#the fact I'm writing shit of them is a sign of desperation

[ando666detonao]

Do you ever think about the fact that King Dice is a mortal, so the devil is going to outlive him eventually

Not a day goes by without the thought hitting me like a truck. I even thought of writing a oneshot about the Devil dealing with the grief of losing Dice unexpectedly, but it stayed merely as an idea.

both scenes above are dreams of the Devil and how's been affecting him throughout the yrs, the whole thing would've been set in his subconscious.

[chaconnewon]

drabble ——— jay (smut)

a/n: hii, sorry for being inactive, i wasn't inspired enough to write something and everything I did seemed like shit-- so I had this short idea. I hope you like it. As always, english is not my first language so I'm sorry If something is wrong or doesn't makes sense at all. <3

Thinking about best friend Jay who likes way too much to make you embarrassed whenever the topic of sex comes up in a conversation because ‘’accidentally’’ he found some of your sex toys while you were in your bathroom, and he stayed in your room.

You can feel your cheeks heat up as his gaze lingered on you for a little long time. Seems like no one around you two noticed this behavior but honestly you didn’t want them to know. You didn’t need more people bringing out your little secrets.

So, how come you ended up under his body? You pants were off, and nowhere to be found. He had one hand next to your head, holding his weight. His other hand was between your bodies. Jay was holding one of your vibrators close to you, and even though the device was turned off, you could clearly feel nervousness running through your body.

‘’Can I turn this on…?’’ He asked, searching for your gaze. Or any sign of uncomfortableness. You nodded.

Before he switched on the toy, he spread your legs using his, and settled down between them. Jay pushed slowly the top of your vibrator to your clothed cunt, massaging with no rush. The feeling was nice and soon you found yourself biting your bottom lip to suppress any gasps coming from your throat. 

Jay looked half curious, half lost at his own thoughts. How could you look so pretty, all on display for him? You agreed so quickly to let him try those toys on you, affirming that they felt so good if they were used correctly. But of course he didn’t believe you. How can a toy make you cum just by itself?

So here he was, turning on the toy and pressing it directly to your clit. You gasped for air, tensing your legs a little like if you were trying to close them, but Jay didn’t let you. He smirked, slowly rubbing the top of the toy along your clothes folds and back to your clit.

‘’Does it feel good, hm?’’

You nodded eagerly, him chuckling at your response.

In fact, it felt so good. Your mind was clouded by his warm body, and how his eyes were scanning you, like if he was trying to engrave all of your reactions for himself. He turned two levels up, and you let out a surprised moan.

‘’Y–You should try it too.’’

‘’Should I?’’

He wasn’t very familiar to sex toys, or how to use them but this one, specifically, seemed to be easy. Jay approached his lower body to yours, his bulge on his pants meeting the vibrating top of the toy. His free hand clenched the sheets, panting as soon as he started to feel the pleasure running through his body.

Guided by your moans, Jay started to rock his hips into the toy, sending you another way of pleasure as the toy itself reached your firmly. Even though your eyelids started to feel heavy, you couldn’t resist to keep them open and watch your bestfriend get off with you. His clenched jaw, lips pressed to not let any pant or whimper escape from him. 

‘’F–Fuck this feels so good…’’ you heard him say, and nodded.

One of your hands traveled under your shirt, lifting it above your tits to free them and starting to knead them. You were so desperate for more friction and couldn’t wait to ask him. Couldn’t help; the way you clit was being stimulated with the moans of your best friend was too much to take. 

He saw you, eyes dark with thick desire.

‘’Shit— You do this often?’’

The way the pleasure hitted you left you speechless but allowed you to nod at his question. And he could feel himself hardener even more to the single thought of you getting off with that exact toy: legs wide open late at night, with no panties and wet. Shit, he needed to see that. He needed to be the reason for your moans.

And well, now he was kinda the reason.

‘’I–’’ you started, catching his attention. Jay wasn’t even thinking to slow down, ‘’Sometimes I got t–to come faster while I thought about y–you…’’

Your sudden confession made him groan, and felt like that was his last straw to keep it cool.

Jay tossed the toy away, gaining a surprised look from you. He hooked the hem of your pants, along with your underwear, and pulled through your legs. The did the same with his own bottoms, freeing his hard dick from the damn jeans he had on that were hurting his boner.

Again stood betweens your legs, looking down to your wet pussy, and felt the urge to sink his mouth through it and shove his tongue down your hole but that wasn’t the plan.

At least not today’s plan.

‘’You don’t know how many times I jerked to the thought of you, y/n.��’ He slid his dick between you wet, warm folds. ‘’Wishing that was your lips around my cock and not my hand.’’

He quickened his peace, not letting you the opportunity to respond at his confession. Your room was filled with hot and wet sounds, laced with the moans you two couldn't keep to yourselves. Each thrust from Jay made his dick tip brush into your swollen clitoris and had you seeing stars. 

‘’Can you go f–faster? I’m s–so close.’’

Your words were his command, and so did he. Grabbing your thigh for better stability, he used all his stamina for that last moment. His dick was glittering due to your arousal, leaving it sticky and slippery for a better access through your pussy. He looked at you, lust covering all his gaze and made eye contact with your bouncing tits.

You back arched as you felt that familiar knot tightened in your lower abdomen, and you could tell by the way Jay movements were sloppier that he was close too. A few strokes were enough for you two to reach your climax. Warm and sticky ropes of his cum layered on your stomach, some landing at your pussy as well.

His grip on your thighs started to hurt while he was emptying himself on you, but at the same time felt so good thanks to you high that you couldn’t care less.

[dressthesage]

My biggest beef with Double Exposure breaking up max and Chloe off screen isn't even about the breakup itself. Like, yeah blah blah blah I ship pricefield whatever, but it's more like a massive red flag that this is a desperate, lazy cash grab.

Like I actually really love the stuff we've seen of the new love interest in the new game. The story itself, with max removed, seems pretty cool actually. I love the idea of a murder mystery plot where you bounce between universes where it did and didn't happen. That's a really cool idea that I would love to see a game of!

The problem is none of it feels Max Caufield. Even if you want to try and justify it by the shit max did in the last chapter of game 1, that was max time traveling to various points of her own life and then popping back up in the present of the world after her changes. Unless it turns out max is the killer, it just doesn't track the same.

It feels like they wrote an entirely separate story for a new mc and pushed Max in as an after thought. Genuinely, if they'd put a new mc in the game I'd be overjoyed for it. Like they wanted to use Max for the marketing pull but didn't want to make one ending canon or put in the work to write a story about a longstanding relationship already in progress. So they just broke em up so they can write another "new couple coming together" plot that's way easier.

Like it or not, Chloe Price is an essential element of the story of Max Caufield. Max's powers being time travel are a clear expression of her wanting to make up for her mistakes in the past, mostly around the harm she did to Chloe by abandoning her. Chloe's death is a result of max abandoning her because she wasn't there to help her friend when she was needed most. Max's devotion to saving her is based on that guilt and the fact she still loves her best friend. Sacrificing Chloe is Max admitting she can't undo the harm she did but trying to stop from hurting others. Sacrificing the bay is her saying she is WILLING to do whatever it takes to make up for her mistakes and make things right with Chloe.

Even if you wanted to do some exploring of what it means to break that kind of bond with someone, you don't do it BY HAVING THEM BREAK UP OFF SCREEN. Lazy, hack, spineless bullshit is what that is.

If you have something interesting to say with a change in direction for a character, have the confidence to stand on it. If not, then either leave it the fuck alone, or put in the work to follow the core of a story to its faithful successor.

Idk, if it really knocks folks socks off I may give it a shot but all I'm saying is this feels like a big warning sign that the team making this sequel kinda don't give a fuck.

[wretchedwitchpussy]

Final thoughts on WWDITS:

They tried doing way too much with the little time that they had left and they didn't put enough time into wrapping things up properly. That's it. You could have cut all of the new characters that they introduced in season 6 and just focused on wrapping the things you already introduced, but that didn't happen. It was pretty sloppy in my opinion.

I fully thought that Colin punching Guillermo was a sign that he was an EV right? I was like what else could they possibly do with that? But without that pay off...what was the point of him doing that actually? Just beating the shit out of Guillermo? That's fucked up and there wasn't a point to it. There wasn't a point to a lot of the stuff that I saw on screen this season. Speaking as someone who was really into Nandermo, there was no ultimate payoff to the Guide and Nandor, not even them ending up together, which would have been unsatisfying to me as a viewer but at least they would have done something with a storyline that they already had going instead of just letting it fizzle out for no reason. At least there would have been a point.

