#the gentlemen ff

[wetpussyju1ce]

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Raymond Smith x fem!reader

+18. mdni

note: quite obviously inspired by the movie of the same title from 2005. Ray and reader r married and secretly assassins behind each others back, until one day their real identities get exposed n they have to work through what it means for their marriage and relationship.

the whole street knew them as the cute couple that everyone wanted to hang out with during bbq parties, or when football was on and someone invited everyone to come and watch the game in their house. Ray was a gentleman through and through, always prepared, polite and reliable, whereas his other half was the more spontaneous one. She's easily the life of the party, sweet, friendly and warm.

and when they were together they were a sight to behold, Ray was one handsome fucker, slicked back soft hair and a thick beard, broad shoulders and kind yet intense eyes. His other half was simply gorgeous, brimming with youthful mirth, the one that somehow all young children gravitate to, always ready to play with them or offer snacks. 

Ray worked as an accountant in the city while his wife was a freelance artist as a cover, but both were actually assassins. She ran her own small business and even got to open a few galleries to show off her art, she was doing well, they were doing well. 

until one day they both ended up going after the same target, raymond was settled on top of a building, ready to put a hole in the target's skull until an ice cream van barrelled down the street, hitting the target's car and Raymond cursed. It all happened so fast, a hand poking out of the window of the van holding a gun, and Raymond didn't think, pulling the trigger, missing and nicking the person's hand, making them pull their hand back and shoot with the other, straight at him, almost taking out his left ear. How that person was able to see him from that far, and barely miss, was beyond him.

the next day over dinner, Raymond noticed his wife's bandaged finger, he froze and watched her happily chew the pasta he made and enjoy his homemade garlic bread.

“Love?” He said and she hummed, lifting her head to look at him, mouth full of pasta. 

“What happened to your finger?”

She froze and he saw something flash behind her eyes, she quickly chewed and swallowed her mouthful, “Hot glue gun got me,”

“Hm,” He slowly stood up and made his way around their dinner table, standing over her and reaching to hold her hand when she snatched it away, “It's still sensitive.”

“I just want to see how bad is it,” Ray said, tone neutral and stable.

“It's not too bad, I already cleaned it well and wrapped it pretty tight, I can't open the bandage to show you,” She explained, clutching her finger with her hand, and looking at him with her big Bambi eyes. He observed her carefully, about how open and honest she sounded and looked. There's no reason for Ray not to believe her. But then he had a gnawing feeling in his guts, and he learned a long time ago to never ignore it. 

So he smiled, “Dessert?”

She lit up, “Yes, please!”

He'll have to investigate later because he really wants to trust his wife, but he knows from experience not to ignore his gut feeling if he wants to keep on breathing. So for now, he'll serve his lovely wife dessert, clean the table and make love to her that same evening, like he always does. 

. 

. 

. 

“Where were you?”

Ray was greeted at 4 in the morning in his home by his wife standing in the kitchen, wearing his t-shirt and her undies, looking delicious as ever. if it was any other time Ray would already be balls deep inside his wife's perfect cunt, but it wasn't one of those times. 

instead he slammed his duffel down on the counter, in the middle of their kitchen, he opened the bag and took out a brick of clay, the type you can get from art stores, from the same brand that his wife likes the most. he then took his butterfly knife out of his pocket and easily sliced the thing open, and instead of bits of clay falling apart, a neatly wrapped pack of bullets fell with a clank. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what the fuck is this?” Ray said, inhaling sharply and pointing at the bullets and the rest in the duffel bag with his knife. 

His wife didn't move, her arms crossed over her chest and looking at the bullet pack, then slowly raised her eyes to meet his and he frowned, moving a step back when he was met with icyness. 

She unfolded her arms and let them hang at her sides, licking her lower lip as Ray watched, knife in hand and heart hammering in his chest. 

“A regular civilian is not capable of finding that out,” She said and Ray’s fingers started itching, he was hot all over under his clothes and he was so close to doing something he's never done to the love of his life, to his wife, ever. 

“A regular civilian also can't own devices that can't be traced, or work in a company that doesn't fucking exist,” She spat, her previously warm eyes emitting nothing but danger, and all bells in Ray's mind rang loud and clear; he needed to kill her before she kills him.

It all happened so fast, her snatching one of Ray's fancy butcher knives that are magnetised to the wall and dodging Ray throwing the duffel bag at her. Knives sliced the air between them and Ray charged at his wife with everything he got, not holding back, twirling his knife quickly and fast in his fingers, from one hand to the other as he slowly walked her further inside the house, his wife walking backwards, knife in hand and a wild look in her eyes.

She grinned sharp and predatory, “No wonder you're so good with your fingers,”

Ray couldn't hold back his laugh, “What can I say, I'm a natural.”

“How did you figure it out?” She asked, the back of her knees hitting the sofa. 

“Be honest, how did you hurt your finger?” Ray asked. 

“Gunshot,” She answered and Ray didn't know whether to be relieved or concerned. 

“Sorry, babe. Didn't mean to nick you.” He said and watched as her eyes darkened, “You dickhead! Why did you shoot me?! I was after a fucking terrorist!” She shouted, almost giving him a new haircut as he dodged the knife, Ray knocked her off her feet, she fell with a grunt. “It's just protocol, eliminating anyone who gets between me and the target,” 

Ray was about to grab her when she wormed herself away at a fast speed, pushed her body up with ease and balled her fists in front of her, jumping on their glass coffee table, “What sort of fucking company do you work for? I could've been a civilian!”

“Listen– get your feet off the coffee table!” Ray warned. 

“Fuck the coffee table, it's ugly anyway!” She spat and slapped the knife off his hand quickly, and as soon as he lost his knife he jumped her, her own butcher knife flying in the air and landing buried in the sofa. 

Ray fought to hold her still but she was strong and squirmy, hitting him with her elbow on his side, a gasp was punched out of him and he decided then to not hold back, Ray gathered her in his arms and threw her across the room, breaking the window and bringing down the blinds.

When she got her footing back, she glared at him with the power of fifty suns, “I can't believe you hit your wife, Ray.”

“Last time I checked my wife wasn't an assassin,” Ray said, throwing his coat on the sofa and unbuttoning the first 4 fout buttons of his shirt, then rolled the sleeves watching his pretty wife wrap a ripped piece of fabric around both of her wrists, “Your hypocrite, you're an assassin too! And your name is probably not even Raymond Smith either!”

She grabbed Ray's favourite potted plant and threw it at his head, as he dodged the hit, he found himself embraced by his wife, her legs wrapped around his waist and arms wrapped around his shoulders, “You know that won't work-” His voice quickly got cut off when she squeezed his neck with the remainings of the blinds, the white fabric pulling tight at his thick neck as he clawed at her to let go.

“Did you even love me? In those 5 years of marriage, was anything real?” She asked, squeezing harder until Ray slammed them both down on the ground, bruising her back, she screamed and he took that second to get her hands off him, finally gulping oxygen into his lungs, “Yes! Yes, I fucking did!”

“Then why didn't you tell me?! Why did you hide??” She shouted, eyes brimming with tears at being slammed down on her back, but also at the anger at being lied to. 

“To protect you, that's why! I can't tell my bride I was a killer, what sort of girl would marry a man like that?!” Raymond said, hovering above her, hair dishevelled and eyes wild. 

