#the most useless
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Instead of giving the starving kids in gaza food, The UN is giving them toys that look like food. The lowest of the low.
Photo taken by Muhammed Smiry in gaza.
#disgusting. what is the point of this???#the kids are surrounded by death and blood amd terror unable to eat unable to drink unable to go to the bathroom#and you give them plastic food to play with?#this is the UN!!!!#the most useless#palestine#gaza#israel#important#current events#free palestine#ethnic cleansing#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza under attack#gaza under genocide#israel is an apartheid state#israel is a terrorist state#israel is terrorist#save the children#UN#america#usa
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Can you imagine that the country that’s bombing you, is making you PAY for your aid. Like how much more fucked up can the US get? They drop bombs on innocent civilians, only to give them horrible, gross, unsustainable meals. They gave them gum. GUM. Gum is literally NOT MEANT TO BE DIGESTED! Is this some sort of sick joke? They have enough money to give Israhell 8 billion dollars, but they don’t have enough resources to give the Palestinians proper aid.
Better yet, they should just stop vetoing the permanent ceasefire. They can stop it anytime they want, they simply choose not to. Unforgivable.
#yemen#jerusalem#tel aviv#current events#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#news on gaza#palestine news#this is disgusting#from the river to the sea 🇵🇸#israel are the real terrorists#israhell#stop israel#israel is committing genocide#the most useless#the US could stop this anytime they want#israel is a terrorist state#israel palestine conflict#this is fucked up#israel#justice for palestinians#i stand with palestine#help gaza
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A reasonable one
#when you find out you have the most useless skill in the world#your first course of action should always be to prank your man with it#art#comic#ask#du drow#astarion
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gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that
#bloodweave#astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work#but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked#tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like#first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful#and I rushed to find the most useless object I could#thank you Komira you’re a real one#also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times#also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet
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places one last offering upon the itfs make it out alive altar bc if they die /i'll/ kill them
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#itafushi#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#i would have rendered this but i was running around doing errands most of the afternoon#n i dont want to burn out before pages drop gsjsdjghjhdjk#whatever happens tonight i Will be there for it and i Will be drawing#i believe in itfs kaisen#i believe they can make it out i believe in no last minute trickery#>:1#anyway i love forward!yuuji and megumi not perceiving a word that is being said to him bc he is a useless homosexual#his eyes r up there megumi jesus
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so, one aspect of catelyn which i think is underrated (certainly the biggest adaptation loss which nobody talks about) is her, let's say superstitiousness, or better yet, let's call it genre-savviness, being one of the few adult characters open to magic and the supernatural in this fantasy world. we first meet her in the godswood, home of gods which are not truly hers, yet she is still very aware of their power. when she and ned talk of the deserter he killed, he hopes he won't have to go with the nw to deal with mance rayder, but she has even more fear of that idea bc there are worse things beyond the wall than just wildlings. ned scoffs and says she's been listening to old nan too much, but she's right. we already know from the prologue that she's right! and here she is, understanding the genre of their world better than her husband, who was actually born and spent his earliest years in this northern land of deep magic, listening to old nan's stories. same with the direwolves, where she was uncomfortable with them at first, but later believed in them as guardians from the old gods even after robb had lost his own faith. and once again, we know she's right even if she doesn't know the evidence to back up her instincts, bc summer and shaggydog did not fail bran and rickon and robb was almost certainly a warg like his brothers. (perhaps making it more fitting that she's the one brought back as a fantasy vengeance monster, not ned and robb, the most unbelieving dead starks.) and in her 2nd agot chapter, everyone focuses on her ambition in wanting ned to agree to the hand job (pun intended) and sansa's betrothal, and while she does recognize the value of their daughter being a future queen more than ned does, that's only her stated argument bc she thinks it's rational enough for ned to listen to. (if ambitious matchmaking were as important to her as to her father she never would have made those frey betrothals fandom loves to blame her for.) in her own head there's a deeper urge driving her. she keeps thinking of the dead direwolf with antlers in its throat, an omen which filled her with dread from the first she heard of it, before robert's arrival, and thinking of it again is what makes her desperate to convince ned not to refuse robert. she had to make him see. and really, she's not wrong, as jon snow would say. the dead direwolf was an omen of ned and robert getting each other killed. it's just one of those misread portents, with no way of knowing the danger to ned was in his loyalty to robert, not conflict with him. BUT the next time she's dealing with baratheons, she knows exactly what she's talking about. it's catelyn, not brienne, who sees the shadow slaying renly, and explains that it was stannis who did that through some dark magic. with no way of knowing how it was achieved and no prior expectation that such a thing were ever possible, she realizes with no hestitation that stannis was guilty and that his red witch was capable of pulling this off somehow. really, the only instinct of the supernatural she's wholly wrong about is her insistence that varys gathered his knowledge through some dark enchantment. however, though that might offend varys, given his own personal experience with a sorcerer, i'd say it's a reasonable assumption without knowing the dude had children moving through walls everywhere like oversized rodents. and imo it just shows she had a healthy respect and awe for varys's power which most other characters lack.
