#the disgust lmao!!!!!! and them basically saying the same thing too lmao!!!!!!!!

[akkivee]

i am in tears samatoki and kuukou reacted the exact same way to seeing sasara’s clown ass ability lmao

[miaoua3]

Stay The Morning?

Pairing: CEO! scoups x f!reader

Genre: shameless smut (MDNI), one night stand, meet cute, rich ceo x normal girl, morning after, the whole encounter described through flashbacks, mentions of previous cheating

Description: after your previous boyfriend cheated on you, your friends allowed you three weeks of mopping and self loathing before they drag you out of the house and into a bar. little did you know that a certain gentleman will be there and that he will change your world for a night

Note: i went out with my friends, we jokingly went to our local perfume shop, i found cheols perfume (hermes h24), it made me ovulate….bon appetit.

Warning: barely proofread, read at your own risk lmao

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

to say that walking in on your boyfriend and his coworker shagging in your own bed after you’ve decided to come home earlier to surprise him with a warm and delicious cooked meal messed you up a bit was an understatement.

his apologies fell on deaf ears, partly because you didn’t want to hear it and partly because a sudden ringing appeared to be echoing in the shell of your ear.

overcome with rage, you packed all of his stuff in some plastic bags from previous shopping trips, all while he tried to talk to you and explain that ‘it isn’t what it looks like’.

what a bucket full of bullshit.

deciding that 5 bags worth of stuff should last him a few days, you threw them in front of your door before pushing your now ex in the hallway too.

in his boxers only.

but then, your bravery seemed to have disappeared. while your ex was trying to make excuses explain to you the situation, you haven’t let yourself feel a single emotion other than rage and betrayal.

the moment you slammed the door in your ex’s face though, you felt all the emotions suddenly hit you and you crumbled, letting the tears fall down your face.

in these situations, you always find yourself doing the same thing.

and that is call your two best friends.

in the matter of minutes they were in front of your door, with all the necessities like ice cream and tissues.

and they comforted you. for the whole nights.

and the rest of the week.

and the week following that one.

and then third week week too.

well, at least, until friday evening.

at 6pm sharp, your friend, sana, unlocked the door and kicked them with her foot, your other friend jihyo not far behind her.

only to find you on your couch, watching tv with dead eyes, a bucket of ice cream on your lap (now mostly in a watery consistency).

at the sudden outburst, you looked at the direction of your front door with shocked eyes.

sana, having had enough of your bullshit, marched up to you and pulled you up by your arm, “okay that’s it, go take a shower, we’re going out, i have had it with your bullshit. god, you stink, when was the last time you at least put on deodorant, bro? disgusting.”

you, still being in shock, had little space to let out a complaint at her rambling, until she basically pushed you in the bathroom, making you trip over your own feet, before she closed the bathroom door in your face.

after a second, she yelled “oh and shave your legs and everything else, we are getting you laid tonight!”

by the tone of her voice, you knew that you had no choice but to do as she told you. knowing her, she would make the heavens move just to have her way.

an hour later, you were dressed in a little tight cherry red dress, your makeup done by your two friends, hair perfectly done, a black leather jacket resting on your shoulders, your arms intertwined with the arms of your friends, pulling you out of your apartment and down the stairs.

something in your stomach was telling you that that night wouldn’t go as your friend had imagined it. realising this, you raised your concerns.

“guys, while i really do appreciate this, and im sure we will have so much fun, i don’t think i will be sleeping with anyone tonight. it just feels too soon and im not sure if it would be a good idea for me to do that.”

sana scoffs and replies “girl please, your heart is in your vagina, and currently it is broken thanks to the dumbass that you decided to date even when I specifically told you not to, it just needs to be a big dick that will sprinkle some of its fairy dust on it and it will be as good as new-“, she tried to continue, but jihyo decided to interrupt her by letting go of your arm and using the same hand to reach behind your back and smack sana across the back of her head, full force, making her head fly down.

“stop spewing nonsense, even if we wanted to we can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. plus, if she thinks it wouldn’t be a good idea then it probably isn’t, just because it would work for you doesn’t mean it would work for her.”, jihyo defends you as she intertwines your arms again and rubs the back of your hand with her other hand.

sana just mumbles “we will see about that” in response.

after a few minutes, you reach the bar that you visit semi-regularly aka whenever the stars align and all three of you happen to have a free day on the same day.

sitting at your usual place at the bar, sana orders for all of you before you can even try to protest about how you weren’t in a mood for heavy drinks.

as jihyo and sana are talking between themselves, you look around the bar, just to people watch for a bit, see everyone that is mingling in this bar.

and then you see him.

at the other end of the bar, there sat a man so beautiful it made all of those butterflies you felt on the way to the bar roar together into a chaos.

oh.

he’s so beautiful is the only thought that could cross your mind as you observed him. short black hair neatly styled in a way that it compliments all of his features, dark and thick eyebrows pulling your attention, big and plump lips set in a gentle smile. letting your eyes travel, they end up on his arms, observing how tight the black button up looks on him due to his buff physique. your wandering eyes come to his hands that are resting on the top of the counter, one crossed while the other is playing with the glass filled with dark liquor.

seeming that you have zero self control left, you let your eyes wander back up to his face, to admire the face that you could only describe as if it were sculpted by the gods themselves.

only to find his dark eyes already watching you.

quicker than a thunder, you turn your head towards your two friends again, feeling how hot your face feels due to being caught by the perfect stranger.

you try to go back to the conversation that your friends are having, as a distraction from the most perfect man that you have ever seen in your entire life.

what you fail to notice is that the stranger’s eyes stay on you, caressing your figure with his hot gaze, stopping every few seconds on one of your features, as a way to take not of every little detail and memorise it.

after half an hour, you finish your first drink (that tasted only mildly disgusting due to amount of alcohol it had in it). but it seems that with every sip you took, your self control would lessen and your eyes would stray in the direction of mr.perfect (as you started calling him in your head).

only to snap your head right back because he would already be looking at you, gentle smile playing on the edge of his lips.

the entire time you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment, excitement and nervousness. to be completely honest, you forgot how it felt to be excited to have got somebody’s whole attention on you, and to have your own attention solely focused on them.

all the butterflies you felt as you were walking to the bar seem to only duplicate with every little exchange of glances between you and mr.perfect.

just as you raised your hand to get the bartender’s attention, a deep “um, excuse me?” came from your right, making you pause your action to turn your head.

and your breath catches in your throat.

because one and only mr.perfect was standing right there, towering over you due to you sitting and him being so very tall, clad in all black, the sleeves of his black button up rolled up to his elbows, the first few buttons undone, giving you a peak to his strong and defined collarbones, a gentle smile teasing the edges of his mouth.

and his gaze.

oh his gaze was burning you from the intensity of it, making goosebumps arise on your skin.

seeing that he got your attention, he continues with a boyish smile “i was just wondering if i could buy you your next drink? it’s just that- i saw you across the room and i thought that you were absolutely beautiful, and my mom taught me that beautiful women should never pay for their own drinks a-and im rambling aren’t i?”, he finishes with a low chuckle, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

looking at him, it would seem that a cat got ahold of your tongue because you proceed to just stare at him, both of you waiting for you to say anything.

luckily, jihyo comes to your rescue, behind your shoulder smiles at the stranger and says “she would love to!”

breaking out of the trance, you look at her shortly to see her nodding her head encouragingly, before looking at the stranger again with a blushing face “um, yes, i’d really like that”.

he smiles at you, before calling the bartender over. you tell him your order before he directly gets to work.

as your drink is being made, the stranger smiles at you and puts out his hand for a handshake (his beautifully big, veiny and manly hand, adorned by a ring on his middle finger and an expensive watch on his writs) “my name is choi seungcheol, may i ask for yours?”

blushingly, you put your hand in his and introduce yourself. making some small talk, you learn that he is currently 29 years old, and that he’s here with some friends for a friend’s birthday.

just as you were about to ask him what he does for a living, your drink gets put in front of you, breaking the flow of the conversation.

seungcheol, seeing that the only reason why approached you is done, gets up from his sit next to you, “well, your drink is here, i’ll leave you ladies alone now, thank you for allowing me to pay for your drink, enjoy the rest of your night”. he smiles gently before he starts to go back to his friends.

you weren’t lying that alcohol messed with your self control, because in the time it took him to make three steps, you were up and out of your seat, way too loudly than necessary saying “um-!”.

hearing you behind him, he turns around and to see your flustered face, questionably looking at you.

seeing that the cat is already out of the bag and that you already embarrassed yourself as it is, you continue “y-you know, you could buy me the next drink too? o-or, well, you could just- you could offer me a longer conversation instead? um, actually, i-i’d prefer that to a drink.”, you finish with almost to none dignity left, your entire face burning from embarrassment.

seungcheol, in return just smiles.

and the butterflies go wild again.

oh, no.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

waking up, you notice that your room is suspiciously bright. like, way too bright for it to be your room.

the thought makes you jump and sit up automatically, only to notice the lack of the clothes on your body, making you pull the duvet over your chest.

