tigressjasper

[carmenized-onions]

Chicago's Kindest | Blurb #02 - Good.

logline; sometimes you just need to hear someone else say it.

[!!!] series history; not a new chapter!! but like, it's fun, and it's better than the nothing you've been getting, eh?

portion; 2k, just over.

pairing; A platonic Rich & Chip fic, for the boys

tasting notes; a pepper of hurt? a bunch of comfort? I'd describe it as fluff, I think.

possible allergies; this blurb is AFTER the next chapter coming out whenever it comes out (Chapter 16). So. Get into that grindset man. there's a fun thing in this hinting at a fun thing to come !! so!! have fun!! You should definitely read the other chapters in the series before this!!

Not a new chapter baby I'm sorry! But I was noodling around this idea, and I think perhaps you may like it. Should blurbs go on the masterlist? Idk.

When you finally tell Richie he's a good dad, it's when both of you least expect it. Mostly because you weren't trying to tell him at all that day. 

It's January. About a week before the Taylor Swift concert. About a week into back to back to back reservations. Richie’s been burning the candle at both ends— He always gets tipped well, so it's not like it's not worth it. He's fucking Richie. He's the go to. He's good with people. ...Right?

Richie might care too much, might write himself in the schedule too much, might cover for wait staff at a moment's notice too much, might do research on guests in his off hours too much, might push himself to be present at every waking moment too much.

He wishes Carmen noticed, he's certain Carmen doesn't. 

He's taking two personal days for the concert. How dare he? He wouldn't do it under normal circumstances, but his sweets takes priority. 

Carmen, his Highness, will certainly notice time-off before anything else. Fucker.

To make up for it, Richie's working a double shift today. And he's made a ten-page pamphlet on all the reservations and details of the guests that'll be coming in while he's gone. He's good. He's Richie. He's a really good manager, a stellar host, fantastic with people. 

Is he a good dad? 

Probably not. Because he scheduled his make-up hours and didn't think to double check his custody hours. Deadbeat. God, fuck you, Carmen. 

It wasn't entirely his fault. Tif asked if he'd want the extra weekend since something about wedding planning came up. And he did, he always does. More time with Eva is good time with Eva.

And usually he's very good at plugging that into his calendar but he got the call at a very busy time on his shift and he just said yes before actually putting it in and then forgot— Who remembers anything that happens in a phone call? She should’ve sent him a summary email—it got away from him, suffice to say. Then Tif texted asking ‘Hey, when are you coming to pick her up?’ and then suddenly he's the bad guy? Deadbeat. Bad dad. Richie Bad News. Fucked accent. Fuck you, David. Fuck executive chefs all together, just write them all off. 

He called around asking any and everyone if they could take Eva off his hands for just a couple hours, but Richie hasn’t really had many connections since his one connection kicked his bucket. The rest of his connections work the same hours as him, at the same fucked establishment as him. 

Well, that’s what he thought, until he complained about this to you over the phone, first thing in the morning, before he’s set to pick up Eva. 

“I could take her.” The words are lovely and jumbled. He can hear you shovelling scrambled eggs into your mouth. “Could just make Lu cover bar, he’s been wanting to test drive alone anyways.”

Excuse Richie, but he’s always been one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It’s a habit. “Isn’t the whole point of test driving to have someone watching you?” He wishes he was eating eggs too, but again, candle’s on fire. He’s choking down a Kashi bar and attempting to be happy about it.

“Meh.” Is all you reply. Meh. “He’s a talented ass chef, he can handle making some fuckin’ cocktails without me over his shoulder.” 

Even still, he’s got to work out all the kinks. “Carmen’s gonna be pissed.” But you both know, while he’ll have a less than stellar day without you, he will have a fucking awful day without Richie. 

“He will live.” There’s a moment of silence, as you finish chewing down your last few bites of breakfast. “…Would you please give me the gift of some long overdue Eva time, Rich?”

And when you put it like that, when you put it like he’s actually the one doing you the favour… Eva is dropped off at your place an hour before he has to clock in. It’s a touch hurtful how excited she is to spend a couple hours with you instead of him. 

“It’s the return of the champ!” But he gets it, as soon as they arrive, and you’re out front on your stoop ready to throw fake punches at Eva like a boxing coach. “They said she’d never be back in the ring folks—” And picking her up. “But here she is, better than ever, ready to face any and every challenger! E-E-Eva!”

Easy for anyone to get excited at the idea of hanging out with you. He wishes he could join in for even a few minutes, but it’s not in the cards— Nor today’s packed schedule. Rich promptly and tiredly runs over everything you need to know for the day, leaning against your doorway as Eva runs around in your apartment. 

“Full of energy today, get ready to be ever so slightly annoyed because she will not stop playing the why game today.” 

“Hm.” You hum, not the least bit annoyed by the idea. “I played that a lot too, I think. It’s simply karma.”

There’s a sigh of a smile on Richie’s face. God he looks burnt out. You won’t prod, though your worried face does plenty on its own. “Can I make you a coffee or somethin’ before you head out, Rich?” 

“No, no, it’s good.” He’s quick to shake his head, straightening up off your door. “I’ll get Copenhagen to make me somethin’, test drive, y’know?”

“A’right.” All you can do is shrug. “I will feed her the normal foods at the normal times, make her take her two naps, and we will be mostly screenless, if we can help it. But I think I fuck with Bluey more than she does, so…”

“I owe you.” 

The reply is off the cuff, “No you don’t, just bring me back a dead plate or somethin’.” 

Richie smiles and nods, but there’s a hesitation to it. And whether you notice it, or he even notices it himself, he’s not sure. But as you close the door, you peek it open, noticing something. You surprise the man, when you suddenly reach out and lightly slap his neck. You scratch at scruff that isn’t there, smiling. 

He lined up his beard. Richie listens. Even when he doesn’t want to.

“Good man.”

You close the door with a smile, like you didn’t just blast open his brain. You know what to say even when Richie doesn’t know what he wants to hear. And all he wants to hear is good. Good job. Everyone sees the work you’re putting in. You’re valuable. 

“What the fuck— Richard, no surprises—” “Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, of course surprises—” “It’s gonna make a mess—” “If Chip were here, you wouldn’t have a problem—” “Well she’s not here, isn’t she? She’s at home taking care of your kid—”

“W—Woah-holy-shit—” Syd has to elbow her way between Carmen and Richie— And a pinata— To break up this fight. “Way too personal too fast, straighten it the fuck up, Chef.” 

She rubs her chest with her fist, and Carmen returns it, after a deep breath. A thousand yard stare towards no one, as he apologizes— Well, he never really says it, but when he says, “My fault. I’m hot.” He means sorry. 

“You need… A second?” Sydney gestures over his general form. “Want to take your ten?”

“Five. Smoke break. Thank you, chef.” And he’s off. Double entendre. He’s always off, when you’re off. 

Syd turns back to Richie. She replaces you as union rep, when you’re off. She doesn’t ask questions, she doesn’t refuse Richie and his pinata, she doesn’t say, ‘Good idea, Richie, Fantastic research on the couple at table sixteen, Good job finding out that they met at a chocolate museum in Brussels as teenagers on separate school trips. It was all worth it, and you’re so valuable.’

She just says, “I’m not cleaning it up.”

But no skin off his back, he shrugs. It’s not meant to be a thankless job, but it is. “Fair enough.” And he puts on his brightest smile, grabs a bottle of champagne off of your shelf, and puts on a fucking show. 

When he’s finally finished, Richie does remember to grab you a dead plate. Well, more specifically, he grabbed a dead plate and then Carmy asked if it was for you, and when he said yes, the stupid loverboy fuck made him wait as he made you— And only you, a star worthy dinner. Yuck. 

He ate your original dead plate in the meanwhile. Richie texts you all this, sending terribly unflattering photos of Carmen during the whole cooking process. You laugh, over text, and tell him you’ll leave the door unlocked for him— Despite as bad an idea as he thinks that is, he just texts back a thumbs up. 

And when he finishes the exhausting day finally, and drives over to your place, and opens your door with one hand, tupperware in the other— He grimaces, as he can overhear his wonderful daughter playing the extremely aggravating ‘Why?’ game, with you, in the kitchen.

He quietly closes the door, not wanting to cause too much of a commotion. Neither of you seem to hear him, so he’s able to listen in. 

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can’t I use the knife?”

Richie watches from the archway, just peeking slightly. You’re cutting carrots as a late night snack for yourselves. Your back is turned to him and Eva’s sitting on the kitchen counter. She’s not really letting the bowl you’re tossing the carrot sticks in get very full— She’s dipping them in ranch and eating them pretty immediately. 

“Because you might get hurt.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve got little hands, and this is a big knife.”

“Why?”

“Because weirdly enough, big knives always seem to be the cheapest at my grocery store— I really don’t get it.”

“Hm.” She kicks her legs in the air, thinking of her next line of questioning. “Why are you watching me tonight?”

Because Richie’s forgetful, a bad dad, a typical deadbeat divorcee with half a brain— 

“Because I love you. Duh.” Well, of course you have to say that. 

“Why?”

“Because you’re a good egg.”

“Why?”

“Because your dad— And mum— Made you into a good egg.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a good dad.”

Oh. Thank God for Eva asking on his behalf, “Why?”

“Because he’s good.” You say it like it’s so simple, mind still focused on cutting carrots, like you’ve said something as easy as describing the weather. 

“Why?”

“Well— I dunno, that’s like asking—” You put down your knife to pick up what’s left of your current carrot. “This carrot, why is it a carrot?”

“...” Eva can’t help but laugh as she answers, “Because it’s a carrot!” 

“Exactly! It’s a carrot! It just is a carrot! You can’t ask a carrot why it’s a carrot— It’s just a carrot!” You chuckle in return, putting the carrot back down to chop it once more.

You shake your head as you answer, “You can’t ask why Richie’s— Why your dad is good. He just is. He’s good.”

If he were still alone in his car with his Kashi bar wrappers hearing this, he’d probably be crying into your tupperware.

But he’s here, so, can’t.

He takes a step into your kitchen— “Th—”

Immediately, you shriek, stepping in front of Eva as you turn around, knife in hand. No coherent words come out of you, just screaming, thinking you’re about to pay repentance for leaving your door unlocked. 

He almost drops your tupperware, holding it up in what is either defense or an offering. “Not a third time, Christ, please God?!”

At least he knows that in a time of crisis, you can go to bat for his kid. 

At least Richie knows his best actively alive friend thinks he’s a good dad; thinks he’s good.

At least Richie will think of your words instead of any execs first, in his head. 

yippee!!!

one day i'll write romance for this guy, one day. maybe.

anyways. sorry for my absence!! i cannot say it will improve my loves. don't worry, we're still finishing CK, it has just REALLY gotten tossed down the laundry list. No one reads these, but, life updates:

Got a new job! In my industry! I'll be working part-time hours there, so I had to talk to my current job about going part time--- And they let me!! Lowkey was hoping my ass would get fired so I'd have more time for you and more importantly, the next thing i'm gonna write about. Alas. We ball.

NOT a we ball moment, PARENT GOT THE BAD DISEASE!!! (fuck cancer!!!) Send sweet thoughts psychically, but not through actual message or asks or anything because i DO hate talking about it, but yknow. that's taken up obviously: most of my time lately!!

so many parties in october man. having our housewarming party next weekend. yes i know it's weird to be normal in this state but that's sort of how life is. we have to keep going?? crazy .

anyways. Hopefully once I start my new position, I can have a concrete schedule for writing. But until then! I'll probably write you short blurbs whenever inspiration hits, so send in requests man!!

Not to be stupid but requests and just talking about writing instead of the big bad evil in my life will do WONDERS for my mental stabilty!! so come yap in my inbox about CK and make me write about it.

love you!!! bed time for me now jesus chrsit.

[weird-an]

Steve's dad hates his job, his mother finds it endearing and calls it a hobby. Steve didn't talk to them for three months now.

Look, he didn't want to become a kindergarten teacher. Kids annoy the shit out of him, starting with the nerd squad that some day sat on the backseat of his BMW and never left.

