#the guy with a funny amount of weapons

[wandering-wolf23]

Just saying, I've actually done the "taciturn shortarse with a comically large number of hidden weapons on their person" IRL.

[winepresswrath]

I will laugh so hard if it turns out that John is making a sincere effort at being a decent parent and it's such an awful outcome for Gideon that I feel like it's plausible. He's giving off such man who thinks of himself as a good guy confronted with oops baby vibes.

[rainyinautumn]

Did someone say COMPLETE DATA ANALYSIS OF ALL THE DEATHS IN THE LIFE SERIES? No? Well. I did it. Here are some neat graphs for you guys to look at so that you don’t have to deal with the gigantic spreadsheet I did!

Let’s start off with the big bad question: what gets people killed in this game, anyway?

Note that a CAUSE OF DEATH is not the same as a KILL. Cause of death is what pops up in the chat when someone dies (ex. PearlescentMoon was slain by Smallishbeans, BdoubleO100 fell from a high place). The cause of death does not always account for player responsibility (ex. TNT traps). Generally, a player is only considered to be someone’s cause of death if the death occurs through direct PvP combat. HOWEVER, responsibility for an indirect kill such as a trap still goes toward a player’s total kill count—for example, Joel has 14 kills overall, 10 of which are direct enough for him to be considered the actual cause of death. After all, axes don’t kill people without being swung by someone.

A few other whacky things about kill counts:

Self-inflicted deaths do not count toward a player’s kill count (ex. Grian doesn’t get a kill for jumping off Monopoly Mountain at the end of 3rd Life, Scott doesn’t get a kill for blowing himself up at the end of Double Life).

When it comes to Double Life, soulmates are considered to share their three lives. No distinction is made between Soulmate A's life and Soulmate B's life, and each death only counts as one kill (ex. Joel gets one kill for killing Scott with fireworks, even though that also killed Pearl (however, Pearl’s cause of death is still Joel, as her life is considered the same as Scott’s)).

Using the /kill command does not count toward your kill count. Grian.

With that cleared up, let’s look at kill counts.

By the skin of his teeth, Grian leads the pack in total kills. The top three you see on that graph are the only players who have a KDR (kill-to-death ratio) of more than 1—for you folks who are unfamiliar with those, a KDR of more than 1 means you kill other people more often than you die. Less than 1 means you die more often than you kill other people. Here are the highest and lowest KDRs in the series:

“What’s this?” I hear you say. “Jimmy Wet-Paper-Bag-of-a-Man Solidarity DOESN’T have the lowest KDR in the series?”

No. No, he does not, and it’s actually really funny you should ask.

Because of Last Life’s mechanic of life transferring, even players that have been in all three installments of the Life Series don’t have the same death count. Eight players died more than three times in Last Life. Another eight died exactly three times. And one player only died twice.

By virtue of starting on yellow and never receiving any extra lives in Last Life, Jimmy holds the record for fewest deaths in an installment of the Life Series with just two deaths in Last Life. He is the only player to ever die less than three times in a game. This means that although he has just one kill, he has fewer total deaths than BigB (who has died a very standard nine times), the only other player with one kill, so his KDR is higher. Congrats, Jimmy, you’re not last in everything. But you are still the only player without a PvP kill.

Speaking of PvP, it’s time to look at how people do that! Here’s a graph of the top five weapons that tend to land PvP kills the most in the series:

And now here’s weapon preferences by game:

[Double Life not depicted due to lack of PvP deaths—only 4 occurred, using a diamond axe, a diamond sword, fireworks, and an iron axe respectively.]

Despite 19 more deaths occurring in Last Life than 3rd Life, the two actually have the exact same amount of PvP kills (28). It’s interesting to note the strong preference for bows in 3rd Life, which was a much more warlike game and had several fairly formal battles where people fought from a distance. Last Life required an overall sneakier strategy, resulting in a higher use of traps. In combat, non-ranged weapons like swords and axes were generally preferred due to fights often starting in close proximity and without warning, courtesy of the Boogeyman curse. Comparatively, Double Life saw remarkably few PvP kills, likely due to each person being twice as accident-prone by virtue of being linked to another player—in fact, with a total of 12, accidents accounted for three times as many deaths as PvP in Double Life and overall for more than half (57%) of the deaths in the game.

As for individual player stats sheets, here’s an example of one of those:

If you want to see one of those for ALL 17 PLAYERS, you can go to this slideshow! More details about the stats can be found in the presentation notes of each slide. And, if you have a really specific question and want to get into the nitty gritty, feel free to send me an ask! Hope you guys enjoyed the data!

[to-be-a-dreamer]

I’ve been reading the Grishaverse books/watching the Netflix show for the first time over the past couple weeks or so and I just have to say that I think it's so funny whenever Kaz gets snarky about Inej's proverbs or Matthias's religious talk or Jesper’s Jesperisms or anyone else being even slightly philosophical or theatrical or whatever because Kaz Brekker is the most dramatic bitch in all of Kerch. Like. I'm pretty sure this kid graduated top of his class from the School of Dramatic One-Liners with a double major in "Commit to the Aesthetic" and "Writing Epic Love Poetry Whilst Maintaining the Bad Guy Reputation". Dude wanted to impress a girl and wasn’t sure if getting the whole ass king of Ravka to find her long-lost parents was enough so he bought an entire warship from his friend who absolutely would have just Given It To Him but noooooo Mr. Protecting-My-Investment over here had to pay a fair price otherwise it doesn’t count.

The only, and I mean the ONLY reason I don't say he's the most dramatic bitch in the entire Grishaverse is because Nikolai Lantsov exists and that man once wore his entire army uniform under his jacket to go volcra hunting in the Shadow Fold on the off chance he would get to make a dramatic reveal at the end. He put a spring-loaded curtain in front of the weapons rack on his personal ship just in case he had guests he wanted to show off for. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did the dramatic flourish every time he opened those curtains for literally no one but himself. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he made that set up after he had guests he wanted to show off for. That curtain either went up two hours before he used it or it was the first thing he built on that ship there is no in between.

I need copious amounts of Expo markers, PowerPoint slides, and glitter to figure out which one of them takes the title it is CLOSE.

[acotarxreader]

Mirror Part Two

Azriel x Reader

Warnings: High angst, drama, fluff, injury, Tamlin

Synopsis: After your abrupt exit from the night court you return to your worldly travels but the rising threat of war with Hybern has Rhysand seeking out his favourite weapon once again

Synopsis: You were gifted with the ability to mirror other fae's magic with a simple touch and your free spirit nature leads you to cross very close to the borders of a hidden city, where your future best friends and soulmate snatch you out of the sky to protect their border.

Inspired by Who's Afraid of Little Old Me & My Tears Ricochet by Taylor M.F Swift

A/N: Welcome to part two of this dramatic guy! Sorry for the lil wait! Let me know what you think friends!

I think I'm gonna write my first Eris fic hehe

Requests Open

Part 1

--------------------------------------------------------------

The War with Hybern

You passed through the mist like the shadows of the night that swaddled you, deep south in Prythian, practically in the Mortal Realm. Spring Court had crumbled to the weeds and whims of the High Lady of Night, your mortal enemy that you never met. You drifted from the face of the earth like the ghost Rhysand’s neglect had turned you into, banished to exile from the world that broke your body before breaking your spirit. You adjusted to the loneliness with surprising ease, melting back into the solitary figure you were when taken from the skies above Velaris, your free spirit exchanged for a shattered one. The events of the budding war with Hybern came to your knowledge through the ever-winding grapevine of gossip and tales. The very escapades of your former family and its new members provided you with equal amounts of amusement and worry.

“Bad dog!” You flung your shoe playfully at the great towering beast at the entrance of the cave you were currently occupying, the green-eyed beast released a growl as he dropped the carcass of the freshly slaughtered deer on your doorstep, tracking blood all over the rock. 

“How I love your visits dear YN” He growled before tilting his head slightly and returning to the wild. You and Tamlin now had a shared interest in your hatred of the Night Court’s leadership, his welcome of your travels through the shell of his court for the first time in centuries gave you the flicker of a homily feeling you’d banished from your heart. You used the Spring Court as you had The Middle, as a base of operations before travelling to see every inch of the world you could. He offered to bring you to the countless run-ins he had had with the Court of Dreams as a new war with Hybern began to threaten the peace. You weren’t really sure if it was so much because of Rhysand that it was because of Azriel that you hadn’t returned, the shattered friendship too much to think of. You watched an onyx shadow leak from your knotted knuckles, the last trace of Azriel you had to hold on to. Your shadows pulled along the carcass of the animal, the sight turning something in your stomach. You shuddered slightly, a sense of alarm growing in you at something in your world being tampered with. 

You winnowed to the ruins of the Tamlin’s residence, the shell of once reviled power and grace much like the owner. Traipsing up the steps of the crumbling house, the sound of a male you hadn’t heard from in such a long time rocketed through your system. 

“Rhysand?” You heard your voice speak without making the conscious decision to, Tamlin lifted his head from his hands as he sat at the rotting table, Rhysand spinning with unusual unease at the sound of your voice. 

“YN-” He took a step towards you instinctively, you following your own intuition, stepping back from him. “-You’re here?” “No need for the personal visit High Lord, if you wanted me dead you should have just said” 

“YN, I can’t believe you’re really here” He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised, his best had tracked your movements to the discarded court. 

“Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you. Why are you here?” You chewed out, the ghost of a smirk passing Tamlin's face. 

“Just visiting the High Lord of Spring” “Why? Need him as a weapon? Find value in him now you need him for war games?” Your icy words plummeted the temperature in the room, Rhysands wings slumping. 

“YN, don’t be like that”

“You can leave, Tamlin like many others, do not need you to faux interest in our lives for them to hold value” You circled around the table, running parallel to him across the dissolving oak to land next to Tamlin as he sat back in his chair, quietly smug.

“So, are you in love?” You laughed at his question, Tamlin matching the sound. 

“No, I think you took any ability for me to feel that from me” Rhysand searched your eyes for the way you used to look at him, for any semblance of the female who’d cleave the world apart for him, for any leverage he might still have with you. 

“You’ve made your request Rhysand, go” Tamlin found some ounce of long-dead confidence in him to shun the Lord of Night. 

“Hm” Was all he replied, moving to dissolve but stopping to witness a small shadow leak from your fist, a sign you had potentially seen Azriel recently, not the truth which was that you had kept the shadows with you since you fled, the last connection to a feeling of home. He nodded his head, a small laugh leaving him before vanishing. You pushed the back of Tamlin's chair to turn him to face you in his seat. 

“What request?” “Hybern is preparing to rage a war, he needs further assistance” He practically whispered before standing again and crossing the ruins of the dining room.

“So I was right, he did just want you as a weapon” “Actually-” his hand landed on the heavy door “-He wanted you” Tamlin melted into his beast form once again, leaving you to think through the words, your eyes looking down to the scars the last Lord of Night had left you. 

—--------------------------

You winnowed to a high mountain top you hadn’t graced in some time, your eyes looking upon your formerly beloved home of Velaris, the word home like acid in your throat. You looked towards the Town House, the once monument to your love, a mausoleum to it now. You sighed aloud before turning towards the House of Wind, something calling out to you through the night air, an idea growing in you. the sound of your feet hitting the stone gently filled the library. The dark shrouded you with unnatural warmth as you called quietly into the hollow pit for an old friend of yours. 

“Little mirror, you have returned” “Bry, don’t be coy with me” You could hear the creature of nightmares smile through the shadows.

“What do I owe this long overdue visit my little mirror?” You could feel its energy swirling around you but keeping enough distance so as not to risk you mirroring it. 

