#the focus and the clarity is insane

[strangesibyl]

I think I’ve purged all the fun things to clean-

Recreational items and fixations I’ve moved past

Clothing

Books

Bodycare

Unfortunately, it’s time to do the kitchen

[afterglowsainz]

imperfect for you | oscar piastri

pairing: norris!reader x oscar piastri

summary: you’re too focused on being the paddock’s cupid that you fail to notice your perfect match is right there, on your brother’s teammate

fc: madisyn menchaca

a/n: i’m choosing to ignore all the trouble and negativity surrounding oscar’s win and just focus on the fact that oscar piastri is a formula 1 grand prix winner!!!

—

liked by ynnorris, charles_leclerc and others

f1 the ferrari couple arrives in blue classiness 💙

tagged charles_leclerc and alexandrasaintmleux

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username omg alex’s first appearance in the paddock !!!

username she’s truly one of the most beautiful women i’ve seen

username let’s all thank yn’s mind for bringing these two together 💕

ynnorris my babies 🥹🫶🏽 (liked by charles_leclerc and alexandrasaintmleux)

username still can’t believe if it wasn’t for yn they wouldn’t be together

username i just love when hot people date each other 😍

username and they’re matching too 🥺

liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes and others

ynnorris currently in monaco looking for my next project ❤️‍🩹

tagged landonorris, oscarpiastri, logansargeant and alexandrasaintmleux

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username not her saying she’s looking for a “project” after setting up charles and alex 🤣

username the one and only paddock’s cupid 💘

username it’s insane how she sets everyone up and she’s still single

username the prettiest girl❣️

oscarpiastri you literally posted a pic playing padel, there’s you next project

ynnorris padel is for the weak who can’t play tennis

maxverstappen1 hey!

alexandrasaintmleux charge €10 per tarot reading 🫶🏽

ynnorris alexandra malena your mind is immaculate 🤌🏽

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ynnorris the look from the nosebleeds🩸

tagged logansargeant and friend1

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username why on earth wasn’t she at the garage???

username babes your brother is a literal driver what are you doing there

ynnorris he kicked me out :(

lissiemackintosh shame on you landonorris

landonorris that’s literally fake she just wanted to see how it looked from up there

oscarpiastri i can confirm

ynnorris no one asked you‼️ oscarpiastri

username and who’s that with logan 👀

username omg not another one of yn friends 😭

username she took the paddock’s cupid name too seriously

logansargeant send me that last pic

ynnorris ask friend1 🤭

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oscarpiastri exploring more of monaco🇲🇨

tagged logansargeant, ynnorris and friend1

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username can’t believe he’s moving there

username we lost the game of keeping f1 drivers out of monaco

username not oscar hard launching logan’s relationship 😭

username i genuinely think yn hard launched them first in her last post

username hard launch between yn and oscar when

username no because was this a double date orrr???

username logan and his new gf, no lando, oscar and yn next to each other … hmm …

ynnorris you look cute 🥰 friend1

friend1 youuuu 💕

logansargeant 🤨🤨

friend1 you look cute too ig

logansargeant 😊

oscarpiastri no flirting on my instagram please

ynnorris boooo 🍅🍅🍅

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ynnorris post-beach clarity 🏝

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username the only woman ever

username 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

lissiemackintosh my girlfriend 🥵 (liked by ynnorris)

username obsessed with you

username face card is insaaaane

username oscar is very slow

trentarnold66 damn😍

landonorris uhm 🤨

charlesleclerc 🤨

maxverstappen1 🤨

pierregasly 🤨

lancestroll 🤨

lewishamilton 🤨

ynnorris all of you leave rn.

ynnorris except you lewishamilton you can stay 🥰

liked by friend2 and others

f1gossip some drivers were seen clubbing at monaco this weekend including oscar piastri with a mysterious brunette. yn norris and lissie mackintosh were also at the party

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username who’s the girl with oscar?

username i believe it’s friend2 but i could be wrong

username omg and look who follows her 🤭

username yn once again playing cupid but this time with the wrong guy 😩

username no because i wanted her and oscar to date so bad i thought they liked each other :(

username but look at the bright side!!! she’s been rumored to be dating trent alexander arnold so is not all bad

username i guess 😔

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footballwags trent alexander-arnold was seen recently with rumored girlfriend spending some time at the beach

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username excuse me what

username i thought his rumored girlfriend was yn norris? who is this?

username guys i think trent and yn were never really together

username you think?

username trentyn goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky

username tbh i can’t be mad at this

username same

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ynnorris took a trip down under 🇦🇺

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username OMG GUYSSS THIS IS NOT A DRILL

username so we weren’t completely delusional huh😭

lissiemackintosh can’t believe you’re cheating on me 😔

ynnorris you’re my number one always! 🫶🏽

username she’s so gorgeous i’m speechless

username yn give me a chance pls pls pls

oscarpiastri you’re too much 😍

ynnorris do you want an australian kiss? 😛

aussiegrit kids please

username last pic is peak boyfriendism 🥵

username FINALLYYYYY

[theambitiouswoman]

I have been celibate for 3+ years & I wanted to share how this has helped shaped who I am.

Disclaimer: This is not me telling you what to do with your life and your bodies. It comes with zero judgement. I am of the belief that there is a season for everything, and we evolve into many different people in our life. I would be remiss if I didn't say that I definitely think it's a good idea to practice it. I do believe that psychologically, spiritually & emotionally having casual sex has a lot of negative implications for both men and women. However your beliefs around intimacy are purely up to you. Sex isn't bad, that's not what I am saying, but when you are having sex with someone you are absorbing their energy, and the energy of their past lovers too, so having sex with the wrong person can really ruin you.

Honestly the idea of anyone touching me if they do not meet my needs emotionally, mentally, physically etc absolutely disgusts me. I have never been of the type of let anyone "have me" but even more so now. Remember that when you start treating yourself differently, your perspectives and the things you are attracted to also start to change.

Maybe some girls don't understand this so I am going to say it. You do not have to sleep with a man for him to like you, love you, treat you well, or buy you things. If you haven't experienced this, you may not agree. But this is my reality and the reality of so many others, so yes it is actually totally possible.

I will say that the first year can be difficult but after that it gets much easier cause your mindset changes. I recommend taking that first year to really dive in and analyze your relationships, work on your wounds etc. Feeling lonely is something I see come up a lot, and while human beings are not designed to be alone, you should not feel lonely and that is probably a good starting point to work on with yourself if that is the case.

Anyway, these are some of the changes I have experienced:

1. Greater mental clarity and can focus more on personal goals, career & self development.

2. Reduced emotional turbulence. Creating better emotional balance and inner peace.

3. Realizing self love and self worth come from you, rather than seeking external validation. It reduces stress, increases self awareness & provides identity outside of others.

4. Higher standards, better boundaries. Intimacy is a choice, not a necessity. Being unable to control your lust is a weakness. Understand that falling in love purely through sex is lust, wounds and attachment / abandonment issues, need for validation, insecurity etc.

5. Insane increase to intuition.

6. Gives you control over your body and life. It allows you to be more selective about who you let into their personal space.

7. Increased creativity & passion to channel into art, projects, or other personal endeavors.

8. For those recovering from past trauma or heartbreak, celibacy can be a time for healing and self reflection. It offers the space to process emotions, heal old wounds and rediscover yourself.

9. No energetic enmeshments with toxic souls, which btw you are absorbing all of it. Grosses me out any time I think about it.

10. Even prettier than before (but i'm sure not entertaining toxic men and drama contributes to that as well)

11. People are even more drawn to be because of my strong sexual energy & pure aura.

[20doozers]

★Wet dream★

TW: handjob, whining, whimpering, getting caught masturbating, slight somnophilia, sleepover with bill, dry orgasm, “milking” bill, bath as aftercare, overstimulation, fwb/just friends trope, use of y/n, use of sweetheart, baby, etc.

You were at bill’s place for a sleepover, his parents were out of town and his twin brother Tom was staying at a friends place, meaning you and bill had the house all to yourselves. Candy, movies, snacks, cuddles, etc. the night being filled with giggles and fun, the friendship bond between you two being the only focus of the night besides fun.

Eventually you two winded down, laying in bed and turning on a movie that bill was watching while you laid next to him, slowly falling asleep because you were tired. After you had fallen asleep bill was just admiring you, staring at your sleeping face as you slept peacefully. You were so beautiful. Those lips, those eyes, that skin… gosh, he just wanted to kiss you. But he couldn’t, you two were just friends, nothing more than that, or at least that’s what bill was telling himself.

When he was pulled out of his thoughts he looked down, seeing the tent in his pajama pants along with a small wet splotch of precum due to his lack of boxers beneath his pajamas. Fuck. He sat there silently, debating on whether he should go to the bathroom and quickly get rid of the problem.. but oh, you were so peaceful, and getting up would surely wake you.. He sighed, palming himself lightly through his pajama pants, biting his lips to muffle his moans and whimpers as he tried to quietly rub one out.

Yet that stimulation wasn’t enough, not to mention he was basically ruining his pajama pants. His cheeks were flushed pink and his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he slowly pulled down his pajama pants just enough to pull out his cock, wrapping his pale fingers around his shaft, slowly pumping himself as he whined and moaned, his noises being muffled slightly as he bit his lip.

He was so close, his moans becoming more guttural as his head rolled back slightly, his moans becoming harder and harder to hold back as he jerked off, his hand and shaft slick with precum as he continued. Yet he was shocked when he felt your hand on his wrist, his movements halting immediately as his head shot in your direction.

You laid there almost half asleep as you pulled his hand away from his cock, wrapping your own hand around his member as you very slowly pumped him.

“Y/n… w- what are you doing..?” Bill whimpered, still trying to hold back his moans.

“You seemed like you could use some help, so I’m helping.” You hummed, acting like this behavior was normal as you jerked him off.

“H-hah.. y/nn.. please.. ‘s too much…” Bill whined, laid on his back as you pumped his cock in your hand, milking him with every amount of strength you had. He had came at least 3? 4? 5? You weren’t keeping count, and neither was he, hell he was unable to with how clouded his mind was. There were drips of drool of his chin, tears clouding his eyes, and his cock was covered in cum, so was your hand as you slowly drove him insane with the overstimulation.

“Shh.. you’re okay baby.. one more, just give me one more sweetheart..” you soothed, your hand nothing speeding up as you pumped his member faster and faster, brushing over the tip of his cock with your thumb.

Bill’s 6th and final orgasm came and went, washing over the poor boy as he let out small cries and moans of ‘ow’ and your name. You slowly worked him through his orgasm, softly shushing him as the afterglow of post nut clarity washed over him. His last orgasm had been completely dry, no cum following his orgasm from how many times he had came, his body now trembling as you got up to go get a washcloth and to clean him up.