But he's good at it. With the kids. He didn't think he could have been, because he doesn't know what it is parents exactly do, how to deal with children, but he learned.

It's the first job he wants - and that after seven years of boredom and the sinking feeling that he'll never be good at anything. Jesus, even the kids know he's good at it. The kids that aren't kids anymore, but friends. Max and Lucas whose daughter now comes to his kindergarten, too.

Jordan reminds him so much of them. A little rascal with too much energy and too much heart. Swears like a sailor, but being one of the kindest kids in the group.

It's the end of the day and Steve waits for her to get picked up. Finally, there's someone at the door and he turns around to greet Lucas who usually runs a little late.

He freezes. Jordan squeals with joy.

"Uncle Billy!" She climbs up his leg until she's lifted up.

"Am I dreaming or is that you, Harrington?" Billy Hargrove stands in front of him. Well and alive and with the same shit eating grin that was on his lips seven years ago. He's wearing an apron, hair escaping the loose bun, like he has just hurried here from work. From a bakery, it seems.

"You're awake, fipshit," Jordan explains with the seriousness of a kid that got it all figured out, because adults are stupid.

"It's dipshit," Billy corrects, sounding all proud. Well. That explains Jordan's language.

"Dipshit," Jordan repeats, nodding along.

"I didn't know you lived here," Steve says lamely. Chicago isn't Hawkins, but he thought Hargrove would have left the state after surviving the monster's attack.

"Moved here a week ago - to be close to my niece," Billy just says, booping Jordan's nose. He gives her a big smile, freckles dancing and cheeks dimpling.

It's odd to see him like that. Unguarded, grinning, happy. He's beautiful, Steve thinks before he can catch himself.

"Billy wants to see if Hawwi - Harrington is still hot," Jordan announces innocently.

Oh. Steve's heart flutters.

Billy's nose turns red. "Jordan Sinclair," he growls.

"Uncle Billy," she cheers.

She's Steve's favourite kid, he decides.

"I make some damn good pies," Billy says, face still crimson. "If you get tired of eating with three year olds."

He's trying to sound cool. It's hard when there's a three year old beginning to braid his mullet.

How can Steve say no to that?

[transit-fag]

Kindest City Poll

[little-annie]

In This Lifetime

---

Vecna's dead and the gates are closed and life is finally back to normal.

Well except for one thing.

Eddie's entire view of Steve Harrington has been tipped on its axis, shattered, booted off a fucking cliff. Whatever you want to call it. Because, well, the guy's not an asshole. He's strong and passionate and so goddamn caring. He's probably the kindest, most giving person Eddie's ever met and although he'd like to say he doesn't know what to think of it, we'll he does. And he thinks he's in love.

Steve Harrington is like fucking sunshine and unfortunately for Eddie's fragile heart, that glow of light doesn't fade.

They become friends. Best Friends. Nearly inseparable. Attached at the hip throughout the years.

They move to Chicago together, rent a shitty two bedroom apartment that maybe as well be one because they still have nightmares and being plastered next to one another seems to calm those terrors.

They laugh and they sing and they dance around the kitchen while they smile and cook and inevitably burn whatever meal they had planned, opting to order pizza instead.

Eddie's in a band and Steve never misses a show.

Steve's in school, planning to become a Guidance Counselor and Eddie's by his side quizzing him with the reward of candy in hand.

It's perfect, living life together in domestic bliss. Even if all they are is only just friends.

But it's still perfect all the same and if it was up to Eddie, he'd spend the rest of his life in these years. Repeat them again and again, if only to fall asleep at Steve's side and wake up to honey-brown eyes every morning.

But he knows it can't always be like this and that's why this is the hardest thing he's ever done.

This is the hardest thing he's ever done, and he's done some difficult shit. Like surviving a near death experience in literal hell being the main contender. But sitting across from Steve Harrington as he turns a little golden ring between his fingers and goes over his proposal plan, yeah that's pretty fucking difficult.

And it shouldn't be, he should be excited, he should be cheering for his friend but there's a gnawing feeling in his gut that's telling him it should be him. It should be him that Steve drops to a knee for, it should be him that Steve professes his undying love to, it should be him that'll one day get to call this man his husband.

But it's not. It's not because even though he's known this ragtag group of monster hunters for years now he's never been able to come to terms with telling them that he's gay and he sure as shit hasn't come to terms with telling Steve Harrington that he loves him and loves him in a very much not 'just friends' kind of way.

So that's why when Steve asks him what he should say to this woman [Becky, who quite frankly could double as Eddie's twin] he spills the beans. In a very subtle way he supposes. He doesn't come out, doesn't outright tell Steve he loves him, but as he's telling Steve what to say to his future fiancé, he's letting his emotions come out like word vomit, only wishing Steve knew he was talking about him.

"I don't know man." Eddie huffs, shuffling uncomfortably in his chair, eyes avoiding Steve's as he contemplates his words.

But it's hardly more than a few seconds before they come tumbling out, Eddie sucking in shaky breath before he stares into the carpet and begins to speak, "Tell her she's like sunshine, beautiful and bold and the source of life. That she's like the blood in your veins, forever present in the most beautiful way and the only thing that keeps your heart beating. Tell her that even on the most difficult days that she's the one you want to see, the one you want to hold, the one that makes you take the breath you need and steady your heart when it's beating out of control."

It's a building thing, slowly growing out of control, he can feel his pulse thrumming in his veins and he's beginning to think he might just do something crazy. He pauses for a moment, gauging Steve's expression. He'd gone to get them beer and hasn't bothered to sit back down since Eddie began talking. There's an indecipherable expression on his face and he's stood still, in front of the couch, beers on the coffee table and he's silent, waiting for Eddie to continue.

And you know, if Eddie was a normal man he'd stay in his chair, talk to his friend from an acceptable distance away and not profess his love, but he's not. He's a showman and as his acting skills get the best of him, he's moving, shuffling across the carpet, taking Steve's hand in his own and kneeling before him. Because why not make this a harder interaction for himself. Christ, it nearly feels like the real thing as he looks into Steve's eyes and shuffles the littlest amount closer.

Eddie shudders a breath, taking a single second to appreciate this moment, even if it'll never truly be real and then he continues, "You get down on your goddamn knee Steve Harrington and you say, ' Sweetheart you're the only thing that keeps me alive in this crazy fucked up world. Having you in my arms and my heart keeps me steady and breathing. I've been through some shit, but I'd go through it all again to find you in the end. The blood, the sweat, the tears, nearly fucking dying to be by your side for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with you Darling, I want us to grey and weather together. To find ourselves fifty years from now watching our kids and our grandkids; all the life we've brought into this world. All the love our life together has brought into existence."

Eddie's crying now, because of course he is, he's confessing his love to someone he knows will never hold the same emotions for him, but through a watery laugh and a sniffle he carries on, tightening his grip on Steve's hands.

"I want you in this lifetime and the next, in any way that you'll have me. I can't bear the thought of a single day without you let alone an entire lifetime. I'll find you, I promise I will Sweetheart, but for this lifetime, I ask that you spend the remainder of it with me."

It's cheesy, he knows, but it seems to take effect because as he looks into the eyes of the man above him he sees the swell of tears gathering along thick dark lashes.

The room's suddenly silent, save for the pounding of Eddie's pulse in his ears and the hope that Steve didn't see through his actions or words. That all he saw was his rather expressive friend acting out as per usual.

But a tear finally escapes and rolls down Steve's tanned cheek and a rather aggressive sob breaks past his lips.

Eddie's to his feet in seconds pulling Steve to his chest, one arm firmly around his waist while another wraps around his shoulders and cradles a head of mousy hair as close as he can. Steve's sobbing, short shaky breaths and surely there's snot and tears staining Eddie's shirt, but it's not like he can say much, what with silent tears streaming down his own cheeks and dripping to Steve's hair.

Steve hiccups around a sob, voice shaky and muffled against Eddie's shoulder, "I can't do this."

God, that's not what Eddie wanted to do, he didn't mean to scare Steve away from his impending engagement. No matter how much he wished it was him. He loves Steve, but if he can't have him, he just wants him to be happy. He deserves happiness. He deserves love.

Even if it's not with him.

Eddie cards his fingers soothingly through Steve's hair as he speaks, "Yes you can. I know you can. Steve, you love her, you're just scared. You can do this."

Another sob heaves against Eddie's chest while Steve continues to shake in his arms, "I can't Eddie."

"Why not Sweetheart?"

Steve's knees give out as a pained nose escapes his throat, dropping to the floor, taking Eddie with him, he doesn't answer, only continues to cry and burrow into Eddie's chest upon settling into their new position on the ground.

He's verging on a panic attack, Eddie knows this, he's seen it many times before. The way Steve's fists clench in his shirt and his breaths are short and sudden, gasping for air that's not filling his lungs, he's flushed white and Eddie knows it's only a matter of time before he gets sick.

"Stevie, come on, you gotta settle down. I'm sorry if I said anything wrong, I didn't mean to if I did. We can talk about it later. But right now you just gotta breathe for me okay." Eddie grabs Steve's hand, tight fist and all and holds it against his chest, allowing Steve to feel his steady breaths, "Breathe in with me, come on Big Guy. Take a deep breath in." Eddie takes a large lungful and holds it for a second, waiting for Steve to do the same and even though it's shaky and raspy he manages.

They repeat this process ten times over, Steve's head and hand now resting against Eddie's chest, their backs to the couch, the rooms fallen silent enough that only muffled sniffles are audible aside from the hum of electricity and the joyous screams of children outside.

After a moment, Steve wiggles himself closer, if even possible and again states, "Eddie, I can't do this."

He's not quite sure how to answer, really. Should he push or should he allow Steve to call off the engagement before it even happens. Lord knows where his own wishes lie. "You wanna tell me why you think you can't do this?"

Steve's breathing picks up again, but before he can reach hysterics Eddie's fingers card through his hair and he soothes Steve back to baseline.

"You," Steve whispers after quite some time of Eddie waiting for a response. It's a quiet thing, Eddie wouldn't have even heard it if he wasn't intentionally listening for Steve to say something.

It's a pain in the chest to know he may be the reason for Steve not to propose, sure he wished it wouldn't happen, but not like this. For him to say something so stupid that makes Steve call the whole thing off, "I'm sorry if I-"

He doesn't have time to finish his sentence before Steve's speaking, "No, not like that, you have nothing to be sorry for Eds. Its just- fuck- I wish I could tell you."

Combing his fingers through Steve's hair, Eddie reassures, "Steve, you can tell me. Please. I want to help."

Steve shakes his head, wrapping an arm tight around Eddie's waist, tucking his head in close, "It's nothing you can help with Eddie."

Nosing against the side of Steve's head, hair tickling his nose, Eddie whispers, soft, gentle, scared to frighten Steve off, "Try me."

And then it's silent. Dead quiet and for quite a long while. He knows Steve will answer, he knows he's just gathering his words, sorting things out before he speaks. It's obviously something big, something important to have warranted such a reaction from such a strong man.

It's with a sudden movement that Steve's sitting upright, turning to face Eddie with the appearance of confidence and sheer fear on his face. He looks fucking terrified. Working his jaw, eyes darting all over Eddie's face before he finally settles on his eyes and speaks, "I love you, okay." The words are far from gentle, they're sharp, rushed, sudden, like if he didn't get them out they'd burn a hole in his throat, but before Eddie has a second to even process those few words, Steve's barreling on.

"And when you were down on your knee infront of me, I wanted nothing more than for that to be the real thing, for those words to actually be directed towards me because I love you so fucking much it hurts. And I get it, I do. I know you're straight and we can never be a thing or really even get married but Eds, fuck, I love you so much and I can't marry Becky knowing I feel that way about you. I was going to try because I knew this could ne-"

He knows what Steve was meaning to say, but Eddie had to cut him off before those words could be spoken into existence because they're wrong. It can happen. Holy fucking Christ, Steve's loves him. It can all happen.

