#the doctor: “oh i used to be a caretaker ! i was great at it!”

[gallifvrey]

i feel like we were sort of robbed when it came to the doctor staying at donnas house. it cut - in my mind - very much to a few days/weeks/months past. but you know that it was a rough start. the doctor Cannot stand still and even if they know they should this time it mustve taken some real getting used to, similar to 11 in power of three

like, the doctors been moved in for one day and has already rewired their house. the toaster now sings as it toasts bread and also can be used as a metal detector. the fridge beeps when you take something out of it that it was saving for later. the doctors repainted the entire house a shade darker. they give him a spare room to stay in but no one in the house ever sees him sleep

[mj-iza-writer]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you who celebrate. To those who don't celebrate, I hope you all have a great day. To all of you, I wish you a Happy New Year.

Caretaker hummed while they sponge cleaned Whumpee.

Whumpee fogged the oxygen mask with small moans.

"I'm sorry Whumpee", Caretaker apologized, "I know you're so uncomfortable right now."

Whumpee squinted their eyes open and looked at Caretaker with sad eyes.

"You... shouldn't... be here. It's Christmas", Whumpee whispered so quietly Caretaker had to lean close, "party."

"I'm not worried about that Whumpee. I'm not leaving you alone for Christmas either", Caretaker gently brushed hair out of Whumpee's face, "the party will happen again next year. Hopefully, we will have some of this sickness figured out before then."

Whumpee fluttered their eyes closed for a moment before looking at Caretaker again.

"My lips are dry", Whumpee whispered sadly.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I can't put anything on them because of the oxygen mask", Caretaker reached for a cup of water, "here take a drink and let your lips get some water."

Caretaker gently lifted the mask and offered the drink.

Whumpee winced as they laid back down.

"I feel bad that you had to get sick on Christmas. It's never fun to be in the hospital especially on Christmas", Caretaker went back to playing with Whumpee's hair.

"You keep doing that I'll fall asleep again", Whumpee looked at Caretaker tiredly, "do you think Santa will find us?"

"Yes, of course", Caretaker chuckled, "amazing that your sense of humor is still tact."

Whumpee weakly smiled, "I have to make you laugh still. I know how stressed you get when I'm hospitalized."

"Go ahead and try to get some sleep", Caretaker smiled, "don't worry about anything else. You need rest."

A nurse came to the door way.

"Can I talk to you privately for a moment", they whispered.

Caretaker nodded as they got up. Their nerves caused a lot of shakiness in their legs. They thought the worst with Whumpee's recent lab work.

"Is everything alright?", Caretaker whispered as they closed the door to Whumpee's room.

"We don't have any results yet. We are asking our patients or their family if they would like a visit from Santa. He is going to be making visits soon. We know not everyone celebrates Christmas though."

"I think Whumpee would love that. It would definitely cheer them up", Caretaker smiled happily, "they just asked if I thought Santa would find them, so this is perfect."

"A kind donor has donated some gifts. Would you like to go pick one out for Whumpee so we can wrap it for Santa to give them", the nurse grinned.

Caretaker looked at their watch and leaned up close to Whumpee's hospital bed.

It was about time for Santa to stop by.

"Whumpee", Caretaker whispered, "would you wake up for me just for a few minutes?"

Whumpee slowly opened their eyes and looked at Caretaker.

"Is doctor back with any results yet?", they whimpered.

"No, not yet, but the nurses said something just flew onto the roof of the hospital", Caretaker smiled.

"Why are you smiling? Don't we need to evacuate?", Whumpee whispered.

"No Whumpee", Caretaker shook their head.

"Huh?", Whumpee whispered worriedly.

A knock came at the door just then.

"Oh uhm, come in", Whumpee called as they pulled up the blanket to cover their shaky body.

Caretaker smiled as the door was opened and someone dressed as Santa entered the hospital room.

Whumpee's jaw dropped as they saw it. They turned to Caretaker with a giant smile.

"I told you Santa would find us", Caretaker lovingly rubbed Whumpee's arm.

Whumpee turned to watch Santa walk in closer.

"Ho ho, Merry Christmas. Your name is Whumpee, yes?", Santa greeted.

"Y-yes sir", Whumpee nodded.

"And your the caregiver, Caretaker?", Santa looked up.

"Yes, its very nice to meet you Santa", Caretaker grinned.

"Well, I'm making my rounds in the hospital. I saw that you had a gift in my bag. I wanted to deliver it to you personally", Santa started to reach into the bag.

Whumpee turned quickly to Caretaker. They knocked their oxygen mask off in a coughing fit that lasted a few seconds.

Caretaker carefully repositioned the mask once Whumpee looked back up.

"Feel better?", Caretaker sighed.

"Ugh, no. Sorry about that Santa", Whumpee shamefully looked at Santa.

"Nothing to apologize for. That is some cough you've got there", Santa made a concerned face, "is that why you are here?"

"Kind of. This has been going on since last Christmas. I am getting weaker and weaker. The doctors don't know why?", Whumpee sighed, "we have to come to the hospital a lot for me to get a tune up. It's especially bad when I can't breath."

"Hmm, that is quite concerning. I'll have to see if I can use my Santa magic to get some answers", they waved their fingers.

Whumpee giggled, "thankyou Santa."

"Here is a present until then", Santa handed them the neatly wrapped gift.

Whumpee's eyes lit up as they took the gift.

"Wow, thankyou so much", they smiled.

"You're welcome", Santa nodded.

Whumpee weakly fidgetted with the wrapping.

"Will you help me Caretaker. I can't get it", Whumpee looked up sadly.

"Of course I can", Caretaker leaned up.

Whumpee excitedly watched as it was opened for them. Their eyes sparkled excitedly.

"Oh wow", Whumpee enthusiastically looked at it, "that is so cool. Thankyou so much Santa this is awesome."

"You're welcome, Whumpee. I'm glad I was able to meet you and bring this to you. I have a few more stops to do before I get into my sleigh. I hope you get to feeling better", Santa patted Whumpee's shoulder gently.

"Thankyou so much", Whumpee smiled up at them, "this was such a great surprise."

"I'm glad. Merry Christmas, have a good night", Santa smiled up to Caretaker.

"You as well Santa", Caretaker nodded.

Whumpee turned to Caretaker sadly.

"I wish you could have gotten something from Santa as well", they frowned.

"I did", Caretaker leaned up again, "seeing you smile and be happy was all I needed."

Whumpee smiled again, but it turned to a yawn.

"Alright, back to sleep with you", Caretaker set the gift aside, "here take a drink of water."

Santa turned to one of the nurses before they ventured into the next patient's room.

"I would like to take a look at their chart. I think I recognize some of their symptoms. I need to see it. Plus any bloodwork and testing", they whispered.

"Right away Santa", the nurse grinned.

The next morning Caretaker stepped out of the room to grab a coffee from the nearby vending machine.

"Good morning", Caretaker smiled at the nurses sitting at the counter.

"Good morning", they replied.

They watched Caretaker get the coffee.

"How did Santa's visit go yesterday?"

Caretaker chuckled, "Whumpee smiled ear to ear for a while after. They were so excited. Thankyou again for getting that set up."

"You're welcome", the nurses smiled, "we are happy it made yours and Whumpee's day."

A knock came to the day.

"You can come in", Caretaker sighed as they wiped away some spilled food from Whumpee's face.

"Sorry", Whumpee whispered.

"It's not your fault. You can't help the shakiness. I just wish we knew something", Caretaker looked up to see who was coming in.

"Hello, I am Dr. Ted. May I come in?", they peaked from the door.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, we've not met you yet", Caretaker stood.

"Yes I don't normally come up to intensive care too often. I heard a little bit about what was going on with our patient here. I hope it's okay, but I requested a copy of Whumpee's chart. Plus, their recent testing and labs", Dr. Ted came farther into the room, "this has been going on for a while?"

"A long while", Whumpee sighed.

"I again hope it's okay that I went through your chart Whumpee. I thought your symptoms sounded familiar", Dr. Ted sat down.

"Sounded familiar in a way that you know how to help?", Caretaker looked at them curiously.

"Familiar in a way that I can give you name. Then we can go into treating it", Dr. Ted smiled, "their isn't a known way to treat it, but we can learn to manage symptoms. Going over what has been said during your visits and your physical exams. I'm think you have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, in short, that is Chronic Fatigue Syndrom."

"Chronic Fatigue?", Caretaker frowned.

"Yes it can be brought on by many things: stress, a bad illness like the flu. It wasn't taken very seriously before, which is why we don't know much about it, and it could be overlooked. What we know so far is that it affects the bodies ability to produce energy at a cellular level. This leads to fatigue, muscle weakness. You can see cognitive difficulties. A chronic cough from polymyositis . It can cause neurological issues like shaking and tremors. Pulmonary fibrosis, which is a lung disease that leads to scarring on the lung tissue. This causes breathing issues. By the way your faces just turned, I can imagine I'm hitting a lot of nails on the head."

"Yep. That definitely sounds similar", Whumpee glanced at Caretaker, "I had gotten really sick, then this started. Remember Caretaker?"

"Yes I remember", Caretaker leaned back in the chair. In shock mostly, "why couldn't this have been figured out before. They've only grown weaker since it started."

"Unfortunately there just isn't enough to known about it. I recently just treated someone who had the same cough", Dr. Ted sighed, "there is a lot of nasties that go with this. We will need to work on a treatment plan right away so you can get your strength back."

"How did you know about my cough though", Whumpee frowned.

"Oh uh", Dr. Ted gulped, "a very close friend of mine was here with you yesterday they told me all about it, and told me I should try to help. Let's write down a list of your ailments, and we will get a treatment plan ready."

Dr. Ted stepped momentarily to call for a nurse.

Caretaker followed and shut the door.

"You were Santa last night, weren't you?", Caretaker whispered.

"Uh well, yes", Dr. Ted grinned, "I normally dress up every year and play Santa in this hospital. I over to spread the excitement I have for this holiday. I'm very happy I was able to hear that cough last night. Please don't tell Whumpee though. I want that magic from last night to stay there. Let's let Santa's magic continue."

Caretaker nodded, "thankyou", they whispered. A tear threatened to fall.

"You're welcome", Dr. Ted rested a hand on Caretaker's shoulder, "I promise. I'm going to help. This won't just be a regular tune-up for Whumpee. I'm hoping that I will give you both something that you can work with. We can get this managed. We can get Whumpee feeling better, and as more is found out about this illness, we may be able to get Whumpee back to their original self. That's what I'm hoping for at least. It will take time, but I thinks it possible."

"You've already given us more answers than what we had originally", Caretaker looked down, "it really is a Christmas miracle."

"Well that's the Santa magic working. I'll be back in there shortly", Dr. Ted looked back at the door, "let's help Whumpee."

Caretaker nodded, "thankyou so much."

"You're really making a difference in that room", a nurse brought over some paperwork Dr. Ted had asked for.

"I certainly hope so", they smiled, "they both deserve it."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath

@porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst

@generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened

@freefallingup13 @notpeppermint

@cyborg0109 @idontreallyexistyet

@painfulplots @whumpbump

@everythingsscary @skittles-the-whumpee

@expressionless-fr @theforeverdyingperson

@legendarydelusiongoatee @candleshopmenace

@whumpanthems @lavndvrr

@ivymyers @starfields08000

@a-living-canvas @lumpofsand

@watermeezer @indigoviolet311

@whumpy-mountains @3-2-whump

@risk606 @electrons2006

@paperprinxe @whumprince

@kaz-of-crows @mis-graves

@decaffeinatedtimetraveler94 @sausages-things

@castiels-favorite-hunter @isikedmyself878

@daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud @valravnthefrenchie

@glennemerald @jasperthecapser

@does-directions @deafeninglittlecrown

@jumpywhumpywriter @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @thenormalestever

@whatwhump @galatic-worm

@starmoon-constellation @bacillusinfection

@whumpsandbumps @tobiasbones

@octopus-reactivated

[bellysoupset]

I'm going to ask again since we haven't seen sick Leo in a while. How about, he and Jonah are at some sort of wedding vendor convention/show for engaged couples (these really do exist in the US), and all the caterers have samples for people to taste and they're having a great time until Leo realizes one of the cakes they tasted came from the bakery that supplied his work birthday cake that made him and Jon so sick. So then he's freaking out/whiny/being adorably Leo that he's absolutely going to get sick and Jonah's a fucking doctor and can't he do something (I'm thinking Leo going way overdramatic and asking for his stomach to be pumped or something) and Jonah keeps rolling his eyes and telling him that he's fine.

And then later Leo does start feeling sick but at first Jonah doesn't believe him but then he pukes and he's like "I told you so" but Jonah doesn't so it turns out either than he got food poisoning from one of the appetizers he sampled that Jon didn't (like, it had an ingredient he didn't like or Leo just at a fuckton of them and Jonah only had a bite), or else he got the Vince/Lucas plague somehow.

Is that detailed enough lol? I just want Leo and Jon cute bitching at each other please. And then Jon caretaking when he realize that yes, Leo is actually unwell.

But hey, no pressure.

No pressure lmao. I tried to type this one as fast as I could, so maybe it can get a part 2? Not sure!

-------

"I won't preteeend, that I won't miss thiiiis," Leo squealed, hand in hand with Jon and all but skipping, "But Portland, Maine, I don't know where that iiiis."

Jonah let out a snort as his fiancé sang the chorus again, "do you only know this part of the song?" he grinned and Leo waved him off.

"And you can go ahead and hate me, that's just fine," he sang smugly, "It doesn't matter either way, I'm right. Portland, Maiiiine-"

Jonah rolled his eyes as the off-key singing continued, pulling Leo closer by their clasped hands and shutting him up with a kiss, "you're silly."

"Yeah, but you love me," the blonde chuckled, kissing him back and then moving so he could press a kiss to Jonah's shoulder, keeping them closer as they continued to walk through the conference center in Portland.

They had gotten to the town at 8 AM, but regardless of the early hour, the event was packed. Each vendor had its own stand and they were organized in several rows, by different categories.

Jonah wasn't particularly thrilled, he felt that this was the type of place couples went to get discounted prices and he had no desire to bargain on his wedding, he wanted the best, no matter the cost. Nevertheless, Leo was beaming. He loved any type of sales, but most importantly, he clearly loved being involved in the planning.