oh, oh, and let's not forget that she also believed in the curse of harrenhal, from her own childhood and the stories old nan told her kids. "and every house that held Harrenhal since had come to misfortune. Strong it might be, but it was a dark place, and cursed. 'I would not have Robb fight a battle in the shadow of that keep,' Catelyn admitted." sure, that wasn't enough to save robb, but he did not die from the curse of harrenhal. that doom was meant for his enemies from tywin lannister to roose bolton.
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#catelyn stark#catelyn tully#this why i can't w talking abt how much better the northerners are for their supernatural setting#when w the exception of the crannogmen most of them understand their setting less than their southron 7-following lady of wf#people of the riverlands can follow useless gods and still not lose their belief in magic#and people who think it would have been cooler if robbwind or even ned took lsh's place are not just missing the point bc grrm#focused on catelyn as pov for a reason but bc thematically all the gods knew who was actually open to their power#everyone else was only interested in that stupid outline for starkcest shipping but i was most intrigued by cat going beyond the wall#happy tully tuesday!#(c)lsb
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he could not control the class 😔
#tossing my hat into the trend ring#a little sumn in between pieces#got possessed by the silly for a moment#we love an unhealthy codependent sibling relationship#join me on my delusion of every behavior or habit Ludwig has has been ingrained and propagated into him at early childhood by Gilbert#I imagine Ludwig going thru one of his many social interaction debacles and thinking ‘quick Ludwig - what would brother do?!’#and Gil shows up in his head like the laissez faire voice of authority like#burn their fields and salt their crops 👍 [fades away]#do you understand me?#kinda like when mob thinks of Reigen during social anxieties but he comes up with the most useless advice in his head#Gil’s little puppy <3#hetalia#hetalia fanart#hws germany#hws prussia#aph germany#aph prussia#german bros#digital art#my art#drawing meme#Ludwig waiting for his daily chin scratch for being an agreeable young lad 🥺#on second thought maybe I should’ve done this in more historical clothing#like young Lud being put in charge of his first meeting as like training and doing horribly 😭#general Gil is not satisfied with his performance#do you guys think Gil is a boy mom#discuss
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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game
Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.
Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.
The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.
And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).
And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.
Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.
(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).
After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.
#DPxDC#Kizzer55555 ideas#Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges#And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of#Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.
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plotholes in season 4 i really don't understand now i've digested the season please feel free to explain or add your own:
- sparrow academy and especially sloane just being forgotten, luther just seeming to magically get over his wife disappearing and not fighting in any way shape or form to find her or get back to a timeline with her in it - especially as they show discovery of the phoenix academy you think five would mention that a timeline with sloane must exist out there - ben being teased on the subway train at the end of season 3 but just??? never showing up??? was that an alternative timeline? - allison doing everything last season motivated by the idea of being able to get to claire and ray only for ray to apparently leave her with zero elaboration as to why or what happened - making fatphobic jokes towards diego but actually he takes his shirt off and is still ripped as fuck? - upon regaining their powers luther getting his ape body back which??? literally had nothing to do with his marigold related powers it was because of an accident on a previous timeline? - lila getting laser beam eye powers seemingly from nowhere, but it's not as if this was ever addressed because she could still mimic powers (see: her using five's time travel ability) - very limited use of powers, there were a few cool moments in episode 2 but ultimately it felt like there was no need to even get them back as they rarely showcased them (with the exception of five's getting them stuck) - klaus throwing his marigold onto a passing man but this never getting any exploration - never explaining why jennifer was in a giant squid - never explaining why jennifer got locked up in a safe - ben apparently never discussing with klaus how he died??? - ben and jennifer not realising that the entire motel had blown up around them including murdering flocks of birds and staff when they checked out? - entire five/lila plotline but also five figuring out how to leave and not saying anything when he has always been the first to want to get back and protect his family - lila apparently hating bracelets despite the fact that diego making lila a bracelet and it keeping them linked was such a big plotpoint it was used as a teaser in previous seasons (and the bead bracelet just disappearing) - lila being so intent on saving her family and the kids by sending them to the subway and on an alternative timeline but only one 'true' timeline can survive anyway which would erase the subway - the kids existing when the parents that created them don't - the entire show being for nothing in that the umbrellas do not even exist anymore
#tua spoilers#the umbrella academy#i've had some time to digest and here are my main confusions#maybe i've just overlooked some things!#but i cba to go back and watch if i'm honest#the thing is i get we only had six episodes#but most of these i feel don't come down to it being rushed??#just bad writing#there was so much filler plot and useless plotlines#but no answering of actual questions#very confused and disappointed
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OH MY GOD WAIT I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE. ok so. you know how magicam is the twst version of instagram. i dreamt about the twst version of tinder.
