#the male pipeline from im a

[ryukisgod]

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

okaaaaaaay i think im now madly obsessed w yan player amor so what if barista reader noticed and slowly became uncomfortable w his uncannily nice advances and overly big tips and all that knowing he has quite the reputation? but i think that the gods also shot an arrow into my heart as i read abt yan player >< <33

Yandere! Male! Player x gn! Barista! Reader part 2

An order of Amor coming right up!

"He's here again."

One of your coworkers nudged your side, smirking at your deadpan face. "Aw, what's the face for? Aren't you happy that you got such an icon pursuing you?"

You want to gag.

Amor has been going here, everyday. Drinking the same coffee, eating the same cake. It's been like that to the point that you'll prepare the order beforehand.

He always come to the cafe at 7:30 in the morning, walk up to you and with that dumb smile on his handsome face, he would say "Hello darling. One order of caramel machiatto and a slice of red velvet please." And you would hand the order immediately just to minimize interaction.

But he would stay at the counter just to smile creepily at you.

It doesn't help that your coworker would gush about how lucky you are, how amazing it is to have THE Amor fawning over you.

But guess what, you didn't care. You wanted out.

And you made sure Amor knew about it.

You ignored him, always adamantly returning his ever so generous tips, and shooting him down whenever you had the chances.

On the other hand, Amor is getting quite... Pissed.

Why aren't you falling for him?

He made sure to wish for every person to fall for him in his next life, which is this current life. So why aren't you fawning over him? Even the god of love doesn't have an answer at all.

It was infuriating.

You were so close. So painfully near to his grasp but so far. You were like an unreachable dream to someone so selfish as him. Like a punishment for being so over himself.

But, he's the Amor. He gets what he wants.

So, begging to his family, throwing a quite embarrassing tantrum, he managed to...

"MOM! DAD!" You yelled at your parents as they stopped arguing. The dark circles below their eyes were a signal that something's wrong. Terribly wrong.

They looked at each other before your mother gave a pointed look at your dad.

"Do not tell them." Your mother seethed, but your dad groaned.

"They deserve to know!"

"But they don't live here anymore! They don't have anything to do with our debts!"

Debts? Your parents had debts?

You looked at them incredulously, not believing at what they're talking about right now. Your parents were pious, they never, ever had debts and always were good people. So what's with debts? And why haven't they paid it yet?

"Dad, mom, debts? You guys made sure to pay them always if you did get debts or favors or whatever." You raised your hands in disbelief. You had a bad feeling about this.

"It's just that, we somehow got debted to the Kim's." Your dad said, worried.

"Kim's?" You asked. "There's too many Kim's! Which?!"

Your gut feeling made you remember a certain playboy.

"You know, that Kpop idol Taejoon Kim. With his wife the miss Universe Alyssa Kim? Their son... Amor Kim."

Your eyes widened, a feeling of dread creeping up your back and making you shiver from the sudden chill. No way, right?

"How did you even get debted to them?" Your voice carried a humorless laugh that seeped out a bit of fear. Your parents looked at each other before your mom sighed.

"I work in that fancy hotel, right?" Your mother grimaced. "I apparently broke their pipeline? I swear I was only in the pipe system to investigate the rat problem but I bumped into a faulty pipe and now the whole hotel is flooded... That hotel was owned by Mrs. Kim..."

Your father fidgeted on the spot also, looking away.

"The company I work at, had this pipe system too, and as their main cleaning manager I manage the waterline. I thought I could fix the problem by myself... Ended up flooding the building also... Owned by Mr. Kim."

You shivered from the weird coincidence. Both pipelines? Really? How did that even happen?

"So? Both of you are going to pay for it?" You asked with a slight grit on your voice and they nodded.

They looked so defeated, it broke your heart into tiny smithereens. The anger flared up for Amor once more.

"Those rich people..." You seethed.

"It was our fault dear." Your mother cooed, hugging your frame. "I... I wasn't careful enough."

"Me too. I should have called for an expert." Your father frowned sadly.

You never felt so helpless in your entire life. If only there was a way to help them.

"How can I help..?"

This time, your parents froze and they coughed loudly, looking away.

Another bout of the twisted gut, you looked at them with worry in your eyes. "What is it?"

"I-it's nothing, dear." Your mother whispered, avoiding eye contact. "We will find a solution ourself."

"No! If I can help then I will!" You stepped up to them. Your body moving in order to meet their evasive eyes. "Please! Look at me! What is it?"

"Ah..." Your father looked at your mother before whispering something to your ear.

"No."

Goosebumps riddled your body as you froze from the sudden shock going through your form. "Marriage?! What is this?! The 17th century?!"

Your parents looked at each other before shrugging. "It's really weird, dear. There's so many other chaebols out there who's more rich than us. But why you? We're not rich at all."

The whole situation was so fishy.

And a flash of that lovesick look Amor slips through sometimes came up on your mind.

You're too smart for your own good.

You knew it was due to him.

You had enough.

You can't just let your parents suffer like this.

So, with a heavy heart and a defeated look, you held their hands and hugged them both. "Thank you for taking care of me for my whole life, mom and dad."

A loving whisper, and a touch affectionate, your parents knew of your plan. And they paled.

"No! Dear, this is not your burden to carry!" Your father shakily let out. "You... You have so much to live for!"

"Look at the bright side, dad! I will be... Uh, rich! We will be!" You reasoned, trying, scouring for the bright side to this situation. "It's okay dad. Rather than being homeless trying to find money to pay for such a huge debt. I would take this road for the both of you."

Your mother started to weep, and you inwardly died.

You can't believe Amor would stoop this low.

You don't even know him that well.

And as you, in an elaborate and extravagant wedding garment, reach your hand towards the extended ones of Amor, with that triumphant and obsessive look that you abhor, you cursed him inwardly.

You never stood a chance.

The gods are on his side after all.

You are now his, fully.

Now it's up to you if you want to make his life miserable, or melt into his arms.

[alyxdefoisnthere]

IF YOU ROLEPLAY WITH ME, DM ME, I HAVE A LINK FOR YOU 😋😋😋

Mod D: This blog has so many trigger warnings I can't be arsed to name them, so for this reason PROCEED WITH CAUTION, now you can't say I didn't warn you because it's in all caps in my intro post so haha fuck you.

I am female unless I'm not, then I'm male unless I'm not, then I'm neither unless I'm not, then I'm both unless I'm no-....... In other words, I use she/he/they pronouns.

(Yoinked from @xdynomite )

MY FRIENDS!!!! <3

-@millie-of-imp (A SECOND MOD D BLOG?! WHAAAAT?!?!)