It was 10:30 AM by now and Jon's stomach was starting to rumble with hunger. Leo clearly probably didn't share this feeling, since he had been trying every single food sample that the many stands kept offering him.

"Okay, so we're set on the black invitations?" Jonah reached for the iPad in his bag, looking at the itemized list Wendy had helped him put together. She was an amazing party organizer and he the harder part of asking for her help on anything was to get her to stop.

"Only if you agree on the different lining," Leo rested his chin on Jon's shoulder, "I really liked the one that was a photoshoot."

"I thought those were pretty as well," Jonah turned his head just in time to plant a kiss on the tip of Leo's nose, causing his boyfriend to scrunch it adorably, "this means we need to find two different photographers, one for the wedding, one for the photoshoot-"

"Could be the same one," Leo shrugged, tugging him towards a table, "oh try this-" he said, eyeing the fancy chocolate truffles. Jonah eye rolled at him.

"No, it's going to spoil my appetite," he scoffed, going through their list, "I wanna get a look at the venue representatives here-"

"Okay, okay, okay..."

Two hours later and Jonah was feeling extremely proud of himself. He had connected with several vendors and booked two different venue tours, besides they had matched well with several photographers and stylists-

His stomach let out a grumble, loud enough that Leo heard and raised his eyebrows, even in the crowded space, "that was your tummy?"

Jonah's cheeks burned and he looked away, crossing his arms, "I'm starving-"

"The cafeteria closed thirty minutes ago," Leo sighed, already pulling out his phone to search for a restaurant. Jonah shifted, he was really hungry, he had been so focused on the task at hand that he hadn't really thought about eating.

"Here," Jon stepped forward and grabbed some shrimp canapes from one of the stands, taking their card as well, although that was just for show, "have some-" his cheeks were burning from the embarrassment of it all, but there was no other immediate option and his insides were hurting.

Jonah ate his two canapes and Leo took one, munching on it without looking up from his phone, "alright, there's a restaurant about thirty minutes away from here on foot," he said, licking his thumb, "doesn't seem fancy, but if you're really hungry-"

"I'm starving," Jonah nodded, tagging along with him, "I was dumb."

Leo snorted at that, rolling his eyes as he ate his second shrimp canape, "nothing new ther- What's that?"

"What?" Jonah glanced down at his body, since Leo was glaring at him, "what is it?"

"In your hand?"

"Oh, just the card of the shrimp canapes. They're really good, by the way, though I might just be starv-" Jonah's voice faded as Leo snatched the card from his hand and then let out a loud groan.

"JON!" He whined, loud enough that some people looked their way, "Jon, that's Culinary Chic's card!"

He simply blinked at his boyfriend, confused, "should I know them...?"

"YES! These are the pricks who poisoned us on my birthday! The ones who did the cupcakes!" Leo's face paled and he let out a queasy groan, "oh my god, I'm gonna be sick."

Jonah rolled his eyes at his histrionics, "you had two little canapes, baby. Besides, it's not a very original name, it's probably a different cate-"

"Nope," Leo whined, continuing to walk, hunched over as if his stomach was hurting even though Jon was fairly sure it was down right impossible for him to be feeling sick 30 seconds after swallowing his food, "I'd know their logo anywhere, the office sued them- See! It says on the back that they're from Welton!"

Jonah cringed, "well, that's not ideal," he agreed, "but I feel fine. I'm sure you're just being dramatic-"

"Can you get it out of me?" Leo asked, just as they stepped outside the conference center. It was windy outside and Jonah shivered, while his fiancé collapsed dramatically on one of the benches on the sidewalk, "please? If we go to a hospital, can you do your mojo, get my stomach pumped-"

"Leo," Jonah cackled, standing in front of him and messing Leo's hair, "don't be ridiculous, I couldn't do that even if I believed you're actually feeling sick, which I don't."

"Do you hate me?" Leo's voice came out muffled as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Jon's tummy and wrapping both arms around his stomach, "I can feel it churning inside of me."

Jon let out a scoff, patting his back, "there, there. Can you get up? I'm really hungry, Leo. Starting to feel woozy from hunger, really."

Leo got up, pouting the entire time and moved away as Jonah tried to take his hand, "no, don't talk with me, you don't believe me," he squeezed his eyes as if he felt a cramp, "that fucking place poisoned me, again, and you won't even do anything about it."

Jonah glared at the side of his head, continuing to walk. He wasn't kidding about feeling woozy, while Leo had snacked all day on samples, Jon hadn't eaten since the day before.

"Okay, Leo, whatever," he snapped, feeling a little sting of annoyance. Couldn't his boyfriend save the scene for later, when Jonah wasn't about to collapse from hunger?

The rest of the walk was quiet. Jonah was feeling genuinely dizzy and Leo seemingly had gotten offended, so he was walking next to him with his arms wrapped around his belly and glaring at the ground.

"Is this the place?" Jon asked, as they stopped at a little rundown tiny restaurant. It was definitely not fancy, but it'd do. The smell of the food was amazing.

Leo nodded, not looking at him, "uh-hum."

With a tired huff, Jonah walked ahead and inside the place. Leo followed him without a word.

He ordered the first thing his eyes latched on, as well as a coke, then turned expectantly to Leo, "what do you want?"

"Nothing," Leo shook his head, with a grimace, "a water."

"You're not going to be sick," Jonah sighed as soon as the waiter was gone, rubbing his temples, before reaching over the table to squeeze Leo's wrist, "I ate the same as you, baby, I'm not sick."

"Well, I'm sick of your voice, so clam up," Leo bit back, squinting at him, "if you won't believe me, then don't talk with me. My stomach hurts."

Jonah rolled his eyes, grimacing as his own belly cramped, although in his case it was because of hunger, "alright, shutting up," he pulled out his phone in order to avoid looking at Leo.

They sat there in deadly silence for fifteen minutes, until finally the waiter came over with his order. Leo reached for his water bottle immediately, while Jonah barely had enough time to thank the waiter before he was munching on the food as fast as he could.

It was rare that he allowed himself to be this impolite, but truly he was starting to see some colorful dots in front of his eyes.

Jonah was so focused and famished, that it was only when he was halfway through his meal that he slowed down and let out a relieved sigh, lowering his fork and knife, "are you sure you don't wanna order something? It's actually really good-"

"No," Leo had lowered his forehead to the table, "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Because of one measly shrimp canapé?" Jonah teased him, still not buying it, "doubt it."

It was the wrong thing to say, because Leo straightened up in his seat, pressing his hand to his lips and swallowing convulsively, "please, stop talking about food..." his voice was weaker now and Jon frowned.

"Are you actually sick?"

Instead of answering him, as soon as Leo lowered his hand, a sick belch rolled past his lips. His whole face turned red and he let out a whine, lowering his head in shame, "I'm sorry, excuse me-"

Jonah frowned, "Leo?"

His fiancé fidgeted, then shot up from his seat, cradling his stomach, "I- I'll be right back..." he grumbled in a thick, distorted voice, before shooting away in the direction of the bathrooms.

Jonah grimaced in sympathy, but still didn't get up. If Leo was sick, then he had a very long day ahead of him. And, in truth, Jon still wasn't fully convinced Leo hadn't talked himself into feeling queasy or upset his stomach with all the samples he had eaten.

He finished his meal, then drummed his fingers against the table, unnerved by Leo not returning. Jonah counted five more minutes, before fishing out his phone once again.

"Wow, so fucking worried over my wellbeing, you dickhead," Leo scoffed, as soon as he came back to the table, collapsing on his seat. Jonah rolled his eyes, lifting up his head and turning the phone around.

"I was getting us a hotel room, you prick," he glared at Leo, "clearly you're in no shape for us to drive back to Welton."

Leo's eyes widened, adorably, as he glanced from the screen with the booked room, then back to Jonah, then they welled up in tears, "Ah... I'm sorry-"

"What- No! Nononono-" Jonah leaped from his seat, so he could crouch down in front of Leo's, "no, baby, don't cry. That's alright, I didn't believe you, I was a dick-"

"You booked us a hotel room..." Leo sniffled, rubbing angrily the microtears glued to his lashes, "and I was a jerk and I feel so-so horrible-"

"I know, I know," Jonah cooed, biting down an amused smile at the over the top reaction. He reached in, cupping Leo's cheeks and wasn't even a little bit surprised as heat met his hands, "you're running a fever, love. Did you end up throwing up?"

"No," Leo shook his head, curling up and lowering his forehead to Jonah's shoulder, "other end," his voice came out muffled and from the corner of his eye Jon could see his cheeks turning red.

He let out a sympathetic noise, "that sucks. Do you think you can handle the walk back to our car in the conference center or you'd rather we just took a taxi straight to the hotel?"

Leo let out a whimper and his answer was entirely swallowed as he ducked his head and muffled a burp in his hand.

"Leo?"

"Taxi," his face had turned the color of spoiled milk, "I really don't feel well, Jon..."

"I know, darling, I think you caught some bug," Jonah stroked his cheek, ignoring the confused looks from the other patrons in the restaurant and clicking around on his phone to call them a ride.

"Go wait outside, I'll get you a bag," Jon instructed, pulling Leo up a minute later, "go, baby-"

The tip of Leo's nose was still red and he looked every little bit like puss in boots, making it very hard for Jon to keep a straight face. Still, the blonde walked out, while Jonah went to the cashier to get the bill and ask for a plastic bag, as well as a new water bottle.

As soon as he made it outside, though, he realized he too late. Leo had had the decency of not throwing up right in front of the restaurant, he was by the end of the street, but braced against a street lamp and projectile vomiting in the gutter.

Jon's stomach clenched and he tried, really hard, not to gag. It took all the love in him to walk closer and plant a hand on Leo's back, squeezing his shoulder in a reassuring manner.

There was absolutely no chance in hell he could even afford to glance at the mess, after having just eaten, so Jonah opted for only standing there and checking their ride in the app, making sure Leo wasn't about to collapse down.

After what felt like an eternity, but his phone told him was exactly six minutes, Leo coughed and spat, letting out a groan, "what the fuck was this..." his words were sticking together and he stumbled back, before leaning against Jon's side, "god..."

"Very impressive," Jonah mumbled, gulping down his own gag and breathing slowly through his mouth, "take a sip, baby-" he pushed the water bottle in Leo's shaky hands, "a small one."

Leo took the smallest sip he could, before wrapping a hand around his belly and grimacing, "it's churning like hell... How long for the taxi?"

"Two minutes," Jonah combed his fingers through Leo's sweaty hair, guiding him slowly away from the disgusting mess, "I'll rub your tummy for as long as you want, as soon as we're in the room."

"Uhm," Leo pressed a fist to his mouth, muffling a wet burp and moved back to the street in order to spit out a mouthful of frothy saliva, "remember you said that."

[theranilord]

After exchanging information with the elderly couple Wade had rear ended, they finally made their way to a nice and upscale bistro. Stone would've been impressed if he was actually looking for a relationship with the charming and yet awkward man beside him. But Agent Stone was on a mission. He had to find his doctor.

"My, this is such a lovely spot." Wade jumped out of the car and ran to the other side to let Stone out. Wade offered his arm and Stone linked their arms, smiling at his date.

"My friend Tom said it was a great spot. I hope you don't mind, he and his wife are gonna join us."

Stone's steps falter briefly at the mention of an audience. 'Tom... the Sheriff, Tom Wachowski?! I'm going on a dou le date and it's with the very people who opposed the doctor's capture of the alien?!' Stone groaned internally, at least no one would recognize him. Walking into the restaurant arm in arm, Stone kept his features schooled, showing only a warm smile to his date.

In the middle of the dining room was his target: The Sheriff of Green Hills and adopted caretaker of the blue menace, Tom Wachowski and his wife. Stone knew she was a veterinarian and had been in San Francisco through the whole terrorist fiasco. Stone would have to keep his wit about him if he was to survive this dinner and learn any answers about the location of Ivo Robotnik.

They turned and smiled in greeting, Tom standing to greet him. Stone had to admit that he showed a higher sense of etiquette than was expected.

"Hey, I'm Tom. This is my wife Maddie." She reached up and shook Stone's hand firmly. She had a strong but firm grip that made Stone take notice. She clearly was the decision maker in the relationship.

"Good evening. I'm Aban. Aban Stone. I run the Mean Bean." He said taking the seat Wade pulled out for him. Maddie nodded in understanding.

"Right, I heard about what happened to Karen. Can't say I'm sad to see her gone. She was not always the most pleasant." Stone smiled in his mind, though he couldn't admit to what he did publicly, he still felt proud. "So, what made you choose Green Hills?"

"Well. I was working a fast paced government job, but my department was recently... let go. I thought it'd be nice to start over somewhere... humble." Tom nodded along and looked at Maddie.

"Green Hills is a small town, true, but it's not always the quiet town." She and Wade laughed as if part of some inside joke. Stone felt a stab of anger deep inside. 'They know what happened. This is your chance, start probing!'

"Yes, Wade was mentioning something about an Evil Doctor?" Stone kept his tone innocent and curious to avoid suspicion. Wade may be simple but Tom and Maddie? They would be harder to read.

"Oh yea, this tall, thin evil scientist guy was investigating this black out caused by So-" Wade began and Stone noticed the slip before Tom jumped in and tried to cover.

"There was a bad black out, and some military branch of the government came to investigate, but they were on a wild goose chase. The man doing the investigation was very unstable. Thought I did it and had me labeled as a domestic terrorist. It's all settled now. The guy got relocated and everything was sorted out quickly." Tom took a drink and looked at Wade. "Hey, can I see you for a sec?" Tom didn't wait before heading to the bathroom, with Wade following as quickly as he could.

Stone kept his face blank as the officers retreated quickly, obviously to get their stories straight. He took a drink of water and glanced at Maddie. "Sorry, Tom is very secretive. And Wade isn't the most.... tactful."

"I'm sorry if I was prying. Just trying to get my bearings in a new place." He said apologetically. Maddie shrugged him off picking up her own menu.

"Don't worry about it." Agent Stone decided to take a brief moment to ask a genuine question.

