#the first one I drew about. . .2 years ago

[kaiserouo]

Fun fact: Most simulacra don't know they're simulacra, thanks to the ego retention system

[loud-whistling-yes]

This will probably the last progress you'll see of this until december but why not

[nosleepgummitato]

I just find it funny how they're both just looking at each other.

[batboyblog]

I'm seeing a worrying amount of idiots on tumblr dot com push that "Kamala hates trans women" and I am losing my mind at how they are pushing it, constantly, saying she is a proven transmisogynist, despite it being a complete lie and her actively working behind the scenes to help trans women in prison. Is there like, sources that could help debunk this shit because I'm at my wits end as these people scream and cry and vomit trying to get biden to drop out but then are like "eghhhh still don't wanna vote for a transphobic cop..." when she's NEITHER-

Isn't the internet wonderful? first rule NEVER examine your priors! ALWAYS! hang onto whatever the first hot take you had on a subject to THE DEATH!

"Kamala is Transphobic!" over here in reality

past that trans and LGBT rights groups have been quick to endorse her like

Advocates for Trans Equality

Human Rights Campaign

just today 1,100 LGBT celebrities, lawmakers and leaders endorsed her

“The intersection on the issue of reproductive care and trans care, and the ability of families to be able to have care for their children and their families, is really, again, an intersection around attacks that are on an identity,” -Vice-President Harris, 2023

any ways the root of the idea she's transphobic comes from one case in 2015. Two inmates in the California State Prison system sued to get GRS, which as inmates would have been covered by the Prison system. It's worth noting here, both women got what they wanted, one was paroled and got the surgery covered by California Medicare while the other serving a life sentence was ultimately covered by the prison system.

Two things are important to bear in mind here, 1. Part of the job of California Attorneys General is to defend the state when it is sued, thats the job, 2. It seems early on in the case Harris was not personally aware of it, about 1,000 lawyers work in the Cali AG's office and so the AG cannot be personally aware of every case, and check this quote from the Lambda Legal lawyer handling the case:

“The California AG’s office shifted its handling of these cases significantly after now-Sen. Harris took over,” Renn said. “Initially there was language in briefing for the state that glaringly misunderstood the medical necessity of transition-related medical care and was patently offensive. But then, there was a dramatic change, which seems to have gone along with important policy shifts.”

Link

in 2019 Harris talked about the case and working after it was settled to change the policy of the California State Prison system

"When that case came up, I had clients, and one of them was the California Department of Corrections. It was their policy. When I learned about what they were doing, behind the scenes, I got them to change the policy," Harris said.

"I commit to you that always in these systems there are going to be these things that these agencies do. And I will commit myself, as I always have, to dealing with it," Harris said.

Any ways Harris can consistently spoken out for and supported Trans people, banned the hateful Trans panic defense when she was AG, in the Senate supported the Equality Act, during her 2020 campaign for President she drew attention to the hate crimes against black trans women while holding herself accountable for the 2015 case. As Vice-President she drew fire voicing support for Dylan Mulvaney during the hellish Bud Light backlash. Her Husband Doug was tapped to host the first ever White House Trans Day of Remembrance

basically you're looking at a great ally who clearly supports trans rights, who was involved in a case, which involved two people who got the surgeries they were looking for paid for by the State of California, close to 10 years ago now, there's evidence that both she moved the case in a better direction when she took over it and also that she changed the polices of the state to before more gender affirming.

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[pitchsidestories]

when grumpy met sunshine II Kika Nazareth x Reader

part 2 I masterlist I word count: 2382

It was the first day of training after the summer vacation marking the start of pre-season. With the new players coming in on the one hand and on the other hand the familiar faces it almost felt like the beginning of a school year. Everyone was buzzing.  

One of the fresh signings approached you quickly once she recognized you, her face lit up with joy and excitement.

“Hi y/n, I love your playing style and can’t wait to play with you!”, Kika Nazareth greeted you. God how you hated that footballer and her stupid smile. Also how dare she is saying that after what happened a year ago.

“Uhu, sure. It seems like you forgot what you did during the Champions League group stage games.”, you answered coldly.

“Huh, what do you mean?”, the Portuguese woman frowned confused.

“Forget it.”, you waved it off and rushed off leaving a very bewildered Kika behind.

“Don’t take it personally she never forgets anything really. Come on you need to meet the rest of your new teammates.”, Mapi padded empathetically the shoulder of the young forward.

“But I don’t get it, Mapi. What did I ever do to her?”, the brunette asked the defender, while her brown eyes followed you across the room. S

he was genuinely excited to play with you, if you hadn’t stopped her so abruptly the Portuguese might have said even more. How Kika loved the way you looked and.. she should stop thinking any further you clearly were mad at her, but why?

“I don’t know.”, the older Spanish woman shrugged equally as clueless.

“Weird.”, the forward mumbled.

“Let’s go the others are so thrilled to see you.”, Mapi tried to cheer her up.

“Hey, everyone.”, Kika begun anew, beaming at the teammates. Hoping, no praying, she wouldn’t cause a reaction like yours earlier. The dark haired forward didn’t want to ruin the first day at the new club anymore.

“Hi, welcome to the club.”, Claudia replied grinning.

“And thanks to special agent Aitana for this transfer who sadly can’t be here right now.”, Mapi continued, trying to soothe the fresh signing. It worked Kika did feel more relaxed in front of them.

“Guys calm down she still hasn’t proven herself in the team.”, you commented rolling your eyes, suddenly appearing next to Ingrid.

“I’m aware of how good this team is. But I’m sure I can help.”, the Portuguese swallowed hard, trying to sound as optimistic as possible.

“We’ll see about that.”, you shot back.

“Don’t worry you’ll.”, she promised. The football player was waiting for a response but once more you vanished without a trace. What a strange behaviour Kika thought to herself.

Thankfully Ellie delivered a much-needed distraction.

 “Kika? Ewa and I wanted to ask you if you’d join us for a coffee sometime soon? As we’re all new to the city.”  

“Yes, sure, I’d love that.”, she nodded happily.

Ellie beamed: “Wonderful.“

“Can’t wait.“, Kika smiled back at the young goalie.

Once again, you rolled your eyes and turned away from them to focus on your warm up.

You were one of the last to leave the pitch two hours later, thinking that you would have the dressing room for yourself. You did not expect Ingrid and Mapi waiting for you there.

“So?“, Ingrid said with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

You didn’t want to talk about your new team member so you decided to play along: “So what?“

With a half smile she finally formulated a question: “Why are you pouting?“

“I’m not pouting. Just annoyed by that smiley…“, you stopped yourself. You couldn’t come up with the right word for her anyway.

Mapi shook her head: “You’re not annoyed.“

At this point, you were starting to get annoyed with these two as well.

“Yes, I am. We didn’t need her in our team.“

“That’s not our decision though.“, Mapi shrugged.

You were about to say something but Ingrid was faster: “Y/n?“

You turned to her: “Yes?“

“Tell us why you’re mad at her.“

You heaved a frustrated sigh. They were worse than your parents.

“Remember when we drew against Benfica in Lisbon?“

Both of them nodded. Of course they would remember last years UWCL games. “Yeah?“

“What happened there? Why can’t you move on from it?“, Mapi asked.

Her girlfriend added: “Come on. It can’t be that bad. You can tell us.“

They looked at you with those soft eyes, all parent-like. Almost like your team psychologist.

The sudden urge to tell them disappeared completely so you just shrugged and grabbed your bag: “Whatever.“

You could feel their eyes on you as you left the dressing room, still in your workout clothes.

Ingrid looked at her incredulously: “Well, that was strange, Mapi.“

“Very.“, she agreed slowly.

As you went back to your own place, Kika and the other new players sipped on their coffees at a tiny little coffee shop.

“No, I’ll win her over with my charm, Ellie.“, Kika announced confidently. Even they had noticed the awkward tension between the two of you.

The English goalkeeper nodded slowly: “Sure you will, Kika.“

“Anyone wants some cake with their coffee?“, Ewa changed the topic. She had been eyeing the tasty looking sweet treats on display right from the start.

The Portuguese striker nodded: “Of course.“

“Can’t say no, they look delicious.“, Ellie laughed.

“We have to celebrate. It’s our first coffee date in our new home.“, Kika laughed.

Ewa stood up and agreed: “We do.“

She quickly returned with three different slices of cake so all of them could try.

“Knowing we play for such a prestigious club now feels great, right?“, she said as she sat the plates down on the table.

“This feels like a dream come true.”, the goalkeeper agreed with a dreamy look in her blue eyes.

It has always been something the blonde fantasized about since she was a little girl, playing for that club and now the fantasy turned into reality which she was forever grateful for.

When Ellie continued, she sounded serious. “Especially after the last year that I had.” The other two women knew about the stroke the English player had suffered.

That was why Kika pulled her into a soft hug whispering into the ear. You deserve to be here so much, Ellie.”

“Thanks. I’m happy that I got to start with you two.”, the goalkeeper smiled at her new teammates.

“Same. I’ve a feeling this will be a fantastic first season for us.”, Ewa replied enthusiastically.

“And we got each other if it’s getting hard.”, the Portuguese striker added.

“Yes, plus I’m sure even grumpy will like you eventually, Kika.”, Ellie remarked.

Immediately the smile vanished from the brunette’s face. “Not so sure about this. Apparently, I must have done something to her during our UWCL match last season.”

“But you don’t remember?”, Ewa questioned curiously. Quickly Kika shook her head.

“No.”

Although she tried her hardest to think what the striker could have done which made you hate her so much. Usually everyone warmed up under Kikas positive radiance, but you were her first exception, following her into her dreams.

In training Kika and you were much to your dismay supposed to be partners.

“Kika, I think Ill swap with Esmee.”, you declared.

“You can’t swap training partners.”, Mapi interjected in a tone which didn’t allow any dissent.

“Fine.”, you groaned. Even though you had played a few years in the first squad of Barca now aged 21 the defender was still like the big sister you never had, and you didn’t want to disappoint her. Even if it meant you needed to work with the person you disliked.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me.”, Kika observed, wearing a huge smile on her lips.

“Yes, with the one who showed me the middle finger last year.”, you muttered under her breath. Unfortunately, it was still loud enough for the striker to understand the words you were saying.

“I never did that!”, she objected loudly.

“Yes, you did.”, you responded.

“No way, I’d never do that.”, Kika insisted.

“And when you said something about the way I played.”, your voice trembled.

“That’s not true.”, the striker denied strongly.

“What’s true?”, you wanted to know.

“Nothing of what you think happened is true!”, she stated passionately.

Hearing her statement made your heart pound hard against your chest. “Are you saying that this is all a huge misunderstanding?”

Obviously!“, Kika said with emphasis and the slightest undertone of anger.

“Oh.“

You didn’t know what else to say. Was she telling the truth? Did it really only look like it at the pitch? Was it a gesture to you or her own teammate?

All the Champions League games seemed to blur together in front of your inner eye. Now you weren’t sure anymore.

“Wait… so you don’t hate me because I’m here and could potentially take your place in the starting squad?“, Kika asked.

You frowned at her: “No, we play two different positions. So why should I be afraid of that?“

“Because I know that you like to push forward too.“, she explained.

You stalled once again. You found it impressive that she had already analyzed your playing style.

You shook your head: “Yes. But I don’t hate your for that. I’m used to tough competition, Barca is my childhood club.“

“Okay… wow.“

“What?“

Kika started laughing: “I really thought you hated me because you had a good reason.“

At first you just glared at her for making fun of you but her laugh was incredibly infectious and you suddenly found yourself laughing with her.

“Stop laughing. This is a good reason!“, you told her as you playfully hit her arm.

“That’s not a good reason.“

“Come on. Focus on your exercise.“, you reminded her, still smiling.

Kika raised her hands defensively and grinned: “Okay, okay. Can’t make you mad at me again.“

“No. Also I have to maintain my grumpy status.“, you replied and tried your best to keep your face serious again.

Kika giggled: “Sorry, of course.“

“Good.“

“Don’t worry. I think I can handle your grumpiness.“

You squinted at her: “Might need some sunglasses to deal with your sunshiny attitude.“

“I know you love it.“, she winked at you. She really dared to wink at you!

You shook your head: “No, you’re still the most annoying person around here.“

“You don’t mean that.“

She was right. You didn’t.

Still, you continued to tease: “Are you sure?“

She flashed you a confident smile: “Yes.“

“Dream on.“

Kika shrugged casually and focused back on your partner exercise: “If you say so, y/n.“

After your talk, you didn’t feel that intense anger towards Kika anymore. Everything was a bit lighter once the misunderstanding was cleared up. It went even so far that you didn’t react with pure disgust when she asked you to room together at your first pre-season match against Hoffenheim.

