#the only person who can actually get me out of thought spirals is me bc I require sound logic at all times
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad đ
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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I am really drawn to media about terrible people who are still loveable and it is because it is therapeutic. Bc you think about it
âI am not a terrible personâ - Faulty hypothesis from first principles. Undefined terms. Unquantifiable. Attempts to prove a negative. Meaningless. In terms of anxious thought spirals this claim is a bottomless pit you will never escape from.
âI am probably not a terrible person but even if I was that wouldnât be so badâ - Strong hypothesis that accounts for the variability in terms and methods of measurement. Allows you to get on with thinking about other things, such as what a nice day it is today
#the only person who can actually get me out of thought spirals is me bc I require sound logic at all times#âits going to be okâ unsound logic. unprovable.#âit may not be ok but there is always something that can be doneâ sound logic. practical#I donât tolerate platitudes or affirmations. lay out the facts
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Dick Grayson ships in order of how toxic you should write them as adults in an established relationship imo (no batcest and we can discuss the harem at a later time)
Least
Dick X Wally: this is the quintessential friends to lovers story itâs adorable. Naturally a lil bit of toxicity bc nightwing is not a healthy person but still the ratio is 99% cute and 1% angst as adults. Feel free to angst away with the Robin/KF thing
Worlds where this is cute: young justice, earth prime pre Wally meeting Linda.
Dick X Kori: listen to me, if you ignore all the shitty writing (yes the babs wedding thing) they r perfect <3. The only person who I believe can be the lights light ya know. The broke up because they both took hits they couldnât recover from but they still love each other and theyâre my favorite canon pairing they should get back together and have a kid and be a cute lil family.
Worlds where this is cute: TT, Earth prime, DCAU, injustice, titans tomorrow, Lego Batman (every single earth actually)
Dick X Zatanna: cute, childhood crush turned sweethearts turned friends nothing to say here I just donât think it would be toxic
Worlds where this is cute: young justice
Worlds where this should never happen: all the rest (she dated his dad)
Dick X Joey: I love them so Iâm biased their relationship is on par with Dick and Wally taking field trips in the 80s. Also this is joeys most popular ship and that makes me laugh. BUT ANYWAY theyâre just very homoerotic and I feel like they respect each other enough the toxicity would be on the lower side.
Worlds where this is cute: literally anytime before he possesses his dadâs body.
Times this is concerning: post possessing nightwings body (anyone remember that happening I just ignore it now, cuz I hate the whole evil Joey thing but if you wanna take this ship from 30% toxic to 140% write it post possession with the dude who had autonomy issues)
Dick x Kara: I just feel like the hero worship would get in the way a little bit
Worlds where this is cute: worlds finest
Worlds where this isnât: the rest
Dick x Roy: I love them sm ur honor (despite how low Iâm putting this, itâs one one my top ships) listen Dick and Roy adore each other and would die for each other, but the baggage?? The years of expectations?? The fights??? The fact that Dick gets more and more closed off when heâs mad usually but him and Roy in the same room and fists fly?? But the only people who can talk to Dick when heâs spiraling are Roy and Donna. Like ROY HARPER is one of Dick people!! You donât understand how much I love how they can hurt each other while loving each other so so so much. They cause me pain. I donât believe theyâd ever mellow out Dick and Wally tho bc theyâre whole relationship is heated they have never had a chill emotion about each other in their history of being characters that exist in the same space.
Worlds where this is cute: literally any world where the titans exist/have existed with speedy and Robin as core members
Worlds where no?: new 52 (I hate new 52 and ignore it tho so no universe sucks bc new 52 isnât real and canât hurt me)
Dick X Harley Quinn: see I hated this ship and I hate it in canon but I once read a fic that was good enough I now ship it on the dl and think it would be good for Harley to be with someone who can be a safety net. But like this is AU rare pair type shit and itâs low bc I literally cannot picture a canon universe where this isnât the most toxic thing ever.
Worlds where yes: DCAU (AU) not even the canon one like the AU of the AU that is the DCAU (take a shot Everytime I say AU)
Dick X Shawn Tsang: Iâm sorry yall Shawn was such a boring character I forgot she existed but I remember that she broke up with him after he lost his memory cuz she thought he was ghosting her and like not only does it feel like she just existed to give dick a love interest. Also this comic featured the character death wing and so itâs so low not bc the ship sucks except it does bc why dick?? Are you dating someone who hates heroes?? Why r u like this??? Stopppp but also bc imo the ship has a white bread type of content that is toxic to me personally and thatâs more important.
Dick x Bea Bennet: I loved them sm in the beginning, best part of the Ric Grayson arc and then they added the spyral ties and made her a pirate and tbh that ruined it for me. Dick and Bea only work as a cute relationship if Bea is a way out or a window into the outside world like something to ground the man who is always trying to get his feet off the ground. It would be interesting. But now sheâs just another another relationship where he didnât know who he was dating and tbh I donât think heâd be down for that post literally everything thatâs ever happened to him romantically after the age of 16
Dick Babs: yes itâs this low, no I will not change it. It should be lower but I used to ship this so itâs only my fond memories keeping it this high. Babs slept with his father after dating him in at least 2 universes. Dick left Gotham for freedom and she quite literally drags him back Everytime theyâre together it feels like about 30 years of Dicks character development is erased. And letâs not talk about Barbara used to be a congress woman Gordon. They deaged her to make her a decent love interest for someone who was a kid when she was running for congress. And because of the fact their characters donât naturally balance out the way some of his other canon ships do (Bea, Shawn, KORI(the best canon ship imo), hell even Helena) it leads to the characters becoming flanderizations of themselves. Dick is a loveable himbo whose only defining characteristic is his ass and I hate to say it Barbara Gordon literally just turns into female Bruce and I hate it so much but genuinely read though some of their older stuff itâs like..ugh. Anyway I hate this ship I think itâs bad for both of them and while Iâm not babs biggest fan I still like her and she and Dick should be best friends who get drunk on weekends and shit talk the bats and their respective teams (titans, birds of pray)
Dick X Helena bertinelli: yall wtf is this ship, if this is your main ship? Why? Tell me? Like what?? Helena??? Esp prime earth Helena?? He has more chemistry with midnighter than her (but we are not discussing the harem so I will remain silent)
Now the most toxic ship that isnât incestuous is so obvious bc no one has ever pictured this ship with a modicum of health in it except its creator (derogatory) Iâm 99% sure every single fic tagged this also has the domestic violence tag
Dick X Catalina Flores. Yeah no a billion times no this shit is so toxic the jack Napier fell into it and became the joker. This shit so toxic it only serves as a trauma boat for another person to swoop in and get him out I hate this so much.
Now dick is an old character so he has about a billion other relationships. But these are either the recent ones (Shawn, Bea) or the ones that have a lot of ao3 clout (birdflash) or something that makes my heart soft (dick and Joey) plus his most iconic 2 pairing I will not be getting into characters like Daphne, Clancy or Betty or anything else or the creepy ones like the fact heâs had shit with both catwoman and taila.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
#nightwing#dick grayson#batman#comics#barbara gordon#kori anders#koriand'r#starfire#roy harper#arsenal#speedy#wally west#kid flash#joey wilson#helena bertinelli#bea bennett#batgirl#oracle
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compliments to the chef
Momo x gn!reader
synopsis - momo falls for her new chefâs flavorđ¤ (sheâs the sole heiress of the Hirai culinary empire and hiring you spices things up a lot more than she intended.)
wordcount - 14K (please donât say damn when you see the price)
T/W - kinda chaebol!momo - chef!reader - mentions of food, knifes etc⌠- nothing violent tho - slowburn? but make it angsty? - light cussing - you lowkey hate each other but not really - enemies to lovers? - guest starring bc thatâs fun - thatâs all i can think of, tell me if i missed anything
Momo sent a polite smile to the man sitting across from her. The fourteenth in the past half hour.
Sheâs been keeping count, along with the minutes, the grains of rice left on her plate, and the amount of times heâs mentioned one of his accomplishments.
Thirty-three, seventy-eight, and six; in that order. Only two questions about her so far, one if you remove the one about her name.
She almost left right then and there, but the respect she had for her mother weighed her down on that chair. If she wasnât going to take over the family empire, the least she could do was find a worthy successor.
A soft sigh escaped her as she pushed her food around. Being an only child was way more fun when all it meant was that she didnât have to share it with anyone. Or get it stolen, according to the venting of her friends when younger.
She finished the few bites left, trying to drown out the sound of his voice by focusing on the flavours. She closes her eyes, appreciating their delicate yet bold dancing on the tip of her tongue.
Maybe it was the boredom clinging onto whatever could keep her mind entertained, but the taste reminded her of herself. A small smile spread across her lips, the first real one of the day.
The next one came when the man asked for the bill. Her lungs could finally grasp the air around her, her nose picking up on the different notes and aromas of the dishes around her.
She sent her compliments to the chef, adding to them a generous tip she had no idea whoâs pockets itâd really land in. Itâs the thought that counts.
Her senses were in heaven walking out, engraving her mind with a memory that will stick longer than the guy whoâd just made her split the bill, unevenly that is.
âLet me take you home.â He said once out front. His hand held the door open to the leather seats of a luxurious car she was too familiar with.
âOh, no itâs fine thank you.â She declined quickly. âI actually have a meeting scheduled right after this.â
âI can drop you off.â
Momo almost laughed. She found his use of the personal pronoun very funny. She almost forgot he would just be sitting near her some more while the chauffeur did the sexiest part. If the latter were to her taste, sheâd have driven off with her.
âIâd rather not.â She declined. âBusiness confidentiality and whatnot.â
The lie was forced through an awkward smile that he found endearing enough not to question. Relief washed over her when he finally let go of her, climbing into the car, but not without asking her to keep in touch.
Another sigh, a heavy one, loaded with all those sheâd held back until now as she watched the car drive away. The pressure was off, but only for a second as her thoughts soon spiraled.
No way she had to do this again⌠She reached in her purse, looking for the one thing that could get her out of here.
All this junk, where is itâ
âYouâre awful at lying.â
Her phone almost dropped to its death from the startle you gave her.
Momo had a few questions at the sight of you. Your presence and your eavesdropping were the first, but the white apron half folded around your waist and the cigarette in your hand answered most of them.
âWhat,â was all she managed to say though, and a smile pulled on your lips.
âI mean, Iâm not fond of lies, but when youâre famous for turning your back on business, you should probably come up with a better excuse.â
âWho even are you?â
âRight, I guess thatâs fair. Iâm Y/n. Youâre Momo, right? Hirai?â
âY-Yeah.â Her eyes squinted, desperately trying to see what you were leading to.
Your name sounded as unfamiliar as you looked, but you seemed well informed. She didnât like that.
âNice to meet you,â You greeted simply, eyeing the contrast between her features and the neat clothes on her back, âSo how bad was it? You look⌠Worn out.â
Her chuckle was distasteful, and she tried to suppress its bitterness at the reminder of her lost time. âAwful. The food caught my eye more than he could ever hope.â
You smiled, âHe wasnât bad looking.â
âBut he was a bore.â She argued. âBorderline narcissistic too.â
âDeal breaker then?â You guessed, turning her laughter a little sweeter.
âPretty much.â Her gaze found the ground in a nod before focusing back on you. âI do like it better when itâs a two way conversation.â
âDoes that make me cute?â
She scoffed at the brazen question. âYou wish.â
âI donât.â You dropped your cigarette on the ground, stepping on it in a way she found more hot than revolting to her surprise. That cheeky smile of yours was most likely to blame. âThank you for the compliments by the way. Iâm glad you liked it.â
Your bow was quick, desultory out of rehearsed respectfulness. As much as you appreciated her compliments, you had better things to do in the kitchen that could get you some more.
You caught a glimpse of her jaw dropping on your way back in, and it was enough of a sight to revel in for a few days.
â
It took Momo a couple weeks to pick her jaw back up and swallow her pride. It seemed as though the latter was the only thing she inherited from her family, and she managed to set herself apart yet again.
Her parents would have never set foot in your restaurant again. Not that you had lacked respect or anything, but the fact that you managed to set her off balance⌠Something about it she didnât particularly like.
Why was she back then?
You asked yourself that same question when you stormed out of the kitchen at her request. If it werenât for your manager and his speech about image and reputation, you never would have allowed her to interrupt you and abandon your brigade mid-shift.
Hands on your hips, dragging your feet, you walked into the office she awaited you in and felt your voice die down on your tongue at the sight.
Beauty or surprise, either way it came down to her presence.
The way her hair fell down her back, delicate and blending in with the fabric of her perfectly tailored shirt. The sleek black attire formed a shadow, painting a hole cut against her silhouette and into the spring she admired in the sakura tree out the bay window.
âHi.â She smiled, her voice a fitting melody to the sights now behind her. Enchanting, sure, but odd.
She wasnât exactly known to be a warm one to strangers. More power to her, you could understand that. But why didnât it apply to you?
If it werenât for the stories associated with that voice suddenly popping into your mind, sheâd have lured you in. Nothing too bad about them; only testaments of her success. Rumors about the danger surrounding her, setting her apart from her family. You didnât care for the big industry names, but theirs always had you curious.
âYou asked for me?â Your voice rang in the quiet space.
Momo didnât seem to notice your apprehension, her smile ever so welcoming, âI did.â
It felt as though she owned the place for a second.
âDo you have some more compliments?â You wondered, eyes following her figure as she went to take a seat in the armchair across your managerâs desk.
âI do actually.â She turned the seat to face you as she mused, âThat black cod was to die for.â
You nodded, thankful. âGlad you liked it.â
As much as you didnât like the way her family capitalized on the food you took such care to value, you couldnât deny their expertise. Even if not a lot to you, Momoâs compliment did mean something.
âBut thatâs not all.â Her voice pulled your eyes back on her.
You found her posture quite imposing, matching her tone, but her infamous shyness was something she never got around to master. Her gaze held yours but it lacked control.
It was hard to ignore how endearing the attempt looked to you. It just made you want to give her whatever she wanted. Reward her efforts.
âWhat is it?â You wondered, curious.
What could she possibly want from you? This restaurant wasnât yours. The only thing you had control over was the kitchen.
âI want you to cook for me.â She said, and you didnât leave room for a breath before responding, âExcuse me?â
âI meant Iâd like to hire you.â She clarified, a smirk dancing on her lips at your transparent thoughts. You tried to make sense of her proposal, but she didnât waste any time in providing details. âIâm sure youâre familiarâthe annual Hirai banquet my mother holds for shareholders. I never cared for the specifics, but I want to do good by her. I havenât been the best daughter lately so I thought Iâd make it up to her by holding it this year.â
It all clicked at the mention of her mother. Of course she wouldnât be back with her own motives.
The Hirai Culinary Group was an empire. A home to the most prestigious restaurants of the country. All housing different specialties, techniques and themes⌠Quite a whole lot to manage yet the quality remained flawless. Fifty years of irreproachable cuisine, you could only respect it. If only they didnât care about business so muchâŚ
Those banquets were popular, talk of the town within the industry as it usually set the next trends and whatnot. Make no mistakes, you were tuned in as well. They did bring in some interesting elements, but you hated the way they set it all up. A disguised year-end performance meeting. White collars expecting numbers and being served them on gold plates, horizons and growth perspectives hidden in desserts.
âSo sheâs actually the one that asked for me.â You smirked, unexpecting of the way sheâd wipe it off just a second later.
âNo.â She said simply, a serene smile gracing her lips. âWhy would she know about you?â
You scoffed. Good point. You could recognize that despite the blow to your ego.
âFair enough.â You nodded. âBut why should I help you?â
âHelp me?â She repeated, a hint of offense creeping into her whole being. âIâm offering you to work with me.â
Perhaps she wasnât that much of an ugly duckling among the Hiraiâs.
âMy question still stands. Why should I?â
A silence followed your words, hanging low over your heads and expecting the next ones to come out of her. Hopefully theyâd be good enough.
