#the middle of it
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moodboard
#personal#GODDDDDDD fuck ive thrown up three or four times today and have had horrible other stomach problems and now on top of all that im pretty#sure this has exacerbated my period symptoms bc now my lower back hurts like hell and my legs are so achy and every time istand up i get#lightheaded#it took me a fucking hour to make a smoothie for myself bc i kept feeling weak and at one point had to run upstairs to Expel My Insides in#the middle of it#also all of this means no auditions for me today 👍🏻 messaged director to let her know i wouldn’t be coming in and also to ask her to tell#stage manager that despite my bailing on this i do plan to be involved in crew still 👍🏻 since the stage manager told me she’d see me at#auditions since she’s part of the audition committee. anyway director messaged back saying i could do an email audition which was very#nice of her so i guess im supposed to send a vid of me singing + reading some sides + following a choreographed routine once she sends me#the guide for that which she said she would do later… since she like just said that im guessing it will be like 9 at least by the time she#gets it to me so hopefully it’s fine if i do that tmrw morning instead of tonight bc i don’t want to disturb my roommates#<- we are all students btw sorry this is making it sound like i have a weirdly informal relationship w the audition committee#the music chronicles#anyway also emailed asking if i could take work off tmrw bc i still feel like shit and don’t want them scrambling to figure out the#schedule tmrw morning if i had called then instead. they haven’t replied yet tho#also i feel like. sick bc tmrw is MLK jr day and like what if theyre thinking i thought we had the day off and am now finding out we don’t#and just spitting out an excuse to not come in bc i made plans for it or smth… ugh#lke it would be fine if it were just this but I also requested Feb 7 off not long ago and last week my testing went so overtime like they#are going to think im slacking so bad… :/#i am straight up not having a good time ‼️#cw emetophobia#also if i am still sick tmrw that means no working on crony with lab partner either since we meet on mondays ☹️ was looking forward to that#even if im not sick actually i still shouldn’t go bc i called off work and we work on it in the same building as my workplace so if they#saw me that wouldn’t be great#the engineering chronicles
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Hey in middle earth is there any ecological consequences for those big fuckin eagles
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Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.
#vulcans#I don't think all Vulcans dress the same and headcanon that there's a buunch of different styles on Vulcan#BUT I DO think that older middle aged men flock together regardless of species#and that it's funny that Vulcan has like The Vulcan Hair[tm] - why'd they do that to themselves HEHEHE you're lucky your dad's telepathic#I really wanna see fashion subcultures for other plaaaanets in star trek#I wanna see Klingon Goth#I wanna see fashion styles specific to that species because of that species' culture#like how we have niche niche fashion trends#the other day I thought about it being Vulcan counterculture to do your makeup as if you've been crying#popular with teens but adults do NOT like it
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the curse of summer is buying and eating an inadvisable amount of fruit in single sittings.
#listen in my defense i bought 4 peaches and they are going to get oversoft in 2 days and i only ate two of them rn#that's discipline! that's control!#........#i will probably end up eating the other two in the middle of the night huh
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you tell a bitch to keep their cat indoors and suddenly their town is the first in the world to have eradicated every viral, bacterial and parasitic disease, they invented completely harmless cars, dogs and predators dont exist either but somehow the native songbird population is fine since the cats in this place have lost the hunting instinct, there's no pollutants or toxic plants and human cruelty has ceased to exist. and mr mittens has a chip in his brain that will explode if he doesnt go outside 10 hours of the day
#these cunts are so fucking unaware and ignorant its hilarious (derogatory)#until they find their cat turned into a doormat in the middle of the road#shortext
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He's never happy
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#azula art#azula fanart#atla azula#princess azula#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#katara art#katara fanart#atla katara#katara of the southern water tribe#the gaang#atla meme#agni kai#The Last Agni Kai#sozins comet#From “I'm never happy” to “Am I happy?”#That's what I call character development#Oh Zuzu what are we going to do with you#(It's okay everyone still loves you)#(Except for Lala)#(But she's in the middle of a breakdown so it's understandable)#(She'd love you too if she was in a right place)
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Something something, living rent free in my mind and such, anyway I love them.
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#mcu#gosh I really need to find a good style to draw them#I drew wolverine's face FOUR times cuz I hated the way it looked hhhh#this movie took Hugh Jackman out of one of the boxes in my head and put him in a spinning wheel right in the middle of my brain#my art
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#palestine#gaza#free palestine#free gaza#jerusalem#rafah#west bank#yemen#lebanon#egypt#middle east#human rights#united nations#icj#politics#united states#us politics#democrats#biden#genocide joe#genocide#israel#israel is a terrorist state#israel is committing genocide
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Welp, if JK Rowling being executive producer and therefore being fully involved in the show wasn't enough for people to boycott, then here's HBO basically saying they don't care JK Rowling is a bigot from hell who literally helped lead a harassment campaign of lies against Imane Khalif in her transphobia and obsession with women being terf's standards of women alongside posting harassment against trans people on twitter at times, they gonna stand by her, while using the excuse, "personal views". Hmm, yes, personal views- that's one way to uh, call what the fuck JK Rowling comes out with a-lot- last I checked personal views do come with consquiences if said out loud....a thousand times in JK's case and still counting....especially if they hurt people, but hey, if it means making another Harry Potter project to milk, just let it fucking be I guess.
#anti jk rowling#anti jkr#fuck jk rowling#fuck jkr#jk rowling#harry potter#harry potter reboot#hp reboot#hp#hbo#how interesting hbo and disney now feel comfortable being openly transphobic in areas#shelfing a moon girl episode that focus on trans people and now this#only people i feel bad for in this project...is the kids#they gonna be thrown in the middle of all of this#and surrounded by people like JK Rowling who only seeks a golden trio to replace the old one#who turned on her bigot ass
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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#of course everyone is silent#fuck israel#fuck the US#palestine#free palestine#gaza#gaza strip#middle east#free gaza#israel
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One of the things that pisses me off most about this genocide and overall occupation is how many people say it's so complicated and there's so much nuance and there isn't one easy solution. This is one of the simplest things I have ever seen. Zionists invaded palestine in 1947-48. They have occupied it for 76 years while taking more and more land. They kidnap and torture and massacre Palestinians day in day out for those 76 years. They control every aspect of Palestinian life, including their water and medical care. And now they are committing another genocide against them. Where is the complication? What is hard to understand? "Well, Jewish people need a place where they won't be discriminated against" I absolutely agree. So make every country in the world safe for Jewish people. Fight against anti Semitism across the world. Don't commit a genocide and set up an ethnostate.
#free palestine 🇵🇸#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free gaza#free palestine#palestine#palestinian genocide#gaza strip#gaza#middle east
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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Preview of Sam Long’s story, drawn by the amazing Cynthia Yuan Cheng! (@cynthiaycheng, cynthiaycheng.com)
Becoming Who We Are Kickstarter ends Dec 14! Preorder now to help us fund the book!
bit.ly/becomingkickstarter
#becoming who we are#trans stories#trans kids#trans childhood#queer comics#trans comics#comics anthology#comics Kickstarter#Sam long#Cynthia yuan cheng#middle grade graphic novel#middle grade comics
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it#and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about#why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks'#you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it#anyway#mine#asexuality
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