#the humor is in the miscommunication

[riccissance]

one of my favorite leverage moments is in the lonely hearts job when nate tells parker to start a fight with one of their marks so parker walks over and decks her in the face. not only is it hilarious, but it's autistic rep in action! nate said fight so parker started a fight! and they even have nate promise to use the word argument next time instead because he recognizes why she did it that way. just a+ characterization all around

[charlieeenby]

meeting robin

the justice league is happy that batman is socializing, but they're worried that he doesn't seem to notice when robin is switched out every few years

warnings and tags: miscommunication but it's funny, alien invasion, mentioned violence

“Batman,” Clark said slowly, “why do you have a second heartbeat?”

Instead of responding, Batman grunted.

“A second heartbeat?” Barry questioned, zipping over. “How would that even work?”

Another grunt from Batman.

“Batman?”

“I don’t.”

“But I can hear a second heartbeat coming from you.” Clark said, confused.

“It’s not mine.”

Barry choked. “Huh? Who is it then?”

“Robin’s.”

Clark frowned. “Who’s Robin?”

Batman grunted again, and Barry groaned.

“Come on, man!”

Then, Batman’s cape, which hid his entire body, shifted. Clark heard a small giggle. A child popped out, beaming.

“I’m Robin!” he exclaimed, clearly excited to be there. Barry was startled and jumped back a bit.

“What the f-” he stopped short when Batman glared at him. “Fudge?”

“Batman, what is…who is this?” Clark asked.

“This is Robin.” Batman said, like it explained anything.

“We got that. Why is he here?”

Robin bounced. “I’m gonna help!” he said, and Clark caught an accent he couldn’t quite place.

“Help?”

This got him a nod. “Yeah. B said I was ready to meet the Justice League!”

“Who’s B?”

Robin squinted at Barry’s question. Then pointed up at Batman. “B.”

“Batman, where’s Robin?” Diana asked, surprised the young vigilante wasn’t with Batman.

“He’s busy. Couldn’t come.” Batman said, and Diana got the sense that there was something that Batman wasn’t saying to her, but she decided to leave it be.

“I see. Is he alright?”

“Fine. Work.” Batman seemed to be giving short answers again, something he’d stopped doing after Robin had shown up.

“Well, tell him we all missed him, please.”

Batman grunted.

“Batman, what happened to Robin?” Barry questioned, staring at the small boy that had replaced the teen they’d watched grow up. This one seemed shy, half hidden behind Batman.

“Nothing.”

“Well something had to have happened, Robin was a lot taller last time we saw him.” Clark said, also watching the boy. “That’s not the same person.”

“No.” Batman said in an almost growl.

“Huh?” Barry said, confused.

“That’s not the Robin we know. That’s someone else.” Clark said.

“We’re ready to start.” Diana said from behind Batman and Robin, the latter of which startled by her.

Clark heard a quiet ‘woah’ from the boy and smiled. He must be a fan of Wonder Woman.

The Justice League and Robin shuffled into the meeting room, Robin sitting in a chair very close to Batman.

For the entire meeting, he sat quietly, mostly watching Diana with obvious wonder across his face.

Afterwards, Diana approached him, kneeling down to his level.

“Hello. My name is Diana.”

“H-hi.”

“How long have you been Robin?” she asked gently.

“Uh,” he looked up at Batman, who nodded encouragingly to the small boy. “A few months.”

“And are you enjoying it?”

Robin nodded. “Yeah. It’s fun and we get ta help people.'' This boy had an accent as well, though it was quite different from the first Robin’s.

“That’s wonderful.” Diana said. “We’re excited to work with you, Robin.” the kid beamed, looking like he was having the best day of his life.

“Batman, what the fuck?” Barry exclaimed, ignoring the various looks he got at the curse. “Why did Robin get smaller again?”

“Because I’m a different person.” Robin said.

“But he just replaced the first one like, two years ago!”

“Four, actually.”

“Batman? Could you explain, please?” Diana asked.

They got a grunt in response.

Clark sighed. “Batman, please, can you explain this?”

Robin scoffed. “Are you stupid?”

“Robin.” Batman’s tone had a warning in it.

“There’s nothing to explain.”

A grunt.

“Batman, Robin is a girl.” Hal said, confused and done with the entire thing.

“Is that a problem, fuckface?” The entire League took a step back, surprised by this Robin’s language.

“No, of course not. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Hal said, trying to recover.

Robin huffed before turning back to Batman.

“Language, Robin.” was Batman’s response.

“Oh, come on, I coulda said a whole lot worse.” Her accent reminded Clark of the second Robin’s accent, though more pronounced.

“Tell that to Agent A.”

Robin gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

Batman grunted, though this sounded like one of his amused grunts.

“Fiiine.” She turned to Hal. “I'm sorry for calling you a fuckface.” that got a sigh from Batman.

She turned back to Batman. “Happy?”

Batman grunted again, and while Robin seemed content, Clark and the rest of the league had no idea what it meant.

“Oh my god, this one has a sword!” Hal screeched, running into the meeting room.

“Who does?” Diana asked, standing.

“Robin! Batman got a new one and he has a sword! He tried to stab me!”

“If I had tried to stab you, you would have been stabbed.” a small voice said from the doorway.

Everyone looked over to find Robin, scowling and glaring at all of them.

“He looks just like Batman.” Barry whispered, and Clark agreed. The boy in front of them had an uncanny similarity to Batman.

“Of course I look like him, I’m his son.” Robin snapped, and there were various gasps around the room.

“His son?” Barry’s pitch was high enough that Clark winced.

“Yes.”

“Robin.” Batman appeared behind Robin, frowning at the small boy and looking more annoyed then concerned. “Please don’t stab them. They are our allies, not our enemies.”

Robin looked annoyed, glaring at the Justice League. “Fine.”

“Go sit.” Batman said, nudging the boy towards a chair.

Clark looked up when the computer whirred to life.

“Recognized, Nightwing, B-0-1. Recognized, Red Robin, B-0-3. Recognized, Spoiler, B-0-4. Recognized, Robin, B-0-5.”

Clark stood and walked over to the zeta tube, staring at the four people that stepped out.

“Hey, Supes!”

“Who are you?” he asked, confused.

“We’re-” the one in black and blue started, but was interrupted by the one in red.

“We’re looking for Batman. It’s an emergency.” he stated, matter of fact. “Where is he?”

Clark hesitated. He didn’t know these people or how they got into the tower to begin with, but he wasn’t keen on taking them to Batman.

He didn’t have time to make a decision before the zeta tube started again.

“Recognized, Red Hood, B-0-2.”

He knew that Red Hood was a crime lord, how was the computer recognizing him?

“Where’s B?” Hood asked as soon as he was through.

“We’re still working on that.”

Hood groaned. “What part of ‘emergency’ did you not understand?”

The person dressed in purple scoffed. “We just got here and Superman is in the way. You wanna fight Superman?”

Hood looked over at Clark. “Hi.”

“Hi. What’s going on?”

“We need Batman. Got a bit of an emergency.”

Clark frowned and looked down at Robin. “Robin, what is going on? Who are these people?”

Robin scoffed. “Hood and Red Robin both informed you of what is going on, Superman. I didn’t know you were that dense.”

At least he knew the name of one of the new ones.

“Alright. Just, stay here, okay?”

“Fine.” Robin snapped, looking annoyed.

