#the one you pulled out from under me

[bending-sickle]

me: *halfway through an embroidery project on black cloth*

my mother: you know, i have black cloth stowed away

well whoop-dee-doo, what am i supposed to do, start over?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

All he knows is flirt with men and lie.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[dukeofthomas]

why does every reconciliation fic go like this

[wantonlywindswept]

Definitely True Facts About Commander Vertex #3

He has negative Force bacteria.

[forgotten Fox AU tag]

"Midichlorians," Patches said, for the third time, his head in his hands. "They're called midichlorians."

"Tiny little buggers that live in your body," Jek scoffed. "I might have barely scraped by my biology modules, but that sounds like bacteria to me."

Patches whimpered.

Jek grinned and reached over to pat his babiest of brothers on the head. Their youngest medic really was too easy to rile up. 

Still, at least Patches was capable of taking a break on occasion, even if it was just to sit at Jek's bedside in the medbay while he recovered from a round of Force cleansing. He always felt a little like the mess hall slop after every session, squishy and mostly-liquid, though the effects had been lessening as the treatments went on. 

Turned out that working in close proximity to an evil Sith overlord for an extended period of time could be 'damaging' and 'harmful to the spirit', and as soon as the Jedi got the okay from Marshal Commander Thorn they'd instituted regular healing sessions for the Guard. Some of them weren't overly affected--the ARF division hadn't been allowed in the Senate Dome that often anyway, and the medics rarely left the infirmary, much less Guard HQ--but the majority of them were on rotating schedules to get their minds checked for Sith residue or whatever.

It was even worse for the Force-sensitives.

No one was more surprised to find Force-sensitive clones than the clones themselves, and a frankly unsettling percentage of the Guard tested for above-average midichlorian counts. That was just those who agreed to submit to the assessment, too--a lot of the Guard refused to do even that. It wasn't like they could be Jedi, and with the war over, what did it even matter?

(Except it did matter, a lot, because apparently evil Sith overlords could also drain the life force from sentients around them, and particularly enjoyed ones with the Force. Palpatine got a little tasty burst of power like they were some kind of energy snack, and it wasn't like the Guard weren't already exhausted anyway.

That kind of siphoning left even worse traces of Sith influence; Jek's cleansing sessions made his bones feel like wobbly gelatin, but Glitch's sessions hurt.)

"I bet Defib's m-count is the highest in the Guard," Jek mused absently as he watched their CMO stalk around the medbay between the beds--and the Jedi--with a scowl on his face. 

Patches lifted his head to give Jek a horrified look.

"Don't say that where he can hear you."

Jek, who lacked both bones and a sense of self-preservation, merely shrugged. Defib had refused testing, scoffing that he didn't need the Force to heal, but he wasn't named after a defibrillator for nothing: he'd brought more than one brother back from the brink of death against impossible odds.

Jek had his suspicions about Patches, too. 

Even with Defib hovering suspiciously over their shoulders, the Jedi healers--there were four of them, led by Master Rig Nema--moved around the medbay with an almost unearthly poise. Jek was more familiar with ordered chaos in the infirmary: medics shouting across the room to each other, rushing back and forth to see how far their meager supplies could stretch. The Jedi were quiet, coordinating with each other soundlessly while still seeming to be aware of everything else happening in the room.

The mesmerizing little dance wasn't even interrupted by the main doors opening, which drew Jek's attention to Commander Vertex stepping into the medbay. The commander had his bucket tucked under one arm, and sharp eyes surveyed the room in a quick glance.

Patches waved at Vertex, because he was adorable. 

Vertex waved back, because he was a sap.

Defib immediately veered off his self-appointed task of looming to intercept Vertex before he got too far into the room. They ducked their heads together in a brief conversation with far too much angry gesticulating on Defib's part, and the calm competency Jek had come to expect on Vertex's. Jek watched, fascinated, as Vertex managed to settle the fuming medic with just a few words and a gentle touch to his shoulder. 

Defib made a bitchy face, but he did seem to lose some of his protective bristling; at Vertex's nudge he sidled over to his desk in the corner of the medbay, dropping into his chair to finally take a break and...to angrily chew on a ration bar?

Incredible.

The Jedi, meanwhile, had continued on with their Force nonsense, which lasted up until Vertex tapped one of the healers on the shoulder and their serenity shattered with a resounding squawk.