looking around the room, you realise that you were in somebody else’s bed.

and looking to your right, you get the answer as to whose room it is.

seungcheol is sound asleep next to you, shirtless, laying on his stomach with his face turned towards you, his lips set in a cute little pout, his back muscles moving and flexing with every exhale that escapes his mouth.

and his back. oh. my. god.

there were nail scratches all over his back, making it look as if a wild cat had attacked him. but it wasn’t a cat that attacked him, was it now? no it was your doing.

looking around the room, you realise just how much more spacious it looks in the daylight. actually, everything about his condo is big and spacious (as well as everything about him-).

noting every little detail around the room and thinking about how much everything must’ve cost. but it probably didn’t make that much of a difference to him. no.

because choi seungcheol wasn’t just anybody.

he was a ceo of…some company whose name you can’t remember because you were…occupied with something else when he was explaining it to you (read: occupied by watching the veins in his forearms move with every move of his arms that he made).

the fact that he hid that from you up until the moment you walked into his condo makes you mentally scoff at your cluelessness, because who else would wear a watch that size if not a ceo of a company?

you were willing to ignore the big watch. you were even willing to ignore the ridiculously expensive-looking audi that he drove you in to his place. even the underground garage that he drove into.

but walking directly out of the lift and into the biggest condo you have ever since with the whole wall being just one giant window? oh, no way in hell were you going to let it slide.

turning around to look at him questionably, you feel his hand that’s on your back rub slow circles, and his smile turn into a sheepish one.

“so, just a businessman huh?”, you question his previous answer with a raised brow.

in return he chuckles, “well, i am a businessman technically, i just never mentioned that i was a ceo of a company”, he answers before he toes off his dress shoes and walks in what you were sure to be a kitchen.

you follow him, slowly observing the ginormous living room that you find yourself into, before stopping in front of the big window. his condo had to be the best in the whole of seoul, because the view that you are looking at right now is enough to leave you breathless. thousands of lights from all across the seoul make it look like the night sky.

after a minute you ask him “why didn’t you tell me what you really do? there wasn’t really a reason to hide something like that so i assume that you had a bigger reason for not telling me.”, you turn your head back to be able to see him clearly.

he stops pouring you two drinks for a moment, looks upwards with furrowed eyebrows for a moment, before looking at you with and with upmost sincerity answers “you just didn’t seem like the type of person who would care about things like that.”, he turns his head back to the glasses in front of him before he continues “plus, i was sitting in front of the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, i much rather talk about you and get to know you than talk about my boring work.”, he chuckles as he finishes his thought.

his answer was so simple, yet it got your breath catching in your throat.

you can’t remember the last time somebody really cared about you and who wanted to get to know you, to learn about all the little things about you.

your gaze finally falls on seungcheol’s back again, and on your artwork.

you feel the heat on your cheeks worsen, the longer you look at the marks on his big and muscular back. the heat to your face isn’t the only thing that looking at his back brings to you, but the memories of last night as well.

although your eyes are focused on the view in front of you, you can feel that seungcheol was walking slowly towards you, until he was standing directly behind you. slowly, you see his hand appear in front of your face, holding a glass of water. carefully, you take it from his hand, saying a quiet “thank you” before taking a little sip of the water.

you gently put the glass on the little table holding a vase to your left, before looking in front of you again.

ever so slowly, you feel him inch closer to you, until your back is brushing his firm chest. his smell has your mind clouded-he smells so good, not too strong like most men do, but just enough to have you taking a deeper whiff of it. such a pleasant smell, it had your eyelids closing in satisfaction on their own.

ever so lightly he places his hand in your hip, his hold on it getting firmer with each slow second. at this simple touch you find yourself gasping lowly, goosebumps raising on the skin of your arms.

you can tell by the precision of his moves and how he takes his time with each action of his what kind of lover he is. the type to make you feel safe and relaxed. the type that would put your pleasure in the first place. the gentle but firm type.

the type to be the best you have ever had.

another step, and his entire front is touching your entire back. there isn’t an inch of you that isn’t touching him. you can feel his breath on the back of your head, and your own coming to a still stand in your throat.

slowly, he moves his head until it’s right there, to your right. he lets his head dip a little lower, so his nose is grazing the skin of your shoulder and ever so lightly, takes a deep breath of your smell.

he inhales deeply, at the end of it a little groan rumbling in his chest. he then lets his instincts take over-slowly, he moves his head so his nose travels across your shoulder, up your neck (where for a few milliseconds you feel his lips brush across your skin too, making you gasp quietly), across your jawline, until his lips are right by your ear.

in what must be the deepest voice you have ever heard from a man, he whispers, “tell me to stop…”, he pauses, letting go of his self control for a moment and letting his lips leave a little kiss on the edge of your jawline, before he continues “…and i will stop”.

gone were all the thoughts from your head, which is probably why you find your head falling back on his shoulder, eyes closing on their own, feeling the lack of the air in your lungs getting to your head, and breathlessly, you say “don’t stop, please”.

which seemed to be enough for him, because in the next second he’s directing your face to his own with two fingers and kissing you like he’s dying, and you are the only antidote that could save him.

his tongue massages your own in such a meticulous manner, that it made a little moan escape you. quickly, you break the kiss for the second it takes you to turn around in his hold, not even realising that he now had both of his arms wrapped around your stomach, and kissing him with what must look like desperation to anybody else.

he sucks on your top lip for a bit, before he deepens your kiss, his hand flying up to hold your jaw in place, slowly turning your head a bit to the side so he can get even deeper.

you seem to be out of your mind, because your hand-all on its own- grabs ahold of his other hand that is resting on your back, and places it on the back of your head.

seeing what you probably must’ve wanted, seungcheol takes a second to push his hand into your hair. and then he pulls on it ever so lightly.

and then you moan loudly in his mouth.

and that seems to do it for him, because he groans deeply at your moan, before he breaks a kiss harshly to grab ahold of your thighs and pick you up as if you weighed nothing.

the action got you gasping, your legs automatically wrapping themselves around his hips. but before you had the time to tell him to put you down and that “you were too heavy”, he’s right back, kissing you like he was starving for it-starving for you.

with ease, he turns around and starts walking down the hall. but since he’s only a man, he gets a bit carried away, having to stop and push you against the wall, his kisses now fast and almost animalistic, travelling from your mouth, across your cheek and down your throat. at one harsher kiss to your skin on the neck, you let out a louder moan, which only fuelled his desire, his kisses getting faster, harsher, his tongue touching your skin with his open mouth kisses, the hold he had on your thighs getting tighter.

you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this wet, this satisfied, this hungry for more from a kiss alone. out of the window went all of your consciousness, your thoughts, the only thing that you knew at that moment were seungcheol and that you wanted him. more than you have ever wanted anything else.

gasping while he continues to attack your neck and collarbones, you moan a simple “more”.

and who was seungcheol to deprive his lady of what she wanted?

taking ahold of his actions, he gets a better grasp on your thighs, before he pushes you two away from the wall. in five big steps, he’s in front of his bedroom door, pushing them opened harshly with his foot, carrying you inside, before letting go of one of your legs to slam the door shut, all while still kissing you.

the thoughts that were playing in your mind like a movie got you slapping your face with both hands, covering your whole face with them.

not being able to sit still anymore, you gut up and out of the bed, quickly picking up a random shirt from the chair that was by the door, and out of the room.

you find yourself a bit lost, before you see the door to your left, on which stoop a sign that said “bathroom”. quickly, you run into the room and close the door behind yourself.

breathing out a sigh of relief, you look around to see just how ridiculously expensive the bathroom must look like.

and without any disappointment, the bathroom looks like it came straight out of somebody’s pinterest board- a big white bathtub to the left, to the right what must be the biggest shower you have ever seen, a toilet to the left in front of you, and a mirror so big there wouldn’t be a wall big enough to hang it in your own apartment. the tiles of the whole bathroom were this nice shade of beige, creating a harmony with the white furniture of the room.

noticing how badly you need to relieve yourself, you do yourself before getting up to wash your hands. as you finish, you look up to see just how bad your makeup must look.

and you gasp. because your whole neck is covered in hickeys, bigger part of them looking like they are connecting, making it look like one giant purple hickey that’s wrapped around your whole neck.

you just stand there for a second, in a loss for words as to how bad it looks. if you saw this sight on anybody else, you would think that they got mauled by a bear or some wild animal of sorts.

looking at the hickeys on your body got you blushing, and even more so as you remember how they came to be.

ever so gently, seungcheol puts you down on his big and fluffy bed. putting you down seemed to be the only thing he was going to do gently, because the very next second he’s basically pouncing on you, the kiss continuing after a brief moment it took him to lay you down. you feel his tongue battle with your own, before he pulls on your bottom lip with his own lips, lightly biting it to tease you just a little bit.

his hands go from resting next to your head to caressing your body, until they reach the hem of your dress. he breaks the kiss apart, starting to ask “can i-“.

but before he can finish the sentence, you are whining in his face, glossy eyes looking up at him “take it off, please, take it off take it off, please please please-“.