it's called cinder (like cinderella) and its tagline is "find your prince before the clock strikes twelve". its gimmick is that when you make a match with a person you have 24 hours to talk with them. if you like them, get their contact information before time runs out. because otherwise you're never fucking seeing them on the app again IT BLOCKS THE OTHER'S PROFILE. this is where capitalism comes in though. through a paid subscription, once per day, you can "leave a glass slipper" on a match's profile. it functions as a bookmark and keeps your conversation open for another 24 hrs. after the time is up you can keep the glass slipper there to extend more time or remove it to leave it on someone else's
#twst#jamie talks#txt post#bolted upright in a cold sweat like I need to tell the tumblr people about this one#this is so useless and so small but its so funny to me#cater has this downloaded. most definitely#someones GOTTA be catfishing as someone else on there i just dont know who
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Cane user Azul part 2, because I spent too much time counting this one :
Did you know that Azul is seen seated or using his cane in at least 1/3 (a third) of his cards, which is much more than Jade and Floyd, or even Leona and Silver who are known to sleep a whole lot. Dunno if the illustrators/devs gave him a cane on purpose and just don't make it official for ~reasons~ but I like to think it's at least a bit on purpose.
(Some Groovy spoilers ahead, be careful)
#more old art#my art#art#twisted wonderland#twst#azul ashengrotto#mobility aid#cane user azul#i did the calculations ok#on the english server only#but one third is still a lot#the devs went -let's give him the most over the top mobility aid so he can pretend he is some kind of badass mafia boss when he's actually#useless on his legs (affectionate)- and i'm so glad for it#mello's drawings
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2012 | 2024
#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#dan and phil#listen this is the most stuff i've made in years#it's like I'll have an idea and I cannot rest until it gets out of my brain and into the computer#is this hobby useless? yes entirely#has that stopped me? no not at all CLEARLY#anyways thanks for coming to my tagtalk#chickenchicken#hexagifs
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hey in ur peri animatic: (https://youtu.be/OCqlRuDaXYU?si=K52WDu_vw9rg7chz) that I have been permanently obsessed over since today and have watched about 20 times by now so much that I have drawn & posted stuff based on it what was that partial bug form peri had?
I haven’t watched either of the show btw so if it’s explained in the show please tell me plsssss
OK, SO the bug thing is not technically canon to the series. It's based on my own headcanons for fairy biology, but i do have justifications for it!! Fairies have very strong shape-shifting abilities, so it would make sense that the form they show to humans isn't necessarily their true form(not to mention extreme that mimicry is very common in insects). And you want to know the visible traits almost every fairy has in common? Being very small with Insect-like wings.
The fact that their humanoid form isn't their true form in actually confirmed in the show! Cosmo and Wanda are revealed to look like biblically accurate pseudo-angels in the museum episode. (I say pseudo angels because the Flaming Sword of Eden is only debatably sentient and I don't think is considered an angel. Ophanim are also debatably not angels because they don't have wings (sorry for the angel tangent I like angels))
So wouldn't their true forms be angelic then? Well, yes. But I like bugs so. Also I have more headcanons to justify myself. I like to think that they have both a true-true form (incomprehensible to the human brain, probably exists mostly in a dimension invisible to us, that looks how we imagine biblically accurate angels), and a fairy form (which is visible to humans but is naturally very insect like and tends to scare people). So, in order to interact with humans, they have to learn to shapeshift into a humanoid form but will occasionally slip if they get too relaxed/aren't careful, hence the mandibles coming out when he yawns!
