#the doctor had a whole convo with me about it

[meulia]

hate going to the doctor these days because they always ask u if u have depression or anxiety. none of ur damn business can u plz just look at my sore throat ???

[stupid-lemon-eater]

if i can say one thing for the pile of bullshit life has served me, at least i can get medical attention very quickly

[monstersflashlight]

Commission for @lavender-constellation

A/N: Thank you so much for commissioning again! Means a whole lot <3 Hope you like it, it was super fun to write.

Request: Two Co workers in an office setting where they have to work closely together every day, one is a male!werewolf, the other is a fem!bunny girl that experiences heat. Bunnygirl is going through heat, trying to focus on the task and trying not to run to the bathroom to masturbate. Werewolf notices this, they have a convo about her being in heat, and werewolf offers to help her out. She almost says yes but says no and is afraid it would be unprofessional, he gets closer to her and rubs her clit and she relents for the chance at relief and to focus back on work. He fingers her and eats her out in her cubicle. Aaaaand more scenes of him “helping” her out until eventually they just start fucking at her apartment before work It becomes an at least twice a day thing for the duration of her heat, half the time in The cubicle half the time in his car, both trying to convince themselves it’s just so she can focus on work again,(though werewolf is a little smug about it) and the werewolf is just helping her out as a coworking favor, nothing more, but they’re both secretly catching feelings.

The key to productivity

Werewolf x fem!werebunny || heat, oral sex, fingering, knotting, semi-public sex, dub-con (kinda?)

You told your doctor you were feeling weird and the blood tests came back positive. You were going into heat, and your suppressants stopped working. He told you he could give you different ones, but you would have to ride at least two heats before that. You tried to argue that you couldn’t do it, you had to work, you had stuff to do… But there was no other way around it.

That’s how you find yourself in the middle of your stupidly boring desk job shift when the first wave hit. You think you are dealing okay with it, moving a bit more than normal, but everything is going as normally would. The world feels a bit off, but you convince yourself you can do it. Nobody has to know. You can ride the heat off and be okay after it. You can. You are a strong werebunny and you can get through that and more. Totally…

Surprisingly for anybody: you cannot.

Your cubicle coworker, a big werewolf that you might or might not have a crush on is the first one to notice. “Why are you so restless?” He asks in the middle of your day.

You turn your chair around and look at him trying to look confused as you deny it. “I- I’m not restless.” As you say it, you start feeling the blush creeping at your cheeks, your ears twitching.

“Yes, you are. And,” he sniffs the air, “aroused?” You blush harder. “Are you going into heat?” His tone is teasing and you want to kick that stupid grin off his face. “Can I help?” He grins at you, such a puppy gesture that you want to kiss his stupid snout as he shows you his canines.

“What do you mean?” You ask, confused. There’s no way he’s offering what you think he’s offering, is it? There’s no way a big handsome werewolf like he wants you, a werebunny nobody. No way.

But to your surprise, he just rationalizes it. “We need to finish this project today, and we can’t if you keep being jumpy and stressed and clearly restless. Let me help. Smelling how wet you are I bet it won’t even take that long.” The way he says it like it meant nothing should have been offending, but instead it turns you on more, your pussy twitching over nothing as you whined low. You cover your mouth instantly, embarrassed. “Come on, it’s just sex between coworkers, just some friendly... helping out.” His tone is teasing but there’s a hint of heat under it.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage of you just because I smell…” You lower your tone, “like arousal.” You have to spit the last part out because you are so embarrassed you don’t even want to know how red your face is.

“I offered, remember? Also, you smell fucking delicious, I could eat you whole.” His confession makes you want to squirm, your brain sending alarm bells because of butterflies taking flight inside your tummy, but you ignore them. “Is that a yes? Can I touch your wet pussy?” His smirk is even more teasing now, and your pussy twitches again, your clit demanding attention.

You blush as you ask: “Why do you need to be so… crude?” His words are turning you on but you don’t want him to know that.

He smirks bigger, all his teeth showing and making you squirm under his heated eyes. “You like it, I can smell the spike of arousal when I tell you dirty things.” He sniffs the air and makes a humming noise, like he’s savoring your smell.

“Yo- You can?” You choked out, surprised by that but also embarrassed about it.

“Yes, I can. Your smell turns sweeter when I talk about licking your clit and finger fucking your tight pussy.” You groaned at his words, his crudeness indeed doing it for you. Damn him for being so fucking hot and filthy. And damn you for finding it extra hot.

“Okay,” you whisper. “You can help me.” In the back of your brain, there’s a voice saying that is going to be a bad idea, but you ignore that too, the voice that tells you to let him fuck you senseless is a lot louder.

“Hell yeah!” His enthusiasm shocks you, but you don’t have time to say anything. “Come here.” He didn’t let you move your chair, he grabbed it and pulled, positioning it next to his across the cubicle. You groaned, the manhandling apparently doing it for you, too. Good goddess, why was everything he did so hot?

He parts your legs with a forceful pull, making you groan and cover your mouth with your hand, once again dying of embarrassment. He chuckles and goes for it. You were never so happy to have worn a skirt in your life. He doesn’t even take your panties off, he pulls them to the side and starts rubbing your clit like a pro.

You are muffling your sounds as he chuckles and keeps going, acting uninterested as you squirm under his ministrations. Not two seconds later he has a finger in your pussy as his thumb circles over your oversensitive clit. And then he adds a finger, and by the time he has three, not even a minute has passed. Your pussy is so eager to get his attention that it feels like it’s claiming him, like it doesn’t want to let him go. And you… You can’t deny how good it is, how fucking filthy it feels to be finger fucked in the middle of the work day, in your cubicle, by tour werewolf coworker who you might or might not have a crush on.

And when he leans down and whispers against your ear: “You smell so fucking sweet. Can’t wait to eat you out.” The way he just assumes that’s gonna happen it’s what does it. As soon as he says that, you are coming around his fingers. The dirtiness of the situation making you orgasm in less than two minutes, how embarrassing. When you come down from the high he looks at you and asks softly: “Do you feel better?” You nod, too shy to say something.

He gets back to work and so do you. And it does help, you feel a lot more focused for a couple hours. But after that you go back to being restless and needy, your pussy sensitive and your panties dripping wet. This time around he goes under the table and eats you out until you are panting against your hand and your chair is so wet you have to get tissues to clean it afterwards.

That continues for a couple days. It starts only in the cubicle, but soon turns into hourly toilet trips, he tails after you like an eager puppy. It shouldn’t make you so happy, but it does. He finger fucks you, sucks your clit and pinches your nipples. He learns every single erogenous zone in your body and plays you like a fine instrument.

Every. Single. Hour.

By the third day, he suggests following you home to help you out a bit more. He goes down on you for at least three hours, making humming noises as he enjoys himself. You try to return the favor, but he stops you, going down on you once again and grunting as he jerks off while at it. You can’t think of anything more erotic than him jerking himself off with his big paw as he eats you out until his face is shiny with your juices. Having him there… Like that… It’s driving you a bit insane.

It’s the day before your heat ends when you start feeling it worse than ever, the last spike of It making you feel restless and anxious. You won’t stop moving, your legs bouncing up and down non stop and making him look at you with concern in his eyes. He fingers you under your desk once again, making you come messily as his other hand rubs your nipples over your dress. But it’s not enough, not nearly enough.

He helps you out like that two more times before you start whining. It’s too much but not nearly enough, and his concerned face only grows and grows. You don’t know what to tell him, your forehead is sweaty and your pussy is so wet you can feel it sticking to your chair. It makes you feel disgusting, but you can’t do nothing but to roll your hips in an effort to relieve some pressure, without any luck.

“Let’s get out of here,” he tells you after hearing you sigh for the thousand times in ten minutes. His eyes on you only make the heat stronger, your pussy wetter.

You look at him, your eyes unfocused, brain fuzzy. “What?” You look at him scandalized. There’s no way he’s suggesting what you think he’s suggesting.

“You need relief and I have a perfectly big car outside with tinted windows where I can knot you sweet pussy and get you more… focused.” You blush hard at his choice of words, your ears twitching at the top of your head. He’s right, you know he’s right, but you’ve never been knotted, what if…

“I’ve never been knotted,” you confess. He growls at you and you blush harder, the heat in his eyes turning molten lava when he looks down at you.

“That ends today.” He pulls at your arm and you try to suppress a giggle at his insistence. “Let’s go.”

Before you can think twice about it, or more like before your heat-fuzzy head lets you understand what’s fully happening, you are naked and spread in the back of his car. He pushes your legs against your chest, folding you almost completely and going right for your pussy. You’d never know somebody who enjoyed oral as much as him, good goddess does he love to eat pussy, specifically yours… And you can’t complain about it. He’s great at it and you are cumming before he has even two fingers inside your pussy.

When he comes back for air and looks up at you from between your legs, his face is all shiny with your juices and his perfect fucking smirk is showing all his canines, making a spark of danger grow inside of you and sending your arousal even higher.

“Please…” You beg in a broken moan, that’s the only word you can get out. Your heat-induced brain is completely off line seeing him like that, seeing him like the representation of lust and deprivacy. He’s your best wet dream turned into reality, and it’s driving you insane.

He seems to see something in your face because he’s suddenly smiling tenderly at you and unbuttoning his pants. “Okay, okay, I’ve got you.” His dick is so big, you’ve seen it before when he was jerking himself as he fingered you in the cubicle, but nothing could have prepared you for the feel of it.

He starts pushing inside slowly but surely, his dick so big you want to scream, but he covers your mouth before you can do it. He starts fucking you at a slow pace, letting you accommodate his girth, but it’s not enough. It feels like torture for you.

You urge him to go faster, harder, but it’s just a muffled moan against his palm. He seems to understand you either way, chuckling and complying. He fucks into you deep and hard, hitting your G-spot with every thrust and making your eyes roll back into your head as he grunts with every thrust.

