#the most chaotic throuple

[whentommymetalfie]

Tommy, watching Luca and Alfie bicker: Guys, stop. You're both pretty.

(what happens next?)

Setting: I'm imagining breakfast-time in Alfie's kitchen. Tommy's sat by the table dressed in just Alfie's old shirt and shorts, barefoot and still with sleep mussed hair and a cigarette between his fingers. Luca -down to his shirt sleeves but looking impeccable as always- is making tea. Alfie -looking like he always does aka. 'disheveled' (Luca's opinion) alternatively 'charmingly relaxed' (Tommy's opinion)- is on breakfast-duty, simply by virtue of being up and out of bed first. Otherwise Luca is more than happy to take care of that. Which is just one of the things they're currently bickering about.

Well. Following Tommy's statement, a moment of befuddled silence follows as they both look first at Tommy and then at each other.

Alfie harrumphs. "He might be," he says with a nod in Luca's direction. "I'm more the ruggedly handsome kind, wouldn't you say, treacle?" Not usually one to guard his manly pride like that but well it's different in front of Luca, isn't it?

"Oh so you think I'm pretty?" Luca says and looks annoyingly smug which was not his intention at all and Alfie feels like he's been caught in a trap because fine, he'd be blind to not see that Luca is objectively easy on the eyes but that doesn't mean he has to admit it.

"No I find you utterly repulsive, not to mention unbearable to be around," he grunts into the frying pan and then continues to mutter to himself in Yiddish while he aggressively stirs the scrambled eggs. But Luca still looks like a cat who's swallowed a canary. Sets his teacup down and goes to stand behind Tommy's chair, bending down until he can kiss him lightly on the forehead, hands cradling his chin. He smiles down at him.

"Out of the three of us, you're the pretty one, my dove."

"Ha, pretty doesn't suffice!" Alfie exclaims with a wave of the spatula. "Thomas' beauty is astounding and frankly unmatched within the modern era. It's the kind of beauty one must write poems and sonnets about, the kind men start war over-" he's gesturing with the spatula. Tommy much to his annoyance feels himself blush, while Luca watches, one eyebrow quirked with amusement.

"And you're the single most dramatic man in London," he tells Alfie. "Possibly the world-"

"Pfft, you're one to talk."

"But yes, all of that too," Luca finishes, once again giving Tommy a fond smile and bending down to kiss him, on the lips this time, before nodding towards the frying pan. "Watch those eggs before you burn them."

Alfie once again curses, and turns his attention back to his cooking. Luca takes a seat across from Tommy by the table, picking up one of his feet to warm his cold toes between his hands. And for a little while things are unusually peaceful.

They all try quite hard to ignore that apparently there's now such as a thing as 'the three of us' as per Luca's previous statement. Because it makes things infinitely more complicated. But the thing is, it's true, whether they chose to acknowledge it or not.

[sdillanes]

[eintausendschoen]

POV: It is Valentines Day. You followed an invitation to a bar on Mount Helicon, for an event called "The Blue Hearts Club". A mysterious invite extended by a total stranger... with the promise of a relaxing night out. Some well deserved Me-Time.

At the door, the owner of the place greets you like she knows you. She says her name is Kalliope, one of the Muses, but you do not know her.

When she points you at a crowded table at the back of the room you follow.

There, of course, you realize what the invite meant by...

... "Me-Time. Uh-huh.... riiiiight..."

The Muse winks at you as she pases, distributing another round of drinks. "Welcome to Valentine's!", she laughs, and from across the table laughter joins: "Yeah, with yourself!!"

For @dxwart — sorry to spring this on you but ... ah... that WAISTCOAT just had to be shown around. 💜 (link to the artwork)

🤩Shoutouts to all the beautiful beautiful people who lend me their designs to play with to make this date happen. You are all AMAZING artists and THANK YOU for all the good vibes here and making Poseidonverse happen!!🤩

From left to right, top to bottom and then right to left again (in terms of order 🤌) because life in the sea is a circle: In purple and gold, Poseidon by @rin-sith - he is so much fun to draw it is riddiculous.

Next to him, the cheeky lil' king (who really isn't little at all, believe me, everyone else is just so enormous, there is a sizechart but it blew the scale) with the luscious hair and the prettiest scales: Poseidon in a more mortal-ish form by @ruthlessness69

Okay, you all know him and he's half across the table already. This king is having LA FIESTA tonight, because he got a list, and now he got more names. @messymoonmad - he did that all on his own, I swear by Styx. (I love him so much.)

Yeah, canon Poseidon. He was there first, and now he's having a hard time holding onto his drink. ���

Seacreature at the back is the lower half of @tagzpite glorious Poseidon. He might have just lost a bet, but he is a good sport. Also, checking out that blue-haired devil across the table already. (I just borrowed him last minute, he got dragged along - hope it's alright. He'll be returned intact.) Next three... most chaotic throuple (if you can call it that) in the history of saltwater. Poseidon of @pink-noah tried to snatch the hand of @kamuch-kommandos hot dark menace. Got snatched in turn and poor him, Tall Dark and Handsome got a death grip. All just because Poseidon by @bigidiotenergytm went to win a dare and smooch the Big Gun at risk of ear-injury.

Guess @melodyartists Poseidon owe's him a drink now. (He squeezed in last minute when I stumbled upon your post where he introduced himself to the popular girls, and of course I had to bring him into this mess. Hope it's alright? :)) ) Poseidon by @anniflamma, but her awesome new design. He wanted a word with @neal-illustrator's (neals not active here afaik but tagging anyway), so they made an appearance. Mostly because...