“Can’t believe we’ve to share a room, Kika.“, you joked as you sat on one of the beds.

Kika threw herself onto the other one: “Quit complaining, you grump.“

You shrugged with amusement: “At least it’s just for one night.“

The Portuguese striker smiled: “You will survive. I’m a quiet sleeper.“

After you both changed into your pyjamas and brushed your teeth you happily let your head fall on to the soft pillow.

“Good night, Kika.”, you mumbled.

“Night y/n.”, the striker hummed.

Yet something was off, the heat in that southern part of Germany still hung in the room, plus Kika hasn’t stopped moving in her bed. 

“Can’t you sleep?”, you asked her with a heavy sigh.

“No, what about you?”, she returned the question, directing her gaze straight at you.

“Me neither.”, you admitted. There was some restlessness and tension between the two of you, it was almost unbearable.

“Do you want to talk?”, Kika offered kindly.

“Sure.”, you agreed softly.

“So, what keeps you up?”, the Portuguese wanted to know.

Even though the moonlight enhanced her features and made you think thoughts again you tried to avoid you started with a less heavy confession.

“The adrenaline of the win. I think I’ll never get tired of that feeling, what about you?”

You waited for her response, did you imagine it or did her cheeks turn red, it was hard to tell in the dark.

“Oh, yeah, I get that. I love it too. But there’s something else that keeps me awake.”, the brunette replied nervously.

“There’s? Are you missing Portugal?”, you listened up.

“A bit yes, but that’s not it. This might be a bad start for the new season, but there’s someone in this team that I think I’ve a crush on.”, Kika confessed.

“You do?”, you answered stunned.

“Yeah.”

For a moment you paused before the realization hit you hard.

“Wait, it’s me, right?”

“It’s yes.”, she confirmed quietly.

“That’s too bad because I.”, you begun.

“Oh, you don’t have to say anything, I get that. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”, the striker interrupted you quickly.

“No stop talking for a moment.”, you begged her, placing a finger of yours onto her lips. God, that woman really loved to talk, even though now the time clearly was for listening as you tried to demonstrate to her.

“I fell too.”, you added in a whisper.

“You did? Am I not way too annoying for you.”, Kika frowned.

“Yes, you’re and yet I’d like to kiss your mouth who loves to annoy me with it’s yapping.”, you grinned.

“You should give it a try maybe.”, she smirked.

“Maybe you can sleep better afterwards.”, you suggested playfully.

“Maybe we both can.”, your teammate wiggled her eyebrows.

“I’m sure of it.” First the kiss was cautiously before it was getting more intensely until you heard the door open loudly.

“Oh my god!”, Mapi yelled.

“Mapi, get out!”, you shrieked.

“I didn’t see anything. Promise!”, the defender gesticulated wildly. With that said she was gone as quick as the older woman came.

“This news will run like a wildfire, right?”, Kika chuckled.

“Yes, by tomorrow morning everyone knows.”, you groaned as she pulled you into a hug.

“I don’t mind that. They can know that grumpy and sunshine always belong together.”, she announced solemnly placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

[zepskies]

Lesson Learned

Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader

Summary: There’s only so much teasing Ben is willing to take. He has no choice but to punish you.

AN: Here we go! lol. This is the highly requested Part 2 to This One’s For You, over in the BMD-verse!

Word Count: 2.2K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, edging, teasing, fluff, and feels.

💚 Break Me Down Masterlist

You gasped, your nails raking through his hair. Your grip threatened to rip out a few strands as you panted into his neck.

“Ben, please…for God’s sake…”

“Please what?” he said. There was grit in his voice when he spoke into your ear, but he was all too controlled. Taunting.

Asshole.

He was relentless, dragging his fingers inside your quivering pussy, rubbing his thumb around your clit, but almost never where you wanted him. Your thighs were shaking on either side of his frame as he had you naked on your back, writhing in the middle of your shared bed. You’d sucked him off until his spine rattled and his eyes nearly crossed, swallowing up as much as you could of what he had to give.

Still, he wasn’t satisfied.

“I’m sorry!” you burst in frustration, but you also had to stifle your laughter. Your husband narrowed his eyes at you, spying the hint of your smile.

“How come I don’t fucking believe you?” said Ben. With his elbow digging into the bed beside your shoulder, his occupied fingers curled inside you, finally brushing against the sensitive ridge of your inner walls. It drew a faltering moan from your lips. 

“What exactly are you sorry for?” he demanded. He bowed his head and laid a biting kiss along your throat. “Use your fucking words.”

You exhaled roughly, gripping his hair tight again. Now that he couldn’t see your face, you could allow yourself to grin in amusement.

Three Days Ago…

Ben was tired and more irritable than usual when he stepped into the Flatiron Building. The night before had been a battle of wills between him and his infant daughter, who’d been finnicky, having a hard time going back to sleep. He’d done his best to help her get back to sleep, since you had been dead to the world and unable to leave the bed (or so you’d seemed).

Now, he took the elevator up to the right floor and used his key to get into the office suite, where Butcher and the rest of your delinquent friends were already dicking around.

Some horrible French rap was playing on the Bluetooth speaker. Kimiko was flicking tiny pieces of paper across the dining table, into a “goal” made by Hughie’s hands. Frenchie wore a “Kiss the Cook” apron as he pulled a fresh batch of croissants out of the oven in the kitchenette, while M.M. swept the excess flour stains off the counter. 

Annie was trying to get Butcher to smoke his cigarette out on the balcony.

“Really, you had fucking cancer. You’d think you’d try a little harder to take care of yourself,” she said. Butcher gave her a wan smile, and blew a coil of smoke upward between them.

“Nice,” she said flatly.

But all that stopped when Ben strode into the room. They stared at him, each starting to smile, no matter how much some of them tried to hide it (like Kimiko, with a hand over her mouth).

“What the fuck’re you staring at?” Ben snapped. “We got a job, right?”

Butcher cleared his throat and recovered first. He dabbed his cigarette on an ashtray on the dining table and grabbed an iPad to give to the supe.

“Yeah, got us an escapee. Our little slumlord, Sapphire,” he said.

Ben frowned. Sapphire was the supe who nearly vaporized you a couple of years ago, after they broke up her drug ring. While he read the file documenting detailing her escape and what the CIA knew of her whereabouts so far, Hughie shared a look with Kimiko and Annie before he spoke.

“So, uh, how’s Lila doing?”

 Ben shot him a look through furrowed brows.

“Fine. She’s with her mother,” he replied. Hughie predictably asked about you, and again, Ben said you were fine at home with the baby.

“Lila’s almost a year old, right?” Hughie asked. “Aw man, that’s gotta be a fun age, right? I mean, fun, but challenging. All the crying, the diaper changing. Getting her to sleep through the night must be tough.”

Ben’s attention piqued at that, and not in a good way. His dark suspicion grew when his gaze flicked up to Hughie’s dumb fucking face, and then the rest of them, with their dumbass smiles. Biting her lip to stop herself from smiling, Annie pressed a button on her phone.

All of a sudden, Ben heard his own voice playing from the speaker.

“H-Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in New York City?”

“Now ain’t that a lovely warble,” Butcher remarked. Ben shot him a warning glare, but the Brit raised his hands in amused surrender. He crossed his arms and continued to smoke as he watched the scene unfold.

Ben tossed the iPad onto the kitchen counter and strode over to Annie with menacing steps, intending to put an end to this bullshit. She grinned and tossed her phone over to Kimiko, and Ben glowered, changing directions.

“I'm a thousand miles away, but girl, tonight you look so pretty. Yes, you do. Time Square can’t shine as bright as you…I swear it’s true.”

Kimiko’s eyes widened at the angry supe heading toward her. She tossed the phone to Frenchie next. The phone bounced between his flour-stained hands as he yelped in surprise.

“Oh, shit,” he uttered, when Ben began stomping his way.

“Hey there, Delilah, don't you worry about the distance. I'm right there if you get lonely. Give this song another listen…”

“A voice like warm butter,” Frenchie praised. He quickly tried to move from side to side to evade his attacker. “You should be proud, Monsiuer Grincheux! A man soothing his baby is a beautiful thing.”

“Shut your fucking cockhole,” Ben gritted out, but he still reached out when the phone sailed under his arm—only to land in M.M.’s hands. He froze with widened eyes, not wanting to be in the game. But it was too late, for him and Ben.

“Hey there, Delilah, here’s to you,” his voice sang, more quietly, more tender, deep and baritone. “This one’s for you…”

A brief pause. And then—

“What the fuck’re you doing?”

M.M. managed to pause the video. A beat of utter silence, and then...

Everyone burst out into laughter. Hughie started it; he was damn near folded in half, leaning heavily on his girlfriend as he wiped a tear out of his eye. M.M. tossed the phone back to Frenchie, whose entire frame was shaking with restrained glee.

Ben’s jaw worked as he contemplated how exactly he was going to kill every one of these cocksucking morons.

And then you. Because how else had they gotten that video? You had to have sent it somehow before he got ahold of you last night.

“All right, enough!” he bellowed.

The entire room fell silent.

“First of all, erase that shit right now, or it’s coming out your ass,” he barked, pointing at Frenchie. The other man jolted and did as he was told.

“As for the rest of you, I better not hear another fucking word about this, or so help me Christ, I’m gonna do some barbecuing.” 

About three days later, Sapphire had been caught and re-imprisoned, and Ben returned home. He found you in the living room. He was taciturn to your happy smile when you welcomed him with a hug around his waist, though your smile fell after he didn’t respond to your kiss.

He slowly lowered his gaze down to you, and you knew.

Biting your lip, you soothed a hand along his cheek. “So, how’d it go?”

“Fine,” he said, but little else.

In fact, Ben didn’t speak to you for most of the evening. You tried cooking him a good hot meal, but he barely said two words to you. The only thing he did, before he was even showered and changed, was venture into the nursery to lay a gentle hand on his daughter’s head as she slept, over her downy brown hair. He bent down to press a kiss to her forehead.

After that, he strode past you in the doorway and slammed the door shut in the bathroom.

Aw shit. Despite yourself, you couldn’t help chortling with laughter. You should’ve known he’d be a great big man child about this.

So you decided to call your mom and see if she could take Lila for the night.

You had some damage control to do.

Now…

He'd brought you to the edge of your pleasure three times before he withdrew his mouth or his hand from your body, not letting you touch yourself, not letting you come—driving you to the point of frustrated tears.

You grabbed his head with both hands and guided him to look you in the eyes.

“Baby, please. Stop torturing me,” you pleaded. You used every tool in your arsenal to make him break, giving him soft, tearful eyes. You leaned up and pressed gentle kisses to his cheek, his chin, the corner of his mouth, and finally his lips.

“I need you,” you whispered, drawing him into deeper, messier kisses. Part of him started to falter. He briefly closed his eyes and breathed into your kiss.

But then, he stubbornly broke from you with a frown.

“Nice try. You’re not getting off that easy,” he said. “Now say it. Why the fuck are you sorry?”

You huffed in aggravation, but you twined your arms around his neck and brushed slightly sweaty strands of his hair away from his forehead.

“I’m sorry for embarrassing you,” you said, even though your mouth began to curve upward. “It was a sweet thing you did, and I’m glad I captured it. But I am sorry that sharing that moment with our friends bothers you so much.”

“First of all, they’re your idiot friends,” he said. You wanted to interject on that one, but you knew he wasn’t in the mood, and you didn’t want to fight with him for real.

“Second of all,” he began…but he didn’t have any more words after that. They were caught between his irritation, and his unwillingness to even voice what it was he felt. Eventually, he found them.

“There’s some shit that needs to stay between us,” he said.  

You smiled, but you mercifully drew him down for another slow kiss.

“Okay, okay. I hear you. It’s not that big a deal though. You love your family, and look! Your macho-ness is still very much intact,” you said, gesturing at his very much hard cock pressing against your thigh. “Now are you gonna fuck me like a man, or do I need to find a vibrator that will?”

At that Ben looked down at you with a raise of his brows. His lips twitched, mostly at your audacity. Shaking his head, he slid a hand behind your neck and drew you in for a kiss, fueled by passion and frustration in equal measure.

You wrapped your thighs around his hips, urging him closer. His straining length pressed against your center, the wet tip slipping against your glistening folds. He groaned at the sensation.

“Please,” you repeated, licking into his mouth for a sensuous kiss.

The once-iron grip on his restraint finally broke. Ben slid a hand between you to hold himself to your entrance. With one smooth thrust, his cock buried deep inside you. Your moan of relief echoed his own. If nothing else good came out of this situation, you two hadn’t had the time or the energy to go at it like this in a long time.

He grabbed your thigh and angled you higher, so he could sink in at an even better angle as he began to rut into you.