Clark went over to the chair he’d been in and hit the intercom. “Batman, you’re needed by the zeta tubes.”

A few minutes later, Batman appeared. When he saw the assortment of vigilantes, he sighed loudly.

“What happened?” he asked, sounding tired.

“We are being attacked by aliens.” the one in purple said.

Clark frowned and Batman shook his head.

“So you came up here to tell me instead of using the coms? Why?”

“Well, the com lines are down.” Hood said. “So yes, we came up here.”

“B, we really need to go take care of the aliens. Can we go?” the one in black and blue asked.

“Yes. Go, I’ll be down in a minute.” Batman said, still just sounding mildly inconvenienced instead of like someone who was just informed of an alien invasion.

As soon as they were all gone, Clark rounded on Batman. “What the hell? Who are they?”

Batman grunted. “Notify the rest of the League, then get down there.” he walked away, and left through the zeta tube.

Clark sighed and did as Batman had asked.

“Will you explain this now?” Clark asked, waving at the group of vigilantes that all said they worked with Batman, despite the League only knowing about Robin.

Batman just grunted and Clark was about to lose it, but then Batman said, “Robin.”

Clark stopped. “Huh?”

“Nightwing was the first Robin, Hood the second, Red Robin the third, and Spoiler the fourth. Orphan was never Robin, but she was Batgirl. Signal is new and has only ever been Signal.

“What the fuck?” Barry exclaimed. “I thought they all died!”

Hood raised his hand. “I did die.”

Batman sighed at that.

“Did he really?” Clark asked.

“Yes. But he’s fine now.”

“Am I?”

Batman groaned.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 98

Geralt comes clean to Jaskier one night that he feels as if their friendship and their traveling partnership is a little onesided, but because he's Geralt, he doesn't articulate this well enough to actually draw you to the correct damn conclusion. Jaskier assumes Geralt is dropping hints that Jaskier isn't doing enough. Geralt hunts and provides for them, and he does the contracts, and he does the cooking (Jaskier would set water on fire if he could) - Thus, Jaskier begins doing more in order to try and prove himself to Geralt. Geralt has finally admitted to Jaskier that he hasn't been doing enough. Jaskier made Geralt famous with one song, Jaskier barters their prices, Jaskier sings to earn them money every night, Jaskier holds his own in the fights he's unfortunately involved in, Jaskier takes care of camp while Geralt is away hunting, Jaskier massages Geralt, and cares for his hair- I mean, it's so much that Jaskier does for them, and Geralt feels he doesn't do enough. But Geralt has finally admitted that he's not doing enough to Jaskier, so now he has the motivation to do better! He just wishes it didn't keep seeming miraculously more and more difficult to keep up with Jaskier-

[wangxianficrecs]

you gotta help me; i'm losing my mind by livinginaworldofnoise

you gotta help me; i’m losing my mind

by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)

G, 3k, Wangxian

Summary: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun I noticed that my coworker’s boyfriend seems more interested in me than in her. How should I bring this up? r/relationship_advice @ demonicgrandmaster how do i seduce someone who can’t take a hint?????? OR: reddit is not the best place for advice Kay's comments: I'm always so delighted when I come across a well-done Reddit AU and this one was so much fun! We have Lan Wangji asking reddit for advise since he thinks his co-workers boyfriend is flirting with him and he doesn't want there to be any office drama. We have Wei Wuxian asking for advice since the guy he's been flirting with, his roommates co-worker, seems to be incredibly dense, and we have Mianmian, who's just so. tired. It was so much fun to read and the format was excellently used. Excerpt: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun Update: My coworker’s boyfriend showed up to the office when she was not there and proceeded to spend the entire afternoon at my desk. Should I talk to her? This is an update to my previous post. As the title describes, my coworker’s boyfriend pulled up a chair next to my desk and would not leave despite my repeated requests for him to. My coworker is at a conference this whole week, so there was no reason for him to be here. I believe this is an excessive amount of interest for him to be showing in someone other than his girlfriend, so I am seeking advice on how to discuss this matter with her despite suggestions to the contrary on my prior post.

pov outsider, modern setting, modern no powers, reddit au, aita, relationship advice, office drama, social media, crack, crack treated seriously, humor, misunderstandings, miscommunication, mutual pining, oblivious lan wangji, getting together, developing relationship, first date

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[riality-check]

Roadie/rockstar fic is all done!

Summary:

"At the beginning of his rant, lecture, whatever, Hottie stares right at him. He has a really intense stare. Pretty brown eyes set in a prettier face with even prettier hair on top of his head. Eddie gets distracted by all that pretty and by trying to make his point. And he doesn’t notice until halfway through that Hottie isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at his friend. Eddie looks at her, too. Looks at her confused and focused expression. Looks at her hands moving rapidly. Oh. G-d. Hottie’s deaf, isn’t he?" It's the first time Corroded Coffin goes on tour, and a well-intentioned Eddie Munson puts his foot straight into his mouth when he tries to talk to a light tech. God bless the power of stupid apology songs, shared experience, and twenty four hour diners for giving him a second, better chance. (A Deaf guy and an amputee walk into a twenty four hour diner for a combination first date and apology meal.)

tag list under the cut

@vampireinthesun @paperbackribs @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @messrs-weasley @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @omgshesinsane @bestwifehaver @marklee-blackmore @gleek4twd @steddiestains @chaoticvictorianspirit @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @alienace @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @punctualhowell @pluto-pepsi @voidpacifist @sunfloweringstories @anaibis @evillitteguy @hallucinatedjosten @avi17 @b-u-g-g-y @shinekocreator @l0st-strawberry @brassreign @abbiecadabi-blog @rainbow-freckle @gregre369 @rehfan @just-a-tiny-void @weirdandabsurd42 @satan-is-obsessed @honeysucklesinger @coyotepup345 @gayafmermaid @thegingerrapunzel @tiny-enthusiast @abstractnaturaldisaster @snapshotmaestro @stxrcrossed186 @darkrose517 @re-bec-ca-ann

[silvialightning]

My Adventures With Superman is such a good show……

[readingnreccing]

I Shot Cupid (I swear I’m not even that psychotic) by JoWithTheFlow

bnha | teen | 11k | monodeku | complete | anonymous confession

Izuku slid his thumb underneath the top of the note and quickly popped it open before he chickened out. If he chickened out, Iida would remind him of the note’s existence (because there was no way Iida wouldn’t do that) and then it would be awkward because Izuku would have to explain he hadn’t forgotten, he was just avoiding it. And Izuku was already awkward enough as it was without adding to it. Izuku read the inside of the note. He blinked. He blinked again. “Midoriya-kun?” Iida asked. “Is everything alright? Your face looks—” Numbly, Izuku showed him the note. There was a moment of silence, and then there were two moments of silence, and then Iida said, “It is unsigned.” Izuku flipped the note back around, looking at it again as if he expected the words to have changed in the time Iida had been reading it. Honestly, Izuku would have been less shocked if they had, because, well… I like you.

Ok, hear me out, Monoma and Izuku would be unstoppable, okay? So this is the most awkward Izuku story in the most delicious way. Izuku receives an anonymous note telling him "I like you". It was left on his locker and it's not signed, and Izuku simply cannot believe it was for him, he thinks he is undatable (which his friends are so cool about disproving him of the idea). Meanwhile Monoma, with whom he had become friends, simply reverted to his old ways, and worse, and Izuku is not sure what's going on. (it's not like he has a crush on Monoma and doesn't know how to deal). Amazing everything! Super fun and funny!