“Hybern is planning to attack and I wish to know what side of the aisle you find your wonderful self on” You had thought of your old friend as the perfect addition to a team you had no plan on being directly involved with.

“They have not yet asked my little mirror” The chill of its voice met your skin with a flush of contrasting warmth, inspecting you for any trace of harm.

“When they do, bargain for something of little matter to you that they can’t refuse and then once you have completed your task, go free” “Indeed-” he hummed at your self-assured tone “-why bother trying to help them little mirror?” “Let's say it’s out of habit” you laughed lightly, the wisps of dark air feeling as though a grin could be felt in them. You looked up to the mouth of the pit above you, the faint outlines of bookshelves shrouded in darkness haunting above.

“Ask for a window Bry, you deserve to see the world you will once again grace” Energy graced over your hand in thanks so easy for you to capture and yet it had no value to you T when compared to the sentiment of what you had at your finger tips. The sound of footsteps up above had you jolting slightly, retreating further into the dark so as not to be seen. 

“Be safe friend” You whispered softly before winnowing out of the depths. 

—-----------------------------------------

Shadows sank into the cobblestone as you manifested on the singing streets, your feet felt light along the heavy rock, practically levitating towards your old haunt. You stood at the gate of the Town House, the shadows of the residence dancing across the candlelight in the window, happy fae dancing in the streets as if not in the presence of the creature they turned you into. 

The Town House was decorated to within an inch of its life, banners and streamers flowing freely from every corner as music sang through the house to the garden where the majority of the party was revelling in the moonlight. You followed the radiate path to the garden you’d spent years cultivating, willingly ignoring the changes to decor made by the new Lady of Night. 

You watched the Inner Circle at the bottom of the garden, your former family rejoiced in celebration of the birthday of a fae you only knew through stories of the Hybern War. Nesta glowed in the moonlight. You looked among the now expanded Inner Circle, Azriel noticeably missing as you took another step down the path, Cassian swirled Nesta around, you smiled genuinely at the sight, so happy to see him happy. The smile faded as Rhysand did the same to Feyre before they walked hand in hand to the other side of the garden, your once favourite spot, the perfect view of the Sidra. 

You found your feet taking you in their direction, slightly secluded from the rest of the Inner Circle. The sound of your steps on the soft grass made a silent sound that sent shivers down Rhysand’s spine as he turned to see you standing on top of the slope, staring down at them. 

The music seemingly stopped dead, your appearance at the party stopping the revelry like a record scratch as you spoke-

“Doesn’t look much like a war is nigh right now, now does it?” You clasped your hands in front of you, eyes burning into the former love of your life. 

“YN-I-” “This is YN?” Feyre stepped from behind her mate, her beauty illuminating the path up to you and you hated her for it, you looked around at the world you believed she stole from you but realised as quickly it was Rhysand who had committed the theft.  Feyre moved to close the distance between you both, stepping from her mate's grasp to practically square off to you. You could feel the power radiating from her, so tempting to take but would replace the last scrap of Azriel you had access to. Still, you enjoyed the thought of rattling Rhysand.

“Ah, Feyre, Rhysand’s lovely High Lady of Night, I don’t think we’ve had the displeasure of formally meeting” You outstretched a hand, she instinctively went to take hold of it, and Rhysand immediately pulled her back.

“Don’t let her touch you!” He ordered, some fae looking in your direction at the disturbance to their antics. “Who’s afraid of little old me?” You laughed again, it reverberating off Feyre’s chest

“Don’t go near her” “Where is this hostility coming from Rhysand, I seem to remember it was you who made the first act of aggression” You lifted the small cuff of your sleeve, the hint of a small arrow-shaped scar still marking you centuries later. 

“Leave YN” “You sought me out, I’m returning the visit” Feyre’s head darted towards her mates at the revelation.

“Oh? He didn’t tell you? My my always one for secrets Rhysand” you tsked, circling them as Rhysand’s father once had done to you, a hunter and her prey. 

“YN, I’m am celebrating with my family, if you could extend some courtesy and-” “Courtesy!?-” You scoffed loudly “-You crossed out the good years with me, cursed me the moment I treated you with the same respect you’d given me for years, banished me to the same solitude you used me to escape from! So you don’t deserve courtesy! And now, even when you are mated to pure power, I can tell you wish I stayed, you curse my name wishing I stayed! Your favourite fucking weapon!” Years of repressed anger flooded from you to the space between you and the mates, Rhysands face greying as he clutched onto Feyre’s hand like you may steal her away forever. 

“I-I didn’t do anything to you YN, I just fell into this world, this was hard on everyone” Feyre rattled out, your heated gaze landing on one of the most powerful fae to grace Prythian. You took a deep breath in before speaking again-

“Oh boo freaking hoo-” "You found yourself laughing coldly “-Figure out the Hybern thing by yourselves, I’ve already had enough” You span on the ball of your foot, striding up the very path you had designed to get the best view of the garden. 

“And those new curtains look horrific!” You called back over your shoulder to the mates before reentering the house you wished to burn to the ground with your vitriol. 

-

You returned to the now suffocating air of the Velaris streets, feet bouncing off the cobble as you walked down the hill, your muscle memory bringing you down the way to one of your favourite spots in the city. The moment your mottled shaking hands met the cooling brick of the Sidra’s boundary wall, the tsunami of tears you fought every day since leaving flooded your atmosphere. 

“YN?” Azriel crossed the same bridge you said goodbye to him on those years before, the paper bags containing Mor’s favourite alcohol smashed to the stone floor. The stream of oak-coloured liquid flowed to your shoes. Shadows darted around you like dogs flocking to their owner after a long time apart. You laughed at the feeling of them swirling around you, lightly nipping at your face in their own form of pecks to the cheeks, banishing tears. You managed to open your eyes between their displays of affection to find Azriel standing with pure shock on his face, arms hanging by his sides and wings dipping to match. 

“Am I hallucinating?” “No Az-” You smiled wide through tear-stained cheeks “-I came back to take another strip off of your dear brother” You watched him pinch his arm to ensure he was truly awake. Azriel then flew at you in a similar fashion to his shadows, wrapping his arms around you to practically crack your bones. 

“Az-You’re-suffocating-me” You managed, laughing again once he gave enough of a release to allow your lungs to expand. 

“Why is it every time I find you on this bridge you’re crying?” He wiped a thumb across a stray tear, your crooked hands holding his to your face before they could move back away. 

“I love the drama” you laughed through fresh tears.

“Why are you back YNN?”

“Well, Rhysand came to visit me in Spring Court-” an almost growl left Azriel in response “-and he’s in need of his favourite weapon again” A definite growl left him this time, his hands dropping away from you as he turned to look back up the direction of the Town House.

“I told him to leave you alone, I didn’t track you down for you to be used as-” “You what?” He turned back to your slightly tilting head.

“Well…you went radio silent on me, I had to make sure you were okay-” a shadow clipped his ear somewhat sharply “-We, we had to make sure you were okay. You left us” The last three words tinged with undeniable heartbreak, heartbreak you had felt yourself. “Az, I had to leave”

“But you didn’t have to leave without me” an element of anger leached from him.

“Az” “No, you left! Rhysand might have broken your heart but you obliterated mine! Chipped away at it over centuries” A sharpness never reserved for you cut into your skin with similar pain to what Rhysand’s father had dealt you. 

“Azriel I’m sorr-” “-It broke me every time you chose him and all he did was tolerate you! Tolerate the love I so desperately wanted! And now I watch as he gives Feyre even a fraction of everything you deserved and I hate that I didn’t fight harder for you! I hate it! Hate how he  weaponised and ruined the love of my life!” His raised tone bounced off the flowing waters of the Sidra, the sound of his century's worth of repressed resentment tumbling out of him like the small waves hitting the boundary wall. 

“YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO BE HAPPY EVEN IF IT MEANT RUNNING AWAY FROM ALL THIS!” “BUT I THOUGHT YOU’D TAKE ME WITH YOU”

“I SHOULD HAVE! I FUCKING SHOULD HAVE!" You roared back, an onyx shadow of your own making curling around your vibrating fists, Azriel’s eyes shot towards them, his hand taking a gentle firm hold on your wrist before you could bolt out of his life again.

“You’re still mirroring me” he whispered so softly you thought you imagined it.

“Yeah… it was all I had left connecting me to you, to my home, to someone who would always do more than just tolerate my love” You returned the words with equal tenderness, eyes fixating on your shadows swirling into his, your eyes illuminating like they hadn’t since first landing on Azriel’s. His hand slipped from your wrist to your hand, chasms and fissures of equal cruelty knitting into one another so the skin may feel whole again.

“YN! You don’t get to leave like that!” Your heads moved in unison to look up towards an enraged Rhysand, you released Azriel’s hand on sight.

“You don’t control where I do and don’t go anymore Rhys” you chewed back.

“I am regretful for what happened and how it happened but don’t let the little incident that happened between us stop you from defending your people!”

“Little incident?” Your chilled laugh returned, a shiver running down Azriel at the sound. 

“YN, be sensible here” Rhysand has his arms out as though trying to corral an animal as he steps towards you, Azriel instinctively standing between the two of you. 

“YNN is entitled to spend the rest of her life how she wants to, she owes us nothing” His hardened stare cut through his brother, shadows swirling around his feet.

“Az, we need her power to-” “-We need her to be happy, Rhysand. That’s what we always should have needed of her, we owe her everything. You took no issue in me destroying those who destroyed me, she should be given that option, even now” Azriel spoke with clear conviction, the words causing Rhysand to purse his lips in thought. 

“If she doesn’t join then she will succeed in destroying us by not helping us” He looked around Azriel to you, your thoughts racing at the words. You stepped back from the two brothers, your shoes crushing the glass of the smashed bottles. 

“Follow your own past decisions Rhys and don’t follow me” You dissolved in front of the two as they began to argue once again. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------

That day you watched Tamlin ready what little forces he had, the thought of your former family defending your homeland without your intervention ultimately being your deciding factor to join. That and the thought of giving Rhysand any semblance of moral high ground. 

You transversed the battlefield in a shielded shadow, blasting the enemy as you flew alongside the Illyrian-winged warriors. A blood-curdling call of a female you didn’t know drew your attention downward as Cassian flew down past you towards her, too fueled with adrenaline to notice you follow closely as sudden strikes of pure cauldron power shot down and destroyed the warriors you had just flown alongside. You landed on the battlefield with such force it split the soil, Cassian’s head turning towards you rapidly locking eyes on you as you both found yourselves smiling at one another. 

“YN, you came!” “I miss you Cass, stay alive” You called back before bolting back into the now-cleared skies as more and more warriors rose to replace the fallen. From above, you covered Feyre unbeknownst to her, the collective goal having more importance in this moment. You watch as she reaches the cauldron with Amren allowing you to double back and continue your onslaught. Rhysand’s true beast form rises from the ground and you feel a bolt of fear at the pure sight of him. You swoop down to meet his side as he tears into the enemy, Helion dashing to join his side as he reforms himself into his beastly counterpart. 

“YN!!!” Rhysand roars down to you as you sprint around him, you leap on top of a razor-sharp talon as he shoots towards the sky, your knotty hand pressing into the scales of the High Lord. The feeling of familiar pure unadulterated power coursed through your veins, never did you think you’d mirror the High Lord again, the traces of betrayal tinging the power as it blasted from your outstretched hands to mist a sizable amount of enemy forces. Bryaxis coursed around you, shielding you from any retaliation as Rhysand and Helion unleashed on the battlefield. 