Momoâs gaze suddenly drifted from yours, finding interest in her surroundings. A few details sheâd noticed earlier, various frames highlighting the establishmentâs foundations. She could count three of them : its history, the owner and visibly the most important��you.
âAre you happy here?â She finally spoke, tearing her eyes away from your latest reward.
âI am.â
âIâm sure you are,â she remarked, tone striking a nerve. âHighest rank, valued both within and outsideâyouâre basically ruling the placeâŚâ
âWhatâs your point?â You asked, growing impatient.
âYouâve hit the ceiling, Y/n. Itâs time for a new challenge, donât you think?â
Silence enveloped you again as you found yourself contemplating her proposition.
Momo took the sight as a sign of her job being done here, and you watched as she left her business card on the desk before gracefully excusing herself; leaving you to deal with your internal struggle.
â
In the days that followed, her offer continued to linger in your thoughts, and with each passing day, the idea of a new challenge began to take root in your mind.
It spread enough to takeover a good portion of it, sending it all elsewhere. Far enough for your closest friend here and sous-chef to notice.
âWhatâs up with you, youâve been all over the place lately.â Jeongyeon asked after you nearly knocked an nth plate to the floor.
âNothing, Iâm fine.â You met her gaze and it was enough to backtrack on your words âOkay, fine there is something, but⌠I donât know itâs pointless.â
The empty pot you were carrying resonated as you put it back into its designated place, partially covering Jeongyeonâs words. âDoes it have to do with that Hirai girl?â
âHow do you know?â
âItâs the only thing out of the ordinary enough to throw you off your game.â She chuckled, drying her hands on her apron.
Weird way to tell you to live a little more, but okay.
âSo what did she say to you?â She sighed, leaning her back against the sink. âWhat even happened in the office, you never told us.â
âWellâŚâ You trailed off, gettng that business card out of your back pocket. You handed it to her, and it took her a second to notice what it was.
âWhat are you waiting for?â She scoffed, causing your eyebrows to furrow together.
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhatever she proposed just accept it, Y/nâ
You spotted a hint of annoyance in her voice, but you had trouble seeing if it was about you or Momo. She sure was scrubbing that counter pretty hard.
âWhy?â You asked, watching as she practically polished that stainless steel by hand. Something bothered you, and it wasnât her cleaning technique. âAre you not even gonna fight for me?â
Jeongyeon paused to look at you, catching the slight pout on your lips. Her own twisted along her features in disgust, teasing you, and you let out your first laugh of the day.
âI should be the one asking you that.â She pointed out. âThe fact that you havenât thrown that card as soon as she left tells me enough.â
âI was just thinking about itâŚâ You admitted, only proving her point.
Jeongyeon chuckled, shaking her head. âYouâre past the point of even considering it, I mean⌠Youâve been walking around with that business card glued to your ass for the past week, yet you havenât told me a thing about it.â
âYou think you know me so well.â You grimaced. It was playful, but part of you wanted to provoke her. You didnât blame her for that small jab at you, but it did hurt to think she didnât put turning your back on this place past you.
She did know you so well, though. Thatâs why she continued to argue her point.
âWhat is there to think about, y/n? The heiress of the most acclaimed and prestigious restaurant chain of the country is asking for you. No sane person would say no, never mind a chef!â
The sigh that pushed past your lips came as far back as your lungs.
âWould you say yes?â You hesitated after a while, but her answer was much faster. âWith no remorse.â
âI mean, have you seen her?â She added and you laughed.
âFine. I guess Iâll call herâŚâ You picked up the card from the counter and stared at her name.
Well⌠Itâs not like she had asked you to quit your jobâŚ
â
âOh, thatâs exactly what Iâm asking you to do.â
âWhat?!â
Momo pulled the phone away from her ear at the sheer volume of your voice through the speaker. How unprofessional. Her eyes rolled soon after, once she registered what your reaction held and meant for her plans.
âY/n, this isnât some side hustle for your experience.â she sighed, âIâm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime. If this all goes well, you could become our youngest chef in history.â
A point was made. As much as you were cautious of her voice, it seemed you couldnât do much about the way it managed to get to you. The words she used were ambitious, they spoke to you.
But she failed to measure just how ambitious you were.
âWhy canât I do both?â You finally asked, prompting a string of arguments being thrown to one another. A futile game of ping-pong you were determined to win, only irritating the woman at the other end of the line.
All this whining, it was like dealing with a child, and truthfully you felt like one. Asking for the best of both worlds seemed completely reasonable to you, so why wouldnât she give it to you.
âListen, you canât give your all to something if your attention is split in two.â She said, losing the last bit of patience she managed to keep today. âYou canât expect to grow by splitting yourself in half, and if you think otherwise, then consider my proposal void.â
A small silence fell over the line. She made sense. She was right. So why couldnât you bring yourself to accept it?
âIf you actually stepped foot in a kitchen once in your life youâd know two isnât even the minimum.â You scoffed.
Whatever you wanted to mean by that⌠even you didnât know, but apparently it was worth thinking over as you heard Momo sigh.
The woman closed her eyes to think.
Why couldnât you just say yes like everyone else she approached. Maybe she should have made you say it back in the office, use that pathetic confidence of yours against you.
Oh how easy you were to read and see through. Pushing buttons was so much easier when people stood in front of her.
Thatâs why she hated phone calls. How could she know what to sayâoh.
The light bulb went off over her head.
Right⌠That pathetic confidence of yours.
âIâll step in if you do.â
â
It shouldnât have been so easy.
All it took was a half-genuine smile, and a simple promise to make things different this year with a focus on the culinary side of things. Sure, she had to admit to scouting the area in search of the most skilled and promising, which eventually lead her to your restaurant, and then⌠you. But it was all ego strokes. Childâs play.
Part of her was disappointed. Sheâd hoped for a little more resistance, a challenge promised by your initial tone and attitude towards her.
âDamn it!â
She should be more careful about what she wishes for⌠Momo sighed, expecting your face to peek in by the doorframe of the managerâs office, and it did just seconds later.
âMomo, itâs not working.â
âWhat isnât?â She said, confused. Machineryâs top-notch, brigade is her best, there was no way anything would stop working out of nowhere.
âWhat did you do?â
âNothing, just come and see.â
Momo stared at you, noticing a smile fighting to make its way onto your lips. She was apprehensive but followed you anyway.
Youâd been working on a technical plate : a type of hybrid dish-dessert. An ambitious idea youâd prompted to Momo during one of the early meetings to work the menu out.
Only she had to make it an order. A boring one and near impossible to pull off. She wouldnât listen, so you decided to show her.
As you led her to the kitchen, you couldn't help but start venting away about everything that went down since the last time she'd stepped foot in there, which was a day or two ago.
"So, first, the soufflĂŠ collapsed twice because someoneâI won't name names, but it rhymes with 'internââforgot to preheat the oven."
Momo sighed internally. Why were you so fixated on every little mistake? Who cares about interns and their mistakes, thatâs what theyâre here for. She could excuse a non-preheated oven, but forgetting her birthday? Yeah, that Boo Seungkwan is definitely off the list. He had a good run, only regret was he was good with her dogs. And nice maybe.
"Then, the new mixer decided it wanted to be a blender, and let's not even talk about the chocolate ganache incident."
She nodded absently, her mind drifting to the text she received earlier from another potential suitor. The daughter of her family âs right hand man, Jihyo if she remembered correctly? The Parkâs had a rocky history though, she took note to raise her guard on that one before your voice pulled her back.
"And of course, the sugar sculpture? Total disaster."
Momo glanced at you, wondering if you realized how whiny you sounded. She had bigger fish to fry than a failed sugar sculpture, like figuring out if she even wanted to leave this family business. If it meant she had to deal with one more daddyâs pocket leechâŚ
"On the bright side, we finally perfected the citrus glaze for the salmon, and the guests couldn't get enough of the hors d'oeuvres last night, so I guess the test was a success.."
When you finally stopped talking and walking, she found herself face to face with an⌠interesting looking thing on a plate.
âWhat is that?â She said, dumbfounded.
âOh, thatâs the lemon pie thing you asked for.â You answered nonchalantly. âI told you it wouldnât work.â
âAre you serious?â Her stance and tone changed, cold and threatening like you had the joy of experiencing earlier this month. Didnât shake you anymore though. The dumb smile on your face was still there, dangerously creeping into a smirk. She couldnât wipe it for some reason.
âYeah, that sucks. I guess I lost three hours of my life.â You shrugged, eyes lingering on the edible failure staining the porcelain. âDoesnât taste bad, though.â You handed her a piece with a spoon youâd clearly already used, and Momoâs stare hardened.
âFix this.â
Obviously, you would. But you couldnât let it happen without messing with her first. So you stared right back into her eyes, holding her gaze just long enough to make her doubt and fear the opposite. The tension hung thick in the air, reaching a new high, until she finally broke away and walked off, her frustration evident in every step.
You watched her walk, the smirk now very apparent and mocking her back.
âIâll do just that, you donât have to worry.â You cupped your hands around your lips to make sure she heard it, distracting a few chefs around you.
You were oblivious to the looks they threw your way, your gaze was focused on Momoâs retreating figure.
"I'll leave you some on your desk, make sure to try it!â That smirk was evident on your lips, and she could hear it in your voice, feel it getting under her skin.
You were a challenge alright. A damn good one.
â
Momo walked back into the building only days later. You frowned at the sight of her, shoulders obviously tense paired with familiar sour features. The exposed skin told you a lot about her potential whereabouts these past few days. Added to the rumors going around, it didnât leave that much of a mysteryâŚ
âOh, weâre cooked.â Ryujin, the intern, mumbled under her breath, catching yours and a chefâs attention.
âYeah, we should have seen it coming.â The chef, Mingyu, sighed, dropping a heavy pan on top of the counter beside you.
âWhy, what happened?â You asked, easing yourself into their conversation.
Ryujinâs eyes widened, startled by the interruption. âI uh,â she stammered before Mingyu spoke up.
âWord on the street is, her father set her up with Park's daughter.â He chuckled to himself, making you curious.
âParkâs daughter⌠The Park branch daughter?â You asked, the name ringing more and more familiar. âYou mean Jihyo? Isnât she managing the H-Lounge?â
H-Lounge was a private, high end rooftop lounge managed by Mr.Park, Mr.Hiraiâs right hand man. Big bar, little food, and big walls; a white collarâs favorite and the Hiraiâs most profitable branch. From what you knew, Jihyoâs been pretty much running things for years now, her father only still there because of Momoâs.
âYeah, but sheâs on her way to the throne basically. Her dadâs been pushing for her to take the reins for a while now. Old manâs tired.â Mingyu commented, pulling a laugh out of Ryujin.
You squinted, watching as Momo disappeared around the corner to her office.
âYeah. But didnât they try to go solo with the Lounge once?â Ryujin asked, furrowing her eyebrows as she recalled rumors from a year ago. âSounds kinda fishy.â
âAnd shady.â Mingyu nodded. âSeems to me like Boss Hiraiâs desperate to make her stay.â
âWhich one?â
You were confused out of your mind, and Mingyu could tell. He was amused when you met his eyes, begging for some clarity.
âBoth,â he said. âPower play. Or two birds one stone type of deal. A Park-Hirai marriage would be beyond convenient for himâJihyoâs a hot head, she could never hold this whole thing together without Momo stepping in at one point, he knows that. Itâs the only way he gets to keep both of his most precious assets.â
You shook your head. There was no way. The idea didnât even match with the Momo you knew. "I don't see it. Momo's way too stubborn and prideful to let something like this happen to her. She's not the type to be manipulated like that."
"You think?" Ryujin asked, raising an eyebrow.
You nodded. "Yeah. I mean, you see how she handles things... Father or not, she won't just bend to someone else's will.â
Mingyu shook his head, a knowing look in his eyes glued on Momoâs figure passing by. "I think she already is..."
You all watched as she disappeared around the corner to her office, and you noticed her shoulders slump for the briefest of moments
It was a slight, almost imperceptible shift, but it struck you deeply for some reason. For the first time, you saw a crack in that impossibly unyielding façade.
A mix of concern and confusion washed over you. Despite the fierce exterior she projected on that comeback walk, there was clearly more weighing on her than she let on. Could Mingyu be right? Was Momo already being pulled back into the company's grasp despite that stubborn pride of hers?
You felt a rush of protectiveness overcome you, but quickly pushed it aside. What a useless, unbased feeling. Momo was fine. She wouldn't let herself be manipulated so easily⌠Right?
You pondered on the question for a while, but came up with the same answer every time.
Sheâll be fine.
You sighed as the day wound down, leaning against a counter. Your gaze wandered to the door to Momoâs office, finding it closed as always. Come to think of it, you hadnât seen nor heard it open since earlier that afternoonâŚ
Was she still there?
Curiosity and concern got the better of you, and you decided to take the opportunity to show her the new and improved lemon pie sheâd asked you to fix.
You made your way to her office, the building now eerily quiet. You didnât wait for an answer before walking in. It was surprisingly dark, only lit by a small hanging light attached to the wall above the desk. This place was such a broom closet⌠You almost felt sorry for her then remembered what sheâd told you.
"Technically this is still the kitchen, this wall is literal plastic."
You mentally scoffed at the memory. You couldn't believe the pettiness of that woman.
"What is that?" Momo asked, her eyes lifting from the paper for the first time in what felt like days.
Whatever was in that plate definitely looked better than the last thing youâd presented her. It held a certain finesse she wasnât indifferent to.
"It's the pie you asked for," you said, eyes twinkling in pride. âWell, a deconstructed version of it.â
âItâs not what I asked for,â she trailed off, observing the fine details. Her eyes traced the delicate swirls of meringue and the vibrant yellow of the lemon gel. It wasn't what she had originally envisioned, but there was a beauty to it she couldn't deny. "But it's pretty."
You smiled, taking a seat on a corner of her desk as you pulled out a spoon as an offering. A clean one this time.
She was hesitant. Messing the dish up would feel like a crime, but so was leaving food unattended. So she finally dug in, picking up a bit of everything before humming at the taste of it all.
âTastes the same as the failure, just⌠so much better.â
Your face lit up at the mention of that failed attempt a few days earlier. Youâd kept your word and left it at her desk, hoping sheâd have a taste despite the failure. It still had potential, and you wanted her to know.
âYou had some?â Your eyes sparkled, and it made you look so much sweeter than youâd been lately. Momo felt herself falter for a second, slipping you a gentle smile before catching herself.
She cleared her throat, lowering the spoon down, the latter clattering on the porcelain as she went for another bite.
âI did.â She nodded. âYou were right by the way. It wasnât bad at all, just⌠unfortunate looking.â
You were only surprised she was admitting it; and this easily no less.
âSo what do we do now? Do we listen to me more, orâŚ?â
Momo sighed, and a victorious smile made its way to your lips before she even uttered the words. âFine. You can freestyle a bit.â You cheered, and it took a lot for her not to mirror your happiness. âDonât get too excited. You better follow the menu.â
âOr then what?â
She only glared at you, and the switch in her gaze was enough to turn you down. Or on. [What?]
âIâm kidding. Glad to be working with you.â You said, flashing her a grin that she could only see as cocky.
Momo's eyes rolled in annoyance, getting up from her seat and picking up the blazer on the back of it. As she gathered her stuff, you understood she was going home for the day. It was getting late, the restaurant had closed a couple hours ago and all the staff was gone too. You should get going too, but you feel a sudden pang of reluctanceâŚ
âYou're going already?" You blurt out, unable to suppress the urge to keep her here just a little while longer.
Momo raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by your sudden change in demeanor. "You just shook my hand," she pointed out.
"Well, yes, but..." you trail off, grasping at your brain for any excuse to keep her here a moment longer. You couldnât explain it. You didnât understand either, but there was something about her presence that you find strangely comforting in the moment.
Maybe it was the lack of noise and chaos in the background, behind the office door she kept closed; only for you to burst it open anytime you had a complaint or an idea.