The poor Rodian who made the noise spun around, flailing wildly, and would have fallen back onto one of the beds if Vertex hadn't grabbed her to keep her upright. The other three Jedi's heads snapped up in eerie synchronicity, startled expressions on their faces, and Master Nema took a jolting step forward before seeming to register what had happened.

In the frozen stillness that followed, Defib's sullen crunching took on a distinctive note of glee.

"Apologies," Vertex said. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"When did you even..." 

"How can we be of assistance, Commander Vertex?" Master Nema asked, stepping away from her patient to take the place of the still-baffled apprentice healer. Both she and Vertex smoothly ignored the disbelief radiating off the other Jedi, who were looking at Vertex like they didn't know how he had appeared. 

Jek wondered that sometimes, too, but it didn't bother him.

"Hey," he said, nudging Patches with his elbow as the two bigwigs conversed, "What do you bet that Commander Vertex has negative Force bacteria?"

Patches stared at Jek like he'd kicked a baby massiff, and then slowly sunk lower in his chair with a low, despairing whine.

So easy.

[aloeverified]

daring being the equivalent to a pg-13 fuckboy was really funny, but i think it would've been so sad and compelling if he geniuely was in love with apple.

they know they're destined to be together, they grew up together and have talked about their relationship many times. they agreed to not date until their destiny takes its course, as apple is paranoid about messing with their story and doing anything ahead of time.

daring sees how hard she works and how far she goes to strive for perfection; following ever task her mother gives her, always being ontop of her studies, never missing a chance to be kind and help others. she inspires him to do the same; topping his sword-fighting classes, using his strength and athletic skills to help others, always seizing the chance to save the day and protect others.

daring falls more and more in love with her each passing year, whereas apple just keeps waiting for the feeling to come to her. she reasons that she doesn't feel anything for daring because he hasn't awoken her from her coma and swallow her worries.

many people still fall for daring, but he tells them his heart is taken and his destiny is sealed: apple white is the only girl for him, and it's his duty to stay loyal to his future wife.

perhaps apple even visits the charming kingdom often, under the guise of spending time with her future in-laws to get away from the heavy pressure she faces at home. she grows closer with darling during these times, who admires apple and her ability to be satisfied with the royal life and expectations she has as a princess.

i think daring could still have a few small and tender moments with other girls, such as his admiration for cerise — but he does his best to push those feelings aside, maybe even feels guilty for them.

it's only after he fails to awaken apple in dragon games, where he is able to start his process on moving on. he agonizes over not being her prince, as it changes everything he knows: his destiny, his true love, and even the fact that he would participate in an out of destiny romance (something so taboo to a royal such as himself).

when finally given the chance to do so, daring asks apple if she loves him — if she ever had or ever could, in the same way he loves her. they have a long conversation, one that ends with both of them in tears. apple does daring, but she's not in love with him. she's always known there was something different about her when she didn't long for her prince charming like other princesses did, and now thanks to darling, she knows why.

daring learns how to move on. it's a tedious process, and one that hurts, but he moves on. and so does apple. he still loves her, and she still loves him. only now, they also love themselves.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Hey girl! Do you happen to have an Ao3 account? I love reading your fics but tumblr doesn’t alway load offline. Just wondering! Thanks! :)

AO3: TheSarcasticKnight

I know what you're thinking.

"JJ, how are you gonna log in on a random Sunday morning after not being on Tumblr in literal months and then casually answer a question about your AO3 username like it's nothing??"

I'm unhinged. That's why. And also I finally made the effort to recreate my password so I could successfully log in b/c I totally forgot it and then was lazy for literal weeks anyways

Sorry I haven't been on. Tumblr is a whole new landscape I don't even recognize and from the looks of it I've missed some drama, but it's fine I'm here. I answered a few direct messages left for me, and if you sent me an ask in the last 6 months (or however long it's been time is an illusion) just know that I read through all of them just now and I love you too 🥰 It means so much to me to know that people were thinking of me. It just warms my little heart.

Admittedly, the chances of me updating some of the stuff on here is slim to none just b/c I'm still super busy with my day job and other projects so I do apologize for that 🫣 I may go back and read some of my old work. That does the trick sometimes. I'll read what I forgot about, get super into it, and then get super pissed when I reach the end and realize it hasn't been updated (despite being the author who hasn't updated it) and then somehow I have enough juice to get something (that exact scenario actually just happened on AO3 with an older series of mine).

