#the monologue is still going by the way jesus fucking christ

[vigilantdesert]

While I wait for this interminable fucking monologue to end, it's as good a time as ever to explain why I have complicated feelings about Gan as a character.

I could go on about how big, endtimes bringer villains don't do it for me like they used to and that's mostly a problem of my age, and that's true. But Gan is campy enough that that wouldn't be a problem, except...

I have two problems holding me back from loving gan the way a lot of my gerudo scholar contemporaries do. For one, I'm intimately familiar with the tribe and just genuinely prefer the company of everyone who isn't him. There's other campy Gerudo, there's comic relief Gerudo, there's Gerudo who are actually so cool, will you give me an autograph ms. seal-champion? I'm spoiled for choice and, since I didn't really get into the fandom until breath of the wild, there's never been a point at which I was chained to him for any Gerudo representation.

The other issue, and this is the one that drives my sarcasm, is that, well, Zegend of Lelda is a video game franchise. Ganon fights, and very specficially Ganondorf fights, have a terrible history of being... Well, not necessarily hard (if you have the right preparation) but just exhaustively irritating. I think my first battle against him in Ocarina of Time took a half hour, but most of it was wrangling the controls and waiting for openings. In four swords adventure, same story, I just had to wait for Zelda to charge up. Now I'm dancing with a bunch of phantoms who have hit me twice (2) and that was AFTER the extended game of hide-and-seek. This is all to say that, whenever I'm dealing with the bastard, I end up more annoyed than anything else, and that's how we get sarcastic Marie.

Again, I love what the fandom has done with him and, if I'm not having to actively engage him in combat, he's an excellent villain! Love to read about him! Will never have any interest in writing him beyond as a tertiary fic character, and that's how the Gerudo multimuse ended up having everyone except the one people think of on it.

[freyito]

Can you do Smoke and Reptile, sfw, them burying their face in readers boobs, using them as a pillow and how they’d react to reader to reader doing it back to them? You could do somthing suggestive.

I'm curious also, besides Kenshi and Kuai Liang who else are you a fan of?

imma be honest anon, this is such a fire idea. when i was at this a7x concert me and my friend saw a guy with double ds. like. BODACIOUS bro. that was the first thing our eyes went to. he looked like jesus christ brother. he spoke like he had a message from the gods.

anyways. to answer your question. sentimentally i'm very attached to Kitana and Scorpion in general, i played Kitana when mk9 came out (i was 7, my dad let me play mk when i was SEVEN) and my dad played Scorpion and i always got my ass handed to me. but he worked a lot and playing mk9 was the only time we really got together when i was a kid. with mk1, we've been able to play a lot more together and it reminds me of those times, it's really fun. now i win about half the matches we play, but i just don't play Kitana anymore. i really do prefer Kenshi.

I am actually married to Johnny Cage and Kenshi, soooo Also, to be honest, the first characters to draw me into Mk1 were Smoke & Sub-Zero. Hadn't really been a big Sub-Zero fan beforehand, not of Bi-Han or Kuai Liang. So it was fun having that revelation. And Tomas is just super cute, I actually love that he's Czech. We're not the same, but hey, we're atleast both slavic. I dont know why, I just love finding Slavic characters cause more often then not I end up relating to them. Sorry for the monologue, anon. Here's your boob request :P

cw: gn reader cause everyone can have boobs brother, bonus character!, proofread

"ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴘɪʟʟᴏᴡꜱ" || ᴛᴏᴍᴀꜱ & ꜱʏᴢᴏᴛʜ

-Tomas Vrbada

Tomas loves nothing more at the end of the day than getting to bury his face in your chest. As long as you two are in private, he'll wiggle his way into you somehow.

Half the time you two have together, he's face down in your chest, it is a regular occurrence and will stay a regular occurrence.

Does he do anything other than that? No. He's planking. He's in love, man, you can't blame him.

So, when you find him laying on the bed that one fateful night, defenseless, you give him the same treatment. You climb onto the bed, and slink your way into his arms.

He reaches out for you absent-mindedly, running his hands through your hair. Then you strike. You plank right into HIS boobs. He hasn't even registered yet. But you understand why he does it to you. Even if you can't breathe, it's somehow euphoric.

Tomas pauses, looks down at you. And his face flushes. You can feel his body temperature rise. He doesn't know how to react, he's been caught in just an inconvenient situaton.

He doesn't complain, though. He's just flustered. Real flustered. He holds you close after he can find his composure, still unsure but grateful of your touch.

-Syzoth

Syzoth almost always makes a dive for your chest when you two are cuddling. He'll be tangled up with you- quite literally, the man really enjoys being as close as possible- and still find a way to bury his head into your chest.

Doesn't matter how much you dodge out of it, he's going to wrap himself around you and find your chest somehow, someway.

But, he thinks he's free of this torment. He gets to lay his head in your chest, and run off freely. He does it when you two nap, when you cuddle, wherever, whenever.

You find him one night, after a long day and seize your chance. And your boyfriends boobies. Without a second chance you throw yourself at Syzoth, aiming directly for his chest.

You can see him realize in that moment what's happening. And you can see the exact look of 'awh fuck', almost as if in slow motion. And when you finally get to lay your head onto his sweet, sweet, pillows, he gives up right then and there.

Syzoth accepts the love, completely. He might act all pouty because you robbed him of his favorite thing to do, but secretly he loves it. You can almost hear him purr.

-Bonus Points! Bi-Han

Bi-Han doesn't really find himself buried in your chest too often. Mainly because he feels like he's controlled for that. He's thought about it, but refuses to do it.

But let's be honest, how can you not shove your face in his tits? They're massive, H cups AT LEAST. So you stalk your boyfriend, until you can find a private moment between you two.

He doesn't know your game, but he does know you've been following him. He's not annoyed, he's simply confused as to why you won't directly approach him.

So, when you ambush him, he's only slightly prepared. You go straight for his boobs. And you land directly in between them. Silence washes over you two.

Bi-Han doesn't understand. Part of him doesn't want to. So he simply wraps his arms gently around your waist and pulls you closer. He kind of thinks you're in need of comfort.

© freyito, 2023 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS

[extremefrogrefrigerator]

all of the characters in interview with the vampire (2022) are so complex and are all subjected to such wild experiences but jesus CHRIST imagine being louis de pointe du lac's sister. the story starts out and your brother louis has a sketchy fucking job but you let it slide because Hey At Least He's Supporting The Family. and then one day he's like hey i have a new friend and you're like who is he and he's like French Individual. which of course is disappointing but hey! let's invite this french man over to dinner whats the worst that could happen. and turns out that the worst that could happen is mr oui oui cuntatron 9000 with his his little ponytail acting as if he has 47 large sticks shoved up his anal cavity bashing your Other brother about religion in a passionate monologue about how much he hates god and also he's not eating anything? Whatever it's your wedding day soon!! so your wedding day happens and it's banger, tap dancing and shit, but womp womp the next day your other brother Tragically dies but hey at least you've still got louis! JUST KIDDING during the vigil this blonde french fagatron tiddles and toddles up to your brother and he's like "we fucked last night why did you ghost me" to him and of course you don't have the capability to process this at the moment in your grief so you're like Whatever! but then on the night of said vigil louis proceeds to fuck off for several months where did he go? good lord how worrying. but then luckily he fucks back into the picture several months later when you host a little party! but he's got that blonde french fuckhead with him, who insults the banjo band you have in your front yard and is wearing a stupid little had but whatever! louis come inside please it's been forever. and also louis is wearing these little fucking sunglasses now so youre like Take those off what the fuck are those. and his eyes are all fucked up and Not Normal but you're like Whatever! and then he's like You Are Going To Have Twins and you're like What and he's like You Are Going To Have Twins It Will Happen ! and you're like I heard you the first time What and then he fucks off again with the blonde guy . but then turns out that you DO fucking give birth to fucking twins. you see louis and his gay ass sunglasses a few more times over the years but for the most part he's absent and also kicks your door down that one time with like. Way too much strength for a human being and also you've been hearing rumors on the town that your brother and The Worst Blonde Individual Known To Man are fagging it up homosexual style in their shared one-bedroom townhouse and and also why do you only ever see him at night? and you're not quite sure what Is Fucking Wrong with him so you think it over and you're like Hey I Think We Have To Disown This Guy .i know just how to do it let's put his gravestone in a graveyard and "bury" him and have an epic Surprise Grave Reveal when he comes over! because like what else can you do?? and then you never ever see him again . also it's like 1910