The reason they struggle so much more with human forms than the animals or objects they typically turn into is that, well, they aren't trying to convince those animals or objects. The more human they try to look, the harder it is to keep up convincingly. If you turn into a really uncanny squirrel, only other squirrels will notice. If you turn into a really uncanny human, they form a lynch mob and burn you at the stake.
#fop#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#headcanons#ok I think I said everything I wanted to#my brain has so many useless thoughts bouncing around in there#their bright colors would also imply that they are poisonous to eat#my personal theory is that Jorgen is half human idk how else to explain whatever he is. tall. no wings. that or he's something else entirel#maybe he's a higher rank of angel#fairies are definitely a type of angel in this world#but they don't seem to line up with any specific rank as far as I can tell#they behave most like I'd expect a Guardian angel to which could make Jorgen an Archangel or Principality#but Ophanims are in the first sphere of heaven which. uh I don't think it's right#to be clear I'm not even religious im just way too into angels#Uhhhh anyway I guess the moral of the story is that I did that just because I wanted to an because nobody could stop me#Actually Im just thinking about this now#I mostly drew baby poof without bug features to keep his design uncluttered visually#but fairies having naturally very human looking larva would explain how changelings happen#something something evolution. mutualism. those parasite birds. idk#ok im out of thoughts now seriously this time youre free now#speculative biology
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3. Dress
Kara wore dresses. Lena had seen her wearing sundresses and skirts and even a cocktail dress once, and of course she’d worn a dress at the wedding and look very
(Painfully)
pretty
(Gorgeous)
in it.
So it wasn’t as if Lena had never seen her in a dress before. Still, if you asked Lena to picture Kara in her head, Lena would imagine her best friend in khaki pants that hugged her hips and displayed the impressive girth of her thighs, and of course the buns of steel. She would further visualize Kara wearing a plaid button-down tucked into a broad belt that emphasized the inhumanly flat plane or her muscular belly or the broad set of her block shoulders.
(If she didn’t visualize her wearing nothing at all)
Dresses simply didn’t seem to be her thing. She just felt right when she was a little… masc, one might say. Kara had a way about her, a swagger that worked with the belts and a habit of setting her arms with her hands in her hips that emphasized her physique.
Lena sometimes wondered how a pair of glasses had actually fooled her.
For the last eight weeks or so, Lena had been living in Kara’s apartment, sleeping on the couch in a weird state of limbo after she sold her penthouse. They had decided that Lena would soon be moving, but not where or when. Obviously she’d stay close -her life was here now, after all- but she wanted a change.
In a way, Lena was following in Kara’s footsteps, trying to relate to the world as her whole self. She’d come upon the idea of using a sort of checklist- reinventing herself with the same ruthless efficiency she brought to the lab and the boardroom. That was one part of herself that needed to go.
Lena’s whole life was constructed. She did everything she for a purpose, and that purpose no longer meant anything anymore. There was no longer a Lex or a Lillian to outmaneuver, no longer a board to persuade or dominate. She was running the Foundation, but from her laptop, and had hired Sam to handle the financials. She wasn’t even meeting with benefactors; she had people for that. Her main work focus now was a science education program for elementary school girls.
It was so liberating, not having to be the badass boardroom bitch. She’s stopped straightening her hair, abandoned her contacts in favor of chunky glasses, and, in a colossal shock to everyone, Kara included, stopped dyeing her hair black, a habit she’d picked up and kept because it pleased Lillian and kept up because stopping would be annoying.
She had even worn sweatpants. In public. Everyone in her family had been gifting her goofy clothes to wear; she was currently swaddled in a “Why Hex a Little When you Can Hexalotl” t-shirt that Kara had regifted, originally from Nia.
That was when Kara walked out of her bedroom area of the loft and Lena’s brain spun around and smacked against the front of her skull.
Kara was dressed to the nines in a black a-frame halter top mini dress that bared her shoulders and magnificent back, and she’d matched it with dark eye shadow and plum lipstick that was striking against her sun-kissed skin, and a pair of strappy high heels.