There were so many good storylines that they just let die after season 5. And for what. Like. What was the point of Laszlo having his emotional catharsis with Sean? What was the point of Nandor desperately wanting a romantic life partner (which, btw, I don't think it's fair to say that Nandor's found what he wanted via crime fighting with Guillermo, because his want throughout all of the seasons was specifically FOR a romantic partner. It just seems like another way to badly resolve something that they didn't know how to resolve)? What was the point of [insert any dead unresolved plot point here]?

To me most, if not all, of the plot points this season as well as the way that the ending(s) occurred felt shoehorned in and kind of didn't make sense. A pretty good political message about immigrants making up the lifeblood of America? Awesome! Oh it was done shabbily and played off as a joke? Also the guide is MAGA? Oh okay. Also congrats on fucking up a character THAT badly with some of her last words on the show. Why not. Inasfar as shoehorned in to cover up bad writing, Nadja just hypnotizes the audience so that we get a satisfying ending, instead of the writers putting in the work to set up a good ending? Okay I guess. As a result, at least to me, it felt so rushed. I just wish they had finished up the very good storylines they had already set up instead of trying to do more when they knew this was the last season.

It was also pretty sloppy to me that they decided to do multiple endings, poorly, instead of just picking one and committing to it and doing it right. It just seems like they couldn't make up their minds at all both throughout the show's run and regarding the ending. I honestly don't really care that Nandermo, in my opinion, isn't even canon. To me, you have to show that sort of thing and not just coyly allude to it? I'm not going to call it queerbaiting or shipbaiting because honestly I don't want to get into a discussion about that, I mainly think it was just poor writing. I wish that they had done anything definitive with them instead of copping out with three endings (one of which is it was all a dream? bsffr), since, love them or hate them, they DID set them up as the "main couple" of the sitcom.

I also find the alternate endings thing kind of insulting to the fans? I guess? Like the fans didn't need you to do that. The fans can write fanfic and make alternate endings to the show themselves. I guess I just wanted something definitive instead of something simpering and pandering, which is kind of what it felt like to me.

I understand that people felt like it embraced the fans and told the fans that they loved them, but to me, that messaging feels like feel-good pandering to cover up the fact that they didn't know what they were doing with the show, and that they didn't know how to end it.

(@brewhay u wanted my thoughts on the finale lol)

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

prologue: the death of a wise king (Obey Me!)

***HEY!! PLEASE READ!! This story will have a lot of angst and a lot of Major Character Death and Injury, BUT, I want to tell people ahead of time that it will not stay that way and there WILL be a happy ending, so, if you're willing to stick it out for awhile, I promise it'll be worth it eventually!!***

A/N: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!! A multi-chapter obey me fic?? From me?? We'll see how many chapters I get out before I start forgetting to write more 💀💀 But!! I'm currently actually really excited for this story and have a lot of motivation and inspiration for it right now, so I'm hoping to get a lot of it written out!! It's gonna be way angsty, but it's also gonna be so fun. I got the inspiration when I was playing around with some different scenarios regarding nightbringer and such, so do with that what you wish. Happy reading!! I hope you enjoy!!

Pairing(s): None (yet)

Summary: A disturbance in the quiet.

Tag(s): Major Character Death, Blood, Sharp Object (Mentioned), Fear, Angst

Word Count: 455

Song Inspiration: Technically none, but listening to Way Down We Go by Kaleo while you read it is a vibe

Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.

~*~

[Series Masterlist] (Link TBA)

[Prologue] [Chapter 1] [More To Be Added]

[Read on AO3]

[Author Masterlist]

~*~

A high-pitched, blood-curdling scream breaks the quiet of a seemingly normal morning at RAD. It was a scream that was immediately recognized by most, but some knew it better than others.

“ASMO!?” Lucifer shouts as he leads the group in their endeavor to follow the sound, his voice tinged with panic and concern.

They didn’t have to go far. In fact, they didn’t even have to stray from their original path, as the scream came from their planned destination. As they reach the doorway of the RAD student council room, there are multiple other shouts.

“Asmo!? What’s goin’ on, huh??”

“Asmodeus!?”

“Are you alright!?”

“D-Did something happen!?”

But as everyone entered the room, they all stopped in their tracks. The only sound was the whispers from the other students in the hallway as they creeped closer to the room, trying to figure out what all the commotion was.

Asmodeus was in the middle of the room, stopped right before reaching the round center table. He was visibly shaking as he stared straight forward and the others were certain that if they could see his face, he’d be crying.

But the sight of him was not what had the others stunned. No, it was more likely to be the dead body placed over the table and the beloved human standing on the opposite side, blood dripping from both. But it’s clear that the blood only spilled from one of them.

“I-Is that-?”

“Oh, shit.”

“No.”

A pause of silence, and then, “Lexy…?”

The person on the other side of the room showed no signs that they heard their name being called. He stood still as a statue, staring down at the body of the other human with blank eyes and a familiar dagger still clutched tightly in their fist, his head tilted down. He was still wearing his sleep clothes, which were now torn and dirty with more than just blood.

A quiet whimper echoes through the room and Simeon is quick to grab Luke and face him away from the scene, cursing himself for not doing so previously. Multiple others also found themselves looking away, unsure how to handle what their eyes were witnessing.

Lucifer then reaches forward to place a hand on Asmodeus’ shoulder. The other demon startles before immediately turning and latching onto his older brother, choked sobs muffled by the chest his face was buried in. The Avatar of Pride stares across from him with a look of betrayal, confusion, concern, and anger.

“Lexy…Lexy…What did you do? What did you do?” He asks urgently, desperately, pleadingly.

But Lexy wasn’t answering.

And the Wise Sorcerer lay dead on the table between them, warm blood still leaking from the stab wounds in his chest.

~*~

A/N: So!! What do we think of the prologue? 👀 Imma prolly cry so many times while writing this story, the things I'll do for the sake of fandom content, smh. Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear it!!

My asks are also always open, so if you wanna discuss anything obey me related or just wanna say hi, then please don't hesitate to stop by and do so!!

If you wish to be added to a taglist for future parts of this story, lemme know!!

[laststandx3]

I'll be bitter for a minute and say it: i think the terror for how good it is, is also very partial on crozier on being #1 mister only good colonizer in the arctic, and i sort of hate it because the change happens only because he sobers up. and sure alchool makes people cruel, but sobering up doesnt make them perfect. he went from let silna be left on the ship without protection/kick her out for the tuunbaq if she doesnt help us/ rip the guy that died to get me a bottle of whisky, anywayy to peace and love on planet earth lets us all take this walk together while i share words of wisdom and love with this other colonizer who's also very sorry he didn't do anything good with his life. Crozier started the journey at least as a heavy day-drinker and i understand how that's different from heavy alcholism but at the same time i can't imagine all of crozier's faults being the consequences of whisky alone. and having him overcoming his alcholism and wising up immediately after being clean for a few weeks is FOR ME a terrible writing choice that paints him as being naturally good and his 'bad' behaviors coming ONLY from the alchool. yes he sees blanky getting hurt and that's starts his sobering up path. but that's not enough for me. the people (other characters state aloud for the audience) he loves more than god loves them are dying left and right. and i really dont care if corzier cares about the crew or not but if he cared he should have cared about them even when he was drunk and not remembring about their wellbeing AFTER he got clean. i'm not saying you cant enjoy crozier. i just believe his character development isnt earned and that he got it only because he's the designed good character that canonically survives in the book. i dont think that him shitting himself for a few weeks while sobering up can count as having the emotional development to go from one extreme to the other. especially because everyone else is also there sufferring physically and psychologically even more than him due to the fact that their all stranded in the arctic and dying of scurvy and no one else in the crew could have the time off work, privacy and attentions to heal. crozier being the 2nd on command and then captain used his power to become a drunk and later to clean up. and i just dont believe that a man who abused his position like that from the beginning just becuase he was pissed he couldnt marry the woman he wanted suddently stops abusing his position because he's now clean and pure. TO ME it's a bad writing choice that is also force-fed to the audience with the line 'more than god loves them' so that you get it for sure that he's the good guy who cares about people not like those others evil characters who would do anything to survive like killing innocents and being racist (the good guys could never. except they canonically did- but wait, not in THIS continent so it doesnt matter) and eating people (which is a sign of being naturally evil, no matter the circumstances) or following a religion in a desperate last chance of survival (again no one on the good guys side would put religion above good sense and the safety of fellow human beings. in this continent?? maybe? ugh)

in summary i think the main flaw i find in the terror is how much it still tries to draw a line between good and evil. instead of just trying to portray the human disperation for their mortal condition. how much having to come face to face with tuunbaq must destroy all of those men convinctions on what life/afterlife are (for what i remember it just addresses it for tozer AND in the SCRIPT) nobody else gets a life shuttering experience. it's either the devil, then good christians should be safe, or it's a different religion, then what?? what do you do when your life looses its meaning? and the answer for most of the charactes was 🤷‍♀️guess we'll think about it after this awesome party we're about to throw. i dont want this to be about religion, but these men are wrecked in every way, there's nobody to save them and everyday they're a little more in pain than the one before. there shouldnt be a camp of the good men lead by the strong and wise one who take care of their sick and lets the dying die peacefully with morphin. while in the bad guys camp they eat people and have evil laugh competitions and kill their sick with knifes bc giving them poison might make them unedible. and specifically those evil guys where also the reason why the expedition happened to hurt the locals, the good guys have nothing to do with it.

