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imnotinclinedtomaturity · 6 years ago

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Love Yourself (Chapter 32)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 17k story words: 267k (so far) chapter: 32/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression, consensual d/s undertones genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: um so this is like a month overdue... but it's long af. and i've cut down what was going to go in this chapter. i hope it is worth the wait <3 massive thanks as always to @auroraphilealis for being my biffle, beta, and cheerleader. she's been by my side as a beat this chapter to death and listened to a million rambles of why it was important to me to keep it all together (which i only mostly ended up doing) and other pretentious shit. she's wonderful xx

note: this chapter contains more explicit themes than past ones. unlike past chapters, outside of the marked smut, there is risque material. skim at your own discretion if you are uncomfortable, but it wasn't set up in a way i could mark

By the time filming had finally ended, Dan felt emotionally fucking exhausted. Being so open and honest on national television, and having to be so careful with his words, had drained him of just about everything. There wasn’t an ounce of propriety left in him, and at this point, all he wanted was to be taken care of and not have to fucking think for a little bit.

Letting go — whatever that meant — was impossible on set. From the second he’d finished performing his song and had ducked backstage, he’d been craving a hug from Phil — a proper hug, not the one-armed bro-hug Phil had given him. But stagehands were running everywhere, and there didn’t seem to be a bloody centimeter of privacy, so Dan resisted. The minute he got in the uber, he could collapse against Phil.

But for now, resting his foot against Phil’s as he stood behind the stage wall would have to suffice. Dan closed his eyes, replaying his interview in his head as he listened to the loud hum of the audience laughing and applauding and — holy fuck. He’d actually just done that. He’d actually talked about his most personal matters, something he’d taken great lengths to keep secret, in front of all of those people. The studio held what? Two hundred people?

Two hundred people who were now privy to Dan’s rambling thoughts about sexuality and boxes, who now had a whole fountain of knowledge about Dan’s sexual and romantic preferences. Two hundred people who had seen Dan be open and vulnerable and honest.

The gravity of the interview smacked Dan in the face, and that’s when he realized, really truly realized, that those two hundred people were just the beginning. In a few short hours, that interview would play on national American tv, would stream on youtube worldwide. And sure, he had known that while he was filming, but he hadn’t known. Not in the way it was all hitting him now.

Dan swallowed thickly and let his hand brush against Phil’s. He wanted out of here. He wanted a hug. He wanted to think about anything other than this interview, his fate, his audience, just for a little bit anyway.

The twenty minutes it took to get an all clear lasted about five years. Dan was so on edge and ready to leave that he was already ordering a car before a stagehand had even finished dismissing them. Without waiting for proper goodbyes, Dan seized Phil’s wrist and dragged him out of the studio, down the lift, out the back door — and not the back door that fans often waited for celebrities at, either.

Dan felt a wave of relief rush through him when he burst out of the exit and found a black car already stalled next to the curb. Rushing over to the car, Dan wrenched open the back door and ushered Phil inside.

The relief coursing through Dan’s veins ran cold when the driver greeted him though. The way he confirmed Dan’s name, the breathlessness in his voice and the distinct spark in his eye — they were the unmistakable signs that someone recognized him.

Perhaps the ride back to the hotel wouldn’t be as relaxing as Dan had hoped.

Still, Dan shuffled in after Phil, leaving the full space of the middle seat between them. And less than a block later, Dan’s hunch was proven right when the driver asked which show he had been recording for at Rockefeller Center.

Not wanting to actually engage with this stranger, Dan grunted a reply and made a show of putting in his headphones, even though he didn’t actually play any music. It may have been rude, but it worked. The driver didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Of course, that didn’t stop his gaze from flickering into the rear view mirror every other bloody second. Dan felt like an animal in a glass box, on display and on edge. Phil was right there, but Dan didn’t feel like he could reach out, not under such intense observation.

Like Dan had told himself and Phil and Louise a million times, tonight was about talking about bisexuality, about giving that topic all the attention it deserved, not about him and Phil. The last thing Dan wanted was to have their relationship inadvertently outed by a random crew member or uber driver.

So Dan held back. Instead of sinking into his boyfriend’s side and letting himself get lost in Phil, Dan stayed on his side of the backseat and fell prey to one of the most volatile coping strategies he had — the internet.

Dan googled the average number of viewers of The Tonight Show and discovered it was over two million a night — and that wasn’t including the extra views that youtube brought in. And that, naturally, brought Dan to his next google search, where he discovered that The Tonight Show’s youtube channel had a whopping nineteen million subscribers. Subscribers who would undoubtedly have access to Dan’s rants about bisexuality, and his recently failed relationship, in just a few hours time.

Overwhelmed by the sheer significance of everything, Dan spread his legs obnoxiously far apart so that one knee pressed into Phil’s. Phil nudged back deliberately, a silent reassurance of his presence, a subtle demonstration of his support.

It wasn’t the bear hug Dan craved, but it was enough for now. The slight pressure of Phil’s leg against his own helped Dan stay grounded as he switched gears and fell down a wikipedia black hole about most viewed celebrity interviews. Unsurprisingly, videos about famous entertainers coming out were high on the list.

Right. No pressure there.

By the time the car pulled up to the hotel, Dan’s desire for real physical contact had developed into flat out desperation. He just needed this goddamn weight to ease back for a fucking minute.

Without waiting for Phil, Dan hiked his backpack over his shoulder and bolted into the hotel, through the lobby, and straight to the lifts.

It seemed to take bloody forever for a lift to actually arrive, but it took even longer for Phil to catch up. Dan had to pass on two elevators before he finally saw Phil entering the hotel, lumbering awkwardly across the lobby, weighed down with Dan’s guitar.

Oops.

In Dan’s haste to make it to their room, he’d forgotten that his guitar — his favorite guitar — was in the trunk. Eyeing Phil’s lopsided stance, Dan grimaced and took a small step towards him.

“Sorry,” Dan said apologetically as he pressed the up button for the third time. “Lemme take that,” he offered, reaching out for the worn handle of his guitar case.

With absolutely none of the coordination that Dan had developed over the years, Phil switched the guitar to his opposite hand, suddenly making it much harder for Dan to easily swipe it out of his grip.

“Phillll,” Dan whined, reaching across Phil’s body for the handle.

“Dannnnnn,” Phil retaliated as he stuck his tongue out and held the guitar even further out of Dan’s reach. His bicep was quaking, and his body definitely wasn’t used to the extra awkwardly large weight, but Dan couldn’t help appreciating how fucking sexy it was that, for the first time in ages, he had someone that was willing — determined, even — to carry Dan’s shit.

The bell on another lift finally dinged, and the doors opened. Dan’s attention snapped from Phil’s playful face to the empty lift. Relief rushing in just by the sheer presence of the lift, Dan gestured for Phil to take the lead. Luckily, it was that in-between time of night when most people were at dinner or something of the sort, and they had the lift to themselves. Dan took advantage of the brief moment of privacy and stepped in close to Phil, his knuckles gently brushing against Phil’s hand, the loving fingers that were inexpertly wrapped around the handle of Dan’s heavy guitar.

“Thanks,” Dan murmured, the teasingly childish tone suddenly vanishing, and a disgustingly sweet one taking over. In what he hoped wasn’t too cheesy of a move, Dan closed the small distance between them and pressed a chaste kiss to Phil’s cheek.

Brows furrowed, Phil cocked his head at Dan. “Dan, it’s just a guitar, I don’t mind.”

“Mmm,” Dan hummed, stepping back to his place. He watched the numbers climb as they passed floor after floor, observing Phil out of the corner of his eye. Phil was quiet, but shot Dan an odd look, his expression a mix of pointed and sad. It utterly baffled Dan for a second — until he remembered their conversation from yesterday morning, that was.

Phil didn’t have to say a word, Dan could practically hear him pointing out that his reaction was a bit unhealthy. Appreciation was fine, sure, but the amount of surprise he felt at a partner doing something so simplistically nice probably didn’t speak highly of his past relationships.

Wanting out of that moment before Phil could force Dan to properly think about his reaction, Dan darted out of the lift as soon as the doors opened and hurried down the hallway. Behind him, Phil’s footsteps echoed down the hallway, pausing just out of reach when Dan came to a halt outside of their door and fumbled to find his room key.

Maybe nerves or exhilaration or exhaustion was still gripping Dan, or maybe it was the knowledge that he had Phil and a hotel room and a foreign city all to himself tonight, but it took him three tries of swiping their card before the light finally flickered green.

The click of the latch was a wave of relief, and Dan found himself shoving their door open with far more force and enthusiasm than was necessary. Without waiting for Phil, Dan barrelled into their room and crossed the space in three quick strides, coming to a stop in front of their bed and spinning around to stare impatiently at Phil.

Fucking finally, they were alone.

Phil was a few steps behind him, and didn’t seem to have any of the urgency that Dan had. Dan watched anxiously as Phil walked towards him at the pace of an impregnated, fat sloth. Carefully, and ungodly slowly, Phil sat the guitar down in front of the bed and finally, finally his hands were free.

Dan didn’t wait for Phil to straighten up before launching himself into Phil’s arms, physically demanding to be held. The sudden weight of Dan threw Phil off balance, causing him to stumble backwards towards the bed.

“Oi,” Phil gasped as he tumbled to the bed, just barely managing to not fall all the way onto his back under Dan’s momentum. Even as he fell, his hands landed on Dan’s hips and pulled him down to the bed too. Just for a moment, Dan found himself awkwardly leaning into Phil, not quite sitting, not quite standing.

With a flustered giggle, Dan shifted his body so he was straddling Phil’s lap instead. Dan’s hands slid up from Phil’s waist, and looped around his neck, finally pulling him into the private and intimate embrace Dan had been dying for.

“Well hello there,” Phil greeted, his hands dipping under the hem of Dan’s jumper, his fingers thumbing over the jut of Dan’s hipbone. Phil’s voice was low, and his touch was sultry, and Dan couldn’t hold back a shaky sigh. He felt so damn needy, and the soft drag of Phil’s fingers on his bare skin was already quieting his screaming mind some.

Dan shifted back up, just enough so that he could look Phil in the eye. The cheeky and smug look on Phil’s face wasn’t surprising — maybe someday Phil would stop looking so satisfied about the reactions he pulled from Dan, but they clearly weren’t there yet.

“Hi,” Dan responded with a smile, not even bothering to hide the effect Phil was having on him. Dan tipped his head forward, closing the small distance between them, and pressed his lips to Phil’s.

Despite Phil’s teasing tone, he let Dan take what he wanted, matching Dan kiss for kiss and touch for touch. Dan wasn’t sure who licked whose lips first, who opened their mouth for who first. He did, however, realize that it only took a short minute for them to escalate from sweet kisses to proper snogging.

Before they could get too carried away, Dan pulled back, panting slightly. Even though he needed a decent lung capacity for singing, it seemed that kissing Phil for two minutes stole his breath in a way that a long high note never could.

“Where’s — the room service — menu?” Dan asked, his words coming in pants as his gaze drifted to the bedside table and then the desk, searching for a helpful booklet.

Phil fingers slipped down from the middle of Dan’s waist to the low hem of his pants. His brows furrowed and he cocked his head to the side. “Why?” he asked.

Huffing an exaggerated sigh, Dan shot Phil an incredulous look. “Because I’ve had a crazy fucking day and would like to let loose a little…?” After knowing Phil for nearly three full months, Dan was rather surprised to have to point out the obvious to him.

“Well yeah,” Phil huffed and cleared his throat. His pupils were blown wide, and now it was Dan’s turn to feel pleased with himself; he might be a mess from two minutes of kissing Phil, but Phil was just as flustered after two minutes of kissing Dan. “I know that much.” Phil rolled his eyes and slid his hands out of Dan’s trousers to a less scandalous spot, tracing his thumbs lightly Dan’s prominent hip bones. “I just meant, I’m surprised that you don’t want to go out since we only have a few nights here.”

Dan shrugged, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplated Phil’s comment. He’d definitely had some great nights in the bars of New York, but they’d all come with the unfortunate price tag of at least half a dozen paparazzi photos. That wasn’t what Dan wanted tonight — tonight he just wanted Phil.

Tentatively, Dan let his hands drift from Phil’s shoulders up to his bare neck, his thumbs softly rubbing along Phi’s pulse points. “I mean… It’s not that I don’t want to enjoy New York, I just…” Dan couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted down from Phil’s, landing instead on his lips. Coyly — or at least he hoped it was coy and sexy — Dan slipped his hands down Phil’s neck and under the collar of his button-up shirt. “I’d rather not be bothered by a fan or the media tonight, ya know?” Just in case the meaning behind his words wasn’t clear enough, Dan dipped his thumb further down Phil’s shirt and grazed his collarbone suggestively.

“Mmm, that’s fair,” Phil murmured. Taking Dan’s lead, Phil’s hands nudged up higher on Dan’s hips, pushing his leather jacket and tight jumper up even higher so Phil’s fingers could brush over the bare skin near the top of Dan’s ribs. “But what if I told you I knew a place where we’d be left alone?”

Cocking an eyebrow, Dan straightened up. He’d been in New York. He’d been to elite clubs, he’d been to dive bars, he’d been to locals only restaurants — and on every occasion, he’d been photographed. In his experience, this was a city of famous people, and in turn, that meant it was a city of photographs and tabloids, a city of journalists searching for their next break.

“What kind of place is this?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Well,” Phil bit his lip, suddenly looking a little hesitant. “Technically it’s a gay club. But the standard cover is high enough to keep out most fans, and they’ve got an absurd amount of security, just in case.”

“How do you know about a place like that?” Dan pried; he’d been to New York half a dozen times and he’d never heard of any exclusive gay clubs. But even as Dan questioned Phil’s knowledge, he could feel the excitement growing in his stomach. He hadn’t been to a proper gay bar since he was seventeen, and never with a partner — at least not someone who wasn’t just a fling. He couldn’t deny that the idea was hotter than hell.

“Oh. Uh, well,” Phil shrugged awkwardly, sounding shifty. His eyes darted away from Dan’s, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Another gay youtuber has a friend who is a bouncer there?” he explained, but he sounded so unsure that it came out as a question.

Dan eyed Phil suspiciously. “How jealous should I be of this guy right now?”

“Of Tyler? Not at all. No way. Never.” Phil shook his head vehemently, his gaze flicking back to Dan.

“And Tyler is…?” Dan prompted slowly, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head.

“He’s just a casual friend who lives in LA. We collaborate when we’re in the same city,” Phil shrugged.

Dan narrowed his eyes skeptically. “And the bouncer?” he pushed, sensing that there was something that Phil wasn’t admitting.

Phil’s gaze shifted to the side again, his cheeks growing red. The grip on Dan’s chest slipped, Phil’s hands dropping down to the base of Dan’s hips.

Dan’s heart followed Phil’s hands, plummeting down into his stomach and then somehow sinking even further. Just from Phil’s reaction, Dan knew he’d figured it out.

“It was one time and really didn’t matter,” Phil admitted, sounding defeated, embarrassed. “But he’ll let us both in for free and there won’t be cameras there.”

Dan was surprised to find that he wasn’t just jealous, he was almost repulsed. His stomach churned as his brain supplied images of Phil and some gorgeous boy tangled in bed together, making him feel nauseous.

“I’m not sure I want to meet a guy you’ve fucked,” Dan said, aiming for teasing and joking, but as soon as he said it, he was sure the insecurity shined through. “I mean, what if he’s cuter than me?” Dan chuckled half-heartedly, doing his best to salvage his dignity. He really didn’t want Phil to think he was a jealous dick or clingy or something else completely annoying. Even if it was kind of true.

Phil laughed — genuinely laughed, not an awkward chuckle like before. “First off,” he started, his voice actually light and humorous, not forced casual like Dan’s. “There’s no way anyone has ever, or could ever, be cuter than you. Not that I'm aiming to find someone else.” As if to prove his point, Phil’s fingers dipped into Dan’s jeans and pointedly hooked under his pants. It wasn’t just a little this time; now Phil’s hands were properly inside of Dan’s pants, his fingers inching towards more intimate parts of Dan’s body. “And second off,” Phil continued, “I suffered through two months of knowing you were sleeping with someone else. I think five seconds of interaction with a random guy I slept with a year ago doesn’t compare.”

“Uh!!” Dan gasped in protest, his voice high pitched and offended. “I didn’t sleep with her for the last month and you know it!”

“Yeah, now I know,” Phil agreed begrudgingly. “But I didn’t then and I was so damn envious.” Phil licked his lips slowly. “Plus,” he added, his voice lower and gruff. “You were sleeping with her in the beginning, and I had to watch you come in with marks all up and down your neck that proved it.” As if to make his point, Phil dragged his fingers along Dan’s sensitive neck possessively, thumbing over the spot where coverup was hiding a hickey on Dan’s pulse point.

Dan’s stomach twisted in reaction, and a shiver ran down his back — whether it was the clear jealous attitude or the cursing that was turning him on, he wasn’t sure. There was a part of him that was willing to forfeit embracing any amount of New York tonight, that wanted to rock his hips forward and show Phil just how little reason he had to be jealous now, to take full advantage of the nice hotel room they had.

“Come on, let me take you out, buy you a few drinks. Maybe a nice dinner first, if you’re hungry,” Phil pleaded.

There was another part of Dan — an unexpectedly bigger part of him — that was itching to go out with Phil, to find a different way to show Phil that Dan was all his, even if it wasn’t the approach he was used to. And besides, after so many months of being dragged out by his ex, something in Dan couldn’t help finding the fact that Phil wanted to take him out, just for the sake of being together, incredibly sexy.

“Alright,” Dan agreed, conceding even as he let his hips suggestively rock against Phil’s just once — he couldn’t resist, not if he wasn’t going to have the chance to do so for a while. “We should definitely have something to eat first, though. I haven’t eaten nearly enough today and I reckon I’ll be drunk after half a cocktail if we don’t get food.”

“Fair enough,” Phil agreed as his hands slipped out of Dan’s pants, lightly gripping Dan’s hips and guiding him backwards. Tilting slightly to the side, Phil fished his phone out of his back pocket. “What kind of food do you want, then?”

“Doesn’t matter. Something with a view of the city might be nice,” Dan suggested with a small shrug. Sliding all the way off Phil’s lap, Dan made his way to the mirror, fluffing at his hair. The makeup from earlier still looked nice; the eyeliner wasn’t smudgy and the color on his cheeks still seemed to accentuate his features. Eyes meeting Phil in the mirror, Dan added, “Nowhere so fancy we can’t wear the clothes we’re wearing to the club, though.”

He knew if they had to come back to the hotel to change there was no way Phil was convincing him to leave again.

“I know just the place,” Phil said decisively, his gaze turning back to his phone.

*******

Less than an hour later, an uber was dropping Dan and Phil just outside of Times Square with an apology that they couldn’t get them any closer to their destination. During what felt like an infinitely-long car ride for Dan’s curious nerves, Phil had refused to tell Dan where he was taking him, and for a split second, Dan had been worried Phil was going to usher him to one of the hot dog or pizza carts littered around the square before leading him to a bench to people watch.

Not that Dan was strictly opposed to street food — he certainly didn’t want Phil to splurge on another fancy meal so soon after their last date. But also, he’d learned from experience what some vendors’ food will do to stomachs, and if they were planning to head to a club later that night, they should at least try to spare themselves diarrhea and food poisoning.

Phil took a hard right before they made it to the throngs of people though, his hand on Dan’s lower back to guide him in the right direction. The sudden turn led them… into the valet entrance to the Marriott?

Dan turned to look at Phil, but his face was perfectly neutral. “Phil, did you bring us halfway across Manhattan to eat at a different hotel’s restaurant?” Dan asked dubiously, letting Phil lead him through the revolving doors and into the hotel lobby.

“Yeah, we’re going to eat at the touristy hotel bar of a place we aren’t even staying,” Phil responded sarcastically. His hand dropped from Dan’s back, something that disappointed Dan until he followed Phil’s gaze to a gaggle of teenagers across the lobby. “Just trust me, Howell,” Phil teased, flashing Dan a coy smile as he pressed the call button for the lift, the doors immediately opening.

“If you insist,” Dan smirked, stepping into the lift after Phil. “You’re on thin ice though, Lester.” Despite the mock-warning in his voice, Dan quickly closed the gap between them when the doors closed and pressed a quick kiss to Phil’s cheek.

The doors parted again just seconds later, letting them out at the third floor. Confidently, Phil led them down the hallway, only to stop in front of another set of lifts. Dan cocked an eyebrow but wordlessly followed Phil as the doors to the next lift opened.

“Those only go to hotel rooms past this floor,” Phil cryptically explained as he pressed the button for the forty-eighth floor. This ride was longer, giving Phil enough time to lean in and kiss Dan on the lips. “I can’t promise this place will be free of photographers, so get it out of your system.”

Despite his giggles, Dan leaned forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own, this time lingering long enough to capture Phil’s lower lip between his teeth, long enough to nip at the soft and sensitive flesh inside Phil’s mouth. Long enough to reach for Phil’s hips and slip his fingers beneath Phil’s clothes, suggestively thumbing across the bare skin of Phil’s waist.