With all of his earlier edging and teasing, you were already so close. Your inner walls fluttered around him, welcoming him home and gripping him tight. All it took was a few well-placed swipes of his thumb over your clit to have you tumbling over the edge—a delicious cresting of pleasure that made you arch off the bed, biting your nails into his shoulders, a cry caught in your throat.

Ben fucked you through your release, all while chasing his own. His grip on your hip tightened as his thrusts grew ragged, his own breathing shallow and rough, until his balls tightened and his body locked up on him. He spent himself inside you, coating your inner walls until he had nothing left.

He just barely managed to keep himself from smothering you as his body relaxed. You still welcomed his weight on you, soothing your hands up and down his back while you both caught your breath. Your thighs slipped from his hips, your feet meeting bed and sliding out a little.

Ben brushed your sweaty hair away from your face. Looking down on you now, his face gentled from its hardened angles and furrowed brows. You smiled lazily.

“Still mad at me?” you teased.

Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he let out a rough exhale through his nose.

“Something tells me you didn’t learn your lesson,” he said, somewhat incredulous, and yet, amused.

Your smile was undoubtedly cheeky, even as you leaned up to give him a sweeter kiss.

“Sure did, baby,” you said against his lips. And another kiss. “Lesson learned, I promise.”

He really did roll his eyes this time.

AN: 😂 Ben just can't win, can he?

Translation: Monsiuer Grincheux - "Mr. Grumpy" in French

Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:

Coming up next, Ben has his Adventures in Babysitting moment in Green:

Summary: Ben spends the day alone with his daughter, to varying degrees of success. When you get home, it prompts a serious conversation.

▶️ Keep Reading: Green

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[imjustdreamingig]

Jesus, what's a girl to do?

Part 1, Part 3

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Robin meddles, Steve is clueless, and you're freaking out. So a regular day.

A/N: i genuinely have no idea where this came from, i legit posted the first part like 2 years ago. but I guess I want to start actually writing more? idk! we shall see. anyways, this fic stems from my (occasional) exhaustion to shy!reader and i'm basing this more on how horrifically i acted around the guys i would like even tho i consider myself an extrovert. enjoy whatever this is??? and lmk if u want a part 3! also this is not proof read so bear w me

warnings: sfw, swearing, uhhh i think that's it???

You were screwed. Absolutely, terribly, fucking screwed.

You were also very angry at your mother, giving her a glare every time she glanced your way at the dinner table. She merely gave you a wink in return, not understanding the true implications of her actions.

"So, Steve," your mom began as she cut a bit of the chicken on her plate, "you play basketball, right? Is that something you want to keep doing in university?" This time, you openly stared at your mom, trying to telepathically convey that you would literally kill her if she kept talking. You haven't made up your mind if you're joking or not.

Steve cleared his throat, "Yeah, I do, I'd say I'm pretty good at it, too. Wherever I end up going, I'll probably join their team for fun." He turned to you after taking a bite of his meal, smirking. "You like basketball too, right?"

You choked on your water, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. You looked at Steve properly for practically the first time that night, but your voice never wavered. "No, not really, why?"

He turned back to his food, amusement gracing his voice. "Well, I see you and Robin sitting together at every game, even the away ones, so I just assumed." If your face could sport a visible blush, you knew it would be a bright red, hot, mess.

"Well, I- I get dragged by Robin because she doesn't like sitting alone or going to random schools by herself like, half an hour away. Do you even watch the news? Girls by themselves are basically the perfect bait for random kidnappings and stuff, especially girls in high school, like I mean the statistics for-"

"Y/N" You're rambling is halted by your mother's voice. Steve is looking at you in bemusement. You are contemplating death. The situation is not looking good.

"Could you grab me some water from the kitchen, with ice," your mother said with a strained smile, holding out her glass. You grab it and push your chair out. "Sure, yeah," you replied. As you made your way to the kitchen, your mind replays the last hour of the events that have transpired, wondering what you could've possibly done in your past life to deserve this.

How could your own mother, the woman who birthed you, ask the hottest guy in your grade if he wanted to stay for dinner and not consult you first, all whilst knowing you had the most ridiculous crush on the guy.

Betrayed by the ones closest to you. This is probably how Julius Caesar felt.

After overcoming your initial shock, and lets face it, mortification of being paired up with Steve for your English project, you attempted to the best of your abilities to push down your feelings and remain professional in order to actually work on the project and make sure you got an A. Your grades would not suffer over a stupid crush on a stupid boy, that's where you drew the line. Unfortunately, this plan was not working out so well.

It was actually failing, horrifically at that.

It had been about a month since the semester started and the project had been assigned—a complex analysis of a classic book of your choice and how that particular novel has inspired the creation of others and advanced its genre. You had to write a collaborative essay to hand in to your teacher, as well as create an interactive presentation for your classmates explaining your chosen novel.

This was all due at the end of the semester and you'd be given no in class time to work on it since you had an ample amount time to work on it outside of school. It would also replace the need for a final exam, which was great news. When your teacher had explained the project, you were ecstatic, knowing exactly what book you wanted to do: Pride and Prejudice.

Then, you remembered who you had to do the project with, this huge, daunting, complex, project, where you would need to interact with your partner in close proximity for an extended period of time. You felt faint.

Steve, in his defence, had tried to approach you on multiple occasions to try and figure out when you two should meet to try and start the project. But, obviously, whenever you saw so much as a glimpse of him in the hallway, you would make yourself scarce.

The only time he would actually be able to talk to you was in your shared English class. Robin was beginning to go crazy at your increasingly outlandish excuses as to why you couldn't meet up with Steve after school in order to work on your project.

"Oh sorry, my mom needs my help on some stuff tonight."

"I have to take my brother to soccer practice."

"I can't today, I have an eye doctor appointment."

"My dog actually needs to go to the vet, she's sick, sorry."

"My family and I are going on a road trip this weekend, so I'm not free."

"My sister broke her leg uh— skiing, and she needs help writing stuff for school."

"Funny story, Robin has a crazy ex thats trying to get her to meet up with him again, and I have to help her slash their tires and like, do girl stuff, it's personal, so I'm not free, maybe next week though?"

That last excuse is what caused Robin to snap. She knew that Steve knew that you were making shit up, Robin has never even been in a relationship, let alone have an ex. Also, you didn't even have a sister, what gives!

You also had no clue exactly how close the pair had gotten due to working together at the video store and that she'd told Steve she was into girls. Therefore, like the great best friend she was, Robin decided it was time she intervened, for everyones sake really, but mostly yours.

"God," you sighed, "I never thought I would be so into arms, like not the huge, bulging one, you know? All veiny and red, that just scares me, hello, his are just ones that are like slightly defined, but have a very obvious outline of muscle, like I can tell he's strong, and fuck, his biceps, is it bad that I want to like, bite them? Because every time I look and him and he's fixing his hair I just keep getting this urge to—wait where are you going? Robin? Ok, OK! I'll stop, I promise! Come back!"

If Robin had to hear another anecdote about how you wanted to bite his arms, she was going to puke.

Your continuous blabbering about how good Steve's hair looked or how good those jeans looked on him and your inability to have one proper conversation with him or stay in the same room as him for longer than two minutes was making her go insane. She couldn't take it anymore.

So, Robin devised a plan, which one day she was sure you would thank her for—hopefully.

First, she inconspicuously made sure that you had nothing planned for Thursday night, already knowing you were free but wanting to double check that no random stuff had come up.

Then, she called your mom, who absolutely adored Robin. She told her about your situation and how if she did nothing, your infatuation for Steve was literally going to give her an aneurysm. Robin would tell you that she wanted to hang out Thursday night so you would get ready, but instead of her showing up, it would be Steve.

Not surprisingly, your mom agreed to Robin's crazy plan. She thought it was about time you got a boyfriend. You had already talked about Steve so much to her anyways, but any time she would tell you to just try talking to the guy, you vehemently refused.

"Mom, are you insane, I'm not going to do that," you scoffed as if literally just having a conversation with another person was the most insane idea in the world.

"Mija, how else are you supposed to get to know people if you can't speak to them? Besides, you never seem to have a problem talking back to me whenever we have an argument," you mom shrugged as she continued folding the laundry you were helping her with.

"Oh come on," you sighed exasperatedly, "that's not the same thing and you know it."

"I'm just saying, by the looks of it, I don't think I'll be a grandmother."

"Mom, what, hello!?"

Getting Steve to show up at your house was easier than Robin thought. She conveniently told him right before the beginning of their shift on Thursday that you'd told Robin that they should all get together at your house to finally get started on the project. Robin smiled a bit wider than necessary when Steve enthusiastic agreed to go.

When Robin gave Steve your address and told him that she would be over a little later because she left some stuff at her house, that no, she didn't need a ride and that no, she was fine walking, Steve was none the wiser to her actual plan.

As Robin saw Steve pull out of her driveway and making his way to your house, she gave herself a mental pat on the back and started thinking about what movie she should watch after dinner, knowing that the school day tomorrow would be very entertaining.

When Steve rang your doorbell, he was still clueless about the real intentions of Robin's plan, but when you opened the door and he saw your eyes go wide and your mouth drop slightly open, almost as if you weren't expecting to see him, something clicked in his head.

This was going to be fun.

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

[asp1diske-art]

'her highness' in the second page refers to hornet, in regards to this doodle i drew 3 years ago where lurien, upon meeting herrah and baby hornet, pointedly bows to hornet, and only hornet in a passive-aggressive gesture showing that he is paying his respect to the pale king’s child, not the beast’s daughter.

i think pre-dreamer lurien and herrah would have regarded each other with contempt. mostly because lurien was a fucking bastard.

after they spent an eternity in the dream realm and watched the world fall apart together they managed to achieve mutual grudging respect.

meanwhile, my monomon & herrah interactions go something like this:

(script for all comics under cut)

comic 1

1.

2. Herrah: Too lofty to bow to the likes of me now, Watcher? Lurien: To her highness, certainly. But I see no reason to bow to you.

3. Herrah: The Pale King and his sorry followers. You are all the same - arrogant cowards, the lot of you.

4. Lurien: And your first reaction to it is violence? Ha! How very sophisticated. Fitting for an unenlightened beast. Herrah: Unenlightened, you say?

5. Herrah: No, it is you who have forgotten. That those base instincts are what drives life.

comic 2

1. Herrah: I'll admit, I didn't think you had it in you. Lurien: ... Herrah: To remain loyal to a kingdom when its own ruler fled... Lurien: ... Herrah: ...Well. You are better than that self-proclaimed god.

2. Lurien: So the child has chosen to give her life to a husk of a kingdom. Herrah: ... Lurien: I am sorry. It is not a fate I would have wished on another.

comic 3

Monomon: Oh, you must be Herrah the Beast! Herrah: Ah, the other Dreamer. Monomon: I've always wanted to know more about Deepnest...

Herrah: This one is treating me like some kind of exotic specimen.

Herrah: (I seriously need to spend the rest of eternity with these two?)

Pompous little fanatic (Lurien)

Arrogant mad scientist (Monomon)

Herrah: (Maybe I should have asked for more than one child...)

[chiimeramanticore]

– is this who you are? // — is this who you've always been?

happy (early) birthday mitzi! your gift is another existential crisis lmao– this is a redraw of a piece from 2 years ago! I've gotten a lot better at drawing animatronics since then, so I wanted to refresh one of my fav pieces :]

(old version + notes under the cut if you're curious!)

here's some fun facts about the piece bc I love adding details no one will notice lol:

the characters from left to right are: queenie from the wolf pack 5, mitzi from the rock-afire explosion, princess halley from the moonrockers, hannah banana, bear mitzi from the hard luck bears (these two are swapped in the old piece), and helen henny from chuck e cheese

i specifically used latex/3 stage helen as reference, but in the new version I couldn't help but take some of her shapes from her plastic mask lol

i also changed which HLB design I used for bear mitzi- iirc the old pic used her original design where the new version uses one of her outfits from the gulliver's parks

in both versions of the piece, all characters except mitzi are drawn with the symmetry tool– you can mirror the picture yourself to see it clearer!

in the new version of the piece, I also drew only mitzi using a brush with pen pressure and antialiasing– the others were all drawn with the digital pen (one of the default ibis paint brushes)! I drew the entire first version w this brush cuz I was super married to it until like 2 months ago lmao

if I'm being honest I completely forgot how to replicate the glowing effect from the first pic so that's why the bg characters look a little different this time gkfkgk

[hellvcifer]

ANGEL SUPPORT SERVICES— ଘ part 2┆part 1

pairing :: lucifer x fem!angel!reader, slight adam x fem!angel!reader wc :: 5.1k note :: I did not realize this was gonna be over 5k... BUT !! thank you for the love and support on part 1 !! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა warnings :: canon typical language

ONE YEAR AGO

“If it isn’t the sweetest ASS in all of Heaven.” A familiar voice rang out, the breeze of flapping wings flushed around you before someone landed on the balcony of your office. “Sup hot stuff.”