"I love you too," he says with such haste, taking Steve's face into his hands as he speaks with so much passion it nearly hurts, "-so much."

Cheeks squished in Eddie's grasp, Steve's eyes begin to well with tears once again, but now, now a smile is fighting its way to his lips, only growing with utter disbelief as Eddie quietly says, "and I meant every word of it. Every fucking word Sweetheart."

Steve's eyes search Eddie's own for only half a second before their lips crash together. It's a feverish thing, years of pent up love and need crammed into a single embrace, but their lips move as if they've met a million times before. And maybe they have. Maybe through the thousands of years this little rock in space has been turning, they've never left one another's side. Maybe they do find each other in every lifetime. Maybe they fall in love against all odds. Maybe this lifetime is no different.

Many Years Later

Turns out, it's not different at all.

When the time comes, so does the real proposal. It's been planned for years and when word of legalisation reaches Eddie's ears he's running to Steve. Dashing through streets, shouldering past strangers and dropping with a painful thud to the hardwood of Steve's office floor. In those few short moments to follow, the life he wished to have so many years ago becomes a reality.

Steve's his fiancé.

Soon to be his husband.

In this lifetime and the next.

---

[total-dxmure]

ೃ࿔ TOTAL-DXMURE’S MASTERLIST

“so what’s it gonna take silver shadow believer…?”

most, if not all, of my fics will include detailed smut, so minors do not interact! this is my masterlist of series and oneshots. see something that piques your interest? give it a read! please make sure to read the warnings at the beginning of each fic to make sure you aren’t triggered by any of its contents.

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total word count: 13.8k

✦ CHERRY FLAVORED MINI SERIES MASTERLIST

your guitarist was carted off to rehab after just one month into your recent tour. fuck. there’s only one thing you can do, and that’s hire a replacement. your band thinks it’s going to be nearly impossible to find someone that is on the same level of talent as your ��beloved” guitarist. you don’t have high hopes that anyone can nail the songs quite like he did either, if you’re being brutally honest. enter ellie- she’s a mega fan. the girl knows every lyric and note like the back of her hand. . . and everything about you, which isn’t creepy at all. her apparent obsession with you is something that you and your tour manager can overlook if it means carrying on with the rest of the tour. forced proximity with a stalker-level fan . . . what’s the worst thing that could happen?

total word count: 4.6k

✦ KILL SWITCH SERIES !TEASER!

✦ SANGUINARIAN SERIES !TEASER!

“… spock rocker with your dirty eyes.”

[withwritersblock]

Say Love

~Say Love by James TW~

Author's Note: this is inspired by Chimney and Maddie from 9-1-1: such an amazing show. As always italics are flashbacks Summary: Kirby says I love you for the first time Warnings: mention of emotional abuse in relationships Word Count: 1,200 Kirby Dach x fm!reader

There is something so pretty about the way he eyes her. She was brighter than the sky during a sunset. She was warm and the kindest person he’d ever met. He was in love. He has yet to tell her. He was afraid that she wouldn’t say it back. 

She has been waiting for Kirby to come back for three days. He had scored in a shootout against his former team in Chicago. He called her the second he got back to his hotel room and they talked the entire night. 

She stood against the kitchen counter as his door was pushed open. He smiled widely as he dragged his suitcase inside. “Hey baby,” he mumbled as he rested his suitcase against the wall and walked towards her. She jumped into his arms as she laughed.

“God, I’ve missed you,” she whispered into his ear as she rested her hand on the base of the neck. He loosely wrapped his arms around her waist as he spun her in a circle, “How are you feeling?” she asked as he delicately put her down. His hands were still holding her waist as she rested her hands on his cheek. He smiled.

“Amazing, so glad to be home,” he muttered as he leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. “So glad to see you,” he mumbled against her lips as he guided her backwards towards the couch. He kissed her again as he tightened his grip against her waist. 

“I wish I was there,” she mumbled as she slowly sat down on the couch, keeping his lips close to hers. 

“Me too baby,” he said as he pulled away from her. He looked deeply into her eyes as he lifted his hand and rested it onto her cheek. His thumb slowly ran across her warm cheek. 

The words were on his tongue for the first time in their relationship. He’s spent his entire roadtrip thinking about her and craving her touch. He missed the way she made him feel. He missed when his heart would race just by meeting her eye. 

It was still early, too early to say it but he thought it. He felt the words on his lips and wanted to say them the longer he searched her features. Instead his lips found hers again as he slowly pushed her on her back; climbing on top of her.

She was sitting on their balcony, drinking a cup of coffee as she watched the sunset over Montreal. A place she moved to a year ago because she wanted a new life. A new life that she wasn’t aware of was going to later include a gorgeous man. She had gotten out of a long term relationship that was incredibly toxic. Emotionally hard to be involved in. 

The last thing she ever wanted was to be in a relationship. Until she met a boy who lived in the same apartment building as she did. He was also new to town and also unwilling to be in a relationship. 

All Kirby wanted was a friend that didn’t play hockey. Kirby and Y/N first met while they were getting packages from their mailboxes. After that she invited Kirby up to her apartment. They played Mario Kart and talked about their new lives in Montreal. 

Any time they weren’t busy with other people they would hang out. And after four months, she kissed him and they started dating shortly after. 

She ran her hands over the sweater on her frame as Kirby raised his hand up and knocked it onto Nick’s door. The team was having a get together before the holiday break and Kirby was introducing Y/N for the first time. 

“Come in!” Nick shouted from inside. He met her gaze and raised his eyebrows. She nodded her head as she took a hold of his hand. Leaning towards her, he pressed his lips against her cheek before he pushed open the door. “Kirby man,” Nick shouted as he walked away from Cole.

Nick quickly wrapped his arms around Kirby, “How are you always the last one here?” Nick chuckled as he pulled away, glancing at Y/N.

“Nick, this is my girlfriend, Y/N,” he mumbled as he pulled her closer to his side. Y/N smiled kindly towards him.

“Nice to meet you, welcome to the family,” Nick expressed excitedly as he smiled towards her.

“Thank you,” she mumbled as she leaned closer to Kirby. He ran his hand up and down her side.

“Come on, I wanna show you off,” he mumbled against her hair before he kissed the top of her head. She chuckled nervously as she remained attached at his hip.

She rested her head on his chest, as she felt his hands run slow circles across her skin. It was perfect. Just the two of them in bed together, watching the sun rise over the city of Montreal.

Except Kirby was keeping his eyes on Y/N, admiring the sleepiness in her features. The three words were on his tongue as he wanted nothing more than to say them.

“You’re so quiet,” she mumbled before she pressed her lips against his chest. He hummed as his hand started to slowly glide up her skin.

“Just thinking,” he mumbled as she lifted her head up to meet his gaze, his lips curled upward.

She hummed, “Yeah?” she asked as she pursed her lips forward. He hummed as he bit his bottom lip. She furrowed her eyebrows as she smirked softly. “So are you going to tell me?” she asked as she glided her hand up his chest. 

He looked deeply into her eyes, “I love you,” he blurted out. His eyes widened as well as her own. Her lips parted as her heart started to race. “I’m sorry-”

“No, no, don't apologize,” she mumbled as she kissed him. She pulled away and stared into his eyes, “I just haven’t been able to hear those words without flinching in years,” she mumbled as she ran her thumb across his cheek, the beard scratching her skin. He ran his hand up and down her back soothingly. 

“I feel the same way,” she muttered, his smile faltering slightly. “I just don’t know if I can say those exact words,” he clenched his jaw as he furrowed his eyebrows, “I would use those words as a defense against my ex. I never really felt like they meant what they should’ve meant when I would say them. I don’t know if that makes any sense but Kirby, I truly believe you are my soulmate,” she mumbled.

His smile formed on his lips widely again as he scanned her features, “One day, I can say it back,” she muttered. He leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. “Say it again,” she mumbled against his lips, meeting his gaze.

“I love you,” he let out, her heart fluttering, “I love you so much,” he expressed.

“I’m gonna need you to say it a lot,” she mumbled as she pecked her lips against his.

“Don’t worry, baby girl, I’ll say it enough for the both of us,” he said before he devoured her lips with his.

[sheetsonfire]

Free Will

Fandom: Chicago Med

Pairing: Will Halstead x Reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, romance

Word Count: 6462

Summary: Will makes a decision that throws everything the reader thought they knew into question. Where will the road take them?

A/N: This is part of @resanoona's #resa.3kfiestabingo! I'm using this fic to fill the "Hurt Feelings" square! Thank you so much @resanoona for reading, suggesting and correcting my tired ramblings!

I'm so sorry it took me literally two weeks to get this fic done, but hopefully, the size makes up for it! Happy reading!

-

Sometimes it’s easy to convince yourself of something until reality so starkly and irrefutably proves otherwise. So the night you see Will kissing Nina Shore from pathology, in the middle of Molly’s, it hurts possibly more than you thought it could.

-

There had never been an official relationship between you and Will, but the both of you had become closer of late - a shared routine, the hangouts on off-days, the conversations you would share in quiet moments on shift, and the post-work drinks at various bars around the city had started to feel a lot like dating.

A year’s worth of getting to know each other beyond colleagues and now you weren't sure what you had to show for it.

You weren’t naive to the fact that a close friendship could be just that and nothing more. In some ways, you were okay with its platonic nature, yet Will always looked at you with such intensity and interest that you could have sworn it to be something else.

In fact, that night at Molly’s Bar was going to be the night. After multiple consultations with Maggie, April and even Connor who had chipped in with his encouragement, you felt ready to ask Will whether there was actually a chance of more.

Sometimes you considered asking Jay, Will’s brother, for his input on the situation but you were always afraid of the answer. There was always the possibility that Jay could tell Will and you hadn’t been ready for that complication either.

-

So, you were in the bar, wandering off from the large gathering of Med, Fire and PD friends, who had pushed tables together. They were well into their merriment of earned rest and you had decided it was time to visit Herrmann at the bar - liquid courage was definitely needed for what was coming next.

You smile brightly at the older man who gives you a wink, grinning at the sight of your familiar and friendly face. You were happy to wait patiently for him to be free to serve you, he had always been a source of wisdom and encouragement for you - one of the kindest people you knew.

Eventually, Chris makes it to you, a bar towel slung over his shoulder, “What’s up, Y/N, what can I get ya?” He waits for an answer, tilting his head curiously as you smile sheepishly. You're tapping your fingers on the counter as you measure your words.

“Hey Chris, can I get whatever will get me buzzed the fastest?”

Chris laughs, nodding, “Sure, Y/N, can I ask why?”

You knew that question was coming, and you cleared your throat.

Feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks, casting a brief look back at the table where everybody was sitting, laughing and engrossed in different conversations. You could see Nina shimmying her way around Connor to sit where you had sat next to Will.

Watching the scene with a jolt of irritation, you see her pressing up close to him. The conversation already seems intimate, and you can’t look away. Only brought back by Herrmann’s gentle call of your name.

“Sorry, Herrmann…Um, I was going to, uh, ask Will something important, I need something to quieten the nerves before I chicken out.” The words come out, but you can already feel your mind changing direction, the urge to abort the plan was growing fast.

Herrmann nods, holding his hands up in understanding, “Say no more. Good luck to you, kiddo.” Grinning as he pours you a few shots, he always was a champion for the romantic.

You hold out the shots to Chris in a ‘cheers’ gesture before knocking them back one after the other, feeling the liquid burn as it makes its way down your throat, a heat beginning to thrum in your veins. This was exactly what you needed, for better or for worse.

-

With the shots down and the confidence blooming in your chest, you say your farewell to Chris and start to shimmy through the crowd back to your table. You’re just passing where Matt Casey and Kelly Severide are sitting when your eyes lock onto an unwanted sight ahead of you.

Nina’s arm is looped snugly around Will’s waist, and he is the same in kind. You watch as he leans down to listen to something she’s saying, concentrating on her words over the hubbub of the bar, it makes him turn to smile at her.