i dont think there's nothing wrong (narratively) in doing anything to survive. even if it's something cruel, because those men are at the end of the world alone, it's at least realistic that they'll try everything to avoid death. crozier(and jfj even if offscreen) gets to be cruel at the beginning of the story but by middle point they're shown to be sad (about unrelated things) and spend the last few episodes being kind and brave (and forgiven by the narrative) while their chance at character development is uniquelly given by their ranks. in the meantime the consequences of those cruelness (only hickey, because we dont get to see survivors of jfj trip to China, if he left any) dont get the chance to heal and change because hickey's position of subordiante never allows him to be really safe, and because his torture was public, automatically making every witness taking the side of the perpetrator. hickey's never given weeks off work to recover because he got lashed because of his own actions. hickey doesnt get words of wisdom from a companion because in his mind everyone agreed with crozier in him deserving the lashes, (except maybe tozer? but even that isnt that clear cut) hickey, manson and hartnell also magiaclly heal from the lashes after a few weeks (even when ANYOTHER character cant heal because of scurvy) so the narrative can't held crozier accountable for the pain he caused.

the good guys and the bad guys' actions are treated differently by the show. even when the good guys actions should have consequences and the bad guys' shouldnt. the narrative has already decided which sins will be forgiven and which will be punished. and it's a bit annoying to me because for how wonderful the terror is, i cant help but feel like i'm being spoonfed a narrative about morality when at its core the story is about humanity.

[eleanorfenyx]

I have finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and here are some of my thoughts! (Obviously not spoiler free)

The cases are absolutely batshit insane and I loved it every single time they were like 'we totally collected this evidence that incriminates a secret suspect, just believe us and also don't question when the fuck we had the time to do this or when we figured out that we needed to look for it'. 10/10 no notes, that's a hilarious way to have a genius detective. Show us nothing, tell us everything, YES king.

That being said, I could have done with a lot less standing around having the supporting cast repeat whatever Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing announce, maybe in an attempt to make sure their genius is clear for the audience? I get it, but at the same time it felt a little too hand-holdy for me, especially in scenes where LLH and FDB had already discussed their findings between themselves before presenting them to the concerned bystanders. I can read between the lines (or else understand what has just been explicitly stated) without having every conclusion filtered through a slightly different sentence structure to make sure I got it.

Di Feisheng amnesia arc my fuckin beloved

Di Feisheng destroying his 'father' and freeing everyone in Di manor in a vicious act of catharsis that tied nicely into the main Nanyin bug-mind-control-thing narrative my beloved

Di Feisheng my beloved

The amount of times I was like...genuinely surprised he and Li Lianhua didn't kiss is both embarrassing (because I do in fact understand censorship and what I sign up for with these dramas and yet and yet) and numerous enough that I could...possibly...theoretically..write a 5+1 fic of every time I want them to kiss about it. No one hold me to that but it's something I think I'd like to do.

Re: the above point: because what the FUCK was that ending?!!! EXCUSE ME?! I gotta FIX THAT SHIT.

There will come a day when the strength of my hope for an unambiguously happy ending in a queer(-coded? is the source originally bl or is this its own thing?) wuxia drama is rewarded....but it is not this day. I must fix this myself.

Jiao Liqiao's laugh is one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I was reaaaaally hoping someone would just up and stab her during one of her little evil laughing fits. At one point I was shouting "KILL HER, KILL HER" at my screen because I could NOT take anymore of her (unfortunately, I did in fact have to take more of her).

I still think her insistence on being obsessed with DFS is hysterical when he is so VISIBLY only interested in LLH. Explicitly STATES that his only life purpose is to fuck fight LLH again. Babygirl (derogatory) he is so fucking gay let's get you a nice knife to the gut instead, okay?

I thought the whole Shan Gudao plot was interesting, going from looking desperately for his body -> putting him to rest -> hunting for his murderer -> finding out he's alive/the mastermind behind everything going wrong (which I was proud of myself for realizing before the reveal, I'm normally bad at that) -> thwarting him with sass and superior martial arts at every possible turn -> killing him stone fuckin dead with beginner level skills because he's so up his own hole he can't see that's what's happening - was really fun!

He also has a SUPER annoying laugh he can fuck off

OH OH OH MARTIAL ARTS SKILL OF TRANS YOUR GENDER?! I MARRIED HER SO HER AFFAIRS ARE MY BUSINESS NOT YOURS??? ASKING YOUR WIFE FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LAY DYING AND SHE GIVES IT TO YOU?????? OKAYYYYYYY

The twist at the end that LLH is the one with royal blood was so funny to me. Like it's a good twist and I love that Shan Gudao was just quite literally always a fuckin try-hard loser in ways he didn't even know, but also it was SO funny. Granny coming in clutch at the last fuckin minute with secret knowledge she just literally never shared.

LLH is such a smooth motherfucker. Shame about his insistence on dying when quite literally everyone (bar the people who suck) is begging this man to just live. Just LIVE DAMN IT!!!!! I really liked it when FDB begs him to just consider his own life as important for ONCE and remember that people care about him because YES his self-sacrificing and committment to Chilling Out Farmer Style was not the mercy he thought it was!

LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH DI FEISHENG YOU DAMN IDIOT (the likelihood of me resisting the urge to write at least the one fic for them is zero to none)

Unironically love spitting up blood as a plot device and this show is no different. The Drama. The Panache. The desperation of everyone around you because you have BLOOD coming out of your MOUTH and you are FAINTING. Poison acting up? Spit blood. Someone bitch slap you with their magical palm ability? Spit blood. Get stressed? Spit blood. Get stabbed? Spit blood. It's always good!

Okay I think that might be all I've got for now, if I think of anything else I'll add them in a reblog. I thoroughly enjoyed it, would definitely recommend!

[idleglowingpixels]

I was rewatching Monster High: The Movie (2022) cause the sequel's coming out next week and upon rewatch, the fucking signs that Komos was actually Hyde's son not from the writing but from the COSTUME DESIGN for him was so striking to me that I'm pissed I didn't realize sooner.

Not only does he have the glasses, sideswept bangs and general human appearance of Jackson (minus the horns, I think in this universe Komos's mom was like a centaur or something, would explain why he's still so human-looking besides the horns), but there's nods to Jackson and Holt specifically all throughout his outfits in the movie.

(Also for the sake of ease I'm referring to the teacher as Komos cause typing Hyde Jr. or something constantly is gonna drive me nuts)

First, there's his main outfit which we see across the film as well as in promotional images, and YOU CANNOT FUCKING TELL ME the posing for his promo pic wasn't an intentional nod to Jackson LIKE LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!

The main thing that strikes me is the inversion of the yellow/gold and blue with Komos's tie and shirt, also the fact the colors are significantly desaturated in comparison to Jackson's flashy yellow and blue. My interpretation of this is that it's representative of the bad-guy/villainous interpretation Komos represents, in comparison to Jackson/Holt which seem to be a rare good-guy/positive interpretation of Jekyll and Hyde. It's like, yes this is the Jekyll/Hyde guy of this gen, his outfits are nods to G1 but is otherwise an entirely different character than Jackson/Holt. Which I mean, I do respect the writers for not having Komos be this gen's Holt Hyde and just as "Hyde's son," I feel like separating the two (three??) characters is and was the best decision. Just two different interpretations of the "descendant of Jekyll and Hyde" thing.