[natigail]

"I figured hey, if I'm here, I might as well be honest with myself. So I dug into the archives. And I found teenage Dan. Do you remember HELLO INTERNET? There I was, eighteen years old, your average caucasian British boy with your problematic vocabulary, just wanting so desperately to be liked. I then saw myself age twenty, as a student. Not that I was actually studying anything other than the male anatomy. I had no plan. No prospects. I was in desperate need of a haircut. Jesus Christ. No, look, that was not a hairstyle. It was geometry. My hair was a square. I then saw myself age twenty-two as an adult, just trying to make my way in the world, taking any job that I could, no matter how inauthentic or degrading. And look. I don't hate these past versions of myself, alright? Apart from the square one, it can get in the fucking bin. Mainly, I just feel sorry that it took them so long to work out who they are. I then stumbled across the video titled Existential Crisis. In which I utter the optimistic nihilistic epithet: 'embrace the void and have the courage to exist'. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist. It sounded nice when I said it but for some reason it just didn't hit. I had accepted the absurdity of the world but at that time, I hadn't accepted myself. Looking back at it, it finally clicked. Anyone who has suffered with depression or any kind of trauma that seriously affects your self-worth hopes that one day you're going to have this sudden revelation and then everything is fine. I had my revelation alright. I am unapologetically gay! Don't know if you hadn't picked up on that, so far in the show. But just having this revelation did not immediately fix all of my problems, because I still feel that inherent burnt-on brand that I am wrong. And that doesn't just go away. No, I know what my problem is, alright. My problem I am always living for the future. Every day I am thinking about this dream future where all of my dreams have come true and all of my problem have gone and everything's fine. And so, every day in the present of my life can be this joyless unrelenting grind towards that future. But it's okay. It's going to come any day now, right? Learning to look yourself in the mirror and being honest about what you've been through and keep living in spite of that can be hard. It takes a long time and a relentless persistent resistance against the way that you've been trained to feel by the world. But that doesn't just mean you should give up. Because, sure, sometimes in life, you may feel trapped. I felt trapped by my sexuality. You could feel trapped by your culture or your community. Hell, you could be literally trapped in an elevator but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to get out. 'cause, sure, when I look at the state of the world, I am very tempted to just go: You know what - we're all doomed. But that isn't courageous. That is cowardly. It's the easy way out. Even if it is, as I hope you'd all agree, a really fucking cool name for a show. So that's the thing. You can either say to yourself, every day is just a discontent emoji or you can find the courage to force your inner smiling cowboy hat, ye-motherfucking-haw! And just try to find in everyday life. Which is why I made this show. So I'm not living in the future but I'm just right here, right now, with you, just trying to have one good night. And look. Hey. Who knows, huh? We may all be doomed. Death may be inevitable. But first, we get to live. Life might at times be a struggle but just being here, to put one foot in front of the other every day is living. So please, do not let the doom drag you down. You are important. You matter. Please, stay hopeful for the future. Appreciate life. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist." - Dan Howell, closing monologue of his show "we're all doomed" (2022-2024)

[hannahssimblr]

“You know what I could be doing instead of this?” Joe says. “Lying out on the grass with a can of cold cider and a big, fat blunt.”

“Yeah? On the other hand, you could be getting the shit kicked out of you.”

“By who?”

I shove a sudsy plate into his hands, and he scrubs it half-heartedly with a damp towel. “By me. If you don't cooperate.”

He snickers, “I could take you, Turner.”

“Why does everyone say that to me?” I wonder, dunking another mug into the kitchen sink and scrubbing the crust off the bottom. “Lads always yap on to me about how they’d beat me in a fight.”

“It’s wishful thinking.” Shane pipes up, slapping a mop about the floor, and thrusting it under the furniture with about as much enthusiasm as a drive through worker. “Because of your size. Everyone wants to be the lad who took down the big guy.”

“Well, I’m a peaceful person.”

“Right.” 

“What’s all this for anyway?” Joe grumbles. “We were fine with the house the way it was. Like, cleaning is such a waste of time. A waste of summer.” 

“Get over yourself,” I advise him. “Wrong cupboard, by the way. The glasses go in the one on the end.”

“Oh, sorry Hitler.”

“It is for the girl,” Kasper says. He is tying up yet another bag of rubbish. It jangles with aluminium cans. “Butt shorts.”

I glance over my shoulder at him. “Butt shorts?”

“Yeah, man, that’s what we call your friend Evie,” says Joe. “It’s ‘cause she’s always got those shorts on, and you can kinda see the crease of her arse cheeks in them.”

“Bit of a fucked up way to refer to a girl, do you not think?” I take another mug from the precarious pile. 

“No. Why? It’s just facts.”

“Mm?”

“I’m not saying I don’t like the shorts, man. I think any girl who has a pair of legs like that ought to wear them. More girls should, as long as they have the body for it, you know?”

I fling the mug at him and he examines it. “You missed a bit there at the bottom.” I snatch it back. 

“Are you ridin’ her?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Evie, like. Are you ridin’ her?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Do you think you will ride her? Like, at some stage in the future?”

I’m aware of Shane’s judgemental mopping in the background. “Like I said, it’s not like that. I’m not interested.”

“Right!” I pass Joe the mug and he polishes it thoughtfully. “Do you think she’d like me, then? Will you ask her?”

“No.”

“Aw, what? I thought if you didn’t fancy her, you’d at least set me up with her.”

“She wouldn’t like you.”

“She would! Girls love me, sure. Back in school they couldn’t get enough of my sexy bod.” He rolls his sleeve over his sunburned bicep and flexes it while Kasper wolf-whistles. Joe swings his hips in a circle while spinning the towel above his head to his friend's rapturous applause. I roll my eyes.

“You tell Evie that I know how to take care of a woman. She’d be a lucky girl to get a chance with Joe Roche.”

“Look, Joe–”

“A girl like that is wasted on someone like you. You think you can be picky, but you’re too picky for your own good. Well, I’ll tell you what I’d do to her…” 

He launches into a monologue, outlining things too vulgar to be said out loud around normal and respectable folk, but are somehow perfectly acceptable to say to me. He goes into specific detail about her legs, her lovely long legs, and the positions he’d like to put them while I scrub at a plate so hard that my hand starts cramping. 

“Jesus Christ, Joe.” I whirl on him, and the plate, still in my hands, slips, and shatters on the floor, sending shards of porcelain and blobs of soap flying in all directions. I falter, startled by the violence of it. He shuts up. The mop stops. The bin bags stop rustling. 

“Fuck sake, what is wrong with you? Why do you think everyone wants to hear your weird, perverted thoughts all of the time?”

He cowers against the draining board. “I thought you said you were a peaceful person.”

“Do you want to fight me?”

He makes a tiny sound, and I stomp further into his space. “Do you?”

“No.”

“Alright, then learn to shut the fuck up.” 

“Sorry.” 

“And don’t say that type of shit in front of me again.”

I spin back to the sink and scrub the cutlery at the bottom, hands trembling and shoes crunching on the shattered porcelain, while everyone completes their chores in complete silence. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[chaseadrian]

if you can only pretend

day 6. phone sex // [kinktober masterlist] Hard to say exactly how much you miss Steve while he's away on business. Still, you'll find a way to show him.

pairing. steve harrington/f!reader wc. 1k tags. 18+ ONLY, established relationship, phone sex, dirty talk, a bit o fluff, masturbation

You started on your stomach, the phone pulled from its stand, wire uncoiled as you twirled it around your finger. It was cliche and cheesy, but then, so was the way Steve spoke to you on the other end. 

