#the grieving process is wild lol

[whatsevengoingonanymore]

I lost a “friend” this year. We never met in person but we lived in the same area, knew the same people, and were the same age. He followed my personal account on instagram about two-ish years ago and was just lurking. He liked and reacted to a lot of my stories. At one point he switched the theme of our chat and that’s when I started talking to him. It was on and off, hot and cold. Maybe more lukewarm than anything. I tried to go hang out with him in person. I barely knew what he looked like. Most of his public photos had his face hidden by his phone.

After it went nowhere and I gave up trying to hang out in person he would send me some local and travel hot spots that looked cool. We still interacted with each other online. He followed my tattoo journey and was one of my biggest supporters online when I was just starting out. Before the summer convention he messaged me telling me he was excited for me because I would be tattooing at this year’s convention. My first convention within my first year of tattooing. He said he looked up to me.

A couple months later I noticed he wasn’t as active anymore online. That’s normal though. We’re adults, we get busy, we’re supposed to outgrow being glued to our phones(working on that myself lol) but one day I was curious about him. So I looked him up on Facebook.

I already knew his Facebook because during a desperate era of my dating life I decided to try Facebook dating. Before I deleted it after a few days I matched with him on there. I just called him by his instagram username and that made him laugh. At least I hope it did. “Lmao” can be a hollow response sometimes.

When I checked his profile there was one new update. It was his own post but written by his mother and at little less than a day old. She was writing to inform everyone that he had passed away. I didn’t know how to feel.

Should I feel sad? I barely knew him. I didn’t know what he was to me at that point. Part of me wished I tried harder to hang out with him in person. Not because of some savior complex but because I wish I had taken the chance. I liked him. On a superficial level albeit. He was attractive. He seemed cool. I wish I got to know him better I wish I wasn’t so scared to be more direct. Reading back at messages I did try but I never really got anything from his end.

In the end, I learned more about him after his death through loved ones who actually knew him. And I feel awful about that. I feel selfish and self centered. I feel selfish and self centered for even feeling that way. Someone lost a son, a brother, a friend. Can I even say I lost a friend?

I’m sorry we never had the opportunity to become friends. Maybe we were friends. I hope we were friends on some level.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Im pretty sure it's mentioned somewhere that the magic shop was originally owned by Mc's Aunt- I assume since she doesn't appear in the game & some other timeline nonsense she must have died before mc did.

What about some hcs (mini or small, whatever you like) about M6 and Mc's relationship with their aunt? Ex: Asra and Muriel must have known her, Julian might have ect and how they'd help Mc learning that they had an aunt who passed away.

(feel free to ignore this if it turns out I'm stupid and misremembering there being an aunt lol )

The Arcana Mini-HCs: M6 helping MC mourn their Aunt

Julian: doesn't know what it's like to lose someone you don't remember, but does know what it's like to lose a family member. will sit and hold your hands any time you need to talk about it

Asra: remembers your aunt and happily tells you everything they know about her once it's safe to do so. will go through the shop and point out everything that reminds him of her so you remember too

Nadia: can't really relate to what you're experiencing beyond memory loss, but she'll gladly make her family your family too. and maybe get a list of your aunt's friends and request written memories for you

Muriel: remembers your aunt vaguely, mostly from your and Asra's tellings. will do his best to help you reconnect with your lost family like he is his own - and maybe ask Khamgalai's ghost for a boost

Portia: knows what it feels like to lose family you don't remember having. regularly jokes that you're welcome to take Aunt Tasya off her hands, but in all seriousness, she would have loved to meet her too

Lucio: doesn't really know how to help you with the grieving process, though he'd like to have his dad and clan back too. tends to deal with it by making up wild guesses at what kind of person she was

[shrinkthisviolet]

Iris and Wally for the character ask thingy? :)

Iris West-Allen

favorite thing about them

She’s so tenacious, I love her for it! And her strongest superpowers are her belief and investigative skills—I find that inspiring

least favorite thing about them

Her “three list” in s1

favorite line

“It’s okay. A girl’s gotta be her own hero every now and again” and “All the information I have on Black Hole will be immediately released…so tell your friend to stand down.” That’s our girl, standing on business!!

brOTP

Iris & Cisco, my sunshine twin babies 💞

OTP

Westallen, Westhallen, Barriscowest!

nOTP

Iris/Eobard

random headcanon

She and Caitlin became friends post-s1 via bonding over losing their fiancés. Caitlin found the grieving process much easier this time around—not because the loss hurt any less, but because she had someone who Got It, who knew exactly how she felt and didn’t try to placate or soothe her. Iris, for her part, was ALSO glad to have someone who let her feel her feelings without trying to placate or soothe her—it felt good. They smashed more than a few things together to let out some of the pent-up grief…and by the time Iris was ready to move on with Barry, by the time she and Caitlin had that talk, it came from a woman who knew exactly how Iris felt, exactly what her hesitations were, and encouraged her to go for it anyway

unpopular opinion

Apparently even liking her is an unpopular opinion lol but here’s one: song i associate with them

song i associate with them

Seeing Green by Nicky Minaj!

favorite picture of them

Look at her!! Adorable 🥰 and this is one of my favorite hairstyles of hers

Wally West

favorite thing about them

How considerate he is! It’s not a trait the show often showcases, but he worries about Iris enough to go to the hospital and sit by her bedside even after they fought, he’s racing specifically to raise money for his mom’s medical bills, he wants to be a hero to help people (not just because he thinks it’ll be cool to have powers—when he thinks there’s a chance of him not getting powers, he specifically says “So you think, just let it go? Give up on wanting to help people?”), etc. He’s got a bigger heart than people give him credit for!

least favorite thing about them

I love him, I do, and I don’t fault him for being mad that Barry proposed to Iris out of fear (nor do I blame him more than Barry, as some morons do), but…he should’ve confronted Barry privately about that. Maybe with Iris, but not with everyone else

favorite line

“I'm fast, really fast. I might even be the fastest man alive. And when I'm running, there's no greater feeling in the world. I can move through the city like a guardian angel, protecting people who need me.” Speaks to that need for speed that he’s been chasing since s2…and calls back to when his biggest disappointment of not having powers was feeling like he couldn’t help people!