She then started giggling, giggling for the love of God. “Ray, my love, the light of my life,” She said, holding his face in her hands, Ray feeling his chest burn at the overwhelming emotions he was feeling, “You told me you were an accountant and I married you. If a girl is willing to marry an accountant, she'll marry an assassin,”

Ray didn't mean to laugh, his eyes burning with unshed tears as she brought his face lower and kissed him gently on the lips, and for a moment everything was okay. 

That's when she decided to grab him and flip them around, squeezing his head between her thighs and pulling at his arm, hard. 

“Even though I really did love you. Don't even think I'll let you go, now. I'm not a civilian, baby, and you'll do well to remember that.” She threatened and Ray grinned, he won't have her any other way. 

He brought his free arm up and squeezed at her naked thigh, “Are we fighting or fucking? I'm getting mixed signals here.”

“Oh, can it, Mr Smith,” She squeezed his head tighter, cutting off his oxygen as he gasped and relaxed her hold, just to give him a taste of what's to come if he tries to run away. 

Their short moment of peace was erupted with a rain of bullets. Raymond both threw them on the ground, under the range of the gunfire. 

“What the fuck!” She cursed and when the gunfire finally stopped, Raymond dragged her up the stairs and the gunfire resumed as they tried not to get hit, “Meet me in my studio, okay?” She said and Ray nodded, turning to get to their bedroom, to probably, well, most definitely get a gun. She was about to turn around when he grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her hard, when he pulled away she grinned, her cheeks warming up.

“Go on, then.” He smirked, patting her cheek and sneaking to their bedroom as she made her way to the studio, quickly grabbing every hidden weapon in the room and shoving it all in a backpack, she opened the window and hopped on her desk, and looked outside, immediately spotting guys from her organisation, and others most definitely from Ray's firm. And, they definitely weren't here for tea. 

She quickly loaded her gun and waited on her desk for Ray, the wind making her shiver under her t-shirt and undies. She was totally barefoot too, but she'll worry about that later. 

“Mr. & Mrs. Smith! Come out whenever you are! You know the rules! No banging the competition!” A voice called out and she cursed under her breath, then gunshots resumed, in that moment Ray walked inside the studio, greeted by her gunpoint, “Let's go,” He placed her pair of Uggs in her lap and nodded at the window facing their garage. 

“That's what took you so long? My fucking shoes?“ She said, quickly slipping them on and hopping out of the window, walking slowly on the roof to then jump down behind the house. “You're not walking barefoot in the streets, it's really unsanitary.” Raymond said, disgusted. 

They sneaked inside the garage, getting inside the car, Ray in the driver's seat and her in the passenger's, with the two bags of weapons and other stuff by her feet as the garage door opened up automatically, catching the attention of the other assassins, “Put your seatbelt on,” Ray said, absolutely running over anyone jumping in front of their Mercedes as she shot them out of her window, Ray driving furiously down their street. 

“You got me shoes but didn't think to get me trousers?” She said, pointing at her lap, she was still wearing underwear.

“You look great, don't worry.” He shrugged as she glared at him, “My ass is freezing, just so you know.”

“I'll warm it up for you later.” Ray said, smoothly driving down the empty road, looking at the rear mirror every minute or so, making sure they were not being chased.

I really wanted to write something for like secret spy AU or something. but didn't know how to do it. only that I wanted it to be funny n sexy in a way. so I luckily remembered that Mr and Mrs Smith 2005 was still in my watchlist. so I watched the movie and immediately wrote this after finishing the movie. and I used Ray Smith cuz his name is ALREADY smith and I'm in love w him so yeah 😍😩

[leavemeslowly]

Theo James made an excellent point which may get lost because of a wild ride that the show offers. He explained that his character, Edward, gets corrupted by power and violence.

This dark theme is neatly deepened throughout the show and very well resolved at the end. Think about Eddie’s transition from a captain striving to avoid unnecessary border conflicts to a drug lord always having his way. It takes a really unsettling turn. Explored before, famously in the Godfather, the Gentlemen’s new reimagine serves justice to this trope.

The point of the story is that they are not gentlemen. It is just a cover they exploit to justify their horrible deeds.

[hourlystonem]

Never have i ever - Horniglass

tw: abuse of alcohol, mention to drugs, smut and bad words.

all rights reserved, i do not authorize adaptations or translations. this is posted only on tumblr, so if you read this in another site, it's not me. please, send me a message and warn me if that happen. thank you, and good reading :)

They are sitting in a bar table. Eddie invited Susie to have "just a few drinks" (wich is clearly a lie). But Susie didn't care for that. Above anything, she wanted to be next to him, even if she couldn't admit. And let's face it, some alcohol would be good to eliminate all of this estress and tiredness out of her body and clean up her mind for a moment. Two mobsters losing mind for the drinks in a bar: what could be better? That's exactly what crossed Eddie's mind. He knew that she would never deny it. And that's what bring us to present, when this is actually in practice. It's 2 a.m, but it's not like they care for it. Susie says: "I'm starting to feel bored. We should play something". He looks at her, confused, but knowing where she wanna get. "Play something? Like, Never have i ever? I used to play these games when i was sixteen and drank like an animal at the school parties". She chuckles, filling up their cups with two shots of whisky. As they look at each other in the eyes, Eddie just decide to start the game.

— Never have i ever... was a mobster

— That's not fair, you're cheating!

— I'm not, you have to drink. That's how this game works, isn't it?

She looks at him with that one angry face, while take the shot of the whisky and fill up her cup again.

— Never have i ever inherited a whole family's property and title because my brother is too stupid for that

— Fine.. you got me. - He takes the shot.

— I know i did. - She winks. For a moment, they exchange looks again.

After like, twenty minutes playing this, they can't think straight anymore. In any perspective.

— Never have i ever wanted my business partner so hard that i can't even look at her face anymore without feeling weak. - He says, giggling.

— I do, a lot. - She giggles with him, while takes the shot.

— Oh, really? - He asks, getting a little more closer to her on the table.

— Really. Want me to prove it? - She whispers, trying hard to keep composure and not looking away.

— Go ahead. Show me your cards.

In a second, they both lean in at the same time. The table shaking while they move, Susie quickly getting up and pushing him. Eddie places her against a wall, kissing her desperated like it's the last kiss of their lives. They don't care for who's looking, nothing matters when they're together, and that's the magical thing. Susie couldn't even walk a straight line, but that's not a problem. When she notices, she is already in his arms, being carried to the outside, in the car. He gets into the car with her and close the door, Susie's hand not leaving Eddie's arm at any moment. She felt safe, in peace. All of their clothes were on the floor in seconds, fingers running to her body while all she could do was moan his name.

— Do you think you can handle that? - He asked, in a caring tone.

— Yes.. just go on, i fucking need it...

— I just don't wanna do nothing you'll regret later.

— I couldn't regret of this not even if i tried.

— That's what i like to hear.

In a moment, she felt in heaven. Eddie had lost all his control to the woman next to him. Susie just could've pull his hair and scratch his back, while listened their moans echoing through the car. And particularly, that was music to their ears. It didn't take too long for them to get there. Susie kissed his cheek, leaving a mark of her red lipstick there. Eddie received it with a bright smile. They were a total mess, and that felt awesome as fuck. Words wasn't needed, the silence and the sound of their panting breaths was enough to understand it was forever.