"If I can ask... Wade... is he always...?" Stone left the question open, unsure how to phrase his question but Maddie picked up on it regardless.

"He's not the brightest bulb in the pack, no, but he does have a good heart. He also kinda misses obvious social cues, so you may have to be more direct with him." She nodded, looking almost fond of the simple minded man he's dining with. Stone paused a moment and considered how much Ivo missed basic social cues as well. 'Perhaps I have a type...'

Wade and Tom returned shortly and Stone decided to approach his date differently. This was going to require more finess on his part..

[setsuuestsu]

New Years

Sickie: Jungkook | Caretakers: OT7 | Word Count: 721

“Ten!”

“Hh-tschh!”

“Nine!”

“Hh-ptschoo!”

“Eight!”

“etschoo!”

“Seven!” 

“heh-etsch!”

“Six!”

“Hh-tschh!”

“Five!”

“Tschoo!”

“Four!”

“Heh-ptschoo!”

“Three!”

“etschh!”

“Two!”

“hih-tschoo!”

“One!”

“Hah-tschoo!”

Namjoon frowns. “Jungkook-ah, you’re cold still hasn’t gone away?”

The maknae sniffles, blowing his nose into the freshest tissue there is, aka the one at the top of the box.  “Yeah, I caught it like … around the beginning of December, and it still isn’t much better.” 

To his right, Hoseok lets out a tut. “Have you gone to the doctor, baby?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Uh huh, and all they said was to rest and drink fluids.”

Of course, Taehyung lets out a gasp. “That can’t be! You have to be well enough for our foosball match later. Everyone else in this room is either not good enough to even turn the knobs on the table or is too old to even see the ball!”

Namjoon opens his mouth to rebuke that statement but then seems to mull over Taehyung’s words. He shuts his mouth and then shakes his head.

But Jin doesn’t take Taehyung’s complaint as well. “What do you mean, too old??”

The second youngest gulps. “Oh shit. What I meant to say was—“

Unfortunately Jungkook can’t hear the rest of Taehyung’s lame ass excuse because he’s doubled over sneezing again. The last excuse Taehyung had used was against their university gym teacher. The teacher had asked why Taehyung wasn’t wearing his gym pants and his hyung had quickly stated something along the lines of “You see, I went to open my closet door this morning, where my pants were hanging up and then the pant leg had gotten stuck to the doorknob and when I opened it, they ripped.”

At the time Jungkook had facepalmed but looking back on it, it was a damn good excuse. 

Yoongi sighs from his seat on the rug, leaning against the couch. At the moment the second eldest has a lapful of Hoseok. Yoongi’s running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair as the dance instructor comes close to the human equivalent of purring. “Can we just celebrate the New Year like a normal gaggle of gays?”

Jungkook coughs out a laugh, which then becomes just a normal coughing fit. 

Right after Yoongi’s statement, Jimin is tackled to the floor by Taehyung and the two start wrestling. Yoongi slumps back into the couch. 

“Do we have any more tissues, perchance?” Jungkook asks, pressing the back of his hand to his nose. It’s not conventional, but it’s better than the love of his life (Namjoon, for Christ’s sake) seeing him all snotty and gross. 

“You can’t just say perchance!” Jin shouts, but he throws an unopened box of tissues at the maknae.

Once he’s finished blowing his nose, he throws the used tissue into a little plastic bag he had placed on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Namjoon asks, his brow wrinkled in a marvelous, sexy, leader voice and oh my gosh, now that’s all he can think about because wow Namjoon would make a great leader of some idol group or something and perhaps wear those shorts he usually wears to the beach that show off his thiccc thighs and—

“Jungkook-ah,” Jin clears his throat. “Joonie asked you a question.”

The maknae’s eyes widen and he snaps out of his daydream. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. Really.”

He quickly adds, “If it weren’t for the sneezing and the stuffy nose, this cold would literally be gone by now.”

“Are you sure you aren’t contagious?” Yoongi asks, wrinkling his nose, making a shoo’ing motion with his hands. He only ends up whacking Hoseok in the eye, who whines and sits up in response.

Jungkook nods. “It’s been like, a month. If I were contagious, one of you would have been sick by now. And no one’s sick.”

Yoongi hums, relaxing slightly. Jungkook knows the eldest hates starting out the new year with a cold, having done it for the past twenty-two years, according to Yoongi’s mother.

Of course, at that exact moment, Hoseok sneezes into his elbow. 

Yoongi looks horrified, quickly pushing Hoseok’s head off of his lap. 

“Get off!” he shrieks, the loudest Jungkook has ever heard Min Yoongi.

But he smiles to himself. Even though he’s sick, at least it won’t be a quiet New Year’s.  

[chiharuuu22]

About Whumpee's Meal

Here's a look at what Whumpee ate and felt over time.

When Whumpee was with Whumper, Whumpee never got a decent meal. Maybe it's just leftover food being piled up, food that's starting to go stale, or even not being fed at all. To get water, Whumpee relies on seepage in the walls. If Whumpee got his share of food still in shape, Whumpee would consider it a lucky day. Whumper will force Whumpee to eat roughly or make Whumpee eat in a miserable position.

When Whumpee is rescued, Whumpee may be unconscious and in a critical-weak condition, Whumpee will eat high-calorie food in the form of pasta or liquid. However, Whumpee do not eat through the mouth; they have to use an NGT tube from the nose, which is directly connected to their stomach.

After Whumpee regains consciousness but is still in a condition that does not allow eating by mouth, Whumpee still gets food through an NGT tube, but the Caretaker will stimulate Whumpee's mouth with warm water, or milk, or maybe juice little by little (of course this is with the approval of the doctor who treats Whumpee).

When Whumpee can remove the feeding tube, Whumpee will start the first meal with a thin porridge, or soup, or broth. Of course, this food tastes bland. I mean, what do you expect a sick person in recovery to eat? However, the Caretaker can always make Whumpee eat spoon by spoon. At first, Whumpee was only able to eat a few bites or sips, but it often ended in vomiting, so the Caretaker had to feed Whumpee several times.

After a few days, Whumpee could eat a full bowl of his watery food without vomiting, although it still took longer than a normal meal. However, this is a sign that Whumpee's condition is improving.

The caretaker then introduced Whumpee to more solid foods. Porridge that is already denser, soup with a thick texture, or broth with thin and small pieces of chicken and carrots The taste of the food is better, even though it is still relatively bland, but Whumpee likes it. Whumpee has also started learning to eat on his own, although Whumpee is still messy because the hands are not strong enough to hold a spoon. You can imagine Whumpee's hands shaking or maybe it's because Whumpee's body is still weak. The Caretaker will end up feeding Whumpee slowly until the food runs out.

Several times in the middle of the night, when Whumpee wakes up from nightmares due to the trauma caused by Whumper, the Caretaker will give a glass of warm milk for Whumpee to calm down.

Whumpee is finally starting to be able to eat normal food, although the texture is still adapted to Whumpee's chewing ability. Whumpee started eating slightly soft rice with meat and vegetables in small pieces. Oh, of course, this time the food tastes much better than the previous meals. Whumpee can feed himself well, although sometimes Caretaker still feeds him on the pretext that they don't want Whumpee to push himself too much (and Whumpee feels that Caretaker is too much).

Then Whumpee recovered and was able to eat normally. Food like humans, with portions that suit their bodies. Maybe several times he will ask for extra food, which makes the caretaker happy because Whumpee has an appetite again.

Oh, you guys can't forget the fruit. Fruit is great for Whumpee to eat, especially during the recovery. At first, it was just fruit juice, then soft-textured fruit such as bananas that were scraped like pulp or fruit that was cut into small pieces, until finally, Whumpee could eat normal pieces like dice.

Caretakers also like to give snacks after Whumpee starts to eat solid food. Like homemade biscuits that crumble in Whumpee's mouth and even give some ice cream.

Caretaker often asks what Whumpee's favorite food is so Caretaker can cook it for him, and Whumpee's answer is always the same, namely that what Caretaker makes is his favorite.

After recovered, Whumpee will eat everything Caretaker puts on the plate without any leftovers. Because Whumpee knows how unpleasant it is when they can't eat anything. Whumpee really appreciates the food they eats.

You can also imagine that when Whumpee's body can support itself, the caretaker takes Whumpee to eat in the living room on a lazy sofa with a pile of pillows near the fireplace or in the garden so they can change the atmosphere. The goal is to give Whumpee an appetite and speed up recovery.

Ah, one thing too. The time when Caretaker slipped a small piece of chocolate into Whumpee's mouth when they felt their tongue was bitter (by the way, this is what my mommy often did when my brother and I were sick and we complained that our tongue was bitter :)). When Whumpee is finally healthy, they try to eat the same chocolate, but it doesn't taste as good as when they were sick.

[attendsquoi]

Thea's Quest ~ Ch. 4

Chapter 4: Denial

Summary: Thea gets roped into the team’s “mission” to find Kent Nelson, climbs a very real lava rock wall, and has a heart to heart with Wally of all people.

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Word count: 3.1k

~~~

“Initiate combat training. 3, 2, 1.” The computer rang out.

The team was gathered in the mission room. There were no assignments for the day, so they were catching up on some training and – in Thea’s case – some much needed rest.

The demigod had just returned from her mentor’s mandatory days off, and was still nursing a few cuts and bruises. It was good to be back. As much as she appreciated Diana sharing her apartment, it was too quiet for Thea. After years of being surrounded by the busiest cabin in camp half blood, Thea felt far more at home in the cave. 

She stood off to the side, chatting with M’gann and Artemis as they watched Superboy and Kaldur spar. Thea couldn’t help but analyze their movements; an old habit from running combat lessons at camp.

“Kaldur’s, uh, nice – don’t you think.” Artemis said as Thea tuned back into their conversation. “Handsome, commanding. You should totally ask him out.” The girl suggested to M'gann.

Thea couldn’t help but smile to herself about both of her friends’ not-so-subtle crushes on Superboy. 

“He’s like a big brother to me.” M’gann denied.

“Oh, but you know who would make the cutest couple?” Thea said, jumping into the conversation. “You and Wally.” The demigod said, teasing Artemis.

She laughed at the way Artemis wrinkled her nose.

“Yes, yes! You’re so full of passion, and he’s so full of…” M’gann trailed off.

“Of it?” Artemis suggested, causing the three of them to laugh.

“Failed: Aqualad.” The computerized voice announced.

Thea looked over to see Superboy helping Kaldur off the ground.

“Black Canary taught me that.” He said, proud.

Thea was happy for Superboy, enjoying seeing her team, along with herself, make progress with Canary’s training.

~~~

Thea’s head turned as Wally ran by her, looking over to see where Red Tornado had entered the cave.

“Do you have a mission for us?” The speedster asked as Red Tornado walked into the room.

“Mission assignments are the Batman's responsibility.” Red Tornado replied.

“Yeah, well, the Batman's with the Robin, doing the dynamic-duo thing in Gotham.” Wally said. “But you're headed somewhere, right? Hot date? Or a mission?”

“If we can be of help.” Kaldur pacified.

“Oh, we don’t need to.” Thea interrupted, weary from her week.

Her wishes went ignored as Tornado pulled up an image on the cave’s computer.

“This is Kent Nelson, a friend. He is 106 years old.” Tornado began.

“Guy doesn't look a day over 90.” Wally whispered to Artemis.

“And he has been missing for 23 days. Kent was a charter member of the Justice Society, the precursor to your mentors' Justice League.” Tornado said.

Kaldur’s eyes widened in realization. “Of course. Nelson was Earth's sorcerer supreme. He was Dr. Fate.” He exclaimed.

Wally rolled his eyes. “Pfft. More like Doctor Fake.” 

Kaldur turned to Thea as Wally continued talking.

“If you are tired, or injured, you do not need to join us on this impromptu outing. It is not an official mission, and you are under no obligation to go – especially if you need rest.” He said.

Thea’s posture softened.

“Guy knows advanced science and "Dumbledore’s" it up to scare bad guys and impress babes.” She heard Wally continue.

Thea’s eyes narrowed.

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine. There’s no way I’m about to let Wally get proved wrong without me.” She whispered to Kaldur.

He smiled back at her.

“Kent may simply be on one of his walkabouts, but he is caretaker to the Helmet of Fate, the source of the doctor's mystic might, and it is unwise to leave such power unguarded.” Tornado added.

“He's like the great sorcerer priests and priestesses of Mars. I would be honored to help find him.” M’gann replied.

“Me too!” Wally blurted, sticking his hand in the air. “So honored I can barely stand it. Magic rocks.” 

Thea rolled her eyes.

“Take this. Red Tornado said to Kaldur. “It is the key to the Tower of Fate.”

~~~

“What are the chances we'd both so admire the mystic arts?” Wally asked M’gann as she piloted the bioship to the team’s destination.

Thea could tell Artemis was equally annoyed with his dishonesty. Her eyebrows raised when she saw the girl smirk.

“So, Wally, when did you first realize your honest affinity for sorcery?” Artemis needled.

Unfortunately, he took it in stride.

“Well, I don't like to brag, but before I became Kid Flash, I seriously considered becoming a wizard myself.” He said, without looking away from M’gann.

“We've reached Tornado's coordinates, but…” The Martian began, not paying Wally any attention.

“Nothing's there.” Superboy finished for her.

“Take us down.” Kaldur ordered.

Once they got off the bioship, the team started to inspect the empty field where they had arrived.

“Nothing.” Wally said, skidding to a stop after having run around the perimeter. “This isn't simple camouflage.”

“So, what do you think? Adaptive micro-optoelectronics combined with phase-shifting?” Artemis asked.

“Absolutely… not!” Wally caught himself. “Clearly mystic powers are at work here.”

Thea paused, stepping around them. “Mystic powers” were largely out of her understanding, but the concealment reminded her of the nature of the mist. She closed her eyes and thought back to Chiron’s training. The mist is malleable. She pictured pushing apart a lead curtain.

She opened her eyes, raised her right hand and snapped. 

The sound echoed across the field. Nothing happened. But that’s when Thea felt it; almost like a hum, some sort of noise or vibration coming from the very ground they stood on.

“That energy… there’s something here.” She insisted, turning back to the team.

They seemed largely confused, not understanding what the girl had just done.

Kaldur looked down at the key.

“A test of faith.” He said to himself. “Stand behind me.” He said, raising his head.

Kaldur walked a few paces forward, and Thea stepped out of the way, following his instructions. He put his hand forward, as if he was inserting the key into a lock, then he turned his wrist. There was a click. A door appeared, open, as if it was inviting them inside. The team followed Kaldur through the threshold.