“Mmff!” Phil let out a throaty noise halfway between a moan and a reprimand, as he pulled back from Dan’s kiss.

“What?” Dan asked innocently, even as he let his fingers drift towards Phil’s arse. “You said to get it out of my system.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d feel me up in a lift,” Phil shot back snarkily.

“Mmmm,” Dan hummed. “Maybe I could resist feeling my boyfriend up in a lift if he didn’t look so damn gorgeous.” Dan eyed the denim jacket Phil was wearing, his gaze lingering on the fitted shirt covered with tiny pale flowers that was buttoned up all the way to his Adam’s apple, drawing Dan’s attention to Phil’s neck. The deep, pinot-noir purple stood out starkly against Phil’s pale skin, bringing out his eyes and making him look unfairly quirky and sexy at the same time.

The bell dinged and the doors parted, cutting off Phil’s reply. Dan snapped his mouth shut, but let himself continue eying Phil as he exited the lift — he could only do so much to tamp down his blatant arousal tonight, when Phil looked like that.

Phil didn’t hesitate to stride up to the host stand and give his name — that was something Dan was still getting used to, a partner being willing to take the lead in moments like this. It was proving to be far hotter than Dan had ever expected it to be.

Dan was still processing everything when the hostess started leading them towards a table. The restaurant seemed to form a circle around the lifts, and all of the exterior walls were replaced with grand windows overlooking the New York skyline.

Dan had only gotten one foot on the raised platform before Phil’s hands were softly gripping his shoulders. It was a good thing, too; Dan was fairly certain he would have fallen if Phil hadn’t steadied him. Beneath their feet, the platform was moving.

“What the…?” Dan breathed, baffled by the way the top step was moving but the bottom wasn’t.

“Look outside,” Phil murmured, his voice just centimeters from Dan’s ear. Following Phil’s suggestion, Dan glanced out the nearest window. Now that Dan was looking closer, the city around them seemed to be shifting slightly, and it took him a moment to realize that it was the restaurant that was rotating ever so slowly, not the skyscrapers outside.

“Holy shit,” Dan mumbled quietly, coming to a halt when the hostess gestured to a small table along one of the massive windows.

Dan sat, too captivated by the view of this foreign city to pay attention to the muted conversation Phil was having with the woman. Outside, Dan could see building after building, could see the moon rising over the water. It was a spectacular view, and judging by the slow rotation, it was only a portion of what he was going to see tonight.

It wasn’t until Phil’s knee gently bumped against his that Dan tore his gaze away from the window and turned back to face his boyfriend instead.

“When did you have time to make a reservation?” Dan asked stupidly, his brain still struggling to wrap itself around the amazingly gorgeous restaurant Phil had brought him to.

“While you were primping for tonight,” Phil teased. His hand slid across the table just enough to brush his knuckles across the back of Dan’s hand.

Dan’s hand, the one that wasn’t just barely touching Phil, flew up to self-consciously pat his curly hair.

“Stop,” Phil gently ordered. “You look good. Really good. Primping time was well used.”

Dan’s hand fell back to the table, his thumb immediately tapping out a mindless rhythm. He couldn’t believe Phil had taken the twenty minutes of downtime to book them a window-side table. “You’re amazing,” Dan sighed, awe dripping from his voice. “Seriously amazing.”

Phil tilted his head to the side, shrugging his shoulder as he flashed Dan a cheeky grin. “That is what they call me,” he said playfully.

“Oh fuck off,” Dan huffed, unable to stop the wide smile that spread across his face and the way his hand pressed against Phil’s. Teenage Phil really had picked out the perfect username for himself — amazing was by far the best word to describe him.

Dan’s gaze drifted back to the window. The view was slowly twisting so that they could see more and more of the river. The water was twinkling, reflecting both the moon and the bright lights of the city.

“Wait,” Dan exclaimed suddenly, his head whipping from the window to Phil. “Don’t you get motion sickness?”

Phil shrugged, a soft smile on his face. “Usually. But the restaurant moves so slowly that it won’t bother me as long as I don’t look outside for too long.”

Huffing a small sigh, Dan frowned slightly. “We could have gone to a restaurant where the view wouldn’t make you sick,” Dan pointed out.

“We could have,” Phil agreed easily. “But I knew you’d like this one.”

“Oh,” Dan mumbled quietly, a smile pulling at his lips. He turned his attention to the menu, if for no other reason than an easy excuse for hiding the blush that was flushing his cheeks. Phil ignored his dinner menu in favor of the black, leather-bound drink book on the table.

“Does your hatred for white wine extend to champagne, as well?” Phil asked idly, not looking up from the menu he was studying.

“Definitely not,” Dan denied vehemently, smiling stupidly at the thought of Phil ordering them champagne. “Champagne is its own branch of alcohol and it’s wonderful.”

“Good,” Phil folded the alcohol menu primly, and looked back up at Dan. “Because you were truly exceptional tonight, and deserve to be spoiled.”

“Phi-illlll,” Dan whined, bringing his menu up to hide the redness of his face with such force that it accidentally smacked him in the nose. His stomach tightened at the compliment, a shiver ran down his spine.

“Oh I forgot,” Phil said innocuously, his voice far too knowing to actually be innocent. “Does someone have a bit of a praise kink?” Phil continued with fake-casualness, his voice low and quiet. Husky. Sexy.

Dan dropped his forehead to the table with a resounding thunk, the menu shifting to cover the back of his head as his hands shielded his face from Phil’s view. “You aren’t supposed to take advantage of that in public.”

“Oops!” Phil laughed, actually laughed, as he kicked a foot out to nudge Dan’s. “Sit up and pick out what you want for an appetizer, babe.”

Slightly mortified, and more than a little flustered, Dan rose up again, his gaze steadfastly fixed on his menu. It was a fruitless effort, though — he could feel Phil’s eyes boring into him, which did nothing to calm his pounding heart and swooping stomach.

He realized they’d been handed a prix-fixe menu, meaning they would each get three courses for the flat rate of… holy shit. Eighty nine dollars.

At this rate, it was getting hard to tell if Phil’s tastes in restaurants was just as fancy as Dan’s, or if he was trying far too hard to impress him. In the months that Dan had gotten to know Phil, he’d learned that Phil was generally somewhat frugal — though never to a fault. In his business and personal life, Phil was always conscious about how he earned and spent his money. That hardly seemed in line with the extravagant dinners he was taking Dan to.

“Phil,” Dan started carefully, planning to test the waters and see if Phil would want to switch to the normal menu, one where they could share an appetizer and skip dessert (and shave a few dollars off the bill).

“Hush up and choose your appetizer, Howell,” Phil said without looking up from his own menu.

“Fine, I will, but…” Dan trailed off, his eyes darting out the window to avoid looking at Phil for a second before drifting back.

Phil folded his menu in front of him and looked at Dan with an unreadable stare. “But what?”

“But… you know not every date has to be expensive food and fancy restaurants, right? I’d be fine with Dominos and your sofa.”

“And I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of nights in with too much pizza. But I also like quality food and nice restaurants, and I know you do, too. So order whatever you want and enjoy tonight.”

Dan’s face must have betrayed the small bit of wariness that was still gnawing at his stomach, because Phil continued, “Look, if it makes you feel better, I promise you can pay next time we go somewhere expensive, okay?”

Dan smiled, his heart melting. “I adore you, Phil Lester.”

“And I you, Daniel Howell.”

****

The food was heavenly. Dan opted for lighter, mostly vegan dishes — a salad and a lovely squash roast — because he didn’t want to feel bloated and lethargic if they were going out after dinner. Phil had seafood instead and offered Dan small tastes of it, holding his fork across the table and letting Dan bite off it.

Dinner was lovely, but the company was even better. By the time their waiter was bringing them dessert menus, they were both well on their way to properly tipsy.

Sometime during the main course, Phil had ordered a second bottle of Dom Perignon. The bubbles — and ever growing feelings of infatuation — were going straight to Dan’s head, making him feel giddy in a way he couldn’t ever remember feeling before.

Around them, the restaurant was quietly buzzing with the Friday night crowd, the bar growing slightly more crowded as the night went on. Sometime in the past hour, the overhead lamps had dimmed, the lights of the city outside casting a soft glow over their table. They’d made a full circle, rotating around to see the empire state building and central park, and now they were back to the river.

Still though, Dan only had eyes for Phil.

Under the table, their feet were entwined together, mostly shrouded by the long white table cloth — although the more champagne Dan drank, the less he cared. A few times, when Phil gave him a particularly sweet compliment or an especially sexy look, Dan couldn’t resist brushing his fingertips over Phil’s or letting his toe drag up the inside of Phil’s leg.

In typical Phil fashion, he turned his full attention away from Dan for the first time all night when the dessert menus came, reading over the options with impressively deep intense concentration. Dan didn’t mind — he knew he couldn’t compete with sweet food, but he also knew dessert would come and go, and Phil would be his again.

“Dan!” Phil exclaimed, pointing to the very first item on the menu. “Look, they’ve made cake out of cheese! That shouldn’t get to count as a dessert!”

Dan giggled, his eyes still trained on Phil. “You know, not everyone has the same weird aversion to cheese as you, Philly.”

Phil didn’t respond, too engrossed in the list. “Oooo, look, they have profiteroles and — ew!” Head shooting back up, Phil gave Dan a genuinely horrified expression. His voice was just a hair too loud for inside, especially for the posh and intimate restaurant, but it was fine. “Who orders a cheese plate for dessert!?”

Fuck, Dan was so soft for this boy, this boy who had such bullheaded opinions over what counted as dessert, but was entirely open-minded about anything bigger. “What can I say, the world is full of zanies and fools.”

“Who don’t believe in sensible rules?” Phil quipped back with his brows raised knowingly, not quite singing, but also not exactly just talking either.

“Exactly,” Dan agreed with a nod, letting his eyes linger for just a second before finally flitting down to read his own dessert menu. There was an undefined sappy thought beating at the edge of Dan’s mind, something about how Phil felt like the fairytale impossible thing that happened to him, but he shoved it aside — that was too much even for his champagne-addled heart.

Scanning his menu, Dan’s gaze caught on one of the desserts — not because of the ingredients, but because of the suggestive name.

“I reckon I’ll order the Cherry Explosion,” Dan said, voice low as he looked up at Phil through his darker-than-usual eyelashes. “Hopefully it’ll be a preview of what’s to come later tonight.”

Phil held his gaze for a long second, a slow smirk spreading across his face and a playful twinkle in his eye. “You know,” he started slowly, leaning forward. Beneath the table, a warm hand suddenly landed on Dan’s thigh, fingertips dipping between his legs to rub along the inseam of Dan’s trousers. “I’m not normally a big fan of cherries, but if that’s what gets you there, I can get used to it.”

Dan’s jaw dropped open — both at Phil’s words and at the way his hand was slowly creeping higher and higher up Dan’s leg.

“I don’t — I’m not —” Dan stuttered, trying to defend why he had cherry lube at home, but there wasn’t a restaurant appropriate way to say that he got used to keeping it on hand in hopes that it would entice his ex-boyfriend to eat him out. “I don’t love the taste that much!” Dan finally managed.

Phil’s hand froze on Dan’s leg, his brows shooting up and a knowing smile growing on his lips. “So the flavor isn’t for your benefit, hmm?”

Shrugging, Dan did his best to keep his face neutral and voice steady — but the heat on his cheeks and his quickened breath told him he wasn’t doing a great job of either. “A lad can hope…” Dan muttered weakly.

The knowing smile on Phil’s lips turned positively lewd, his tongue peeking out to wet his bottom lip, his eyes darkening with lust. “Hope for what, Daniel?” Phil challenged.

Dan swallowed thickly, squirming beneath Phil’s intense gaze. He fiddled with the edge of his menu, resisting the simultaneous urges to knock Phil’s hand off his leg so he could think straight and pull Phil’s hand a few centimeters higher to where Dan really wanted it. “You know… something besides just… fingers,” Dan murmured, dropping his eyes to the table.

“I think most people don’t need flavors for a simple blowjob,” Phil pointed out, a smug edge to his voice.

“Philllll,” Dan whined, his face growing impossibly redder. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he grumbled into his flute of champagne, refusing to look Phil in the eye.

“Look at me, babe,” Phil demanded softly. Head still bowed, Dan shifted his eyes to look up at Phil, whose fingers resumed their teasing caress along Dan’s inner thigh. “And tell me what you meant.”

“I didn’t mean there,” Dan whined, praying Phil wouldn’t actually make him confess that he liked being eaten out in the middle of a fancy New York restaurant. That’d he’d settle for the blatant implication.

Phil looked like he might push it, but Dan was saved by the timely appearance of their waiter, back to take their dessert order.

Without taking his eyes off Dan, Phil ordered, his voice returning to its normal volume, a hint of huskiness still laced in. “I’ll have the profiterole, please, and he’ll have the cherry explosion.”

Pointedly, Phil squeezed Dan’s thigh, and Dan felt like he was on the verge of cracking, on the verge of begging Phil to dine and dash, to skip the club, to go back to their hotel — or fuck it, get a room in this one — and fuck him already. The subtle way Phil took charge, the way he challenged Dan in ways none of his past partners ever had, the way he made Dan feel so bloody taken care of — fuck, it was driving Dan insane.

“Bloody hell, Phil. You’re gonna kill me.”

*****************

“We’re here, babe, you have to get out of the car,” Phil insisted with a giggle. He was standing on the curb, holding the car door open and offering Dan his hand.

“I caaaan’t,” Dan whined, his words slurring together thanks to the full bottle of champagne he’d drank at dinner. He petulantly crossed his arms and stayed firmly planted in his seat.

“This nice man has’ta go pick up his next people, though,” Phil pointed out, flashing an apologetic glance towards the front of the car.

“But Phil, if I get out, then e’ryone’ll see,” Dan grumbled. Phil’s eyes followed Dan’s gesture towards his lap, a saucy smirk quickly pulling at his lips.

Dan’d been half-hard since they’d ordered dessert, and his trousers were still pulling tightly across his crotch, a telling tent forming in the center. Phil had been entirely unhelpful during the ride to the club, alternating between teasing Dan about how easily excitable he was and letting his hand wander up and down Dan’s thigh, not giving him the chance to calm down. They’d both had too much champagne to be discreet about it, and Dan hoped the driver wasn’t too scarred — he hadn’t said anything to reprimand them, at least.

“It’s dark out, no one’ll notice,” Phil argued, threading his hand through Dan’s and tugging gently. The awkward reach across the backseat was enough to unsteady Phil, and he braced himself on the doorframe, wobbling just a bit. “C’mon, as soon as we’re inside, you can get us a seat on the sofas and I’ll get us drinks, okay?”

Dan peered around Phil and saw that there wasn’t a line for the club. Maybe they were early — this was New York after all — or maybe this place really was as fancy as Phil had insinuated. Regardless of the reason, that meant Dan would have to interact with minimal people before he could sit down again. Plus, maybe a few minutes away from Phil would help Dan cool down. Lord knew he needed it.

“Here,” Phil let go of Dan’s hand and shrugged out of his denim jacket, offering it to Dan. “You can hold this in front of you in you want.”

“You’ll be cold, though,” Dan said guiltily.

“Not for long if you hurry up and c’mon!” Phil smiled widely, his tongue peeking out more than usual, and shook the jacket at Dan.

Giving in with a disgruntled grumble, Dan gratefully took Phil’s jacket as he climbed out of the uber, only stumbling a little, which he thought was probably a win given that he was definitely both tipsy and turned on. Dan tried to casually sling the jacket over his arm, aiming for a good boyfriend carrying his partner’s coat vibe, and not horny twenty-something hard because of some light pawing.

Phil’s hand landed on Dan’s lower back, guiding Dan towards the entrance. He dropped his hand as they got close, and reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

He started rifling through, for what Dan wasn’t sure, but the brown-haired bouncer suddenly smiled widely, seeming to recognize Phil, and told him not to worry about it.

Shit — the bouncer! Dan’s drunken and infatuated mind had forgotten that the only reason Phil knew about this place was because he’d fucked the bouncer. Or maybe the bouncer had fucked him. At this point, Dan honestly didn’t know which was worse to think about.

“Well, hey there Phil,” the bouncer greeted, his gaze blatantly raking up and down Phil’s form. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Hi, Oliver,” Phil greeted politely, smiling but keeping his eyes fixed on the other boy’s face. Dan couldn’t help but size up this lad who had slept with Phil; he had chocolate brown hair, curls, and deep eyes — just like Dan. In many ways, looking at this guy was like looking in a warped mirror.

Except for in one very important way.

This guy was built in a way Dan never had been, nor would ever be. His biceps were literally bulging against his sleeves, and Dan could see the sharp outline of defined pectoral muscles under the thin material covering his shirt. Jesus, it was March! Shouldn’t this guy be wearing a jacket or something? Not showing his muscles off to the world?

And rubbing them in Phil’s new boyfriend’s face?

Well aware that he was probably glowering, Dan tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Oliver telling Phil he looked good tonight.

“I’ll be off at one if you’re free tonight,” the bouncer said as he brushed his hand over Phil’s forearm and offered him a saucy wink. Goddamn, Dan was well familiar with that move, and he wasn’t particularly enjoying watching some random bloke pull it on his boyfriend.

The bouncer’s gaze finally drifted away from Phil, landing on Dan for the first time. Understanding seemed to register in his eyes and his hand dropped. “Although, I’m now realizing that might not be an option anymore…” he added, trailing off.

“Oh, uh,” Phil stuttered, sounding strangled and surprised. His hand reached out and wrapped around Dan’s waist. “Yeah. I mean, no! Not’n option, sorry. This is my boyfriend, Dan.”

“Ah, that’s too bad,” Oliver frowned, disappointed, before offering Dan a cheeky smirk. "You’re lucky. From what I remember your boyfriend sure can ride. He's quite the power bottom, in’it he?"

Dan could feel all the color draining out of his face, could feel how tense his entire body was, could feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands. He was practically shaking — with what, he wasn’t sure. Phil said he’d slept with this guy a year ago. It wasn’t like Dan really had the right to be mad or jealous — they hadn’t even met yet.

But still.

Riding was Dan’s favorite position — he wasn’t keen on imagining Phil doing that with some other guy.

“We’re going in now,” Phil said tersely. “You sure you don’t need a cover?” he added with minimal politeness, cutting in before Dan could say anything. Not that Dan had any idea what he’d say in a moment like this. He reckoned it’d probably start with a choice four letter word, though.

“Nah of course not, it’s always free for you gorgeous,” Oliver replied flirtily, and had the nerve to fucking wink at Phil, even after it became clear Phil was taken. “Feel free to call if you’re ever around again!” His gaze shifted to Dan, dragging over his comparatively lanky body. Dan couldn’t help self consciously adjusting the jacket in front of him, squirming under the lewd scrutiny of this built bouncer. “Or are looking for a third,” Oliver added, this time winking at Dan and deliberately licking his lips.

“He won’t be,” Dan snapped, grabbing Phil’s hand tightly and pulling him into the club as soon as they had permission.

Phil followed willingly, not even attempting to pause and apologize to the guy about Dan’s rude behavior. Not that Dan thought his reaction was unjustified — the asshole had ignored Dan, hit on his boyfriend, and asked for a threesome, all within a five minute window.

Inside, Dan paused for a fraction of a second to appraise his surroundings. The club was dim in a seductive, anonymous way. There were guys everywhere, far more than the lineless entrance had suggested. A long bar lined the back wall, and sofas and low tables created narrow aisles, leaving no room for a dance floor — something that was both surprising and disappointing. Dancing would have been an easy way for Dan to release some of his pent up emotions.

Scanning the room for alternate options, Dan’s eyes caught on a deserted hallway. He pulled Phil down it, not stopping until they were passed the glowing coat check window and as far from the crowd as they could be. Dan’s grip was probably still a little too tight on Phil’s hand, but Phil didn’t complain and didn’t question.

As soon as Dan thought they were alone enough, he spun around on his heel, grabbing Phil by the waist and crowding him up against the wall in one smooth motion. Phil’s jacket fell carelessly from Dan’s grip to the floor as Dan planted his feet on either side of Phil’s, his chest and hips pressed in close.

The position left Phil pinned to the wall, and given the unspoken dynamic that they were both exploring, Dan half expected Phil to flip their positions, to switch places so that Phil was the one pinning Dan to the wall.

Much to Dan’s satisfaction, however, Phil’s only movement was to loop his arms around Dan and pull him closer, hands splayed on Dan’s lower back. That prick outside had gotten under Dan’s skin, and he needed to remind himself that Phil wasn’t with that arse. Dan needed to remember that after months of pining and lusting and yearning, Phil was finally with him and no one else.

“Mine,” Dan growled as he surged forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own. Phil chuckled softly into the kiss, his chest rumbling against Dan’s. Dan could feel Phil’s fingers tracing across his back, could feel Phil’s lips quirking up into a smile. The whole thing reeked of fond and cute, but Dan didn’t want fond and cute right now.

He wanted passionate and possessive.