[spider-xan]

Honestly, as a Chinese person, it's depressing at this point that the gothic lit fandom could not give a shit about the extremely racist way the Chinese characters are drawn and written in the League comics, even taking into account that Moore and O'Neill were trying to satirize racist imperial propaganda, re: the Yellow Peril and critique Orientalism in the context of racial scapegoating, but fucked up by playing it too straight and rounding right back to racism, and only cares about a white man not being the protagonist and shipping as if that is either the only or biggest problem with the comic, come the fuck on, please actually give a shit about bigotry that doesn't affect white men for once.

[everythingendsbutcomicsr4ever]

Every time I see two girls in a show or movie that have the same color lipstick I immediately think they’re lesbians, they had to coordinate the color so that when they kiss their lipstick wouldn’t mix 💅 that is divinely written into the text, a secret language that they are more than just best friends, gals being pals 👯‍♀️ they’re smooching your honor!

[nymph1e]

Listen. When I saw a gay super hero romance novel that was clearly a parody of the super hero genre did I expect to start a series with the most insane and creative super hero world building ive ever fucking seen? No. Yet here we are.

[aromanticgarbage]

The hottest (non music) videos ever uploaded on youtube are tom scotts centrifuge video where he passes out and the infamous filthy frank human ramen.

[bitchdafuqyousay]

has anybody got a cigarette n a goddamn lighter

[altfire]

keep wanting to post shit like "not me reading a book 🤪📚🤓🧠" since i got my kindle but im sparing u all. ur welcome

[pdraxxi]

Moodboard for my (yet another) human warrior rook Althea. she/they/her shadow dragons faction.

[verstappen-cult]

# IN A WORLD OF BOYS, THEY’RE GENTLEMEN | MV1 & CL16

summary: people always like to jump into conclusions and you are the internet’s newest victim, the ‘slut playing with two boys’. little do they know, there’s more to the story.

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader x charles leclerc. content warning: kaia gerber as fem!reader, cursing, toxic fans, tiny bit of angst because i like to make them suffer, f1 grid because they need their own warning. inspired in the song slut! by taylor swift.

# INSTAGRAM

Liked by user01, f1wagsnews and 152,840 others

paddockgossip Max Verstappen and a mysterious girl spotted in Monaco this afternoon. This is the second time we’ve seen them in a span of two weeks. We still don’t know who she is, but they seem pretty close. Is Max Verstappen finally taken?

View all 9,738 comments

user01 not paddockgossip calling max’s childhood friend a ‘mysterious girl’ loool

user02 she’s been getting so much attention ever since they started dating

user03 we don’t even know if they’re actually dating

user04 i’m sure i’ve seen her before 🤔

user05 that’s because you have! she was seen with charles leclerc like a month ago but no one talks about it bc they haven’t been seen together after that user06 she’s friends with max AND charles????

user07 is this really max wearing non redbull merch???

user08 the girlfriend effect is real user09 ffs we don’t know if they’re dating

user10 no one’s asking the important question here: who is she?? do we have an instagram, twitter, something????

user11 she’s @/yourusername user12 no way she’s THAT pretty

Liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 63,734 others

yourusername tummy hurts don’t talk 2 me

View all 9,738 comments

user13 so this is max’s new girlfriend?

user14 shes one of us.

user15 SHE LIKES MAX VERSTAPPEN AND LANA DEL REY? SHE’S JUST LIKE ME FR

user16 and she has stomach issues too. it’s like looking at myself in a mirror

charles_leclerc but i was omw with some goddies, what do i do now?

yourusername tummy don’t hurt anymore 🥺

user17 i didn’t know charles and y/n were that close

user18 girl haven’t you seen the photos? user17 WHAT PHOTOS

maxverstappen1 i won’t say i told you so but i told you so.

yourusername you’re no fun at all

user18 oh to be y/n and have not one but two formula 1 drivers flirting with me in the comments

# TWITTER

# INSTAGRAM

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 135,767 others

yourusername book nerds! 📚 we have some really exciting changes coming for our book club in the next couple of weeks — but in the meantime, i want to share that the incredible @/lauradern will be joining us to talk about “honey, baby, mine”, a collection of conversations between laura and her mom… grab a copy and join us next thursday!

View all 12,658 comments

ana_d_armas This is amazing! 👏👏 can’t wait to join you and know more about this amazing book.

user19 Reading now!

user20 is that-is that really max verstappen?

user21 max verstappen? like as in formula one champion max verstappen? THAT ONE?

user22 what is max doing with her?

user23 do u think he knows about what’s going on with her and charles? think about your gf cheating on your face with your so called ‘friend’ user24 he has to know otherwise that’s pretty sad. user22 think about your gf cheating on you with your friend and having to see that friend every weekend… that’s so fucking awkward!

user25 where is charles? you got tired of him already? 😂

redbullracing You said he was gonna join your book club but all I see is Max napping. Bad. Very bad behavior.

yourusername sorry admin i tried!

user26 i need an explanation, like i would settle for anything at this point i just wanna know what is happening with them

user27 stop freaking out! they’re probably just friends

user28 yeah right nobody believes that

Liked by user29, francisca.cgomes and 254,122 others

paddockgossip New photos of Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N out and about in Barcelona. There are multiple witnesses that saw the couple ‘very cozy, they couldn’t stop touching each other’ inside the restaurant — this comes after the pictures of Y/N with Charles Leclerc kissing on his yatch just a week ago. We don’t know what is happening, who is cheating on who, but we do not support this kind of behavior.

View all 19,767 comments

user29 this is disgusting

user30 what is this chick playing at?

user31 oh shut up you all. you wish you were her.

user32 WHAT IS GOING ON WHY IS NO ONE SAYING SOMETHING ??? user33 probably because this is bullshit

user34 you don’t know anything. is actually so fun seeing you all losing your minds over this.

user35 I NEED ANSWERS

user36 they look good together ngl

francisca.cgomes 😂

user37 kika what does this mean

user38 they’re sick

user39 she’s jumping from one driver to another it wouldn’t surprise me if the next one is lando.

user40 at this point i think she would pretty much crawl into anybody’s bed

user41 she’s just looking for fame

user42 that’s what i’m saying! just look at her followers now, she gained like 100k user43 oh i hate her so much

Liked by user44, wags_news and 534,665 others

paddockgossip Well, well… We really thought we wouldn’t get any more news about the chaotic mess between Y/N L/N and Max Verstappen & Charles Leclerc, so, we were a little surprised to see Charles’ latest instagram story (second slide) where he tagged Y/N! It’s a beautiful picture but then we have Y/N’s story: a conversation between her and Max Verstappen. So, what do you think is happening here?

View all 25,736 comments

user45 OH MY GOD LOVE OF MY LIFE?????

user46 are they-are they soft launching their relationship?

user47 nah it’s mpossible these boys don’t know y/n is playing with them

user48 oh bestie that is so not what’s happening here

user49 I KNEW IT BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME

user50 what the actual fuck

user51 she’s such a slut

user52 she’s cheating and she doesn’t care. iconic

user53 i’m gonna throw up

user54 they need to get out of there asap

user55 SHES DATING BOTH OF THEM

user56 OH MY FUCKING GOD SHES DATING BOTH OF THEM. SHES DATING LESTAPPEN

Liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others

yourusername you really thought you knew it all, uh?