brOTP

Wally & Barry and Wally & Iris ofc

OTP

Wallylinda/Wallinda!! They’re canon in my heart idc

nOTP

Hmm well I don’t like Wally/Jesse, but I like them platonically, so…does that count 😅

random headcanon

Wally is absolutely the fun uncle who indulges Nora and Bart’s every whim, no matter what Barry and Iris have to say about it. Nothing too unsafe ofc, moreso things like sneaking them sweets late at night, or letting them stay up past bedtime…or taking them for a little time travel spin in a fully controlled environment, Barry, I’d never let anything happen to my niblings!

unpopular opinion

People being more mad at him for revealing that Barry proposed to Iris out of fear than they are mad at Barry for proposing that way in the first place is absolutely wild. Obviously Wally should’ve confronted Barry privately, not in front of anyone, but don’t act like he was more in the wrong than Barry

song i associate with them

Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic!

favorite picture of them

He's so confident and happy here 🥰

character ask game!

[kikker-oma]

Idk if I already posted this one but ima give my friend angst cuz - yes

And yes I kinda trash talked Time in this one but I had to put someone to cause a breaking point lol

Rain poured as Time knelt down to the dead body, “We will burry him here.” Time sighed,  “It’s painful, but we have to keep moving. That’s what he would have wanted.” He stroked a stray lock of hair away from Legend’s pale, lifeless face.

Four don’t feel upset, no, he could never feel upset. If there was one thing he felt, it would be anger. It was his fault. He told the group to head south. He forged the shield Legend used. If he just made it stronger, if he could do more than shoot stupid arrows at that Hinox then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be dead.

But that wasn’t the only thing that angered Four. No, surprisingly, it was Time who angered him the most. His brother is dead, and all the old man says is to move forward.

“Are you serious?” Four clenched his fist. It would feel amazing to punch that old man in the face, but he has to keep strong. For his brother. 

“The monsters are multiplying by day, we can’t waste any more time.” Time twisted his ring, he does that when he’s nervous. He’s nervous because he knows Four. Is. Right.

“Our brother,” The smith dropped down to his knees, clasping the cold, pale, hand, “Our brother, the guy who faced so much for us, is gone. And all you do is say we bury him and move on?!” Warm tears trickled down his cheeks, dampening the bloody fabric beneath him, “He didn’t deserve to die.”

“Look smithy, we’re all upset, but we have to keep-“ Twilight’s hand was immediately swatted away.

“No! Are you guys idiots?!” Four held the lifeless body in his arms. Whether it was adrenaline rush or natural strength, his point still stands, “You guys can go, but he is family. You don’t. Abandon. Family!” He shrieked, “It’s all my fault. I basically killed him. If I just worked harder, I could have saved him.” He squeezed Legend’s hands. The vast amount of rings and bracelets he had on was insane. Why didn’t the defense rings do their job? Why?

Hyrule tried to take a step closer, only to be met with the tip of a sword, “Don’t you dare take him away from me!” His hands shook as he held the sword, “I refuse to fight these stupid monsters unless we are back to nine, like it’s supposed to be, not eight!” He choked, “I don’t care where you decide to go, or when. Just let me hold my brother a bit longer.”

“He’s right guys,” Wild looked over, tears in his eyes, “I never got to say all the things I wanted to say to the veteran. Let’s at least take a while to process this.” 

Four slowly got a cloth from his pocket and wiped the grime off of Legend’s peaceful face, “Your efforts were not in vain, brother.” He looked around, realizing the rest already went to fend off the rest of the monsters, “I promise, I’ll never forget you.” 

As night falls, the air gets colder, and now Four is drowning in sleet.

HOW DARE YOU😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔

Noooooooooooooooo Legendd NNOOOOOOOOOO

Blare you're EVIL🥲

Poor Time and Twi, also grieving but trying to get the group moving. The other boys are not having it though, especially Four! Oh poor babies

What happened to Legend?!?!?! What killed our precious bunny boy💔💔

[beardedmrbean]

"office himbos bringing me macaroni and cheese" reminds me of the time I was absolutely hammered out of my mind on the floor of my kitchen (I was going through my own shit at the time, Christmastime meant 14hr + shifts, and my roommate was (which I didn't know at the time but I did suspect) trying to have me killed, but I kept bumbling through his murder attempts like some kind of drunk Mr. Bean) and a friend of mine called from 2000mi away to tell me that her dearly beloved dog that she'd had since she was 6 had just died. And here I am, trying to process that in the grand scheme of the universe and trying to remember what you're supposed to say to people when they're grieving, and in my desperate, grasping-at-straws-for-literally-anything-to-say state, I said "I'm really sorry, I don't remember how I'm supposed to proceed from here. Did you know a single ravioli is actually called a raviolo?" and she said "...you know, actually. That does make me feel better. I don't know why, but it does."

Six years later she still tells people about that lol

If this is a legit story and not the plot of some piece of media that's insane, and wild, and crazy, maybe a bit nuts too.

Also good you managed to help with the oddness

[alkalinefrog]

Hi hi! So uhhh I’m having a little trouble with Hiccup’s belt placements for his tloa outfit (I’m making refs for myself) and I was hoping that maybe you could give me some pointers? You can just ignore this if you want lololol-

Tbh I didn’t really know what I was doing for the belt placements either laskdfjklasdfjlkasdjf you don’t need to stick to the comic designs! I drew it while I was still in the early stages of planning the story, so there wasn’t much research behind them.