-@alastor-the-demon (my bestest friend in all of the 9 circles of hell, like a father to me :3)

-@alastorthisisthetea (married dad)

-@siempreminta (one and only mum, is married to married dad)

-@mcalastor (minimum wage dad)

-@leo-velaz (Father Leo <3)

-@sketchbuddies (sketch and crystal are my children)

-@stampy-offical (My future husband, come at him and you'll find your heart in his hands... Literally)

-@xdynomite (my Americunt™ boy, come at me hoe)

-@bachirathebumblebee145 (my IRL school pookie, follow her or I'll hunt you down)

-@possibly-astraeus (cool guy James :D)

-@kip-davis (fellow Brit)

-@ilovemydogrykersomuch

-@ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer (my child who's older than me, hurt them and I'll kill you)

-@autistic-katara

-@astro-raven-power (My lil sis)

-@king--of--ducks (Step dad Luci, married to minimum wage dad)

-@nerdyquestier

-@cursed-cat-alastor (my pet cat because i like cats more than dogs :3)

-@flowersbringsadness (my very precious pup)

-@cherri-is-bomb (big sis cherri)

-@weapon-collector-odette (sister)

-@hoshi-neko-hikari (my child, hurt her and I hurt your knee caps)

-@velvettefashions-official (same mod as miss Rosie)

-@vox-tv-demon (my father)

-@headlessdeaddancer (my younger brother)

EVERYONE ON THIS POST IS THE GOAT AND THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT, SPAM THEM WITH ALL OF YOUR LOVE....or else

go check everyone on this post out or i will personally come to your house an make a Ramsay level meal out of you

What is my goofy ass doing right now?

I am everywhere and nowhere at the same time heeheee

in other words, cus im me, i naturally had a strike of bad luck and can now only use tumblr at my friend's house or when she's with me

Mod Status: On my period and about to puke 🥰

My dad is a prick, fuck you

NOTIFICATION GOAL: More than 3, im not online enough to care, as long as my friends who talk to me in DM's regularly respond to me, im not fussed

OMFG I HAVE A SCHEDULE?!?!

Online whenever I can when my friend is with me or I'm with her (Thank you C)

MONSTER CAN COLLECTION LIST

-Bad Apple

-Pipeline Punch

-Pacific Punch

-Lewis Hamilton (special edition)

-Ultra Black

-Orange Dreamsicle

-Mango Loco

-Khaotic

-MXXD

-Ultra Strawberry dreams

-Original

-Nitro

-White pineapple

-Ultra rosa

-Ultra golden pineapple

-Aussie Lemonade

-Ultra peachy keen

ALL ABOUT ME, MOD D

My name is Alyx Danielle GH (not giving yall my full name lmfao), I go by Danielle both here and IRL. I dont like the name Alyx because I associate it with the trauma I went through as a young child and I hate the fact my PRICK OF A DAD chose that name. My dad is not a very nice parent, he told me I would be a druggie, alchie (alchoholic) and a slag by the time im 16, yeeeaahhh....real nice parenting. Im genderfluid, presenting as female, bisexual, my birthday is January 28th 2010 making me 14. I was born in a small city here in England and I am 3/4 Irish. I like to draw, read (I reccommend strangeways) and bake, I suffer with physical and mental health problems including Anxiety, ASD and ADHD. I dont like fakes, homphobes pedos, bigots, racists etc, so if youre any of these...BACK OFF OF MY SILLY AHH RP BLOG

ALL ABOUT ALYX

Alyx is alot of things, the first thing that will stick out is that she's a dark angel and resembles Alastor, they're best friends, not family, she has loads of brothers and sisters, her favourite is MJ, she has a husband (Stampy) and two daughters (Sketch and Crystal), they're adopted and she'd love a biological child one day, she herself is adopted and her mother is Dove with 2 baby sisters (Abigail and Catorina), she has quite a few fathers.....the first one she would go to is Leo, Vox, or Doves husband Alastor, she loves T to bits and if any harm comes ro anyone she knows, blood will be shed. She's mute so when she's communicating it's through a notebook and looks like "this"

VERY IMPORTANT

@leo-velaz is THE GOAT, Mod E very kindly runs my account if I'm offline for an extended period of time and I owe my entire account to them.

(The above was yoinked from @kip-davis)

[stillaclownlol]

Lgbtqia+ hcs because I don't know if I'm gonna make it till June lmao (or, if I'm gonna live after it since I'm planning on wearing my flags In public 🤡)

Tw for csa mentions (because why don't I keep projecting huh)

Ashlyn Banner

-She/Her but in a "never thought about pronouns her entire life" kinda way. Doesn't mind they/them. She likes dressing masc/feeling masc, but doesn't really like being "perceived" as masc. Like...masc on her own time lmao. (I'm projecting so hard rn). "Gender neutral" kinda- like agender- but like in a "I don't care about my gender at all I just am more used to the gender they assigned me at birth"

-Demi rose 🌹 I'm also projecting here. Takes her a while to come into her feelings, but maybe that's the "never had friends ever" coming through.

Aiden Clark

-he/him but like he won't care if you use smth else for him lol. Cis gnc kinda guy eyyyyy (better in heels than ashlyn)

-unlabeled and that's how he likes it, nobody's business who he likes kissing lol. I feel like he's kissed a guy before just to try it. On the aro-allo spectrum ngl.

Ben Clark

-He/Him, is fine with They/Them. Honestly likes getting called She/Her too but she's been pretty shy about mentioning it :") Taylor likes doing her makeup if they're having a "femme-day". Settled on genderfluid/genderflux after a while.

-Greyromantic Caedsexual (Ace). Shane was part of a group of slightly older kids, and when he was getting bullied Shane and some other kids sexually assaulted him multiple times...technically was a queer assault since Ben was seen as a sissy because his personality and hobbies were "feminine", and this was to goad him into having a physical reaction :/

Taylor Hernández

(Ngl I'm so annoyed there's not more colors but whatever)

-She/Her and They/Them, identified as cis for a long time since it was what they knew, but once she learned more about it she experimented with her gender a lot more, they identified as non-binary for a while before moving to paragirl.

-Pan to aro/ace pipeline because I'm projecting :) she didn't really handle it well at the beginning, but Ben, Ash and Aiden are all also a-spec so she had a lot of support ^_^ They felt "invalid" because of the csa they went through when they were younger and they thought it was more like a trauma response than their actual sexuality. After talking with Ben about it tho she understood that even if they were related that didn't make her any less valid.