“I have to get to Feyre!” You hear Rhysand screech out as you cover him along his way towards his mate, the shift in the air undeniable as Amren is released from her bindings. You defend the space the cauldron occupies, allowing Rhysand to rush to Feyre’s side. Something cracks deep in you as you hear the High Lady of Night shriek in pure pain, fearing Rhysand has taken his final breath. You winnow to Tamlin as he sinks tendrils of power into some stragglers of the Hybern arm. 

“Tam! With me!” He has no hesitation in taking your hand, you winnow with him to where the cauldron claimed its price, Feyre begging for help from the High Lords. A chill shoots up your spine, rattling your bones. Your face hardened before you reached for Helion’s hand, mirroring his energy before you sank back into the shadows, following your own thread to land alongside Azriel, his wings in tatters as you dropped to his side. 

“YNN” he writhed out in pain, your arms encapsulating him, you feel Helion's power course through you as you attempt to heal him back to whole, your own body crying out in pain from the events of the war.

“It’s okay Azriel I’m here, I’m here” Your tears fell into his hair as you clung his head to your chest, his own heartbeat struggling to match yours. The light flowed across your disjointed digits, stitching the centuries-old wounds together as it poured into Azriel.

“I wish I didn’t let you leave that night YN” “I wish I didn’t leave you that night” You cried out, gently rocking him back and forth, his hand landing on your forearm to hold you closer. 

“I wish to carry a piece of you with me forever YNN”

“You can have all of me Azriel” You stretched down to meet his lips before he used what little energy he had to lean in, fully surrendering to every dream he dreamt of you from the moment you pulled the knife from his wing centuries ago. The glow that radiated from your energy returned and Azriel once again wished to bask in it for the rest of his days. His torn flesh stitched together as the healing energy flowed between the two of you. The feeling of home you never thought you’d have again blazed through every cell until it was just you, Azriel and shadows of onyx mirroring one another's endless hope for the future. 

-------------------------------------

Whatcha think?

Tag: @saltedcoffeescotch @popcornlauncher @notepaper @panther-girl-124 @mirandasidefics @slightlyjaded @moonlwghts @tsunami-of-tears

[seduzist]

that love, the crazy kind.

guinevere beck x fem! reader

cw: mentions of sexual harassment, stalking, obsession, murder, blood, smut (just a little), reader is kinda joe in this??? idk but they’re both crazy

beck was just different, different from anything you knew, she was the type of person that enchanted since the first time you saw her, looking for some book at the store you worked at. and since this day, you couldn’t stop thinking about her, stalking her anywhere, watch carefully every step she made.

didn’t take more than 10minutes for you to find out she liked girls, it was all over her social media, likes and shares here and there, it was like she was looking almost desperately for a girlfriend. and it has to be you, you were the one.

and of course, after some months of preparation, you showed beck that undeniable truth, she fall for you easily and just like you thought she was the perfect girlfriend. she was understanding and gentle, she was funny, sexy, lovingly, respectful, smart, and all of the things you’ve ever dreamed of.

everything was just how it should be. guinevere beck was just perfect.

until, that night.

one of her terrible friends invited you both to a stupid bar with stupid people and a stupid guy couldn’t stop looking at you. at first, she maintained her calm and silence, she wasn’t the jealous type, not at all.

she didn’t even lose it when he tried to hit you, asking you if he could buy a drink and giving a little drunk smirk that made she wants to take it off his face.

but when you denied the offer politely, telling him you weren’t interested, he tried to touch you, not your arm, or your hand, he tried to grab you by the waist and give you a kiss. of course you pushed him and told him to “get the fuck off”. he did.

beck was so perfect after this, she driven you home, told you to shower, helped you sleep with a nice mug of tea. she made you feel safe and sound like always, but that wasn’t enough, she had to actually keep you safe.

when you slept, she thought about the whole plan, she could stay with you all night, or she could go back to that stupid bar and make that idiot pay for trying to mess with was hers, and the second option looked way better.

so she got back, it was late at night, she waited in the totally empty and dark parking lot. the establishment wasn’t exactly the type that have cams on it, and by this angle she had the perfect view of who enters or leaves.

two hours passed, but beck was still wide awake, then she saw him, staggering pathetically, so drunk that at every step he didn’t fall could be considered a record.

she gets out of the car, approaching him, faking a smile.

“hi!” she said, getting his attention. “want to see something?”

[…]

when beck got back home, her clothes were drained in semi dry blood and she still had shiverings all over her, she did everything right? she got rid of the murder weapon, she disappeared the body, she made sure to drive back home in the way where there’s no cameras.

when beck took her dirty clothes off and went to a good and long shower, she made sure to take a good look at your sleeping figure, to remind her why she did all of this, it was worth it.

but if she truly trusted you and knew about your past, maybe if she had told you about what she did, you would have the opportunity to tell beck that a corpse floats on water after a few days of death, and that amounts of blood can’t go away in laundry, it must be burned.

when she did wake you up, through, it wasn’t to talk, it wasn’t even purposefully, she was just making noises and shaking the bed, when you looked at your side, you saw her, all naked with a pillow between her thighs.

“beck?” you called and she immediately stopped.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to wake you up, baby.” her voice sounded genuinely sorry, but deep inside you knew she wanted you to wake up.

“it’s okay, keep going.” you whispered back, already sitting on the edge of the bed taking off your pajamas.

you couldn’t take your eyes off of her, her perfect body looked so good while pleasuring herself, you felt eager to touch her, but still undressed yourself slowly as she looked at you, like the sight alone made her even hornier.

when you finished, you get on top of her, taking the pillow off of her hands and kissing her instead, it’s like both of you were starving for each other, you didn’t know what made beck so eager but she certainly was.

you passed one leg through her waist, putting both of your centers together, it felt so good and warm, you couldn’t help but moan against her lips, starting in slow movements against her.

but when you looked down at her, you saw it, a little stain of dry blood just above her chest, you stopped immediately.

“what’s this?” you touched her skin, showing her exactly where it was the stain, she stuttered a few times but after some minutes she told you about everything. she thought you would be mad, or scared, she thought you would leave her, but you didn’t.

that night, you both made love more ferociously and lovingly than ever, for hours until your bodies couldn’t move anymore, that was the night when you and beck recognized you were equal, that isn’t a reason to hide each other’s feelings or personalities. that was the night where you felt like you belonged with someone, for the very first time.

[boozenboze]

Its A Scream Baby!

(Halloween Special)

Tf!141 x GhostFace!Male reader

Summary: It’s been a few weeks since C/n’s arrival to the base. Something about him is just odd, and a few twisted events lead to a certain discovery.

Females DNI

A few weeks had passed since the new guy had come in, and hell has he already made a name for himself. He was charming, mysterious, cunning, hell he was everything anyone could ask for. From day one, other sergeants, Gaz and Soap included, went out of their way to talk to him. Their reasoning to get close to the man was different though.

_______

“Never trust the new guy”, pretty suspect for someone to say when its their first day on the base. Hell its weird to say in general, especially to others.

It’s quite clear that Gaz and Soap felt a bit uneasy after their first encounter, especially when theres an odd feeling that they met the guy somewhere before. Neither of them knew what it was, but maybe it was the way the male carried himself. There was also a brief amount of familiarity when Gaz stared into the same pair of e/c eyes he had saw at the bar that night.

He relayed it to Soap that this may be the same guy from that night, the night where that woman was murdered, and SCREAM got away. It wasn’t clear from the beginning what the man wanted, but from the targeted attacks on the politicians and then that woman. It was obvious the guy was targeting people with a purpose.

______

Today was going normal, soldiers being deployed, rookies being trained, and some being lazy pieces of shit. A soldier could be seen talking to one of the other sergeants, both of them smirking and laughing together until he said his goodbyes.

He made his way back to his barracks, which was at the end of long hallway. Some of the lights hadn’t been working properly, and maintenance hadn’t been able to come on base due to some bullshit reason. The sergeants footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, and when he was halfway down he turned around.

It was odd, despite knowing that he was safe within the base, he had an odd feeling he was being followed. There was no one there, but it felt like the atmosphere was changing. The walls felt as if they were closing in, so he decided to keep walking. Sweat trickled down his forehead, the feeling not going away at all. It felt like the halls had gotten much longer.

He let out a startled noise when the lights went out. He looked around frantically, heart now pounded in his chest. He looked behind him and saw nothing again. Well. That was until the lights came back on. It was a fairly tall person, staring back at him with a….ghost mask?

“H-hey man, very funny.” The startled soldier said, looking at the other figure at the end of the hall. The tension only thickened when there was no response. They just stood there, and from what it looked like this wasn’t even a soldier due to the lack of tactical gear they had on. The soldier’s fear diminished, annoyance now replacing it as he huffed.

“Ok asshole! Your not funny!” The soldier yelled again, still not getting a response.

“Whatever..” The soldier said, turning around to keep walking. Maybe he was scared for nothing, this was just some asshole in a costume trying to scare people. The lights flickered again, making the sergeant turn around again. The figure was still there, only this time he was way closer. With a groan of obvious, aggravation, and a bit of aggression he yelled out again.

“Ok ya piece of shit, ya wanna go!?” The sergeant yelled out, voice echoing through the hall. “Come on! You can do shit like this so why don’t we-“

He stopped speaking, a flash of silver showing in the figures hand. It was a knife, more specifically a hunting knife. He looked at the figure, eyes widened as he stared back. He pulled out his gun and pointed it at the opposing masked individual.

“Don’t try anything, I have a gun.” The man spoke, trying to stay confident in the situation. His grip on the weapon tightened when the masked male began approaching him. The hooded robe with the faux tatters made the masked man much more intimidating, making the sergeant back away.

“S-stop it, I-i’ll shoot you!” The sergeant yelled, backing up despite having the clear upperhand. He shrieked when the figure ran at him, he let off a few rounds, missing each one of them. A thud was heard as his body hit the ground, the masked figure having tackled him. His attacker was now seated in his lap, looking down at him. He tilted his head, looking down at the frightened soldier beneath him.

“Whats wrong soldier, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” A distorted, and robotic voice spoke. The sergeant tensed up, watching the man above him twirl his knife with ease between his fingers.

He brought the knife to his face, dragging it along the skin of the other soldier’s face. The cool metal of the knife made the soldier whimper, fear in his eyes as he looked up at the man.

“D-don’t, h-hurt me.” The sergeant stuttered, feeling the knife travel down from his face o his neck, making his breath hitch.

“Oh you don’t even have to worry about that, the pain will be over quite fast.” The masked man spoke again, pulling out a small Polaroid camera. The soldier beneath him furrowed his brows in confusion, though it was quickly replaced with one of pain as the knife pierced into his stomach. His glasses flew off his face as he flailed beneath the man who was stabbing him repeatedly.

“AGGh!-“ The man screamed, spazzing under the masked man whose hand was still on the knife, the other holding the camera. He yanked the knife out, stabbing the soldier again, and again, and again, and again, in different spots. Blood was now painting the floor, and the soldier looked as if he was already of the brink of death.

He choked on his blood, the thick substance bubbling from his throat. He coughed, in attempts not to choke on his own blood.

“W-why…” His voice croaked, looking at the masked man who was now standing above him. He glued his eyes shut when a sudden white flash met his gaze. His attacker having taken a picture of him in his dying state.

“You guys really think your that sneaky eh?” The masked man spoke, mockery in his tone. The dying soldier looked confused, wondering what the man was on about. The look on his face when his tag was pulled out. The card that had all the information he and a few other spies had.

“I rest my case.” The distorted voice said, pocketing the tag again. He then took his knife out again, stabbing the now identified spy. With one foul slash, he cut the man’s throat wide open.

He stared at his work, not very satisfied in what he wad done. He hadn’t gone far enough in his eyes.

