#the humor is in the miscommunication

[riccissance]

one of my favorite leverage moments is in the lonely hearts job when nate tells parker to start a fight with one of their marks so parker walks over and decks her in the face. not only is it hilarious, but it's autistic rep in action! nate said fight so parker started a fight! and they even have nate promise to use the word argument next time instead because he recognizes why she did it that way. just a+ characterization all around

[charlieeenby]

meeting robin

the justice league is happy that batman is socializing, but they're worried that he doesn't seem to notice when robin is switched out every few years

warnings and tags: miscommunication but it's funny, alien invasion, mentioned violence

“Batman,” Clark said slowly, “why do you have a second heartbeat?”

Instead of responding, Batman grunted.

“A second heartbeat?” Barry questioned, zipping over. “How would that even work?”

Another grunt from Batman.

“Batman?”

“I don’t.”

“But I can hear a second heartbeat coming from you.” Clark said, confused.

“It’s not mine.”

Barry choked. “Huh? Who is it then?”

“Robin’s.”

Clark frowned. “Who’s Robin?”

Batman grunted again, and Barry groaned.

“Come on, man!”

Then, Batman’s cape, which hid his entire body, shifted. Clark heard a small giggle. A child popped out, beaming.

“I’m Robin!” he exclaimed, clearly excited to be there. Barry was startled and jumped back a bit.

“What the f-” he stopped short when Batman glared at him. “Fudge?”

“Batman, what is…who is this?” Clark asked.

“This is Robin.” Batman said, like it explained anything.

“We got that. Why is he here?”

Robin bounced. “I’m gonna help!” he said, and Clark caught an accent he couldn’t quite place.

“Help?”

This got him a nod. “Yeah. B said I was ready to meet the Justice League!”

“Who’s B?”

Robin squinted at Barry’s question. Then pointed up at Batman. “B.”

“Batman, where’s Robin?” Diana asked, surprised the young vigilante wasn’t with Batman.

“He’s busy. Couldn’t come.” Batman said, and Diana got the sense that there was something that Batman wasn’t saying to her, but she decided to leave it be.

“I see. Is he alright?”

“Fine. Work.” Batman seemed to be giving short answers again, something he’d stopped doing after Robin had shown up.

“Well, tell him we all missed him, please.”

Batman grunted.

“Batman, what happened to Robin?” Barry questioned, staring at the small boy that had replaced the teen they’d watched grow up. This one seemed shy, half hidden behind Batman.

“Nothing.”

“Well something had to have happened, Robin was a lot taller last time we saw him.” Clark said, also watching the boy. “That’s not the same person.”

“No.” Batman said in an almost growl.

“Huh?” Barry said, confused.

“That’s not the Robin we know. That’s someone else.” Clark said.

“We’re ready to start.” Diana said from behind Batman and Robin, the latter of which startled by her.

Clark heard a quiet ‘woah’ from the boy and smiled. He must be a fan of Wonder Woman.

The Justice League and Robin shuffled into the meeting room, Robin sitting in a chair very close to Batman.

For the entire meeting, he sat quietly, mostly watching Diana with obvious wonder across his face.

Afterwards, Diana approached him, kneeling down to his level.

“Hello. My name is Diana.”

“H-hi.”

“How long have you been Robin?” she asked gently.

“Uh,” he looked up at Batman, who nodded encouragingly to the small boy. “A few months.”

“And are you enjoying it?”

Robin nodded. “Yeah. It’s fun and we get ta help people.'' This boy had an accent as well, though it was quite different from the first Robin’s.

“That’s wonderful.” Diana said. “We’re excited to work with you, Robin.” the kid beamed, looking like he was having the best day of his life.

“Batman, what the fuck?” Barry exclaimed, ignoring the various looks he got at the curse. “Why did Robin get smaller again?”

“Because I’m a different person.” Robin said.

“But he just replaced the first one like, two years ago!”

“Four, actually.”

“Batman? Could you explain, please?” Diana asked.

They got a grunt in response.

Clark sighed. “Batman, please, can you explain this?”

Robin scoffed. “Are you stupid?”