So Dan didn’t pause, didn’t pull back to let Phil laugh. If anything, he kissed harder; his lips moved urgently against Phil’s and his hands slipped up from Phil’s hips, desperately running over any part of Phil’s chest he could reach without having to step back.

Phil’s lips parted, and Dan didn’t hesitate to slip his tongue in, roughly licking the roof of Phil’s mouth. Not quite battling for dominance, but definitely not letting Dan take complete charge of the kiss either, Phil massaged Dan’s tongue with his own, his hands sliding down to firmly grab Dan’s arse.

The dark hallway, the anonymous club, the foreign city — they all felt like a shelter from the real world, and Dan let himself get lost in kissing and touching and groping. Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was the red-hot jealousy coursing through his veins, but Dan didn’t even really care if someone noticed them. Hell, he almost hoped that asshat of a bouncer decided to go on a loo break and saw the way Dan had Phil pushed up against the wall, the way Dan had his tongue down Phil’s throat.

Saw that Phil was Dan’s.

When kissing Phil became too much for Dan’s poor lungs to handle, he pulled back roughly only to immediately latch his lips onto Phil’s neck. Needing to feel Phil in every way he could, Dan rocked his hips forward, grinding their crotches together with a force that made them both groan.

“Mine,” Dan grumbled again, the word vibrating against Phil’s pulse point and pulling a deep moan out of him. He nipped at Phil’s neck, just hard enough for Phil to hiss and tighten his grip on Dan’s arse, his fingers deliciously digging into Dan’s cheeks. “Mine, mine, mine,” Dan repeated before licking over the red spot on Phil’s neck and sucking harshly.

“Of course,” Phil replied, his voice surprisingly full of conviction given how ragged his breath was growing. “All yours, baby.”

Dan slid his hands down Phil’s side, rucking his shirt up and grabbing at the soft, bare skin of Phil’s hips. “I don’t wanna share you with anyone,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck as his lips kissed and bit and sucked their way up to the sensitive spot beneath Phil’s ear.

“Good,” Phil huffed, this time his voice lower and more affected. One hand left Dan’s arse to tangle in his curls, pulling back forcefully until their gazes met. “Don’t wanna share you, either.”

Dan moaned, probably far too loudly for the coat check hallway of some club, but he couldn’t help it. He’d always preferred monogamy — for a lot of reasons. Something about monogamy with Phil, though. Fuck, it was so damn hot that Dan found himself getting even more riled up. And, sure, maybe it wasn’t an idea that would make many people horny, but it was turning Dan on — he literally didn’t think Phil could say anything sexier.

Hands groping higher up under Phil’s shirt, Dan crashed their lips together again, unable to resist the urge to grind their hips together again. His involuntary moan was drowned out by a loud wolf-whistle.

“Get some, sexy!” A deep, male voice called out, making Dan’s wandering hands come to an abrupt halt on Phil’s ribs and his breath catch in his throat.

“Fuck,” Dan muttered, tearing away from Phil’s lips and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Dan could feel his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment, could feel Phil’s husky laughter as his head tipped back and thunked against the wall.

Dan wasn’t concerned about the whistling stranger recognizing them, not in the dark shadows of a dim hallway in a fancy club. He was, however, mortified — and unexpectedly a little turned on — at being caught feverishly making out with someone in public, even if it was his boyfriend.

Phil tugged lightly on Dan’s hair, this time lacking the command from earlier, and guided Dan to look at him.

“Drinks?” Phil proposed, his voice ragged in a way that made Dan radiate with satisfaction.

“Yeah,” Dan panted in agreement. “That didn’t help my problem at all, though,” he added quietly. Rocking his hips against Phil’s, Dan let Phil feel the full hardness of his cock. Through their trousers, Dan could tell that Phil’s cock was swollen too, at least halfway, and the friction was absolutely heavenly. Dan had to bite back another moan at the relief that Phil’s hips gave.

“Grab my coat and go find us a sofa. I’ll get us drinks.” Phil’s thumb dragged back and forth, back and forth across Dan’s hip, rendering him speechless and incapable of countering with any other plan, even if a part of him did still want to at least try to pay for something tonight.

“Alright,” Dan mumbled, leaning forward to press his lips to Phil’s one more time before pulling back entirely. Bending down, Dan scooped Phil’s jacket up off the floor and slung it over his arm and in front of his crotch in what he hoped was a casual manner.

Dan let Phil lead the way down the hallway, hovering behind him and taking advantage of the extra coverage while he could. When they reached the main room, Phil gave Dan’s free hand a quick squeeze before they parted ways, Phil bee-lining for the back bar and Dan veering right to find some open seats near the edge of the room.

After a minute of winding, Dan found an empty sofa in a corner of the club. The music was quieter over here, no longer so loud that talking would be impossible. He collapsed onto the cushions and spread Phil’s jacket across his lap. The back of the sofa was low, only coming up to his mid-back — probably to stop people from getting too relaxed and not partaking in the whole club thing. Slouching down so his shoulders were supported, Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket to tell Phil where he was.

The first thing he noticed was the time — almost exactly half past eleven. His interview with Jimmy Fallon would be airing any minute now.

The second thing he noticed was about half a dozen text messages from Louise.

Before he opened her messages, Dan shot Phil a quick text, trying to describe the dark corner he was sat in. Switching over to his conversation with Louise, Dan skimmed over her messages. She’d asked how the recording had gone, what his plans were for the evening, cheekily teased that she hoped Dan wasn’t responding because he was getting laid, and promised to tweet about the show for him — bless her, she really was the best friend and manager he could hope for.

Quickly, Dan typed a quick message back, ignoring most of what she’d said and just updating her on things more generally.

Dan [11:28PM]: taping was good i’m happy with it. i’m sure you’ll see soon. phil and i are out. i’ll ring tomorrow xx

Dan was just hitting send when Phil appeared above him. He shuffled back up into a proper sitting position, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Cocking an eyebrow at Dan’s movement, Phil passed Dan a lowball of something dark and on ice.

“Just Louise,” Dan said as an answer to Phil’s silent question and took a sip of his drink. It was some kind of whiskey, something much more bitter than whatever the blue concoction Phil was holding probably was. Dan was grateful that Phil seemed to remember his drink preferences, even though they’d only ordered cocktails together a small handful of times. He didn’t think he could stomach drinking something as colorful and sugary as Phil’s. “Thanks,” Dan said with a smile and a tip of his glass in Phil’s direction.

“You’re welcome,” Phil replied, twisting slightly to face Dan as his free arm came to rest on the back of the sofa behind him. “Sorry about that, by the way.” Phil pointedly nodded his head back towards the door. “I didn’t think he’d hit on me, especially not with you there. Hell, I didn’t even know if he’d be working.”

Dan shrugged, twisting slightly so that he was facing more towards Phil than the rest of the room. “It’s’not your fault,” Dan said genuinely. “Although, you promised me he wasn’t cuter than me.” Petulantly, Dan huffed and sent a glare in the direction of the entrance.

“And?” Phil chuckled, his hand slipping from the sofa, his fingers grazing along Dan’s ribcage. Something about the way Phil was so casually sprawling across the sofa, the sheer manliness of the position, combined with the gentle drag of his fingers on Dan’s side was fucking attractive. “Tha’bloke is nowhere near as stunning as you,” Phil continued, his voice low and sincere.

Dan stuck his bottom lip out, pouting up at Phil. “Are y’kidding?” Dan whined. “He looked like me, but with actual muscles an’ not limp noodle arms.”

Phil’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. His eyes dragged over Dan, lingering on his arms, his chest. Dan squirmed under Phil’s intense gaze, and he was certain his cheeks were growing red. He slouched down again; Phil was taller than him now, and Dan had to tip his head up to look at him. From this angle, Dan had a perfect view of the red marks blossoming on Phil’s neck, and he felt pride swell deep in his stomach.

“I’ll admit I have a bit of a thing for dark hair an’ pretty eyes,” Phil conceded, a small smirk on his face and humor lacing his voice. Elbow still resting on the back of the sofa, Phil bent his arm so he could run his hand through Dan’s hair, petting sweetly. Dan couldn’t resist just slightly leaning his head back into the touch, silently encouraging Phil to continue his ministrations. Jesus christ, he loved his hair being played with, both in and out of the bedroom. “But the muscles don’t really do anything for me.” Phil shrugged casually, his eyes dropping from Dan’s again to salaciously rake over his body.

“In fact,” Phil continued, his voice suddenly lower, huskier. Sexier. “I prefer that you’re a li’le more narrow ‘n me.” The hand in Dan’s hair slid down. Phil’s fingers lightly traced down the side of Dan’s neck, making Dan’s skin feel on fire and his breath catch in his throat. Phil scooched a little more towards Dan, and the close proximity made Dan have to look up even more. “I like being able’ta wrap you up in my arms.”

Arm wrapped around Dan’s shoulder, Phil pulled him in so that Dan’s shoulder was leaning against Phil’s chest, making Dan feel tiny — and not in the bad way he had a minute ago, when he’d been comparing himself to the fit bouncer out front.

This time, Dan was less subtle about the way he settled into Phil’s embrace. He brought the leg closest to Phil up, and let his knee fall into Phil’s lap. Phil seemed to welcome the new position, his other hand shifting to rest his drink on Dan’s thigh.

In sync, they both took a sip of their cocktails, and Dan found himself completely distracted from the bitter taste as he stared heatedly into Phil’s eyes. Pointedly, Dan flicked his gaze down to Phil’s glass with a challenging spark in his eye, and tipped his own drink back further. It wasn’t until the liquid was half gone that Dan stopped. With a small smirk, Phil followed Dan’s lead, lifting his glass higher and chugging.

Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Phil’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and god, he wanted to drag his teeth against it, nip and lick Phil’s neck, add to the marks already there. He wanted to make Phil feel good, wanted to chase the sharpness of the whiskey away with the taste of Phil’s skin.

Overcome with the need to kiss Phil right now, Dan nestled his glass by his hip and tugged on Phil’s wrist. Phil clearly got the hint, his eyes twinkling with mirth and his drink lowering to Dan’s leg.

Pulled together like unstoppable magnets, they both leaned in, their lips meeting with heady passion that was likely too much for a nightclub. Phil tasted fruity and sweet, a perfect contrast to the heavy, bitter flavor of whiskey lingering in Dan’s mouth. Their lips moved against each other, Phil’s tongue almost immediately dragging along Dan’s lower lip, practically demanding entrance. Pliant and desperate for anything Phil would give him, Dan parted his lips and let Phil in. Hot desire rushed through Dan’s veins, his arousal only growing when Phil licked behind his teeth.

Dan let himself be kissed, pushing up, up, up into Phil, chasing the overwhelming feeling of Phil. It was so much, and yet not enough.

A sharp tug of Dan’s hair forced him to tip his head back further — and jesus fuck, that was hot. The new angle gave Phil access to Dan’s neck, and his lips worked their way down from Dan’s mouth to his pulse point. Beneath Phil’s mouth, Dan could feel his blood rushing, his heart pounding, and he never wanted this moment to end. The soft scrape of Phil’s teeth on his skin drew a loud moan out of Dan and caused his muscles to go slack.

Wet, cold liquid splashed onto Dan’s thigh, and he tore himself away from Phil’s lips. He looked down, finding his glass tipped precariously to the side. Oops.

Now that their drinks were emptier and the music was louder, any hope of carrying on a proper conversation had slipped away. That was fine — they’d talked plenty at dinner, and there’d be plenty of time for talking later.

Sitting upright, Dan drained the last sips of his whiskey, motioning for Phil to do the same. There were only a few gulps left in Phil’s, and he obediently knocked it back. As soon as the drink was empty, Dan snatched the glass out of Phil’s hand and hurriedly put them both on the table. His movements were careless and clumsy, resulting in one of the glasses almost immediately tipping over and ice spilling out.

Dan ignored the mess — he didn’t particularly care about anything other than Phil right now. Dan swooped back in and pressed his lips to Phil’s, his leg shifting so that he was nearly straddling Phil. Warm, firm hands gripped Dan’s hips, lifting and pulling until Dan was fully in Phil’s lap.

“Fuck,” Dan moaned against Phil’s lips, painfully turned on by the way Phil was fucking manhandling him. Dan wanted more, needed to be closer, so he tangled his hands in Phil’s quiff, bracing his elbows against Phil’s shoulders so that he could lean up and kiss Phil harder. Phil’s hands crept under Dan’s tight jumper, and his nails dug into Dan’s waist, making Dan hyper aware of every single one of Phil’s fingers.

Phil’s touch on Dan’s bare sides was electrifying, and a surge of pleasure shot up Dan’s spine. Needing to do something with the heat that was radiating from every inch of his body, Dan found himself grinding his hips down into Phil’s.

“Yeah, baby,” Phil slurred, pulling roughly and guiding Dan to rock his hips forward again. Phil felt so fucking good beneath Dan, solid, warm, and — jesus — growing hard.

Dan’s cock had calmed down some while Phil had fetched their drinks, but the friction of Phil’s hips, the tease of Phil’s hard on, made it swell in interest again.

Tearing his lips away from Phil’s, Dan latched onto Phil’s neck and sucked hard, hard enough to surely leave another mark. Those could be tomorrow’s problem to worry about. Dan worked his way higher, leaving a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses up Phil’s neck. Phil’s fingers were digging into Dan’s hips, and it was fucking intoxicating — more so than the champagne and whiskey and whatever else they were going to drink could ever be.

“You —” Phil started, his words cut off by a loud gasp as Dan sucked on what must have been a particularly sensitive spot — Dan made a mental note, because he definitely wanted to make Phil do that again. “You look s’good like this,” Phil mumbled.

“Phhhh—” Dan moaned, unable to even get Phil’s name out. The compliment felt like a physical wave of pleasure rushing through Dan’s body, making him feel hot all over. Phil was so fucking right about that whole praise thing.

Dan caught the lobe of Phil’s ear in his mouth, letting his teeth graze over it and his tongue dart out to flick it. Pushing up just a hair, Dan slid his hands from Phil’s hair, down his neck, over his shoulders, and down to his chest. Dan couldn't resist bunching Phil’s shirt in his fists, massaging over Phil’s nipples with his thumbs.

“Good, because when we get back to the hotel room,” Dan whispered into Phil’s ear, “I wanna ride you.”

“Fuck,” Phil cursed, his hand rucking Dan’s jumper up high enough that his fingers stroked the bottom of Dan’s ribcage. “Yeah, okay.”

Surprised at how easily Phil had agreed, Dan pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Wait, really? You’re cool with that being how we fuck tonight?”

“Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan,” Phil mumbled, his hands tracing rough lines up and down the naked skin of Dan’s waist. “You have no idea how sexy you look above me. Trust me, I definitely want to see you like this, filled up with my cock.”

Dan’s cock twitched, and he had to restrain himself from rocking forward again. “Jesus, Phil,” Dan panted, his hands gripping Phil’s shoulders tightly as he tried to hold onto some grain of composure. “You can’t just say shit like that.”

“And why’s that?” Phil teased, his thumbs dragging back and forth across Dan’s ribs, the feeling absolutely heavenly. It was somehow hot and tender at the same time, and Dan wanted more more more.

“You know why, you fucking asshole,” Dan grumbled, leaning back down to kiss along Phil’s neck. Dan was beginning to accept that Phil was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to actually admit it out loud.

“You ‘n your praise kink make this too fucking easy,” Phil murmured, half panting, half chuckling.

“Don’t take ‘vantage of me,” Dan mumbled jokingly into Phil’s neck, lightly nipping at Phil’s shoulder.

Properly laughing this time, Phil slid his hands down to Dan’s hips and used his leverage to push him back. The momentum forced Dan all the way back to Phil’s knees — something Dan was thoroughly disgruntled about. But then one of Phil’s hands left Dan’s waist and thumbed over his cheek, a soft and fond look on his face, and Dan couldn’t help but melt. He might have been horny and hot, but he was so damn enamoured that the tender gesture affected him just as much as the grinding and wandering hands had.

“If we keep down this path, I’m gonna have a hard time keeping m’hands to myself,” Phil teased, a playful smirk toying at his lips. His other hand dipped into Dan’s jeans and stroked the long, prominent bone of his hip, as if to prove his point. Fuck, just Phi’s fingers on his hip was enough to drive Dan fucking mad, he didn’t know how he was going to manage to get through the night and back to their hotel without losing control.

“How ‘bout we dance for a bit?” Phil proposed suddenly. Shocked and unable to process Phil’s suggestion, Dan snapped his head back and stared down at Phil with bleary eyes, blinking slowly. The fuck?

Dancing? Right, okay. Dan could be up for dancing. But...

Dan glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the club, confused. Just like he remembered, there wasn’t exactly room for dancing anywhere. However, Dan noticed that there were several couples that were making out, feeling each other up, grinding hips desperately together.

“Uh, where?” Dan questioned skeptically. From his quick glance around, it seemed like dancing would actually draw more attention to them than snogging in a dark corner.

“Dance floor. Downstairs,” Phil explained, his head nodding toward the opposite corner. Dan followed the direction of Phil’s nod, noticing a dimly lit staircase for the first time. Of course — a lot of clubs separated sitting areas from dancing areas, Dan’s tipsy brain had just been too out of it to process.

“Sounds good,” Dan mumbled in agreement, dipping down to kiss at Phil’s neck one more time before he had to climb out of Phil’s lap. “We should have somethin’ else t’drink first, though. I’m a rubbish dancer,” he chuckled. It wasn’t entirely true, but Phil didn’t have to know that just yet.

The excuse sounded better than I wanna be drunk and free with you. Plus, maybe Dan’s decent dancing would be a pleasant surprise later.

Phil’s hand slipped out from Dan’s shirt, and ran up his chest. “How ‘bout you take our jackets to the coat check an’ I’ll order us something else t’drink, baby?” Phil suggested, his tone not really leaving room for Dan to argue as his hands dipped under Dan’s leather jacket, carefully shrugging it off his shoulders.

Dan’s jacket caught around his biceps, hanging from his arms in the gayest of fashions and he loved it. He wiggled his knees backwards until he was hovering above Phil’s hips and could easily rest his feet on the floor.

“Alright, let’s go then,” Dan agreed, backing off Phil entirely and holding one hand out to help him off the sofa. Dan was excited to dance, it would give him something a little less slutty to do with all his energy. Grabbing Phil’s jacket, Dan nodded once at Phil before heading back down the deserted hallway from earlier — only now it wasn’t as deserted. Dan passed three couples heatedly kissing before he even got to the coat check booth. But then again, surely snogging in public wasn’t that slutty if this many people were doing it.

Smiling at the employee, Dan dropped Phil’s denim jacket onto the small ledge and shrugged out of his own leather one, not bothering to tuck his phone into his pants pocket before he handed it to the guy across the bar. Tonight was about letting go, and the only person who could really need him had Phil’s number now.

Dan took the coat-check number from the worker, tucking it into his back pocket, and made his way back to the bar. Phil was standing at the far end, twisted around and watching for Dan.

And fuck, he looked good. Sometime while Dan had been gone, Phil had loosened up a little bit. The top four buttons of his shirt were undone, and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, and god help Dan because he was pretty sure he was about to come in his fucking pants. Phil looked so goddamn seductive leaning back against the bar like that, his shirt dipping down, his chest peeking out, his forearms taut.

Phil was gorgeous and sexy and so entirely manly — Dan couldn’t get enough.

It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of Phil that Dan realized that there were no cocktails — no, instead there were two double shots in front of Phil, plus a small plate of lime wedges and a salt shaker. Tequila, then.

“Get ov’r here, mister,” Phil demanded, a smile on his face as he made grabby hands for Dan. Fucking hell, it should be illegal for someone to be so sexy and so cute at the same time. Dan could only handle so much, and his cock and his heart were competing for blood at this point. “I ordered us shots.”

“Shots, huh?” Dan teased, one hand coming to rest on the bar on the outside of Phil’s hip. “A simple drink wasn’t good enough for you, then?”

“I figured neither of us could manage a drink an’ dancing a’the same time.” Phil shrugged with a smile, turning back toward the bar and letting his arse grind into Dan’s hips as he pulled their shots closer to them.

Fuck. Phil really knew how to play Dan.

“Come here,” Phil murmured as he twisted back around, his hands landing on Dan’s hips. In one smooth movement, Phil spun them around and switched their positions. Before Dan could fully process the change, his waist was pressing into the bar and Phil’s crotch was digging into his arse. “Take a shot with me.”

Phil’s voice was deep and gruff, and the scratchiness of it made Dan’s stomach flip over and over in desire. He bloody adored how Phil was taking care of him tonight, somehow perfectly in charge of all of Dan’s needs, intuitively aware of what Dan would find the sexiest and most fun at any given moment.

Dan reached for a tequila shot with one hand, his other grabbing a lime. Realizing his mistake — it was salt, tequila, lime, after all — Dan dropped his lime in favor of reaching for the salt shaker. Phil beat him to it, though, licking a long stripe up his own hand and shaking two small mounds of salt along the line.

“Here,” Phil murmured into Dan’s ear, bringing his hand level with Dan’s mouth.