Author’s tags: Humor, Light Angst, Angst and Humor, Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Awkward Midoriya Izuku, and boy is he awkward, POV Midoriya Izuku, that's right! it's just him for once, Kendou Itsuka is a Good Friend, Idiots in Love, BAMF Kendou Itsuka, Just because I could, Midoriya Izuku/The Floor, the one true pairing of this fic, Minor Ashido Mina/Uraraka Ochako, blink and you miss it kind of minor but still there, Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Supportive Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Midoriya Izuku Has Good Friends, Todoroki Shouto is the Ultimate Ride or Die Friend, fancy paper!, the paper isn't important but i love it and also am extra so tag, Kendou & Midoriya Friendship Supremacy, Big Milk Conspiracy: Milk Doesn't Make Your Bones Stronger, Midoriya Izuku Has the Nervously Chaotic Energy of a Blind Old Chihuahua With Anxiety

Remember to leave feedback to the author! <3  @jowiththeflow

[atuats-sidechick]

First chapter for my FTH24 fic. Thanks @lilrobinbird for the prompts and the early comments <3

I hope y'all enjoy some Rangshi and Heituat fluff with a side of Zoryu being an idiot!

Chapters: 1/8 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Zoryu (Avatar)/OC, Atuat/Hei-Ran (Avatar), Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Zoryu (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Rangi (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Kyoshi (Avatar), Atuat & Rangi (Avatar), Atuat & Kyoshi (Avatar), Kyoshi & Zoryu (Avatar), Jinpa & Kyoshi & Rangi (Avatar) Characters: Hei-Ran (Avatar), Atuat (Avatar), Kyoshi (Avatar), Rangi (Avatar), Zoryu (Avatar), Jinpa (Avatar) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Some Humor, Humor, Family, Family Fluff, Avatar: The Last Airbender – The Rise of Kyoshi, Avatar: The Last Airbender – The Shadow of Kyoshi, Fire Nation (Avatar), Firebending & Firebenders, Waterbending & Waterbenders, Airbending & Airbenders, Earthbending & Earthbenders, Spirit World (Avatar) Summary:

Zoryu was to be married to Su-Jin, from the Ma'aoki clan, were it not for the intervention of a spirit. In an attempt to have the wedding take place as planned, Hei-Ran invites Kyoshi and Rangi to the Imperial City and asks Kyoshi to negotiate with Ka'ba Ma'alu, the hippo-cow spirit. During their stay in the Fire Nation, Hei-Ran attempts to communicate to Rangi that she and Atuat are in a committed relationship. Things don't go as planned.

[byierficrecs]

❝ look before you leap ❞ author: @elmaxed

link: archiveofourown.org/works/45082792

personal blog || submit a story || support me on ko-fi 💐

[cicadaknight]

the saint of steel series is so charming?? i’m charmed? i’m enchanted? big beefy paladin men struggling with the death of their god and just like… knitting socks and solving crimes and falling in love??

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Eskel noted Geralt’s scent on the crossroads. There wasn’t a lot of overlap in their paths (with so few witchers left, the priority was to cover as much ground as possible, not seek company), but Eskel had chased a creature much farther west than he usually went.

After a long, difficult hunt, Eskel decided he deserved to spend a night in his brother’s company.

Only, as he’s following Geralt’s scent trail, he hears an unfamiliar voice. The voice is in the same direction as Geralt’s scent. But Geralt didn’t take people on hunts, did he?

Eskel finds the source of the voice at what could only be Geralt’s camp. A man in a multi-colored, unbuttoned doublet is cooing and chatting at Roach. Who, amazingly, tolerates the noise. She’s also letting the man braid her mane.

What the fuck?

Scorpion, having recognized Roach, announced their presence with a neigh. The noise startled the colorful man. The man spun on his heel, fumbling to pull out a knife at his waist.

That knife…that was a Kaer Morhen blade!

Upon getting a good look at Eskel, the colorful man relaxed and sheathed his blade.

“You witchers, always sneaking up on poor bards. I swear, one of you shall startle me into a heart attack one day.”

Though he griped, the colorful man looked cheerful as he approached and held out his hand.

“Jaskier the bard, master of the seven liberal arts, at your service. Who might you be, sir Witcher?”

He was baffled by the man’s sunny, fearless attitude, but he took the hand, saying, “Eskel of the wolf school.”

“How delightful! Do you know Geralt?”

“We consider each other brothers.”

“And yet he never mentioned you. That man,” Jaskier tsked, “He never tells me anything!

“If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t tell us much either.”

Jaskier went on to tell Eskel that Geralt was out hunting and would be back soon. The bard invited Eskel to make himself at home and join him by the fire. They simply must become acquainted!

As Jaskier went on, Eskel got a good whiff of his scent. It was familiar to him. It was something that hung on Geralt when he returned from the path. Not to mention, Geralt’s scent was all over this man.

Given all of these signs, Eskel could only come to one conclusion: this was Geralt’s secret lover. The only thing that could make it more obvious would be if they exchanged medallions, which was impossible because this man wasn’t a witcher.

Eskel wasn’t surprised that Geralt kept his lover a secret. He had always been a bit territorial. And getting personal details out of Geralt was like trying to pry an alligator’s mouth open.

How lucky he was to encounter Jaskier! They could fill each other in on the details Geralt was needlessly stingy with.

I'm a huge sucker for witchers-meeting-jaskier fics, especially when they come to the conclusion that Geralt is in love with his bard (because he is!) I love this, I love this, I love this!

[wangxianficrecs]

The Misunderstanding by kisahawklin

The Misunderstanding

by kisahawklin

T, 9k, Wangxian

Part of the MXTX Bargain Bin

Summary: Lan Huan sees some unusually pricey things on Lan Zhan's credit card statement. Wen Qing sees Wei Ying coming home from dates with expensive jewelry. They have some concerns. Kay's comments: Ah, meddling brother Lan Xichen and meddling sister Wen Qing doing their best, completely misunderstanding the situation and almost wrecking Lan Zhan and Wei Ying's brand-new relationship - I really liked this one! Never read something like it before and the outsider POV is beautifully done. They really do just misunderstand everything. Excerpt: Lan Huan doesn't think much more about Wei Ying until the next credit card statement shows up with two pricey dinners at high end restaurants, multiple cash withdrawals, and some expensive jewelry. It is possibly Lan Zhan going overboard for someone he likes. Lan Huan thinks he has probably dated a little, here and there, but he's never liked someone enough to mention them to Lan Huan, much less be this extravagant with his money. He tries not to let the nagging feeling that's settling into his stomach turn sour. Maybe it's just Lan Zhan not being sure of himself, wanting to present himself as a worthy partner. He texts Lan Zhan and asks to meet for dinner again. We should do this every month! I miss your cooking and I don't get to see you enough. How's next weekend?

pov outsider, modern setting, modern no powers, protective lan xichen, protective wen qing, wei wuxian & wen ning & wen qing, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending, humor, misunderstandings, miscommunication, light angst, angst with a happy ending, single parent wei wuxian, getting together, dating, @kisahawklin

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo-(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) - Oneshot

You've always been a bit shy by nature. Leo said that it was endearing. You were the very definition of innocent. Whenever Mikey made his little innuendos, you would get as red as a cherry. Leo often found his eyes lingering in your direction. He couldn't help it. Being around you made him a little more protective. So it was a complete shock when he'd finally approached you about his feelings. That adorable color had rushed to your face again as you made a stuttering confession of your own.