“Robin.” Batman’s tone had a warning in it.

“There’s nothing to explain.”

A grunt.

“Batman, Robin is a girl.” Hal said, confused and done with the entire thing.

“Is that a problem, fuckface?” The entire League took a step back, surprised by this Robin’s language.

“No, of course not. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Hal said, trying to recover.

Robin huffed before turning back to Batman.

“Language, Robin.” was Batman’s response.

“Oh, come on, I coulda said a whole lot worse.” Her accent reminded Clark of the second Robin’s accent, though more pronounced.

“Tell that to Agent A.”

Robin gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

Batman grunted, though this sounded like one of his amused grunts.

“Fiiine.” She turned to Hal. “I'm sorry for calling you a fuckface.” that got a sigh from Batman.

She turned back to Batman. “Happy?”

Batman grunted again, and while Robin seemed content, Clark and the rest of the league had no idea what it meant.

“Oh my god, this one has a sword!” Hal screeched, running into the meeting room.

“Who does?” Diana asked, standing.

“Robin! Batman got a new one and he has a sword! He tried to stab me!”

“If I had tried to stab you, you would have been stabbed.” a small voice said from the doorway.

Everyone looked over to find Robin, scowling and glaring at all of them.

“He looks just like Batman.” Barry whispered, and Clark agreed. The boy in front of them had an uncanny similarity to Batman.

“Of course I look like him, I’m his son.” Robin snapped, and there were various gasps around the room.

“His son?” Barry’s pitch was high enough that Clark winced.

“Yes.”

“Robin.” Batman appeared behind Robin, frowning at the small boy and looking more annoyed then concerned. “Please don’t stab them. They are our allies, not our enemies.”

Robin looked annoyed, glaring at the Justice League. “Fine.”

“Go sit.” Batman said, nudging the boy towards a chair.

Clark looked up when the computer whirred to life.

“Recognized, Nightwing, B-0-1. Recognized, Red Robin, B-0-3. Recognized, Spoiler, B-0-4. Recognized, Robin, B-0-5.”

Clark stood and walked over to the zeta tube, staring at the four people that stepped out.

“Hey, Supes!”

“Who are you?” he asked, confused.

“We’re-” the one in black and blue started, but was interrupted by the one in red.

“We’re looking for Batman. It’s an emergency.” he stated, matter of fact. “Where is he?”

Clark hesitated. He didn’t know these people or how they got into the tower to begin with, but he wasn’t keen on taking them to Batman.

He didn’t have time to make a decision before the zeta tube started again.

“Recognized, Red Hood, B-0-2.”

He knew that Red Hood was a crime lord, how was the computer recognizing him?

“Where’s B?” Hood asked as soon as he was through.

“We’re still working on that.”

Hood groaned. “What part of ‘emergency’ did you not understand?”

The person dressed in purple scoffed. “We just got here and Superman is in the way. You wanna fight Superman?”

Hood looked over at Clark. “Hi.”

“Hi. What’s going on?”

“We need Batman. Got a bit of an emergency.”

Clark frowned and looked down at Robin. “Robin, what is going on? Who are these people?”

Robin scoffed. “Hood and Red Robin both informed you of what is going on, Superman. I didn’t know you were that dense.”

At least he knew the name of one of the new ones.

“Alright. Just, stay here, okay?”

“Fine.” Robin snapped, looking annoyed.

Clark went over to the chair he’d been in and hit the intercom. “Batman, you’re needed by the zeta tubes.”

A few minutes later, Batman appeared. When he saw the assortment of vigilantes, he sighed loudly.

“What happened?” he asked, sounding tired.

“We are being attacked by aliens.” the one in purple said.

Clark frowned and Batman shook his head.

“So you came up here to tell me instead of using the coms? Why?”

“Well, the com lines are down.” Hood said. “So yes, we came up here.”

“B, we really need to go take care of the aliens. Can we go?” the one in black and blue asked.

“Yes. Go, I’ll be down in a minute.” Batman said, still just sounding mildly inconvenienced instead of like someone who was just informed of an alien invasion.