“Are you ready?” You nod fervently, licking his hand and rolling your hips against his dick buried deep inside of you.

Your scream is muffled by his hand when the knot starts expanding in you. It’s exhilarating, way more than you expected. So big, so much, so wonderful… And then he starts coming in you and you feel every little twitch and spur of his come, making you dizzy with pleasure as you come and come and come… It feels like the longest and strongest orgasm of your life.

When the knot goes down and he helps you get back into your dress, slowly caressing your body while at it, you realize two things: 1) You could never live through a heat without a knot ever again, and 2) You might be a bit in love with your werewolf coworker.

Fuck.

Reminder that you can also commission me (info here).

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife #10 : Snack Time

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Momma bird hungry for all the snacks in the world. Takes some time and frustration before Joel figures out the exact kind of snack you really want.

Warnings: Pregnant reader, Angry!Joel, oral M!receiving, face fucking, throat bulge, throat-pie, dumbification, junk food binge, eating meat, bossy reader as always

18+ ONLY

- - - -

Joel didn’t know he married the Hungry Hungry Hippo, Galactus the planet devourer, Garfield the tabby cat.

You’re on your phone texting while cuddling Joel. He’s more interested in the movie than you are, but that doesn’t stop him from tracing his finger along your arm, occasionally kissing the top of your head and nuzzling his nose. He loves the scent of your shampoo after a wash, damp and cold against his warm chest. Sometimes you protest how closely he wants to cuddle you, all smushed up on the couch. Your body temp skyrocketed with the baby changing everything. But since he’s keep the AC on full blast, your warm heavy body keeps him from being a popsicle.

The landlines chimes in from the kitchen.

He rolls his eyes. Of course, something to interrupt the comfort that took 40 minutes for you to settle into. "I'll get it,” He grumbles quickly and hoists himself up off the couch. He wants to make whoever the fuck is calling at such a late hour a quick convo. If it’s fucking Tommy needing bailed out again, he thinks begrudgingly, I’ll just hang up on him. 

He clears his throat and answers: “Hello, Miller Residents.”

"Can you get me a bowl of Cap'n crunch while you're up?"

He glances back over at you sitting up on the couch, your cell to your ear as you wave at him. you point to your belly mouthing I T S  F O R  T H E  B A B Y.

It’s for the baby, my ass. You’ve been a hungry hungry hippo who’s been snacking like crazy and ignoring the doctor’s warnings. 

But cranky Momma is way worse than a scolding doctor. 

He grits his teeth and slams the receiver a little too hard down on the desk.

You can hear him shuffling around in the kitchen, a clash of a bowl on the counter  and the jingle of overly processed cereal filling it up. 

He walks back into the living room. You’ve taken up the whole couch now, with no inclination to move over to let him back on.

You shove a fist into the bowl and pop a bunch of the crunchy orange squares into your mouth “f’anks” you mumble, eyes not once making contact with him as you stare ahead and much away. Crumbs fall onto your chest and down to the floor and sofa, as if Joel hadn’t just cleaned all of it this morning.

.

The next night, Joel's cooking some steaks. You weren’t really a meat-crazed person, having maybe one or two helpings of poultry or occasionally red beef a week, but normally ,you could go without it for a few meals without thinking about it. 

Pregnant momma? She was a fucking carnivore. He had barely set the sizzling steak down before you snatch one onto your plate. He turns around to slice into one, checking its temp before serving, only to see it was a bit too red and bloodied on the inside.

"Oh babe I gotta cook these a little longer; they're too rare--"

You were hacking away and tearing a large chunks of the red, near pulsing meat, juices pouring out your lips, a vampire gorged on a fat blood sucking meal. Despite its tenderness, you chew endlessly and stare off into the table like a Llama enjoying its food on the field. 

"Maybe...we should—slow down a bit,” he suggests with uncertainty. His fork and knife frozen in midair, still in each hand. He hasn’t shifted view or blinked, but clear worry (and maybe a tad bit of fear) stretch across his face.

"Uighgrrfmggmmdeeofxsw,” you reply with gargled cow remains sloshing in your wide open trap. 

 “Right. That."

You swallow what’s left. Joel’s does a double take: your steak is somehow gone, juice licked clean off the plate in front of you.

“Can I have yours???"

He had only sliced 4 cuts  for himself so far. But the hungry look in your pupils, licking your lips while watching his dinner, it’s clear you’ve answered for him. He sadly sets his cutlery down and slides his plate to you. 

Its even more interesting when you douse it in salt and throw a slab of butter on top of it, watching it melt before slicing a big chunk off.

"You gotta watch the salt intake—“

“—Can you make chicken? I want chicken now.”

“N-no,” he shakes his head, whiplash from the conversation. Maybe you’ve gone def AND blind AND lost your taste buds. “I made steak. You've had 2 steaks now. Why do you need chicken?”

“That second one was for the baby. The chicken is for me.”

“What about the fist one?”

“….We split that.”

“Awfully hungry baby,” he says with a dead tone, straight faced as he eats the one roll left in the basket that hasn’t been devoured by you. 

“Well she’s yours, isn’t she?” 

-

You wipe your face with a napkin, a fried chicken leg and wing now securely packed tight in your tum tum along with the famished baby.

"What's for dessert?" You chime eagerly.

Joel turns to wash the dishes, hiding his smirk. He’s got you now, no surprise cravings will catch him short on this one: He boasts proudly, “I bought you apple pie--"

"I want cupcakes. Whip cream icing. Chocolate.”

His grin quickly deflates into a frown. “No.” He says sternly, a little aggravated. “I bought you pie—“

"Did I say I want pie? L I S T E N,” you snap, slapping your palms together with each syllable. 

He puts his foot down with tense sudsy hands going to his hips. “No. I'm not going out again.”

You raise your eyebrows threateningly. One look.

30 minutes later Joel is shuffling into the house with a pack of 12 cupcakes he bought at the bakery.

-

You’ve managed to prop yourself up on the couch after some heaving. “Ha! The baby is making me workout get strong! Obviously that’s why I’m so hungry.” You shrug it off. “Oh! I want raw cookie dough.”

Joel was on his phone the entire time, but the second you said I want, his brain queued in and he quickly retorts, “No.”

He goes back to replaying the voicemail he missed, settled and focused on the opposite couch.

Of course he Doesn't realize you’ve somehow lumbered up past him and now waddling back with 4 chunks of raw cookies in your hand, popping them in your mouth one at a time.

His eyes dark up to watch you, transfixed on the screen as you bend your knees, hardly paying attention to the way you’re about to fall on the couch. He has half the mind to help, but what’s one lesson you need to learn the hard way?

Regretfully, you bounce down successfully and pull your legs up.

And then, as you dust your hands off from the chocolate stains melted on your palms, Joel’s lips part in a o as you reach behind you and pulling an entire gallon container of animal crackers. 

"Babe"

"Wha?” You don’t turn around to look at him, still shoveling them into your mouth. “Yuu wan wan?"

"You need to stop eating every damn thing in the house.”

You gasp incredulously, your hand over your heart in painful offense. “The baby is very hungry! She's related to you and that belly.”

He only remembers to stop himself from reminding you that your belly is much bigger than his now. 

"The baby—“ (that was the new thing now: the baby  this baby that. The baby is why I need this shirt in blue and green. The baby is why I need the ice cream layered horizontally not stacked vertically. The baby —)

"No. Not the baby,” he snaps. “You."

You start to cry. "I thought I AM your baby!!!" 

He gives you a “seriously” look and you stop the fake tears.

“So how about it?”

“I don’t want you getting salmonella.”

“ugh fine. You can bake them I guess.”

He’s about to protest the idea of any dough going into your body, cooked or raw, but knows its going to be a lost cause.

Joel makes you a platter of Assorted cookies: chocolate chip, fudge, triple chocolate, sugar, and oatmeal raisin.

You clap your hands as he carefully places the little plate atop your bump. Humored by the custom “mini” table you’ve got going on now. Maybe his baby doesn’t like her head being used as a countertop, but with the way you close your eyes and moan after biting into the chocolate chip, babygirl must be pleased too.

He goes to the bathroom quickly and then comes back only to glare down at you. You've taken exactly one bite out of every single cookie, leaving crescent shapes for him to scathe.

Every cookie, except oatmeal raisin. You clearly did take a bite ,but spit it out and put the lump back near the undesirable #1 cookie.

“These mine?” Joel asks bemused.

You nod happily. You felt very proud to have enough control and leave him some this time! 

-

It’s about 9:30 pm. You're acting drunk and woozy even tho you're just a new level of tired and achy

"Woopppoooooo!!! Paaartttaaayyy!" You shout with fists in the air, drinking down a shot glass of sugar water. 

“Alright party Momma. It’s bedtime.” 

"Ppfffttt! No old man! Dont steal my fun.”

Joel stands over the couch, blocking your view from the TV, his hands on his hips. “You're being difficult "

“YoU’rE bEiNg DifFicUlT,” you mock and wave him off. "Oop I need to pee. Help me up.”

Joel” grabs both your grabby hands and hoists you up to your feet. “Now up the stairs, you.”

You waddle towards the stairwell, one hand cupping your lower back. Joel is right at your heel. you up at the treaturous journey ahead, all 8 steps to the top floor. Cracking your neck side to side, you wave your arms over to the handrail and begin: “Left foot. Right foot. Left. Fuck. Fuck stairs. Who invented stairs. Left foot…”

Joel’s so sleepy that he nearly falls forward. And he knows you would not take too kindly to him ramming his face into your ass as you battle your worst enemy.

Finally to the top, you scurry over like a penguin to the bathroom. He fears the long night ahead, with all the sugar swirling in your system undoubtedly going to keep him up.