Not hesitating to check their surroundings or respond, Dan surged forward and sucked the salt off Phil’s hand. Phil moved quickly, his head dipping forward and licking his hand at the same time as Dan, their cheeks pressing together. Simultaneously, they both lifted their shots to their mouths, tipping the tequila down their throat. Behind him, Dan could feel Phil gulp, could feel his neck and his chest and his stomach move as he swallowed the alcohol.

Phil got to the lime first, holding it in front of Dan’s lips. Leaning forward, Dan sucked the lime into his mouth, taking care to drag his lips along Phil’s fingers as well. Soft vibrations rumbled against Dan’s back, and it took his drunken brain a second to realize that they were from Phil moaning.

Phil dropped the lime to the bar and reached for the other wedge, but Dan knocked his hand out of the way. It was his turn.

Grabbing the second wedge, Dan spun around to face Phil. Dan tried his intoxicated best to arrange his face into a seductive look as he held the wedge up to Phil’s mouth and nudged it against his lips. Maybe it was successful, because Dan glanced up at Phil’s eyes and saw that his pupils were wide and dark. He looked hungry, Dan thought, but it wasn’t for the lime.

Regardless, Phil parted his lips and sucked on it, pulling the tips of Dan’s fingers into the wet heat of his mouth, too.

Fucking hell, no wonder Phil had moaned when Dan had done that. Now that Dan’s fingers were in Phil’s mouth, now that Phil’s tongue was licking along his skin, Dan couldn’t help but imagine something else in Phil’s mouth, and — fuck.

Pulling back off the wedge with a loud pop, Phil smirked at Dan, linking their hands together under the bar. “Let’s go dance.”

“Yeah,” Dan agreed, breathless, carelessly dropping the lime back to the plate and letting Phil tug him along. Together, they weaved through the aisles of sofas to the steep staircase leading to the mystery basement.

When they reached the stairs, Phil dropped Dan’s hand, opting to grab the handrail instead. Rightfully so, too. The steps were steep and winding, and Dan was sure that even Sober Him would struggle. Dan followed, holding tight to the railing and sticking close to Phil.

Less than halfway down, the twisting was already fucking with Dan’s drunken head, nearly making him stumble and fall. Luckily, the staircase was narrow and Phil was directly in front of him, so Dan was able to catch himself before he tumbled out of control.

After what seemed like forever, they rounded the last twist and the stairs opened up to a packed dance floor. The music was a million times louder down here, the lights flashing and moving, subtle fog machines trying to make the whole place scream sexy. Everywhere Dan looked, there were men dancing, grinding, kissing. It was the kind of place he hadn’t gotten to indulge in since his late teens, and he was suddenly incredibly eager to embrace the atmosphere.

Stepping around Phil, Dan grabbed Phil by the hand and drug him out to the dance floor. They weaved passed couple after couple until they were packed into the middle of the crowd, disappearing into plain sight thanks to the drunk dancers surrounding them.

Dan spun around to face Phil, alcohol causing the world to blur around the edges. It took a second for Dan’s eyes to focus again, and when they did, he realized that Phil was blatantly checking him out. The way Phil was looking at him, with wide pupils and parted lips, made Dan feel like the sexiest guy in the room — maybe even in all of New York.

“C’mere,” Phil demanded, nearly shouting to be heard over the music. His message was clear though; there was no mistaking what Phil wanted when he grabbed Dan’s hips and pulled him in close. Dan stumbled forward willingly, and he had a feeling he’d walk straight across the threshold to hell if Phil guided him. On instinct, Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck; they were close — so, so close. Their chests were just centimeters apart, their hands spread wide like they were trying to touch as much of each other as they could. Together, they started to move in time to the thumping bass of the music.

Dan giggled, drunk and horny and maybe just a little bit slap-happy.

What? Phil mouthed with furrowed brows and an amused smile.

Dan smiled and stepped closer so he could try to explain; their chests were touching now and Dan could feel Phil dancing. Dan leaned in so that he could yell directly into Phil’s ear. “I feel like I’m back at my year eight dance.” Dan tugged on the hair at the nape of Phil’s neck and pointedly wiggled his hips, hoping Phil would telepathically understand Dan’s logic.

Phil laughed, loud and shameless, with his tongue poking out and his eyes nearly closed. He looked happy and gorgeous and Dan’s heart was beating in a way that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the minute amount of physical exercise.

Smile still plastered on his face, Phil pulled Dan impossibly closer, causing their hips to crash together, and god Dan loved how their hips felt when they were pressed together. He could have sworn he could feel the outline of Phil’s cock, and it only made him more excited for later.

“Only if you got kicked out,” Phil teased, his hands dropping down to Dan’s arse and squeezing, as if to prove his point. And yeah, that move was definitely forbidden back in year eight. Maybe it was a good thing too, because thirteen-year-old Dan might’ve fucking cum in his pants if someone did that to him then. Fucking hell, twenty-three-year-old Dan was on the verge of doing so, maybe the club should be a little more regulated.

Maybe a touch too late, Dan vehemently shook his head — grinding at dances wasn’t even remotely his life at thirteen. At thirteen, Dan was sexually confused and his only quality friendship was Louise. (Although, four years later, Dan was much less confused and was actively looking for just about anyone who would pop his cherry.)

Now, though, Dan was entirely comfortable with his sexual preferences, even if he did waiver between labels from time to time. At the very least, Dan could say with complete confidence that he was fucking attracted to the man in front of him, and he was fucking hot for the fact that they were surrounded by other gay couples.

And now that Phil’s hands were on his arse, pulling him closer so that their hips, their cocks, rubbed together, Dan couldn’t think about anything else.

So Dan let go. He let the champagne and the whiskey and the tequila take over, let his inhibitions fade away. The music was so loud that Dan could feel it in his soul, the remixed-nineties music just familiar enough to make Dan feel like he knew what he was doing, the added beats just fast enough to make him feel sexy. Hands still tangled around Phil’s neck, Dan pushed his hips forward and rocked them against Phi’s.

His hips moved on their own accord, swaying and grinding and moving in time with the music. Phil moved with him, their crotches rubbing together over and over as remixed versions of TLC, Christina Aguilera, and Destiny’s Child pulsed around them. It was hot, god it was hot. The dance floor was so packed, so anonymous, and Dan couldn’t hold back from closing the fucking microscopic amount of distance between them, kissing Phil over and over again as the night grew later and later.

At some point, Phil twisted Dan around. It came almost out of nowhere — one minute they were grinding together, and the next, Phil was manhandling Dan, shifting their positions so that Phil’s semi-hard cock was rubbing against Dan’s arse, and fucking hell that was hot. Some bassed-up version of Baby Got Back was playing, so loud that the song was almost all-consuming. The sober recesses of Dan’s mind tried to remind him of that scene from Friends, the one where Ross and Rachel sang this to their infant and offended each other, but the drunk and horny parts of Dan were far too focused on the way Phil was grinding into his arse, the way Phil’s hands were sliding further and further down his hips, to properly process anything about the music. Phil rubbed his hands over and over the front of Dan’s hips, pulling him closer and grazing his cock with every pass. Moaning, Dan let his head fall back onto Phil’s shoulder, and Phil’s neck was right there, so of course Dan mouthed along it. The music was too loud to hear much of anything over it, but Dan could feel Phil’s throat vibrate with a moan, could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his hips the slightest bit harder. They were touching everywhere, flushed together from head to toe and Phil felt like Dan’s whole world tonight.

Dan rocked his hips back, soaking up the heady sensation of Phil’s cock rubbing against him, feeling more and more intoxicated off lust than alcohol by the second. Trying not to overthink it, Dan reached behind himself and wrapped his arm around Phil’s neck, his fingers tangling in the short hair at the back of Phil’s head.

The breath was nearly knocked out of Dan when Phil pushed up Dan’s short shirtsleeve with his mouth, and kissed along his inner bicep as he drug his lips up Dan’s arm. Fucking hell, Dan was definitely about to combust and cum on the spot if Phil kept doing that. Phil’s lips latched onto Dan’s arm, sucking and surely leaving a mark and fuck Dan had never been so glad to have worn a short sleeve shirt as he was right now.

Once again, the music shifted, and the iconic first notes of Britney rung out. Within seconds, Dan recognized the song, and given how Phil’s fingers tightened on his hips, he reckoned Phil did, too. And god, he wanted to look at Phil while they danced to this.

Dan tried to twist around, and Phil’s grip loosened just enough to let him move, his fingers dragging deliciously over Dan’s skin as he turned. They readjusted quickly, Dan’s arms wrapping around Phil’s neck and Phil’s hands lowering to grope Dan’s arse.

“Baby, can’t you see,” Dan murmured huskily into Phil’s ear, his tongue darting out to lick Phil’s earlobe. Slowly, sensually, Dan slipped his arms from Phil’s neck and dragged his hands across Phil’s chest. He moved slowly, his fingernails raking across Phil’s shirt, pausing to rub at Phil’s nipples.

“Jesus, babe,” Phil mumbled, the words barely more than a strangled groan. The fingers on Dan’s arse tightened, forcefully pulling until Dan’s hips were grinding against Phil’s. Their cocks rubbed together, and Dan rocked his hips again, desperate to feel and feel and feel.

Phil was half hard, and so was Dan, and the friction was amazing. Pleasure shot through Dan, his cock twitching and a quiet moan tumbling from his lips. Dan couldn’t resist tangling his fingers in Phil’s hair, dragging him just the slightest bit closer, not that there was really much distance left between them.

The music continued to pound around them, and Dan continued to rock his hips forward in time with the beat. He wanted so much, and the grinding was just a small tease. Through the fabric, Dan could feel Phil growing harder and harder, making Dan want more. Heat and desire and lust were building in the pit of Dan’s stomach, and he just fucking wanted.

He wanted to taste Phil’s cock in his mouth. He wanted to feel Phil’s bare cock throbbing against his own. He wanted to be stretched around Phil, full and satisfied.

This song — this song out of all the late-nineties and early-two-thousands songs — fucking got to Dan. And he didn’t think it was fully his fault, it wasn’t like he had a thing for it three months ago. But then, one of the earliest videos he’d watched on AmazingPhil was Phil dancing half naked to this song — there was really no coming back from that.

Dan kissed up Phil’s neck, coming to a stop just a short centimeter from Phil’s ear. “Ya know,” he started huskily. He could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his arse, could see how Phil’s breath hitched. Mischievously, Dan continued, “I jacked off to this video.”

The effect was immediate — Phil froze and inhaled so sharply that Dan could actually hear the gasp over the music. For a second, the world was frozen; it was just Dan staring at Phil, a smug smirk on his face, and Phil staring back, shocked and wide-eyed.

And then Phil’s lips crashed onto Dan’s, moving insistently, hotly, and the world was moving again.

The kiss was merciless, Phil’s tongue immediately licking at Dan’s lips and demanding entrance — not that Dan was complaining. He opened his mouth and let Phil in, let Phil ravage him. Phil’s hands disappeared from Dan’s arse, only to land on his cheeks, firmly holding his head in place so Phil could kiss him harder.

There was no air in Dan’s lungs, and he didn’t give a single fuck. The shortness of breath only made everything hotter, and jesus that was a kink Dan didn’t think he had, but then again, he might find any kink hot if it was with Phil. Phil was so in control, so hungry, so domineering, and Dan couldn’t get enough of it.

Phil pulled back without warning, leaving Dan a panting mess. They were so, so close, and Phil’s eyes were nothing but black pupils. He looked ready to fucking devour Dan, and Dan really hadn’t expected this strong of a response but he was living for it. It was making him feel wanted and sexy.

“We’re going,” Phil snapped, his hands roughly unwinding Dan’s arms from his neck. “Right. Fucking. Now.”

Phil’s words were sharp, making it clear that this wasn’t a request. He sounded like he was on the verge of losing control, looked like he might shove Dan against the nearest wall, and take him right then and there.

Their fingers tangled together and Phil spun around, dragging Dan behind him as he pushed his way through the dancing crowd. It was a good thing Phil was holding Dan so tightly, because he was moving so fast that Dan might have gotten lost if their hands got separated.

Phil didn’t stop moving until they’d made it up the stairs, all the way past the sofas and down the hallway. They came to an abrupt halt in front of the coat check window and — shit, right. Their jackets.

Dan dug through his pockets, searching for the tiny ticket that he’d shoved somewhere. Phil’s heavy stare wasn’t helping, only making him feel more flustered and rushed and desperate to get the fuck out of there already.

“Dan,” Phil said, a hint of reprimand and urgency in his voice that spurred Dan to move faster. His fingers finally closed around the small slip, and he wrangled it out, holding it up triumphantly. Phil ripped the ticket out of Dan’s hand, his only response a single approving nod. Phil slammed it down on the counter, his eyes never once drifting from Dan’s.

The coat check worker chuckled — it was probably perfectly clear what was going on. But even that wasn’t enough to drag Phil’s eyes away from Dan. Dan swallowed thickly, his mouth dry, as he held Phil’s gaze. He couldn’t fucking think with Phil looking at him like that. Struck dumb, Dan licked his lips as he waited to see what would happen next.

Phil’s grip was still tight, and he tugged on Dan’s hand. Drunk and caught off guard, Dan stumbled forward, colliding with Phil.

“You’re so sexy,” Phil whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard. “I can’t wait t’fuck you.”

Dan whimpered, fucking whimpered. Phil was so much filthier than his new videos made him seem, he was dirty in all the right ways. Although, looking back, Dan could see some of this Phil in the much younger Phil that had filmed the Toxic video.

The rustling of their jackets hitting the counter jolted Dan and Phil out of their bubble. Both of their heads snapped to face the window, and Dan could tell his cheeks were probably flushed red. He’d forgotten that there was someone else nearby, that someone else was probably paying proper attention to them.

Phil reached out to pull the bundle of clothes closer, clearly avoiding looking at the coat check person. “Put this on s’we can leave,” Phil ordered, shoving Dan’s leather jacket into his chest.

Dan didn’t need telling twice; he sprung into action and clumsily shrugged into his jacket, his hands getting caught several times. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was thanks to the alcohol or lust, but he didn’t care.

Phil slapped a few bills on the counter and grabbed his own coat.

“Thanks boys,” the clerk said cheerfully. “Have a good night! Don’t forget protection!”

Oh god. Dan felt his cheeks grow hot. He didn’t mind people noticing him and Phil were itching to fuck, but christ, he really didn’t expect a random stranger to actually say it.

Phil grumbled something in response, something Dan didn’t quite hear or process, and guided Dan back down the hallway, one hand firmly pressed against Dan’s lower back.

Hot breath washed over Dan’s ear, and he belatedly realized that Phil was close. “I really don’t wanna use a condom,” Phil muttered into his ear. Dan’s breath hitched, and Phil’s fingers curled around to his sides, not giving him a chance to recover before continuing. “Wanna feel you ‘n fill you up.”

“Fuck,” Dan huffed, his mind not able to think about anything other than Phil’s bare cock pressed into him, pumping cum deep into his arse. “Yeah, please. ‘M clean.”

“Good,” Phil said with a note of finality. He opened the club door and ushered Dan through it. Dan stopped just outside the entrance, hovering and waiting for direction from Phil. Phil stood close, head bowed as he tapped on his phone. Dan looked around them, realizing that there was a line now, and the asshole bouncer from earlier was gone. Must have been after one, then.

“Ugh,” Phil groaned. “There’s a twen’y minute wait for’n uber.”

God that was so much longer than Dan wanted to wait. Brows furrowed, Dan glanced up at the street sign.

“We’re only like seven blocks from the hotel, w’can walk faster,” Dan pointed out.

“How’dya know that?” Phil asked, head snapping up, looking surprised.

Dan pointed to the numbered street sign. “Grid system. Let’s go,” Dan suggested, nodding his head in the right direction.

“Perfect,” Phil mumbled. He grabbed Dan’s hand and started walking. His pace wasn’t quite as fast as earlier, something Dan was rather grateful for. He didn’t think he could walk that quickly for seven blocks and not be too out of breath for sex.

The first block, Phil was still walking faster than normal, though. It wasn’t until they reached the first crosswalk and were forced to stop that they both breathed. The break calmed some of the out-of-control desire coursing through Dan’s veins, dulling it down to a pulsing lust. Dan turned to look at Phil, his eyes surely full of fond desire, a smile definitely pulling at his lips.

Phil bounced on his toes for a second, his movements slowing down when the light didn’t immediately change. Phil glanced at Dan, his heady expression melting slightly into something a bit softer, a bit more gentle. The passion and want were still there, but now there was something else, something sweeter, there too.

Now that they were out of the club, free from the throbbing bass of the music and away from the grinding couples, Dan’s mind felt a little clearer. It was chilly out, not quite cold but definitely cool enough that Dan felt justified leaning into Phil a bit, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder and sticking close. Phil smiled down at him fondly as Dan looked up at him through his lashes. The world around seemed to fade away, and there were butterflies fluttering in Dan’s stomach and god how was Phil so sexy and dominate and sweet all in the span of five minutes, this had to be illegal.

Dan’s eyes snapped away when the crosswalk chimed, and suddenly they were walking again. They weren’t the only ones out — if anything, there seemed to be more people on the streets now. As they made their way back to their hotel, they passed club after club, bar after bar, all with lines of drunk twenty-somethings.

Some sober, less reckless part of Dan warned him that all the people meant a higher chance of getting recognized, but he just didn’t care. He wasn’t about to stop and talk to a fan right now. It was Friday night, and the whole city seemed to be intoxicated, and Dan would just have to hope that everyone else was too drunk to notice him.

They came to stop at another intersection, just barely missing the chance to cross. Dan glanced around, taking in the city surrounding them. There was a group of girls nearby, smoking and drinking something out of brown paper bags. There were a few people outside a pizza place, drunkenly eating slices of pizza off white paper plates as they sat on the curb. There was a couple across the way, fighting loudly about something Dan couldn’t make out.

It was late and crowded and everyone was too focused on themselves to take note of anyone else. It was the kind of crowd that made everyone anonymous. The neon city lights were blurry, and made it hard to see the details of anything — although maybe that part was just Dan.

Regardless, he didn't care.

Phil was so close, so warm by Dan’s side and Dan just wanted more.

“Kiss me,” Dan asked, nearly begged, as he looked back at Phil. His voice was high and nearly breathless, so affected that he probably would have been embarrassed by how fucking needy he sounded if the situation had been different. But as it was, this was Phil, Phil who seemed to instinctively understand every single desire Dan had.

Phil smiled at Dan softly, turning so they were face to face. Without hesitation, Phil closed the distance between them, doing as Dan asked. Phil kissed him slowly but thoroughly, his lips moving languidly, his tongue slipping between Dan’s teeth and licking along the roof of his mouth.

“Mmm,” Dan hummed into Phil’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, his elbows resting on Phil’s shoulders, wrists crossed behind his head.

Phil’s lips twitched into the ghost of a smile, but he kept kissing, his arms wrapping around Dan’s waist and pulling him closer.

It was hot — kissing Phil would always be hot — but it was also sweet and maybe even a little romantic. Dan had never kissed someone on the street until Isabella, and in hindsight, everything about those kisses had been for the wrong reasons. This kiss, right now with Phil, wasn’t for pizza eaters or smokers or fighters. This kiss had nothing to do with the audience, and everything to do with the fact that Dan was so fucking head over heels for Phil that Dan couldn’t couldn’t resist kissing him for the two minutes it took for the crosswalk light to change.

At some point, Louise had told him that all of this was so much better when you loved someone, and Dan was realizing how right she was because just kissing had never been this good.

Love.

The word crashed over Dan, suddenly the only thing he could think as he drunkenly kissed his boyfriend in the middle of New York City at two in the morning.

Dan loved Phil.

Dan was one hundred percent, completely and totally in love with the boy kissing him.

Gasping, Dan pulled back from the kiss, his eyes flying open.

“What?” Phil asked breathlessly, a note of urgency in his voice.

“I — nothing.” Dan swallowed thickly, there was no way he could say what he was thinking. Not now, not already. His gaze drifted over Phil’s shoulder and caught on the signal, which was now showing a white walking man. “We can cross now.”

Dan hoped his voice was steady, hoped it wasn’t obvious that his mind was somewhere, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t very subtle. If Phil noticed, though, he didn’t say anything. He just followed Dan into the street, one arm still wrapped around his waist, holding Dan close as they continued walking. Dan leaned into Phil’s side, stumbling slightly and focusing entirely too much on the way Phil’s fingers had dipped under his shirt and were thumbing over his side, and not nearly enough of the sidewalk.

Yeah, Dan was definitely in love with him.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phandom #phan au #barista!phil #singer!dan #au #coffeeshop au #ly #love yourself #ly 32 #iminclinedtowriting #mine

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philester · 6 years ago

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I don’t want to come across as rude, but your suggestion that Dan and Phil are just “regular you tubers that don’t interact with fans as much” really annoyed me. Phil talks to us just as much as he did before and has been putting up regular content. Dan put off seeing a therapist for months to put on a show for all of us, and now that he wants a break people are complaining. I get that you want communication, but we as a community need to stop acting like this is owed to us. It is not.