As soon as they were all gone, Clark rounded on Batman. “What the hell? Who are they?”

Batman grunted. “Notify the rest of the League, then get down there.” he walked away, and left through the zeta tube.

Clark sighed and did as Batman had asked.

“Will you explain this now?” Clark asked, waving at the group of vigilantes that all said they worked with Batman, despite the League only knowing about Robin.

Batman just grunted and Clark was about to lose it, but then Batman said, “Robin.”

Clark stopped. “Huh?”

“Nightwing was the first Robin, Hood the second, Red Robin the third, and Spoiler the fourth. Orphan was never Robin, but she was Batgirl. Signal is new and has only ever been Signal.

“What the fuck?” Barry exclaimed. “I thought they all died!”

Hood raised his hand. “I did die.”

Batman sighed at that.

“Did he really?” Clark asked.

“Yes. But he’s fine now.”

“Am I?”

Batman groaned.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Eskel noted Geralt’s scent on the crossroads. There wasn’t a lot of overlap in their paths (with so few witchers left, the priority was to cover as much ground as possible, not seek company), but Eskel had chased a creature much farther west than he usually went.

After a long, difficult hunt, Eskel decided he deserved to spend a night in his brother’s company.

Only, as he’s following Geralt’s scent trail, he hears an unfamiliar voice. The voice is in the same direction as Geralt’s scent. But Geralt didn’t take people on hunts, did he?

Eskel finds the source of the voice at what could only be Geralt’s camp. A man in a multi-colored, unbuttoned doublet is cooing and chatting at Roach. Who, amazingly, tolerates the noise. She’s also letting the man braid her mane.

What the fuck?

Scorpion, having recognized Roach, announced their presence with a neigh. The noise startled the colorful man. The man spun on his heel, fumbling to pull out a knife at his waist.

That knife…that was a Kaer Morhen blade!

Upon getting a good look at Eskel, the colorful man relaxed and sheathed his blade.

“You witchers, always sneaking up on poor bards. I swear, one of you shall startle me into a heart attack one day.”

Though he griped, the colorful man looked cheerful as he approached and held out his hand.

“Jaskier the bard, master of the seven liberal arts, at your service. Who might you be, sir Witcher?”

He was baffled by the man’s sunny, fearless attitude, but he took the hand, saying, “Eskel of the wolf school.”

“How delightful! Do you know Geralt?”

“We consider each other brothers.”

“And yet he never mentioned you. That man,” Jaskier tsked, “He never tells me anything!

“If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t tell us much either.”

Jaskier went on to tell Eskel that Geralt was out hunting and would be back soon. The bard invited Eskel to make himself at home and join him by the fire. They simply must become acquainted!

As Jaskier went on, Eskel got a good whiff of his scent. It was familiar to him. It was something that hung on Geralt when he returned from the path. Not to mention, Geralt’s scent was all over this man.

Given all of these signs, Eskel could only come to one conclusion: this was Geralt’s secret lover. The only thing that could make it more obvious would be if they exchanged medallions, which was impossible because this man wasn’t a witcher.

Eskel wasn’t surprised that Geralt kept his lover a secret. He had always been a bit territorial. And getting personal details out of Geralt was like trying to pry an alligator’s mouth open.

How lucky he was to encounter Jaskier! They could fill each other in on the details Geralt was needlessly stingy with.

I'm a huge sucker for witchers-meeting-jaskier fics, especially when they come to the conclusion that Geralt is in love with his bard (because he is!) I love this, I love this, I love this!

[stealthetrees]

Commander Fox is very injured and his batch only found out cause his medic wrote such a scathing report about it. Many other medics are confused and worried about a patient who is being looked after by a doctor that said “I hope that son of a bitch gets the rest of what’s coming for him”.

Cody and Rex are able to get to Coruscant to see him, and are distraught to find he’s been attacked by a sith. Lightsaber burns, even lightning scars all over his body. They ask who attacked him and got an earful from the other commanders that 1. Fox should be dead right now and karma will fix that oversight shortly if one of them did not and 2. Stop being sad for him it will only encourage his reckless behavior.

