people?! I won’t let you.” You said with a venomous tone.

“What are you gonna do? Stop me behind bars?” He asked mockingly.

“Fuck you.” You said.

“I’m sure we will. But first, I just want you to sit back and not do anything stupid. We’ll see each other eventually. I’ll call you from another phone soon.” He said, hanging up.

You held your phone in disbelief and quickly made sure you had your gun. How the hell could you have been so dumb?! It was genius, leading you away from you apartment and finding such leverage against you purely out of luck. Your breath trembled as you walked back to your apartment, having your gun ready in your pocket as you did so.

#dbd x reader #ghostface x reader #the ghostface #ghostface dbd #danny johnson x reader #jed olsen x reader #jed olsen #danny johnson #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight

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hotdadsdrawing · 3 years ago

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My Unpopular/Opinions about Miraculous LB

Yes I'm Categorizing this leave me alone,

SHIPS:

-Ladrien, is only good in fanfictions, cannon Ladrien would be LB using her superhero status to date the guy she likes knowing that he doesn't romantically like the girl under the mask

-MariChat, one, the stans are so toxic and two, MariChat should just be a platonic ship and would be horrible in cannon. MariChat works out 100x better when they're just best buds who do best bud things together.

-Adrienette, Adrienette has been really unsettling for the past 2 seasons, Mari is being super creepy obsessed.

-Ladynoir, I fully agree with the cannon that they shouldn't date in mask before they defeat Hawkmoth, it could lead to a lot of danger to both parties and a lot of emotional damage.

-Adrigami, Adrigami is toxic. All Kagami wants is some TLC but Adrien is so in love with LadyBug that he barley notices her and makes her feel shitty, I'm glad they broke up.

PLOT: There is literally no plot progression for any ships so far, Adrienette got the reverse umbrella scene yeah yeah but besides that no one has showed interest in anyone yet (besides Chat obviously). I understand that it's complicated cause of masks and identity but it's been FOUR SEASONS, mf jim and pam were dating by the fourth season.

CHARACTERS:

-Marinette, love her to death but the way she spies on Adrien and constantly stalks him is disgusting and cringey. It's so invasive and if I were Adrien she'd already have a restraining order.

-Tikki, sometimes I feel like she's putting more stress on Marinette. I understand that sometimes everyone needs to hear the hard truth but Mari is 14 years old she does not need a little red god telling her about every mistake she's made.

-Alya, I feel like she's still got that vlogger and reporter mindset when it comes to identities. The fact that she's taking selfies and telling Nino stuff behind Mari's back. She'll get better as the season progresses but it's making me real stressed out rn.

-Adrien, this mf has got to get another personality that isn't "simp for ladybug" and "cause world destruction", I get that it's probably a good distraction from his trauma but he needs to get a hobby istg, maybe collect rocks or smth.

-Nino, perfect character rn.

-Just because Chloe is a disliked character doesn't mean you have to like her, she's a racist, backstabbing, untrustworthy person and her mommy issues don't justify that.

-Zoe is better.

AKUMA VICTIMS: Bro the costumes for so many victims are so bad. Bright colors does not equal good costume.

The names are bad too, "malediktator" nah cause what was that

"befana" is just hag in Italian and it connects to Christmas folk lore, wtf does that have to do with old candies.

SEASON 4:

No complaints for season four but the filler episodes are horrible.

MIRACULOUSES:

-The pig miraculous is so corny. "The Power of Kindness" NAH

-When the Butterfly miraculous isn't being used for evil it'd be kinda useless

-Max uses the horse miraculous so well and they need to use him more often

-Aspik. Just Aspik.

-Mylene is great for the mouse, the costume is VILE though.

-The Snake miraculous' accessory is completely useless for any type of climbing or jumping that the rest of the hero's do. This also applies to the turtle, pig, horse and peacock.

-Monkey miraculous is extremely useless to any enemy that has WORKING LEGS, they can just walk away from the very small toy banana.

-I know Ladybug has her magic compact but where does Chat keep all his stuff, how does he just pull out the magic camembert that can transform them. Does he have magical cat pockets?

-Lila looks amazing in the fox miraculous, I'm sorry someone had to say it, she rocks it so hard and the character design on that costume is too good for a bad person.

-Zoe looks 10x better in the bee miraculous than Chloe, the mask on Chloe makes her face look all wonky and Zoe's transformation is so much cooler.

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dccomicsimagines · 4 years ago

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Date Trap - Kaldur x Reader

Requested by Anon - Hi, would you write something fluffy with Kaldur please? If you need a plot then maybe where they flirt constantly and the team ships them and tries to get them together? If you don’t need a plot then ignore that haha. Thanks :)

Author’s Note - I made this one Halloweenish too. Sorry.

***

“Kaldur, let me help you with that,” you said shyly, coming over to help him adjust the collar of his shirt. He smiled, blushing slightly.

“Thank you.” Your touch lingered on his collar before pulling away. Artemis snorted at the sight. You jumped, forgetting the rest of the team had been watching. All of you were by the zeta tubes at the cave.

Robin laughed his creepy little laugh. “Are you two ready? Remember you’re supposed to be on a date.”

“We know.” You adjusted your own outfit. “Why does it have to be us again? I mean M’gann and Conner are actually dating in real life.”

“Supes is too scary. The date stalker won’t come after him,” Wally said, coming into the room with a camera. “Besides, he wouldn’t handle the fancy dinner and everything.” Conner growled in response. Wally smirked at him before holding up the camera. “Smile, lovebirds.”

You and Kaldur froze like deer in headlights. The camera flashed, blinding both of you for a second. “I do not understand why you all seem to be enjoying this so much,” Kaldur whispered in Robin’s ear once he recovered.

“Because it’s fun.” Robin laughed again. He pushed Kaldur toward the zeta tube. “Stay whelmed. It’s going to be great.”

Kaldur cleared his throat. He glanced over at you to see you getting a jacket from M’gann. You waved, putting it on as you joined him. “Are we ready to go?”

“Yes, it appears so.” Kaldur looked back at Robin and Wally. Both of them gestured for Kaldur to offer you his arm. He frowned, confused by the gesture.

“Okay then.” You walked off to the zeta tube. Kaldur shook his head at Wally and Dick before running to catch up with you.

“I don’t know if this is going to work,” M’gann said through the mindlink. “They both don’t even realize their feelings for each other. How are they going to fall in love and be convincing to the Date Stalker?”

Artemis shook her head. “Kaldur is not that dense. He knows he likes (Y/N). I mean he blushes every time he looks at them. If we can tell they like each other, the Date Stalker will fall for it too.”

“But what if they don’t notice that they like each other? What if it’s just as awkward as them leaving was?” M’gann bit her lip. “Maybe it should have been Conner and I as bait?”

“Nah, they’ll be fine. This will spark their romance. Kaldur isn’t a completely fool. I mean he won’t sweep (Y/N) off their feet like I could, but he can be charming when he wants to be.” Wally smirked, striking a proud pose. Artemis flicked him in the forehead. He winced, pouting.

“Shouldn’t we be going? I mean we’re supposed to be backing them up.” Conner crossed his arms, glancing at the clock. Wolf barked impatiently as well.

The rest of the team snapped to attention, and hurried to the zeta tube eagerly. “Remember pizza for a week if this has them dating afterwards,” Robin teased. Artemis smacked him across the head. “Ouch.”

***

You poked at the food on your plate. What if you chewed too loudly? What if you spilled on yourself? Would Kaldur think you were a pig? You found you couldn’t take a bite.

Little did you know, Kaldur had the same thoughts going through his head on top of wondering what his food was. Surface food was strange to say the least. He poked at his food, copying you.

The silence weighed heavily on the two of you. You wished M’gann and Conner had done this part of the mission instead.

“Are you enjoying your food?” The waiter asked, stopping by when he noticed neither of you had taken a bite.

“We are fine. Thank you.” Kaldur gave him a tight smile. The waiter glanced at you. You nodded hurriedly, bumping the bottom of the table with your leg. Everything on the table jumped. Kaldur barely caught his water in time before it tipped over.

“Sorry.” Your face burned. The waiter shook his head, mumbling something about kids as he walked away. “Sorry.” You kept your eyes on your plate.

Kaldur cleared his throat. “It is fine.” He bit his lip. “Are you enjoying your food?”

“Yes.” Your stomach growled. Tensing, you hoped Kaldur didn’t hear. You took a dainty bite of your food. It took you a second to swallow. “How’s yours?”

Kaldur studied his plate. “Interesting.” He took a bite, encouraged by the sight of you eating. “I have never had something like this before.”

You smiled, relaxing slightly. He was probably as out of his element as you were. “Well, do you like it?”

“It has an different taste to be sure.” Kaldur took another bite. He glanced out the window, frowning when he saw a group of kids walk by in Halloween costumes. “I thought Halloween was in a few days?”

“It is. They must be doing something early.” You shrugged. Finally, you relaxed enough to eat normally. “Have you celebrated Halloween before?”

“No.” He smiled at you. “I was invited to join M’gann and Conner’s school dance, but I declined. The idea of Halloween as a holiday concerns me.”

“Really? Why?” You tilted your head at him.

Kaldur blushed. He loved when you looked at him like he was the only one in the room. “People dressing up in costumes and pretending to be people other than themselves is worrisome. In Atlantis, we would only do such a thing for plays or ceremonies.” He pursed his lips. “Not to mention, I have concerns about strangers giving candy to children.”

You hummed, thinking about it. “I guess it would be strange to someone who didn’t grow up with it, but Halloween is mostly about having fun.” You smiled. “Maybe after dinner, we could go see what’s around to do for Halloween? I mean we’re just supposed to keep pretending to be on a date until the Date Stalker attacks us, right?”

“Hush.” Kaldur looked around. “Remember we are undercover.”

You laughed. Kaldur chuckled along with you. The two of you enjoyed the rest of your dinner without any interruption.

***

“Well at least they are finally looking like they are on a date,” Artemis said, shaking her head as she put down her binoculars. “But no sign of the Date Stalker yet.”

“Of course not. He’s not going to attack them in the restaurant. That goes against his MO.” Robin perched on the edge of the roof. Artemis stood next to him, both on the roof across from the restaurant. “Anything on street level, Miss M?”

M’gann was quiet for a second. Her voice came over the mind link. “Nothing here. Kaldur and (Y/N) are paying for their meal. Kid Flash is already moving to the park.” Out of the corner of Artemis’ eye, she saw M’gann in camouflage mode in the alley next to the restaurant.

“Why couldn’t we just have Kaldur and (Y/N) walk around right away? This is a waste of time.” Conner grunted through the mind link. He and Wolf were on the bioship, hiding in the park. The rest of the team deemed them too outlandish to be outside with them.

“Because then they wouldn’t discover that they are perfect for each other,” Wally retorted. “Park is clear. Perfect for the love birds. Ready to get us that pizza, Rob?”

