#the more i look the more i hate it ugh
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crashgate, 2008 // René Magritte, La Clairvoyance, 1936
richard siken / flavio briatore & bernie ecclestone, 2008 / 2006 japanese grand prix / 2008 singapore grand prix / religion / 2008 japanese grand prix / we move on again / flavio's race radios / piquet's side / 2008 german grand prix / angelic tongues / flavio's letter to piquet sr. / 2008 spanish grand prix / he's always been a nice boss / exit strategy / found innocent / nothing to prove
#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#nelson piquet jr#flavio briatore#flavnando#the flavnando collection#claire's edits#bbys first proper web weave?#no idea if the mark one counts#anywAY THIS was fun#messy and terrible but fun#the more i look the more i hate it ugh#it's okay. enjoy i guess
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Putting my silly, grubby hands all over a stupid shirt I saw
#the adventure zone#taz#taz ethersea#ethersea#amber gris#zoox anthellae#devo la main#MY HANDWRITING IS SO ASS… I JUST REALIZED THE SMALL TEXT LOOKS LIKE ‘GOES FISTING’ 😭😭😭😭#based on a lowkey wife-hating boomer shirt I saw that said ‘I love it when my wife lets me go golfing’#which isnt explicitly wife-hating (low bar to clear) but still reeks of the ball and chain / hag wife vibe that made me go ugh.#I was considering having the text still be ‘lets me go’ but the vibe I got from the shirt was SO ‘My wife is my ball and chain’ so I changed#it to be more appreciating spending time with your partners. i mean why WOULDNT they go fish together?!
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blood, blood, blood, pump mud through my veins 🩸
#dark urge#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanart#bg3 durge#bg3 bhaalspawn#have you ever had a throwaway character you didn’t plan on obsessing over#bc u went full evil with that character#i cannot stop thinking about her#i wanted to go full control with gortash and then the brain just 🧍#i’ll replay her a little bit more tame and a little bit less evil#bc while the game made playing evil fun#it also took a lot of quests away obviously lmao#the line is from in this moment’s blood#also artwise - i’m trying to find a balance between things looking good and leaving them unfinished#procreate#zazrichart#i hate how nasty gla/ze and night/shade look on some of my paintings#but we need it ugh 🗡️
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some KoD/Spirealm sketches
#the spirealm#kaleidoscope of death#致命游戏#死亡万花筒#lin qiushi#ruan nanzhu#ruan baijie#nanqiu#danmei tag#bl tag#userpharawee#I'm still slowly watching my way through the show after finishing the novel a while ago#I do enjoy them both so I wanted to idk mush them together a bit ig#mostly I just wanted to draw ruan baijie lol can you blame me#ALSO. sorry about the obnoxious watermark ... there was one incident too many recently and idk man#I've been thinking about making it more obvious where to find my art#for when it inevitably gets reposted somewhere#but I hate the way this looks so I'll ... keep experimenting I guess#ugh.#art thieves. the bane of my online existence honestly
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#earn sanitada#orm kornnaphat#tsou#the secret of us#the secret of us the series#oh the kicked puppy look#i actually really like this look#not only the disheveled look because [twirls hair]#(okay why is she so attractive here Idk why)#but I'm saying is I love that Earn having more mode than just the super energetic puppy mode#she's so bubbly chirpy oui oui all the time#I'd love to see more sides of her when she has to face reality that ugh perhaps things kinda sucks sometimes#and her being upset is a strange concept for HER#that makes her more human#I love the idea that she ruminates over her action#perhaps she feels bad for reacting that strongly toward Ratee and she's like 'that isnt like me'#or perhaps she's the kind who takes major hit when she found out that people hate her sometimes#Idk but the idea of Earn ruminating over these things is nice#she's defo a deeply deeply flawed character and I want to see her reflecting on herself
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Wanted to design the deities in my story Starchild! So here they are! At least some concepts, things are bound to change :)
(Some lore):
First we have Sol and Luna, the creators of the world and husband and wife. They love each other and the world, but their heavenly bodies are the actual Sun and moon, and cannot see each other. Sol spends all his time keeping the world thriving with his heat, while Luna creates the tides and provide light in the darkness. The only time when they can see each other is during and eclipse, which is when every job the gods do is dropped. For the humans, it lasts for a few minutes, where there’s no heat, no wind, no nothing. It’s a dangerous time for humans but luckily it doesn’t last long. Meanwhile, for the gods, it lasts for a full day. Sol and Luna spend time, the gods have a feast and meeting, and they reconnect, which is fun since some of them hate each other! This is also when a starchild is created (not born yet, but they will be).