Another part of the decision to go with Jackson's more traditionally nerdy or professional type of fashion style is interesting to me. Komos does not want to be perceived as his Jekyll half, he wants to just be Hyde, hence why he refers to himself as Hyde's son not Jekyll and Hyde's son. And yet, it's like he can't deny his human Jekyll side. To be honest Jekyll's only referenced a few times in the movie (which okay, Hyde's the monster half, I get that, but you'd think he'd be a little more important yeah??) so it makes sense they're focusing on Hyde more but I did find it an interesting decision.

Next there's THIS OUTFIT which on rewatch made me audibly point like that soyjak meme like "THAT'S A REFERENCE TO JACKSON AND HOLT CAUSE OF THE YIN YANG DUAL COLOR SHIT"

Red and blue are mainly Holt's colors, but Holt's signature outfit's shirt is also dual-toned, split through the middle.

It's just with Komos, there's less of an emphasis on the yin-yang thing Jackson & Holt had in their interpretation of Jekyll & Hyde -- he's unbalanced in comparison to them -- hence it's not a black and white cardigan. Also, THE BOWTIE! Can't get more obvious with the Jackson nods than that.

There's also this outfit I wanted to mention, the one he wears during the Founders' dinner toward the end of the movie. Notice It's fully red-toned, where his initial outfit was mainly blue-toned, and the cardigan showed the transition between. It's like at first, he's studious and mellow-natured with a bit of flare but nothing too crazy -- Jekyll. Then when he's wearing the cardigan, he asks Clawdeen about her research, almost insisting she provide him the information she's gathered because of his desperation to lose the duality going on with him. And finally, at the end, he takes the potion his father made, fully embracing Hyde and abandoning Jekyll once and for all.

---

That's pretty much all I wanted to mention regarding the outfits, but I remember when I first watched the movie, I was severely disappointed that Jackson/Holt were basically confirmed to not be making a return in this generation (or at least in the live-action films but I imagine it'd be pretty confusing to have two characters represent the same specific monster character in the same gen). They were a really underutilized character concept outside of Ghouls Rule, and I feel like especially with Clawdeen being half human in this version that they could've been friends or something!

Maybe Jackson/Holt could've served as the antagonist of the film in Komos's position, but not out of malice, moreso misguidance. Holt was kinda hinted at in his diaries to have depressive symptoms, it would've been interesting to explore that with how he might have low self-esteem because of his half-human-ness. Also, apparently Deuce in G1/G2 was half human too? Why did they get rid of that this gen??? I don't know why they keep shifting representation around at times.

Questionable decision making aside, I actually did enjoy this movie a lot. From an objective standpoint it's a DCOM-quality movie with average writing (except Frankie bro they were funny as hell in this movie), slightly more fashionable outfits than DCOMs, and a basic self-acceptance plot. There's several movies, including one or two in G1, with similar but better-executed writing and storytelling and similar themes. But DAMMIT I can't get enough of this movie when I see it. It's a comfort movie. :'D

I could go ON about the Jackson/Holt erasure all throughout this movie, especially with the rumors it was based off an abandoned movie concept for the two back in G1, but this post is too long already and I've distracted myself from my work enough. :'D If anyone on this side of Tumblr wants to hear that ramble, I shall ramble about it another day.

Also, HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH!!! My Monster High AU is beginning this month with the main 5 ghouls' designs as well as a one-shot I've written. Maybe stick around for that if you want to idk! :D

[dearcat1]

(Carelessness)

Part 5 of Sass and Squirrels

Xanxus comes back to the ruckus of his brother screaming his lungs out. He sighs, fishing out his keys. It's a good thing that he took over the new school too; otherwise Nana's forgetfulness would have Xanxus spending far too much time in that building. As it is, he's got a feeling that whatever he finds inside is going to piss him the fuck off. He's so sure of it, in fact, that he's already a little pissed, in preparation. The door opens to reveal nothing. The living room looks like it should, as does the kitchen. Xanxus hoists his backpack, fingers tight around the rough fabric. "Mama?"

There is no way.

Almost reluctantly Xanxus walks up the stairs and to his brother's room. Tsunayoshi is screaming so hard it looks like he might throw up, hands clenched into fists and face scrunched up with the effort. Xanxus drops his bag by the wall. "MAMA?"

He leaves his brother where he is, rushing down the stairs because something had to had happened. There is no way. Nana is a little scatterbrained, not the best mother around by any means but she isn't this careless. And yet, almost mockingly, the answer stares back at him. There's an innocent-looking small note stuck to the fridge, Nana's writing cheerfully signed with her name and a drawn heart. Went out for tea, it says. Like it's an acceptable thing to do. Like she didn't leave a baby all by himself for who knows how long. For the first time since Xanxus woke up in this new life, fury consumes him. He doesn't care about the scorch marks he leaves on the counter, his fingertips melted into the fridge. No, he stalks back upstairs, barges into his mother's room and starts breaking anything he can get his hands on.

There's something incredibly satisfying about hearing shit break and yet something heartbreaking about finally stopping, fingers bleeding sluggishly and tears falling down his cheeks, surrounded by the destruction. He breathes harshly, chest raising and falling in sharp, jerky movements. Xanxus thinks he might hate her, but he hates more that the thought hurts. At least her room looks as it should now, he thinks, drawing himself up. Tsunayoshi is still crying, so Xanxus turns around, closing the door behind him.

The way back to Tsunayoshi's room is both purposeful and a little too mechanical. Xanxus forces his mind to stay where it needs to be, this he can fix. The rest can come later.

"Come on," Xanxus grunts, grabbing his brother out of his bassinet. Unlike Nana's room, this one is still pristine. A few reddish marks where Xanxus's bloody fingers grabbed at something but otherwise just fine. "Come on," he repeats, not bothered by Tsunayoshi screaming in his ear. He's just being loud for both of them, after all. "Diaper change," he decides because Tsunayoshi stinks. "And then food."

Afterwards, they can hug on the couch and cry a little bit. Just a little.

"You're miserable," Xanxus hums, "I'm miserable." Misery all around.

Never again.

It'll probably strain his tenuous control of the school a little but… Fuck it. Whoever Sawada used to be, he's Xanxus's little brother now. And he doesn't deserve to be left behind just like that. Abandoned so that their mother can go out and enjoy the weather or something. If he thinks too much about it he'll get mad again so he pushes that thought away, focusing on the warm weight in his arms. "We've got this, fuck Nana." He stops, fingers tight on the bathroom's knob. "You can say it too," he allows. "I won't be mad."

Tsunayoshi gurgles something back.

Xanxus assumes it's appropriately demeaning. "Exactly."

"Who needs mothers anyway?" Xanxus announces, both of them are more relaxed after the bath.

His little brother smiles at him instead of answering, bright eyes peeking up at him from under the hooded towel.

This time Xanxus's flames didn't come out of impotence and fury, fear and a desperate need to stay alive. This time, his flames came out of indignation, out of worry for a brother who wasn't his before but is his now.

When Nana comes back, she assumes some sort of freak fire accident happened in her room. Xanxus doesn't tell her otherwise and grits his teeth while she lectures him about being more careful. He doesn't pull his hands away when she cares for his wounds, doesn't even protest the stupid little nickname or the kiss on his brow. But he doesn't stop frowning either. And if a part of him wonders if this is why past Sawada didn't even bother speaking up? Well, that's only for him to know.

[ruvviks]

hiii bones i desperately need to know more about the time seb and cassidy got chased by the NCPD and then hit by a car in front of the hospital i'm sorry i ended up getting obsessed with a small detail

HIII RENA THANK YOU SO MUCH it's honestly one of my favorite encounters of them all 😭 for context, there's a total of 28 encounters between january 2077 and december 2077; this encounter is the 13th encounter and it happens in the end of june 2077 (which, if you're interested, lines up with the in-game events in my canon with vincent and would happen around the same time of the parade; so while all of that serious business is going on you got these two clowns getting hit by a car SBHGFDJGDFJGD)

basically what happens is that for once, cassidy is not out to kill seb; he's having a moment in a bar and seb happens to show up at the exact same place, then believes that cassidy did in fact show up there to kill him (which usually is indeed the case) and this prompts a fight between the two which ends up escalating rather quickly into a full-blown bar fight. fun!