Robin snorted. “I’m going to have to order it by the truckload for you, aren’t I?”

“Hello Megan,” M’gann said. “They’re leaving the restaurant, but they got stopped by kids in Halloween costumes.”

The team watched as Kaldur and you talked to the kids. One of the kids handled you a flyer. You talked to Kaldur excitedly. He smiled, love sick. Eventually, you both started walking in the opposite direction of the park.

“Wait, where are they going?” Robin snapped. “Miss M, connect them to the mind link.”

“No!” Wally’s voice echoed through the mind link. Artemis covered her ears on reflex. “It will ruin the date magic.”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Robin tensed, running to jump across roofs to catch up with you and Kaldur. Artemis struggled to keep up.

“Robin, slow down. Not all of us are good at this height, okay?” Artemis panted, almost stumbling over the edge of one of the roofs. Robin slowed once he came to the street.

M’gann giggled. “It’s okay. (Y/N) dropped the flyer so I could get it. They’re going to a haunted house.”

Wally laughed over the mindlink. “Shut up, Kid Flash,” Conner growled.

“See? It’s not bad.” Artemis leaned on her knees, still catching her breath. “How do you move that fast?”

“Miss M, what’s the address? We need to move into position.” Robin ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.

“At least they aren’t going off to make out somewhere,” Wally teased, sensing Robin’s tension.

“Pervert.” Conner grunted. Wally gasped before starting in on how he was not a pervert. Artemis laughed, nudging Robin. A smile crept onto Robin’s lips.

***

Kaldur bit his lip, eyeing you as you both walked down the street into an neighborhood. “Do you know where we are going, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, the kids said the haunted house was over here. Apparently, it’s a local thing.” A trash can banged behind you. You jumped, grabbing Kaldur’s hand.

Kaldur blushed. His hand stayed limp in your grasp for a moment before his fingers tightened around yours. Your hand was cold. “Are you cold? Your hand is freezing.”

“I’m fine.” You smiled at him sheepishly, but you didn’t pull your hand away. “The others should know we changed plans and adapted.”

“We should not have changed plans.” Kaldur glanced around. “This may get dangerous.”

You waved your free hand. “Stop looking so nervous. Besides, it’s more natural for us to change out plans if we were really on a date.” You bit your lip. Kaldur realized at the moment that he had been staring at your lips for quite some time. He looked away quickly. “It’s kinda weird those kids only seemed to talk to us though, isn’t it?”

“Strange, yes.” Kaldur tightened his fingers around yours. “It was like they were waiting for us.”

You shivered. “Well, at least I’m showing you something to do on Halloween. Haunted houses are fun, even if this is just one in someone’s garage.” The two of you turned a corner to find a nicely decorated house with a line of people outside. “You’ve never been to a haunted house before, have you?”

Kaldur blinked, taking in the surroundings. “No, but I do understand the concept.” You pulled Kaldur to get in line. When you got to the table, you dug into your pocket for a few dollars to donate as admission. He frowned when he noticed a suspicious figure in the shadows. “(Y/N), I think we may have gotten some attention.”

“Good.” You led him toward the haunted house, joining the line to go in. From your pocket, you removed two glowstick bracelets. You cracked one and put it around Kaldur’s wrist. “Hope the team can see these.” You put the other one on your wrist.

“Interesting.” Kaldur stared at the bracelet. “I do not know why we could not use comlink or at the very least the mind link.”

You shrugged. “Honestly, it confuses me too.” A smile grew on your lips. “At least we’ll have a souvenir from the mission.”

“Kid will be jealous.” Kaldur smiled back at you. “(Y/N), I am...pleased I was put on this mission with you.”

Your eyes sparkled. Kaldur’s heart skipped a beat. “Me too.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Kaldur froze. “Come on, it’s our turn.” You took his hand and pulled him inside the creepy, dark haunted house.

***

“Oh my god. (Y/N) just kissed Kaldur’s cheek.” Artemis almost dropped her binoculars.

“And they put on the glowsticks, so the Date Stalker is onto them,” Conner said bluntly. Artemis was on the roof of the house next door. Conner joined her as it had been decided he could finally leave the bio ship.

M’gann squealed. “They kissed!”

“Pizza here we come!” Wally cheered.

“I knew they would feel the aster.” Robin laughed, swinging onto the roof of the garage. “Any visual of the Date Stalker?”

“No, but (Y/N) and Kaldur entered the haunted house.” Artemis frowned. The team waited for about five minutes, but you and Kaldur didn’t exit the haunted house.

Conner tensed. “I heard (Y/N) scream.”

“Move in,” Robin ordered, sobering. “Miss M, connect Kaldur and (Y/N) to the mind link. I don’t care if we mess with their date.” The team moved in.

***

“Sorry,” you said as Kaldur groaned beneath you.

“It is alright.” The pressure of your weight on him lit his entire body on fire. He swallowed hard. “Are you alright?”

You rolled off him, rubbing your head. “I think I bumped my head.” The room was only lit with the glow from your bracelets. “Did the floor just give out or something?”

Kaldur sat up. His back ached from the fall. “It appears so.” He glanced around. “The reports said the Date Stalker tries to isolate their victims. This could be one of their tactics. Lure people into the haunted house and trap the ones they want.”

“Crap.” You hissed, rubbing your temple. “I don’t feel good at all.”

Kaldur reached to touch your temple, but stopped when lights suddenly came on the room. Both of you were blind. “One short sleep past, we wake eternally And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die,” a voice echoed into the room.

Suddenly, gas filled the room. “Stay close to the floor.” You pushed Kaldur back down, half laying on him. “The gas should rise first.”

Kaldur’s eyes adjusted. He caught a seam of the trap door that dropped the both of you in here. “I have an idea.” He took out his water-bearers that were hidden in his shirt.

“Kaldur, (Y/N), where are you?” M’gann asked over the mindlink.

“We fell through a trap door. (Y/N) is injured and toxic gas is filling the room.” Kaldur activated his water-bearers into a whip and threw it at the trap door in the ceiling. It broke through the wooden door easily.

“I’m fine.” You tried to get to your feet, but stumbled, holding your head.

“They are not fine.” Kaldur wrapped his arm around you. “We need an extraction now.”

Robin’s creepy laugh filled the room. “You two seem comfortable.” The gas disappeared out of the broken trapdoor. He appeared beside you and Kaldur.

“Miss Martian, Superboy, use your abilities, find the Date Stalker. Artemis, call the authorities. Robin, help me get (Y/N) out of here.” Kaldur took charge. His arm stayed around you. Robin took your other arm. He smiled cheekily.

“What are you smiling about?” You blinked several times, unable to keep your balance.

Robin nodded to Kaldur’s arm. You blushed. “And it’s nice to have Kaldur in charge again.”

Kaldur hummed, taking Robin’s grapple gun from him to use it to help you up. Throughout the escape and the capture of the Date Stalker, Kaldur never left your side.

***

“It’s just a minor concussion, Kaldur. I’m fine.” You walked to your room at the cave. Kaldur hovered beside you, his hand holding yours.

“I do not want you to fall again, (Y/N).” Kaldur studied you worriedly. He helped you into your room and sat you down on your bed. His face burned when he saw your messy bedroom.

You smiled shyly, laying down. “I enjoyed myself today before...you know, falling and getting a concussion.”

Kaldur bit his lip. “I did as well.” He stood awkwardly beside your bed. Part of him knew he should leave, but the other part wouldn’t let him.

“I still am going to take you to celebrate Halloween with me. We’ll go to a real haunted house where we won’t walk into a death trap, maybe carve a pumpkin or two.” You closed your eyes, smiling lazily.

“I would enjoy that.” He slowly sat down on the edge of your bed. You reached out to take his hand.

“Thank you.” You whispered before your hand relaxed, going limp in his.

Kaldur’s heart skipped a beat, staying where he was. He squeezed your hand. “You are welcome, (Y/N).” He leaned down to kiss your cheek before pulling away and leaving your room.

Noise from the kitchen brought him there, he frowned in confusion at the sight of what was happening inside. Boxes of pizza were piled on the kitchen table. The rest of the team were sitting around, pigging out. “What is this?” Kaldur asked, stepping into the room.

“Rob just kept his promise,” Wally said with his mouth full. Artemis elbowed him, glaring.

“So you and (Y/N), huh?” M’gann giggled, leaning into Conner’s side.

Kaldur blinked. “You all planned this to occur, did you not?”

Robin snorted, getting another slice of pizza. “Well, we had to do something. You two weren’t going to get together on your own and there is only so much we can take.”

The rest of the team laughed. Kaldur shook his head before joining them. He knew he should be mad, but he had to admit, he was grateful for their interference.

#kaldur #kaldur x reader #kaldur imagine #kaldur'ahm #kaldur'ahm x reader #kaldur'ahm imagine #aqualad #aqualad x reader #aqualad imagine #dc comics imagines #dc reader insert #young justice #young justice imagines #yj imagines #halloween

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rosesgonerogue · 4 years ago

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I didn’t so much fall in love - It kicked me in the face Chapter One

Everyone had thought that Marinette was crazy for choosing Gotham as the first city in America to accept a high-profile job, specifically a job that would require her in person. Despite all of the logical arguments against it, however, Marinette could feel it in her bones that this was where she was supposed to be. It felt like divine intervention beyond that of the usual kwami antics in her life.

At that very moment, though, she had never wanted to curse the universe more.

She tore through the unfamiliar streets, heart hammering in her chest. She wanted to shout his name, scream it from the rooftops, but she knew all too well justs how dangerous that would be. After all, she’d only just barely gotten away from the Scarecrow herself.

“Tikki, where is he?” Marinette whispered, tears stinging her eyes. “I can’t lose him, I just…”

“We will find him, Marinette,” she said, determined. “He can’t have gone far, and he knows how to keep himself safe. You’re still emotional from the fear toxin.”

“But Gotham is so dangerous! I knew I should have left him home.”

The kwami did her best to comfort the guardian, but she felt the same desperation growing with every minute.

“He wouldn’t have gone this far, Tikki, what if he-”

“Maman!”

As she whipped around, Marinette’s frantic, fear-toxin addled mind locked onto two facts: her precious son was alive and well, and he was in the clutches of a costumed man.

She felt her heart rate spike, and everything she had learned and experienced as Ladybug boiled down to this one moment. In short, the man never stood a chance.

“Ma’am, I-”

As the stranger spoke, Marinette pivoted on her right heel, her left heel colliding with the man’s jaw with a sickening crunch. It was too fast for the average eye to see, and the man was felled in a moment, going down with a strangled grunt.

Gathering Leo into her arms, she sprinted away, heartbeat still hammering in her chest.

“Maman, he’s nice,” Leo said in French. “He helped me, we were looking for you. He’s a hero, like Ladybug.”

