#the fuckor of it all

[beaft]

platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you

[charmspoint]

I had an experience today and Peter offered to draw it

shame is dead

This was drawn by my brother @megacarapa very talented very amazing

[chiangyorange]

brain on da the chain visit aoc timeline while wild is away for totk

[dramatic-dolphin]

also, having been asked things like "what are your pronouns" and "do you read fanfiction" i feel read for filth today

[ragsy]

I've now seen exactly two episodes of dungeon meshi and damn, yeah, okay, fine, yeah, alright, yeah,

The other day I casually mentioned to my friends that I feel like I'm contractually obligated to cosplay chilchuck dungeonmeshi (I haven't watched or read it, i just know him from many of my mutuals' blorbo microwaves) and the moment I said it the entire car went silent until one friend started going "of course... it all makes sense!!!!" like a TV detective who's just figured out who the twist serial killer was

what does this mean

[beaft]

sometimes my friends will say to me, "hey, eliot, you should watch/read/listen to this piece of media. there is a man in it who i think you will really like." based on the calibre of men they recommend, i have decided to start classing this as a microaggression.

[unofficial-underfell]

The existential funk bit is so real

Like I may only be 19 but my brain genuinely still thinks of myself as a highschool junior when I'm a first semester junior in college.

Every day I agree more with Alphaville when he said "Some are the melody, some are the beat. Sooner or later they all will be gone, why don't they stay young."

Nothing quite like realizing time is passing. Maybe we should both take a leaf out of Ferris Bueller's book...

This turned into far more of a rant/vent than I intended sorry about that

Don't worry, you're just being real. And yeah, it really does feel like that. You'd think there'd be more of a shift, more of a "One day I'll be an adult and my mindset will shift into that" But in reality it's just a slow progression of you taking responsibility of more and more of the things that keep you alive while also figuring out why exactly you're alive in the first place. And pretty soon you realize you know how to take care of yourself, and it's just a matter of figuring out what to do in between the things you need to do to take care of yourself

Learning how to finish tasks and manage the things in your life that have meaning to you, while you're a soul figuring out how exactly the lump of fat and nerves in your brain operates best, and you have more memories and you make more memories and those memories stretch on and get forgotten and get remembered and get distorted and they make the entirety of who you are. Wild There's my rant back it might not make much sense but yeah that's the existential fuckor I've been grappling with lately

[tmasc-confessions]

before this whole discourse about transandrophobia, I can be sure I'm safe around other trans people but now I no longer do and I'm trying to stay away from social media. the fuckor of it all is I live in a country where being gay is criminalized and I can't even express myself or feel safe even on online spaces and it feels like I'm slowly being killed. oh, and there's a civil war and conscription happening and isn't it wonderful that people from developed countries are debating whether you are actually discriminated against while you're thinking about what to write in your will just in case you die or get bombed tomorrow. I'm sick of it all.

.

[syn4k]

writing fanfiction is easy as fuck lmao all you have to do is copy the characters' dialogue straight from canon [you click on my avatar] [i am at 10 HP and under poison, slowness, nausea, and Fuckor effects] [-1hp] [-1hp] [-1hp] [-1

[gumy-shark]

i want all my beloved mutuals followers and random strangers to know that at any time you are free to come into my inbox and unleash a wave of fuckor unto me

[tennaoss]

bro is devouring all my brain cells

literally haven't drawn a human in over three years just for this fuckor

live laugh love aventurine

[chiropteracupola]

Oh Won’t A Handsome and Charming Young Rebel Come And Fish Me Out of This Damp and Wretched Situation :(

SOAKING FUCKING WET

[rosebleue]

The other day I got a "you seem to love characters who are widowers" and like. The fuckor of it all.

[essayofthoughts]

16, 22, 30 for the writing ask!

Ooh, thank you!

16. Are one-shots really underrated?

I have a mixed opinion on this. Because on the one hand, purely by statistics and how chapter releases cause more eyes on a fic, and more bumps to the front page and more chances to be seen and those higher numbers make it likelier for more people to see it, etc. etc... yeah I would say they're underrated? On the metric of kudos and bookmarks, oneshots fall behind because of that lack of opportunity. A lot of people look at the wordcount on a oneshot (usually in the 1-5k range, if not less) and just go "well that's not long enough for me" and, in my opinion can miss out on some fantastic character study works because of that!

But. There are people who prefer oneshots. Who know that you can get some razor-sharp, needle-precise character studies out of oneshots, who know you can do some fucking insane and incredible things in a properly, precisely done oneshot in much the same way that we all have one or two short stories we read as a kid that completely fucked us up, right? So there is an audience for oneshots and they can be insane about them!

But again, as someone who started out writing oneshots, as someone who spent several years writing nothing but oneshots and who has since shifted to writing longer fics... it is my opinion, based on my experiences, that yes, oneshots are often underestimated. Once they fall off the front page, you get significantly fewer kudos, and even then continuing to get kudos varies drastically depending on the size and liveliness of the fandom, whether you wrote popular tropes or characters-

If you're a fan of a niche character or tropes, you will often have your desires filled by a oneshot. Sometimes you will read a oneshot that reads your faves (and you for liking them) so well you can feel the fuckor rise in your body.