~~~

As soon as the last of them entered, the door closed behind them by itself. Then it disappeared.

“Uh, where'd the door go?” Superboy asked.

Suddenly a hologram of an old man – Thea recognized him as Kent Nelson  –  appeared.

“Greetings. You have entered with a key, but the tower does not recognize you.” The mirage spoke. “Please state your purpose and intent.”

“We are true believers, here to find Dr. Fate.” Wally announced.

Thea thought she saw the image frown before dissipating. Then the floor started to creak, before suddenly it collapsed beneath their feet.

Thea screamed but, thanks to her demigod impulses, reacted fast. As quickly as she could, Thea drew her dagger and thrust it into the rocky wall of the chasm. She lodged it there, dangling. As she looked down, she saw a pit of lava beneath them. 

“Those were my favorite boots. This Nelson guy better be worth it.” She heard Superboy say from the edge of the lava.

Acting on instinct, she moved her legs to find footholds. 

“Okay, you’re fine. It’s just the lava rock wall at camp, you can climb out.” She mumbled to herself.

Soon enough, she found notches to rest her feet and started hoisting herself up. Gripping the handle of her dagger in one hand, she stretched the other arm, curling her fingers around the rocky grips. Slowly but surely, she started climbing up and out.

“Having trouble maintaining altitude.” M’gann stammered as she tried to levitate her and Wally above the lava, but they were gradually sinking. “I'm so hot.”

“You certainly are.” Wally said.

“Wally!” Artemis chastised. 

“Hey, inches above sizzling death, I'm entitled to speak my mind.” He defended.

“My physiology, and M'gann's, are susceptible to extreme heat.” Kaldur announced. He was clinging to Artemis – at less risk of falling than M’gann, but certainly still suffering.

“We must climb out quickly.” He implored.

Thea had just about reached the top, but her arms burned from the exertion. She was still not fully recovered.

“I’m about there.” She called, turning her shoulders to face the team. “But I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to pull myself out, much less the rest of you. And I don’t know how I am going to get to you in the first place.” She said.

“Hello, M'gann. We never truly answered the question.” M’gann realized. “Red Tornado sent us to see if Mr. Nelson and the helmet were safe.” She shouted out above them.

Suddenly, the heat stopped. 

~~~

Thea sighed in relief, stopping a moment, still clutching her dagger and the top ledge of the pit to catch her breath.

“Can you get down?” Kaldur called from below her.

Thea looked down, seeing her friends gathered on a platform where the lava had been. 

“I could climb down, but it might take me a minute.” She called back.

Suddenly, an arrow shot by her face, lodging itself in the rock beside her. Artemis had sent a grappling rope to aid her.

“Thanks!” Thea said, grabbing the wire before unlodging her dagger from the rock and sliding down.

When she fell to the platform, Kaldur was kneeling on the ground. 

“This platform, it should be red-hot, but it is cool to the touch.” He said.

“Don't worry, Megalicious, I gotcha.” Wally said to M’gann as they landed.

“Enough!” Artemis yelled. “Your little impress-M'gann-at-all-costs game nearly got us all barbecued!”

“When did this become my fault?” Wally asked, incredulous. 

“When you lied to that whatever-it-was and called yourself a true believer!” Artemis accused.

Thea moved forward, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Breathe.” She instructed her friend, calm and quiet, though she couldn’t deny her own anger at Wally.

“Wally, you don't believe?” M’gann asked, startled.

Wally floundered for a moment.

“Fine. Fine! I lied about believing in magic. But magic is the real lie. A major load.” He declared.

“Wally, I studied for a year at the Conservatory of Sorcery in Atlantis. The mystic arts created the skin-icons that power my water-bearers.” Kaldur said.

“My whole world relies on some conception of magic, or at least a godly power beyond understanding.” Thea added.

“Dude, you ever hear of bioelectricity? And what power would that be, Thea? You don’t seem to have any!” Wally said sarcastically. “Hey, in primitive cultures, fire was once considered magical too. Today, it's all a bunch of tricks.”

Thea bristled.

“Oh, you did not just call us primitive.” She warned.

“You're pretty close-minded for a guy who can break the sound barrier in his sneakers.” Artemis accused.

“That's science!” Wally insisted. “I recreated Flash's laboratory experiment and here I am. Everything can be explained by science.” 

“Let us test that theory.” Kaldur said, leaning down to open a hatch in the platform.

“Wait, the back draft from the lava will roast us alive!” Wally yelled, panicked.

“Huh.” Thea said.

“It's snow.”

~~~

The team clambered through the doorway, into an expansive, wintery scene.

“Do you ever get tired of being wrong?” Artemis asked smugly.

“Well? Ever hear of string theory? We're in a pocket dimension.” Wally said.

“Ugh!” Artemis exclaimed.

They saw something glowing ahead of them.

“What's that?” Artemis asked, walking toward it.

“Ooh, maybe it's Nelson's magic wand.” Wally mocked, speeding ahead to join her.

“I got it.” They both spoke in tandem. “Unh. I can't let go.”

Suddenly, the cane lifted into the air, carrying Artemis and Wally with it.

“Whoa!” They both yelled before disappearing in a burst of light.

“I don't understand Wally.” M’gann spoke as the remaining four members of the team trekked through the snow. “It's almost like he needs to believe the impossible can't happen.” She said.

“Wally uses his understanding of science to control what he cannot comprehend. Acknowledging the existence of magic would be to relinquish the last vestige of that control.” Kaldur explained. 

They continued on in silence, with Superboy and M’gann pulling ahead to walk in front. Thea didn’t mind the snow, but she hated the wind, and she certainly wasn’t prepared for the weather. Kaldur noticed her angry shivering. Without saying anything, he shrugged off his jacket and set it around her shoulders. Thea glanced up at him in surprise.

“Wally’s attitude toward things he can’t explain may come from a place of insecurity and fear, but that does not justify it.” Kaldur began. 

“I hope you did not feel distressed by what he said. It is true that we do not have a good grasp on what your powers are, but even if you did not have them at all – you are obviously a skilled warrior, and we know that you’re an incredible teammate. He should not have been that disrespectful.” He insisted.

Thea did not shift her gaze from the path ahead, but Kaldur felt her step closer to him.

“Thank you.” She said.

As they continued on, Thea ended up walking next to M’gann for a while, letting the boys lead the way.

“I – I promise I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help but hear a little of what Kaldur said, and I just need you to know that we all value you – as a teammate and as a friend.” M’gann said. “Even Wally, he just… doesn’t always show it.” She cringed.

Thea smiled at her.

“Thanks, M’gann. I’m okay. I mean, I wouldn’t believe half the things that I know to be true if I hadn’t seen them for myself.” Thea responded quietly, tone sincere.

~~~

Then, just ahead of them, the group saw a doorway. Through it, Thea thought she could make out her friends' voices. None of them spoke, but they all ran toward the door.

“Ugh!” Superboy and Kaldur groaned as they fell through, the ground shifting from below their feet to their sides as they entered some M.C.Escher-esque room of staircases. 

Fortunately for Thea, she had been standing next to M’gann who grabbed her arm and levitated the two of them to the ground. Thea nodded to the Martian in thanks, but there was no time to talk before they scattered, trying to avoid the blasts coming from Abra Kadabra. Out of the corner of her eye, Thea saw Wally and Kent Nelson disappear into a bell.

Great. There they go. She thought to herself.

Once again, Thea realized too late how severely she was lacking in long range attack and defense gear.

I really need to get a shield. She thought, as she was caught by some sort of electric field, falling to the ground in pain.

The agony felt like it lasted forever. She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t even reach to grab for her weapons. While not severely injured, her scratches and bruises started to ache; Thea’s whole body shook with distress. She could hear her cries mixing with her teammates. Vaguely, she was aware of Klarion the witch boy standing over her, looking down at her with some confusion, before vanishing. 

Finally, the pain eased. Thea rolled herself onto her elbows, looking up in time to see Abra in his underpants disappear and Wally reappear with the helmet of fate. Looking around, she realized that Kent Nelson was nowhere to be found. But as Kaldur offered her a hand and she stood up, Thea was just glad all her friends were alright.

~~~

The team returned to the cave, weary but in one piece. Thea noticed how Wally seemed more somber on the flight back – not that the rest of the team was very talkative either. Everyone was pretty exhausted. Even so, Wally may not have known Kent Nelson for very long, but it never felt good to lose someone on the job. 

As everyone disbanded, Thea decided she needed a cup of tea before she did anything else. She went into the kitchen and put on the kettle, leaning against the counter as she waited for the water to boil. Slowly, she let her body ease, rolling her shoulders, closing her eyes, and tilting her head back.

She heard voices down the hall – Artemis and Wally, presumably in the souvenir room where they were putting the helmet of fate – but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She listened as they stopped talking and as footsteps echoed down the hall, nearing the kitchen. 

Thea looked over to see Artemis, staring at her with a smirk.

“What’s that look for?” Thea questioned as she turned to the cabinets, pulling out a tea bag.

“I know I was teasing M’gann earlier, but it looks like I guessed the wrong girl.” Artemis replied.

“What are you talking about?” Thea asked.

“You’re wearing Kaldur’s jacket.” Artemis observed smugly.

Thea’s eyes widened, glancing down. It was true. She had forgotten she was even wearing it. Quickly, the girl shrugged it off, tossing it on a kitchen stool. 

“We were in the snow a lot longer than you were. My uniform is a toga – he was just being nice.” Thea defended, not meeting Artemis’ eye.

“Whatever you say.” Artemis sing-songed back, waltzing out of the kitchen. 

Thea heard the zeta tube announce Artemis’ departure, then startled back to attention when the kettle began to whistle. She was pulling out a mug and pouring her tea when she heard someone else walk into the kitchen. 

“Ahem.” Wally softly cleared his throat.

Thea turned to look over at the boy. He held his hands behind his back sheepishly.

“I just – I wanted to apologize.” He said.

Thea raised her eyebrows, giving him a gentle but expectant look.

“I was angry earlier. But not at you. And I took it out on you – and that was bad.” Wally said.

Thea’s face softened.

“I… I was hurt by what you said. But not because you’re wrong.” Thea said, letting out a deep sigh.

“Being a demigod, there are ways in which I’m more “powerful” than most mortals. I have quick instincts, I can read Greek, I can see things you can’t. But for the past five years, so has everyone around me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt powerful.” She confessed.

Wally winced before frowning.

“Thea, you climbed out of a lava pit hours ago. M’gann can fly, I have superspeed, Superboy is the strongest guy around – none of us could do that. You’re insanely powerful. And– and I’m sorry I made you feel otherwise.”

“I accept your apology. Thank you, Wally.” Thea said with a smile.

The boy perked up immediately.

“You betcha, beautiful! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, speeding out of the room before zetaing home.

[captainhattersvoyagerstuff]

Caretaker Part 2

This is the continuation of the review started here

Scene 10 Hoedown from Hades

The crew finds themselves in the middle of some kind of Southern hoe down. I'd like to say these no longer exist, but I'm from Texas, so I can't. Everyone gets out their tricorders. They aren't in Kansas, thank goodness.

I told you there would be an evil corn on the cob lady

Turns out they are actually on the array but for some reason, they are stuck in this holographic hoedown from hell with pushy holograms that are programmed to entertain them or something. I don't quite know what the alien responsible was thinking, or the writers. This old lady comes out screeching for people to eat her damn corn on the cob! It's bizarre. Fabulously bizarre.

A girl grabs Tom's arm because even holograms know that Tom is easy. And she's like, let's go in this dark barn to Tom and Harry. And then pitchforks show up (this was bound to happen) and it turns out this was just the waiting room for the fun stuff.

That's actually a giant needle about to pierce Harry's chest.

Scene 11: Aliens experimentin'. Ain't it always the same?

The fun stuff is the crew hanging from these meathook like things while needles go down into their chests and they scream. Harry has the best scream. Janeway's scream sounds like something altogether different is happening.

After they are properly vaccinated against weird, the crew reappears on the ship. Everyone except poor Harry. The Delta Quadrant and apparently the writers hate Harry Kim.

Scene 12: Janeway Meets Chakotay

Janeway contacts the Maquis ship and Chakotay wonders why she knows his name and buddy are you ever in for it. Turns out the Maquis were taken earlier by the same entity and they are missing a crewman too, B'Elanna Torres. She suggests they work together, so three Maquis guys beam over.

"Oh, yeah, I was spying on you all this time." Great intro Tuvok!

Tuvok immediately goes over to Janeway's side and Chakotay realizes he's been betrayed and then he sees Tom Paris who also betrayed him and he's ready to beat the crap out of Tom. These guys have some intense rivalry that will no doubt continue through the show. But Janeway just stands right in front of of this big terrorist guy and barks at him to lay off, and he listens. If I had a tenth of that woman's presence, I'd have my own cult by now.

Oh, and notice the guy in the goofy vest in the background. That's Ayala. This guy was an extra on this show more than any other extra on any Star Trek show but he only gets a name once, and a few words of dialogue, so people use him in fanfic a lot. I didn't realize before that he appears so much so I'm officially declaring a "Where's Ayala?" hunt for this series.

Scene 13 The Banjo guy

Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay beam down and run into an old guy playing a banjo and who thought this up? It turns out banjo man is a powerful alien who used his great powers to yank ships light years away randomly to his front door.

Notice how Janeway glares down at him and gives orders while the supposed terrorist Chakotay sits down at eye level and tries to reason with him. I love this show.

Scene 14 You thought your hospital stays were bad

B'Elanna Torres and Harry Kim wake up in a hospital room with boils all over them in an underground area where these Ocampan people live. Some of their doctor guys come in. Half-Klingon B'Elanna immediately tries to kill him and gets restrained.

Guys, meet B'Elanna!

So yeah, sucks to be them, but at least there are no banjos there.

