leadersguilt

[leadersguilt]

from being the boy who wanted nothing more than to be the Military police and live a quiet life to becoming the man that would die proud as a member of the scout regiment, he grew up (and so did we)

[leadersguilt]

Camille Rankine, from "History", Incorrect Merciful Impulses

[leadersguilt]

jean kirstein will forever be my roman empire ....

[leadersguilt]

obsessed how it's mainly in moments of severe stress that jean smiles.

[leadersguilt]

“We…need to forgive ourselves…For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.” - Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie (via the-book-diaries)

[leadersguilt]

He’s still so cute even when he got older c’mon man

[leadersguilt]

muse demeanor and mannerisms.

bold is for what applies often. italics is for what applies sometimes/in specific circumstances.

tagged by. @teufelme (watch me tag you 293474382 times now) tagging. @plege (and all your others :P)

eyes. avoids eye contact when nervous, maintains eye contact, avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent, enjoys eye contact as a means to read and convey emotion, looks down when emotional, looks up when emotional, cries openly, wipes tears quickly, suppresses tears, wandering gaze when lost in thought, holds gaze while thinking, seeks out eye contact for reassurance, seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations, eyes move constantly during conversation, expressive eyes, emotions only evident through eyes, uses eye contact to intimidate, looks up while thinking, looks down while thinking.

hands. clasps behind back,  rests in lap,  fidgets with clothes,  twiddles thumbs,  chews at nails,  pushes back cuticles,  draws patterns on table/counter surfaces,  animated gestures while speaking (he is the WORST at this),  only gestures to emphasize,  utilizes sign language,  speaks only through sign,  callouses,  scars, smooth,  wrinkled,  worn,  soft,  delicate,  boney, slender,  thick,  veiny,  touches others while speaking,  reaches out while laughing (stopped doing this after he joined the scouts),  reaches out to comfort others,  reaches out to seek comfort,  places face in hands when exasperated,  places face in hands when exhausted,  places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed,  rests chin in hands (what is it, eren?),  taps fingers when impatient,  taps fingers when nervous,  taps fingers while thinking,  scratches scalp,  strokes chin,  rubs back of head,  toys with objects around them,  runs fingers over surfaces while walking by

mouth. chews lip,  chews at inside of cheek,  licks lips,  bites tongue,  chews on straws,  resting frown,  resting smile,  neutral resting expression,  resting pout,  grinds teeth,  flexes jaw,  covers mouth when laughing,  covers mouth when shocked,  covers mouth when concerned,  hands to lips while thinking,  covers mouth when chewing,  chews with mouth closed,  chews with mouth open,  smirks,  grins,  subtle smiles,  wide smiles,  sad smiles,  intimidating smiles,  menacing grins,  openly smiles,  tries to suppress smiles,  bares teeth when angry ( used to be for every fight until he nearly chipped a tooth from it, only when extremely mad now),  lips quiver when emotional,  stutters,  speaks quickly,  speaks slowly,  good pronunciation,  poor pronunciation,  moderate pronunciation,  purses lips,  sucks in lips,  holds mouth open when shocked or confused.

legs. bounces leg when 'nervous',  draws knees to chest when sitting,  draws knees to chest as a means of comfort,  sits on knees,  sits with legs criss crossed,  sits with legs spread open in chairs,  crosses legs when sitting in chairs,  sits with one leg folded under the other,  places feet on furniture,  never places feet on furniture,  sits on counters,  sits on desks,  sits on tables,  sits on edge of seat,  sits hunched over with forearms on knees,  arches one knee up,  sits on the arm of chairs/couches,  feet on dashboard,  swings legs back and forth when sitting somewhere elevated,  wiggles toes when nervous,  wiggles toes as a general tick,  shuffles feet,  kicks foot into ground,  stomps feet,  loud footsteps,  quiet footsteps,  silent footsteps.

hair. runs fingers through hair,  tugs at hair,  picks at scalp,  chews on hair,  twists locks of hair while thinking or nervous,  smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous (we saw that last chapter),  prefers hair out of face,  prefers long hair (you have beautiful long black hair ... ),  prefers short hair,  wears hair back,  keeps hair down,  smooths back hair,  plays with other’s hair while talking,  plays with own hair while talking,  strokes hair to 'comfort' others,  likes having hair stroked for their own comfort,  braids others’ hair while talking,  braids own hair while talking,  flips hair out of face,  pushes hair out of face,  leaves hair alone even when falling into face.