“Marinette, you really need to go make sure he’s okay!” Tikki said, distressed. “If you explain about the fear toxin, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Finally her feet began to falter, the exercise further clearing the toxin from her mind. She squeezed Leo in her arms, horror mounting. “Oh no. I just roundhouse kicked one of Gotham’s vigilantes, didn’t I?”

“I think so, Marinette.”

It felt like a walk of shame, but when she made it back to the vigilante, he had at least propped himself up against a nearby wall. He was groaning, clutching his jaw.

“Excuse me, Monsieur?” she said hesitantly. “I, uh, I’m the one who ki- oh no, is your jaw dislocated? I am so sorry! I didn’t- I mean, I just, there was fear toxin from Scarecrow, and I’m not from Gotham, and I was so worried about my son, and… I’ll stop talking now. I’ve fixed dislocated jaws before. May I help you?”

The vigilante - through process of elimination, he must be Red Robin - stared up at her with wide eyes. He didn’t exactly say no, so Marinette kneeled down beside him.

“The pain will get a lot better once I’m done,” she promised, discreetly harnessing the barest traces of magic to help this go smoothly. She’d done this for Chat Noir more than once, and as Guardian of the Miraculous, she had access to more than a little bit of healing magic. Red Robin looked more uneasy by the second, so Marinette just went for it.

Sliding her fingers into the right position, she pushed down on his back teeth, simultaneously guiding his jaw back up into place, a burst of magic taking the brunt of the pain from him.

Red Robin jerked backwards, working his jaw a few times. “Thank you?”

“I am so sorry!” Marinette repeated, standing and offering a hand to help up the vigilante. “There will still be a bruise for a few days. I promise I don’t make a habit of kicking vigilantes in the face.”

He stood with her help, only looking a little dizzy. “Don’t worry about it, there were extenuating circumstances. If you don’t mind me asking, though, where are you from? If Gotham’s civilians were half as deadly as you are, our streets would be a lot safer.”

“Paris, sir. My son Leo and I just arrived here tonight, actually. We were on our way to our hotel when we were caught up in one of Scarecrow’s attacks and I told him to run and hide. Does that mean you found him?”

“Yes ma’am. You have a very well-behaved son,” he said, careful to keep his posture as harmless as possible. “And while you are obviously a capable defender, it would help me put my mind at ease if you let me walk you to where you’re staying.”

She hoisted Leo up into her arms, the familiar weight soothing her. “Are you sure you want to? I very nearly broke your jaw five minutes ago.”

“And you put everything back where it should be. Now where are you staying?

*************************

Tim couldn’t deny that he was intrigued by the woman in front of him. Not to mention she was attractive, but doubtlessly married. Anyone that wonderful in general had to be taken.

What he fixated on, though, was her skill. Thinking her child was in danger would definitely be grounds for an adrenaline rush, but her movements were too controlled and practiced for it to be a fluke. Tim couldn’t have dodged her if he had tried. He didn’t think any of his brothers could have either, maybe not even Bruce.

She was staying in a nicer hotel in Gotham, owned by Bruce, of course. When they arrived, Tim couldn’t stop himself from lingering in front of the hotel longer than strictly necessary, trying to do something, anything to understand the woman before him. He stayed in the shadows until they were out of sight, and even then he stayed a while yet, staring at where she had stood.

The rest of his patrol was short, and he got back home about the same time as the others. When he slipped in, Jason was in the middle of telling Dick a story.

“-and so I went in thinking it would be a normal hostage situation, but no. Right before I can get in, the door flies open and this girl runs out like a bat out of hell. She just vanishes into the night without a trace. I go in and the Riddler is already trussed up like a pig for the slaughter. I swear, I could marry that girl.”

“Was she French?” Tim demanded, blatantly eavesdropping.

Jason turned to meet his eyes, scrutinizing his brother. “And how would you know that, replacement?”

“I ran into her after that. She has a kid, and I found him. She dislocated my jaw when she thought I was trying to take him.”

Damian snorted. “Did she damage your delicate ego along with your delicate face?”

“Isn’t it your bedtime?” Tim fired back. “After all, it is a school night and we know how much you need your beauty sleep.”

“She really dislocated your jaw?” Dick asked, looking thoughtful.

“With a roundhouse kick. She put it back into place too.”

“Not just anyone can do that. Maybe we need to keep a closer eye on this girl.”

“We can do some research tomorrow,” Bruce said, appearing out of thin air. “Go to sleep, all of you. Tomorrow we have the meeting with MDC and we need to make a good impression. Tim, that includes you. No more caffeine until you’ve had at least six hours of sleep.”

Normally Tim would have chafed under Bruce’s orders - he was a grown man and CEO of Wayne Enterprises, after all. But for once he felt like he could actually sleep, without nightmares, even.

He was meeting his favorite fashion designer tomorrow, after all. For some reason his thoughts were consumed by a certain French woman, however. Just before he drifted off to sleep, he idly wondered what color her eyes were.

A/N: I'd never really experienced being baby-hungry before, and then quarantine happened and I wasn't able to see my nieces and nephews for over a month. During that time a good number of my friends announced that they were pregnant, and I miss being surrounded by children. This is super self-indulgent, so I don't really take criticism. If this isn't your cup of tea, move along. Also don't be surprised if you see more kid fics coming your way. I have had entirely too much time missing the children in my life, so I also have a Daminette thing partially written, and several other ideas screaming at me. If you want to be tagged, let me know!

#timinette #maribat #marinette x tim

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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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lordmartiya · 3 years ago

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lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 2: Sick

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

Second part, after a timeskip where Lila has been friends with Marinette in her own unique way. And we get my comments about how the show handled a certain love story, and my solution to Volpina’s anomaly.

06/21: Sick

The previous day had been quite a trip, what with Luka getting Akumatized with truth-forcing powers and demanding to know Marinette’s secret. That the girls thought was her crush on Adrien. Lila, on the other hand, had some fun by flat-out telling him it wasn’t his business, the experience in lying and the anti-truth serum conditioning she had been given due her mother’s job combining to have her tell something that was truthful yet nothing Truth, Luka, or the Bowtie Terrorist (that pun never failed to get a laugh out of Marinette) wanted to know. The discovery Jagged Stone had a child from her former guitarist, on the other hand, had caught her by surprise – she had thought he’d be more careful. Then again Lila was a diplomat’s daughter, closer in carefulness to that Count of Fersen that had seduced half the noblewomen of Europe and even the Queen of France and managed to die childless, not a rockstar.

Then Marinette entered the class just in time, and after looking at her once Lila knew exactly what she had to do: “Ms. Bustier, Marinette’s overworking finally got her sick, I’m bringing her back home for the day.”

“I’m well!” Marinette protested.

“Oh, look, Rose Bride.”

Marinette turned where Lila had been pointing to, her stress making her forget that Chevalot was still at the hospital and Papillon had not Akumatized her since (though one of Mr Pigeon’s appearances had resulted in his birds discharging on her right as she came out of the tribunal), thus proving the Italian’s point. She didn’t make resistance as the Italian brought her back home and to her room – with most of the Adrien pictures long replaced by ones of her friends, Lila having helped taking them down… And relocating them into Tsurugi Kagami’s room as a prank, her ability to speak Japanese with the pattern traditionally attributed to kitsune and a precise description of the prank helping her getting the collaboration of her mother.

“So, should I call your boyfriend and have him take care of you?” Lila teased Marinette after tucking her in. And getting caught by surprise when Marinette flinched.

“We broke up.” Marinette explained. “I-I told him I couldn’t tell- Nevermind, we broke up.”

Lila pinched her nose. If nothing else, that explained how Marinette had been pushed over the edge. As she thought about that, though, she couldn’t help but utter: “Seriously, just because you couldn’t tell him you’re one of Ladybug’s interns?”

“Wait, what?”

“Mapporca… You disappear at any Akuma attack, lie, lie, about why, and you’re too creative to wear Ladybug’s plain suit, the conclusion was obvious: you’re one of the temporary heroes and dodged Miracle Queen, at every attack you go to whatever place Ladybug told you to wait so if she needs help she’ll lend you a Miraculous. There’s nothing wrong with keeping this a secret, just the fact you told him you had it was an incredible sign of trust…”

“You mean it?”

“You weren’t cheating on him or planning other betrayals, and those would have been the only secret he was entitled to find out without your approval. It’s even in the word, its a secret because it’s called a secret, why would anyone try and find out?”

“For the last time, it’s you who are weird!” Trixx said as he came out of the weird Ladybug-themed box.

“For the last time, Trixx-” Lila started to reply as she turned, then she registered that TRIXX THE KWAMI WAS IN MARINETTE’S ROOM AND HAD COME OUT OF THE WEIRD LADYBUG-SHAPED BOX. And two other Kwamis, a red one and a green one, were trying to drag him back into hiding. And that was enough for Lila to break through the Quantum Masking – and put her right hand on her face.

“I went full Countess of Montecristo on someone for months and it turns out she was just neurotic when she offended me…” she stated. “What’s happening here? And most importantly, why do you have such an unimaginative costume?”

They exchanged explanations. On how Marinette had been bullied into near-depression by Chloè until she was given the Ladybug Miraculous and got the confidence to stand up to her and the other issues – including how the Miracle Queen debacle had resulted in the last Guardian (incompletely trained at that) sacrificing his memories to keep the Miraculous out of Papillon’s hands. In turn Lila admitted she had been telling the truth when claiming to Adrien her grandmother had been the holder of the Fox Miraculous and had trained her to succeed her as a heroine – that being how she could get around the limitations when Akumatized, she knew a spell that mimicked Mirage and was using that in place of the real thing – something she had done for a while her uncle found what kind of entertainment she used her illusions for, took away her Miraculous and sent it to the Guardian, and admitted that, in her quest for vengeance, she had been working with Papillon – though with plans to take him down at the end.

“This little trick will take him out on the spot.” she concluded, showing the Alsetex 410 she always carried for defense among things for less tough opponents.

“Marinette, I’m going with this idiot to make sure she keeps a conscience until she redevelops one.” Trixx said.

“You do that.” Marinette said as she took the aspirin Lila had offered her.

“Can I take Alya then?” the Pig Kwami asked.

Before Lila could ask what Marinette had been thinking when she gave the one Miraculous that, once mastered, allows to see through Quantum Masking to someone who wanted to know and expose her secret identity the Ladyblog announced a new Akuma attack.

“Why did you throw her an engine block?” Marinette asked as Lila was tucking her in after dealing with Lies – AKA Tsurugi Kagami (whose personal name was still ridiculous to Lila, as “Kagami” in Italian and Spanish sounds like “shit me”, thank you very much) upset at her relationship troubles with Adrien.

“Because whole cars are designed with crumple zones to increase the safety of the occupants that make poor projectiles, while engine blocks are solid and dense and make excellent projectiles.” came the reply.

“I mean, why so violent?”