I’m sorry if that seems harsh, anush. I really like you and follow you, but this is something I really disagree with. It makes me so sad that we as fans treat Dan and Phil solely as entertainment or content creators and not as people first. Dan would not be taking a break unless he truly needed this break. He is not doing it to make us suffer or feel bad. He is doing it for him. I know we’d all love a tweet to explain things a little more, but again, it’s absolutely not something we’re owed.

sorry if it rubbed you the wrong way, but i wasn’t imposing my views on anyone. I said for me personally, it seemed like dan and phil were not as connected to us as before. like...the reason why i enjoyed dan and phil as people was not because of their videos its because they interact with their fans a lot and appreciate us. im not really sure how it was before 2015, but when i joined, every single day dan and phil either tweeted, had a video uploaded, or had a liveshow. they’ve completely stopped the liveshows, and only phil is uploading currently. which is definitely better than nothing. And like you said, yes, they don’t owe us anything. which i accept! i know they still appreciate their fans a lot, but im saying they are starting to seem like ‘other youtubers’ in the way that other youtubers appreciate their fans, but they still make their own unique videos or they have a community tab/patreon for special interactions. which it seems like phil, at least, from what we can see, is moving towards.

dan creates his own content and its up to him to decide when he wants to upload or not. he said that he wants to take a creative break from youtube and i definitely appreciate that he needs this and he is doing this for himself. and i accept that. all im saying is that the dynamic has shifted from dan and phil giving the people what they want to doing things for themselves. and while we were all kind of saying that, we didnt really know what it would entail. and its a big change for all of us. thats why I, PERSONALLY, am deciding to be less attached to that part of dan and phil and im going to stop ‘obsessing’/ hyperfixating on the ‘dan and phil’ brand and see them in a different light. i will always love dan and phil, that isnt going anywhere.

as for the communication part, all dan and phil said was that dapg is going on a break, and that dan is going on a creative break. i didnt really see how that implied going on a ‘liveshow’ break or going on a ‘social media’ break. i mean eventually we found out that they probably won’t do liveshows anymore because dan and phil have both removed their younow links from their youtube channels. and phil is still keeping up with us on social media.

there are a lot of changes that are happening, which show that dan and phil aren’t what they used to be. and thats okay because you need to change to be relevant on youtube. anyways, i know im all over the place but i hope that made more sense. and as a side note, you can always disagree with me. obviously everyone has different opinions and i like to discuss my opinions respectfully if people discuss their opinions with me respectfully.

#this was super long askjdhlas #anon #ask

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plumbobpost · 7 years ago

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The Sims Community Census in a Nutshell

Sul sul!

As promised, here are the results of the survey that I put out for all of my followers. Please take these findings with a grain of salt; my following does not encompass everyone who plays The Sims. As such, it is possible that the results could be inaccurate to some degree.

Warning: the following post is very text-heavy.

The first question asked participants which games in The Sims series they currently play. The Sims two boasted a solid 83.7%, while The Sims 3 and 4 are each played by 34.2% and 35.6%, respectively. The next highest percentage is that of The Sims Medieval: 11.9%. The original game is tied with The Sims: Castaway Stories at 6.9%. Alternately, 4.5% of participants consider themselves lurkers, and several other games, including The Sims Bustin’ Out and MySims, rank at 0.5% each.

As for which title is the reigning favorite, The Sims 2 took the lead at 83.6%, with The Sims 3 following behind at 12.4%. The Sims 4 had a surprising 4%, while The Sims received no votes at all.

With regard to Simblr posting habits, the vast majority of simmers concentrate on one of these three areas: custom content (31.2%), gameplay (47.7%), and reblogs (40.2). In addition to those that post custom content, sims and lots weigh in at 27.6% and 21.1% each, while a sizable 30.7% of simmers post stories. Factoring in the 36.7% of participants who consider themselves lurkers and the assorted other simmers who post headcanons, tutorials, or other content, The Sims community on Tumblr is very diverse in what it has to offer a player. To those lurkers: don’t be shy; we don’t bite.

The content that most simmers follow other blogs to see is storytelling, with 87% of participants listing that as their main interest. In a very close second, 86.5% simmers voted that they follow blogs that post custom content. Many players, many being 77.5% also choose to follow other players who post gameplay or information related to the history and or storylines related to the game.

Out of the participants, 75.9% have a specifically The Sims-themed blog. Of those individuals, 46.5% run one blog, 21.2% run two, and 32.3% run three or more, though only 24.% of those users run more than one The Sims-themed blog.

Outside of Tumblr, there were several recurring sites that simmers use to connect with each other and to find content and stories. The most recurring answer was, of course, Mod the Sims, with Garden of Shadows being mentioned almost as frequently. LiveJournal also remains a long term favorite, with several participants directly mentioning Strange Tomato and Skell’s stories. Other favorites include: Leefish, Plumbob Keep, Discord, Reddit, Simscave, and other sites, most of which are considered “dead” or inactive.

When it comes to gameplay, most simmers prefer a more challenging game with a mix of free will and micromanaging, and the general consensus is that “whatever is going to happen is going to happen” in gameplay as opposed to playing based on wants or with a story in mind. As for which kinds of sims are most played, 20.4% of players prefer EAxis premades, 31.3% prefer their own sims, and 48.3% enjoy playing both. The most entertaining answer was by far related to simmers’ favorite mods; almost every single answer had a very familiar acronym: ACR.

For those of you looking to branch out, current trends in challenges include: the legacy challenge (no surprise there), the build a city challenge (BaCC), the apocalypse challenge, the asylum challenge, and the 100 baby challenge among others. When it comes to style of custom content, Maxis Match reigns supreme at 63.2%, with semi-realistic coming in second at 31.8% and realistic at 5%. Those of you who enjoy watching gameplay as much as playing the game might take interest in some of the popular YouTubers among fans of The Sims: Dan and Phil Games, The Sim Supply, Deligracy, Matt Shea, The Jessa Channel, Lazy Game Reviews, Chrillsims 3, Rooster Teeth, and Mara, though it is worth noting that one individual pointed out the unfortunate lack of proper closed captioning on some of these videos.

Now for the non-game related bit: demographics! Over half of the players who participated in the census were females, and the largest age range of players was in the 18-24 demographic. The LGBTQ+ community is well-represented amongst simmers with a whopping 48.2% identifying as part of the community and 32.8% considering themselves allies. Additionally, there are simmers all over the world, with most residing in the US or Europe and some as far as the Middle East, Asia, and South Africa. The Sims Community is indeed a diverse group.

Just for fun, I included a question asking players why they enjoy The Sims. The most overwhelming answer was simply because it is fun and provides an escape. Other common answers elaborate on how the game provides an outlet for creativity, referred to as a “creativity toilet” by one user, and allows players to create their own characters and storylines. Many also stated that the game is nostalgic, with one eloquent simmer stating “It captured my heart as a child and refused to let go.”

I hope you found these results interesting. If so, please let me know. I am open to writing more surveys in the future, provided there’s interest. Thank you again to everyone who participated and to those of you over at the Maxis Shenanigans Discord server for your feedback on the questions.

As always, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to visit my ask box. If you are interested, give Plumbob Post a follow, and reblog for anyone else who you think would enjoy this blog. Stay tuned for upcoming posts.

Dag dag!

#the sims #the sims 2 #the sims 3 #the sims 4 #the sims community

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filterpermanentlyattached · 6 years ago

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It’s Okay to be an Introvert...an Open Letter to Dan and Phil

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks. This has always been something that I’ve known existed, but never really truly understood how it applied to me. When I was in my early teen years, I started to notice some differences between myself and my twin, my little sisters, and even most people I went to school with. They were all so outgoing, social, they seemed to truly enjoy hanging out with each other and from my perspective, didn’t have a lot of alone time. I can’t say I had a lot of truly ‘alone’ time as I am one of 4 kids, but I made sure to be away from people every day for some time.

I found myself starting to not want to be around people except for the basic social skills that I needed to acquire to be a functioning member of society. This struck me as a strange thing. No one else around me seemed to be this way. There were a few people that liked to have ‘sick’ days home from school to be alone, but those seemed to be more so they could escape their responsibilities for a few brief hours than to just not be around people.

I couldn’t figure out what was going on with me or why. I had a couple of friends in school, but they also seemed to enjoy being alone and that’s one of the reasons we got along so well.

Fast forward 17-18 years later and I am finding myself able to, for the first time, truly understand why I feel this way. Why I enjoy being alone sometimes, why I feel more energized when I have had the chance to be alone. This truly is thanks to Dan and Phil. When I came across their YouTube channels, I thought, ‘Hey, these guys are pretty funny, let’s see where this goes’. I had no idea I would relate to them so much. With so many of Dan’s videos, I hear my inner rants/monologues coming out of someone else’s mouth. With Phil, I hear someone who has retained a sense of innocence and fun which I try to incorporate into my daily life (some days more successfully than others).

Now, I know that there are people out there who are similar to me. That’s just simple statistics. As much as we are all told how special and unique we are growing up, the odds are more in favor of there being large numbers of us that share similar traits; and as an identical twin, I had a built in somebody who already shared many of my same traits. But I had never really met very many others like me that helped me to understand that I fall into this category of being an introvert, and what that truly means or entails.

Dan, thank you for being able to express what is truly on your mind allowing me to feel more connected to so many others who may share those opinions. Thank you for being open about getting through depression. I have some personal experience with this and just hearing you talk about it, helped me to understand and process a little more about what was happening in my life and some of those around me. Thank you for encouraging people to be themselves and making them feel empowered to do so.

Phil, thank you for your optimism. There is so much negativity in this world that viewing your videos and live streams always makes me smile. I try really hard to bring optimism with me to work and at home, it’s something that often times, someone else needs more than you do. If you can bring a little sunshine to them or make them smile, it will even bring a little joy to you knowing you’ve had a positive impact. Thank you for not swearing on your channel. I don’t swear. It isn’t because of any particular reason, I just don’t. My parents did, obviously people in society do, but I always felt weird whenever I tried to use those words.

Recently I was able to attend one of the shows on the Interactive Introverts World Tour. I’m still buzzing with how much I enjoyed it. You managed to be entertaining, the same Dan and Phil we all love, and had several good morals to share. Whether you intended to or not, you are truly making an impact on the lives of your fans and you are spreading awareness, positivity, acceptance, understanding, and a sense of connectivity. I’ve never had the opportunity to meet you (and quite frankly would be far to shy and unable to articulate any of this if I had), but I hope that someday, somehow, this letter finds you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing what you love. And lastly, thank you for always being out there on the internet for some of us introverted individuals.

#daniel howell #amazingphil #dan and phil #phan #interactive introverts #i think i said too much

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cafephan · 8 years ago

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Middle of the Night (I Need You)

Summary: Dan and Phil are stuck in their hotel room at Playlist after fans find out where they’re staying, so they make their own entertainment.

Genre: Reality, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.2k

Read on ao3

YouTube events are always hectic. The meet and greets are often disorganised and everyone runs riot, the green room fills up every year with more people that they don’t know, the ‘younger, fresher, new faces of online content’, and they often find themselves retreating either to the corner of the room or back to their hotel room as soon as they can.

But nothing is ever as hectic as the after-parties. Not the ones put on by the event, they can rarely be bothered to tolerate awkward small talk, whilst desperately trying to dodge any vlog cameras and snapchat stories and sipping on weak alcohol. Not that they can ever avoid being in an overwhelming amount of thumbnails.

No matter how many times they’ve subtly shown their disapproval at people doing as such.

So for the past few years, they’ve taken to hosting little parties of their own, inviting a few close friends over for drinks and easy chat. Everyone knows that Dan and Phil are introverts, they’ve said it themselves. Everyone also knows that Dan and Phil pretty much come as a package deal, and over time their friends have tired of teasing them about it. If anything, it’s one of the two men themselves who make a dig at their closeness.

Not being ones to break tradition, Playlist is no exception. The event’s party is happening in one of the event rooms somewhere on the ground floor, yet Dan and Phil are in their room, surrounded by their closest friends who are also fellow attendees. Drinks have been had and many a laugh have been shared, but as soon as Tom yawns, everyone begins to yawn, and the long day of panels and meetups begins to take its toll.

Slowly people begin to leave, each hugging Dan and Phil goodbye and thanking them for the get-together, and soon enough it is just the two of them in the big double room.

“So, what do we-“ Phil is cut off by Dan holding up a finger whilst he looks down at his phone.

Phil is about to throw a little tantrum (he can blame it on the alcohol despite not being anywhere near drunk) when Dan shoves his phone in Phil’s face, displaying a text from Cornelia.

Hope you two weren’t planning on leaving anytime tonight…. group of fans heading your way

“How did they even know to come here?” Phil asks, and Dan immediately places a finger to his lips, and nods towards the door.

Muffled voices can be heard, a lot of them by the sound of it.

“Is this the right room?” a voice asks.

“That’s what people are saying. They saw Phil head this way earlier today, I’m sure!” another replies, and Dan turns to face Phil again, and raises an eyebrow.

‘I told you!’ he mouths, and Phil shrugs.

‘I needed it!’ Phil replies, and Dan rolls his eyes.

‘It’s not even cold!’

‘You’re in a jumper!’

Dan waves his hand dismissively, and begins to mouth something else, but Phil can’t even begin to decipher it. He silently asks for it to be repeated, but instead Dan walks over to the desk at the far end of the room and picks up two of the complementary notepads provided by the hotel, and two of the many sharpies they brought for signing.

He then makes his way over to turn off the lights and then switches on the bedside lamps, and sits on one of the single beds (for some reason the hotel put them in adjoining rooms, one with two single beds and one with a double bed – needless to say this is the only time they’ll be using the single beds) and Phil sits on the opposite one, and Dan hands him a notepad and sharpie.

Why the lights?

Dan starts scribbling his reply.

Why do you think, genius?

Phil puts his sharpie to paper, but at the same second, yet another new voice speaks from outside their door.

“Okay I just messaged the person who saw him earlier and they said it’s definitely this room. They’re on their way too, actually.”

Best get used to lamplight and this old-school communication. Dan holds up his notepad, and a small smile has crept onto his lips.

Could we not just text? Phil replies, and Dan heads to writing again.

We could. But admit this is more fun.

Phil can’t deny it. It is fun.

Besides it’s free, it’d be rude not to! Dan is smiling widely, and it is virtually impossible for Phil not to match it.

You’re weird, he writes, and when Dan shrugs he writes again, But how long do you think we have to do this?

Dan’s sharpie is poised over his paper when one of the voices from outside speaks up again.

“Shall we just order pizza?”

A while by the sound of things…. do you think they’d give us some of that pizza?

Phil laughs, though immediately cups his hand over his mouth as they both listen to see if they were heard. When the next sounds they hear are someone ordering food from outside, they ease in relief.

It isn’t that they don’t love and appreciate their fans, of course they do, it’s just that after a packed schedule of panels and hours-long meetups, they need some time for themselves. Phil feels slightly guilty as it’s his fault, he was the one who insisted going back to their room to get a jacket (despite Dan telling him again and again he wouldn’t need it, which he didn’t in the end, but wore it anyway to prove a point) and some fans obviously saw him in the lobby and followed from a distance, then posted about it. Credit where it was due, they have always admired their fans’ dedication and sleuth skills, but everyone has their limits.

You’re going to blow our cover, you know! Phil holds up his notepad and waggles a finger from side to side in feigned disapproval, and it is Dan’s turn to laugh, and he too cups a hand over his mouth.

They’re safe again, no voices speak up.

Not the only thing I’m going to blow if you don’t stop making me laugh

Phil tilts his head to the side in confusion, and Dan shakes his head before writing again.

Ignore i said that, i don’t get it either

Phil smiles and flips to a new page. Literally never going to ignore you said that, can you not keep it in for five minutes?

A blush creeps onto Dan’s cheeks as he flips Phil off, and they both press their lips together as they desperately try to keep in their laughter.

It’s these kind of moments that they both treasure most. When the atmosphere is light and easy and they know they wouldn’t rather be there with anyone else, that it wouldn’t be anywhere near the same with anyone else.

People often assume that when Dan and Phil leave early from events and/or are somewhere else keeping themselves to themselves, things are always hotting up. When in reality, they’re doing stupid things like writing to each other on notepads whilst sitting two steps away from each other.

Not that they haven’t done anything of the former calibre, but since the incident of 2014 when it pained Dan to walk and stand upright for countless hours for a meetup the day after, they decided to keep that kind of fun for when they’re back home. Louise and Cat, the only ones who know about said incident, still tease them about it from time to time.

Guess what, Dan writes, and Phil just blinks at him, encouraging him to continue. I have an idea

I have lots of ideas, Phil writes back, Remember my idea to adopt two dogs???

Dan rolls his eyes. Forever home…..

Phil pouts, but Dan doesn’t see as he writes again.

But anyway, want to hear my genius idea?

Do i have a choice? xD

Dan narrows his eyes and flips Phil off. Let me live my life you dork, it’s not my fault people keep bringing that god awful thing up… I WAS YOUNG

Phil holds up his hands in surrender, and Dan reaches for his phone and wiggles it in his hand.

‘Watch and learn’ he mouths as he begins to type.

@danielhowell: is there anything better than free food at an event i think not

Phil’s phone immediately displays the tweet notification, and he glances at it before writing.

Wow check your privilege much

Dan flips him off yet again and nods towards the door.

“Did you see the tweet?” one of the voices asks, and is met with a chorus of mumbles of agreement.

“Should we head to the green room then? Sounds like they’re there” someone else suggests.

“It could be a scheduled tweet though, they might not be there.”

Phil reaches for his phone.

@AmazingPhil: @danielhowell i’m going back for another muffin right now i think i have an addiction help

Dan looks down at the notification and raises an eyebrow.

@danielhowell: @AmazingPhil you have a problem i can literally see you filling your pockets

It all happens in a few seconds, then, multiple voices speak at once, most significantly higher pitched and more excited than before, and then there is the sound of eager footsteps running further and further away.

Dan presses a finger to his lips as he slowly stands up and walks over to the front door and looks through the peephole.

“Looks like it’s finally just the two of us” he says with a grin as he makes his way back over, switching the lights back on as he passes the switch.

Phil stands up from the bed and stretches his legs. “I’d say we maybe have about…” he looks down at his bare wrist and taps a finger to his chin, “Fifteen minutes?”

Dan nudges him in the arm. “We could do a lot in fifteen minutes.”

“I know you mean order room service and watch anime.”

Dan rests his head on Phil’s shoulder.

“Damn right I do. Can we?”

Phil smiles and rests his head on Dan’s. “Whatever you want.”

Ten minutes later they’re tucked up in the double bed finishing off a stack of chocolate coated waffles (Phil is still holding a grudge at the hotel for taking pancakes off of the menu) and watching an episode of an anime.

“You know what I just realised?” Phil asks between bites.

“Not until you tell me, oh wise one” Dan replies.

“We probably could’ve just gone straight to this room and just, like, whispered. I think we’d have been fine, the doors are far apart.”

Dan stops chewing for a moment as he ponders the theory, and eventually laughs.

“We’re stupid.”

Phil laughs too. “We really are.”

“We had fun, though.”

“We really did.”

They don’t speak another word for the rest of the episode, but Dan moves into Phil’s arms and Phil gently draws patterns on Dan’s bare skin with his fingers, and they both take a moment to silently thank whatever higher forces may exist in the universe for making everything possible.

As the party downstairs continues in full swing and the sky continues to darken and the American nightlife blossoms outside of their window, they snuggle into the duvet and pull it up to their chins (the sheets are only thin, and they constantly have the air conditioning running despite them not needing it on after ten minutes).

“Can I ask something of you?” Phil whispers, they’re both now half-asleep.

Dan yawns, and turns to face him. “Anything.”

Phil pauses for a moment and smiles to himself. “When we get back can you please take some handwriting lessons?”

Dan doesn’t open his eyes, though gently kicks Phil’s leg under the duvet. “Fuck you,” he says, his voice is laced with sleep and a smile toys at his lips.

“I love you” Phil says, and can’t stop himself from closing the (already very small) gap between them and kissing Dan softly, causing Dan’s eyes to open.

“I love you more” Dan replies, then places a hand on Phil’s neck, bringing him back down for another kiss. “But your handwriting sucks too.”

“If that’s the only complaint you have, I can live with that.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute or else I’d kick your ass right now” Dan says, evidently falling back into the clutches of sleep.

“We established onstage today that we wouldn’t fight, besides you’d be too scared that I’d annihilate you” Phil grins, and Dan sighs dramatically.

“Go to sleep, loser” he says fondly as he finds Phil’s hand and loosely links their fingers.

Phil presses a kiss to Dan’s forehead and closes his eyes.

The room falls silent, and nobody has returned to outside their door.

“… But we both know I’d be the one to annihilate you” Dan adds to his previous statement.

“You didn’t seem to think so on the night before we left for America” Phil quips, and Dan cringes.

“Phil.”

It is the last word spoken before they both fall asleep, lulled to sleep by the distant pounding music from the party.

Little do they know they dream about the same thing that night. Of many easy, light-hearted nights like the one they just had, in a forever home of their own with a canine friend running around at their feet.