Cody and Rex get them to admit it was Palptatine, at witch point they are ready to get the pitchforks and torches, when Thorn sits them down and explains that Fox somehow got it into his head that Palpatine is somehow the mastermind behind the creation of the clones and also the war, which he is controlling both sides of, and is using the whole situation to grab power and will later name himself emperor of the galaxy.

Everyone agrees that that is insane. Thorn then explains Fox has been attempting to blackmail Palpatine. He broke into his apartment one night and startled the poor old man, who was just trying to defend himself. Palpatine is also currently in the hospital recovering from the fight with Fox. It’s not until Cody and Rex are all the way back on their ship that this means that Palpatine is, in fact, a sith.

[wangxianficrecs]

you gotta help me; i'm losing my mind by livinginaworldofnoise

you gotta help me; i’m losing my mind

by livinginaworldofnoise (@gh0st-0f-luke)

G, 3k, Wangxian

Summary: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun I noticed that my coworker’s boyfriend seems more interested in me than in her. How should I bring this up? r/relationship_advice @ demonicgrandmaster how do i seduce someone who can’t take a hint?????? OR: reddit is not the best place for advice Kay's comments: I'm always so delighted when I come across a well-done Reddit AU and this one was so much fun! We have Lan Wangji asking reddit for advise since he thinks his co-workers boyfriend is flirting with him and he doesn't want there to be any office drama. We have Wei Wuxian asking for advice since the guy he's been flirting with, his roommates co-worker, seems to be incredibly dense, and we have Mianmian, who's just so. tired. It was so much fun to read and the format was excellently used. Excerpt: r/relationship_advice @ HanguangJun Update: My coworker’s boyfriend showed up to the office when she was not there and proceeded to spend the entire afternoon at my desk. Should I talk to her? This is an update to my previous post. As the title describes, my coworker’s boyfriend pulled up a chair next to my desk and would not leave despite my repeated requests for him to. My coworker is at a conference this whole week, so there was no reason for him to be here. I believe this is an excessive amount of interest for him to be showing in someone other than his girlfriend, so I am seeking advice on how to discuss this matter with her despite suggestions to the contrary on my prior post.

pov outsider, modern setting, modern no powers, reddit au, aita, relationship advice, office drama, social media, crack, crack treated seriously, humor, misunderstandings, miscommunication, mutual pining, oblivious lan wangji, getting together, developing relationship, first date

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[riality-check]

Roadie/rockstar fic is all done!

Summary:

"At the beginning of his rant, lecture, whatever, Hottie stares right at him. He has a really intense stare. Pretty brown eyes set in a prettier face with even prettier hair on top of his head. Eddie gets distracted by all that pretty and by trying to make his point. And he doesn’t notice until halfway through that Hottie isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at his friend. Eddie looks at her, too. Looks at her confused and focused expression. Looks at her hands moving rapidly. Oh. G-d. Hottie’s deaf, isn’t he?" It's the first time Corroded Coffin goes on tour, and a well-intentioned Eddie Munson puts his foot straight into his mouth when he tries to talk to a light tech. God bless the power of stupid apology songs, shared experience, and twenty four hour diners for giving him a second, better chance. (A Deaf guy and an amputee walk into a twenty four hour diner for a combination first date and apology meal.)

tag list under the cut

@vampireinthesun @paperbackribs @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @messrs-weasley @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @omgshesinsane @bestwifehaver @marklee-blackmore @gleek4twd @steddiestains @chaoticvictorianspirit @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @alienace @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @punctualhowell @pluto-pepsi @voidpacifist @sunfloweringstories @anaibis @evillitteguy @hallucinatedjosten @avi17 @b-u-g-g-y @shinekocreator @l0st-strawberry @brassreign @abbiecadabi-blog @rainbow-freckle @gregre369 @rehfan @just-a-tiny-void @weirdandabsurd42 @satan-is-obsessed @honeysucklesinger @coyotepup345 @gayafmermaid @thegingerrapunzel @tiny-enthusiast @abstractnaturaldisaster @snapshotmaestro @stxrcrossed186 @darkrose517 @re-bec-ca-ann