“Are you okay sweetheart? Did I go to far?” You questioned soflty, his pale body mostly limp in your arms as he trembled, letting you gently lay him in the bathtub which was filled with warm water. He didn’t respond, just giving a small whimper as he shook his head, still overstimulated from the intensity of it all.

You gently kissed his forehead, combing your fingers through his sweat dampened hair as he lay there trembling in the warm bath water. You sat by his side the entire time, even helping him wash his hair and body due to his weakness before helping him out of the bath, draping a warm fluffy towel over him. You helped him dry off and change into some pajamas before helping him into bed as well.

You gently pulled his still trembling body against yours, shushing him quietly as you rubbed his back, his small whines and whimpers being muffled as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

“You comfy baby?”

“Y-yeah… just a bit cold..” bill murmured, his body shivering as you kissed his head. You reached off to the side to turn on the heating blanket draped over his bed, turning it on so he could be warmer.

“That better?” You questioned softly, bill murmured a quiet ‘mhm’ before yawning, cuddling further into you as you two laid there.

Maybe you two were more than “just friends”.

AHH! I’m pretty happy with this one, it’s a gn!reader fic and my second smut ive written. Yes I reused the top images i couldn’t find more😔 love you guys💕💕

Tags: @itsmealaiah @madzandmore @cherry-rawr @jkloserdazai @goreishgorinthgoreofshits

[shotmrmiller]

im ngl i've been driving myself insane with the thought of harboring Ghost in your home. Like in the 09 mission The Hornet's Nest where Roach falls off the one roof?

Yeah, make that Ghost and there's no other choice but for the guys to leave him behind. The LZ is too hot, the enemies are swarming like moths to a flame.

The floor comes to him.

He grits his teeth at the agony, choking back a scream. Ghost just fell off a height that should've broken at least a couple ribs; maybe they did, he doesn't know, there's too much adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He's seeing duplicates, the buildings in front of him blurred. There's buzzing in his head, loud like bees. His chest aches, it burns with the lack of oxygen. His throat feels swollen as he wheezes; each breath feels like shards of glass in his lungs.

The white noise dissipates slowly. His vision realigns, lines and details sharpening. The unseen force that squeezed his throat finally lets go, setting him free from its deadly hold., his chest expanding to the point of discomfort— deep inhale, loud exhale.

Breathe. Focus.

There's radio chatter in his ear— Price snarling at Nikolai to fucking wait, that they can't leave him there in the hornet's nest but even with his vision blurred, Ghost can see that they're getting lit up, and he's not gonna have the entire team blow to bits in the helo over him.

He's just one man, and there's a whole world to save.

There's a searing pain in his arm when he shifts, he can't remember the last time his eyes welled up with tears, but fuckin' hell does it hurt.

His hand trembles violently, and it takes him a couple of tries to finally get his thumb to firmly press down on the button of the radio in the front of his tac vest.

"Leave me! Just go!" he roars.

Price argues back that no man is to be left behind, but Ghost can hear far too many voices in a different language get louder. They'll be killed hovering in the air like that.

"Price! Go!"

The voices in his ear are deafening. He rips off his headset, letting it sit around his neck.

The helicopter above him disappears.

Good.

The avalanche of footsteps gets closer and with a strangled noise that scrapes the back of his throat, he moves. Move to safety, get away from them, hide.

Ghost pushes forward until he stumbles, falling onto one knee— using his injured arm to stabilize. White hot pain licks from the wrist up, flames threatening to consume him whole.

A few stray tears escape the corners of his eyes.

He's too blinded by the throbbing in his body to realize that someone is grabbing his other arm.

"Can you hear me?"

Ghost thinks he might be hallucinating your voice. His agony is transcendent.

"Hey! We don't have much time!"

He turns his head to his left, and there you are. A civilian, by the looks of it. And you're trying to lead him away. Where? Are you leading him to a trap?

"Quickly! They're almost here! I can hide you, but you need to get on your feet!" you piped.

Ghost gets up without a fight, decision-making dulled by everything he's feeling.

"Come on, this way!" Your hand grabs his forearm tightly as you drag him away. He trudges behind you, breathing ragged.

Clarity comes and goes, but then he feels your small palms push him forward, into your tiny home.

His eyes drag as he takes in his surroundings. A tiny television in the living room to his left, and an ugly brown couch placed in front of it. To this right is your kitchen, food still steaming on the stove, and a scratched teak dinner table with just two chairs sits by a dirty window.

Quaint.

"Okay, okay. They shouldn't come in here, but if they do, I want you to go to the bathroom and sit in the tub with the curtain closed. Understand?"

His chin tips forward unbidden.

"Good. Uhm, I saw that your right arm is injured. A makeshift splint will have to do, alright?" You briskly walk away, opening the cabinet underneath the kitchen sink.

Ghost stiffens, swallowing thickly. If you pull anything underhanded, he's going to have to kill you.

The tension melts from his shoulders when he sees that you're simply pulling out a first aid kit, and some other stuff to wrap his most likely broken arm up.

You pull out a chair before opening the kit. "Sit. I'm not standing while I do this."

He huffs but complies. "Yes, ma'am." Unafraid to order a stranger around. How peculiar.

The minutes drag on, each one more agonizing than the last. It's a relentless cycle of pain... until it finally stops. The residual pain makes him dry heave.

"Whoa there, please don't puke."

Ghost gives a pained chuckle. "I'll try."

Your fingers tighten the knot in the fabric. "Can't say it's pristine, but it's better than having your arm dangle uselessly, I think." You stare at your handiwork for a second longer, before rising from your seat.

"I'm not sure who you are, but you look like actual military and not a thug with a gun. Did you have a team?" you quietly ask as you put away the medical supplies.

He cuts his eyes to you and doesn't answer.

"Yeah, I suppose it wouldn't be smart of you to blindly give information I don't need to know."

He shakes his head imperceptibly.

"Right. Well, I'm sure you know that we need to lay low, so unfortunately, that means no tv. Sorry." How cheeky.

Ghost simply hums in response.

He looks down at his injured arm. It's wrapped tightly, enough to keep it from moving but not enough to cut off his blood flow.

Not the work of a regular civilian.

You must've noticed him scrutinizing your work because you speak up. "I've worked in the medical field before. Nothing spectacular, but I can deal with a broken bone or two."

He closes his eyes, feeling the exhaustion of the day creep up on him.

So bloody tired.

Ghost takes a breath and opens his eyes. No rest for the wicked, he thinks.

He puts his headset back on, as well as he can with his one arm.

There's a crackling sound in his ear.

[lina-studen]

"something floral": literature student blabbering about the usage of flower symbolism in "nevermore", how it ties to the theme of insanity and a little bit (a lot) about shakespeare.

from lenore's perspective, flowers are closely associated with isolation caused by her trauma and supposed "hysteria". floral pattern wallpaper accompanied her loneliness for days, months, even years. image of the flowers signaled that lenore's position would remain unchanged, that she was stuck, that she would continue to slowly loosing the clarity of her mind.

having torn the wallpaper off the walls, lenore believes that she will never see this image again, but flowers continue to accompanying her. lenore sees them again during her first meeting with annabel lee. and during the last one, too. she may have managed to get out of her lonely room, gain more strength in her legs, find a new friend, but lenore is still trapped. she's the daughter disowned by her parents, a stain on the family reputation that must be hidden forever. the image of flowers doesn't let her forget about it.

similar symbolism is also not alien to annabel lee. episode 66 is interesting in particular, because it directly quotes ophelia's monologue. I'm a big fan of shakespeare, it was he who instilled in me an interest in floral symbolism. a year ago, for a conference on foreign literature, I wrote an article about flower language of "hamlet". it's not available in english, but I'll list down some points that I considered relevant regarding "nevermore".

• rosemary can serve as a keepsake between lovers and also between the dead and the living. it could be seen at both weddings and funerals. in the old days it was also believed to be helpful in mental illnesses treatment.

• pansies, just like violets, symbolize innocence and devotion. ophelia doesn't consider the people around her worthy of violets, since she blames them for the death of her father.

• rue is a symbol of eternal suffering; grieving over her murdered father and the loss of her beloved hamlet, ophelia leaves some of the flowers for herself.

• the image of daisies has a close connection with the concepts of innocence, fidelity and eternal love. in shakespeare's tragedy, this symbol is overshadowed by the fact that in the world around ophelia there's no place for these beautiful things. for "nevermore" the symbol is also not so positive, since the readers are already familiar with daisies. they were on that wallpaper in lenore's room.

it's impossible not to note that annabel lee recites the monologue while in the bath, in the water. ophelia decides not to resist the river flow. her life turned into a tragedy: she was left without a father, her lover has seemingly lost his mind. her own sanity is also called into question. ophelia sings cryptic songs, goes into the field to weave a wreath, gives flowers to other characters. in the eyes of those around them, hamlet and ophelia seem crazy, while being the only sane and honest people among them. there's no place for tender, innocent ophelia in a cruel, deceitful world, so she drowns.

annabel lee also reflects on how both she and lenore are considered madwomen. her meeting with "leo" is accompanied by floral pattern on the annabel's dress. their madness is contextual, they both are perfectly sane, but don't fit into the system that could be leading to real madness with time. "all madwomen die twice. at least twice".

now about the arboretum. it obviously has a lot of flowers, but in my opinion this place is interesting in a different context. lenore and annabel visited the arboretum twice to discuss upcoming plans and such, and there are many parallels, both visual and narrative. not much time has passed since last time, but their situation has changed. they seem to look on their past selves from the upper level, having their conflict more acute now. I'll make a more detailed post about it later.

and now I'll just focus on how the characters in this arboretum full of roses behave as lost and confused as in the phobia-inducing flower labyrinth from earlier episodes. “the closer you get to beautiful flowers, the closer you get to their thorns,” says duke in episode 38. the flower imagery haunting the main characters doesn't let them forget that their sanity is always on a verge of slipping. and once a flower falls from its stem, it cannot be fixed.

p.s. guess which writer’s works I chose for a new article this year?

[ptej1980]

Wading through the Bull 💩 to find your truth….

You know I really should not spend so much time on X. There is a war going on and it is not nice. No one is ever going to convince me that Luke and Nic are not friends, have forced fake PR or that one hates the other. The amount of false narrative that is pushed out to try and convince people is awful. That is why you always wait for more information to find your truth before you drown in the bullshit.

We and the whole world saw a connection like no other. It spurred on a new level of fandom and what I have seen before…literal shipping wars.

The Lukola ship are getting really good at wading through the bullshit. We have weathered the storms and know within ourselves that it is just a matter of patience.

The reason is we have the biggest thing in our arsenal. THE RINGS!! Yes if you are a ring truther and have been following along then you know that the Claudagh designed by Nic with a 3 peak crown was to commemorate season 3, but the hands that hold the heart of the Claudagh also have rings that resemble the ones that Newts wear. These rings Nic had worn consistently in the committed position only changing hands 👀

Ring Truthers Unite!! The ring is still listed under engagement on the website.