That's how you became a couple.

The only issue is the distance.

It was poor timing at best. You'd applied for an internship in Washington three months ago and the acceptance letter finally returned. So for the next two months you're away from him. Leo of course was overjoyed for you. But you knew there was a part of him that was a bit disappointed that he'd have to spend two months away from you.

He called as often as he could considering his night job. You both would send texts and updates back and forth.

But you still missed him.

Due to your bashful nature, you never even got to share a kiss yet.

The day he'd sent you off his smile was just too charming. You paced out the room before anymore could be said, and you could hear Leo's soft chuckles that day as he bid you a safe and eventful summer.

Your internship is coming to an end. You had a week at most left, still that didn't stop your heart from aching just a little.

For the last couple days you found yourself missing Leo more and more. Hoping he'd somehow just turn up at your window. Walk through your door.

Slip into your bed....

Your thoughts would not stop rolling, so you decided to enlist some female support.

"April speaking."

Her voice echoed on the other side of the phone.

"H-Hi April."

"Oh hey, how are you doing? Leo's been sending us pictures of everything. It's really sweet."

You swallow.

"Y-Yeah he's great. It's s-sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. "

This is nerve wracking.

"Did something happen?"

"N-No everything's fine!"

In a manner of speaking.

"I've just been thinking about Leo..a lot.." You let out a breath, and there's a stillness on the other side of the phone.

"Wait..are you calling me for tips about phone sex?"

Red was too little a word to describe the state of your face at the moment.

"N-Nevermind! Good bye!"

You hung up the phone before anything else could be said, dropping your phone on the bed. When it buzzed, you jumped. Looking down, you read the message.

"Just tell him how you feel. It'll be fine. Good luck!"

The note did not deter your embarrassment, but you did feel a little more at ease. Smiling, you sent her a reply.

"I can do this."

For once, you would be forward. You needed to tell him what you wanted. Even if you passed out in the process.

That night you waited patiently by the phone, just scrolling through the cute messages you'd exchanged with him the night before. He always added little animal emoji's especially the puppy because he knew how adorable you thought it was. When the phone rang, your heart skipped a beat. You released your heavy breath, clicking the button as you pressed the phone to your ear.

"Hi Leo."

“Hey, I can't wait to see you Friday. Raph has been giving me a hard time. I know when you get back you can set him straight." You laugh at that. For some strange reason Raph became very obedient whenever you asked him to do something. He'd once commented that you reminded him of a pitbull puppy. He treated you like a little sister. So whenever he got into it with Leo you'd give him that look and he'd back off with a huff, patting your head. Sometimes being small and shy comes in handy.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you Leo."

He let out a soft laugh, and you find yourself a bit dazed. Your legs shifted against the sheet, and you gripped at the pillow to try and elevate the warmth that began to travel through your body at such a simple sound. You clenched the phone, and before you could stop yourself the words came barreling out.

"Leo I miss you so much! I-It's been driving me crazy. I keep thinking that you'll just show up but then I open my eyes and you're not here. It's so frustrating! I want you here with me. I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want you to touch me!"

You couldn't stop yourself. The second that last statement came out, you felt your stomach drop. The realization of how desperate and clingy that sound hits you and your lips quiver.

"I-I'm sorry Leo I-I.."

You can't find the words. Before you can humiliate yourself further you hang up. You shove the device under a pillow, clenching another to your chest as you try not to let any tears fall.

He would definitely be weirded out.

"What if he breaks up with me.."

Dread hit you like a brick, and before you could get too deep in your thoughts, your phone rang. For a moment you just stare. Because the possibility of him calling to say that this is too much, or he needs time away from you is terrifying. The last ring resounds in the air, and you finally answer the phone.

"L-Leo I-I shouldn't have said that.."

You feel like an idiot.

"Did you mean it, everything you said?"

That's not the question you expect. But you answer nonetheless.

"I..I did."

There's a bit of shuffling on the other side of the phone.

"I miss you too, so much."

His tone has lowered significantly, and a little shiver rushes up your spine at the unexpected shift.

"You never have to feel bad about being honest (Y/N). I want you to be honest with me. Tell me when something upsets you. Excites you.."

You nibble at your fingernail.

"Y-You don't think it's weird?"

"Not at all. I'm a little relieved. To be honest I was worried you would find someone on your trip. I know we're officially a couple but I just feel like we just started out. Distance sometimes shows us what we want and need. I guess I got a little clingy."

You can't believe it. This whole time he's been feeling exactly the same.

"I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about what it'll feel like to kiss you. I've wanted to for so long. Seeing you so flustered that day when you left though, it just made me want it more."

You close your eyes. His words are like honey.

Every whisper is a promise of something more.

"I-I'm sorry that I always run away."

"You don't have to apologize."

His voice is always so soothing, reassuring. Leo's known since the moment he met you. It was one of the many reasons that he loved you.

"Tell me what you want. I'll do anything."

You can imagine the possibilities of that request.

Anything..

"If you were here right now...what would you do Leo?"

You can't help but ask. You have to know.

"I'd kiss your cheeks. They always get so adorably red."

You smile, as you turn unto your stomach, kicking your feet back and forth.

"Then I'd have to kiss you. Nice and slow. I want to feel everything, taste everything. You probably have a pack of gummies nearby. You're always munching on those. I bet you taste so sweet right now." You gulp, rolling onto your back as you release a little breath.

"Whenever you fall asleep on my bed you always manage to hike up your shirt. You have no idea how much I've had to retrain myself. Sometimes you're so defenseless. Right now I'm almost positive that you're not wearing a bra. I could slip my hands right under your shirt."

Your thighs are clenched together.

"What color panties are you wearing right now?" He asks softly.

"T-They're blue." Your fingers graze the top of it unconsciously.

"My favorite color." He hums appreciatively.

"I'd let you take them off yourself, I want to see how flushed your cheeks can get. Or I can do it myself. You'd like that wouldn't you (Y/N)?"

You nod eagerly.

"I-I would." You admit shamelessly.

"Lifting you into my lap would be so easy. I'd have to tease you just a little. I like it when you squirm. Do you think you could handle it if I just licked you right at the center? It'll definitely be sweet. Every bit of you is sweet (Y/N).."

You can't stop the soft moan that leaves your lips. You press your hand to your lips almost immediately to stifle the sound. Leo lets out a deep chuckle.

"I'll be waiting for you on Friday (Y/N). You better get a lot of rest."

It dawns on you that he's about to say goodnight.

"W-Wait Leo!" You whine.

"This is payback for running off without giving me a kiss." He taunts. You huff, cheeks now burning.

"M-Meanie."

He continues to laugh.

"Have a good night (Y/N)."

You hear the dial tone and you groan, dropping your head on the pillow.

[julemmaes]

Mrs. Flatus

finally Rowaelin Yulemas Swap

A/N: As late as usual, wouldn't be me otherwise, here's your fic you kind and patient soul, @live-the-fangirl-life, hoping your expectations didn't go as high I'd wished for. I have to thank all the people that helped me get this out and @bookstantrash and @thewayshedreamed especially, for being my forever support. Enjoy this little baby!