“Because I still hold a grudge for her becoming Onichan over less than what Bourgeois did to the fanclub without getting any of them Akumatized, because today I don’t want to keep you out there more than necessary, and because I spotted Alya and this way I’m establishing a narrative that won’t get her hurt over being replaced, one that features the heroine Volpina retiring after the mess with the Evrees out of PTSD and returning because there’s just no time for Rena Rouge to become as competent as needed.”

“And what did you show her?”

“Bourgeois’ little movie, the one that decimated Adrien’s fan club.” the one where she had her minion film her reading at Adrien those desert puns from Asterix and Cleopatra and getting him on his knees from the laughter. “Tsurugi is still convinced that Adrien’s facade is the real thing, if she find out early she was wrong there’s a chance the inevitable break-up won’t be too bad.”

“But-”

“Inevitable. Now rest, I want you back in shape.”

Unseen and unheard by the two humans, Tikki and Trixx were talking about something the former had noticed about her Chosen – namely a suddenly increased willingness to put up with Lila’s (admittedly now more subdued) antics.

“People tend to believe what they want to hear, Tikki.” Trixx explained. “And Lila just said what Marinette wanted and needed to hear.”

“It can’t be that simple, Marinette is too smart, too mature.”

“Poyais.”

That single word left Tikki looking at Trixx in horror, reminding her how just how gullible people can be in the right situation.

“Hey, don’t worry, Lila always had limits on what she’s willing to do, especially when she doesn’t feel threatened, and I know her buttons. She’s no danger to Marinette. If anything, Marinette could become a danger to Lila’s virtue.”

#lilanette #lilabug #ladypina #volpinette #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculousladybug #miraculous lb #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Lila Rossi

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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years ago

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RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

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avis-writeshq · 5 years ago

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Bakugou Katsuki x Reader: In Case You Didn’t Know

Requested: By myself

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Summary: As far as everyone could tell, you were friends with Bakugou. The two of you had quite the history, after all. But when one is never able to convey his feelings, things can take quite a turn.

Warnings: Coarse language (I mean, it’s Bakugou), fluff, a bit of angst, trash writing

Other: For mah good friend @lyz-fics who needs a heck ton of comforting because sChoOL. Also loosely based off of the song ‘In Case You Didn’t Know’! Oh, and whipped this baby up in half-an-hour so don’t hate meh

Word count: 1,738

Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

(N/N): Nickname

***

As far as everyone could tell, you were friends with Bakugou. It was true that you hung around him quite often, always cheering him on during fights and standing by him whenever there was something going on. It came to the point where many believed you and Bakugou were a thing until he shot that idea down quite harshly. You were basically a stray puppy following the person who gave you food and the unlucky person just happened to be him. In all honesty, the male had actually grown accustomed to you being around him. He certainly made a use for you, too.

There were multiple times where he made you be his ‘errand girl’. In other words, kind of a slave. He would order you around saying, “Get me some water!” or, “I asked for luke-fucking-warm! Who the fuck drinks freezing cold water?!”

There were multiple occasions where Momo or Ashida asked why you even bothered with Bakugou. Your answer was always the same.

“I want to support him in any way I can. He and Izuku are my good friends. Even if my quirk isn’t strong for battles, I can still help out with healing!”

Unfortunately for you, despite always being the one to cheer him up, you would sometimes end up on the receiving end of Bakugou’s wrath. Usually, it was nothing crazy, just him ranting and complaining about the class.

“FUCKING DEKU!” Bakugou yelled one day as he stormed into his dorm. Throwing his glass of water to the ground, you made a mental note to always use a water bottle when giving him his water.

You raised an eyebrow, barely looking up from the book you were reading. “What happened this time, Katsuki-Kun?”

“Does he take me for a fucking fool?”

“You’re acting quite foolish at the moment,” you drawled, suppressing the smile that was trying to stretch across your face.

He grunted angrily, sounding between an angry pig or a pooping cow. You didn’t bother saying anything more as you placed your book down and began to gather the broken glass. Katsuki did a double-take. Did he seriously think that you would get away with picking up glass with your bare hands?

“Oi, what the fuck are you doing, idiot?”

You blinked. “I’m cleaning the mess that you made…?”

He ran a hand through his unruly hair. “You’re gonna get hurt, dumbass. Use a broom or something.”

“It’s carpet,” you deadpanned, continuing to pick up the pieces of glass only to have one prick into your skin. You hissed, drawing your hand back. It was drawing a little bit of blood, and there was no doubt a small shard of glass embedded into your skin.

“See, what the fuck did I tell you?”

You sighed, “I can heal myself.”

“There’s a piece of glass in your hand. You tryna get infected or something?”

“Baku-“

You were cut off by him lifting you up and forcing you to sit down, grabbing a pair of tweezers from his first aid kit. “Hold still, dammit.”

“I can handle- hey, that hurts!”

“Well, I got the fucking glass out! Now say thank you.”

You sighed. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll ask Iida for a vacuum.”

With that, you walked out of the dorm room. Meanwhile, Bakugou was trying to ease his rapidly beating heart. God, why did you have to put yourself into dangerous situations like that? Were you trying to make him worry or something? He wiped his face to calm himself down. Dammit.

***

Bakugou had no filter. And this was one of his… not so good moments. He was pissed. Up to the point where Kirishima, Ashida, Jiro and the others were too scared to go into the common room. The door was cracked open slightly, and they all peaked through waiting for Bakugou to go back into his dorm or faint from exhaustion. That’s how you came upon the scene. You wanted to get your notebook to show Izuku different costume designs when you were bombarded with requests.

“(Y/N), Bakugou is going crazy!” Sero exclaimed, not giving you a chance to say something.

Ashida nodded, “Yeah! He’s not letting us go into our dorms! I just want to take a freaking shower!”

“He’s getting in the way of our schedules!” Iida said, chopping the air with his hand. “If this keeps happening, the teachers will end up getting involved!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They were acting as if Bakugou was some crazy monster or something; in reality, he can be a real softie sometimes. You were sure that there was just a small misunderstanding between him and one of his classmates.

The students led you to the door of the common room, and you couldn’t help but survey the damage. What the hell? A vase was broken, the TV had a crack in it and a phone was thrown promptly across the room.

“So this is what you do when I’m not around.” You remarked, drawing the attention of Bakugou who was sulking on the couch.

“No my fault everyone is acting like a piece of shit,” Kutsuki grumbled, “Fucking extras.”

“What did they do?” You asked gently, glancing at the TV that was very much needing a replacement.

He didn’t say anything. This probably meant it was really stupid.

Tapping your foot on the ground and crossing your arms over chest, you gave him a pointed look. “They didn’t do anything, did they?”

“I’M TELLING YOU THEY DID!”

“You didn’t tell me anything,” you argued.

“If you’re gonna act like that, why don’t you just run along with fucking Deku?”

You blinked. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“WELL, I DON’T NEED YOU! I DON’T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP OKAY?!”

Silence. There was no doubt the other students heard his outburst from behind the door. “Is that how you really feel?”

“Wait-”

It must have dawned on him. The look on his face said so, anyway. He looked like he was going to punch himself.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

And with your tears brimming in your eyes, you stormed out of the room, Uraraka catching your arm. She looked like she was about to say something but you cut her off. “The common room will be empty in 5 minutes. Count on it.”

You were right.

***

3 weeks. You had been ignoring Bakugou for 3 weeks. It was getting to the point where even Aizawa felt as if something was up. Hell, you even went up to him to ask if you could swap seats with Aoyama who was the furthest away from him and closest to the door. It was a strange request coming from you; you were always sitting directly next to Bakugou – why did you want to change now? Tsuyu was also concerned, and as your closest friend besides Katsuki, she knew something was going on between the two of you.

Mina was doing her best not to push you together because she knew you would kill her for that. But the tension in the air was unbearable. You were always the one initiating conversations, so that was why the classroom was always so lively in the morning. For the past couple of weeks, there was only obvious tension as Bakugou got angrier and angrier.

‘What are you doing talking to stupid Deku? Why the hell are you laughing with him? Is he better company than I am?’ he thought to himself, glaring at the wall.

That’s when he heard it.

“Hey, (Y/N), what’s up with you and Kacchan?”

The room froze. Mina and Ochako were right by your side, while Asui grabbed a bar of chocolate for you. You just smiled. “Nothing’s up.”

“But aren’t you guys close? I thought you were together or something…” Midoriya continued, ignoring the warning looks from Momo.

“No, not really. And we’re not together.”

That was the last straw. Storming across the classroom, Bakugou had grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the room, ignoring Iida’s complaints about it being 5 minutes until class.

“Hey! What are you-”

“Just shut up already!”

You tugged your arm away from him, rubbing your wrist lightly. “What do you want?”

He flinched at his steely tone, eyes fixed on your wrist. “Did I hurt you?”

Scoffing, you shifted your footing so that you were leaning on your back leg. “It’s not the first time.”

“Why are you talking to Deku?”

“What’s wrong with me talking to him? He’s my friend, Bakugou.”

He can’t remember the last time you called him by his last name. Has it really been that long ago? “I didn’t mean what I said,” he mumbled, a tinge of red on the apples of his cheeks.

“What did you mean? My friendship wasn’t something you wanted, I get it. I just thought that you would have… I don’t know… been more comfortable with me after time.” You rolled your eyes preparing to walk back to your class. “Apparently, that’s not the case.”

“I am comfortable around you!” He yelled suddenly, his face getting redder. “Why do you have to make it so… so hard?!”

“I make it hard? I’ve been helping you for the past year! I’ve been cheering you on, helping you train, healed you. What did I do that is so bad?!”

Despite the rapid beating of his heart, Katsuki took your hand and pulled you towards him so that you collided with his chest. With your ear pressed directly against his chest, he tried to calm himself down. “Ya hear that? That is what you do to me.”

You felt your face burn as you listened to his heartbeat. It was quick, slightly uneven, and his chest rose and fell with his breaths.

“Do you like me?”

His breath was caught in his throat. Shit. He buried his face in your neck. “Yeah. I do.”

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moulinrougefanfanfans · 5 years ago

Photo

Moulin Rouge for VOGUE!

(These are the HQ Photo Versions!)

Moulin Rouge!’s Broadway cast, photographed at Kings Theatre in Brooklyn. Sittings Editors: Hamish Bowles, Alexandra Cronan. Produced by 360pm. Set Design: CJ Dockery at Mary Howard Studio; Costume Designer: Catherine Zuber; Choreographer: Sonya Tayeh

Photographed by Baz Luhrmann, Vogue, July 2019

July 2019 Vogue (Online)

BAZ LUHRMANN WAS BORN to reinvent the movie musical for a new generation—which is exactly what he did in 2001 with Moulin Rouge!, his deliriously romantic mash-up, set in 1890s Paris, of La Bohème, La Traviata, and the Orpheus myth, with a soundtrack that exploded with modern-day pop songs, lavish Technicolor sets and costumes (by his wife, Catherine Martin), and a hyperkinetic cinematic style that drew on MGM musicals, MTV videos, and Bollywood spectaculars. The motto of this blatantly artificial world, served with a knowing wink (which nevertheless swept us up in its very real, very breathless emotions), could be borrowed from William Blake’s The Marriage of Heaven and Hell: “Enough! Or too much.”