“You miss me, beautiful?” He asks, stranded at some conference in Indianapolis for the video store. Who knew video stores had conferences? Or that Steve was good enough at his job to be invited? 

“What do you think?” You reply, flipping over to stare at the ceiling, knees pulled up and legs crossed one over the other. Your pajama shirt slides down your thighs, and the quiet hum of consideration from Steve has goosebumps rising on the skin. 

“Well, I don’t know.” You can sense him skirting around a question, can see the kick of his lip as he holds back a smile, his breath a little short. 

“Mm, you alone in that hotel room?” Grazing your nails over the top of your thighs, you close your eyes and pretend they’re Steve’s. 

“Got it all to myself, Robin complained about my snoring, smiled at the general manager, and he got her the hookup. I don’t think she knew what she was doing, but, never know with her.” He loses the plot for a moment before reorienting, “Point is, yes, the room is all mine.” 

“Not the only thing that’s all yours.” You chuckle as a punctuation to the statement, an incredulous, sarcastic laugh that goes over Steve’s head and has him falling over his heels. 

“That right?” He’s self satisfied, and you hum an affirmative before he continues, “So how much was it that you missed me?” 

You slip your fingers under the hem of your underwear, drawing your moan into your throat and instead letting out a deep, shaking sigh, “I don’t have the words, but I can still articulate it, if you want.” 

There’s the quiet clatter of a belt buckle on the other end before Steve says, “Jesus Christ, yes.” 

You laugh again, slipping your middle finger between your lips, slicking it up to circle around your clit. You moan into the receiver, playing it up just a little, and he starts spilling soliloquies without you even asking. 

“Fuck, shit,” He whispers, “Wish I was there. Wish it was your mouth around me instead, fuck,” Laughs intercede the monologue, “Hard to go back to my hand when you wrap around me so nice. N—nothing compares, fuck, I swear on God and Jesus and Magnum PI himself that I will never go to another one of these damn conferences.” 

Smiling to yourself, you sit in the mental picture of Steve at the desk of his hotel, fisting his erection, his jeans just pulled past his ass. He’s struggling to talk, white knuckles stroking down a reddening shaft, precum dribbling over his skin as he laments his love and frustration. 

“Nothing that takes me away from you and that pretty mouth. I just, shit, just wanna bury my tongue between your legs, make you squirm like you’re doin’ right now.” 

You arch your back as you circle your clit, lit up with desperation and want for Steve, for the little whimpers and choked moans he breathes into your mouth, for the rough pad of his fingertip on your wet cunt. You drive down deeper into the bed, whispering, “Shit, Steve, please, keep going. Keep going.” 

“Keep going?” His voice is steadier now, his desperation staved off by the pride he feels satisfying you, “Keep telling you how much I miss that body? Miss how wet you are when I slip into you, how tight you wrap around me, miss you pushing yourself against me, miss how your tits feel against my chest, shit, fuck, I’m—” 

He loses his composure in a matter of seconds, and it’s the heaving sigh at the outset of his orgasm that sends you careening into yours. That mental picture of his lips parting, pretty and pink and exhaling moans and guttural noises that he can’t hold back. The stilling of his hand on his length, spurts of cum spattered on his jeans and the desk and, if he’s really missing you, the wall. 

You can just hear the quiet, “Ohh, yeah, just like that.” as you’re shaking through your orgasm, fingers frantic over your clit as you dredge out every last bit of pleasure you can before the slightest touch becomes overwhelming. 

Catching your breath, you laugh a little in embarrassment. Crawling into Steve’s arms is typically an easy way to escape the awareness that comes after sex, logic and conscience seeping back into the spaces of your body that were taken over by love and desperation. Now though, all you have is the intangible comfort of his voice over the line, laughing right there with you. 

“I am just the luckiest guy in the world, huh?” He says, a dreamy sigh to follow. 

“Only person luckier than you is me.” You smile, shifting under the covers, the receiver under your head. If you close your eyes you can almost pretend Steve’s right there with you. 

“Fat chance.” There’s the clink of his belt as he pulls his jeans back on, scoffing at the notion. 

“Bite me.” 

He laughs, “I can do that. Soon as I get back, promise.” 

The lull of his voice pushes you closer and closer to sleep, and you mutter out an, “I’ll hold you to it.” 

“Hey, you falling asleep on me?” 

You mumble a negative, and Steve huffs a laugh, “Yeah, alright. Go to sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow night. I love you.” 

Your heart kicks in your chest as it always does when he says that, and you push off sleep enough to firmly say, “I love you.” 

There’s a smile in the sigh he lets out, and a quiet, “Goodnight, my beautiful girl. I’ll be here.”

You fall asleep with the receiver pressed against your cheek, Steve’s soft breathing on the other end. 

It’s almost like he’s there. 

Almost.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

OFMD S2 EP 4-5: Izzy Hands (from a S1 Izzy fan)

I'll admit. I teared up at the Izzy shit in ep 1-3. Not a full-blown cry. But close. I was stressed, and tired, and hurt more than anything. I only cried in my car driving home. It hit, but it was more prolonged.

Do you know what got me crying? Izzy opened that letter, revealing 'For The New Unicorn'. He looks up and smiles. I went from 0-100 dry eyes to crying in seconds. I had to rewatch it because HELL.

The entire episode, hell, debatably from (S1ep4) we see Izzy go through it. Socially isolated and losing his identity. Leading up to S2ep4. Drunk and sad and heartbroken. He tries his best to stay afloat without a lifejacket as his self crumbles around him. He doesn't care anymore. He thinks his life is over. He lashes out because there's no one there to help him.

BUT THEN THE LEG. He cried and I cried during both scenes.

BECAUSE HE IS CARED ABOUT AND HE CAN HEAL!

GOD, and the way that leads into EPISODE 5. Izzy slicked his hair back and regaining some of his own personal identity. Izzy genuinely bantering with Stede, and gently helping him to be a better Captain. The way he desperately asks Stede if Ed said anything else nice about him? Showing that. Yeah, he's not all the way there yet, but he's working on it. The training scene where Izzy just looks on in fascinated horror at Stede's skills? THE LITTE OKAY HANDSIGNAL AT THE END WHEN STEDE USED HIS GRUFF VOICE? He smiles, and jokes, and TRIES. Izzy is pissed, obviously, but he's getting there.

He is kind and caring, all WHILE STILL BEING A PRICK? Him being a total nerd during the curse monologue? Izzy mutters 'rude' and pointedly crosses his legs as Stede ruins the vibe. I laughed harder at Izzy sitting at that desk than I did at most of the jokes in the show. THAT'S MY FUCKING BASTARD!! I'm so happy I saw a character and have been rewarded by showing, yes. He is kind, and trying, but he needs to learn to let himself become new.

I fucking love him. I can tell from the teaser that Izzy is just going to grow closer with the crew (and with himself) and I can't wait. (Even if it means his imminent capture, whoops).

I do think they'll do something with Izzy/Lucius, at least a single happy (Izzy no longer holding himself back from wanting) consensual kiss or genuine discussion about life(post-wedding) to show their growth as characters because I had to pause with the cig and shark interaction. Jesus Christ. I didn't really ship it before, but they are so snarky and it's great.

I'm a bit sad as Izzy's current arc likely means he might not get the big 'fuck you' moment of anger to Ed that Lucius got. Mainly because Con would make me cry, but If Izzy is genuinely just shoving this shit down, ignoring the years that Ed ignored his existence, then...idk.

They purposefully gave Izzy and Ed no scenes and thank god we get a TINY break. Because Ed will try to patch things up, and I don't think it works like that with Izzy. He needs proof that Ed is trying. Add to that Ed ACTUALLY saying sorry to him, and not expecting Izzy to immediately accept it(my theory as to why Lucius pointed it out: Ed will ACTUALLY say sorry to Izzy and mean it. This will heal something for Izzy, and hell). I can't wait for Ed to come back and see him. See him for who he is, a silly prick who is loyal to a fault, who is loved.