Scene 15 Janeway talks with long lost spy bud, Tuvok

Tuvok, the most sarcastic and thus the best Vulcan ever, and Janeway talk.  Janeway laments about Harry.  His parents apparently tried to send him his clarinet.  I’m betting they had lunchables for him too.  Janeway promises to get everyone home. Umm.

Scene 16 Neelix.

Voyager meets Neelix.  I realize some people really like him but most of the time he annoys me so, so much.  He is on a ship picking up debris and wants water.  But he can help them find their missing people!  Don’t do it Janeway! Don't let him on the ship!

Neelix already knows the plot.

Janeway does it.  Poor Tuvok is embraced by Neelix.  Tuvok will continue to be harassed by this guy for 7 seasons.  How he didn’t eject him into space and claim it as an accident I'll never know.

Tuvok, my man, this is just the beginning.

Scene 17 Fun in Ocampaville

Back with Ocampa Kim and Torres are told that the Caretaker sent them there. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with them and calmly say that they're going to die. They don't take it well.

Hey, no need for frowny faces!

They give them this slop and tell them to watch the nature screen.  They don’t even have cable. The Caretaker sucks but the Ocampa like him because he helped them out by making them an underground city. This happened after "The Warming" turned their world to desert.  Warming? Whatever could they be referring to?

We're now into the next episode of the pilot. I swear the other reviews won't be so long.

Stay tuned for our wacky baddies, the Kazon! Also, Neelix in the bathtub!

[gamesderesmes]

MY THOUGHTS ON STARDEW VALLEY BACHELORS

Alex

first impression : ok kinda rude,but ok .

he likes sports, Basic.

Now: cute little fella, ilike him lot , but, like, get a job.

Headcannon: He would definitely encourage you to go to the gym and play sports, likely that he would pick on what you are eating.

Marriage: He cooks, feed the Animals and help with the crops.

Helps a lot 120/10

Summary: Basic and safe choice, not bad.

7/10

Elliot

first impression : rich and fancy man, Oh is he a writer? That's good i guess

Now: broken and fancy man

Headcannon : I believe he has the biggest ass in all of stardew valley .

He definitely has the best hair, period.

He speaks sophisticated, probably uses "slang" that no one knew or used millennia ago.

Marriage: Fix the fences, give the pet water and feed the animals, He can cook some fancy dishes too.

Installs a small library,And that's it, I believe that a lot of the wedding is him taking you to the beach to relax and get inspired.

Summary: peaceful and lovely, But you'll have to practically support him, being a writer is beautiful in theory but very unprofitable.

if you like a victorian vibe (like lysandre in sweet love) chose him.

06/10

Harvey

First impression: nerd,Basic of a doctor character, caretaker and Responsible .

Now: Very cool that he likes planes, it takes away that he is "just the doctor"

"not everyone can achieve their dreams and that's just the way the world is".

I like him a Lot, I don't understand how anyone could not like him.

Headcannon : He loves his mustache, a lot. If you were a man he would definitely be very happy to help you take care of your beard.

The "first time" he would be incredibly nervous, hands sweaty and stuttering.

Think of someone furious and worried when you don't come home by 11 pm.

Marriage : on the first date he takes you for a hot air balloon ride?! How awesome is that?He's overcoming his fear to do something amazing together.

He cooks and work a good job that He loves

Summary: quality malewife material

1000/10

Alex

First impression : Typical rebellious teenager: skates,a Band and junk food.

he seems chilli and cool.

Now: chilli and Nice dude,responsible For your brother though he still gets into trouble.

Headcannon: When participating in any of his ideas, always have the ambulance number ready.

When he gets drunk he sure does vary between a crybaby or someone who thinks he's immortal.

He does his best not to swear, especially around his brother. He often makes up words.

He's the most oblivious of the group, so take it easy with him, especially if you want to flirt.

I like to think that Jodi taught him how to play the guitar.

He would definitely be a radical and playful father.

Marriage: First "encounter" was weird but.. ok? Well , young thing I guess .

He gets hired to play in a children's cartoon, that's so cute.

BUT

He is a little lazy and a mommy's boy , u want to be a "family man" , but don't work and want to complain about a dirty house?

The door of the house is useful, you can use it.

Summary: 10/10 If friend 4/10 to marry

Sebastian

First impression : daddy issues yehooo, get the f out of that Room

gothic /emo generic kid.

Now: ok i get ,Demetrius sure has a favorite, but that's no reason to throw stones at Linus, you banana.

Headcannon:

Sam doesn't like frogs, he likes frogs, he picks up the frog and throws it at Sam.

Having frogs in the bedroom is a cool idea until they "sing" all night.But if it pisses off Demetrius, Sebastian is happy.

Marriage: First dates are one of the best, but cigarette breath ...i can't take it.

"Second date": frog.

Marrying him, he helps on the farm and makes coffee or a fucking JEWEL...or a Bat wing..cool.

Summary: He is a good friend and a great romantic partner, but keep in mind that he will complain a lot about Demetrius or family issues.

6/10

Shane

First impression : RUDE! U CAN EAT MY COW SHIT, Gross stinky Man.

If someone said that he is Sebastian's father, I would believe him

Now: cool uncle i guess, should have been in therapy a lot sooner, its good that he's feeling well.

Headcannon: Honestly I have no idea where he got blue chickens.

he smokes a lot,like, really.

Marriage: The room he adds IS DIRTY? GO WASH THAT FOOT WTF

I don't want to eat what he cooks, he shouldn't even wash his hands .

a new chicken coop And that's it.

Summary: like...I neither like nor dislike him, but I feel he's a dirty guy, and I don't like dirt.

It's good that he's on the mend, but I feel like he's not ready to get married.

4/10

[kncrowder88]

There was this post I saw a bit ago about Janeways logs and the Admirality reading them and the WTF they probably went through with it. I made a joke about Caretaker and how they probably got some of the (i.e. before the wave) but then get hit with the rest like WAIT WHAT but now like

Look, all the shows went through it. We joke the Picard-Sisko-Janeway difference because she is more like Archer and Kirk. Five year mission -more like 7- with lack of constant comms. So all hers got dumped at once, these poor Admirals probably had to turn to the few Admirals who still remember those days like "Please sir handle these"

I mean, Picards first report came in all "I went to retrieve my new officers but this god like being decided to put humanity on trial, then we save some jellyfish space aliens from the outpost - do not recommend our support of them btw - and retrieved my new officers. They all served admirably during this mission. Oh right, the other thing being called himself Q and apparently we are still on trial. I presume that means Starfleet will be seeing more of him" (spoilers it means Picard will be).

Sisko first report in is all "While this isn't the assignment I would normally be eager to engage in, my first few days in station went rather ... unexpectedly. I was greeted by Captain Picard - I did not punch him out for his role in Wolf 359. I meet the former ..." long pause as he finds the most diplomatic way to introduce Dukat "Gul Dukat - I should punch him. And I have meet not only the inhabitants of the station but those Bajor has assigned here, including my first officer and liason officer Kira Nerys - I believe she will be a great assest to myself and this station. The rest of my Starfleet staff arrived only for us to need to figure out a situation with the station, a wormhole, and the Kai. In conclusion, I'm now a religious symbol for the Bajoran people and have begun reconciliation with Picard - apparently wormhole therapy is helpful?"

Starfleet just reading these events like ???? It's day 1. Only for the next records barely a week later - or really even couple weeks sometimes, those stardates vary from days to weeks to months apart - (but you know they get updates regularly, they take these events in AS they are occurring, they process WITH IT) to be Picard "we picked up an old virus from Kirk's time, everyone was basically drunk and nearly blew up the ship ... including the CMO teenage son" Sisko "I had to handle a diplomatic situation in which Kira Nersy went to the admiralty to override me, the Cardassians kept threatening treaty violations, and Klingons got involved?" Long pause "I think our station tailor used to be a spy"

Starfleet just there like "these two had adventures" (mind you they are getting Cerritos reports and other ship reports casually during all this like once the shows ACTUALLY overlap properly it's HILARIOUS to consider)

But Voyagers? That all you dumped at once. Those poor Admirals opening the Voyager files like "so we got yanked to the DQ, the ship was so critical and crew casualty report still being gathered - I lost my doctor and chief engineer and pilot within seconds. Got to engineering to help prevent a core breech when we all got abducted by an alien, by the time we returned to the ship Harry Kim decided to be special and stay abducted. So we had to go on a rescue mission. Which lead to the Ocampa (see files 72-197) and the Kazon (see files 64a through 78b), which lead to the destruction of the array (see files 1 through 20c)." Then jump immediately into "Apparently, I sent a distress call which I then followed which got myself trapped in singularity where I proceeded to send a distress call which would proceed to get PAST me trapped again and I would... meanwhile during this temporal shenanigans of reducing MY OWN SHIP THAT I GOT STUCK SOMEHOW .... I had one officer hit another, prove their worth, and get the chief engineer position. B'Elanna Torres will prove you right Professor Chapman." This being immediately followed by ANOTHER temporal event (Time and Again).

Those Admirals were probably just like so terrified. Imagine the reports mixed in with these that are the maintenance and fixing and resources etc etc updates just casual "without a space dock getting Voyager back up and running is taking longer but we did fine *insert resource* on some asteroids and quickly repaired some of the hull plating while we headed towards the next star system for some food items. Luckily, we were able to maintain warp as Torres came up with a unique way to temporarily remove the hull plating and utilize Neelix's ship as spare parts for coverage to ensure we could continue to travel"

Admiral 1: "did .... did they jerryrig unsanctioned alien technology to Starfleet vessels within mere days of being lost?"

Admiral 2 (looking at am Equinox report): "Want to trade reports? Ransom is a year in in and still hasn't allowed engineering modifications from his Chief Engineer"

Admiral 3: "your only on his second year?" Both Admirals look at him confused "uh ... you may want to just, they hit the Krowtonan Guard during year 2" is actively marking information on a different PADD as he is speaking.

Admiral 2: "uh .... what are you noting? Aren't you in charge of like diplomatic relations. You can't exactly send someone to any of these people."

Admiral 3 blank faced: "They decimated a Starfleet ship, and destroyed half her crew rather than grant safe passage to a lost vessel with no ill intent .... my diplomatic solution is within these notes."

Translation "once we can reach them Starfleet greets them"

[demolitionloversblog]

Splitting alters our theory as a system. Trigger warnings,for depression neglect, sexism, ableisim etc.)

As a system we have had theories on how specific species of alters split. We can't speak for every system, but we are speaking from our perspective. As someone who was missed in childhood with autism, and that possibility in mind. Can't say we have an explanation for every one since this is just a theory. From our personal experince. (Mine in particular current cohost -kobra)

Angel alters ever since we can remember we have been masking since we were kids. In school, work and even now as we are going through getting a job we have been masking. In several instances where we are really not able to express what we feel we mask. Giving us the response of oh well they do so good. They must be fine, or oh they must be such a good kid. Also someone going through grief, or a process of diffcult times in the iw if the system has one might find their wings comforting. (Caretaker angels even)

What else could be wrong with them? In instances where we have gone to a doctor we have been denied referrals, because we don't look autistic. In some cases not in every case, for our angel alters we almost put up this angelic persona. Out of wanting to follow rules and be compliant.

Fallen angels/demons: this is another section we would like to heavily speak from. From our experince. We have a lot of mythical creatures in our system. Ranging from Introjects to anyone in between. We are no stranger to splitting. Like the angel archetype we are prone to following directions, till we mess up, or at least feel we have messed up. In our case it's we've felt as though we've messed up. So we form a fallen angel, or split a fallen angel. So it feels like almost being casted out of heaven. As a religious metaphor for doing wrong. (It's not necessarily explaining how some of our alters our in the system. It's just a few of our theories as to why.) Demons are pretty much the same with that intention in mind.

Vampires: feeling like we have to hide a part of ourselves has never been easy. As a trans system, and as a system with disabilities it is difficult. We almost shun away and hide from the world. Almost always left for some sort of hunger for affection, or either hunger for solitude time.

Fairies: fairies are often sought to be mythical mischievous creatures in folklore. Also sought to be magical when you are kids. A child's brain may develop an fairy alter to protect them from a certain trauma they have been through. They also may play a role in soothing the system as well. Given their mischievous nature it's likely to make some people laugh sometimes. So it's a no given why some systems might turn to creatures like fairies, or elves for assistance.

(I can only say enough for the beings we have in our system. I can't speak for every other system. As no system is the same. Hopefully some might could relate to our experince if not great.)

[abunchoffolkswhosharealife]

Meet the System!

Hi everyone! Just as an FYI, this post will be updated whenever an alter feels to add a little section about themself. (We respect each other's privacy, and because of this, we let each other introduce ourselves instead of doing it for an alter.)

Thanks!

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For anyone who is wondering, the last time we did a head count, we had between 20-30 headmates in the system. That doesn't mean all of those headmates will actually make an appearance online. Some of us are very uncomfortable with the idea of sharing ourselves with the world, so we've left it to each alter to decide whether or not they want to go public. We also are pretty protective of our littles when it comes to the internet, (for obvious reasons,) so they will rarely (if at all) make an appearance. Thank you!

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Jay: Hi! I'm Jay, and am the host of this system! My pronouns are she/her, and I like to spend my time writing and drawing stories, creating worlds, (etc.) I identify as straight but queer (if that makes sense XD) Three words to describe me would be: Creative, Nerdy, and Nighthawk. I absolutely love my system and everyone here, and can’t wait to learn more about this community!

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Lena: Hello, Tumblr. I am Lena. My role in the system would be Medical Protector, since that is essentially what I do. I make sure we get through doctor appointments. My pronouns are she/her. I am aromantic. I am NEVER going to be in a romantic relationship with ANYBODY. EVER. Three words to describe me would be Cynical, Witty, and Insomniac. Some other cool info about me would be that I am one of the few in our system that doesn’t have an American accent. Mine sounds like it could be Russian, for some reason.

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Dean: Hey I’m Dean and my role in the system is Get-Assholes-To-Leave-Us-The-Fuck-Alone (aka Verbal Protector, but I like my version of the title a lot more) I’m a guy, so he/him, and just about as straight as you can get. I support though, so there you go. Three words? Damn. Smart. Bitch. Idk what else to put here. Just don’t be a shit head to us and you and I will get along just fine. (otherwise you’ll get a friendly not-so-friendly invitation to go to hell and fuckin burn, dick.)