The silence, the dim lighting, their absence or her presence⌠Or the fact that she was actually pleased with your work for once. Explicitly at least. Most likely a gas leak you didnât know about that messed with your thoughtsâyou couldnât tell. But it was something.
There was something keeping you glued to that desk.
She was about to leave again, but this time you reached out and grabbed her hand, your fingers closing around hers in a firm grip. Both of you froze, the air suddenly charged with⌠again, something as you held her gaze.
"You said you'd be stepping in," you blurted out once more, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. You werenât sure what possessed you to say it, but now that it was out there, you couldnât take it back.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching as her mind raced to make sense of your words.
When sheâd told you sheâd step in, she didnât think youâd take it seriously. That was her first mistake maybe, but to her, stepping in meant overseeing the preparations, making decisions about the menu, and handling the logistical details of the banquet. She never intended to actually cook alongside you, and quite frankly, she didnât know how you could possibly think she would.
Were you stupid or purposefully getting on her nerves like you so often seemed to enjoy? Didn't you realize she had other responsibilities, obligations she had to take care of over cooking?
This was literally why sheâd sought you out.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice tinged with disbelief.
"You haven't helped once in the kitchen since we started, and it's basically been a month," You retorted, your tone edged with frustration. "For someone who prides herself on integrity, you sure are amazing at keeping your word."
Your words were like a slap to the face, and Momo felt a surge of defensiveness rise within her. Your claims sure were bold for someone who did nothing but defy her words ever since the beginning.
But beneath the anger, there's a stain of guilt, a nagging feeling that maybe - just maybe - you might have a point. From a certain angle, you could say she did kind of manipulate you into working for her by throwing that phrase; or letâs call it as it was : an empty promise.
Momo sighed as she struggled to find the right words to get herself out of this. Your gaze was merciless on her, probing and insistent as you waited for an explanation. Or just admittance.
"I meant overseeing things, making decisions about the menu, handling the logistics, the usual," she finally explained, her frustration evident in her tone. "I still have a million other things to take care of for that banquet, you know. It's not like I can just drop everything and spend all day cooking with you."
She paused, searching your face for any sign of understanding or sympathy, but all she found was a stubborn determination. A refusal to back down from your position. And despite herself, she felt a small spark of admiration flickered to life within her.
"Look," she continued, her voice softening slightly. "I appreciate your dedication, I really do. But you have to understand that I can't just drop everything to cater to your whims. I have a responsibility to my family, to our guests, to ensure that everything goes smoothly. And if that means I have to delegate certain tasks to you, then so be it."
Her words were only met with silence. She waited for your response, bracing herself for another confrontation. But to her surprise, you nodded, a hint of understanding in your eyes.
The relief washing over her heart at the sight startled her. Why did she want to see it? Why did she want you to understand anyway?
"Alright," you said, your voice calm and measured. "I get it. I just... I guess I was hoping for more, you know? More than just orders and instructions. I wanted to be a part of something. Contribute in a meaningful way."
âYou are a part of something, Y/n,â she reassured, and the hand she dropped on your shoulder caught you off guard. Her gaze had softened, but it only made you panic.
Here comes the guilt tripping, you mentally sighed, bracing for impact.
Before you could even muster an attempt to deflect the incoming emotional onslaught, she continued, her words flowing with as much determination as you were used to. "You know, this banquet isnât just another project for me. It may not seem like it, but I care about it a lot. I take it as a farewell, a thank you to my family and the opportunities theyâve gifted me."
You opened your mouth to intervene, to offer some semblance of resistance, but she plowed on, crushing any attempts to cut in. "And not only are you a part of it, youâre leading it, Y/n. I trust you."
The words hit like a ton of bricks, and for a moment, you were rendered speechless. One of the rare times in your life. Here you were, caught in the midst of a heartfelt moment, unable to muster even a hint of humor to lighten the mood. With a silent sigh, you resigned yourself to the inevitable, silently acknowledging her words.
All you could do was drop your gaze, nodding. You almost felt shameful for trying to ignore her possibly having feelings.
âThank you for trusting me.â You muttered, fiddling with your fingers before looking back at her. âIâll make sure everything goes smoothly. Food wise at least.â
Momo nodded in acknowledgment, finally removing her hand from your shoulder. Her feet stuttered before turning away. Sheâd made it to the door pretty quickly, but a sudden thought halted her tracks.
The sudden stop in the sound of her expensive heels caught your attention, and you looked up at her. Your gaze and eyebrows silently inquired her, and she smiled sheepishly. Another display of vulnerability that made your heart jump.
âCan I bring that home?â
Momo nodded towards the desk, referring to the unfinished dessert youâd brought her. She wanted to take it to her mother. Give her a preview of what was to come in a couple weeks.
The request made you smile. A little happy if you dared to say so. You reached for the plate to hand it to her, only to take it with you as you finally got up from that desk. âWait, let me get you a takeout box.â
âWe have takeout boxes?â She said, dumbfounded. You only stared at her, speechless but not surprised. You could only shake your head, before leading the way to the kitchen.
âI was just kidding by the way, I know we have them.â
She didnât. Something you proved when you made her search for them. You let her walk around and act as though she had any idea where anything was in that kitchen before she gave up and surrendered to your amused, almost mocking gaze.
You added a few more of the dayâs tests and leftovers into the box before packing it all up before sending her home with a smile.
She was nice to be around when you werenât trying to step on each otherâs toes.
â
The dining room of the Hirai residence was bathed in soft candlelight, casting a warm glow over an overly elegant table set for two. The head of the table felt empty with her fatherâs absence, a recurring one lately as he tended to matters deemed important for the company. Momo usually sat on his right, like she did tonight. Her mother, Mrs. Hirai, took her seat right across. Despite the picturesque scene, a palpable tension lingered in the air. Another recurrence Momo dreaded every day for months now.
Momo longed for the laughter that used to bring her family together around this table. The same one she announced her intent on renouncing to the heiress title. The same seat sheâd left holding back tears at the words her father had thrown at her over a year ago.
Mr. Hirai never meant any of them, she knew that. Heâd told her that, apologized soon after and long ago. But the thought, the scene, the sound⌠Itâll always tug at her heart, and dig the tears from deep within.
Momo swallowed hard at the sudden flashback, suppressing the pain. She managed to do that quite well; better as time passed.
The only problem was how she still couldnât say a word at this table.
Conversation flowed in fits and starts as both women picked at their plate. Mrs. Hirai seemed determined to bridge the gap growing between them, her attempts at small talk falling flat against Momo's stony silence.
Then came a time where she was unable to bear the awkwardness any longer. The older woman cleared her throat and fixed her daughter with a searching gaze. "Momo, dear, I must say, this is all absolutely divine. You must have put a lot of thought into it."
Momo glanced up, her eyes meeting her mother's briefly before returning to her plate. "Actually, itâs Y/n whoâs behind it all," she admitted, her tone guarded.
Mrs. Hirai's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Y/n? The new chef at your restaurant?"
Momo nodded, her mind already bracing for the inevitable conversation about her future. âA real talent for sure. Lots of potential. The whole experimenting thing is something we needed.â
Concern etched Mrs. Hirai's features before she composed herself, her expression becoming more serious. "Momo, donât you want to reconsider at least once?â
Momo's shoulders tensed, steeling herself for the argument she knew was about to unfold. "Mom, we've been over this. I've made up my mind."
Mrs. Hirai regarded her daughter with a mixture of resignation and disbelief. "Think about what youâll be leaving behind, it makes no sense! This company is your birthright, itâs your legacy, you have to uphold it."
Momo sighed, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I know, Mom, but I just don't want it. Youâre asking me to be the head of it all as if I havenât just been taking orders and following plans my whole life. Iâm telling you I canât bear all that, I donâtâŚ"
Tears pricked at Momoâs eyes, âI donât want to fail.â
"I understand, dear.â Mrs. Hirai's expression softened, a hint of sadness in her eyes. âBut you have a responsibility to the family, to your father's legacy."
"I'm trying, Mom! Why do you think I go on all these dates for?" Momo's frustration boiled over, her voice rising slightly.
Mrs. Hirai recoiled slightly at the sudden outburst, her expression pained. "Well, it is taking a while," she murmured, "Maybe you should reconsider your approach."
Momo's jaw clenched, her frustration only mounting. "It's not my fault they're all brainless," she muttered, stabbing at the poor short ribs youâd braised to perfection. "Half of them are grossly aroused by your pockets. If you're fine with that, then tell me, and I'll gladly shorten the process."
Mrs. Hirai sighed, a mix between sorrow and anger. "Momo, we just want what's best for you. The company is important, yes, but so is your happiness."
As much as the company mattered to her parents, Momoâs happiness came above all. Theyâd worked so hard to provide for her, to ensure she never lacked anything. Especially love. Theirs had birthed this wonderful girl, whom they nurtured with, only wishing for her to find her own.
Seeing their daughter ready to sacrifice such a value broke their hearts more than her leaving the company.
"I know, Mom. I just wish..." Momo's shoulders sagged, her anger dissipating as she met her mother's gaze.
Mrs. Hirai saw the opportunity to mention what's been lingering on her mind. "I noticed your father has been setting you up with Jihyo. She's a capable woman, and the Park family is influential. It could be a good match for both of you, professionally and personally."
Momo scoffed, tearing through the last of her cutlet. "Jihyoâs basically the daughter of our closest enemy. Sheâs a wild card, Mom.â
Mrs. Hirai blinked, taken aback by Momo's bluntness. It was a true definition, but such frank acknowledgment of their family's associates was rarely spoken aloud. It felt like breaking a taboo.
âMomoââ
âListen, she's a nice enough person, but she's not what I need nor want. I know Dad thinks that pushing me towards her will make me stay in the company and keep things stable. Nice try, but weâre not six, and it's not fair to either of us."
Mrs. Hirai's face softened, "Momo, he just wants to make you jealous,â she said, a light chuckle leaving her lips.
âWhat?â
âYouâre giving your father too much credit, as always.â She shook her head, clearly amused. âRemember when you actually were six and didnât want to go to bed? The way he went to grab the dog and act all cuddly with it, instead of you? Heâs doing the same with Jihyo. Grabbing the closest thing to replace you, hoping youâll come tear it up and claim your place again.â
Momo's eyes widened, processing her mother's words. She was over here claiming she was so old and mature now, but he was doing the same thing as when she was young. Getting a hold of the closest, emotionally threatening enough thing around to get her to listen to him.
"So... he's not serious about Jihyo?"
Mrs. Hirai sighed. "He's serious about wanting you to stay. He thinks seeing Jihyo in your place will make you reconsider."
Momo shook her head, feeling the tears well up in her eyes again. "I don't want to be manipulated like this. I want my decisions to be mine, not because Dad is playing games."
Her mother reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on her daughter's. "I understand, dear. But sometimes, those who love us most will do anything to keep us close."
Momo's lip trembled. "I donât care, it's not fair, Mom. How can you be okay with this?"
Hearing her mother back her fatherâs insane behavior was heartbreaking. Disappointing. Momo's chest tightened, a nauseating mix of frustration and betrayal surging within her as she caught her motherâs eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"I'm not saying I agree with his methods, Momo. But I know he's scared. Scared of losing you."
Momo looked down, her tears finally spilling over. "I just want to live my own life, make my own choices. Why can't he understand that?"
Her mother sighed, squeezing her hand gently. "Because he loves you, and he's afraid. Afraid that without the company, without us, you'll be lost. He doesn't realize how strong you've become."
Momo shook her head, frustration and sadness mingling in her heart. "I wish he could see that."
Mrs. Hirai nodded, her voice gentle. "Show him, Momo. The banquet is yours. Let him see what you can achieve on your own terms. Prove to him that you're capable of making your own choices and succeeding."
Momo took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. "You really think that will make a difference?"
Mrs. Hirai offered her a soft smile. "I do. Just be patient.â
Momo nodded, though the weight of her father's manipulations still pressed heavily on her heart. As she focused back on the food on her plate, her thoughts wandered back to you, and she couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope.
That glimmer of hope, it burned softly within her heart. Still too weak for her to feel anything other than relief at the thought of you.
â
âCan you at least pretend to be useful?â You snapped, slamming an oven door shut. âI need everyone on deck, and youâre just standing there complaining!â
The kitchen was bustling, the whole brigade rushing around to perfect their dishes as the deadline for the banquet loomed closer. Momo had scheduled a tasting tonight, placing you at the heart of the chaos. You tried to maintain control and ensure everything was perfect, but it was hard doing so when someone seemed determined to get in your way.
Momo's behavior had shifted over the past two weeks. She'd started paying more attention, trying to be more involved. It wasn't purely altruisticâshe saw a silver lining in your presence. One that could solve all her problems. You challenged her in ways she hadn't experienced since her rookie days, igniting a new source of motivation. For once, she felt driven, compelled to prove herself.
So she decided to make you feel at easeâfor her own gain, yes, but you won something in the deal, didn't you?
After that night in the office, she made it a point to be around more, offering assistance, and listening to you more.
It was promising.
But she had to ruin that too.
Today, she decided to supervise the brigade as you prepared for tonight's tasting. Her presence was only getting in the way of everyone, especially you. You tried to keep your focus, but Momo's constant hovering and her split attention were grating on your nerves.
As she stood in the kitchen, her phone buzzed constantly with texts from Jihyo. She tried to juggle the mounting pressure from her father, the complications with Jihyo, and her responsibilities; but it was obviously getting too much on one plate.
You glanced at Momo, noticing the tension in her posture, the way she bit her lip as she read her messages. The way she moved, the way her eyes sparked with intensityâit all captivated you for a second, distracting you in ways you didn't need at the moment.
Momoâs irritation mirrored yours. She snapped her head up from her phone, eyes blazing. "I would if you gave me anything remotely interesting to do. I won't just fetch things for you like some errand boy."
You scoffed, crossing your arms, trying to ignore the way her anger only seemed to add to her intensity. âSeriously? Picking and choosing at a time like this? If you were just going to screw me over you shouldnât have bothered in the first place!â
Momo only chuckled, âReally? Because I could have sworn youâd begged for me to be here.â
âRight.â You nodded. âWhen I did that I didnât think youâd take it as an invite to smear yourself all over anything I do again. We agreed youâd let me handle the kitchen, why are you so hellbent on keeping tabs, just let me do my job!â
âThis whole thing was my idea.â Momo shot back, stepping closer. âYou wouldnât even be here if it werenât for me. That name youâre so proud of means nothing without my backing.â
âYouâre not doing anything but sabotaging yourself.â Your voice dropped into a dangerous whisper. âIâm gonna need you to take your eyes off your own ass and look around you. Who do you recognize?â
Momo stayed silent, her mind racing. She glanced around, seeing the faces and eyes focused on herâsome confused, some irritated. She realized she couldnât put a single name to any of them. Her heart sank as the reality of her detachment hit her. The bustling kitchen, the brigade working tirelessly, and she couldnât even acknowledge their efforts properly.
She felt a knot of frustration and embarrassment tightening in her chest.
You chuckled, âSee what happens when youâre too busy playing corporate princess? Just let me f****** handle it.â
Her anger flared again, some kind of defense against the sting of that realization. âYou think youâre so indispensable, donât you?â she hissed. âThat your presence is the only thing holding this together? Get over yourself, Y/n.â
âSure I will. Please, lead the way like you so beautifully know how!â You gestured, hands as sarcastic as your tone.
The tension was palpable, your breaths mingling as you stood face to face, neither willing to back down. For a moment, it seemed like the argument might escalate further, but then Momo broke eye contact, her gaze shifting to her surroundings.
âYour arrogance will be your downfall,â she spat, voice trembling with suppressed rage. âYou think youâve done such a great job running this s***show, huh?â
When she looked back at you, her eyes met yours with nothing but anger as something else she couldnât quite place tried to ease itself in. She hated the way you managed to make her feelâvulnerable, exposed.