This is likely the happiest two episodes we'll get, and fuck, I loved them both SO MUCH. After a rewatch I'll write about the crew. Ed/Stede is actually working for me as we watch them both learn, and Fuck, Lucius/Pete...my darlings.

NOW FOR THE TEASER:

THE IDEA OF SEEING CON IN DRAG AGAIN MAKES ME SO HAPPY! Especially what it means for Izzy. Izzy lets his hair down and has fun with Wee John as he explores what actually makes him happy. Hell, him opening up to being a bit of a masochist as a joke while tied up is...actually my favorite thing (while obvious, given his propensity to put Ed before him in all matters, Izzy casually mentioning 'I like to be roughed a bit up' in front of the crew is the type of openness about himself that I crave). Izzy "cocksuckers" Hands letting himself joke about SEX-GAY SEX(probably)- Kill me now.

(To clarify: I don't think he or Ed ever got off to the abuse, hell, we see Ed flinch away when Anne/Mary do it. That's not the face of someone who knows what that's like as the Sadist).

I just love the way Izzy has so obviously relaxed into a person that he'd never let exist. Hell. I hope Izzy gets to rub this happier version of himself RIGHT in Edward's sad face. I need a 'he was never like this with me' moment of Ed watching Izzy SMILE to parallel Izzy's jealousy in S1.

Con obviously loves this character, you can see it in the performance. He fills the role perfectly, from his ups to his downs. Con smiles and hell, that's not Con, that's Izzy fucking Hands. Striding along proudly pretending his world isn't changing, because it is, and he is healing and I LOVE IT.

I am so proud of our growing Izzy loving community. For some, we've been through a lot of shit. Probably in life, and hell, maybe even in this fandom. Even if you haven't been harassed, you loved Izzy, you saw yourself in him, and I hope you felt the show giving us a big fucking hug.

We grow, we recover, and hell. We get a happy fucking ending (with a few yet-to-be-seen bumps in the road).

[soupandsorcery]

Day 8 - Will, 647 words

Roy looks at him and looks at him and looks at him.

Jamie's just sitting there on his nice leather couch, trying to make some of the words he's rehearsed for this whole thing come out of his mouth. His leg bounces up and down, all nervous energy. Unable to be still.

He even gave himself a whole pep talk on the drive to Roy's place, but sitting here under the force of Roy's stony stare makes this harder than he thought it would be.

"Jamie," Roy finally says, and to his credit, he only sounds a little exasperated. "You said you wanted to talk, so fucking talk."

"I know! I know. Fuck." Jamie drags his hands through his hair. "Had this whole speech rehearsed in the mirror this morning, but now it's like. Fuck. I look at you, and it's all flown out of my head."

Roy's eyebrows furrow. "The fuck does that mean? Why are you so nervous?"

"Its. It's just kind of a big deal, I guess."

"You decided you want to leave," Roy says, and it's not a question.

Jamie rolls his eyes. "Why are you so fucking stuck on that? I told you this ain't a Coach Kent thing. It's not about football for once. This is about...me and you."

"What about us?"

Just say it. Just fucking say it, Tartt. He berates himself in his head. Opens his mouth. Says nothing. Takes a deep breath. Tries to will the words to come out.

"Had a dream about you, the other night," he manages, just leaping right in. "It was. Dead fucking hot, actually. You had me in your lap, and your fingers were..." Jamie trails off, blushing darkly. He gestures down his body, not making eye contact. "Then I woke up, and I thought—there's this way you look at me sometimes—"

"Fuck." Roy curses with more force than usual, and Jamie's eyes snap up to his face. His cheeks are pink all the way to the tips of his ears, and he's staring at Jamie like he either wants to eat him or murder him.

"Sorry," Jamie says immediately. "I know that's weird. I know. But I just..."

"How do I look at you?" Roy demands.

"What?"

"How do I fucking look at you, Jamie?"

He swallows hard. "Like. Like maybe you want me? Like maybe I mean more to you than just being your project or whatever." It comes out almost meek, not like the confidant, bright Jamie Tartt he usually is. But Roy Kent just fucking does something to him. Makes him feel like he's a teenager again, staring up at that poster in his bedroom, desperate to be worth his time.

Roy's face does the thundercloud thing, and it's unreadable in the moment. Jamie doesn't know if he's pissed or uncomfortable or disgusted or what. Now he's doubting himself, doubting every little moment between them over the last year or so that has lead to this. Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe Roy just thinks of him the same way he does any of the other lads on the team.

"Jamie." Roy's voice cuts into Jamie's internal monologue, sharp and commanding.

"Sorry," Jamie says again. "Probably just wishful thinking, yeah? I can go—"

"Shut up. Come here."

He's getting up before he even registers the instruction properly, his body just used to following Roy's orders by now. It's still impossible to tell what he's thinking, even as Jamie comes to stand in front of him.

"Why are you so fucking nervous?" Roy asks again, and his voice is softer now.

"I—I don't want to fuck this up, yeah? You're a dead good coach, and my best fucking friend, and I just don't want to ruin that because I went and started dreaming about you making me come so hard I can't see straight."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jamie."

"I—"

Roy holds up a hand and scowls, cutting him off. "Stop fucking apologizing. Just." He growls under his breath and then yanks Jamie towards him, mashing their mouths together.

[goldenraeofsun]

Day 26: Hum

The hum of the airplane rattles Dean down to his very bones, and his heart is about to jackrabbit out of his chest. With shaking hands, he unscrews the fun size bottle of whiskey he brought from the duty-free store by the gate and swigs back a hearty shot.

It does nothing.

Well, nothing except make his blue-eyed seatmate shoot him a look of alarm. After a beat his neighbor asks tentatively, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Dean grunts.

The plane jolts, and Dean whimpers. Jesus Christ, how long does it take to taxi to the runway? The airport’s only so big for crying out loud.

“Are you sure?” his neighbor asks.

Dean nods and takes another swig of alcohol. “I’m fine,” he repeats quickly. “Other than the fact that I’m stuck in a flying metal tube for the next two hours unless it plummets to Earth in a fiery ball of scrap metal before we land.”

His neighbor squints at him. “That is… extremely unlikely.”

Dean just shrugs and takes another swig of his bottle, now pitifully half-empty.

“I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but flying is statistically the safest way to travel.”

“Thanks, Supes,” Dean says bitterly.

“But I know phobias aren’t always rational,” his neighbor acknowledges, “but I would feel remiss if I didn’t mention it.”

The plane’s engines go from a hum to a blood-chilling roar as they take off down the runway.

Dean’s hands fly to the armrest, bearing down with all his strength. “Son of a bitch, why did I ever think this was a good idea?” he mutters to himself. “I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I shouldn’t even be in this goddamn death trap.”

The plane takes off into the air, and Dean knocks back the rest of his whiskey. Every groan and creak from the cabin gives Dean a mini heart attack. He’s breathing too fast, and the whiskey threatens to come back up several times as they climb farther and farther away from the safety of the ground.

“If people were meant to fly, we would’ve been given fucking wings,” Dean hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. “No, we were meant to stay on planet Earth. Traveling like this is … unnatural.”

“It’s more a matter of aerodynamics than a facet of the supernatural,” his neighbor cuts through his rambling monologue.

Eyes still closed like he can pretend he’s not a thousand feet up in the air, Dean shakes his head. “Not helping.”

“My apologies. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Dean opens his eyes, more than a little surprised at the sincerity written all over his neighbor’s face. “No.”

“Attention passengers, we have reached cruising altitude. You are free to move about the cabin.”

“Thank god.” Dean breathes out heavily through his mouth, but the exhale doesn’t do much to suppress the low thrum of panic still running through his veins. He flexes his fingers, pulling his right arm back from the armrest. “Sorry,” he mutters to his seat neighbor. “Didn’t mean to hog it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” his neighbor says with a warm smile. “You needed it more than I did.”

“Still,” Dean grunts. He cranes his neck. “Where’s the booze cart?”

“Usually they wait a few minutes to let people stretch their legs first,” his neighbor says, “or go to the bathroom.”