-- E n d --

thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed the fic!

please let me know what you thought and like/reblog if you liked it :)

find me on: twitter // ao3

also the title is from Middle Of The Night by The Vamps!

#cafephanfics #phanfic #phanfiction #phan fluff #phan #phan fanfiction #damn i'm nervous to post this #ok let's just go for it

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obsessive-fics · 7 years ago

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Title: Kiss Me on the Mouth (And Set Me Free)

Rating: T

Word Count: 1756

Summary: Dan finally manages to get an invitation to The Underground, an extremely exclusive club. While there, he is mesmerized by Luna, a captivating drag queen that looks a lot like the gorgeous stranger he met earlier that night

[Read on Ao3]

The Underground was the most exclusive club in the city. It was located under the busiest part of the city, only accessible by a series of hidden tunnels. Dan had only heard about it in hushed whispers, only dreamed of ever seeing it in person. Until now. You could only get into The Underground by invitation- each one came with a set of directions.

Dan had received his invitation that morning, slipped under his door. When he stepped outside to see who could have left it, there was no one. He looked down at his invitation excitedly. Finally! He was the last of his friends to be invited, and the thought for sure he never would be. He’d been listening to his friends rave about the club for months, about free love and the incredible club kids and drag queens that performed there every weekend. They’d been especially enthusiastic about a queen named Luna, who was apparently the most memorizing performer there. He’d sat, stewing in envy, wondering why no one had invited him yet. But all that had changed in a day.

After about twenty minutes of following the tunnels, Dan came to an ornate doorway. Two tall, burly men stood on either side of it, arms folded. This place was seriously guarded. He held out his invitation timidly, worried they’d take one look at him and turn him away. Instead, they nodded, handing him back his invitation and opening the doors.

The Underground was even more amazing than his friends had described it. There were flashing rainbow lights being streamed across a crowded dance floor, and a live DJ playing music. There was a bar at the far end of the room, and bean bag chairs where people were sitting, drinking, and watching the dance floor. Dan found familiar faces in his friend Jane and her girlfriend Theo and made his way over.

“You’re here!” Jane squealed, jumping up and hugging him.

“I am,” he laughed hugging back.

“Took you long enough,” Theo joked, patting the seat next to her. Dan sat down, and Jane plopped herself in Theo’s lap. Theo rolled her eyes fondly, but didn’t move her.

The trio watched people dance the way you only could in a place like this, where inhibitions seemed to cease to exist. Dan was watching a couple, wondering if they were actually allowed to be that close, when someone walked over.

“Took me a while, but I got drinks!” the stranger announced, holding up three glasses triumphantly. He was tall, at least as tall as Dan was, and had the kind of pretty blue eyes cheesy country songs got written about.

“You’re literally our savior. Thanks Phil,” Jane said, taking a glass. So that was his name.

“No problem. Who’s your friend?” he wondered, taking notice of Dan the first time. Was it normal for strangers to maintain eye contact this long? Dan had no idea, but he wished he minded it more than he did.

“Oh! This is Dan, it’s his first night here,” Theo told him.

“Welcome, then. You chose the perfect night for your first time,” Phil said, far too nonchalantly for a sentence containing that amount of innuendo.

“He’s just saying that because Luna’s performing,” Jane explained, noting the confused look on Dan’s face.

“You’re a fan of Luna too then?” he asked, turning to Pihl.

“You could say that,” he replied, then nodded towards the bar, “Wanna come get a drink?”

“Anything to get me out of third wheeling these two,” Dan agreed standing up.

“Hey!” Theo protested, but she was already turning Jane around in her lap. Dan rolled his eyes fondly and got up to follow Phil to the bar. Theo and Jane deserved time to themselves, and this was one of the few places they got to be completely themselves.

“How long have you known Jane and Theo?” Dan asked once they’d sat down and ordered their drinks.

“A few years now. Theo and I went to school together- I helped her start a petition for gender inclusive housing on campus,” Phil explained.

“I remember that! That was right when her and Jane just met, too. She was literally all Jane talked about for months,” Dan replied, laughing at the memory of how enamored his friend had been. Conversation between the two of them flowed easily after that, moving from mutual interests, to multiverse theory, to aliens.

“So you don’t believe in ghosts but you believe in aliens?” Phil asked incredulously.

“If ghosts were real, we would have proof by now. Besides, the universe is huge, there’s no way there’s nothing else out there,” Dan argued.

“I agree with you, I just can’t believe that’s the only thing you believe in.”

“I believe in lots of things. With proof.” Phil laughed and shook his head.

“No faith,” he said, looking down at his phone and jumping up, “I’ve gotta go.”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you,” Dan apologized quickly.

“No need to apologize. This has been the highlight of my night. We’ll talk later?” Phil offered, already backing away. Dan just nodded, more confused than ever. He watched Phil for a minute longer than he probably should have before going to find his friends.

“Hey! You two looked pretty chummy over there,” Jane teased when she saw him.

“You think? I mean, we talked. A lot. About everything. But then he just ran off. I don’t know…” he trailed off unsurely.

“The show’s about to start!” Theo exclaimed.

“What does that have to do wi-?” Dan started to ask, but Jane and Theo were already scrambling up excitedly. He sighed and followed them to the stage. Apparently he just wasn’t meant to get clear answers tonight.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, are you ready to have a good time?” A voice boomed over the loud speakers. The crowd cheered, and the energy of the club was transformed. The lights dimmed, and Dan could feel the anticipation radiating from everyone around them.

A gorgeous drag queen appeared on stage, smiling at the audience warmly. She was wearing a red sequined dress with matching stilettos and a shoulder length Marilyn Monroe style wig that had been dyed black.

“For the few of you who don’t know, I’m Luna, and it’s my job to entertain you tonight. How does that sound?” she asked. From the responding cheer, the audience must have loved the sound of that.

The music started, and Dan felt himself completely captivated. Luna embodied every song she performed, the music flowing through her effortlessly. He couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to. He really, really did not want to. During her last song, Luna walked into the audience, dancing with everyone. When she got to Dan, she winked mischievously before dancing away, and realization dawned on him. He’d only ever seen those eyes once before.

“Jane! Was that-?” he shouted over the music, but Jane just smirked and turned her attention back to the stage.

The audience was so excited, Luna ended up performing two more songs, before making a joke about not being able to stay in those heels any longer, and curtseying to deafening applause.

“Told you she was amazing,” Theo said, as the audience dispersed, to either go back to dancing to get drinks.

“You did,” Dan agreed as they made their way back to the bean bag chairs they’d been sitting in earlier. They sat and talked for a while, but it was clear their energy was starting to fade. The pleasant buzz Dan had been feeling from the few drinks he’d had had worn off, leaving him fuzzy headed and drowsy. He was going to suggest sharing a cab, when Phil walked over, looking tired but pleased.

“Did you guys enjoy the show?” he asked grinning.

“I loved it- Luna’s a very talented performer,” Dan replied, searching Phil’s face for any trace of makeup. He found it in the little bit of glitter that was still there. He reached up to wipe it off and smiled. So he was right.

“Thank you,” Phil answered

“You guys are grossing us out. Go, dance!” Theo instructed, shoving them towards the dance floor.

“I’m, um, not much of a dancer,” Dan admitted shyly.

“Me either,” Phil replied shrugging, “But that’s okay.”

“There is very strong evidence to suggest otherwise,” Dan pointed out. Phil just laughed and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Luna is a dancer. And all of her dances are choreographed,” he explained.

“Didn’t look very choreographed when she was dancing with everyone,” Dan pointed out

“Jealous?”

“Maybe.” Silence fell between them then, the only sound being the music surrounding them. They swayed, arms around each other, and shared a smile. They were definitely off beat, and probably looked a little ridiculous, but all they really cared about was the person in front of them.

“I should go,” Dan finally said a few songs later. It was going on 3 AM, and he wanted to make sure Theo and Jane got home safe.

“Do you have to?” Phil asked, burying his face and his neck, and oh. That was not fair at all.

“You, could um… Come with me?” Dan said, not sure exactly what he was suggesting, but turning red all the same.

“Do you want me to?” Phil asked, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. Dan nodded quickly- he was completely sure about this, if a little nervous.

They shared a cab with Theo and Jane, who gave them a knowing look before getting out at their stop. The ride home is silent, anticipation thick in the air between them.

“Hey, you okay?” Phil asked once they were out of the cab.

“Yeah, of course. Nervous, I guess? But in a good way,” Dan attempted to explain.

“Good. Just so you know, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. All you have to do is tell me and we can just, I don’t know, sit on the couch and play video games. Okay?” Dan nodded, feeling instantly more at ease.

“Okay.”

And they did sit and play video games. But they also kept talking, learning more and more about each other. So by the time Dan asked Phil’s permission to kiss him, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And so did every kiss, touch, and noise afterwards. And waking up together in the morning, not sure exactly where this would go, but both more than ready to find out.

#phanfiction #phanfic au #drag queen! Phil #strangers to lovers #first meeting #fluff #my fic

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pcwpolwrestling · 6 years ago

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2/9/19-D.C. Armory Supershow Recap

THIS WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV:-PCW at the 2/9 D.C. Armory Supershow -Highlights from CEO Donald Trump’s State of the (Political) Universe Speech-Green New Deal? -Replay of the PCW 14 Year Match commercial -PCW Tag Team Title Match: Island of Misfit Wrestlers vs. The Dork Dynasty -‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism defends the PCW Title -‘One of Our Own’ Ray McAvay defends the Political Universe Title

LAST WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV-Samantha Bee gets full frontal with a steel folding chair from PCW Owner Dawn McGill after showing up at ringside.

-Payback to the Polar Vortex of Doom…even Phil…from Punxsutawney gets into the act.

-Former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz visits to talk about his possible 2020 bid to become the next CEO.

-A timely reminder that Drama in Des Moines 2020 is one year away.

-Average Joe defeats Billy Zaine in a match of Titanic proportion.

-The SEC finally implodes. Jill Berg returns and poaches Kirk Walstreit and P.M.C. Banks to Jill Berg Enterprises.

-Jack Fraiser defeat SNAFU to become the new PCW Title #1 Contender.

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

Extreme Political TV D.C. Armory Supershow Taped Saturday February 9th, 2019 Host: Johnny Suave Washington D.C.

The camera pans all over the D.C. Armory as PCW is on the air! Fireworks go off. Spotlights move back and forth through the crowd.

Cut to ringside where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stands.

Johnny Suave: Hello everyone and welcome to Political Championship Wrestling!

Two small sections of the crowd stand and shout out “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”

Close up on one section of fans: it’s Political Universe Champion ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay and his Les Miserables whooping it up in the Les Miserables section.

Johnny Suave: We are at the D.C. Armory tonight where a capacity crowd of near ten thousand are here to see the Political Universe Supershow featuring the Red Brand, Blue Brand, and PCW!

Suave rolls through the matches being shown tonight…

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb © vs. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis

PCW Title Match:‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism © vs. Jack Fraiser

Political Universe Title Match:‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay © (Independent/PCW) vs. ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell (American Patriots/Sports Entertainment Corporation)

Johnny Suave: We’ll also have highlights from CEO Donald Trump’s state of the Political Universe speech last Tuesday night. But first, I’ve just been handed a note and there seems to be something up backstage.

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Dawn McGill and PWR Red and Blue Brand consultant ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann confer.

McMann half-apologetically tells McGill that he’s triggered the release clause in Weapons of Mass Destruction’s contract because the PWR Red Brand want them.

Mr. McMann: I sure hate to leave you in the lurch like this…

Dawn McGill (pseudo-sarcastically): I’m sure you do.

Mr. McMann: …I know this will leave you in a bind for the first match of the night.

Dawn McGill: No…no. That’s fine.

Mr. McMann: I can’t help the fact the Red Brand really, really wants WMD.

Dawn McGill: I’ve got it under control.

Cut back to Suave at the broadcast table.

Suave wonders what McGill has in mind. We’ll find out soon enough but first, he introduces video highlights from CEO Donald Trump’s State of the Political Universe speech.

VIDEO: ‘State of the Political Universe Speech’

Donald Trump: We have created more jobs for professional wrestlers, particularly those who are considered to be in the middle class of the wrestling world with the return of the PCW Heartland – slash – PCW shows and opened up more towns for our shows in the process.

The American Patriots and the independents stand and cheer. The Progressive Alliance do not.

A reaction from the right, Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins- country club golf pro. His son Pete wrestles later on in the night for the PWR Red Brand Title.

Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins: I find this talk of the Middle Class very vulgar. We should be focusing like lasers on the plight of our corporations and investor class.

Johnny Suave: And there’s the American Patriot establishment revealing their true character. They care about themselves and their social status and nothing else.

Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins: Pish-posh.

…

Donald Trump: Even with the shutdown at the end of 2018, PWR and PCW’s revenue was markedly higher across the board.

The American Patriots and the independents stand and cheer. The Progressive Alliance do not.

…

Donald Trump: And tonight, I’d like to single out the Women’s Champion…Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. Tessa is here tonight and on behalf of the Political Universe, I’d like to thank her for her years of dedication to not just PCW but women’s wrestling in general.

Close up of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Confused, she and the other new women on the Executive Committee half stand up…half sit down…not sure if they should stand up or not.

…

Donald Trump: More people are going to PWR and PCW shows than ever before…

The American Patriots and the independents stand and cheer. The Progressive Alliance do not.

Donald Trump: …especially women.

Close up of Ocasio-Cortez. Again, she and the other new women on the Executive Committee half stand up…half sit down…not sure if they should stand up or not. So they kind of stand up.

Donald Trump (smiling and pointing at them): You weren’t supposed to do that. But don’t sit down yet. There’s more good news. I’m proud to announce there’s more women on the Executive Committee than ever before.

Ocasio-Cortez and the rest of the new women jump up and applaud. There’s even a chant of “USA!…USA!…”

Close up of Nancy Pelosi. She shakes her head and sinks back in her seat.

Johnny Suave: So let me get this straight, more jobs, more income for ordinary pro wrestlers trying to make a living. Meh. More people coming to shows which generates even more jobs and even more income for the wrestlers. Meh. Ocasio-Cortez and the other women on the Executive Committee celebrating themselves? WOO-HOO! And speaking of Nancy Pelosi…

The camera focuses in on Pelosi at the beginning of the speech. She’s feisty at the outset, thinking that she showed Trump by making him wait a week to give the speech following the shutdown saga.

Twenty minutes in. Pelosi starts to nervously read through the speech.

Forty minutes in. Pelosi gnaws at her lips. This isn’t going the way she’d envisioned.

Sixty minutes in. She begins to twitch uncontrollably. Definitely not what she thought would happen.

Eighty minutes in. *THUMP*

She falls out of her seat. Then a hand appears.

Nancy Pelosi (off-camera): I’m okay…

REACTIONJohnny Suave: So let’s bring in the usual suspects with their usual narrative…the reaction of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves.

‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder:Trump’s call for unity falls flat when he and others won’t give in to the Progressive Alliance’s point of view!

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns:I can’t believe there were some Progressive Alliance members chanting ‘USA…USA!’ What the hell?

‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller:Democracy dims in the darkness of dying…no…um…democracy dies in the dimness of dark…no…wait…

Johnny Suave: Three quarters of the people who heard the speech gave it positive marks. Even on places like CNN and CBS. Stick that in your narrative.

Crowder, Miller, and Johns all begin to cough…

Colleen Crowder (coughing): …that’s different…

Dan Miller (also coughing): …more American Patriots watched the speech…

Sharon Johns (also also coughing): …yeah, what he said…

Colleen Crowder (coughing): …let’s move on…

Dan Miller (coughing): …move on…

Sharon Johns (coughing): …yes…move on…

GREEN NEW DEALSuave moves on to the Green World Order coming out strongly in favor of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal which includes proposals to ban cows (they produce too much methane) and air travel and airports.

VIDEO: GWO Concerns

Peta from PETA expresses concerns about banning cows.

Peta from PETA: Cows are people too, you know?

Johnny Suave: Apparently they fart too much.

There’s a brief discussion before the GWO unanimously endorses Ocasio-Cortez’s plan. Even potential 2020 CEO candidates Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker and Kirsten Gillibrand have co-sponsored the plan.

Johnny Suave: Who else would be watching CNN if there’s no airports. On second thought, I guess it’s not a total washout of a plan then.

He’s quickly confronted by Sharon Johns.

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Johnny Suave: No.

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! WE ARE NEWS! WE ARE NOT FAKE NEWS!…

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

=======================

Back from the break, Suave says we’re about to find out what Dawn McGill plans to do with the PCW Tag Team title match as it’s time for the first match of the night.

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis vs. ??

Johnny Suave: Now as everyone knows, if it’s a Rah match then you know you get the full entrance. But what you don’t usually get is the pre-entrance look in. Apparently, Halitosis came to the ring loaded up for bear tonight.

VIDEO: Backstage

Cutting backstage, the camera shows various PCW personnel standing around with incredulous expressions on their faces.

Why? Just a few minutes before, the backstage crew watched Halitosis- the Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene, mix together a lethal combination of the world’s most stenchiest cheeses, onions, garlic, jalapenos, green peppers, banana peppers, and curry powder in a blender and poured the mixture into a large, lead lined metal drink container.

As green vapors permeate from underneath the lid, Halitosis’s manager, Regina McGill, stands as far away as she can on the other side of the room.

Johnny Suave: Well, as we’re about to see, it was not a good night to be downwind from Halitosis.

VIDEO: Island of Misfit Wrestler Entrance

After the Misfit’s manager Regina McGill walks down, a lucha wrestler saunters out on the ramp dressed in all black with a giant ‘H’ on the front of his shirt. There’s also a greenish haze emitting from his mouth.

‘The Luchador with Insanely Poor Oral Hygiene’ HalitosisAGE: 30 HT: 6’ 0” WT: 195 / HOME: Chattanooga, TN FIN: Imploding Senton BombMGR: Regina McGill

Halitosis pumps his first in the air and then starts down the ramp towards the ring. He slap people’s hands along the way and then says hello to a young fan in the front row- the fan promptly collapses when he get a whiff of his breath and the one behind him in the second row passes out.

Halitosis then moves on to the next one. He says hello. The fan gets a blast of his breath and falls to the ground…the fans in the second and third row also disappear.

He continues on to greet the fans along the way- oblivious to the carnage he leaves behind.

Halitosis reaches the ring area and continues to greet people around the front row. Again, they all pass out once they get downwind of his breath and soon, the scene looks like a set of dominos falling over as she goes around the perimeter. He climbs up on the ring apron and leaps over the top rope into the ring.

He goes to shake Kimber’s hand but the ring announcer bolts for the other side of the ring and tries to keep a safe distance away. Shrugging his shoulders, Halitosis looks out over the ropes and raises his arms in the air.

Johnny Suave: Those poor people never had a chance. They never knew what hit them.

VIDEO: Entrance

Rah!: The Sunshine God (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)- Motivational speaker by day. Pseudo inspirational deity complete with eclectic entourage by night. AGE: 36 / HT: 6’ 8” WT: 295 HOME: San Diego, CA FIN: Eye of RAHHHHHHH!Rah’s Followers: Happy Mango, Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy, The BronzeBeach Suntan Bikini Girls

She’s interrupted by a man dressed in an expensive suit and bow-tie who’s just climbed into the ring. He elbows Kimber out of the way and gestures for her to take a temporary powder because he’s the one who’s been given the honor and privilege of introducing a living deity.

Announcer Guy: Hit it.

Over the loudspeaker, a buzzing synth sound blares and the announcer guy raises the microphone to his mouth.

Announcer Guy (in a voice not unlike Michael Buffer): Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the almost universally-worshipped king of the sun gods of all creation. He commands the chariot that rode across the sky during the day. He is the great, fiery globe in the sky, a welcome, nurturing presence to honor the season. He is the inspiration for those who would throw virgins into the gaping maw of a volcano – perhaps an Icelandic volcano – even though such shenanigans haven’t been acceptable since the 1950s. And just for your reference, he is, for 33 years in a row, proven to be one of UC San Diego‘s most enduring traditions in the Sun God festival- an all-day music festival celebrated by more than 20,000 students, alumni and friends. But that’s not important.

He pauses and looks out at the crowd as the lights turn off. A small spotlight illuminates the ramp where the BeachBronze Suntan Bikini Girls are standing.

The bikini girls pose on the ramp. Then two large, hulking men carry out a golden sedan chair holding a six foot eight inch, two hundred and eighty pound man dressed in long flowing robes inside.

Announcer Guy: Either way, you should thank your lucky stars and kiss his royal ass for gracing you with his presence here tonight. I give to you…the reason the Earth doesn‘t float away in the vastness of space…the reason for the invention of sunglasses because your face would melt like in Raiders of the Lost Ark if you gazed upon him…the reason it’s eighty degrees outside and not minus four hundred and fifty-nine point six seven…and the reason Brian Wilson wrote all those great songs…

Rah’s friend and middle-aged folk singer Happy Mango follows strumming a guitar along with the omnipresent Bob Nye- Foot Fetish Guy.

Announcer Guy: …ladies and gentlemen…bow down before the Sunshine God…

McGill breaks character and rolls her eyes at Rah’s overly elaborate entrance.