In his own way, the brilliant theater director Alex Timbers—whose work includes Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, Here Lies Love, and, most recently, Beetlejuice—was born to reinvent Moulin Rouge! for the stage, as another generation of New York audiences will discover when his electrifying, eye-popping, and blissfully over-the-top adaptation of Luhrmann’s masterpiece opens on Broadway, after a smash run in Boston, this month.

“I’ve spent my life taking classics and interpreting them in radical ways,” Luhrmann says, “so how could I not applaud someone taking a work of mine and interpreting it in a radical way? You have to interpret things for the time and place you’re in. In the end, it’s still a tragic opera, but Alex applies himself to it in such a dexterous way that there’s irony and fun and music and emotion.”

Luhrmann grew up in Herons Creek, a tiny, remote Australian town with a total of seven houses in it, where, he says, “if you didn’t have a good imagination and an ability to create worlds in your mind, you were lost.” Fortunately his family, which ran a gas station and a pig farm, also ran the local movie theater and had a black-and-white TV set (which showed exactly one channel), and Luhrmann devoured a steady diet of old movies, including musicals, with which he fell in love. His mother was a ballroom-dance instructor who started giving him lessons early, and his father insisted that Luhrmann and his siblings study painting and music. Before long he was staging little shows, performing magic tricks, making films with his father’s 8-millimeter camera, and acting in school plays.

Apparently it was the ideal upbringing to produce an artist of dazzling originality, one with a singular, idiosyncratic vision and an expansive playing field: film, theater, opera, commercials, music videos, pop songs. After the success of his first two films, Strictly Ballroom and Romeo + Juliet—both of which had healthy doses of movie-musical DNA encoded into their cinematic language—Luhrmann wanted to take on the genre itself. He and his co-writer, Craig Pearce, set their film in Belle Epoque Paris, in and around the legendary Moulin Rouge nightclub, telling a tragic love story straight out of verismo opera with the Orpheus legend—a young poet and musician travels to the underworld in search of his dead love, Eurydice, and is reunited with her only to lose her again, emerging forever changed—as its mythical underpinning.

But Luhrmann also had what he calls a “preposterous conceit” that allowed his Orpheus—a Bohemian poet named Christian, played by Ewan McGregor—to metaphorically enchant the very rocks and stones to follow him because of his voice: “When our poet opens his mouth, ‘The hills are alive with the sound of music’ comes out of it,” he says. “Whether you like The Sound of Music or not, it’s a giant hit that’s got artistic cred—so it’s a funny, concise way of saying ‘The guy has magic.’” Preposterous or not, the conceit turned the love story between McGregor’s Christian and Nicole Kidman’s doomed Satine, a nightclub star and courtesan, into a pop fantasia, giving the music its audience had grown up with—from “Your Song” to “Lady Marmalade”—an operatic grandeur.

Luhrmann had long wanted to bring Moulin Rouge! to the stage but felt that he wasn’t the right person for the job—he worried that he was too close to the material and might be overprotective of it. Enter Alex Timbers, 40, a downtown wunderkind who has brought the cheeky, postmodern spirit of his theater company Les Freres Corbusier to Broadway and shares with Luhrmann a restlessly playful and inventive mise-en-scène. “When I saw Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, I could tell that his aesthetic and the way he told a story—very high-energy, very theatrical, ironic but also moving—had a certain kinship with mine,” Luhrmann says. “And after I met him, I knew that he would have his own interpretation but also understand the language of the film.”

The biggest challenge Timbers and his team faced was how to bring the film’s hypercinematic exuberance alive on a stage. “We had to create a visceral and kinetic excitement using an entirely theatrical vocabulary,” Timbers says. “We don’t have any of those virtuosic techniques like close-ups and Steadicam and music video–style editing, but you want the show to be able to leap over the footlights—emotionally, but also as a spectacle. So we use a lot of techniques to do that.”

Do they ever. From the moment you enter the theater, it’s clear that Timbers has realized his mandate to make the show—which he’s been working on for the past six years—“360.” It’s as if you’ve walked into the Moulin Rouge itself, courtesy of the gorgeously overwhelming set (by Derek McLane) that greets you: There are hearts within hearts, chandeliers, the stage flanked by a windmill on one side and an elephant on the other. Then out come the corset-clad boys and girls of the night (who come in all colors, shapes, and sizes) and the fashionable members of the Parisian demimonde in Catherine Zuber’s fabulous costumes. The next thing you know, “Four Bad Ass Chicks from the Moulin Rouge,” as the script identifies them—propelled onstage by Sonya Tayeh’s wildly exuberant choreography—are belting “Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista,” and we’re off to the races. “I wanted to build this exotic, intoxicating world that felt beautiful and dangerous and gritty and sexy,” Timbers says. “It felt really important for the sets and the costumes to use period elements, and for us to be ruthless about that, but to put them in a form that feels contemporary and surprising.”

The seven-time Tony-winning costume designer Zuber (The King and I, My Fair Lady) has done that and then some, tipping her hat to Catherine Martin’s designs for the film without imitating them. She’s even managed to design Belle Epoque finery that allows the dancers the freedom of movement to execute Tayeh’s propulsive choreography. Zuber is also a master of using costumes to reveal character and situation, as with the ornate gown she designed for Satine after she becomes the Duke’s courtesan and enters his glittering world. Inspired by designs from John Galliano’s 2006 couture collection, it features a bodice that looks like a cage and three rows of lacing down the back. “It’s almost like she’s a prisoner,” Zuber says.

Playing Satine this time around is Karen Olivo (West Side Story, Hamilton), who brings very different qualities to the role than Kidman, both physical (Olivo is a woman of color) and temperamental (desperate, determined, and down-to-earth, as opposed to ethereal). Aaron Tveit (Next to Normal, Catch Me if You Can), meanwhile, sings like a dream and brings the requisite dewy idealism to the naive Christian, but with a hint of something edgier.

The story is very much the same as the film’s: Satine is the star attraction at the Moulin Rouge, owned by the rapacious Harold Zidler (Danny Burstein), who is in financial hot water and in danger of losing the club. Christian and Satine meet and fall head over heels, but she has been promised by Zidler to the villainous Duke (Tam Mutu), who can give her the bejeweled life she’s always dreamed of, forcing her to choose between that and true love. Meanwhile, Christian and his pals Santiago and Toulouse-Lautrec (Ricky Rojas and Sahr Ngaujah) are writing a show, bankrolled by the Duke, that is meant to save the Moulin Rouge from going under. Then, of course, Satine has this persistent cough and . . . well, you know.

The big difference in terms of the storytelling is that book writer John Logan (Red) has fleshed out and deepened the characters and the relationships between them. “We looked at the major characters, asked what their backstories were, and tried to figure out how grounded they could possibly be in psychological realism and yet still be heightened in that way that musical theater demands,” Logan says. “How did Satine get to be this sparkling diamond—and what’s the price she’s paid along the way?”

But the boldest change—and in many ways the heart of the show—is in the new songs, which give Moulin Rouge! fresh emotional resonance (and whip the crowd into a frenzy). Along with the familiar Bowie, Madonna, and Elton John tunes, expect to hear from the likes of Outkast, Sia, Beyoncé, Fun, Adele, and Lorde, to name but a few (there are more than 70 songs in the show). To curate Moulin Rouge!’s dizzying playlist, Timbers, Logan, and music director/genius Justin Levine holed up in a Times Square hotel room with a digital keyboard, dredged up their musical memories, and took note of what worked. Their taste is impeccable, whether using a song for its sheer exuberance, as with a rousing version of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance,” or to reveal a character’s inner desires, as Satine does with Katy Perry’s “Firework.”

Logan has been blown away to see how powerfully audiences have connected with the show—and the songs. “I went to a wedding recently, and when the dancing started, I heard half our score being played, which was wild,” he says. “And when you see audience members respond to the songs—‘They’re using thatsong? Oh, my God! No way!’—you can feel how excited they are. It’s an experience I’ve never had before. It’s magic.”

#moulin rouge #aaron tveit #karen olivo #danny burstein #vogue #Baz Lurhmann #moulin rouge broadway #moulin rouge musical #vogue magazine #articles #features #ricky rojas #tam mutu #sahr ngaujah #robyn hurder #jacqueline b arnold #jeigh madjus #holly james

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years ago

Text

Adopt a Pumpkin

@bnha-halloween2019 | Day 5: Pumpkin Patch | Bakugou x Koge (OC), ft. Matsuki, Natsuki and Atsuki (OCs)| Teen | Cursing, Cute Family Fluff

Art challenge: Use only THESE COLORS

Main art blog @hvalrossart

“I’m gonna find the bestest pumpkin!” Atsuki cried out excitedly, kicking his legs so aggressively in his happiness that he was nearly able to move his car seat about, even though it was strapped down tightly. “Huge!”

“You can’t get too big of one, Atsu, it has to fit in the trunk. Or, all five of ours have to fit, so we have to be equal-ish. Right, Daddy?” Natsuki leaned forward, gripping onto the shoulders of the driver’s side seat where her father was sitting. Only half paying attention to the conversation, Bakugou glanced into the backseat through the rear view mirror, noticing that his two youngest children where gazing at him expectantly.

“What’s that, squid?”

“Yes, baby.” Koge answered for him, turning a bit in the passengers side seat to address her children directly. “We all have to get normal sized pumpkins. Nothing giant, though if you really want a tiny one, then that’s fine. But only one each.”

“How big?” Atsuki’s crimson gaze moved to look at his hands as he tried to measure the length of the pumpkin, as accurately as a four year old could. “Twenty feet?”

Natsuki scoffed, flopping back to sit normally. “Twenty feet is too big! Daddy, how big is twenty feet?” Bakugou furrowed his brow at the question, unable to really think of an example to give his children. They were always so curious, so full of questions and odd conversations that he was completely unsure of what to even answer half of the time in a way that they would understand. As such, he had become quite adept at deflecting when it came to stuff he didn’t know.

“Natsu, we aren’t measuring in feet, we’re measuring in inches. We aren’t even going to measure them, we’re just looking at how big they are. And if they’re in good condition so they hold up when we carve them.” Bakugou kept his eyes on the road as he took a left turn, following the signs to the pumpkin patch they had decided on visiting. This was Atsuki’s first Halloween where he could really participate in an independent way, and so Koge and Bakugou had decided that this would be the perfect first event. Later would be his costume, though he had already settled on being an octopus for… some odd reason.

Natsuki nodded in understanding of her fathers argument, turning her attention to look out of her window. “My pumpkin has to be perfect so that I can make it scary! I want it to have fangs and evil eyes!”