He rubs his wears eyes. Startled when a moment later you’re right next to him by your side of the bed, patiently waiting for him to help you up.

"Get in the covers,” he hums with exhaustion.

But you don’t move. “No"

"Now.”

"I want an orange.”

"No. You—you just had your snack."

"That was the baby's snack. I want MY snack”.

Dear Christ almighty, bless me with a boy next time so that I have a fighting chance against her and mini her. “If I get you an orange, will you go to bed?" He asks irritably, his voice enunciating each word to ensure the contract that he’s making with you right now is solidified on both ends of the bargain.

You think it over before nodding with a little innocent beam. 

You crawl into the covers just as Joel descends the stairs once again. It takes the entire time for him to grab some oranges, a peeler, and paper towel just for you to rotate your middle and sit your ass in bed.

You sit up against the headboard and clap your hands, so excited when he reappears with the goods. He puts the towel on your mini-table bump and plops one orange atop.

Joel sighs and begins to walk towards his side of the bed, but is haunted when you clear your throat for his attention.

“Yes?”

"Peel it.”

He tries not to visibly roll his eyes before he's opening the round orange with his large fingers and clubbed nails. Everything smells like nectarine now.

Picky as can be, you peel off the extra dried white veiny bits and suck on each pod of the orange.

You expect a sweet simpleness to squirt on your tongue, but instead, a sour, bitter, unripe taste floods your mouth. “Ugh these are gross, now I want—“

Joel closes his wardrobe drawer, his shirt off and only halfway down to his boxers. “NO. NO means fucking NO. I’M TIRED. YOU’RE TIRED. WE'RE GOING TO BED. NOW,” he barks sternly into the mirror. His shoulders huffing from such aggression without being able to look at you.

You throw the covers off, orange skin and slices flying everywhere.

“Fuck you! I want ice cream! I want bananas and steak and potatoes and tacos and—!" 

-

He bares his teeth in a snarl, deep angered eyes casting downward with each poignant rut. “You're so annoying, so goddamn spoiled,” he grunts. His huge hands are wrapped around the top of your head and  cupping your jaw and bulging cheek, keeping you in place as he pushes his length into your mouth over and over again. “You’re gonna do shit when I tell you, the first time I say—shit—fuck there we go—gonna listen—unnggghhfff—listen ta me from now on. Just be my good little silent. Slutty. Pregnant. Wife.”

Your teary eyes are fixed upward at his imposing figure. Feeling each time his tip nudges the back of your throat has you gagging but you can’t pull away to breathe—not that you want to.

“You get—what I give ya—and you be grateful bout it.”

You gargle a moan in agreement. His balls slap against your chin with brutal punches. by this time tomorrow, there will be Joel-finger prints bruising your face and neck.

You love it. You love it when Joel forces you out of the hormonal phase of bossing him around, the endless need to want more and more, no end in sight to your greedy gluttonous desires, until he’s blowing up and blowing off steam using you instead. And it becomes very clear to you how much you just really wanted him this whole time. 

“That’s it—that’s it—you were hungry for my cock weren’t ya? Yeahhhh. Just begging me all night for it. Wanted all that meat for dinner, huh? Couldn’t just come out n’ say it? Your little brain didn’t know what ya truly needed. S’okay, Momma. I’m takin’ care of ya, aren’t I?”

The gluglugglug sounds mixed with strained pitchy whines echo in the master bedroom.

You grip his thighs with your hands to steady yourself, allowing him to abuse your throat. Maybe your knees hurt. Maybe the baby is settling uncomfortably against your lower back, and maybe it’s going to be really difficult to get up from this position in a few minutes. But each thick throb of his length filling your mouth over and over again, the spit slick strings dropping from your lips to your swollen tits, and the dent in your throat from his cock stretching to accomodate his size has your swollen pussy dripping into the carpet for more, more, more. 

It’s been at least a week since Joel drained himself. No wonder he’s been so on edge with each demand. Usually marveling how cute you are, but tonight he was at him limit. You were about to get a hefty, Joel Miller sized load filling your belly, and it’s going to be better than any cookie, steak, or orange in the entire world.

He feels the way your lips suction tighter. Your eyes are leaking tears, and he smirks as he brushes his thumb over to collect it. Briefly bringing it to his tongue and sucking on the salty taste before holding your head in place. 

“Shhh-shhhhhhhh. You gonna take it? Shit—shit—fuck yeah you are. Gonna fuckin take what I give ya, that’s right. My sweet wife. Bossing me around. Shit. Love when ya get like this. Known I’m gonna wreck that ass or that pussy or that mouth—all belongs to me. Fuck—fuck—fuuckk—“

His mouth drops into an o, brows drawn tightly together as slams his pulsing member balls deep into your mouth one final time. You choke, eyes wide as the tip of his cock breaches the deepest part of your throat, your nose suffocated by his pubic hairs and the fat of his lower belly surrounding your cheeks. His balls twitch against your lower lip, and you feel it coming. The travel of his seed from his sack, up his shaft along your tongue—a generous spurt of cum finally shooting from his tip and down your throat. You gag with each fat load that he pumps down your esophagus, too much to swallow at once yet having no other choice but to gulp it down quickly. Your face feels hot. He’s cumming endlessly, your mind blanking and eyes feeling blurry.

“Take it, take it, take it, that’s it,” he hisses through clenched teeth.

You nod just a little, hugging your arms around his thick thighs tighter. He grins, humming “That’s my good fucking wife, and throws his head as the last of his pleasure makes its way safely from his sated balls to your full womb.

Joel pulls you off his length gently. You sputter out cum and saliva onto his feet, sucking in air through your lungs like a newborn. 

Joel gets to one knee, his thumb pressed gently under your chin so you look directly at him. He’s got such softness in his eyes again, the ones that just switch on a dime the second he’s satisfied his aggress out on you. 

You’re completely wrecked: snot spit connecting to your nostrils and swollen lips, cheeks warm and eyes puffy and hazy with exhaustion and tears.

“That—mmffffgg!—was—definitely—my—snack,” you rasp with a hoarse voice. A lazy grin spread across your face only briefly as you continue to suck air.

Joel shakes his head before planting a long kiss atop your forehead. his hands glide along your body, and just in time as your knees give way and you’re falling into him. 

If you had half the mind right now, you’d curse him out for scooping you up and carrying you to bed like his once youthful bride, too concerned with the size and weight of your new body putting unnecessary stress on his aging knees and back. But Joel doesn’t protest once. Just watches you with loving eyes as he settles you into the soft bed. His tongue dips to your chest and breasts, kissing and sucking away any remnants of his rough face fucking. His cum, your spit, and fuvk it, even the little snot specks—all of it he cleans up before coming up to your lips. He kisses you softly with gentle pecks, enough to ensure you can still catch your breath. He sucks your lower lip into your mouth before wiping his own with his thumb. You’re calmer now, sated and drifting so close to sleep.

Joel clambers into bed next to you, wrapping his arm under your head and swaddling you close. You instinctively roll into his embrace. Kissing his peck and rubbing your face against him dreamily with soft breaths. “Tha hit ther spert juss rite. Ur da bess, Jol.”

“I know. So are you.” He waits for a reply, but nothing comes from you. “Are you goin’ into a food coma, baby?”

Your gentle snores answer him, along with the drool now pooling on his peck.

He chuckles and pulls your head into his face, inhaling your scent. Strong, secure, graceful hands caress your big belly. Your very very full belly, the one that he’s not going to envy when it gives you a the tummy ache tomorrow from stuffing it with so much junk food tonight. 

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@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop

[dollietes]

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა mimi’s fic recs !

in summary these are my fav fics that i’ve read recently and are living within the depths of my brain. this is just a way for my to show appreciation for the writers who had written them <3 please support their blogs and check out their other works as well!

please minors dni with the smut works. respect writers and their boundaries!!

f :: fluff / a :: angst / s :: smut

pretty girls make graves by @ijtaimes f

OBSESSED with this series!! the blend of the summer camp setting, the love triangle story, and the clever incorporation of horror elements?@)2)2) and the interactive storytelling it has with the outfit choices and other general choices?? ivy, cousin i love you and your sexy brain. i can’t get enough of it actually!

two peculiar swans by @astralnymphh f / s

WHEN I TELL YOU ALL I RAN LIKE THREE LAPS AND SAT IMMEDIATELY WHEN I SAW IT WAS POSTED. the writinggg!! so top tier! the dialogue, inner monologue how the story just flows so seamlessly?? i’m so excited for the rest of this series bro like aestra ate😋 HYPE IT UP YALL!!

loser!abby by @abbyscherry s

when i tell you all i profusely **** and ***** while reading both of the loser!abby works. like if i speak I would be deemed as insane, a mad woman it’s crazy. read them like bedtime stories before bed😭

cowboy!ellie + this by @catfern s

SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWGIRL! COWBOY!ELLIE NATION RISEEEEE. these hcs had me foaming t the mouth like i need someone to hold me back before I ramble about how much I love these hcs and eat them up and will continue to eat up anything cowboy!ellie 😋

in for it by @brackishkittie s

ONE WORD. DIVINE. DELICIOUS. SCRUMPTIOUS. i could not stop smiling like a school girl while reading this it’s embarrassing actually. also vivian’s smau’s >>>> got me into the fandom actually

rockstar!ellie + this by @phantombriide s

i could write a thesis about how much i love this and rockstar!ellie works. like this is what i breathe, i eat, i consume everyday. it is the mantra i read to start my days. my daily reading to begin the day. god bless.

academic rival!abby by @beforeimdeceased f / s

ACADEMIC RIVALS CLENCHES FISTS. RAHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE ITTTTT. every bit of this series had me craving for more oml. like i need academic!rival abby in my bed immediately!