Tyler Hernández

-He/Him cis guy I'm sorry/lh

-was kinda annoying about queer people because actually being raised as a Catholic Mexican boy makes you kinda weird (IM SORRY THIS IS JUST FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) BUT he gets better I promise

-Bisexual boyfailure and took him crushing on Logan to accept it 🤡

Logan Fields

-He/Him and a bit of a stickler about it because he gets misgendered rather frequently (less as he got older but still), doesn't mind getting called gendered terms tho (Taylor calls him "sis", and he calls himself an "Astrology girl")

-intersex, found out when he was 15ish since his puberty had been delayed, and he's really insecure about it...🙃 he was assigned male at birth so he wouldn't say he's trans, but his experiences overlap a fair bit. Takes testorone and medication because he has low electrolytes. I could write a whole essay here but I have to go soon 😭

-Gay :> He realized pretty quickly but he's intensely scared of people finding out, has only told his grandparents. They took it very well ^_^ His grandpa has some gay friends so sometimes Logan goes to the senior center to talk with them about stuff :)

[pillarsalt]

hi Im the same ex transmasc anon who sent you that aask about rhe tumblr ban thing, I did a lot of reading without forcing myself away this time. (I used to look at radblr sometimes bc I got curious, but when it started making too much sense i would make myself stop reading and tell myself I was being manipulated and try to forget about it..looking back that probably wasnt normal haha,)

I have mixed feelings tho. I don’t regret looking closer, the amount of sexism in the trans community was horrible. I think even radfems don’t understand how bad it was because it was all subtle styff. But seeing it constantly irl and online was terrible for me as a female. It gave me so much internalized misogyny, it made me hate myself and I felt worthless and stupid! and whiny! and annoying! all the time!! unless I was able to be perceived as a man. I felt like I had to be a man to have any respect in the community. I remember being so amazed to see abortion be covered by trans people I followed in even a reblog because it was the first time I saw people in the community talk about female issues at all. Even then it was covered with disclaimers and terfs DNI banners. male,opinions were always prioritized.

I thought this was dysphoria and a sign I was really a man. then I started reading radfem things and its like that feeling instantly lifted. I felt respected, listened to, even though I wasn’t speaking. It was also like all this stuff I’d internalized from being female, all the trauma around sex based oppression, was actually being addressed. in trans circles you get called a terf for acknowledging females face any kind of oppression (they acknowledge sex when it’s to talk about how hard male loneliness is on young trans women, and how the incel to trans woman pipeline happens, though…)

but the reason I have mixed feelings is bc I now feel….dumb? And afraid. And angry. I spend well over a decade being part of this community, half my friends are in the community, I’ve been trans since I was 9. My typings not the best… dyslexia sucks lol. But I like to think I’m smart. Now I don’t know,

And it makes me think totally different of these people I saw as progressive cis male allies, who were so loud about trans rights and hating JKR and terfs. Now they just feel like the same flavor of anti-feminist man I hate.

And the community is so huge and it’s so widely accepted and I don’t know how to deal!

But I am happy to be a woman now. In a healthy way I haven’t been for a long time. thats all that matters.

I'm sorry for everything you were put through. Many girls and women have been sucked into this thinking it will provide a solution for their distress at the social ramifications of the body they're born in, only for more people, namely men, to take advantage of their distress and gain power over them. As you mentioned, even "cis" men get in on the action when they justify intimidating and threatening women with violence in response to perceived transphobia. It's a terrible situation to be in. Made worse when you can't openly talk about with people you're close to for fear of alienating them.

I think you should give yourself more credit. You ARE smart. You questioned what you were told was never allowed to be questioned and realized you were being misled. And what you said about trying to make yourself forget the realizations you've had, that is normal. It's a difficult and scary thing to hold opinions that conflict with those of the majority of your peers. I think it's like the climax of cognitive dissonance -- when what you know is true clashes so hard against what you want to believe, you find it impossible to justify anymore, so you just resort to pretending you never learned the information in the first place. Been there.

I'm just being a stereotype now, but there's a classic Dworkin quote for this:

"Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships."

Anyway my point is, don't beat yourself up. I'm really happy to read that you're accepting your womanhood, it's a hard journey but it's worth it to have a good relationship with yourself. And in my experience (at the sage and wisened age of 25) that it gets easier as you get older. You work through mistakes, and that prepares you to handle the next mistake better. You're right, your health and happiness is all that matters, keep striving for that and it will steer you right.

I wanted to give you some reading recommendations, you mentioned you have dyslexia but I believe these two are available in audiobook form if that's up your alley:

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez

There are tons more great books on feminism but these two are my go-tos for hard facts on gender, socialization, and the systematic discrimination against women worldwide through biases that are built into society.

Well uh; TLDR thanks for gracing my inbox, anon :) Hope you keep well.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypasta pride headcanons because its pride month

i dont think im gonna tag this since its just personal hcs and i rarely include my personal lgbt hcs in my normal posts shrugshrug.. asides nina, i use my personal hcs for nina in normal posts because those hcs are so deeply ingrained in how i perceive them LMAO notes: not an x reader post, VERY short post, as mentioned above the only character hcs that effect my main writing is ninas hcs the others so not control my normal x reader posts that get requested! if any characters have confirmed identities from their creators LET ME KNOW! i dont keep up with stuff outside of the original stories!

SLENDERMAN

doesnt really do labels and doesnt really know any. he does know that there are different identities but its not really anything that matters to him. responds to any pronouns though! grayromantic, or even aromantic, same with sexual attraction!

SPLENDORMAN

knows about identities and labels a bit thanks to interacting with humans! is fine with any pronouns but defaults to he/it/they! pansexual demiromantic! hip hip hooray!

TRENDERMAN

similar to splendor with the "knows identities and what they are/mean" thing. primarily uses he/him pronouns but sometimes uses it! attracted to men and masc presenting folk! asexual

JEFF THE KILLER

trans female to male, uses he/him pronouns! bisexual king, has no real preference i think... not much to say here! a lot of these are going to be short!

JANE THE KILLER

i hop between headcanoning her being lesbian or bisexual with a HEAVY lean to women. alternatively i can see her being a lesbian who IDs as bi/unaware that they arent actually attracted to men. uses she/her pronouns

BEN DROWNED

little guy

LAUGHING JACK

knows about labels and stuff but jack personally is unlabeled and just doesnt care about putting any names to how he feels. responds to any pronouns, perhaps GNC because he has many interests that are usually associated with both genders... attracted to all genders, develops crushes easily so i dont think he falls under the aro spectrum if he were to pick any labels

EYELESS JACK

unlabeled for the most part but he does have "maybe" identifiers to help communicate what he knows he likes/identifies as! uses he/they pronouns, demiromantic! attracted to both sexes, fine with dating all genders

LAUGHING JILL

demiromantic lesbian, demigirl me thinks! uses she/they/it pronouns

NINA THE KILLER

genderfluid and uses any pronouns at any given time, truly does not care how you refer to them! pansexual

MASKY

demiromantic and asexual uses any pronouns but tends to use he/it :)! no preference for gender in terms of dating

HOODIE

panromantic and demisexual, i think! him and masky are probably the least developed in terms of these sorts of hcs so these hcs are likely to change! uses he/it pronouns though tends to default to he/him

TICCI TOBY

uses just he/him pronouns, i think hes questioning a lot of his stuff and for the most part just labels himself as questioning. exploring isnt really his priority, he kind of just lets what feels right guide him when navigating relationships! can see him being a demiboy but not knowing of the label/being aware... but on the other hand he gives such trans man vibes.. double headcanon like jane- i can see toby as either or! we love multi sets of hcs in this house

Edit: Toby's confirmed bisexual let's fucking GOOOOO!! Question/unsure to bisexual pipeline by beloved + my personal experience (I no longer ID as bi BUT!!!!!)