Word count: 5.834

Rowan’s head fell back at the sound of his front door. The hinges creaked loudly as Lysandra waltzed in without so much as a knock. It wasn’t the first time, and he bet it wouldn’t be the last.

She looked at the shirtless guys standing in the middle of the kitchen and whispered with horror in her voice, “What the fuck are you eating?”

“Girl, is that what you’re focusing on?” Elide, coming in right behind her, hunched forward, eyeing the glass in their friend’s hand. Her eyes, filled with concern and a little disbelief, slid to Lysandra. “He’s drinking beer at 11am.”

Fenrys frowned, scratching at his naked chest. “No, I’m not.”

“It’s tea,” Lorcan called from the couch, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“Why is it in a pint glass?” Elide asked the room, walking towards her boyfriend and leaning down to kiss him on the lips. She went to rise again, but she was pulled by the waist to sit on Lorcan’s lap, who was mindlessly watching an old game’s recording.

“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” Fenrys retorted, a sarcastic smile on his lips.

Elide gasped, bringing a hand to her throat. “The disrespect.”

“What’s disrespectful—”

Rowan slammed his hands on the desk hard enough to stop whatever line was about to come out of his friend’s mouth. He stood up from his work table and eyed everyone in his apartment.

When silence fell and everyone’s gaze was fixed on him, he took a deep breath and spoke clearly. “What’s disrespectful…” he said, glaring at Fenrys, “is that I’m trying to work, and none of you should be here.”

“I live here,” Lorcan deadpanned.

Rowan sighed, running a hand down his face, “I know that, dickhead. I was referring to the ladies and the pup.”

Elide raised a hand to defend herself. “My boyfriend lives here.” 

“I got wasted yesterday night and need assistance to recover,” Fenrys said around the rim of his glass. 

Rowan arched a brow, “I— I don’t even,” he trailed off, looking at Lorcan. “Did you guys go out yesterday?”

His flatmate shook his head, keeping his eyes on the screen.

“Then what are you talking about?” Rowan asked Fenrys.

“I went out with Connall and some of the girls. We were at Pip’s.”

Rowan stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He didn’t.

“Okay, and?”

Fenrys shrugged, “Then, I just let myself in at 4am and crashed on your couch.”

“Your place is closer to the bar than here,” Lysandra noted.

The blond guy slightly tilted his head to the side, “Whose side are you on?”

“It’s just kinda stupid that you walked all the way here instead of going to your house. And where did Connall—”

“Lys!” Rowan interrupted her.

“What?” She asked,exasperated.

He went to rebut, but his phone pinged with an annoying chirping sound.

Aelin.

As he dived for his phone on the desk, Lorcan groaned, muttering about him falling off the face of earth whenever she texted.

Fenrys huffed a laugh. “Didn’t know you’d moved to Pussy-Whipped Town, Ro. Isn’t it crowded there? I heard it’s getting uncomfy.”

Lorcan snorted, and it caught Lysandra’s sharp attention.

“What are you even laughing about, lover boy?” Her and Manon had started calling him that since his and Elide’s very first date. Needless to say, he hated it. “You probably helped him move his stuff there, since you know the city so well.”

Elide chuckled on his lap at the frown on Lorcan’s face. He was caressing his girlfriend’s thigh, but nothing stopped him from flipping his dark-haired friend off as Elide gave him a peck on the lips.

Rowan, in the meantime, had shut the world out.

That had turned out to be an easy task in the last few months. Whenever Aelin was in the same room as him. Or whenever she called. Or texted, actually.

He didn’t waste a second opening the glimmering notification.

the kids at this thing are driving me fudging insane I need us to go to pip’s tonight please

Rowan’s lips curled as he reread her text, specifically the child-friendly curse word. She’d been working as a piano teacher in one of their neighbourhood’s elementary schools for five years now, but she still had issues with censuring herself in front of her students. And he knew it was probably proving harder than ever as she attended the school fair she’d organised for the past two months.

Looking at the clock on the wall before replying, he hoped his words would ease some of the tension in her.

You only got started half an hour ago. You got this, Fireheart. Just remember all the leftovers you’ll get to take home once it’s over.

“It’s disgusting.” Lysandra’s voice brought him back to reality.

Rowan lifted his head and noticed, with no small irritation, that all his friends were looking at him. 

“You’re not even together and you’re disgustingly in love,” she finished.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, sitting back down.

Elide perked up, moving her hands mid-air as her gaze went from him to Lorcan, to Lys, and back to him. “Wait, what? Is that true?”

Rowan shook his head, not meeting his friend’s eyes.

“Are you in love with her?” Elide pushed for a verbal reply, gripping the back of the couch as if her life depended on it. 

He didn’t dare open his mouth. This had nothing to do with them. This was his private life, and as much as he appreciated his friends, he had no business discussing it with them.

“You might as well say it, man. Aelin’s got you wrapped around her devilish little fingers,” Fenrys butted in.

He pretended not to hear them as they continued talking about his not-so-subtle crush on one of his dearest friends and went back to work on his laptop. He managed to work for a total of twenty seconds before his phone pinged again with a new text from her.

Rowan couldn’t stop the grin that spread over his face, earning a laugh from the others.

tbf it wouldnt even be that bad if one of the girls had agreed to come with me but they all said they had important poop to do and now im lonely

This text was accompanied by a sad face. Rowan scowled, looking up at the women standing in front of him, doing important poop.

“Why didn’t you go with Aelin to her school fair?” he asked, not caring that he interrupted something about Aelin’s boobs and the effect they had on him.

Lysandra’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as she huffed. “Cause those kids are too much work, and if Aelin could skip those events, she would too. She can handle a few hours on her own.”

Rowan looked at Elide then, who shrugged. “What she said.”

He glanced at his computer screen, at Fenrys, who was currently munching on some leftover pasta from the night before, then at all these people who he greatly loved but that needed to get out of his house. That way, he could finish his job, reach her himself, and help however he could to make it easier for her. An idea popped into his head.

“What if,” he started, standing up and promptly taking Fenrys’ shirt from the floor and walking up to him. “You all got the fuck out of here—”

Fenrys gripped Rowan’s arm. “Why are you pushing me?”

“—and went to Aelin’s school for a few hours—”

“No, seriously, man, stop pushing me out. I don’t have my pants on. It’s below zero outside.”

“—so I can finish this in peace, and I’ll see you all tonight at Pip’s?”

By the time he’d finished talking, Fenrys was halfway through the front door—pantless and with his shirt hanging around his neck—and Lysandra was muttering under her breath how rude he was for kicking them out so mercilessly. Elide seemed hesitant to get up, but when Lorcan met Rowan’s eyes and understanding passed between them, his best friend slapped her on the thigh.

“You heard him, Lochan. Get your ass out,” Lorcan prompted. He followed his own advice, offering a curt nod to Rowan on his way out.

As soon as silence fell over his house, he released a sigh and went back to work.

***

Rowan was undressing to get into the shower before heading to Pip’s when he got a text from Aelin. He huffed as his chest tightened a bit at the sound, but he decided not to dwell too much on his feelings for the blonde goddess and just check what she wanted.

ur cooming 2 the bar ight

He smiled, shaking his head at the amount of typos and abbreviations she used. That had been a hot topic of discussion during those first weeks of them talking.

Yeah, just taking a quick shower first and then I’ll meet you there.