The other tool in our tool kit is the Polaroid. Honestly if my boyfriend’s co-star was carrying around a Polaroid of him on their phone we would have words. This is what leads me to believe the bug and Luke were not a thing. She also with Luke on her phone on the end of year photo dump.

Although it is not as obvious to the GA the Audiobook Misdirected was Loud! The amount of similarities and coincidences was insane.

There are obviously many morsels that are less public and sneaky just for fandom. But to help me wade through bull shit and give me clarity I always go back to rings, book and Polaroid.

So as we watch the SAG awards on Sunday remember to focus on what you believe in. Just know I am sat, and sailing on till the end of days.

Happy shipping!! and if you do go on x do not go near the Benophie Stan pages they will just make you cranky.

[neos127]

sim jaeyun x gn!reader | wanderlust

genre. fluff + established relationship wc. 1.1k cw. slightly suggestive notes. title rlly has nothing to do with the fic but the song is what i was listening to on repeat writing this so !

the cold blast of the air conditioner made goosebumps arise on your skin— or maybe it was due to the touch of jake who kept his warm hand on the inside of your thigh. you couldn’t really tell which of those two factors was making you shiver, but the inside of the car suddenly felt chillier despite the heat outside.

jake had parked at a nearly empty fast food parking lot, settled under a light that seemed to flicker every couple of minutes. the stereo played some song you had recommended to jake earlier that day, explaining how it had captured the ‘vibe’ of your late night drives very well. jake decided to test out that theory, having nothing to do that night so he decided to pick you up around eleven.

after finishing you greasy fries and burger the two of you sat in the car in silence, watching cars zoom by on a highway in the distance, basking in each others presence. you had been lost in thought until your boyfriend decided to light every single nerve in your body on fire by resting the palm of his hand on your upper thigh.

“the song is perfect for that late night vibe. you were right.” jake finally spoke, turning to look at you with a glint in his eye. you snapped out of your daze, almost forgetting the words that had just come from his mouth. the man in front of you was so mesmerizing, sometimes he made it difficult to focus.

“yeah…yeah. of course i’m right.” you mumbled, reaching a hand up to push back a strand of hair that fell against jake’s eyes. his hair had grown so long, and you were fond of the way it framed his perfect face and highlighted his features.

“are you okay, pretty? he asked before taking your hand in his free one, placing a lingering kiss on your palm. you sucked in a breath, all of the hairs on your body standing up once again.

“it’s hard to be mentally sane when you’re looking at me like that.” you sighed, the honesty of your statement made jake chuckle to himself.

he then decided to tease you a bit, leaning against the center console of the car, his face inching closer to yours. you backed up slightly, your head lightly hitting the window and you realized that it was impossible to avoid him in the small space. not that you actually wanted to, but boy did jake make you nervous.

“can i tell you a secret?” jake asked, a small smirk creeping up on his face. you shivered (not from the air conditioning) and nodded. jake leaned over the console even more, practically on top of you as his lips ghosted over yours. you sucked in a breath, closing your eyes as you waited for his next words.

“you make me feel even more insane. you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, i can’t believe your mine.” he mumbled, his thick accent making your stomach flip.

“i love you.” you replied, barely getting the sentence out before jake pulled you into a rough kiss. he poured out all of his feelings into it, moving his mouth against yours as if he had been starved of your affection for months. he definitely hadn’t, considering the fact that jake always had to have his hands on you somehow. but whenever he kissed you, he became more desperate and that ignited a fire in your stomach.

you let out a low whine against jake’s mouth which only spurred him on. his grip on the back of your head became tighter, not enough to hurt you but enough to make you see how needy he was.

“i need you so bad.” jake groaned against your lips, barely pulling away before he leaned back in for another long kiss. you began to smile, breaking away from your boyfriend shyly.

“someone’s eager.” you teased, tracing his jawline before doing the same to his plump lips. he let out a sound similar to a whimper, his eyes widening once the clarity sunk in. you began to laugh at him, finding it kind of adorable how desperate your boyfriend was for you. only you could make him feel like that— it was nice to have that affect on him like he had on you.

“um, ignore that. i was possessed or something…” jake spoke up, all traces of his ‘alter ego’ gone as a blush spread across his face. you cooed at his sudden shyness, finding it amusing how jake could be an insane tease only to turn around and become a giggly blushing mess.

“don’t get all shy now. you said you needed me? i’m right here for you.” you shrugged, trying to seem seductive but internally cringing at your words. you and jake often made fun of each other for trying to be ‘hot’, but jake seemed too turned on to really care about that at the moment.

“i love you so much.” he groaned before kissing you once more, pulling you into his lap so he could be closer to you. jake slipped his hands under (his) your hoodie, his warm hands on your cold body made you sigh into his mouth and pull him impossibly closer. the song that had been playing on a loop in the background had drowned out in your ears, the only sound coming to your ears was your rapid heartbeat.

even though you were wrapped up in the feeling of jake’s touch and how his soft lips felt on yours, the sharp beep of a car in the distance made you jump slightly and remember where the two of you were parked. you had definitely seen emptier parking lots in your life, and the one behind a popular fast food restaurant still had a few cars lingering.

“you seriously wanna fuck me in this very well lit parking lot?” you asked teasingly once jake began to leave a trail of kisses against your neck, not wanting to stop his assault on your skin. he pulled away and pouted slightly before looking out the rear view mirror and taking note of the fact that there was an active line at the drive through only a few meters behind the car.

“you’re a mood killer.” he grumbled.

“no— i’m realistic.”

“still a mood killer.”

“jake.”

“y/n.”

the man below you pouted like a child, and you couldn’t help but pinch his cheek and ruffle his hair a bit. he really could get anything he wanted from you— but you’d rather not have your intimate time with your boyfriend discovered in public.

“another time?” you suggested, wiggling your eyebrows as you looked at jake. he smirked slightly as he watched you roll back into your seat, eagerly nodding his head in agreement.

“definitely.”

[petite-anni]

🎀Diets And Challenges🎀

~how to reach your dream body~

There are hundreds if not thousands of diets. Some work better for your body, some don’t. I summed them up for you, so you can choose and try.

Especially now that there are many people trying out challenges like '75 days hard' it is important to find a diet and follow through

First: what is 75 days hard?

~2 workouts a day: one inside, one outside

~read 10 pages of a non-fiction book

~certain amount of hydration (2-3,5l of water, depending on height etc)

~progress pictures

~and most importantly, to follow a certain diet strictly

So here are several diets for you to follow:

1. Clean Girl Diet

~my absolute favorite

This diet is about mindful and balanced eating. It includes nutrient-rich and minimal processed foods and it’s mostly about a whole lifestyle, rather than a strict diet

Here are the key principles:

~whole, unprocessed foods (fruits, veggies, lean protein, whole grains, healthy fats. Avoid processed or packaged food with added sugars, preservatives and artificial ingredients)

~hydration

~balanced meals (protein, healthy fats, complex carbs, fiber)

~Portion Control

~minimal sugar

!~consistency over restriction

2. High Protein Diet

~mainly for muscle build and recovery after training, as well as fat loss

~eat eggs, chicken, turkey, lean beef, fish, Greek yogurt, tofu, lentils

~Limit simple carbs, sugary foods and excessive fats

3. Vegan Or Plant-Based Diet

~improve your digestion and loose or maintain your weight

~avoid: all animal products (that’s it)

~pay attention to the calories, because vegan alternatives can be high in calories, they might make you gain weight when you’re not careful

4. Carnivore Diet

~weight loss, mental clarity, tho it can be restrictive. It’s high-protein, high-fat and consists of animal-based products only

~allowed: Meat, fish, eggs, butter and some dairy (optional)

~avoid: vegetables, fruits, grains and sugar (!)

~Stricter Diets~

-I avoided talking about these because they can reach the wrong community. Yet sometimes there are people who need to loose a certain amount of weight in a short period of time.

~they are meant for a few days only (3 days to 1 week, max. 2 weeks). Make sure to take vitamins to not face hair loss, break outs and other symptoms

1. IU‘s Diet

~breakfast: 1 Apple

~lunch: 1 sweet potato two, depending on size

~Dinner: 1 Protein Shake

2. Suzy‘s 'Time-Limited' Diet

~breakfast: chicken breast and sweet potato

~lunch: brown rice and salad

~Dinner: two sweet potato’s

+avoid eating after 6/7pm

3. HyunAs Detox Diet

~breakfast: a salad with light dressing

~lunch: steamed chicken breast or fish with veggies

~Dinner: smoothie or detox juice

💗these diets focus on clean eating, low calories and high-protein foods. A quick weight loss can cause a regain of the lost weight afterwards or trigger your emotionally.

So I ALWAYS will support building healthy habits and becoming disciplined without insane restrictions.

💗my first advice will forever be the clean girls diet. It’s simple, effective and cleans everything in your life, not only your diet.

!!!become the best version of yourself and for that, your body must be healthy. Food is fuel. It’s not bad and not a treat.

~love you

[boilingheart]

Honest to god?

This was the most sane I've felt in years.

Today's my first stay starting on antidepressants, I hope they don't make me worse LOL

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (5/18)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: Sylus comes across you in the hot spring but desires burn hotter.

Content Warnings: Adult language. Mutual masturbation.

Length: 2500

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18)

Read on AO3

To say that life in the mountain was now much harder for Sylus to stand would be an understatement. After coming into the mountain that first time and finding it filled with scent of your arousal permeating every corner, he did not know how to function around you any longer. Even when you were not aroused he could still remember the scent with clarity, could still hear your voice moaning, and it drove him insane.

He was not angry by any means. No. He was worried that this would end up with him slamming you against a wall and fucking you mercilessly one of these days. He had thought you a pretty little treasure before but now he could not focus around you. The very idea of you was so intoxicating now it made him lose all sense. It was as if that day had unlocked something inside him that he would not be able to get back.

Everything finally came to a head one misty morning when he decided to take a soak in the hot springs. He was halfway there when he caught the scent of you already out there. That would not have been a problem in itself but this time it was not your normal scent. It was your arousal again.

Really, this dragon sense of smell was a blessing and a curse it seemed. Great for tracking food and enemies, and you when you got lost in the tunnels. It was nothing short of a menace now.

Reason told him to turn around and leave. He was already having a problem keeping his wits about him when he was around you now. He didn’t need to tempt the fates by getting closer to you while you were aroused. But did his feet listen to him? No. They carried him right to the hot springs where your nude and wet body was reclining in the hot steamy water.

He stayed in the entrance, claws dug deep into the wall to keep him tethered to reality. You were humming pleasantly, the smell of your arousal getting stronger the more you hummed. He watched for a moment and realized that one of your hands was underneath the murky water. You were touching yourself again.