———-

“How the hell did this happen.” Soap asked, pacing around the room, wondering why a soldier was suddenly brutally attacked. Better yet, how did the security cameras not capture the footage of the bastard who had done it. To make matters worse, pictures of the attack had been left behind by the attacker.

It was so sick, the mans guts having been splayed all over the hallway near the barracks. Images of the mans facial expressions when he was being stabbed, and to top it off a smile had been carved into the soldiers face.

Gaz and Price were examining the photos, several of them having been left behind. Some of them were blurry, having not developed properly after the photo was taken. There was one thing that caught Gaz’s attention. The sergeant that had been attacked was wearing glasses, and the reflection of a certain man was shown.

Price looked at Gaz, who seemed to have froze immediately after looking at the photo.

“Something wrong there sergeant?” Price asked, leaning over to look at the photo himself. He was confused, not entirely sure what Gaz seemed to he staring at…..That was until the brown skinned man put the photo closer to his face. Now he could see why he got so tense.

“SCREAM…” Price spoke, catching Ghost and Soap’s attention. Both men approached the table, Ghost taking the photo and looking at it himself.

“Bloody fucking hell.” Ghost spoke, Manchester accent more rough than before. The Scottish man heard enough, wanting to get ro the bottom of this. Everything was fine these last few weeks, nothing like this had ever occurred before. So why, why, and who was doing this, and more importantly for what?

“This makes zero sense…how the hell could he have gotten here!” Soap yelled, angry and confused at the situation. His emotions were valid though, how did SCREAM end up on base? How did he vet in without being detected? None of it made sense, and what made it worse was that this attack also seemed targeted. Example being before when that woman and those politicians were killed.

Nobody came to mind, not to any of them. This was really a pure mystery of who SCREAM really was. It can’t be any of the other sergeants, reason being none of them seemed to held ill intention towards others. It couldn’t be any of them….duh. It couldn’t be c/n-

Soap’s thoughts stopped. The e/c eyed males code name now engraved in his head.

“Never trust the new guy…” Soap murmured, making Gaz snap his head in his direction.

“What’d you just say?” Gaz questioned, brows furrowing, needing reassurance that Soap really said what he did. Price and Ghost looked at each other, before looking back at Soap.

“Sergeant, do you know something…?” Ghost questioned, intimidating figure towering over everyone in the room. Soap sighed, looking back at the pictures.

“I think I know who our guy is.”

——Timeskip: Two Days——

C/n was walking down the hallway, tactical gear in place as he began to approach the doors to the training area. He bumped into someone, another soldier. They seemed annoyed and decided to shove him back, telling him to watch it before he kept walking.

The e/c eyes male stared him down, examining him as he walked away. He noticed a similar tag dangling from the soldiers pants, making him follow behind him.

The soldier didn’t notice the male at first until he was near two doors. One leading to the armory room and the other being a closet for old equipment. He yelped when he was suddenly shoved into one of the rooms. He swung at the attacker, hitting them square in face on their cheek.

His breath hitched when a knife plunging into the side of his neck. He choked on his own blood, a nasty gurgling noise being heard as he did. C/n glared at the man, watching his body go slump against the wall while holding his neck.

“You really need to watch where you keep these lyin around.” C/n spoke, holding the card up in the soldiers face who was now dead. He took a deep breath, relieved that he would be the reason that intel wouldn’t be getting to anyone outside the base.

He began to walk back to his room, opening the door and shutting it behind him. He took off his gear, putting it in its respective spot. He had a slight bruise forming around his cheek, but it wasn’t very painful either. He walked into his bathroom and began to wash them, getting the blood from underneath his fingertips out before rinsing with water.

He was about to leave, until the closet where he keeps all his towels and other necessities opened. An ominous creaking noise being made due to the hinges being a bit rusty. He squinted, eyes widening when someone stumbled out.

“Agh fuck-!” The intruder yelped, almost tripping over their own feet. It was….Soap..?

What the hell is he doing in his room?

“C/n…we need to talk.” Soap said, holding a hand out to make it known he wasn’t here to hurt him. C/n backed up going back into the main part of his room, he turned around to see Price standing near his nightstand next to his bed, arms crossed with his brows furrowed.

“Ok seriously what the fuck is this.” C/n said, looking around frantically. He always had his door locked, so they must’ve pick-locked it or something. C/n went to grab one of his daggers that were in his pocket, only for Gaz to pop up behind him and grab his wrist.

He snatched his wrist away, his dagger falling out his pocket. He decided to get to the door, opening and about to run out. Too bad he ran into a wall, looking up to see Ghost staring down at him.

The h/c haired male felt his soul leave his body in that moment. Sure he was strong, but he was practically cornered at this point. He backed away, eyes darting around to different parts of the room. He bumped into Price, his back hitting his front while Ghost pressed himself against him. Gaz came in on his right while Soap was to his left.

“We’re gonna have a talk….a long one.” Price spoke, breath hitting the back of C/n’s ear. “SCREAM.” Price tossed the males mask to the side, the ghostface mask staring back at them all.

They had him boxed in……..literally. Four big guys surrounding this mischievous killer on the base.

He’s fucked

(Literally and Figuratively)

(A/n- Happy Halloween bitches🧫🧙‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️💀)

[artemismoorea03]

DP x DC Prompt: I Couldn't Just Let Him Die

So one thing I don't think is touched on enough is the fact that Danny never wanted to be a hero. Like, yeah, we all know he didn't want o be a hero and he makes a joke about it but when we actually think about it this was a life he choose because nobody else was there to help. The main reason?

He didn't want people to get hurt.

Something Batman would relate to.

Now, while I love the idea of Danny absolutely beating the shit out of Joker or any villain who absolutely deserves to have their shit rocked by a kid who is only 5'5" and weighs at most 120 pounds, when we actually think about Danny's character what's more likely? Again, no hate to any of the people who do those fics, keep it up, I love seeing Joker get his just deserts.

But hear me out.

Warnings for fighting, violence, and DC typical weapons.

There was a new meta in Gotham and he was driving Bruce crazy. This kid showed up out of the blue with absolutely no information on him anywhere online or otherwise with tech so outdated not even Oracle could hack it. The only thing Bruce knew about the kid was that he called himself 'Phantom' and that he was a teenager around 14 years old.

Other than that the kid had been a pain in the ass.

Muggings? Phantom took care of it by saving the person then lecturing the person until a Bat or police showed up then literally vanished.

Fires? Phantom would fly in and out of burning buildings repeatedly with no care for his own safety. No mask, no fire protection, nothing but the thin suit he wore.

Kidnappings? Don't worry, Phantom had it handled long before Batman could even get the call to help! EVEN WHEN IT WAS ONE OF HIS OWN KIDS WHO GOT KIDNAPPED!

Granted, Phantom never got in the way of a fight but the amount of evidence that was lost due to what he was doing and how he was doing it was inconvenient. Fingerprints got wiped, evidence of what started fires were covered in an unmeltable ice, kidnappers took off the second their captive was freed and were practically untraceable after that.

It wasn't until a massive Arkham breakout that he actually got to properly meet the kid. Every prisoner had broken out and the city plunged into madness as heroes ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Villains against heroes, criminals verse vigilantes, villains verses criminals - it was a madhouse.

Batman could hardly keep track of it all but when one of Penguin's men threw a bomb into a crowd and it landed near Joker's feet there was a long silence. It was like the city had fallen silent all around him as Batman tried to get to the bomb.

Joker was a villain.

Joker had hurt his family, killed millions of innocents including his own son, but he was sick. He didn't deserve to die.

Apparently Phantom agreed because he flew faster than Batman could track him shoving Joker away from the bomb before encasing the bomb in ice.

"Hey! What's the big idea shovin' me, bub?!" Joker said, seemingly forgetting about the bomb that was still in the kids hand. Joker walked right up to Phantom, glaring down at the shorter male who just looked at him. "Think you're some kind of hero?!"

Phantom blinked, "I feel like answering that is a trap."

Joker grabbed Phantom by the front of his shirt, "A funny guy, huh? Think you can out joke the Joker?"

"Again. That feels like a trap. I'm not trying to do anything, Clowny. But I wasn't about to let you die."

Joker glared, "Why?"

Phantom slipped out of Joker's hands somehow, much to Joker's confusion. "Because that's not who I am. Criminal or not, I'm not going to let you die if I can protect you."

"Who says I need protection?"

Phantom held up the bomb again with a deadpan look. "Lucky guess." He said, then suddenly noticed something to his right. "Oh, gotta go. Later Clowny."

"IT'S JOKER!" Joker shouted after Phantom as he flew away. "Batman! Teach your baby bats some manners!"

"He's not mine, Joker." Batman said, marching over, grabbing Joker's wrists and cuffing them behind his back.

Not yet anyway. But with a mentality like that... maybe this pain in the ass could learn a thing or two from a Bat.

[moonrisecoeur]

romance — leon kennedy

author’s note: i am sick this is actually a really cute fic. although i might be a lil mentally ill. this fic is for @ovaryacted so i hope u like it nic :3 feeling re6 leon vibes hehe !!

wc: 4.7k

content: detective leon x psycho reader, fem!reader (reader wears a dress and is referred to femininely), no d/s dynamics but reader is slightly more in control, lots of pet names (sweet girl, pretty girl, princess, my girl, sweetheart, sweetie, pretty wife), talks of marriage, unprotected sex, blood as lube. reader is like actually insane but leon loves her.

warning: this fic is dark content, containing moderate amounts of blood and gore depictions, along with discussions of murder, torture, bodies, weapons, etc. please read with caution and take care of yourself.

—

notes:

"i'd love to see you in a beautiful dress," he says softly. 

“i would look pretty just for you.”

leon chuckles and squeezes your hand again, it's funny how he can go from fearing you to becoming utterly enamored with you in a matter of moments.

"i have no doubts about that, sweetheart," he replies, "now come here."

—

“what… have you done now, princess?” he stumbles, because when you said you look good in red, he clumsily thought you meant you were going to wear a red dress for him. 

“the guy was asking for it, lee,” you tell him, taking a step closer to reach out to him, but he steps back, “are you… afraid of me?”

“kinda. i also just… i don’t want you to get blood on my work clothes,” his smile is always gentle towards you. there’s no reality where detective kennedy can get mad at you, though. he adores you too greatly.

your eyes drop from focusing on his soft, warm gaze, to trailing down his body. he really does make himself pretty for you. black blazer and black dress pants on top of a red wine button down, top two buttons left unbuttoned because obviously the s in leon s. kennedy stands for slut. or maybe selfless? sensitive? submissive? who knows?

either way, you have the eyes of a predator. he knows you know that, yet you make no attempt to ease his mind, to tell him, ‘oh, it’s alright baby. i would never hurt you’ because neither of you are sure if that’s true. 

“blood on your clothes, huh..?” you murmur, almost distantly, like your mind was somewhere else.

“we, uh, have dinner reservations, baby. why don’t you get cleaned up and we can go? i don’t think… the restaurant would appreciate blood all over their chairs and tables,” he looks away, and then back to you. your eyes are hungry, but he tries to keep you focused, “baby, you got rid of the body, right?”

“well.. not necessarily… i wanted to dismember him myself,” you pout, like you were asking for something a lot less gruesome. like, ‘leon, could we please get ice cream after dinner?’ but instead you were asking something a little bit more on brand for you. he doesn’t even know why he’s surprised.