I can make a guide later, I’ve been meaning to touch up their costumes now that I have a better idea of what’s going to happen in the story. I’ll give you my general thought process for both of them based on the current chapters:

Jack (who probably gets the most costume changes in the story):

Hawthorne outfit: basically his canon human design from rotg plus shoes lol

Bard uniform: blue colour palette, large brimmed hat with a big blue feather. The prototype’s in the comic, but there aren’t many guidelines around it. His hands aren’t wrapped in bandages as of now ever since his initial calluses from Excalibur healed

Work clothes: a simple blue tunic, tied off at the waist with a belt or sash up to you, similar worn brown pants and boots from his Hawthorne outfit

MORE TBD

Hiccup:

Princely Attire (TM): fancy royal tunic and silk sash, circlet crown with a small ruby at the center that fits over his forehead. fancy shmancy cape held up by fancy shmancy clasps.

Civilian disguise: Bunny’s oversized white shirt that hangs loose off him, tied off with one of Bunny’s green sashes, long brown cloak. Pants and shoes are up to you, but my thought is that they’re a bit nicer in quality than what civilians wear

Adventuring gear: I’m not satisfied with the comic prototype, but it’s supposed to be fine-quality leather armour and a cape. Metal arm-bracers and grieves. Meant for a swordsman, ya know? Otherwise the interpretation’s up to you! When he eventually gets his prosthetic in the story it’s not far off from his canon one in the films.

MORE TBD

Sorry that’s not much help visually for now! Go wild though, don’t feel like you’re limited by what I’ve drawn!

[taylorhawkins]

I haven't been active on anything lately so I don't know, what kind of hate are the foos getting? also just why? how can anyone give them hate after what they're going through

Hi love ❤️ Ugh, so I haven’t seen it on tumblr, mainly just Instagram & Facebook & YouTube, but there’s been a lot of hate comments towards Josh, and to the band for continuing on without Taylor, calling them greedy and money hungry and saying they don’t care about him. Like??? It’s fucking ridiculous. I did think some of the new music is a little forced sounding - not that they’re trying to rush it or anything but just that they’re struggling to continue without him, which I think is a natural part of the healing process and I’ve seen it in other bands I love that lost a member. It’s not like they just went oh here’s the new guy we’re resuming as normal, they’re honoring him at every show and they made a record dedicated to him, I haven’t seen Dave get through one FF performance without tears since then, and Josh is an amazing guy AND he has the hawk logo all over his drums. And he was friends with Taylor. 🙄

It kinda reminds me of how many people just brushed over the rest of the band when Taylor died and singled out Dave as the only one that could be grieving. Like yes, maybe he took it the hardest since they were the closest, but I seldom heard how Pat must feel despite the fact that he’s lost 3 bandmates now, or how Nate must feel despite the fact that he knew Taylor and loved Taylor for 25 years too, or how Chris and Rami felt despite the fact they were best friends with Taylor too and were just as impacted by him. Like they are very open about how they’re all best friends, and the fact that Josh has stepped in to act as the glue to prevent them from drifting apart and to stick together during such a painful time makes me incredibly happy… I have no idea why other people see it as a bad thing. And the whole “greed” thing is probably coming from Karens who can’t wrap their head around the fact that most musicians make music because they love it, not because of the money, and that’s why they’re containing on as a band lmfao

I hate to give it attention but it was a lot of comments and it honestly shocked me, I was thinking the same thing. How can anybody be that fucking cruel and senseless after all they’ve been through is beyond me. I guess maybe it’s coming from a perspective of not wanting the band to be different or to see someone else behind the kit, but they have to move on and heal, and it’s selfish for people to not want them to do that. But then again there’s a lot of loonies out there that believe in wild conspiracies or that Dave worked him to death or forced him to do things against his will so who fucking knows 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you for the ask 💓💓 sorry I ranted a little there LOL

[findmeinthefallair]

Lol Hunter is not only very comparable to each main or supporting character in Owl House, but also damn comparable to other blorbos.

Anyway I visited my demon son Akira in some episodes of 2018's Devilman Crybaby..

(this anime is dark, sad, violent at times, thrilling and bleak...also do not watch it unless you're alone because it can get pretty NSFW too)

Wild hair? Dark T-shirts? Sad bois:

And I was reminded that looking at other stories and similar cases can strengthen my headcanons and metas. Referring to The Hunger Games, since its protagonist and Hunter have the same mental health condition, could convince me that Hunter will spiral into extensive depression after Belos's death before he shows signs of recovery.

But..I hadn't given serious thought to rage being one of Hunter's several grief responses after Watching and Dreaming's final battle..not till now. 🤔🤔🤔

Because Akira is a darn similar personality to Hunter: very gentle, empathetic (in fact, Akira is an empath, literally experiencing other people's emotional pain, feeling it for them when they don't really want to..hence the show's title). And Akira has also never wanted to harm another person. You'd initially expect gentle souls like this to like, never get angry.

After Akira's mother passes away in traumatic circumstances, his behaviour is such that he puts up a front to appear fine but he isn't holding it together well..

It's not visually shown but from the first person perspective of Miki (his best friend) looking at her ceiling, she and the audience can hear him screaming in rage and breaking objects in his bedroom right above hers. Right after their chat on the balcony (shown in the previous screenshot). It's one of his bereavement responses. But this rage only comes out when he's in his own space, not with anybody else around.

Idk..now I wouldn't put it past a poor grieving Hunter in the early months of those 3-4 years, to have at least one very unexpected explosion of rage after some bad trigger comes along. He might subconsciously feel safe enough in the company of the Noceda family, that he'd create a mess in Luz's basement in a frenzy like that. It would happen so fast, seemingly out of nowhere. Of course, he'll feel so awful and guilty after expending that energy, shocked at himself and disgusted with himself. And/or it may happen if he decides to visit the castle ruins.

Or....(and this is sadder but idek)..what if it happens in the early days of him learning the palisman-carving craft? He wouldn't touch and destroy anything made from palistrom wood but some other objects might be pushed off shelves or something. Hunter is someone with a long fuse, but a lot of little frustrations building up could light that fuse. In the case of the carving workshop, him making mistakes and getting splinters on his hands in the process of learning...that might leave him frustrated enough to have a one-off temper flare. He'll feel awful but Dell is very kind and would treat him so well and help him.