“Me too, me too!” Atsuki cried out in his typical excited squeal, always hell bent on copying his siblings on anything that he could. Koge smiled, reaching back to tickle his feet, making him giggle.

“So two scary pumpkins, huh? I think mine will be cute. What about you Matsuki?” As Koge addressed her oldest son, she turned back to sit normally in her chair, hearing the pages of his book crinkle as he put it down to answer her. He was always the quiet type, stuck in his fantasy worlds during drives while his siblings caused enough ruckus to give anyone a migraine. How he could focus on reading with two obnoxious children beside him was something Koge could never understand, though she sure did wish he’d teach her his tricks.

Noticing they were getting close to their destination anyway, Matsuki placed his bookmark and closed his book, shoving it into the pouch on the back of the passenger’s side seat. “Well, I was thinking about painting mine instead of carving it. I’m… not so good at carving. The knives and stuff make me a little nervous.”

“Matsu, if you wanna be a doctor, you gotta get over being scared of knives.” Natsuki huffed as she fumbled with Atsuki’s shoes, trying to get them back on the constantly wiggling toddler. “How are you gonna do surgery on people if you’re scared?”

“Natsuki.” Bakugou grumbled in his typical ‘dad voice’, instantly getting Natsuki to pause and realize how bad she had sounded. She mumbled an apology to Matsuki, who took it with a smile and a small shake of his head.

“It’s alright, she isn’t wrong. But I just like to paint, so I thought I’d do it on the pumpkin.” The preteen gave a stretch, glad to know that soon he would be out of the car and not squished between the door and a car seat. “I was thinking about doing a monster. But a funny one.”

“I think that would be amazing, baby.” Koge turned her gaze up to her husband, who took a quick glance at her in return. “And what about you, hm?”

Bakugou sighed as he thought, giving a small shrug. “I have no idea. I’m sure I’ll think of something. But no matter what, mine’s gonna be the best.” A smirk crossed his lips as he directed the challenge towards his children, instantly gaining a gasp from his just as competitive daughter.

“No way Daddy! Mine will be the best!”

“No, no! Mine!”

Giving a chuckle as his two youngest went at it with a back and forth argument, Bakugou pulled the car into the pumpkin patch parking lot, which was really just a large rectangle of pebbles with a rickety wooden fence border. There were only a couple of other cars there, which made Bakugou feel better about not having to deal with a huge crowd. “Is there an entrance fee, Utsuro?”

“Mhmm.” Koge responded, able to see the sign near the entrance. “Looks like 500 yen per car. So just that much for all of us. Not bad.” As the car stopped, Koge got out, need to wrangle up the youngest before he took off without them.

With an annoyed grunt, Bakugou turned off the car and got out himself, placing his hand onto Natsukis head once she bounced out as well. Squatting down, he kept her attention, keeping his hand firmly in place. “Remember what we talked about. There’s a time and place for horsing around…?”

“And this is not it.” Natsuki finished the sentence, nodding in understanding. “Don’t worry Daddy, I’ll behave and I’ll help watch Atsu.” She burst out into giggles as Bakugou place a rough and playful kiss on her cheek, joined in with a ruffle of her already messy hair as he stood.

“That’s my girl. Now go on. I’m going to trust you to pick a pumpkin for me, too, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” With that, Natsuki bounded off after her older brother, who was waiting patiently by the entrance to the main farm area. Meeting up with Koge who held Atsuki on her hip, he took a moment to glance around the area, as he typically did for any new place he took his family to. It was a mostly unconscious need to scan the area for any dangers, but all he saw was a pleasant large field of hundreds of pumpkins. Thankfully, the entire area was secured with a fence, as was the small petting zoo they had off to the side. There were very few people about at this time of the day, as they had decided to go closer to dusk so they could have a literal time limit on how long they would be there. Bakugou and Koge both knew that their children could spend forever in a place like this, and dragging them home wasn’t going to be an easy task.

“Seems like a nice place.” Koge spoke softly, probably doing the exact same thing that he had been. She took his free hand into hers, tenderly lacing their fingers as they made their way to the entrance. “We’ll probably have children that smell like goats by the time we leave. You know they won’t be able to resist the-”

“Goats!” Atsuki cried out, pointing towards the petting zoo. “Mama, Daddy, look! Goats! And chickens!” He gave a couple excited bounces, though Koge was able to keep a good hold on him. “Can I pet? Can I pet them?”

“I’m sorry baby, you know that you’re allergic to them like Mommy is. We can pet the chickens and the pigs, but we can’t pet the goats, okay?”

“Yay! I like chickens more than goats. But they’re not for food, right?”

Bakugou chuckled, digging through his coat pocket to pull out the extra 500 yen to pay for entry. “No squid, these are pets. So you treat them nicely, like Socket and the other rats.”

“Yes, Daddy. I wish Socket could have come with us, she likes going on car rides.” Atsuki watched his father closely as Bakugou handed the money to the person at the entrance, thinking fondly of the family’s pet rats at home. “She could have been best friends with the chickens.”

“I’m sure she would have loved it, baby.” Koge shifted Atsuki off her hip and put him carefully on the floor next to his sister, who was nearly bursting out of her skin with excitement. After the fee was paid, the attendant opened up the entrance gate, allowing the family inside. At first, Natsuki and Atsuki both hung back anxiously, glancing up at their parents as they awaited those words.

With a smile, Koge released Bakugou’s hand and instead put her arm around his waist, cuddling into his side as his arm rested over her shoulders. “Go on then, little gremlins! Go find your pumpkins!” Excitedly, the two youngest took off running, with Matsuki following as he took on the role of babysitter as he usually did, even without directions to do so. With a happy sigh, Koge lied her head against Bakugou’s shoulder, walking with him through the rows of pumpkins and hay. “I always love this time of year… So much fun stuff for us to do together.”

Bakugou gave his typical soft grunt in agreement, shoving his free hand into his coat pocket. “The kiddos sure do love it. At least I think Matsu does? He’s so damn mellow I can’t ever tell if he’s enjoying himself or not.”

Koge giggled softly, carefully stepping over a tiny pumpkin that was in her way. “Of course he is. He’s just getting older, you know, to where more childish things like this don’t really entertain him as much as they used to.”

“You think this is childish, Utsuro?”

“I- well, no, not necessarily. I mean, unless you’re just having the time of your life, we can consider this a total adult centered event. Just needs some wine.” Bringing their walking to a stop, she moved to stand in front of him, wrapping both arms around him. “Thank you for taking the day off to come out here. I know it’s not easy to get away.”

Bakugou leaned in to kiss her sweetly, one hand on her side while the other caressed the back of her neck softly. “I wouldn’t miss it. Besides, tomorrow morning my parents are coming to pick them up for the weekend. So guess what?”

Koge smiled, feeling her face flush from the snarky smirk that crossed his lips. “You took the whole weekend off, too?”

“The whole weekend. So I get you all to myself.” Bakugou kissed her again, letting his fingers run through her hair. “Then we’ll really have an adult centered event. And a lot of wine.” Before he could move in to kiss her again, the pitter-patter of speedy little child feet caught his attention, looking down as Atsuki came running up to them, holding something against his chest.

“Mama, Daddy, I found my pumpkin!” He stopped next to them, huffing and puffing from running. Released her husband, Koge squatted down in front of Atsuki, resting her arms on her knees. “Oh yeah? What’cha got there?”

Holding out his arms, he presented Koge with quite the tiny and pathetic looking pumpkin, which was only slightly bigger than her own palm. Confused, Koge took the tiny pumpkin, looking it over a bit. “You mean this?”

Atsuki nodded, placing a tiny finger on the pumpkin. “Yeah. It’s so tiny, no one else would pick it. I wanted to take it home.”

“You feel bad for it?”

“Uh huh. It was covered with hay. It’s sad.” The child took the pumpkin back from her, turning it over in his hands a bit. “I want to give it a nice house to grow up in.”

After sharing a quick glance with Bakugou, Koge smiled at her son, gently pulling him closer so she could give him a tender kiss on the cheek. “You know what? How about we adopt this pumpkin as a family and take it home. You go pick another bigger pumpkin to carve, okay?”

“Really? It’s okay?” Atsuki turned his gaze up to his father, who gave a nod in agreement. Wide smile on his lips, the child handed Koge back the little pumpkin. “Will you protect it, Mommy? Natsuki laughed at it, I think it likes you more.” Taking the pumpkin and standing, Koge held it carefully.

“Of course, baby. I’ll make sure it’s nice and safe. Now go on and pick your carving pumpkin before it gets too chilly.” With her promise to protect his new friend, Atsuki ran back off towards his sister, who was gazing up at the biggest pumpkin in the patch, which was even bigger than her. Placing the pumpkin into her coat pocket, Koge turned her attention back to Bakugou, who was looking down at her with an amused smile.

“Adopt it, huh?”

“What else could I say? That was the cutest thing ever, Katsuki, don’t even try to deny it.” Hooking her arm with his, she started to head towards their children. Bakugou nodded as he followed her, though the smile didn’t fade from his lips.

“Nah, I would have agreed, too. It was cute. That little turd has some softness in him. He’s like a mix of Matsu and Natsu with a shit ton of energy and craziness, but enough empathy to feel bad for a fucking pumpkin of all things. Hey- Natsuki! Get of that pumpkin!” Bakugou interrupted his own sentence to bark at his daughter, who was standing on the large pumpkin. Being caught, Natsuki instead sat down on it, waving towards her parents.

“Wait, Daddy, come take a picture with me on it! This pumpkin is huge! Like, it’s as big as your head!”

Koge couldn’t help but laugh, covering her lips with her fingers as she released Bakugou’s arm to get her phone out of her pocket. “Oh my goodness. I wonder… your physical or metaphorical big head?”

With a scoff, Bakugou gave Koge’s backside a rough pinch, making her squeal and hop away from him to avoid any further punishment. “O-ow! I was just joking!”

“Your joking deserves a pinch.” He stopped next to the pumpkin when they reached it, looking at Natsuki as she was nearly eye level with him now. “You promised me you wouldn’t play around, Natsu.”

“But Daddy, the sign says it’s okay!” Natsuki pointed to the sign beside the pumpkin, which indeed indicated that it was okay for pictures and for small children to sit on. With a grumble, Bakugou ruffled her hair, making her giggle in victory.

“You’re too smart for your own good, squid.”

“Okay!” Koge held up her phone to take a picture, even though she had been secretly taking them the entire time Bakugou and Natsuki had been conversing. “Get together around the pumpkin!” As her children and husband all posed appropriately, Koge snapped who knows how many pictures, before setting the timer and propping it up against other pumpkins. “Now with me in it…” In a rush, she hopped over to stand with Matsuki.