Anyways, I'm done rambling. Just know that I love you. I know the world is crazy and life is hard and it's exhausting to keep pushing through the same battles again and again, but you are an incredible soul and you are so strong and you are not alone. 🩵

[everypanelofizuku]

Chapter 96 - Home Visits

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[hanzajesthanza]

~a vampire at dawn~

excuse the quick sketch, for this post is less about the art and more about the idea behind it... i have this headcanon from when geralt's company was trekking with the beekeepers through the wilderness:

although they were initially very grateful to have three meals a day prepared for them, they quickly got sick of having honeyed porridge served for all three of them. "Everything was sticky from the honey, even the young women." milva began to get nauseous at mealtimes, and cahir, usually ravenous at mealtimes as befits a strapping young lad such as he, even turned down a few bowls.

regis, however, was quite happy with it.

because, as is mentioned later in the book, about saovine traditions: "The spirits of the dead (...) should be given honey and groats, all sprinkled with vodka…" i imagine some confusing night where he went into a villager's hut to drink blood, but, it was around saovine, so they were even expecting someone like him to arrive and to even be looking for such a thing. prepared for such a situation, they handed him some kasza with honey. he didn't really know what to do with it, but they instructed him on how to eat... it was surprisingly pretty good, so he started pulling this on all the other villages, like hey i;m "undead" (whatever that means) do you have any "porridge" with "honey." yeah also put a little vodka on it while you're at it.

so honeyed groats turned out to be the first human food he ate, and over time, became like a comfort food to him. now he has it without the vodka though

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[sysig]

Sweet dreams, for a time (Patreon)

[myrmica]

infinity mechanism/worst breakup in minecraft roleplay history.mp4

[steevejr]

30 year old birthday pros:

-hang out wit friends

-watch hotel Transylvania 2 : the fetish film

-play video games and get snacks

- 6ish months on t and pass to cops

Cons;

- first car accident

-my car hates me and is ruined forever

Pros:

-car got to bite another car ? that’s enrichment maybe?/

-driver was a former Kia soul driver which reaffirms my theory that only kia souls can damage another Kia soul

[tinyetoile]

more character designs for my cluck AU

Heroblight Ganon and Cucco Zelda. 

I want to make clear that Link’s spirit has been evicted from his body, and that’s Ganondorf’s consciousness that has taken residence within it, so the character technically isn’t an evil Link.

Ganondorf doesn’t actually like being in Link’s body very much. He misses being tall, and buff, and not constantly hungry. Zelda takes offense to this, because at least he’s not poultry, thank you very much.

About Link’s injuries: While fleeing from the rampaging Guardians 100 years ago, Link tried to block a laser blast with his shield, and while his reflexes saved his life, his left arm was still severed, and the flaming debris from his exploded shield burned his face and ear. The Sheikah managed to recover the arm and put it in the Shrine of resurrection with him, which reattached it, but while it’s still useable there isn’t much feeling in it, and his left eye is blind (Ganondorf compensates for this with the Malice Eye in the helmet). The malice on his face covers the burn scars and clouded eye.

[crossbackpoke-check]

I just need you to know I was reading your tags on the Sillinger/Fantilli Deadpool/Wolverine gifset going "YES THE EYE CONTACT! AND COLE'S WHOLE FACE JOURNEY! AND *OH MY GOD* ADAM'S HAND ALMOST BUT NOT GRIPPING AT COLE'S BICEP" like that near grip Adam took had me fainting like a fucking Victorian era man who saw a woman's bare ankles like W.H.A.T.

I neeeeed to write them omg.

ANON. ANON!!!! please. write them!!!!! and send me a link if/when you do ���� i’ll prepare my fainting couch (the floor)

[konshokoentaiko]

i always thought i was a very typical enemies to lovers girlie but i think i just realized my actual taste in ships is the dynamic where the two are supposedly equal rivals/enemies who represent diametrically opposed themes (for the Aesthetic), but in actuality it’s just one of them yanking the other around on a chain while the other whines and rages and protests and ultimately makes an absolute spectacle of themselves

so uhhh. how did THAT happen and when and why