I was also told by friends that Hunter would feel very off balance with no more staff to use, since he relied on staffs for so much of his life that they'd feel like an extension of his own body. With no staff, the sense of his physical center would feel different and I wonder if this might feed into frustration that is part of his general grief...to the point that this frustration does indeed build up into a brief rage explosion at some point.

Like Akira, he'd definitely not direct that at any person or living thing. But inanimate objects might be destroyed. 🤔🤔🤔

Our bodies sometimes do instinctive but frightening things out of nowhere to release emotions and attempt to restore psychological balance, and it can happen in a flash. Wails that you can't control which escape your chest, keening, or heaving with sobs, and in this case anger and rage. Anger is the most immediate natural response when our boundaries are crossed. Rage is an especially big outcry after we have been violated, fueled by fear and grief.

[into--folklore]

okay i listened to the leak dont @ me

i only listened through once because thats what i had time for tonight but ill be listening more over time lol

anyway it has some good songs it has some bad songs and cringe lyrics but eh ! overall its alright. i would say middle tier tsw*ft content. i would say it would fall in my rankings here atm:

folklore > rep > midnights > evermore > speak now > ttpd > 1989 > lover > red > fearless > debut

spoilers i guess for implied TayLore but uh its implied joe not only suicide baited her but also love bombed her, abadoned her in their home alone and then cheats on her possibly multiple times while continuing to love bomb

some folk are saying that its prob m*tty he*ly that did the suicide baiting but i dont have enough context to dissect the muses of each song. idk it feels weird to have ur title track song be about your apparant fling from last spring and not the 6 yr relationship guy

eh again i need see written lyrics to really dissect each song like. just in terms of lyrical analysis (outside of the implications of her actual life too bc i think that gives for more personal connection to the songs)

again everything with a grain of salt bc we never know whats real and whats not. but i can "Understand" that for lil billionaire tsw*ft that having ur partner suicide bait u fucks you up a lot and why she "can" consider herself tortured because of it.

i mean i would be hypocritical to say otherwise bc my current art project is navigating the same feelings. or again, at least the feelings shes projecting in this music

i think its good at like. being her obviously trying to process these emotions honestly. of course from the perspective from someone so out of touch with "normal life" but still. who are we to tell someone how to grieve a complicated toxic relationship

im seeing some sw*fties say they really cannot relate but idk i could and can find myself relating to it more over time. it feels like an album that could be more of a grower over time than an immediate banger

florida is so good and its absolutely because florence has such a big part of it and shes such a vocal powerhouse. i wish we can get a full florence cover one day 🥺

top songs from first listen are: florida, whos afraid of little old me, and i can do it with a broken heart

^ florida ofc bc of florence but the other two have this like. angry manic episode energy that feels similar to rep. like genuinely i told my partner whos afraid of little old me reminded me of florence's dream girl evil. and i.... love dream girl evil

but really wild for multiple songs in this with lyrics about t*ylor wanting to kill herself bc she feels so bad. girlie.. relatable...

[inamanicpixiedream]

2023

I've answered these questions on various platforms for over ten years now, I think? That's wild. There's better questions out there but tradition is tradition.

1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?

Put on a mother-fucking Fringe show. Bought a Lego advent calendar. Got divorced lol.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions?

I don't really make them any more, but I feel like I set out what I wanted to do.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yeah, a few of my good friends from work.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What cities/states/countries did you visit?

My partner finally moved here from Brisbane, but I did a couple of final trips there and we went back for a wedding. I did a whirlwind trip to Melbourne and while it was fun I found out I am not the kind of person who thrives on flying somewhere for less than 24 hours.

6. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?

Money. God, I hate this is the answer, but my rent got super jacked up and my partner hasn't found a job here yet and everything is find but it's tight as fuck and I hate working so goddamn hard and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

7. What date(s) from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February my show was performed. April my partner moved here. Two of the biggest days of my life honestly.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The show was huge. I wrote and performed something I had written, with my own financial backing and organisation and steam, and it's something I have always wanted to do. And I just did it. I then started making more and more moves to make this my life, like asking to go part-time at work and starting my podcast again and putting together a Patreon.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I actually can't think of anything which is kind of wild. After leaving my husband last year I really grabbed a hold of my agency in my life. It's been pretty incredible.

10. What other hardships did you face?

I had a lot to grieve and process about the separation and I am very thankful to my therapist for all the work she did there.

My current relationship is wonderful but being two adults coming together is going to have more baggage and things to work through. It's so absolutely worth it.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In July I was diagnosed with polycystic-ovary syndrome, which is yet another nail in the coffin of my ever being able to have children.

Along with that came a further investigation into my blood sugar and I was told I had pre-diabetes. This scared the shit out of me, cause I was really fucking close. I was also terrified about doing the work to try and reverse it, because I didn't want to get back into disordered eating territory. But I had incredible help from a dietician and I read really tempered, reasonable information, and I managed to make small, sustainable changes and turn that entire shit around. Within six months my levels were completely back to normal and all my other negative health markers were reversed. Honestly, this was another huge achievement.

12. What was the best thing you bought?

I just bought a new guitar that has become a huge joy in my life. I also got into beading when I went to see the Eras tour movie to make bracelets and I've kept it up and I absolutely love it as a hobby. Otherwise, I didn't really make a lot of big purchases. Contributing financially to helping my boyfriend move was pretty great to get him here.

13. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

I am often resisting the urge to come on here and write a very gushy post about my boyfriend, but god he is great. I wrote last year that I highly recommend falling in love in your thirties. My mum commented at Christmas that it's clear how happy he makes me, but it's beyond happy - he makes me calm. Even when things are hard and messy he is such a solid presence in my life, and he is so, so bloody nice to me, and I keep waiting for it to stop feeling like a crush and exciting every time I see him but it's been almost two years and that just has never gone away. He is so ridiculously supportive of me and has worked so hard on himself and I'm so proud of him.