“Huh,” Dean leans back in his seat. “You fly often?”

“Not often enough,” he says to Dean’s complete confusion. How could someone want more of this? “I love traveling.”

“I see,” Dean says because he’s not about to tell a complete stranger he’s a Cuckoo’s Nest of Cocoa Puffs.

“It’s not for everyone,” his neighbor says with a slight dip of his head. “But I –” he breaks off as the plane lurches mid-air.

The bottom drops out of Dean’s stomach.

“Attention passengers, we’re hitting a bad bout of turbulence so the captain has turned the fasten seat belt sign on. Please return to your seats.”

Dean’s stomach flies back up into his throat as the plane starts fucking falling, and it’s like Dean’s stuck on a hellish roller coaster made only of death-complying drops. “We’re gonna die,” he moans. 

“I don’t think –”

“The last thing I said to Sammy was, ‘see ya on the other side, bitch’,” he plows on. “I didn’t mean it literally!”

“I really doubt –”

“At least he’ll be alright without his big brother,” Dean babbles, “he’s gonna be a hot shot lawyer, and I’m gonna be a smear on the ground. I hope he knows I’m proud of him.”

“I’m sure he kn –”

“’Cause we’re not going to make it, and I’m never even gonna have a chance at that stupid job I’m not even qualified for. I mean, who the hell would employ a high school dropout with only a GED and a give ’em hell attitude?” he says, his voice rising in pitch. “Nobody, that’s who!”

“That seems un –”

“I mean, do I look like a fucking secretary? Sorry, executive assistant,” he makes a pfft noise with his mouth. “No sir. No siree.” God, he sounds drunk – or like he’s about to cry. “Sammy says I can do it, but, fuck, he’s family. He organized this whole interview; of course he’s gonna say that. He’s always thought I was better than I am. But that’s just how kids view their parent figures, right? I thought the sun shone outta my dad’s ass until he up and left us.”

Alarmed, his neighbor just gapes at him.

The plane shudders and unleashes another torrent of words from Dean’s mouth. His last will and testament – or confession? – before he meets his maker.

“What a goddamn cliche,” Dean rambles, “leaving for a pack of smokes – fucking smokes, can you believe it? – and just never coming back. At least Sammy was a good kid. He practically raised himself after that.”

Something deep in the belly of the plane makes a horrible scraping noise, and this is it. This is the end.

“I did my best though,” he adds fervently, “I helped him with his homework, drove him to dances and SAT classes, made sure all the bills got paid on time so Sammy had a roof over his head, electricity, gas, and running water.”

“Very admirable of you,” his neighbor says faintly.

“I even sweet talked one teacher into writing his college recommendation after Sammy forgot the application deadline. Shit, she was a hard ass, but Sammy loved Mrs. Mosely, so I wasn’t gonna let one mistake set him back. I had to change her oil for free, but it got Sammy into Stanford with a full ride, so I’m not complaining.”

“I think that’s the textbook definition of comp –”

“Attention passengers, we seem to be through the worst of the turbulence, so the captain will turn off the fasten seatbelt sign in a minute. When seated, please keep your seatbelt on and enjoy the rest of the flight.”

Dean snaps his jaw shut, his face heating to a temperature only known to Mount Doom. 

His neighbor opens his mouth to say something, but Dean just shakes his head and turns away to flag down a flight attendant. That booze cart has his goddamn name on it.

Two hours and change later, Sammy meets him at the arrivals gate, smirking. “How was the flight?” he asks as they make their way to the exit.

“Shut up. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sam chuckles. “That bad?”

“We hit turbulence five minutes in.”

“Damn,” Sam says sympathetically. “But at least Castiel is excited to meet you.”

“Yippee.”

* * *

Sammy drops off Dean at Castiel Novak’s office in some horrible reverse parody of the first day of school. As he gets out of the car, Dean half-expects Sam to hand him a bag lunch and tell him to play nice with the other kids. But Sam just lets him go with a grin and a wave.

Dean gives his name at the welcome desk and gets a visitor’s pass and directions to the fourth floor.

He spends the short elevator ride fiddling with the cuffs of his blazer and adjusting his tie.

All too soon, the doors open, and Dean steps out only to stop dead in his tracks.

“Hello, Dean,” says his seatmate from his flight-from-hell. He takes a step closer and holds out his hand. “I don’t believe we ever traded formal introductions. I’m Castiel Novak.”

For the second time in two days, the bottom drops out of Dean’s stomach.

Read the sequel here!

[cordialsilence]

I just saw Barbie and that's your problem now (spoilers)

Dude. I. What the fuck (positive)

I just saw Barbie and bloody hell how did this movie ever get approved by Mattel (positive)

SPOILERS. LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. KEEP SCROLLING IF YOU WISH FOR THIS MOVIE TO REMAIN UNSPOILED.

For contex, "Barbie" singular refers to margot robbie, the main character. "barbies" plural refers to background/side characters. I understand why this movie broke ryan gosling.

Ok play by play:

I walk into the theatre, popcorn in hand. The isles are filled with pink. I am wearing pink. the lights dim. Its showtime

Primitive children play with primitive dolls. barbie appears. i wonder if David Attenborough directed this part of the movie

Present day barbie. Stuff from the trailers. hi barbie hi barbie hi barbie. Oh wait the song is the narrator that kinda cool

5 minutes in and its Trailers trailers trailers. I've seen maybe 5 lines of non-trailer dialogue

The "beach you off" joke goes right over my head. I still don't know if there was a joke there

dance time. holy shit the mood of summer (do you ever think about dying) happend real fast. Nice save Barbie

sour milk and flat feet

jesus christ we're at weird barbie's already. this is the plot I know from the trailers but we still have like an hour and 20 minutes left

Weird barbie made a dick joke. The theater erupts. they were not expecting that.

don't laugh at the sex joke don't laugh at the sex joke you are with your parents don't laugh at the sex joke.

Mmmmmk barbie in the real world. The undertone of violence during catcalling is addressed. yay!

Barbie loudly and bluntly announces that she does not have a vagina and that ken does not have a penis. They do not have genitals. The crowd goes wild. They expected that less.

In the spen of 2 minutes Barbie gets arrested. barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets the cowgirl suit. barbie gets arrested. Barbie gets objectified by police officers. Barbie gets released by police officers

barbie has meditation time and discovers the girl

ken takes a walk and discovers that the world is run by men

barbie and ken go to school. Barbie gets burned roasted eviscerated by sara (the girl whos been playing with her) and runs away crying. Ken discovers the patriarchy

Barbie gets discovered by mattel. Barbie gets chased through mattel HQ

The girl and her mom save barbie and go back to barbie land. it was actually the mom who played with barbie and made her because she was sad about her daughter being a dicky teenager.

ken has taken over barbie land

ken has instated the patriarchy into barbie land. the barbies are brainwashed into being mindless servants. the dreamhouses are now for the kens.

Barbie has a breakdown. Mom daughter go to leave barbie land

Barbie is rescued by weird barbie and taken to her house, the base of a resistance??? other brainwashed barbies are there. Weird barbie now wears grenades. Discontinued barbies and weird barbies are trying to unbrainwash brainwashed barbies. It is not working. Barbie is still having a breakdown.

Gay as hell ken exists

Mom and daughter are back. Barbie cries about how she isnt pretty and "stereotypical barbie" anymore. The air is thick and uncomfortable. The narrator announces that margot robbie was not the right person to deliver that line. tension dissolved (for now)

Mom goes into long and heartfelt rant about the patriarchy and expectations of women and jesus christ is rocked me to my core it was like every feminist tumblr post compiled into the perfect monologue about the struggles of being a woman in the best way possible. I can feel the uncomfortable men in the room. I can also feel the men in the room who are sad for women. you could hear a pin drop. The barbies become unbrainwashed as they realize the patriarchy sucks. Barbie is back.

Barbie and friends have mom give more (unheard ;-;) speeches and unbrainwash the other barbies in a way that calls out how men view women and sexist media tropes.