View all 886,728 comments

maxverstappen1 loves of my life.

liked by author and charles_leclerc

user57 WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFF

charles_leclerc my pretty girl and pretty boy.

liked by author and maxverstappen1

user58 THEY ARE DATING??? THE THREE OF THEM??

carlossainz55 FUCKING FINALLY.

user59 LESTAPPEN IS REAL WTF

lilymhe i love you all so much. 🩷

pierregasly you can finally stop moaning to me about wanting to be public. i was just about to commit murder.

user60 i never thought i would see the day where charles and max would be kissing

user61 not only that but also dating user62 in a poly relationship*

francisca.cgomes my favorite throuple. 💜

user63 this is so NOT what i was expecting

landonorris can you adopt me?

oscarpiastri me too, please.

user64 the fifth pic??? i also wanna kiss both of them pls

redbullracing Can we celebrate now? 🥺

scuderiaferrari My house? 10PM?

alex_albon this is such a surprise to me. i’m shocked.

danielricciardo MY PARENTS. 🤩

user65 look at that last slide 😭 they really were destined to be together.

Comments on this post have been limited.

[wetpussyju1ce]

Mr. & Mrs Smith pt. 2

Assassin!Ray Smith x Assassin!fem reader

+18. mdni

assassin ray who goes ballistic if anyone puts their hands on his wife, she can handle herself, can send her own husband to the hospital but he still can't help it. so when he ends up gunning down the assassins trying to kill them just for being together, he goes to the other room, looking for his wife and finds her on the floor, clawing at a man choking her out, trying to kill her, and Ray sees red, “Hands off my fucking wife!”

The man looks up and is greeted by Ray's gunpoint, “I said; Hands. off.”

the man slowly lets go and she starts coughing, crawling away from under him and gets up as Ray points his gun straight at him. she stands by his side, a hand holding her neck as Ray asks, “What do they want?”

“They want you dead.” The man answered. 

“Obviously, you fucking twat, why?” Ray hissed.

“They're scared you'll trade firm secrets; double agent stuff.” The man answered and Ray looked at his woman, then back at the man, and without another second thought, pulled the trigger, giving him a neat hole in the middle of his forehead. 

“Firm secrets, what a joke.” His wife muttered and he agreed.

Ray, who even though they're technically on the run, still manages to look for his wife's favourite snacks when they quickly stop for gas and he goes to buy some fags cuz he KNOWS he'll be needing a couple after tonight's shitshow. and when they're back on the road, he hands them to her, w a hand sanitiser and tissues, of course. She thanks him with a big kiss to his cheek and starts munching away as he drives them to the other side of the country. 

Ray who at the first opportunity buys his wife a pair of sweats to wear, because she's still in her panties and it's getting brighter outside, the world is waking up and she's bound to catch attention w a pair of legs and ass like hers. and when she slips them on, they fit absolutely perfect because he knows all her sizes by heart, and knows to get her a size up so they're baggy and extra comfy around the waist. 

Ray who gets a special kind of twinkle in his eye when he gets his hands on any type of big firearms. he loves them big w lots of buttons to mess with. after all, he's just a boy w a special love for tinkering n messing w machines. His wife notices and her heart grows twice as big at the sight. because he's so freaking cute, getting giddy over using big guns. she cant help the smile that pulls at her lips while watching her husband light up an alley w his machine gun, putting multiple holes in each assassin coming after them.

Ray who's concerned the second his wife groans and clutches at her arm, looking in pain and Ray immediately asks, “Who hurt you?” 

She points out a bleeding corpse, and he shoots it once, “Here, you'll be okay, darling,” And she smiles at him, as he kisses his thumb and middle finger together and presses it to where it hurts, and they leave a sea of broken and bloody bodies behind, hand in hand. 

Ray who finds out Fletcher was the one who ratted them out to their firms for money. who managed to get photographic evidence of them both together. a mundane picture really, them coming out of the big Tesco, Ray pushing their trolley while his wife is opening a pack of Maltesers. 

But Ray doesn't care. he hates it when people feel privy to his private life. he doesn't appreciate that kind of disrespect, at all. especially when there's a possibility that Fletcher could've taken a photograph of his lovely wife doing literally anything, like painting in their garden in nothing but a bikini under the sun. 

His wife quickly learned how protective Ray actually was. Before she knew his real occupation, she just appreciated it when he used his whole body as a shield to protect her from unwanted touches or attention. Or when that one time a tipsy man, at the pub, accidentally dropped his wallet on her lap and reached to grab it just for Ray to grab his wrist in a flash. The man winced and Ray relaxed his hold, but dragged the man's hand up on the counter instead, grabbed the wallet on his own and slapped it on the man's hand with a tight smile. She only watched and didn't move an inch, smiling big when Ray asked her to switch seats w him.

It wasn't anything big, but it was enough for her to praise and lean her whole body against him, giving him tiny kisses on his beard once in a while, dying at how adorable he was, and that was just when she thought her sweet and attentive civilian husband was just an accountant with a smidge of OCD.

But now that he could freely express what he could and would do for his wife, was the most thrilling and addicting feeling.

When she wasn't slicing her way through skin and guts, or shooting men dead until her hand burned around the gun handle, she would stand there and watch her Ray absolutely terrorise the other assassins. She would watch with her lower lip between her teeth, her eyes now practically hearts, toying w her fingers like a lovestruck teenager. It was so exciting. 

And when Ray would meet her eyes, he would grin and she would giggle, skipping to where he was, standing over a now cooling body and giving him a cheeky kiss to the corner of his mouth. then they would leave on a stolen car, breaking every road law and rule. 

And when she finds them a way to get out of the country, Ray realises he has to change his appearance, so he sits on the dingy motel room bed, abt to shave his beard off, he'll do it, but he's just saying goodbye to his facial hair before he has to get rid of it all and cut his hair shorter. At least his wife will only need to dye her hair. 

When she realises he's abt to get rid of one of her favourite things abt him, she whines and already mourns the loss. but then realises that actually, he showed her a picture of him when he was much younger and he looked incredibly handsome under the facial hair, so really, there won't be much of a loss. 

So before he shaves it all off, she asks him if he'd be up to eating her out one last time as a farewell ritual to his beard lmao. 

And Ray would never say no to her, so just to be extra safe, he goes ahead and washes his face, soaps his beard and rinses it, just so all that he gives his pretty wife is redness from the friction. and they go to town, oh they do that the next door guests bang on the wall and shout at them but Ray doesn't give a rats ass and his wife is in another planet as he pounds her to Sunday.

When that's all said and done. Ray finally shaves all of his beard off and she helps him, tilting his head this and that way, even using scissors and a blade when needed. then it was his hair. he thought abt buzzing it all off but she just asked him to hand her to scissors and brush. So she cut almost all of his beautiful prince charming hair, left a little at the top then shaved the sides shorter, giving him a fade of some sort. and at the end when he looks at himself in the mirror he feels so naked. so different. 

“Wow, you look like my boyfriend, not my husband.” She says while standing behind him, looking at the bathroom mirror, a towel wrapped around her chest, hair wrapped in clingfilm. 

Ray frowns in confusion, a hand on his cheek, “Excuse me?”