[bazooka-overkill]

MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁

[rfdiscoursethrowaway]

alr fucker ill bite

im trying 2 understand the absolute fuckin brainrot that is terf ideology solely so i can explain to people who actually want to make an effort to not be bigoted not fall into your pipelines. i do this already. but i wanna be more thorough and get screenshots and examples for specific questions. ill do a lil back and forth, but you wont be convincing me that all trans women are pedos n rapists and that we need to detransition people en mass and that trans people are delusional. i have a series of questions, if you consider yourself a terf please try and actually answer them, in a way that actually explains your thought process and isnt just calling me slurs because thats most of the discourse on this site. -------

how do you mentally justify the contridiction in "male and female brains have no difference and women are just as capable as men" (true and real) and "men are fundimentally more violent/ women less violent" besides just blatently liking sexism so long as it hurts men and not women (blatently harmful and bigoted just with a #girlpower coat of paint)

if its a socialization issue, how does female seperatism nessisarily help that? shouldnt the goal then to not treat women as an other, and to not define people based on biological characteristics? while biological differences exist they dont affect your mental or phisical capabilities in anything (in regards to biological sex atleast). wouldnt it be more helpful to treat it as simply a medical thing? like a blood type or something? and treat genital preference as just the same as any other random aesthetic preference in partners like, idk, liking fat people or likeing brown hair what is it about gender based oppression that makes you think that its the men that are the problem and not the whole gender thing, because its men thinking that women are fundimentally different alien creatures because we literally define people by their genitals and constantly talk about how your genitals make you fundimentally different then the "opposite". an ACTUALLY HELPFUL soution should be talking about how like, yeah! some of us look different, but thats like? fine? we are people. who cares whats in that person pants. and if your answer is that thats unrealistic and will require hundreds of years of societal change (true) why is your approach to double down on men and women being fundimentally different and not to like? work? twards something objectively better and less discriminatory? most of what terfs are known for is bigotry and thats not some crazy coincidence, its because your sexism (though you love to label it otherwise) naturally leads to transphobia. its because the core of your ideology is bigotry. women shouldnt be discriminated against cuz you are? fucking people? with the exact same capabilities, you do not deserve more/less praise more/less accountablitity more/less agency. infact id argue that this bending over backwords to try and exclude people you deem as men is why radfems are so much more of a pushover to conservatives. your willingness to go on and on about how biological differences make you a fundimentally different person just so you can rant about how men are all ugly evil penis havers just lets you be suseptible to violent reactionary shit by conservatives. regardless of where you come from politically, this applies to BOTH of us, if you refuse to really think deeply and critically about why you hate the things you do and why you like the things you do, and instead operate on gut reactions and absorbing politics from people on tumblr SOMEONE from SOME IDEOLOGY is always trying to take advantage of that. and transphobia IS violent reactionary shit, most the time i see transphobia especially against trans women its based entirely on appearance, people jumping all over themselves to body shame her for not being enough of a woman, talking about how gross and disgusting she is for wearing a dress or for having a deeper voice. why is this body shaming ok so long as you deem someone a man? attatching morality to appearance is just a blatently bad idea and its frankly gross how little so many of you are willing to critique that.

-----

whats your explaination for the tonal dissonance between "i dont want trans people dead and im not violent" and painting trans women as "always being men with terrible intentions who cosplay as women to have an excuse to rape and assault people"

because while you may not directly say "i think all trans people should be murdered" and you do it in a roundabout way with "all trans people are rapists and all rapists should be murdered" that does still say "i think all trans people should be murdered", just with extra steps. and are you aware that this is the exact retoric used by colonizers to justify genocide and slavery? painting black people as "savages and rapists"? whats your justification for painting a large group of people as fundimentally evil and violent, and how nessasarily is it somehow different then the retoric used to oppress any other marginalized group? + if its a "but im right!" consider this is also what a rapist or an antisemite or a mysogenist would say, and why you are parroting the exact same thing. like do you genuinely actually think that having a boy brain, or more testosterone, or a penis, makes you a rapist and a pedofile? really? and again if you agree with me that its a socialization issue why! dont you! treat it that way!! if you mean one thing, SAY THAT! and FIGURE OUT WITCH ONE OF THOSE YOU BELIEVE. because you cant fuckin have it both ways! if you wanna say that we shouldnt be treating women as stupid vile little vagina having worms (real and true) then like, you cant ALSO be like oh i also think we should be treating men as stupid vile little penis having worms >:) hehe i am so progressive and counter culture ignore all the horrific damage that catagorizing people like that has had i think it will be funny when we do it with men you see.

-----

what is with this insistance that people define themselves based on whats in their pants, like if having a pussy is just having a pussy thats fuckin fine alr but if you start insisting that people make that their ENTIRE PERSONALITY and that if you have one you HAVVVEEEE to have only a specific subsection of names and you HAVEEEE to be called a woman and use she/her and shit

like girl it is just words, who gives a fuck, if a guy says hey i wanna change my name to this girl name cuz it sounds cool as fuck its like! yea! hell yeah brother! and if hes like actually i prefer more feminine words to refer to me :) its like! hell yeah sister! how does that hurt fuckin anyone. is using words so hard 4 u. and before you be like ooOOuuyhghhg IM NOT DEFINING PEOPLE BASED ON THEY ARE PUSSY how is catagorizing people based on their chromosomes / genitals / appearance (and lets be honest here. its mostly appearance but you use chromosomes and genitals so you can pretend theres some kind of science proving that youre right, there is no chromosome detector 3000 for real life) not flattening them? like genuinely how the fuck do you justify that. you have to go to a different bathroom you have to go to a different doctors office you have to go to a different sports team all because i assume that your chromosomes and your genitals make you eaither unsafe or violent or constantly in need of protection and fundimentally less capable. terfs love to constantly insist that gender is whatever and then constantly try to force people to define themselves by their biological sex? why is whats in MY pants any of your fucking buisness? unless im at a gynocology appointment you dont need to know shit. all of this girlsgirlsgirlsgirls stuff what if you dont wanna be called a fuckin girl? what if i find it weird that you profile people and assume things about them because of their body? if gender is whatever why do you HAVE to be a male or a female. why do i have to fucking put my biology out on display for people to assume things about me based on? because i KNOW you assume things based on peoples biological sex and i KNOW you think more or less of people based on their biological sex thats half the ideology! why do you think every trans women is a sexist mysogenist who woke up one day at 24 and decided she was gonna be a girllll and wear dresses so she could opress woemennn moreeeee, why do you assume all trans men were groomed and exploited and brainwashed into thinking that theyre boys because of mysogeny and not cuz sometimes? being called a dude feels good? having a dick feels good? having a flat chest feels good? using he him or whatever the fuck feels good??? rad fem shit is just, sexism repackadged, do you never see the similarities? do you never see the fine print? that the core ideology is the same? this is just mysogeny again! like women are always the victim and men are always the perpetraitor. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency women do bad things because theyre dumb and men do bad things because they had a good reason to. is just women have fundimentally less agency and men more agency please explain how that ISNT just the same mysogenist veiwpoints with a hashtag girlboss coat of paint. and this isnt me projecting mysogenistic right wing ideas onto you, i wrote all this stuff while looking through "radfem101" "terf reference guide" "things TRA's need to get thru their heads" posts. theres a reason people get them confused, ive been told these exact same things time and time again by alt rights and conservatives and mysogenists. so witch are you? why do you agree on so much?