From your position, you can even see the mischievous twinkle in Will’s eyes, and like a slow-mo car crash you feel your stomach drop as Nina leans up and Will leans into a kiss.

You’re frozen. Your trance was only broken by Casey’s concerned call of your name.

You blink, willing yourself away from the sight of your best friend making out with someone else. Turning to see Matt and Kelly watching you carefully like you were going to disintegrate at any moment.

“You alright, Y/N?” Kelly asks, standing from his chair to move closer to you.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and the full rush of embarrassment threatens to consume you, even if nobody else knew what you were thinking or how you felt. You felt transparent.

Eventually, you bring yourself to answer the firefighters, pushing a smile onto your face. “Yeah, I’m good, guys. Sorry, I just remembered I’m late for something else. Tell the others I’m sorry I had to go?” You ask hopefully, not at all in the mood to show your face again at your corner of the large gathering.

They nod, wishing you a good evening, and telling you to be safe. To which you nod back, reassuring them that you would be fine and that you would see them soon. 

Ducking your head as you turn around toward the door out of Molly’s, offering Herrmann a half-hearted smile as he watches you leave, feeling sad that he would know your plan had gone awry.

Then, you were gone.

-

Unbeknownst to you, Will had not been pleased when he discovered your absence through Casey and Severide. It wasn't annoyance, but rather concern.

He got a sinking feeling when he found out you’d gone home, in the back of his mind he started to worry that you’d seen the kiss between him and Nina. On paper, he had no reason to fear that possibility, and yet it nagged at him.

You'd never expressed an interest in Will, and he had been desperate to not be too forward with you, he never wanted to give you the impression that you were a rebound or a distraction after Natalie.

If pressed, he would admit that his thoughts on being with Nina weren’t the soundest or most logical, yet he didn’t know what else to do. With Nina there was something to the dynamic that never got too deep, it never scared Will as it did when he thought about having something with you. 

He knows it’s not fair to you or Nina to think that way, yet here he was. There was too much to lose by asking to date you, your friendship was cherished by him and it had to be protected.

Will messages later that night, asking if everything was okay. He wasn’t sure if you would answer at all, but the “Yeah, all good. Just forget I had something I needed to do. See you Monday!” went some way to quiet his worry.

Even if the seeds of doubt continued to grow.

-

[5 Months Later]

It had been an extra layer of sucky when you discovered Will was not only dating Nina but also moving in with her. Ever since that night at Molly’s, you had done your resolute best to act normal, to not freeze Will out or feel resentful.

He had asked a few times if something was wrong or if something had happened, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth - what point would there be to hearing him tell you he wasn’t interested in you like that? It was easier to play it as cool as you could, being happy for Will like a good friend should. 

Being invited to the housewarming was a real test of your resolve, however.

-

It was gone 7am at Med, the 7:30 shift was due to start rolling in at any moment, and you were wrapping up your patient notes from the night before.

Maggie was hovering beside you, she had come to investigate whether you were going to the Halstead-Shore housewarming, to which you’d pulled a face and she understood.

“Did you ever ask him if it was something more?” Maggie asks cautiously, trying to help you not feel so utterly rejected by someone who apparently didn’t even know they were rejecting you.

“No…I didn’t…but, oh Maggie, I’m still in shock at how I’ve got this so wrong.”

“Honey, you’re not an idiot, there must have been something there, alright? That man is like a brother to me, and I more than know his capability to charm. I've been trying to steer him right for years, but his dating game and communication skills aren’t always to the standard of his doctoring finesse.” Maggie smiles sympathetically, wrapping an arm around you with a small squeeze.

The charge nurse had offered to intervene a few times, but you didn't think it was fair to drop that on Will just because you didn't want someone else to have him.

You sigh, resting your head on her shoulder. Watching discreetly from behind the pillar at the nurses' station, Will passes Nina her coffee and kisses her cheek, no doubt promising to share lunch with her later.

You resist the juvenile urge to make a gagging sound and gesture with your fingers in your mouth.

Then, Will turns to move in the direction of the nurses’ station to get to the on-call room. You hastily disperse from Maggie’s comforting embrace and busy yourself with a computer, pulling up your last patient’s records, scrutinising them as if your life depended on it.

Breath held, eyes downcast, you dare not look as you feel Will’s approach, his fiery copper hair visible from the corner of your eye.

You type some sporadic notes at the bottom of your patient’s file, making a mental note to yourself that under no circumstances would you save the incoherent spiel once you were done avoiding the redhead.

Yet, there’s no such passing of the moment, Will makes a direct approach to you, a smile on his face as he watches you “concentrate.” His palm is warm on your back as he greets you, a cheerful tone to salt your wounds, “Good mornin’, Y/N.” 

There’s a battle within to avoid sighing too loudly, you search for composure as you lift your head with a painted smile. “Morning, Will.”

“You’re here early?” Will queries, apparently convinced by your performance. 

“Late, actually. I got called in to cover a shift, now my cover is a no-show, so now I’m taking my one.” Will frowns with a nod, knowing what was coming next.

He hadn’t been totally oblivious to the change in your mood lately, he just wished you’d get mad or say something, the silence was worse.

The more time passed, the more the sense of a moment missed weighed on him. He wished he could have put aside his fear and come right out and said “I love you!” all those months ago, but then after that night at Molly’s things had taken an altogether different turn.

With Dr Shore it was different, she had been a friend and a colleague too, but if Will was being honest, he knew it didn't ground him or scare him like his relationship with you did.

Between him and Nina, they understood the casual and mutually beneficial nature of being together, of sharing an apartment, and they had both agreed that they would take it as easy as possible.

You grimace, looking for absolution. “I’m really sorry, Will, I won’t be able to make it for your housewarming, I’m gonna need some shut-eye once this day is over.”

It’s the best excuse to not go to your nice new place and watch you be domestic and loved up with someone who isn’t me. You think to yourself, smiling apologetically. 

“It’s alright, Y/N, it can’t be helped, we’ll miss you though.” He smiles too, a sadness settles in his eyes and you do feel a slight pang of guilt. It was for the best though, you decided.

He could spend the evening with his girlfriend and enjoy himself, and you could be spared from that. Your eyes struggle to steel themselves into an expression of unbothered and normal, Will catches a flash of it.

He squeezes your shoulder, trying to ignore the mantra of his own internal voice, the one that told him he had a mistake with you and, consequently, a mistake with Nina.

He couldn’t afford to think that now, not even if he wanted to.

“I better, you know…” He gestures to the on-call room, needing to put his stuff away and change into scrubs.

“Of course, yeah, you go ahead. See you in a bit.” You shoo him away, watching with a gnawing sensation in your gut. You couldn’t avoid this forever, you would have to face it head-on at some point.

-

However, as cruel fate would have it, as it often does, your replacement chose that moment to announce themselves. Dr Kumari had resolved their engine troubles with the help of a passerby, so here they were to relieve you of your double shift. 

You had tried to somehow find a way to prevent Will from finding out, but that was impossible as soon as Dr Kumari had made themselves known and he had seen you with your coat and bag. 

“Oh sweet, that’s great. Get some rest and we’ll see you later?” Will asks, hopefulness renewed. Maggie glances at you from across the nurses’ station, that sympathetic look was back as she offered an encouraging thumbs up.

You wanted so badly to find another way of squirming out of the obligation, but you weren’t looking to be an utter asshole to Will, he clearly valued your presence at this housewarming and, after all, you were still friends. 

“Yeah, for sure! See you later, 7pm right?” You check, ignoring the cold thrum of anxiety that had started to tingle in your veins. 

“Yep, 7pm, let me know if you get stuck finding us, our street is a little weird.” Will smiled, Cinderella could go to the ball and Will was elated to hear it. 

You nod in acknowledgement of what he was saying, saying one more goodbye before turning towards the exit, letting yourself walk a considerable way out of Will’s eye line before exhaling defeatedly.

Now you’d need to buy some wine or a plant.

-

Despite your reluctance to even go to the housewarming, you had meandered into an ‘oddities and thrift’ store on your way home and found some gifts for Will and Nina. The store’s name ‘The Past and The Curious: Chicago Thrift’ had totally tickled you.

After being in danger of spending a whole shift’s worth of time in the three-storey building full of trinkets and history, you had stumbled across a few items that you thought would be cool to give them. 

One was an old 50s dartboard that had both a traditional format on one side and a baseball format on the other; you knew that Will enjoyed a game of darts, and you were pretty sure you’d seen Nina outdoing a fair few colleagues at the bar on several occasions.

As an extra, you had found a vintage Cubs pennant you thought would make for good decor.  Satisfied with your treasures you settle up with the elderly woman who sat at a counter that looked like something out of the Wild West.

-

Letting yourself into your apartment, you’re grateful to take off your layers of cold-weather clothing, placing your items on the kitchen table where you could arrange them in a gift bag later. For now, you are ready to eat, nap and then take a shower. 

However, once you’d had some soup and put on your comfy clothes, the initial excitement over your purchases started to fade. As you roll over in bed, eyeing the red numbers displaying 11am, you feel the knots in your stomach ache in the background.

Exhaling frustratedly you shift again under the covers, desperate to find slumber in the plumpness of your pillows. 

-

It’s Jay that answers the door at Will’s new apartment, apparently, he had taken on the role of security but also cloakroom clerk. Offering to hang up your jacket, take your gift bag and find you a drink.

“How’s it going, Y/N?” Jay asks casually. 

With a swallow of the urge to spill your lovesickness to him, you smile, “All good, thanks, Jay. How about you?”

Jay lets out a small laugh, one that seems full of knowledge and scepticism with regard to your answer. “I’m good, Y/N, business as usual for me.” Jay doesn’t say anything else, but he’s looking at you differently, speaking without saying a damn thing. 

You sometimes hated that Halstead smugness, it was clearly a genetic trait both boys shared. You were now sure he knew something about this whole debacle, but you didn’t know what.

You follow Jay through the small hallway into the front room where familiar faces are already gathered in different pockets of conversation. You spot Maggie and Sharon on the couches, with Will and Nina hovering nearby, and you spot Connor in the process of joining their group.

Jay sidles up to you with an extra beer in hand, seemingly getting it from thin air as he nods in Will’s direction.

The detective takes a sip of his own drink, again with that glint in his eye that makes you want to push him into the obnoxiously large cactus in the corner of the room. “Are you gonna say hey, or are we keeping a safe distance for the evening?” 

You glance at Jay, a glare flashes across your features, settling into a frown and a half smile. You could tell Jay, for all his teasing, was actually looking out for you. He must definitely know how you feel about his brother.

A sigh escapes you, taking a swig of your beer. “Who told you, and why?” You ask, slightly disappointed that Maggie might have spilt to Jay of all people.

Jay chuckles softly, patting your shoulder. “Y/N, I got eyes. I see how you look at my pain in the ass, romantically challenged, brother.”

You’re about to say something when Jay continues, his face a little more sympathetic, maybe even sad, as he speaks. “And I saw you that night when they started canoodling, you looked pretty damn crushed. I had had my suspicions before then, but that night I knew. I wanted so badly to smack that idiot upside the head, but I didn’t know how you wanted to play it out. So I left it, and I want to apologise for not saying anything, but I figured you’d do what you wanted to do.” Jay shrugs, a grimace as he waits for your reaction, taking another swig to distract from the brief silence between you.

“Jay…” You start, your heart racing, and you half expect yourself to start crying but your brain protects you in front of all the people that could spot you break down. Surprising yourself as you remain composed. 

“First and foremost, I’m not upset with you, why would I be? You didn’t know what I was thinking, and I had no idea you even knew as much as you do… I figured I’d let it be, who am I to stop him from doing what he wants? He seems happy, and we were long friends before we could be anything else, I don’t want to lose that.”

He nods, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a comforting squeeze. 

Jay is ready to continue, “Listen, I know he’s off with Nina, but you should know-” But Will’s voice bursts your private bubble and you almost jump out of your skin. 

“Jay, you can’t use her as a shield from socialising with everyone.” Will approaches with a big smile, clearly glad to see you’d not abandoned ship at the last moment. 