your begging seems to make him lose his mind just a bit more. quickly and with no care, as if he’s just as desperate to have this tight dress off of your body, he switches his hold to the straps of your dresss, harshly pulling it down your arms and chest, over your waist and over your hips, before giving it one final pull over your legs and tossing it over his shoulder.

for a moment, he sits on his heels and just observes you. he feels his chest tightening due to lack of oxygen, his heart beating so fast he thinks it could stop any moment.

your curves would get him kneeling in front of you if he wasn’t already doing so. and the little two piece lingerie- god, help him, for he is about to sin, big time.

he wanted to look at this sight for a bit longer, to have it embedded in his mind forever, but it seems that his girl is a bit impatient, because he feels your hand harshly pulling on his shirt and feels himself falling down on you before the sound of your whining even has the time to hit the shell of his ear.

you kiss him desperately, your hands everywhere- in his hair, on the nape of his neck, across his shoulders and scratching on his back.

all while whining and moaning in his mouth.

god help cheol if he wasn’t about to cum just from the pretty sounds you were making for him.

seeing as you weren’t willing to let him go, or stop kissing him for that matter, seungcheol opts to multitask and take his shirt off while still kissing you. the moment its off, your hands seem to have a mind of their own, travelling all over his back and shoulders before straying to his front, your firm touch traveling from his stomach to his chest.

deciding that he can’t wait anymore, he pulls on your underwear harshly, making them fly over his shoulder too, before he lets his lips leave open-mouth kisses over your neck, collarbones, chest, stopping for a bit to give you nipples a little nibble over your lacy bra, over your tummy, on your hip.

before he knows it, he finds himself laying between your legs, looking up at you through his thick eyelashes, his gaze hot enough to burn your skin.

he gently takes your thighs in his hands, before putting them on his shoulders. before he can even utter the words, you nod your head vigorously and enthusiastically, feeling your legs shake slightly at anticipation.

and then his mouth is on you. and you gasp.

he licks one long stripe from your hole to your clit, which he proceeds to suck onto lightly, making your hips buckle. his tongue then starts to lap at it, leaving little kitten licks on your clit.

your hand instinctively fly to his beautiful luscious hair, pulling on it, trying to getting him even closer if possible.

understanding what you want, seungcheol then lowers his mouth a bit, probing and pushing at your hole, twisting his tongue when entering you in ways you couldn’t think were humanly possible, sucking on your entrance every time before his tongue enters you again.

it’s embarrassing to admit, but you can confidently say that you have never been this close to the finish this fast.

which is why you try to pull him away by your hold on his hair. but he ignores your tugging, instead lets one of his hands that’s been holding your thigh travel up and take hold of one of your hands, before intertwining your hands and letting them rest on your hip.

such a simple action but it got your heart feeling so warm, you can for sure say that nobody ever made you feel this way by a simple action such as this one.

feeling your finish approaching quickly, you try to warn him, but he just looks at you with what looked like to be completely black eyes sternly, almost as if he was saying “don’t you dare stop me”.

and who were you to do as much?

suddenly, like a big wave, you feel the euphoria hit you, you back leaving the mattress, the hold you had on his hand and his hair tightening to the point you were sure must’ve hurt him, your thighs locking, squishing his face between them, all while moaning so loudly you were sure his neighbours were about to hate you.

seungcheol just continues to lap at your hole, drinking up every little drop of your cum as if it were nectar, closing his eyes in enjoyment, groaning as he makes sure to drink up everything you were giving him.

after a minute, you start feeling a bit overstimulated, whining in protest, which was seungcheol’s cue to stop. slowly detangling himself from your legs, he slowly climbs back up before he’s kissing you, your own taste greeting you on his tongue.

seungcheol breaks the kiss apart for a moment, his eyes as dark as night as he looks you directly in the eyes, before he asks you.

“are you ready to give me more, pretty girl?”

you again cover your blushing face with your hands, peeking just a bit between your fingers to look at yourself in the mirror.

seungcheol is so perfect, in every way possible, that you weren’t sure that he was real. maybe he was just a speck of your imagination, something you made up in your mind to make yourself feel better about your love life.

your hands slowly slide down your face as the reality of the situation starts to hit you, a sour look overtaking your expression.

seungcheol was so perfect. too perfect for you to have him.

knowing that talking to him again will just add salt to the injury, that it will make you realise just how out of your league he is, you decide that sneaking off would be for the best, for the both of you. after all, this was probably just a one time thing for him.

you bend down to pick up the shirt that you took from his room to put on until you find your dress, when suddenly, you feel a sharp cramp in your thighs, making you gasp.

you knew that you two went quite hard at it last night, but you didn’t think it would make walking hard for you the next day.

shyly, you peek at your thighs to see just how irritated the skin must look like, the recollection of the encounter yet again clouding your mind.

as you kiss, you feel one of his hands reach to the side before you hear him fumble with something, breaking the kiss so you both look at him struggling to find the condom in his nightstand.

after a few seconds he finally pulls out a pack, taking one out of the bunch before he pulls back entirely, sitting on his heels.

carefully he unbuttons his pants, pulling them and his underwear just enough for his cock go be freed. and oh god, if that wasn’t the biggest one you have ever had, he was so big and thick, it made goosebumps appear on your skin in anticipation. he rips the packaging with his teeth, and rolls it on himself, all while he still keeps the eye contact going.

seungcheol then lowers himself back onto you, before he teases your folds with his fingers.

in a raspy voice he says “your pussy got me so drunk that i forgot that i need to prep you before i fuck you”, and then he pushes one of his thick fingers in your hole, your gasp so loud in your own ears that normally it would make you feel embarrassed. he then continues “wouldn’t want to hurt my pretty girl when I’m supposed to be making you feel good, hm?”, he finishes and pushes another finger on the next time he pushes back inside of you.

if you had any mental strength left, you would’ve answered him, but there was literally nothing going on in your head other than how good his fingers felt, massaging your walls, scissoring you,his tumb gently massaging your clit in slow circles, pushing and pulling his fingers in a slow but steady pace, ever so often the til of his fingers grazing your g spot, making you moan in his face.

he fingers you as if he had tons of experience with your body, like he already knew how you liked it. and he does it all while looking at your face, his forehead slowly coming down to rest on your own.

after what you felt must’ve been hours when in reality it was just a few minutes, he seemed to be satisfied, pulling his fingers out completely.

and then he pushed the very same fingers inside of his mouth, eyebrows furrowing and eyes closing at your taste, humming in satisfaction as he licks his fingers clean.

you feel yourself clench as you watch him suck on his fingers. he looked like a god as he did it- his hair now messy and fluffy thanks to you, his expression looks like he’s having the best meal of his life, his tan skin glistening with sweat, his naked chest raising as he breathes in and out.

he looked so divine, it made you go just a little bit insane. just a bit.

he opens his dark eyes again, his face turning somewhat serious. seungcheol then slowly lowers himself down again, caging your head with his forearms that come to rest next to your head, making your entire focus shift to his eyes.

without much thought, you wrap your arms around his back, your legs locking themselves around his hips.

in the corner of your eye you see him his hand disappearing down, before you feel his cock teasing your folds, his head catching on your clit when he goes to pull it down back your folds. you gasp at this action, you eyes wanting to close themselves all on their own but your mind makes them stay open as you don’t want to miss a single thing.

his free hand comes to your face, pushing your hair back a little bit, before his tumb comes to wipe your bottom lip, your lips falling open on their own.

seungcheol caresses your cheek with the same tumb, and with gentle eyes and voice asks “ready?”.

to which you only nod your head slightly.

he smiles slightly before he lightly pinches your cheek “use your words, baby. i need to know you are 100% sure about this.”

a whispered ‘yes’ falls out of your mouth, your eyes in a trance with his own, the only things you are able to focus on are those chocolate orbs of his.

and then he’s pushing inside of you.

you both gasp at the burn, having difficulties fitting him inside of your tight hole.

his gasp turns into a rough growl, deeply saying “fuck, so tight, baby, you need to relax for me, otherwise i could hurt you”.

you try to listen to him, taking a deep breath in and out. kind of at the same time you both look down between yourselves.

only to see that he has only pushed his tip inside of you.

dear lord, may he help you survive this night.

as a minute passes by, you feel yourself slowly relax, seungcheol pushes himself a little bit more every few seconds until he’s completely bottoms out, his hips now touching yours.

he gives you a minute to relax, his hand gently rubbing your cheek, eyes lovingly looking at you.

as you give him a slight nod with your head, he slowly pulls out, before pushing back. he sets a slow pace for the start, carefully looking at your face for signs of discomfort, making your heart clench at his little signs of affection.

the pace continues for a few minutes, the thickness of his cock and how it massages your insides making you moan and him groan.

feeling like its not enough, you whine a little ‘more’ to him.

which was either the biggest mistake or the best decision of your life.

he quickens the movement of his hips slightly, the slapping of skin against skin now being added to the harmony that your moans and his groans were making.

his breath starts coming out heavier, the air that leaves his mouth lightly hitting your face as he’s fucking you.

you whine every time he pulls his hips back and moan every time he pushes them back, his cock repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.

but it seems like you are so desperate for more, so insatiable, that you pull him closer to you with your hold around his shoulders, his face falling in the curve where your neck meets your shoulders, your own doing the very same, whining “more, please, give me more, i want more, please please please-“ directly in his ear, your eyes closing in pleasure.

seungcheol stops for second, making you whine in disappointment, takes ahold of your thighs to hitch your legs higher on his hips.

and then he doubles the speed of his hips.

he sets an insane pace, his hips slapping against the back of your thighs, groans and deep moans falling out of his mouth. his dick feels so big, his head repeatedly hitting your spot, making your moans border on screams.

you can’t remember the last time you got fucked this good, and you were sure this will stay in your memory forever.

seungcheol continues with his merciless pace, your muscles clenching around him which in return makes him make more of those beautiful noises.