Next is Astor, who is the Stargod. His mission is to watch over the starchildren that Sol and Alina create. All the gods and goddesses are Sol and Luna’s children, but some wonder if Astor is their “biological” child. When you think about stars, there’s so many and are so far away. Is he different from the two? Different from the rest of his siblings? Who knows
Then there’s the rest of the gods, who in order, we’re created. Aether, the god of air who loves flying around the place. Terra, the goddess of earth who prefers to sleep all day. Palegia, the goddess of water who ruled the oceans with an iron fist. Agnes and Atticus who are the god and goddess of life, each one covering a different part of life (which is why Atticus has a wolf form, so he can connect with the animals. Animals have their own kingdoms after all). Then Hel and Mortuus, the god and goddess of death. They’re the most mysterious and unknown gods, so much so that no one has ever seen what they look like under the cloaks. If one were to see their true nature, they die.
They won’t have an enormous role save for Astor, but they are there, and are important in the world.
#Terra and Aether hate each other#spot the villain challenge#ocs#original characters#starchild#finally they’re done UGH#I redesigned Astor a bit#made him more spacey#instead of a regular eye it’s a nebula cuz those look like eyes#but idk how well it comes across
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Shirts (stolen) made by Catarina Devon for the Og BB pirates 😇
(Dawg I cannot draw hands or buff men so...sorry Burgess 💀🙏)
#Blackbeard Pirates#Van Augur#Doc Q#Laffitte#Jesus Burgess#Laffitte's does not like his shirt#IWIHSJSH UGH I HATE THE WAY I DREW DOC Q#at least he looks more like a failed abortion now
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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that godforsaken drawing on the right was so hard and took me so long I might never color it so here you go
#Sol says they’re going to kill him. Karamatsu says he doubts that#his stupid outfit was so hard to draw i swear im never doing it again .#sketch took me like 3 days and 4 tries and this lineart took me like two days or so#they’re so fucking. ugh#Sol is a vampire Hunter for reasons that I talked about in another post and I like to think that karamatsu was just another random target#but uhm obviously things did not go as planned#I have more ideas for this AU but I never wanna look at his overcomplicated vampire outfit ever again#they hate each other. It’s awesome.#my art#ososan#karamatsu#vamp au#solkara#sol ososan#self insert#karamatsu matsuno#osmt#hesokuri wars#vampirematsu#i’m gonna self reblog this one like a bunch because yall don’t understand the pain that I went through trying to draw that stupid pose
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#I really hope 2025 is the year that I can let go of and leave behind all the people that fucking ruined and took advantage of me#and that I don’t even think about them anymore. I just want this shit to stop haunting me.#she doesn’t give a fuck about me and never did. but it still fucking hurts.#and I just keep ripping old wounds open because I’m always thinking about her but I know I don’t even cross her mind#especially not with how easily she just fucking discarded me once I’d served my purpose to her.#fucking almost 10 goddamn years literally fucking thrown away and looking back I realize all the shit I should’ve left over before#and just let her ruin her own life instead of taking me along for the ride and fucking me and my life up more in the process#I hope she fucking rots. I hope BOTH of them fucking rot actually. I fucking hate them for what they did#lying to me so id move in with them and then pulling all the shit they did so I’d stay only long enough to be beneficial for them.#fucking entitled cunts. fuck.#at least I’ve found a new bestie that isn’t a fucking asshole to replace the one that was#I’m so thankful for her but still so angry and upset with how I was tossed aside by the old one because of her insecure ass fucking fiancée#ugh. anyways. I’m gonna shut up now.#I just needed to vent for a second. I’m hoping this helps me detach more and leave that shit behind.
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Realized this while playing Birushana. Tomomori. You know.