[silvialightning]

My Adventures With Superman is such a good show……

[readingnreccing]

I Shot Cupid (I swear I’m not even that psychotic) by JoWithTheFlow

bnha | teen | 11k | monodeku | complete | anonymous confession

Izuku slid his thumb underneath the top of the note and quickly popped it open before he chickened out. If he chickened out, Iida would remind him of the note’s existence (because there was no way Iida wouldn’t do that) and then it would be awkward because Izuku would have to explain he hadn’t forgotten, he was just avoiding it. And Izuku was already awkward enough as it was without adding to it. Izuku read the inside of the note. He blinked. He blinked again. “Midoriya-kun?” Iida asked. “Is everything alright? Your face looks—” Numbly, Izuku showed him the note. There was a moment of silence, and then there were two moments of silence, and then Iida said, “It is unsigned.” Izuku flipped the note back around, looking at it again as if he expected the words to have changed in the time Iida had been reading it. Honestly, Izuku would have been less shocked if they had, because, well… I like you.

Ok, hear me out, Monoma and Izuku would be unstoppable, okay? So this is the most awkward Izuku story in the most delicious way. Izuku receives an anonymous note telling him "I like you". It was left on his locker and it's not signed, and Izuku simply cannot believe it was for him, he thinks he is undatable (which his friends are so cool about disproving him of the idea). Meanwhile Monoma, with whom he had become friends, simply reverted to his old ways, and worse, and Izuku is not sure what's going on. (it's not like he has a crush on Monoma and doesn't know how to deal). Amazing everything! Super fun and funny!

Author’s tags: Humor, Light Angst, Angst and Humor, Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Awkward Midoriya Izuku, and boy is he awkward, POV Midoriya Izuku, that's right! it's just him for once, Kendou Itsuka is a Good Friend, Idiots in Love, BAMF Kendou Itsuka, Just because I could, Midoriya Izuku/The Floor, the one true pairing of this fic, Minor Ashido Mina/Uraraka Ochako, blink and you miss it kind of minor but still there, Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Supportive Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Midoriya Izuku Has Good Friends, Todoroki Shouto is the Ultimate Ride or Die Friend, fancy paper!, the paper isn't important but i love it and also am extra so tag, Kendou & Midoriya Friendship Supremacy, Big Milk Conspiracy: Milk Doesn't Make Your Bones Stronger, Midoriya Izuku Has the Nervously Chaotic Energy of a Blind Old Chihuahua With Anxiety

Remember to leave feedback to the author! <3  @jowiththeflow

[atuats-sidechick]

First chapter for my FTH24 fic. Thanks @lilrobinbird for the prompts and the early comments <3

I hope y'all enjoy some Rangshi and Heituat fluff with a side of Zoryu being an idiot!

Chapters: 1/8 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Zoryu (Avatar)/OC, Atuat/Hei-Ran (Avatar), Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Zoryu (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Rangi (Avatar), Hei-Ran & Kyoshi (Avatar), Atuat & Rangi (Avatar), Atuat & Kyoshi (Avatar), Kyoshi & Zoryu (Avatar), Jinpa & Kyoshi & Rangi (Avatar) Characters: Hei-Ran (Avatar), Atuat (Avatar), Kyoshi (Avatar), Rangi (Avatar), Zoryu (Avatar), Jinpa (Avatar) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Some Humor, Humor, Family, Family Fluff, Avatar: The Last Airbender – The Rise of Kyoshi, Avatar: The Last Airbender – The Shadow of Kyoshi, Fire Nation (Avatar), Firebending & Firebenders, Waterbending & Waterbenders, Airbending & Airbenders, Earthbending & Earthbenders, Spirit World (Avatar) Summary:

Zoryu was to be married to Su-Jin, from the Ma'aoki clan, were it not for the intervention of a spirit. In an attempt to have the wedding take place as planned, Hei-Ran invites Kyoshi and Rangi to the Imperial City and asks Kyoshi to negotiate with Ka'ba Ma'alu, the hippo-cow spirit. During their stay in the Fire Nation, Hei-Ran attempts to communicate to Rangi that she and Atuat are in a committed relationship. Things don't go as planned.