“you like that, baby? fuck, the noises you make- you are driving me insane. your pussy feels so tight- fuck, i can barely fit. and it’s so wet i- jesus. is this all for me? hm? so wet, just for me baby? fuck, i could fuck you for the rest of my life, never want to stop, want my dick inside of you all the time. you’d like that, wouldn’t you pretty girl? fuck- such a good girl-“

he continues to praise you and talk about you good you feel, how you are being such a good girl for him, and normally you would answer.

(un)fortunately, you have zero thoughts going on in your mind, only able to moan in his ear while he kisses and bites your shoulder, neck and collarbones, the sting barely noticeable in comparison to the slapping of the skin you feel on the back of your thighs. with extra effort, you successfully say through a moan “more, please, gimme more”.

seungcheol growls at this, before he pulls out completely out of you. he then harshly pulls you by your thighs and turns you over, pulling your hips up before you even have the time to let out a gasp. your chest that are now lacking all the air are touching the mattress while your ass is in the air, fully exposed to seungcheol’s eyes.

without any warning he slaps your right ass cheek, something between a scream and a moan flying out of your mouth. not giving you any time to even process the action, he’s already pushing his cock back inside of you, the new angle making the stretch feel even more delicious.

“fuck, my girl is so desperate huh? so desperate for this cock, moaning so prettily for me. fuck, you are going to be the death of me, you and this pussy”.

he basically lays himself on top of you, covering your whole body with his own, his firm chest pressed in your back, before he resumes his quick pace.

seungcheol pounds into you, so much so that you feel your pussy burn from the force of his hips that are slapping against it.

he continues to praise you but unfortunately you don’t hear anything anymore, only things that you can focus on is the delicious stretch of his dick and how it’s repeatedly hitting your g spot.

feeling your finish approaching quicker than expected, you moan out “im coming im coming im comi-“.

seeing that he is in the same boat, seungcheol groans in your ear, his hand quickly finding your own and intertwining your hands. squeezing your hands tightly, he growls in your ear “cum. cum for me pretty girl, fuck- make a mess on this dick”.

he uses his free hand to find your clit and rub it quickly.

and then you are screaming in pleasure. you feel your walls squeezing him harder than ever, milking him dry, which triggers his own release, a deep moan rumbling in his chest against your own back.

he fucks your slowly through both of your orgasms, your mind so cloudy that you don’t even feel the bite on your shoulder that he had to do in order to quiet down his own moans.

after a minute you feel your thighs shake slightly from overstimulation, lightly tapping him on his arm to stop, and he does. he stays inside as he uses his hand to slightly rub the side of your thigh in comfort.

as you try to regain your breath, you feel seungcheol kiss your cheek lightly like a feather, before he asks.

“ready to give me one more, baby?”

your cheeks burn as your thoughts take over your mind again. quickly shaking them off, you pull on the shirt over your head before leaving the bathroom.

as quietly as possible, you enter seungcheol’s room to find him still sleeping on his stomach, his back turned to you. sighing in relief, you make a quick search for your things.

as you pull on your dress from last night, you grimace at the fact that you will have to wear the same pair of panties from last night.

as you make sure that you have all of your things, you slowly head for the doors.

until a voice behind you stops you.

“leaving already?”.

you stop in your tracks before slowly turning around to see seungcheol looking at you through puffy eyes.

“yknow, if you wanted to leave in the morning, you could’ve just told me that last night, i would’ve prepared a car to drive you back, but i was under the impression that you were going to stay and have a breakfast with me”, he finishes as he lightly rubs his face.

you quickly look down, embarrassment and guilt washing over your face. you did want to stay, you wanted to stay for as long as he would let you, but you weren’t sure if that would be okay for him, or if you even deserved it.

seeing the expression on your face, seungcheol then asks, barely above the whisper, pleading looking at you.

“stay? please?”.

you quickly look up to see his gentle eyes, before you answer unsurely.

“would that really be okay with you? it’s just- i wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be a one time thing only or-or maybe- well, something more, so uh, i thought it be better to just leave a-and i-“

as you ramble, seungcheol feels his lips betray him as a small smile slowly gets bigger and bigger the longer you talk. deciding to make this easier for the both of you, he interrupts you.

“baby?”

you look at him with red cheeks, all and every thought you had evaporating from your mind.

seeing that he got your attention, he continues.

“take that dress off and get back in here, i want cuddles…and maybe something more.”

and who were you to deny him anything?

[weebsinstash]

They often say food can be a language of love, and one of the things that started driving Suguru into a deeper depression was eating curses that tasted horribly disgusting and then also not being able to eat normal food, so I was thinking about a story concept where Reader through whatever means can actually give Geto his sense of taste back and actually ease the discomfort he experiences when eating curses, and he forms a deep gratitude/obsession/love because of it

Obviously i publish yandere stuff but it doesn't mean up in Brain Land that I don't think of other ideas, action, adventure, what not, and recently I've been thinking of -also this was kind of for yandere purposes too actually lmao- Reader having a technique along the lines of "Cursed Memory Manipulation"

You can manipulate curses just like Geto, only you do it by affecting their memories into thinking you're an ally or friend or master or whatever gets them to obey. There are limits, but if it's some mindless creature, you're basically a Pokemon trainer. But I was thinking, can you imagine being his classmate who he has way too much depression to fully pay attention to, he's eating less, he's losing weight, losing sleep, and one day you're eating lunch near him and see he's struggling to keep food down, and he leaks vague details about how he keeps thinking about the taste of curses and how food doesn't taste the same.

Here you are, genuinely wanting to help him, just casually like, "well, what if I take a bite of this food, and then when you take a bite, I put my memory of what it tasted like in your head while we eat together" and it's some spur of the moment idea that he's too tired to argue against you about, so he does it to humor you and get it over with and. It works? It actually works??? He can taste and the world is beautiful again?

Oh sure, it starts off sharing lunches with him, but he's basically unable to normally eat without you, so, he all but glues himself to you at all times so you can eat all your meals together. At his worst, a yandere Geto would just immediately outright insist on if not demand marriage, because how ELSE are you two going to share every meal together? He may even force you to cook for him to make the meals you two eat all the more special. You're just his little Patron Saint of Snacks who can actually give him an appetite again

And I guess as a bonus, the idea I was originally tacking the concept of Cursed Memory Manipulation onto was, vague but, it was the idea of, what if Reader is losing a fight and is at genuine risk of being killed and you use your technique to fill your attacker with memories of you, and maybe you don't exactly have time to think and it turns out to be something really personal, something really intimate, whatever can get this person or creature or curse or whatever to stop attacking you. Sukuna suddenly remembering you as an old flame who he suddenly has too many fond memories of fucking to simply kill you. Mahito stops himself from slicing you open when he's suddenly recalling playing all kinds of games with you, running around as kids, memories of a childhood that didn't exist yet appeals to his young heart.

It's also totally different but I've also thought about 1. What if Sukuna gets in Itadori and finds out the young man isnt all there when it comes to you with Sukuna absorbing some of Yuuji's feelings for you, and then when he jumps to, his current host, HE ALSO had feelings for you, so now Sukuna is like secondhand driven mad with yandere fever and 2. What if after Kenjaku bodysnatches Geto, he runs into you again one day and all of Suguru's repressed and Strong STRONG feelings for you start surging forth and Kenjaku just HAS to keep you around as his new pet at the very least because he just can't shake all these new obsessive thoughts and the literal goosebumps he gets when he looks at you

[aislebewithshu]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 loveit?

x gender neutral reader.

wc: 468

cw: yandere, mentions of cannibalism (in a metaphorical sense), character death, dismemberment (but not too graphic), vomit/throwing up, dark content basically. DIRECT references to the song loveit? and love eat and also based on the revenge theory bcs ppl have different interpretations towards this song lmao (and it made a dent in my brain forever. thank u to that one that came up w the theory).

dead dove, do not eat.

author notes: hi it's been a while since i last wrote anything.. i mean anything at all.. this (obviously) might not be the accurate representation to the songs HNFF pls i tried considering other theories... thank u for reading!! scroll away if uncomfy <3

red. It is the color he could only see.

how putrid, he thinks. seeing so many people surrounding you, it irks him. how could you talk to these… lowly creatures undeserving of your presence? he eyes you like a predator, watching your possible next move. oh, how he loves that horrified look you have for a second the moment you laid your eyes on him.