Announcer Guy: …RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Johnny Suave: So Dawn McGill came out next to personally make the announcement to the fans.

Dawn McGill tells the D.C. Armory that Weapons of Mass Destruction signed on with the Red Brand and as a result have vacated the PCW Tag Team Title.

Dawn McGill: So tonight, we will crown a NEW PCW Tag Team title. The Island of Misfit Wrestlers are the number one contenders. They will face the number TWO contenders- please welcome the DORK DYNASTY!

*’Big Bang Theory Theme’- Barenaked Ladies*

Leonard Robertson (Dork Dynasty) – Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators.AGE: 36 / HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 180 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang death-BlastValet: Penny

Sheldon Robertson (Dork Dynasty) – Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. AGE: 32 / HT: 6′ 4″ WT: 195 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang death-BlastValet: Amy

Penny and Amy lead the way as Leonard and Sheldon walk towards the ring.

Leonard has a bushy long beard and green and black military khakis on. Sheldon has a neatly trimmed long beard with green and black military khakis. Penny is dressed in heels and a black overcoat. Amy has a frumpy flowery dress on.

Johnny Suave: It’s been no secret that the Dork Dynasty have come out and made it clear that this is their final season in PCW. It’s also no secret that the Dork’s have bickered back and forth between themselves of late. Sheldon Robertson is very passionate about scientific wrestling…almost fanatical. Leonard’s a little bit more laid back about it. And sometimes they argue. Would both Leonard and Sheldon keep their focus on the match or would the disorder cost them dearly in the end? Let’s find out.

…Leonard’s trapped in the corner with Halitosis pressing the advantage and looking to unleash his lethal breath. In a fit of desperation, Leonard rakes Halitosis’s eyes and books it out of the ring.

Once he’s out, Sheldon comes over and reads him the riot act over taking ‘shortcuts.’

Sheldon Robertson: WE are scientific wrestlers. WE do not resort to taking the easy way.

Leonard Robertson: I was trapped and did you see what he put in his mouth before the match? He took out the lower section of the arena all by himself!

Sheldon’s unmoved and referee Brent Payson isn’t either.

Johnny Suave: Late in the match, the Dorks began to argue again amongst themselves and this time it cost them dearly.

…once again, Leonard and Sheldon are debating wrestling methods in their corner. This time, Halitosis crept up to Leonard and spun him around. He unloads his breath on Leonard and he wilts like a flower. But, he manages to tag Sheldon in as he flops to the mat.

…

Rah has Sheldon set for the Eye of Rahhhh. Sheldon flails away in vain to get away. Rah lifts and slams him to the mat. Cover…one…two…three…NEW CHAMPIONS!

WINNER AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Island of Misfit Wrestlers @ 8:06

Johnny Suave: In a match that didn’t last as long as the entrances did, Rah and Halitosis defeat the Dorks and become the new PCW Tag Team Champions. Here’s the Misfits being awards the belts.

VIDEO: Post-Match

…Referee Brent Payson hands Rah the belt. Rah raises it in the air. Then Payson hands Halitosis the belt.

Halitosis: Thank you!

And Payson immediately collapses to the mat.

Halitosis: Oh…

Payson claws at his throat after getting a direct whiff of his breath.

Halitosis: oops.

Johnny Suave: I hate it when that happens. The PCW Title match coming up right after this.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

PCW RANKINGS

PCW Title Champion: The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism #1 Contender: Jack Fraiser #2 Contender: SNAFU #3 Contender: ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver of the SEC #4 Contender: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott

PCW Tag Team Title Champion: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis #1 Contender: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson #2 Contender: The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny #3 Contender: Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company #4 Contender: Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

=======================

Cut back to Suave at the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: Two weeks ago, PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism defeated his arch-rival ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance in a Hollywood Grudge match on Extreme Political TV. Tonight, he faced the up and coming Jack Fraiser, backed by his Oootlander Blaire Rendell at the D.C. Armory Supershow. How did it go?

[It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.

On the hill of Irish na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.]

Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteen century Scotland.

[Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. Soon she faints and falls to the ground. When she wakes up…]

Blaire nearly jumps in the air when she encounters a man dressed in heavy plaid lumberjack shirt, a warm coat, and a tuque.

Blaire Rendell: Wh-who the hell are you? And where the hell am I?

Jack Fraiser: My name is Jack Fraiser. You are in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada.

Blaire Rendell: Saskatoon…Saskatchewan Canada? That can’t be true. I’m supposed to be in Scotland.

A hockey puck comes flying by just barely missing both of them.

Blaire Rendell: What the *BLEEP*!

Jack Fraiser: Nope. This is definitely Canada.

Kimber finishes the introduction.

Jack Fraiser HT: 6”3” WT: 205 / HOME: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan FIN: Canadian National RailawayValet: ‘Oootlander’ Blaire Rendell

*‘No Smoke Without a Fire’ – Bad Company*

Kimber brings out the PCW champion.

‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism– former PCW Champion and 2 time PCW Television ChampionHT: 6′ 2″ WT: 225 / HOME: Hollywood, CA / FIN: Anti-Hollywood Blockbuster

Chism holds up the PCW belt as he walks towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: This match saw Jack Fraiser come out and try to force the action with the champion.

VIDEO: Stone Chism vs. Jack Fraiser

Jack Fraiser rushes forward towards Stone…Stone sticks his leg through the ropes and the referee steps in between.

Johnny Suave: The experienced champion used pretty much every trick in the book to set the inexperienced Fraiser off. And he succeeded.

VIDEO: Stone Chism vs. Jack Fraiser

Fraiser charges in. Stone drops him with a drop toehold…rolls on top of Fraiser and slaps on the inverted surfboard. Jack Fraiser desperately grabs on to the middle rope to force the break.

The referee makes the break. Fraiser goes to the outside and slams his hands on the ring apron. His Oootlander Blaire Rendell tries to calm him down.

Johnny Suave: And so it went throughout the match. Stone Chism looked sensational in the ring. He was composed. He was controlled. He never let Jack Fraiser get under his skin and used his opponent’s hyper aggression against him brilliantly. That said, Jack Fraiser was fascinating to watch. He wrestled with almost a feral desperation about him. He understood the opportunity she had. He badly wanted to win the match. And he had a chance. Fraiser had an opening late and could have pulled off the win.

VIDEO: Stone Chism vs. Jack Fraiser

…Stone slumps on the chair outside the ring. Jack Fraiser takes off on a dead sprint around the ring. She returns and launches himself at Stone.

Stone dives out of the way at the last possible second and Fraiser bowls into the chair and tumbles into the steel guardrail…

…

Seconds later, Chism lifts Fraiser up in the air vertically and drives him down to the mat.

Johnny Suave: And that is the Anti-Hollywood Blockbuster and that was the end of Jack Fraiser.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 12:47

VIDEO: Post-Match

Stone is in the middle of the ring and holds up the PCW title. A red blur hits the ring and shoulder blocks the champion. The belt goes flying through the air. Stone goes tumbling down to the mat halfway across the ring.

Close up- It’s ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels.

Daniels pulls Stone up…lifts him up into a vertical position…and hits the (real) Hollywood Blockbuster on the PCW Champion.

Johnny Suave: Chism’s long time arch-enemy Kevin Daniels ran in after the match and attacked the PCW champion to stick up once again for the honor of Big Hollywood. Daniels beat down Chism until help arrived from the most unlikely of people.

VIDEO: Post-Match

Stone’s splayed out on the mat. Daniels picks up the PCW belt and looks at it. He’s about to put the belt over Stone when another figure races in behind him. He spins Daniels around, kick to the gut…DDT!

Close up: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott!

Scott stands over the fallen Daniels and the PCW champion Stone Chism.

Johnny Suave: So if you’re keeping score at home: Stone Chism retains the title, Kevin Daniels gets a little payback, but Kevin Scott makes the statement.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

What happens when you put the nation’s top political personalities- past and present – in the same room for a celebration?

PCW Owner Dawn McGill stands behind a podium with a sign in front that reads “PCW 14 years.”

Dawn McGill: Welcome to the fourteenth year of Political Championship Wrestling.

The camera pans around the hall at the politicos from both sides – all whom played major roles in PCW over the past fourteen years – as they applaud.

‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove

There’s ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove who claps his hands and then points to his temple to make sure everyone knows he’s a *BLEEP*-ing genius.

The Clinton Political Pitbulls (James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal).

Sarah Palin

’The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (AK-American Patriots).

Rahm Emanuel aka…Rahm-bo

Rahm Emanuel- he’s about the drop an F-Bomb but realizes he’s on camera- so he doesn’t.

‘Screamin’ Howard Dean (VT-Progressive Alliance)…

Howard Dean: YEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

…who’s sitting uncomfortably close to one Alan Simpson (WY-American Patriots)…

Alan Simpson

Alan Simpson: STOP YELLING IN MY *BLEEP*-DAMN EAR!

…Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots) stands and claps…

Mitch McConnell: Spending obscene amounts of cash in order to gain influence with our leaders is a First Amendment right!

…Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance). She hides behind of wall of bodyguards. Get it? Hiding behind a wall. A wall of bodyguards?

Back to McGill up front.

Dawn McGill: Let’s now welcome the living former PCW CEO’s. First, Jimmy Carter.

John Denver’s ‘Thank God I’m a Country Boy’ heralds the entrance of 94 year old Jimmy Carter (GA-Progressive Alliance) as he’s wheeled into the hall.

Dawn McGill: Bill Clinton.

Clinton (AR-Progressive Alliance) strides out as a video plays of an old episode of ‘Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub’ plays…

VIDEO: Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub – November 2nd, 2010 episode of Extreme Political TV

Bill Clinton glumly sits in his hot tub…alone and flanked by two Secret Service men. Off to the side of the hot tub lies a ladybug costume that he had brought anticipating that Christine O’Donnell was going to be his guest on the show.

Bill Clinton: I don’t know what else I could have done. I even brought her a ladybug costume just so she’ll feel comfortable. *sigh*

Secret Service Agent 1: I don’t think Miss O’Donnell is coming sir.

Bill Clinton: This makes me profoundly sad. (bites lip) I feel my pain.

Lady’s voice: WAIT! WAIT!

It’s former White House Correspondent Helen Thomas.

Helen Thomas: I’ll guest on your show!

Bill Clinton’s face melts in horror when Thomas whips off her robe in front of him.

Bill Clinton: Oh…my….God…

Thomas jumps into the hot tub with him.

Bill Clinton: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dawn McGill: George W. Bush.

Dawn watches as George W. Bush’s (TX-American Patriots) perpetually off-key mariachi band leads former CEO George W. Bush to the ring with another horribly played, but rousing, rendition of “Hail to the Chief.”

Dawn’s face contorts and cringes every time the off-key mariachi band hits a particularly sour note.

Dawn McGill: Barack Obama.

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. Former PCW CEO Barack Obama (IL-Progressive Alliance) appears with his former Aide de Camp Joe ‘the Big F-ing Deal’ Biden (DE-Progressive Alliance) by his side.

Dawn McGill: And our current CEO, Donald Trump.

*”Imperial March” – Star Wars*

PCW CEO Donald Trump

PCW CEO Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) comes out on stage.

The supporters chant “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” which merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

♫ TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP♫

After Trump sits down at the dias with the rest of the other former CEO’s, McGill continues.

Dawn McGill: Tonight is not about politics as usual.

As she speaks, the caterers roll out a huge cake.

Dawn McGill: Tonight is about celebrating what we have in common and what binds us together.

Close up to the item sitting on top of said cake- it’s a giant briefcase with money overflowing from inside of it.

Dawn McGill: It’s about…all of us…

As the caterers situate where the cake is to go, one of them bumps into the cart. The giant briefcase starts to sway back and forth.

Dawn McGill: …It’s about the people…

Finally, the briefcase slides off the top and falls towards the floor.

Close up- Mitch McConnell. His eyes light up and drool forms on the edge of his mouth.

Dawn McGill: …because we may have our differences…

The briefcase hits the floor and opens up. There’s a lot of cash inside and some of it spills out onto the floor.

Close up- Bill Clinton.

Bill Clinton: Ohhhh baby.

Everyone looks around at each other.

Dawn McGill: …in the end, we all share a common thread that brings us all together…

Silence…several seconds of silence.

Bill Clinton’s gaze meets up with James Carville. Clinton nods and winks. Carville smiles and then…

ALL: MONEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

At once, Carville and everyone else shoot up from their chairs and dives towards the open briefcase. McConnell jumps in. Pelosi’s ‘wall’ of bodyguards barge in and try to plow a path to the cash.

Also wading in: John Boehner (OH-American Patriots), Harry Reid (NV-Progressive Alliance), and Paul Ryan (WI-American Patriots) and people from both sides of the aisle attempt to burrow their way through the pile of humanity.

Rahm Emanuel (IL-Progressive Alliance) runs down and starts dropping people left and right with F-Bombs.

Close up of Jimmy Carter’s reaction to the scramble for cash: disappointment and disgust.

Unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWWWW! HE’S BITING! HE’S BITING!

Close up- it’s James Carville.

Close up of George W. Bush’s reaction: whimsical smile.

W taps Clinton on the shoulder.

George W. Bush: Not a whole lot of stra-tee-ger-ree goin’ on here.

Bill Clinton: Nope.

Another unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWWWW! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

Close up- it’s ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin. She’s not biting though. She’s using a power drill to get to the bottom of the pile.

Sarah Palin: DRILL BABY DRILL!

Another unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!

Close up of Barack Obama’s reaction: rising above the fray.

Barack Obama: *I* would not do that.

Obama turns to Biden.

Barack Obama: But *I* also know you’re just itching for a fight.

Joe Biden: You know it.

Barack Obama: Go for it.

Biden leaps over the table and literally cannonballs into the pile of humanity.

A third unidentifiable person in the middle of the scrum: OWWW! DAMMIT! WHO KEEPS BITING?

Close up- it’s Alan Simpson- Simpson’s not after the money, he’s just being his usual irascible and ornery self.

W leans in towards Bill Clinton.

George W. Bush: Where’s Hillary?

Close up of the pile. Two legs wearing white pants stick out of the huge pile.

George W. Bush: Oh. Never mind.

Trump shakes his head.

Close up- Dawn McGill at the podium. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her drink.

McGill’s POV: both sides scratch, claw, gouge, use steel folding chairs, regular chairs, and anything else that can be used as a weapon- all to get at the cash in the briefcase.

Yet another undentifiable person somewhere in the middle of the scrum: BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU’RE PUTTING THAT DRILL, SARAH!

=======================

Back from break…

A COMPLAINTSuave said there was a little of everything last night. Some guy even came to the ring to lodge a complaint.

VIDEO: The Complaint

Blue State Elitist Charles Robinson-Richards Esq. comes out to complain that an ‘independent’ holds the Political Universe title. His rationale?

Charles Robinson-Richards, Esq.: There are two main factions in the Political Universe- the Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots. In the real world, there are only two parties that matter. In the Political Universe, it should be the same.

Robinson-Richards adds McAvay holding the title takes away a spot that rightfully belongs to one of the two main factions.

Charles Robinson-Richards, Esq.: If you want to add a minor faction wrestler in a three way match, I guess that would be proper.

Johnny Suave: I’ve never agreed with the concept that my vote is owed to a Republican or Democrat nor do I agree with Robinson-Richards that the American Patriots and Progressive Alliance are entitled to be in title matches no matter what.

Suave reviews all of the previous matches on the card leading up to the main event.

D.C. Armory Supershow Results:

PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Island of Misfit Wrestlers defeat The Dork Dynasty to become the new PCW Tag Team champions

PWR RED BRAND TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit © defeated Main Street USA: Farmer John and G.I. Jake

PWR BLUE BRAND TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Union Jack Taylor and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior © defeated the Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee

PWR BLUE BRAND TITLE MATCH:‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels defeated ‘Boston’ Bobby Dahlman to win the Blue Brand Title

PWR RED BRAND TITLE MATCH:‘The Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit of Jill Berg Enterprises © defeated Pete ‘The Elk, Jr.’ Elkins

POLITICAL UNIVERSE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin © (Independent) defeated Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance)

Johnny Suave: And then it was time for the main event…the Political Universe Title match.

VIDEO: Ring Entrances

‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie BlackwellHT: 6′ 4″ WT: 215 / HOME: New Braunfels, TX FIN: Tazzmission (Katahajime)MGR: ‘Mouthpiece of the SEC’ Phil Finebaum and ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann

Blackwell is followed by ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, SEC mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, ‘Canadian Bad Boy’ Justin Beaver, Miley Vyrus, and Pop Songstress Taylor Switt. Switt leaves a trail of white powder behind her from her overfilled guitar.

Johnny Suave: Dawn McGill came out first to introduce ‘one of our own’- the Political Universe Champion Ray McAvay. And as always, McAvay came out to ‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables.

VIDEO: Ring Entrances

‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvayHT: 6’-3” WT: 215 HOME: Fort Stockton, TX FIN: McGill BombValets: West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy MGR: Bert the Janitor

McAvay walks out accompanied by his wife, and one half of the famed West Texas Adult Entertainment duo Dark and Stormy, Stacee (Dark) Perry. Paige ‘Stormy’ Reynolds also walks out. Bert the Janitor comes out fourth.

Also joining them, General DeBauchery- who looks like a bizarre combination of the AWA’s Colonel DeBeers and Lt. Aldo from Inglorious Basterds, sporting a black captain’s hat right out of World War II, smoking a cigar and grinning obnoxiously, Al Cahall- sporting six pack abs…oh…that’s a six pack in front of his abs.

Johnny Suave: With all the pre-match pageantry done, Blackwell and McAvay got down to business. Charlie bailed to the floor early on and McAvay was all too happy to follow. Blackwell also gets in some cheap shots on the floor and then rolls McAvay back in. Blackwell shoots McAvay to the turnbuckle. A big lariat follows and Blackwell grounds the action, working a chinlock. McAvay looked to escape and hit a back elbow and chops. He goes to the ropes but McMann grabs his leg.

…Blackwell aggressively pursues McAvay. McAvay simply stands off to the side as Blackwell flies by and rams the corner turnbuckle..

Crowd: O-LAY!

Blackwell charges again. McAvay drops to the mat and Blackwell goes over him. McAvay back to his feet. Blackwell runs towards him…McAvay again evades him.

Crowd: O-LAY!

Furious, Blackwell turns and throws wild right hands that McAvay ducks under. Again Blackwell rushes forward…again McAvay steps asides and watches him fly by.

Crowd: O-LAY!

Johnny Suave: Ray McAvay followed a different script with rival Charlie Blackwell tonight. McAvay went old school…a little Muhammad Ali versus George Foreman…he went full counter punching mode for the first ten minutes of the match and Blackwell went nuts. Finally, he went for the baseball bat.

…McAvay sees Blackwell pick the baseball bat up and goes right over to him. He grabs the bat and wrestles it away. Blackwell rakes the eyes and then hits a spinning neckbreaker.

Johnny Suave: This wasn’t vintage McAvay. Not by a longshot. On most nights, Charlie Blackwell would have won this match.

…Blackwell then hits the big boot and locked in the Katahajime. BUT…

Dark and Stormy distracts referee Davey Keels by doing an impromptu striptease on the ring apron. Blackwell shouts at Keels in frustration. McMann races over to the ring apron and yells at Keels.

…Taylor Switt sneaks in to wallop McAvay in the back with her loaded guitar. But McAvay’s wife Dark climbs into the ring with the Big Bertha Driver and whacks her in the back.

Johnny Suave: Then Dark tossed McAvay the driver.

…Blackwell charges. McAvay brains Blackwell with the golf club and hits the McGill Bomb. McAvay covers. Keels sees the cover and makes the count. McMann goes apoplectic as McAvay retains.

WINNER AND STILL POLITICAL UNIVERSE CHAMPION: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay @ 17:49

Johnny Suave: And that was that. Ray McAvay fends off Charlie Blackwell and remains the Political Universe champion. McAvay wasn’t at his best but the SEC threw everything they could at him and couldn’t get the job done.”

THE AMERICAN PATRIOT BOX

Quick cut to the American Patriots’ box. The Coke Brothers, financiers and mover and shaker of the American Patriots, glares towards the ring from his suite. He plucks his phone from a suit pocket and punches in a number.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE BOX

Quick cut to the Progressive Alliance box. George Moros, big money spender and mover and shaker in the Progressive Alliance, has a sour look on him face as well.

Johnny Suave: “When you get into the ring with Ray McAvay you know you’re going to get the Les Miserables and the three ring circus that comes along with them. Blackwell worked hard but it’s going to be hard for him to complain about McAvay’s outside interference when Taylor Switt interfered in the match as well. But, that wasn’t all.

VIDEO: Post Match

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd erupts when the video screen shows the door to a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: Ms. Berg. It’s time.

The door opens and eight male bodyguards walk out of the dressing room encircling a petite 95 pound woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman, dressed in a smart, dark business suit and heels, is busy talking on her cell phone. The man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Also in the procession, new Jill Berg Enterprises associates P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit.