“Adam, I really don’t have time for this right now.” You shuffled through some more papers, not even looking at him.

He strutted closer, placing a drink next to you on one of your filing cabinets. “Woah, what’s got your titties in a twist.” 

“The meeting we have with Hell in an hour.” You huffed. “I still have to drop the paperwork off at headquarters and then run a file, that I can’t seem to find, to Analytics before then.”

“Oh, yeah. What a bitch.” He slurped his drink through the straw of his own cup.

Your eyes narrowed at him, tilting your head upward. “You’re the one that got it assigned to me in the first place.” You spoke flatley.

He gulped the liquid down before laughing. “Shit! Did I? Can’t say I never do nothing for you.” He stretched, releasing a heavy exhale in relief. “What do you say after we deal with these cunts downstairs, we meet up after. Take a load off. Chillaxe.” 

“And why would we do that?” You had already turned back to the files you were going through, doing your best to pay him no mind.

“Uh, because I fucking rock.” He threw up the notorious sign with his empty hand. You had finally found the papers you were looking for before registering his words.

You paused. “Are you…” Straightening your posture, you turned towards Adam seeing him stare down at you. His eyes were wide, as if he was nervously awaiting your answer. “Are you asking me out?” 

“HA! Your words, not mine, Babe.” His demeanor switched quickly. You rolled your eyes, closing the filing cabinet before walking out of your office. He tensed, grabbing the extra drink he got and going after you. “Damn, calm down! Okay, if I were asking you out, you’d totally say yes then, right?”

You turned towards Adam. “Oh, yeah~ Sure!” A smile graced your lips though nothing about it was real as your face immediately fell. “If you were asking me out.” You pointedly spoke before facing forward again.

“Okay, then I’m asking you out.” His words made you freeze, eyes widening. 

“What?” You swiveled to stare at him, now realizing he wasn’t joking. “Why?”

“Cuz you’re hot as shit.” He said instantly. “And so am I. Come on, who wouldn’t want to get it on with the original dick, am I right?” He laughed loudly before calming once again. “I’m so right.”

“Right…” You began walking once more, him following quickly though he did his best to do so indifferently. You stopped in front of the elevator before hitting the button to call for it.

“So, what d’you say hot tits, you down?” He held out the extra drink for you, shaking it as an offering. You stared at it wearily before slowly taking it. To be honest, you never really thought Adam would ever ask you out. Not to mention, he's the ultimate dickmaster that you can’t stand ninety percent of the time. It wouldn’t hurt to actually go on a date considering it's been… A while, since you had done so. As much as you could just say ‘Fuck it,’ and agree to it, there’s one rule you can’t seem to put behind you, even for the first man. 

A loud ding drew your attention, the doors opening in front of you. Adam was nearly bursting, impatiently awaiting your response as he stared down at you. 

“I uh… I don’t date coworkers.” You stepped into the elevator and turned, cautiously looking up at him. His brows dipped, eyes filled with shock at your answer, crossed with a glitching phase of his mask. It all soon changed to anger.

“Yeah, whatever, bitch!” He flipped you off, in between the gap of the closing doors. “Didn’t want to tap that uptight ass anyways.” 

His response wasn’t a surprise, but that expression he had. It wasn’t like something you’d seen on him before. He was always confident, flying around Heaven with the biggest ego you’d ever seen. But just then, he’d seemed like your words had actually affected him. 

You mulled over it a moment before taking a deep breath and sipping from the drink in your hand. Your eyes widened when the flavors coated your tongue before swallowing. Your favorite drink from the cafe you frequented. You hummed with a soft smile before taking another sip. Maybe dating a coworker would be that terrible. 

After completing all of your tasks, you finally made your way back to the office. Thoughts fading back to your interaction with Adam before you left earlier. Had he really been into you in a way that was more than just putting you at the butt of a joke? Perhaps, he was just doing it to rile you up before the meeting with Hell. Speaking of…

You noted the time on the clock sitting on your desk, a fluttering feeling crawled across your stomach. Your eyes followed the slow moving line in its circling motion. Less than five minutes. Just a little longer. A smile broke onto your lips. How long has it been since you last saw him?

You sighed, arm bending to rest your cheek into your hand. You melted the weight into it. Over the past few years, he had been going through a lot but you slowly witnessed him overcoming the darkness he faced. He began making his dorky jokes and even flashing his devilish smile again.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“No one!” You jumped at the voice, glancing in the direction of it and seeing Emily standing in the entrance of your office. Her brows shot up at your reaction. “Em!” You cleared your throat. “Um, hi! I uh–” You grabbed some papers and straightened them, clacking the stack a few times on the surface. “I have my meeting downstairs soon.”

“Yes!” She waltzed in happily. “That’s actually why I’m here!” She now stood at the front of your desk. “I wanted to wish you luck! You always seem so busy around this time of the year, and somehow you always seem your happiest!” 

Your eyes widened. “Uh, I do?”

“Yeah. I just admire how much compassion you have for being one of Heaven’s main connections to Hell!” She grinned brightly.

“Oh, uh.” You turned away, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Thanks, Em.” 

“You’ll tell me everything when you come back, right?”

You smiled at her. “Of course.” You stood, noting the time was seconds away. “We’ll do it over tea.”

She bounced happily, hands clapping together as she did. “Yay!”

You appeared in front of your desk at the Embassy, a certain blonde haired man was in front of you with a nervous smile. Immediately you returned it upon seeing him, your breath hitched before finally returning to speak one word. “Lucifer.” 

“Y/N.” He all but melted at the sound of his name, using his cane to hold his upper body weight before clearing his throat. “Uh, Hi. Hello. H-How are you?” He pulled at the collar of his shirt.

“Oh, another year gone. Though it’s always nice to see you again.” You brought out the sign-in scroll and feather pen. “It seems once a year really isn’t enough time for us to chat, don’t you think.”

“Y-Yeah. Ha ha! Agreed!” His fingers brushed against yours as he took the pen. His rose cheeks heated as he began signing his name. “You look…” He dotted the ‘I’ of his name. Glancing up to see you smiling down at him. Beautiful. He straightened up again. “G-Great!” 

You giggled. “You’re not half bad yourself.” The two items disappeared in a flash of gold petals. The door to your right opened. It was nearly routine at this point. His eyes flickered between it and you. 

“I’ll uh,” He pointed with his cane before glancing stiffly. “I’ll just uh, get going now.” 

“I’ll be waiting.” Your eyes never left his departing figure. The crisp white suit draped over his shoulders nicely. Hair flicking out from underneath his hat in a bouncy quaff with each step. You felt it again, the stir behind your navel. A shuddering breath filled your lungs before releasing once more. Just seeing him made coming down here worth it.

And although you observed him, you didn’t notice the very details that had the man nearly throwing up in the lobby. He was sweating, feeling drenched in it as he slowly took each step towards the conference room door. He could do this. He already talked himself up about it! He’s ready for this! 

He took a deep breath, exhaling sharply through his nose. His posture straightened and he nodded to himself. “Y/N!” He turned around, as he called your name, a bit louder than he meant to. You looked up. Eyes meeting and he nearly forgot what he was going to say. “Uh…” Okay he forgot everything he was going to say. “Um. Well,” He averted his stare, finding something else to reacquaint his thoughts with his mouth. “So, I know it's been awhile, and we’ve. Well what I mean is. You and I, together…” His eyes widened, “Not! Together! I just mean, we’ve met, and have for sometime now and it’d be nice to be together–” His hands frantically waved about trying to explain his point. “Not like that, I just mean, to sit down together and talk, but like um, maybe with some food, or like uh…” 

“Dinner?” You questioned, trying to figure out exactly what he was saying. It felt like deciphering code.

“Yes!” A lightbulb went off in his head as he pointed at you, face filling with excitement. “Us and dinner!” He finally seemed to find his bearings. “Would you like to join me… For dinner?” Lucifer was nervous, sure, but he also spent way too much time talking to himself in the mirror, hyping himself up for this very moment, just to let it go by for a whole year again. 

You simply stared, mouth opening in shock. The fluttery feeling in your stomach from before crawled up into your throat as you replayed his words. He wants to have dinner? With you? You smiled, and brightly, too. He noticed and felt confidence surge through him. Why did this make you so happy? To eat dinner with the only person to make you feel like this. 

“I would love to!” To eat dinner with Lucifer… Lucifer. Your once joyful feeling began to fade away. What would he say… Smile faltering. A heavy liquid filling your lungs as you try to gulp it down. To find a clean breath for some sort of release. “I just…” You glanced away, seeing Lucifer’s expression begin to mimic your own. “I just don’t think… It could work.” You explained. “With me being up there and you… down here.” Your eyes stung, not meeting with him.

He felt a piercing clutch within his chest. Head downturned and eyes shut in defeat. “Right.”

─── ⋆⋅

“I don’t understand why it’s not working. Think Charlie, think! Think, think, think, think, think…” Charlie mumbled while pacing her thought-board. The residents of her hotel watched, each with their own expressions. Mostly worried, though Niffty seemed excited.

Angel stepped closer, “Yikes.” He held two of his hands up, the other two placed on his hips as he leaned forward. Husk was pouring a morning drink–if you could call whiskey that–into his mug as he watched the chaos unfold.

“We do trust falls every morning… We talked about our dreams and goals…” The mumbling from the princess continued. “Come on, come on, come on!” She moved another red string across the board.

“Charlie?” Vaggie spoke up. “Sweetie… You, uh, you good?”

Said girl turned, “Nope, no! Not really! Ha Ha!” Her eyes were noticeably red and veined and she shifted through some more of her papers. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn’t working!” The last word was forced out with a little bit of irritation as she scrunched the paper she held. “We’ve done trust falls. We’ve tried sharing our feelings. We only have a couple months left before the angels come.” A maniacal laughter released from her, horns appearing briefly. “And at this rate–”

“Maybe it’s time–” 

“No!” Charlie cut her girlfriend off.

“–to ask–”

Charlie ran up to Vaggie, squishing the girl's cheeks. “Don’t! Say it!” Her eyes were viciously wide as she begged.

“–your dad.” The princess released a guttural groan, her head deflating along with her entire body at those words. “Charlie, I know you don’t want to, but we need every advantage we can get.”

“He let the extermination happen to begin with! They just had a meeting at the Embassy and said, ‘Go ahead and kill everyone!’” Charlie inhaled deeply, a gasp insinuated a brilliant idea entered her mind. She turned towards her thought-board. “That’s it!”

“Kill everyone?” Vaggie asked.

“No!” She turned back. “A meeting with Heaven!”

“Didn’t we already try that?”

“Well, yeah… With Adam. He was an ass~hole. But he isn’t in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top!” She pointed to the sky. “There’s sure to be some angels who will listen.” 

“And how do we do that?” Vaggie asked. 

“Well… I guess we could ask my dad…” Charlie whipped out her phone, scrolling through her contacts before reaching ‘Dad.’ She stared at it, finger hovering with hesitation.

“What’s the holdup?” Husk asked. “You got daddy issues?” He inquired, causing Vaggie to glare at him.

“No!” Charlie hid her phone. “We just… Have never been close.” She walked a few steps away, bringing her phone back out to stare at it. “After he and Mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls… Sometimes. But only if he’s bored or like, needs me to do something. It got better for a bit but this past year has been super bad. And weird.”

Husk smirked. “Daddy issues.” He muttered towards the others.

“Okay, well, if you can’t call the big dick in charge, then who?” Angel leaned over the back of the couch.

Charlie thought for a moment, recalling the Embassy, her meeting with Adam, and how it went horribly wrong and… You. You!

“That’s it!” She put her phone away, grabbing her jacket from the floor before putting it on. She began brushing her fingers through her messy hair, trying to flatten out the stray piece. 

“Woah! Woah, what?” Vaggie came closer and tried to calm her down while also helping to fix the blonde’s hair.

“The Embassy!” Charlie bounced in place. “We have to go to the Embassy! There’s someone I know who can help! Come on!” She grabbed Vaggie’s wrist and bolted out the doors and through the streets of the pride ring. 

With the pace Charlie set, dragging her girlfriend along, it didn’t take very long to arrive at the Embassy. The architecture of it stood out from all the other buildings in the city. Vaggie took one look at it and groaned to herself. The princess slammed the front door open and strutted inside, having let go of Vaggie. Her arms swayed confidently down the aisle, eyes set on a certain golden bell.