“come on, eat it, darling."

he urges you as you hesitantly look at the ‘food’ served to you, then back at the male. what could he put here that he insists that you eat the meal he prepared? you take a bite, and he smiles.

it was the meat of the person you last talked to, he whispered. the moment he said that to you, you immediately threw up, not letting said human meat inside your system. disgusting, vile, even uncanny.

he was pleased, after all, you wouldn't let anyone in your life except for him, would you? the first question in your mind was, why? why, would he go lengths, as to butcher one's body just because you talked with them? he hates that you're giving all your attention and affection to that insignificant pest.

he also has to stake claims to you - a mark that you are his. that's why he proceeded to gouge out your right eye. it was excruciating, but what mattered to him is that he put a mark on you forever, and he plans to do more.

after all, love makes everyone blind, even to those who think they've seen what true love looks like.

"i'm going to eat you, sexually unrestrained."

oh, why can't you say anything? you're not fighting him back, so you must like the pain he's inflicting from you? poor thing, but he loves you too much to let you go. he promises to eat you up, deep into the marrow, flesh and blood.

that is, until you snap.

cupping his cheeks with your stained hands, you gaze into his eyes. it is uncharacteristically loving, to the point that it freezes him on the spot. what are you going to do next? he thinks.

bringing your lips to his, he indulges in the sick, yet passionate kiss, as you bring your hand to take his knife. you wrap your arms around him as he does the same, tracing lines at his back with the knife you're holding, bringing your beloved to his beautiful demise.

"you're loveit in human form."

surely you haven't lost your mind? of course, love does make everyone blind, even him. your ultimate intentions— on why you had to indulge in his twisted whims, why you didn't fight back, it all made sense to him now. after all, he fell into the fake love you presented before him, a punishment you endowed on him for killing your actual beloved.

enstars - shiina niki, tenshouin eichi (hear me out), fushimi yuzuru, saegusa ibara, shino hajime, sakuma ritsu (honestly i cld put the whole niki's kitchen circle here)

twst - trey clover, jade leech, jamil viper

bllk - mikage reo, kaiser michael, bachira meguru (hear me out pt. 2)

hsr - jiaoqiu

+ your faves.

©AISLEBEWITHSHU on tumblr. do not repost / feed to AI.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I know there are a lot of bad tropes about people with disabilities, and obviously I don't want to do them, but I was thinking that instead of avoiding them, it might be interesting to subvert/flip them instead.

For example, the "Super cool sci-fi prosthetic/aid that basically makes this character able bodied" except the character finds it a pain in the ass to use and just uses a normal wheelchair/prosthetic 99% of the time.

Or "Disabled people are monsters/inhuman" except the guy with, Idk, hypertrichosis named Wolf is just a normal dude and his petite, softspoken able-bodied girlfriend named Kitty is the one that turns into a werewolf on the full moon.

Or "The masking trope" but the person with a facial scar has to use a mask for safety reasons or they're at a masquerade ball and they get a custom mask that has their scar painted on it because they think their scar is cool looking.

Or "The disability reveal" except instead of being horrified or disgusted by the disabled person, everyone just sort of goes "Huh! Anyways, what were you saying earlier?"

Does this sort of thing sound like it could still be a problem? I love flipping/subverting tropes and I think it would be a great way to challenge people and make them think about their biases/assumptions regarding disabled people.

But I'm also worried that I would accidentally make something even worse. Do you guys have any advice?

Also, there are some that I don't want to flip or even deal with, like the "person fakes a disability". I honestly don't even know where to start with that mess and I can't think of a way to flip it that would make sense and not be some sort of incoherent nonsense lmao.

Hello lovely asker!

I think this sounds absolutely delightful (I especially like the one about the man with hypertrichosis and his werewolf girlfriend kitty.) This sounds like such a fun way to flip the tropes and the ones you picked and explained sound great.

And actually for the "person fakes disability" trope I think the show Special actually takes a sorta subverting take on that trope and does it in an interesting and comedic way (also it's a good show) if you would like to see a possible example. Another good Invert of a trope is in "Where the truth lies" (1999) and it takes a twist on the "The disabled person could never commit that crime!" trope. It stars Marlee Matlin and again another movie I highly recommend especially if your into messing about with tropes.

Subverting I think can make people a bit anxious just because you're not sure if it's actually going to end in the trope or be subverted, that sorta last minute switch and "Oh it didn't happen, phew" thing. But if it's done good, well, it's good. Subverting the trope from the get-go (like Special does) is a way to kinda ease that worry, but either way they both can be good.

Another thing you can do is change the trope where tropes are known within the story. The first one that comes to mind is like the "Disabled people die first" trope. So your characters are about to go into somewhere spooky but then your disabled character goes "Oh no, I'm not going in there. Disabled people always die first, you guys go on ahead.". This is often done with the "Disabled villain" trope too where something happens and then the character goes "I'm not gonna go all [mention of prominent disabled villain in media that has the same disability as them] on you guys!"

The only thing I would keep in mind, especially for Inverting Tropes is that often they are played for laughs. Now I don't mean like above where the purpose of the story is supposed to be funny/a comedy. I mean in the instance that the disabled person, even with the trope changed, is made the target of the joke. And as you said, you are right that some of the tropes are just better left alone partly because it is hard to make something good out of them. The "Cure Trope" is one that I just can't think of anything for, and there are many more that are just bad and are better left alone to perish.

This all sounds fun though! I hope you do end up doing something with any of these ideas of yours (if you write the hypertrichosis one I would absolutely love to read that one!). Happy writing!

~ Mod Virus 🌸

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I really loved them making Helaena a dragon dreamer in s1 because i thought it would give her more relevance in the story since her arc in the book was too depressing and passive. Boy, was I wrong. Not only she has zero relevance and her screentime is reduced to minimum, but her dreams led to nothing. I mean, what's the point of that gift if she doesn't use it? Daenys saved targaryens thanks to the same gift so that's the proof destiny isn't always set in stone. However, with Helaena it's just frustrating. First there were riddles so I thought fine, maybe she can't interpret them correctly yet (the beast beneath the boards, the rats...) but that balcony scene with Aemond left me confused. I don't know how to interpret her behavior and thoughts in there. Aside from spoiling the God's Eye (lmao, condal is a moron) what were fer intentions? Was she angry on Aegon's behalf? I doubt it it since there was no deep connection or love between the two. Was she rejoicing at the notion of Aemond's death? Why would she just let him go to his death and do nothing? Does she hate him? Is she just too apathetic like Bran in s8 to care? Was she sad and defeated because she is aware of what Aemond has become (what Alicent also repeats over and over) but she still loves him? I seriously don't know what to think. Also ffs, , she appears in Daemon's vision to tell him about him fulfilling his destiny?? I can't express how disgusted I am that they chose her to do that. So, what's the point? And no, the explanation that she is this tragic cassandra figure who can't do anything to prevent certain events doesn't sit well with me because it seems lazy, overused and, like I mentioned before, there is Daenys' example. Do you have some other theories and interpretations of her character in general, but especially the balcony scene?

Good day/night to you!

I can't even express just how much I agree with everything you said. And I really wish I could come up with some clever and intricate theory about the role Helaena is supposed to play in HotD (by the way, anyone who has thoughts on that matter and is willing to share them is more than welcome to join the discussion).

But as of now it seems like the writers did - and most likely will contunue to do - to her the same thing they are doing to the absolute majority of other characters (if not to all of them), namely using her as a tool to get across a certain point. The point in this case being, apparently, that men (and women supporting them) are evil, to put it simply (actually, I just got a wonderful ask regarding misandry in HotD and I can't wait to get to it later today).

And the lack of actual care about the characters is even more evident and striking with regards to Helaena due to the pathetic amount of screentime she got. It feels like the entire meaning of her character has been reduced to showing up for a few minutes to either gain some pity from the audience for the purpose of capitalizing on it later or to give the viewers a heads up on some future events (often in quite a dumb and out-of-the-blue way).

To be clear: just like in Aegon's case, I do not disregard Helaena's suffering, I just resent the way it's being used within the story. Like can you believe it? Her baby son was murdered practically in front of her - but apparently she feels no anger or hatred towards either two scumbags who actually did it or her dearest TB relatives because of whose actions it happened (even if we buy the "unclear instructions" thing). Moreover, she is showing Daemon, basically the murderer of her child, the way to fulfilll his destiny. But apparently she feels psychologically violated by Otto and Alicent making her endure the public funeral (which has been turned into nothing more than a propaganda show) and supposedly despises her younger brother to the point of wanting him dead, the reasons for it being... what?

