#aka the most chaotic throuple there ever was

[whentommymetalfie]

ooh can we see the Luca/Tommy/Alfie snippets you've written please?

I'm usually way too self conscious to post anything that isn't edited (which none of them are) but you know what, have this one to start, as a treat! ❤️ And again please bear in mind that this is just a rough, unedited draft with no beginning or end:

.....

The next morning, Alfie wakes first. During the night Tommy has somehow ended up on the other end of the bed, curled himself into a ball the way he so often does. Alfie resists the urge to pull him back into his arms. He can be considerate when he wants to, right, and Tommy, bless him, probably needs the sleep. Alfie can grant him that, even if he’s put himself in that situation. 

He gets up instead. Rubs his lower back as he ambles over to his wardrobe to get dressed. Already half past nine. Tommy moves a little. Alfie goes to his adjacent bathroom and starts filling the bath. He’s left sitting there staring at the water, yawning because thanks to Tommy there hasn’t been much sleep, has there, the little fiend. Once the bath is full, he returns to the bedroom. Finding Tommy right where he left him, he seats himself on the edge of the bed. Decides which spot to kiss and settles for his temple, right where the delicate cheekbone ends. Runs his fingers through Tommy’s hair.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” 

Tommy scrunches his face up and buries it in the pillow. Lets out a noise. Alfie scratches lightly over the back of his neck. 

“I’m thinking about a certain expression about when one’s made their bed.” 

“ ‘m fine.” 

“Sure you are.” 

Not without a struggle, Tommy sits up, wincing and then making a face. 

“Fuck, I feel disgusting.” 

Alfie at least gives him a sympathetic face because while it was Tommy himself who fell asleep before getting cleaned up, he’s still a gentleman. And he could have, technically, done it for him. If he wasn’t -on top of being a gentleman- a terrible bastard who enjoys the thought of Tommy sleeping with his come drying between his thighs.  

“Well there’s a bath waiting for you,” he says. Cradles the nape of Tommy’s neck and kisses his forehead again. “So why don’t you get yourself clean and comfortable while I make you breakfast?” 

He’s just setting the teapot on the table when Tommy comes downstairs, clad in a terrycloth robe, wrapped tightly around himself. Way too big, of course. 

They sit opposite each other, legs brushing under the table. Alfie reading the paper, Tommy having a smoke and occupied with a book. 

“So, that thing you told me last night,” Alfie says and can’t help the grin. “Have to say, it’s peaked my interest.” When he looks over the edge of the paper at Tommy, Tommy’s got a confused wrinkle between his eyebrows. Then he looks down at his book again. 

“Really.” 

Alfie smirks. “Tell me, sweetheart, have you per chance forgotten about that? Seeing as you were quite drunk.” 

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Tommy scoffs. 

“No? Could’ve fooled me. You were unusually vocal. You know, about certain wishes you might have…” 

 Tommy is trying very hard to appear at ease, he can tell. But his silence tells Alfie well enough that he’s trying to remember. 

“And I figured that perhaps now when Luca is coming, we could fulfil that fantasy of yours.” 

Tommy blinks and looks at him, patches of red climbing up nis neck. Alfie smirks at him. 

“I’d have to talk to him first. Think it over, of course. Because while I’m not one to deny you anything, I do worry that perhaps you’d… bite off more than you can chew, so to speak. We need to make sure you’re safe.” 

Tommy turns his attention back to his book, but his cheeks are flaming red now.  

“It’s not like you to be so shy, sweetheart. Nothing to be bashful about, is it? I’m glad you told me. Why else do I live, but to serve you?” 

“Shut up, Alfie,” Tommy mutters, and Alfie leaves him be. But he’s already making plans. 

…

As it so happens, Luca calls from his suite at the Savoy. 

“A little bird whispered in my ear that Tommy is staying with you.”

“Which well informed little bird was that, hm?”

Luca chuckles. “Tommy answered my telegram. Told me he’d be in London. I figured the rest out. Is he there now?”

“No, now when you mention it, I’m not entirely sure where he’s run off to.” 

To the docks outside the bakery to oversee a shipment.

“You don’t have any of your men watching him?” 

Three. 

Alfie chuckles. “Mate, have you met Tommy?” 

“You’re just letting him run loose? Anything could happen.”

“Calm down, this is my city, innit. Tommy’s safe.”

“Perhaps as long as he stays on your corner of it.” 

“Please, everything north of the Thames is hardly a fucking corner.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that.” 

Alfie waves a hand in a dismissive gesture even if Luca can’t see him. “We’ll discuss that later. I’m taking Tommy out to dinner tonight. Seven thirty, the Ritz. And if things… happen to go in a certain direction afterwards, perhaps we’ll take the drinks afterwards at my place.” 