The rest of the evening went like this, with laughter, pictures and treasured family moments abundant. Before the sun set under the horizon, they had their pumpkins loaded into the car and new friends made in various forms, from the friendly farm animals, to neglected baby pumpkins, to a scarecrow that Natsuki appropriately named Ugly Hay Face. By the time the family got settled back into the car, Atsuki was yawning like mad and Natsuki was picking hay out of her hair, tossing it out the window.

With a sigh, Koge bucked her own seat belt, leaning her head back against the seat to smile up at Bakugou. “I think that was a successful event.”

Bakugou nodded, giving her a small smile of his own. “I think so, too. No real casualties. Except for that chicken that thought my hair was hay for whatever reason.”

Koge giggled, rubbing his arm gently. “It does kind of look like hay, love.” Hearing her name from her youngest child, Koge turned her attention to him, first met with outstretched hands.

“Mommy, can I please have the baby pumpkin?”

“Oh,” Koge removed the little thing from her pocket, placing it into his carefully. “Of course, baby. Be careful with it.”

Atsuki cradled the pumpkin to his chest, holding it tenderly. “I will. I think it’s the best pumpkin in the whole world. Even better than the big one.”

“Me too. Definitely the best in the entire patch. Now, how about we get home. Gotta prepare you three for Grandma Bakugou’s house this weekend. Natsuki, baby, don’t throw the hay on the floorboards! How’d you even get that dirty?”

#bnha-halloween2019 #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x oc #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #oc #original character #koge #bakugou x koge #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #cutesuki-oc

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goatkingwc · 4 years ago

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MASCOT WITH MENACING EYES Episode 2 of CRWC GOAT KING WRITERS CLUB,

GOAT KING WRITERS CLUB, The loosest storytelling Podcast in all the land, were we don’t let Grammar get in the way of a good yarn.

MENACING EYES by SEAN CONWAY

Freshly squeezed orange juice, beans, mushrooms, eggs and a stack of bacon drizzled in maple syrup. This was a regular breakfast for the farmer which is why he is bulging out of his overalls.Despite his size, the farmer is a unassuming man, living alone miles away in the back woods, only making the trip to town to sell his wares.

By the way he dressed you would think he was Amish, he probably could be Amish if it wasn’t for his 1955 Ford Pick Up truck and his love of beer. He wasn’t one for fancy beer, he only had one preference that is must be cold, refreshing, and American made. The Farmer loved nothing more than a few Coors Lite after a hards day work. The farmer does most of his drinking on a Sunday, he does extra work on Saturday so he can sit back and enjoy that afternoons football game reminiscing about his days playing all those years ago.

Devouring the last of his breakfast feast that could easily feed a family of four, he enjoyed his meal oblivious to the fact that menacing eyes were staring at him with murderous intent only a few short steps away. The farmer slurped down the last of his orange juice and set out for a hards day work in the fields, unaware that today will be his last day working in those fields if the onlooker with those menacing eyes has his way.

Ploughing through the fields, the first of many chores for the day, singing along with gusto to the smooth sounds of Billy Joe Shaver, George Jones and Johnny Cash. The hours flew past with heavenly harmonics echoing through the isolated fields.

It was time for the Farmer to park up his plough and enjoy a well-deserved lunch. Nothing exciting, just a white bread sandwich with way too much bacon and a drizzle of homemade barbecue sauce made from a recipe passed down from his grandmother. Sitting on his plough, tapping his feet to the beat of Waylon Jennings, and enjoying his heart attack in a sandwich lunch, blissfully unaware of the danger that lay ahead as the beholder of those menacing eyes spied on the unassuming Farmer from a distance.

The Farmer finished his lunch and went about finishing the remaining chores for the day. He feed the chickens, he feed the cows, he feed the sheep and even had time to change the shoes on his beloved horse Bo named after his favourite Auburn Football player Bo Jackson. Bo wasn’t a racehorse, but the Farmer would watch Bo in the field and daydream of him raising the Kentucky Derby Trophy alongside the only creature he considered a friend.

One last job before The Farmer could call it a day, and that was to feed the pigs their gruel. He wouldn’t feed them any ole gruel, because these weren’t any ole pigs. These were Blue-Ribbon Award-winning pigs. The Farmer would spend hours cooking and refining his gruel recipe until he had the perfect concoction.

The Farmer walked over to the barn to retrieve his gold star gruel for his gold star pigs, but on his short journey, The Farmer stopped, he had a peculiar feeling he was being watched, a strange sense for the Farmer who lived alone on an isolated farm miles from town. The Farmer looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary, he paused for a moment before he chuckled to himself. Paranoid thoughts were a very rare occurrence for the level headed farmer, but the Farmer wasn’t being paranoid, we was indeed being watched by menacing eyes that had murderous intent that had plans to make this the last day he ever worked on that farm.

Collecting the gruel from the barn and still humoured by his bout of paranoia, the Farmer pulled up to the pig sty in his 1955 Ford Pick Up truck, blaring his music as loud as it would go, the Farmer despite being level headed, had a collection of strange theories, he believed playing loud music for the pigs comforted then and made the meat taste better. A strange theory indeed, but whose to argue with his logic considering how many Blue Ribbons he had won.

As the day grew longer The Farmer had to struggle with the weight of his homemade gruel out of the pickup truck before he entered the pig sty. Despite his tiring body The Farmer still had a peep in his step as he enjoyed the music along with the pigs. He poured the gruel he took such pride into the troff, the sound of the Farmers home cooking hitting the metal troff sent the hungry pigs into a frenzy, bashing and crashing past the Farmer.

The Farmer’s large body was no match for the stampede of giant award winning pigs as the sound of the bones in his legs crushing drowned out the sound of the music blaring from his pickup truck, the pigs giant mass has crushed his legs and The Farmer collapsed under his own weight in agony, his screams echoing through the freshly ploughed fields of his isolated farm.

The pain was unbearable but he managed to crawl through the wet mud that was a mix of dirt and pig shit, and lean his broken body against the chicken wire fence so he could see the extent of the damage to his legs. The Farmer tried rolling up his pant legs, but his legs were so severely broken that the bones had ripped through material of his blood-soaked overalls. The sense that he was being watched overcome the Farmer once again, he was now face to face with those Menacing eyes that had murderous intent that had been watching The Farmer since breakfast, they’re eyes all too familiar to The Farmer, they were the eyes of Hog Brady, a runt of a pig the Farmer had raised since he was piglet, naming him Hog Brady for his hatred of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

The Farmer had grown to love this runt of a pig over the years even though he wasn’t a Blue Ribbon pig. Hog Brady though, had no love for the Farmer, watching him for years and years routinely butcher his family and friends and devour their corpses, and for what? A few blue ribbons from the county fair. This did not sit well with Hog Brady at all, he has waited years for the opportunity to exact his revenge on the butcherous Farmer, he was going to enjoy feasting on the Farmer, starting with mutilated legs.

The Farmer punched and screamed at Hog Brady, has hard as he could but he was no match for his vengeful foe, the punches and the screaming only forced Hog Brady to consume The Farmer faster. This once runt piglet was now devouring The Farmer as quickly as he could. The other pigs on the other hand, have devoured their gruel, and with their appetites not yet met, the Farmer looked like a plentiful dessert.

The pigs made easy work of the Farmer as they feasted on his flesh as they enjoyed soothing melodies of Tammy Wynette blaring from the pickup truck. It only took a few short minutes for The Farmer to be no more.

Spending hours and hours perfecting a recipe for his Blue Ribbon winning Pigs, it would The Farmer himself who would become a 5 Star meal for his 5 Star pigs.

MASCOT by NATHAN HULL

I had been summoned to the general managers office. A rare thing for a lowly team mascot, yet here I was sitting outside his large office trying to figure out whether this was a positive or potentially terrible thing for my career. Thinking back on the last week what I it was, good or bad that I could have done to land myself waiting like a nervous school child outside the Principles doors.

“You can go through now” The uninterested receptionist sighed fiddling with her phone not even taking the time to look up at me. “yeah thanks’ I replied before taking a deep breath and walking in to meet my fate.

Upon entering the room I shuffled nervously, waiting to be acknowledged before Mr Grandioso finally told me to sit “ Well well if it isn’t everyone’s favourite mascot” he said dismissively, lighting a large cigar and pouring himself a brandy “Make mine a double” I said with a laugh trying to break the tension in the room. Mr Grandioso just stared unimpressed at me before continuing. “As you know we are having a terrible season, we are 1 and 11 and making the finals is now almost impossible, heads must roll’

I wasn’t entirely sure what this had to do with me as a mascot, I mean all I did was run around in a large Goat costume trying to draw some attention away from the teams terrible performance each week, so I put my fist to my chin and nodded importantly “yes yes I agree” I said hoping that maybe I was about to be given a raise from Mascot to head coach. ‘What can I do to help Mr Grandioso” I said reaching into my pocket for a pen and note pad, trying to look as prepared and confident as I now I assumed the other coaching candidates would look.

“Put that pen away Manfred, Im firing you” Mr grandioso sighed. ‘What me? firing me? Im the only person who actually does what there paid to do on game day” I yelled “this clubs a fucking joke a fucking shithole joke!’ I screamed making my situation much worse than it already was.

I lept out of my chair and was tackled to the ground by two of Mr Grandioso’s assistants “ listen you jabbering little cock sucker” he hissed “ you think I don’t know how bad this team performs? The amount of money I have invested into the most useless team in the history of this club?” he continued “If it where up to me id fire the lot of them but after the pre-season promises made the outrages spending spree the internal cover ups I need to at least galvanise the fans, so I’m placing the blame squarely on you”

My head was spinning a moment ago I thought I was going to make the dream leap from Mascot to coach a feet only ever achieved once by Lucky the Dolphin in 1937, now however I realised I had lost everything, I was a patsy a fall guy a nobody.

I slunk my way out of the stadium and over to the closest bar where I found Terry the Turtle drinking alone .Usually during the season id have no time to chat with our cross town rivals mascot but seeing as I was just fired I sat at his table and over a few drinks explained my situation.

During the course of the afternoon and a long chat it came to light that many mascots where feeling displaced and abused, and one by one we called the others eventually coming up with a plan to not only claim justice but also make us rich. The plan was simple I would take $2000 from each mascot and place a seemingly impossible bet that my ex team would go on to win every remaining game including the championship for the year it was a $40000 bet put on at 1000 to 1 odds a $40,000,000 pay day.

And so for the remainder of the season the plan was executed. Mascots would tamper with play books and equipment disrupt practices, some even going as far as secretly injuring or poisoning star players. Doing whatever it took to ensure our bet payed off. And so it did we succeeded in fucking with the entire league and claiming a nice $2,000,000 each. Not bad for a bunch of no body mascots, once down trodden and laughed at we now where kings and I was the King Goat.

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #264

I did tell y’all WoW would devour my life again when I got my laptop back lmao. But I’m still alive!!