Him starting the war by killing Lucerys? Are we supposed to believe, even after what Rhaenyra says to Alicent, that if not for Luke's death the Greens would be safe? Him burning Aegon? She does mention that - but just in the scene before she smiles approvingly at Alicent's proposal of leaving KL without giving a second thought to the fate of her brotherhusband and neither has she been shown visiting him - not once. Does she care for Aegon or not? Apparently, she does but only in the moments when it's necessary to explain her treatment of Aemond. Him wanting her to join the fight? Is she that pacifistic?

It really feels like the writers just needed to throw together a bunch of reasons for Helaena's behavior - and that's what they did. And as far as I am concerned, what the show did to Helaena is a character assasination - just probably not as brutal as one of Alicent, but the result is the same.

[keiipopped]

My First Scandal🤭

Okay so i wasn’t gonna address this because frankly it’s irrelevant to me but since bitches wanna get on here and post shit and so called ‘call me out’ so fuck it, I’m bored and have time tonight. If youre on enha writing tumblr then you may have seen posts from or about @dramaticalerror who i cant tag cause the bitch blocked me anyway LMAOO. So let me start by saying that if there’s typos its cause i just did my nails and am trying to type fast lmao and haven’t had nails in a hot minute. Anyway. The whole situation is genuinely irrelevant to me but bc people that have never interacted w me a day in their lives have shit to say. Ill say this, First of all, yes i told the bitch to off herself and yes I said I’d whoop her ass if this was irl (CAUSE I WOULD💀) however, this was after so long of conversation and them being rude initially. People I’ve interacted with on multiple platforms including this one as well as in real life can testify to the fact that i am genuinely a sweet person, but i will fight if needed. Last night i was on tumblr and this person came up on the regular enhypen tag which i follow and they were posting to tell people what they were gonna be writing and i ignored it. Then i realized what kind of content they were actually writing and i wanted them to disappear. Anyway i messaged them politely asking that they blocked me so it would basically be like they never existed and they proceeded to respond rudely but this part was not showed in their responses. They later told me i didnt “deserve” it and then that the more i insulted them the more they’d write Niki smuts and tag me in them. Which i stupidly enough earlier deleted the whole chat thread cause i said i was done w the whole thing. but i do have those. Anyway they later posted the chats but only the parts where i got out of hand AND then blocked me ANYWAY like a fucking clown. They also told me I’d eventually write smut which.. i wont? Like. Y’all i swear it was literally like talking to a 8 year old wall.

It’s just funny cause its so easy to tell how immature this person is because of the tags they use like #controversy. Are you serious 💀

Anyways there was so much more that went down in the chat but this is the only important(not) part. Bottom line is the shit they write is disgusting and anyone that disagrees and plans on writing that shit in the future just go ahead and block me.

AND lastly miss me with that “Jungwon and Sunoo didnt get the same defense” because i was fighting bitches when someone literally wrote smut for him the day after his 18th birthday and i wasn’t here when sunoo turned 18. and if you think people waited for Jungwon to turn 19 youre wrong too.

I would tag the mf also but they like i said blocked me anyway. So 🤷🏽‍♀️

[sanityshorror]

Plz I need more Killian and Negan being a chaotic, god-awful, downright disgusting duo😭😭🙏🙏🙏

PS. I'm 99.9% sure that Killian thinks even less of Patrick than Julius does lmao☠️☠️☠️

Okay okay okay! HC time YAY YAY YAY YAY lmao. So I'm going to do the part about Patrick Bateman in a separate post to keep it more organized especially since I have a lot to say on that. So without further ado, here's more of my Killian and Negan HCs:

Negan and Killian would definitely street race together. Both of them would have Black Betty blasting on repeat lol

Matching outfits. They definitely do matching outfits sometimes and DAYUM THEY LOOK GOOD.

Bros absolutely go out to dive bars together to pick up women, drink, and play pool.

Negan still is convinced that Cian is Killian's brother. Killian is still convinced that Carl is Negan's biological son.

Speaking of Cian and Carl, they probably get along lol so quadruple the chaos but Cian and Carl are both a lot more chill especially as adults so they would be the wranglers. Lol

Negan would probably get Killian into sports. Specifically baseball (duh) and American football.

"You're one huge son of a bitch, built like a fuckin' line backer!" - Negan, talking to Killian, probably

They beat the living shit out of each other for fun. Neither one of them will stop until they both have two black eyes and busted lips. As long as Killian doesn't use his demon strength they're actually in the same weight class so yeah they're basically doing backyard MMA.

Drink together and smoke cigars while swapping stories about crazy sex and crazy kills. Killian, of course, has many that involve both acts combined into one.

Negan's initial reaction was to the information:

Negan started laughing pretty quick though and called Killian a crazy son of a bitch.

They both do that bro-arm around the shoulder thing to each other that's like an affectionate choke hold.

Killian brought Negan a new leather jacket made special just for him with the name Lucille embroidered beautifully over the heart. "...Jules made this, didn't he?" "No goddamn shit." "...Well, it would be a waste of a life to not fuckin wear the human leather jacket 😂😂😂" yeah, negan loves it.

Negan is still high key a bit disturbed at the reasoning behind Killian's cane being named "Bethany," given it's basically the polar opposite to why he named his bat "Lucille."

Negan is half terrified of Killian, and half not remotely scared of him. He knows Killian isn't going to hurt him... Well, at least not badly.

Killian gave Negan the mob brand without initiation to show he holds the utmost respect for Negan. Negan is more than smart enough to understand how much that says and how serious it is.

Negan tried on Killian's boots but they were too big on him. Killian did his usual "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT SMALL FEET? SMALL FUCKIN DICK WHAHSHAHAHAHAHA" thing. Negan has a very similar sense of humor so he just started wheezing.

Cian and Carl keep stealing their guns.........

I have a lot more but I'll stop here xD

[sehtoast]

Is it me or not many people simp for Homelander compared to other villains? It’s like people can’t say they find him hot without getting jumped and i just don’t understand why? There’re villains who have done way worse and people still like them so why is it any different with Homelander, he is literally fictional and never harmed anyone in real life. What do you think is the reason?

Prepare yourself. This is gonna be a long one lol:

For what it’s worth, I feel like a lot more people do simp for him than are open about it for exactly what you just said. I’ve rarely seen fandoms respond to people liking a character the way people jump at us for liking Homelander.  The amount of hate mail I've received and seen others get and the genuinely FOUL things that have been said are just absolutely crazy. Like I’ve seen less kickback for people simping for real-world mass shooters and serial killers than I have for fans of Homie, which is WILD but yeah!!

I think it’s because Kripke decided to make him a Trump allegory that makes people so quick to jump us over it honestly. I feel like if he wasn’t, a LOT more people would openly like him too. 

More below the cut:

90% of the criticisms I see toward Homie fans is “he’s LITCHERALLY TRUMP” and/or something about Stormfront.  Some people go the “he’s a r*pist” route, which, sure, valid, but then this is not the same energy a lot of fans of r*pist characters have gotten.  I remember with shows like GoT, where characters could be any number of awful things (including r*pists), there wasn’t necessarily as much vilification of people for liking those characters, and, even though I didn’t watch much of the show, I know daaaaamn well we got some qualifiers in there.  That’s just an example, and there’s certainly others that prove the point. Soldier Boy was downright HORRIBLE to the women he was around, but we barely see criticism there and it's pretty heavily implied he's ignored consent many times in his own time given the way he treats women - plus we know he s*xually abused Gunpowder. Anyway, if that energy isn’t being directed in nearly the same capacity there or elsewhere, then it’s primarily likely to be either reason one or two, and I definitely would put my money on number one.  And like, being a Homelander enjoyer has not made me a Trump enjoyer. In fact, I have a pretty visceral reaction of disgust every time I see that rat bitch on the news lmao.  

Being a Homelander simp certainly does not mean we approve of his every act, but media morality police think this is not the case. I think a lot of people– and this was 100% exacerbated during covid shutdowns imo– have started to see media consumption as a form of morality and feel as though your enjoyment of something is a perfect spreadsheet of who you are as a person.  I mean, there have always been people like this, but it’s gotten worse and significantly more annoying in recent years.  I think the death of media literacy is also contributing heavily here because there being a lack of critical thinking associated with media consumption has so many people painting everything in a purely black and white context. Like this is good, this is bad, there is no middle ground in which people can consume this or appreciate that without it being a moral violation.  Which is… increasingly concerning lol.   

All media has problematic elements somewhere/somehow, and basically all characters do as well.  However, very few have the director jerking off and going “i’m SOOOOO smart for comparing him to trump omfg” and constantly shoving shoehorned political and social commentary into the script the way Kripke does (ask me how I felt about the transphobia ‘commentary’ this season and I will write you a thesis paper about how bad, ineffective, and mostly insulting to trans viewers it was). He’s so fired up to make the two a mirror image that even Antony Starr has said he’s sometimes checking Kripke and telling him that taking it too far reduces the character to one or two dimensional at best unless the comparisons directly relate to the narrative of the character.   The allegories have been effective in keeping people (for the most part) from viewing Homelander as a hero, but it’s also created a lot of senseless vitriol for people who actually do enjoy the character whether strictly because of the character himself or because they’re simping (I do both 😂).