that is until the ncpd shows up and starts to arrest people left and right but naturally so, since this is night city, the cops end up getting dragged into the bar fight as well. at some point seb and cassidy manage to stumble out of the bar (well. one of them gets flung through the window and the other stumbles out of the bar) and one of the few still standing cops in the midst of the chaos and panic ends up arresting them?? sort of??? but also needs to call for reinforcements and he ends up just. handcuffing them together. oops

and then they need to run the fuck away from the cops because cassidy is wanted dead or alive by maxtac and kang tao and lowkey militech as well and seb is wanted very much dead by arasaka so if either of them were to get captured by the ncpd they'd be in a bit of a pickle. a big one

so! cue to a chase scene through night city (i feel like it's important to mention once more that seb is 1.99m tall with silvery gray hair that stands out in a crowd and cassidy is 2.01m tall with peach pink hair that. you guessed it. stands out in a crowd) in which they're mostly trying to outrun several ncpd vehicles but also around every corner they try to kill each other. while still being handcuffed together. on more than one occasion they would also end up falling into each other's arms and touching hands and all the other gay shit you'd expect from me and andy in our writing but that's not important right now

the chase ends pretty abruptly when they've managed to outrun the ncpd but they're still trying to fuck each other up which results in them running into traffic and then getting hit by a fucking car right at the entrance of the hospital =D obviously the driver is very worried and checks them in at the hospital so they can get looked at. they're still handcuffed together. no one questions it it's night city. they're now stuck in a waiting room for about 45 minutes with crying children, arguing couples, staring elderly people, etc etc, WHILE handcuffed to their arch nemesis. and they can't even kill each other about it

as funny as this whole idea is, the scene ends with them outside the hospital and amanda (seb's best friend and another member of the cobras, his gang) unlocks the handcuffs for them. and cassidy makes eye contact with seb very briefly. and then starts walking backwards and quickly turns around and leaves. and that's where it ends

because despite the fact that yes he does really need to kill this man, at that point it's become much more than just that contract that he signed with his mysterious client. with both seb and cassidy the other is fascinating to them and it's kind of become a game; they're each other's equal in combat which has RARELY happened before, it's kind of like enrichment?? obviously it's also infuriating and they're both going insane but at the same time it would by then have become something that they both rely on. creating intricate rituals to be close to another man etc etc

it's kind of like. violence as a love language honestly. like knowing what the future holds for them and all this is just. slowly but surely transforming into something entirely else than just two guys trying to kill each other because they both know that it's never gonna happen. they know the other isn't gonna kill them and they know they'll never be able to kill the other so really what does that all mean then? what's left? they could easily stop but that would mean they won't ever see each other again because well they're enemies. they can't suddenly become friends. they're both just kind of. waiting i guess?? to see where it goes. because maybe one day things will be different... not that they would ever admit to anyone let alone themselves that they would like for things to be different but like. it's about the subconscious yearning of it all. do you see the vision

anyway this got very long but i could've gone on for longer because. as you could probably guess. andy and i wrote out shit like this for every single encounter SBHGJMKFDGBFDJGKDF and then!!!! we have entire LISTS of jobs and targets for the later eras (this here is what we call killing era on account of the. well. there's a significant lack of killing but it's about the attempts i guess) with again. so much detail. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH WE HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

[askyourwritergrandma]

Hello there. I have a bit of a difficult question in the sense that I don't know who to ask about it. You seemed to be arguably the wisest source to consult on the matter, so I'm taking a chance.

I had an idea for a fic that I wanted to write and I was actually in the process of writing it for a bit. It was for a small fandom event in which I signed up for. I was almost done with it and was in the finishing stages of them when I was obstructed by people and circumstances that really ought not to have ever been and as such, I was never able to fully publish it. Ever since then, I have resented the people who did this as I not only failed to deliver the final product I was supposed to, but I also looked like a fool. I hated everyone and myself for this entire thing as this is not the first time I had been stopped from doing something that I chose outside of everyone else's jurisdiction. To an effect, I still do.

As a more notable effect, looking at the document in which all of my hard work sat made me physically ill and enraged. I had also stopped writing completely because of how strongly I felt (and still feel) about this entire situation. Soon after the fact, I also essentially erased myself from the online space for a month because I didn't want anyone to question nor point out that I hadn't done it as I did not want to explain why and doing so would have me spiral out of control and simply delete my social media as I would not be able to live with it. I have only come back recently because I was sick of being socially isolated and alone. You would think that this would be the end of it, but there's one thing that for some reason sticks around.

I still want to write this story.

Yes, I know I essentially left them high and dry but this premise and what I had been working on captivated me to such a degree that I'm still thinking about it when my mind wanders on its own. But I still get sick thinking about my circumstances that I can't change nor budge and as such, I still can't stand looking at the document nor the outline. I desperately want to get to work on it again, but there's so much negative emotional attachment to it that I can't bring myself to do it because I wonder why I ever bothered with it in the first place if everyone and everything in my life keeps stopping me from doing it.

I've tried to write other things in the meantime, but they too are suppressed as I am constantly reminded of my failure and my circumstances that are not only unfair but ridiculous as this is the only outlet I really have and to see it limited to such a degree is sickening and still makes my blood boil.

I love writing things and I love exploring these things, but I don't even know how to do it when all of it is accompanied by rage, despair, inferiority, and pure unadulterated hatred directed at myself as well as others.

So I suppose that my question really is this:

How do I bring myself to write when my entire being hates me for even trying, knowing that I'll never finish what I start because something will stop me?

Oh friend, this is just some shit right here.

Ok so important disclaimer is that I am not a mental health professional. Anything I say is based on personal experience or accumulated knowledge from the internet.

Its important that you know, and really properly internalize, that you did not fail. In fact my first thing directly related to writing that I would advise you to do, when you start to feel this way, is to say 'I did not fail' to yourself. Sometimes things happen that can't control and they affect us in very serious ways that takes time to get over.

Certainly it sounds like what you were working on was important to you and the circumstances that interrupted it were very upsetting. There's no surprise that your story has becoming a focal point for those feelings. Untangling how they are connected is something that you can only do with time and trying.

If you have a safe place where you can externalize those feelings, either through talking to someone, keeping a journal or writing the events but fictionalized I would suggest those things. Sometimes just being able to put it all out there and know that its safe helps you move on from it.

As far as people on the internet questioning you about where you've been, I can't say that wouldn't have happened or that it won't happen in the future, but as a general rule good, decent people extend you grace. Everyone has a life outside of this anonymous mosh pit we call the internet and most people are capable of understanding that. You don't need to compound these feelings of failure with any additional shame from anonymous strangers. Would they have loved to read your story? Yes of course they would have. If you were to finish it they would still want to read it. But they aren't angry or upset with you.

As you try to write, remind yourself that you have not failed. Imagine yourself as a professional athlete who has suffered a serious knee injury. You had to take time away but you're back on your feet now and you're working towards getting back on the field. Every time you sit and try to write, remind yourself that you have no failed, that you are recovering and that you will get better. Writing will get easier.

Send me as many asks as you want, if they help, I'll do my best to answer them promptly.

Good luck anon and take care of yourself.

[the-music-maniac]

It is so rare for me to genuinely enjoy the way a cdrama straight romance is being written, so I'm holding onto these two and never letting go - y'all I'm only on episode 9 rn and I'm writing this based on what I've seen of 9 episodes but if Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu don't get a happy ending I will actually be SO fucking upset.

And I've been sitting here and thinking about why these two hit so different for me, when I've sat through countless other heterosexual cdramas with my mom and have been unable to get invested in any of them (I got invested in danmei shows but never straight romances purely because of the way they were written) and I have a couple reasons. And because this show has eaten my brain I'm gonna talk about it and write a fucking love letter to the one show that has made me FEEL SOMETHING ABOUT THE MAIN COUPLE SINCE FOREVER.

1. This is a legitimate enemies to lovers plotline:

Like I've noticed with cdramas that are not danmei - when they write "enemies to lovers"? It's never legitimately enemies to lovers. Either the reason for being enemies is really shallow and easily solved, or only one side hates the other, or - my least favourite - they start off as genuinely enemies for a legit reason but then the guy falls in love super damn quickly at the first sign of the girl being nice and the rest of the drama is spent with the guy desperately chasing the girl while the girl is ambiguous to him before slowly falling in love. Hah? Ey why did he fall in love so quickly, huh? I thought the reasons he hated her were real and legitimate (I'm looking at you Romance of Tiger and Rose)?