“Hey,” she said, sounding glum.
“Where are you off to?” Lena said, trying not to add the mental dressed like that.
“A date,” Kara sighed.
Lena kept her face even, despite the fact that her mind had just ripped in half. She was desperate to know why Kara sounded so glum, and also flat fucking terrified.
The idea of Kara going on a date horrified her. It made her instantly sick with worry -not just for Kara which was honestly a little silly- but because… because…
Lena was suddenly very aware that she didn’t want Kara to date. At all.
(Because she should be dating me)
Which sucked, because Kara was straight, because there was a god and he hated Lena Kieran Luthor and her accursed blood. That had to be why Lena was cursed to suffer a crush on
(be madly in love with)
the perfect girl who came from the sky.
“You look lovely,” said Lena. “Have fun.”
Kara blushed for a moment, then Looked at Lena a little oddly, a little forlorn.
“I’ll text you.”
Okay.
Kara left, and Lena was alone in Kara’s
(their)
loft with just herself and Zillow open on her laptop.
Lena browsed for a while, but none of the places looked right. They were all as if HGTV had puked onto an old house. The minimalism and open concepts reminded her too much of her Old Life. She wanted quirky. She wanted unique. She wanted a place that reflected who Lena really was.
Jesus H Christ, was this a mid life crisis? She wasn’t that old.
Lena was startled out of her reverie when the door swung open and Kara stormed in, slammed it shut, and kicked off her shoes, storming barefoot across the loft.
“Fucking asshole,” said Kara.
Lena blinked, stunned by the profanity, only to be filled with outrage.
“Kara? What happened?”
“This is the last time I let someone at work set me up on a date. I didn’t even want to go, Alex badgered me into it.”
Lena put her computer aside. Kara grabbed a pair of beers from the fridge and popped the lids with her thumbs as she sat down, which was literally one of the hottest things she did on a regular basis. She offered Lena one and took a pull on her own.
“He was a jerk,” said Kara. “I tried asking him whether a hot dog is a sandwich, and he just said ‘who cares’.”
“Kara, a hot dog is a sandwich. We’ve been through this.”
Kara glared at her. “I’m not doing this again, Lena. Not until you admit that a burrito is a sandwich.”
Lena rolled her eyes.
“The last straw was when he told me I shouldn't work out so much. He said my muscles make me look like a man."
Lena blinked. "Where did your coworkers find this jerk?"
"Accounting. He wouldn't shut up about his finance degree. He insisted on paying for everything, too. Oh, and he told me I eat too much! All I did was order some appetizers!"
Lena drained her beer and grabbed another. She listened patiently as Kara vented about this guy and the other various jerks she'd gone one date with.
"I'm doomed, Lena. Every guy is a dick and insecure around me."
At around this time, she finished beer five. Lena nodded.
“Even if I think it’s working I lose the spark. Like when James finally wanted to go out with me and I was just like ‘nah.’”
“James… was nah for me too,” said Lena.
(Honestly, Kara, you should try dating girls.)
“Wait,” said Kara, “What?”
Oh.
She said that one out loud.
Shit.
“Um,” Lena said, lamely panicking, “I um, that was a joke, I meant… well it… worked out for your sister?”
Kara gaped at her.
Lena swallowed hard. “Would you believe it sounded funny in my head?”
“Have you… ever dated girls?” said Kara.
Lena’s stomach almost shot out of her throat. She put her most recent beer down to keep it from sloshing as her hands shook. She looked at Kara, who looked back, expectant… and hopeful?
“Yes,” Lena admitted. “Jack was the only man. I ever dated except James, but there have been women, too. Not that many. Despite my reputation I was never that social.”
“Who?” Kara asked, immediately.
Lena licked her lips. “Andrea.”
Kara stared. “Andrea? Andrea Rojas? Really?”
“It was a teen thing that ended in our eariy twenties, but it was serious. So do you remember how I told you I knew Roulette from boarding school?”
Kara nodded.
“Well, I knew her, um, biblically.”
Kara snorted. “No way. Who else?”
Lena smiled. At least she wasn’t being weird about it.”
“You’re not saying no to trying it yourself,” said Lena.
Kara looked away.
“I…”
She took a drink of beer.
“There are no queer people on Krypton, Lena. There weren’t, I guess I should say.”