...you know them, you love them, you windbaarrrghl. Is it Cloudysseus shlepping Cloudseidon in to steal grapes together? Is it Zeus spying on his brother's Valentines date? Nobody knows. @kdpartworks thank you so much for lending them - I'll return them safe and sound when Poseidon gets back home.

To his left... @wukyma - he did the vase-face again. Why is he so cute when he does that? I'm such a big fan this wet grumpy cat, especially with Polites. (And how do you draw his curls??? That was so hard!) Of course he'd sit next to Gorgeous by @arraunean and trade war stories. No armour for the bar, but these two are classic guys and this is Helicon, so the comfy draperies to go with the wine.

And last - your host's 'not-quite-boss': he's mine, :))

Happy Valentine's everyone <3

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙love language | CL16 LN4˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x reader y/n (she/her) x lando norris

genre: social media au, polyamorous relationship

warnings: polyamory, dates on tweets make no sense to the story lol ignore them im srsly lazy & idc tbh

summary: in which your boyfriends love languages seem to be polar opposites

a/n: ur wish is my command also im fr running out of plot ideas on my own for the poly reqs LOLL so if u got any ideas then spam my inbox bbyyy

request!!!: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE more poly lando and charles (and kika)

fc: jules leblanc

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 414,789 others

francisca.cgomes ☕️ yum

view all 12,053 comments

user2 kikayn my favourite bffs 😻

user3 waiting for lando & charles to comment

user4 charles lando come get ur girl

pierregasly that girl is a bad influence on you babe

yourusername i know ur not talking about me

francisca.cgomes crickets...

yourusername he's scared of me. iktr

francisca.gomes as he should be

landonorris next time i will succeed.

user5 LANDO

pierregasly in what exactly 🤨

francisca.cgomes he wants me dead

landonorris never said that

yourusername you kind of did

landonorris not explicitly

charles_leclerc lando stop causing fights

pierregasly yea lando.

yourusername he's all talk dw

francisca.cgomes yea keyboard warrior much

landonorris pipe down

charles_leclerc my girl so pretty

yourusername 🥰🥰🥰

francisca.cgomes this is why ur my favourite charles

charles_leclerc ❤️

user6 the difference in replies between charles & lando 😂

user7 most chaotic comment section award goes to...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 216,823 others

yourusername ...fourple?

tagged: francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, landonorris

view all 4,270 comments

pierregasly leaving me out why?

yourusername u hate me i fear 😔

francisca.cgomes not true he's just intimidated by u

user8 justice for y/n

user9 they do poly so naturally

user10 the third pic omggggg y/n & her boys

liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc

user11 she's so gorgeous

francisca.cgomes no just ditch them both for me actually!

yourusername well..... actually yes

francisca.cgomes YESSSS i wonnnn

landonorris 🤨

pierregasly 😤

charles_leclerc 😢

landonorris ilyyy hot girl

charles_leclerc mon amour ❤️

user12 i'll never get over lando & charles' completely opposite love languages 😂

liked by yourusername

user13 they r so real i luv them

yourusername posted a story

liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, and 113,077 others

user14 "double" date or third wheel y/n?

user15 CUTIES

user16 kika my 2nd fav wag after u ofc

user17 oh to be a fly on the wallllllll

oscarpiastri are you holding him hostage

yourusername dont you start too

oscarpiastri 🤐

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 301,185 others

yourusername home alone for a week 🏝️

view all 3,747 comments

user18 AWWWW home alone no charlandoyn content

user19 aww lonely girl

francisca.cgomes this is why u need me

yourusername im actually independent

landonorris kika ur obsessed with my gf it's weird

pierregasly bro ur gf is obsessed with my gf too...

francisca.cgomes it's called love. obviously

charles_leclerc i support it 😊

landonorris stfu

pierregasly be quiet charles

yourusername we love charlie <3

charles_leclerc 🥰

user20 will their comment sections ever be normal

user21 i jus know they miss her sm

user22 she's too cool

messages ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, landonorris, and 427,911 others

user23 OMGGG UR WITH Y/N

user24 favs omg

user25 aesthetic affff

user26 perfect couple (should i say throuple?)

francisca.cgomes ugh you guys are back stealing her from me

charles_leclerc you snooze you lose

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 88,283 others

user27 love language strikes again

user28 he's soo sweet and attentive

user29 i want what they have

user30 lomls

charles_leclerc i love you

yourusername ❤️ love you

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 95,162 others

user31 LANDOOOO

user32 LOL this is sooo lando i love him

user33 obsessed with him

user34 i am once again saying opposite love languages

user35 he loves u so much

oscarpiastri i wish my boyfriend would do this!

yourusername hands off, piastri

oscarpiastri 😂

carlossainz55 he is so expressive

liked by yourusername

twitter ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 826,103 others

charles_leclerc happy to be home 🏡

tagged: yourusername, landonorris

view all 11,426 comments

user43 omg the last pic HAHAHA

user44 is that lando with the bows 😂

landonorris no comment

user45 obsessed with this

user46 y/n reveal charles' love language immediately

user47 TELL USSSS @.yourusername

yourusername words of affirmation of course!

user48 im in love w all 3 of them

francisca.cgomes the third pic awwww cuties

yourusername 😘

landonorris being nice all of a sudden?

charles_leclerc don't question it just be happy!

yourusername i love you!!!

charles_leclerc i love you our girl

landonorris 🧡🧡🧡

user49 charlandoyn you will always be famous

landonorris

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 782,538 others

landonorris back where i belong

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

view all 14,402 comments

user50 AWWW

user51 they love y/n sm it's so cute

user52 omg lando being sincere & sweet :))

user53 in his charles era

yourusername aww my sweetest boyy

user54 lando love language reveal y/n!!!

yourusername acts of service ofc 😊

user55 omg🥹🥹🥹🥹

user56 y/n is so gorgeous in the second pic

user57 literally majestic

user58 charles & y/n in the third pic omg me when

user59 i want what they have

charles_leclerc perfect perfect boy

yourusername in every way :)))

landonorris stop it guys im blushing......