So uh… that’s my extremely long two-cents. Hopefully it makes sense as I’m a little sleep deprived at the moment and just got out of a two hour long lecture lol

[werewolf4vampire]

it is crazy that to this day i still see posts claiming that having a bunch of adults convince youto identify as ace at like 13 years old is completely harmless. like i have LOTS to say about my experiences during this time but tldr, it caused a massive amount of harm to my perception of myself, my sexuality, sexuality in general, and sex. for YEARS. i'll put a break here cause the rest got kinda long lmao

i was 13 or 14 when i first "realized" i was asexual. and a couple years later, when i grew out of it - because yeah, turned out it was basically just because i was a kid, with a side of stress and medication - i was so entrenched in the community and the way they talked about disgusting filthy sinful "allos" that i ended up mislabeling myself as fucking hypersexual to cope with the guilt and confusion. i was 16. i was bisexual, i was just your average horny teen, and they had me literally convinced that how much i was interested in sex was pathologically abnormal. i felt like a freak, and incredibly demonized

the worst part of all though is that to this day, it's still almost impossible to talk about these things because people will just plug their ears and accuse you of being aphobic. and despite me being FAR from the only one to go through this, it's easy for them to dismiss it, because many people are afraid to bring it up, don't feel like it's worth the backlash, or don't want to bother arguing with brick walls, so i appear to be an outlier. that lends more credence to the "you're just aphobic" claim in their eyes

at the same time, i still felt the need to identify as ~demisexual~ because i still felt so ashamed of the idea of being "allo" that i couldn't fully let go of an ace label. essentially, i ended up rationalizing my sexual feelings as being something i didn't want to experience, it was just my disorder - because wanting it, enjoying it would be yucky disgusting. i think i literally had "hypersexual biromantic demisexual" in my bio for a bit lmaoo

i think my being bisexual made me especially susceptible to being afraid of being seen as promiscuous and overly sexual. the ace community was very biphobic then too - probably still are to some extent if only because everyone is biphobic, but i don't run in those circles at all anymore so who knows

(which to be honest, even if i were, it's not exactly as if the traumatic experience of sexually inappropriate interactions with manipulative adults and puritanical group shaming doesn't warrant some kind of fear looool)

"what's the worst that can happen if a kids misidentifies as asexual for a while, not having sex?" is a frankly laughable question

[titan-god-helios]

can we stop using euphemisms to describe fat bodies please. "cuddly body" just say fat. "chubby" just say fat. "teddy bear-like" just say fat. "heavy" just say fat. "big-boned" just say fat. "well-fed" just say fat. "large" just say fat. "shorter than their weight" just say fat. "they've got a bit of a belly" just say fat. "lean challenged" (yes this is a thing i have seen used) JUST SAY FAT.

the more we use euphemisms to describe fat people and fat bodies, the more taboo being fat becomes and the more stigmatised it becomes. the use of euphemisms and dancing around saying plainly and simply that i was (and still am) fat harmed my relationship to my body so much in the past. i started to see the descriptor 'fat' as a morally and generally bad thing to be, when it really is just a descriptor with no moral weight or inherent goodness/badness.

and adding on to that, fatphobia in general doesn't make sense to me. it's the same basic principle of all discrimination - ostracise someone for something they can't control. discrimination by extension ALSO just doesn't make sense to me. if i was to put it into the context of something everyone can see as normal regardless of race or heritage or orientation or weight or whatever, like for example having brown hair, it just sounds silly. imagine living in a world where people treated people with darker hair like they treat fat people.

"look at her hair! it's so dark, she's let herself go." "oh my goodness his hair's almost black - he'll die any time soon, surely." "ugh my hair looks too dark today, i wish i could make it lighter, its so disgusting like this." "wow! his hair's so dark, i bet you he's so sad and chronically online lmao." "their hair is so brown, i bet you they have the tiniest dick known to mankind." "you know, you can get that dark shade lighter in two months flat if you really try hard enough - it'll come right off!" "ewwwww that's disgusting - look how dark their hair is. that's so repulsive."

it sounds stupid, no ?? and thats not even touching on people who can't lose weight due to general body type or a medical problem or because it's a side effect of their important medicine or whatever it is. personally, i've been fat as a relatively young kid all the way till now, and that's WITH me doing a shit ton of sports as a kid and eating well too, as well as relatively regular exercise and still eating well now. i don't lose weight easily, and i'm tempted to say that i *can't* lose weight. and as long as i'm healthy, i don't actually care too much about that. because being fat is just a natural state of the self for me, and for many others. i don't need to "fix" it, because being fat does NOT indicate me or anyone else being unhealthy (unless its sudden and there have been 0 changes to your lifestyle recently, then of course go see a doctor about it but otherwise a person's weight is in no way an indicator of their actual health) and that's that.

anyway fat isnt a bad word destigmatise the word fat please weight does NOT equal to or indicate health in the slightest stop targeting fat men and calling them incels or chronically online or making small-dick jokes - it not only hurts the fat guys themselves but (fat) trans guys and intersex people too and stop being mean to fat people

[vermillioncourt-if]

It seems that most of Consort Xing's children don't share the same views of superiority she has in regards to their half-siblings. What do they think about their mother's belief, themselves?

Hello! ❤️ I'd be glad to answer this!

You'd be mostly right in that assumption! The younger 3 don't really know better, but the older 3 find her ... actions to be annoying or simply just don't like her.

More under the cut!

Kutuo: Kutuo does Not like her mother one bit. They'd probably have a better relationship if Consort Xing didn't constantly ignore her/brush her off while she was growing up in favor of her younger brother, Pihen. That said, Kutuo also isn't very close to any of her siblings, half or full, either. She doesn't consider herself superior than them, but she also doesn't go out of her way to interact with them.

Pihen: Pihen has a ... complicated relationship with his mother. On one hand, she's pretty overbearing with the whole "you will be the heir" thing. He's also said several times before he doesn't want to be anywhere near the throne. Pihen is also shier than his siblings, so he doesn't really speak out against her, just quietly sits there. He does also still care for her, she is his mother, even if she sucks. He doesn't view himself as better than his siblings, though. His closest friend is actually MC's older brother, Second Prince Nan Shuailu, much to his mother's disgust.

Duanzu: Duanzu thinks his mother is an idiot and doesn't care what she says; he's not listening. He, 5th/6th Prince Nan Casao, and 6th/7th Prince Nan Kenlu share most of the same tutors, being so close in age. They all hang out together too, making a trio of teen boys that enjoy terrorizing the palace. While Duanzu doesn't think he's better than his siblings, he does think he's better than most people. So, he's still trying to shake off his mother's lingering aftereffects.

Zhuanying: Zhuanying is just on the cusp of being able to think critically for herself. She is always annoyed that her mother makes her stay in their palace and play by herself or with her nannies, even though she can see Liangxu, Tuojiu, Genbi, and Zhuibi all playing together outside. She doesn't quite get when her mother says that she's "above" them, either. Give her like 3-5 years, and she'll be in a similar spot to Kutuo regarding her mother.

Zuoya: Zuoya is 4 years old, so he doesn't really know better/different. He does get lonely, only playing with his nannies or Zhuanying or Tangye, on the off chance, so he could definitely benefit from some socialization. He's not learning very well either. His nannies aren't very good at trying to teach him the basics, but Luexia won't come help unless Consort Xing apologizes to her (Luexia's) mother (Consort Dou) for what she (Consort Xing) did, which she wouldn't do even if the world was ending.

Tangye: Tangye is 1. Her only concern is who's going to change her diaper and when she gets milk. And right now, Consort Xing and her milk-nurse are the only people with milk and her maids/nannies change her diaper. LMAO

[shed0kryptz]

I'm interested in more thoughts about the collector and dbs relationship as a whole.

is there anything else that stands out about how they feel about each other and how they treat each other?

befor i go crazy, i’ll say two things. db and collector work for a massive portal-regulation company that is responsible for providing portals into other dimensions and this is all still a wip !!! bear with me here lol

hai !! ou ou OU ou ou okay okay. so !!! there’s a lot to say about this. first major thing is that romantic/sexual relationships in the realm, which is the placeholder name we call the dimension that db n collector live in, are seen as taboo/forbidden. they’re deemed as something that “lower” civilizations partake in, such as humanity and beings similar to them. a lot of mundane activities that are normal for us are seen as below them because the beings of the realm have grown beyond the need to do those things. this includes eating, sleeping, bathing, breathing, literally things that living creatures do lmao. relationships are more complicated, because it is accepted to have acquaintances or friends, but anything more than that, like romance, is looked down upon greatly. is it extremely misunderstood by realm beings, possibly equivalent to giving away your status just to have someone in your life, which could be seen as pointless etc. and of course, romantic and/or sexual activities are seen as weird and disgusting. in the lower regions of the realm, it is more common, but it is extremely shady over there and you can easily find yourself in danger !! though most of the least powerful beings reside here, it is very unpredictable as to who you can come across.