#birushana#birushana rising flower of genpei#otome#wizardess heart#shall we date#blanking on what other morally controversial otome games ive played#but seriously that trope of “im lowkey obsessed with the heroine and even seeing the hate in her eyes as she looks at me is perfect.”#to “i would love to see what other expressions i could bring her to make-”#ALL the way to the final installment of “oh. when she smiles.. when shes happy.. and looks at me with such happiness?#that is the best expression she has ever made. she looks beautiful like that... everything else pales in comparison- no.#i actually dont care to see her tears or to have her look at me in anger ever again.“#and just. falling in love with her happiness and doing everything they can to make her smile and laugh among other things??#because they feel really good doing it??#sorry i know thats common with villain love interests but im REALLY a sucker for it okay i cant help it#but also no seriously what other games like this have i played again?? i havent played any of the villain routes in hakuouki yet#but i feel like this trope is probably in there so.#hakuouki#JUST THE LOOK OF SURPRISE ON THE LOVE INTEREST'S FACE WHEN THEY SEE THE PROTAG SMILE AT THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME#AFTER ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SHOWING FEAR OR HATE#I LOVE IT AAUUUGHHH#oh!! thats right!#steam prison#paradigm paradox#piofiore#BECAUSE YANG I FUVKING LOVE YANG EVEN THOUGH HES AWFUL UGH#even if tempest#ill tag that in here too bc Tyril was that way for a hot second in the beginning of his route/timeline when he was first meeting Anastasia#i definitely know theres more but damn#anyway#we support character development in this house
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horrible, stupid country
#just found out . i hate it hear#want to smash all the trump signs in my neighboorhood and scream at ppl fr#i mean. they arent that responsible bc i live in mn and it was gonna be blue no matter what#but look. i still voted. and it still counted towards the popular vote#and these bitches votes ended up in the popular vote#and LOOK at that discrepancy#im just so mad. i cant imagine what goes on in their heads to choose him#ik its probably mostly bc kamala is black and asian and a woman.#which is so. ugh#like theyre really more scarwd of having a presendent who looks different than a presedent who thinks dictatorships are admirable#i hate this shit ass country
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Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
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okay im still on my rat grinders/kipperlilly redemption arc bullshit tho. like, jace and porter have been evil since freshman year, they targeted those kids, manipulated them and promised them easy leveling.
plus, brennan makes it very clear that the rat grinders only became obsessed with revenge after they were brought back wrong. when the bad kids find jace's texts about not antagonizing them, brennan makes it clear that all those texts came after spring break.
my question is: did the rat grinders know they'd be killed? did they agree to it? ruben, in his puka shell necklace, was scared when he went to the clearing. when he went to his death. they've essentially formed a cult dedicated to their teacher who has heretical goddamn aspirations. how high control is the group? who's the leader among the rat grinders themselves? i still have so many questionssss
#look. the rat grinders evil plan being so incredibly complicated and dramatic has only made me love them more ngl#like you give me??? noted jason todd apologist a came back wrong narrative?? and i am going to go insane about it#this last episode..... ough#like are the rat grinders to some extent looking for revenge because oisin had a connection to kalvaxus?#did oisin notice manipulate kipperlilly's outlook on the situation because she already thought things were unfair#like no no we don't hate them because they killed the friend of my great great great grandma#we hate them because they had an unfair advantage in that fight?#ugh i don't knowwww but specifically ivy and oisin feel like shit stirrers to me at this point#i just. NEED to know their dynamics#it feels like kipperlilly's 'in charge' but oisin and ivy are pulling the strings#rat grinders#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#kipperlilly copperkettle#oisin hakinvar#ruben hopclap
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#my art#trans#side note: following tags are a pretty long thought dump#ugh okay i'm going to be honest#i didn't know anything about predstrogen until she was banned and many people started talking about her#also looked through photomatt's blog very briefly#to me he sounds callous- if that's the right word. he just didn't seem to care about what happened to predstrogen prior to her being banned#also? car with hammers that explodes multiple times feels far from being a serious death threat to me#yes predstrogen explicitly mentioned death wishes#but i don't know. what she said is more cartoonish than serious#also something i noticed from photomatt: where is the evidence that predstrogen threatened other users?#i haven't been looking into all this that deeply#but that photomatt stating that as part of the reason for predstrogen's ban and then not elaborating is. weird. for lack of better words#on a slightly different note: i love tumblr and how i can be my silly queer self and nobody cares#but if we don't stand up for each other — especially those who are constant targets for harrassment and other crappy things#tumblr will eventually die or bear no resemblance to the site i enjoy so much#maybe i'm privileged! being a trans masc guy#or maybe i'm ignorant#but i guess i have a tendency to say a lot. and i hate staying silent when i have the opportunity to speak out#so i'm going to scream#and i hope y'all are going to speak in support of trans women too
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friendship is so cool u guys. i think ab my best friend and my little heart explodes into a million billion golden fragments of light in my chest
#i just want to wrangle the laws of reality into place so that they can have everything they ever want#alex is asleep so i’m being sappy once more#ugh i hate being vulnerable#no one look at me#on friendship#personal
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