“Uh, Charlie?” Vaggie followed behind her hesitantly, glancing around. “There’s no one here.”

“Oh, there will be~!” Her eyes narrowed in on the shiny object before slapping the small knob on top. A familiar chime echoed throughout the place. The shining gold light appeared, flower petals and feathers fading into view and fluttering giggles became louder.

“So then I see her get spun out from the room, papers flying everywhere, and the all-knowing Dick is rifting his ass off like ee-oouh…” You opened your eyes finally, seeing as you weren’t lounging by the pool with your angel posse anymore. No, instead you were at the Embassy. You turn around to see a familiar someone, her face glaring at you as she stands with a strong posture. You sighed, putting on your best smile. “You know, when I said ‘Come again,’ I didn’t actually mean so soon.”

Charlie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She came looking for answers. And she was gonna get them! “Hi, Y/N. Nice to see you again.” She spoke flatley though she did her best to make it seem light and airy. You glanced past her and noticed another girl standing. She had long white hair, part of the framing pieces covered her left eye along with a pink eyepatch. Your brow rose, stare shifting above her head before connecting to her avoiding eye. “Oh, right!” The blonde’s demeanor changed as she displayed the woman with a big smile. “Vaggie, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Vaggie. Now that introductions are out of the way, we were wonder if you could–”

“Heaven doesn’t have any plans to meet for another three months.” You interrupted, looking down at your freshly done manicure. “All other inquiries must be brought up then.” You glanced up at her. “Bye-bye, now!” You waved with a wiggle of your fingers and went back to where you were, seeing the gold gates once more and walking towards them.

“Y/N?” Saint Peter voiced as he saw you walking towards the gate, “I didn’t know you were scheduled for a visit today?” He noticed your eye twitch.

“I wasn’t.” Once the gate fully opened, you went to take a step and you were in front of your desk again. Your widened eyes soon squinted at the culprit, seeing her hand still hovering over the bell.  

Her face was inquisitive, curious, looking from the bell to your appearance once more. You watched as she finally connected the dots to your summoning. She nervously laughed. “I just have a question and I re~ally need your help to answer it!” She spoke all too quickly as if you’d disappear before she could ask.

This girl was annoyingly determined, you’ll give her that. Unfortunately, ignoring it won’t make it go away. You crossed your arms. “You have ten seconds.” 

Her expression lit up with a smile, “Okay, so, I was wondering, and I didn’t really want to ask my dad, but I thought maybe you might know better anyways since you work so closely with Adam and might have some connections with anyone higher–”

“Five seconds.”

“Is there any way to arrange another meeting with Heaven?”

“What?”

“And not just, Adam-Heaven. I mean like Heaven-Heaven, you know?” Her hopeful eyes were large as she stared, awaiting. Like a small puppy.

“No.” You disappeared. Again.

“Charlie, let’s just go.” Vaggie tried to convince her girlfriend but the princess was not having it. She released a mighty breath before raising her hand and slamming it down on the bell. Fast, repeatedly. The constant chimes were endless.

You had barely caught a glimpse of Peter before being called back down. Arriving to the incessant rings of your bell. An obvious irk appeared as you watched the girl in front of you glare at the golden bell. Her eyes didn’t even raise to meet you, you just watched as her tongue poked out in concentration, her focus remained on her task. 

“Charlie…” Vaggie wearily called out.

“Enough!” Your hands shot forward, pressing down on hers and the bell all together, the ring dulled as you cupped the shell. 

The princess inhaled sharply, feeling your warm touch on her slightly colder hand. “You’re… Here?” She asked quietly, eyes glancing up to meet your irritated glare. “Like… like physically here! I thought angels didn’t come down here!” You rolled your eyes at her words before releasing her hand from your grasp and the bell.

You scoffed. “Of course I’m here.” You crossed your arms. “An angel must be physically present in Heaven’s Embassy at all times. Though we altered the rules slightly because, well, nothing happens down here.” You lightly laughed, shaking your head. “Could you imagine if we left this place unsupervised? Anyways!” You perked up once more. “As much as I would, just lo~ve to assist you, unfortunately there’s no possible way to request a meeting with heaven before the next one. How about you ask your father.” You narrowed your eyes on her.

“I can’t!” The irritation pierced through her tone. “He’s not… I just… He won’t bother with what I’m trying to do!” 

Her words caused your brows to crease. “Why? Is he…” You cleared your throat and turned your head away. “Is he okay?” Your eyes flickered to her. 

“I don’t– I mean, I guess?” She squinted at you. “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t!” You huffed, causing her and now Vaggie to stare at you in confusion. “Listen, I can’t help. See you in three months!” Gone. Once more. Not even taking the time to hear them out.

“Ugh!” Charlie’s hands came to her forehead, dragging down her entire face. “She’s not listening!”

“I told you. Angels won’t understand, we can’t trust them.” Vaggie tried to meet eyes with her. A comforting grip was welcomed on the princess’ shoulder. Charlie sighed, glancing down at the bell. Her hand rose, reaching out to ring it once more. 

“If she won’t listen…” She spoke softly, fingers getting closer. “Maybe she’ll understand once she sees it!” Her idea blossomed a new light within her eyes. Hand snatching the bell, careful to avoid the knob on top and dulling the sound of the shell before it could chime. 

Vaggie’s eyes widened, “Ch-Charlie!” She watched her girlfriend brush past her and book it towards the exit.

“Come on!” The blonde shouted, hands tucking the gold bell into her side as she bolted out the doors.

Vaggie ran after her, jaw slacked. “You–you can’t just take that!” Damn! When did her girl run so fast? “Charlie! Put it back!”

“It’s just for a second!” Of course the justification doesn’t make up for the fact that she is steali–borrowing! Definitely borrowing–the shiny angel bell of summoning. Exactly! She was just borrowing it! She’ll put it back! She just needed to show you exactly what she’s doing. She’ll do anything before having to call her father. Anything.

She bounded through the hotel doors, a bright and cheery smile on her face. The sound caused those in the lobby to snap their heads in her direction. She paid no mind as she ran towards her thought-board. 

“This’ll work! I just know this is gonna work!” She stepped happily side-to-side, clutching the bell preciously to her chest with both hands. “She’s gonna see everything we’ve done! And surely she’ll see it’s worth bringing it up to all her friends and even try to help us! This is perfect!” Niffty appeared, copying Charlie's bounce almost exactly with a huge grin on her face and giggling maniacally. 

“Charlie!” Vaggie yelled, out of breath and standing at the front doors. “Don’t you dare ring that–”

Ding~!

The same heavenly ring sounded upon impact, there was a pause as Charlie waited. The bell held poshly in her hands as her widened puppy eyes stared at it. 

The familiar flourish of glittering golds and fluttering flowers swirled, drawing the crowd into the warming glow. Angel and Sir Pencious creeped closer, awed expressions curiously enraptured by whatever Charlie had brought into the Hotel. 

Husk began pouring another glass of bourbon. “Here we go.” He said, pulling the drink up and gulping a sip down.

The princess sprung in place, watching as the feather cocoon unfurled to reveal none other than you. Your eyes were shut, expression invoking an unexplainable frustration as you released a sigh. “You really know how to ruffle an angel the wr–” Words fell off your lips as soon as your eyes opened, seeing the foreign walls surrounding you. “Where am I?”

You slowly peered at your environment, the dark crimson coated nearly everything in sight; the dingy carpet, the clawed wallpaper, the crusty couch. The gold accents were dull, completely opposite to what you would see upstairs. A bug crawled across the floor and a small… Demon? Ran after it while laughing.  You finally landed on those gawking at you. Three people stood behind the couch. A tall spider-looking fella, a cat-like one with wings, and one that resembled a snake. A lurking shadow loomed from the balcony atop of the stairs, watching. Waiting.

When you turned towards the agonizing pain in your side that seemed to dig further and further in, she was joyfully holding your bell in her hands, a grin presented guiltily. “I am sooo~ sorry but I just really needed you to see exactly what we were doing here an–”

“Stop!” You shouted at her, wings presenting themselves widely and at their highest peak. Your voice echoed with something powerful, something both heavenly and haunting all at once. It was silent for a moment, the cutting tone of your voice froze everyone in place. A seething breath escaped between your gritted teeth.

“Alright, is this what I think it is?” One of the people behind you with a thick accent asked as he shifted his weight onto one hip. He had no care in breaking the thick tension that hung in the air.

“Who iss thiss?” Another one asked, his S’s pulled out as he spoke, eyes flickering between you and Charlie.

“Heh heh.” The princess looked warily before she jumped forward, arms stretched out to present you. “Everyone, this is Y/N!” You simply squint your eyes at the blonde as she bounded about.  “Y/n this is Angel Dust and Sir Pentious. They’re guests at the hotel and undergoing the rehabilitation process!” She then walked over to the other two. “And this is Husk, and this is Niffty! They work here.” 

“Shiny!” The shorter one, Niffty, snatched the bell from Charlie’s hands. Her single pupil dilated as she stared at it. You snapped your fingers, the item disappearing into thin air. 

“Are you trying to piss Heaven off?” You glared at the princess. “Or just me.”

“No! No, no, no.” She stormed towards her thought-board. “I know this isn’t the best situation but if you please. Please! Just look and hear out what I’m doing. I just know you’ll understand.”

“How is Feathers over here supposed to help?” Angel asked, his eyes sizing you up with a tumb jutted out in your direction.

“Shee~e works for the Angel Support Services!” Charlie nervously chuckled, gauging everyone’s reaction. “In Heaven!”

“Angel Support Services?” The spider raised a brow, a set of hands on his hips while the other’s crossed in front of him. A laugh bubbled, “You’re tellin’ me you work for ASS ?” 

You groaned, hand sliding down your face. “Adam’s doing…” 

“Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I know all~ about working for ass.” He smirked, wiggling his hips side-to-side to accent the word. “I just didn’t think Heaven got down and dirty like that.” 

“How the hell did you get an angel down here?” Husk's question was forcibly shocked, his tone spiking as did his brow.

“You heard it here first, folks!” Static surrounds your ears before coming to a dull buzz. A man clad in a red suit appeared from an inky shadow, cane in hand and an unnerving smile revealing his sharp canines. “Yes! An angel indeed, seen with my very eyes!” His hand shot out, snatching yours. “Name’s Alastor, a pleasure to mee–” The sizzle from your hand in his made him break the connection immediately, his eye twitched but grin never faltering, though it was now strained. He looked down at his hand, noting the obvious burn on his palm. His pupils slid to you. “Quite the bite you got there.” His voice altered slightly, muffle through his odd filter.

“Don’t. touch me.” You turned away from him. The sound of radio frequency slowly began growing louder until you snapped your head in his direction. It silenced immediately, his head tilting to the side and the smile never changed. It just grew. 

Charlie scooted herself into your vision, putting a buffer between you two. “This is Alastor!” She displayed him. “He manages the hotel.”

“Yes, I’ve always thought this little dream of Charlie’s was worthy of an investment.” He added, holding out his mic'd cane to the lobby.

You ignored him and stared at said girl, seeing her confidence fading, the cheery smiling now slipping the longer she tried to convince you. Perhaps this ‘little dream’ of hers wasn't bound to fail from the start. Was it pity? No… Something else. You took a moment, looking at her closely. It was her eyes. 

The same ones you got to see once a year.

You heaved put an exasperated breath, turning towards her thought-board. Eyes grazing over her various pages and drawings. The red strings connect certain areas in hopes of creating more brainstorming opportunities. “Friendship circle?” You read aloud. 

“Y-Yeah!” Charlie swerved past the couch to stand in front of you. “I-It’s where we all sit down in a circle and say something nice about one another. I came up with it.” She walked forward and pointed at a few more pieces of paper that were connected with pink string. “It’s to help recognize kindness within your friends and have compassion for others! And–” 

“Hey, uh Sweetie.” Vaggie walked forward, her hand setting on her girlfriend's shoulder as she cleared her throat. “Why don’t you ask about the meeting?” She whispered out the last bit.

“Right! The meeting!” Charlie looked at you, seeing your wings flutter as she spoke. You remained stagnant, eyes flickering across her pinned papers. “The reason we want to meet with Heaven before the one at the Embassy is because we need more time!”

You tilted her head at this, eyelids narrowing. “More time?” 

“If I can just get into Heaven to meet with someone higher than Adam before the next extermination, maybe, just maybe–”

“What?” Your neck nearly snapped with how fast you turned towards her.

 “–I can convince them to work together and–” Charlie clearly didn’t hear you as she continued, but you froze. The word repeats like a drum within your thoughts. You glanced back at her drawings. “Extermination…?” You whispered, eyes shaking as her voice slowly drowned to a muffle in the background. Your glazed over eyes focus on a drawing of a figure very similar to one particular man. The very first man. You felt your jaw clench at the sight. Adam.