“just… okay, whatever. just c’mere and kiss me, sweetie,” he welcomes you into his arms again, refusing to even pay any mind to the viscous scarlet liquid that saturates his velvet suit, your hand staining his neck and you reach to rest it on the back of his neck. he stopped caring about the mess and wrapped his arms around your waist.

you kiss him feverishly, stained hands and tainted souls clashing together. leon was rotten before you met him, corrupted and dark. you feel a bit more comfortable with the fact that you have not ruined him. there was nothing good about him to ruin. he lies, fabricates and destroys evidence, forces confessions, truly a brutal guy. 

and yet, for the pretty thing that clutches onto him, only feeling truly happy in his arms, he is comfort. he’s safety and goodness. he is everything that’s right in her world. your world.

you are awful. but so is leon. that is why he loves you so dearly. if people like you both are even capable of such emotions.

your dress is carmine and if leon didn’t know any better, he’d think you were a victim of a heinous crime, but he does know better. and he knows there is not a single scratch or bruise on you.

leon holds you close to him, hands wrapped around your waist, giving you his complete soul, enjoying the warmth of your embrace and the familiar feel of your lips pressed against his. he squeezes you tightly and runs his hands along your hips, his touch smooth and gentle. 

leon is your complete opposite. your touch is forceful and aggressive, but leon is gentle. all your body knows is his softness. you are erratic and violent, but leon is composed. 

as you continue kissing him, leon's breath becomes heavier and his heart beats faster. he pulls away for a moment, panting gently as an expression of pure joy and relief crosses his face. leon leans down again, this time capturing your chin between his fingers as he looks into your eyes, soaking in the sight of you.

“you… are beautiful,” his voice echoes, low and full of an adoration even leon can’t wrap his head around. scarlet covers your figure, and all he can see is utter beauty. 

“you got anywhere to be, detective kennedy?” you smile as you address him professionally, but it’s only teasing. your hand is moving to help him shrug off his suit coat and he thinks he might be here a bit longer than he thought. you throw it onto the table.when your hand starts moving to help him take off his jacket, his eyebrow raises in interest, and his eyes follow the movement of your hand until it touches his shoulder and starts undoing the buttons.

"no, nowhere in particular," he says casually, watching his coat get thrown to the side. you’re careless. that is expensive velvet, and your red hands definitely just ruined it. it’s alright he muses, he’ll just replace it. 

the coat, he clarifies to himself. he’ll replace the coat. not this memory with you. 

"excellent," you tell him, crimson fingers tangling into his blonde hair, “i wasn’t going to let you leave anyway.”

"i figured as much," he chuckles playfully, enjoying the feeling of your fingers digging into his scalp, massaging the tension away. leon's body relaxes against yours, savoring the feel of you pressed against him. he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer.

"i've been working way too hard today," he sighs, and he sees the soft pout that comes to your face. it’s gotta be the cutest thing he’d ever seen, "don’t look at me like that, baby. i just didn't get much of a chance to relax. it’s my job, princess.” leon squeezes you tightly against him, the warmth from his body radiating against yours.

“how does your brain work for that long?” you shake your head, “i feel like i would start losing it with how long of days you work. you shouldn’t have to work so hard, lee.”

"i swear, i was staring at the same case file for like, ten hours straight," he sighs. "i can't look at those numbers and words anymore."

"i bet," you mumble, noticing the way the blood is drying up in his hair and on both of your clothes and skin, "you look like you're the murderer now," you chuckle, "i think i'm going to have to lock you up."

leon lets out a laugh, looking down at himself and noticing the dried blood caking up in his hair and on his suit, "i bet i do," he chuckles, "i look like i've just come from a crime scene."

leon looks up at you, his eyes shining mischievously. "then i guess you'll have to arrest me," he teases, "do you have the handcuffs ready?"

you laugh, mostly because you know he’s making shitty jokes, but also because you might enjoy restraining him a little too much, “oh yeah, except the jail cell is my bedroom.”

"well, you're the officer who has to bring me in," he says with a smirk, "i don't think i'll be resisting arrest too much."

“oh, shut up, dork. just kiss me,” you groan to him, pulling him in by the hips. his white button up dress shirt being stained by your red hands feels indicative of what you’ve done to leon. it’s not like he’s perfectly pristine, he’s been a corrupt cop for years, but… you have only made him worse.

it's as if he's addicted to the touch and affection of your hands, his body becoming hot with desire. he enjoys the way you press against him, your red hands staining his shirt and staining his soul. your fingers dig into his hips forcefully as you pull him in close to you, your tainted hands staining his clothes as you do so. you've definitely made him even more corrupt than he was before you came into the picture, and he's loving every second of it.

you pull away to whisper to him, in his ear, wet blood covering his skin and his clothes, "i love you."

now, he’s known for a long time that you love him, even if that love is twisted and tainted. as blood drips down the both of you, he wraps his arms around you more tightly, burying his face in your neck as he whispers into your ear.

"i love you too, princess,”  he whispers back, not caring about the dried blood coating you both, "also, wait, where is your victim? did anyone see you? please tell me you were careful, baby."

"i destroyed his body parts already, don't worry. no one saw me."

"thank god.. or should i say thank you?" leon replies with a cheeky grin. to him, you are god. you are a religion. you are a deity who visits him in his dreams and treats him like her beloved human pet. he looks at you for a moment, his eyes trailing over your body, the dried blood of your previous victims making you look even more beautiful to him. god, you are so fucking pretty to him.

"though, i do need your help destroying evidence.." your fingers draw sweet little hearts onto his back once you throw his dress shirt off entirely, but he's certain your bloody hearts left literal, physical drawings on his skin. you are so fucking deranged and he adores you.

"i can help you with anything," he murmurs, leaning his head down to plant kiss after kiss on your neck, “that’s what i’m here for, baby.”

every trace of your blood-stained heart has been embedded and melded into his skin, like a stain that can never be washed out with bleach. he loves his psycho princess.

"but i don't want to think about that right now," you lean your head on his shoulder, "i just wanna be here with you.."

leon nods, enjoying the feeling of your head pressed onto him, the warmth from your body radiating gently, "i know, i know, baby," he says softly, "no worrying right now, just you and i."

after a moment of peace and calm, you perk your head up suddenly, a contemplative look on his face, "do you think... will i ever go to prison?"

leon chuckles, shaking his head as he continues stroking your hair, "no, you won't," he replies confidently, "not as long as i'm around, and i'm not going anywhere. i'll always keep you safe and make sure you're never caught."

leon feels the weight of your worries melt away from you. he enjoys being the one to calm you, tame you in a way. you are a monster, but with him, you’re his sweet girl with her.. mildly disturbing hobbies.

"you’ll be okay," he says gently, "i mean, if anyone does find evidence pointing to you, i'll get rid of it before it can even be used. i'm not going to let anyone come between us.”

“yeah?”

“you’re stuck with me forever, princess. i’ll make sure you never spend even one night in a jail cell. only the most comfortable living arrangements for my baby.”

you chuckle, pressing sweet kisses to his neck, “you’re the one that’s stuck with me. who knows? maybe my thirst for blood will include you some day.”

leon laughs, his body trembling slightly at your sweet kisses against his neck, he doesn't even want to think about the possibility of you deciding to kill him one day, but he also knows that it's not an impossibility. he swallows the lump in his throat and decides it's better to just push that thought away for now.

the worst part is… he knows you’d enjoy it. you’d watch the light slowly leave his eyes with glee. makes him nauseous.

"maybe," he says with a teasing tone, but it’s impossible to miss how his voice shakes, "but i'm more valuable to you alive, sweetheart."

“i know, i know.” you giggle, hands digging into the waistband of his fancy velvet slacks, “i just like playing with you. you get so nervous.. it’s cute.”

leon grins in return, but a hint of a nervous chuckle escapes his lips when he feels you start unbuttoning his pants.

he feels his heart rate start to pick up, both from anticipation and a little bit of anxiety, “you like playing with me huh…” he says in a lower, somewhat panting voice, “don’t play with your food, baby. do what you gotta do.”

you smirk, pushing him down onto his office chair, the same one you bought him a couple months ago when he was complaining about his old one. you sit yourself down on his lap, hands resting around the back of his neck, caressing him so sweetly. god, if leon closed his eyes, he could pretend this was normal and you were normal and you were both just two young lovers that adored each other. 

his hands grasp your waist and keep you close, as he's afraid you'll leave him. you can't leave him now. not after all he's done for you, to protect you, to save you from yourself. he's ruined himself for you, he's destroyed evidence and burned bodies and lied and lied and lied for you. you can't leave him now.

his psychopath. his monster. his sweet lover. him. you belong to him. 

he doesn't understand why you're so gentle with him, but you are and he's grateful, so he doesn't push the subject. when your hands pull at the waistband of his boxers, his eyes become soft and glassy and he rests his head back against the chair. you may do what you please with him at this point.

leon lets out a contented sigh as he relaxes back into the chair, his head leaning against the backrest as he gazes up at you. you are… breathtaking. a beautiful dove covered in her victim’s crimson blood.

your touch is soft and delicate, much different from the usual roughness that you've had with your previous victims. yet he can't complain that you're choosing to be so gentle with him, letting him keep this illusion of you being a normal person, just for a moment.

"can i have you, lee? right here, right now?"

it's almost amusing how normal that question sounds to him. after all this time, after everything he's done for you, after all the murders he's covered up for you, the bodies he's burned and the evidence he's destroyed... it almost makes him chuckle to hear that sentence. it’s remarkable, honestly. you’re vicious and violent and cruel… and you’re asking for consent? how adorable.

"of course," he says softly, his tone slightly pleading and desperate, "please. take me, baby... i'm yours."

you smile sweetly, though the sweetness is undercut by the blood on your face. he would almost assume you're possessed by something demonic if he didn't already know you were evil to begin with, "you make me so happy, baby." you muse gently, "you keep me safe, protect me when i mess up... i'm gonna be your perfect little wife someday."

leon chuckles softly at your words, but there's a part of him that's a little bit terrified. in his mind, he knows that this isn't the beginning of some fairytale romance, and that your intentions aren't quite pure, but he chooses to ignore those thoughts. he's already fallen down such a dark path because of your influence, so what's stopping him from falling a little bit deeper and going all the way down into this fucking madness with you?

"i'll protect you from everything," he replies, his fingers gripping tightly around yours, "nothing will ever hurt you again, my sweet wife. i’ll keep you safe and happy, always.”

"we should get married in a big, beautiful chapel. i don't need a lot of people there, i just want to be there with you."

leon grins, "you'd be happy with just a small wedding?" he asks with a hint of surprise in his voice, "i thought you'd want something big and extravagant to show off to everyone."

“all i need is a pretty dress and you,” you whisper to him.

leon chuckles, brushing your hair out of your face with his hand, his fingers slightly trembling. a part of him can't help but wonder how this would all end: would it actually end happily? with you two walking down the aisle to an altar, exchanging vows? or would it end up with his body buried deep in the woods?

he forces himself to ignore those thoughts, for now he should stay focused on the moment. you look at him so sweetly, so earnestly, so he decides to trust your intentions with him for now.

"i'd love to see you in a beautiful dress," he says softly. 

“i would look pretty just for you.”

leon chuckles and squeezes your hand again, it's funny how he can go from fearing you to becoming utterly enamored with you in a matter of moments.

"i have no doubts about that, sweetheart," he replies, "now come here."

you smile as you lean in to kiss him again, hands finally resuming their movements to get into his underwear.

leon lets out a soft groan, his muscles tensing as he feels your hands slip through the fabric of his underwear, pulling out his cock for you to play with, or so he assumes you’ll do. you play with it like it’s a toy, something you can just have fun messing with while he sleeps or before you fuck him. he uses the verbage of ‘you fucking him’ because this is in no way him fucking you… even if it’s his dick. at some point that dick attached to his pelvis became yours.. 

he wraps his arms tightly around your waist as you begin to caress him. he's just so vulnerable to you, he's yours in every aspect of the word, physically and emotionally. yours, yours, yours.