“Sorry, brother, just didn’t want you to bore her to death with the speech about where you got that cactus and the guy you got it from.” Jay grins, and Will rolls his eyes, steering you away from his brother towards Nina, Sharon and April.

You half-heartedly wave ‘bye’ to Jay, feeling the uptick in your nerves as Will’s hand stays on your back. “Glad you made it, Y/N, thanks for coming.” Your neck tingles with the softness in Will’s tone. 

“Of course, Will, you got it.” You smile, internally cringing at your chipper tone. Your stomach flip flops at the slight brush of Will’s thumb on your back as he lets go, arriving at a stop next to Nina as you greet everyone.

-

The evening continues without incident, you find yourself enjoying it more than you thought you would. Nina turns out to be a good cook, having made a good proportion of the nibbles and snacks on offer from scratch. You even manage to have a few conversations with her, without feeling like you were suffocating under the secret you kept to your chest.

-

Will had kept a subtle eye on you throughout too, you had caught him a few times looking in your direction but for the most part, you weren’t tuned in to the way he worried about whether you were having a good time or not. 

He also hadn’t missed the way you and Jay were talking earlier, he was itching to know what you were discussing but he didn’t want to intrude - the thought crossed his mind to pry it from Jay at a later date, which wouldn’t be easy.

Will was happy to have his friends around, and he really did think Nina was a great person, yet he couldn’t shake the gnawing wrongness in his stomach - the best way he could describe the sensation was “cold feet”. He sighs, refilling the ice box in the kitchen as he idly listens to the hubbub and music in the lounge, tuning in to the call of his brother requesting he hurries up in the kitchen 

-

You’re sitting on a dining chair near the couch, next to Maggie as she squeezes you. You nod to reassure her that you were doing good, smiling as she keeps a comforting hold on your arm.

Nina and Jay stand at the front of the gathering, a natural aisle down the middle had formed to allow Will back into the room and to the ‘centre stage’. 

Will sets down the ice bucket back on the refreshments table and faces his friends who are still chattering to each other, waiting for the speech to be made, a blush on his cheeks as Nina clanks her glass.

Will catches your eye for just a split second, you take a swig of your second drink of the night, a smile and a small silent cheers gesture to him before you look away and focus on something else.

Nina smiles brightly at the hush as she begins to speak, “Hey everybody. Um, thank you so much for coming. Celebrating with the people who know me and Will best, it means a lot…”

That was strike one for you, your stomach tensed in readiness for what else Nina was going to say.

“...But there is something that most of you may not know about Will. He’s still got a lot of Med School debt, but he paid part of his way through it by singing at Irish weddings.” 

There’s a gasp in the crowd, a titter of excitement as Jay picks up Will’s guitar. You and Maggie look at each other, and Maggie is grinning, eyebrows raised in excitement. Neither of you knew you were getting food and a show tonight. 

“What?” You hear Will exclaim, and you snorted as you took another swig of your drink. This was going to be good.

Ah, that was right. He’d left his guitar out earlier, forgetting to put it back in the case and stow it away. 

He was going to kill Jay.

Will half-heartedly protests, but Jay thrusts the instrument at his brother with that same shit-eating grin you’d seen many a time before, along with a quip about needing to pay rent.

Sharon even pipes up, and it’s sweet to see Will almost immediately agree. Like a mother asking her son to play, he wasn’t going to be the one to decline now. Only further encouraged by Nina and the cheer of the group in front of him, including you, he takes the guitar in his hands.

The hush from before settles around the room, listening intently as Will begins to sing and play the strings beneath his fingers.

“Baby

It's been a long day, baby

Things ain't been going my way

You know I need you here

To ease my mind

All the time”

At first, you’re stifling your giggles of excitement, because Will had a great voice that you’d never heard before. Not only that, but you knew Will would totally smack Jay upside the head for making him play in front of everyone, and it tickled you to no end.

“And baby

The way you move me, it's crazy

It's like you see right through me

And make it easier

You please me, you don't even have to try”

However, with that excitement came the deepest urge to cry. An urge that you smothered by drinking your beer and squeezing the napkin you had in your other hand in a vice grip. Maggie’s grip on you had tightened too.

Jay was watching his brother, and that glint of pride in his eyes wasn’t hard to miss, despite Jay’s hesitation on the whole moving-in situation, he didn’t want to butt in on Will’s life, Will seemed to be happy. 

You watched the man you admired and loved play with ease, his voice was somehow soothing and shattering as you watched Nina look at him the way you do when he isn’t paying attention.

A tidal wave of emotions that you’d managed to suppress since that night at Molly’s came crashing over you with each word of the song, feeling your heart stutter wildly as Will’s eyes focus briefly on yours.

You can’t look away, not even if you wanted to, the tears that you had so doggedly fought against now spilt silently over and down your cheeks. Quickly wiping them away lest somebody, that wasn’t Maggie or Will, notice.

“Oh, because

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me”

Will’s eyes glisten too, his heart thundering in his eyes as he plays on autopilot for the rest of the song. In the surreal moment of everyone else’s joy, the doting look on Nina’s face, he is crushed to see the look of grief on yours.

Listening to his head and his heart, louder and clearer than he had in all those times of fear and doubt, Will knows now without question he’s made a mistake. A mistake that will certainly hurt Nina going forward, but there’s also a mistake that’s already hurt you. 

The latter is something that Will can’t live with.

-

It feels like an eternity as you try to calmly get up from your seat next to Maggie, hushed murmurs between the both of you as you quickly and quietly tell her that you need to get going. She can see the anguish on your face enough to not try and convince you to stay, offering a sad smile and an encouraging squeeze as she promises to text later.

You dare not glance back at Will, only offering a polite smile and nod to Jay as you squeeze past him between the clusters of people who had resumed their chattering and merriment. He doesn’t push now, the teasing at the start of this evening now makes him feel somewhat dickish as he sees the pain in your face.

Unbeknownst to you, Will can’t tear his eyes away from watching you leave, the prickly heat of worry and dread spreads across his skin. The desire to go after you was clear on his features, lost in his own moment of realisation, too caught up in the tumbling down of his own walls to realise Nina was witness to it as well. 

She had never been clueless about your connection to her boyfriend, but to your credit, you had never overstepped or even tried to enforce your place in his life. However, now, as she watches the silent revelation play out in front of her, it’s hard to ignore the sourness in her throat. Her new chapter of life had been closed as quickly as it had started.

-

After the last of the guests say their goodbyes, a heavy silence begins to fill the air of the apartment, replacing the lights and the laughter with a stillness that sits like dark, weighted, rain clouds that threaten a downpour. 

Will puts almost entirely too much focus on clearing away scraps of food, crumpled napkins and used plastic champagne flutes for there not to be something so obviously wrong. 

Nina glances at him from time to time, the energy coursing through her body going into putting the furniture back with haste. She can feel her hurt and anger building, but there’s also a resignation, she just wishes Will had opened his mouth sooner.

Eventually, she can’t take it, straightening up the dining table, she can’t help thinking about the fact that it’s a huge mercy that their landlord had included a 7-day grace period in their rental agreement.

“Are you gonna say something? Or do I have to do that for you too, even at the very end?” Her first shot is fired into the thick air, which makes Will’s shoulders tense. A slow lift of his head from the fascinating sight of the garbage bag in his hands to the woman he was about to let down.

“Nina, I-” The look on Will’s face already has her jaw clenching, he was about to try and soften the situation somehow, something she didn’t want or need. She only needed the truth.

“Will, I suggest you think very clearly about what comes out of your mouth next. Just be clear and be honest with me.” 

Will pressed his lips together, recalculating his sentence now that he could see this was really happening, it was now or never to face up to the reality of his feelings. 

“Nina? I haven’t been fair to you. You deserve someone as committed to you as you are to him, and I haven’t been that person.”

Nina inhales a sharp breath, hearing it aloud stings, but at least it’s the truth. “It’s always been Y/N, hasn’t it?” 

Will blinks, swallowing, staring his transgressions in the face.

“You messed me around. You acted as if I could be the only person you’d want this future with, but all along you knew the truth. You knew deep down that Y/N was who you really wanted, and you let us go through all of this - in front of our friends too.” Nina’s rage is the quiet kind, the kind that doesn’t need screaming or erratic behaviour to convey the gravity of its source.

“I didn’t know she had feelings for me, not for sure, not until tonight… I-... I’m sorry, Nina. I have feelings for her, and I shouldn’t have ignored them. I should have been honest from the start, from that kiss at Molly’s. I shouldn’t have let myself pretend.” 

“Oh well, I’m so glad you’ve seen the light tonight, no more pretending, huh? Wow.” 

Will’s eyes shuttered closed for a second, there was no getting around the mess he’d made for Nina and for you. 

“Nina, I care about what happens to you, I-”

Nina held her hand up, shaking her head. She didn’t need to hear any more about how much Will loved you or how sorry he was that he still wasn’t going to pick her. “Please just go, Will. Get what you need tonight, we can arrange our stuff at some point. I just need you to go, please. Now.”

Will nods, picking up his phone from the coffee table as he silently heads to the bedroom to pack some things. He would be reacquainting himself with Jay’s couch tonight.

-

You were more than thankful that the following day was a day off for you. You could very well put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the job, but it was a relief to be allowed to cry in your apartment under a duvet and mindlessly watch episode after episode of Mythbusters.

Even though your eyes were staring at the laptop screen, your mind couldn’t be further from focusing on what was in front of you. You couldn’t stop replaying over and over the way Will had really seen you last night, he knew the truth now and you would have to live with that reality - whatever that might mean for your friendship.

So much was your melancholic reverie that the texts you’d received from not only Maggie but Jay and Will had all gone unnoticed and unread. Each passing hour was just as lovesick as the one before it until you felt like you were climbing the walls. 

At around 2pm you decide to take a shower, put on some real clothes, open the curtains and take yourself out for a walk to get some food and some sunshine on your skin.

You’re just checking the lock on your front door when noise from further down the corridor grabs your attention, you figured that when you turned it would be one of your neighbours going back to their apartment. However, when you register the figure in front of you, you almost wish you could unlock the door and hustle back inside without being spotted.

Will was approaching you, a look of concern on his face that you’d rarely ever seen unless there was a serious emergency in the ED. As he gets closer his exhaustion is apparent, with hair that was unkempt and redness in his eyes that spoke of little to no sleep.

You were confused, to say the least, last night should have been a great night for him and he should have gone to bed with Nina to forget all about you.

As you stand frozen on the spot, pondering what could have possibly happened to have Will so stressed out, you almost jump when Will comes to a stop in front of you. He shifts from one foot to the other, hands deep in his jean pockets to stop them from fidgeting or rubbing nervously at his neck.

“Hi.” He murmurs, his voice gruff from a dry throat. 

“Hi.” You utter, voice tight. It now occurs to you that your face probably doesn’t look too much better, even the shower wouldn’t have magically erased the bags from tossing and turning, and the redness from crying.

“What are you doing here?” You ask curiously, trying not to sound too blunt or rude. 

“Can we talk?” He asks carefully, waiting for you to be upset with him as Nina had been.

You swallow, stomach flip-flopping with the gurgles of hunger to accompany it. 

“Sure…I, uh, I was going to take a walk and get lunch. Wanna come?” 

Will nods, taking a breath. “Sounds good.”

-

It’s not even 5 minutes into your walk until the silence between you almost becomes unbearable. The idea of breaking that silence seems to occur to you both at the same time.

“Will, I-”

“I broke up with Nina.” 

You stare at each other as the words sit in your brain, coming to a halt tucked to the side of the sidewalk.

“You broke up with Nina? The Nina who you’re sharing a new home with?” You don’t mean for the sentence to be so blunt, but you’re stunned at this turn of events.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Will gives a pained and sheepish smile. 

You’re frozen for a moment, trying to figure out if it was because of you without seeming too self-absorbed. Will seems to pick up on your thoughts, however, pacing slightly in front of you and as the words tumble past his lips, hands gesturing wildly as he tries to get his feelings across. 