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tags :: @reinam00n @rebecca-hvnstn @sirenetheblogger @ems-emeralds @angelicwillows @lvstyangel @wobblesthewaffle @saintomie @certainlygay @ravenswritingroom @nanamunath

[lunajay33]

Why Me?

•🤎🐺🪵🍂🌑•

Summary: Bella and Y/n are twins but when Bella and Renee moved away you stayed with Charlie always growing closer with the people around La push, but when Bella comes back it’s like everything is flipped around, Bella becomes distant obsessed with the cullens, you find solace with the guys at the beach but things change after the first year and suddenly you’re all alone, will anyone come back, will Paul your best friend, your forever crush come save you from depression

Pairing: Paul Lahote x f!reader

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts

Part.2

•Masterlist•

It was a simple life in forks but I loved it this is where I’m meant to be, I can’t explain it but it calls to me, the rainy weather, the cool breeze, the calm beach at La push, even my group of friends made my life feel complete

Plus I had dad or as Bella called him, Charlie, after mom and Bella left when I was only 4 it was usually just the two of us, suppers out at the cafe or cozy nights at Jacob’s as they watched the game, I kept him a float after the devastating heart break even thought I was young, mom tried to take me with them the night everything happened but I held on to dad screaming for him to keep me, and here we are today just me and him it was perfect everything was exactly how it should be, then we got the call Bella was moving back I was nervous at first I haven’t seen her since she stopped visiting years ago

“I’ll be back later, be safe and if you go out leave a note okay sweetie?” Dad stated as he picked up the keys to his police cruiser

“Okay dad! Drive safe” we shared a hug before he left leaving me alone and anytime I was free I’d either walk through the forest behind my house or hang out at the beach with Paul or Jacob

I pulled on a coat and hiking boots heading to the over grown trees lining the backyard, the weather is not too cold but it’s still over cast, the trees are lined with a thick moss the ground littered with pine cones and varying animals tracks

Sometimes I’d find Paul trying to blow off steam out here so hopefully I’ll come across him today needing my best friend right now with all the stress I’ve been feeling about Bella’s return

After a bit more walking I heard groaning as I approached the cliff we sometimes would hang out on, I rounded a tree and saw Paul sitting there huffing and puffing, he’s always had anger issues growing up but I was always there for him and for some reason I was the only one to calm him down

Silently I sat next to him laying my head on his shoulder his arm instinctly wrapping around my waist quickly finding comfort in each others company

“Remember when we were nine and you were so angry that Jacob took my ice cream, you pushed him into a puddle and got me a new ice cream and I had to keep you calm away from Jake the rest of my party” I stated laughing remember how cute he was and that’s the day my crush on him started which grew over the years but I’d never tell him that, I can’t risk what I have with him

He sighed squeezing my hip his breathing calming down

“I couldn’t help it you were so excited all day for your ice cream and that look in your face when he took it mad me so mad, you know I hate seeing you upset”

“Don’t get soft on me Lahote” he huffed out a laugh

“What’s wrong Paul? Anything I can do to help?” I asked finally looking up at him

He looked hesitant his eyes looking anywhere but me, I drew my hand through his long beautiful black hair trying to ease his worries

“Just a lot lately, things with the older tribe members don’t worry about it, how about you Bella’s coming today you still nervous?”

“Yeah what if we’re not like how we were as kids, what if she doesn’t like me anymore I mean I know I can be a burden sometimes but I just want my sister”

“Hey what did I tell you about talking about yourself like that, she’s gonna love you and you’re not a burden why do you think the guys and everyone around you loves you?”

Sometimes when he’d get sweet talking like this it only made me love him more, feeling the blush spread across my cheeks I pushed his arm playfully trying to hide my feelings

“You’ll always be here for me right Paul, even when we both have stuff going on you’ll be here?” My hands fiddling together

“Always”

It’s been a week since Bella’s moved back and it’s been nice, we reconnected and talked before bed most nights just catching up on everything, and it was nice to have a friend at school now, I never really had friend at the forks school, I tried but no one ever bothered, plus all my friends down at La push is better than anyone here

Sitting at my usual lunch table by the windows I glance over seeing Bella with her whole new table of friends, she said she’d sit with me if it bothered me to be alone but I didn’t want to get in the way of her making new friends plus I saw how she’d rather be with them it was the perfect spot to look at the cullens, who she’d make goggly eyes at every lunch

But the day dragged on as usual but when that final bell rang I was free, I ran out the door heading straight to where Paul usually parked to pick me up but he wasn’t there which was strange he was never late

“Hey y/n do you need a ride?” Bella called from a few spots down waiting at her truck

“Oh ummm no I should be fine maybe he’s just running late” I waved her off just hoping he was okay

I sat on the stairs watching as the cars emptied the parking lot one by one till there was no one but me and the setting sun

I sighed realizing he wasn’t coming so I started walking home, once I got through the door I dialed Paul on the house phone my heart beating anxiously

The tones rang one after another but no answer so I called Jacob instead and of course he answered immediately

“Hello Black residence” his chipper voice always made me smile he was such a sweet guy

“Hi Jake it’s y/n Paul didn’t pick me up today and I was wondering do you know if he’s okay?”

“Oh no I haven’t heard…..” I heard a mumbled voice behind him then the voice changed

“Who is this?” And I recognized that voice it was Sam Uley

“Hey Sam it’s me y/n swan! Ummm sorry if I interrupted something I was just calling worried about Paul, have you seen him around?”

“Oh he’s gonna be under the weather for a while he’s caught a stomach bug, we don’t wanna risk you getting sick too”

“Can I visit just to drop off soup or something?” My heart ached knowing what he’d say

“I’m sorry honey not yet, it’ll be awhile just give him time”

“But……but he’s my best friend” my voice wavered haven’t never being apart from him for a long period of time there was this pull to him I always felt so being apart felt…….wrong

“Just give it time honey, I’ve gotta go, goodnight” and with that he hung up the phone felt heavy in my hand

I’ve seen Paul every day since he got his licence, he’s a year older so when he got it he promised to pick me up everyday to make sure I was safe, Bella can drive me now but it’s not the same after a long day I’d get in his truck and cuddle up to his side and drive down to the beach and relax

“Sweetie why are you crying?” Dad broke me out of my thoughts as he hung up the phone

“Oh it’s nothing just….pauls sick I’m just worried”

“That kid is strong he’ll be just fine” he smiled patting my shoulder before he got a soda from the fridge

The days dragged on and I thought he’d atleast pick up the phone when I called or even call me but nothing, not a word and now a month has gone by I thought I’d have Bella but she quickly became all involved with Edward Cullen, the older member of the tribe weren’t quite fond of their family they told me stories but I thought it was all just legends never thinking too much about them

So now without Bella and Paul I was alone, my world felt flipped upside down, everything use tk be perfect but now I felt ripped of who I was, I fell hollow, drained, the all crushing depression, I can’t sleep evident by the dark circles under my eyes, I can barely eat shown by the hollows covering my body and the clothes that hung on my body, I felt like I’m dying, I’m fading

I’ve never been through a break up but this can’t be how it feels this has to be something different, something more painful

School was like hell, even worse than before, Bella convinced me some days to sit with her and the cullens and Alice was always trying to cheer me up but nothing was ever permanent

I picked at my rice as Emmett bragged about how he beat Edward in a baseball game

“Still not feeling well?” Jasper asked next to me, the first time I’ve ever heard him speak

“I think somethings wrong with me, I think I’m dying” everyone stopped what they were talking about and eyes were on me but I didn’t care anymore

“Why would you say that y/n?” Alice spoke

I sighed excusing myself from the table walking away, they couldn’t understand but maybe the elders could, I called dad and he said he’d be at the school to pick me up seeing as work was going slow

A few minutes later the cruiser pulled up and I got in the front seat

“Sick again?” He asked worry written all over his face

I’ve been calling him to pick me up from school a lot, either from spells of nausea throwing up or just the overwhelming depression

“Can you take me to Emily’s?” She was like a aunt to me always so sweet and that’s what I needed right now

“Of course sweetie” the drive was silent until we pulled into the gravel drive way seeing Sam and Emily step out

“Try and relax okay, I’ll pick you up whenever you’d like just call” I managed a smile and got out seeing him drive away

I walked up the porch steps straight into Emily’s arms

“Oh honey what’s happened we haven’t seen you in so long” she said stepping back taking in my clearly broken and sick appearance, the baggy brown hoodie that use to fit relative tight and some ratty sweat pants, my hair pulled into two messy braids

“Somethings wrong Emily, I didn’t know who else to ask” finally letting the tears stream down my face, she squeezed my hands giving Sam a desperate look as she led me inside

I sat on the couch as she dropped a fluffy blanket over my legs telling Sam to make me a hot chocolate

“What’re you feeling hun? How did all this start” her voice always soothed me

“I can’t eat or sleep, I can’t feel it’s like I’m hollow inside and it hurts, not just emotionally I physically get sick all the time, dad brought me to the doctors and they say nothing is medically wrong” Sam placed the drink on the table infront of me and sat next to Emily on the couch across from me

“When did this all start?” He asked

“The day Paul left me, I know it sounds crazy but…….its likes a piece of me died when he stopped coming around” they looked at eachother with knowing looks

“You’re not crazy”

“Then what? Do you know what’s wrong with me?” I ask almost pleading

“I might, how about you and Emily catch up and rest, I’ll be back soon” and with that he left leaving me confused

The sun started setting and I didn’t want to bother Emily more that needed

“I think I’m gonna head home, thanks for having me today” I said pulling on my coat at the door

“Do you want me to call Charlie it’s a long walk hun”

“Oh no I’m…..I need some air I’ll be fine”

“Okay but be safe and call me when you get home so I know everything okay?”

“Okay Em” I faked a smile and left feeling the cool breeze hit me, but I lied theres no going home this time, I’m going to where I last had him, the cliffs

The walk was long and cold but when I finally made it the moon was shining bright over head, dropping to my knees I cried and cried until there was no more tears left

What was the point anymore he’s never coming back so this pain will never go away I feel like I’m fading away anyways

Standing up I neared the cliff edge the sea breeze blowing up from far below

“Maybe in another life I’ll find you Paul” then a quick breeze whooshed past my body opening my eyes I wasn’t at the cliff anymore but in the deep forest

Emmett Cullen right infront of me, confused and upset I step away crossing my arms over my chest

“Emmett why would you stop me, what’re you even doing here” I sigh wanting to just scream

“What the hell were you thinking, why would you try to kill yourself what about Bella what about Charlie?”

“It hurts so much Emmett can you just make it go away, I wanna be okay again”

“This isn’t suppose to happen to you, you’re suppose to be Bella’s sweet shy sister” he sighs pulling me into a tight cold hug, nothing like how it felt with Paul

“Not anymore Em”

“Do you wanna come over I can make you anything you want and I can make a cozy spot for you infront of the fire place”

“Oh I couldn’t impose like that”

“If Bella’s family now so are you” before I could agree a growl rumbled through the trees

Turning a grey wolf the size of a mini van emerged from the trees its eyes piercing at Emmett

“Emmett what do we do?” I ask scared gripping his arm

“Calm down you’ll be okay just trust me okay”

“O…okay” and the next second he was gone in the blink of an eye

He left me, I turn back to the wolf that no longer growled but was whining, getting closer it laid down infront of me nudging my leg with its snout, suddenly the fear dissapeared

I lean down and cautiously rubbed my hand through its soft fur hearing it grumble, sitting in front of it it moved forward laying its head across my lap completely covering it

“You’re quite beautiful, like a gentle giant” rubbing its fur helped sooth me bringing me back to reality of what I almost did tonight

“I can’t believe I almost ended it all tonight, he’ll come back to me soon right? I’ll be happy again someday won’t I?”

I licked at my hand whining

“He promised he wouldn’t leave me, he always said he’d protect me and he always made me happy I don’t know what to do without him”

The wolf got up motioning to get on it back and for some reason I didn’t think twice about it, hopping on I held onto its next as it made its way down the path back the way I came

Right back to Emily’s house

Part.2

Taglist: @lilredcamaro14 @cvmtitss @larissa01-blog2

[visenyaism]

HOTD blog post GRRM posted and almost immediately deleted under the cut for archival purposes

Beware the Butterflies

SEPTEMBER 4, 2024

Profile Pic

Back in July, I promised you some further thoughts about Blood and Cheese… and Maelor the Missing… after my commentary on the first two episodes of HotD season 2, “A Son for a Son” and “Rhaenyra the Cruel.”