âYou better prove it tonight or Iâll make sure youâll regret ever stepping into this kitchen.â
Without another word, she turned and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving you standing amidst the chaos, that short and fragile truce between you two shattered yet again.
Tasting sure was going to be interestingâŚ
â
That same night, the dining room was elegantly arranged, a stark contrast to the chaos of the kitchen earlier in the day. The table was set with fine china and crystal glasses, casting delicate reflections under the soft, ambient lighting. Momo sat between her parents, a tight smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes. Around the table were key senior staff members, trusted friends, and a few family members, all eager to sample the menu.
You, along with your brigade, moved seamlessly between the kitchen and the dining room. You made sure to put your hard earned skills to use, presenting each course with a practiced grace, detailing the inspiration and techniques behind every dish. Despite the tension in the air linking you to Momo, your professionalism never faltered, though your eyes rarely left the plates you were serving.
Each course was met with nods of approval, murmurs of appreciation, and the occasional question, which you answered with an admirable precision. Momo, however, remained silent, her gaze fixed on her plate. Her parents exchanged glances, concern etching their features.
When dessert was finally brought out, a hush fell over the table. You presented the dishâthe deconstructed lemon meringue pieâexplaining the delicate balance of flavors and textures. The room filled with the scent of citrus and caramelized sugar.
"Momo," Mrs. Hirai's voice cut through the murmurs, "you haven't said much tonight. What do you think?"
Momo looked up, her eyes meeting her mother's before shifting uncomfortably to the food in front of her. She felt the weight of everyone's gaze, including yours as you had paused in your explanation to listen.
"It's... it's very well done," she finally said, her voice painfully devoid of any enthusiasm. "The team has done an excellent job."
Her father frowned, leaning forward. "You can do better than that. Your opinion matters here. Speak up."
Momo's jaw tightened. She spent the entire evening avoiding your gaze, the argument from earlier still fresh and raw. Both of you were acting like children after a petty feud over a toy, going out of your way to avoid acknowledging each other.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "The dessert is innovative and beautifully executed. Itâs exactly what I envisioned for the banquet."
Your eyes flickered with a mix of surprise and annoyance, recognizing the lie sheâd just pushed through her teeth. She hadnât envisioned anythingâyouâd fought tooth and nail over every detail up until hours ago.
"Thank you, Momo," Your voice strained in an attempt to stay polite. "I'm glad it meets your expectations."
The air grew thicker with obviously unspoken words. Momoâs parents exchanged another glance, sensing the underlying tension.
Mr. Hirai cleared his throat. "Itâs important for us to be honest during these tastings. If thereâs anything that needs to be improved, now is the time to speak up."
Momo felt her irritation grow. "I said it's fine, Father."
"Momo, we're just trying to help.â Her mother interjected gently, âIf thereâs anything you're not happy with, you need to communicate that."
Thatâs when you decided to step in, your tone sharp. "I think we all understand the importance of feedback. I have to say Momo's input has been invaluableâdespite her current silence."
Momo's eyes flashed with anger. "Invaluable? Really? Seems to me like my input has been more of an inconvenience to you."
Your jaw clenched. "I never said that. But if you actually participated instead of hovering, it might be more constructive."
"Participated?â She shot back. âYou mean following your every whim? I have better things to do than micromanage your kitchen."
The room fell silent, the tension palpable. You caught Momo's parents looking between you and their daughter, realizing just how deep the rift had reached.
Mrs. Hirai spoke up first to try and defuse the situation. "Letâs not forget why we're here. The food is excellent, and weâre all looking forward to the banquet. Letâs focus on that."
Momo took a deep breath, faking a smile. "Yes, Mother. You're right. The food is great. Let's enjoy it."
But the damage was done. The altercation had cast a shadow over the evening and lingered in the air, unresolved and simmering just below the surface.
â
The kitchen was finally empty, the last of the staff having been dismissed for the night. You leaned against the counter, the cool steel pressing into your back as you took a moment to breathe. The day had been long and grueling, but at least the tasting was a success, earning yourself and your brigade a few days of rest before the banquet.
You should feel relieved, at least a little bit, you knew that. Yet you couldnât break free from the weight of the air around you, mounted with tension from yours and Momoâs altercation.
It was suffocating. The hold she had on you, you could say youâd allowed it if only you could put a stop to it. If you at least wanted to make it stopâŚ
The sound of the door to the kitchen creaking open halted your thoughts and Momo stepped inside. You could tell by the heels clicking softly on the tiled floor, and the way you instantly straightened yourself.
You watched her approach with guarded eyes, noticing her arms crossed over her chest. You mirrored her posture when she came close enough, crossing your own, guarding yourself up.
Momo noticed, eyes flickering to the tattoos peeking from beneath your rolled-up sleeves. She hadnât seen those a lot, only finding out you had them when she started hanging around the kitchen more. Might have been a reason for her to do so, asking you to go and reach for utensils high-up just to peek.
She shook the thoughts away, finding your eyes and focusing on them. âHey,â she began, her voice softer than you were used to. âGood job.â
The words almost made you choke. You swallowed hard, mouth drying up at the bitterness suddenly filling your heart. Momo waited for an answer, probably feeling entitled to one before she remembered youâd never given in to her.
âHow are you feeling?â She tried again, leaning against the counter across from you. Her soft tone matched her eyes this time, so you allowed yourself to answer her.
âFine, I guess.â You shrugged, eyes sweeping the floor. âIt went well.â
She nodded, hesitating. âYeah, it did. My parents were impressed.â
âThatâs good to hear.â You replied, not looking at her.
Momo took a deep breath, steeling herself. "About earlier... I'm sorry. Iâm the one who started yelling. Wasn't really professional of me."
You chuckled, finally meeting her eyes. "Did you just apologize? Didn't know you had it in you."
Her irritation flared once more. "I'm serious, Y/n. I get that this isnât something youâre used to from me, but I can admit I was out of line."
"Okay, okay," you said, raising your hands. "Apology accepted."
You were so⌠nonchalant about it. As if you couldnât care less. If you were honest, you could, but the reaction you were having didnât exactly reflect that. It wasnât the one she expected and she didnât like it.
She almost started another argument before catching herself. Her jaw clenched, holding back some words to replace them with others she deemed more⌠gentle. Better suited to air out her frustrations. âWhy are you still so defensive? The tasting went well anyway, didnât it? Everything was perfect, my parents loved it, and everything has your name on it. You got what you wanted so why the attitude? Stop being so childish.â
That kind of shut you up. Momo couldnât believe the silence that followed her words. She was right, you were adult enough to admit that. Just not enough to do it out loud. Not enough not to talk back.
You just had to do it for some reason. Maybe it was because her words struck a nerve, hitting closer to home than you were willing to admit.
"Fine," you muttered. "But youâre not exactly making it easy."
You honestly felt like a child, not being able to process or understand what's happening, so you took out your frustrations the only way you knew how to : throwing a tantrum.
Momo sighed, exasperated. "Are you going to keep this up during the banquet too? Does talking back to me and disregarding me turn you on or something?"
You scoffed, but itâs painfully evident in the moment, that youâre indeed attracted to her. But youâd never admit that either. You wouldnât because, apart from her being attractive, you canât tell why that is. âYou wish.â
âYou know what, maybe I do.â
You felt your breath catch in your throat, and Momo caught you struggling. She wantedâno, she neededâto let you know. That you couldnât hide from her. Yet her lips refused to do anything else than let you know her own truth.
âMaybe then I could make a reason out of your behavior,â she whispered, words trembling in frustration.
Silence. Not an uncomfortable one, but odd. Eerie. Neither of you knew what the next words would be or where theyâd come from, but you sure were getting ready for them.
Her eyes weren't looking into yours anymore. They were searching, reflecting, maybe even reaching out to her own fears. You saw itâthe shift, the hesitation.
You didnât expect her to speak up first.
âIf you canât do it for me then do it for yourself,â she started, âIf this fails my family will take a hit, sure, but ultimately you and I both know weâll be fine. Your careerâs the only thing on the line here.â
Her voice was cold, icy, cutting through your ego with reminders of where you stood in this environment. In this industry. She jabbed her finger against your chest, making each one of her points clear and painful.
So you grabbed her hand, pushing it down with enough force to make a statement and let your stubbornness shine through yet again
"Don't," your voice low, enough of a threat to pull a reaction out of her too.
Momo's patience snapped. She grabbed a fistful of your white button-up, creasing up your pride and pulling you closer, her eyes not leaving yours.
You noticed for the first time, just how pretty she was and how dangerous that is. Your heart was desperate to make you feel it, practically racing against her own.
âYou know what,â a smirk quivered on your lips at how tightly she held onto you. âMaybe this is all about more than just work.â You strained out, words slipping and pushing through the limits youâd drawn around her.
You reveled in the way she let you go. Her fist released your shirt, pushing you away only for her fingers to linger on the fabric and keep you from going too far.
You made a point to step back, biting the inside of your lip when she took a stepped forward.
Maybe it did turn you on a little.
"I warned you earlier, didn't I?â Her eyes burned into yours, as if trying to distract you from the weakness sheâs been displaying. âYou do whatever you want on Friday. One wrong move, and I might just keep my word this time."
"Maybe you should," you retorted, your eyes flashing with defiance, provoking the spark of anger in her own.
Her proximity was intoxicating. It would be betraying your own words, painting a coward out of yourself, but you still tried to step away. Your foot carefully slipped back, ready to carry you elsewhere and flee.
Halfway there, and you were back to square one. Suffocating under Momoâs impulse, drowning into the feeling of her lips continuously crashing against yoursâŚ
She pulled you back in even closer, her fist having claimed itself around the fresh crease of your shirt. You didnât fight to remove it this time, finding it much easier and pleasant to surrender.
Your kisses were vicious against each otherâs. Anything but gentle, fueled by anger and weeks of built up frustrations.
You lost yourselves into a simmering attraction neither of you wanted to acknowledge. Even when you found enough strength to pull apart. And even less when you realized just how much it took to do so.
The air seemed to thin out, charged with more tension than it held moments ago. More than ever before.
Your breaths were heavy, mingling with hers as you stared at each otherâs features in shock and confusion.
Momoâs eyes were hazy, lips a neat mess and swollen from the kiss. âThis doesnât change anything.â she whispered, visibly shaken by her own actions.
You only nodded, busy trying yet unable to process the depth of what just happened. She slipped herself away from your arms and you watched her go, a mixture of frustration and longing churning in your chest.
The night felt colder, the kitchen emptier as you stood there, thoughts in a whirlwind. The kiss had changed everything and nothing, leaving both of you with more needs and questions than before.
â
âYou kissed her?!â
âNo, she kissed me!â
âThat doesnât matter!â
It really didnât, Jeongyeon was right. So you let her slap you on the arm, the sting a light and playful discipline.
A couple of days passed, and you wasted two days of your hard earned break wallowing on your couch until Jeongyeon came by to drag you out of it for brunch. You complained the whole time, for entertainment purposes, but you were thankful for her.
With how busy youâd been since joining Momo, the two of you had only seen each other once. You made sure to keep her updated though, or rather she did by pestering you and teasing you about both your behaviors. She managed to keep herself up to date with every single little thing that had happened between you and Momo.
All except the latest.
âLike itâs my fault?â You argued, âWho wears a cropped dress shirt to a tastingâŚâ
Jeongyeon chuckled at the state of you. All sprawled out on the table, chin resting on your forearm as you played with a few crumbs of your toast. She noticed the way your eyes wandered far away from this table, probably digging into your memories of Momo in that cropped dress shirt.
How pathetic, to her delight.
She shrugged at your words, reaching for her cup. âLess fabric, less stain prone. Sheâs got a point.â
You threw a piece of bread at her, but she dodged. âWhy did she wear a tie then?â You straightened yourself up in your seat. âSeems to me like that would be just as much fabric as a regular dress shirt.â
Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, âStop blaming the shirt, and get a grip. You kissed her because you like her.â
âBack. I didnât kiss her, I kissed her back.â
âThatâs still a lot of kissing. So youâre not denying it, huh?â She raised an eyebrow, and snickered when you sighed. âYou like her.â
You ran a hand through your hair, exasperated. "I don't even know what I feel, Jeongyeon. It's... complicated."
Jeongyeon smirked, leaning back in her chair. "Feelings usually are. But denying it won't make it any less true."
You groaned. "She's infuriating. One minute she's criticizing everything I do, the next she'sâ."
"Kissing you," Jeongyeon finished, taking a sip of her coffee.
You wanted to knock that smirk of hers (lovingly) off her lips, but resigned, feeling yourself smile at the joke. Too bad she was being truthful too.
"Yeah.â You fiddled with a napkin in your reach, your smile fading as you thought back to the moment. âAnd it wasn't just a peck, you know? It was... intense."
Jeongyeon chuckled. "Sounds like there's some serious chemistry there. Maybe all that fighting was just foreplay."
You glared at her, but couldn't help the small smile tugging at your lips again. "You're not helping."
She leaned forward, her expression softening. "Look, Y/n, you've always been passionate about your work. Maybe she sees that and respects it, even if she has a hard time showing it. She's probably just as confused about her feelings as you are."
You sighed again, feeling the weight of her words. "Maybe. But what do I do now? Sheâs git the worst timing ever, weâve got the banquet coming up; I can't afford any distractions."
Jeongyeon smiled knowingly. "Just be honest with yourself. And let go of your pride a little, who knows, maybe then sheâll be nice to you. If what you both truly want is for that banquet to work out, youâll know to set this aside for now. Behave, and the rest will follow. Probably."
You gave Jeongyeon a pointed look, clearly unimpressed by her attempt to absolve herself of responsibility. "Probably?" you repeated, raising an eyebrow.
Jeongyeon shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Hey, I'm just here to nudge you in the right direction. The rest is up to you. Relationships are messy, but you'll never know if you don't try."
You sighed, running a hand through your hair again. "I guess you're right. It's just... a very uncharted territory right now."
Jeongyeon nodded, her expression turning sincere. "I know. But she might just be worth getting into it, I mean⌠I wouldnât mind letting my guard down around her.â
You rolled your eyes, "Of course you wouldn't."
"You should do the same," she said teasingly. "Seriously, Y/n."
You looked down, a small smile playing at your lips. "Maybe. We'll see."
"That's the spirit,â Jeongyeon grinned. âNow finish that toast and get back out there. You've got a banquet to hold. And a girl to figure out."
You chuckled, âYeah, I do. Thanks, Jeongyeon."
"Sure. Just invite me to the wedding."
â
Momo stood in front of the grand mirror in her room, adjusting the final touches of her outfit. The sleek black suit, paired with a statement pearl choker, gave her an air of authority and elegance she loved to see on herself. The sharp lines of the fabric contrasted with the delicate jewelry, creating a powerful and refined look.
She glanced at her reflection, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Her mind raced with thoughts of the evening ahead, the guests, the speeches, the food, and most of all, you.
Since that kiss, everything had become a whirlwind of confusion. You were infuriating, challenging, and utterly impossible to read. The kiss had only complicated things further, as if that relationship needed another tangled strain. What was she thinking⌠It was hard to focus on anything else when she replayed the moment in her mind, over and over again. Your lips on hers, the intensity, the fireâit had been unexpected, unplanned, and yet, it felt strangely good.
And then there was Jihyo. The situation with her was just as headache inducing. Jihyo's texts, her father's manipulations, and the pressure to stay in the company-everything just kept weighing on her. Yet somehow, in the midst of it all, she didn't mind any of it. As if the kiss had awakened something in her, something allowing her to bear all that weight. She hadn't felt that in a long time. It made her question everything, including her feelings for you and what she truly wanted for her future.
She didnât like that. But she didnât exactly mind it either.
As she walked into the venue, her eyes scanned the room, filled with guests fighting for best dressed mingling along with some others⌠settled for comfort. The atmosphere was buzzing, poking at Momo's racing heart. She felt nervous, not just from the pressure of the evening, but from the thought of seeing you again. She hadn't seen you since that night in the kitchen, and she wasn't sure what to expect.