He hit send and then decided to add a smiley face, just to show that he was excited about seeing her. She took less than ten seconds to reply with an emoji herself.

i smell like horse poop

Rowan barked a laugh and leaned on the sink, running a hand through his hair. He bit his lip as he pictured her navigating through farm animals all day long, trying to avoid stepping on shit while also keeping all the kids alive and unharmed.

i also drunk a lot of juice and someone spiked it and im kindaish tipsyyishh

He stood up at that, typing fast on his phone.

Is someone with you? You’re not driving right now, right?

Aelin took way longer than usual to reply, and Rowan was about to say hell with the shower and run to the school in his underwear if she hadn’t replied in the next two minutes.

relax im with the gvng lys is gonna drive us

He released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and then texted her they were gonna see each other in a bit. She said the same, and just as he was about to enter the shower, he remembered something.

Oh and, Ace? You should bring a coat tonight.

The last time they’d gone out, she’d worn the skimpiest dress ever. It had driven him insane, but it had also made Aelin catch a cold that had spread across their entire group of friends. And surely no one needed a repeat of that.

I SHOUKD?!?!?!?

Her reply came as a surprise, and Rowan reread his text, wondering if he’d typed something wrong.

...yes?

The three dots appeared and disappeared at least five times before a blue bubble finally popped up.

u wont be amgry??

Rowan questioned his sanity at that point. What was going on?

Of course I won’t be angry, what are you on about?

Aelin again took forever to reply and once she did, it did nothing to calm him down.

NPTHING! SEE U THERE, LOVE YU

The entire way to the bar, Rowan couldn’t focus on anything but that weird conversation. Nothing but that simple love you she had mindlessly thrown out there. It wasn’t unusual of Aelin to say those two words to her friends. She used it as one does hello and goodbye, but it had been the first time she’d done it with him and his mind was racing with thoughts like why now.

Had he been too harsh on her? Why would she think he’d be upset about her wearing a coat?

Had she been wearing those tormentingly short dresses for him?

No, that couldn’t have been it. It didn’t make any sense. Plus, he’d stalked her Instagram account. She’d worn those things way before she came into his life.

Without being able to take those thoughts out of his mind, Rowan started thinking of what Lysandra had implied today. What Elide had asked confirmation for.

He and Aelin hadn’t seen each other in some days now. He had been too tied with workloads and due-dates, and Aelin had been busy even at night with all the prep she had to do for her classes.

And he couldn’t lie, he missed her like hell.

He wasn't sure when it had started to change with Aelin, but there had been a moment when their relationship had gone from being a simple acquaintance to something much deeper. Rowan would have liked to say that it was thanks to that night when they had both opened their hearts to each other, discovering that they had much more in common than they thought, but he knew that his feelings had been there for much longer—dormant perhaps, but always ready to explode in his heart.

And as supportive as their friends had been of this hypothetical relationship, Rowan and Aelin still hadn't hinted at what was between them. And Rowan was fine with that. More than fine.

There was a certain dynamic between him and Aelin, and there was no reason to break that perfectly stable balance by complicating things with feelings he himself still couldn't fully comprehend.

He parked the car at the end of the street—Pip’s being at its fullest on a random Friday night—and rapidly walked to the bar as the winter cold embraced him like a too-tight hug.

The second he stepped inside, the warmth and commotion washed over him, and he could not help but smile slightly at the sight of the Christmas decorations hanging around the room. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm himself a little as he sought out his group of friends. It wasn't long before he heard Aedion's thunderous laughter on the opposite side of the place.

They were all there.

Elide and Lysandra were dancing beside the pool table, where Dorian, Manon, Aedion and Fenrys were challenging each other to death. Connall and Lorcan, together with Asterin and Nehemia, were sitting at their usual table, and it was impossible for Rowan to stop the spontaneous question forming in his brain. Where was she? Lorcan turned towards him just then, and the expression on his face made him stop in his tracks.

A mixture of amusement and exasperation marked the features of his friend's face. Rowan shook his head, arched an eyebrow and silently asked him what was going on, and Lorcan squared his shoulders, and with a nod of his chin, pointed to the bar counter.

Rowan shifted his gaze to the crowd of people, ready for anything. Aelin dressed like an elf. Aelin dancing upside down on the bar. Aelin covered in chocolate.

He was sure that whatever she was up to, Rowan would be ready.

He was wrong.

“What the fuck.”

On the other side of the room, bleating on a stool in all its mighty and hairy glory, sat a goat. And right next to it, Aelin circled what Rowan supposed were the goat’s shoulders with her arm. They were both sipping something that resembled chocolate milk and what he really hoped wasn’t Aelin favourite kind of Bailey’s. Whatever their drinks were, the goat really seemed to be enjoying it.

A goat.

Rowan closed his eyes, turned his back to the room and went outside. The cold hit him like a brick as he ran a hand down his face, taking a deep breath. He blinked a couple of times, hoping whatever he’d just hallucinated wouldn’t appear in the parking lot as well and went back inside. His eyes went straight to the counter, where now a waving Aelin was calling out his name.

The goat was still there.

He turned to his friends, hoping they would be at least somewhat shocked by whatever the fuck was going down, but every single one of them was too focused on something else to notice that there was an actual farm animal sitting mere meters from them. As if Aelin chilling at the counter with a fucking goat was something they were used to.

He didn’t even make it to the bar before her tiny, warm body slammed into him and she started blubbering nonsense.

“I’m so happy you finally got here,” she was saying. “I gotta introduce you to my new friend, Mrs Flatus. She’s going through a hard break up, and I think we could learn something from her. I can’t really understand her that much, but also I guess we could learn how to communicate with her.”

She took his hand and the spark that simple touch sent up his arm made his legs move automatically. He would have followed her anywhere. Or almost.

He hit the brakes, tightening his hold on her and making her halt as she sprinted towards Mrs Flatus. The movement might have been a little too brusque, because Aelin tripped over her own feet and fell back against his chest. He caught her around the waist before she went sprawling to the ground, and the sharp intake of breath from her had his whole body heat up in under a second.

“Easy there, Fireheart.” He whispered to her ear. Her shoulders trembled with shivers.

Aelin tilted her head back and glanced at him, “I-”

“Where did the goat come from?”

The way she rolled her head on his chest made him realise she was way more drunk than anticipated.

“At the fair,” she sing-sang. 

As she replied, Aelin moved slowly in his embrace, turning fully towards him, bracing her hands on his chest, drawing the two of them impossibly closer.

“And how— what did you…” He trailed back, not really knowing how to pose the question.

What had he meant to ask her again?

Rowan frowned, feeling drunk all of a sudden as well. He was just so confused.

He turned to the goat, not really listening to what Aelin was now mumbling against his shirt, and he noticed with crippling dread that the animal was staring right at him. It wasn’t even sitting in their direction, still posed against the counter, a hoof too close to the glass of milk to be coincidental. Only its head was turned towards them and those squared pupils were just looking straight into his soul.

“You told me to bring the goat.” Aelin grumbled then, sounding angry, and snapping his attention back to her. Her golden eyes were piercing his very heart and his hands automatically tightened around her hips. “I asked you if you were gonna be mad and you said no, so you have no right to come here and stand here looking like that-”

It was like a bucket of ice poured over him. He brought a hand to her mouth, leaning down so they were eye to eye, and he spoke every word carefully, making sure she heard.

“I told you to bring a coat. C-O-A-T. C, Ace, c!”