"i'll be gentle, i promise. i'm just gonna stroke your cock, nice and slow.." you murmur. your touch is warm but teasing, and when you notice the tension in his body, you can't help but giggle, "i can't go too quickly just yet.. can't make you feel too much too soon."

leon chuckles softly, a part of him enjoying this teasing routine. he knows that eventually you'll give him what he wants, so he doesn’t mind waiting. whatever his girl wants, she gets.

"i know" he says panting slightly, "just take your time, princess..."

it's just so hard not to adore him, so malleable and soft, you could mold him into anything you want.

leon's eyes are starting to get hazy, his breath hitching in his throat and his body trembling. your touch is so delicate yet so powerful, it's making his entire body quiver. he’s not even on the edge but he feels like he is. both of your hands jerk him off so slow and sensual, and he knows the only reason they’re moving so smoothing is because your hands still have wet blood on them… which means you’re practically using that guy’s blood as lube and… this is so fucked up. you are so fucked up. you are awful and he can’t wait to make you his wife.

leon’s not necessarily the most submissive man alive, but he does listen well and you always get what you want, so take that as you will. he's always been so easy to mold into whatever you want him to be. he's followed along like a loyal dog, doing everything you ask of him. he's done such despicable things in your name, knowing that at the end of the day, you'll love him enough to keep him by your side.

he feels your thumb massaging his tip and he suppresses a nervous whimper, eyes fluttering closed as he takes in the feeling of your touch. you’re too much of a tease, but leon is patient.

“promise that you’ll always stay with me, lee. promise that you’ll never leave,” you whisper. he doesn’t know why you expect such a deep answer from him when his brain is becoming more and more mushy by the second.

“i promise," he whispers back, still panting slightly from pleasure. “i'm never going to leave you. i'll stay by your side for as long as we're alive. i'll never stop protecting you, loving you"

“i will sink my claws into you and never let you leave,” you growl.

he leans his head back against the chair again, a smile creeping on his lips as he lets out a shuddering breath. "i'm all yours, princess, and i have no desire to be anyone else's."

just as he starts to get close to the edge, riding the fine line of pleasure, you pull your hands away from him. you feel bad for denying him, but you're only doing it so you both can finish together. leon lets out a soft shiver as you tug your hands away, your teasing just making him more and more desperate.

he lets out a tense, groaning sigh as you pull your hands away, a small whimper escaping his lips as you did so. he's so close, but you're not quite ready to let him cum yet.

leon tries his best not to show his disappointment, the build up has been intense and it's frustrating to feel himself denied, but he knows you love it. you love making him desperate, making him beg.

he concedes: this is what you like, so it’s what he likes. 

but his disappointment is quickly brushed away as you get up off of him to take off your beautiful bloody dress, and your undergarments too. for all of the blood on your face, neck, chest, and arms, the rest of you is mostly untouched, and he finds the difference rather amusing. your stomach and thighs look so soft and innocent.

he gazes at you lustfully as you remove your clothes, his breath catching in his throat as he stares at your naked body. he can’t think, can’t breathe, his eyes going everywhere they’re not supposed to. he can only try so hard to be a gentleman. 

"you.. are going to make me your wife," you say, voice carrying an air of certainty. you are not suggesting. you are telling him what's going to happen, and he will obviously obey, “you’ll buy me a pretty ring. nothing expensive, don’t waste your money on something stupid like a diamond. and you’ll take me on a beautiful honeymoon, and we’ll spend every moment of those days together just fucking like rabbits. understood?”

marriage was never something he considered until you called yourself his ‘pretty little wife’ to be honest, but with the way you're demanding it now... it's something he'd easily give in to, "okay" he finally manages to whisper back, "anything for my beautiful wife."

you smile gently, settling back onto his lap, pussy aching for the cock in front of you, so desperate to fill you up, “you ready, baby?” you ask.

leon nods, his eyes fluttering briefly at your words, “yeah, i'm ready," he mumbles, his breath already short and his heart beating so hard he's surprised that you can't hear it.

you slide him inside, giving yourself a moment to adjust. leon can't help but find the slight discomfort in your face cute.

you moan gently, resting your hands on his shoulders, "o-oh, ah..."

he can hear every soft sound and breath that escapes your lips as you begin to move, and he can't help but let out a soft groan as well. his hands grip tightly around you, tightening every time you moan or gasp.

leon holds onto you for dear life, he knows he's already so close to finishing, he could really blow any second, but the longer this goes, the longer this moment lasts, the more intense it gets. you’re going to kill him one of these days. 

"l-lee.." you gasp, hips rocking back and forth, almost circular motions.

"oh god.. baby..." he lets out a tense moan as you ride him, movements gentle but somehow still so overwhelming.  his fingertips dig into your shoulders as he tries to keep himself restrained, but he's at the very edge of his control.

every movement sends a jolt through his body, his muscles flexing and releasing with everything he's got to keep himself from finishing before you.

“leon…” you groan again, and he never really realizes the effect he has on you until your body is trembling as you ride his cock. your voice isn’t quite begging, but he almost hears it like that. it sounds like a love confession wrapped up in his name. he doesn’t see it until all of your defenses are down, but you love him so helplessly that it must be scary. 

god, he wants to hold you in his arms forever and never let you go. protect his serial killer for the rest of her days.

he lets out another tense, breathy moan as you start to move even faster, you're pushing him to the limit. every sensation that he feels is so intense, he can hardly handle it, it takes every ounce of self-discipline in his body to keep himself from finishing early, but that’s what you get for edging him right before. you put him at a huge disadvantage.

“wait for me..” you whisper, “wanna cum with you..”

he nods his head, his eyes squeezed shut as a trembling breath escapes from his lips. he's trying his hardest to wait for you to finish, the urges and sensations within him are overwhelming and he feels as though he might explode at any moment.

and he does unfortunately, just a moment early, but it kick-starts your orgasm so for the most part, you’re both gasping and moaning and breathing fast and shaky and helpless together, hands grasping at any skin they can reach as you’re pulled ever closer to him. he sticks his head into the crook of your neck as your pretty pussy squeezes around him. he feels breathless and helpless, holding you like he’d die without you. he feels your heavy breath and your hands tightly gripping him, you must be completely gone, orgasm hitting you in waves that squeeze every drop of cum out of him.

you’re his, he realizes. completely, utterly his. you need him. you can’t go on without leon and there is nothing more pleasing than being your lifeline. your face makes that cute little pout, dried bloody fingers making his shoulders red, but this time it might just be his blood. your nails are digging into him, but he can’t blame you. you’re too lost in pleasure to realize what you’re doing.

once you both start to slow and calm down, breathing returning to a more normal pace, you lean down to rest your head on his chest. 

after a moment, you ask him, “are you really gonna marry me?”

“mhm,” he hums, fingers brushing against your head, licking his thumb to try and rub off the dried blood on your forehead, “i'll get you a ring and get down on one knee and everything.”

“what will our wedding be like?”

“whatever you want, princess,” he closes his eyes, “i don't have a single care in the world about what flowers you pick or if you want to invite people or if you just want it to be us two and an officiant in the empty wedding chapel. i just want to call you my wife. my sweet, pretty wife. my girl. my only love.”

you giggle, nuzzling closer into his chest, “detective kennedy. my husband,” you grin cutely, “my leon. mine.”

burgundy drips from his fingertips as he brushes them against your cheek, “yours.”

[dilfismz]

NSFW Alphabet

Art the Clown x FEM! reader

Warnings: Buckle up…this is nasty. Art himself is a warning, ass play, canon typical violence, knife play, blood, unprotected sex, oral sex, mentions of death (NOT reader!!), fellatio performed on a gun, choking, hints towards free use, vaginal fingering, tell me if I forgot anything please.

____________________________________________

Aftercare, what they’re like after sex

It honestly depends on how developed your relationship with Art is. The first few times you slept together it was more of a mess around and leave situation. However, you truly weren’t upset about this as you’re very much aware of what he could have done to you afterward.

Once the two of you have gotten into some sort of twisted routine there’s a bit more of an “aftercare” situation. He’ll go straight to his warped equivalent of work most of the time. He likes to have you sit and watch as he works on one of his new weapons of mutilation. You’re like a pretty little token of motivation that he can peer over at whenever he pleases. Along with that, part of you thinks he likes dangling the fact that if he truly wanted to partake in your gory demise he is very capable.

Body Part, their favorite body part of theirs and yours

Art never cared much to focus on something as human and vain as his own appearance. However, since he knows you’re quite fond of his hands he’d probably choose them as his favorite as well. Especially since he enjoys the raw strength he possesses, which often times revolves around mutilating with his hands.

As for you, he loves your pretty little neck. Art loves marking you as his own…whether that’s by leaving hickeys along your nape, kissing up and down your neck so that black face paint litters your form, or wrapping his hands around you and squeezing just hard enough to leave dark purple bruises. Sometimes he does squeeze a bit too hard/long causing you to pass out. But you’ve learned to enjoy it. Something about being completely helpless at the Miles County Clowns disposal lights a fire in your lower belly….probably because you know deep down he’d never truly hurt you. At least you’re 80% sure…

Cum, anything to do with cum basically

He couldn’t care less about leaving a mess behind. He likes to cum on your face, neck, or chest and let it dry, as to mark you as his own. His loads are pretty large as well so good luck with that.

Dirty Secret, a dirty secret of theirs

Nothing really comes as a surprise with him. He wears his kinks on his sleeve, not concerned about judgement…he has no dirty secrets. He’ll act on his urges and he knows you’ll let him.

Experience, how experienced are they

He genuinely had no experience before you. Sure, Art had experience lust before…blood lust, a carnal need to maim and torture. However, he’d never imagined being physical with anyone or even anything…including his fist. That was until you came along…

Favorite position this goes without saying

This sassy diva loves to be pleased. Sure, he’ll fuck you and of course he loves it…but if he can feel the same amount of pleasure without doing any work of his own…

Ya his favorite position is cowgirl. He often will slide a box cutter or blade across your chest and lick up the crimson droplets while you’re bouncing up and down. He’ll also occasionally slip a finger in your ass while you’re riding him.

Goofy, is he serious or goofy during sex

Serious. Sure he’s a bit silly (okay a LOT a bit silly) sometimes but not during sex.

Hair, how well groomed are they?

Look at this man’s teeth and tell me that you think he’s well groomed down there. He’s not. At all.

Intimacy how are they during the moment, romantic?

Umm romance is definitely looks different to him than it does to you but…you appreciate his efforts. If he thinks tying down the guy that harassed you on the way to work and forcing him to watch is romantic than more power to him. You appreciate it to your own surprise. It’s funny how being with Art has changed your moral compass.

Jack off, masturbation HCs

He doesn’t need to. He has you and he knows you’ll let him take you whenever.

Kink, his kinks

Art is so fucking freaky. His kinks include but definitely are not limited to breath play, knife play, choking, watersports (🙈), ass play, and period sex.

Location, favorite place to do the do

Anywhere. And I mean anywhere.

Motivation, what turns him on

Seeing you helpless in any way really gets him going. Art loves dangling the power imbalance in front of you as much as he can. It truly excites him how much faith you have him, that he’ll leave you relatively unharmed.

No, something they wouldn’t do

Not much. The only thing that he doesn’t enjoy sexually is giving you control. Submission is not Art’s forte.

Oral, preferences in giving or receiving etc

Definitely receiving, he sometimes even places the barrel of an (unloaded!) gun in your mouth. He likes watching you struggle and squirm due to the fact that the very thing he’s using for your pleasure has also been used to detriment others. Art will often times have you jerk him off and shove the barrel deeper into you as he gets bored with your pace.