“And it is because I care about you, Y/N. I haven’t acted right at all, and I don’t expect you to suddenly feel ready for anything. Hell, I don’t even expect you to want to be friends anymore, but I couldn’t lie to myself, and I couldn’t pretend like losing you wouldn’t be the biggest regret of my life. I shouldn’t have hurt you or Nina the way that I did, and I’m truly, deeply, sorry… I love you, Y/N.”

It’s surreal to think that this is happening in the middle of the street, whilst the world bustles around you. You look into the wild, soft, brown eyes of Will Halstead and you’re met with the truth now. You can see it there, the same sense of fear, grief and hope that had burned so strongly last night as he played the guitar and watched you cry.

You expected to fling yourself into his arms and kiss him senseless, but in reality, you nestle in close to wrap your arms tightly around him, your head tucked into his chest as you sniffle.

The warmth of his hand cradling the back of you makes you feel safe, his lips gentle as they press to the top of your head. A strong hold on your waist as you sniff rather pitifully, full of relief and shock, speaking quietly as though any louder would shatter some sort of illusion, “Please, please don’t change your mind.” 

Will’s laughter rumbles through his chest, planting more kisses on your face as you look at him, laughter pulled from you too as you see your own joy mirrored on him.

“That was a one-time thing, sweetheart. I won’t be changing anything for as long as you want me to be here.” 

-

Fin.

tags: @resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[lcvesjj]

Reunited - Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Pairing : Erin Lindsay x Fem!Reader

Summary : You and Erin meet in highschool and soon become best friends. Sadly you have to move to New York, but years later when you get an offer to join Chicago’s Intelligence unit the two of you are reunited and become more than friends. 

Warnings : mentions of drinking, a little bit of angst, swearing, implied bad home life, mistakes I missed

A/n : I loved writing this :) This starts a little bit angsty but it ends all fluffy and sweet. Thank you for this amazing request @allivzs

Erin was very surprised when one day in maths class you had asked the teacher if you could sit down next to her. Even the teacher was a little bit shocked. You were known as one of the nicest and kindest people in the whole school. 

The thing that had surprised Erin the most was that while you were usually sitting with your small group of friends, you had chosen to sit down next to her. She was known amongst the teachers and some students as the trouble maker with a troubled home life. While you were a good student with amazing grades and a huge sweetheart since you always tried your best to help everyone in any way possible. 

Soon class started and you got busy with the work your teacher had assigned while he graded some tests from a different class. Erin just stared at her notebook not knowing what to do, she didn’t understand maths and most other subjects since she barely had any time to study with everything going on at home and with Bunny.

“Do you need any help with that question?” You asked gently, looking over to her. “Why are you being so nice to me?” Erin asked, avoiding your question. 

“Well I think we all need a little kindness sometimes.” You smiled at her. “I can explain the problem to you if you want me too. I’m not the best at explaining it exactly but I could try and explain it to the best of my abilities.” You added, while playing with your necklace. “Sure I guess.” Erin looked over to you. 

Maths class flew by fast since you spend most of it talking with Erin while also gently trying to explain the problem to her. After the bell rang you started gathering your stuff and so did Erin. Since it was lunchtime Erin started to head towards the bathroom since she hated sitting in the cafeteria and eating with all of the other kids. 

You caught up with her and gently grabbed her hand and softly asked if she maybe wanted to eat lunch together outside.

“Are you sure you want to eat lunch with me? I don’t want you to pity me.” She replied looking you into your eyes. 

“Of course I want to Erin! You are like the coolest person in this whole school.” Erin raised her eyebrows at your statement. 

“I mean you are always able to stand up for yourself and you don’t take anyones bullsh*t and in my opinion that is pretty awesome. Since not everyone has the courage to do that. If you don’t want to eat lunch together, I’ll just leave you alone.” You smiled softly. 

“Hey I never said I didn’t want to eat lunch together Y/n. I think you're pretty awesome but I’m just a little shocked that someone actually wants to eat with me.” Erin replied, looking down at her shoes. 

“Now c’mon let's get to the cafeteria before all the good food is gone.” She added laughing while putting out her hand for you to hold. 

For once Erin knew she had someone she could trust. 

Soon you and Erin were always sitting together and eating lunch together. As more days passed the two of you got closer and closer. You started inviting Erin to do stuff together to just meet up and talk while walking around together. You helped her a lot when she had problems at home with Bunny or other things. One day it got so bad that she called you for help since Bunny was causing problems and she didn’t know what to do. You had sat by her side every time she was having trouble at home or simply a bad day. No matter the time or day, you were always by her side. 

A few months later Erin met Hank Voight. That’s when her life started changing, she lost contact with Teddy and Bunny and got clean and stopped drinking and partying.

But she was terrified about losing you. You were her first real friend, who had also helped her a lot. Erin also once broke down to Camille that she didn’t want to move schools like Hank had suggested. She still wanted to be able to see you everyday and hang out after school. 

Somehow Voight agreed to let her stay in that school under the rule that he could meet the famous girl - Y/n Y/l/n who Erin talked about a lot. 

After meeting you Hank knew he made a good decision by letting her stay in that school. You were very polite and nice as always, when you came over for dinner one friday. Even though you were shaking and terrified inside since you heard about how strict Hank could be from Erin. You got along with all of them very well. 

Hank took an even bigger liking to you, after you mentioned that when you grew up you wanted to join the police academy and become a detective. After dinner was over you started gathering up your stuff and after saying goodbye and promising to see Erin in school on Monday you left. 

“You can tell Y/n that she can come over for dinner next Friday if she wants too.” Hank said after locking the door behind you. 

“Thank you! She is pretty awesome.” Erin replied with a huge grin.

Sometime later you ran up the stairs leading towards the house of the Voight’s. You didn’t want to leave Chicago but your parents were insisting that you should move since your dad got a new job there and it would be hard to keep living here in Chicago. 

But their decision was final, you had no choice but to pack up everything you owned and move to New York. Saying goodbye to Erin and the Voight’s was really hard. Before you left Erin had promised to keep in touch with you and write you letters. 

Many years later you still thought about Erin a lot. Even though you were now all grown up and now you were a detective with the SVU in New York you still thought about the brown haired girl who had stolen your heart from a very young age. 

Suddenly one day you got a call from Hank asking if you wanted to come back to Chicago and join his unit. And after talking with your captain you agreed to move back to Chicago and join Hank’s unit. 

You couldn’t believe it but you were back in Chicago after many years. You moved into your old home since after talking with your parents they insisted on giving you the old home you used to live in. 

For your first day Hank promised he would come pick you up and show you around the district. Sitting in his car you looked through the windows in amazement. So much has changed around Chicago. 

“So are you ready for your first day with a new unit Y/n?” He asked while stopping at the red light. 

“Yes I think I am. I’m really excited to meet everyone. How is Erin doing?” You asked curiously. 

“She’s doing good. Erin still talks about you a lot, she missed you a lot kiddo. She has no idea that you are back in Chicago, I just told the unit that there will be someone new joining us. Al has probably already figured out who is joining.” He laughed. 

After getting your new badge and everything sorted, you and Hank started walking up to the stairs towards the bullpen. 

“Guys this is Detective Y/n Y/l/n. She’s transferred from SVU in New York and from now on she will be working with us. Antonio, this is your new partner. You have already met Al, so I don’t have to introduce him. But these are Detectives Jay Halstead, Antonio Dawson and Officer Burgess, Atwater and Roman. And Detective Lindsay is in the breakroom. ” Hank said, looking over at the unit. Erin walked in and asked in a confused tone. “Wait Y/n/n? What are you doing here” 

“Well I transferred from SVU and it’s my first day here.” You smiled at her softly.

Voight just smiled at you both heading towards his office. Erin quickly walked towards you to wrap you into a warm hug. “I missed you so much.” She said, pulling you in tighter.

“I missed you more Erin.” You smiled at her gently pulling away. 

“So you two know each other?” Jay asked, looking over at the both of you. 

“Yea we do. We met a long time ago back in highschool.” Erin replied still not breaking eye contact with you. “It’s nice to have you back.” She added. 

The day flew by fast since luckily you didn’t have a case, so you had plenty of time to get to know your new coworkers. 

“Y/n do you want to join us at Molly’s? It’s a local bar owned by firefighters where we often hang out after a long day.” Jay asked, getting up and putting on his coat. 

“I would love it too, where is this bar?” You replied while also getting up from behind your desk.

After Jay gave you the address to the bar you gathered your things and started walking down the stairs where you heard someone shout. 

“Y/n/n can you please wait for me? I wanted to talk to you.” Erin asked. You just nodded in response standing on the stairs waiting for her to catch up to you. 

“So how are you liking this unit Y/n/n?” She asked curiously. 

“Everyone is really nice and I really look forward to working with you.” You smiled at her. 

She looked really pretty with her red cheeks and slightly messy hair. You felt as if no time had passed since you sat down next to her and maths class. Erin was still as pretty as the day when you first saw her at school. You had been in love with her for many years and you still were. Returning to Chicago made your feelings grow even stronger. And as much as you loved New York it wasn’t the same without her by your side. You really missed this. You missed Erin a lot in the time you had been apart. 

A while later you were both sitting next to each other at Molly’s drinking some beer. 

“So how have you been Erin?” You asked awkwardly while playing with your watch. 

“I’m doing good to be honest. I finally talked to Teddy after years and we are planning on meeting up soon.” She replied looking at you with a big smile.

“Oh that’s awesome! I’m really happy for you Erin. I missed you so much.” You smiled at her.

“I missed you so much Y/n/n. So how was New York?” 

“If I’m being honest it was pretty boring without you. I really missed being able to hang out with you.” You smiled gently at her. 

Erin laughed at your response, she missed this. 

“Do you maybe want to get out of here and go somewhere?” She asked, drinking the rest of her drink. 

“I would love to. Where do you want to go?” 

“Do you want to maybe go to that park we used to go to when we were younger?” Erin said slowly getting up from her seat. 

“Sounds good to me.” You replied.

After paying the bill for your drinks, you and Erin started walking towards her car. Since she was the one who drove you to Molly’s. 

The park was really peaceful and quiet, and you felt really relaxed. Looking up you could see the stars in between the trees. This felt surreal to you. You never thought you would be back in Chicago with Erin and working for the intelligence unit. 

“Y/n can I say something? Just please promise you won’t hate me for this.” Erin said slowly, looking over to you. 

“I could never hate you Erin. No matter what, you’re my best friend and nothing or no one will change that.” You replied, grabbing her hand gently while rubbing small shapes into the back of her hand. Erin took a deep breath and said.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for ages but then you moved and other stuff happened... But I’m in love with you. I wanted to tell you earlier but I never had the courage to do so, since I’m terrified of losing you. I understand if you don’t feel the same but I just wanted to say it. Since I’ve been feeling like this for years.” Erin said, looking over to you with fear in her eyes. She was so scared you would hate her for this. She didn’t want to ruin your friendship or lose you. 

“Erin, I feel the same. I’ve been in love with you for years. And I just thought you would never be interested in me so I never said it.” You replied softly looking over at her to see how relieved she looked. 

“Can I kiss you?” She asked, looking at you in awe. You nodded and gently pulled her into a kiss. 

“Do you want to go on a date with me Erin?” You said pulling away slightly. 

“I would love to go on a date with you. Thank you for being so amazing and sweet to me, I really appreciate it especially because of what was going on at home.” 

You smiled at her squeezing her hand softly. 

“Well we all need a little kindness sometimes. And I’m so glad I met you Erin. Highschool wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Erin pulled you in for another kiss, leaning your foreheads together and placing a gentle kiss on your lips. Leaning your head on her shoulder you smiled widely.

You were finally home.