“You look like my bad boy boyfriend who scares my parents, not my mature dilfy husband,” She says and Ray is still confused, “Do you like it?”

“Hm?”

“Do you like my face? Without the beard?” He asks, turning around to face her. 

She places a hand on his big shoulder, and squeezes the muscle, “I'd let you do unspeakable things to me with or without the beard, love.”

He smiles and rubs his eyes, “I need my glasses…”

“They're on the bed, I need to wash my hair,” She says, kissing him on the cheek and he hums, walking out of the bathroom with his hands on his hips, dad style.

[leavemeslowly]

Eddie: I’m not stealing this car for you.

Susie: *smiles at him flirtatiously*

Eddie: Nevermind. Do you want me to steal anything else?

[noblecorgi]

2024: A Re-Entry to Fandom

I guess this is a thing? (Oh shit this brackets bit was written at the end and I appear to have emotionally vomited an essay. Sorry ‘bout that.)

In late 2023 I experienced a personal tragedy and retreated to where I had always found comfort: books.

I read a series that had been recommended to me before, but I hadn’t had time to read it - The Simon Snow Trilogy by @rainbowrowell and it awoke a dormant-but-never-forgotten love of fanfiction in me.

In my teens and early 20s I wrote a lot of fan fiction on the ol’ FF net, all of it of atrocious quality I’m certain, which is why I haven’t tried to rediscover that account.

Instead I found AO3, and restarted regularly writing for fun instead of for work or study/research.

I didn’t do any summation for 2023 because I think my first fic was posted on like 10 December 2023, but AO3 tells me I wrote 4 works, all SnowBaz, at a total of 55,154 words.

In 2024, I’ve published 5 works, at a total of 94,323 words.

What truly blows me away (and honestly makes me a bit teary) is the 1013 kudos, 100 subscribers (inc 15 subscribers to just me rather than a fic!), and 222 comment threads on my works. 🥹

So: my 2024 works.

Use your words, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 3,930 words

A smutty lil gift fic wherein Baz teaches Simon how to sext.

Splendid Morons, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 12,886 words

Published for Erotic Grope Fest, aka Baz’s birthday. A collaboration with @alexalexinii and a story written to enable their amazing art of Baz in lingerie.

Precious to me for not only getting to work with Alex, but also for being the beginning of my relationship with Becky @rbkzz, my incomparable beta who has become one of the dearest people in my life.

On The Rocks, SnowBaz, Rated: E, 74,592 words (WIP)

My opus, as it were. It originated from a fluffy cute prompt of “what if Baz and Lady Ruth were work besties?!” And I came along like “YEAH! But with trauma, exploration of love in mental illness, and alcoholism!”

I began posting it in March and it’s about 2/3 done now. But for Becky it would be both an absolute pile of horse poop, and an abandoned WIP. Instead it has a clear direction and she found motifs that I’d repeatedly used by accident in my drafts and built imagery, greater meaning, and also debated me ad nauseam on my preference for spelt over spelled.

Immune Response, @lumosinlove’s Cubs, Rated: G, 1,421 words

I was a big consumer of WolfStar in my teens and was recommended Lumosinlove’s Sweater Weather and, like many before me, fell in love with the story, the original characters, and ice hockey itself (much to the surprised glee of my Canadian spouse, who for a decade has tried in vain to get me on board. Little did he know the key was obviously gays.)

This is a lil’ slice of life sick fic examining how each of the Cubs responds to getting sick.

I have a lot more unpublished drabbles about these characters and some fics that are being cocreated so stay tuned for 2025?

Preliminary, my dear Basil, SnowBaz, Rated: T, 1,494 words

A gift fic for @martsonmars as part of the Carry On Discord’s Secret Snowflake Exchange.

Among their suggestions was “Sherlock AU, but not BBC Sherlock, 19th century Sherlock” and it hooked me with the idea that Baz would absolutely fancy himself as Sherlock. I actually sketched out a plot to SnowBazify 4 of the Holmes stories, so maybe 2025 will see them unearthed.

There is one other published fic I worked on this year, but as a beta rather than a writer for @swoopswrites @rsbigbang piece Class A which was super fun to do (and got me to watch a great series - The Gentlemen on Netflix) and Swoops has a fantastic mind so I’d encourage you to to check it out.

Finally, I have always been a writer rather than an artist, but I do enjoy drawing, and the need to upgrade my iPad for work arose and so I also tried my hand at drawing again for the first time since I was 17 or so.

In order from the first one to the most recent one, the lil scribbles I did this year:

Penelope Bunce, Wolfstar on a train, Baz with coffee, cuddly Cubs, FinnLo being adorable, iconic Moony with a cane, emo Sirius Black.

And THAT was 2024 (and 2023).

@artsyunderstudy @asocialpessimist @angelsfalling16 @whatevertheweather @edenalix @emjaydellyone @erzbethluna @emeryhall @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @roomwithanopenfire @thehoneyedhufflepuff @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @lonleyhumanbeing @letraspal @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @ichooseyousnowbaz @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @sorenphelps @skee3000 @stitchy-queerista @fiend-for-culture @facewithoutheart @fruitcoops @girlwithcurls96 @hushed-chorus @hihimissamericanbi @cutestkilla @cosmicalart @confused-bi-queer @noopienoopiernoopiest @messofthejess @monbons

[squoxle]

🗼Peril in Paris ~ Minho ff 18+

🗼pairing: Lee Minho (Lee Know) x Female Reader (close proximity) | 🗼wc: 4.2k | 🗼summary: On a study abroad trip to France, you're forced to share a room with the handsome and cold-hearted Minho. |🗼cw: angst, fluff, smut, unprotected sex, fingering f., slightly rough sex, squirting (sry if u don't like that), choking, profanity, swearing

⋆｡°✩Smut Scenes are Highlighted w/ Fire Heart Emoji❤️‍🔥

Disclaimer: this ff came from my drafts in April and was made originally for Sunghoon, so if u see his name anywhere…that’s why (April 25, 2023)

You and your two best friends were so excited to study abroad in France. You had been practicing your ‘française’ and now you could have a few intermediate-ish conversations. Well, actually it’s more like basic-advanced conversations. One of your friends, Charlotte, was super advanced in comparison to you—like halfway fluent to be specific. You have a habit of looking to her for extra help. But Noemi, your other friend, is more on your level. So, you tend to joke around a lot. For the next 16 weeks, you and the rest of your class will be touring all over the beautiful city of Paris.

You continued prancing around your room, packing your suitcase with everything you’d need for your semester away. This was your first time traveling to a country overseas and you weren’t entirely sure of what to expect. You tried your best to "prepare" by binging YouTube vlogs from Paris. Luckily for you, your friends were going to be right there with you. When you were together, nothing could go wrong. Or so you thought…

Charlotte’s Parents drove you and Noemi to the airport where you met up with the rest of your class. When you walked into the massive airport you followed the signs pointing to your group. “Okay everyone. I need to see two lines. One for the ladies and one for the gentlemen.” The head professor—Mr. Zhao—said as he waved his hands around to get everyone’s attention.