This drama is genuinely attempting an enemies to lovers relationship. Like Ye Xiwu has a super legit reason to despise Tantai Jin and the same vice versa. Ye Xiwu knows Tantai Jin kills all the people she loves in the future - and yet this man is not quite that person yet, hasn't done much wrong at this point. And meanwhile Tantai Jin knows Ye Xiwu as just another one of his abusers, one he's married to - but little does he know that this Ye Xiwu isn't that person anymore. Basically, they have legitimate dislike for each other in the beginning. They don't fall in love at the first sign of the other person being not like they thought they were - as they SHOULDN'T, it wouldn't make sense. Instead they're slowly getting to know each other. And they repeatedly look out for each other in the beginning but it's clear that the motivation is not love. And even as we go, you can see that they're starting to realize that the other person might be someone worth knowing but they still don't TRUST each other. And fuck that slow burn is SO GOOD and is what's missing in so many cdramas. Even when Ye Xiwu makes up that excuse for why she keeps saving Tantai Jin, that she "likes him" - you can see that Tantai Jin is taken aback in a good way but still doesn't trust it. And meanwhile Ye Xiwu is fully aware of her real goal. Like that?? That's my fucking shit. It doesn't make sense for them to trust each other that quickly and the slow development of it is what I live for.

2. Minimal fanservice scenes that make no sense - maximal scenes that progress the relationship.

I'm gonna use the scene in episode 3 as an example - that moment when Ye Xiwu touches the flowers and gets blasted in the face with the powder and Tantai Jin runs forward to steady her. They were standing next to each other, so the show totally could've gotten away with one of them landing on the other, and another fanservice cdrama would have done that and used it as a way for them to wake up in a romantic situation. But no, in this one they someone landed APART despite the fact that one of them had his arms around the other, and the resulting camera shot was sO DAMN COOL. And the moment when Ye Xiwu fell back, it wasn't some dramatic swooning into Tantai Jin's arms. And then they both faceplanted. We love gender equality LMAO. But that's what I'm talking about, this show knows to pick it's moments. It's aware that now is not the time for a scene like that, and the lack of jarring fanservice scenes that don't fit with the vibe and tension of the moment is so refreshing. And the short fanservice romantic moments that do happen?? Goosebumps. Like for example when the flower demon realized Ye Xiwu was trying to rescue Tantai Jin and said "together then" and pulled Ye Xiwu up into the swirling thing - and they were face to face with the soundtrack swelling. Short and sweet, and both of them look suitably surprised - y'all I loved it.

3. The respect this show affords the female characters.

This shouldn't be a rare thing. IT REALLY SHOULDN'T. But the amount of cdramas where the main female lead acts all dumb and cute to endear herself to the "bad boy" male lead, and y'know what I shouldn't say act because half the time the female lead is GENUINELY DUMB - and keeps getting into deep shit so the man has to go rescue her.

Or THE ONE I HATE THE MOST, the main female lead is a competent, intelligent character that's super powerful, and then somehow loses all her braincells and ability the minute she meets the male lead because the plot needs a way for the male lead to repeatedly save her as a romantic trope. The shows that think that they can't write a romance when the female lead is on equal or higher standing then the male lead in terms of skill or intelligence. Leave. Leave immediately.

This show?? Nah. No Ye Xiwu is just as smart as she was at the beginning of the show, and even though her magic is greatly diminished she's still able to strategize and use it effectively. She's a match for Tantai Jin in terms of intelligence and ability and WHY IS THAT SO RARE TO SEE IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR. And just - this is such a small nitpicky detail but the way Ye Xiwu doesn't shy away from nudity or the implication of taking off clothes - WHICH MAKES SENSE CAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY A DEITY like WHY would she be worried about shit like that? The amount of times I've seen female characters who really shouldn't be iffy about nudity shriek and yell when that stuff comes up *screams in frustration*. No but fuck I love Ye Xiwu so much, Tantai Jin went "you wanna search me? Why not get me to take off all my clothes" expecting her to chicken out and this queen looked him dead in the eyeballs and went "do you think that's a hardship" and then sat down on the bed and waited like "bet". AMAZING.

Not only that, the other female characters are afforded a lot of that same respect in the way they're written - the female assistant isn't treated as dumb comedic relief, the kind sister isn't treated as frail even though her initial scenes was about her getting sick from falling in a lake - honestly so far, up to the amount of episodes I've seen there isn't a single female character that's airheaded in that cutesy way I absolutely hate. They're different personalities, different ability levels, different intelligence levels but they're all afforded the same amount of agency as any male character in the show. And fuck, the scene in the flashback with Tantai Jin's mother? First off, I'm weary anytime they touch on tribal stuff in cdramas because sometimes it's some racist bullshit about them being brutes blah blah blah, but while I don't know if this show was accurate in the clothing or demeanor, they depict them in a very positive way - two, there's something so powerful and freeing about seeing her stride down that aisle on her own, head held high, raising her arms up to greet the emperor. They're meeting on equal terms. It was beautifully done. Basically I'm in love with the way they wrote these female characters.

4. The romantic tropes that do occur don't shove gender roles down my throat.

I feel like this is self explanatory, but one thing I've noticed is that cdrama romantic tropes seem to enforce gender roles, to the point where it no longer makes sense in the plot. Like oh this girl is super powerful? Irrelevant she still has to swoon into the man's arms. Man is the breadwinner, is the protective one, the one who gets jealous. Woman is the mediator, is the kind one, the one to be admired for beauty. I am tired. I'm BORED actually? Like I have nothing against people liking those tropes because yeah, they exist for a reason people obviously like them and it's so valid. It's not like I don't get the appeal of swooning into your partners arms. But if it's the ONLY THING you ever see? If the tropes start piling up so that the female character can only ever be soft and feminine and the male character can only ever be strong and masculine, I stop seeing them as individuals, as characters. They're now a caricature of what society thinks men and women should be. They stop having a face. And once they cease being individual characters in my mind, I lose interest.

I like the way this show handles the romantic tropes, because at the beginning it really doesn't make sense for Ye Xiwu to need saving - she's in a safe home and she has more power then Tantai Jin in terms of social standing - and even if she did need saving Tantai Jin for sure wouldn't do it LMAO AS WE SEE WITH THE LAKE THING PFFT 🤣🤣

No but because it doesn't make sense for plot - Tantai Jin is the one being repeatedly rescued even though it's not a role the male lead usually takes in these tropes. And Ye Xiwu does it in a very "swooping in like a cool male lead" type of way. Like when she shoved her brother back after he slashed Tantai Jin's robes? Damn. I'm so gay wtf. Also buying new robes for Tantai Jin *cough* sugar daddy *cough*.

And meanwhile Tantai Jin is allowed to be withdrawn and soft and quiet and still vicious and super competent but in a sassy, bitchy way. My god I love him. He's my babygirl. His little smirk after he roasts someone. I'm so bisexual actually, fuck. Both of them can just step on me But basically neither of them are 100% one or the other - not 100% masculine or feminine gender roles, it's a changing dynamic and it makes them seem like real people.

????. What number is this??? Uh

5. I think. I'm not gonna scroll up. Anyways um.

The SHOTS. The SOUNDTRACK. The CINEMATOGRAPHY.

Beyond the fact that the CGI in this show actually looks passable cause i'm sure they had a bigger budget then some danmei shows i've seen, but HOW did they inject so much bittersweet nostalgia and loss into the flashback wedding scene? That moment when Ye Xiwu runs for Tantai Jin with a sword in hand to kill the birds, her robes flowing out behind her? The demon's garden??? Tantai Jin's bitchy glittery sparkly murder hanfu??? The winter scenery, the winter cloaks, i'm just. THE HIGH PONYTAILS. MAN ARE THEY INCONVENIENT WHEN THEY SWISH AROUND BUT I STILL LOVE THEM.

Also Ye Xiwu's headdress is beautiful and fully INDESTRUCTIBLE 🤣🤣 and I love it.

I, no joke, rewatched that flashback wedding scene no less then seven times, cause I just find it that well done.

Anyways I don't have much to say here everything is just gorgeous.

6. NO FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLES (SO FAR)

Let's hope it stays that way. That is all

This is getting way too long so Imma end it here. Thanks for reading!