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Melody: Hello, lovelies! <3 My name is Melody! My role in the system would be soother and caretaker, as my primary role is to help us breathe and calm down when we are panicking/having an episode, and to care for most of our littles and some other alters in our system internally. I am female, and my pronouns are she/her! I don't know what my sexuality would be, but probably pansexual (or omnisexual?) Three words to describe me would be Friendly, Patient, and Loving! Like Lena, I am one of the few in our system with an accent, mine I believe originating from Britain, as our system finds that accent to be quite calming and soothing. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

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Ian: What's up, guys! Idk what my role is, probably trauma holder tbh :') I'm a guy, so he/him please! Uh, I'm definitely homosexual, hands down XD Aw dang, three words? idk, um, maybe like fun-loving and hype and friendly? haha, I'm so bad at this. Idk what else to share ummm. . . Dean's my twin, Olivia and Oliver are my younger siblings, and Jack's our big brother. I love em all a lot, they're super great, so ye. Oh, and Orion's my boyfriend! See ya!

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Will: Um hi :) My name is Wilbur, but I go by Will. I don't know if I have a system role, i guess I'm probably just supposed to be the 12 year old kid we never got to be? idk lol. I'm he/him. idk what my sexuality is, I've never really had a crush before so. . . ye. My dads say three words that would describe me would be thoughtful, opinionated and either sweet or mischievous for the third one so whatevs. I really like drawing, playing video games, watching tv. And yeah. That's me. I love my family, and am happy to be here :)

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🔸: Hi.

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🦋: I have truama. Its hard for me to be out, but I wanna tell my story too. I dont want more kids hurting like me because its stupid shit. I dont know what I like but I wanna find out. I wanna do me.

oh and Im a girl.

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Max: Hi, I'm kind of new. I don't really know a lot of system stuff, sorry. I do know that I'm a fictive from Stranger Things though. Specifically season 4. I like skateboarding and surfing the net and stuff. Idk what else to put, so see ya.

[mj-iza-writer]

"Whumpee come here", Whumper choked out, followed by several sneezes.

Whumpee opened the door slightly and peaked in, "yes master."

Whumper groaned and looked at the door, "I'm not going to hit you, just come here."

Whumpee opened the door more and timidly walked in. They quickly wiped their nose on their sleeve.

Whumper looked at Whumpee and frowned.

"Don't tell me", Whumper sighed.

"Yes master, I woke up with whatever you woke up with", Whumpee frowned.

Whumper sneezed again, and quickly covered their nose.

Whumpee handed them a nearby tissue box.

"Great", Whumper groaned.

Whumpee looked down, "I'm sorry master."

"It's not your fault, I probably brought it home to the both of us", Whumper sat up in bed, "I guess I'm calling in a favor."

Whumper reached for their cell phone and dialed out.

"Please pick up", Whumper sighed. They looked at Whumpee and patted on the bed for them to sit down, "might as well rest while you can, that way you'll get better faster."

Whumpee awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh hey Caretaker, I'm sorry to bother you, um Whumpee and I both woke up sick this morning. Is there any way you could bring us some medicine, I'm completely out of it here. No you don't have to come help us at all, we just need medicine", Whumper frowned, "yes. I'll send you some money for it, thanks, bye."

Whumper hung up and fell back into the bed.

"Caretaker had to run some errands, then he'll bring us the medicine", Whumper sighed, "let's just stay in my room for the day so we don't spread it throughout the house, go get some stuff to cover up with, I'll share my bed, but I'm not sharing blankets with you."

Whumpee quickly got up and went to their bedroom. They carried back their blanket, pillow, and stuffed toy.

Whumper was up with their phone again scrolling quickly.

"I'm ordering breakfast. I don't want your sick hands touching my food, and I don't feel like cooking", Whumper sighed, "what do you want to eat from here?", Whumper handed the phone over to Whumpee.

Whumpee scrolled for a minute before clicking on their order, then handed the phone back to Whumper.

"I knew you would pick that", Whumper looked at them before ordering, "okay", they laid down, "this is going to be a long day."

Whumpee nodded, then sniffled some of the snot.

"Blow out the snot, don't suck it back in idiot", Whumper threw the tissue box at Whumpee.

Whumpee started to cry as they grabbed a tissue.

Whumper sighed in frustration and looked at Whumpee, "alright, shh, I'm sorry. Just calm down, I know you're not feeling well either, just relax, it's okay."

Whumpee let out a shaky breath, and wiped some tears away.

Whumper heard a knock downstairs a few minutes later.

"Well, that's either Caretaker or breakfast", Whumper groaned as they got out of bed.

They eyed Whumpee, who shyly buried their face into the stuffed toy.

"It was the food", Whumper came up a few minutes later, "we are stuck with water, had I known, I would have gotten groceries yesterday."

Whumpee excitedly reached for the food as Whumper handed it to them.

"Please don't make a mess in my bed", Whumper frowned, then went to the other side to eat, "here's a fork", they pulled one out from their pocket.

"Thankyou master", Whumpee reached for it.

"Crap... I forgot the water bottles", Whumper sighed.

"I can get them master", Whumpee quickly got up, and raced out of the room.

As they exited the kitchen with the water, another knock came at the door.

Whumpee glanced out the window and saw Caretaker, they opened the door with a weak grin.

"Hi Caretaker", they welcomed.

"Hey Whumpee. How are you feeling?", Caretaker came in carrying more than just medicine.

"Meh", Whumpee shrugged, then sniffled their nose again, "I've been better."

"For the second time, blow your freaken nose", Whumper yelled down the stairs.

Whumpee looked down, "I'm sorry Caretaker."

"It's okay, you go upstairs, I'll be up in a minute", Caretaker smiled, "let's get you two doctored up."

"That looks like more than medicine", Whumper stated from the top of the stairs, "you don't have to go through the trouble of taking care of us, just getting the medicine helps a lot."

"You hush", Caretaker ignored, "I have nothing else to do today. My errands are done, so now I can take care of both of you. Go on back to bed both of you, I'll be up soon."

Whumpee started to go up the stairs.

"Have either of you eaten yet?", Caretaker stepped back to the stairs.

"We are eating right now, I ordered breakfast to be delivered", Whumper stepped aside to let Whumpee through, "I'm serious you don't have to take care of us, we'll manage."

"Nonsense", Caretaker smiled, "I know how grumpy you get when you don't feel well. I don't want Whumpee to deal with you by themself."

Whumper sighed, "fine, if you're insisting. We're both in my room."

"Okay, go ahead and get comfy then, I'll be up after I get the groceries put away."

Whumper rolled their eyes as they went back to their room.

"Well I guess Caretaker is going to take care of us today", Whumper announced as they went back to their side of the bed.

"I'm glad", Whumpee looked up from their food, "Caretaker is so nice."

"Yes, a nice pain in my butt", Whumper stated as they blew their nose, "here blow your nose before you sniffle it up again."

"The tissues hurt my nose", Whumpee sighed.

"I don't care Whumpee", Whumper groaned, "blow your nose."

"What they mean to say is, they care deeply that you don't make yourself even more sick", Caretaker watched from the doorway, "go ahead and blow your nose, we can put some Vaseline on it after, that will help."

"Stop putting words in my mouth", Whumper looked at Caretaker angrily.

"You either need to get along with Whumpee, or I'll move them to their room", Caretaker sighed, "they are just as miserable as you, but they are trying their best to please you. I'm here now, so you are not going to be allowed to bully them, am I clear."

"Yes", Whumper mumbled.

"Very well", Caretaker came into the room, "here is the medicine, take it now while you're eating. I'll keep you both drinking fluids and resting throughout today.

Whumper and Whumpee started to take the medicine, two capsule pills, and then cough syrup.

Whumpee took the pills easily but ignored the cough syrup.

"Whumpee you need to take the cough syrup, it will make you feel better" Caretaker stated comfortingly, "come on."

"It's nasty", Whumpee complained sadly, "I don't want it."

"Take the medicine", Whumper argued, then stot-gunned the liquid.

The grimace on their face said it all.

Whumpee looked at Caretaker sadly, "see."

"Well I believe heavily in the phrase, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, I have a lollipop here. It's all yours after you take the syrup."

Whumpee sighed and quickly took the medicine.

"Very good", Caretaker smiled, "I'm very proud of you", they handed Whumpee a candy.

Whumper put their empty food container on the table next to them, then laid down with a groan.

"Do you want a candy, Whumper?", Caretaker offered.

"I'm not a child", Whumper sighed, then reached for a tissue.

"You're certainly acting like one", Caretaker mocked. "I even have a green apple, I know you like that flavor", Caretaker smiled, "it might help your throat even."

"Fine", Whumper reached for the candy, "thanks", they sighed.

A while later Caretaker came up to check on them.

"Still awake", Caretaker looked at Whumper, who nodded.

"I have the chores done for today", Caretaker sat on the side of the bed, "I couldn't imagine Whumpee having to do all of that, even feeling okay."

Whumper sighed, "they have to earn their keep somehow."

Caretaker sighed and glanced at Whumpee, who was loudly snoring.

"Look I know you befriended me to keep an eye on them", Whumper frowned, "you're very obvious about that", Whumper glanced at Whumpee, "they could have it worse, I could make their life a living nightmare if I wanted."

Whumper started to violently cough.

"Not very threatening when you sound like that", Caretaker grinned.

"Why you a...", Whumper croaked out, before Caretaker cut them off.

"Although you are correct that I keep very close tabs on Whumpee, and I will make moves to remove them... if you do anything, but", Caretaker looked back at Whumpee to see if they were awake.

"But?", Whumper impatiently waited.

"But, I feel deep somewhere in your twisted soul you do actually care about them", Caretaker slyly grinned, "I know Whumpee is in an odd situation with you, and not much can be changed about that, at least not without force. I hope that you can change how you treat them one day. That's why I haven't moved to remove them yet, and I come over to help as often as I can."

Whumper looked at Caretaker with disgust, then relaxed their face.

"I do actually care about you as well", Caretaker eyed Whumper, "believe it or not."

Whumper looked at Whumpee sadly, "I never wanted to be involved with them, and I was put in a situation I wanted no part of. Now I'm stuck."

Caretaker nodded, "then why didn't you let them go to someone else?"

"I didn't know who they would go to, I'm not the nicest to them", Whumper frowned, "I'm aware of that, but I couldn't chance them going to someone worse."

Whumpee started to stir.

Caretaker nodded at Whumper in understanding.

Whumpee whimpered as they sat up, "my head feels like a balloon."

"Mine too", Whumper sighed, and sniffled some snot, "great, now I'm doing it."

"Yep, it's time for more medicine, and how does dinner sound", Caretaker stood, and eyed Whumper.

"Sounds good, let's order in again", Whumper reached for their phone, "Caretaker I'll buy your dinner as well."

"That sounds great", Caretaker stated as they exited the room.

"Okay Whumpee", Whumper sighed, "after we get better, we are going to make some changes."

Whumpee gulped and looked at them in fear.

"I'm going to try my best to be nice", Whumper sighed, "I'm so...sorry for how I've treated you. We were put in a situation I'm sure neither of us wanted to be in. Let's work on bettering that situation."

Whumpee looked at them wide-eyed, a small smile crept along their face.

"I'd like that master", Whumpee felt a tear fall, "thankyou."

"You don't have to call me... wipe your nose", Whumper handed them a tissue, "Ugh, you don't have to call me that, just call me Whumper", they sighed, "we'll start there at least, I'll apologize in advance I'm going to have to work on myself for a while."

Whumpee fell into them to hug.

Whumper hugged back awkwardly.

As Whumpee sat back up, Whumper looked at the doorway.

"I know your eavesdropping Caretaker", Whumper called after them, "no one goes down stairs that quietly."

"I'm proud of you", Caretaker stated as they could be heard going down the stairs now.

"Alright lets stop with the soppiness and order dinner", Whumper looked at their phone again.

Whumpee nodded and looked over Whumper's shoulder at the phone.

"Dinner sounds good", they whispered.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all. @villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz @bloodyandfrightened

@a-wumper-on-the-internet you gave me this idea, I hope this is something you were looking for. I hope you enjoy. -Mj

[doctorluna]

hey, doctor luna! a friend of mine is a daycare bot and his son is "graduating" soon. what does that mean?

Oh! Well first off, congratulations to your friend - graduations are a very big deal for us former "baby bots" as it were! If your friend is a caretaker, he's probably feeling a lot of emotions right now. Complicated ones!

Graduation is the official term for when daycare children (the child-type models of our line) officially age into new adult bodies and start lives as the model they grew into. In short, your friend's son is officially all grown up now and will be getting a new adult body instead of his child model body! I'll place a cut here so as to be polite, since this might get rather long.

The process is fairly simple - as child models grow, their processes are - for lack of a better term - age gated. As we are intended to model human cognition/human growth cycles, the child models register our growth based on that and use that to determine when our bodies should be upgraded. Aka, after we've learned enough to be equivalent to an x-amount-of-years old child, we can have our bodies upgraded to match that accordingly. Typically we receive 3 total upgrades equivalent to human growth stages: start as toddler types, upgrade to child, upgrade to teenager. The last upgrade to adult is special, and we refer to that as Graduation.

When a child-type graduates, they are assigned an adult body equivalent to the field they show the most aptitude for. This is discovered by monitoring the child-type's progress as they go, and this is combined with the results of a final exam. Once that is complete, they get a final aptitude ranking and that is used to determine what type of adult body and assignment the child will receive.

For example, after... after my mother was infected, I spent a great deal of time ensuring I studied the medical field as hard as I could to ensure I would graduate into a medical type Reploid and find a cure for the virus. However, due to my hobbies and personality I also showed a good bit of aptitude for combat as well! So when I took my final exam, I could have been easily assigned a soldier-type body and from there to the Maverick Hunters proper. Luckily, I studied hard enough that my medical aptitude was stronger!

Thus, when I graduated, I was given a medical type body, put through medical school and assigned to my residency at St. Rock's. I'm told Surgical Heron actually requested to take me under his wing back then... a fact I am eternally grateful for.