It took a while, but her eyes finally found you across the room, looking dapper in your chef's uniform. For the first time, as a sign of gratitude and hopefully good news for your future, you were made to wear the official uniform of the Hirai kitchens. The jet black jacket, adorned with the restaurant's insignia, felt weird and new, but the colors ⌠You could get used to them, and the material was soft enough.
You were talking to one of the guests, a polite smile on your face, but she could see the tension in your posture. You must have felt her gaze because you looked up, eyes locking with hers for a brief, electrifying moment.
You took Jeongyeon's advice to heart, determined to behave, to keep things professional despite the need to lash out at your own confusing feelings, and by extension; her. So you approached her cautiously, using the distance separating her from you to try and calm that pounding in your chest.
"Momo," you greeted, your voice came out steady enough, but your eyes betrayed your nerves.
"Y/n," she replied, her own voice calm.
You stood there for a moment, the silence hanging heavy with the memory of your kiss, a palpable tension neither of you could ignore.
"You look nice. Very professional," You finally said, breaking the silence. Your words were sincere, and for a moment, Momo's heart slowed.
"Thank you," she replied, a small smile playing on her lips. "You look... different."
You chuckled, the sound easing some of the tension. "Yeah, I do. It feels weird but... good."
You stood still. Just there, awkward and unsure, the weight of the evening pressing down on you. Anyone passing by could tell there was something between you two, although not able to put their finger on it. Not any more than you could. But you tried; to find a way to move forward without letting your emotions get in the way of the night's success.
"I think we should... talk maybe," You said, your voice dropping to a low, almost hesitant tone.
Thankfully Momo nodded, wanting nothing more. Until she remembered where she was. "Yeah, we do. But maybe not here. Later?"
"Later," you agreed, relief evident in your eyes. "For now, let's focus on tonight."
"Agreed," she said, her resolve strengthening. "Let's give them a night to remember."
â
The banquet was in full swing, and Momo couldnât help but feel a sense of pride as she watched the guests enjoy the evening. After her brief but intense interaction with you, sheâd thrown herself full swing into hosting, greeting the most important guests warmly and ensuring everything was running smoothly. She could see you, now dressed in the official Hirai colors, making your rounds with the staff in the kitchen through the glass doors.
She liked the sight. Enjoyed it even.
As the main courses began to be served, Momo took a moment to catch her breath, her eyes scanning the room. Everything seemed perfect, but she knew better than to let her guard down, and just as she was about to step back into the fray, one of the staff members approached her, looking visibly distressed.
"Ms. Hirai, we have a problem in the kitchen," the staff member whispered urgently, causing a surge of anxiety within her.
âWhat kind of problem?â
"The main course... there's an issue with the meatâwell, itâs more the ovens not working properlyâbut we don't have enough time to fix it without some quick thinking."
Momo's heart picked up the pace again. This could ruin the entire evening.
Without a second thought, she hurried towards the kitchen, her mind racing with solutions. As she entered, she found you there, looking equally concerned.
âY/n,â she called out, catching your attention. âWe have a problem.â
The tension between you both flared up instantly, old arguments resurfacing in the heat of the moment. You tried to stay focused, but her presence was both a distraction and a relief. You were stressed, and seeing her only added to the pressure.
Momo crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What's going on? Why wasn't I informed earlier?"
Your jaw tightened, trying to keep your frustration in check. "It's under control. We have a backup plan. I'm using the emergency meat, but we need to cook it quickly and differently."
"Good," she said, biting back her irritation. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
You paused, debating on teasing her about stepping in, but it wasn't the time nor place. "Can you go around and make sure everyone is on time? Report back to me if there's any issue."
She nodded, her gaze softening slightly. "Got it."
As she moved through the kitchen, checking on the staff and ensuring everyone was on schedule, she couldn't help but notice the tension in your posture. Despite the pressure, you remained in control, your hands moving with precision as you prepped the backup meat. She saw the way your brows furrowed, the way you bit your lip in concentration. It struck her how much you actually cared, how deeply invested you were in all this.
When she returned to you, she gave a quick update. "Everyone's on track. No issues so far."
"Good," you replied, a brief moment of relief flashing in your eyes before the stress settled back in. "Thank you."
Momo only nodded. She wanted to say more, to ease your tension, but the words wouldn't come. So she just took a step back, intending to head back out when her eyes caught sight of a pile of uncut vegetables next to you.
"Is anyone on these?" she asked, motioning to the vegetables.
You cussed under your breath at the sight of them, wiping the sweat from your forehead. The meat chaos had messed with your train of thoughts... "Damn it, no. I completely forgot."
Momo stepped closer, pushing her sleeves up. "Relax. I'll handle it."
"WhatâAre you sure?"
You would question the move, but the help she was offering was too precious.
Momo nodded, already reaching for a knife. "Yeah. How do you want them cut?"
The way she proceeded to handle that knife shouldnât have been a surprise. She did belong to a respectable culinary lineage, but seeing her in action was something else entirely.
You felt a strange sense of relief wash over you as you witnessed her skills from the corner of your eye. The fact that she was actually helping you made the situation feel a little less overwhelming.
The two of you worked side by side, and you could feel the tension easing up its hold onto the two of you as the minutes passed.
It was suddenly easier to breathe.
â
Much later in the night than youâd have liked, you stood outside the restaurant, the air of the night cool against your skin as you savored the last drags of your cigarette.
The streets were calm, the occasional hum of traffic in the distance adding a weirdly soothing track to the end of it all.
The banquet, everything had finally come to an end, and successfully, but the lingering thoughts of Momo and your unresolved tension clouded your mind.
You mindlessly watched as the guests left one by one, their laughter and chatter fading as they climbed into expensive cars and drove away. The soft glow of taillights disappeared around corners, leaving the street empty and silent every time.
You exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl into the dark sky above.
Sure, that little moment in the kitchen earlier was nice, but⌠There was still a lot to work through.
A familiar sound of stilettos against the rough concrete pulled your eyes off and away from some sweet looking Mercedes. It didnât compete with the sight you knew was awaiting
Momo stepped outside and startled you with a soft, âYou smoke too much.â
You looked over, a faint smile on your lips. âWell, Iâm trying to quit, but I deserve this one.â
She chuckled, taking a seat beside you. You watched her, feeling bad for the expensive suit youâd eyed any chance you got. All night. âYouâll mess your pretty clothes up,â you said, stubbing out the cigarette.
âWho cares,â she brushed off. âNightâs over anyway.â
You nodded. Couldnât argue with that. âCongratulations, by the way. Was your mom proud?â
Momo smiled at the recent memory of her parents congratulating and thanking her for her hard work. âYeah, they both were.â
You eyed her fingers as they fiddled with each other. It made you smile, how no matter how hard she tried, she couldnât seem to hide that shy part of her.
âWas the outfit supposed to be a statement?â you asked, and she shuffled, telling you it might have been. It amused you. âYou shouldnât have. Did it shake you up that much?â You smirked as though you hadnât gone to cry about it to Jeongyeon.
âAbout that nightâŚâ she trailed off, silently hoping youâd take the reins.
âItâs okay. I wonât tell your suitors.â You shrugged, half-jokingly.
A small, playful but sincere gesture that slapped Momo in the face. She had completely forgotten about her little side quest with the pressure of the past few days. And also because youâve been the only thing on her heartâs mind since your kiss. Before stepping out to join you, she even cut things off with Jihyo through a text, thinking it was finally the end of it all. Sheâd forgotten about all the other ones.
âOh.â She managed to say after slowing her thoughts down. âThanks.â
âNo problemâŚâ
A few long and awkward seconds passed.
âWait, are you gonna carry on with those?â
Momo pursed her lips, thinking. âI donât know.â
She really had no idea. She wasnât even sure she wanted to quit the company anymore. Until her dad told her heâd slowly been warming up to her decision as he left moments ago, she forgot this was her last project.
It was great news, yeah, if it werenât for one little detail you helped her realise a little too late.
She didnât want it to be.
Momo cleared her throat, her lips opening and closing a few times before managing to get the words out. âAre you going to stick around?â she tentatively asked.
You shrugged, playing it cool although you had a feeling her question meant good news. Hopefully in both professional and personal parts of your life. âIf you want me to.â
Momo grinned, âI wouldnât mind.â
You nodded, suppressing a smile. âWill you?â you asked, and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. âWill you stick around too? Or are you quitting and leaving the country to become a dance teacher on the other side of the world?â
âHow do you know I dance?â She laughed.
âYouâre a public figure, Momo. Investments make headlines, especially the heartfelt ones,â you reminded, referring to the time she donated a generous amount to her old dance school in need.
âYouâve been keeping tabs on me?â
âNot really. Just news stuff.â
âRight.â You felt her eyes on you, rightfully suspicious. Another silence settled, although this one was a little less awkward and shorter. âHave you always wanted to be a chef?â
You simply nodded at the question, not wanting to dull the moment with details. âThank you for the opportunity by the way. I donât think Iâve ever thanked you, how rude of me.â
âYouâre welcome,â she chuckled. âYou deserved it. A lot of guests asked me to send their compliments to the chef.â
Her nudge to your ribs made you pull away instinctively, the sudden contact sending a rush of warmth to your chest. You looked down, hiding your smile as your mind rewound back to your first meeting. âYou never called me chef, by the way.â
âAnd I never will,â she said assuredly, making you chuckle. It was all you could do for now with your focus on her hand fiddling with your own, watching as she intertwined her fingers with yours, the other caressing the exposed and sketched skin of your forearm.
She sure had gotten comfortable. The way she leaned into you, her touch becoming more familiar and assured... You wondered where it came from for a second before remembering how bad of a job you were doing at hiding the effect she had on you so far.
Well, if thatâs what it got youâŚ
âBet on that?â You teased. A little provocation, for grounding purposes.
Momo just nodded though, still assured, and it made you even more curious about what she had in mind for her to be. âWhy not?â you probed.
She only smiled, observing your features long enough to make you blush in the night. She inched her face closer to yours, her hand squeezing around yours. It felt only natural for you to lean in, and the nose scrunch she did was new, but the grin that came with it had you guessing it was a good thing. She couldnât help but giggle as you leaned in, and you almost forgot what had pushed you so close until she spoke up.
âIâll call you much better, and more flattering things than âchefâ⌠darling,â she whispered.
You folded immediately, and this time, you were the one that kissed her. This one was much sweeter, softer. Flavors from the night dancing on your lips, teasing the ones on your tongues. Dessert and smoke, a blend of sweetness and bitterness that felt just right.
When you finally pulled apart, breathless, you felt her lips turn into a smirk against yours.. âDoesn't mean weâre done arguing, though.â
âIt doesn't?â
She shook her head, her free hand reaching for a displaced lock of your hair. âNot until you quit smoking.â
âI told you Iâm already trying to.â
âI know, but I also happen to think you look hot doing it.â
âCanât wait to fight about me being hot then.â
âââ
epilogue if you want
@cry4mina thank you for supportively bullying me to finish this i hope you liked it
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So obviously after the Joe breakup shit changed we had that ratty twatty and then suddenly travis. Like ratty twatty first of all made it seem like you know this person is like horrible yet you choose to be with him? Everyone called her (rightfully) out I feel like cause he is really a twat of a person and the whole ice spice collab to basically "save" Matty twattys image. I also felt like it was unfair of her fans to force her to break up with him I mean it's her life. And Joe during this time went through so much shit after the break up I remember he was papped and everyone made fun of how skinny he is and how horrible he looks (he had bags under his eyes on the photo) which is actually sad cause he lost his grandmother I think during that time and people were genuinely saying disgusting things and saying mother is looking so much better etc etc while Joe was having a downwards spiral. Again I understand no one knew his depression was that bad but fuck swifties can be more kind.
Exit ratty twatty enter travesty lord this man gives me the ick.
Swifties are blinded by their relationship but he is really not a good dude. I mean that video live of him pushing his coach and yelling? Videos online of him being openly racist, being a trump supporter (and also swifties are dumb they think bc he got vaccinated and bent the knee for black lives matter he is somehow Democrat?) honey trump is vaccinated as well. And just because he supported blm does not make him a good person. He was PAID to do all that performative shit.
I mean she has millions of fans, thousands of young girls thinking the blatant red flags of travesty is hot and shit. Tells me he can push her around too. (not to mention he supported his abusive friend that literally hit his wife.)
And it feels like she's forcing travesty tbh? Like girlie you wanted the art to be about you yet you let some man overshadow it. Because truly that's what's happening like swifties are more into him at this point and the relationship they made up in their head as Taylor.
This is where I got annoyed and took a step back. Each time they were seen Joe got thousands and thousands of hate just for what being introverted?
Then they attacked Emma (Joe's Co worker) for a cheating rumor THEY MADE UP and the shit they said were so genuinely disgusting she had to switch off her comments.
Then Ai audio dropped about Joe abusing Taylor and Ai videos circled making it seem like Joe is a cheater when he is NOT. fuck they even trended a sex scene with that Alison chick he worked with saying he said Alison (her real name) and not her character's name when he DID NOT. It was in the fucking series! This woman got slut shamed so bad she turned off comments too for literally WORKING with Joe. Swifties literally spread shit around that he cheated on Taylor with Emma and Alison when he didn't! And the fucking best of all Taylor was on the set while filming conversations with friends. She most likely saw it IN PERSON and they chose to say all this genuinely disgusting shit about Alison who I've learned is actually a pretty good person.
Here I got genuinely disgusted.
So okay again I understand that Taylor can't control all her fans but her silence while her cult mass harrases people?
Whats insane to me is Joe. Like the guy got so much hate because SHE CHOSE to lead fans on. When she announced ttpd everyone thought the title relates to Joe and Paul mescal
Joe got mass hate
Then the secret songs at eras being about cheating
Joe got death threats
ALL TO BE AN ALBUM ABOUT THE FUCKING SEWER RAT SHE CAN'T GET OVER?!
she literally took ALL the hate against Joe *knowing* she's releasing an album dissing her 6 weeks situationship is genuinely disgusting. I cannot fathom it.
And AND the only thing she could say about Joe is dude did not want to marry her bc he was severely depressed WHICH IS NOT HER PLACE TO TALK ABOUT HIS STRUGGLES?
like I am SORRY this man wants to d word next to her and she just didn't care and wanted to fuck Matty?
Her partner, that got her through her darkest times BTW, did not deserve this.
She let all this mass harrasment just happen to market ttpd. Like genuinely what the actual fuck. 2 innocent women Emma and Alison were attacked and called sluts for genuinely existing and breathing the same air as Joe. And the proof he did not cheat is in her OWN lyrics. (which swifties cannot seem to fucking read bc they'd rather attack Joe than admit this album is about a sewer nazi rat)
The hate Joe got made me cry. The disgusting things they said about him. Swifties literally threatening to bash his head in with a hammer or that he needs to hang himself and they'd enjoy seeing his body swinging from the roof.
Genuinely why would any person say this to anyone at any time?
And they made fun of depression like. What. The. Fuck. Just because Joe might not see it does not mean other people with crippling depression won't.
Oh and a side note she's still bringing up Kim on albums? Not just Kim Kim's CHILD?! leave the kid alone.
Genuinely feel like the most honest Taylor we got was during lover (a time which Joe helped her voice her political opinions and shit) and idk I just feel cheated on?
My whole life I've defended Taylor against everyone and I genuinely feel like she's showing her true colors now being with travesty and ratty and I cannot fathom how this is the same Taylor I'm seeing now as she was like a few years ago.
And it's not just Joe that got death threats BTW. When midnights came out and everyone gave honest reviews cause that evil Jack antonof little gay man ruined the production there were journalists literally getting so much death threats its insane.
Taylor gets (rightfully) called out and fans can't handle it.
She needs to address them ASAP. All these parasocial freaks. The people harrasing Joe. The people literally only seeing Taylor as a breeder for travestys children.
I can't genuinely I can't this is not how I want to feel about Taylor I mean I gave her my youth I looked up to her so much I feel so disappointed in the way she's acting yk?