14. Whose behaviour made you appalled?

No names, but a few people at work made me feel like I was banging my head against the wall.

Also, fuck everyone who has been supporting Israel's attack on Palestine.

15. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and household expenses is the very boring but realistic answer.

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My show. My boyfriend finally moving here. Seeing Barbie.

17. What song will always remind you of this year?

I was so terrible at listening to new music this year. The songs that were written for my show, I guess. I listened to Peach Prc and Tessa Violet a lot, but I don't know if those songs will remind me of the year. Maybe Kitchen Song.

18. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? Happier, happier, happier!

ii. Thinner or fatter? No comment!

iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer. But I have complete control of my finances and can still cover everything and then some. Have to remind myself I'll be okay.

19. What do you wish you’d done more of? Reading! This is something I have to work on.

20. What do you wish you’d done less of? Last year I said sleeping, which is very funny to me. Mindless scrolling is the answer this year for sure.

21. How did you spend Christmas? My extended family did out potluck on the Saturday before which was lovely, and my boyfriend was nervous cause he hadn't met half of them before, and he'd never been to a big Christmas before, but it was really great. My granny is pretty far gone with her Alzheimer's though which was a cloud that hung over everything

My boyfriend's mum then flew down on Christmas Eve, and we had lunch on the day with just us and our mums, cause we're both only children of single parents, and I was a bit concerned it'd be awkward, but it wasn't, it was really nice. We cooked an amazing meal together and both our mums bought the dogs presents. and we watched Fantasia and it was great.

22. Did you fall in love this year? 

I did not know it was possible to be in love the way we are. I sold myself short for years. It feels like a waste of time, but god, I cannot believe how lucky I am to have it now.

This is what I wrote last year, at the end of a much more extended answer, since 2022 was pretty big for us. But this is still absolutely true, and I can't get over it still.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think so.

24. What was your favorite show? God, I didn't watch much that was new, but we rewatched 30 Rock because my boyfriend had never seen it and that was great.

25. What was the best book you read? The Bookbinder of Jericho by Pip Williams. Little Weirds by Jenny Slate. What You Are Looking for is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year? I went to see Stop Making Sense and it got me very into The Talking Heads. Loved finding corook's music as well.

27. What was your favorite film? 

Films that came out this year - Barbie, Oppenheimer, Across the Spiderverse,

 Films I watched for the first time - Amadeus, Stop Making Sense, Best In Show, The Great Escape, Glass Onion.

I also went to a cinema event where we marathoned all five Twilight movies in a row, and that ruled.

28. What was your favorite meal?

We've been doing a roast chicken every Sunday together which has been great.

It's what we did on Christmas too and I made a kickass pavlova. Think that's definitely been the best meal of the year.

29. What did you want and get?

For my partner to move here.

30. What did you want and not get?

To win the fucking lottery.

31. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

I turned 35. I had a work event that night so did nothing special. That was fine.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Said it before, but having more financial stability and freedom sure would be nice.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of the year?

Comfortable. Embracing my body. Showing my tattoos. As sustainable as possible.

Wrote this last year. Stand by it.

34. What kept you sane?

My dogs. My friends. My boyfriend. Writing. Podcasts. Taylor Swift's music. Going to the movies.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?

Caroline Klidonas is an actor I follow on TikTok whose work I just adore. I also love Pip Williams' writing so much, especially after seeing the play of A Dictionary of Lost Words.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The genocide in Gaza.

37. Who did you miss? Sometimes I miss the family I lost in the divorce.

But mostly not.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I honestly don't feel like I've met many new people? Which is weird.

39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?

Go after what you want.

40. What is a quote or song lyric that sums up your year?

On the way home I wrote a poem You say, "What a mind" This happens all the time

'Cause they said the end is coming Everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from me was nothing

- Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift

We live in hope--that life will get better, and more importantly that it will go on, that love will survive even though we will not. As Emily Dickinson put it, hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. And we are here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. Sing it with me, wherever you are. Think of those across the broad and roaring seas, and sing with me. You won’t be more offtune than I am. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here. We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here.

- The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green

[vsnotresponding]

40 and 13 for the ask game :)

hi lyn <3

questions are from this weird questions for writers ask game

adding a cut because question 40 got long lol

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

i have a vivid memory of writing púlsar, where ira and karma start to get close. my brain just couldn't process the hand holding because of the aroaceness i guess. i mean i got through it, but it was very dramatic a scene like this came up

as for easy, i don't really know? there are recurrent themes in my writing but i don't think they are there because they are easy to write. i just write what has to be written without thinking if it's difficult to write about or not.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

for you, a collection of verses that remind me of UP (im not a poetry girlie this is all i have)

The ghosts swarm. They speak as one person. Each loves you. Each has left something undone.

unbidden - rae armantrout

Cattle die, kindred die, every man is mortal: But I know one thing that never dies, the glory of the great dead

The Hávamál The Words of Odin the High One from the Elder or Poetic Edda (Sæmund’s Edda); 76

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower  Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand  And Eternity in an hour

Auguries of Innocence - William Blake

also this one i know from interstellar (it also has some up vibe so that's a bonus):

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. [...] Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.

Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas

[slothydaydreamer]

HOTD, first impressions

(...well, second impressions, I already read like 50 fanfics, skimmed the wiki and know way too many plot points, but first impressions of watching the actual series)

Episode 1:

I liked the opening scene (and the fade-out that formed "before Daenerys" xD)

Rhaenyra is a cute lil bean. Sneaky, wild, deeply caring, avoiding duties, and very much still a child at heart at this point (when she gets introduced). It very quickly changes after that.

Daemon gets introduced by sitting on the iron throne and Rhaenyra dragging his ass off of it. Love the foreshadowing.