The students got into the appropriate lines with their suitcases and boarded the plane. “Omg! I still can’t believe we’re going to Paris~” Noemi giggled. “Yeah, this is an amazing opportunity to immerse ourselves in this beautiful language and culture.” Charlotte chimed. “Y/N! Come on! Let’s GOOO~”Noemi said. You were still locking eyes with Lee Minho. He had been staring at you almost the whole time you guys were in line. But it wasn’t the type of staring that would cause your heart to flutter, it was the cold glare that pierced your soul.

You proceeded to board the plane with your friends. Fortunately, you all had seats next to each other…it always felt like fate kept you guys together. “I saw him staring at you,” Noemi whispered as she nodded her head in Minho’s direction. He was sitting in the row next to us with some other boys.

“Ok, so what?” You snapped “He’s super attractive. And, he might be into you, just saying. If I were you I’d totally be into him” She giggled. Charlotte had already fallen asleep so she was missing all the drama. “Knock it off, Noemi. I’m not interested and I don’t think he is either.” You replied, nudging her shoulder. “So you’re telling me you don’t think he’s hot?” Noemi smirked. “I mean…he’s good-looking, but I’m not just gonna hop on him.” You said as the two of you glanced at the boy. “He really was beautiful,” you thought to yourself.

After the plane landed you and the rest of the group boarded a large tour bus that took you to the hotel you’d be staying at for the next 16 weeks. The female instructor, Ms. Rei, gathered all of the female students and put them into the 5 rooms in groups of three. Mr. Allen did the same with the male students.

However, for some reason, there was one room left and the only people who hadn’t been grouped up were you and Minho.

“Sorry. We miscalculated the room arrangements and you two will be sharing a room with me.” Mr. Zhao said with a shrug. To be honest, he’s one of the cooler teachers so this wasn’t a problem. The problem was that you were separated from your best friends.

You definitely DID NOT see this coming. "What are the odds," you sighed to yourself.

“Umm…well I was supposed to be all alone in this room. But since I’ll be sharing with you two…I’ll take the sofa and you two can share the bed.” Mr. Zhao said as we reached our room. “And don’t worry. It’s a king-sized bed. So, the two of you can sleep at some distance.” He awkwardly chuckled.

Minho remained dead silent the whole time. He then headed to your shared room with his phone in his hand. He was probably doing the same thing you would do…text your friends. You remember him sitting next to two other boys—also attractive, but that’s not the point.

“Which side do you want?” Minho said breaking the silence. “Oh…umm…I’ll take the side by the window if that’s okay with you,” I replied. “I obviously don’t care. That’s why I asked.” He shot back coldly. I really don’t understand why he’s being so cold. Neither of you wanted to be here, but at least you were trying to make the best of it.

Since you arrived at night, you only had enough time to shower and unpack a few things before bed. Mr. Zhao ordered some dinner from the hotel’s restaurant, but Minho decided to just shower and go to sleep.

While eating dinner, Mr. Zhao told you about a few of the things you were going to do the next day. By the time you finished, you were ready to go to bed. Without thinking, you walked straight into your room, locking eyes with Minho.

He was wearing a plain white tee and his hair was slightly damp. He was also wearing a pair of grey sweats with a towel around his neck. “I’m finished in there just so you know.” He said before sitting on his side of the bed with his phone in his hand. I couldn’t help but stare. “Are you going or what?” He asked, snapping me out of my head. “Oh yeah. Sorry.” you stammered, picking out your nightgown before heading to the shower.

When the morning finally came, I got ready for the day. On the tour bus is where I found my friends, Charlotte and Noemi.

“Hey…so what happened? We were texting you all last night.” The two of them said upon greeting you. “My phone died and I couldn’t find a charger.” “Oh, okay.” They looked at you as if waiting for you to tell them some juicy gossip.

“I’m sharing a room with Mr. Zhao and Minho if that’s what u were wondering,” you said slinging the bag over your shoulder. You watched as their jaws dropped halfway to the ground after what you just said.

“NO WAY! You are so lucky~! Did you and Minho ‘do’ anything?” Noemi asked mischievously.

“No, we just shared a bed--"

"Shared a bed! How are you being so chill right now?" Noemi spat, cutting you off. "Girl, the thing I would've done with an opportunity like that."

"You wouldn't have made much progress. When I came out of the shower he was still glued to his phone,” you continued.

“Oh, bummer. I thought he would’ve been cooler.” Noemi said waving her hands in the air.

When you guys arrived at the Louvre Museum you broke off into the same groups assigned last night. Which meant you had to be with stone-cold Minho and Mr. Zhao. Though you'd much rather be goofing off with your friends.

“Well guys, what do you think, huh? There’s some pretty amazing artwork here.” “Hmm. Yeah, I guess.” Minho said with a shrug.

Before you could speak, Mr. Zhao’s phone rang. “Hold on you guys. I’ve gotta take this call really quick.” He said before stepping out of sight.

Again, here you were. Alone. With Minho. The taps of his phone echoed throughout the quiet hall. That and the random sounds of him sniffing through his nose.

For weeks this cold behavior persisted from Minho and you’d had enough of it. He was making this trip miserable. And now was your chance to maybe change things up a bit. Or at least make it less awkward.

“What’s wrong with you?” You asked, sternly.

“Hmm? Were you talking to me?”

“Obviously. Who else is around?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed before turning back to his phone.

“You’re letting life pass you by while you tap away at that damn phone.” Saying this caused him to look up at you. “Since we got here you’ve been driving me insane. You make everything feel awkward, you hardly talk, and when you do, you have an attitude. What did I do to you?” Minho tucked his phone away in his pocket.

“There. Are you happy now?” His passiveness pissed you off even more. He could see the look of frustration on your face at his nonchalant behavior. You were fuming at his casualness.

“Sorry. I don’t know how else to tell you this. I’m just not a ‘people’ person.” He said looking down at the ground. “How about I make it up to you?”

“How do you plan on doing that?” You asked.

“Follow me.” He grabbed your hand as he led you out of the museum.

“But--" You stammered, trying to think of a valid excuse. After all, this is kinda your fault, right? If only you had just kept your damn mouth shut.

Like any sane person, you were weary about venturing off in a foreign country. Especially, alone...with a boy. "What about Mr. Zhao?” you spat, digging your feet into the ground in an attempt to stop him from leaving.

“Relax. I remember where the hotel is. Even if we get left behind, we won’t be lost.” He said with a smile.

This was the first time you saw Minho smile…ever. It was like diamonds. And I know how corny that sounds, but it really was just as rare and beautiful as diamonds.

He led you into a park that wasn't too far from the museum.

“What are we doing here?” You asked in a slightly shaking tone.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you wanna go back already. Daddy’s just getting started,” he smirked before holding your hand and walking further away.

“What had gotten into this boy?” You wondered to yourself. How does someone come from quiet and cold to cheeky and adventurous? Was he putting on an act or is this the person he’s always been? You couldn’t tell because both sides seemed so genuine, but by the time you snapped out of your thoughts it was already too late to turn back.

“So, what are you gonna do now?” You asked.

“Taking you out for a drink of course,” he said before walking into the cafe that stood in front of you.

“You think a cup of coffee is supposed to make up for you acting like a stone cold bitch?” You asked casually. To be honest you were trying to match his energy, but this type of lingo really wasn’t your style, and it honestly made you cringe at yourself.

“I can do so much more,” Minho whispered in your ear before kissing your cheek. The flustered look on your face caused him to giggle a bit.