This constant tension around you had to stop one way or another. And by the hells he was going to see if he could swing it in his favor.

He stood and watched, waited as you worked yourself up. Your eyes closed in rapture as your hand got quicker and quicker. You were close. So close.

Sylus scraped the claws dug into the wall down and your eyes snapped open as Sylus stepped out into the outcropping. Your eyes went wide and you sunk down to your chin in the water. “Oh hello,” you cleared your throat, “I was not expecting you to be out here so early.”

Your eyes drifted down to the towel around his hips. “I um, I’ll leave.” you said.

“There’s no need for that.” Sylus knew he was tempting fate but he could not stop himself. You averted your eyes as he discarded the towel and got into the hot spring with you.

You were keeping yourself pressed against the opposite side of the spring, arms crossed over your chest. Once he was in the water you looked at him again. “Really, master, I’ve been in here for a while. I can leave.”

“If you wish to go you may.” he said.

You looked around, staring at the spot nearby where you had left your own towel. “Um, can you close your eyes?”

“No.”

“Sylus!”

He knew he was getting under your skin when you forewent any title and just called him by his name. It made him grin. “There’s nothing for you to be ashamed about. The naked form is a very normal thing. No one judges the deer for not wearing clothes.”

“That’s because it’s an animal.”

“And so are we. Sentient thought does not excuse that we have instincts. We crave food when we are hungry, help when we are injured, and a companion when we are lonely. That’s about as animal as it gets.”

You groaned. “Well unlike animals, and I guess dragons, humans have a certain amount of privacy when it comes to their naked bodies. So please close your eyes.”

“I will not.”

You huffed, dropping the subject. Seemed you were intent on waiting him out. And all for what? So he wouldn’t see you nude? Granted, he wasn’t sure how he would react to seeing that either but your certain eccentricities were odd to him. Why were humans so cagey about their bodies? It was just another part of their society that he did not fully understand.

“If you’re not going to leave you can lather my hair again.” he said. He watched as your eyes widened, your arms clutching tighter around yourself.

“I’m still naked!”

“And does that really bother you? Do you think I’m going to do something to you?” Well, he may end up doing something to you but he had a feeling that you may not mind all that much if he did. Not if that new wave of arousal that sprang up around you was anything to go by.

“No, but--”

“Then there should be no problem. Come here.” he sent his tail out to wrap around your body, tugging you closer.

You gave a surprised yelp as the water rippled around you as you were yanked. Sylus had to grit his teeth against another fresh perfume of your arousal. You rolled your eyes but he was noticing you liked when he threw you around like this. There was so much he was learning about you.

He turned his back to you so you had some modicum of privacy. You had to sit on your knees to comfortably reach his hair and he could tell that it left the top half of you exposed to the air. All he wanted was to turn around and see more of your body, watch the way your nipples turned hard against the cool air of the mountain wind. Fuck he was salivating just thinking about it.

Deep breath. Control. Don’t scare her.

You grabbed the soap and went about washing his hair like you had last time. Your hands felt heavenly, so soft against his scalp. Fuck! He wanted to feel your touch all over his body.

Without thinking he leaned his head back against you, his head resting on your chest. He could hear your heart hammering behind his ear. You did not stop. Your hands moved further up and around the area of his horns. He took in a deep breath, the sensitivity of it rocketing down his body straight to his cock. It was a good thing the water was so murky so you couldn’t see how hard he was right then. It was made no better that with every small sigh of pleasure that escaped him your arousal grew. It made his head foggy with want. If he wasn’t careful he was going to do something reckless.

He needed to get a handle on this before he snapped. “It has come to my attention that despite the freedoms I’ve given you, I’ve still deprived you of something.” he said.

You tilted his head back to rinse out his hair. “What are you talking about?”

“Then again,” he continued, trying to control the growl in his throat, “you have probably been deprived on if since all the young men went off to fight the king’s war.”

“Can you speak plainly?”

Well, no avoiding it now. Either this was going to go one of two ways. “Do you know that dragons have a unique sense of smell? It is not a myth when people say that we can smell fear. But we can smell lots of other things too.”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“Oh my dear little wildfire,” he grinned, “You want to know what I can smell on your right now? Your desire.”

“What?”

“It is a strong and heady scent. The other day I came back to the mountain and the halls were choked with it.”

“You must have been smelling something else cause I--”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” he turned finally but you had sunk back into the water. “I do not judge. You have urges just like any animal, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I can smell it now. The steam cannot mask it. It rolls off you like perfume.”

He was closing in on you, your back pressed against the wall as he hovered over you. He leaned in close to your neck and inhaled deeply. “Intoxicating. Even now, I can smell it getting stronger and stronger.”

“Sylus…”

“I didn’t let you finish earlier, so you can do that now before you combust.”

You raised your chin high, an effort at exerting some control over the situation. “The reason I am going to combust is because you are talking about this with me. If you knew the entire time, why not tell me sooner?”

“More fun this way. Now, what are you going to do?” he leaned back just enough to look in your eyes, your pupils dilated wide. “Are you going to finish yourself off like I know you want to or are you going to run back to your room? The scent won’t go away any case, not until your body is rid of the feeling.”

He could see you debating. Your knee jerk reaction was to run but that lovely little brain of yours was not thinking rationally. He knew what you wanted. He knew the idea of it intrigued you. You wanted to touch yourself. You needed to touch yourself and it was driving you mad.

“I…I will do it myself. But you have to leave.” you turned your face away from him.

“Why?” he grabbed your chin and pulled your face back to his.

“Because I’m not touching myself while you are watching!”

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked. More pleasure rolled off you and his eyes slipped closed as he inhaled it. Fuck he was so hard. “The idea intrigues you.”

“Stop sniffing me!” you shoved his face away.

“It’s impossible to not smell it.” he grabbed the hand that had been shoving at him and gave a small bite to your fingers. “Now, do you want me to touch you or are you going to do it yourself?”

“You think I’d let those claws anywhere near my cunt?” you eyed his hands.

“Oh that,” Sylus concentrated, the armor and claws around his hand retracting to reveal a normal human hand. Fucking hells. There was a reason he never did this and it was because it hurt like hell to do. But if it meant that he could sink his hand into your pussy it’d be a pain worth enduring.

You watched the claws retract into the armor of his arm and your brow furrowed. “If you could do that this entire time then how come I’ve been washing your hair?”

“Because it takes a lot of energy.” You didn’t need to know how badly it hurt to do. “But this isn’t about me, this is about you. Now answer the question. Are you touching yourself, or are you going to let me?”

You ducked out from his grasp and pressed yourself against the opposite wall. You were facing the wall so your back was to him and he worried for a moment you were going to leave. But the smile nearly split his face when he saw one of your hands disappear under the water.

Brave girl.

For a minute he indulged in basking in the scent and sight before him. Though you were facing away he could see the way your muscles flexed as you drove yourself higher. You tried biting them back but you couldn’t stop the hums and small gasps of pleasure.

Sylus could not take it any longer. His cock was aching to be touched. So he took himself in hand and began to stroke himself, all the while watching you.

He groaned aloud as his cock finally found some relief and your head turned to look at him. He caught you looking and you tried to turn back around but he wasn’t losing this too. “Don’t turn around. Look at me.”

You glanced back at him. “That’s an order from your master. Now turn and face me.”

If you had disobeyed he would have been disappointed but he would not press it. So he was so very pleased when you did turn around. One arm was slung over your breasts while the other played with your pussy. All the while you kept looking at him. Your eyes darted down to the place in the water where he knew you could tell he was stroking himself.

The scent of your arousal was so strong he wondered if it would permanently stick to him. You were getting close. And knowing that he was watching you pleasure yourself only turned you on more. He wanted to say something. Encourage you. Tell you to keep going until you finally came. But he kept it back. Another time perhaps.

Your attempts at hiding your pleasurable moans had dissipated and you let the free into the air. Sylus wanted to swallow each and every one. He gritted his teeth, the end almost upon him but he’d be damned if he came before you did.

Your breathing got shallower and your head tilted back, eyes closed as you neared your finish. You had stopped trying to protect the modesty of your breasts, instead pulling and pinching at the sensitive material of your nipples. He imagined taking one of those breasts into his mouth, teasing the nub himself with his tongue until it was a hard peak. Then he’d pull on it with his teeth and watch how you moaned and squirmed for him.

You covered your mouth, muffling the final sharp cry as you came. Sylus was not far behind and he came just a moment after.

You were slumped against the wall trying to catch your breath, your body shaking slightly in the aftermath. By the hells your were beautiful when you came.

“There,” he said, “Does that not feel better?”

Your head whipped to him, remembering that he was still in here with you. “This--this was an anomaly! It won’t be happening again!”

“If you say so.” he reclined against the wall of the spring, “But if you do ever decide you desire a partner for such activities, I’d be happy to provide such assistance.”

“You--you--” grabbed the bar of soap and hurled it at him. Sylus was shocked enough that he reached to grab it, stretching his arm up high to catch it. You had taken the moment he was distracted and leapt out of the hot spring and ran back inside the mountain.

“Well, that went better than expected.”

[stargazedwinchester]

Casual | Dean

love a bit of chappell don’t we guys xox

i rlly enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy reading it!! this is very much inspired by the song, but not necessarily a songfic :)

CW: mentions of s*x, nothing too provocative

Summary: You and Dean are casual friends with benefits until you uncover the truth about how you actually feel toward him.

Word count: 1,133

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

“I, uh, think I should get you home,” Dean says. The silence is palpable. You feel awkward and like you don’t belong, so you let out a defeated sigh. He’s shirtless, his slight 6-pack glistening with sweat as he attempts to dry himself off with a towel. You felt as if you couldn’t catch your breath, whether it was just from the insane sex you had just endeavoured or Dean’s pitiless words that filled your lungs with regret.

“Okay.” You give up. Each time you attempt to feel a connection with him — a real, deep connection, it’s like he wipes it from his memory as soon as you’re both finished and goes back to reality. Post-nut clarity, if you will.

It’s not like he doesn’t find you attractive. Hell no. It’s his intense lack of commitment issues and mommy/daddy issues that give him such a hard time completely dedicating himself to someone. The hundreds of arguments you had gotten into over the people he had slept with whilst also sleeping with you just gave you second-hand embarrassment. In fact, it was downright wrong it should’ve been illegal.

You manage to tumble out of bed butt-naked, slowly getting your clothes back on ready for the silent drive home. You almost gape in awe at Dean’s silhouette. Heavy feelings weigh down on your heart for someone who doesn’t even think of you in any other way other than for intimacy is so challenging, especially on your own self-worth.

Dean doesn’t say a word to you. He sits back down on the bed and starts typing on his phone. He’s wearing a light grey t-shirt and charcoal grey jeans. The small screen lights up his face and a slight grin slowly appears and your heart sinks. Without even looking, you already know he’s talking to some other bitch, in which he’s probably going to go pick her up after he’s dropped you off at home.