P.M.C. BanksHT: 6-0 WT: 240 / Gainesville, FL / FIN: Bank Statement

Kirk Walstreit – ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit.’ HT: 6’ 2” WT: 220, HOME: New York City, NY / FIN: Stock Market PlungeMGR: ‘The King of Greed’ Gordon Guyko

The crowd is rocking and a chant of “JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG! JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG!” fills the arena.

Banks and Walstreit hit the ring and attack Blackwell. Berg hits a series of spinning heel kicks to take out McMann. Finebaum, and Vyrus.

After climbing into the ring, Berg gets in Blackwell’s face and lays down the law.

Jill Berg: Charlie. You had a chance. A chance to join the elite of the elite. Jill Berg Enterprises. But you turned it down. That was a mistake. You could have proven yourself worthy tonight if you would won the PCW Title- but you couldn’t get the job done. That was a bigger mistake.

Berg spins around and clocks Blackwell with the spinning heel kick.

Banks pulls Blackwell up long enough to drop him with the Bank Statement.

Walstreit drags Blackwell back up one more time to plant him with the Stock Market Plunge.

Jill Berg stands on Blackwell’s back and raises her arms post-match, oblivious to the war that suddenly erupts outside the ring.

Johnny Suave: But that wasn’t all. Professor McCarthy’s Flock have had a major beef with Ray McAvay dating back to Extreme Election Night 2016 and it blew up again at the D.C. Armory.

The Deep State, the Antifa, The Green World Order, The Young Jerks, Codee Pink, and Emily S. List burst through the Les Miserables and attack McAvay. The Les Miserables fight back and a good little scrap follows between both sides.

Then Dawn McGill runs down with the rest of the PCW roster and wade in and a huge brawl breaks out on the floor.

Suave wraps up the show.

Johnny Suave: …we’ve got new PCW Tag Team Champions. PCW Champion Stone Chism fends off a stiff challenge from Jack Fraiser. And Ray McAvay holds off Charlie Blackwell in the main event to retain the Political Universe title. That’s going to do it for the D.C. Armory Supershow in Washington, D.C. I’m Johnny Suave…have a good night.

EPILOGUE

AFTER THE SHOWIt’s late. The fans have left. The wrestlers have left. PCW Owner Dawn McGill finally walks out of the D.C. Armory two and a half hours after the show ends. She gets into her rental vehicle and pulls out of the parking lot.

Dawn heads north on 19th Street SE and stops at the light at East Capitol Street NE. Traffic is light and she’s the only one stopped at the intersection.

It’s been a real good night. She navigated the tricky part of having a tag team decide the day of the show to jump to the Red Brand. The PCW title match went off well. And most important to her, Ray McAvay successfully defended the Political Universe title (finally, the name’s been decided on) against arch-rival Charlie Blackwell.

All Dawn was thinking about was a hot shower and sleep. And catching a morning flight back to Dallas to see her children.

Her mind occupied, she did not see the pair of headlights coming up fast behind her.

But she felt the impact when the vehicle slammed into the back of her car. Dawn gets pitched forward but the airbag immediately deploys and the seat belt holds firm.

Four men exit the large SUV equipped with a heavy duty front bumper that easily absorbed the collision. One man rips open the driver’s door and another one helps him pull a dazed McGill out of the car. A third man swoops in and places a strip of duct tape over her mouth. The fourth yanks her arms behind her back and zipties her wrists together.

They drag her back to the SUV and throw her into the back seat. It’s there she finds out who’s behind this.

The Coke Brothers and George Moros. Financiers of both factions.

George Moros: We all need to have a little talk here.

Then a cloth hood is placed over her head.

#politics #political #political satire #political wrestling #political nation #republican #democrat #independent #conservative #liberal #libertarian #moderate #Donald Trump #nancy pelosi #heartland #Red State #blue state #left wing #right wing

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furederiko · 8 years ago

Photo

I've sort of lost track of holidays and festives since the year began, but today's Good Friday!!! Meaning it's a good friday to post a Random News Digest as well... Ahahahaha!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The quest for young Albus Dumbledore has come to a close. Warner Bros has entrusted the iconic role to... none other than Jude Law. Which shouldn't come as a surprise, considering the Brit actor's long history with the studio, from the "Sherlock Holmes" series to the upcoming "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword". Personally, I still think Rafe Spall would make a better Albus, but perhaps the movie needs more of Law's... star power considering the first "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" wasn't exactly the big "Harry Potter" hit that WB expected. Beside, Law also suits the "younger man and quite a troubled man" criteria better than Spall.

The down side of this casting, is the general assumption that the sequels will put more focus on the bromancing frenemy between his Dumbledore and Johnny Depp's Gellert Grindelwald. It has been hinted that the two characters have shared a rather 'close' relationship in the past, perhaps even something that was somewhat romantically inclined. Okay, let me correct that. J.K. Rowling has said it herself that "Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald, and that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was.", so it's more than just mere speculation. Thus, it IS going to be interesting to see how Law and Depp come to blow with one another, which is what many "Harry Potter" fans should be dying to see. Then why do I call it a 'down side'? Because at least for me, it's Eddie Redmayne's Newt Scamander...'s magical ZOO that was the prime highlight of the first movie. Those creatures, with the chemistry between Alison Sudol's Queenie and Dan Fogler's Jacob Kowalski coming hot in second place, are the part that I found to be delightful. These three characters, alongside Katherine Waterston's Tina, have all been confirmed to return, so one would easily wonder how these New Yorkers are going to fit in the story that takes place in Paris and Watford, England. Admittedly, Tina and even Newt himself, were pretty dull and boring for a lead. But it would feel like such a crime if they are put aside to the corner, as the spotlight is stolen by Law and Depp instead.

It is currently unclear whether the next movie will once again feature two separate storylines going in parallel with one another. But that's exactly what's currently generating the concern for some people. David Yates will be returning to helm the second movie, so let's just hope he'll find a way to make the sequel feel more... balanced and evenly focused. "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2", a tentative title for now because I'm not even sure if it will be accurate to the story anymore, is set to be released next year on November 16th, 2018. That's when we'll see whether this will turn out to be a magical Brokeback Mountain between Law and Depp, or another adventure of Newt & Co.

DC Films

Pray tell, why are we getting another poster for "The Justice League"? The popular notion is that WB is launching one as preparation for that last trailer debuting in theaters alongside "The Fate of the Furious". Yet when you look at the timing, somehow it just feels rather inappropriate. I mean, why not release it alongside those character posters and teasers last month? Can't remember? Those ones that oddly arrived on the same week to Spider-Man's posters and trailer. Sounds dejavu? Because Marvel Studios had just debuted the trailer and first poster for their upcoming Thor movie as well! You know, the one that will premiere just two weeks ahead of "The Justice League"!

Aaaah yes, THAT is the reason why calling this as coincidence is hokey at best. As if WB is trying to convince audience that... yes, despite the muted colors and the joyless forced humor, their grand ensemble movie is as colorful and fun. Now I can't help but wonder if this is a direct answer to that hillarious FANMADE video that's casually making fun of Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne and Gal Gadot's Diana Prince... LOL. Anyway, my point is... hogging on another movie's spotlight is acceptable, since many studios have been doing this since the Hollywood's dinosaur age. But I do really wish WB would stop being so dickish, while at the same time, being utterly obvious about it. Stop positioning themselves as the angry envious rival, subtly but blatantly creating flame wars with Marvel, because it does them no good. Acting all offensive in a non-existent competition is the wrong thing to do, because it makes them look BAD instead!

"Wonder Woman" also made news because the movie is said to be tracking for a $83 million opening. Eventhough it is unfortunately lower than DC Films' previous two movies, it sure didn't stop fans from turning into bragging mode and stuff. After all, that's how the internet works, and sorry to say, precisely the way 'DC fans' tend to overreact with things both good and bad. Meanwhile, another outlandish rumor hit the internet, claiming that WB will release not one, not two, but FOUR Batman-related movies in the year 2019. Yeah, judging from the studio's track record on announcing DC projects, only to end up losing directors or getting back to first page rewrites... over and over again, that sounds too good to be true, right? Despite all that, just imagine the headlines and numerous thinkpieces immediately run by various entertainment, and fansites. Well, at least until WB's producer Jon Berg and DC Entertainment's President Geoff Johns themselves shot down this report in their own hillarious way. I don't know about you, but THAT is what I call FUN.

Last but not least, Dolph Lundgren has joined "Aquaman" to play merman(?) King Nereus of Xebel. Making him the third antagonist after Patrick Wilson's Orm, and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II's Black Manta. That's not counting the likelihood of Willem Dafoe's Dr. Vulko turning evil, of course. Director James Wan has confirmed this casting himself, and Lundgren will likely join production when it begins on May in Hawaii. Although having the former Punisher sounds good, once again, this casting felt a little toooo obvious to be a coincidence. After all, we just got a hot rumor surrounding Sylvester Stallone's important role in the upcoming Guardians movie. And when you start remembering that Lundgren used to play as Stallone's rival/opponent in "Rocky IV" before teaming up in "The Expendables" series? Aaaaaah, it's another act of spite, right there! Oh WB, when will you ever learn...

Transformers

Have you seen the latest trailer for "Transformers: The Last Knight"? I certainly haven't, because I'm totally not looking forward to see this movie anytime soon. But I heard it was great, and well... probably the best one this movie has released so far. Honestly, after the lackluster tragedy that was "Transformers: Age of Extinction", I never would've thought that we're going to get a 5th movie of this winding-down franchise. And this is just the beginning of another array of sequels, because director Michael Bay himself has explicitly stated to MTV that... "There are fourteen stories written. And there’s good stuff. So, I would like to do one of them, though.". 14? SERIOUSLY?!! Dang it, for a guy who thought "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" was meant to be the last, this statement felt like an offensive mockery. Anyways, this 5th movie is set to arrive on June 23rd. I'm personally more curious about whether it will rake as much money as the previous one. Somehow I suspect it won't, but general audience seems to love this franchise... so, we'll see.

SONY Marvel Universe

SONY Pictures has found its Miles Morales! What for? That animated "Spider-Man" movie that is set to be released on December 21st, 2018. Yes, the same date that recently has been occupied by "Aquaman". The young actor privileged to lend his voice for the animated Miles is none other than Shameik Moore. Fans might argue that Morales is half black, half latino in the comics, whereas Moore is not. But this is an animated movie, which only requires his voice, so I don't think it should be a problem. The actor himself shot to fame following his debut in Rick Famuyiwa's "Dope", later starred in the Netflix drama "The Get Down", and will next be seen in "The Pretenders". Speaking of "Dope", who would've guessed that it was such a good movie, eh? I mean, most of its main cast has gotten big comic book roles now. Tony Revolori is soon to be seen as Flash in MCU's Spider-Man. Kiersey Clemons is Iris West in DC's who-knows-when Flash movie, a feature that was almost directed by Famuyiwa. Zoe Kravitz was in "X-Men: First Class". And now Moore. Should we expect anyone else from that movie?

Aside from Moore, another cast who has joined the movie is Liev Schreiber. Schreiber portrayed Sabretooth in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", and is currently well known as the lead actor of "Ray Donovan". According to the same report, Schreiber will be voicing the movie's antagonist/supervillain, though his character is being kept a secret for now. If I didn't know better, I have a feeling that Schreiber is going to voice Otto Octavius, or more popularly known as Dock Ock. Unless he's being assigned to voice Kraven the Hunter, which might also work when you put into account his previous ferocious comic book role. Then again, just like Moore, only his voice will be utilized, so he can practically play anyone. LOL. Hollywood's favorite duo Phil Lord and Chris Miller are writing and producing this movie, while Bob Persichetti and Peter Ramsey will co-direct the movie. Considering this is an animated movie, shouldn't they start working from now? I mean, animation is unlike live action movie, because it needs to be done at least 2 years in advance to achieve the highest quality. Let's just hope that this movie will be able to stand against the rising tide of "Aquaman" when it arrives next year. Otherwise, this might spell trouble for SONY's ambitious universe.

X-Men Universe

In a very surprising (but seriously pleasant) announcement, "Deadpool 2" has discovered its future-mutant Cable. And my oh my, it's Mad Titan Thanos himself, Josh Brolin!!! Yes, scoring his second Marvel role, Brolin's Cable will be featured in not one, nor two, but FOUR future X-Men movies. Popular speculation says that his next movie will be "X-Force", if not "New Mutants" as well. He's joining Ryan Reynolds who is returning to produce and star as lead character Wade Wilson, as well as Zazie Beets who will portray Domino. Interestingly, Brolin has played a comic book character before, as the titular character in the critically and financially failed DC movie "Jonah Hex". Which means, he and Reynolds are fated kindred spirits from the get go! That's nothing but true fact, no matter how Reynolds openly 'complains' about it... LOL.

No offense to David Harbour, Brad Pitt, or Michael Shannon, but Brolin sounds too perfect for this role. Not just in terms of looks, but also in the actor's ability to play the straight-faced man with a penchant to infuse his character with various kinds of intensity. "Old Boy", and "Sicario" are great examples of this. Created by Rob Liefeld and writer Louise Simonson, Cable is the complete opposite personality to the obnoxious, oddball, and foul-mouthed Deadpool. He's a tough, no-nonsense mutant whose gruff attitude and mysterious aura didn't waste time to attract a great number of fans. He has also been paired with Deadpool ever since. Suffice to say, it's a character that is right up on Brolin's alley, with "Men in Black 3" as its easiest example. With this sequel expected to arrive in 2018, production for the David Leitch feature is set to have a June start in Vancouver. Brolin is currently filming his Thanos role with Marvel Studios in Atlanta, and might even have completed his motion-capture part already. So rest assured, scheduling issue is not even a thing. Interestingly, both movies will be released next year, which means, 2018 would be a truly Marvel-ous year for Brolin!

Marvel Studios

Have you seen the mindblowing first teaser of "Thor: Ragnarok"? The long awaited teaser was simply rock and roll AWESOME, wasn't it! Not only director Taika Waititi delivered a Thor Odinson's movie that already felt distinctly different to his previous solo features, he also imbued it with his signature quirky fun but gorgeous colorful style. It felt like this least-favored franchise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe has finally embraced its funky Asgardian glory and cosmic side, eh? As if that's not enough to please us, it has already scored an amazing achievement by being the most-watched trailer that both Disney and Marvel Studios ever released! Is this a good sign? Most definitely. In fact, this was such a splendid teaser, I'm actually hoping that Marvel Studios won't be releasing anything else after this. This one's more than enough to grab audience's attention.

The official poster that came afterwards, though? Perhaps it didn't quite leave a similar impression, but arguably still emitted a strong promise of colors and style. Especially with all those Rainbow-Bridge-tone illuminating the titular character. Just look all those gorgeous colors, right? Chris Hemsworth is looking cool with that new haircut, and of course, don't forget the absence of Thor's beloved Mjolnir. Seriously, this movie is going to be strangely fun but epic! November 3rd, 2017 can't come soon enough.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves too soon. "Ragnarok" is still 7 months away, and there's "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" and "Spider-Man: Homecoming" that we need to anticipate first! With all three releases of the year looking equally fun and colorful, it would be a mistake to skip any one of them, right? HUGE mistake. And we can expect the first screenings reactions from "Vol 2" pretty soon. Why? Director James Gunn, along with stars Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, and Dave Bautista have kicked off the sequel's worldwide promotional tour in Tokyo, Japan last week. Not surprising, because it is set to hit theatres in Australia, Southeast Asia, and other international countries theatres starting on April 25.

As for the North American region, if I'm not mistaken, some of the press members are going to be the first to see it, just a few days from now. I bet early social media reviews and responses will arrive pretty much the same day. That's also the same reason why it's going to get harder and harder to avoid spoilers spreading throughout the internet. Even interviews and press roundup have slowly reveal details about the movie, much earlier than we expected. For example, Kurt Russell has spoken to Total Film (via Flickering Myth) on whether we'll be seeing a "Tango and Cash" reunion in this movie between his Ego the Living Planet, and Sylvester Stallone's mysterious character. Nah... I won't spoil anything about it, just go ahead and read the article if you're up with a little spoiler.

For the time being, "Vol 2" is tracking for a $150 million domestic debut. This is considerably close to the opening of "Captain America: Civil War", and also a solid improvement to the $94,3 million debut of the first "Guardians of the Galaxy" back in 2014. It's hard to predict whether this opening estimation is on point or not, because even "Beauty and the Beast" have magnificently surpassed its initial tracking number (and has broken the $1 billion mark yesterday). There's always a chance that the same accomplishment will occur with "Vol 2", considering the franchise is now sitting on everyone's top 5 most favorite among the MCU. Not to mention, "Vol 2" is the first movie that will kick start the 2017 Summer Movie season in the US. I guess we'll have to wait and see, and hope the best for the sequel. Because if it's good, then I bet Gunn would not shy away from returning to create a "Vol 3".

As for "Homecoming", several rather spoilery details of the movie might have landed online as well. In this case, regarding the "Daily Bugle" existence in the MCU, several scene descriptions from an event held in Tokyo, the possible appearance of other Avengers beside Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark, as well as actress Angourie Rice's true role in the movie. Hailing down from a Tom Holland's fanbase account on Twitter, these reports felt... a little hard to fully believe, because it could very well be a subjective assumption on their part. So do take them with a huge grain of salt.

Finally, remember that candid photos of Elizabeth Olsen filming an action scene for "Avengers: Infinity War" in Edinburgh? There's a video version of it now, and one that looks rather... dire and serious. This scene once again hinting that Olsen's Scarlet Witch and likely Paul Bettany's Vision will come into blow with a CGed henchmen, presumably the Black Order members. If you're curious, then go ahead and check it on Youtube. Assuming it hasn't been taken down, of course. Inline with the casting announcement from FOX, it seems Josh Brolin would have concluded his part as Thanos in May so that he can join the production for "Deadpool 2" in Vancouver. Which is probably why the "Infinity War" production will then proceed with his Black Order members instead.

Netflix

This might sound surprising, but it's the last category for today! Yes, because I have no topics for the game section. LOL.

It wasn't long ago that we heard Marvel's "The Defenders" has wrapped its production, to pave way for the second season of Marvel's "Jessica Jones". Looks like Marvel's "The Punisher" has followed suit as well with its completion. A Twitter fanbase account for lead actor Jon Bernthal, reported that the cast has thrown away a wrap party for the production that began on October 2016. Judging from this, it's safe to assume that the series will in fact arrive later this year instead of next year. It's a little suspicious though, that it wrapped just a few weeks after "The Defenders" eventhough they started at relatively the same time. Considering the mini series only has 8 episodes, does this mean "The Punisher" might be a more compact/shorter series than those previous four? I sure hope so, because forcing these serialized shows into a 13 episodes with materials enough for maybe 10 at most, certainly didn't work charm. Said sentiment has even become one of the loudest talked-about criticism thrown at them. Here's hoping Netflix will realize this issue and solve it accordingly, because seriously, watching Marvel's "Iron Fist" alone has already worn me out.

Meanwhile, Netflix is reminding its audience that the 2nd season of "Sense8" will arrive in May 5th, by launching an official trailer. Which is highly necessary, because even I have forgotten that I've written about this fact before! YIKES!!! The inability of Netflix to set a fixed annual release date is admittedly troublesome, as it tends to wore out its devoted audience due to uncertainty of when to expect any continuations. "Sense8" and "Voltron Legendary Defender", as well as their uncertain delays are good examples of this particular issue.

IMHO, "Sense8" is a show that would have benefitted from having its second season arriving as soon as possible, preferably in mere months apart (just like the Network side, perhaps?). The first season was undoubtedly slow if not poorly paced, and the story only got interesting and intense in the last two-to-three episodes. It undeniably felt like an extended intro for the real story, thus forcing viewers to wait too long (remember, first season was launched in 2015!) to see what's next (one that hopefully explores the REAL intrigue behind them), simply doesn't do any good. Sure, there was a "Sense8: Christmas Special" on December 23rd last year, but I doubt many even knew it existed nor have watched it. I sure haven't, because even I only remember about it just now, FOUR months later. LOL. And to be honest, although I'm probably among the few who DID enjoy the first season, I've realized I'm not that anxious to see the second. Why? I have forgotten whatever was happening in it, so seeing this new trailer only succeeded in making me scratch my head in confusion. That is NOT good...

Thankfully, Netflix's bingewatch functionality helps to counter this problem. After all, unlike movies that come and go, we can view any of their original shows anytime we want. So those who haven't seen the first, can plan their start later by watching both seasons all at once. Trust me, I believe that would be more effective for this series. So right now, I'm patiently waiting for the critics' reviews first before actually checking the second season. While at the same time, re-watching the first season one by one, which might be a challenge because sadly this show doesn't have a strong rewatchability. My only hope is, I won't end up forgetting about this plan in just a few weeks after release. LOL.

#Random-News-Digest #random thoughts #news #movie #fantastic beasts and where to find them #dc #justice league #transformers #spider-man #animation #deadpool #Marvel Studios #thor: ragnarok #Spider-Man: Homecoming #guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #Avengers #infinity war #netflix #the punisher

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