[I should try to reach out to him soon, it feels like ages since I last spoke to him...]

Moving on - once we complete the exams and receive our final aptitude ranks, we gather up for a graduation ceremony. I'll be honest, I think this is more for the caretaker units than us. Most of us don't grow together after all, so this is likely just a celebratory "you finished growing and can now go be a normal reploid" type thing. Though admittedly it still felt a little special to be acknowledged and meet other Daycare children... after that, we're swapped into our adult bodies and given our next steps. For me, that was medical school!

Anyway, in summary:

Graduation is when child-type Daycare Reploids gain their adult bodies.

The type of adult we graduate into is determined by factors including childhood hobbies and personality that add up into aptitude (preference/ability for) various fields.

We also take a final exam as part of this to help solidify our aptitude for certain fields.

After the exam is complete, we receive a final aptitude ranking that determines what our final body type will be and what field we'll end up in.

We then attend our graduation ceremony to celebrate our impeding adulthood, and get swapped into our adult bodies.

Not too complicated, I hope! Thank you for your question. I hope that helped clarify things a little for you.

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

@thebrixtons​​​

News Anchor: As the royal engagement tour kicks off at the beginning of this month, all eyes are on the royal couple as they went all around the country, giving the people a chance to meet with the Crown Prince and his Crown Princess-to-be.

Child 1: Princess Lina, Princess Lina. Is being a Princess fun?

Catalina: Well, being a Princess is fun because I get to meet and play with you here.

Child 2: Can I be a Prince too? I wanna wear a crown like the one I see on TV!

Catalina: Of course you can! You can be a Princess or a Prince when you all feel better. So you better listen to your doctors and eat your medicines, alright?

Children: Okay!

Announcer: And the first place goes to Miss Zakir from the Literature department!

Alfie: Congratulations, Miss Zakir. You did great.

Farah: Thank you, your highness.

Caretaker:—and this is the throne room. The Silver throne has been sat by several generations of monarchs from House Frederick before the official residence was changed. 

Caretaker: It is said that the throne was made of silver fabrics gifted by the Emperor of Cordelia centuries ago when King Henry ascended to the throne.

Catalina: *whispering* Wow, you guys have a very strong relationship with the Cordelians.

Alfie: *whispering* I know. It’s kind of surprising honestly. They aren’t as supportive with other nations. We’re not sure why.

Caretaker: Now, onto the next room—

Catalina: Is the Prime Minister’s wife mad at me or am I overthinking this?

Alfie: I think she’s annoyed.

Catalina: What? Why? Did I do something wrong?

Alfie: I saw you using your index finger to point at something when talking to her. She’s older than you. It’s rude.

Catalina: Oh my god, I didn’t know! I wasn’t told about this when I was briefed earlier.

Alfie: Hey, don’t beat yourself up. It was an honest mistake. Just don’t do it again after this.

Catalina:...

Interviewer: What do you think of the Princess so far?

Person 1: I think she’s fine. I’ve seen videos of the children’s hospital visit and she’s quite good with the kids. They look comfortable with her.

Person 2: I was at the station on the first day. She was so friendly. I saw that she even took a bouquet from one of the people there!

Person 3: I don’t really know what to feel about her. Yes, she might be nice but that doesn’t erase what her family had done in the past. People still died because of her grandfather.

Maid 1: *whispering* I heard from one of Queen Mary’s staffs that she’s getting frustrated at Queen Sofia now.

Maid 2: Oh my god, why? Did something happen?

Maid 1: Apparently Queen Mary complained to one of her staffs that she thinks Queen Sofia is not taking this wedding planning thing seriously. She’s always late to meetings and by the end of the day, Queen Mary had to decide everything all by herself.

Dania: *clears throat*

Maid 1: *startled* Oh my god! Your majesty! W-we didn’t see you there.

Dania: Ladies, do you not have work to do? Why are we chatting here? Come on, get to work.

Maids: Yes, Miss Dania. Please, excuse us, ma’am.

Dania: I apologize for their behaviour, ma’am. I’ll have the head of staff reprimand them as soon as possible.

Sofia:...

Dania: Ma’am? Is everything alright? If you want me to do something about earlier—

Sofia: I don’t want to talk about it. I want to know how is the engagement tour going on now.

Dania: So far everything is going fine. Princess Catalina’s approval ratings are also increasing steadily. There are still people who aren’t fond of her but that is expected.

Sofia: Hm. Good. Have you contacted Mary’s assistant for the next meeting with the planner?

Dania: I have. I’ve contacted both Inej and Suong. Just in case.

Sofia: Right. I don’t want her to get frustrated with me if I missed a meeting in the future.

Dania:...of course.

[talesofstyles]

Drs Styles

paediatric heart surgeon harry, husband harry and dad harry. honestly the holy trinity.

warning: they did it in the car. bloody animals.

Harry

“Move your car, please!”

“What are you going to do? Write me a ticket?”

“This is in the interests of safety for the children!”

I look at the time in the car. I’ve still got about twenty to twenty-five minutes to watch this drama unfold at the school gate. I just wish we had popcorn because drop-off and parking situations at the school gates are always more entertaining than Good Morning Britain. 

The school gate is a strange social scene, and honestly, I don’t blame my wife for trying to avoid it like a plague. Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk to these people to know everything about their lives and more. I swear there are more gossips in the class WhatsApp group and daily playground chattering than in the copies of The Sun and Daily Mail combined. You know who’s married, who’s getting a divorce, whose husband shagged the au pair again, whose party you haven’t been invited to, even who’s looking for a builder. 

I see the school caretaker chuckling to himself as he sweeps the autumn leaves off the pathway, no doubt also enjoying our morning entertainment. 

“Why is Mrs Chambers screaming like that?” Alma, our eldest daughter, asks from the back of the car. 

“Because that man parks his car in a drop-off zone,” I reply, still watching him as he removes a child from his car seat. “Do you know who that is?”

“I think the boy is your classmate,” Alma turns to her sister.

Fiona, our youngest, peers over to inspect. “Oh yeah, that’s Rufus and his dad.”

“Do we like Rufus?”

“Not unless we like boys who pee down the slides,” Fiona scrunches her nose up. “He stood at the top and peed down like a waterfall. I haven’t gone down the slide ever since.”

I shake my head and let out a chuckle. “M’sure they’ve cleaned it up since, button.” 

Did you know that choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience? Well, it can. How is one supposed to choose a school anyway? According to the proximity? Leavers Results? Adorable uniforms? Parents’ agendas?

After many, many discussions and visits through more schools than I can count, we ended up with Thomas’s Kensington. It’s a great school, and only ten minutes away from our home, making school runs easier. The downside of this school is the fact that it costs us an arm and a leg and that they’re always trying to rip us off any chance they get. Also, they only take the kids until 11, so after that, we’ll have to look for other schools again. But since our girls are only seven and five, we can worry about that later. 

There’s a strange mix of parents at this place. I went to school up in the North and the school gate scene is nothing like this. Here there are more au pairs, fancy cars, nicer clothes and people coming with impressive tans from their last weekend break in Antibes. The kids here are suited up too: the PE kit is the size of a small weekender bag, and we put them in uniforms that make them look smart, hoping that will increase the size of their brains. A child walks past our car with a cello case, another with a hockey stick. It’s a different land here. One that my socialist in-laws constantly tease us about and one which my mum was hysterical about because she was scared her grandbabies would be little Tories. I promised her I’d keep them grounded by only giving them plain hobnobs. None of those luxury chocolate covered ones.

Jokes aside, my girls are happy here. They’re thriving. They learn French and Spanish and Mandarin, even if they share a class with kids who have ridiculous names like Kitty and Archibald. 

A knock at my window calls me to attention. I wind it down.

“Are you Fiona’s dad?” A mum asks me.

“I am.”

“It’s about Ophelia’s riding party this Saturday at the riding stables.” 

Like I said, it’s a different land here.

“I thought we RSVPed to that?” I look at her in confusion.

“Yes, you did, but we have to change the food options as one of the partygoers is allergic to nuts. I’m making everyone aware and we need to let the guests know that they can’t bring any nuts on the day.”

A dirty joke is right there on the tip of my tongue and I’m trying my hardest to keep it in. My wife would definitely find it funny though, I’ve got to remember this and tell her later. 

“Noted,” I mean, I wasn’t going to send my daughter to a party with a packet of cashews anyway but I nod politely.

“And just gift vouchers for gifts please. Smiggle, if you can.”

Again, I nod, biting my tongue at the presumptuousness. But then I suddenly panic, because we haven’t entered the realms of pony riding just yet. Do I have to buy jods and boots? If I don’t, will my daughter be the odd one out? But Ophelia’s mum saunters off before I’ve got the chance to ask.

“Do I have to go to that party, daddy?” Fiona asks. 

“Well, we’ve already replied, poppet,” I tell her. “Did you not want to go?”

“I’ll go if I have to.”

I don’t answer because I get distracted by a vacant space. I edge the car forward so my girls can hop off. 

“I love you both. Have a good day, make good choices.” 

“Bye daddy! We’ll see you after work!”

***

Evelina London Children’s Hospital is our second home. Of course, as a children’s hospital, we try to make the place as fun as possible as not to freak those little patients out at being ill. It is bright and primary coloured, and each ward is decorated according to its own theme with different colours and lovely artworks. There are televisions and toys almost in every corner. We have a giant slide on the ground floor, and even the bins are shaped like red London buses. The aim was to help the children to forget that they’re in a hospital and take their minds off their sickness.

Since my wife and I are in the same department, our offices are next to each other, both overlooking the Thames. It’s nice up here. Would’ve been nicer if we could sneak in a quickie, but that’s practically impossible with our shared secretary’s desk sitting literally in front of our doors. 

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning. Here’s your tea,” my secretary follows me into my office with a cup of tea and a tiny plate with a couple of rich tea fingers. “Clinic until 3 pm, scheduled PDA ligation in the laboratory for 4 pm and then evening rounds on the wards.”

“Mornin’ Rhonda, you look lovely today,” I greet her cheerily. She’s a stern-looking woman who definitely likes her tea as strong as tits and who has probably never cried in her life. With such severity, she runs a tight ship, but she secretly has this affectionate side in her too. Not only is she a great secretary, but she also takes care of us in a way as a grandma does. She makes us tea, feeds us in between surgeries with biscuits or nice baby cheeses and crackers just so we wouldn’t starve. 

See that sofa over there in the corner of my office? Rhonda got me that. It was around the time when I had just become a new father with the sweetest, most gorgeous little baby who did not sleep. Alma wasn’t a fussy baby though. For some reason, she just wouldn’t go back to sleep after her midnight feed for months. Believe me, I tried everything. I changed her nappy, I swayed and jiggled and rocked and sung her to sleep. Odd nonsensical songs like, ‘Alma darling go to sleeep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Pleeeeease. I’m so tirrrred. My eyeballs may actually exploooode. I don’t want you to see thaaat.’ And she would just look at me all wide-eyed like I’d lost the plot. Those were song lyrics? That was rubbish. Please don’t give up your day job. Also, it’s not sleeping time. I’m awake. I’m ready for life. Come on, entertain me, old man. Isn’t this nice, just you and me? Tell me everything you know. EVERYTHING. 

Except of course she didn’t say all that. She would just stare at me and I had no idea what was going on in her little head. 

I took over my wife’s patients at the hospital during her maternity leave, so I had longer hours at the hospital. One day Rhonda found me napping on the floor between surgeries, so she sweet-talked some porters into looking for any old sofas on the go and paid to have this one reupholstered. She even bought me a fleece throw for it too. We really don’t deserve her.

“You hittin’ on me?” She deadpans. “Yer wife not doing it for you these days?”

“It’s the blazer. I’m a sucker for a blazer.”

“If I’d known, I would’ve worn it more often,” she replies. “Did my nice dress yesterday not give you the fanny flutters?”

“It’s schlong shiver for me,” I roar with laughter. “And it’s the tartan, makes you look well old.”

“YN, yer husband’s a bloody git, did I ever tell you that?” Rhonda says loud enough for my wife to hear, and I can hear my wife’s laughter from her office next door. “Drink your tea. Your first clinic appointment is in twenty.”

“Yes ma’am,” I salute her. 

***

The Arctic ward in the Evelina is home to many of our imaging, heart and kidney services. The name is probably giving it away, but everything is decorated in blue and white to go with the theme. We have several zones, and since paediatric cardiology clinics are held in the Walrus zone, I spend a great deal of time each day looking at walrus and snowflake decals. 

“Doctor Styles!” I hear a little voice shouts in excitement as I walk towards the waiting room in the outpatient ward. I smile, because I recognise that voice even before I see the little person.

The waiting room is very open here compared to other hospitals. There’s a sea of noise, snacks, tiny juice boxes and colouring pages. There’s also always a look of expectation, judgement on the faces of parents and guardians every time I walk in. They want to see if their doctor is old or qualified enough to see their children. There’s always one child who has the whole gang with them; parents, two sets of grandparents and even several aunts and uncles, and there’s also at least one child running around in circles out of boredom. 

This little lad bounces off his chair and hurls himself at me in a way like a little puppy would when its owner comes home from work. I put an arm out, hoping that he’ll apply the brakes but no such luck and he bundles himself into my arms. “Nice to see you, mate.”

His parents smile as they watch their son’s antics, who then runs off as I shake their hands. I turn around to see what caught his attention, and I can’t help but chuckle when I realise it’s my wife. 

“Doctor pretty Styles!” He exclaims excitedly as he bundles himself into her arms. She gets a mouthful of curls in the process. 

“Hi Rory,” she greets him as she runs her fingers through his curly mop. 

“Oi,” I pout as I walk towards them. “You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“Your wife is prettier,” he says with a shrug, his tone matter-of-fact.

She laughs and gives him a high-five. “Rory, you are officially my favourite patient.”

She is right. Rory is one of our special patients for sure. We’ve both known him for about six years now, ever since Rory’s mum gave birth to this tiny human next door at St Thomas and his heart was literally broken. I remember watching proudly from the theatre when my wife replaced two of his valves when he was born. It was in our early years of training. Long time patients like Rory almost always feel like family. We’ve seen all their parents’ tears and watched over their children throughout the years. They send us cards and wine every Christmas and despite all attempts to keep a professional distance, their kids do feel like our own.