THE END ❤️🧡

[darkcrowprincess]

The real question we should be asking is how much more chaotic things would have gotten if the full throuple went to the emerald city and saw the wizard together. How much more chaotic would things have gotten if Fiyero went with them. Fiyero Tigelaar is attracted to two of the most powerful(in their each own individual ways) ladies in all of Oz, he also is a go with the flow kind of guy until things get really dangerous. He's sticking with them no matter what.

[xiepheer]

If you're up for it, how about a headcanon of reader, shadow milk, and pure vanilla as a throuple? Feel free to go both SFW and NSFW if your mood is up

Truth and Deceit

Pure Vanilla cookie x reader x Shadow Milk cookie

Hello everyone! Honestly tysm for the likes in my previous post!

ANYWAYSSSS reader will be a fem here!

Hope yall enjoy this! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Also so sorry if this is bad 😭🙏

Dating the truth and deceit is crazy work.

Imagine just having a calm boyfriend and a boyfriend that wastes his time on shows, carnivals, puppets, etc.

That's exactly what it is.

Pure Vanilla cookie would most likely be the calm and collected one in your throuple.

Meanwhile Shadow Milk cookie would be the one who mostly be the chaotic one and the one who gets in trouble all the time.

And you have to handle all that.

Both truth and deceit loves you very much.

The truth would spend his time being with you, teaching you ways of Earthbread.

The deceit on the other hand, would let you watch with him as he manipulates cookies. Making them his puppets for his shows.

Pure Vanilla cookie would scold him whenever Shadow Milk cookie teaches you things like how to manipulate cookies.

But very often, Shadow Milk cookie wouldn't care about him and would continue doing so.

Why would he listen to him anyways.

These two had different jealousy.

For Pure Vanilla Cookie, it is simply just talking about it to you and how it made him feel slightly jealous and would politely ask for you to slightly distance from them a little.

For Shadow Milk cookie, he would NOT talk about it to you. He would manipulate the cookie using his strings to say mean things to you which can make you think they're actually being real at their words.

Then when you actually cried to them about it, both would comfort you.

But Pure Vanilla always suspects that it had something to do with Shadow Milk cookie.

Because of his slight smirk after you crying to them.

Pure Vanilla would talk to him about this but he most likely ignores him.

Both still love you very much.

No matter what, they love you and would do anything for you. (Pure Vanilla would do anything except for foul things like murder and robbery)

During events, Shadow Milk cookie would host the most incredible shows you would have ever seen and it's all for you.

Pure Vanilla cookie would make you a whole table full of delicious food for you, him, and of course, Shadow Milk cookie.

Since Shadow Milk cookie thinks giving you items and beautiful gifts make you happy,

So Shadow Milk cookie would give you the most beautiful jewels he could find all for you during Valentine's or birthdays or everyday.

Meanwhile, Pure Vanilla always gives you affection. The affection you wanted.

Shadow Milk cookie would also scare you sometimes which can end up to you crying or laughing. 50/50 chance.

And if you DID cry, Pure Vanilla would comfort you and scold Shadow Milk which ends up to Shadow Milk snuggling up to you at night as a apology.

Shadow Milk cookie is like an affectionate cat when it comes to cuddling. He would nuzzle to you or your chest and sleep there or on you.

Pure Vanilla cookie would lay on your lap and sleep there.

They would sometimes snuggle on both sides of you body if you're asleep by yourself.

Pure Vanilla cookie, the gentle ancient, hero, and lover

Shadow Milk cookie, the chaotic beast lover.

Though both don't usually get along, you managed to get them to get along overtime.

Both reminded you who you belong to. You belong to Them. Always.

So sorry if this is short! I'm trying!

Anyways Pls correct me if you need to, I dont mind! Have a great day! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I hope you enjoyed this!

[gojoest]

MDNI, sukugo x f! reader (established throuple), she/her pronouns used, true form sukuna, unprotected sex (p in v), brief mention of oral (f receiving), thigh fucking (sukuna @ satoru), petnames (satoru calls you baby once i think, didn’t proofread sry), wc: 1.2k+

no plot just sukuna holding you for satoru to fuck + thigh fucking satoru with one of his cocks bc they make me ill

this thing between the three of you...

it made little sense to those around. when the word got out that you were involved, people started fearing you too. it raised many questions, among which you were the biggest one. in their eyes you were a being too peculiar and far more intimidating than you looked it, for having tamed the two most powerful forces mankind had ever known — the two strongest in the entire history of curses and sorcerers.

not long ago gojo satoru and ryomen sukuna were out for each other’s blood, but now you had them nicely wrapped around your finger. or vice versa, they had you nicely wrapped around their cocks.

there was no logical explanation to how you made this work, only that it just somehow did.

and it made so much sense when you fucked.

the otherwise chaotic duo was surprisingly in sync when they took turns on you and fucked you senseless, until you were reduced to a shaking, stuttering mess.

they always fell on you like starved animals. while one was taking off your clothes, the other was kissing every bit of skin that got exposed.