being pregnant with wife!abby by @bayasdulce f

baby fever has hit me once again what can i say?😞 I need wife!abby to take care of me so bad it’s getting sad at this point. I just this broke me down and worsened my baby fever (had me making a pinterest board and everything goodbye😞😞)

neighbour!ellie + this by @loaksky s / f

NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE NEIGHBOUR!ELLIE MY FAV FAV FAV! i remember the influx of them on my dash and trust i was eating good 🍽️ both parts had me folding, giggling, smiling, swinging my feet everything and everything.

try it on by @moncherellie s

another work that got me into the fandom!! I remember reading this for the first time and hiding my face and giggling into my pillow and the audios lord i felt so giddy that night lmao😭

doctor!abby texts by @eightstarr f

doctor!abby has me in a chokehold like that’s my wife and mother of our three children everyone can leave pls and thanks😁 and i mean that with my whole chest. those texts are actual REAL evidence of what our convos look like you all can move (im joking pls don’t take what I’m saying seriously😭) I just am in love with everything zoe puts out because it’s so good and so dear and special to me

cutty love by @totheblood f

anything star puts out tbh >>>>> absolutely in love with cutty love actually! I am a whore for any fluff and PINNING (GIVE IT TEW ME). this is just so soft and sweet and it’s everything I need like uggggh. the audios too just chefs kiss love everything about it!

streamer!ellie hcs by @inf3ct3dd f

SIERRA’S HCS 🔛🔝 SO GOOD EATS EVERYTIME YALL like gen they all have made their home in my brain and I can’t go to bed without at least reading one of them before i hit the hay.

knight!ellie by @heavenbloom f

FIRSTLY written so beautifully?&* i love everything about this and i tend to go back to this work when I’m in need of a fluff fix! I absolutely adore how everything is written yes I’m reiterating my point because ‘green eyes thirsty for the well that was your beauty.’ LIKE WORLD STOP. ARE YOU SEEING THIS?? ‘she was utterly dedicated to you, body and soul, and she would be by your side until her very last breath. it was a fierceness, this love that consumed her, and it was all yours.’ LIKE WTF

partition by @whore4abby s

reserving my *clears throat* thoughts for now but just know * **** **** *** *** ***** **** * **** ***** *********!!! 😁😁😁 everyone should read this ASAP!

sun don’t set by @hier--soir f

another heavenly piece omg!! so in love with the writing in here oh my god. it’s so soft and sweet and it just felt like a warm hug on a cold winters day i just. please read this!!

you love it when i play with you by @ourautumn86 s

i think i like passed out and had three nosebleeds because of this. i think about this more than i should. I think about in the morning, throughout the day and night. my daily read at this point like it’s just sooooo😋😋😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

my love mine all mine by @doepretty f

this one is special to me too like. for one the writing is so beautiful and it made me shed a tear and secondly I melted into a puddle like i want Abby so bad I’m going to be sick.

[gatitties]

HELLO

Can I request an Oneshot of One Piece with a marine teen reader (14 y.o) who is the daughter of Red Hair Shanks after a one-night stand? She was taken in by Garp when she was 11 when her mom didn't wanna take care of her anymore cuz the mom was absent the rest of the reader's life and Garp was the grumpy granddad and trained her into a marine..like 6 feet 4 muscular girl (and everyone is questioning what the hell did Garp feed her with. Then Shanks comes to visit his bio daughter at the hospital after the reader saved Ace from being killed by Akaniu (that one scene where Ace saved Luffy when he leaped in the way to shield his brother from Akainu as the admiral struck cuz she felt bad and went against rules) by pushing both of them away and burning her a bit and now she has huge burn scar in her left side of the body and half her hair is gone and has to add margarine to heal her scar just for a bit and then Garp ordered her that she should not get up the bed until she is fully recovered. Shanks being the dad he is tries to have a convo and help her stand up when the doctors order her to do some exercise to get her body moving again for example:

-move your fingers a bit

-try to stand up

-when you suicide try to take a few steps

-and more margarine when you go to sleep

-do not sleep on your left side cuz will cause your skin a damage

The reader is confused after receiving affection from her own dad, cuz she doesn't know how to receive it back and is very insecure about it Shanks on the other hand doesn't bother at all and comfronts her.

(Also Ace and Luffy come to visit her more often and thank her for saving them and having a small sibling relationship alongside Sabo and Uta)

and the reader is trying her hardest not to cry and Garp is jealous

(sorry if this is long I'm just trying to make it understandable..have a nice day/night!!)

─ Shanks x daughter!reader (Platonic)

─ Summary: Your bravery helps you save a person unfairly judged, this whole incident generates a drastic change in your pace of life where it seems that your father is ready to show himself.

─ Warnings: None

You stretched your sore body, letting out a soft moan due to your recent injury, weeks had passed and you still had a hard time moving, but looking back, the pain wasn't that much in comparison to your actions, not being ashamed of your actions against everythingn that you had learned at the marine academy, you were lucky that they considered your actions something of age, since you were young, they let it go with a couple of punishments, they lowered your rank and prohibited you from being on duty for the two following years, but you didn't care much.

Garp was not so happy with that decision, but he couldn't scold you when you had saved his grandson from certain death, he was glad to have welcomed you that day, he couldn't feel anything but proud to see that despite having been strictly instructed to follow established order and law, you had your own thoughts and values.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

If it weren't for the fact that you were hurt badly, Garp probably would have hit you for finding you pacing around the room, you grimaced as you tried to smile, a little afraid of his overwhelming concern.

"The doctors told me that I couldn't stop walking, even if it was difficult, I can't stop moving while I recover, it's not like I was running a marathon tho."

He mumbled a few curses, making you return to the bed, now beginning your arm stretches, which were more painful due to the burn being on the upper part of your body.

"Why are you here? I thought you would come to visit tomorrow."

"Yes, but I have decided to go ahead to give you a surprise" all your attention went to the word 'surprise' with enthusiasm, being the teenager that you were, of course you were more than captivated by whatever the old man had for you "Ta-dah!"

He took a pair of wigs out of a bag, your expression fell slightly since you expected something else, but that didn't take away your enthusiasm, the attack that Akainu made on Ace in that battle left more wounds than you thought, and the fire spread faster than you thought, you lost some hair and sometimes you felt helpless without hair covering some parts of your face.

"Thank you… you didn't have to do it, and I could have waited until tomorrow anyway, why the rush?"

Now it was Garp's turn to sweat as he looked at you, he didn't want to admit it, but since Shanks saved you in battle and visited you more constantly, he felt a little jealous, although your father was unaware of your existence until relatively recently, proposing to take care of you and be present in your life from now on, it was Garp who raised and guided you all these years, plus he preferred not to meet Shanks at this time.

You were just confused, you always thought that your father had simply abandoned you, that he didn't want to know anything about your existence like your mother, and suddenly he is by your side showering you with affection and gifts. You took cautious steps with all that sudden affection, Garp wasn't a bad tutor, but his way of showing love was sometimes… brutal, your father's soft hugs were definitely something better than grandfather's crushing ones.

"Hey hey, grandpa is here too, Hello, Hello! We brought a lot of food to help you recover faster."

"Idiot, people don't have the same metabolism as you, besides…" Ace, who was entering through the door with Luffy, took the banana that was for you out of his hand, he was trying to devour it "What's the point of bringing food for someone if you are going to eat it?!"

"What are you two doing here? You are in one of the marine hospitals."

"We are not just two, look good old man!"

Sabo smiled at his grandfather, who remained silent for a few minutes, before bursting out with a furious scream, even though Garp was not going to tell on them, he couldn't help but give them one of his love fists, it had been a long time since he had seen the three gathered in the same place. You laughed at the scene, you never saw Ace, Luffy or Sabo, you only knew anecdotes that Garp shared with you, but you definitely didn't regret having saved Ace, being judged for being the son of the pirate king was absurd, it's not like he had chosen it, you felt even better when you found out that you were the daughter of the infamous yonko Shanks, since you would have probably been put on the gallows if you weren't part of the marines for the same reason as Ace.

The silent room soon filled with life once the trio entered, breaking into the peaceful time Garp wanted to spend with you, as if the commotion of his three grandchildren crammed into your bed while ranting about their adventures wasn't enough, the door opened suddenly, revealing the person who was missing to spill the old man's glass of patience.

"Looks like I'm a little late, sorry, I had to knock out some marines to get in."

The first thing he did was push the three idiots away from your bed, then he left the bouquet of flowers that he brought to decorate your sad room and finally he kissed your forehead as a greeting, not used to this gesture you simply looked down, squeezing your blanket that covered your legs.

"How are you feeling? Are you taking your medication? Have you put the cream on the burn? Have you done your daily stretches?"

You felt even more dizzy when he bombarded you with questions than when you were talking to the other three idiots even though they were much louder, you nodded silently, smiling slightly at him, he returned the gesture with a wider smile, although it was quickly wiped away when Luffy attacked him, climbing onto his back like a monkey while laughing almost causing them both to fall to the ground.

As much as you wanted to join their little fight, which Ace and Sabo joined in on, with your current state you would have to hold back just watching while Garp tried to silence them or he would have to kick them all out of here, if it could happen he would grow more gray hairs.

You felt warm watching everyone interact, in the short time you had spent with them, you managed to create a great bond, even with Uta, who couldn't be present most of the time but who you also considered part of the family.

Things calmed down a couple of hours later, leaving only the two adults and you in a pleasant silence after all the commotion those three had caused, it was time to leave, but before, Shanks approached you, holding your hand, making small circles with his thumb on your skin.

"I know this is a bit sudden and that maybe you don't trust me… but would you like to travel with me, discovering new horizons?"

Your eyes shone with excitement when you heard him, your heart warmed, you didn't dislike the job as a marine, but an opportunity like this… it would make you feel much freer than in headquarters, it would make you feel like you didn't need to worry about so many things at such a young age.