“You ready?” You ask him, breaking the one-way tension in the room. “Yeah,” He says, standing up and leading you out toward the car.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

On the drive home, it’s dark and rainy. The streetlights emit a dim, dusty champagne colour, yet the awkward tension isn’t anything worth celebrating.

“What’re you doing after this?” He asks, not breaking focus from the road. “Probably just go straight to bed,” you reply, shrugging lightly. “What about you?”

“I’m going to go visit a friend of mine,” He coughs, then purses his lips. “She lives about half an hour thataway.” He motions his pointer finger toward the left.

She.

The anger builds up inside of you. After all this time, you had thought that he wasn’t seeing anybody else, that you had only mindfully agreed that this thing stays between the pair of you, and this included sleeping around. What a fucking tool.

“Listen, it’s nice and all that you’re giving me a lift home, but you’re really taking the cake by pretending like you’re not seeing other people.” You lock eyes with him, and his expression changes.

“What, so you’re jealous now? Is that it?” He scoffs, and you freeze up. “So what if I am? We had an agreement that we weren’t gonna sleep with anyone else! We said that!” You start to raise your voice, frustration running right through your blood as it starts to boil.

“I’ve mentioned it to you multiple times before. I don’t understand why you can’t listen to me! It’s fucking gross, Dean! You need a huge reality check because this isn’t gonna last forever.” You wave your finger between yourself and Dean, indicating that whatever it is that you both have going on is at its final straw. He scoffs again, shaking his head. It’s almost like he wants to say something, but bites his tongue. He presses his foot on the pedal, coming to a stop. It’s that sudden you hit your head on the headrest.

“Y/N-“

“I don’t want to hear it. Take me home.”

“Lis-“

“Fucking take me home, Dean. I mean it.”

For the rest of the drive, you’re in silence. Nothing on the radio, no cassette tape playing, not even the windows open to hear the sound of the rain pattering on the windscreen.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

He parks the Impala outside of your house, and since the quietness has given you a second to rethink the whole situation.

“Dean,” you start, and his big, puppy-dog eyes glare at you with regret. “What’s up?” He asks and this time it sounds like it was with genuine concern.

“I have to tell you something before I go.” You state, and he nods, listening.

“The reason why I was jealous is that I’m in love with you, Dean. It’s hard seeing you go away and spend time with all these different people and I just get a fraction of you. It’s unfair that I’ve spent the last year or so falling in love with you and you see me as nothing more than someone to play with.” You pause, then take a deep breath.

“You don’t need to say anything else because I’m done. It’s friends or nothing. If I hear nothing from you within the next 3 days, then I’ll know where your priorities lie.”

You start to collect your bags together and open the passenger door. He’s left stunned, his eyebrows raised, his mouth slightly agape and his eyes showing enough sadness to make you want to apologise for going off at him and then travelling back to the motel for round 2.

You can tell that the cogs are turning in his head, thinking of what to say that would completely win you over. But there’s absolutely nothing that he could do or say that could make you turn back around. You shut the door, but the window is still open.

“Y/N, hold up a sec,” He yells through the window while you’re almost halfway up the path. You turn around and lock eyes with him.

“Please come back, let’s talk about this.” He leans over to the passenger seat, his gorgeous forest green eyes staring up at you.

“3 days, Dean. Prove that you’re not an asshole and I’ll think about it.” You say one last time before turning back around to the front of your house. The last thing you want is Dean never wanting to see you again.

You enter the entryway to your home and make your way up the stairs. Opening up your bedroom door, you take a moment to collect yourself, instead of thinking God, what have I done? You sit proud that you have stood up for yourself against someone who has clearly used you for nothing more than his own selfishness. And if that is the case, well... so be it.

[pininghermit]

Mockery of Errors

Pairing: Alucard x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Alucard's got a personal idiot to save him decade's worth of therapy.

AN: some nsfw vocab so minors dni

"Omg oh no I am so sorry."

Three pairs of eyes stare at you.

"I can get myself out," you mumbled, shuffling awkwardly. Turning to leave through the broken window you entered by, you paused. "Oh crap," you muttered, glancing at the shattered glass and then back at the golden-haired vampire, who you assumed was the owner.

"I can pay for the damages," you offered, patting your pockets frantically. You desperately hoped you hadn't been an idiot and left your purse at home. You studiously avoided looking at the vampire's bare, luminous legs.

Was that… rope? Your eyes widened at the crimson bundle peeking out from under the bed. Great. You'd just stumbled into some bizarre threesome. Just your luck.

The commotion seems to snap the supposed lord out of his shock. Though you desperately tried to avoid their gaze, you heard the rustle of clothes and felt the air shift as the vampire lord moved in front of you. And much to your dismay a sword.

Your spine felt like jelly, but you forced a wobbly smile as you looked up at the ridiculously good-looking vampire lord. It all clicked into place. Dammit! He deserved a good threesome. Insanely handsome vampire lords with deary castles deserve a good bang.

"Now, now, my lord," you began, your voice betraying a slight hitch. "There's no need for that. I assure you, I'm no robber." You mentally shoved aside the very inappropriate picture that had just popped into your head, desperate to stay alive.

"This is all just a…jest, you see? A silly little bet with friends. Terrible timing, I admit, and terribly sorry for the interruption. I can, of course, make myself scarce." You finished with a weak attempt at a conspiratorial wink, hoping it landed somewhere between charming and utterly insane.

You flashed a friendly smile at the, ahem, occupants of the bed, who (to their credit) did a fantastic job of conveying annoyance through sheer silence. You waved awkwardly, but they weren't having it.

"Ahem," the vampire lord cleared his throat to catch your fleeting attention. "Do you know where you stand?" He asked, his voice surprisingly weak. He sounded young...a young adult vampire? They came in all ages and formats you mused internally.

Focusing on his question, you tried to hide the relief of finding a young master instead of a slithering nasty vampire."Ah, my lord," you stammered, "we, uh, my friends and I…had no idea a vampire resided here...the cutesy garden in the back yard had us guessing this castle was looked after a kind granny."

That was not the right thing to say. Apparently, even unageing vampires were vain enough to detest being called a granny...to your credit, his white nightgown was not doing him any favors.

Alucard felt a furious blush creep up his neck. Thankfully, you seemed too terrified to meet his gaze.

The shattered window was a godsend. A distracting agent that prevented acknowledging the scene you walked in on.

He towered over you as you sat perched precariously on the windowsill, inspecting the broken glass with an unsettling focus. "Sturdy stuff," you muttered in approval, completely oblivious to the elephant in the room - or rather, the castle.

Not the damn ropes! Adrian groaned silently. He wasn't easily flustered, but this… this was pushing his limits.

Steeling yourself with the air of someone who'd made a grand decision, you rose to your feet. "My lord," you declared, "I can totally replace this glass tomorrow! No worries. Besides, who carries a purse on a ridiculous late-night dare, anyway?"

Adrian let out a sigh so deep it could rival a tectonic plate shift. Clutching his face in his hands, he squeezed his eyes shut. This, he thought hysterically, was worse than a thousand post-nut clarity moments combined. There was no way he could ever face Sumi or Taka again.

He nods. At this point, he would be better off flying away as a bat and never show up to his accursed castle ever again.

Peering out the window, you mumbled, oblivious to the tension, "Yikes, that's a drop. So, about those ropes…" A collective cringe echoed through the room, the occupants unified in their secondhand embarrassment.

"Just use the damn door!" Adrian roared, his voice cracking spectacularly mid-scream.

And thus, with a shattered window, a flustered vampire lord, and a shockingly oblivious mortal, the future of Adrian Tepes, son of Dracula, took a most unexpected turn.

[theeternalwombtarot]

why are they silent?

message: I’m feeling called to do this reading so I’m doing it. My posting and content schedule was literally all planned out and organized but I am unfortunately the embodiment of chaos however organized so now everything is all jumbled up. I think I’d love to have a little schedule and do all these wonderful things but I don’t believe that it’s really indefinitely the right direction for me to go in. I’m naturally spontaneous, I kind of go against the grain and go my own way all the time naturally and have done so since I was a child and so I think it’s time I live in my reality and find some acceptance here lol. I’m in the process of working through my drafts I have countless readings set up to be written and posted that I haven’t even tackled yet. Well anyways, hope this brings you peace and clarity.

***

i.

Guys, *deep dramatic sigh”, this person has a lot to say. I can’t stop channeling. It’s running through me like water lol. You could’ve stopped speaking to this person, cut them off, or cut them off from your energy all together here. Someone feels like something is incredibly unfair or unjust. They may feel like the world or the most high is against them and they feel like you slipping away from them is a manifestation of what it means to hit rock bottom. But , I don’t see you able to romanticize this, this person, this behavior, their feelings for you (any longer) you’ve expanded much too big or experienced what it means to be valued and you’re never going back there or you simply don’t resonate with this at this time.

channeled:

teenage dirt bag

I smoked away my brain- asap rocky

“Lowlife energy”

Disrespectful/disrespect

Peter Pan syndrome

“I don’t want to grow up.”

Catalyst

Life lessons

“Bigger than me” “you’re bigger than me.” “Larger than life.”

“It’s above me now.” “It’s out of my hands.”

Looking to the moon for answers

666- “a reminder to refocus and find balance in your life.” “a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence.”

777- “linked to self-discovery and personal growth” “a signal to get present with what's going on between you and your significant other”

8891- “centers around personal growth and development”

786- “centers around personal growth and development” “healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being”

**the angel numbers were insane, confirmation on confirmation***

Temptation

“The devil”

Forbidden fruit

Forbidden love

Unrequited. Unrequited love

“Are you finished with me?”

“Can I be your shadow?”

“Within you.”

Karmic cycles

Mirror

“See you again” -Tyler the creator, kali uchis

“Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? Because, I’m about to go to war and I don’t know if im going to see you again.”

“La la la” “ok ok ok”

Feminine/masculine

Opposites

Ends of the spectrum

Redbone- childish gambino

***

Someone is coming to a conclusion about you and about themselves through you. I get mirror energy here this could be twin flame connection that you’re keeping small here. There’s imagery of someone trying to blow out a candle, or a flame that’s flickering and small. It’s not being fed. A fire that’s dying. Whomever this person is, they’re receiving their karma for who they were to you, for not making the right decisions, for being disrespectful, for stumbling through life like it’s a joke. Your spirit guides, ancestors, deities, the divine, stand behind you so fiercely. Someone is feeling some sort of wrath here for who they were to you or what they’ve done to you. I just heard, “you’ll know loss.” Someone is going to have to rise out of the ashes like a phoenix, exorcise parts of them that have kept them stuck, be physically pulled away from karmic cycles and habits. Someone says, “they aren’t learning. They aren’t moving.”