“more gently”, a low grunt erupted from satoru’s throat (directed at sukuna) while he gave a few extra pumps to his cock before entering you. his tip grazing against your folds, sliding up and down to spread your slick, making you bite your lips through a hiss. “hold her more gently, you’re going to bruise her”, he warned again.

“tch”, sukuna clicked his tongue, “don’t boss me around when i’m holding her for you to fuck”

despite the protest, he softened his grip. although just by bit.

“no need to be so sour now, big boy. you know the rules ��� if you eat first, you get to fuck last”, satoru grinned teasingly, reminding him why he was in this position in the first place.

under regular circumstances, neither of them would follow rules, it just did not align with their nature. but when it came to you, they were both very cooperative and diligent so long they got to fuck the pretty little thing that you were. as much as they wanted to penetrate you simultaneously and compare dick sizes inside your cunt in real time to see whose would reach further and deeper, they knew they had to take turns on you. there was no other way — those cocks were too massive for your pussy to fit them both.

today sukuna had his way with you first. he devoured you hungrily with both of his mouths. alternating between your cunt and your face every few minutes, to steal kisses and let you taste yourself on his lips while the tongue on his belly kept lapping on your folds.

“be quick, as you always are”, sukuna mocked with a smug grin.

he had you still and steady over his groin as he stood tall in the middle of the room, your back pressed against his chest as his four arms held your legs open for the whitehaired man to have his way with you. a pair of hands clutching you from under your knees, and the other — spreading your pussy lips apart, enough to make your hole gasp open for the cock in front of you.

“fuck, so pretty”, an eager growl dragged out of satoru’s lips as he prodded his cockhead at your entrance, arousal spurting out of your cunt as your muscles flexed and tightened in seek of deeper friction. “shit, that was so hot”, he breathed.

so slick and sopping, you were already sucking him in with such ease when he pressed his tip against your hole that his hips jerked and bucked forward, involuntarily inserting a few inches of himself in you. “nghh, ‘toru, m-more—”, you mewled agonizingly when he stopped midway in his tracks. he wasn’t ready to enter fully yet, but call it muscle memory the way his hips moved on their own back there. “oh god, baby, you are so fucking wet”

“right?”, sukuna grinned. “it’s me who made her like that”, his hands released your pussy lips and traced across the small of satoru’s back, rolling down further to grab a handful of his ass — “go bask in her, brat” — and forcefully slammed him into you until he completely bottomed out. “when she asks for more, you give her. now move — or do you need my help there too?”

“shit, don’t just do that”, satoru cursed through a throaty cry, eyes squeezed shut as his head fell on your chest. that jerk…

he needed a few moments before he could start moving, just to adjust, to adapt to the way you clenched your walls around him. it was the fact that you felt too good and squeezed too much that often made him cum too soon. but right now, he was in a bit of a more serious bind as sukuna’s second cock, sticking out like a branch from under your spread ass cheeks, was tickling and pressing against his balls — it was too much to handle all at once.

fuck, fuck, fuck. he was too sensitive.

the position was perfect for both of sukuna’s cocks to be humped and stimulated at the same time — with one of them squished between your back and his belly, and the other — prodding in between satoru’s thighs. all he needed was the friction, and the only one who could give it to him was satoru. “come on now, be a good boy — move”, sukuna coaxed, peppering soft kisses on your shoulder from behind. his eyes glued on the man before him as his lips left wet trails on your skin. “she’s waiting”, cooing sweetly.

and you — you enticed him too, wrapping arms around his shoulders and pulling him in — “come on, baby. fuck me, hard” — you whispered needily before planting a kiss on his mouth that he, on the other hand, grew into a smile.

satoru’s lips curled up knowingly, aware of the hidden agenda behind the request coming from the both of you. sly, greedy lovers, he thought internally. you probably had that schemed during your earlier makeout sesh. he could feel the pulse of sukuna’s massive cock throb against his inner thighs along with the heartbeat of your clit pressed on his lower abdomen, mixing in together until he couldn’t tell which one belonged to who anymore. it made the blood in his groin boil, sizzle even more.

he leaned in closer again, kissing you first, then stretching his neck over your shoulder to lock lips with sukuna. you had to admit, the sounds they made as they kissed each other were probably the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. the grunts, the moans, the whimpers, the muffled-up breathing as their mouths smashed together — right next to your ear, almost making the voices sound like they were in your head.

and just like that, satoru’s hips naturally started rocking back and forth, in a steady motion at first. just for the first few thrusts as a warm-up before he picked it up to a merciless pace in the blink of an eye. darting in and out of you in a quick, sharp flow of motions. pulling all the way out and slamming back in with full force, knocking the air out of you each time, making you arch that back to pressure the cock squished behind the small of it while his thighs remained clenched around the other cock as humanly possible, eliciting grunts of pleasure and obscenity from the man behind you…

he just had to fuck you very hard now, didn’t he? both of you, his two sly, greedy lovers that made him do all the work…

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[whentommymetalfie]

ooh can we see the Luca/Tommy/Alfie snippets you've written please?

I'm usually way too self conscious to post anything that isn't edited (which none of them are) but you know what, have this one to start, as a treat! ❤️ And again please bear in mind that this is just a rough, unedited draft with no beginning or end:

.....

The next morning, Alfie wakes first. During the night Tommy has somehow ended up on the other end of the bed, curled himself into a ball the way he so often does. Alfie resists the urge to pull him back into his arms. He can be considerate when he wants to, right, and Tommy, bless him, probably needs the sleep. Alfie can grant him that, even if he’s put himself in that situation. 