"Don't put stupid ideas in your daughter's head! She's a good marine and she's just a teenager, she'll go far when she's a woman!"

"Woah, calm down old man, she can choose for herself, besides, I'm not asking her to be a pirate, I have to start taking care of my responsibilities as a father and I won't be able to do it if she stays here."

"You know very well that she will sentence her destiny once they see her traveling with you, her entire future as a marine…"

Garp fumed from his ears, feeling how all the work and effort he had put into educating you and guiding you on the right path was crumbling before his eyes. Shanks only stuck out his tongue in a mocking manner, making a mark of irritation appear on Garp's forehead.

"Like I said, she chooses."

The two looked at you with different emotions reflected in their eyes, although they could already imagine what you were going to respond after seeing your look of determination and enthusiasm worthy of a child receiving Christmas gifts, without being able to hold back, you sealed a large part of your future with your decision, but you didn't care much if you were a pirate or a marine as long as you kept your beloved and unexpected family.

[tree-obsession]

2.2 SPOILERS!! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

this is a small lore discussion! mostly speculation and theories- i have not seen leaks about 2.3 plot yet, but i have seen a couple about boothill's character stories, so please keep that in mind!

trigger for mentions of suicide(aventurine) and mega corps(the ipc)

we have to talk about the ending cutscene with aventurine and boothill more! i'll start with my fav parts that no one really has brought up yet:

Aventurine intimidating Boothill after mentioning the guards are out- Boothill sounded so offput and hasty while reassuring him they were just knocked out, and we have to talk about aventurine himself just being intimidating more honestly his glare actually did kind of scare me.

Boothill pointing a gun at aventurine was. well. i'm sorry i did actually laugh at that. boothill i think you should research your targets a bit more honestly that guy is NOT afraid of guns. he fully walked into the nihility and pointed at least one gun at himself, and just got out of his own meticulously-planned suicide. threats of death won't work, sorry. also he has good reason to hate oswaldo schneider as well- threats didn't even have to be used, probably! he would kill him too, probably(revenge arc go go go!!)

the convo between aven and jade was. yeah. why he's betting his life again, i don't know (maybe sarcasm? or it was really just banter?) but it does seem like the two of them aren't super close at all, at least from what little i could gather. also if diamond hurts aventurine the entire fandom will kick his ass, emanator or no, so he better be prepared for that too lol. also, it was a pretty common theory aventurine would leave the ipc after exiting nihility, since acheron presumably broke his ties- i wonder why he went back? perhaps he had no plans as to where to go, or he has some ulterior motive?

how did he get out of nihility so unscathed? (for context, i haven't gotten aven's text messages yet, but i'm aware of some of their contents since they've been floating around w/out spoiler tags. the messages are mentioned a bit here if you wanna avoid spoilering!) i know argenti got him out, but 1) why was argenti there, or where did he even find him? and 2) that seems so random- both argenti and jade confirmed it, but plot-wise what's even the point of argenti pulling him out? also argenti said he was in a "woeful state" when he got out, and apparently the stonehearts are willing to give aven a break (which i'm assuming is major, since stonehearts are super important and have a lot of responsibility, plus he just destroyed a cornerstone) so him already being back on his feet when we see the phone call is a bit weird right away. he doesn't even sound sick, and ratio or any other doctor is nowhere in sight! (message spoilers start here) i'm aware the aventurine cornerstone was fully shattered/destroyed while protecting him from nihility- was he really in there for who-knows-how-long without any protection at all? he's apparently having nightmares and the ipc needed to call in a doctor of chaos to treat him, which is concerning considering his mental health and general will to live were extremely low even before walking into the nihility. like he genuinely has some of the worst will to live i've ever seen in a character or human being- walking through the nihility should have utterly destroyed him mentally and physically, but it didn't. 2.3 HAS to give us a whole lotta context, especially with nihility lore (my favorite aeon, i may be biased) and more about the ipc!

anyway, thank you for reading this poorly formatted, stream-of-consciousness word vomit about 2.2's aventurine lore. hope you liked it! drop ur thoughts in replies and reblogs plz they give me life(although i will be very busy next few weeks, so please don't be offended if you want a reply and don't get it, im so sorry!)

2.2 was peak- a bit slow, but the story was some of the best, if not the best stuff hoyo has given us in terms of writing quality. so great! i cried for sure, and that boss battle was just everything- especially the music. robin my lesbian queen if i didn't have to pull for firefly i would get your lightcone for sure...

see you all next time! thx for sticking around (:

[dragon-of-the-dungeon]

DOCTOR WHO HAS HAD ME F*CKING CRYING FOR THE LAST HOUR

⚠️DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS ⚠️

HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME 😭😭😭

I remember when I put it on to watch I saw the name Rogue as the title and though 'haha what if its abt DnD' you know coz, rogues a class in dnd and then I was like oh they should totally make one abt dnd some time (im a hard-core dnd fan - it's what got me into the stranger things fandom) but... ANYGAYS! I saw rogues ship and i was like omg he listened kylie AND THEN I SAW F*CKING DND DICE!!!!!!!! AND THEY HAD THIS WHOLE CONVO ABT IT AND I WAS JUST AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

And then the STARTED FLIRTING HXIBYVSVRUSGF E, IT WAS LIKE GHEEPISODE COULDNT GET ANY BETTER, IT HAS DND AND GAYNESS AND HSHSUDUD7DU, AND THEN I WAS LIKE OMG WHAT WOULD THE DOCTORS CLASS BE (Im still trying to work that out) but then they HAD FUCKING COSPLAYERS AND AT THIS POINT I WAS EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE EPISODE AND ROGUE AND THEG GAD COXPLAYERS AND I WAS LITERALLY JUMPING EVERYWHERE FLAPPING ANDHSUVHBVUEHRHVEHRUGUHERG BUT THEN,

...

THEY KISSED AND I WAS LITERALLY GOING TO EXPLODE I TELLU NOW

And the they had to kill him (sorta)

They

KiLLED

HIM

NÒÓÕŐØÓŒÕ

And it made it even worse the fact he did it for the doctor

I literally have no words for how heartwarming that was

And then I spent the next hour crying abt it

Like, he'll, if I react like this for a character I have only known for under an hour I don't even want to think about if any stranger things character dies. I am too emotionally attached to rogue and have decided to make a memorial for him...

WHYYYYYYY

Anyways, here are some of my fav bits/idk gifs???

THE DICE! THE NAME! THE SCENE! THE SMILE!!!!

My thoughts exactly- right with u here

THE HAND HOLD!!!!!

and then they almost kissed....

The Amount of tension between these 2 was just 🤌

WE LOVE FLUSTERED DOCTOR

AND THE FACT HES A ROGUE IS SO FITTING, ROGUES ARE PRACTICALLY BOUNTY HUNTERS IN A SENSE

Bro fell so hard the only thing he could think to do in a stressful situation was propose 💀

thank u for coming to my Ted talk

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[carmenized-onions]

chapter 1 - going back to my roots!! (spoilers for those who haven’t rear the most recent chapter)

the way you mirrored that first sentence with the mikey - EVIL

if it’s a love confession she should definetely answer😁 - imagine if it was…imagine that

if carmy knew her neighbourhood wasn’t peaceful he’d have her in his apartmentment at once!!

But a part of you is relieved it’s a thing that’s broken, and not her - oh this hurted

“The doorknob on the inside, broke off. And right now, or, more like, 5 minutes ago, the handle on the outside broke off too.” - the way it all goes back to her, mikey and richie ugh your mind

Now that’s an uncomfortably familiar voice. - RICHIEEEE. ugh reading it with all the contexr is just wow!!!powerful stuff

Nobody has to know you’re wearing pajama shorts under this - lowkey hot tho😁

an older woman smoking and having an emotional spat - donna!! makes sense that chippy never met her but oh i wonder how that would’ve gone

She gently slaps your cheek - tina is so cuteee

You’ve never said his name to him - the way everything makes sense now oooof

love the switch up between “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up for me, Carmen Chef Sir.” and “….Who the fuck is Tony?”

“Aye… Cousin?”- i used to think the cousin was for carmy but it’s for her 🥹🥹🥹 my fave besties 🥹💕🫶🏼😭 (also i’ve had two dreams now about richie being my best friend… yeah the mental illness is,,,)

Girlfriend? Probably - that could’ve been you already if you listened to mikey’s advice but i guess claire had to happen *for the plot*🙄

“You’re just. Cold.” - sobbing actually

you lower your arms— But. He opts to place his chin on your shoulder - 😭😭😭 them!!!!!

retaining - the bold on retaining 💀💀💀

definitely a virgin - ajajsjejrjri not for long (well i can dream 😁🫶🏼)

sweetheart, asshole - so true 💕💕

omg remember back when the chapters were this short (compared to the newest ones)yeah me neither. love you love your dedication!!<3

this is the best day of my life, getting people's re-reading thoughts is the best experience of my life AND FROM YOU TOO LU!! LOVE YOU!!!

ANyways. CHAPTER 1 THOUGHTS BUT WITH C O N T E X T now.

I can't remember if I always planned to mirror the intro line with Mikey. I'm pretty sure I did? I think I went back and forth a couple times on whether or not it was stupid-- And it very well might be, but I know it makes everyone rereading mad so I think it was worth it and good and cool of me.

Everyone gets so hung up on the love confession line now it makes me so happy. I'll be so fr I didn't plan Squidink to happen in the beginning-- Though I did originally concept this whole series as x Syd before switching lanes, I don't remember when it locked in for me that I was going to be gay about it. Probably Zero Pulse? Yeah probably.

carmen's gonna crash tony's credit score on purpose so she has to move out: canon-- canon i said it it's canon! kidding

THE DOOORKNOOBBB this I always planned-- I don't know if they go over it in canon but fr why the fuck did the inner knob break off so easy that's so deeply concerning man.