The pain in Kara’s voice made Lena shift closer, set aside her drink and curl a hand softly around her arm.
“You don’t have to tell me this if it hurts.”
Kara shook her head. “I… my culture would not allow anything, uh, gay. Or homosexual. Like we literally don’t even have a word for it, it’s so foreign to us. We were taught that the only acceptable pairing was for the best possible offspring. Most of my people didn’t have sex at all, it was all artificial. My aunt and uncle were some who did, they had Clark naturally.”
“So Kryptonians can’t be gay?”
Lena’s heart sank.
“I didn’t think so, but, there was this girl once and she made me feel something I never felt before… and seeing her made all of my other feelings feel different. After I saw her I suddenly felt like I was just going after guys because I was supposed to. Even when I was with Mon-El I had this feeling that… I mean it felt good and I liked being able to cut loose but it felt like…”
Lena waited, not wanting to push her.
“Frankly, it felt like using him as a sex toy. Nothing else in our relationship really felt that deep. Even when he came back and went to Argo with me, I was more happy about my mother seeing me continue our family line than I was about him actually being with me. The second time he left I almost felt relieved.”
“That’s a lot, Kara. I had no idea.”
“I had no idea you liked girls either,” said Kara.
“I really do,” Lena admitted. “Who was she, this girl that stole your heart? High school crush?”
“No,” said Kara. “I met her as Supergirl. The first time I ever saw her, I saved her.”
“Very romantic.”
Kara sighed. “She was the prettiest. She’s so soft, so inviting, and whenever she looks at me I feel like she’s staring right through me, seeing everything in a good way. She’s smart and kind and brave and she has the prettiest blue-green eyes and one of them is a little more blue and the other is a little more green.”
Lena felt the blood drain from her face as her hand shook. Kara smiled wistfully.
“I was always too scared to say anything. I didn’t think she’d ever want me the way I want her.”
Lena looked up and met Kara’s gaze.
“I want more than to not be alone,” said Kara. “I want to be understood. I want to be with someone but I want to be together with someone I can be alone with. Somebody who gets me, who likes what I like, who takes joy in sharing the things we love. Who looks really cute in my clothes. Especially the hexalotl shirt.”
Lena blinked.
“Oh.”
(Oh)
“I like all that stuff but also blondes with big muscles who fly.”
Kara lunged across the couch and had Lena’s arms in her grip, and suddenly was lying on top of her, in that dress. Lena stared up at her.
“I wonder who we know who fits that description,” said Kara.
“I want you to kiss me.”
Kara smirked and leaned down, bringing her lips to Lena’s, and Lena honest to god moaned into her mouth as the kiss deepened, panting with excitement. As if her intentions weren’t obvious, Lena ground herself against Kara, working her thigh between her legs.
“I thought you were straight,” Kara blurted out.
“As spaghetti,” said Lena.
“What?” Kara blinked.
“I’ll explain later. As great as that dress looks on you, darling, it’d look better on the floor.”
#supercorp#supergirl fanfiction#supergirl#supercorp fanfic#lena luthor#kara danvers#kara x lena#karlena#supergirl fanfic#ficlet#spicycorp#kara is the most oblivious beefcake#oblivious Lena#mutual obliviousness#useless lesbians#love confessions#lust confessions#headcanons about Krypton#Kara has internalized homophobia#Lena Luthor loves snuggles#Lena Luthor likes muscles#lena is a big softie#lena is a witch#supercorptober2024#supercorptober 2024#supercorptober#supercorp fluff#supercorp fan fiction
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i think i know how to describe every sskk mischaracterization ever.
atsushi is more likely to call someone a cunt than akutagawa.
#akutagawa will call them a blithely fool or a useless waste of oxygen rather than the obvious insults#atsushi will not say it to their face but he'll Mutter It#and most of the time he's muttering it TO akutagawa unless it's ABOUT akutagawa#shin soukoku#<- this one gets a main tag
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#stupid fucking trophy#he had a choice to change but didnt#this man although aware hes the most insufferable person in the party pushes everyone away and sees himself as some sort of higher up or#something#like hes in denial i dont know#you're not invited to this party what are you even doing here#you're just here to fill in as another object not to actually be useful in the eyes of other people#useless trophy#ii trophy#ii knife#ii osc#inanimate insanity#0 art#ii 16 spoilers#i think?
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