They’re feeling very restless and burnt out here. Someone’s tired of fighting. Someone’s being brought to their knees. “I hear you haven’t seen or felt rock bottom yet.” I even hear an ancestor saying, “watch this.” I’m getting the imagery of very divine and large beings sitting in a row of chairs. Almost like the last supper or the imagery of it and looking down on what’s happening attentively. This person is undergoing large heart chakra openings or having an awakening here. The imagery of the ace of swords gives me the energy of someone pulling a sword from the earth, after it’s been buried for ages. Someone is finally picking up their sword or stepping into their power here. But I see you being completely inattentive to this here. If you’re even reading this right now this is a privilege to them to have you sit and see what it is they’re going through. Someone’s not available and has made themselves unavailable or out of reach.

This person is so stubborn, they’re hard headed, and they’ve sorted planted themselves firmly in their place and have refused to move. They’re obsessed with status or are obsessed with keeping up some sort of facade or reputation to protect themselves or make them appear invulnerable, heartless, reckless and damaging. This person could like to fight, could be someone whose met with a lot of criticism or always is pushing up against or things. Using or manipulating some sort of influence. I see you coming to terms with this person and not resonating with who they are and not seeing any admirable qualities within this person any longer. This person is going to have to fight their way through the thick of the situation that they’ve built for themselves, undergoing inner purging, arising out of karmic cycles, disconnecting from karmic connections in all sorts and shapes.

This person is avoiding making hard decisions and setting themselves apart from others and owning up to their mistakes and actions. Something about this persons lack of accountability may trigger deep childhood wounds within you of some sort or be a pet peeve that you dislike very intensely in others that you now dislike very intensely within them. This person has to make a choice. The right one this time after a long time of playing games with the divine and playing games within the lives of others. They’re going to have to be reborn and undergo immense transformation and change. And this is what is going on. There’s a massive tower moment in store for them they you won’t be there for or won’t be a bystander in. This is for them to experience all on their own. It’s very likely that you may find this persons demise satisfying or be apathetic towards their hard ship at this time, I almost typed heart ship. You may be apathetic toward their internal conflict and heartbreak as well. It’s a long time coming I heard.

Someone is allowing the scales to be balanced out and protecting themselves by being nowhere near this incoming explosion or tower moment. They won’t be stepping in, helping to protect this person from their karma, or hiding this person away from their shadows. I’m getting imagery of the shadow man or Dr. facilliers death in the princess and the frog. This person is so unattractive to you right now. After a long time potentially of being your wish fulfillment and end all be all.

Messages:

“ I’m scared somebody will take you from me.”

“ I let others interfere with our connection.”

“Go back to our spot.”

“I want to call/text you, but I’m afraid you won’t answer.”

“The warmth of your hands keeps my insecurities away.”

“Don’t give my love to anybody else.”

“I was too stubborn to admit that you were my person.”

“I need closure from you.”

***

ii.

everything is okay pile two, you can relax. You may feel tension in your neck, your back, and feel a lack of energy in your legs or have some leg pain. You’re purging energies, undergoing transformation, and getting ready to accept more gifts and more happiness. Make sure you prioritize your rest, your eating and your overall health. The color blue could be significant, beige or light shades of brown, the color white, doves, crows, cats, and spiders. Snakes as well. If you feel lost, answers are on the way. If you feel alone and/or abandoned, spirit is always standing with you and protecting you. Spirit will not allow you to be mislead, be hurt, or be put in situations that will destroy you. Your spirit guides and ancestors commend you. I hear round of applause, whistling, and chants of encouragement. I actually left and took my ass to bed after pile one because pile one’s energy was crazy asl, I actually know pile one in real life. Bless their heart for real. ANYWAYS!!

channeled:

Tangled up in you- the Alton’s

Heart to heart- Mac Demarco

Let’s stay together- al green

Tell it like it is- Aaron Neville

I put a spell on you- Nina Simone

Fade into you- mazzy star

Relaxation

Inner peace

Fulfillment

222 - you’re on the right path. “signifies good fortune in finances, relationships, and career, as well as a reminder to work towards your soul's purpose.” “symbolize balance, harmony, and spiritual alignment” “the time has come for you to be more self-reflective, and focused on the duality of situations”

444 - your spirit guides are protecting and supporting you. “conveys a powerful message of love, support, and guidance from your angels”

22 - “welcome balance, wisdom, and divine transformation into your life.”

12 - “something in your life has been completed, and it's time to turn your attention away from the past and look into the future.”

896 - personal growth & development. “896 encourages you to put your devotion and efforts towards your spiritual passions and interests, in turn, manifesting abundance and plenty into your life”

888 - “positive flow, abundance, and rewards are coming your way.” “Stay open to abundance in whatever form it appears, not just what we expect or want”

8 - infinite possibilities

0 - “the number 0 is ultimately about unconditional love. "The force of love is around you all the time, taking the form of other people, opportunities, and even moments of clarity”

65 - “Angel Number 65 is giving you a message from the guardian angels that your efforts to transform and improve your life are being appreciated by the divine energies.”

100 - “symbol of new beginnings, manifestation, and spiritual guidance.” “aligning oneself with eternity while finding balance between our inner world and outer reality so that true harmony may exist within us.”

110 - “it’s time to manifest your dreams.”

Sleep

Relaxation

Careful consumption of media

Deciding on morals & boundaries

Candles

Journaling

Shadow work

Smoke cleansing

Water cleansing

Detox

Rejuvenation

Chrysalis

Hibernation

Mother Nature

Mother Earth

The Moon

Menstrual cycle

Divine feminine energy

The metaphysical

Inner child

Inner compass

Erykah badu

***

pile two… this person.. this person.. I’m so obsessed. This person is open and genuine. They may have expressed to you so much already but anything their withholding is more and further confirmation of deeper feelings and desire to do more for you and offer you more love and more peace. You may be in a relationship with this person, this gives committed relationship vibes, it doesn’t give situationship vibes, nothing is in the air, there’s no dust kicked up or fog that’s obstructing the clarity of the situation. It is what the two of you say it is, it looks like exactly what it is. It sounds like exactly what it is, devotion. Amy winehouse “love is a losing game” just came on, I have it playing on my tv and I just turned it up because it’s playing so quietly all of a sudden when my volume is already high and everything else was loud and clear.

It kind of gives me the impression that anything within the energy of loss and heartbreak is over and silenced. Spirit is covering your ears and covering your eyes to perspectives and ideas that aren’t in alignment with this connection and the love you share. The song just ended, “tell it like it is” just came on, blaring loud I was like 🫨🫨🫨. This person is a real man or a real woman. They’re ready to love you, to give you everything. They’re asking that you be honest and bare your soul and tell me them how you feel. Pride aside, fear aside. This person loves you beyond the fear and ego. I’m getting sensual energy, it’s deep and it’s passionate lol I feel like someone is squeezing my heart right now. This person applies pressure or they really get you riled up. I’m feeling all of this persons feelings. I hear my heart in my ears, you know those chills you get when you listen to oldies, the blues, or that STANK face you make when you feel something deep in your spirit. This person is in your spirit, coursing through your veins right now lol. I haven’t even began reading through the cards. UGH! Unhand me immediately!!!

This is like an intensely passionate saxophone solo. If this person is silent in any way, it’s because they’re trying to take action in their lives to get themselves in a position to show you how much they love you in a material and physical aspect. They already have laid out so much love for you to have but they want to give you more. They want to over fill your cup. They fill your cup. Your cup is full but I keep hearing “more.” I’m seeing imagery here of a divine masculine giving you everything in his pockets or anything that he has and carries with him. For some of you this is a divine masculine energy. They know your love and devotion isn’t free and isn’t cheap. They’re willing to put it all on the line. They’re even becoming more enlightened spiritually. I see the imagery of the five of pentacles and one of the men on the card is looking up the sky here. This person is looking to the heavens behind you, looking to the divine, to the moon, to spirit. Showing their gratitude, asking for and manifesting success for them to give you, asking for and manifesting safety and protection over this connection.

This person is not undecided about you, they’ve made a decision. They have some self doubt about how well they’ll be able to show up for you or how able they will be to provide you with everything you deserve because they smell your divinity, they wouldn’t do wrong by you, betray you, or give you less than what you deserve. I’m hearing “don’t” by Bryson tiller. This person feels sorry for your exes. This person is ready to give you everything and do anything on your behalf and it only gets more intense everyday. This person is in their bag or about to be, making plans for the two of you, planning a future for the two of you, making decisions and making choices behind you and your influence and your presence in their life. Financial choices, spiritual choices, emotional choices.

This person is thinking of all the things the two of you can do together or build together it’s their primary focus. Any of this persons silence is them exercising self restraint or making room for you or for this connection to unfold and blossom naturally. They want you to feel safe and feel valued despite how passionate they feel or how much they want to envelope you in all of their love and desire. This person is levitating right now. They often feel they have to take moments to pull back and gather up their energy and bring themselves down from a high or an obsessive part of them that feels driven to you.

This person, in their silence, is constantly thinking about more ways to be honest with you, value your boundaries, express their own, communicate their feelings to you. This person wants to earn your trust and your devotion.

messages:

“ save the date.”

“ will you marry me?”

This person is most definitely thinking long term commitment, sees you as someone who could be their wife or husband. Wants to live harmoniously with you and have you for a long time ❤️

“you’re a witch.”

This person feels as though you have so much power over them. They constantly feel your influence. You could be into witchcraft or be into spirituality and manifestation and they believe in your power and divinity wholeheartedly. They don’t doubt you.

“You have so much power over me.”

“Healing my mother wound.”

You could’ve brought to light some maternal issues within this person or opened their eyes to the gravity of a situation regarding their mother.

“Sending you all my love.”

“You have my undivided attention.”

“Open your heart to me. Let me in.”

“Please wait for me.”

***

iii.

This reading is being done in such immensely high and free floating energy. Someone is relaxing into something or surrendering, I’m getting imagery of someone being fully submerged into something warm or something with healing properties or that has the intention of transforming and rejuvenating them and restoring magic within the spirit. I’m getting Steve lacy - infrunami. Someone was hiding in plain sight here or may have been hiding away on purpose but the both of you are being met with true devotion from one another. There’s a lot of passion and longing I’m feeling. Someone misses someone or has plans to come to someone and be near them. Spirit is telling me, “I’m giving you space to miss one another or come to terms with who one another really are and what you meant to one another after a long time of being right underneath each others noses” there’s this energy of truths being revealed, the light or divinity in someone or the both of you being revealed. Someone within this collective may be drawn to pile two or have messages in two piles.

channeled:

Love on the brain - Rihanna

Infrunami - Steve Lacy

Tears dry on their own - Amy winehouse

Mercy mercy - Marvin Gaye

Let’s stay together - Al Green

Wet dreamz - J. Cole

CPR - Summer Walker

Trust - Brent Faiyaz

(There is) no greater love - amy winehouse

Just another interlude- Bryson tiller

Glory box- Portishead

Wholeness

Accepting love

Energy of recieving

Gifts

Divine timing

Divine plan

“Proud of you.”