[leadersguilt]

i refer to them so absentmindedly on this blog forgetting they're not all actively linked but i do have a few other blogs under the cut which i'm most likely writing on if not here.

@dcive - reiner. @galliiard - porco. @sturz - eren. @freisin - snk multi

[leadersguilt]

https://x.com/ryosuketarou?s=21&t=55HyzerWcN_RxNpgV2Jocw

[leadersguilt]

CAN WE JUST? CAN WE JUST?

[leadersguilt]

patting the dust off my blog like ...

[leadersguilt]

Quotes by Sylvia Plath, The Journals of Sylvia Plath

[leadersguilt]

Happy birthday Jeanbo!

[leadersguilt]

jean is 100% the kind of person who will walk you back to the dorms simply because it's late at night and you're scared to walk alone.

[leadersguilt]

It really isn't. @leadersguilt is. It actually knows how to write.

do not listen to @leadersguilt. this blog, teufelme is the best blog thank u for listening.

[leadersguilt]

if you are reading this you are following an amazing blog! <3

[leadersguilt]

quotes that broke me starters

feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !

quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.

❛   i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one.  ❜  

❛   if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places.  ❜  

❛  no one heard our screams for a long time.  ❜  

❛   i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers.  ❜  

❛   there is a home for every departed thing.  ❜  

❛   it reminded me that i will never truly know you.  ❜  

❛   i also buried a part of myself alongside them.  ❜  

❛   after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral.  ❜  

❛   you don’t have to be awake to cry.  ❜  

❛   forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do.  ❜  

❛   the human eye is the loneliest creation of all.  ❜  

❛   fairness is for happy people.  ❜  

❛   the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed.  ❜  

❛   perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone.  ❜  

❛   you stain the pages with yourself.  ❜  

❛   tears will not wash away the sorrow.  ❜  

❛   beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off.  ❜  

❛    who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?  ❜  

❛   i have scars on my hands from touching certain people  ❜  

❛   despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart.  ❜  

❛   you tried to change, didn’t you?  ❜

❛   you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that.  ❜  

❛   i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them.  ❜  

❛   we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace.  ❜  

❛   i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself.  ❜  

❛   at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss.  ❜  

❛   there are too many sad eyes on happy faces.  ❜  

❛   it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you.  ❜  

❛   things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody.  ❜  

❛   it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all.  ❜  

❛   i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short.  ❜  

❛   i felt your absence.  ❜  

❛   what do we do now, now that we are happy?  ❜  

❛    you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you?  ❜  

❛   don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him.  ❜  

❛    i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning.  ❜  

❛   i dont have a single friend - not one.  ❜  

❛   i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do?  ❜  

❛    it would have been you if i met you first.  ❜  

❛    i really thought he was going to be my forever.  ❜  

❛    maybe in the next life it would work.  ❜  

❛   in spite of everything, you’re still you.  ❜  

❛   the dead have it easy.  ❜  

❛   there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning.    ❜  

❛   there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead.  ❜  

❛   what on earth… have i become?  ❜  

❛   don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this.  ❜  

❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜  

❛   your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.  ❜  

❛   the future should know the mistakes we made.  ❜  

❛   of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption.  ❜  

❛   i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you.  ❜  

❛   even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home.  lucky you . ❜  

❛   you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever.  ❜  

❛    prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation.  ❜  

❛   take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act.  ❜  

❛    i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day.  ❜  

❛   don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk.  ❜  

❛    you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were.  ❜  

❛   we’re more ghosts than people.  ❜  

❛   despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won.  ❜  

❛   i gave you all i had … i did.  ❜  

❛   this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision.  ❜  

❛   do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜  

❛   i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me.  ❜  

❛   please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay?  ❜  

❛   no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜  

❛    people like you don’t ever want to be happy.  ❜  

❛   i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  ❜