But those oneshots always fall to the bottom of the fandom pile, because people gravitate towards longer fics.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

I'llllll be honest, I don't know. Because I'm not a huge shipper and even when I do dip into ships (or get dragged in a la Perc'ahlia), what I want to see in each new fic is... some new aspect of the relationship? I like when a new AU or a new fic, shows me something specific about the dynamic I haven't seen before, or haven't had a chance to explore before - writing the same old fluff doesn't do it for me, and nor does reading it. I do enjoy fics with the characters already together, seeing permutations of how things could develop, but it's the something new that keeps my attention, it's the development, the change. If I'm just watching the same relationship over and over again... it gets boring, frankly. I don't understand the appeal. It's not for me.

I enjoy the crunchy parts, I enjoy when a fic - of any kind! - reveals something new about the characters to me, or explores something in a light I hadn't considered before. But to me, that doesn't have to be about a ship falling in love, it can be about any character, and honestly my favourite thing to poke at isn't necessarily their interpersonal relationships (though that can be a consequence) but their trauma. (On that note: what is it about watching the same idiot get traumatised over and over again? Geode method. Watching them break over and over again reveals new aspects of their underlying nature, even when you disagree with the interpretation because it forces you to think about why you disagree.)

Anyway. I can't speak to hardcore shippers, but for me, I enjoy how, when it's done right, it can reveal new aspects of character or make you think more deeply about old ones.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

I don't like didn't. Because sometimes I did and then became a perpetual WIP or unfinished fic, and sometimes the attention drifted and I'm gonna return to it, I promise!

But I think if I had to pick it's my MCU Shape of Water AU, where Bucky's the Devonian (recovered from the Soviets), Wanda's Elisa (mute after gaining powers), Natasha's the Soviet spy, Obie's Strickland, Pietro's the gay painting neighbour - I could go on.

I want to get to it! I want to! I wrote two chapters or so! And then I got distracted by MCU going to shit and falling into Critical Role hell, so... it's sat in my WIPs folder, untouched.

[alexbkrieger13]

Yea I think The Arsenal - United game will be the most "interesting", the other games should have pretty clear results. Which can of course be good, depending on who one supports 😅

Lyon vs PSG is also today. Won't be watching, because other games are also at that time, but still interested in the result.

Yea United Arsenal could be either a one-sided victory early on or a chaotic multi goal draw for all we know. Definitely gonna be a game for the neutral

yea Lyon vs PSG are either boring as fuckor absolutely pure chaos so probably won't watch it from the beginning but if it starts getting spicy I will tune in

[incognito-lionbeast]

RE: Shen Yuan’s family (ft. mentions of loss & grief)

Initially, I thought it was strange that his family members were mentioned maybe a handful of times throughout the entire novel & never in any particular depth? I sorta wrote it off as One Of Those Things -- something that’s not really relevant to the plot, so it’s just kinda hand-waived (which isn’t uncommon in the media I’m typically into). So, I left it alone for a while.

Later, upon reading meta posts about Shen Yuan’s past life here, I got to thinking about it more... and while I agreed with many points I saw, it always bothered me when folks used how Shen Yuan seldom mentioned his family / never seemed all that upset about losing them as an example of how miserable & depressed he was before he transmigrated.

--like it was one of those things that I felt very strongly that they were wrong about, but didn’t have the words to articulate why.

Until I was abruptly smacked with Extreme Fuckor™

It felt wrong to me because that’s how I experience[d] grief RE the loss of immediate family. It looks an awful lot like avoiding it, not thinking about it, going about your life as normal, and when you do think about it--for as briefly as you’ll let yourself do so--it feels like:

A “slight sorrow” to immediately be replaced with something as a distraction, because God Damn It. Now isn’t the time. And it’s never really the time. Not to get too real, but eventually you become so good at Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlbossing yourself that eventually you lose the ability to actually tell whether or not you’re Fine & Normal About It (IE have accepted it & moved on) or if it’s just been shoved into its own little compartment so well that you’re only pretending to be fine/happy/normal. Yet, there’s still no time to unpack that, so we won’t. We won’t.

So, maybe I’m projecting, I dunno. Yet, I can’t help interpreting things that way... which is to say, my point is that I believe Shen Yuan when he said that he & his family were close -- at least he & his siblings were. The even further lack of mentioning his parents reads to me as either He Loved Them But They Didn’t Give Him The Attention He Needed (being the [remarkably depressed] third son with no responsibilities or expectations) and/or it was just a little more complicated. for any number of reasons.

Yet, he always mentions his siblings fondly. So, no matter how unreliable of a narrator Shen Yuan is... he refuses to let himself think about it too hard, because there’s nothing he can do now. He has a new family whom he loves & though he struggles to believe/realise it at times, they love him, too. He’s happy with them.

So, we really shan’t examine the skeletons in his closet nor any of its tightly-packed compartments. No sir. Which is in stark contrast to how he grieved Luo Binghe after pushing him into the Endless Abyss, because he WOULD have to deal with Binghe later & he knew it. The guilt ate him alive. Yet, he still tried denying / avoiding his grief as much as possible, but it’s much harder with the [perceived] looming threat of “This man is going to come back and rip me limb from limb & it’s my fault”

so yeah, I have thoughts >u<