Yes maybe she can't do jack shit about swifties but she can try.
And her staying quiet over Palestine? Her voice her one post about a ceasefire could change EVERYTHING.
idk at this point I can't stand to be around Taylor.
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yandere jeff the killer headcanons.
a/n: i had a thought and then the thought spiraled. did i write this to cope? ...perhaps. apparently, when i'm sad, i write yandere content, so. the more you know. maybe i should try making a yandere blog again idk. is this kinda bad? yeah, yeah it is. did it bring me out of a gloomy slump? yeah. it did. it did it's job, so that's all that matters. about halfway through writing this i was like 'is this really yandere atp bc honestly he would just do this casually' but i mean yeah. yeah it, is. listened to pet by a perfect circle while writing this so thumbs up it influenced me a bit.
warnings: gn!reader, yandere content, possessive behavior, ownership, toxic pre-relationships, stalking, isolation, blood, murder, yeah a guy gets decapitated, implied future kidnapping, mockery perhaps, throwing up.
He wouldn't be able to tell you what it is about you that caught his interest because he doesn't know.
You lived across the street from some random couple he killed, and he saw you getting ready for bed through the window of your home, and for some reason, you just... stayed in his mind.
It honestly annoyed him beyond belief. No matter what he was doing, his mind would always drift back to you for some reason. It pissed him off, but not enough to want to kill you. Which only confused him even more.
He hates this, actually. What the fuck.
The most logical thing he decides to do is watch you from afar. He thinks that, maybe, if he stalks you a little bit, his interest in you will fade once he sees how boring you are or something, and then he can kill you and go on his merry little way.
Turns how the exact opposite happens.
A couple weeks into stalking you, Jeff learns that his interest is not at all going away. If anything, it only seems to have gotten worse. This interest he has in you unnerves him a little bit, which is saying a lot because there's not a lot that can make Jeff feel uncomfortable.
He's developed emotional attachments to people before. I mean, yeah, he's a serial killer but he's not heartless. He has feelings. He's just never felt... this before. And it's strange.
But he doesn't hate it. I mean, he does. But he doesn't at the same time, y'know?
For a while, the stalking is all he really needed. He would follow you around maybe once every couple of weeks, and you would be none the wiser. But then it became once a week. And then it was every other day. And now it's whenever he's not doing anything else.
And you're starting to feel his eyes on you wherever you go. You try to brush it off as you just being paranoid, perhaps a sudden discomfort with crowded places or your mind just playing tricks on you when you're alone. It's hard to ignore though, especially when you're in the comfort of your own home.
Jeff thinks your sudden awareness of him watching you is cute. He likes seeing you look over your shoulder every couple of minutes whenever you're outside. He likes how you're always searching for him.
And that's when a shift happens. Alongside his interest in you, a feeling of ownership begins to form.
He started to feel an itch whenever he saw you interacting with other people. At first, the itch only came when you spoke to your friends and family. But then it started to happen when he saw you talking to random service workers as well.
Now, he can't just go around and kill every single person you speak with. He can, however, kill your friends! But don't worry, he doesn't kill all of them. He doesn't want you to feel lonely just yet. He just kills the ones that are too close for his liking.
And he doesn't exactly hide that he's the one who kills them. Why would he? Besides, why would you suspect that the infamous serial killer, Jeffery Woods, is your stalker? I mean, no one would come to such a conclusion. It's all just a coincidence.
But you know better. So when you start to isolate yourself from your friends in hopes that, if there is a chance that he's the person who's been watching you these past couple of months, it'll keep them safe.
And, well... it almost makes Jeff wanna go 'awww' because isn't that just adorable? Honestly, if he didn't have so much fun scaring you from a distance, he'd probably whisk you away right then and there.
He hates that he loves you, and he loves that he can't grow to hate you.
It goes on like this for a while, to be honest. You keep yourself isolated, and if Jeff sees you getting too close to anyone, he'll kill them as a reminder to be good. You haven't even officially met him yet, and he's already in control of your life.
But don't worry, he doesn't just kill the people who try to get close to you! He also kills the ones who say anything bad about you. He doesn't take too kindly to people who badmouth something, or someone, that belongs to him.
Even if you don't want to acknowledge the fact that you belong to him, it's hard to ignore.
Especially now.
You could only stare down in horror at the gift left for you on your doorstep. It was so early in the morning, the sun only just begun rising when you had received a knock on your door.
With how things have been these past few months, you obviously were cautious when you went to see who was there.
A quick peek out the window showed you that no one was there, and for a moment, you thought that maybe some random kids had decided to pull a dumb ding-dong-ditch prank on you.
But that's when you noticed something sitting in front of your door.
You should've just left it alone. Hell, you should've called the cops or something to inform them of a suspicious package left at your house, but you didn't.
Your curiosity is going to get you killed someday, that's for sure.
But you weren't reckless. You made sure to quickly head to your kitchen to grab a knife for protection before you went back to the door to see what had been left behind.
It was... a box.
Nothing that would be too suspicious, if it weren't for the fact that you were most definitely being stalked by a maniac serial killer who may or may not want to kill you. How are you supposed to know his intentions?
There wasn't only a box, of course.
There was a folded note resting on top of the box with your name on it, and in front of it, there was a rose that still had its thorns.
Alarms were going off in your mind, but there was that feeling of being watched again. He was watching you. You could feel him looking at you expectantly, but when you glanced around outside, you couldn't see him.
But you knew he was there. And he wanted you to see what he left for you. He wanted to see your reaction.
That tidbit of knowledge in mind made your nerves spike, and you could already feel nausea burning in your stomach as you hesitantly picked up the note resting atop the box.
Your hand shook as you unfolded the note, and you couldn't deny the wave a fear that washed over you as you read the words written down.
You owe me.
Three little words shook you to your core. Whatever was inside this box was not something you wanted to see, that's something you knew. The grip you had on the knife tightened for a moment as you set the note to the side and carefully moved the rose of the box, making sure you didn't prick your fingers on the thorns.
You had to take in a few deep breaths, setting the knife down and using both your hands to lift the flaps of the box to take a peek inside. You... weren't entirely sure what you were looking at for a moment, brows pinching together as you open the box a bit more to get a better look at the item sitting inside of it.
That's when you make eye contact with the decapitated head of a coworker who had been harassing you these past couple of days.
And you immediately scurried back inside and hurried to the kitchen, where you proceeded to throw up the dinner you had last night into the thankfully empty sink.
You had to swish some water around in your mouth to get the leftovers out, and you left the sink on to clean some of the vomit as you hurry back outside, this time holding your phone to call the police and keep an eye on the stuff that would no doubt be considered evidence.
But instead of finding a box with a head in it, you find a different sight. The box, the note, and the knife you had left behind were gone. The rose was still there, sitting on top of a new note.
This one wasn't folded like the last one, so you could see the words clear as day, and it truly felt as if the world was caving in around you as you stared down at the note. It felt like you were being mocked, to be honest.
See you soon.
#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer x you#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#yandere x reader#yandere jeff the killer#yandere jeff the killer x reader#yandere creepypasta#yandere creepypasta x reader
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hello! i rlly love your blog and the way you explain things
how do i just apply? whenever i do i stress that iâm doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info and things i have to make sure iâm doing right then i spiral and over consume again. i donât want to rely on tumblr anymore.
whatâs the simplest way to apply all of this and just âmanifestâ (i donât rlly like this word bc it implies thereâs a process or that iâm trying to get) my dream life? thank you
hi! ty!
it takes some courage! i also read a lot as a way to feel secure, but eventually i just got tired and just decided 'i have no more fears from this day on! done with this!' and i made it a practise to stop avoiding myself whenever something comes up
its all very natural, i can't say how you'll just finally decide that your over this lol
"whenever i do i stress that iâm doing it wrong because i feel overwhelmed by the amount of info"
well, learn how to stop yourself in the moment. you're putting too much pressure on your character! it only know what it knows now, it will not accept anything outside of what it already knows! thats why you leave it alone. read all you want to read, but stop when you feel like you have to. like you must. let yourself relax.
"i donât want to rely on tumblr anymore."
good! keep going!
"whatâs the simplest way to apply all of this"
just do it. try it and see. something that is a recurent theme in all the posts and book i read, is to try it. experiment. just for this one moment, let all the worries go. promise to never make problems for yourself again. you've given up troubles now, no more. just test it and see. surrender. let the mind cry and scream, for this moment, you won't allow it to deter you from freedom.
i'll give a list of stuff that helped me
theres only now -> stop bringing the past to now, learn to sit in the present moment
stop avoiding emotions, sit with the fear, discomfort etc
you already are Self! nothing can undo that!
be patient
non attachment (or detachment)
experiment - take something you already know and test it
question everything
find out what are the stories you want, what the desire will supposedly give you
it is not necessary to get rid of thoughts or images just stop deriving identity from them
"am i arguing for my limitations?"
soon more lovely thoughts and images will appear in your awareness and you can choose what you want
can you outgrow it? not you. observe it? not you. in the absense of it, you don't dissapear? not you.
be okay with not having it. get to a place where no one and no thing can disturb you (and your happiness and peace)
just see how absurd all this shit is. like i was born? what was it like before i was born? why is it normal to hear your voice in your head? no one knows what tomorrow is but we all worry abt it, where tf does the voice in your head come from? how can we actually identify feelings, what if the feeling pride isn't actually pride and you've been lied to? do you know how crazy this is for an infant?! we say we are an [x] person and that changes and so we say we are an [y] person, so who are we?? if we can change like that? being a human is confusing, seek the truth out and question all
just start to disidentify as the body-mind. when you disidentify as the body-mind you'll start to feel better as all the pressure you put on your character falls away. this will intice you to keep going as you feel freer!
have fun!! go and live life!! appriciate what you have now - this is all expressing the character, omnipr3sence, perfectly! you'll start to see "i barely thought abt x 2 days ago and now i see it here lol" "i was worrying about y and now i see it here too" "oh so this comes along with being the character too, maybe i should change that story"
you're in your own dream, see it as your dream and you'll start seeing the connections.
no need to convince the character, just move on. let yourself doubt this 'reality'
disclaimer: i'm still learning too! so please keep practising and have your own epiphanies!
reading
habit
no need to convince
behaviour
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i like had this thought in the back of my head of like what ateez would be like with an S/O who has a physical illness bcs i actually have one which causes a lot of pain to my bones and i'm like in a constant state of pain and discomfort, been going on for about 12 years HELL YA âđť, if i don't keep up on my meds (currently don't have the proper meds so it only tides me over for a little while-) then im basically fucked so IDK i feel like there isn't a lot of stuff written about this kind of stuff (im a sucker for shit i hardly ever am able to read abt) ALSO IM NOT 100% SURE IF YOUR REQS WERE OPEN BCS I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING POSTED ABT IT SO- YA- if you don't want to write it obviously you don't have to !! no pressure at all lovely
ATEEZ Caring for You: Chronic Illness Edition | SFW
Pairing: ATEEZ x Gender Neutral!Reader/You/Yn Rating: SFW Genre:Â fluff, slice of life, headcanons, imagines, scenarios. Warnings: chronic illness + immunocompromised talk.
đď¸ Note: Hey atiny anon! You actually asked the right person; I have fibromyalgia combined with a few other annoying chronic illnesses. Because you can't just have one đ I hope that you can find a decent fucking doctor and get on the proper medication soon. That's the biggest part of the struggle, finding a physician that will listen and is competent enough. I hope this was enough, I tried to assign each member a caring task that I felt fit them! Has not been beta-ed.
Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.Â
SeonghwaÂ
Heâs here to help you prevent all the chronic pain that he can. Booking you massage visits. Trips to the hot springs. All the arnica rubs. Silly little games the two of you play, to keep your mind off the pain and depression spirals. His favorite is seeing who can build their new Lego set the quickest. Hwa is the biggest advocate for you, he would never return a dish at the restaurant when its wrong. But he will fight for you at every appointment, every pharmacy, wherever you need him to. Because he knows you've grown tired of fighting all the time.
Hongjoong
HJ's specialty is flexibility. You have a sudden burst of energy? Heâs down to go explore that new pop-up market with you. Youâve come down with a bout of bone numbing pain? Thatâs cool, youâre getting changed into comfy clothes and piled up on the couch. Swaddled in your heating pad with all the snacks. Where he falls asleep on your shoulder. HJ never gets frustrated with your rapid change in mood or plans. Nothing but the most understanding partner you could ever have asked for, and boy is he so cute and snuggly when dozing on you. Small hands seeking your face for drowsy kisses that soothe your aches just a smidge.
Yunho
The quiet presence, the one who knows what you need before you say it. Passing you tissues, making you a cup of tea and most importantly holding you so that you can cry. Shedding angry tears about how frustrated you are with your own body for betraying you. For feeling weak. For missing out on things. He's gently calming every frayed nerve in your brain. Reassuring you that you're exactly where you need to be in this moment, and he will bring all of the fun to you. And he does, in small, manageable doses.
Yeosang
His way of caring for you is through caring for your outside. All the skin masks, hair treatments, skin softening lotions because if you feel cruddy, at least he can make you feel cute and comfortable. They do heal though, in their own way. The extra moisture of the humidifier and every cream and essence he buffs into your skin helps keep some of the aches away. Subsiding the itchiness of the nerve pain, just a little. And you canât get over how cute Yeosang looks in each animal themed headband or with his hair tied back into teeny space buns or how nice his hands feel every time they glide over your skin.
San
Where Yunho is quietly attentive, San is passionately attentive. You cry, he cries (while holding you). Quite literally your pain, is his pain and heâs here to be with you through each step. No judgment is ever passed when he has to pick up your extra chores around the house. Because to him, that is the smallest act of service he can perform for you. San is the one who wishes he could take on your pain, that he could fight it and destroy it and it pains him that he cannot. So he will simply have to do everything else.
Mingi
He thrives on making you laugh and smile through tough days, because he understands feeling burdensome. Mingi never wants you to feel that way, he wants to make sure you verbally know that your presence is needed and welcome. His favorite thing is cuddled up in bed with you wrapped in your heated blanket watching shows. You looking so small in his arms, giving him the feeling of protecting something. He reassures you constantly, because he himself seeks constant reassurance. Mingi never tires of this, he will reaffirm every single self deprecating thought with a compliment even on his worst days.
WooyoungÂ
He cares for you with his skinship, which is incredibly healing. His happy heartbeat encourages yours. His strong hands make you feel loved and needed. Who would cuddle him if not you? Woo often reminds you, whispering the phrase into your ear as he traces his nails through your hair, or while rhythmically drawing circles on your spine. Making you float into dream land and anchoring you in the moment with him at the same time. Woo also loves making you whatever dish youâre craving, knowing you need energy to fight off fatigue and pain. And cooking is one of his many, many love languages.
Jongho
Needing to hoard all the extra rest you can get; you seek out solace at Jonghoâs place for nap time. Jongho has taken notice, heâs also taken inventory as to which blankets of his you prefer, the pillows that keep you asleep the longest, what temperature you prefer the room to be based on what youâre wearing. All your favorite snacks before or after. New blackout curtains. Heâs made his place your ultimate nap zone. New heated blankets. Duplicates of your fave lounge wear and socks. And he takes his payment in cuddles. Holding you tightly in his bed or sprawled on the couch. Sometimes he falls asleep himself and flips you onto your back to bury into your side like a full-sized teddy bear.
Š COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.
#ateez#ateez headcanons#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic fatigue#invisible disability#invisible illness#ateez x you#ateez x reader#ateez x y/n#ateez x male reader#ateez x gender neutral reader#ateez x atiny#imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#atz#atiny#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho
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Liar pt.8
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
Pairing: Gojo x fem!eader
Warnings: ANGSTTTT, but fluff at the end, cussing, drinking, grinding, NOT PROOFRED, i don't think there's anything else but as always lmk if there is.
Note- the italics is a flashback, actually, Satoru's entire section is a flashback from pt 7.