He gets up instead. Rubs his lower back as he ambles over to his wardrobe to get dressed. Already half past nine. Tommy moves a little. Alfie goes to his adjacent bathroom and starts filling the bath. He’s left sitting there staring at the water, yawning because thanks to Tommy there hasn’t been much sleep, has there, the little fiend. Once the bath is full, he returns to the bedroom. Finding Tommy right where he left him, he seats himself on the edge of the bed. Decides which spot to kiss and settles for his temple, right where the delicate cheekbone ends. Runs his fingers through Tommy’s hair.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” 

Tommy scrunches his face up and buries it in the pillow. Lets out a noise. Alfie scratches lightly over the back of his neck. 

“I’m thinking about a certain expression about when one’s made their bed.” 

“ ‘m fine.” 

“Sure you are.” 

Not without a struggle, Tommy sits up, wincing and then making a face. 

“Fuck, I feel disgusting.” 

Alfie at least gives him a sympathetic face because while it was Tommy himself who fell asleep before getting cleaned up, he’s still a gentleman. And he could have, technically, done it for him. If he wasn’t -on top of being a gentleman- a terrible bastard who enjoys the thought of Tommy sleeping with his come drying between his thighs.  

“Well there’s a bath waiting for you,” he says. Cradles the nape of Tommy’s neck and kisses his forehead again. “So why don’t you get yourself clean and comfortable while I make you breakfast?” 

He’s just setting the teapot on the table when Tommy comes downstairs, clad in a terrycloth robe, wrapped tightly around himself. Way too big, of course. 

They sit opposite each other, legs brushing under the table. Alfie reading the paper, Tommy having a smoke and occupied with a book. 

“So, that thing you told me last night,” Alfie says and can’t help the grin. “Have to say, it’s peaked my interest.” When he looks over the edge of the paper at Tommy, Tommy’s got a confused wrinkle between his eyebrows. Then he looks down at his book again. 

“Really.” 

Alfie smirks. “Tell me, sweetheart, have you per chance forgotten about that? Seeing as you were quite drunk.” 

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Tommy scoffs. 

“No? Could’ve fooled me. You were unusually vocal. You know, about certain wishes you might have…” 

 Tommy is trying very hard to appear at ease, he can tell. But his silence tells Alfie well enough that he’s trying to remember. 

“And I figured that perhaps now when Luca is coming, we could fulfil that fantasy of yours.” 

Tommy blinks and looks at him, patches of red climbing up nis neck. Alfie smirks at him. 

“I’d have to talk to him first. Think it over, of course. Because while I’m not one to deny you anything, I do worry that perhaps you’d… bite off more than you can chew, so to speak. We need to make sure you’re safe.” 

Tommy turns his attention back to his book, but his cheeks are flaming red now.  

“It’s not like you to be so shy, sweetheart. Nothing to be bashful about, is it? I’m glad you told me. Why else do I live, but to serve you?” 

“Shut up, Alfie,” Tommy mutters, and Alfie leaves him be. But he’s already making plans. 

…

As it so happens, Luca calls from his suite at the Savoy. 

“A little bird whispered in my ear that Tommy is staying with you.”

“Which well informed little bird was that, hm?”

Luca chuckles. “Tommy answered my telegram. Told me he’d be in London. I figured the rest out. Is he there now?”

“No, now when you mention it, I’m not entirely sure where he’s run off to.” 

To the docks outside the bakery to oversee a shipment.

“You don’t have any of your men watching him?” 

Three. 

Alfie chuckles. “Mate, have you met Tommy?” 

“You’re just letting him run loose? Anything could happen.”

“Calm down, this is my city, innit. Tommy’s safe.”

“Perhaps as long as he stays on your corner of it.” 

“Please, everything north of the Thames is hardly a fucking corner.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that.” 

Alfie waves a hand in a dismissive gesture even if Luca can’t see him. “We’ll discuss that later. I’m taking Tommy out to dinner tonight. Seven thirty, the Ritz. And if things… happen to go in a certain direction afterwards, perhaps we’ll take the drinks afterwards at my place.” 

Luca hums. 

“And, as it so happens, Tommy shared a little something with me, which you might be interested in hearing.”

“I’m listening.” 

And Alfie tells him. Luca’s interest is peaked to say the least, although he's not without concerns.

“But couldn’t it be… painful?”  

“I suppose.” Alfie leans back in his seat. Strokes his beard. “Well, it’ll be intense, that’s for sure, perhaps a bit more than he’s counted on. But we’d make sure he’s safe. If it’s something you’d be interested in.” 

“Anything for our Tommy.” And Alfie can tell that he’s got that infuriatingly smug half smirk on his face, but he doesn’t really mind.

…

Tommy is eating soup. Or, barely eating soup. He’s got one of those streaks when nothing seems appetizing, Alfie’s noticed, even if he hasn’t pointed it out. Doesn’t want to sour the mood, not when he’s got a very particular direction in which he hopes this evening will progress. Alfie meanwhile eats a roast leg of lamb, quite aptly made. Tries to tempt Tommy with a bite or two without any success. He’s sat turned slightly towards the room, they’re in a secluded corner of the restaurant, and he’s given Tommy the seat closest to the wall, naturally, as the gentleman he is. And still, Alfie’s the one who catches sight of Luca first as he enters. The waitor nods in direction of their table and Luca moves with his usual suave elegance through the room. Catches Alfie’s eye right away and alright, perhaps he feels a little spark of something when he smiles. Luca makes for a striking sight, that’s just an objective fact and unrelated to any feelings Alfie may or may not have on the matter. 

Tommy notices, of course, quirks an eyebrow but doesn’t turn to look. 