Alicent and Rhaenyra being baby gays lol

Rhaenyra's baby crush on Kriston lol²

Also Daemon apparently having openly the hots for Rhaenyra already LMAO to the point all the prostitutes in the silk streets know it. Now I know where that certain trope comes from. the one that gets used in so many lucemond fics

There's a lot of fucking and gore in this. :v but ya know. Whatever. Same old as in got, I'll get used to it.

I cackled when Daemon asked Alicent for her favour during the heir's tournament, right after he knocked down her brother and staring riiiiiiiiight at Otto. That's a calculated bitch move, this man has studied "causing trouble". What an absolute and notorious asshole, no wonder no one (in-universe) likes him. (I say this with love. Daemon is very much screaming "I'm here, I'm not replaceable, you can't touch me, so finally fucking pay attention to me". ...it also screams teen rebellion. I'm sorry to tell you this, Daemon, but you're a grown man.)

AEMMA 😭😭😭😭

That scene was so horrifying, the dread and betrayal I felt. When Viserys told her he loves her and she thinks he's here for her final moments before she dies in peace, and then he lets them fucking murder and torment her instead. Fuck him. Fuck the babymaker society

I couldn't cry at the moment, but just remembering how she told him before that this would be the last try, that she was so done with the process, it just breaks me that this killed her.

In the aftermath he redeemed himself a lil bit when he's genuinely grieving for her and it showed. But too little, too late, man. Way too little. Damn right you should have seen that Rhaenyra is heir enough earlier. It makes me a bit mad that it takes until Daemon's major blunder that he decides on that step. Aemma could have been alive if he decided this earlier.

Going back to other things...

Otto, you're a scheming bastard and I want to kick your balls for using your daughter. also Daemon fuck you for giving him the idea. I am convinced his jab during the council meeting at Otto gave him the motivation and the idea to push his daughter at Viserys.

Daemon calming Caraxes when it's obviously himself who's angry pffff

It was cute when he took Mysaria's hand to "calm Caraxes down". 😂

Rhaenyra looked gorgeous and regal when she was declared heir. Ahhhh.

I am throwing dirty looks at the Baratheon dude tho, he looked not so eager to bend the knee and I remember his house being a stinky oath breaker later...

The first episode hooked me and I could talk about so many more details.

[danikatze]

For the CR meme: 30, 33, 35

30 What is your favorite theory or headcanon that has absolutely no bearing on the plot and isn't important at all, but which is completely compliant with canon?

Oh gosh that's a difficult question. There are certain fandoms I have an infinite amount of hc and theories for, but I don't have any that I can think of for CR. Looking around in my CR tag I did get reminded of all the wild theories around Bolo from EXU Calamity and I love each and everyone of them hahah. Well I guess imagining that Yussa has (had) a mullet at some point is a hc that is not important at all, and golly do I like the drawings that I made of that x)

33 You may ask any member of the cast one, and only one lore clarification question. What do you ask?

Hmmm I'm usually a wait-and-see kind of person.. I certainly don't have C3 lore questions, because of all that might still be revealed. Nor any C1, because while I like it well enough I'm not that interested. When it comes to C2 I'm especially looking forward to Fjord and Molly's origins comics, and there is a chance I might get the Nine Eyes of Lucien next weekend (we're celebrating Sinterklaas in the Netherlands, which means exchanging gifts and I asked for the book 🤞If I don't get it, I'll probably buy it myself lol)

I'm not expecting an Essek Origins comic, and I would definitly love to know more about Den Thelyss and about Verin in particular. Matt has dropped little snippets about his relationship with Essek and it sounds delightful and kind of heartwarming? I wanna know more about his dynamic with Essek growing up, but also as adults. So yeah I guess I would ask Matt about Verin.

Wait wait wait, speaking of Den Thelyss: my real question is about Essek. HOw is Essek not consecuted. WHat's the story, Matt?? Isn't it too important for his den to just accept a "no thanks" from him? Did he "too busy, maybe later" it for so long until his den just gave up? Did he fake it? If so: how do you fake a consecution ritual that takes an entire day? As far as I'm aware he lies about it to everyone, so can I assume he lies about it to his den too?

I also think it's a curious coincidence that Essek didn't receive a consecuted soul when he was born in the first place. I mean it makes sense that you're not guaranteed to get one when you're born because not everyone who worships the Luxon gets to be consecuted and so it's pretty much random, but it's a thought that struck me nonetheless while listening to c2e91 again a few days ago.

This answer was a bit of a ride, sorry hahah.

35 You can set the time and place of the next EXU series, but it cannot be within 100 years of the Calamity nor Divergence. When and where do you set it?

I have a weakness for creatures that are commonly viewed negatively, shown in a different light. So the Mighty Nein's introduction to Xhorhas will always be one of my favourites, and I would be very interested in seeing a mini campaign take place in Asarius for example. That could be so much fun, especially if like half (or all) of the cast plays some type of monster: very fond of bugbears, but also a minotaur PC?! that would be so cool..

Besides that I'm also super intrigued by the lands scarred by the Calamity. It reminds me of a place in Belgium where apparently nothing would grow for a good while after. I'm never really interested in WW II stories, so many have been forced on me for educational purposes and as someone who's prone to downheartedness all they did was make me feel pessimistic. That story of the land and the animals that fled it grieving what happened there always did something to me though. It was probably barren because of the stuff the armies used to gass their enemy, but still, the idea of a cursed and/or grieving land captures my imagination.

And I don't really care when it takes place, because the reclaiming of the land around Ghor Dranas to build Rosohna came with a lot of setbacks and any stage of that process could be really good!

[pluterrarium]

.

im not sure how to grapple with the fact that im starting to push 30 and have only started to feel like im actually allowed to....want to do things and develop skills that i want to have and enjoy the process .....instead of dedicating my entire existence to drawing just bc ive always boxed myself into the designated drawing guy or whatever its like... idk.......on top of extremely bad depression amd dysphoria...like. being in a hole you just cant crawl out of no matter what sucks ass man. and its only until now that i feel like. any shred of permission to seek any kind of help. like i feel like im constantly grieving for no reason and its out if my control no matter how much i try to positively reason with myself. like i have so much trouble feeling like im allowed to be my own person and have the freedom to engage with the world how i want

also i need to go fucking wild and bonkers who wants to be in a band that makes really bad music with me i need that so bad lol. its my middle school dream tbh i want to be a child again. im still mentally 15

[the-good-projxct]

Feb 19th, 2024

10.22 pm Listening to Mipso - people change. Sitting in bed in Karen. 