[byierficrecs]

❝ look before you leap ❞ author: @elmaxed

link: archiveofourown.org/works/45082792

personal blog || submit a story || support me on ko-fi 💐

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 98

Geralt comes clean to Jaskier one night that he feels as if their friendship and their traveling partnership is a little onesided, but because he's Geralt, he doesn't articulate this well enough to actually draw you to the correct damn conclusion. Jaskier assumes Geralt is dropping hints that Jaskier isn't doing enough. Geralt hunts and provides for them, and he does the contracts, and he does the cooking (Jaskier would set water on fire if he could) - Thus, Jaskier begins doing more in order to try and prove himself to Geralt. Geralt has finally admitted to Jaskier that he hasn't been doing enough. Jaskier made Geralt famous with one song, Jaskier barters their prices, Jaskier sings to earn them money every night, Jaskier holds his own in the fights he's unfortunately involved in, Jaskier takes care of camp while Geralt is away hunting, Jaskier massages Geralt, and cares for his hair- I mean, it's so much that Jaskier does for them, and Geralt feels he doesn't do enough. But Geralt has finally admitted that he's not doing enough to Jaskier, so now he has the motivation to do better! He just wishes it didn't keep seeming miraculously more and more difficult to keep up with Jaskier-

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo-(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) - Oneshot

You've always been a bit shy by nature. Leo said that it was endearing. You were the very definition of innocent. Whenever Mikey made his little innuendos, you would get as red as a cherry. Leo often found his eyes lingering in your direction. He couldn't help it. Being around you made him a little more protective. So it was a complete shock when he'd finally approached you about his feelings. That adorable color had rushed to your face again as you made a stuttering confession of your own.

That's how you became a couple.

The only issue is the distance.

It was poor timing at best. You'd applied for an internship in Washington three months ago and the acceptance letter finally returned. So for the next two months you're away from him. Leo of course was overjoyed for you. But you knew there was a part of him that was a bit disappointed that he'd have to spend two months away from you.

He called as often as he could considering his night job. You both would send texts and updates back and forth.

But you still missed him.

Due to your bashful nature, you never even got to share a kiss yet.

The day he'd sent you off his smile was just too charming. You paced out the room before anymore could be said, and you could hear Leo's soft chuckles that day as he bid you a safe and eventful summer.

Your internship is coming to an end. You had a week at most left, still that didn't stop your heart from aching just a little.

For the last couple days you found yourself missing Leo more and more. Hoping he'd somehow just turn up at your window. Walk through your door.

Slip into your bed....

Your thoughts would not stop rolling, so you decided to enlist some female support.

"April speaking."

Her voice echoed on the other side of the phone.

"H-Hi April."

"Oh hey, how are you doing? Leo's been sending us pictures of everything. It's really sweet."

You swallow.

"Y-Yeah he's great. It's s-sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. "

This is nerve wracking.

"Did something happen?"

"N-No everything's fine!"

In a manner of speaking.

"I've just been thinking about Leo..a lot.." You let out a breath, and there's a stillness on the other side of the phone.

"Wait..are you calling me for tips about phone sex?"

Red was too little a word to describe the state of your face at the moment.

"N-Nevermind! Good bye!"

You hung up the phone before anything else could be said, dropping your phone on the bed. When it buzzed, you jumped. Looking down, you read the message.

"Just tell him how you feel. It'll be fine. Good luck!"

The note did not deter your embarrassment, but you did feel a little more at ease. Smiling, you sent her a reply.

"I can do this."

For once, you would be forward. You needed to tell him what you wanted. Even if you passed out in the process.

That night you waited patiently by the phone, just scrolling through the cute messages you'd exchanged with him the night before. He always added little animal emoji's especially the puppy because he knew how adorable you thought it was. When the phone rang, your heart skipped a beat. You released your heavy breath, clicking the button as you pressed the phone to your ear.

"Hi Leo."