Pace, are they fast and rough or slow and sensual

Art is many things but a romantic is definitely not one of them. The only time you two have slowed the pace down a bit is when he came to you injured. He’d waltzed into your house, large gashes across his stomach and arms, oozing crimson blood. You’d cleaned him up decently, but also knew you couldn’t do much since he does have a regenerative healing factor. You’d offered to ride him afterword, bouncing up and down on his cock slowly as you stroked his face. He appreciated the extra doting.

Quickie, their opinions on quickies

Art loves to take risks so of course he’s a fan of quickies.

Risks,do they take risks?

Hell fucking ya. You’ve lost count of the amount of times Art has bent you over a dumpster and had his way with you. Not your proudest moments…

Stamina, how many rounds

With Art’s healing factor he could, hypothetically go forever. It honestly depends on the situation and how long it’s been since you last had sex.

Toys, do they own or use toys?

Art doesn’t need toys, he pleases you with whatever he wants…within reason. He loves to take you from behind and trace a blade over the globes of your ass. Sometimes if the handle is metal he’ll even insert it into you and watch as you cringe in discomfort.

Unfair, how much do they like to tease

Art wouldn’t necessarily categorize playing with you as teasing, per say. He just likes to push you to your limits and observe what you can handle and where the line is drawn between sexual pleasure and blatant discomfort.

Volume, how loud they are/what sounds they make

Well our boy is mute so not much is left to interpret there. He does, however enjoy all the sounds you make and he even sometimes makes fun of you for them. He’ll contort his face into mock pleasure and bat his eyelids after an especially loud moan.

Wild card, a random head-canon

Unfortunately Art often mistakes acts of violence as acts of service. He’ll bring you the severed fingers of a specifically nasty person in your life, showing you that you won’t have to deal with them anymore.

X-ray, what’s going on under that costume?

Art is an impressive length, standing erect at about 9 inches. He’s of average thickness besides around the head of his cock, which is a bit thicker than usual. He also curves upwards.

Yearning, how high is their sex drive

Art can turn on and off like a light switch, he’s very flexible in that way.

Zzz, how quickly they fall asleep after

He doesn’t 😃 but he’s happy to lay under you.

[critical-birb]

Even MORE Age of Calamity things I find funny:

-The Goron/Rito/Gerudo/Zora and Hylian armies all being identical clones for graphical reasons.

-Master Koga having a stress bar that fills up when he gets hit, and if it reaches full he just lays on the ground and kicks and cries like a toddler. The only two ways to prevent this from happening are eating a banana or SHOOTING A DEADLY LAZER FROM YOUR FACE.

-When Koga uses the stasis rune on the sheika slate, he accidently freezes himself instead of the enemy and the Yiga clan beat the shit out of him so he'll go flying into the enemy at high speeds when he's unfrozen.

-The SHEER amount of times Revali says the words "Finally, it is time to show everyone our true power" in cutscenes. Like. My guy. Its been like seven times now. Still waiting.

-The fucking mission where you're in the middle of a war and have to defete the malice hinnox, guardian, talus, as well as the ice/fire/electric moblins - only for Zelda's cutscene being like "...No!!!!! The BLOOD MOON!!!!! THEY'RE BACK!" and for you to immediatly have to fight them all over again akskdjfjfjf. As hilarious as it is frustrating.

-all the characters complimenting one another when they win. Very wholesome. Also them asking for help when they're in trouble. Except Revali who is frequently like "I'm a busy bird - but I supose I can help you if I must" and "I didn't need your help but I supose it's fine you were here."

-Yunobos weapon being a rock roast. Riju's weapon being a hair tie?? What even are the weapons in this game seriously.

-The batshit wild combo moves. Revali's fire tornado, Mipha's mega orb of water drowning bokoblins left right and center and Sidon's mega shark, Literally everything Urbosa does. Then the goofy ones like Koga being picked up by Yiga dudes and carried around and Riju summoning her soldiers to smack people for her.

-Goddess mode Zelda. Babe just floating around glowing like an angel while absolutely obliterating enemies with vibes alone.

-King Rhoams special move being.....changing clothes to look like a wood cutter. Apparently he liked to disguise himself as a mysterious old man even before he died. This also does absolutely nothing in terms of fighting advantages. He literally just changes clothes.

[base0h]

asl trio when there s/o doesnt say ily back please? also i luv ur writingg!

a/n - why do I feel like Sabo would just start sobbing. 😭 also I’m adding shanks bec why not 💜

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, Sabo sobbing for 15 minutes straight

You’re supposed to say it back

- I imagine that shanks wouldn’t really let you get away with it 👀

- “Bye baby! I’m just gonna go to the town to buy some things before we leave. Benn and Roux will help me if I need it.”

- Shanks tenderly hugged you to his chest and pressed a kiss on your forehead, “I love you, I miss you already.”

- “You’re still holding me.”

- You waved goodbye to him, starting to walk away while purposely not saying I love you back to him. You thought it’d be funny to see his reaction

- He grabbed your wrist gently, “Hm- you’re forgetting something?”

- “what?? I have my bag, weapon, and a jacket.. Im not forgetting anything!” You feigned innocence, and you could see his expression dropping down

- depression surrounded the emperor as he slouched over, almost pouting at you, very impatiently waiting for you to say it back to him (before he threw a temper tantrum)

- you laughed, god he was such a baby sometimes

- “I love you too shanks.”

- his face lit up again, and he pressed his lips to yours, holding the back of your neck softly with his rough hand

- “You were hurting my feelings for a second.”

- “It would’ve hurt more than when my arm got bitten off.” 💀

- The amount of times Luffy says “I love you” throughout the day is sometimes amazing

- when you get up in the morning, “I love you y/n!”

- breakfast: love you!! (Gimme your food)

- randomly walking in on him taking a shit: oh hi y/n! I love youuuuu!

- yeah you get the point 😭

- and you never fail to always tell him that you love him too

- except for today, you thought it’d be funny to see how he reacted

- it was time to go to the town with Nami and Robin, and of course, luffy wanted to go with you guys

- “Luffy- just stay on the ship this time! I’ll bring you some meat back, k?”

- “Ok- fine.. Love you y/n!”

- he always gives you little kisses on both of your cheeks before you go (pls help I’m sobbing 😭💜)

- “Bye Lu :)”

- Even robin was a bit shocked, you didn’t say it back

- hell, zoro even opened his other eye and sanji lifted his bangs up to look at you

- you started walking, and Nami was concerned, did something happen between the two of you???

- “Luffy.. Did you do something bad?” Usopp asked with a wince, whispering in his ear

- Luffy looked angry, but sad, but hungry, but confused

- “Y/NNNNN! Why didn’t you say it back?!”

- You looked back with fake confusion on your face, “I said I love you!” -Luffy

- “I know!! I Heard you! Bye!”

- man sprinted over to you and shook you by the shoulders, smothering you with hugs and kisses

- “SAY IT BACK!”

- You were getting dizzy, so you gave up, “Ok ok! It was a joke calm down- I love you Luffy.”

- he laughed, “Shishishi~ love you too! Please bring back a lot of meat!”

- lesson learned, you never did that again

- ace is the perfect definition of a golden retriever boyfriend

- he needs constant love and affection, and when he doesn’t get it, he kind of melts down in a sense (I JUST REALIZED THATS KIND OF A JOKE)

- “Y/n! Be careful please k? Love you.” He said, pecking your cheek before you nodded with a smile, waving goodbye to him

- Was he going insane? You said that you loved him back right?

- “Hey pops- did y/n say they loved me back?”

- “…”

- Marco was desperately trying to tell Whitebeard to just say that you did so ace wouldn’t go into overthinking panic mode, but the poor guy didn’t seem to understand the frantic hand motions

- “Uh. No?”

- “POPS.” -Marco

- ace started to panic, what did he do today?!

- you both woke up at 2pm, cuddled for another hour, ate food together.. He fell asleep on your lap.. he was writing a letter to Luffy.

- wait. he was writing a letter to Luffy.. AND MAYBE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TO SOMEONE ELSE?!

- he sprinted after you, tripping over every single rock in his path, pebbles and all

- he skidded in front of you, panting, “Y/n! I promise I was writing a letter to Luffy, not anyone else! I only love you ok? Please believe me- I’m sorry for not telling you!”

- you were concerned and felt bad that your little prank spiraled down into this-

- “Ace it was a little joke- I wanted to see how you reacted. I’m sorry baby- I love you so much k?”

- you ended up taking him shopping with you, and you had a 6ft tall fire golden retriever running around and grabbing things he through reminded him of you 🥺🥺

- sabo was about to head off to report to dragon, and he was giving you a hug and soft kisses before he left

- “I love you y/n, I’ll be back soon.” He said softly, moving your hair behind your ear

- “Ok, good luck sabo, i know you’ll do great!”

- he was a bit taken aback because he could’ve sworn that you didn’t… Say that you loved him back?

- he waved goodbye with the same expression written on his face the entirety of his walk to Dragon’s office

- “Sabo? You ok?” -koala

- He just started crying, and Koala had to bring tissues to try and calm him down

- he was fanning his face, his eyes puffy and his nose punk from wiping the snot away so many times

- “I don’t know- *sniffle* what I did! Y/n didn’t say “i love you” back to me- *sniffle*”

- pls he’s sobbing rn

- “Koala have you seen Sabo-?” -dragon

- dragon had never left the room so fast (he left faster than when he left Luffy)

- man forgot about the whole meeting- he’s never seen Sabo cry like this before! What the hell did you do??

- “Sabo- im sure y/n loves you! Maybe they just forgot or didn’t hear you?”

- you ended up following the sounds of muffled sobs and had to comfort your poor boyfriend for about 20 minutes before he stopped crying

- “I’m sorry Sabo- I didn’t mean to make you feel bad! It was just a joke.. I love you so much ok?”

- *sniffle* “Now everyone saw me crying- this is embarrassing.”

- he’s now just nuzzling into your chest for comfort, and you decided to never do this prank again because god this was painful

- seeing him cry like that hurt your soul 😭

a/n - tagging @figgydooo bec I saw your ask 💜💜

[fwtcanimelover]

Cal and Merrin being good adoptive parents to Kata.

This is what I kind of imagined a Merrical bio baby to look like. With the son being named after Jaro Tapal, but getting his own name as well.

I headcanon that all the bio merrical kids can teleport even as babies. The idea of a baby being able to teleport will never not be funny to me, and Greez being the one to discover it would be the icing in the cake. Also, if they did have bio kids, at least one of them would be a gremlin child.

Basically their son is offended that his bounty is the lowest in the family and thinks that he is worth far more credits then that, like it's some sort of competition on who can get the largest reward on their wanted poster.

The baby's name is Lillyana, who is named after Illyana but is given her own name, her nickname is Lilly. I tried to make the kids be a mixture of both Cal and Merrin. Lilly's hair colour is a mixture of Cal and Merrin's hair colour, with Jared's skin colour being a little bit of mixture of Cal and Merrin's skin colour.

Kata's lightsaber can extend to become a spear/pike kind of weapon so that she can incorporate a mixture of fighting styles from both Cal and Merrin, since she is being trained by both.

This is a what if Merrin had two biological brothers who ended up settling on Tanalor to help out their little sister. Since Jared is half Nightsister/Zabrak they expected him to have horns on his head like they do but are disgusted that he does not have any horns, while Jared is trying to turn his hair into horns but his hair is too floppy.