Theres this photo downstairs in Karen, as you enter the kitchen. It is a photo of my dad, his cousin and his grandfather, my granddads dad. My dad is a teenager, early teens. I love that picture, it also breaks my heart. It is a reminder that my dad was once a boy. Theres something about that realization that literally brings me to tears while also making me happy. We meet our parents as adults and don’t give them the grace, realization that they too were once children. I’ve been telling KaMami lately to take care of baby her. We are grown now, she can focus on the child within. On this journey of seeking Gøod and finding God, I found my inner child. I found childish wonder. I see the world through childish wonder/curiosity. And maybe that’s why it breaks my heart to see my dad as a boy. Maybe it’s because I can see how life beat the childish wonder out of my parents. I see it in fleeting moments but generally, they are deep in the tide of life. They may stop and smell the flowers but they are not lying down in a field of wild flowers for a whole afternoon. And now I want to cry, LOL. Bruh. I’ve been wanting/needing to cry for a few days now. I have lots of reasons to cry, grief, change, and my period. But also, I have been stifling my crying because didn’t I just get the thing I really wanted? I recognize that multiple truths can happen, I can have it all and still grieve the loss of what was. I am feeling a bit anxious and this is a true test of Trust the Universe. I have no idea what 3 months from now will look like. There is no plan, no agenda for 5 months. And coming from the western hustle culture, this chillin’, this peace, this zen is anxiety inducing. I know I am to use this time to process, to understand, to feel, to be but most of all to Trust the Universe. This is God’s plan. I don’t get to control it, I only get to pray on it and be present. I think all of these feelings brewing are what are making me want to cry. Like I feel the cry just building up but it’s not coming out yet, it will be a big cry over many different things. Also being here on a Sunday and seeing how divided and at odds a lot of my extended family are is quite sad. I feel sad that this is the state of affairs. I don’t think most of us will get together once my grandma passes away. That will be it. End of an era. End of a family dynasty. I am kind through it all. I am present through it all. I am humble through it all. These are big Truths I am witnessing and I have to be honest with myself. I have enough wisdom and respect to move through without ruffling any more feathers than my existence and presence already does. Thank God the nature here is peak and we spent a lot of time outside yesterday. The only thing I want from family and friends is time. That is it. And my part will be, I will Love anyway. I will be Gøod. I will be a Saint. I won’t start the war that I could. In north America, I healed so I wouldn’t start a war with others. In Kenya, I came home healed so I wouldn’t wage war against my family. Similar. Same Same. I talked to Munene for like 5hrs yesterday to curb the awkward dynamics going on in the house. I miss him. Nairobi feels weird without him here. Like something is missing. I talked to Mureithi and Aunty Bome today. Then I went to the mall to buy pads, panadol and some snacks. I read for awhile, chilled with the elders. I am Gøod. I am Saint. Ase.

[david-box]

Honeymoon States liveblog thing I wrote in my notes app but I post it a week late lol

Kendall having a poor little meow meow moment over here. Who's fucking house is this honestly do they all just fucking move all the time. Shout-out to Roman drinking from the sink same bro. Shiv looking real forlorn. Wait who's Sharon. SHES FUCKING PREGNANT. WHAT. WHATTT. WHAT. she's upset. Aw man.

The dark piano tones right when they're on an elephant always gets me. I'm surprised they didn't change the intro. Ope, Kendall with the big sunglasses again in the paparazzi, here we go again, back in the penthouse he ain't been in for years. Oh shit, Marcia!!! He spoke every morning and afternoon? Goddamn. Fuck. Oh um. Thanks. Marcia. Who was Hugo cussing out, lol. Kenda is surrounded by a lot of people he doesn't really know right now sitting in his home. Love how Roman's IDed by his finger taps. Like how he went from the dark room to the white room going from random ass sorry for your loss shit to his siblings joking around as soon as possible. Roman not processing it lol. Freight train a coming. Pre grieved. Lol. Coronation demolition derby right as Tom walks in. Love how Greg is just tall. And Shiv looks away on purpose right as Greg looks in. Glad to see Tom stepping into the finances gang - they don seem to mind his presence. He's not focused on it though till he brings up CEO and Franks method of getting them off to another room is fantastic. I get the sense they're more in charge than the kids are. One hour! Wild Oh, look, shit show reference. Glad they're not fired. Oh man Cousin Greg just. Walks in. Bruh. Dude you're not the family. Bruh. Dude. Bro. Greg. Bro. Get a new mommy love you Roman lol. Bro pick the phone up.

Interim thing. What's his face doesn't seem honest to me tbh. They're trying to take over. Tom: screw ups and dipshits *discussing his wife and in laws* lol. They're not gonna like that choice Charles or whatever your name is. They're have power too. Like Katrina vying for Gerri which Roman could swing for. Oh so CFO and Frank are in cahoots then lol. Poor Tom. I don't think Karl wants to leave by parachute anymore. love how Gerris like you were relevant in the 90s :-). Katarina walks off and Toms like yo. Don't fire me.please. Gerri calls him out loll. Good for him to brush it off. I think eating helps. Toms face shshhshssha.that is strong words Karl.bro. Damn dude could a made yourself useful. Mattson is ignoring him because Roman didn't answer. Shiv openly nervous lolll. Reconfigure in a week bro nah man. No lost of momentum. We're gonna do this rn lol. Why is Mattson pushing? Love her facial expressions lol. This is the annual retreat :-) come to us rn lol :-) *swedish accent*

Greg is tall. Marcia is like who the duck is Greg. Marcia's like look how far you've come :-) and Willas like we're both escorts bitch :-). Their honeymoon is a presidential tour. Coolio. She is so mad. ????????? Why would Marcia sell it. How does she own the penthouse. 60 and 70 million WHATTT the fuckkk WHY DOES SHE OWN THE HOUSE. what the fuck was that. She sold immediately. Idk if he wanted to buy at 63 lol. Role as executer.... What's the paper.... Tell us. Bro. Go away bruh. Get lost. Lol. Karl.Im kidding ;-) lol. In a humorous way. Those little princes.... Lol. Gerri wants you out? We might as well show her lol. It's his will ohhhhh nooo. Okay. He penciled something in last minute. Not Germain as long as as they don't know. Gerri is so funny lolll.