[crownedinmarigolds]

Context: This is from a VTM RP Server I was on, Noa was in play, but her story was much different! Here she was a ghoul at first in Chicago under the Hecata Seneschal (IDK I didn't make the hierarchy) and then turned during game. She is from the near extinct Hidalgo branch of the Giovanni that had been killed during a Sabbat raid while she was in a foreign exchange program for school. I revealed slowly throughout the game that Joaquin her elder brother was actually revealed to have "survived" and the Family suspected he was the cause of the slaughter. Which he was. Noa was tasked with killing him, which she did, but because she believed it was the kindest option for him. The Family would've torn his soul apart. If she killed him, she could then bind his spirit to her, and then eventually give him a body when she became a powerful enough necromancer. Fast forward back to Chicago, Julian is Noa's "ghoul" that she has enthralled through the Sanctifying Kiss (essentially you can smooch and blood bond without full ghouling) that is used as Joaquin's puppet conduit! It was cross-spat so I had Joaquin on Wraith Arcanoi... it was pretty unfair all things considered. Julian of course is blood-bond in love with Noa and she's just like Hmm hmm hmm~. She lives in a VERY haunted mansion with her sire and coterie, and in this little tidbit, she is wandering around after a server event Halloween party where a Tremere Cam-hater mass-dominates the room and compelled whoever they could to try and kill the Lasombra Prince. It was wacky! (Noa passed the check, but Joaquin/Julian did not)

Noa and Julian had arrived home late in the evening after the Halloween party, the hour almost three in the morning. She had excused herself to change out of her costume in her room and to bathe alone, but now she simply felt restless after being clean and changed. Of course Kindred didn’t get tired or wired in quite the normal way kine do, but the feeling of “I should be doing something else” is very strong within her now. This man antagonizing the Prince into making a major Masquerade breach, these wraiths terrorizing random citizens with apparent no regard for the hierarchy… these are strange nights indeed. So, to pass the time until torpor takes her, she wanders the mansion like the ghosts she shares it with, listening quietly to their whispers and catching their small, intentional brushes against skinland objects. Curtains billowing with no wind, books turning with no reader. Reminding her they were here, though making no full effort to speak to her. Eventually half an hour passes and she hears the hard footsteps of another in a hallway closeby. The sound of a large door creaking… who else is here and awake at this hour? Ken perhaps? She would love to speak with him actually regarding what the hell even happened back there. She follows the sound and sees the door that had been opened leading down to the cellar, the frame clearly labeled with some historical plaque discussing the various wines held below. It also led to the bowels of this home if you knew where to look. Surely Ken… she follows after fast, closing the door behind her.

As she reaches the bottom of the stairwell, she sees the wine room for the first time since her arrival here. The ceiling is made of rock and the place is filled with rows upon rows of gorgeous glass bottles with varying shades of burgundy and red. She hears someone shifting further down, and she follows, her bare feet making soft noises against the stone. As she looks, she finally comes across her fellow night owl, but is slightly disappointed at who she sees. Julian. She observes him for a moment. He had been so exhausted nearly all of the way home, napping in the car despite the evening’s strange events. Now he is here, eyeing old wine from a date she can’t read from where she stands. “Julian, what are you doing up?” He nearly drops the bottle he’s holding on the stone tile, thankfully scrambling in time to catch it. He looks over to her like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and he goes to her as if to beg for forgiveness. In Spanish, he exhales a frightened breath. “My God you scared the hell out of me.” His hand touches her shoulder and he gives it a soft rub, as if to calm himself down. She watches him still, not expecting anything foul afoot but still curious. “I couldn’t get back to sleep. I feel like…” His voice trails off a moment as he rubs his tired eyes. “There is so much to think about. You said you were dead, I have met with more dead… and then I go to a party where there are even more but I don’t know who is who. And my mind…” He looks at the bottle and frowns as he considers it, then back to Noa. “I-Is Joaquin here?” She shakes her head, now suddenly very aware of how alone they were. Huh. “No, he is feeding below. Spending time in your body took quite the toll on his spirit.” Joaquin honestly has not done much work with his craft beyond a good hour or two of puppeteering, so an entire evening of inhabiting a body and controlling it required a lot of energy for him to use. Thankfully they live here where he can feast in abundance, but them being separate for another hour or so is a very new experience for the both of them. “Oh!” Julian smiles in relief, but quickly hides it. “I see. That’s good. That he’s able to… eat. What do ghosts eat exactly?” “Intense emotions. After all, that’s what wraiths are made up of for the most part. Come Julian, do you want to drink that?” She gestures to the bottle as she walks to the bar setup nearby. It has a sink, glasses… very interesting and fancy. “I do, but I feel like it’s more pathetic to drink my problems away alone. Could you… also join me? Or can you not?” She takes the bottle from him with a smile and takes down a glass to pour for him. He looks almost awed by such a mundane gesture. “Sorry, I can’t drink wine. I would just have to throw it up later. I can really only have blood.” She listens to the wine pour, smells the pungent odor, and hands it to him when it is filled halfway. “I could perhaps drink the blood of someone who just recently drank alcohol to get a buzz… but I don’t think I could do that to you.” “W-why not?” He asks quickly, taking the glass from her but not yet drinking. “I don’t mind if you drink from me, I’m already giving my body - you may as well have it all.” After a beat of silence, he asks, “Er, well, would it hurt?” She smirks slightly, wishing terribly to be able to bite from him. “From me? Yes, the bite would be excruciating. Like being bitten by a venomous snake. I could kill you if I drink directly from you.”

“Oh.” He grimaces.

“Yes, oh. Remember when we talked about clans a little bit? Well, just my clan suffers this curse. You could be bitten by another Kindred and experience utter ecstasy from their bite… better than any orgasm you could ever have... but not from me. It would just torture and pain, and while I have my dark interests, rubbing salt in the wound isn’t one of them.” She looks to his glass. They broke open a Lafite Rothschild 1929, he should probably drink that.

“H-ha. Well, I am already provided with plenty of ecstasy without the bite.” He half jokes, then quickly he starts to down the wine to perhaps hide his shame. There is hardly time for him to savor it before he immediately swallows it down. “I’m sorry I can’t provide more then.”

She snorts, “Listen. You do serve your intended purpose well. I suppose I would be the one apologizing to you. I simply cannot give your mortal body the bite.

Quietly he swishes his drink, lost in thought as he looks at its color.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just a headache, I feel like I’ve been living in a cloud all evening. I’m not sure drinking is a good idea.” He looks up to her, “Can you be controlled like that? By something like Joaquin, by the person who made me want to kill at the party?”

“Well, I could, but it would take something far more powerful. Quino hasn’t been trained properly in the overtaking of the supernatural, but it’s possible. Just difficult. And I have at least a fighting chance when someone like that shouts a command in such a way at me. I am able to avoid both.”

“So, this is something I just have to deal with as a mortal.” He says bitterly, going to drink again.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.”

He ponders more as he swallows. “Will you be… turning me into a Kindred one day?”

Noa blinks at the question, mind going blank. She hadn’t even thought of turning Julian before. “Turn you?”

“Yes, will you turn me into something like you one day?” His voice is quiet, but his dark eyes are watching her so intensely. She hadn’t really had the time recently to consider such a thing - a Childer far, far from her mind… but. It is certainly a thought. If she turned Julian, she doesn’t think it would be until she and Joaquin were ready.

“I might.” She says honestly after some thinking. Imagining Joaquin residing permanently in Julian’s body, getting to experience the world finally as she does. The intimate connection of biting, being bonded to each other rather than everything being one sided, equality in power, not needing sex to reassure themselves that they love each other. Just existing as otherworldly beings, secure in their positions, being powerful commanders of the dead… the thought is enough to nearly make her swoon. “Yes, I could consider that.”

His eyes go wide and he looks unsure if he likes that answer or no.

“But that isn’t for a while, none of us are ready I think. But yes, I could turn you into a Kindred, and if your will is strong enough, you can fight back over these forces that want to dominate you. You would not experience mortal pains. It would free you.” Not entirely true, but something nice for him to think of in this dark mansion.

He looks to the floor, and silently drinks again. She can guess what he’s imagining, but doesn’t ask as she takes his hand.

“Come love, it’s very late, and the sun will be rising soon.”

He nods, quickly downing the last of the wine before leaving it on the counter. Clearly used to someone cleaning up after him now. “Yes. Shall I sleep with you during the day?”

Noa leads him back to the stairwell, “No, darling, I’ve told you. Never during the day.”

“Of course, my mistress, I apologize.” He takes her hands in his own and kisses them as they make their way to his room so he may finally get some real sleep.

[carmenized-onions]

quick CK meme dump for the culture

also, babe, i've had the roughest week with work and family emergencies, please attack my inbox i miss y'all !!

starter packs were probably the most fun to make. i've been banking so many of these for so long. GEEZ. night!!

[wyn-n-tonic]

Not to get too sappy on main but for all the curveballs that life threw at me in the last year, 2023 was a really good one for me in so many aspects.

On New Year's Day last year, I probably should've been in the hospital. The only reason my doctor did not 302 me was because I didn't have anybody to watch my dog so he just called me every day and if I didn't pick up the phone, he was going to send the police to my home.

I am so grateful to everybody on here who helped me during that time last year to keep my medications while I was unemployed. I hate asking for help, I was raised being told that it was rude to do so, so I have a bit of guilt about it and I will never be able to fully say how appreciative I am. So many people on Tumblr helped me stay in a headspace where I was able to make decisions for myself and obviously, as an adult who lives a thousand miles away from family, that was very important to me.

It allowed me to stay in my home, take care of myself, and work on the next chapter of my life without feeling like a deer in a bear trap.

In the six months that I was unemployed last year, I wrote 300,000 words and so many of you have laid your eyes on so many of them, I am in awe every time I think about it. And every time I talk about it. And every time somebody else talks about it to me.

So, 2023 great things:

After six months of unemployment and thinking about my next move and trying to move away from the mental health field, I was recruited by an organization that works closely with mental health but ultimately is not mental health. I really didn't think that I would like it but now the only thing I can imagine doing that isn't this is if I were a full time writer.

I went to the Eras Tour with @amneris21 in my home state. It was incredible to meet her, I'm so grateful that she included me in her ticketing group, it was the kindest thing. I regret that we didn't take more pictures but singing Fearless in the pouring rain was an honor and I wouldn't have wanted to do it that with anybody else.

Literally a week before our concert, she texted me and said that somebody in the ticketing group dropped out and asked if I had anybody I wanted to invite along. I called my sister (found family) eighty times before she picked up and I screamed so loud that I'm pretty sure I didn't need the phone to be heard all the way in Chicago and I am so amazed and thankful that I had the opportunity to bring her along and that I was in a place where I could make that her birthday present as well.

At my Eras Tour date, I told nobody what I wanted my surprise song to be because I did not want to jinx it. After months of thinking I wouldn't be able to go, I was able to go and one of our surprise songs was my favorite song and then she announced Speak Now (Taylor's Version) and then I cried so hard I gave myself a nosebleed.

boygenius altered my brain chemistry.

I got to travel to Arizona to see @marvelousmermaid for her birthday and I would do it again and I regret that I couldn't stay longer.

I got to see my dad!

I wrote a book.

Great things upcoming in 2024:

My book comes out this year!

(If I can ever feel good enough about a draft.)

(And a name.)

(You'll be able to buy it wherever books are sold.)

(Name and cover coming soon.)

(You can follow @wynharper for sporadic updates because I forget it exists.)

[fanficforlife]

Yellowstone/Kayce Dutton Fanfic Info

This story is rated mature for language, violence, death, sexual assault, sex, etc. I will not be posting a warning at the beginning of each chapter so please take that into consideration before reading this fanfic.

Hi! I just wanted to pop in to say hi and give you a little bit of information about my Yellowstone fanfic.

1) It's a Kayce x original character fanfic.

2) There are a few more original characters that appear throughout and I wanted to show you a bit of my inspiration for the non-Yellowstone characters. I'll have them listed further down.

3) I'm trying not to stray too far from the original storyline. Except for Monica's part. She isn't in this one.

4) My story starts roughly a year or so before the series takes place.

4) If you see * between paragraphs it means the paragraph after the symbol takes place during the same day. If you see ***** it means the next paragraphs will have moved on to the next part of the story.