“Hey, I can't wait to see you Friday. Raph has been giving me a hard time. I know when you get back you can set him straight." You laugh at that. For some strange reason Raph became very obedient whenever you asked him to do something. He'd once commented that you reminded him of a pitbull puppy. He treated you like a little sister. So whenever he got into it with Leo you'd give him that look and he'd back off with a huff, patting your head. Sometimes being small and shy comes in handy.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you Leo."

He let out a soft laugh, and you find yourself a bit dazed. Your legs shifted against the sheet, and you gripped at the pillow to try and elevate the warmth that began to travel through your body at such a simple sound. You clenched the phone, and before you could stop yourself the words came barreling out.

"Leo I miss you so much! I-It's been driving me crazy. I keep thinking that you'll just show up but then I open my eyes and you're not here. It's so frustrating! I want you here with me. I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want you to touch me!"

You couldn't stop yourself. The second that last statement came out, you felt your stomach drop. The realization of how desperate and clingy that sound hits you and your lips quiver.

"I-I'm sorry Leo I-I.."

You can't find the words. Before you can humiliate yourself further you hang up. You shove the device under a pillow, clenching another to your chest as you try not to let any tears fall.

He would definitely be weirded out.

"What if he breaks up with me.."

Dread hit you like a brick, and before you could get too deep in your thoughts, your phone rang. For a moment you just stare. Because the possibility of him calling to say that this is too much, or he needs time away from you is terrifying. The last ring resounds in the air, and you finally answer the phone.

"L-Leo I-I shouldn't have said that.."

You feel like an idiot.

"Did you mean it, everything you said?"

That's not the question you expect. But you answer nonetheless.

"I..I did."

There's a bit of shuffling on the other side of the phone.

"I miss you too, so much."

His tone has lowered significantly, and a little shiver rushes up your spine at the unexpected shift.

"You never have to feel bad about being honest (Y/N). I want you to be honest with me. Tell me when something upsets you. Excites you.."

You nibble at your fingernail.

"Y-You don't think it's weird?"

"Not at all. I'm a little relieved. To be honest I was worried you would find someone on your trip. I know we're officially a couple but I just feel like we just started out. Distance sometimes shows us what we want and need. I guess I got a little clingy."

You can't believe it. This whole time he's been feeling exactly the same.

"I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about what it'll feel like to kiss you. I've wanted to for so long. Seeing you so flustered that day when you left though, it just made me want it more."

You close your eyes. His words are like honey.

Every whisper is a promise of something more.

"I-I'm sorry that I always run away."

"You don't have to apologize."

His voice is always so soothing, reassuring. Leo's known since the moment he met you. It was one of the many reasons that he loved you.

"Tell me what you want. I'll do anything."

You can imagine the possibilities of that request.

Anything..

"If you were here right now...what would you do Leo?"

You can't help but ask. You have to know.

"I'd kiss your cheeks. They always get so adorably red."

You smile, as you turn unto your stomach, kicking your feet back and forth.

"Then I'd have to kiss you. Nice and slow. I want to feel everything, taste everything. You probably have a pack of gummies nearby. You're always munching on those. I bet you taste so sweet right now." You gulp, rolling onto your back as you release a little breath.

"Whenever you fall asleep on my bed you always manage to hike up your shirt. You have no idea how much I've had to retrain myself. Sometimes you're so defenseless. Right now I'm almost positive that you're not wearing a bra. I could slip my hands right under your shirt."

Your thighs are clenched together.

"What color panties are you wearing right now?" He asks softly.

"T-They're blue." Your fingers graze the top of it unconsciously.

"My favorite color." He hums appreciatively.

"I'd let you take them off yourself, I want to see how flushed your cheeks can get. Or I can do it myself. You'd like that wouldn't you (Y/N)?"

You nod eagerly.

"I-I would." You admit shamelessly.

"Lifting you into my lap would be so easy. I'd have to tease you just a little. I like it when you squirm. Do you think you could handle it if I just licked you right at the center? It'll definitely be sweet. Every bit of you is sweet (Y/N).."

You can't stop the soft moan that leaves your lips. You press your hand to your lips almost immediately to stifle the sound. Leo lets out a deep chuckle.

"I'll be waiting for you on Friday (Y/N). You better get a lot of rest."