Con you gonna tell em they don't have the house anymore. At least Willa gets back to the city if she even likes it. Love how he's not even full front page. Dad sounds great would have loved to meet him. I think Connor really doesn't have a clue well no he's lying lol. That's mature Ken. The reviews are in, 5 stars. Noon. Hugo doing his own thing bruh y'all are so rich. Hugo asking for help :-( insider trading Hugo bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. I can't recollect bruh bro. Hugo. Hugo. I don't think Kendall can fix that. A "complicated man." Roman sitting in his old chair. He won't fuck a child because he won't even hug his grandkids aaaaahhahha okay poor Shiv tho lol. Shiv giving Tom the death glare lol. Bruh what water buddy. You can't say the slate is clean that's their job. Girl?? Lol still curious to see what the will says. Here to serve. Good luck. Yep that's that buddy. Nice doors. They're telling them?? Kendall? It's old damn. 4 yrs ago. Shivs head shake is wild. Look dude it does look like either. Interim position so why vye for it bro. Shiv is correct it's not decipherable but Kendall keys her in asap lol. So he did plan his funeral. Shiv dealing with the fact it was never going to be her. Roman's handling this best. That would be the dream financially speaking bruh lol. Oh they called Greg in? Disbursements. Nice. Penciled addendum with a question. Hwhahaahahah what??? Noooo Greg buddy. You have to work. Poor Karl. You don't have a good rapport bud. Poor Gerri is like this literally has no legal meaning please don't do thissss. Kendall. Buddy. Take the money and run. Is it real. There's that again. He *sometimes* wanted it. Karl really has affection for Kendall. He really does think this. Still Buddhist Kendall? Jackass. No Karl's not gonna follow buddy.

Poor Shiv. Shiv wearing a waist cincher while pregnant. Sad. Tom what the fuck does "you'll regret it" even mean you did pick the wrong horse. Asshole. Shiv is not happy. Shiv thinks she killed him? He was old. He misses the idea of him :-(. Tom missed her implication there. This is sweet. He loves her. He really does. She's trying not to cry. Colon has jeans on??. Lol. Dog without it's person. Not wrong. Secret service sweep?? Bro? Who the fuck is Mencken. Spooky embryo is funny. I think I have a counter veto lol my dad just died too. Who the fuck is doing this bruh. Giant of the conservative moment WAIT IPHONE FROM THE CLOGGED TOILET????? TOM???? bruh???? No compression socks for Kerry's sake??? This is evill!! Aaahhhh ahaha. Into the shape of a dick -> come on - bro Tom buddy lol. Paleolibertarian?? Dude. Connor dude. Shelby is here. Wild. He's literally smiling. Greg kissing up to Marcia for literally no reason bruh. She's crying right away. Damn. Fuck me that's a lotta drugs Christ alive. Arrangements for what. Greg shut the fuck up seriously. Oh his name Sandy. We should talk (walks off) lol.

These scenes flow well. That was sneaky Tom. Lip balm Tom Wam. He's smiling bc it still works. Heyyyyy stewey! Bro. Pulmonary embolism. That's a quick one. Stewey is funny. I hope he doesn't ask to push the sale. Stewey is gonna pull for Kendall ehhhh maybe. I don't think he thinks Kendall should do this. Pubes got singed lol. Kendall is trying to say he got blackmailed without saying it. Hey, haunted house reference. Drinking in the dark sounds pretty good. What's in it for me -> my dad is dead so please 🥺:-( . Willa wants it bigger. Everyone else is trying to avoid the meeting lol poor ken. Kendall. Dude. Who gives a shit? Why push Connor out?? Even Roman doesn't want to.

You have an issue with me that's fine (it's not). Shiv wants to grieve. Ger bear. Not Gerri, just not you. They want it together but it can't happen. Kendall is saying no lol. Hes lyinnnnggggg. This is like a pick 2 triangle. The fucking paper dude bro. Kendall went from yes shiv to no shuv as soon as Roman came in bruh. Roman pushes Shiv out. Ouch. It is but it isn't. It's holding but it isn't. I don't think Roman wants to fuck Shiv here vut Kendall might. Boss bitch eyyy. They tried to bluff Roman but Shiv gets that they don't actually understand or know that voicemail, asking if he's a cunt is pretty good for em lol. They're vying for this like it's permanent but it can't be. God you people are all fucking stupid. Ken and Rome. Ken and Rome. Who is shouting long live the king and the other king. Oh they meet on the steps again. Ouch that has GOT to sting ow.

That's a nice desk. Sudoku. Kendall didn't know bro you're such a shit liar. His jackets still there? Wild. Bring shiv in you assholes. Is Roman looking at his Viagra. The markets.... Dum dum dum dum dum.... Drums dadaddadada.... Operation embalm Lenin. Toughest version is correct. The paper is not strong dude. His kids were pulling the strings. I have quesineess (but is silent) they should absolutely shit on dad tho. Kendall buddy I don't think that's an underline. It wouldn't be. They redid the bathroom. I think Shiv knows he's fucked. Dhshhshs Jesus Christ Kendall what the fuck is wrong with you. What does soft no prints mean bro. Kendall pulling Hugo along with that leverage damn. Ouch. What control does he even have here over insider trading? Nice ending song tho.