“What the hell is going on?” You thought to yourself.

Once you made your way to the register, you were greeted by the young man behind the counter. He was tall, attractive, and had a naturally toned body. You could tell through the crisp white collar shirt he wore. You were speechless for reasons aside from his looks. As you could assume, he spoke to you in French. And, as you mentioned earlier, you weren’t very good.

Minho watched as a dazed and confused expression formed on your face while your brain played connect the dots. “Don’t worry. I got it,” he smiled before telling the young man what you wanted.

Luckily for you it was just a cup of black coffee. Minho’s ordered something else, but you definitely heard the word for coffee. You felt like kicking yourself in the ass for not studying enough.

You and Minho walked over to a table near a window. It was growing darker by the minute and you were starting to worry.

“So, you wanna talk? Let’s talk. Tell me something about yourself,” Minho said as you started out the window

“What do you want to know?” You asked as you toyed with your fingers under the table.

“Hmm…let’s start simple and then escalate to something a little crazier. How’s that sound?” He suggested, tilting his head slightly to the side.

You nodded in response as he asked you the first question, “What type of music do you listen to?”

"Uhhh. Honestly, I'll pretty much listen to anything," you said switching your attention to the conversation.

"Me too, but I prefer listening to good dancing music. It just makes me feel better," the two of you went on asking a few more random questions back and forth. However, the entire time he was talking you couldn't help but search desperately for that smile. Every now and then you'd see it peek out a bit, but you wanted to see it in full.

"See something you like?" Minho smirked as he ripped you out of your inner thoughts.

"Huh?" you stammered.

"Well, you keep looking at my lips. Did you want to kiss or would you rather keep thinking about it?" he leaned closer to you, flashing that cheeky smile.

You were speechless and you could feel your face heating up as he came closer to you.

"Since you haven't said anything, I assume a kiss is exactly what you want," he chuckled to himself. "Let's save it until after we leave okay. Hopefully, you can control yourself long enough."

It wasn't long before the waiter came out with your order. Two black coffees and a small box with a bow. "What's inside the box?" you asked Minho.

"It's a surprise," he smiled. "You can have some later," he said before sipping from his cup.

You were really starting to like this side of him. Especially the fact that you were the only one who got a chance to see it.

After finishing your drinks the two of you walked around for a bit more before Minho was ready to head back to the hotel. He also told you that he texted Mr. Zhao earlier, telling him that you felt sick and he was taking you back to the hotel. The box of treats was something for the three of you to share.

"I guess he forgot about the kiss," you thought to yourself as you climbed into the taxi.

Even though you initially told yourself that you wouldn't do something like that with him, you were getting the feeling to do a little more than just that.

The ride home was dead silent. It was like he had gone back to his old self again. Completely zoned out on his phone and absent in reality. Was it something you said? Or was that really all just some act to get you to shut up? You weren't sure, but you'd still hold on to the memories from that moment.

The glint from his smile flashed into your head as you walked through the hotel door.

"Feeling better?" Mr. Zhao asked as you came in.

"Yeah," you sighed as you watched Minho silently walk to the bedroom.

"Where're you going?" Mr. Zhao asked him.

"I'm going to take a shower," he muttered before walking into the room.

"Hey, next time you're not feeling well. Make sure you let me know. I could've taken you back here and got you some medicine," Mr. Zhao said, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Okay, I will," you smiled. "And Minho bought these for us," you said handing him the box.

"Aww. Let him know I said thank you. Did you want to pick yours first?" he asked as he opened the box.

"No, that's okay," you smiled before walking to the room.

It felt like a heavy weight was on your shoulders. The thrill was gone and everything had returned back to normal.

Just like last time, Minho came out of the bathroom with damp hair and plopped on the edge of the bed, tapping away at his phone. You pulled out a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt before heading to the shower.

You turned the water on high, causing the mirror to fog up. You got lost in the thought of Minho coming into the bathroom and joining you in the shower.

You squeezed your thighs together as the warm water ran down your body. You could feel yourself getting more and more excited, but the sound of the soap dropping to the floor startled you. You felt a bit of guilt after realizing that you were getting turned on by a casual interaction with a classmate you never really paid attention to.

You finished up in the shower before balling your clothes up to toss in the laundry bin.

As expected, you saw Minho lying in bed when you came out. The feelings of pure annoyance returned as you thought back to the way he behaved like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. The two-faced, bi-personality this man wielded was insane. Both sides seemed so genuine. It was hard to figure out who he really was.

You went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before going to bed. You looked over to see Mr. Zhao sleeping soundly on his makeshift bed. He'd gathered together extra pillows and sofa cushions to make a platform on the floor.

You walked back to your room and climbed into bed, moving around to get into a comfortable position.

"Can you keep still?" Minho said sharply.

"Sorry," you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you plopped your head down onto the pillow.

"Here we go again," you thought to yourself. "Random, grumpy, asshole," you sighed to yourself as you rolled over and closed your eyes.

"Hey," Minho whispered.

"What?" you angrily whispered back.

"Did you still want that kiss?" he asked as you rolled over to meet his gaze.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you spat back.

"No, I'm serious."

"You must've lost your fucking mind."

"Sorry, it's just that..."

"It's just that what?"

Minho moved in closer to you. So close that to the point that your faces were barely an inch apart.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," he said glaring into your eyes.

"You can't be serious. I'm not falling for this lame-ass act again. Good night," you huffed before turning away from him.

"I'm sorry for getting cold on you again. That's just the way I am," you heard him say from behind you.

"Look, there're two sides of me--"

"Yeah, I see that now," you mumbled, cutting him off.

"Let me explain--"

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm trying to sleep so can you just be quiet," you spat.

Minho pulled the cover off of your body causing you to turn your body over to face him.

"What the fu--" You were startled by Minho climbing on top of you. You were completely speechless.

Your eyes doe eyes glistened under the faint light emitting from the bedroom window. You watched as his body hovered over you. His facial features looked even more amazing in the cool moonlight.

Minho leaned in to kiss you while you were still dazed. Just a small peck, but enough to get your attention. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before kissing again.

You couldn't believe what was happening right now. You were in a shared hotel room making out with one of your classmates while your professor was asleep in the other room.

The kissing intensified as you thought back to your fantasy in the shower. You gripped onto Minho's hair as your tongues intertwined. Your breathing became ragged as you desperately begged for more. But what really got things started was when you accidentally moaned in his mouth.

❤️‍🔥

Minho paused to straddle your body as he looked at you lying beneath him. "What was that for?" he smirked. "Nothing," you lied. "It didn't seem like nothing," he leaned in closer. "Tell me what you were thinking about," he said as he began kissing on your neck.

"I was thinking about you in the shower," you blatantly admitted. You were surprised that those words had even escaped your lips, but Minho's reaction made it all worth it.

"Oh really? And what were you thinking?" he asked as he rubbed your thigh. "Go on. You can close your eyes if it makes you feel better," the feeling of his breath against your neck made your insides flutter.

"I was thinking about you coming into the bathroom and fucking me in the shower," you said as you closed your eyes. You could hear him slightly chuckle in your ear as he moved his hand between your legs. You felt his hands massaging your pussy through your shorts.

"Mhmm. And how did that make you feel?" he asked. "Ngh!" you groaned as he pressed his thumb against your clit. "Nevermind, I already got my answer," he smiled as he felt your pussy throbbing through your shorts.