-----

how do you deal with the whole, not wanting womens genitals to be constantly policed and have that be all that defines them (true and real) and the very real fact that there is no chromosome detector 3000 and if you want to create "female only spaces" you realistically are eaither going to have to subject billions of women on a daily basis to sexual harrassment to see if they are "real women" or do it just based on appearance. witch is enevitibly going to cause a disproportionate ammount of hate and violence twards black, gnc, and intersex women for not being "women" enough. something that is already happening, because trying to give rigid requirements for what looks like a woman and what looks like a man is always going to impact these groups disproportionately, you know its gonna be based off of like a white skinny cis girl! and uh! not all women are that!

and assuming there is a chromosome dectector 3000 in the future, a) intersex people b) trans men exist, and while im sure you can argue day and night about how they arent real men and phallo dicks are just a mutilated skin tube or whatever half of what you guys talk about is how you feel unsafe being in the same bathroom as someone who "looks like a dude" and who has a penis. considering the strictness in needing 100% gender conformity in trans women im sure the exact same people wouldnt be comfortable with a trans guy eaither, if youd feel ok just so long as they had the right reading on the chromosome dectector 3000 then all this talk about trans women being violent cuz penis and body hair and testosterone is just bullshit. and sense terfs love to play hypotheticals with 100% cis dudes just telling people theyre girls so they can get through the female bathroom security (a thing that totally exists believe me guys) (and also yeah telling a police officer that youre "just a trans girl" would totally actually help you in a legal case dont google trans panic defence shhhhhh its ok its ok, statistics you dont read from "xxvaginawomxngirlfucker" arent real its ok,,) couldnt a cis dude just lieeee about being a trans man? whos saying nobody can lie about my chromosome detector 3000 score! are you gonna put a bouncer in the female bathroom security gates? and like, where do trans people even pee then. we just rename the mens bathroom to the trannies and mysogenists room? the biologically more violent room? yeah lets shove a bunch of little intersex girls into the violent mysogenists room, she had body hair and a harsher jawline and that scared me so im lumping her into the room with all the people i think are pedos and rapists, she will feel totally ok about this and this wont effect her perception of herself, this wont enforce gender roles and make women having a complex about being feminine enough worse. women can be anything! except anything i think looks like a guy. so women can be feminine and nothing else :) but women can be anything i put in this super limiting box! i genuinely cannot imagine a world where this doesnt dramatically worsten sexual phisical and emotional violence against literally everyone.

and to say again. im not looking for quirky rebloggable snapbacks to each of my points i want you 2 put an equal ammount of effort as i did scrolling terflandia and writing all this up. so dont just call me a delusional tr-nny i want you to give me like. atleast a little substance here. something to chew and bite and pick apart

[scaly-freaks]

im curious about the relationship between Alicient and Rhaenyra in your fic, it seems like Alicient is trying to save Rhaenyra and her boys, is it out of guilt? And what about Rhaenyra, how does she feels about Alicient now, is the power dynamic (her being a scorned princess and Alicient the most powerful woman in Westeros) stopping her from letting her true emotions show? This context of Rhaenyra losing the war and keeping her head is so underdeveloped yet it's so interesting and intriguing, thank you for exploring it

Aaahhh I just finished answering a comment on AO3 along this same vein! Coinky-dink!

Alicent is - plain and simple - massively in love with her princess still. In fact, Rhaenyra is currently in the same position as Amara, aka this pretty songbird trapped in a cage, being fed lovingly by the hands of her captor who she has complex feelings for (and vice versa). It's almost insane how much Aegon's life parallels Alicent's in this, because he claims to not understand why his mother would be so kind to the sister she helped usurp, but then he's kind to Amara despite making it very obvious her options outside of him are limited.

Rhaenyra definitely is conflicted about Alicent. She notices things like her soft red hair but labels it a taunt. She still remembers burning with jealousy when she found out her father visited Alicent every night after their wedding, and the hell it was to be aware of it. I think when Alicent visits, she's relieved to have another adult on her level to speak to, and she probably wants to give into the Stockholm Syndrome when the Dowager Queen is obviously tender with her (as much as she can be). But it might not be in her best interest to get close to Alicent again. Otto Hightower is still alive after all, and the king would happily go against his mother if it means spiting his sister some more; if anything, when Aegon realises Rhaenyra is opening up to Alicent again (thanks to the spies at Dragonstone) he'd probably shut his mother out of the small council. Currently, Alicent probably mentions things that happen in the small council to Rhaenyra without being asked, and that pipeline of information can be very useful (even if it's just supposedly mundane stuff a lot of the time, for instance grain shortages, or the threat of a plague).

Rhaenyra's figured out by now that her stony attitude keeps Aegon's attention fixed on her alone, to make her life a misery, but that lessens the attention that might fall on her boys (hunting down the Strongs, or taking away the two youngest). He hates her and she wants to keep reminding him of that so the others can go free.

I think she also is aware Aemond and Aegon aren't the bestest bros in all of Westeros (unlike Sunfyre and Aegon) so Rhaenyra could very well decide to sit back and wait for something to go down between them. If it does, she has two legitimate sons from Daemon who are still technically in the male line to the throne (Egg is currently 5th and Viserys is 6th, so it's really not that far considering how volatile dragon wars are and how suddenly infants can die - Jaehaerys is still at a very vulnerable age).

Despite it all, deep down, Rhaenyra knows Alicent better than anyone else currently alive (because how much does Otto truly know his own daughter when he can't even predict when she'll go against him). She still makes exceptions for her, decides that it isn't Alicent's choice to do this to her, that Alicent is still just the nervous, nail-biting, people-pleasing tender young girl she used to be. She's giving into the Stockholm to feel less lonely and return to the old warmth of her childhood companion that she used to know.

p.s. Alicent definitely chose to do all of this to her, to be a part of why Rhaenyra is currently in a cage, but that's the complex nature of the situation I suppose.

[achaotichuman]

Surprise self-rec time! Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics

OMG YES I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

A Witch A Warrior And A Reckoning

I am super proud of this one, it's the first piece of writing I've made where I outlined everything and prepped before actually going ahead and posting (Im usually a *follow the vibe* kinda guy) My writing style is pretty developed now and I think it really shines through with this one. Especially because of how many of my OC's are featured here.

Summary-

Life is peaceful for Dahlia Fairburn, running with her War Band, and commanding the Spring Court armies. Since the day she could wield a sword, she's been helping her father, along with her younger brother, to restore Spring to its former glory. Trying to ignore the festering magic in her body, that threatens to consume her.