RICCHIEEE, he IS powerful stuff bro.

"lowkey hot tho😁" so tony is now a character and it's Tony x reader now, i see?

DONNNAAAAA, it only makes sense for Tony to be in a rush and avoid Donna in this opener, but I do also wonder how violently different this night would've gone if she listened in on their convo for like even two seconds.

It's extremely funny to go from "i need to be so nice to this kid, he meant everything to my best friend" to "what the FUCK are you yapping about?" in two seconds.

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE USED TO THINK RICHIE SAYING COUSIN WAS FOR CARMEN, I remember for chapter 2 so many people going awe he calls her cousin-- baby, always has! Also were you a handyman in those dreams be HONEST!!!

smh chip if you simply just followed big bros advice you could probably be living together by now but NO Carmen had to get with the ACTUAL DOCTOR instead of the EMT!!!! bro loves women in healthcare

JUST COLD!!!! JUST COLD!!! man if i had a hat i'd throw it and i literally wrote all this. The little descriptions Mikey gave of his siblings were also honestly some of my favourite bits to write from this first chapter. Had to look at me and my two brothers and go how would I honestly describe these two and how brutal would I be about it? 100% older brother Mikey has to humble Carmen's ass with a ALWAYS EMPHASIZED R E T A I N I N G. He's proud but like. come on you didn't get them, carm.

i miss the days of short chapters. though I think we're kind of going back to it if not taking a brief pitstop of short. This next one I pray to god is under 10k i'll 86 myself i swear to god. LOVE YOU!!!

memes are so good, who the FUCK are you cousin!!! sydney's new apartment in S3 should be free-- rent should be free during pride month actually that's the law also i'm pretty sure everyone IS making sex up anyways anyways do i have a piece of wip i could give you my darling let's see

oh i do but i'm gonna be so fucking mean about it.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY YAPPING ABOUT!!!!??? WHO KNOWSSS (i know)

anyways i have to pack up from work and get the FUCK out of here see you all later conspire over this screenshot losers love u

[destinedtobeloved]

Now that I’ve finished Altered Carbon, I think it would be fun to share one of my notes from my notes app that I’ve been writing on since I’ve started it. I’ve cried a lot about this book, and everything I’ve ever left behind has claw marks.

This book definitely has claw marks.

It includes all of my favorite moments and parts of the book down below :)

Things I love about book Kovacs

- he’s trying to quit smoking

- His hallucinations are of Jimmy and Virginia Vadura

- Him and Ortega don’t actually hate eachother that much in the beginning

- At first Takeshi doesn’t actually hate Bancroft either

- He’s genuinely confused about earth terms

- He was mad that at the Wei clinic they didn’t give him back his watch or his bandana, simply because he just bought it and he’d liked the watch

- He likes shopping

- He likes fruit juice???

- Gaslit Umou into being late to Psychasec because he needed to eat breakfast

- He deals with hangovers like a champ

- Started smoking in the construct once he remembered it had no real consequences in the real

- Understands female complexity/differences between male and female

- Knows how to handle gentle situations most of the time (victor talking about his daughter, Kristen talking about Ryker.)

- Quotes poetry from Quell

- Also enjoys poetry (ex; the carving on the bench at the faculty when he’s waiting for the doctor.)

- Slept for twenty hours after the Wei clinic??

- His emotion (though i do miss the scene where he’s drugged up outside of the raven talking to Quell. ‘250 years is long enough. It’s time to move on.’ ‘Never. You hear me? Never.’)

- His love for Sarah

- His attempts at smiling

- His explanation of personality frag!!!!

- Chapter 20 as a whole is so amazing (talking about Ryker- him and Curtis, bla bla bla, mostly just Elias and Kristen stuff.)

- Ramen just awakens something in him

- Actually very good at telling children’s stories to Ortega (like a dad.)

- Good at cracking jokes

- His interaction with the little girl in the second page of chapter 25???!?? (He shoots her with a little finger gun when he realizes she’s looking at him expectantly after seeing his weapon.)

- After the whole blown up building Kadmni thing (‘that’s fucking enough!’) he smokes because he just decides it’s not worth it

- Him and Trepp playing card games on the airship that Trepp had taught him

- He literally reaches for his Nemex every three seconds istg

- Remaining ‘innocent at the core’ -reileen

- Apparently having a very deep very drugged convo about cats in chapter 26

- Kovacs is a MUNCH

- Repeats the same Virginia Vidora quote over again. ‘We take what is offered. And sometimes, that must be enough.’

- Reileen always starting off her talks with him in Japanese because she thinks it unites them in a way

- Had to stop himself from calling reileen ray

- He actually DOES genuinely smile (ex; when Irene is exited about the limo)

- ‘I’m a sucker for family reunions.’ HE ACTUALLY DOES CARE (maybe it’s because him and Sarah never got to have one after he was taken out of the store.)

- Sleeping in the car (limo) so Irene can get laid

- The guilt/itchiness he has after relapsing into smoking

- Him and Trepp are actually friends and she insists that they go party, drink coffee, play card games together, ect.

- Considers trepp not getting into the envoys a ‘Lucky escape’

- Trepp n Kovacs playful teasing

- He missed Ortega when she left the Hendrix and didn’t come back. ‘I missed Ortega.’ Page 356

- Bancroft saying he’d been around for the RD’s of two of his children. (Going out of order back to the beginning)

- Doesn’t bullshit. Didn’t tell Irene it would pass when she was feeling hurt after being resleeved.

- It was nerve wracking to him to watch Irene code

- Reileen and Miriam slept together??

- Takeshis urge to be cruel

- Got anyoyed when Miller was tapping on the table and just flatted out his hand LMFAO

- When he heard he got a call he immediately asked if it was Ortega.

- Literally seconds before he’s about to get beat to death in the Panamrose he thinks about how bored he is

- Still, right before he about to die, he thinks about Ortega and calls her a ‘pocket of calm’

- He’s ready to die, not awfully upset about it because he knows Kristen has enough information to get Reileen and also because he knows Sarah will be released

- Trepp saves him in the Panama rose

- He talks to his dad mid fight after not hearing him forever. Before he killed Kadmin (calling him the ‘patchwork man’) he asks if he wants to say anything.

- He’s afraid to alter his virtual self because he thinks it’s not far away from what reileen and Bancroft do

- Sits on a forklift after the fight thinking. He’s weirdly soft.

- Claims that nothing hurt more then the realization that this would be his and Ortegas last moments together

- Held hands with her too

- Would’ve given anything to not have to dissolve what was growing between them.

- He loves her more in the book than he did in the show (and it’s making me sob.)

- He literally is arguing with himself when he is double sleeved

- He almost killed someone at 16 because he looked like his dad

- Also wanted to help the Elliot’s because of his family and his mom who was like Lizzy

- Absolutely does not want to talk about his past and his father/family

- Planning to get drunk because he doesn’t want to talk to himself sober

- Disappointed with his copy for smoking

- Takeshi fter the microsurgery is down at the lake with a little girl who seemed to ‘adopt him’

- He’s actually kind of heartbroken when him and Kristen’s relationship changes after he is resleeved.

- Makes his day that he can still make Ortega laugh before he convinces her to get him some stiff because he thought their dynamic was weird afterwards

- Before he and Reileen fall to their deaths he says, ‘When they ask how I died,' I said, 'tell them: still angry’ as well as ‘that’s fucking enough’

- Once his clone lost to rock paper scissors and was set to die, he asks if he wants him to tell Jimmy anything. I sobbed.

- Kept accidentally talking about Reileen in present terms after she died.

- He gave money to Irene once he’s about to leave for Lizzy. (‘I want there to be something clean at the end of all this, something I can feel good about.’)

- He held Irene after that.

- He attempts to laugh with Ortega before he goes

- His quote saying that no matter what you always leave alone. (‘Whatever world it is, whatever you've done there for better or worse, you always leave the same way. Alone.’)

- His last wishes are for Kristen to get Ryker to stop smoking once he’s out of the store

[elvenbeard]

It's 8:42 in the morning, I didn't sleep, I finished Phantom Liberty.

MAN. OH MAN.

I have so so so many emotions, I'm so... HHHH.

Big big big big big spoilers below the cut.

I only played through one of the expansion endings so far (siding with Songbird), and I played the new main game ending... and I'm such a fucking puddle of feels now hhhh.

What I can say is that... I still love the Sun ending a lot for Vince, and that won't ever change. But this new one now... I don't even know where to start MAAAnnn...

I started my 12 hour gaming session yesterday briefly before shit went down like... Feels like it was all in a different life (HAH). I really liked the whole prep-work for taking on Hansen, tracking down the rental car, the convo with Songbird about her past, and man, I said that before, the lil scene with Alex had me bawling. The little human moments of connection in the face of all the horrors Cyberpunk does so well that get me everytime. Vince getting up to dance with her was so fucking cute, and internally both me and him and Alex probably too knew that that would be the last moment of peace - and potentially (and he ended up being right) the last night they'd play on the same team.

Like... Even after the convo with Song, me, the player, was pretty sure I'd end up siding with Reed. He and Vince had a lot in common with their backgrounds, principles, etc etc. and Songbird seemed out of control, in a way, like Reed had said. But that whole sentiment he kept repeating ("she doesn't know what's best for her", "I gotta save her" etc etc) was beginning to creep into Vince's head and rubbing him the wrong way (having grown up with an over-bearing, controlling parent, the whole control-shit at Arasaka, etc etc) - subconsciously at first, but it got to a point where he could no longer rationalize it away.