Appreciation

Music

66 - “a powerful symbol of balance and harmony.”

67 - “you are on the right path and to keep going.” “prosperity and good fortune are on their way.”

68 - “your angels are encouraging you to take a leap of faith and start something new”

88 - “great success, abundance, and prosperity.” “ This number's presence is a positive sign for matters of the heart, often associated with the abundance of love and blessings.”

99 - “spiritual growth and awakening” “it confirms that your bond is based on mutual respect, understanding, and love. But, there's always an opportunity to enter a new phase of even deeper connection.”

600 - “Your material security and wellbeing are protected. Balance, harmony, and stability in your relationships. Spiritual growth and higher understanding.”

666 - “ a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence”

789 - “number centers around healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being. It serves as a reminder that it's important to make sure your emotional, physical, and spiritual health are all taken care of.”

884 - “ a powerful reminder that you should stay open to what life brings your way. It's time to trust that everything is happening for a reason. The angels are reminding you to stay in alignment with your heart and soul. If you do, the universe will aspire to bring you what you need.”

200 - “conveys a message of hope and optimism for your future endeavors”

211 - “guides us to maintain balance and harmony within our relationships.” “a positive omen that learning to trust yourself will set you free”

Equal give & take

Space to be yourself

Satisfaction

Overcoming fears

Emotional stability

Messages/calls

Abundance

Self-care

Singing

Throat chakra

Chakra activation

Kundalini activation

Intense physical & emotional intimacy

Support

Devotion

Red roses

Vinyl records

1970s

History

***

This person is carrying with them a lot of emotional stress and burdens here but I also see them carrying themselves almost. Like they’re trying to hold themselves back from coming face to face with you on a deep and personal level. This person is having hard time and is tired and a little burnt out from feeling as though they have to suppress their devotion or their love for you. This person is incredibly attached to you as well as sexually attracted to you. They may hide from you or try to create space between the two of you so that you won’t see just how much they like you or how much they want to be with you, how much they want to be intensely intimate with you. This person overthinks a lot, they’re an anxious person and they’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of you or disappointing you. This person also feels like they might inconvenience you greatly by being authentic with you due to past connections and heart break that made them seem or feel like they weren’t important or valued or weren’t owed loyalty or devotion because of the way they were when they they showed up honestly. This persons needs weren’t met and their nervous system is in overdrive trying to overcome their fear of being close to someone again despite how much they love they hold for you in their heart.

Someone in this persons past may have gaslit them or told them that they weren’t as special as they advertised themselves to be or that their love and support wasn’t genuine or wasn’t worth fighting for or sticking around for or their portrayed this to them through actions. This person has been tired, carrying a lot of tension in their bodies, or are burnt out from how much energy it takes for them to keep themselves from you. Heard the worst by Jhene aiko, not necessarily the whole entire song but “I don’t need you but I want you.” And “I don’t mean to, but I love you.” But this person, they’re afraid, because they think that they love you but are afraid to tell you or reveal their love to you through words and action. This person feels as though you’re meant for them and they constantly feel the need to apologize for pushing you away or holding off from you out of fear.

This person adores you, they care for you genuinely, and they feel they’ve been blessed with and given divine love. You may come as a surprise to this person, you catch them off guard, or appeal to them in a profound way due to past experiences. I hear this person hoping and wishing that nothing takes you away from them. This person is in a constant state of healing and transformation in order to accept you. Manifesting their fear away, taking steps to let you see them, practicing putting down their weapons, leaving their past in the past, and breaking down the walls they’ve built around themselves in order to call and manifest true love and now you’ve arrived and the walls are ready to come crashing down. This person is reprioritizing things within their life as well. They could’ve had to shift into their dark feminine energy if this is a feminine energy. This person could’ve had to remove people from their lives, undergo a lot of purging, awakening and healing in order to put themselves in their divinely ordained position to receive love and love themselves.

This person is coming to terms with the fact that the worst is over and they won’t have to fight anymore and that they can fall into you finally and be taken care of and loved correctly. They’re in the process of coming to terms with the fact that the past is in the past and they no longer have to revisit it or hold onto it. That they’re safe. That nothing else can harm them any longer.

messages:

“Every song reminds me of you.”

“You taught me what real love is.”

“Divine masculine.”

you represent true masculine energy to this person. True divine masculine energy. Especially if you identify as the divine masculine within this connection.

“You have a lot of heart.”

“Lover.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t understand my feelings.”

“Forgive me.”

“My souls purpose is to love you & be loved by you.”

*double confirmation about spending time apart.*

***

Hope this served you right and brought you Justice and true clarity! I enjoyed curating this reading, thank you for co-creating my reading by being apart of the beautiful collective, by loving my work, by being patient with me! You are so loved and valued. ❤️!

[thetormentita]

all or none (prelude 1: sunshine on my back)

Hold on to what you have and never let go.

Pairings: Original female! Character x Bill (platonic), Original female! Character x Frank (platonic)

A/n: the first of two preludes! Wanted to make it quick to get into action asap. Here let’s say it covers about 5-10 years in Charlie’s life and will directly be connected to the second prelude. Promise there won’t be as much drabbles 🙈

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, domestic bill + frank

Rating: Mature (+16)

Tagging list: @maegelletargaryen @daryltwdixon @mmkkzz

A week before outbreak day

“What the fuck is that?”

“Cookies.”

“What for?”

“For you.”

Silence. His eyes scan her searching for any kind of threat hidden behind something so stupid as a bowl with cookies.

“Don’t want ‘em.”

“Then you’ll miss the best cookies in the world. Maybe they are right and you are a crazy person…”

…

Seven years after outbreak day

She sits by the porch with a box of screwdrivers and an old radio-cassette, frowning, the tip of her tongue sticking out between her lips in concentration as she fidgets, the blasphemies long lost after that stupid crock decided to not work anymore while she was sweeping the house.

“Gonna fix it before dinner.”

“You better focus on other stuff instead of that damned boom box!”

Bill is not comfortable with the radio, nor with the record player, but from time to time some Hank Williams or Linda Ronstadt can be heard from where he is, mostly keeping the music for when he is around the house, always with the insane idea that the music may attract any wanderer or any infected trying to pointlessly cross the myriad of traps and barriers he has set during the years they both have passed as the sole habitants of that wretched town.

A noise calls her attention, making her loose the grip on the small screwdriver and almost scraping her hand with it. The advantage of not having any kind of music around is that in that sunny afternoon every sound echoes in the empty streets, bouncing off the worn buildings with eerie clarity. Leaving all the gear by the porch she quickly stands up, her feet taking her to the entrance of the basement, where after a moment to put the damned code Bill insists on having despite being only the two of them she gets to the screens of the CCTV, searching the camera that may have catched the source of noise. Her heart races as she scans each screen, eyes darting from one to the next.

“Charlie! How many times I’ve to tell you to not leave yer junk around, for God’s sake?!”

“Shut the fuck up and c’mere!”

Bill doesn’t like when she bites back, and he is already grumbling something she couldn’t care less about when he reaches where she is, his bushy eyebrows raised when his eyes land on the live image she points on the screen.

“Southwest. Number 21.”

The hole. The silliest trap of them all has caught something—or somebody.

She is biting the inner part of her cheek when she notices him taking a rifle and the portable scan before running up the stairs, forcing her to chase him down out of curiosity, hoping that it is not just another infected or, if it is, that it has something interesting on it.

As she leaves the big white house with the creaking fences that she has learned to call ‘home’ she picks up the old revolver she uses to carry with her whenever she is alone —one of the lot of Bill’s paranoid rules— and she checks the ammo in it as she walks, her boots stirring little dust clouds on the ground as she walks, a side effect of the damned drought, strange for Spring. Knowing she is quicker than Bill, she takes a shortcut by the fence, climbing it up and rushing to the trap, the gun loaded as she walks, always cautious, her hands holding it as Bill taught her the first time she got to put her hands on a gun.

In the hole is a man, standing up, clearly a survivor for the looks of him. The first question that comes to her mind is where does he come from.

“Oh, hi” she says, her eyes scanning him.

As he turns to face her, Charlie decides that he is not a bad guy, his stance more the one of a man who is clearly not ready to fight.

“Hello there” his eyes observe her and a soft smile curves his lips, a part of it reaching his eyes and framing them with little wrinkles by the corners. “Can you help me, please?”

If there is a rule that she is complied to follow is to have Bill check on every single trap in cases like that one. Always the guardian, the paranoid. But something in his demeanor makes her want to bend the rules just this once.

“Are you armed? If so, you better throw all stuff out of the hole. Don’t wanna have the loon take it from you by force… Consider it a turnpike.”

“Got no guns with me. I was in a group, we got split and the rest died. Guess I got lucky.” He shrugs his shoulders, and Charlie starts having doubts about him by the time Bill reaches the fence. “Name’s Frank. I would shake your hand but—”

“Kid! Get outta the fucking trap!”

She lifts her gaze, seeing Bill stride toward them, his expression a blend of annoyance and concern. Despite all the conflict between them along the years they have lived alone in the town, they still care for each other, and that is something none of them would never deny. Bill is approaching them with the rifle trained on Frank, prepared for anything. “Easy, dawg,” Charlie calls out calmly, eyes still on Frank. “He’s alone. Looks harmless to me.”

…

Frank charms his way to the house, and Charlie lets him do when after a really needed shower followed by a roasted rabbit with veggies on the side both men find themselves by the old piano, kissing in a way that Charlie has only read about in classics, with a tenderness and depth that leaves her breathless. Though they've known each other just a short while, there's an inexplicable connection binding their souls together.

“Go to bed, kiddo.”

By the morning she wakes up only to find Frank already roaming around the kitchen, his kind eyes observing the place, like wanting to get all familiar with it.

“Mornin’.”

He greets her with a soft smile, quickly asking her what does she want for breakfast, and that sole question makes her heart race with a warmth she's scarcely felt before. Possibly nobody has asked her something like that before.

“Guess you’re gonna crush here, huh?” She says as she takes a bite of the scrambled eggs Frank has made her for breakfast, the chunk of food feeling strangely comfortable in her mouth.

“Would you like to?”

He takes a sit at the other side of the table, leaving a glass of orange juice for her and another for him. When Charlie shrugs her shoulders he can’t help but scoff as a first answer, trying to decipher whether her hesitation masks a need or a simple lack of words. Not even herself knows if Frank would be a nice addition to their solitude.

“This ain’t my home, I’m not the one to decide.”

He looks at her. She looks at him. There is definitely something in that man that craves for validation, for a place to live and get to call ‘mine’, for living in a group with other people.