One day, all that peace is threatened to be shaken, as a certain prince of Night asks for her to join the rebellion of the Hewn City and Illyria. From beneath the great mountains, an ancient song calls for her. She meets a woman with death in her eyes, and power in her veins, who makes Dahlia's blood boil while something clicks into place between them.

This new generation of Prythian was thought to be one of peace and prosperity. But the mask of the reigning High Lords begin to crumble, as secrets older than Prythian itself are uncovered, and darkness is unleashed.

An ACOTAR next generation fanfiction

How Nesta Archeron Learned To Trap A Beast

I never thought in a million years this would get nearly the amount of attention that it did, but it is now my most popular fic to date. I started writing it because of a poll @kateprincessofbluewhales did about who would take Nesta on a camping trip instead of the Hike from Hell. And an anon suggested Tamlin. I was like "lol that would be so funny" and now it has over 225 kudos and 130 subscriptions

Summary-

When given the choice of being locked up in the House of Wind with the male she despises, or returning to the Human Lands where she will no doubt face certain death. Nesta Archeron takes her chances and decides to return to the Mortal World. However, she is going on her own. After catching a ship and landing herself in Summer, Nesta makes her way through the Spring Lands with one goal in mind, make it to her old home alive without being trapped by any other beastly Faeries.

Little did she know she might be the one catching the beastly Faery.

Crippled by memories and loneliness weighing down on him, Tamlin is near the verge of ending it all. His home is in ruins, his only company the dripping in the corner of the room and sometimes the singing of birds. As his thoughts spin him in circles Tamlin doesn't think life will ever be better than this. Then someone with silver eyes and bad attitude sets foot in his lands.

And well.... Tamlin had never been taught to not poke sleeping bears.

A Court of Song and Desolation

This fic was born from the vibes it has. I was up at 2am on a random Monday night with work the next day, and my writing group sent through a prompt for us to write about. I was struggling with what to write, and then as I was typing something about a beast in a cage, the idea came to make it about Tamlin. Yada yada yada, I turned it into an angsty Tamcien oneshot, and decided "well if anyone wants more (which I doubt they will) Ill make another chapter" Then someone commented they want more and I was sent down the pipeline of hyperfixation. And here we are!

Summary-

She had eyes like starlight and a grin that could outshine the moon, "We'll rule the world."

"What if we fail?"

"Then we'll burn it all down."

In hindsight maybe it could only have ever ended like this. Making a man who was never made to rule, High lord. This was all inevitable.

With his Court in ruins and everyone gone, Tamlin lives amongst the broken pieces of his Court and has no intentions of changing that. Lucien, however, will not stand to leave his oldest friend alone.

When Lucien takes Tamlin back to the human lands, they discover a darkness coming for Prythian. If something does not stop it, it will completely rewrite the way Faeries and humans alike live as they know it

[a-wilson-collector]

I LIVED BITCH

(cw: noncon/rape, guns, disregard for gun safety, family abuse, forced isolation, medical neglect)

wanted to save this post for until i got to a safe place, but now that i am, i can give y'all a reason why i didn't post much if at all.

its mostly because of my family.

on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the worst, 1 being the best) my mom and dad are 10, most of my dad's side of the family is like, 9.5 outside of grandma n pa. they are like an 8 or 7 depending on how pissy/petty i feel about them. my brother is like, 4. and my sister is the only one whose normal about everything so she's a 1.

the reason my mom n dad are so highly rated is because my mom would lowkey ghost me for the entire summer when school stopped, and my dad is, well, according to mom- "he never takes no as an answer."

makes me think about why i always gravitated towards noncon fanfics for wilson/maxwell. Im still working on that.

grandma n pa are 8 because my grandma defends my dad (and pretty much any violent male member of the family) and my grandpa WAVED A FUCKING LOADED GUN IN MY FACE on the day of the move. if his hand was NOT on the trigger, he could've shot me in any part of my body including my head

my brother is a 4 because he hasn't apologized for beating the shit out of me almost every day until i was 16, but he's gotten a lot better at controlling his anger.

my sister was the only one who realized that the only way she was going to stay in my life was being cautious, but also realizing why i wanted out so bad, since she went through most of this herself.

outside of that, i hid most of my art from my family because i could NOT handle the disappointment that my family would show if that their "adorable daughter" drew a guy ripping his face off, or drawing porn (tho that wasnt until years later, obviously.) thats why most of my art is violent or violent in nature. its what i grew up in. constant fights all the time. cps was called a few times but they didnt do anything outside of adding to the trauma pile

im tired and finally in a safe environment where i wont be threatened to be shipped off my dad's place, which, if that was to happen... I'd lose all of my support network, including doctors and psychiatrists. I'd be completely shut off from the outside world, including my boyfriend and friends on discord. in his mind, the internet is the reason i have such high needs, instead of, y'know, THE 'TISM.

as for my past, i have gone by "noonfish" or some variation of that on tumblr, but that was while i was stuck somewhere in the alt-right rabbit hole on yt since most of my family loves trump, which is why i nuked all of them. I am deeply ashamed of my past and i'm still working on it, i know i can be better tomorrow than i was today. If i had a nickel for every time my grandma defended a rapist, I'd have three nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened with three people.

i understand if people also stop following for my previous "ties" to the alt right (i was pretty surface level, mainly memes), however i was like, what, 16? and extremely isolated to boot. Thank fuck i got anti-psychotics. i was losing my mind for YEARS due to undiagnosed schizo-affective disorder, which was in play since i was 8. I still remember the time i missed my bus going home from school in elementary school, and when my mom had me in the car, she drove into a parking space and proceeded to yell at me to stop telling the teachers because "i was scaring them" because i kept seeing shadow people in the hallways. all the doctors just assumed I was being racist or something? im not sure about that but the only thing that came out of that was me getting glasses (which, tbh i did in fact, need)

after that, it went lowkey until middle/high school, where it resurfaced again and will continue until i fucking die, so thats fun. if I didn't have schizo-affective disorder, i probably still would've fallen for the alt-right pipeline on yt when i was a child (because of unsupervised access to the internet), but at least i'd be able to make a coherent statement about it. i still hate all those people that helped make my mental illness worse to the point i thought only ohio existed for like, 6 months. shit was awful.

so yeah, thats why i've been so on n off. hope to get some art soon since its about time i should do a full render. maybe it will be two girls kissing.