"How about I tell you a little secret? I wasn't talking in the taxi because I was too busy thinking about all the things I wanted to do to you back there," Minho spat on his fingers before sliding them into your shorts. "And when we came in, I jerked off in the shower because of you," he continued as rubbed your clit.

"You're so fucking wet," he smiled as he kissed you again. "Do you wanna know what I was thinking about?" he asked to which you hummed in response. "How about I just show you," he smirked.

Minho reached down to pull your shorts off. You moved your legs to wiggle them off before they fell on the floor. Minho rubbed the print of his dick through his pants before pulling out his dick. He glided himself between your folds, you watched his dick twitch as he was eager to enter your wet walls. "Mmm. Your pussy feels so good," he groaned.

You sat up slightly to remove his shirt, revealing the scar on his stomach. Minho continued to stroke his dick back and forth between your pussy lips, coating it in your fluids. You watched as the precum seeped from his dick before inserting it into your pussy.

You let out a soft moan as he inched his way through. "Shhh," he hushed as he covered your mouth. "We don't wanna wake anyone up." You felt him pushing every inch inside of you before taking long, slow strokes in and out of your pussy.

The room was filled with the squelching sounds of your pussy and your muffled panting as Minho increased the speed. He moved his hand as he raised your legs to change the position. Your ankles were now over his shoulder as he pounded hard into your pussy. You tried your best to stay quiet, but the pleasure was overwhelming.

You started to moan quietly through your closed lips, that was until Minho grabbed onto your waist and fucked you deeper. A loud moan escaped your lips as he railed you deeper. "You like that don't you baby?" He wrapped his hands around your throat and pushed you into the bed as he hammered your pussy. Choked moans hiccuped from your throat as you reached your climax.

Your chest raised up and down as you gripped onto Minho's waist. "Come on baby. You're almost there," you felt your pussy tightening around his dick as he pumped in and out of you. "That's it. Cum for me like a good girl," he groaned as you panted breathlessly.

You were just at the point where you were about to cum when Minho lifted you up and began drilling you as you squirted all over his abs. Minho pulled you close as his dick twitched inside of your pussy.

Feeling drained but relaxed you weren't ready for what Minho wanted to do next.

Minho dropped you on the bed and turned you over. Your ass was up in the air facing him as he gripped it before hammering into your pussy from behind. "Ugh. I can't get enough of your perfect fucking cunt," he hummed. You could hear the sounds of your skin slapping against each other as he fucked you.

Your legs quivered as you were getting ready to cum again. Your moans were muffled by the bed sheets. Minho pressed your head into the bed as he faintly moaned from behind. "Ngh, fuck. You feel so fucking good." You could tell Minho was reaching his climax as the speed increased even more.

He pulled your body back, gripping one of your breasts in his hand, while the other wrapped firmly around your throat. "Ngh," Minho whimpered as he filled your pussy.

❤️‍🔥

You and Minho fell down onto the bed before lying lazily under the covers. "We can go again in the morning if you want," Minho said kissing your cheek. "You just gotta get up early," he continued before caressing your face. "Then we can fulfill your fantasy," he smirked.

You agreed to some steamy shower sex before the two of you fell asleep, naked and wrapped up in each other's arms.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

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[vaguely-concerned]

I think the most defining thing about kremy as a person is that he desperately wants to be a man with a mustache -- while being physically, biologically incapable of producing hair follicles lol. like no wonder he takes to drag so much, that's basically most of what he's already doing with his outward identity! and the physical aspect of that is smaller, I feel, than what he's got going on psychologically. he's someone who doesn't want to be -- can't be? -- who and what he is, and who can't be what he wants to be because what he wants to be doesn't really exist, so he lives his life somewhere on the border between them. the almiraj might be no mirage, but the perfectly clever and charming and utterly untouchable version of kremy that kremy would like to be -- instead of the vulnerable neurotic mess of longing and fear and striving for control he clearly actually is -- absolutely is, I'm afraid. it's just a shadow on the wall with nothing real to cast it.

(all of this also goes into the many Gender and trans readings of him too, of course! men will say they’re fighting demons and the demons are trying to live up to a very specific brand of toxic masculinity they've sort of invented for themselves lol)  

the one deep down entrenched assumption we see kremy make again and again especially interpersonally is that if he's open with who he really is and what he feels or thinks at any given time, he would be revealed as fundamentally unacceptable and at best discarded and abandoned, at worst endangered. (it's literally spelled out with the cyclops in the witchlight carnival, but you see him go through this process all the time through the rest of the story too! being unable to lie or dissemble was a catastrophic event in this dude’s inner landscape. I’m sure that means nothing) and because he is also frequently kind of awful this assumption may not be entirely off base some of the time lol (deeply affectionate), but I think it comes from a much deeper place than that. kremy is ashamed of where he's from and who he's been -- that dirt poor wide-eyed kid from the swamp who saw all the fancy gentlemen in town and Wanted. wanted to be that, wanted to have that power, probably some confused sexuality want mixed up with it all as well for spice. wanted more than anything, perhaps, to BE something, because next to that he feels like nothing. which means abandoning the earnest kid who guilelessly loved unicorns and his meemaw and cooking without meaning to impress anyone and silly soft things in the swamp he came from while he went off to the big city and modeled himself after men like garou. (and his relationship with garou surely also had some effects on just how shifty he's become at intimacy too, aside from the building a facade of it all, that might be some secondary damage that was not his fault nor in his control at all)

even when he's acting seemingly shamelessly, he is fundamentally a shame-based psychology, is what I'm trying to get at. the only times he lets his thoughts and emotions out into the world unfiltered is when he's brought to a point of frustration where he throws up his hands and abandons manipulation or subtle machinations as an interpersonal tactic -- see: the several times he argues something with frost or gricko and then finally admits 'I literally don't actually care about this! you guys figure it out and deal with this if it matters so much to you I'm going to bed ffs' haha. his depression shines through when he’s too tired to hide it, especially in the later episodes. every open emotion is an admission he really didn't want to make and thinks is tactically disadvantageous for him. (and sometimes when he's being really for real he'll even admit to being worse than people gave him credit for, like when he admits he suspected mr. witch and mr. light were capable of doing something really really bad to torbek and handed him over anyway. kremy being that blunt and open is like. remarkable and also a sign that he's actually taking it seriously, for all that he's also revealing himself to be even more of an asshole than previously suspected lmao. that's not nothing, for kremy. BUT at the same time he is also the person who cried to see a unicorn broken and abused, and who saw something in gideon upon meeting him that no one else did or cared to at that time and offered him genuine companionship and support — as the story goes on he’s starting to admit to more things about himself, the bad and the good.)

all of which of course also is why he's having such a hard time being honest with gideon about how he feels (and the sheer immensity with which he feels it too, probably) -- that's incredibly vulnerable for a person who’s built himself up around the idea of never being vulnerable. ('i'm just a shadow, nothing you do can really touch or hurt me.') And yet if there’s peace and redemption to be found for kremy, if only within his own soul, between these versions of himself, I feel that discovering and accepting his own capacity for loving someone else so much that it transcends all selfishness or fear would be integral to it. (he loves gideon. So much it makes me a bit dizzy you guys)