Luca hums. 

“And, as it so happens, Tommy shared a little something with me, which you might be interested in hearing.”

“I’m listening.” 

And Alfie tells him. Luca’s interest is peaked to say the least, although he's not without concerns.

“But couldn’t it be… painful?”  

“I suppose.” Alfie leans back in his seat. Strokes his beard. “Well, it’ll be intense, that’s for sure, perhaps a bit more than he’s counted on. But we’d make sure he’s safe. If it’s something you’d be interested in.” 

“Anything for our Tommy.” And Alfie can tell that he’s got that infuriatingly smug half smirk on his face, but he doesn’t really mind.

…

Tommy is eating soup. Or, barely eating soup. He’s got one of those streaks when nothing seems appetizing, Alfie’s noticed, even if he hasn’t pointed it out. Doesn’t want to sour the mood, not when he’s got a very particular direction in which he hopes this evening will progress. Alfie meanwhile eats a roast leg of lamb, quite aptly made. Tries to tempt Tommy with a bite or two without any success. He’s sat turned slightly towards the room, they’re in a secluded corner of the restaurant, and he’s given Tommy the seat closest to the wall, naturally, as the gentleman he is. And still, Alfie’s the one who catches sight of Luca first as he enters. The waitor nods in direction of their table and Luca moves with his usual suave elegance through the room. Catches Alfie’s eye right away and alright, perhaps he feels a little spark of something when he smiles. Luca makes for a striking sight, that’s just an objective fact and unrelated to any feelings Alfie may or may not have on the matter. 

Tommy notices, of course, quirks an eyebrow but doesn’t turn to look. 

“I’m getting concerned with the quality of this establishment. Apparently they let anyone in these days,” Alfie says when Luca is within earshot, gaining an eyeroll. Tommy’s reaction is the sweetest thing he’s ever seen, for lack of better words. He lights up, eyes glimmering, and when Luca opens his arms in greeting he gets out of his seat and falls into them. Luca wraps him in a tight embrace, holding on for as long as he dares to. Even in this secluded corner, it’s still a public place. Then again they could just be dear old friends reunited after a long absence. 

“I thought you weren’t getting here until tomorrow.”

“Well, I might have wanted to surprise you a little.” 

Luca brushes his hand gently across his cheek. Tommy looks up at him, expression uncharacteristically open, lashes fluttering and cheeks gone a lovely shade of pink. 

“Get a room you two,” Alfie says and hides his smile behind the wineglass. How can he not smile when Tommy looks like that. 

“If you’re not careful, I might,” Luca says. “And I think you in particular be quite disappointed with that development. But I do think that Tommy should finish his dinner.” With a hand lightly on his lower back he leads Tommy back to his seat next to Alfie, pulling his chair out. His hand lingers on the back of his neck for just a moment. 

“Better get you a chair, then,” Alfie says and a quick wave in their waiter’s direction is enough to summon both him and a chair. 

“Can I get you anything, Sir?” 

“A glass of Barolo.” He scans the menu. “And I suppose I could stomach the steak.”  

The waiter removes himself with a polite smile. Luca huffs. 

“God the food options of this country is truly something I have not missed.” 

“Yeah, well we’re happy you’ve decided to grace our shit country with your presence.” Alfie knocks his leg lightly against Luca’s under the table. But then he lets a hand slip down to  gently grip around his knee. Luca smiles faintly. Reaches to take the hand and give it a brief squeeze. 

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[daily-selfship-questions]

i heard im allowed to rant about my f/o's here, so... i hope you dont mind!! ive just been thinking about runaan and ethari from tdp for like a few days now, and i have a whole self insert too! and i just keep on thinking about them as a throuple, and i think they would (for the most part) have the most delicate relationship ever, in a good way. now imagine being an almost deity type character who has mastered all primal sources and as soon as someone mentions your husbands you're all but a blushing mess. or when your assassin husband gets jealous because you went out on a mission with him but then the enemies kept on gawking. OR when your blacksmith (aka your other husband!!) makes you matching necklaces and kisses your horns (they're elves, thats why!!) i have SO much to say about them MY GOSH asudsd if you see this and bother to read this, THANK YOU <3 have a great day

You absolutely can rant about your F/Os!!😊 I've never heard of them before or the media that they're from, but from what you've said they sound like quite the bunch to be spending your time around!! Something is so sweet about really powerful ones getting all very soft and having a very clear weak spot for their loves haha! Absolutely wishing you a very splendidly merry time with your husbands!! Throuples can create such fun or chaotic sorts of dynamics, always a box of chocolates with those.