Her mouth gaped under his hand, and he shook his head as she started laughing hysterically.

“Oh my.”

Rowan closed his eyes briefly, before taking a deep breath and gently pushing Aelin to the side. She slid her arm around his waist as he stalked to the counter, and he couldn’t believe this was how his night was going.

As soon as the bartender, and owner of the pub, saw him approach and probably noted the stunned expression on his face, she snorted.

“I gotta say boy, when I first opened this place, I never thought I’d let anyone in with a goat.” Peig said, tilting her head to the side to take a look at Aelin, who was currently petting Mrs Flatus on the head, trying to get it to drink more of what Rowan got confirmation was milk. The old lady glanced back at him, an amused smile on her lips as she continued, “Your girlfriend here can be pretty persuasive.”

Rowan tensed, ready to deny those words, but Aelin spoke first, an equally spirited smile on her face. “I’m sure I could convince the President to let me give a speech to the world if I wanted to.”

Not even the slightest acknowledgment to the term Peig had used to describe her. And she didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Maybe she hadn’t heard it. Maybe she was just too absorbed in her new friend to have noticed-

Aelin looked at him and smiled. Her whole face lit up and she hugged him closer, pushing her cheek against his chest.

Rowan let go of a trembling breath and pulled her to him, even more, pretending his heart wasn’t beating a thousand beats per minute. Pretending that smile hadn’t just obliterated his stability.

Pretending the woman he was holding on for dear life didn’t own him thoroughly.

***

Aelin hadn’t had a headache this strong in years.

She felt like she was about to pass out again when something loud and… wet exploded in the room. She groaned, willing whatever that sound had been to never replay ever again.

And then the smell hit. 

The gag forced itself up her throat and before she knew it someone was holding a bucket in front of her face. Nothing could have stopped her body from heaving into it.

“That’s what you get for getting shit-faced at a school fair and then stealing a goat.” 

Rowan’s voice had always had a certain hold on her body. The way her fingers would start tingling with the desire to touch his face, his neck. Touch places she only had the courage to acknowledge in her dreams so far.

Her fists clenched around the sheets as she puked whatever was left in her stomach from the night before. A hand came down on her back, massaging between her shoulders as Rowan whispered words of encouragement to her. She couldn't really understand what he was saying, but his presence was enough for her to come down from the disgusting embarrassment she was feeling.

As soon as her body decided it was enough, she fell back down on the mattress, groaning as loud as her head allowed. It wasn’t even a moment later that a heavy weight was placed on her chest. She only had time to blink at a furry wagging tail before the goat was taken from her. 

Mrs. Flatus bleated for a half a second and then the sound was muffled by something. 

“Shut your cute lil’ mouth, Jesus.” Rowan yell-whispered. 

Aelin couldn’t have stopped the smile from spreading over her face if she’d sold her soul to the devil. 

She heard him moving around the room but still couldn’t open her eyes, her head pounding like a fresh, open wound. He was walking around, probably stalking after that pitter patter that must have been the goat’s hooves. A heartbeat later, Rowan was standing next to her bed again and was trying to make her swallow something that, according to him, was going to help her. She managed to do as he asked, then she rolled in her bed but couldn’t really find peace as the terrible taste of vomit persisted in her mouth. 

She must have been drunk still because she stumbled to the bathroom like a toddler who’s still learning to walk. Rowan helped her as she used mouthwash to get rid of the disgusting taste. 

As soon as she was done, she spit out everything, then quite literally launched herself on the bed and found a comfortable enough position to sleep. 

When Aelin woke the second time, her headache was just bearable, but nothing she wasn’t used to. She sat up with no small amount of effort, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. The moment her room came into focus, her heart swelled.

Rowan was snoring softly on the armchair posed in the corner of her room, lips slightly parted with his head tilted to the side. He seemed so at peace—even with a goat sitting on his lap. 

Even if the picture in front of her was cute as hell, and Rowan made a great goat keeper with his arms tight around the animal, Aelin shook her head, bringing a hand to her forehead. 

How the fuck had she managed to steal a goat? 

She vaguely remembered Lorcan helping her, making her swear she wouldn’t tell Rowan. Elide and Lysandra laughing their asses off in the front seats as she tried to push Mrs. Flatus in their car. She had glimpses of Aedion and Manon scolding them all, Dorian chatting with their new group pet and Fenrys trying to hit on a girl with the help of the goat. 

Then, utter void.

She scrunched her nose as Mrs. Flatus farted in her sleep and decided the room needed some fresh air. She got up on unstable legs and wobbled to the window, opening it wide and hoping the awful smell wouldn’t permeate the rest of the apartment. 

She basked in the sun for a bit, listening to the birds chirping, the wind through the leaves. Looking out to the streets and the traffic. Focusing on anything that wasn’t the man sitting behind her.

Rowan had been trouble since the very first time he’d stepped into Lysandra’s apartment and introduced himself to her. 

She remembered their first meeting as if it was yesterday. The way Elide had begged Lys to bring Aelin to that party so Lorcan could bring Rowan in turn. The months of anticipation and build up that had made her anxious to finally meet someone after so many years of rejection and heartache.

Rowan had been a ray of sunshine in the midst of the endless shitstorm that was her life. He had been a warm embrace during the dark, lonely days that seemed to have become her norm.

She was thinking about the gazillions of things this man had done for her without even knowing, when Mrs. Flatus farted again. Rowan groaned, raising his head and making a grimace that was similar to a baby eating a lemon.

Aelin could not stop the laughter that rumbled in her chest. He opened his eyes, settling in his chair, his gaze going straight to her.

The little goat, probably disturbed by all that movement, jumped off his lap, running in her direction as she bleated animatedly.

She crouched down to pet her on the head, and Mrs. Flatus turned and jumped on the bed, walking around in her sheets. Aelin winced and kneeled on the duvet, hoping to make the animal calm down. Hoping the little shit wouldn’t poop on her bed.

“Dammit,” Rowan murmured. 

Aelin tensed. His voice. It made her want to smash her head against a wall. 

In a good way.

"I'd kind of hoped it was all a nightmare. Or that someone had drugged me and I was hallucinating,” he continued, making her nerves even more restless. It was as if someone had turned up the heat a few notches. Everything seemed to be suddenly warmer. "But no. You actually stole a goat last night."

She glanced at him, her cheeks reddening. 

“I’m sorry?”

He shrugged like it was nothing, yawning. He rubbed his eyes, looking like a fever dream.

She whined and brought a hand to her face. He was so fucking precious. 

“What?” He asked, his voice like gravel.

Aelin shook her head, peering at him through her fingers as Mrs. Flatus settled between her legs. She couldn’t quite tell him Oh nothing, it’s just that you’re so pretty I want to sit on your face until both of us can’t breathe anymore. No, she really couldn’t. That would have made him run for the hills. 

She settled for a shrug of her own and then she frowned, realising something.

“Why are you here?”

“Well,” he started, running a hand through his already ruffled white hair. Aelin’s attention snapped to his fingers. “You were really drunk at the bar last night. I don’t know if you noticed. And you were hellbent on this goat having a good time and being taken care of.”  

She scowled, “I- Of course I wanted her to have a good time. You would have left her at the bar?” 

Rowan chuckled, and there was something different about him just then. The way he sagged against the back of the armchair, the look he was giving her, like he couldn’t take his eyes off her—like he didn’t want to. 