“Where ya from?” She keeps eating her breakfast as they start bonding, more worried about the incredible feeling of the food cooked with loving care.

“Baltimore. Southwest from here.”

She nods, taking the glass to her lips and giving a sip to the juice in it. “I know where it is, studied it at school.” A loud thump calls their attention, surely Bill fixing any kind of mechanism of one of the traps. “What’d you do before all went south”

“Was an artist.”

“What kind?”

“Paint, mostly.”

…

10 years after outbreak day

She is reading by the porch when the argue makes its way from upstairs, catching her with her legs hanging from between the wooden columns of the bannister, her eyes devouring for the umpteenth time The Phantom of the Opera. Half hiding her face with the book she observes them go outside, raising an eyebrow when Frank yells a blasphemy followed by something that makes her raise an eyebrow: “we’re gonna have friends.”

Friends. After the outbreak. With Bill. It takes her quite an effort to fight back a snort as the two cute lovebirds finally have a proper fight motivated for Bill’s real self and nothing related to his insane tendency to overprotect the three of them. She observes them with curiosity as she leaves the chandelier plummeting into the audience and forces herself to finally abandon the book when Bill disappears with a quite strong slam of the door and Frank turns around only to place his eyes upon her.

“How much did you hear?”

“Quite a lot.”

“Any clue on why is he being such an asshole?”

Charlie puts a face as she leaves the book next to where she is sitting, clearly enjoying the moment. It is true that she is fond of the man in front of her, but her nature drives her to not take him nor the moustached idiot too seriously.

“What would you have thought of a prepper before the outbreak? I think he doesn’t want to feel it again.” Frank sighs, rubbing the back of his neck as he contemplates her words. “How are you gonna contact anybody? Not that you can butt-dial anybody, dawg.”

A crooked grin appears in his face, half hidden behind his beard.

“There’s a radio I found. Should we try and fix it? There’s still radio towers working across the country.”

Charlie raises both eyebrows with Frank’s answer, clearly not having expected it.

“Cool! Let’s give it a try.”

Before dinner they return home with the radio from the high school and a copy of Death in Venice, The Sound of Poetry, The Bonfire of the Vanities and On the Road, carefully stacking the books alongside the radio on the kitchen table once they arrive home, with Bill still hiding in the basement, probably grumbling.

“Should we make him some dinner?”

“Leave ‘im, he’s a grinch.” Charlie can’t put her eyes off the machine, her curiosity piqued by its worn-out dials and buttons. “He can eat some of the cans downstairs and tomorrow he’ll be normal again.”

And the following morning starts with Bill’s grumbling and the stubborn radio finally giving up and letting them hear some soft static, like a whisper from a distant past. Charlie gently fiddles with the tuner, Frank looming over her shoulder as if the ancient device might suddenly reveal all its secrets.

When the static reveals a voice both of their faces break into expressions of disbelief. The voice is distant and crackling, but unmistakably human.

They’ve got it.

[infinitewarden]

The Vex, the Black Garden, and Mercury's Conversion. (Alt Title: I am going insane)

There's always something going on with the Vex in the background and I can't believe I didn't pay closer attention to it when these weird single-celled organisms have always been right up my alley right there beside Osiris.

Anyways. What's been on my mind lately is Brass Gardeners from the Inspiral lorebook (dropped from Root of Nightmares.) I was so caught up in the interesting implications and continuation of Unveiling that it completely flew under the radar for me.

Now what I want to focus on is these key aspects from this lore entry:

Garden state: neutral garden&&gardeners==root&&branch==leaf&&flower //intrinsic, inextricable, inescapable

And

anomaly One = leaf|invasive; Garden state: active (gardeners attend)

And

anomaly Zero = infinite|witness; archive data retrieved. Zero = infinite|witness == (a seed was planted here.) Recorded referent: "Black|Heart" Zero : seed :: One : DANGER [SIMULATION BREAKING. VISIBILITY NARROW. FRACTALS DISINTEGRATING.] anomaly Zero, absent. anomaly One, DANGER remaining. Garden state: acting (gardeners in unison)

And

//There is a majestic thorn. The anomaly is gone. The garden is peaceful. //It is known|seen|predicted that a primary function of irresolvable|irrecoverable presences is to trample. Flowers growing / damage repairing / threat unresolved Function called: escalation. Iteration. Function: winnow. Function: simplify. Function: flatten. //The first defense is offense.

Now I'm no expert at coding. But I know a little bit about logic algorithms, especially ones that are presented here. (This is an if-then type of algorithm. These kinds of logic equations are also used in Philosophy which I know much more about.)

The gist of this entry is that, from what I can glean, the Traveler visited the Vex once, and while the Vex considered it invasive they were not actively hostile. An indeterminate amount of time passed, presumably up until the Collapse (our time), and the Witness visited the Garden these Vex have created. (It very well could be that the Black Garden was not the Black Garden until the introduction of the Witness.) It left them a "seed" (or... a code...) that would become the Black Heart.

Or, as we now know, a failed attempt at recreating the Veil.

After this introduction is when the Vex became actively hostile. They did not stay gardeners, the Sol Divisive became winnowers only when the Witness introduced the concept. Which is an incredibly fascinating implication.

So what does this mean?

Well I have a couple theories. Remember this is just speculation, it's not canon.

So we know the Vex have been in our system for... a while. Ever since the Ishtar Collective and Clovis Bray decided to be stupid about them. But this idea of total conversion didn't seem to be the end-all state. I mean the Ishtar Academy was still intact despite some Vex conversion. It doesn't seem like Europa's conversion went very far either.

So why did they go into a frenzy with Mercury during the Collapse? Why did the Vex make Mercury their simulation engine for a Vex end-state? If they wanted to they could've made any of the thousands of planets they inhabit into a simulation engine to the degree of Mercury's but there's no evidence they did. Why target Io? Or Nessus? Why only planets the Light has touched?

Well... The answer is a little complicated. We don't know, really, how the Vex began to terraform Nessus and Io, but we do know how they got to Mercury.

So, let's remember this line:

anomaly One = leaf|invasive; Garden state: active (gardeners attend)

Now, let's look at how the Vex were introduced to Mercury in Trials and Tribulations (for the sake of clarity I will be cutting out the Witness lines save for one vital line):

It was a garden world. The phrase, uttered in confidence. The expanse above, a cup—rimmed in gamma-ink radiance—dammed against the Mercurian sky at the Kármán line. Against the howl of star-wind, the black fell open. Within the rip convulsed and excreted coils of shimmering life. Probing, clattering tendrils slithered down to make landfall. Chrome-hooked appendages stretched for miles through sun-soaked atmosphere. They bored into the marigold sands. From the great temporal chasms flowed an ocean of radiolarian fluid. Across the horizon the scene was resonant and multiplicative. Each injection site fostered a new lineage in stone and steel and fluid. The new age in sub-routine and observation. They would foster the seeds of a generation in time. From the sites bubbled pools that murmured chaotic, and wrung the Traveler's Light from Mercury. The Light coalesced within the pools. The planet transformed into a machine of prediction. The arms retracted, and returned to temporal hovels, suspended just above Mercury's influence. With them rose the spires. From the core, threads of iron fused reinforcement into the spires and brought them high. A surface driven flat by eons of solar erosion had risen. A million open mouths curled plated tongues in completion. Across the world grew a terrible consciousness that yearned to find its progenitor. The hulking vessels pulsed with light. The pools and spires pulsed dull tones in recognition, and the black sealed once more, restoring the sol-dominated sky |awaiting an angular shadow|. Illumination left the spires, and the Light was erased.

Okay, this one is a big one and might be a little difficult to grasp, but the gist of it is that a portal ("the black") opened and implanted the first Vex seeds into Mercury all while draining the Light. This portal was created by a Pyramid. This happened during the collapse.

The Vex were artificially implanted onto Mercury by the Witness for the purpose of creating a prediction engine. And not only that but they were meant to wait for the Witness's return.

Which they responded to in the last chapter of Trials and Tribulations:

Vance stood in the old Lighthouse, frantically assembling the Infinite Simulacrum: a machine formed from bits of simulation seeds and connective Vex architecture to mimic a pocket forest. Textured notes and schematics derived from Osirian lore guided his hand. He heard stories from passing Guardians of increasingly frequent coronal mass ejections. Vast bursts of charged particles whipped into space and furled around a gravitational monster buried from sight and sense in the roar of the star-wind. Passage to Mercury had become more dangerous for the uninitiated. These unnatural motions were heralds of speculation, and he had read the signs. He knew the prophecies by heart and mind and intention. Ruin. Something new |and so very old| emerged, brother to a shriveling star: An angular |hungering patient yawning deep| shadow reached across Mercury. Uncounted |known| spires fell under its grasp |with uniform relief|. Dulcet tones brought low under lightless breadth and the weight of dark |salvation| hummed beneath the shadow. Their echoes spilled out |awakened| and flowed over crumbling spires |in conversation|. One singular spec of illumination blinked into being, |an end| seen by none, and then |many| spread as the shadow did. The old Lighthouse |spire's collective| beamed |rose| and flared as shadow overtook it |to meet the underbelly|. Vance |the implement| could hear |their inspired voices| weeping, not with tears, but in the |voracious| low |ceremonial| hum he had come to associate with death. He closed his eyes |and saw what was to come|. This day had many names. None would suffice.

We know now that memory and consciousness is linked to the darkness, and in turn links to simulations. Is that why they made a prediction engine? Were the Vex on Mercury meant to help the Witness expedite the path to the final shape? Were they left in limbo because of Savathun's betrayal? Osiris saw what the Witness's final shape would result in within the Infinite Forest, was this the end goal the Vex were meant to look for? Was the Witness using the Vex as herbicides on Mercury,

I don't know what's going on with the Vex or the Black Garden or Mercury and its implications are driving me fucking insane. I don't even know what I'm getting at here anymore I just need you to understand that there is Something Here and I Can't Fucking Touch It. I started off trying to find meaning behind the change in the Vex if they changed at all but the rabbit hole just kept getting deeper.

Do the vex not understand Paracausality because the Traveler and the Veil were once one? I mean I made up this whole apple metaphor about how if you knew everything about an apple but then suddenly the apple was split into two separate things and the apple simply did not even exist as a concept anymore wouldn't you be just as confused? Also they say the Vex need to Veil in order to finally understand Paracausality. Is that why they don't? Because they only knew the two when they were one?

Does anyone hear me. What the fuck is happening. What's going on. What is the purpose of the Lighthouses. Why did the Witness plant the Vex there. Why did the Witness call Calus specifically to the Mercury anomaly. What's so important about Vance and the Tones for Osiris's memories of them to have possibly been removed!? (ANOTHER POST TO BE MADE.) Why was Sister Faora mentioned? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. I'm losing my train of thought there's just So Much Here.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE VEX AND MERCURY