[mikittalabs]

in a mood right now and i've been playing fire emblem again, recipe for disaster so let's just get on with this post.

anyway it feels like every time an fe fan mentions liking something about engage, it's in spite of it. there's always a "but" tacked on. like you can't really like engage, alear's hair is red and blue and isn't that so dumb!

and i get it, engage is tonally light. it's not about poorly written politics like 3h is. it's great that 3h has a sad line from dorothea a few dozen times and that characters love to talk about how much war sucks every 10 minutes.

it's weird and annoying. every criticism of 3h is fought back against because actually you just missed this single piece of lore from a random npc in ch6 you fucking nincompoop. did you even play the game? the fact every character loves to exposit information at you is actually a good thing and a sign of good writing and doesn't completely muddy up the experience.

meanwhile you have to prove that you actually like engage. and yea. i love engage. i think it's great. i'm gonna talk about things i like because i think the game is good. there is no "but" here.

think a perfect example of this whole "in spite of" thing is yunaka. that's not to say i don't like her, i think she's great, too, but she's also the character who angsts the most out of the cast. her ass is not slick when it comes to hiding her backstory.

naturally, the fandom likes her in spite of engage. like i'm sorry that hortensia is so offputting that you completely missed her story about abusive families and desperately reaching out for something that you can't go back to, and might not have existed in the first place. it's so sucks that celine talked about tea in the 2 supports of hers you got. it sure would be a shame if she's hiding some odd feelings of resentment towards alfred or her cruel tendencies.

sorry guys, supports can't have subtext. if your characters aren't saying exactly what they feel and exactly why all of the time, then it's bad writing. actually subtext is just bad. exposition dumps are where it's at! i loved that part where rhea looked at the camera at the end of verdant wind and told us the entire history of fodlan. or like, the majority of 3h supports.

i forget if i ever posted it but i called 3h characters a vehicle for more lore, and i think i was kinda on to something. engage has a lot of silly supports where characters are just goofing around, but they were never used for more lore in the way 3h uses its cast.

3h supports typically involve someone just telling the other their entire backstory and i'm not about to argue that it isn't giving you more information on a character. in an extremely physical manner, it is. but it's obnoxious. it's an extremely unsubtle way to get across information.

in a very literal manner, you, as the player, are learning about this character. things have in fact happened to them, but i think the crucial difference lies in how this doesn't usually tell you anything about the character as a person. you can draw connections between how they act and their backstory, sure, but what does that actually say about them?

sylvain acts like that because his family fucking sucks. this is true, but he's still acting like a fucking cunt. i understand that crests are so highly valuable in fodlan society that he was objectified and reduced to the fact he had a crest. he says that himself in his support with mercedes. it does not change the fact that he is still a piece of shit to women. contrary to popular belief, i don't think the fact that he's nice to annette changes that fact. also like, mercedes's own backstory is completely glossed over in that support, but that's another conversation for another time.

contrast that with pandreo. he's a silly goofy party guy. there can't be any depth to him because this is engage. except you read his supports and realize he's a deeply faithful man. he found faith when his parents were being The Worst and he parties because it's how he expresses his faith. perhaps you're initial perceptions of a character are not always correct. something you would think fe fans would know considering sylvain has supports where the support partner says something to that effect.

ok i'm starting to get a headache so i'm just calling it here. see you all in hell or however people end these long posts

[pan-magi]

On one hand, I hate that I'm making a vent post on this fandom blog. On the other hand, I am really annoyed and in a bad mood for unrelated reasons so I'm going to do it anyway.

I want to murder and destroy all the porn bots clogging the magi tags. It's infuriating.

"Because you follow #magi

*porn bot post*"

No, no, no. GO TO HELL.

Magi is already a small fandom. A lot of religious and spiritual blogs also use it. Even if they don't tags things with magi exclusively, I get a lot of Madoka Magica blogs recommended to me because of the series' full name (Puella Magi Madoka Magica). Nothing against them, of course, love existential magical girls. Point being I can bet none of us give a fucking shit. Leave our small tag alone!

I could just not visit the your tags page but the "because you follow x" posts pop up on home and following regardless. And I like checking in on random tags sometimes. It helps to not miss posts from people who simply have Magi as their anime of the week or whatever.

I do hate just to make this a vent post, so I'll add some anecdotal Magi stuff that I've already been thinking to make a shit post about. Unfortunately, I have not had anymore fandom related dreams. *

I will blab about the screenshot I chose for this though. I lowkey adore that scene. Morgiana just casually kidnapping her friend, so they can talk it out. (For reference, it's when she meets Alibaba in the Fog Troupe hideout and then just picks him up and leaves).

The funny thing is, they're not really friends at this point? Out of the trio and their relationships so far, Alibaba and Morgiana haven't had much time together. Morg is grateful that Alibaba freed her, yet I'll say they both are better friends with Aladdin right now.

Morgiana does bring this up. Her reasoning for taking Alibaba is so that he can talk to Aladdin and they can sort out their shit. She could see that the kid from Alibaba giving him the cold shoulder and is like "no." It's heartwarming. It's not something I'll recommend, sometimes people need space from each other and kidnapping is bad, still though- I love it lmao.

Best trio, ngl.

*I have since had a sorta Magi related dream since first writing this about a week ago. In it I met Ohtaka, except I've only ever looked at a few pictures of her before and know for a fact that how she looked in the dream isn't how she is irl. Maybe that's why it took me forever to recognize her. The first half was us basically meeting and talking about trivial stuff, not Magi or Orient because of not recognizing her, and the second half was me realizing my missed opportunity of fangirling and trying to find her again when she was not busy to get one of my volumes of Magi signed. Not in a desperate way but more of "ahhh, I'm so dumb and missed my chance. Bummer." I was way more melancholic about it compared to if I ever had the opportunity in real life. As if I knew it was a dream and not get too worked up about it.

My dreams are a lot more convoluted and trippy but that is the gist of the Magi related portion of the dream. The rest is irrelevant for this. Don't remember too much of it anyway.

That's all I have. This turned out long and I may trim it up. I feel better after typing it. That is what matters.

Fuck porn bots and may this small fandom prosper without them.

[mehoymalloy]

also, 26 + 28 for Silga & Untalla (could be each for both or just one abt the other, whichever you feel like)

I'm desperate for more beloved blorbo thoughts. you cursed me and now I suffer, so I must turn the blade back on you.... that sounded far more theatrical than just 'I miss them', sorry.

26. What they would do if stuck in an elevator with [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

Congrats lucky winner! You get two headcanons for the price of one! As you know, I headcanon that Untalla is scared of deep water, but that also extends to cramped and enclosed spaces in a general sense. Add onto that that her stress response is basically 'stab the stressor til it stops being scary' and she will be climbing the walls trying to find a way out. Like they're going to have a reverse climbing the cliffside moment of Silga using her superior upper body strength to pull Untalla into a bear hug and just refusing to let go until Untalla manages to calm herself down (which she will manage to do relatively quickly, and then be so fucking embarrassed about it afterwards. Not to mention confused because if tight spaces bother her then why the hell doesn't being held tightly and restrained also?? Because it's a fucking hug, stupid, and you are platonically down bad specifically for Silga, it should not surprise you at this point that she's the exception for a lot of your rules.)

Silga, meanwhile, is like 'well shit' and goes into Get Shit Done mode, methodically tackling the problem until it's fixed if possible, periodically pausing to not-so-subtly check in on Untalla and giving her menial tasks to help keep her occupied and distracted.

28. How they feel about [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

THEY ARE SOME FORM OF SOULMATES, YOUR HONOR.

Silga looks up to Untalla so much; she sees her as so strong and and put-together after everything she's been through, but with that said, she loves seeing Untalla's quieter, more whimsical moments of joy when discovering or trying something new, rather that be Old World knowledge or cultural exposure to other clans.

Untalla would kill without hesitation and with a straight face for Silga. Dramatic, I know, but she takes the good old "your enemy is mine" saying that the Tenakth have so seriously it's a little scary. And even knowing Silga is a grown woman who can protect herself, after everything they went through, Untalla will always have an especially alert but not stifling protective streak for Silga. She also just plain adores the girl. She's smart and capable and a little annoying and the bestest friend she's ever had (Granted she will never say any of this, and any outward sign of these feelings is so fucking subtle, she's too stoic for any emotion that isn't anger lol).

-

And because you made me think about them, I went back digging through my Google Docs to find an old WIP. You can see how old this is based on the fact that 1) I've been using Obsidian as my primary writing program for a year now (I should really transfer all this stuff over, huh...) and 2) I used "</>" as my editing brackets, which ended up being inconvenient because TTS reads them aloud.

ANYWAY, have some hurt/comfort because I MISS THEMB NOW TOO, FUCK.

~

Untalla lied in silence, hesitantly running through half-memorized movements, looking for a specific holo she had seen. Not the stylized colors and depictions of the Ten, but real people. Silga had skimmed past it earlier while looking for something else to show her, and Untalla hadn't wanted to ask her to pause. It wasn't that important. But she wanted to see.

So once Silga had fallen asleep, Untalla had carefully picked up her Focus. Untalla had her own, so the holo was likely on there somewhere, but Silga was very meticulous about organization, and Untalla had memorized the shapes that went with familiar sounds, groupings based on category.

FARO PLAGUE

OPERATION ENDURING VICTORY

PROJECT ZERO DAWN

TEN (<insert war name>)

These were only the ones Untalla knew intimately, consumed in a heavy and silent session with Silga, both sitting up late into the night, learning to understand. Sleeping fitfully only to wake up and do it all again. 