Anyway, I would've done more little funny scenarios, and have rough storyboards for them, but that would've taken an even longer amount of time. These took me a while to complete but it was worth it. Right now I'm tired. Anyway, I hope that you guys enjoy it and have a goodnight.

[theamityelf]

Okay, I'm trying to familiarize myself with Batfam stuff, because I lowkey think they'd be fun to write for. (Never seen any of the animated series or read any Batman comic with Robin in it.)

What I have so far:

Bruce Wayne. Obviously. That's a Batman. Parents killed in an alley outside a theater, he maybe trained with some assassins (and Talia al Ghul is a character who's related to that somehow I think; she might be an assassin), and he's Batman. I know who Batman is. He doesn't kill; that's his rule.

Alfred. Butler. Secretly really good at weapons? Just generally hypercompetent and would probably be killing people if not for Bruce.

There's a bunch of Robins, which I will list. It seems like a lot of them have straight black hair and blue eyes; if true, it's wild that they didn't vary that more. I hope the fandom does something else, lol.

Dick Grayson first. He's the circus one who got adopted when his parents died. He's good at flips and stuff because circus. Not sure the specifics of his parents' death, but I suppose it triggered Bruce? And so Bruce was like, "I gotta adopt this kid." And he later became Robin. And then he did Teen Titans (which I haven't seen, but one of my college roommates watched Teen Titans Go a lot) and dated Starfire. I think he's the one whose costume is sometimes blue? But I'm not sure. Personality-wise, I think maybe he's generally positive and responsible. This is the first Robin, so he's probably got standard Robin characteristics and grew up with the standard amount of superhero angst. Not too much, not too little. I feel like I'd like Dick Grayson if I knew the character well. Oh! He's also called Nightwing, right?

Jason Todd next. He's, like...a street orphan? And I think he's the one with the white in his hair. He got killed by Joker with a crowbar and then came back angry because Batman didn't kill Joker. And I feel like things remained tense with him after that in canon but fan works have them resolve things, but like I said, I have not consumed any of his canon. I'm just going on vibes. Personality-wise, I'm thinking rougher-edged than Dick. Um, Red Hood, right?

Tim Drake is next. I genuinely don't know if and when he was adopted, because I'm pretty sure everything I've consumed about him was just like, "No, he has parents. But he figured out that Bruce Wayne is Batman, so he gets to be Robin." But I also think he lives with them? I think he's more upbeat than Jason; he fully opted into all of this.

Wait, Barbara Gordon is somewhere in there, right? Probably before Tim. I don't know what she's really doing, but she's Jim Gordon's daughter and I think she becomes Batgirl. Does she get killed by Joker? Jim Gordon is like, Batman's favorite police guy. He's the one who's always lighting the bat signal.

Full disclosure, I know Stephanie Brown is someone, but I have no idea who she is or what she's doing or when she comes into play, and iirc I think I saw a Tiktok that implied she straight up lives somewhere else. I guess Barbara probably does, too. And I guess Dick probably moved out to do Teen Titans, although it would be very funny if he didn't. I'm sure a lot of fan works just have them all live together; if the Marvel fandom could put everyone in Stark Tower, the DC fandom can move everyone into Wayne Manor.

I know that Cassandra Cain is deaf, and I think she's a street orphan, too? And I feel like there was some connection between her and the kid from the Birds of Prey movie. Maybe same character; I feel like I remember reading criticism about her not being deaf in the movie. I also don't know when she comes into play, but I'm pretty sure she's one of the straightforwardly adopted ones. But I'm just guessing that because I'm not aware of any reason for her not to be.

Duke Thomas is the black one, and I think he was kind of on the Tim Drake track of figuring out the Batman stuff. I don't know how he came into play either. I think he's called Signal? Does he have an electricity thing, or am I mistaking him for a different character? There are a lot of black superheroes with electricity powers. Personality-wise, I think he's just generally cool and good-natured, but I'm not sure whether that's an actual canon thing, or if I've just consumed content that misrepresents his whole deal. Whatever the case, I'd probably love him if I knew more about him. I feel like I'll like all of these characters.

Damian Wayne, biological son of Bruce and Talia. (Though, if I'm mistaken about that, then that's really funny.) He's, like, an analyst type, which means we've got a lot of characters who are specifically characterized as analytical. (I hope knowing more about them will make it easier to vary the kind of intelligence. I want them to have different specific strengths and weaknesses. They probably do.) And I think he might have also been trained by the assassins, but I'm not sure. Personality-wise, I'm pretty sure he's distinctly creepy. Like, I think he's the creepy genius child trope, and all serious and formal. I like that trope.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 6 (Azure Lion, Peng, Yellowtusk)

(I originally made my own design of Azure and Yellowtusk but wasn't quite happy with how they turned out so I scrapped them, the designs for those two I used in these edits were made by @/erraday_ on twt, with a few minor changes, but Peng's design is my own :) )

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Snores so loud, it's insane, Yellowtusk once thought there was an earthquake

- Feels bad whenever he's steps on a ladybug, butterfly etc

- Gives everyone and everything giant bear hugs because he thinks if Yellowtusk can take it, so can everyone else (They cannot)

- Mei once gave him catnip as a joke and he went fucking feral, he's not allowed near catnip anymore

- His hair/fur is actually very soft and curly

- Thought he saw an old friend while out in public and hugged them, it was a stranger

- Wakes up Yellowtusk in the middle of the night to ask stupid questions

- The Brotherhood asked to hear his roar but he got really nervous last second and it ended up being really meek, they never let him forget it

- Coughed up a hairball once and Peng refuses to let him live it down

- Has eaten cat food before and would do it again

- Cannot do the splits and is too scared to try

- Gets really confused by modern slang, MK and Mei abuse the hell out of it because it's funny

- Whenever he's rough housing with people he accidentally hits a bit too hard

- Whenever he walks past anyone playing a game that involves a ball (football, basketball, netball, etc) he somehow always ends up getting hit in the head with it

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he wouldn't know what the fuck to do and would be really awkward cause he doesn't know how to interact with children, he'd be able to bond with Redson better when he becomes a teenager though

- No one gossips with him because he always ends up unintentionally outing someone about something

- Ate moldy food once by accident and freaked out, he was absolutely disgusted

- Hates horror movies but loves slashers

- Drinks mouthwash

- Smells like catnip (trust me guys)

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has horrible bed head, his mane gets tangled really easily and he tosses around a lot at night so his mane takes hours to brush out

- Absolutely refuses to wear shoes, they hurt his feet (paws?)

- The type of person to cry over a movie about a dog getting lost and then finding its owner at the end

- Can somehow eat an entire goddamn buffet and not gain a single pound

- His face always scrunches up when he smiles

- Lost his balance on a hill and fell down like a tumbleweed once, Peng still brings it up

- They/He (Canon, Peng uses They/Them in the show but is exclusively referred to w/ He/Him in the sets)

- Nonbinary (Canon)

- Starts squaking when he laughs too much

- If you throw a blanket over their head he'll immediately fall asleep

- "look behind you but don't make it obvious" Looks behind him in the most exaggerated, obvious way known to mankind

- Stole food from Wukong's private stash for several months when the Brotherhood was all still together, Wukong still doesn't know

- Wukong gave them cooked chicken once as a joke but he actually liked it

- Constantly argues with Wukong about Macaque not being able to hold his own, yes it got physical

- Their wings have a bunch of scars from the amount of weapons and shit they block with them. Has to consistently clean their wings in order to keep them from getting too damaged, yes this includes softening and preening his feathers

- If they weren't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid they would tape him to the wall like that one meme and call it a day

- Bit off a person's finger once just to see if they could

- Doesn't shop, just steals

- "I hate you so fucking much" as he's handing the person a gift

-  Tried to draw on Wukong's face once but got wacked with his tail

- Absolutely HATES beetroot, will actually gag if he smells it

- Kicks over kids sand castles at the beach

- Can't stand small buzzing sounds

- "I'm not that competitive" is that competitive

- Claims you can trust them with anything but will snitch the second they know it will benefit them

- Probably threatened to eat someone's baby once

- Goes to playgrounds to trip kids

- Smells like Lavender, it just feels right

- Love language is words of affirmation and acts of service

- Has tried sleeping upside down like a bat multiple times

- Hardcore wine aunt vibes

- Had a bunch of ducklings accidently imprinted to him and they followed Peng for hours

- You'd have to pin this bird down to get them to eat collyflower

- Jokingly pushed Azure off a cliff once then remembered they're the only member of the Camel Ridge Trio that can fly

- They have full on concerts at like 3 am, has woken up Azure on multiple occasions

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Is the calmest one in the Brotherhood

- He uses Peng's head as an armrest sometimes

- He and DBK were actually quite close, he knew and accepted that DBK was in love with a celestial but was very surprised to see they ended up having a child

- Very poor eyesight but doesn't like wearing his glasses because Peng made a joke about them once saying he looked like a grandma

- Uses ":3" and ":D"

- Loves soap opera's

- Hates seafood

- Peng once tricked him into eating fish nuggets once and he still hasn't fully forgiven them

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he would definitely be the most responsible one, and probably Redson's favourite uncle

- Eats a snack then forgets he ate it and will bet frustrated when he can't find it

- The therapist of the Camel Ridge Trio, and probably of the whole Brotherhood in the past as well

- Was the only one who felt bad about imprisoning the Demon Bull Family since he and DBK were very close

- He also reprimanded Peng for when they pinned and scratched Redson with their claws after they left the Demon Bull Palace (he's the protective uncle, trust me guys)

- Hates getting hiccups, he despises the feeling and it gives him heartburn

- Wakes up at ungodly hours just to raid the fridge

- Heard a story about a bug crawling in someone's ear while they slept and has worn earplugs to bed ever since

- Loves apples

- Smells like Lilies

- Love language is gift giving

- Is really big on safety, would be the type of person to make sure everyone is wearing their seat belts before the car is even turned on

- Actually really good at cooking

- Makes the best chocolate chip pancakes ever

- Is the kind of person who assumes everyone tells eachother everything and accidently exposes someone because he thought everyone else knew about it already

- Always hears things wrong but doesn't wanna ask anyone to repeat themselves

- Has the most elegant ass handwriting you will ever see, somehow

- The peacemaker of the Brotherhood,  they all would've disbanded way sooner if it wasn't for him

- Uses his trunk as a snorkle when swimming or sleeping underwater (elephants actually do this irl, I just thought it was cute)

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: SEMI FINALS

Match 2

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Aki Izayoi

An abuse victim who isn't the perfect passive figure but gets to work through her complicated feelings about power, agency, and family. Even with Yusei's help, she is the star of the show when she learns to control her powers and reconciles with her father, it is so fun that a ygo heroine gets to take such an antagonistic role bu not be shamed for her anger

please vote for my main girl, aki izayoi. aki was led to believe she was a monster from a young age by her father, who treated her powers like it made her unworthy of love. as a result, divine was able to swoop in and take advantage of aki's low self esteem. for years, aki believed herself unworthy of love and was molded into a living weapon at the hands of authority figures in her life. she was taken advantage of, and thus when she finally comes face to face with yusei, she refuses to believe he could provide her with unconditional friendship. who would want to be around a monster, after all?

aki also nearly beats yusei TWICE in a duel, bringing it down to a single turn difference. she comes toe to toe with him, and it truly is the result of who dueled better. she remains a fierce duelist, btw. the second season, aki gets her duel runner license, and immediately nearly beats the ass of a tournament winning turbo duelist - to the point where once again, a single card is the deciding factor. that's right: she nearly won. if not for a single trap card, aki izayoi would've won.

a fierce duelist who was shaped into a loving, caring woman despite years of being beaten down by the world: aki izayoi. vote for her now on your phones.