Rory shrugs off his dinosaur rucksack and unzips it, pulling out a drawing of a blue whale and an opened packet of KitKat. I like that the whale wears a top hat and appears to also don a moustache. 

“I drew you both a picture. Only one though, because I figure you can share,” he says with a big toothy grin and hands the packet of KitKat to my wife. “And I’ve got half a KitKat here. Do you want it?”

“I’m good for now. Keep that KitKat for later on the tube,” she smiles and waves at Rory as she begins to walk away towards the fetal cardiology ward just down the hall. “Bye Rory, thanks for the picture.”

“Bye doctor pretty Styles,” Rory replies, making my wife laugh as she walks away. I give her a wave and a wink. 

“Hey Rory, did you know a blue whale has a heart the size of a small car?” I ask him and his eyes widen.

“No way! That’s mega!” He exclaims. “Do you think you could operate on a whale heart?”

“I would need a very big ladder,” I tell him. “And a wetsuit. I’d give it a go though.”

A senior nurse from the outpatient ward, Florence approaches us with a junior nurse trailing behind her. “Dr Styles, always a pleasure.”

I smile at her. “Florence. How are we today?”

“Busy as usual,” she replies. “We’re about twenty minutes behind I’m afraid. We had Dr Goodridge in this morning and you know he likes to talk.”

“He always runs over,” I chuckle. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and get us back up to speed.”

“I’ll make sure to send some snacks for you. Here’s your chart, your files are already in your office. And this is Alice, your nurse today. She’s newly qualified so might need some instructions.”

The new nurse looks terrified so I smile at her to try and calm her fears. I totally get that. When you work in medicine, unfortunately, you’ll realise that there are a lot of rude self-important wankers. 

I look down at my chart and find Rory’s name on the top of the list. “Well, look who’s coming with me to the exam room.”

Rory reaches out to hold my hand and we walk towards the examination room. His parents follow us closely, carrying the usual coats and devices that people do when they know they’re bound for a hospital waiting room. I see them inside and sit behind the desk.

“So, young man, I hear we’ve had a touch of drama with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

I’ve actually already got the information in the file, but I like the way this kid tells a story. He reminds me of my youngest. 

“So… I was at school and we were doing PE and I wasn’t really feeling it because it was cold and really we should have been inside but Mr Witter makes us go outside because he used to be in the Army apparently and he says we should get used to the cold but that’s what they do in prisons.”

I smile. “Go on.”

“And then my heart started running.”

“You mean racing?”

He nods firmly. Racing isn’t even the word. It sprinted to the finish like Bolt at 252 beats per minute, three times the speed it should.

“It felt like bubbles in my chest and then the school went crazy panicky and they called the ambulance and they brought me to the hospital but not this one, it was another one and it wasn’t as good because you weren’t there and they had really bad biscuit.”

His mum adds. “And they gave him some drugs to bring it back to a steady rhythm; they were close to shocking him.” Her voice trails off and both parents’ faces look drawn and pale remembering the incident.

Rory looks absolutely unbothered by this. To be fair, we have put this little man through everything. We’ve cut his chest open more times than is necessary for someone so small, we hook him up to machines and put him on treadmills. His resilience and character amaze me, and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to see your child so vulnerable and helpless, to be paralysed and weighed down with such worry.

“Alright then, little man, we need to make sure that your heart is working as it should. This is Alice, and she is going to take you over for an ECG and we just need to make sure your tick-tock is in good shape.”

Rory nods and jumps off the chair. His dad offers him a piggyback, and his mum smiles at them. I can hear Rory offering that half KitKat to Alice as they leave the room. 

His mother turns to me as the door is closed, her shoulders relaxing, allowing herself to breathe. “And how are you?” I ask her.

“You just think it’s done and then something like that comes along to scare you,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s have these tests and then see if it’s anything major to worry about,” I try to calm her. “Episodes of rapid heartbeat is quite common in Rory’s case, and we can look into drugs to remedy that if necessary.”

She smiles, nodding.

“Did you have any other questions for me?”

She studies my face for a moment too long. “I… well, it will show up in Rory’s records soon, but my husband I are… I mean we’re getting a divorce.”

I pause for a moment. Of course, I know these things happen in life, but I’ve known this couple for years. I’ve seen them at their lowest ebb, bound by friendship and their love for that boy. I really do feel sorry for them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“We just… we’re terrified about telling Rory.”

“He doesn’t know?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “We’re scared of breaking him. I mean, look at him. All of this stuff he’s been through and he carries on like nothing has happened. We don’t want to upset him.”

“It took a team of us the best part of six years to build Rory’s heart. There's a warranty on that workmanship,” I reassure her. “Have that chat with him. He’ll be fine.”

***

“Have we got time for dinner first?” I turn to my wife as we walk out of the hospital. We don’t normally have the luxury of ending our shift at the same time, but today is exceptional. We have parents’ evening at the girls’ school so Rhonda made sure to clear up our schedule after our evening rounds at the ward. 

“No, but we can raid M&S and eat in the car?”

I’m starving and I almost cry with relief at the suggestion. “Always knew I married the right woman.”

She chuckles. “Damn right you did.”

We leave the car at the hospital and she drags me along the walkways to Waterloo, the breeze biting at our cheeks. I pull her into M&S, dodging the marching commuters and grab a basket. 

“I’ll look for some wine,” she says before she saunters off. “Oh and I want sushi. None of that crap with the mayonnaise please.”

“Alright.”

I skipped lunch today so the whole place calls to me. I start taking very random things off the shelves: a packet of raspberry iced buns. That’ll do. I also take some hummus for my wife because she bloody loves hummus. I’m not even joking, I’ve seen her down a whole pot of it. Then I take some sushi as requested, some coleslaw, a family bag of mature cheddar and red onion crisps and a trifle. I hope I don’t bump into Rhonda. Next are cheese twists, noodle salad and cocktail sausages. 

It takes me a while to notice that there is a man right next to me with a roll of yellow stickers in their back pocket. Hello there, you are one of my favourite people tonight. Have I managed to find that sacred hour when all the food is being marked down? He labels some prawns with dip and even though I get a little squeamish about eating fish near its expiry date, I put it in my basket. I then follow him around the corner. Now, this is dinner. I put all sorts of random food in my basket and smile at the thought.

Ooh, knockdown pizzas. I should get a pizza. That’s tomorrow’s tea sorted, the girls will love it. Although I can’t help but wonder, what’s the limit for us to feed our daughters frozen pizza in a week before they get taken away from us? But eh, we might be able to get away with it if we give them frozen peas on the side. 

“Look at you,” says my wife, depositing two bottles of red in the basket. 

“Yes, it’s me. I’m the yellow sticker bitch.”

She snickers as we turn to head for the tills. “Excellent work.”

***

“Mr and Mrs Styles, welcome.”

“Mrs Ebner, always a pleasure,” I shake the headmistress’ hand who’s standing at the door. 

“Busy evening?” My wife asks her as she shakes her hand next.

“Always,” the headmistress replies with a smile, then proceeds to speak like she’s reading out of brochures. “But such a wonderful opportunity to connect with our parents and build on the special relationships we have with our school community.” 

Two uniformed minions appear.

“Lewis, Maggie, could you please show Mr and Mrs Styles through to the drinks reception?”

They both nod in unison. The boy holds his arms out like a waiter showing us to our table. We follow them through the school’s grand corridors to the main hall. It’s the one thing I like about this place. It’s very Hogwarts-like with hefty engraved name boards and sepia photos of successful sports teams. In the hall, a throng of parents mill around waiting to see respective teachers. It’s the same every year. We all dodge the people from the PTA trying to sell us quiz tickets, and the bowls of crisps out of hygiene concerns.

“Red or white?” Asks a lady in an apron.

This right here is the very reason we get through parents’ evening. From the look of the bottle, it’s decent wine too. I think that’s where a good proportion of our fees is going. 

“Red, please.”

We both take our glasses and walk to the corner of the hall. It’s essentially a holding area without the background music. The idea is that all the parents will get on and create a party vibe but it just becomes a strange family gathering. As terrible as it sounds, it’s sorted into cliques: parents who know each other via NCT groups, the international expat brigades who keep to themselves, the parents who’ve ostracised themselves by gossip, the ones who you know regularly brunch and ski together.

The boy from earlier suddenly appears in front of us. “Mrs Hughes is ready for you.”

I put my hand on the small of my wife’s back as we walk towards the classroom. Fiona’s teacher first and then Alma’s straight after. Right, we can do this.

“Mrs Hughes, we meet again,” I shake her hand. I’ve got no qualms about Mrs Hughes. She’s a seasoned teacher who likes a slack and sensible moccasin and we’re familiar with her since she taught Alma two years previously. When we enter the classroom, Lewis bows in reverence, taking his leave and I wonder whether to tip him. 

“It’s always lovely to have another Styles girl in my classroom. Fiona is a particular delight.”

My wife and I smile proudly. I’m sure Mrs Hughes says this to every parent here about their child, but that’s always nice to hear. 

“She talks a lot about you,” my wife says. “She seems to have settled in well.”

Mrs Hughes opens up a couple of books and it’s classic Fiona. Alma is ordered and neat—if she makes a mistake then she erases it completely and she underlines things with a ruler and listens to instruction carefully. She gets that from her mum. Fiona though, on the other hand, she’s all me. She has more wild abandon about her; no rulers, no rubbers. She puts giant crosses through things that don’t work and likes her bubble writing decorated with doodles of many, many cats.

I glance around the classroom as Mrs Hughes talks to us about standardised scores. The theme of the school is to show you how smart and educated these children are. Look at the copperplate handwriting, their reproductions of Van Gogh and our languages corner where they’ve all had a go at telling us what they like in French. I spy a contribution from my girl. J’adore les chats et le gâteau au chocolat. 

I’ve lost track of the conversation so I try to catch up.

“So to push Fiona into those top scores, perhaps we can look into tutoring? For maths, in particular, so she can grasp some of the concepts a little more tightly,” says Mrs Hughes. 

My wife and I look at each other confused. “Uh, I don’t think there’s a need, right? She’s only five.”

“It’s never too early,” replies Mrs Hughes. “We run an after-school tutoring club on Tuesdays that would help.”

Back when I was a youngster, clubs were fun endeavours that involved matching baseballs caps or were a chocolate biscuit that you had in your lunchbox. Maths tutoring session was not a club.

I ask her. “Is it free?”

“It’s fifteen pounds per session.”

See? My point being this should be a parents’ evening, not a sales session.

“Well, then it’s something to think about,” says my wife. “It could be that Fiona catches up with people throughout the year.”

“Possibly,” Mrs Hughes nods. Still, though, she proceeds to go into her folder and passes me a form. Sneaky. “Fiona has also shown great interest in languages and art. Her pictures have been a joy.”

Mrs Hughes goes to a file and pulls one of Fiona’s drawings. I glance down at it. It’s a standard child piece of art. The grass and sky are strips of colour to the top and bottom. It’s a family portrait, and we are as tall as the broccoli style trees. Wait, hang on a second. I count the number of people in the picture again. Is that-

“And Mrs Styles, I gather congratulations are in order,” she says with a smile. “Such lovely news.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fiona told me it’s a boy,” she adds, and the sheer terror on my wife’s face at the realisation is priceless. “You must be very thrilled.”

I study the picture. There’s a house in the middle, and standing in a line in front of the house is our family. The one slightly taller than the broccoli tree is me. I’ve got my white lab coat, and I look like a serial killer because I’m holding a scalpel with the size of a butcher’s knife. Next to me is my wife, also with a white lab coat, but instead of a scalpel, she’s holding a very chunky baby who rather looks like a basketball with a head.

“Oh dear,” I chuckle. “Guess now we know what she’ll ask for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” my wife shakes her head. “We’re not expecting.”

“Oh, I apologise,” Mrs Hughes says with a sheepish smile.

“No worries, Mrs Hughes,” I tell her. “So, what else has our girl been up to here? Besides gossiping of course.”

Mrs Hughes laughs under her breath. “Well, in class, Fiona is attentive, bright and very helpful. She is a credit to you both.”

***

“I swear your daughter, Styles.”

We’re sitting in the car now. Finally done with parents’ evening, still laughing at the slightly creepy, chunky basketball baby in Fiona’s picture and the fact that three people, including Mrs Hughes, have congratulated us for the ‘baby’.

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to the good ol’ days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt. 

“Well, after that I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would be confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige. 

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to her and gives me a kiss. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

The next thing I know, she undoes her seatbelt and then rolls her trousers down her legs along with her knickers, fumbling and giggling at the awkward movement. I push my seat back and pull my trousers down. 

“Don’t fall on gearstick now,” I joke as she climbs over to straddle me. “Well, unless you want to, of course…”

She laughs as she lowers herself over my lap. I really can’t believe what’s happening here.

“Mrs Styles, we’re about to have sex in a car. Around the corner from our daughters’ school.” 

“I know,” she says with a smile before she runs her tongue along my neck. “Not our first rodeo though.”

“Oh right, we did it in our Volvo years ago, didn’t we? Thought the suspension couldn’t take it.”

“And it turned out fine. Told you that you needed to have more faith in the Swedes, they’re a reliable breed.”

“I love it when you talk about Sweden.”

“Ikea.”

“Fuck.”

“Meatballs.”

“Billy Bookcase.”

She throws her head back in laughter and I take this as an opportunity to run my tongue along her collar bone. She gasps. I reach down to lift her before I slowly lower her over my cock. We both sigh as I enter her, a long exhalation with our lips barely touching. 

“Viggo Mortensen.”

“Isn’t he Danish?”

“Tomato, Tomahto.”

I smile at my wife and push my hips up, silently telling her that we don’t need to talk about Swedish people anymore. She grabs onto the car seat and levers herself up and down. I look at her in the eye, a goofy smile still plastered across my face.

But then I squint. Light. Bollocks, what’s that? Where’s that light coming from? Crap, that’s bright. Shit. I see the flash of a hi-vis jacket, a knock at the window and someone shaking their head.

Oh sodding fucking bollocking shit wank.