Word Count: 1.3K
A/N: VFYVKD. Guys, I think this might be the last part to this seriesđđđđ This has been a journey, thank you so much for everyone who has read this far, I truly and deeply appreciate every single one of youâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸ I don't want it to endddd, so lmk if you would like me to keep writing for this au bc I would LOOVE to.
(Requests open)
Satoru
He was beginning to feel like he was slipping. He hadnât had a glass since the shot he took before Kaito came to spend the night with him. Although it was now night and hours since his son had left, he naively thought that he had overcome his addiction since he hadnât felt the urge to drink the whole time he was with Kaito.Â
Oh how wrong he was. He needed to get a drink and fast. He jumped into his car and began speeding to the nearest liquor store, only to find it with an eight-person line. He didnât have the patience to wait that long and made his way to a bar. Any bar, honestly speaking, he had no idea where he even was.Â
He quickly went over, ordered, and chugged five tequila shots consecutively. Once the alcohol finally kicked in, he finally began to feel like himself again.Â
âHe is disgusting. What kind of pathetic, sorry excuse of a man canât survive without drowning himself in alcohol? How was he supposed to win you back and be a father for Kaito in such a state?âÂ
These were the thoughts that ran rampant through his mind as he ordered a glass of whiskey, this time much more relaxed, seated on his stool, staring lifelessly into the endless abyss.Â
He was slowly sipping his drink when he felt a pair of hands clutch his shoulders before slowly gliding down his arms. Because of his inebriated state, he wasnât able to sense them approaching, however, he just chose to ignore, only seeming to amuse the stranger. He slowly turned his seat to face them.Â
He was completely unamused when his eyes landed on a young woman clearly intent on getting into his pants. She evidently thought that she was the most beautiful girl in the room, therefore deserving a chance at him, but all he could think of was how ugly she looked in comparison to you. He just rolled his eyes, trying to go back to wallowing in self-pity. The lady just wouldnât let up, turning around before she began grinding against him to the beat of the music. Foul, Satoru thought, feeling his patience run thin.
âGet away from me you fucking slut,â he hissed, venom lacing his words as he placed his hand on her waist, trying to push her away when next thing he knows, a palm is making contact with his cheek, landing a harsh slap across his face. It was only then that he finally sensed your cursed energy. He quickly turned to face you, heart plummeting when he saw tears streaming through your face.Â
Shit, he can only imagine what this looked like to you. He tried to reach out to you but you just screamed at him and ran away from him.Â
He began to panic.Â
His heart was racing.Â
The world around him was spinning and despite how hard he tried, he couldnât move a single inch. His vision was getting spotty and all he could hear was the ringing in his ears. He felt like he was going to vomit.Â
WHY! WHY HIM, WHY NOW! WHY COULDNâT HEJUST CONTROL HIMSELF AND STOP FUCKING DRINKING! He was absolutely torturing himself in his head as he spiraled.Â
He finally mustered the strength to run after you, leaving the unnamed girl where she stood, utterly confused.
He ran as fast as his legs could take him but you were nowhere to be found.Â
He leapt into his car and drove as fast as the vehicle could go. He was at Jujutsu tech in about five minutes but that was the longest five minutes of his entire life. He had to get to you. He needed to explain, he needed to make sure you know that it wasn't what it looked like.
Y/N
After crying your heart out on the sidewalk, you eventually made your way back to Jujutsu Tech. You texted Shoko and asked her if she could take care of Kaito for the rest of the night. You felt so guilty for staying away from him for two nights in a row but you just couldnât bear to have him see you like this.
Just as you were about to close the dorm door behind you, you heard running and frantic breathing approach. You didnât even bother trying to fight Gojo as he forced his way through the door you were trying to shut.
âY/N p-pleaseâ he took a pause, slightly hunched over as he attempted to catch his breath, âI pro- I promise it wasnât what you looked like!â he tried to explain, clearly panicked.Â
âWhat the fuck do you mean itâs not what it looked like, Gojo.â you questioned, putting emphasis on how you said his name. It felt like you were continuously stabbing him with a jagged dagger and he felt his knees getting weak but he couldnât let you go, not now.
âMy love please! I swear on my life it wasnât! I wasnât trying to do anything with her fuck! I donât even know her name!â âThen what was it Gojo! She was grinding on you and you were FUCKING ENJOYING IT, DONâT YOU DARE LIE TO ME! I KNOW WHAT I SAW!!â You yelled your throat raw.
âI was trying to get her away from me! Please, believe me, I promise,â He dropped on his knees, reaching for your hands with his own shaking ones. Tears began to trickle down his face as his breathing grew heavy.
A small part of you wanted to believe it, but you were struggling. Deep down, you were telling yourself that he was telling the truth. But that was a part of you you hadnât seen since Gojo was sealed. You survived this long without listening to it, so why start now?
âGojo⌠this is enough, let's get a divorce-â
âNO! NO! BABY PLEASE! Donât do this to me! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE, MORE THAN BREATHING, MORE THAN MYSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING! DONâT LEAVE ME-â
âGojo you were gone for years! I LIVED WITHOUT A HUSBAND FOR YEARS! And from what it looks like, you CLEARLY didnât feel my or Kaitoâs absence! It seems pretty obvious that youâve moved on-â
âBUT I HAVENâT! I HAVENâT! I GO TO BED HOLDING A PICTURE OF YOU CLOSE TO MY CHEST EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I HAVE NEVER TAKEN OFF YOUR RING SINCE THE DAY I GOT BACK AND FOUND YOU GONE!â He cried, showing you your ring, which laid on his finger. You would be lying if you said you didnât notice it, but you just assumed that was due to how expensive it was. It wouldâve been a waste to let it collect dust in a drawer.
âY/N, you and our baby boy are the only fucking reason I wake up every day. You two are the light of my life and when I lost you. I was so distraught I even started drinking and you know better than anyone how much I hate that shit, but itâs the only thing that takes my mind off of everything!â
You were now crying too, touched by what he was saying. You could see in his eyes that he meant every word and it shook you to your core.Â
You stayed anchored where you stood, sobbing now as Satoru got up off his knees and took you into his arms. Hugging you as tightly as he could without breaking your ribs.
You couldn't even move. You just stood there and cried with him, feeling the weight of everything that had transpired over the past couple of years wash away.
All that grief, suffering, and pain over the past few years was washing away in your tears.
You love him.
You had pushed down your feelings for him so deep that for a moment, you forgot they were even there. But you love him, and he you, and you knew that there was know way either of you could live without each other any longer.
You love him, and he loves you, and nothing was going to change that.Â
Not now, not ever.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8
The End...?
@porridgesblog , @giannitaa , @c0pkiller , @havens-not-here, @starlightanyaaa
Š gojos-fr-bae
#gojo satoru#gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo imagine#jujustu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#gojo angst#gojo fluff#gojou satoru x you#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk anime#Liar
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Upcoming Blog Thing
So I'm currently in the process of making a sideblog-for-a-sideblog for Reasons for Hope.
The idea is to use it to post mostly links/info on direct action (how to's, petitions, official government calls for comment on proposed policies, protests, info about cool things other activists are doing, etc. etc.) that doesn't fit on a good news blog. Plus informational/awareness posts, and my own activism and thoughts and takes about things that sometimes really, really do not belong on a good news blog. Or that half belong on a good news blog and half really don't, and the like.
The idea is also to create an official "format" for submissions so that people can send in posts without me having to take the time/spoons to make new posts out of ppl's asks and dms (this takes sooo much time sometimes). Then, if successful, do a similar thing for submissions on Reasons for Hope, bc I do want to make posts about lots of things ppl send me, but it would be way too much to do myself all the time.
I'd still be verifying everything and applying editorial standards, in both cases. I actually already wrote up most of an editorial standards policy for the new sideblog, too. It would include verifying and listing the sources and dates for everything, at a minimum.
I've been thinking about going ahead and doing this for quite a while now, but I finally decided I needed to go for it because uh. I just found out about something absolutely, completely fucked up that happened to my grandparents (and a lot of other people). And while I am planning to get involved in organizing about it in real life around the relevant issues (or at least flyer the shit out of relevant neighborhoods), I really need to be able to use what platform I have to talk about this - along with other issues - so I have somewhere to channel my rage and grief into activism
(You will hear more about what happened when the sideblog goes up, if you want to see know. For now, let's just say that it's been a really intense 48 hours.)
Also you know I actually have a small-to-moderate platform here and that's a hell of a lot more ability to reach people than I tend to have in person, esp with ~life~ and ~working~ and my disability shit
So yeah, heads up you have that to look forward to (if you want to engage). And there will be unique tags to filter for people who want to see the links to actions and organizing info without seeing the info about fucked up stuff.
Because I am firmly of the opinion that people can and should be able to engage with that kind of content only where and when they feel up for it, if they want, and especially if they're really struggling with spiraling over the state of things.
Anyway, let me know in the notes if there's anything you would particularly like to see from the upcoming sideblog. (I make no promises but would value information on this!) And if you have any thoughts on what I should call it because I haven't been able to figure out something satisfying yet.
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I never vent on public social medias but I really need all of this off my chest starting off with my and my best friend's art has been shit talked repetitivelyyyy her as a PERSON being shit talked simply over being my friend and "too defensive over her friends" and her ARTSTYLE HAVING TOO MANY "PRETTY PPL"??? is their ONLY gripes about her bc they have nothing to say about her actual character and it's miserable and cruel and they're a bully she's a goddammit REALISM artist she has to stare at that shit for HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, OFC SHE WANTS TO LOOK AT SOMETHING PRETTY. AND YK WHAT?? SHE STILL DRAWS FAT PPL AND PPL WITH BIG NOSES, ECT, DIVERSITY, SHE DOSENT EVEN HAVE SAME FACE SYNDROME OR ANYTHING SO IF YOUUU FIND THEM "TOO PRETTY" AND WANT TO DRAG HER FOR THAT?? THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM !! SHE'S BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU !! And sooo many insults have made their way back to me they've said about me too but I'm far more at my breaking point with the way my friends have been treated just for being my friends. I have seen screenshots from people I have tried being friends with, people who have even told me they veiw me like a sister shit talk my art along with them or even just half agree.
People TRYING to talk them, mutual friends TRYING to talk to them to work things out and they repetitively do not want to.
I don't fucking care about anybody chronically online argument i can already hear about how they should just keep on getting to behave this way and getting MULTIPLE people to participate in with it just bc they're under 18. When my best friend is too, literally peers. Teenagers. Who know what they're doing.
This type of behavior has made this last year in the camp camp fandom absolutely completely fun sucked dry.
And I have well earned this ONE crash out, this one post, because if I hear one argument I can already smell coming of oh maybe they've had a hard time recently and they took their emotions out on my friends,
Well my FATHER DIED, right after I ran away from home with my half sister who I just basically met, WHO THEN kicked me out and threatened to call the police on me if I didn't leave the exact way she wanted me to, having to leave my job and move back to the middle of nowhere, just for my other sister to take her side and I haven't spoken to since, my mother immediately gets remarried to a man who drinks and cheats on her and hits her and I have to be the one to physically pull them apart and call the police on him REPEATEDLY, oh and did I mention one of my last memories with my father was also?? Fighting him to the ground to protect my mother??? And I Don't get to see my two other sisters either bc they moved to California and I don't get to have a job soon bc the new one I got is only seasonal AND THAT'S ONLY BEEN THIS Y E A R. My depression is so bad other than 2 coms I have not drawn anything in over MONTHS, my teeth are rotting huge holes, I doom spiral mid day and have to keep working with a straight face, I have to struggle with thoughts of my mother dying just as spontaneously as my father, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ON DISCORD IN MONNTHHSS?? OR AROUND THESE PPL??? AND THEY'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME??
ALL THE WHILST, SPRINKLED IN, I GO ONLINE TO RELAX AND I GET TO HEAR THEY'VE YET AGAIN, SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.
And I don't say any of this to garner sympathy for my situation there's a reason i don't vent like this on this website I just want to paint the clearest picture that I have no slack to cut them from my POV, if I can keep a lid on all that while they get to wig out over anything and everything constantly. I'm over it. You don't get to tell my friend they're a shitty friend to you, so funny enough- only when they wanted to call you out for this. Only bringing up issues you have with them when it's time to deflect and AGAIN not letting them make peace when they're trying.
To all of you, have some maturity and speak out whatever issue you have with me TO ME. And you leave my friends alone because they again are so sweet and anxious kind people and it makes my blood boil having to listen to one cry and the other feel guilty over situations YOU made.
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Okay im sure people have done this before, but its time to mash together the hyperfixations, here's my take on stp Princesses x tma Fears
Title explains it ig, but i just got through the episode where gerry explains the fears to jon, so i dont feel too spoiled to reference the wiki, so here's the fears i think each of the slay the princess routes align with/are avatars of
(for the sake of post length and potential spoilers, pairings are under the cut. also ive color coded them for fun and bc its easier for me to read, i apologize if its straining, i can remove it)
Chapter 2 Princesses:
Damsel - The Stranger - She seems normal, until you dig deeper into who "she" is, and she devolves into a more and more uncanny version of herself until she gets yoinked
Prisoner - The Lonely - This one is weird, because the Princess is pretty resigned in her fate, regardless of what route you take. Having said that, I was torn between Buried and Lonely, but ultimately chose Lonely since Prisoner isn't exactly worried about being trapped (she's okay with both being decapitated and with waiting it out). She feels more Lonely, since her instance is self-inflicted, she had to kill Quiet so they could move on, which in turn trapped her even more than Chapter 1.
Witch - The Desolation - This one is more emotional than Desolation is usually thought of, but the Witch is convinced that after Quiet's actions in Chapter 1 his only intention is to break her down further. Additionally, she's fine with killing him regardless of what that means for her because then it will feel like revenge (unless you guilt trip her lol)
Beast - The Hunt - This one's easy, her entire goal is to eat Quiet lol
Adversary - The Slaughter - This one was also difficult, since many of the Fears are tied to "senseless" killing, and Adversary just wants a good fight. She's more of a mma fighter than a murderer, but her main motivation is still murder, though definitely in more of a human way than an animalistic way, so she went to Slaughter.
Tower - The Web - Her entire thing is manipulation, she doesn't even want to bloody her own hands if she can help it.
Razor - The Slaughter - Unlike Adversary, Razor does find joy in senseless killing, so she fits right in with Slaughter (I did also consider Hunt, but her goal isn't it work down the player, just to stab him) (also this is applied to "No Way Out" and "The Empty Cup" since they're just continuations of Razor and not their own Princesses)
Stranger - The Spiral - i know, it seems like she would go to the Stranger, but she actually knows exactly who she is, just not why. In Chapter 1, she acts more like fractions of herself, her world descending into madness. Her madness leads her to not know who she is, not the other way around (if it was that would lend closer to Stranger).
Spectre - The Lonely - Spectre is one of the least aggressive, and doesn't really align with many of the other fears, but her personal fear is being trapped again after getting so close to getting out.
Nightmare - The Lonely - Like Spectre, her entire motivation is centered in being left behind after being teased with being released, her pre-death monologue is an increasingly more desperate "Let me out," scared of being left behind again (though her outward motivation aligns more with Slaughter, with wanting to spread fear and terror for fun).
Chapter 3 Princesses:
Grey (Burned) - The Desolation - Both for the fire aspect, and the bodily destruction. Burned Grey doesn't really have much malice, but the only thing that she knows is to destroy to try to get what she wants
Grey (Drowned) - The Vast - Unfortunately there isn't really a Fear connected to revenge, so Vast works best with Drowned Grey since its connected to deep ocean. Ironically, it's one of the shallower connections, but Drowned Grey is made up of layers of frustration, betrayal, and anger, which is more like sadness than fear (although she is more unsettling than Burned Grey).
Thorn - The Buried - Thorn is also tricky, since at this point she's basically just tired, not scared or threatening. I've given her to Buried since she is physically trapped, and wants to get out but doesn't trust the Quiet to actually let her out because of their rocky past.