Those were terrific episodes: well written, well directed, powerfully acted. A great way to kick off the new season. Fans and critics alike seemed to agree. There was only one aspect of the episodes that drew significant criticism: the handling of Blood and Cheese, and the death of Prince Jaehaerys. From the commentary I saw on line, opinion was split there. The readers of FIRE & BLOOD found the sequence underwhelming, a disappointment, watered down from what they were expecting. Viewers who had not read the book had no such problems. Most of them found the sequence a real gut-punch, tragic, horrifying, nightmarish, etc. Some reported being reduced to tears.

I found myself agreeing with both sides.

In my book, Aegon and Helaena have three children, not two. The twins, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, are six years old. They have a younger brother, Maelor, who is two. When Blood and Cheese break in on Helaena and the kids, they tell her they are debt collectors come to exact revenge for the death of Prince Lucerys: a son for a son. As Helaena has two sons, however, they demand that she choose which one should die. She resists and offers her own life instead, but the killers insist it has to be a son. If she does not name one, they will kill all three of the children. To save the life of the twins, Helaena names Maelor. But Blood kills the older boy, Jaehaerys, instead, while Cheese tells little Maelor that his mother wanted him dead. (Whether the boy is old enough to understand that is not at all certain).

That’s not how it happens on the show. There is no Maelor in HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, only the twins (both of whom look younger than six, but I am no sure judge of children’s ages, so I can’t be sure how old they are supposed to be). Blood can’t seem to tell the twins apart, so Helaena is asked to reveal which one is the boy. (You would think a glance up his PJs would reveal that, without involving the mother). Instead of offering her own life to save the kids, Helaena offers them a necklace. Blood and Cheese are not tempted. Blood saws Prince Jaehaerys’s head off. We are spared the sight of that; a sound effect suffices. (In the book, he lops the head off with a sword).

It is a bloody, brutal scene, no doubt. How not? An innocent child is being butchered in front of his mother.

I still believe the scene in the book is stronger. The readers have the right of that. The two killers are crueler in the book. I thought the actors who played the killers on the show were excellent… but the characters are crueler, harder, and more frightening in FIRE & BLOOD. In the show, Blood is a gold cloak. In the book, he is a former gold cloak, stripped of his office for beating a woman to death. Book Blood is the sort of man who might think making a woman choose which of her sons should die is amusing, especially when they double down on the wanton cruelty by murdering the boy she tries to save. Book Cheese is worse too; he does not kick a dog, true, but he does not have a dog, and he’s the one who tells Maelor that his mom wants him head. I would also suggest that Helaena shows more courage, more strength in the book, by offering her own own life to save her son. Offering a piece of jewelry is just not the same.

As I saw it, the “Sophie’s Choice” aspect was the strongest part of the sequence, the darkest, the most visceral. I hated to lose that. And judging from the comments on line, most of the fans seemed to agree.

When Ryan Condal first told me what he meant to do, ages ago (back in 2022, might be) I argued against it, for all these reasons. I did not argue long, or with much heat, however. The change weakened the sequence, I felt, but only a bit. And Ryan had what seemed to be practical reasons for it; they did not want to deal with casting another child, especially a two-year old toddler. Kids that young will inevitably slow down production, and there would be budget implications. Budget was already an issue on HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, it made sense to save money wherever we could. Moreover, Ryan assured me that we were not losing Prince Maelor, simply postponing him. Queen Helaena could still give birth to him in season three, presumably after getting with child late in season two. That made sense to me, so I withdrew my objections and acquiesced to the change.

I still love the episode, and the Blood and Cheese sequence overall. Losing the “Helaena’s Choice” beat did weaken the scene, but not to any great degree. Only the book readers would even notice its absence; viewers who had never read FIRE & BLOOD would still find the scenes heart-rending. Maelor did not actually DO anything in the scene, after all. How could he? He was only two years old.

There is another aspect to the removal of the young princeling, however.

Those of you who hate spoilers should STOP READING HERE. Spoilers will follow, at least for the readers among you. If you have never read FIRE & BLOOD, maybe it does not matter, because all I am going to “spoil” here are things that happen in the book that may NEVER happen on the series. Starting with Maelor himself.

Sometime between the initial decision to remove Maelor, a big change was made. The prince’s birth was no longer just going to be pushed back to season 3. He was never going to be born at all. The younger son of Aegon and Helaena would never appear.

Most of you know about the Butterfly Effect, I assume.

Yes, there was a movie with that title a few years back. It’s a familiar concept in chaos theory as well. But most science fiction fans were first exposed to the idea in Ray Bradbury’s classic time travel story, “A Sound of Thunder,” wherein a time traveler from the present panics and crushes a butterfly while hunting a T-Rex. When he returns to his own time, he discovers that the world has changed in huge and frightening ways. One dead butterfly has rewritten history. The lesson being that change begets change, and even small and seemingly insignificant alterations to a timeline — or a story — can have a profound effect on all that follows.

Maelor is a two year old toddler in FIRE & BLOOD, but like our butterfly he has an impact on the story all out of proportion to his size. The readers among you may recall that when it appears that Rhaenyra and her blacks are about to capture King’s Landing, Queen Alicent becomes concerned for the safety of Helaena’s remaining children, and takes steps to save them by smuggling them out of the city. The task is given is two knights of the Kingsguard. Ser Willis Fell is commanded to deliver Princess Jaehaera to the Baratheons at Storm’s End, while Maelor is given over to Ser Rickard Thorne to be escorted across the Mander to the protection of the Hightower army on its way to King’s Landing.

Willis Fell delivers Jaehaera safely to the Baratheons at Storm’s End, but Ser Rickard fares less well. He and Maelor get as far as Bitterbridge, where he is revealed as a Kingsuard in a tavern called the Hogs Head. Once discovered, Ser Rickard fights bravely to protect his young charge and bring him to safety, but he does not even make it across the bridge before some crossbows bring him down, Prince Maelor is torn from his arms.. and then, sadly, ripped to pieces by the mob fighting over the boy and the huge reward that Rhaenyra has offered for his capture and return.

Will any of that appear on the show? Maybe… but I don’t see how. The butterflies would seem to prohibit it. You could perhaps make Ser Rickard’s ward be Jaehaera instead of Maelor, but Jaehaera can’t be killed, she has a huge role to play as Aegon’s next heir. Could maybe make Maelor a newborn instead of a two year old, but that would scramble up the timeline, which is a bit of a mess already. I have no idea what Ryan has planned — if indeed he has planned anything — but given Maelor’s absence from episode 2, the simplest way to proceed would be just to drop him entirely, lose the bit where Alicent tries to send the kids to safety, drop Rickard Thorne or send him with Willis Fell so Jaehaera has two guards.

From what I know, that seems to be what Ryan is doing here. It’s simplest, yes, and may make sense in terms of budgets and shooting schedules. But simpler is not better. The Bitterbridge scene has tension, suspense, action, bloodshed, a bit of heroism and a lot of tragedy. Rickard Thorne is a tertiary character at best, most viewers (as opposed to readers) will never know he is gone, since they never knew him at all… but I rather liked giving him his brief moment of heroism, a taste of the courage and loyalty of the Kingsguard, regardless of whether they are black or green.

The butterflies are not done with us yet, however. In the book, when word of Prince Maelor’s death and the grisly manner of his passing (pp. 505) reaches the Red Keep, that proves to be the thing that drives Queen Helaena to suicide. She could barely stand to look at Maelor, knowing that she chose him to die in the “Sophie’s Choice” scene… and now he is dead in truth, her words having come true. The grief and guilt are too much for her to bear.

In Ryan’s outline for season 3, Helaena still kills herself… for no particular reason. There is no fresh horror, no triggering event to overwhelm the fragile young queen.

And the final butterfly follows soon thereafter.

Queen Helaena, a sweet and gentle soul, is much beloved by the smallfolk of King’s Landing. Rhaenyra was not, so when rumors began to arise that Helaena did not kill herself, but rather was murdered at Rhaenyra’s command, the commons are quick to believe them. “That night King’s Landing rose in bloody riot,” I wrote on p. 506 of FIRE & BLOOD. It is the beginning of the end for Rhaenyra’s rule over the city, ultimately leading to the Storming of the Dragonpit and the rise of the Shepherd’s mob that drives Rhaenyra to flee the city and return to Dragonstone… and her death.

Maelor by himself means little. He is a small child, does not have a line of dialogue, does nothing of consequence but die… but where and when and how, that does matter. Losing Maelor weakened the end of the Blood and Cheese sequence, but it also cost us the Bitterbridge scene with all its horror and heroism, it undercut the motivation for Helaena’s suicide, and that in turn sent thousands into the streets and alleys, screaming for justice for their “murdered” queen. None of that is essential, I suppose… but all of it does serve a purpose, it all helps to tie the story lines together, so one thing follows another in a logical and convincing manner.

What will we offer the fans instead, once we’ve killed these butterflies? I have no idea. I do not recall that Ryan and I ever discussed this, back when he first told me they were pushing back on Aegon’s second son. Maelor himself is not essential… but if losing him means we also lose Bitterbridge, Helaena’s suicide, and the riots, well… that’s a considerable loss.

And there are larger and more toxic butterflies to come, if HOUSE OF THE DRAGON goes ahead with some of the changes being contemplated for seasons 3 and 4…

GRRM

[hoonieyun]

letter from: jongseong ⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

on the fifth day of christmas, you asked me what's on my wishlist and i told you all i wanted was forever with my boo... -ariana grance "true love"

pairing: park jongseong x reader

genre: romance/fluff - marriage proposal

warnings: nothing really but always 18+

summary: jongseong proposes on christmas day

christmas herald masterlist ⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

word count: 2932

The drive up to Jay’s winter family cabin up in Northern Washington was long but scenic. It had a lot of beautiful sights and fun pitstops that you’d never see back in South Korea. The two of you were vacationing in his home state for the holidays and after spending a few days in his hometown, your plan was now to drive up to his family’s winter cabin and spend Christmas there with just the two of you. 

You and Jay have been together for almost 3 years now, January 1st would not only be bringing the new year but also marking the 3rd year of you and Jay’s relationship. You two have known each other since Jay moved to Korea from Seattle and it just so happened to be that your mom was from Seattle but moved to Korea when she met your dad. The two of you have been inseperable since. 

Growing up together people would often make comments about how you two looked perfect for each other or just assumed that you two were dating and although you weren’t at the time, you couldn’t help but imagine a life where Jay was your prince charming– until about 3 years ago during your first year of University where Jay drunkely confesses that he’s had a crush on you since the two of you were 16. He embarrassingly tried to ignore it the next day but when you returned with a confession of your own, the two of you would spend the next few weeks dating and this eventually led to him finally asking you to be his girlfriend as the clock struck 12am on the new year. 

The last 3 years of your life have been magical and spending it with your best friend who just happens to be your boyfriend made it all the better. Both of your parents already knew the two of you would eventually end up together, the only question was when. 

“You doing okay, honey? We’re almost there.” Jay says, his calm voice pulling you out of the memories of the last 2 Christmases that you’ve spent together. When you first started dating you spent Christmas with both of your parents, then the next year only with your parents because Jay’s moved back to Seattle, and this year you spent a few days with his family before making the drive up to the cabin like you were doing now. 

“I’m alright, don’t worry honey.” you respond, giving him a warm smile, one that he returns with his own. Warmth. That was a word you could use to describe Jay: warm. 

Even on the coldest nights in Korea or here in Washington where it seems to be cold about 80% of the year, being around Jay was the warmth that you needed to forget about the freezing cold that threatened to nip at your skin, creating goosebumps that littered your body. Even when you weren’t feeling cold, Jay’s warmth was able to provide you with a type of serenity and solace that no one else could. Like he was this beacon of light that instantly soothed you whenever he was around. His kind, caring, and affectionate demeanor was what drew you to him. You truly were the luckiest person alive to be on the receiving end of Jay’s love and you wouldn’t trade him for anyone else in the world because he let you feel the love and warmth you deserved to feel in a world that seemed to be freezing over with an icy cold pandemic that caused people to be unkind and mean spirited. 

Jay glances over at you with that smile that you loved so much, grabbing your hand with his and pressing a kiss onto your knuckles, “I can’t wait to spend this time with you. It’ll be unforgettable.” he says before placing another warm kiss on your skin and setting it back down on your lap so he could drive with both hands on the wheel like the responsible guy that you knew him as. 

After another pitstop to use the restroom and taking photos of the snow covered trees, you arrived at the cabin just a few hours before the sun would start to set. It was Christmas Eve and you and Jay planned to just settle in and have a calm day when you arrive and on Christmas Day you would have a wonderful dinner cooked by Jay and spend Christmas cuddled up in front of a fire most likely watching a Christmas movie you’ve seen x amount of times. 