[booblywooblies]

im gonna post this here bc i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea on main

ive been thinking for a long time about why detransitioners are usually afab, and i think im developing a couple theories. the first one is i think its more difficult to be classified as a man, genuinely, than a woman. i know that seems immediately incorrect bc a big aspect of transmisogyny is denying transfems their womanhood but i think even if transphobes are calling transfems men they dont really mean it. theres been some talk about which trans people have "male privilege" and some people argue transfems do and the most common response to that is that even if transfems are not out they are not regarded as true men, theres something about them that people can pick up on as inherently queer that others them from manhood (sometimes, all of this is sometimes nothing is universal)

i watched a video a while ago about the "incel to trans pipeline" which was kind of about the type of incel that isnt so much concerned with the lack of sex so much as being a failure as a man and how theres a group on like 4chan or something that seek transition not because theyre trans but to escape the pressures of masculinity and i thought that was really interesting

i think that in some ways, despite all the bullshit women go through with being belittled and objectified and disrespected, there is maybe some comfort in being the "weaker" gender, and the more "desireable" gender.

something ive been dealing with that, i mean it hasnt really been a struggle bc i enjoy men even when they are fat and greasy and hairy so im down with being that. theres something thats very weird about losing like, a certain pool of attention i guess. ive been hit with the realization that i will never be attractive to straight men again, and like thats a good thing because i wouldnt want them to see me as a woman im also kinda sad about it? like it feels like im losing a kind of power, even if its not a real power that has any actual use to me

and i probably dont even have to mention how intimidating it is to present myself to the world as a real man, especially when im 5 foot nothing and have H cups. like one thing when it comes to trans men that EVERYONE says about them is they are either basically only men in name, hanging on to their girly habits and interests in a way thats cringy and annoying, or they, in an effort to distance themselves from the first one just adopt toxic masculinity and beef up their own image of themselves by being more misogynistic

and obviously the first end is more on the people putting them down than the guys who are like that themselves, but thats what im really afraid of, ive already experienced being put down for my interests as a girl, the idea of being denied my real gender for any of that stuff is terrifying. and like, its kind of inherently misogynist to want to escape fully from femininity isnt it? and i do value anti-misogyny more than i do masculinity, thats definitely true in my heart. but it sort of feels at odds with each other, its hard to want to be a man, to seek approval as a man, to care about women being taken as seriously as you want to be taken, and to not put anyone down in your path to get there.

like if i wasnt so committed to it, if i believed this was ACTUALLY more in conflict than i really do, i could see myself as having a responsibility to not transition. im sure a lot of people have a different reason for doing that but i think it makes sense that so many afabs detransition because masculinity can break people.

and like BIG BIG BIG disclaimer, im not thinking about detransitioning, i dont think masculinity is inherently toxic, im gay and i have a cis husband, i think men are cool, i think women are cool and i like them a lot i respect them. im just inspecting this because i was not sure why it happens and i figured itd be in my best interest to figure it out, i think i have, i think its difficult and complicated but doesnt apply to me.

im transitioning bc it feels good and i have a man fetish 👍 and no one can stop me motherfucker

[princessazalea17]

On the topic of gatekeeping and how social media turns childhood and teenage nostalgia/trauma/interests into memes and trends

This is a hot one. I got into a fight with an ex-friend about this, which was a big thing that led to the death of our friendship. Looking back, I don't blame the guy. I have had my fair share of songs that I used to have on repeat back in high school and got made fun of for listening to. Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon was a big one, now known as a sigma male meme song. Another one is King For A Day by Pierce The Veil. A third one is Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. Take any emo nostalgia song that you hear being played all over social media, and you have a peek into my high school playlist.

If you're into core music, specifically deathcore, you have To The Hellfire by Lorna Shore, now made a meme by thousands on TikTok, highlighting Will Ramos's pig squeals towards the end of the song. If you're on emo or metal TikTok/Reels in general, you will hear the same nostalgia songs over and over. The same can be said with goth tiktok and any other alternative subculture. Even if you're not part of a specific subculture, there will always be that one song or artist that used to be a huge part of you growing up that has now turned into a trendy internet meme, which is why a lot of people have expressed their frustration on the app about "songs being brought to TikTok and turned into ___" (coquette, sigma, scenecore, big titty goth gf, e-girl, etc.)

I will admit that I have gotten so sick of hearing Pierce the Veil and Bring Me The Horizon on social media that I have stopped listening to them entirely. At the same time, social media has introduced me to new songs and artists - Violent VIRA, La Dispute, Destroy Lonely, Odetari, 6arelyhuman, Crystal Castles, Aphex Twin, Whirr, Lana Del Rey, Cocteau Twins, and Alex G, to name a few.

The same can be said with fashion trends. It's like every year (or every few years), there's a new trend. As of right now, it's Stanley Cups, even though I still have my hydroflasks from university from back when VSCO girls were still in.

I remember the era of TikTok when everyone was a mallgoth, indie kid, or a bunny hat scenecore kid, a.ka. the Brooklyn Bloodpop era - this was the year that introduced me to artists like Jazmin Bean, Sewerslvt, and Crystal Castles. Then I noticed a bunch of lovetheflex drainer girl lookalikes-- this is when I got introduced to artists like Yeat, Bladee, and DestroyLonely. Then, the year after that, I noticed an uptick in people on my FYP dressing in trad-goth attire - this is how I got introduced to post-punk bands like Bauhaus and Siouxsie and the Banshees. Now, I'm seeing a lot of "lainpilled coquette" "grippy sock vacation" "im so silly :3" "femcel" content and "Deftones girls" - this is how I learned about artists like Fiona Apple, Salvia Palth, Radiohead, Deftones, Bôa, and Aphex Twin.

Coquette is the new trend, and it has been associated with pushing harmful agendas like EDs/fat phobia and glorifying mental illness, even linking young women to the alt-right pipeline by pushing trad-wife lifestyles. Keep in mind that a couple of years ago, e-girls were the ones who were previously thought to be the ones who were falling down this pipeline, given YouTube's algorithm of linking gamers to right-wing videos (hello, 2016!). Some people will even liken the coquette or cutecore aesthetic to a more feminine, soft version of being a sigma male or a femcel.

Will finish this probably tomorrow since I'm tired. But this is a huge topic that I have been dying to address.

[sunspira]

i often feel like the male socialization claim against trans women is bullshit but also has some "passing privilege" discourse aspects to it to unpack. and yet the specific damage and suffering of someone forced to pass and hide is sometimes HARDER to put into words and eats her from the inside out more insidiously and with less support systems for it or even Words for it just having words for misogyny can help us cope with the oppression be heard and validated and fight it when when youre a cis woman and have always be sure and assured that you are. that's why so many trans women are facing material oppression like poverty and mental illness (like actual mental illness caused by lifelong pain and trauma not the transphobic idea). tho even then there are such insidious, invisible aspects of misogyny that all women even we as cis girls are still trying to identify unpack and uplift each other out of so it's still a concern that runs deep. for me a lack of girls in stem is still so insidious and i would even give priority to helping more cis girls into stem because that pipeline to arts and humanities (and domestication) vs stem is pushed on kids and adolescents more subtly than the more obvious blantant misogyny. they don't outright say "oh you look like a boy to me you should work on computers" it comes in the form of subtle praise for one academic or life skill and subtle discouragement for another academic or life skill from adults who assigned your gender. so we say ya ok cool :) they're so proud of me :) not even cis women have put good words to it yet or figured out a good fight for it so we aren't really better off than trans girls in this aspect as we are on like more well established fights like autonomy in reproductive health or the right to vote or work