AND THEN. FUCKING FUCK. The faceplate. I had been dreading that shit so fucking much, I knew it was coming but yeah... I think Vince would rather die than having that done on him out of his own free will. Like... the tech is insanely cool for a spy ngl. But Vince is not a spy. Not really. With his background and opinions of cyberware and everything... getting your face replaced is a step too far, a step he wouldn't wanna take, ever, unless like, he got his face melted off in a horrible accident or something like that. Not for a one-off mission, more or less, for people he didn't even fully trust. Both he and me were hoping that somehow there would be a way around it. Like you can talk your way out of taking the oath and so many other things. But no, this thing is forced on you (for plot reasons, obviously, and again, I fucking love the concept of it and the options it offers for gameplay. I'm really just speaking for my V's personal experience here XD)

That whole situation felt so fucking invasive to begin with, and I'm not even speaking about the cyberware. There was so much pressure, from Reed and the Ripper, zero explanation as to what exactly the Ripper was gonna do, just how invasive the procedure is (that it's not reversible just like that, for example). V was never shown the thing beforehand, never got an explanation what it's made of, how it works, how to maintain it. There way not a single friendly word, nocalming him down. Worst doctor expereience ever, and that's quite the achievement with Vince's trackrecord of dealing with horrible doctors in the past. The whole thing was traumatizing as hell for him, the whole experience, just being knocked out without much of a warning, then not even fully and HHHHHH.

And then he stumbles back out of there, desperately clinging onto the hope and trying to tell himself that it's all gonna be worth it, all the trauma, the pain, questioning his identity even more than he already does. But the show must go on. And so he goes on to kidnap the Frenchies, and for some reason he wants to believe these two nobodies will make it out of this mess alive somehow, against all odds. Yeah. No. But not just *that* they died, but *how* they died was the final straw. So fucking cold and brutal. Vince was shocked how Alex was suddenly so cold and brutal, although not quite as much as Reed. And then when Vince gets rightfully upset about the situation, how it was handled, how inhumane... Like, he had to kill a lot of people working for Arasaka, and as a merc, but he would always wanna make it quick, painless, if it was really necessary to kill someone to begin with. Unbekownst to the victim, bullet to the head, precise and quick. Especially if it was supposed to be an execution, not something that happens in combat. But these two kids were scared shitless, dragged out of the car and not executed but butchered, brutally. And when Vince gets upset, complains, is enraged about how unprofessional these two alleged spys are, Reed says "they were just some criminals, why would you care?" - you know, to the lowly criminal standing in front of him. That was the line that shattered the fragile trust V had left in Reed for good. Like... he didn't trust So Mi either, but she had just as many reasons to distrust Reed and the FIA and Myers as V, and he would've rather taken his chances with her instead after this final display of something he could absolutely not stand behind any longer.

Damn. I loved the whole sequence with Kurt, the convo, pretending to be Aymeric (from a player standpoint it was amazing, I also cackled later when I played Run this Town and got to use the disguise in a different context xD but honestly, Vince was hating every second of the meeting, also knowing he was just about to betray the people that hat brought him there.

Kurt's death was... maaan. Epic and a letdown at the same time. He would've deserved so much more screentime and a bigger part in all of it. I would've loved the option to side with him xD but then the DLC wouldve been even larger and even more complicated. Loved it as is though, still but yeah. Needs more Kurt!!!

Vince had no regrets about betraying Reed and putting his trust in Songbird until the very end... even when she ended up betraying him one final time with her revelation of the cure only working once. I fucking loved the confrontation with Reed on the bridge at the spaceport, I had been crossing my fingers so so hard for it to come to a showdown like that. I was so tempted for the dialogue choice of "take her, and I don't want anything for it in return". Cause like... despite everything, Vince had no desire to kill Reed. It wouldn't have changed a thing. Too many people had already died on his behalf anyway, and his hope for a cure was lost either way. So he ended up surrendering So Mi. I picked the option "deal", because I absolutely wanted to see the new main game ending, and I'm not sure if maybe with the "I dont want anything" choice you lock yourself out of it, but I will definitely test that out next time around.

The whole stuff that happened at the spaceport in general... I'm still trying to process it. And of fucking course Mr Blue-Eyes has his disgusting creepy fingers in all of it (or one of his associates) by helping So Mi, offering her this way out. I hate it (I love it). But that whole sequence of getting her to the spacecraft, I loved it so so much. Like all the boss fights and main missions, it was so nicely paced and structured, I had so much fun and I'm speaking as someone who is not good at fighting in video games.

So Mi's betrayal hurt, but letting her down in the end hurt even more. URGH. UUUURGH. But like... in that moment Vince was also like "okay... no cure. fine. But I'm not without leads, I'm just so done with all this spy crap. I should've never agreed to help her in the first place." If anything, he was sorry for things not turning out good for any of them really, but when do they do in NC.

He was glad to talk things out with Reed in the end to a degree, say his farewells. Still not getting his hopes up too high about him, still not really trusting him all that much. In a way still sympathizing, but at that point he'd be certain that he's done with the corporate world and anything like it for good. Revenge and hard feelings were pointless, Reed suffering from his decisions was punishment enough for Vince in that case.

I'm not sure if Vince would end up asking the FIA for help realistically. Like I said, I love the Sun ending for him a lot from a narrative standpoint. And Johnny's whole "please, don't do it", and him getting wiped as the price for it for good... that was at the same time not as bad as I had pictured it, but simultaneously it was awful. So yeah... I really don't know if, with all the choices present, the FIA would be number one. Realistically he'd wanna hear out Hanako first, and I think with how time-sensitive everything else is beyond that, the FIA is propbably off the table. Either way though... I wanted to see the ending.

I was bawling my eyes out during the AV ride, V and Johnny making up, talking a final time... and Johnny calling him Vincent in the end fucking destroyed me asödhjfasfasdf ;______; Doctor detected heightened emotions not just on V but on me as well that was so... HHHHHH. My feels ;__;

And then... the new main game ending. God. Like... ever since those new holocall icons of Kerry and Judy appearing a while ago, with Kerry's 2079 world tour promo... We had to get a timeskip. And I feared the cure would be tied to working for the FIA long term or some shit like that, something that would drive a wedge between V and his loved ones for good. The cure being tied to all sorts of horrible things I kept imagining...

And then the reality was so much more gentle and in a way so so fucking happy if that makes sense? Like... fuck, two years have passed. And fucking Reed and no one else in fucking Langley apparently considered even telling anyone back in NC about the complications of V's operation and all. Y'know, keep his loved ones in the loop after even telling him "tell your friends you'll be gone for a bit, a month tops". And that's the worst betrayal of the whole expansion for me cause like... it was so pointless. Did no one tell anyone cause they had no hope? Cause they wanted to sever V's ties on purpose? Was it Reed's decision, someone else's? Was it intended as punishment? Or was it downright laziness and uncaringness for V as a person, and he maybe just an interesting yet complicated experiment. That one really really hurt. And Vince could not blame Kerry or any of the others for being hurt by that and having moved on with their lives. He would've in their spot, for sure. And no, Reed, he absolutely fucking will not work for the FIA, fuck off. And then Vince fucked out of there as quickly as possible and never looked back.

The whole "your body can't tolerate implants anymore" thing... Did not really hit him that hard. Like... yeah. Netrunning, hacking, which he was always so fucking good at, is not gonna be a thing anymore in this timeline. And that he'll miss sorely. Feeling really really fucking capable about something he built a big part of his life around. That was a central part of his life for all his life, really.

But apart from that... he was always low on chrome. He wouldnt miss it nearly as much as other Vs I think. I think what he struggles with more is just recovering from the coma physically, how weak he is for sure for a while, the fact he probably will never be as fit as he used to be. But still... there's hope in that. Cause he gets to live. He never wanted to be a merc, he would make a damn good fixer for sure... but he'll find something else, something less dangerous. He won't be happy being just a nobody in the crowd, but he's also fallen from high places before and climbed back up, coming out on top every time, every time more himself, seizing new opportunities and making his way. He can make it out of that hole. Like, yeah, the timing sucks... But Kerry wants to see him again, and they can rekindle things. I'm sure they will. I'm so happy Kerry got to play at the Crystal Palace, he's so on top of his game, given how low he was when he and V first met. You know... he says he was hit hard by V's disappearance and potential death, but he's out there rocking the world. He's doing good, he didn't fall back into a spiral of depression and despair. And that makes me so happy. And Vince is gonna hold on to that thought of a future together not just not being off the table, but being so much more certain than before now.

Vince is upset about Panam being so upset, but he can understand her well. He wouldn't feel much different than her. He is sad about River not wanting to see him, but he hopes he can change his mind, somewhere down the line. He is so excited to meet Judy's wife, he is so happy she found peace and love. Hell, Vince would happily just be Kerry's useless trophy husband, if I'm being completely honest, and it's possible now. With no obligations in Night City left, no reputation to upkeep, they can do whatever they want. Rogue promises he wont be forgotten, he will be a legend of the Afterlife forever - one that actually gets to live a full life. Who can forget about all the horrors. He's gonna adapt and find his new thing and like, you know...

This little scene, and the farewell scene with Misty hit me so hard cause... remember this?

I actually... had something very very very similar planned for Vince in the long run that we get with PL now. I'm feeling extremely validated with my headcanons and ideas and concepts and just... Yeah. Not that that's absolutely necessary for fanfiction to be valid or anything, but I'm just... so happy.

I said it in a prev post, PL is the gift that gives on giving by granting me all my little wishes and confirming so many tiny random headcanons. But I didn't think it would also get me pretty much the ending I'd been working on already in the background, the one that he'd deserve. So yeah... idk. Cyberpunk can have happy (or at least bittersweet) endings, it does for me 100% now. V gets to live and survive, if you choose to, canonically.