When you wake up to pee at night, do you turn on the light? You mean like, in the bathroom? Uh, yeah? When was the last time you got a fresh box of crayons? Damn dude, I don't have a clue. What color is your favorite towel? I don't have a favorite. They're all just random colors. Do you know anyone’s phone number by heart? Actually no, not since Mom got a new phone. I really need to learn it. Do you wear hoodies? Yeah, one Pikachu one. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: We were arguing and she tried to kick me out of the car once. Obviously I didn't listen. It was one of our worst arguments. How many different homes have you live in?We're in our fourth house now. WELL there's another if you count the apartment, but I didn't officially live there, I was just... always there even though it was against policy lmao. Then when we were technically homeless I "lived" with my former best friend, but again, that was not an official thing. Did your mom go to college? She is, though cancer has thrown a wrench in the plan... She's on her final semester of a bachelor's degree in social work. With cancer now plus this wild quarantine, we don't really know what's going on. Where is the best place you know to take a dog for a walk? We have a park maybe like 15 minutes from here that's pretty decent. Nice fountain, fishing docks, plenty of ducks. Are there any crazy sandwich combinations you like to eat? It's not "crazy," as I know it's actually tasty to some people: having lunch meat, cheese, mustard, and potato chips. I haven't had that in yeeeaaars. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Uh. I'm not sure. We usually have fruit, beans, and soup in there, but I'm not sure which there's more of. Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? No. Do you prefer rugs or bare floors? Rugs. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't really drink from any. Your bad habit that you love the most: Heh, drinking soda... Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: I have before, yes. Had a guinea pig named Harry Potter lol, rats named Tezzeret and Rhoka, and... that may be it. I am not positive, had a lotta pets... Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? Oh my god, I was about to say no, but wait. When I first started RP at around 9, I had the impression you were supposed to always be in-character. Me, at the time my account being just "mozart2" (I don't count her as my first RP character though, she turned into Ruby and was drastically changed) on the Animal Planet forum, wanted to be the "dominant female," and one of the girls whose name was like Angelkiss or something was "mean" to me and so I reciprocated until I GOT FUCKING BANNED ON THIS ACCOUNT I'M WRITING THIS AND IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME I HATE YOUNG ME SO MUCH. What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? Idk. Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Not necessarily. Yellow doesn't mean dirty + everyone is supposed to have some coloration, and I can't say shit anyway 'cuz mine are kinda yellow from poor self-care in the past anyway. I just care that they're clean. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Girt is a damn giant lmao. I only reach his chest. Shortest, I'm unsure. Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? Well besides the famous ones, no. HA, fun fact that cracked me the fuck up though, someone in the government in NC that is running for... something, there are sometimes like three signs in a row along the road that say "RUN FORREST, RUN" and I fuckin died the first time I saw it. Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? I don't believe in angels or demons, so. Ghosts, yes. Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? Dancing, for sure. I'm more educated on the form and techniques, plus it's way more entertaining. What was the mascot at your elementary school? A bulldog. It was super cute, and in art class, the art students all worked together to make colorful, clay models that were in the principal's office. Everyone loved them. Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? Yes and yes. Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? I'll probably never know 'cuz my ass is afraid of them lmao. I get dizzy too easily and I'm terrified of the potential of getting sick. Do you think home-made cards are better than store-bought ones? They're more thoughtful imo. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? The Notebook. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? By their volition, probably a Facebook friend. How did you decide upon your favorite colors? I didn't know you could pick your favorite color. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? Wow no. I mean unless they look obviously dangerous, like if they had blood on them or something like that. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? If you say anything but pink, you're wrong. Do you prefer schedules and plans, or spontaneity? Schedules. Sponteneity, usually, stresses me out. How do you let someone know that you like him/her? I mean idk. Act like it or say it. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I'm more myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? Hell no. I'd want them to like me for who I actually am. Would you rather buy presents for others, or receive them? BUY, so long as I'm happy with what I bought and know it'll make them happy. How did you meet your current best friend? YouTube. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? I haven't finished it, but I'm writing a poem about the strength of cancer patients following Mom getting her hair shaved off. Are you a mostly blunt person? No, because I'm too afraid of starting an argument. Do you have any talents that come naturally? I guess writing since I've been applauded for it since I was very little. Do you go out often? Even before quarantine, not at all. I go out so little that my eyes seriously hurt when I step outside; I always have to squint or entirely close my eyes for a few seconds. What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? There was one year Jason got me a really pretty heart box of chocolates plus the game Heavy Rain and a pink rose. May still have a picture of it on my old phone... Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? No. It's hard to be "overly nice" in my opinion. Would you prefer internet or television? Internet. What is something you lose often? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I never do. How old is your oldest sibling? 30-something. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Yes. Who's the last person you said I love you to? Mom or Sara. What's your stance on spooning? What a question. It's comforting, but I usually can't actually fall asleep like that because I get too hot. Have you ever been "popular?" Nah, not really. Well, I was pretty well-known in the meerkat YouTube community as an editor, but not like, Yelozo level. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Well, I was a Christian when my sister's friend's grandpa made me like, SUPER uncomfortable by talking to me all the way home from school (he had to drive us this day) about the Bible and stuff because it was his "job" as a religious man and I kinda had to take this little Bible from him just to be nice. Even when I was a Christian I wasn't VERY religious and really really felt like he was hardcore shoving his beliefs down my throat. Are you thin? Ha ha no. Do you like big earrings? Heavy/big earrings ruined my ears, so no. The holes are too stretched now and is why I'm putting very small gauges in so it doesn't look as stupid when I put an earring in and it just barely hangs on because my ear lobe literally looks like it could tear. Animated character that was your gay awakening? HA, there's been a few that looking back, I definitely thought were more than pretty, even as a kid, like Sheego from Kim Possible. But #1? Holy mother of fuck, Bayonetta. That is one fuckin HOT MAMA. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Hmm. It really does depend on what I feel like semi-watching. Maybe like, a let's play where I'm not THAT interested in the game, but I still do listen and glance over. Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I've never been to a bar, but when I go out to eat and I feel like getting a drink, it's usually a margarita. What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? UGGGGHHHHH my tall leather boots with all these buckles and stuff. They're hot. What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t know. What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? Nothing that's really "surprising." Just three ordinary minimum wage jobs. What’s directly across from you? My snake's terrarium. Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? No. ;-; I wish. What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? I've only ever had cream cheese. NO WAIT, I tried jam once and it was fucking repulsive. One bite and I was like "fuck no." I think it was strawberry jam though, which I hate. I'm not sure what else I'd try as idk what would taste good. Fruity or herbal teas? Neither. What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? None. It's funny, as a kid when I thought I was "too old," I tried to hide the fact I still adored Pokemon, but for years now I've just been like "lol fuck yeah man Pokemon." What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Being an emo/goth/metalhead thing was NEVER a phase, Mom. Goddamn do I wish I could afford a gothic wardrobe laksjdfawde. What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? There's no telling. I rarely check my closet for "special" clothes, but rather my dresser. Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? The couch. Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I'm all of them, plus sometimes song lyrics I find relevant lmao leave me alone. Name a classic Vine: YO that one of the dude looking for his berries with a WILD outfit, expression, and voice and then scares adventurers away from his tree made me fuckin cry for about 1,000 repeats. I miss Vine, man, good shit. What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? We don't really "stock up" on any particular food. We do, however, tend to get a large box of frozen rats for Venus, if you can count that, but obviously that's not from the grocery store lol. How do you top your ice cream? Chocolate syrup mmmMMMMMMMMMMM Do you like Jello? Yeah. Do you have a fear, even only a slight fear of insects? I do. Do you have a favorite poem you like and can recall? If so, what is it? I don't have a favorite, no. Have you ever resided in a home that was haunted: *shrugs* I do think paranormal things happened in my last house, but idk about calling it haunted. Do you ever play any MMORPGS: Just WoW. What’s the closest river to you? Tar River. Have you ever been in a building with over 100 floors? I don't think so. What bird is the cutest? Oh, I don't know. Something small and pudgy lol. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit is so cool. Have you ever held a real sword? No. What do you think about most? PTSD is v fun. My brain naturally drifts to relating topics when I don't know what to think about, which is most of the time. Certainly don't try to, but it just. Happens. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Hell man, idk. I do have a weakness for Kellin Quin though; he's the first to come to mind. What was the last film you saw in the cinema? The Lion King. What are you currently listening to? "Saturnalia" by Marilyn Manson. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. The last person to be under covers with you? Sara. What's the compliment you get the most? Uhhh I think it's "I like your tattoo" (referring to my Mark one). BITCH just wait til it gets tidied up for four hours. Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? If they have good reason to, yes. I can't deeply dislike someone I don't know/have personally seen be a piece of shit, but I can sure not be fond of them until they prove unworthy of that judgment. Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Never gambled and don't plan to. Do you eat/drink at your computer? Yes, oops. How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) Actually, I tend to under-eat at most special occasions because odds are I'm not going to like the food. This isn't always the case, but yeah. Do you think it's important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I think it's very important to enjoy it. If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Probably the longest consecutive hours of not leaving the computer laksdfjawe I hate myself. Do/Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? From the very beginning, I hated school. It's why I was a goddamn monster to get up in the morning, even in high school. I only enjoyed (to a degree, anyway) my most recent college because it was a way to get out of the house and work towards my future. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Boy, do I. Most recently, after being put on a medication for my nightmares/terrors (which works!), I have intense muscle spasms in my legs, oddly only when I'm falling asleep. Apparently it's a very rare side effect of it, but I'm willing to tolerate it in place of having nightly terrors. Then there's my PTSD and just general poor self-image that can both send me down a total spiral. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Not legitimately. Like I've wondered what it would be like, but I've never truly wanted to be a guy. I'm just content with being what comes with being genetically female. Do you think you'd make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? Hell to the fuck no. Have you had an argument with anyone recently? If so, do you still have issues with that person? Not recently, no. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? Tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. Hell man, I don't have a clue. Have you ever worn colored mascara? If not, would you ever think about trying it? And if you have, what is/was your favorite color to wear? No, but I guess, if I had a reason to? What do you remember about your first day of secondary school? Were you more nervous or excited about it? I very faintly remember I had no desire to be there. Before Facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like Bebo or Myspace? Yeah, I had Myspace. Has anyone ever asked you out, and you turned them down? If so, did you feel guilty about it? Why do you think you said no? Yes, and not *really*, as I'm very strict with myself about whom I date. It's just awkward. And I just didn't like one guy romantically in elementary, my best male childhood friend was black (mind you I haven't been racist in the least since I was a tiny kid, I was just raised like that), and I knew Juan had a bad rep. Have you ever asked anyone “Do you love me?” If so, did you get the response you wanted? Do you think when someone says “I love you”, you feel obliged to say it back? Ugh. Let's not. I feel obligated only with family. Has someone of the opposite sex ever sang to you? If so, how did you respond to it? LET'S. FUCKIN. NOT. If you’ve had a bad experience in a past relationship, did you find that you were scared to get into another relationship, in case the same thing happened again? Terrified.

#survey #quiz #questions

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