Holly shit is ken the villain of this movie

Barbies turn kens against each other so they forget about voting to change the constitution. Yes.

Kens have a war over barbies. They do not have weapons. Ryan gosling sings a power ballad. The kens unite.

The kens confront the barbies. President barbie drops a motherfucker bomb censored with a mattel logo. The crowd once again goes wild. Some of us go feral. I went feral.

Lost of deep conversations about the patchirarchy and sexisim and beuty standards and holly shit I though this was going to be a kids film but its almost unhinged kiss me greta gerwig

A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for barbie or ken. Ken cannot compute this. A Barbie and ken romance is not the answer for Barbie or ken. Ken slightly computes this.

Barbie tells ken that he's his own person and he is not defined by his girlfriend or the patriarchy or beach (his job. no there is not context). cough cough this is the movie addressing toxic masculinity and how the patriarchy harms men

Barbie does not know her ending. Barbie meets Ruth Mattel. Ruth mattel is in trouble with the IRS for committing tax evasion. deep emotional scene. barbie learns sees what it means to be human. that billie eyelash song plays. Humans only have one ending, ideas live forever. Barbie "wants to be part of the people who make ideas, not the idea"

Barbie is in a car. Beige suit. Pink Birkenstocks. The mom and the girl wish her good luck. They will be here when she's done. Barbie walks into an office building.

"name"

"handler comma Barbra" (context required but its meaningful and basically barbies human name)

"why are you here"

"I'm here to see my gynecologist"

The end. The crowd goes feral. nobody moves as we wonder what the fuck just happened. We cheer.

Being the true Margot Robbie Stan that I am, I rise from my seat and think "what a ride"

I exit the theatre, grinning ear to ear. Perplexed. But grinning ear to ear. I do not stop grinning for a long time.

As I exit the theatre, me and my fellow movie-goers look at each other with a sense of fear, happiness, and that feeling when you wake up from a fever dream. I doubt I will sleep tonight as my brain processes this movie. I still don't really know what happened to Barbie. I'm perfectly ok with that.

Overall the trailers greatly mislead people and this movie was a wild feminist, feminist, feminist ride in the most fantabulous way possible. It touches on most social issues, makes fucking hilarious jokes, Barbie has several breakdowns and it truly feels like a giant "fuck you" to the patriarchy with Mattel's branding. Written by women, directed by women, produced by women. its perfect. It's not the most sophisticated piece of feminist media but its pretty fucking close and definitely the best mainstream one.

Hating the Barbie movie should replace hating cats as a red flag.

I loved it and I'm still processing it but it was great. Also how was something like this allowed to happen in hollywood. I don't care. it happened and It was perfect. I loved it and I'm making plans to see it again.

[fragileizywriting]

watched a recap of a romance erotica book called twisted love and i'd never heard of it up until like yesterday when i watched the video bc i have no idea what's going on in the tik tok world as well as the book world because i'm very bad at doing my hobbies. anyway, jesus christ what a wreck of a book. i can fix this. i can make a better adaption. i can write this story but better.

HERES HOW WE CAN STILL WIN, (felinette version woohoo o/ !!)

marinette, our main character, is a college student going for fashion design in paris at the age of 25. she's bright and bubbly and cheery, who works very hard at school and part-times at her parents bakery. she has a boyfriend— well, had a boyfriend— adrien agreste, known socialite, who had spoken wax of poetry over and over and over about how much he loved her, telling her that as a graduation present he'd buy her a boutique, an apartment, a car...... he decides to ghost everyone in his life after a breakdown, seemingly moving out of the city, for reasons that i haven't figured out just yet. i just need him to kick himself out of this city.

marinette, of course, is heartbroken. this sucks. she's grieving so hard.

enter felix, adrien's identical twin brother who has nothing to do with this, barely existed in her life up until now, but is attempting to snatch his brother right back from whatever dumb, impulsive ridiculous thing he did— adrien had a girlfriend, a solid apartment, a solid life, adrien had mentioned that he was so close to asking marinette to marry him...— finally knocks on marinette's door one afternoon. identical twin yet marinette has barely talked to him; the man's busier than anyone should be reasonably allowed to be, and isn't much of a sunshine as adrien is. i will routinely mention in this book that the light in marinette's livingroom/dining room makes felix's hair look whispy and nearly white against adrien's sure-fire sun-like flare of hair. even though felix's eyes are green just like adrien's, they're somber, and almost bluish at times.

marinette, obviously, wants nothing to do with felix.

"please leave," she tells him, because she's tired and lonely and is craving yet another box of icecream she keeps in the freezer for— well, moments like these, really. apparently. she's going to cry herself asleep for the fourth week in a row. girlboss behavior. "i kind of don't want to deal with your entire family right now."

"i understand," felix says, and he doesn't look all that convincing, because the man is standing there, awkwardly, hands fisted at his sides trying to figure out how to speak to her in a way that implies more than 'i've only ever seen you for a few hours every christmas when adrien invites family over and i'm the only family he has because our parents are all levels of fucked up and we don't really need to talk about this in depth right now'. and then, as a garnish, 'i've always been really thankful that adrien miraculously turned out fine from the whole ordeal considering that i had to go to therapy for multiple years, decades, in fact, to deal with our family, and i always thought he was fine everytime i'd see him probably four times a year, but apparently not, at all, and now i'm stuck dealing with his grieving... ex? girlfriend? ex??? and i don't know how to deal with women at all because i am an introvert the size of the moon but i'm really trying, here'. "i just don't think it's best to leave you alone."

"i'm fine," she replies, completely ignorant to his inner monologue. "i can handle myself. i'm an adult, felix."

and yet felix has the audacity to look— kicked, really. "i'm aware."

"could you give me some space?"

"of course." and then, because felix just apparently is all sorts of weird tricks up his business sleeves, blurts out: "not as much as i've always given you, though. right?"

"what do you mean?"

"i don't feel comfortable just leaving you completely on your own." there is an attempt for marinette to refute, to open her mouth and mention that she's still twenty-five, she's an adult, she's not a baby, and felix refutes it with a hand up in the air. "you're grieving because of my brother and i don't like the idea of not doing something about it."

and so, through reasons that i cannot at all comprehend how i will get here but i have to if i want to match (somewhat) the plot ("plot") points of the original book i'm rewriting, felix ends up (temporarily) moving into an apartment next door, for no other reason other than to make marinette feel safer and comfortable. just stick with me. ideally, there would be a plan of some kind here. for now, since this is only a tumblr post, i can just handwave that away. that's not my problem just now.

some of the main fixes i would make sure to change immediately is to change felix from a "ruthless alpha-lone-wolf dog behavior" to "i'm adrien's older brother (they are still twins but felix will routinely mention he's still the oldest born) and i feel a psychological, traumatic need to take care of him because i can't let my younger brother have any trauma from our parents, i refuse, i refuse, and if that means keeping his life together for him while he's gone, i'll do my best" and that means making sure that marinette is, at the very least, fine and not dead. that's a good plan. but as he spends more and more time with marinette, the more he realizes his mistake; he likes her as a friend, likes her a lot more, is impressed at her skills and slowly starts falling in love with her which is honestly very useful.

at some point, i'd have to have them have a solid "i'm not using you to replace him," she cries. "i just— love you." conversation. it's an important one. and a segue to the back half of the book that is just sex.

another thing that i would change from the original story is the ridiculous b plot of dark secrets and betrayal and incidents, because that's not necessary. i could carry this book entirely on sex alone as well as mutual pining. and felix's sad, kittenlike eyes whenever he's upset.

okay i'm done for now i gotta go clean the kitchen. please enjoy this

[bright-and-burning]

okok vague writing prompts?? idk if you want one word or tropes but here is a list: nervous; college au; office worker au; insecure; flushed; siren au; zombie apocalypse; flutter; hoarse; clenched teeth!!!! hope something interests you!?!??! im sorry if i fail!!!!

omg so many thank you anon!! i went with office worker au, but i will be saving the other ones for the future :) if you see any typos it’s bc i wrote + posted this in one go and also no you didn’t <3

“And that’s why our new procurement process is, uh, brat,” Zak says, slightly choppy over Zoom. They really need to sort out the wifi in this wing.