[salmonidos]

So, silly string of theories abt the specials that came up during a convo with a friend. Obvs spoilers for The Star Beast ahead!

The Meep mentioned having a boss, and that was clearly something important. The Meep, also, has two hearts.

We know the Toymaker is going to be a main villain. This Eternal has probably been searching for the Doctor after being defeated by Hartnell's incarnation. It is possible he searched for someone with two hearts and stumbled upon the Meep. It is possible and likely that boss the Meep is referring to is the Toymaker, and that the Meep has somehow alerted the Toymaker about the Doctor's location - or the other way around, the Toymaker sent the Meep there specifically. Furthermore, there's a lot of talk about destiny in this episode, and if we go to the TARDIS wiki about the Eternals...

Furthermore! Rose Noble made a bunch of toys from her subconscious memories about Donna and the Doctor's adventures. *Toys*. What if those will come to life, becoming the creatures they represent? It could definitely become something *more* than just memories, as a plot device, right? And that'd be kinda fun. According to this from the same wiki, eternals can create objects from memories.

...well, controlling fate and destiny, that's something. And Donna and Rose had been having dreams. Is it all the whole meta-crisis stuff, or is this related? Is the Toymaker playing with destiny? Does this have anything to do with the Doctor's face being like it is now, the Toymaker arranging his toy pieces to match the Doctor's personal history? I mean it wouldn't be the same to play with the entire arc Donna had if you were some guy trying to arrange a game if the Doctor looked like some new guy, right?

My friend said the Toymaker could have created the psychedelic sun that influenced the Meep's species. It wouldn't be the hardest thing to do, I mean, he can create an entire realm. That led me to think, since the Meep used the psychedelic sun to control those UNIT soldiers, what if the Toymaker is using that to control the Doctor in that clip where they dance together? It doesn't seem like the Doctor is doing that willingly, it seems to me like he is under some kind of hypnosis or losing control of his body, not in an alternate reality but in the Earth we all see. It could be related. Or maybe he's just freezing him in time, but this would be more interesting and would give the psychedelic sun a stronger lore 🤷

...Or, listen, since Wilf was mentioned and there's Kate Stewart and UNIT again, maybe Wilf's memories could play a part on this, too. Which would be fantastically tragic, I mean Donna did mention he stopped talking abt aliens, likely cuz he knew that'd be unsafe for her, but... he loved the little green men, he loved the Doc, although he didn't talk abt it anymore he still thought abt it all. And knowing him he did so often.

Ok that's all for now, just random thoughts, might make sense might not! Thank you for coming to my very disorganised sleepy TED talk

[panelshowsource]

it's strange to you that people talk about not having seen charlie brooker in a while because he might be on a future episode of a show that hasn't been confirmed let alone aired yet? seems a bit unfair

charlie's certainly been very busy writing and producing lots of series! some people may not know he created the beloved cunk on britain and is now working on cunk on earth, he worked on the death to 2020 mockumentary, off the back of bandersnatch he wrote and produced a kids show for netflix called cat burglar. he's a busy man! but we were used to seeing him in the panel show sphere for so long that naturally the once-every-couple-years appearance doesn't fulfill the painful nostalgia sadly

hahahahahahaha that is soooooo funny to think about and i can hardly disagree with you. but omg victoria in the woods? VICTORIA? pleaseeeeee 😭

glad you're having fun! :')

i do remember it! i was (and am!) a huuuge doctor who fan and got into panel shows as a kid because i was following people like tennant and (speaking of problematic "comedic" behaviour of the noughties) barrowman, who would sometimes appear on them, and i feel like i remember — am i remembering correctly? i swear this happened — barrowman was on quiz night and ran on stage and ate shit? like he fell face first into the floor? something like that, and the whole studio went silent! that sticks out in my mind hahaha

that show is a prime example of how a 12yo american girl can know who, like, clare balding is. because people ask me allllll the time if i understand british cultural references and socio-political history, and i'm telling you shows like quiz night were how i absorbed some of the most random names and events! i also think quiz night was on the more adult end of the spectrum — compared to, like, the actual content of buzzcocks, wilty, argumental being easy for a kid to digest because it was mostly just adults shouting at each other about meaningless things — but quiz night felt like more of a brain exercise at that age, following more adult convos and banter than some of the other shows

still, even then i really never liked chris moyles. don't get me wrong, there's a fair share of 2000s/early 2010s british comedy and general british telly content i really love or just have strong nostalgia for, but there was a strong lad/ladette culture at the time that resulted in tons of homophobia and fatphobia, "taking the piss" that was actually just bullying, clarkson, you know what i mean — and chris was always one of the voices at the forefront of keeping that culture popular in radio and comedy, in my mind. so i always had a problem with him, even way back. honestly, i don't really like any of the big name djs like him, chris evans, johnny vaughn, etc. is he even a big thing anymore? i don't really know how his career trajectory went after leaving radio one

LMAO he must because i've seen plenty of his other outfits and they are certainly not grey, this is another one of his silly inside jokes — and by inside, i mean with himself — and i gotta admit it's worth a chuckle hehe

well no one's perfect :)

—

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[dats-hq]

Saki, 2/12/16/20

2. When I truly started to like this character

So I was already primed to like Saki a lot just because I loved her character design and thought she seemed neat from the 2018 trailers, but obviously that didn't make me as normal about Saki as I am now.

I wish I had a text dump of the game so I could pull up the exact lines, but basically the part where I started to truly like Saki was in the first Free Action section of Part 6 where you can talk to her in the waterway about how she's feeling after seeing Wendimon kill Shuuji. Up until this point, it was clear that Saki put a lot of effort into masking her true feelings from the group, and we had even seen her try to distance herself from her own emotions in Part 3 and 4 with regards to losing Professor and Ryo.

In Part 6, though, it suddenly seemed very clear to me that Saki actually didn't know her own emotions herself. She'd worn masks for too long. Seeing this only a few minutes after watching Shuuji unravel from a similar internal conflict, and less than an hour after the revelation of Saki's chronic illness, made a lot of things click into place for me. I'm actually not sure if it was written with any specific intention that you have this realization here, but hey! I did, and it created a compelling narrative to me!

By this point, I had enough trust in Survive's writing that Saki's illness wasn't some irrelevant, edgy detail. It had to be connected in some way to her larger character. More than that, this was clearly a part of a larger theme of internal vs external self that extended beyond just one of two subplots.

(Side note, I actually do have some quibbles with how Survive depicts disability with the whole game in mind, but that's a different conversation.)

12. Sexuality headcanon

If the question is just what her sexuality is, I'd guess bi, though lesbian isn't out of the question. What I headcanon much more strongly, however, is that Saki herself is not sure yet. She doesn't exactly struggle with it or anything, she just doesn't give it a lot of thought. She likes who she likes, and she figures the details will just work themselves out.

16. Childhood headcanon

I think I've alluded to this a few times before, but I think Saki was diagnosed at a very young age. In the Wrathful Part 10 flashback, we see her doctor mention that her illness isn't affecting her too badly at this time, which to me implies that there have been at least a few extensive periods of time where she was either doing better or worse. Moreover, in Saki's prequel story, we see that Saki is well aware of how to emotionally manipulate her mother by playing up her illness. She had to have been living with this for quite a while in order to get a sense for which approach would work when with her mom. She probably even has a different strategy for her dad.

I think this provides an interesting foundation for why she is so distant from her true feelings.

(And yes, I know that Saki was partially expressing authentic anxiety to her mom in that phone call, but consider how much avoidant behavior with her doctor got her into that position in the first place. The distance from her own emotions is often layered in ways Saki refuses to acknowledge.)

20. Weird headcanon

Damn, I have a lot of these.

I think one of her (extremely tertiary) concerns about surgery was visible scarring and that was partially reflected in how she felt toward Veggiemon and Blossomon at first. Though, by the end of the game, she's full-throatedly announcing her love for Blossomon in Talk convos, which I like to think implies that in the routes she survives to get surgery in, she embraces the scars.

In the hypothetical multiversal Digimon tamer conference I half-jokingly think about a lot, she ends up in the Plant Girl room since there's not actually that many repeats of Palmon, Floramon, or Lalamon. Anyway she'd get into an argument with Mimi about if Palmon or Floramon were cuter, but lowkey get mad when she saw how cute Yoshino and Mimi's evolutions are compared to hers lol. Gets along well with Catherine though.

If she tried hanging out with Miu and Minoru outside the context of Kemonogami business, it would be very awkward at first but eventually they'd go to a zoo or something and have a good time talking about random shit while looking at animals.

She is NOT a natural blonde.

[mypointisdolphins]

I’ve seen a few posts about the end of Doctor Who’s first 14 special where people are upset about Donna’s casual sexism in saying that the Doctor wouldnt know how to let it go because he’s a man or something like that, and I just wanted to put my input. Not praising sexism in anyway, just got me thinking…

I think the point behind that line wasnt just a cheap shot at men. I think it was more of a line in which it is a reversal of what is usually a shot at women, and Doctor Who has been guilty of this on multiple occasions, and I just feel like it was a line meant to be taken as if women have had it done to them, then why not men? Two wrongs dont make a right, of course, but that’s what happens in real life in casual convo.

Like my father just commenting ‘Women will buy anything.’ When talking about make up or whatever. I instantly had a whole list of things that men would buy that aren’t necessarily a need, but a want. It was like that, but said aloud.

The point Im trying to make is, many people will say the same sort of thing about women and just laugh it off, but when it is said about a man, it is a huge problem. And you’d think the high road would be well, then just nobody should say it, and youre right, they shouldnt. Definitely shouldn’t. But until everyone is ready to drop casual sexism and rid it entirely, the best thing writers can do is level the playing field.

Im neither defending nor denying either, thats just how it is realistically.

But no, that ending was super cheap lol. Catherine Tate as Donna still fave companion though.