It dawns on you that he's about to say goodnight.

"W-Wait Leo!" You whine.

"This is payback for running off without giving me a kiss." He taunts. You huff, cheeks now burning.

"M-Meanie."

He continues to laugh.

"Have a good night (Y/N)."

You hear the dial tone and you groan, dropping your head on the pillow.

[wangxianficrecs]

The Misunderstanding by kisahawklin

The Misunderstanding

by kisahawklin

T, 9k, Wangxian

Part of the MXTX Bargain Bin

Summary: Lan Huan sees some unusually pricey things on Lan Zhan's credit card statement. Wen Qing sees Wei Ying coming home from dates with expensive jewelry. They have some concerns. Kay's comments: Ah, meddling brother Lan Xichen and meddling sister Wen Qing doing their best, completely misunderstanding the situation and almost wrecking Lan Zhan and Wei Ying's brand-new relationship - I really liked this one! Never read something like it before and the outsider POV is beautifully done. They really do just misunderstand everything. Excerpt: Lan Huan doesn't think much more about Wei Ying until the next credit card statement shows up with two pricey dinners at high end restaurants, multiple cash withdrawals, and some expensive jewelry. It is possibly Lan Zhan going overboard for someone he likes. Lan Huan thinks he has probably dated a little, here and there, but he's never liked someone enough to mention them to Lan Huan, much less be this extravagant with his money. He tries not to let the nagging feeling that's settling into his stomach turn sour. Maybe it's just Lan Zhan not being sure of himself, wanting to present himself as a worthy partner. He texts Lan Zhan and asks to meet for dinner again. We should do this every month! I miss your cooking and I don't get to see you enough. How's next weekend?

pov outsider, modern setting, modern no powers, protective lan xichen, protective wen qing, wei wuxian & wen ning & wen qing, lan wangji/wei wuxian get a happy ending, humor, misunderstandings, miscommunication, light angst, angst with a happy ending, single parent wei wuxian, getting together, dating, @kisahawklin

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[daz4i]

borderlands is like the series that probably has the most wrong fandom for what it wants to be. like it's a huge fictional universe with so much lore, it has really good and emotionally impactful stories. sometimes. bl3&tftbl2 dni, awesome queer rep, solid characters with touching bonds; and then most of the fandom is like. gamer bros who only care abt farming and misgendering nb characters ig

[bingqiufics]

Title: Scum Villain’s Accidental Romance System

Author: BurnerAccount

Relationship: Bingqiu

Timeline: Canon Divergence

Status: Complete

Rating: Teen

Length: Novel (80K) - WIP (11/12)

Summary:

Binghe’s grip on him gentles. “Oh, Shizun… You must have been lonely with me away, to turn to someone like him. No need to worry - I’m here now to take care of you.”

“I don’t need your ‘care’,” he says stiffly.

Binghe smiles, his teeth a bit too white and sharp. “I haven’t forgotten how much Shizun hates demons, but that’s alright. I’ll make Shizun’s body love me, until he can’t live without me no matter how much he hates me.”

Luo Binghe doesn’t pick charisma as his dump stat, but sacrifices his morality for it. Shen Qingqiu is left to suffer the brunt of the deep chasm of affection his disciple has nurtured towards him, all in an effort to protect the man he’d once thought to rely on to save his life.

Shen Qingqiu has accepted that yes, this is a novel. And yes, it is going to have stupid plot points that he can (probably) do nothing about. His inevitable, horrible fate is his most probable future - but hey, it's at least a ways off yet, right?

A Stallion novel has stupid tropes, but he's 100% - no, 1000% sure, that these aren't in the standard package.

[ihateliterature]

I love the miscommunication trope because I think alloros are weird and unreasonable on the regular, so seeing a character hear half of a conversation about their secret love who they think hates them but is actually in love with them too, that makes them run away to the ends of the earth and die while their love interest searches for them only to find and grip the lifeless body in their arms is processed as a dramatization of how alloromantic relationships usually work

Yes, I see you like you see dumb characters in miscommunication plots, if you are displeased maybe stop being like that