Wild - The Eye - Wild is really the only one that doesn't quite align with a Fear. I was going to assign her to Vast, since Shifty describes her as endless, but I settled on Eye since she is inherently non-aggressive, knows more because she's one with Quiet, and can locate the Narrator when the others aren't aware of him. I guess she also aligns with Slaughter since the only thing she expresses fear of is pain, but a few others get Slaughter, so I've given her to the Eye.
Den - The Hunt - Just like the Beast, but even more. She's only an animal at this point, and her only goal is to kill and eat.
The Eye of the Needle - The Slaughter - Like the Den, (and Razor, to a more direct extent), Needle is an expansion of Adversary, so her goal doesn't change, she's just more focused. This form fits Slaughter a bit more though, since there are some routes where she'll attack you outright.
Fury - The Desolation - Though Fury is also an extension of Adversary, she's more concerned with the means of death than the actual killing (I'm also not keeping her under Web, since she is now going for Quiet directly instead of trying to manipulate him). She doesn't just want to kill Quiet, she wants it to hurt.
Apotheosis - The Web - Unlike Fury, Apotheosis gets to keep Web since she isn't concerned about killing Quiet, but she does now have infinite power. Also potentially The Vast, but that's purely because of her physical size.
Wraith - The Web - While Adversary has the emotional manipulation, Wraith has the physical manipulation. (I also considered The End because I hadn't assigned any Princesses to The End, but this was purely because she's a skeleton, so if you want a Princess a Fear, feel free to associate her with The End).
The Moment of Clarity - The Lonely - Like her prior counterparts, Clarity just craves companionship so inherently that her fear leads her to violence.
Well, that's all of them! To anyone that read through this, thanks! Might end up doing this with the Voices as well, though they would likely end up just aligning with whatever Fear is assigned to the Princess that causes them.
Of the Princesses (to me), none align with The Corruption (though the devs did say that the Stranger started as a bug princess, so i guess she's Corruption in spirit), The Dark, The End, or The Flesh.
#slay the princess#slay the princess princess#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus archives fears#slay the princess x the magnus archives#just gonna call this hyperfixation âjohnny simsâ#so thanks for this mr sims#and abby and tony too
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Saw this post and it really sent me down a spiral:
And even if it was fresh air,
that debate has me reeling bc:
Amren suggested first that they should get out of the house (itâs true that it was for selfish or rather bigger reasons but she was THE FIRST to suggest that) [âif you want to start convincing your sisters (to help with patching up the wall) get them out of the house; being cooped up never helped anyoneâ - while in Amrenâs apartament on the first day back in Velaris]
Then Cassian (Feyre: âWould you use her to see if she somehow can take down the wall? (About Nesta) Cassian: âYes. Not only for our sakes but, she needs to get out of the houseâŚshe needs toâŚsheâll destroy herself if she stays cooped up in there.â - while carrying Feyre from Amrenâs apartment after talking about the Book of Breathings, before the first dinner back in Velaris) (although I understand why this might not necessarily be taken into account, bc he mentioned only Nesta, for obvious reasons, but we could interpretâŚ)
Then Lucien (âShe needs fresh air. Take her to the sea, take her to some garden but get her out of this house for an hour.â - after their interaction in the library of the HoW)
Then Azriel (âWould you like me to show you the garden?â - upon moving Elain to the Townhouse)
So, if we want to give someone points for coming up with the idea for the sisters to get out of the house, it should be Amren. (People will probably not do this because her reason wasnât selfless.)
If we want to refer to only Elain AND a selfless suggestion weâre looking at Lucien and Azriel.
If we want to think about who suggested it first and maybe persuaded Feyreâs decision it was Lucien or rather Feyre seeing through his eyes.
If we want to address who mentioned the garden first, as it is Elainâs domain, it was Lucien.
HOWEVER, (and I say this without actually hating any of the involved characters, in this case Lucien) Lucien firstly suggested the sea, then the garden. ALSO, he was actually told about Elainâs passion for gardening (while hiding in a cave in Winter court with Feyre).
Azriel mentioned this without anyone telling him the fact + he is the only one who actually asked Elain and not suggested to Feyre to make the decision.
I didnât mean for this to turn into another point to Azriel, I actually wanted to say that in terms of this debate I would rather not even consider it at this point.
But now, I am again inclined to be team Azriel because it is very interesting that the two situations are juxtaposed immediately (as soon as Lucien heads out of the library Feyre asks Rhys for Cassian or Azriel to help with the move) and we are seeing for the first time how one addresses Elain in third person, while the addresses her directly.
- Again, these are my thoughts, I actually started this post convinced I am not even going to care anymore about the âgetting out of the houseâ debate.
- I do not think Lucien suggesting that is bad, not at all, I am just saying that in comparison, he just used the information he had as opposed to making an assessment. I genuinely donât want to âdeduct any pointsâ or something.
Also, these were some of my thoughts prior to being prompted for this post right here, and I have been accused that what I said was not factually correct ( it just so happens that I had some other unspoken theories about her leaving the room earlier than I mentioned in that post ).
Ok bye!!!
#elain deserves all the fresh air and gardens in bloom#iâm afraid to even tag Lucien because I will probably be followed home#elain acotar#would you like me to show you the garden#pro elain#acowar#elain archeron#azriel#garden
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Was browsing through early BOBF/Mando S3 criticisms on Tumblr and WOW, 93% of S2âs viewership dropped when S3 finished airing for an extremely understandable reason. As someone who got into Dinluke after all the dust settled I can only imagine what it was like becoming invested in Dinâs story and being floored by the S2 finale only for it to get totally swerve-balled after a long-anticipated wait. How did you avoid the disappointment and burnout?
Spite is an incredibly powerful motivator, let me tell you.
I'm halfway joking about that, btw. I could say I'm used to disappointment and I also worked really hard not to take things too personally after being disappointed time and again year after year by fandoms I was in. Imo the healthiest attitude is that no show/movie/book/videogames/etc will ever play out the way you want/think it should so take what you can get and trash the rest. By the time I started watching The Mandalorian, I'd been burnt badly by Star Trek AOS, the Sequel Trilogy, the MCU, and the Disney machine, and I had to figure out how to accept that I like what I like, I can't change what I can't change, and I can/will run the fuck off with what I can change, which is making wildly fun and fulfilling transformative shit like fanfics and fanart.
I was actually excited about TBOBF and was utterly betrayed by the executive decision to throw him and Fennec to the side in order to absolutely trash the Season 2 finale of the Mando Show by having Din and Grogu reunite just like that. I guess I got lucky in that I had a long-running fic series that I was heavily invested in and I was not about to let Disney stop me from finishing it. Instead of letting my frustrations kill my interest in the show and fandom, I turned it into motivation to keep telling the story I wanted to tell based on the fallout of Season 2. It also helped that Andor happened.
I quit Season 3 of the Mando Show after the 1st episode and it was the best decision I ever made. I had a really rough time with it and was encouraged to step away if it was giving me too much stress. I'm glad for that. Less time and energy picking about Filoni&Favreau and Disney Lucasfilm's decisions and disappointments, more time and energy spent writing and drawing the dinluke I want to see. The nice thing about Star Wars is that it is an old and vast sandbox. Plenty of room here to build whatever sandcastles and dig however many holes you want while canon goes floundering by.
I think also that it really helped to find spaces to share with people who vibe on the same wavelength, so I'm not alone to my thoughts and spiraling myself out of a fandom I enjoyed (like what happened with TLJ but I shan't go there bc this response is long enough). Those posts about having friends you can shit-talk things with? Valid af. You need outlets to vent your grievances without setting bridges on fire, and it'll help your enjoyment of things in the long run.
I didn't avoid the disappointment but I figured out how to make something of it, so I'm still writing dinluke, I'm still drawing dinluke, I'm still getting giddy over dinluke. I actively choose to do what I want with them, and nothing Disney Lucasfilm puts out is ever going to stop me.
#shirozora awkwardly responds to asks#dinluke#the mandalorian#star wars#tbobf#fandom things#realized I still have a lot of thoughts about TBOBF and Mando S3 while answering the ask#i should post them at some point#but really I can be a really spiteful person who uses rage to fuel certain ideas#if i see a story I don't like for a thing that I like I will rewrite things and I will create things to get over that rage#it's like that quote in frankenstein#it's like. i like this thing so much and i expect better from it so if it won't reach there then i'll write/draw it myself#the burnout will get to me eventually if the hyperfixation doesn't get to me first#but for now i am really enjoying the ride and i remain heavily invested in the story i'm telling with Dangerous Dreams#sometimes you just gotta find the one thing in the fandom you really like and stick with it to the end of the line
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got tagged by @goodpointsandbadpoints and @silvercap so here we go :3
When did you start writing?
really depends on the definition of writing, but i've been writing stories in notebooks from the moment i actually learned to write. the first one i remember was about a friend group of dogs going on adventures lol. it was nine notebooks long and my poor teacher was too nice to say no so he had to read it all.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
I enjoy historical fiction but I don't have the patience for the research it'd require so I won't write it. uhm. idk I read various genres but I basically only write fluffy fic so :'D i do have a fantasy project in finnish but i haven't touched it in years, so idk if it counts.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
no. I love reading different styles, and I've learned a lot from just reading authors who have very different ways of saying what they want to say. but I don't want to emulate any of them. I will do what feels organic to me.
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
usually on my couch in front of the tv with the laptop on my lap lol. I don't really write by hand or on my phone unless it's a random idea I need to jot down quick and I'm not on my laptop then. the tv is always on, i need the background noise.
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
lmao well that is the million dollar question, isn't it. usually going for a walk with the dog or on a longer car ride alone helps, it forces me to spin things in my brain bc there's nothing else to do. (but it can also backfire and I spiral into never wanting to write again lol) inspiration strikes at very random moments tbh. i haven't yet found much rhyme or reason in that.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
at the core, it's always about love and acceptance, learning to receive it, or craving it and not getting it. self-worth. loneliness. finding your support system. idk in general I am happy with my life but I do get lonely often and it shows, because if I can't get a good cuddle from someone who loves me then damnit the character i'm writing about sure as hell will get it! :'D
What is your reason for writing?
there are stories inside of me that need a way out.
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
uhm. I want them to feel the feelings i'm trying to get across with my words. connect with the characters. and enjoy the story I want to tell.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
characterization and dialogue. soft moments where people connect. pacing, usually. hm.
How do you feel about your own writing?
i don't care how selfish this sounds lmao they're the stories i want to read and i love them. simple as that. i give me exactly what i want :'D
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?
so this is my biggest weakness when it comes to writing because i can not write only for myself. i can't be a "desk drawer writer" (like the saying goes in finnish lol). that is precisely why I haven't made any progress with my fantasy trilogy (lol) in finnish in years and years, because no one i know wants to read it (fantasy is not their genre, no shade to them). i need an audience, even if it's just one person! but at the same time i am not willing to budge on what i think makes a good story lol. so in a way i do write what makes me happy but to find the motivation to finish things i'd also need to find someone who gives a crap.
but anyway.
not tagging anyone, do it if you feel like it and say i tagged you! ;)
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Ok, finally watched Deadpool and Wolverine. Thoughts:
spoilers ahead
Things I liked:
-Cavillrine. Wade should've name dropped "those shitfucks down the street" as warner bros execs specifically but I know it wasn't viable. Henry you're my true superman (and Geralt) forever.
-Hugh Jackman, obviously. He always puts his everything into this character and it's beautiful.
-Backstreet boys' Bye bye bye in the beginning (cheeky nod to Wade swinging both ways? Or all the ways actually)
-Soundtrack in general. I have the impression that they tried to use songs that were popular at the time the fox films they referenced were released and that was sweet. Pure nostalgia.
-Is it just me or the fights between Logan and Wade felt a lot bit homoerotic at times? Especially the car fight. Not just the coreography but like.. the camera slowly panning away while showing the car shaking up and down as the daylight fades? Like, damn. okay. I see what you did there..
That and the other little moments where they weren't fighting but were in close proximity/contact with each other bc reasons. Good job u guys. 10/10 đđź
-X23. I'd really like to see her back as the main timeline x23 but i don't trust Disney to not fuck this up.
-All the cameos really. Channing Tatum was avenged too by finally being able to play gambit which is good tho I wish he had the black and red eyes from the cartoons that would've been cool. But yeah he was really funny. (My fancast for main timeline Gambit is still Josh Hartnett tho, that being said Channing was still a good Remy)
-Cassandra was a nice surprise, I didn't know that character or the actress and she made a surprisingly fun creepy villain.
Things I didn't like or threw me off bc im too much of a nerd to not notice:
-Vanessa being fridged without actually being fridged. She was in this movie even less than in the movie where she got killed?Someone really "didn't want to share the spotlight" this time lol
-No but seriously, the reason they broke up wasn't clear/didn't make much sense to me, although I have to praise the acting. I think they just wanted an excuse to make Wade spiral again but they don't know what to do with a no-powers character in a superhero movie unless they're a male comic relief?
-The staples on the head gag. It was funny at first but. regenerative powers. His body should have pushed them out at most a couple seconds after, like it does with bullets. They could still have made a joke out of it.
-And I actually only realized this after watching the film but shouldn't Wolverine also not be able to get drunk bc of his powers? In Deadpool's game Wade can't get drunk bc of exactly bc of that and in Catfa Steve can't get drunk while mourning Bucky for the same reason. And I'm pretty sure his regenerative powers are pretty mild compared to Logan and Wade's.
-They missed a chance to throw in a zip it Mr Darcy. or Tom. Both would've worked. Personally I'm partial to Mr Darcy cause I'm a 2005 p&p stan and I haven't watched Succession yet but yk either would've been good.
-A lil peck between Yukio and Negasonic would've been nice đĽş
-Things I wished would've happened even though most of it can't bc Disney, but a girl can still daydream dammit:Â
-Gwenpool
-T-rex-pool
-Mention of Logan being poly with Jean and Scott (it's my hc regardless)
-Pyro having had a enemies to enemies who fuck thing with Iceman at an earlier point in time (also my hc regardless)
-Mention of how ooc and creepy and completely nonsensical cap's "ending" was.
-Mention of Stucky
-The tva actually being evil
-Domino. I miss her. Actually all the X-Force members that were missing except for the vanisher for obvious reasons. Fuck that guy. My hc is that Wade saved all of them anyway. Except for, again, the vanisher.
-The timelines get fixed to keep existing when their franchises die. They keep on going we just don't see them anymore. I think implying that they die when hollywood doesn't make movies about them/they are not canon anymore is dismissive of fanworks. The multiverse should be infinite and all the stories imagined about a character whether it's "canon" or not exist somewhere no matter how terrible or ridiculous or wonderful it is. We just so happen to get to see only a handful of them in live action.
-Karl Urban as an alternate Wolverine (he's my fancast for the main timeline logan).
-The fact that if Ben Affleck got a subtle jab, Brad Pitt should've gotten 2. Non subtle ones. At all. Idk about you but I think physical abuse is a liiil worse than cheating. Just saying.
-Vanessa having powers. Hear me out: I know that her powers in the comics are basically the same as Mystique's (she's even blue too) BUT they could've made her be like that chick from Heroes that could do anything she saw other people do just by watching them. I would've been different enough from Mystique AND it would've still made sense with her superhero name being Copycat.
-Vanessa and Wade being polyamorous too
Conclusion: I think I might prefer deadpool 2 a juust a tad bit but I still really liked this one :) . It's definitely much better than anything mcu has being releasing lately
Ps: Johnny sweetie ilysm but you're a fucking idiot
Ps²: Wade sweetie ilysm but you absolutely were responsible for it, you didn't have to quote him on that.
PsÂł: RIP nicepool I'm sure you were good papa to dogpool no matter how jealous prime deadpool was. Also I loved The Proposal.
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#spoilers#deadpool 3 spoilers#deadpool and wolverine spoilers#deadpool 2#deadpool 2 spoilers
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