“I’m getting concerned with the quality of this establishment. Apparently they let anyone in these days,” Alfie says when Luca is within earshot, gaining an eyeroll. Tommy’s reaction is the sweetest thing he’s ever seen, for lack of better words. He lights up, eyes glimmering, and when Luca opens his arms in greeting he gets out of his seat and falls into them. Luca wraps him in a tight embrace, holding on for as long as he dares to. Even in this secluded corner, it’s still a public place. Then again they could just be dear old friends reunited after a long absence. 

“I thought you weren’t getting here until tomorrow.”

“Well, I might have wanted to surprise you a little.” 

Luca brushes his hand gently across his cheek. Tommy looks up at him, expression uncharacteristically open, lashes fluttering and cheeks gone a lovely shade of pink. 

“Get a room you two,” Alfie says and hides his smile behind the wineglass. How can he not smile when Tommy looks like that. 

“If you’re not careful, I might,” Luca says. “And I think you in particular be quite disappointed with that development. But I do think that Tommy should finish his dinner.” With a hand lightly on his lower back he leads Tommy back to his seat next to Alfie, pulling his chair out. His hand lingers on the back of his neck for just a moment. 

“Better get you a chair, then,” Alfie says and a quick wave in their waiter’s direction is enough to summon both him and a chair. 

“Can I get you anything, Sir?” 

“A glass of Barolo.” He scans the menu. “And I suppose I could stomach the steak.”  

The waiter removes himself with a polite smile. Luca huffs. 

“God the food options of this country is truly something I have not missed.” 

“Yeah, well we’re happy you’ve decided to grace our shit country with your presence.” Alfie knocks his leg lightly against Luca’s under the table. But then he lets a hand slip down to  gently grip around his knee. Luca smiles faintly. Reaches to take the hand and give it a brief squeeze. 

[apeachty]

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀G U I D E L I N E S (?) -`♡´-₊˚⊹

⊹ i don't take requests, because i obviously have a problem with writing something that wasn't born in my own head.

⊹ no submissive member at all, you'll never find it in my writing (sorry?..).

⊹ some of my writing might seem like a huge self-insert. it's because it is 乁₍ッ₎ㄏ

⊹ i just write whatever comes to my head and with the member that comes to my head, so i guess it'll be more or less the same scenarios for the members.

⊹ i have no idea what i'm doing most of the time, so feel free to tell me if my warnings or genres are wrong, mdni banner is needed or not needed and i did opposite, if it's hard to read because i decided to play around with colors (and lost), and so on. i'm nice, i swear, just awkward.

⊹ no regular posting. i do post a lot rn, but i don't know how it's gonna be in the future.

⊹ i also write in lowercase only, so...

˚✧ ₊˚ʚ⠀M A S T E R L I S T [ in some way ]

everything's on the blog under #[ by me ] and #[ writing ] ⠀ ⠀⠀✦ — personal favourite

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀OT5 ˖ wrong chat ♡ group chat of ot5 x reader about nnn where yeonjun mixed up chats [ fake texts ] — ✦ ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ missing soobin hours ♡ ot5 x reader about soobin on a break [ fake texts ] ˖ fever care ♡ ot5 x sick!reader + yeonjun x sick!reader [ fake texts + written ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ "soobin's half 50 now" ♡ chaotic ot5 x reader group chat at midnight of soobin's birtday [ fake texts ]

˖ bad day ♡ ot5 x reader separately where reader has a shitty day [ fake texts ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ peanut fanclub ♡ yeonjun can't stop showing peanut off in ot5 + reader group chat + slight yeonjun x reader [ fake texts ]

˖ unwelcome ♡ a wood witch!reader finds unknown member on her glade [ written | fantasy au | 1.3k ] — ✦

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀SOOBIN ˖ snowy evenings ♡ winter date with soobin and spending evening with his family [ written | fluff | 2.4k ] ⠀

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀YEONJUN ˖ morning shadows ♡ yeonjun comforting reader when she wakes up feeling down [ written | hurt/comfort | extremely lq | 0.5k ]

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀BEOMGYU ˖ $999,999 ♡ cuddles with beomgyu [ written | fluff | 0.3k ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ bottled up ♡ platonic reader x beomgyu with a bit of soobin inspired by beomidio ep. 7 & my heartbreak [ written | hurt/comfort | 0.8k ] — ✦

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀TAEHYUN ˖ impromptu book club ♡ turns out you have a lot in common with a best friend of your best friend—taehyun [ written | fluff | 2.4k ]

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀KAI ˖ negative kai. user guide ♡ kai stumbles upon a note you made for yourself long ago [ written | hurt/comfort | 1.2k ]

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀YEONKAI [ throuple ]

⠀⠀❕❕ heavily based on @biteyoubiteme's yeonkai x reader au ❕❕

˖ two sunshines ♡ reader and kai comfort yeonjun after a tiring week [ written | hurt/comfort | 0.9k ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ without me ♡ yeonjun and kai cuddle reader [ written | fluff | 0.5k ] ˖ marriage struggles ♡ managing poly relationship wasn't easy, especially with yeonjun's self-sacrifice tendencies [ written | angst and fluff | 0.9k ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ betrayal ♡ sometimes even the best relationship have betrayals (like yeonkai cooking ramyeon in the middle of the night without reader) [ written | fluff and humor | 1.2k ]

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀OT5 ˖ small and cute ♡ txt x reader who has a small chest [ written | reaction format | suggestive | 0.9k ]

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀SOOBIN ˖ all the work ♡ soobin shows reader that small boobies are just as good [ written | smut | 0.3k ]