~

Characters:

Violet Hawkins - Kayce's love interest.

Nick Harrington - Violet's ex fiancé

James and Anna Fields - Violet's old neighbours

Jesse Miller - Kayce's high school classmate

•

~ Violet Hawkins: I fell in love with the name Violet while I was watching Chicago Fire. I also loved Chicago Fire's Violet and her love interest, whose last name was Hawkins so voila! Violet Hawkins it had to be.

~ Nick Harrington: Violet's ex

~ James and Anna Fields: kindest, sweetest neighbours you could ever have

~ Jesse Miller:  was most popular guy in school, graduated with Kayce

~

I think that's everything. As the story goes on I might add to/update this page.

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️

[transit-fag]

Rudest City Poll

[daughter-of-melpomene]

𝐑𝐄-𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆… 𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐒

❝ Throughout his long, long life, Helios had been known as many things. He had been a painter; a craftsman; a translator; and even, to the ancient Greeks, a Titan. What he had always been, though, was an Eternal - an immortal, ageless being, created with the power to create and manipulate light, so as to better assist his adopted family in protecting the universe from the wickedness of the Deviants.

Helios had had no true family on Olympia, but on his first mission to Earth, he had managed to build himself one. He had Sersi, who shared his love of humans and was the kindest being he knew; Thena, who he loved like an older sister; Gilgamesh, whose steadfast devotion he could always count on; and Phastos, clever, practical Phastos, who he had always been the closest to. But aside from from those he viewed as his family, there was Kingo, who'd he always loved best of all. Kingo, who was handsome and courageous and wickedly funny, and who always managed to make him feel like the most loved being in the universe. Kingo, who he longed desperately to kiss.

When Helios was granted his dearest wish in the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan, it felt like a dream come true. He and Kingo had finally confessed their feelings, the last of the Deviants had been defeated, and it seemed like they might be able to go back to Olympia and live happily. But that very night, Thena came down with a serious illness, Druig abandoned the group in the vain hope of saving humanity from its wars, and Helios' family, the only beings he had truly had for so many centuries, decided to split up. And, reeling with grief over seemingly losing his family, Helios made the decision that would quickly become his greatest regret - he abandoned Kingo there in the Aztec capital, lying through his teeth about not wanting to go anywhere with the man he loved so dearly.

Many centuries later, Helios is still living on Earth among the humans, trying his best to be happy and make a life for himself. He may not have Kingo anymore (may not have seen him since that fateful, painful night), but he has his own house, a human name, and a job at an art gallery in Chicago. Sure, he misses Kingo and his fellow Eternals like mad, but... well, if he's not all right, he's mostly right.

But then Ikaris and Sersi come knocking at his door, proclaiming that it's time to get the band back together. The Deviants have returned, stronger and more dangerous than before... but even more frightening than that, Helios will finally have to confront his greatest mistake, and the shining star of a man he hurt because of it.

When someone puts it like that, facing the destruction of an entire planet doesn't sound so bad anymore. ❞

General Taglist: @hiddenqveendom, @foxesandmagic, @artemisocs, @reyofluke-ocs, @endless-oc-creations, @stanshollaand, @ginnystilinski-reblogs, @luucypevensie, @ginger-grimm, @arrthurpendragon, @fakedatings, @impales, @claryxjackson, @dancingsunflowers-ocs, @eddysocs, @lucys-chen, @ocappreciationtag. (Also tagging @xoteajays.)

[anotherwvba]

Learning on the Job pt. 5

The sun started its rise over the WVBA Campus on a chilly Thursday morning. Long shadows were cast as the light bathed everything in a soft, golden glow. Gemma and Skye were already deep into what had rapidly become a morning routine. Both dressed for the cold November air, their breathe formed tiny clouds as they pounded the pavement. This was the second of their three laps around the Atlanta city block the WVBA called home.

As they ran, they talked. It was a conversation kept at a comfortable pace to match their run. They mostly discussed Gemma’s training, areas where she could improve, what she was doing well, and just general anticipation for her match in just two days. But, it wasn’t long before Gemma brought up the elephant in the room.

“Skye, if I may ask,” Skye began, her British accent pronounced from exertion, “why isn’t Mika joining us today? She’s been with us every step until now.”

“Before I answer that,” Skye glanced at Gemma with a slight smile, “I just gotta know. Still nervous about Saturday?”

There was a thoughtful silence for a few moments, only the ambient sounds of early morning in the city and their footfalls breaking in. When Gemma answered, her voice was a mix of apprehension and an honest confidence that wouldn’t have been there a week ago.

“Of course, I am.” Their pace remained steady as Gemma continued. “I’ve never done anything like this. That is to say, the fight itself. The audience, in the arena or on the telly, doesn’t bother me. But, the notion of a trained boxer trying to pound me senseless… I’m not terrified anymore, thanks to the training and sparring with you and Mika, but I am… let’s say, ‘anxiously excited.’”

Skye nodded as they rounded the corner past the Campus Apartments. “That’s good. Real good.” City sounds and shoes smacking sidewalk filled the air as Skye considered her next words. “Ya’ know, there’s another way boxing and acting are alike. It’s not just in the practice and the rhythm and the improv. There’s a lot of mental prep. A whole lot.”

Gemma chuckled lightly, “You mean like finding your character? Learning to think and feel as the person you’re meant to play?”

“Not far off,” Skye smiled, happy with how quickly Gemma was learning, but then turned serious. “In boxing, you’ve gotta get yourself to see the guy or gal in front of you as an opponent, not a person. An opponent is something to be overcome. Ya’ gotta be able to do things to an opponent you’d never do to another human being.”

“That sounds,” Gemma seemed taken aback as she searched for the words, “a bit… I don’t know, harsh? Wouldn’t you say?”

The pair slowed down near the steps of The Omni, the arena that Gemma where would be fighting in just two short days. Coming to a stop, Skye pulled out her water bottle and Gemma followed suit. After a deep swig and a little thought, Skye looked up at the marquee and explained.

“It is. And it can be hard, like, really hard.” Skye sighed and Gemma could see Skye searching for words. “I grew up in Chicago. It was rough. I was picked on in school, bullied. When you’ve got people wanting to beat you up for no reason on the regular, ya harden up pretty quick. So when I got into boxing, I channeled that. Like, if I fought you, as big a fan as I am, as awesome as it’s been hanging with you and showing you the ropes, when I stepped in the ring, I’d look at you and see my bullies and I’d do what had to do.”

Gemma looked at Skye as if seeing her for the first time. “That’s… I’m so sorry you went through that as a child.”

“Oh no, please,” Skye waved it off. “If I hadn’t gone through that growing up, I wouldn’t be the person I am now. But, my point is, for some people, we kinda have a conduit built in. But, for Mika? She’s one of the kindest, most compassionate people you’ll ever meet. For her to get herself to a place where she wants to actually hurt someone? It’s tough on her. I’ve been seeing it firsthand. For her to do that, she’s gonna need some distance.”

Skye took another drink from her water bottle as understanding flicker Gemma’s eyes. She stared up at the marquee now, too, the matches for Saturday scrolling by. Eventually, they saw it.

SATURDAY… MINOR CIRCUIT FIGHT NIGHT… WOMEN’S CIRCUIT ATTRACTION… “THE HEROINE” STAR MIKA… VERSUS… GEMMA GOLDEN… STAR OF “THE BIRMINGHAM BUTTERFLY”...

Gemma’s voice went quiet, “Like exploring a role that’s so different from who you are as a person that you question why you took the part in the first place.”

“Pretty much,” Skye affirmed with warmth and empathy, then rested her hand on Gemma’s shoulder. “Look, Mika doesn’t want to hurt you. She would never inflict pain just for the hell of it. I’m pretty sure I can say the same for you. But the difference is, right now, come Saturday, Mika will enter that ring determined to inflict as much pain and hurt on you as she needs to and win.”

Realization fell heavy on Gemma at that moment. Then, determination took hold. “If I don’t find it in myself, the person who’s willing to fight without reservation, I’m going to get hurt quite badly.” Steeling herself with a deep breath, Gemma looked Skye in the eyes, “Skye, performer to performer, I need to find my character before Saturday. Would you be willing to help me? I understand if not. It would be a bit awkward, what with Mika being your flatmate and all.”

Skye smiled without hesitation, “Girl? You think I’m gonna dip on you in your moment of need? I’d never forgive myself if my favorite actor got busted up and I coulda made sure she at least gave as good as she got.”

A tear rolled down Gemma’s cheek, “Thank you, so much, Skye.”

“We’ll find the fighter in you,” Skye said with confidence. “Besides, Mika wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s why she offered to help you in the first place and that’s why she asked me to pitch in. It’ll be hard, but you can do it.”

Renewed focus and drive swept over Gemma as she took a last swallow of her water and tucked the bottle away. With a gesture to the sidewalk, the rest of their run ahead them, Gemma smiled, “Well, then. We shouldn’t waste all this beautiful daylight. Shall we?”

Star Mika is an OC belonging to @cyrah-is-cool101 and is used with permission.

[endlesstwanted]

I Can’t Like That

My entry for @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt #238 — take my hand & the @febuwhump’s day 1 prompt — helpless, read under the cut. You can find it on Ao3 here.

Fandom: Chicago Fire

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Pairing: Joe Cruz & Brian "Otis" Zvonecek

Tags: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Implied Canon Character Death

Summary: Joe waits, helpless, for his best friend to leave.

Wordcount: 570

Also filling the prompts: @seasonaldelightsbingo — “I’d rather it be me than you.” / @fnafbingo — “There is room for one more.” / @lyricalescape — “And you can’t save me.” / @multifandom-flash, round 2 card #2003 — “It’s alright, you could never hurt me. I just feel you.” + Awesomeness Is a Force

Joe has learned from a young age that making good things would eventually bring good things to his life. He considers himself to be a good man, or at least most of the time he tries to be one, staying loyal to the beliefs that raised him and aiming to be pure of soul.

But Brian has been a good man all his life. Not only has he the most pure of hearts, but he’s been the kindest, more selfish and trustworthy person Joe has been blessed with meeting. Honest with every action on his back, and every word he’s shared. He’s been a huge support not just for Joe, but for a lot of people. Brian has saved lives.

He saved Joe’s. Even in the times when he wasn’t someone good to have around, in the time where Joe had met dark routes and taken decisions that were sometimes hard to live with, Otis has always been good to him.

The best of men.

That’s why Joe doesn’t understand how they have gotten here. Now, the chance to have it all paid back to his friend is only a dream. All the good that Otis has given to the world, everything that he has done for their town as a firefighter, it can’t get back to him.

Somehow any of this seems to matter now that Joe stands next to his friend, still unconscious on the hospital bed, because this is another day in his life in which Otis has chosen to be good.

He wants to reach out to take Otis’ hand. He wants to take it, and squeeze it hard, and change himself for his best friend because he knows Otis’ closer to heaven than to Earth.

But they told him not to touch him. And Joe doesn’t want him to be in more pain, so he doesn’t.

He doesn’t take his hand, but he wishes he would have been with Otis and took his hand in the fire, bringing him along instead of letting fate leave him behind. If they were together, if they’d been running away from the flames side by side, Joe would have never let Otis give his life to save everybody in the basement. The factory’ workers. Their family. Joe himself.

He would have taken his hand and dragged him inside the room. They would have closed the door, together, and they would be taking Sylvie’s and her broken arm back home by now.

Yet, Joe can’t give himself the chance to think of the what if’s. Of what they would do when Otis got out of the hospital, of how they would help Sylvie organise her wedding before she moved away, of how Otis would tell Lily the story about this fire with some joke in between because that would be the only way he would be able to talk about this day.

Joe supposes he’ll never be able to do it himself, as the day he’ll lose his best friend is meant to become the worst day of his life. And right now, he can’t take the sound out of his head. Joe’s afraid the last thing he’ll ever hear from Otis is the SOS signal of his suit.

That can’t be the only thing left of the man that had been so much for him. But if it is, he hopes someone’s taking Otis’ hand from the other side.