the passing privilege discourse thing to me isvery similar to a white passing person of color or a person with an invisible illness or disability or a gay guy who has a traditionally masculine personality. like a fem gay guy who was considered obviously gay since birth have problems that people who can kinda hide it don't and their childhood homophobia experiences were so different. tho still homophobia. but the people who can hide it are also forced to hide it, even from themselves!!?!. trans girls in childhood aren't visible girls until they come out. being closeted isn't a privilege but we know that invisibility vs hyper visibility are different kinds of pain that don't really counteract each other. also to be clear it's the aspect of being a GIRL that is invisible. often a trans girl is very visibly marginalized for not conforming to whatever a boy ks supposed to be. tho feminine boys and girls still have different experiences under misogyny where someone seen as a feminine boy is the indirect target. and how horrific that must be to homophobically / patriachically marginalized for not being the right kind of boy and on top of that like IM NOT EVEN A BOY LEAVE ME ALONE. it must be hell. it's not supposed to be about how easy it was for trans girls for fucks sake that's so deluded or that trans girls had the same experiences as cis het boys. it is usually just helpful to look at like opportunities and protections afforded to you by not being a visible girl like Mulan being encouraged and taken more seriously as Ping stuff like that is actually very healing to go over in your mind and process.

for me it was the dichotomy of having a serious but invisible childhood neurological disorder or difference but never being diagnosed until late in life early adulthood because i had atypical symptoms and was good in school. and i can't tell you how important it is formatively to be good in school and be able to blend in well enough to not get called out of class for extra help and not get bullied. but also the lack of help and slow invisible descent into madness and detachment from myself and denial of my own emotions and stressors and detachment from my soul while 24/7 masking and confusion every time i felt differently from what was expected like averse and avoidant and anxious or overwhelmed over "abnormal" things, or struggled with something that should be easy for "someone like me", i would just self gaslight and self deny and self blame. culminating in complete and total nervous mental breakdown at like 21 and at least a decade of recovery. with all that of COURSE i am sometimes gripped by envy of people who were diagnosed as young children as intended and spent their whole life knowing the most simple neurodivergent stuff about themselves like sensory overload because without that label when experiencing sensory overload i'm telling you it just seems like random bipolar mood swings, no wonder they put me on lithium. it was hell. and yet when i look at neurdivergent people who are so much more openly and obviously impaired than me and that increased NEED and severity is part of the reason they were dx'd in the first place, who are forced into abusive aba therapy and go nonverbal and want a relationship but struggle to connect with people irl or even go out or be allowed to go out. well i would never pretend like i have it harder in that regard even tho the experience of being undiagnosed were awful. not the cleanest comparison tho but

that hypervisibility vs invisibility thing. and the ramifications of being abused or controlled and silenced for a visible marginalization vs the life long debilitating scars and damage done by suppressed repressed and gaslighted marginalization is how i look at cis girls childhoods vs trans girls childhoods. cis hypervisible girlhood vs trans invisible girlhood. is this anything

[quidfree]

Do you like Greek myths? If so, which is your favourite epic/tale and who is your favourite hero?

i was obsessed with greek mythology when i was about 8-10 thanks to some books i read, and then i naturally read the percy jacksons in middle school (and did a tiny bit of ancient greek in class too now that i think about it), so that all has stayed with me even though it’s been a while since i read any greek myths. i really enjoy how broad the canon is and the (in)humanity of the various big players.

very henry winters of me but i do love the homeric epics. i think the illiad takes it in terms of cast. a lot of the gods get really good interpretations too. athena is very fun in both texts. lot of love for achilles repping the demigod mythos with all his oversize feelings. odysseus is great in all his shenanigans.

in terms of favourite hero tales… hm idk. it’s been a while since i engaged with those at the source i got a lot more into the greek tragedy pipeline from high school onwards so im very for the girlies (antigone, elektra, medea, etc). but if i cast my mind back… idk the male heroes stressed me out. hercules is an asshole. jason got his successes handed to him. i guess perseus killed his mom’s abuser at least. orpheus made me sad. oh scrap all of those i just remembered i used to love the prometheus myth- so maybe he takes it. love an origin story.

weirdly i got another ask close to yours about greek gods and such so i’ll save those for that. but this was fun to reflect on thank you- i’m sure more answers will come to me shortly that i’ll be kicking myself for not including.

[redheadbigshoes]

hello… i can’t tell if i’m a bisex with a hyuge preference for women, or a lesb. i’ve had crushes on guys before, but i tend to crush on every male i come across (i went to an all girls school so they were few and far between), plus i only saw these males irl for at MOST 14 days, usually only about 3 days, the rest was online, and i didn’t see them. i’ve been very internalized misogyny and homophobic and always been afraid of/disdainful of lesbians because of falling down the alt right pipeline when i was 10 (out of that now thank gawd). last time i thought i was a lesbian i cried because it made me so upset… but being with a woman long term is sooo much more right than being with a male. this being said, i’ve found a journal entry from when i was 14 detailing how i loved men and how they dress… of course, this was before i got my sex drive (at which time my affection for women became unavoidable), but i do remember feeling very intense admiration writing that. im just… confused. i don’t want to appropriate lesbianism but at the same time i recently had my first kiss with a male (currently a freshman in college), and once i realized he really liked me i just… got so bored. there was nothing wrong with him beyond his pretentiousness and boringness but like. bleh. nothing compared to the girl i like now. i just hate males. sorry, but i do! i cant help it! i’ve had all positive male role models growing up, but i just don’t like to be around most of them long term. but when i am i get obsessed with quite a few them/start “crushing” immediately. what does it all mean ?!?!? im so lost, and afraid of being a lesbian, but disturbed by being a bisexual. it just doesn’t feel right!? but also i am biphobic which complicates everything. argh. ik it doesn’t matter but it does stress me out a little bit (a lot).

Hi. I think you should first question if all those crushes were actually crushes. From what you said it makes sense you (without realizing it) choosing every guy you meet to be your crush, because 1) you were probably taught that girls are supposed to like boys 2) considering you used to go to an all-girls school it also makes sense you immediately trying to find boys you like.

The second question you should ask yourself is: when you think about guys you think you like, whenever you think about them do you feel something positive? Like you feel you could date them, kiss them, perhaps have sex with them? Or maybe you feel a kind of nervousness that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable? If the answer to all those questions is no, you’re probably mistaking finding men attractive with actual attraction.

I went through the same experience you mentioned about the guy you kissed. Whenever I tried dating men the second they showed interest I’d “lose” that interest.

You should read the bisexual manifesto and see if you relate to the experiences there. Try reading the lesbian masterdoc as well (it’s on my pinned post). I posted some videos of a girl talking about comphet and other lesbian experiences here, to watch the other videos you just have to click on the tag #source: patronsaintoflesbians