But there was a holo in the wrong place, which Silga had played in confusion only to immediately pause and move to somewhere else, 'MISC.'

When Untalla found it, she hesitated. Then she lifted her hand that extra inch upward, watching the light move as if she physically pushed a button though she felt nothing at her fingertips. And the holo played.

<WHAT WILL THE HOLO BE?>

<WHAT WILL THE MEMORY BE?>

Untalla watched until her vision grew blurry, blinked rapidly when it disturbed her, only for something warm to trickle down her temple. It was only once Untalla realized she was crying that her breathing abruptly hitched. Her chest spasmed. Fingers shook as she abruptly reached for the Focus on her ear, her first instinct to stop it from the source rather than press one of the lights projected over her head.

But she pressed the wrong thing. As her fingers fumbled for the relic, the sound suddenly changed. What was initially a tinny little voice in her ear, suddenly became loud, filling the tiny space of their shared home. Untalla couldn't even curse herself before Silga had bolted upright, whipping her head around wildly before landing on her, startled fear immediately melting into confused concern.

"I'm sorry," Untalla gritted out as she sat up as well, still fumbling with the relic at her ear. "I wanted to shut it off but I somehow made it louder and–"

Right as Untalla resolved to rip it away and shove it into Silga's hands, Silga reached out, fingers just skimming Untalla's temple before touching something on the Focus, then the sound was back to the quiet din in her ear, and she reached out with a pathetically shaky hand to pause the holo correctly.

The silence felt stifling in a way it hadn't since Aloy first gave them these relics, since they learned everything. Untalla stared at a <something about the house or wherever (like peeling strip of wood)> as she said, "There was a holo I wanted to see. I'm sorry I used your Focus, I wasn't sure how to find it on my own." When she handed Silga the Focus, she couldn't meet her eyes.

Silga took it gently, placed it back on her bedside table before turning to Untalla again. Untalla could see her facing her in her periphery, though she kept her gaze trained away.

"You're crying," Silga whispered, and damn if the softness in her voice didn't make Untalla cry more. Untalla swiped below her eyes, scrubbing her face roughly before taking a deep breath, face still hidden in her hands. When she dropped her hands and turned her gaze on Silga—on a loose thread in her shirt. Her muttered "I'm fine" wouldn't fool <phrase.>

Untalla took another deep breath, tried to say it again, more assured, but her voice broke. "Damnit," she hissed.

Silga reached out and placed a hand on her knee. "Untalla, talk to me, please."

"It's this holo… it just…reminded me of my parents. I shouldn't have watched it."

Silga was silent for a long moment, before she asked "Do you mind if I watch it?"

"Of course not, it's your Focus."

Silga turned and abruptly lied back down. Untalla watched as her hands flew through the movements, much faster than her own. Then, she hesitated. When Untalla skirted her gaze up to Silga's she found her watching her. "Do you wanna watch it with me?"

"No." Untalla winced when her voice was too loud in the stillness—too harsh.

Then, contradicting herself, she lay back down beside Silga, scooting closer until their shoulders were almost but not quite brushing. Silga tapped something that projected all the lights again, and she apparently adjusted the sound, because when <what/whoever it is> began speaking, it was a soft drone in the night, something Untalla could almost fall asleep to. 

[captainhearteyepierce]

hey guys did you know that Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers is actually about post-war Hawkeye Pierce in Crabapple Cove trying to reconnect with Trapper. hear me out:

Walking Scott Street feeling like a stranger With an open heart, open container

So Hawkeye's back in Crabapple Cove, wanting desperately for his life to go back to normal now that the war is over. He's going for a walk through the familiar streets, bringing a drink along to ease his nerves, but the time he's been away is an almost tangible thing and the familiar place feels off now.

I've got a stack of mail and a tall can It's a shower beer, it's a payment plan

Maybe Hawkeye stops at the mailbox during his walk. Collecting his mail from the mailbox is such a mundane thing, a true sign that his life is in fact "back to normal", but despite this he still feels wrong, out of place. He turns again to drinking as a coping mechanism, just as he did in Korea. Even drinking in the shower. (Not good, Hawkeye!)

There's helicopters over my head Every night when I go to bed

This is perhaps my favourite line because of how fitting it is, and it is actually the line that planted this whole analysis in my head in the first place. Hawkeye is haunted by the war - hearing phantom choppers at night, unable to sleep thinking about the horrors he experienced in Korea. He's struggling to slip back into his old life, plagued by the effects of PTSD.

Spending money and I earned it When I'm lonely, that's when I'll burn it

Remember the episode where Hawk and the other surgeons complained about their pay, comparing it to doctors back home with cushy private practices who were making fortunes, and Hawk even tried to bill the army for $38,000 as compensation? Since Hawkeye's return to the states, he's been able to pick up his old job, now making the amount of money he believes he deserves, not to mention he's not performing meatball surgery under fire anymore - but he finds the money doesn't matter to him anymore, it doesn't mean anything. He's been too changed by the war, aged beyond his years and traumatized, and it makes him feel so alone and alienated from the world.

Do you feel ashamed When you hear my name?

His loneliness gets him thinking about his old friend Trapper. Trapper who carelessly left him without so much as a goodbye, never even writing a goddamn letter. Does he feel any remorse for what he did? Hawkeye wonders. Suddenly, all he wants is to try to reconnect with Trapper, fixating on getting back what they had at the beginning of the war.

(This is definitely some sort of coping mechanism of Hawkeye's, an attempt to bury the loneliness and to cease the sounds of war in his head.)

I asked you, "How is your sister? I heard she got her degree" And I said, "That makes me feel old" You said, "What does that make me?" I asked you, "How is playing drums?" You said, "It's too much shit to carry" "And what about the band?" You said, "They're all getting married"

This whole verse I've grouped together because it's not the individual lines that apply but rather the sentiment of the whole thing.

So Trapper comes to visit Hawkeye in Maine and they spend time talking, catching up, but it's clear that their time away from each other - Hawkeye in horrible Korea and Trapper cozy at home - has changed them and their relationship. Just like with Crabapple Cove, things feel different to Hawkeye, and the casual tone Trapper takes with it all in opposition to the sort of dread it leaves Hawkeye with leads me to this next line:

Do you feel ashamed When you hear my name?

This time, Hawkeye is repeating this in his head whilst talking to Trapper. As Trapper sits there talking about everything and nothing, Hawkeye wonders, Do you feel any remorse for what you did? Leaving me behind the way you did without so much as a goodbye? Looking into Trapper's eyes, Hawkeye thinks not. Trapper meant so much to him, and it hurt Hawkeye so much when he left, but here he sits, pretending nothing happened, like he didn't just leave Hawkeye in the dust.

The instrumental part that follows I like to think of as a sort of sad realization tinged with nostalgia, that yes, things have changed. The train and the bicycle bell are the comforting sounds of home, and yes, he's finally home! But you can't erase the things he's seen and done. This three year war has aged him a decade. The Crabapple Cove of his childhood is like a jigsaw puzzle that's missing one piece, and Hawkeye is that piece, except it's been stepped on and bent and creased and although it completes the puzzle, it doesn't quite fit anymore.

Anyway, don't be a stranger

(And finally, the line that makes me sob like a baby whenever I listen to this song, in any context!)

To me, this is sort of a continuation of the sad acceptance represented by the instrumentals, except as opposed to being centred around Hawkeye's home, it's more about Trapper. As they part ways once again, Hawkeye contemplates starting something, bringing up the elephant in the room, but he's done with anger, tired of fighting. He's had enough. So he resolves to accept the distance between him and his old friend and move on, with the hope that they will one day see each other again, maybe when the open wound that the war left has healed into a sort of jagged scar.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, hopefully it made a bit of sense as I sometimes am not very good at putting my thoughts into the right words, and I hope you enjoyed the angst! In all honesty I can't tell if post-war Hawkeye would actually decide to start something with Trapper or not about him leaving without a goodbye and not writing a single letter. I feel like Korea Hawkeye would for sure, because Korea Hawkeye was under so much stress and was angry at everyone for the war and it wouldn't take much for him to lash out about something, but we never get to see how Hawkeye is outside such tense circumstances so I'm not too sure. That being said, I really think the man would be too tired and strung out by the war to bother picking a fight and would just let it be.

All that being said, I really hope Hawkeye and Trapper are actually together somewhere drinking martinis and causing mischief because the thought of them not getting along drives me up the wall insane!!