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀YEONJUN ˖ not what you need ♡ yeonjun knows what you need better than you do [ written | suggestive hurt/comfort | 1.2k ] — ✦ ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ his favourite brat ♡ yeonjun is used to being surrounded by brats, but his baby was one of a kind [ written | smut | 1.4k ] — ✦ ˖ broken rules, mended hearts ♡ being fwb with yeonjun wasn't easy, because it was impossible not to catch feelings [ written | smut, angst, hurt/comfort | 14k ] — ✦

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀BEOMGYU ˖ be quiet ♡ watching beomgyu play league is always fun [ written | smut | 0.9k ]

⠀⠀✧⠀⠀TAEHYUN ⠀nothing yet

⠀⠀⠀⠀✧⠀⠀KAI ˖ mad & mean ♡ mad buff long haired kai. that's it [ written | smutty | 1.4k ] — ✦

⠀ ⠀⠀B I R T H D A Y　S E R I E S ˖ birthday bunny ♡ reader wakes soobin up on his birthday [ written | smut | 0.6k ] ⠀ ⠀⠀˖ birthday cat ♡ reader joins taehyun's morning workout on his birthday [ written | smut | 0.7k ]

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

WIP Wednesday

For my sanity and cause people have been asking... here's a wip of the Found Family Book Club fic I'm working on: ---

No sex for three weeks. 

“That’s part of the fun though, isn’t it dear?” The wicked spark in Stede’s eye told Ed that his goldenlocked husband had much more planned than just a simple “book club party”. 

For as long as Ed had known Stede, the eccentric blonde had been hosting weekly book club meetings at his ridiculously sized house with their “extended family”, also known as “The Revenge Crew”, also known as a bunch of Book Club Queers that Stede had somewhat adopted.

“You’re a proper fucking maniac, you know that?” Ed tied his just below shoulder length salt and pepper hair into a messy ponytail, staring down at the fancy Barnes & Nobles special edition of “Pride & Prejudice” planted on his lap. 

Ed propped himself up lengthwise on the bedroom loveseat, because, of course they had a love seat in their bedroom, what else would you expect of Stede Bonnet, executive of one of the biggest textile companies in the country? Stede, his gorgeous, talented, brilliant husband who was staring into the full length bronze framed mirror, trying desperately to get his curls to behave while they chatted. Spoilers, they never behaved. 

Calloused fingertips from years of hard labor and artwork traced the ornate raised edges of the book’s cover. He could appreciate good craftsmanship, it was pretty obvious just by the design that someone had really poured their soul into the silly cover. 

“Yeah, but babe, I thought you said no more romance novels.”

The yelp that escaped the blonde looking in the mirror left Ed grinning. 

Right on queue.

“Edward!” Stede’s voice cracked and went up an octave like it always did when he was offended. Fucking adorable bastard. “Take that back! Pride & Predjiduce is not a romance novel, it’s a CLASSIC! There’s a difference!” 

Ed raised his long lashes upward towards his husband’s now disgruntled, incredibly expressive face as he sat down at the end of the love seat where Ed’s bare toes wiggled playfully. 

Oh,  Ed knew that. Edward Teach knew a lot of things. Most of all, he knew that a little tease like that would get Stede’s blood moving, and it wouldn’t take much to entice his little goldfish into something a bit more romantic.

“I mean, yeah, Outlander’s technically not a romance novel either, it's a time traveling– fantasy–whatever, but we sure as hell won’t be reading ‘Dragonfly in Amber’ aloud with the group anytime soon now, will we?”

Stede blushed at the memory. His husband’s blushes weren’t just pink, they were splattered and chaotic– like someone’d dipped a wide headed brush in the softest of rose colored paint and dry brushed it across his nose and the tips of his ears.

Lucius and Pete had gotten pretty animated with their reenactment of some of the end scenes of the first Diana Gabaldon book, and Stede had to break them up once the various couple/throuples started getting handsy with each other.

The pure commotion that ensued from that night had left a very inebriated Ed at a level of laughter that just couldn’t be contained, which only worsened as Stede shoved frilly throw pillows in front of people’s crotches while shooing the hooping and wailing drunken friends out the door to their car-shares. 

Ed remembered it quite vividly given the state of his rum-hazed brain. Stede had stomped back into the house, rounding the corner from their entranceway, looking as dashing as always, if not mildly perturbed. He’d dusted off his hands as if he could wipe away the image of Pete quite literally trying to go down on Lucius’ through his pants, out of his mind. His eyes had locked with Ed’s, who tried to hold in the laugh, but instead exploded in a sonic boom of a gufaw. Rolling up his sleeves, Stede had trudged up to him with these piercing, fiery, “Oh you’re going to get it” eyes. Gods, watching the fabric rolling up those adonis sculpted forearms was enough to finally break him of his giggle fit, pleasantly satisfied in Stede making good on the promise his eyes had made.

10/10, no notes.

Best. Book. Club. Ever.