Lando snorts, loud in the empty set of cubicles around him. He gets a lot done during these calls; nobody else works in person on all-staff meeting days.

“Jesus Christ,” someone mutters.

Nobody but Lando and this guy, apparently.

Lando double checks that his camera and microphone are off before popping his head over the grey cubicle wall. He doesn’t need to pay attention until Andrea starts talking anyways, and Zak’s only just hit eight minutes of monologuing. He’s got at least three more minutes before he needs to check back in.

“Hello,” Lando mouths, before realizing there’s no way this guy just broadcast his muttering to the full all-staff meeting. He repeats himself out loud.

“Hi?”

New guy’s face has gone all scrunchy.

Cute.

“I’m Lando. You’re new?”

He certainly wasn’t in the building for last month’s all-staff. Lando would know. He’d taken advantage of the empty office and switched his shitty desk chair for new guy’s cubicle’s nice one after the last guy left. Whoops.

“Oscar, kind of.” New guy, Oscar, is still trying to pay attention to Zak. Can’t have been around that long, then.

“Nice to meet you, kind-of-Oscar.”

Oscar pulls another face. Lots of faces on this guy.

“I meant-“

Lando cuts him off.

“I’m fucking with you. How are you ‘kind of’ new? There’s no way I missed you.”

Oscar’s eyebrow raises, even as his cheeks go a little pink. Lando shrugs, lucky that embarrassment doesn’t show as easily on his face as it clearly does on Oscar’s. He didn’t mean it like that. He also didn’t exactly not mean it like that, now that he’s said it, but that’s not the point.

Oscar pushes through Lando’s blunder like it never happened.

“I started last month? Andrea let me work remotely until I found a place. Didn’t sort things out till last week, so only been here,” he gestures at his undecorated cubicle, motion somehow infused with dryness, “since Thursday.”

Lando nods. Makes sense: he was out last week and neck-deep in deadlines on Monday. Oscar could’ve been a talking giraffe and Lando wouldn’t have noticed before today.

“You in analytics then, or?” Lando lets the sentence hang. He’s not all that sure what other departments they even have. Probably what paying attention to the all-staff is for. He’ll just ask George at drinks next week. Half to wind him up and half because he needs a list to work off of if he ever wants to figure out what Bottas does.

“Database management, actually. Think they ran out of desks in their wing, had to shove me in with you guys.”

“Well,” Lando says, dramatically sweeping his hand around, “welcome aboard.”

They smile at each other for a second too long.

Oscar opens his mouth. Lando glances down , and then down further to his watch.

“Oh shit, Andrea’s gotta be starting soon.”

Lando dips down fully onto his side of the wall, a little frantic. He pokes his head back up a moment later.

“See you around, kind-of-Oscar.”

Oscar laughs as he disappears behind the half-wall separating them again.

“See you around, Lando,” he says, smile audible in the quiet office.

Lando puts his headphones back on.

“—ank you to accounting. That’s everything in finance; anything new in data, Andrea?”

Perfect timing.

[ryusei-yellow]

ok i havnt read ryuseitai stories in a hot minute so sorry in advance if i end up wrong w anything. anw

the main thing with a lot of the ryuseitai ! era stories was chiaki preparing tetora in way for the title of ryusei red and ryuseitai leader after chiaki and kanata graduated, and like that did happen but w the implementation of ensemble square in !! era chiaki and kanata were allowed to like. hang around and ryuseitai split into 2 sections: ryuseitai-M, w the original members and chiaki as the leader/ryusei red, and ryuseitai-N, w two new members, the ryuseijuniors, and tetora as ryusei red.

the first ryuseitai event was chiakis, where in it it was revealed that ryuseitai-N was going to be disbanded, thus demoting tetora back to being ryusei-black full time while chiaki got to be ryusei red again.

quick note. chiaki and tetora both have self worth issues and go about dealing w it in different ways. tetora goes about it the self-improvement way and thats why he's got the "become the manliest man i can be" thing going on. chiaki on the other hand is the "shoulder all the burdens and peopl's negative emotions myself" type which. clashes greatly w tetora.

so anw. in the ryusei events that are chronologically between chiaki's event and tetora's ryuseitai is having interpersonal issues, could not give you details bc as i said it has been a hot minute since i read a ryuseitai story. on to tetora's event story "supervillain"

it's in this story where the intergroup tension comes to a head and tetora leaves ryuseitai to join the company Crimson Productions, or "Crimpro". do not have the energy to full get into crimpro's deal but short ver its mostly made up of kids that have been outcasted in a way bc of the ensemble square idol monopoly. anw. while tetora does end up being smthn of a double agent and comes back to ryuseitai its in this event where teotra and chiaki both like. talk properly. and from tetora especially he has a monologue near the end of the story that i love and almost made me cry the first time i read it. then while tetora still technically doesn't reclaim the role of ryusei red, it's after this event that tetora official becomes the center in ryuseitai arts, and ryuseitai itself undergoes a change where they all take turns being the leader of ryuseitai instead of just chiaki or just tetora.

anw. there;s more details that could be said here but this already long as fuck and i want you to get the experince of reading some of these scenes (especially supervillain. jesus christ). slaps head of this rant bon apetite or whatever

OH MY GOD……ohhhhdhhfg… i’ve read this story:

so i have seen a bit of tetora’s self worth and self improvement stuff. but with more context. uousaghghf….ougghhahsdjjgf……supervillain is on my read list now then. oh ryusetai i love you

[sapphire-weapon]

May I ask why exactly you dislike Infinite Darkness? I thought it had a pretty solid story and I found Leon pretty good. I'd love to hear your elaborated opinion. :)

I haven't watched ID since it first came out, so I can't give you a super detailed breakdown of it, but here's what I do remember:

I felt like the writers didn't know what they wanted Leon to actually be in terms of like... which side of his character they wanted to show off. He seems to go through sudden mood swings, and I remember at several points just being like "Dude he's all over the place. Is he off his meds or what's going on here?"

There were a lot of moments that were just logistical nonsense. Again, I can't remember exactly, but I do remember going "so are they ever going to explain that?" And "how the fuck did she even get there?" At several points.

Like, I do remember Leon fucking shooting Jason in the heart for treason, but when Shen May engages in the exact same shit that Leon called treason, he just went "WELL I'LL JUST SEE WHERE THIS GOES IG. DON'T WANNA JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS..." like homie you just fucking murdered a man over this what do you mean???? I know you want to fuck her but Jesus christ.

Infinite Darkness did Claire so dirty that I straight up cannot remember what the fuck she was even doing in it. The only thing I remember about Claire in ID is her getting kidnapped and having to rescue herself. And then she and Leon get into a big dumb fight at the end, AND THE FIGHT ITSELF MAKES NO SENSE

omg it's coming back to me now. If Leon's intention was to withhold evidence from Claire, why the fuck bother to tell her that he'd salvaged the evidence at all?? There was no fucking reason for him to do that. Like, was he trying to just hold it over her head and be a dick about it? What the fuck was the intention there? "hey Claire I got the thing that you've spent the entire plot duration looking for. And I'm not going to give it to you. See? See it in my hand? I have it. Not for you, though. Get fucked."

And then for Claire to get that pissed at him and rag on him for his bad judgement and decision-making and then NOT throw Sherry in his face or mention her at all is like... why. What's the point. Why did you manufacture this stupid drama between them when there was already something there that you could have used that was more organic and would make more sense???

ESPECIALLY SINCE THE WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT HOW UNTRUSTWORTHY THE GOVERNMENT IS AND HOW THEY DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SURVIVORS OR RACCOON CITY AT ALL AND

I'm getting mad all over again LMAO

And also like!! The whole thing with Leon having a crisis about how he doesn't feel like a hero YET STILL LOOKS ASHLEY'S DAD IN THE FACE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND THE SHOW GOES OUT OF ITS WAY TO SHOW PHOTOS OF HER?? There was no acknowledgement of the fact that Leon actually saved her and did do a good thing, and I don't know why or how they just missed it and instead had to resort to that Patrick jobber to try to tell Leon "no it's OK man you're still a hero to me" like what the fuck

And the fucking

Villainous plot

It was the fucking Jenova Project. IT WAS JUST THE JENOVA PROJECT. Someone in the US government played FF7 and then turned around and went "HEY I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA" and started putting dudes in tubes and fucking with their genetic makeup.