“We’re here!” Jay says enthusiastically, running out of his seat and over to your side of the car to open it for you but not before puckering up for a kiss as he helps you out of the car. The two of you unload the trunk of your things, just a few bags of clothes and food to last you the week as you’d be there until the New Year. The cabin was beautiful, it was surrounded by the tallest of trees that were covered in snow, several string lights were strung from different trees, and the cabin itself had its own charm. It had high reinforced windows, beautiful oak logs and panels that made up the cabin itself, and near the front of the door you found small footprints in the snow that you could assume to be from a family of deer somewhere in the snowy forest. 

As Jay brought your bags and his into the cabin, you quickly check the hidden compartment of the trunk that lifted and revealed a section that was hidden into the bottom of the trunk itself. There laid your Christmas gift that you hid from Jay before you left for the drive to ensure he didn’t see you pack it into the car. You shut the compartment back up when Jay called for you and decided that you’d bring the gift in another time when Jay was preoccupied with something, perhaps while he’s cooking dinner tomorrow. 

“Coming, honey!” you shout, closing the trunk and carefully skipping over to Jay who waited for you at the entrance of the cabin with his arms open. You quickened your pace as you got closer causing you to slip on the ice on the patio but of course, Jay, your knight in shining armor, was there to catch you before you could even come close to falling. A gasp leaves your lips but it leaves just as quick when you realize Jay has caught you with his strong arms wrapped around your waist. 

“My savior!” you say dramatically, acting like you were about to faint from the situation and Jay decides to play along; throwing your legs into the air and catching you bridal style. “Fear not my lovely maiden! Your knight in shining armor is here to save you from your cute clumsiness.” he announces, walking the two of you and plopping you down onto the couch that was in the living room just a few feet from the front door. “Hey! I’m not clumsy…” you say, pouting.

“Aww, honey– yes you are.” Jay responds, placing a kiss onto your pouty lips in the middle of his sentence. 

The rest of the day goes by fairly quickly as you and Jay spend most of it lounging around in each other’s warmth, laid up on the couch with his arms wrapped around you while you watch various Christmas movies. 

Soon enough, you’re yawning and looking out the window to be met with the big and bright moon gleaming into the cabin through one of the windows; the shadows of snow falling from the sky bleeding into the moonlight. “Sleepy?” Jay asks and you look up at him, head still on his chest before nodding. “Off to bed we go!” he says, picking you up again bridal style and taking you to the bedroom where he tucks you in goodnight with his arms acting as an extra layer of warmth to the fluffy blanket covering the two of you. 

“Goodnight honey.” Jay says with a kiss to your temple, his low and sweet voice almost lulling you to sleep. 

“Goodnight, my love.” you respond quietly, sleep soon taking over as yours and Jay’s light snores fill the room. 

⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

It’s Christmas morning and you’re awoken by the scent of pancakes, bacon, and eggs on the stove; an indicator that Jay is in the kitchen cooking up breakfast for the two of you– before you’re even able to throw the thick blanket off of your body, Jay is emerging from behind the bedroom door and walking over to your with bright eyes and a smile; holding a breakfast bed tray with the most delicious smelling and looking food. Eggs, just the way you like it, a stack of pancakes, crispy bacon, and a cup of hot cocoa in a mug that the two of you had made in a ceramic class one day when you first started dating. 

“Babe!” you say with a bright eyed pout as you watch him come closer with the tray of food, Jay’s smile only getting bigger. “Breakfast for my queen.” he says as he sets it down over your legs. “This looks so delicious, thank you my love.” you say, sharing a kiss as a thank you to him for his kindness. “Did you eat?:” you ask and he nods, “Just a bit, don’t worry I’ll bring myself a plate over, i just want you to have a bite first.” he explains and you scrunch your nose at him with a small smile. 

You soon take a bite of the pancake’s and it’s probably the best pancake you’ve ever had. Jay was a great cook but it’s the simpler foods that he cooks that is your favorite. It induces a nostalgic feeling like you’re 4 years old trying pancakes for the first time and it becomes your hyperfixation for the next month or so where that’s all you can ask your mom to make when she asks you what you want to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

Like Jay. You would choose him at any time of the day. 

You cut him a small piece of the pancake and he takes the bite before excusing himself to grab his own plate so the two of you could have breakfast in bed together. 

⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

It’s about 5PM when you’re doing the finishing touches to your hair and makeup for a Christmas dinner prepared by Jay. Your hair is done in simple voluminous curls that falls over your shoulders that hold up the black velvet dress you’re wearing with red bows and white fur accents. It’s cold but the warmth inside of the cabin allow for you to wear a dress so that you don’t freeze to death during your dinner with Jay. 

You could smell the food he’s cooking from your bathroom and you can’t wait to eat whatever delicious food he’s cooked up. 

“YN, honey! Dinner is ready, my love.” Jay shouts from the dining room and as if you teleported into the room, you’re walking in just as he’s finished setting up the table. He’s wearing a simple white button up that hugged his toned arms and physique and a warmth in your stomach begins to settle as you look at Jay, thinking about a life where he was your husband and not your boyfriend. 

“Wow, you look… wow” Jay says, truly at a loss for words at your beauty. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck as he wraps his arm around your waist; slowly dipping you into a kiss like you were in a romance movie of a lifetime. 

“Let’s eat.” Jay says, pulling out your seat and pushing it in as you sit down; always a gentleman. 

⋆｡˚❆˚ ｡⋆

You’re just about done with dinner when Jay suddenly clears his throat. “I know we agreed to not get each other gifts, but I couldn’t not get you anything.” he says and you teasingly narrow your eyes at him as he grabs a small wrapped box from the cupboard in the kitchen. “Did you really hide it up there?” you ask with a chuckle. 

“Of course, I knew you’d never find it because you can’t reach up there.” he jokingly says and you pout at him as he puts the gift in front of you. Urging you to open it with his eyes, watching you with excitement as you carefully tear into the wrapping paper. 

The item inside leaves you speechless, mouth agape, as you pull it out. Inside was a glass snowglobe, a ballerina in a pink dress spins as you shake the snowglobe. “How did you find this?” you ask, looking up at him with teary eyes. Jay explains that he spent months looking for it and one day when you guys were in Seattle, walking around downtown, the snowglobe caught his eye. He urged you and his parents to continue while he sneakily bought it and rejoined you all at a food stand. 

It wasn’t just any snowglobe. It was the exact snowglobe you had when you were younger and dreamt of becoming a ballerina. Your dreams however, are cut short due to a knee injury, and the snowglobe was the last thing that helped you cope with your dreams as a child. You lost the snowglobe when you had moved cities for college and were devastated when you lost it in the move– and here you were now reunited with the beautiful object that reminded you of your youth and now also serves as a reminder of the kindness and love that Jay has for you. 

You give him a tight hug and endless kisses as a thank you that he doesn’t decline, returning with a hug even tighter and accepting all the kisses you wanted to give to him. 

“Well, I’m glad you ended up getting me something because I got you something too…” you confess and Jay raises his eyebrows with a little smile as you walk away to grab your gift. You had sneakily brought it inside from the car when Jay was in the shower. 

His gift was fairly large so he instantly ran over to you so that you didn’t have to carry it from across the room to where he was sitting; the two of you moved to the living room to open his gift. 

“Merry Christmas, honey.” you mutter and Jay gives you a smile before opening the box, mouth instantly open before he could even fully see the item inside of the large black box. 

“You did not…” Jay says, looking over to you and you’re just nodding excitedly as he continues to open it, pulling out a glossy deep blue guitar that had little white spots that fall into the consellation of taurus– Jay’s sign. 

He had been looking for this guitar for almost 2 years now and had no luck, luckily for you– you were able to find it one day when one of your friend’s was parousing around in the UK. They instantly called you to ask if that was the guitar and you nodded, telling them that you would send the money to purchase it and whatever cost the shipping would be, you’d paid for it. 

“I can’t believe you found it, oh my god…” Jay says, placing the guitar on his thighs as he slightly plays with the strings, a small tune rings through the cabin as he adjusts the tuning. “Thank you, baby. Oh my god I’m speechless…” Jay says, getting up to give you a kiss on the lips like it was the first time you two had ever kissed. 

He puts the guitar back in its case, “I’ve actually got one more gift…” Jay begins to say. 

“YN, you’re absolutely the best thing to happen in my life. I can’t imagine a life without you– you’ve taught me a different type of happiness that I wouldn’t find in anyone else. 

You’re the person I look for when I walk into a room. 

You fill me with love that I’ve never felt before. 

You allow me to make mistakes and encourage me to learn from them. 

Growing up our parents and everyone around us seemed to have this premade story that we would end up together and I held that story in my heart, knowing that it wasn’t just a story but it would eventually become the truth. 

Our story. 

You’re my best friend, my teacher, the love of my life…” Jay says, kneeling down on one knee and pulling out a small red velvet box. 

“YN, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?” Jay asks as tears are falling from your eyes. 

You’re saying yes before he can even finish the question, jumping onto him with a hug as he chuckles at your reaction; engulfing you into a warm hug. “100% yes.” you mutter into his neck as the two of you stand up onto your feet. He gently places the ring onto your finger and once again the two of you share a kiss in front of the fireplace, snow falling outside, and the moons shining into the cabin through the crystal windows. 

A kiss that feels like it’s your first kiss together and in many ways it is. It’s your first kiss as fiancés and you can’t wait to have your first kiss together as husband and wife. 

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

[celestialalpacaron]

Ayo, someone by the name of Curly-B-Blog is redlining art of yours from 2020 (while pretending that it's actually Sai Scribble's work), and kind of being a dick about it. just thought you should know.

You know, originally I was just gonna brush it off, but then I went back to look at my old SU art from 2020 and did so much self reflection from then till now.

I think this was around the time I was just learning how to do perspective and tried to use the perspective tool on Procreate for the first time? :0 and I remember telling Sai “Sai I have this STUPID idea, I CANT believe it this stupid joke it’s so DUMBBBB, it’s living rent free in my BRAIN I SWEAR THIS IS GONNA BE SO STUPID DCIUWHEFIUWHIRFUIW4F” and being super excited to show her the finished product. People still think Sai created the Cursed Skin Gloves comic and I think it’s hilarious wjhwnuhwijwuiw

The comic was received very well and it made LOTS of people laugh and I’m still proud of this comic to this very day! :D and tbh if it wasn’t for my obsession for Sai’s Switcheroo AU I never would have found my passion in comic work! (love you you stinky hoe @saiscribbles 🩷)

HOWEVER…. I definitely still had lots to learn! I wasn’t very good at perspective at the time I’ll admit, but I was definitely having lots of fun learning :3

And throughout the past 4 years, ALOT has happened.

I graduated from college with TWO fancy pieces of expensive papers in Visual Development in Animation and Illustration learning from Will Kim and Jeff Soto, and as a I was working with the funny voice man Cougar MacDowall as a comic/story artist and reached in total around 7 million views for my fan series FNAF Security Malware Breached (it was even #21 on the trending list around the time of my birthday 🩷 what a lovely gift), had an insane opportunity to work with Mike Geno and with the voice cast from The Amazing Digital Circus for a fan song as a background and character asset artist, Vivienne Medrano liking and sharing my silly Overlord Husk AU comics, currently on my route to getting my certificate from Aaron Blaise’s Character design program and graduating from Marc Brunet Art School, and now I am completing my first year as professional colorist and art assistant for my storyboard and comic mentor Michelle Lam, aka Mewtripled! (Also I’ll be heading out to Lightbox Expo 2024 on October 26 with Michelle and the team so if y’all ever wanna meetup hahahajaj wink wink wink wink wink)

So you can say I learned ALOT and I enjoyed every minute of what I do :D I try to be humble about my accomplishments because blah blah being humble good yes yes but this time I wanna be selfish and say HELL YEAH I DID ALL THIS!!! AND IM SO EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF FIUGEIURGERGGRS

Now here’s my most recent comic page that I posted like 2 days ago without the text.

That’s pretty freakin wild to me, I can’t believe I used to draw Steven Universe art like that back in 2020 LOL LIKE GUYS I DREW THIS!! WITH!!! MY HANDS!!! IS THAT NOT INSANE!!!???

Anyways moral of the story:

Learn from everyone and everything! Yes, even then mean ones too! If you can learn to work with anyone, I promise you’ll get to where you want to be faster. People can be a little mean on the internet, but that shouldn’t stop you from being where you want to be in the future. I’m so EXTREMELY grateful for all the opportunities and to all the kind professionals who were willing to give me a chance. Seriously, I’m so graciously thankful for everything, and I hope everyone here will support me and my silly little comics I will do now and in the future!

And one more thing:

Don’t be a jerk. Be to be nice to everyone :D nothing good comes out when you’re bad to everyone.