---

[sol-thorne]

I'm hyperfixating so here's a very random non exhaustive list of ina11 headcanons:

- Gouenji is actually brown haired and dyes his hair blonde to look cool (and because Yuuka told him it looked cool once)

- Endou is a trans boy who forgets to wash his binder, cuts his own hair (hence the chaotic hairdo) and does not care that his voice is higher pitched than most of his friends

- Kazemaru is a demiboy, uses he/they and redos his makeup after every training session

- Endou is audhd and dyslexic. He has the hardest time in class. Is grandpa is exactly the same (this is why they both have terrible handwriting)

- Kidou is autistic, very picky with food and ends up eating always the same stuff because he can't stand most textures. His adoptive dad forces him to eat everything so whenever he's away from home he sticks to rice

- Aki is bisexual but figures it out very late

- Sakuma got blind in his right eye as a kid in an accident and wears an eyepatch because he's edgy

- Tsunami cuts his own bangs. Also he didn't notice he was short-sighted until he stole Haruna's glasses for fun and suddenly nothing was blurry anymore

- Hiroto is anemic

- Everyone new assumes Endou is dating either Gouenji or Kidou. Everyone who does know them assumes they're in a throuple and everyone is aware but them

- Toramaru, Touko, Rika, Midorikawa and Fuyuka are trans

- Fubuki is genderfluid

- Aprhodi is a trans girl

- Hijikata and Kogure get along like a house on fire

- Fudou's white streaks in hs hair are from stress and using the meteorite too much in his days at Teikoku

- Sakuma developed a fear of penguins also after Teikoku

- Domon is insecure about his body type but tries not to let it show by being overconfident

- Everyone on the Raimon team had a crush on Endou at some point

- Tachimukai, Toramaru, Haruna and Hijikata are very good cooks

[wannaeatramyeon]

Gun x Reader x Goo Relationship hc

To my beloved 🌸 anon, who requested this and I accidentally deleted 🥴 Oh buddha have mercy. I really find it difficult to buy into the poly/throuple trope. Here goes..

To get the attention of these two maniacs, you need to be equally chaotic and strong in your own right.

Gun and Goo are both absolute thrill seekers, and if they have their sights set on you. Oh boy. Prepare for a wild ride.

The boys both know how they slot together, fitting their sharp pieces together to form some semblance of a whole. The biggest head scratcher is you.

Therefore it is absolutely imperative that you are able to hold your own with these two. Fighting, street smarts, book smarts, power or money. One of the above or all. It doesn't matter. You just need something to you. Otherwise you will drown.

Both prone to jealousy initially, and exhibiting in different ways.

Goo will cling all over you and demand every bit of your attention. You never really know if it's just to spite Gun or sincere.

Gun's silence is loud. His eyes ever watchful. He'll occasionally give you a very forthright remark and let you know that he thinks you're spending too much time with the other one.

It's an extremely thin line to toe. Good luck. But you better readjust, otherwise one of them will explode and it will result in a hospital trip.

Goo: loud and intense. Gun: quiet and intense. You will never have a moment of peace. Poor you, although you do only have yourself to blame. You did pick them yourself after all.

In addition to your own messages to them, there will 100% be a group chat for you three. Unfortunately most of the time that leads to the other two bickering.

And more often than not, Gun sending a voice mail threatening to strangle Goo.

Their infamy will rub off on you, even if you had a squeaky clean reputation before. But you think you would have anyone messing with you when you're flanked with Gun on your right and Goo on your left? Not unless they have zero self preservation.

Absolutely goes without saying you will be spoiled to high heavens. Everything and anything you could ever want would just be provided to you on a silver platter.

And despite all the headaches, is there anything better than waking up sandwiched between these two?

Or a quiet night in on the sofa with Gun's arm around you and Goo's head on your lap?

[wandasaura]

how did artist wanda and trainer nat meet yn? What is yn’s personality in this au, is she similar to duckling?

i definitely think that baby was at a couple of wanda’s showcases and became something of a friend first! because wanda decided to make a move! she and natasha weren’t an official couple yet, but they had been friends for years after meeting through their younger siblings and just kind of fell into a throuple with puppy in the most random chaotic way. so all their friends were like… what the fuck (hence call it what you want as the title) but eventually they just got used to it and they genuinely couldn’t picture wanda nor natasha in any other relationship. puppy’s like the friend group princess. she has her own protection squad and maria’s always trying to scare the fuck out of her but to no avail

[bramstr0k3r]

okay so I was thinking about what the world could’ve had if we were given a 12/clara/missy throuple moment. Like. the dynamics there would be insaneeeee and I Need to see that play out because it would be so chaotic but also fun and also that old man (gender neutral) would not have a Second of peace. I was inclined for a second to say they could rival the vamps (iwtv love…. how many fucking sides even does that need. I’ll say decagon to play it safe) but they never could tbh because twelve and clara would be deranged about each other and stop paying attention to missy for like a full three minutes and she’d be like “well, I can see when I’m not wanted. you two have fun” (genuinely and served with cunt as always) and then pop off to wherever. twelve and clara have not even noticed they’re too busy staring into each others eyes intensely. and then like three weeks later in teleports missy in the middle of a life threatening situation in like the most bizarre camp lingerie you’ve ever seen

[lexithwrites]

ok so follow up (sorry for asking so much T-T) 1. Remus x Regulus x James? 2. if not who would u put james with? 3. who would you put sirius with?

never apologise! i always welcome and encourage asks they really make me happy to see! oooo i honestly thought about that today and i can see it. i think regulus and james could have been in a long term relationship and then met remus and they both got scared because they both fancied him, then after communicating they decide to just,,,,see what he says. i feel like remus is the calm one of the three funnily enough, james is the most chaotic but regulus is the most like an angry cat and he just creates a soft, sweet barrier for them!

okay SO putting james with other people is interesting because ive been thinking a lot about remus/james/lily as a throuple and i really like that (remus and lily are the doms and james is the sub hehe)

but sirius is a tough one for me. its really hard to see him with anyone BUT remus, however james is a very good pick. i just see them being really close and hooking up when they're drunk together and not putting a label on it, plus effie and monty would be really accepting of them!