I actually said the words out loud while watching "so is Jason Sephiroth??????"

Shen May's entire character was completely worthless, she accomplished nothing and died for nothing. And Jason trying to give a sad, dramatic monologue while he's a big gross bulging Birkin monster was one of the funniest things in RE ever, and that was super not the intention by the writers for that scene.

It was just a mess. It was a mess of missed opportunities and bad plot decisions made by stupid characters who accomplish nothing.

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Unmei no Tsugai ga Omae da Nante

Title: Unmei no Tsugai ga Omae da Nante (運命の番がお前だなんて)

Author/Artist: Haruta

Release Date: 2021/06/25

Cast: 

Okitsu Kazuyuki x Masuda Toshiki

Taito Ban

Tsuchida Reiou

Kobayashi Kousuke

Matsuura Yoshiyuki

Tanaka Tomomi

Watanabe Yoshimi

Synopsis: Free-spirited omega Shishikura and straight-laced alpha Kotani have disliked each other since middle school, so neither are pleased to learn they will both be working at the same company. Shishikura is even less thrilled when he discovers that he and Kotani are a fated pair! The two men take verbal swipes at each other every chance they get, yet still wind up in bed together again and again. Both chalk it up to biology and refuse to admit that deeper feelings might be involved, and Shishikura begins looking into other potential marriage partners. Will this tsundere couple ever get their act together, or will destiny be derailed by their own stubbornness?

Review Proper

Finally, the thing I mistook for Yukyuu Omega is here. *exhale*

If y’all know me, you’ll know that I absolutely abhor omegaverse (you can thank Kurui Naku Ban Beta, Sayonara Alpha, and Erito for that). Literally everything you could do in an abo has already been done. I don’t see a point in making more of these. Mangakas: Okay, let’s do domsub instead But hey, am I not a Okitsu whore? No. Anyway, even though I was excited about listening to this, I knew I was going to hate Kotani because he was an asshole. 

There’s only one thing worse than an abo.

AN ABO WITH AN ASSHOLE CHARACTER.

But, in spite of myself, I actually enjoyed this. 

I’m having a moral crisis, help.

JK. Unmei no Tsugai doesn’t sell itself as a serious plot, so it shouldn’t be taken seriously either. Unlike our deep try-hards. I mean, it’s your pretty run-of-the-mill dumbass gets an excuse to fuck the asshole, falls in love with him, the asshole becomes more of an asshole, the dumbass drags a third party to make him jealous, the asshole becomes more of an asshole, poor third party gets led on and dumped, and the dumbass and asshole finally gets together without the asshole even apologizing, medetashi, medetashi. But the way that Haruta wrote and movic set it all up was fantastic. 

Now this is how you do comedy. I initially had some doubts ‘cause the narration in the first track was kind of strange lmao. It went from medieval style to traditional Japanese and it was narrated by someone who sounded like a news broadcaster wth. Is this a densetsu??? The CD later turned out to be a whole vocal flex for Massuu and Okitsu ‘cause goddamn. 

Massuu, for starters, used a tone slightly above his Hirokuni but slightly smoother. I haven’t read the manga before, so I wasn’t sure how things were going to go, so I was very surprised that he pulled his shounen (aka his Kirishima) voice later! I loved it. His changes were dynamic, chaotic, and very fitting for Shishikura. AND! AND! JESUS CHRIST HIS SEXAY MONOLOGUES!!! HELLO??? WAS HE PAID EXTRA??? Y’ALL GOTTA HEAR ALL THE BEDROOM SUBJUGATIONS!!! I didn’t know he had that in him tbh. I was just blown away. He has never bottomed this chaotically before, if I recall correctly. It’s evident that he had a lot of fun recording this (as did Okitsu as per the cast talk) and I love that! It makes me wish this had a second volume so we could hear more of this kind of Massuu.

Onto Okitsu,

Y’all already know what I’m gonna say. 

Is my bias over Okitsu making me like this? Who knows? But it’s undeniable that my man has, once again, slayed this role. I won’t talk about his perfect performance much ‘cause I’ve already run out of praises years ago, so just know that if you’re not an Okitsu bitch by now, you’re really missing out lmao.

ALSO

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE’VE WITNESSED OKITSU PLAY TWO BETAS, A PRETEND OMEGA, AND NOW FINALLY AN ALPHA!!! We don’t count the disrespect that was Shounen no Kyoukai

-Chesk, 25, hates abos but will listen if Okitsu’s in it

Anywho, these two also had great chemistry with each other. They’re more or less in sync during their mattress mambos, so I really wasn’t spazzing out during Smoky Nectar. I was thinking maybe I was asking for too much. 😂 Idk what to feel, knowing that this is Fatgum x Kirishima

In conclusion, get this. Get this if you’re a fan of the series and abo in general. And if you dislike abo like me, this still is worth getting if you’re an Okitsu/Massuu stan. If you want to see just what makes voice actors good, you’ll be in the right place. As for those who want to read the manga along with the BLCD, it is doable, but bear in mind that there is added and cut dialogue. I only have the magazine releases, and I’ve noticed that the narrations are rearranged, so do try buying the tank if you can (reading the Chrima release with it is doable too tho). Gosh, I really wish this wasn’t an abo lmao. Anyway, I’m afraid there aren’t a lot of gag abos like this out there, so I wouldn’t be able to recommend anything similar. Go Kashikomarimashita: Destiny and Re:birth for more Okitsu tho

[max--phillips]

Still think it might be an oversimplification to say Mandalore isn’t cursed

This crazy bitch

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again . If evil why hot

Lmao . Of course

BITCH

why’d he shave

Wacky suits

Aw hey Hux! I know that name!

Project necromancer eh

Lmao this guy

Sounds like it wasn’t an extraction and was indeed a failed assassination attempt

Lmao

This is either going to go incredibly well or super super super bad—jinx Bo

I love that Grogu’s also just there like :)

Most awkward family reunion ever

Oh boy

LMAO GROGU

Did they make Grogu a fucking power suit

Rough CG there bud

Din ekgjehfjdjsndkos

They. Made Grogu a power suit

WKFKSBFKCKDNDKVIDJSJCKDKNS

GROGU RKGJDNFJDNSKSK

SKFJDNSJFS

Din’s like . Jesus Christ

Paz is having a rough time

LMAO

Baby’s so proud I love him

Hell yeah Koska . This is gonna be so interesting why and how does Din make standing there hot

Bo’s psyched as hell

Hm

Not the only ones with the thought it looks like

Who do we got

Ah. The thing

United we stand etc etc etc

Don’t. Don’t do it. Do not.

Ok. That was weird

This is going to be bad. That scene is going to be bad

LMAO PAZ

TJFJDKS THE REST OF THEM ARE LIKE THIS IS ABOUT TO BE WILD

AXE FKVJDBCJDJSK

I love mandalorians they’re so stupid

KOSKA FKVJDJS

BABY FJVNDNCKDNSK I WOULD DIE FOR GROGU

LMAO HE DIDNT LEARN THAT FROM ME

Ok scene not bad but. I have a bad feeling about all of this

Hey. That’s moving

The nature of science fiction & fantasy is there will be a giant creature

Hey. That’s fucked up

God. Paz. Jesus

Damn Din

????

Somethings up with these stormtroopers. I don’t like this. This feels like a trap

Aw hey! It was a trap!

Din???????

Oh boy

Why does he like to monologue so much

Debriefing

Paz ????? PAZ?????????? NO MAN CMON

OH GOOD. Great. Love this for him

Man that sucks

Rude! Way! To! End! An! Episode!