He kept his calm demeanour as he replied. 

“Of course not. That’s why I came home with you guys.” 

Aelin bit her lip, trying to stop her smile from spreading even more. 

“Go on.”

Rowan nodded, smirking knowingly. “You definitely weren’t in shape to take care of the goat and you when you got home, so we danced a bit with some dudes from Lunathion. They were fun, but we couldn’t understand a word they were saying. Fenrys hooked up with one of the girls in their group. Then you kept drinking for a while with Lys and the goat. Around 4am, I loaded you both in my car and drove you here.” 

Aelin thought she’d never heard him speak for so long without interruption. She was also kinda moved he’d sprinkled that bit of gossip in the story just for her sake. She knew perfectly well he didn’t care for those kinds of things, so if he’d included it, he must have done it for her.

“And then you woke up at 7:00 to puke. I gave you some aspirin, and that was it.” 

She looked at him for a few beats. 

“But why?” 

“I wanted to make sure Mrs. Flatus didn’t eat anything while you were passed out.” A small pause. He looked straight at her, and a thousand unsaid things passed between them. “And that you were okay.” 

Aelin blinked in surprise. She passed her fingers through the goat’s fur. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” she whispered, “but thank you.”

Rowan nodded once, cracking his knuckles, something Aelin had started to notice he only did when he was under pressure. “Don’t mention it.” 

When he squared his shoulders and bent his head to the side to crack his neck as well, grimacing a bit at the soreness there, she curled her lips. 

“You shouldn’t have slept in the armchair. The couch would have been a better choice.” My bed, also.

“I really didn’t want to be that far from you in case you needed something.” 

They’d never come close to talking about whatever they felt for each other. She’d already told him multiple times she loved him, the same way she loved Lysandra or Fenrys. And even if he’d never verbally spoken those words, he’d shown her multiple times and so many ways he did as well.

But she knew that wasn’t the whole truth. He knew.

Before she could thank him again and scold him for being dumb, he went on.

“And it didn’t feel right getting in bed with you while you were passed out.” 

Aelin looked at him then, feeling bolder than ever. Her voice came out much lower than intended, “I wouldn’t have minded.” 

He must have shared the same feeling, because he didn’t bat an eye as he said, “I would have, but I want you to remember the first time you fall asleep in my arms.”

She snorted, feeling her cheeks redden once more. She bent her head down, focusing on Mrs. Flatus’ little ears, stroking her neck. The goat screamed, and they both flinched at the sound. 

When Aelin glanced up at him, he wore a shy smile of his own. She shook her head disbelievingly, “That was kinda lame.”

Rowan’s eyebrows snapped up. “It was, wasn’t it?” 

They stared at each other for some time and then Rowan’s attention was elsewhere, but she couldn't stop looking at him. The muscles in his arms as he got up and stalked to her bed. His thighs, perfectly wrapped in those jeans Aelin loved so much, that made his ass look amazing. His hand on her duvet as he bent down, towards… Mrs. Flatus.

“Stop eating her pyjamas, you douchebaguette,” Rowan said with amusement lacing his every word. He wrapped his hands around the goat’s snout and opened her mouth. The way he’d said that insult told her it wasn’t the first time he’d used it, and the scrunched up expression Mrs. Flatus seemed to turn his way as she screamed made Aelin burst out laughing. She hadn’t even realised the goat had been munching on her clothes. 

At the sound of her laugh, Rowan’s head snapped up. The smile on his face fell in a second when he noticed just how close they were. His lips parted, and released a trembling breath. Aelin’s eyes slid down to his mouth, watching intensely as he wet his lips. When she looked up again, his pupils were dilated, and the desire shining there was a fist around her heart.

“Ace–”

“Just kiss me,” she breathed out.

So, he did. As soon as Rowan’s lips touched hers, Aelin kindly pushed Mrs. Flatus away, making space for his huge figure between her bent knees. 

His free hand  went to her neck, slowly sliding up to her jaw until he was cupping her cheek, angling her head so that he could deepen the kiss. Everything in her lit up like he’d poured gasoline and thrown a match on her. His tongue trailed over her upper lip, and her surprised gasp as he gently laid her down was invitation enough for him.

She was lying on her back, his full bodyweight on her as they kissed and kissed, basking in the other’s touches and caresses. 

They had waited long enough for this. 

When Rowan finally came up for air, Aelin was sprawled on the bed, hoping to look only half as stunned as she felt. He hovered over her, his hair tousled from her fingers running and tugging through it. His eyes darted across her face—for what, Aelin didn’t know. Then, he dropped his chin to his chest and started laughing. 

She watched, confused just as much as amused. “What are you laughing about?”

Rowan stopped for a second, giving her a peck on the lips and settling next to her, circling her shoulder with his arm and pulling her close. 

“I can’t believe it took a goat for us to kiss.” 

Aelin hid her face against his chest, mumbling something. 

Rowan started tracing lines on the small of her back, leaving kisses on her hair, forehead, shoulder. Wherever he could reach, he kissed. 

Aelin was about to tell him how long she’d been wanting to do it, but her phone started aggressively vibrating on her nightstand.

She groaned as she stretched to reach it without getting up. 

The name on the screen made her wince in anticipation for what was about to come. She pressed accept and brought the phone to her ear.

She couldn’t even get a word out before Cassian’s voice boomed in the silent room.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Aelin looked at Rowan and grimaced. “Oops?”

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed, you send me a dm or an ask)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @tangledinmysoul @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @imagine-me @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears @rowaelinismyotp @starbornsinger @thegreyj @feysand-loml @autumnbabylon @a-court-of-milkandhoney @highqueenofelfhame @story-scribbler @mariamuses @rhysandswingspan @whoever-you-choose-to-love @endlessdaydream

[daz4i]

borderlands is like the series that probably has the most wrong fandom for what it wants to be. like it's a huge fictional universe with so much lore, it has really good and emotionally impactful stories. sometimes. bl3&tftbl2 dni, awesome queer rep, solid characters with touching bonds; and then most of the fandom is like. gamer bros who only care abt farming and misgendering nb characters ig

[bingqiufics]

Title: Scum Villain’s Accidental Romance System

Author: BurnerAccount

Relationship: Bingqiu

Timeline: Canon Divergence

Status: Complete

Rating: Teen

Length: Novel (80K) - WIP (11/12)

Summary:

Binghe’s grip on him gentles. “Oh, Shizun… You must have been lonely with me away, to turn to someone like him. No need to worry - I’m here now to take care of you.”

“I don’t need your ‘care’,” he says stiffly.

Binghe smiles, his teeth a bit too white and sharp. “I haven’t forgotten how much Shizun hates demons, but that’s alright. I’ll make Shizun’s body love me, until he can’t live without me no matter how much he hates me.”

Luo Binghe doesn’t pick charisma as his dump stat, but sacrifices his morality for it. Shen Qingqiu is left to suffer the brunt of the deep chasm of affection his disciple has nurtured towards him, all in an effort to protect the man he’d once thought to rely on to save his life.

Shen Qingqiu has accepted that yes, this is a novel. And yes, it is going to have stupid plot points that he can (probably) do nothing about. His inevitable, horrible fate is his most probable future - but hey, it's at least a ways off yet, right?

A Stallion novel has stupid tropes, but he's 100% - no, 1000% sure, that these aren't in the standard package.