back to db and collector. their relationship is quite complicated, since theyve known each other for centuries and have worked in the same office space. it isn’t until the events of the main plot that they actually get together, and this is because both of them were too afraid to say anything. not just because it’s hard to confess, but because they could be at risk with their jobs + realm societal pressures. even though db is a top manager in their unit and collector is its co-manager/assistant, they could be demoted or fired simply for being together. those above them, their “uppers,” would likely see it as an excuse to not work + gross, so they would be discriminated for it. the uppers would either 1. keep a close eye on them or attempt to separate them while reducing their pay (db and collector are probably the best in their unit, particularly db, so they might not want to give that up), 2. demote one of them to a lower position, or 3. have them fired from the company. it honestly depends on how the uppers were to find out + their particular views on the matter, but they would likely be negative about it. due to all of this, db and collector have to be very careful with how they act outside of their room, which, their office consists of the actual office part (desks, bookshelves, bla bla) and a secret room in the back that’s basically an apartment (db had it put there because it possesses humans and needs accommodations for that, which, its uppers have gotten used to this, but a few might judge it for that). during meetings they have to act indifferent around each other, pretend to be there simply for business yada yada. they can’t show affection in public or call each other names. the only private space they have in the realm is their office + the backroom, but they still have to be cautious incase someone is trying to go in.

something that im fond of with them is collector’s acceptance of db’s relations with humans ! collector has experienced various events in history that made it dislike humanity a lot (it got beef with humans 😭). a particular thing that happened involved a past lover of collector’s, who was an outlaw in the 1800s. basically gay cowboy. to summarize, the outlaw was killed by the nearby town and collector was devastated, which led him to. destroying the entire town !!!! oopsies !!!!! but he grew particularly bitter about humans after that, and it didn’t help that db possessed humans + visited earth frequently during work. we have outlined some ideas in which collector talks to db about how it believes that its become more human, since over time his demeanor changes (he becomes less ruthless and selfish) and collector is disappointed because he had more potential then + humans are bad. this would lead to db explaining why it possesses humans n stuff, which is a whole other can of worms. but !! over time as they grow closer, collector becomes more adjusted to humanity and learns to appreciate them again via db. also !!! since db possesses other humans, collector tended to treat it as a separate entity from its vessel. but whenever they start dating, collector begins to associate its vessel with db and consider them as the same person, while also knowing that db is much more beyond the vessel and its regular form tee hee.

also i should say. wayyy before they confessed it was obvious that there was something going on between them. literally, they did things out of their way for each other, gave each other very interesting compliments, shared deep conversation, sat by each other in the same bed. damb they prolly even cuddled once !!!! but both of them were like “yea we’re just friends, we can’t be anything more anyway” despite them literally crushing on one another fhsjfjdjfbfb. we’re not sure exactly what led to them confessing, but once it happened they knew it was right. it was definitely a surprise to both of them in a way, though. to db, collector never seemed to have an interest in love, and collector thought that db would never see it in that way. and both of them thought “we can’t be together because of everyone else !!” but theyve made it work !!! ofc stuff is gonna happen in the plot that will affect that but yurp they did it guyz it’s just a biggg secret. it’s something that the uppers wouldn’t consider between them anyway, since the topic is so rarely spoken of around the realm. or is it ??2?!2

other little things !!!

-after being together for awhile, db tells collector that it actually has a name outside of dealbreaker, which collector is absolutely shocked that it hadn’t said anything before. its given name is izrah, but it hadn’t gone by that in a longgg time because of past reasons. eventually tho db feels comfortable enough for collector to call it that and in return db decides to name collector “hector” since its never actually had a name name yknow

-collector is an absolute flirt. teases db lovingly, but its very courteous about it! gentleman type behavior honestly. the literal type to open the door and be like “after you my darling.” in contrast db does not have a way with words !! maybe on rare occasions, but his actions tend to speak louder, which collector enjoys. the difference is that db could ramble on about collector for hours but collector would say a whole poem on the spot pfff

-they are both the only ones that really get each other. not just each other’s problems, but as beings in love in a place that doesn’t accept nor understand it. ofc, they know that not everyone is interested in it, but they do know that if the realm really understood it that some would change their minds. there are likely others in secret relationships, but they shouldn’t have to be that way !!!!

okay thats a wrap. apolocheez this is massive but i hope you enjoy !!!!!

[atopearth]

Amnesia: Later Part 5 - Toma Route

Well well, Toma's big brother side of him is also basically what makes him the crazy guy that he is so it's difficult to like the former without liking the latter in a way, but yeah love how when the heroine forgot something at school and the first thing he thought of was to sneak in haha. Lmao when the heroine said she came back just for her eraser🤣 Toma and his scary story in the dark, that's so frightening🤣 It was so cute how honest the heroine was telling Toma that she wanted to be by his side and that she wanted to tell him she likes him whenever she wants and how much she cares for him hahaha, who can say no when she says that?🥲 The two of them cooking together is adorable, and I love how Toma is the pro hahaha. LMAO at the cage being the thing Toma wasted the most money on hahaha. It's very sweet of him to want to fund a trip for the three of them as a graduation gift to Shin.

I never really thought about Rika and Toma being alike but I guess it is true in a way with how dedicated and obsessed they are with the person they love but never thinking they could actually be together with them, and of course the misunderstandings and lack of communication haha. I have to agree with Toma for being so mad at seeing Rika with the heroine. I mean I generally like Rika but she was terrifying in Toma's route with how crazy they all were so I definitely don't blame Toma for getting angry at the sight of her, the heroine is way too kind. Legit died when Toma went with the heroine to another lingerie shop and met the same salesperson who dragged him in hahahaha. Although it's nice to see how devoted Toma is to the heroine and that he's reflecting on his past actions, I definitely can't blame Shin for being so disgusted and mad at Toma for doing what he did. I liked the heroine's reasons for forgiving Toma, it felt very understandable because even though the cage thing and stuff was scary, she trusted Toma, and it was true that it protected her from the escalating harassment that she was genuinely fearful of, yet she never wavered in believing in Toma's intentions, so I can see why she would forgive him. It's funny how they made up and had hotpot afterwards, I love their relationship. It made me happy to see how honest the heroine was about wanting to continue living with Toma and how she didn't want to say goodbye and go back home. I'm glad that Toma expressed his desire to marry her and be together forever even if they're still students.

Overall, Toma's route felt really short! I feel like they really could have expanded on it because it seemed like they weren't sure what to do with it and just decided that all they needed to resolve was the cage thing and then yay let's get married lol. Like yeah, they can live together but they don't really have to get married but I guess it's also understandable because Toma is a proper 'big brother' figure and he'll want to do things properly haha. I think I would have appreciated just seeing them enjoy their lives a bit more and expand outside of the childhood thing because they're more than just their childhood now.

[landhoe-norris]

I was going to just let stuff go, say "Carlos and Lando are both basically universally hated by F1 fans online but loved at the tracks," and move on. But I think there is something to say about all the shit BOTH their families are getting after this most recent race. 

It's 2023. Lando has proved his talent and worth to McLaren time and time again. He's among the best paid drivers on the grid. Yet you still have these salty ass fans carrying on on McLaren's socials about them having to prioritize him because he's a pay driver and his daddy pays McLaren's bills. Which is not only a HUGE slap in the face to all of the hard work and effort (especially in the midst of the chronic pain he's discussed) Lando has put in to the team, but also slandering the entire Norris family's character. These people are accusing his dad of paying the team to sabotage his son's teammate? Seriously? The same man who was cheering for Oscar just as loud as he was his own son? These assholes need to build a bridge and get the fuck over their baggage with Lando. They don't have to support him, but this spreading false information and even dragging his family into it is disgusting. Both he and his family know the team is the priority. They've never implied he should be favored over his teammate. (And the Oscar fans hating on Lando over team strategy decisions that Lando doesn't make himself need to get the fuck over it too. Unless these same people were screaming "sabotage" in Silverstone when Lando nearly got undercut but not only Oscar but also George had that safety car not saved McLaren's ass, then I quite literally don't want to hear how the team pitting the second car in the placements is "sabotage." Especially not when the team has routinely explained their reasonings. Shit happens. It's racing. If people can't handle that without spreading lies and conspiracy theories and blatant hatred, try a cooking competition show instead. They usually don't have to work as a team anyway – it'll be right up their alleys). 

Same thing with Carlos. They're not asking for Carlos to be favored. They're asking for equal treatment. Which frankly - given Ferrari isn't fighting for championships or wins right now, shouldn't be that difficult for them to do, yet as Sainz Sr. pointed out, Carlos isn't even sure when he's allowed to fight his teammate because there's completely different standards based upon who is in front of who. That's not being "political" anymore than Ferrari continuously giving Carlos orders to hold position when Charles is ahead, but allowing Charles to fight every time Carlos is ahead is "political." Also, as I mentioned previously, the ONLY time his family gets involved like this is when it's warranted. Contrary to popular belief, McLaren has never prioritized just Lando,  just like they didn't prioritize just Carlos when he was on the team. They prioritize who is faster — sometimes by race pace, sometimes by strategy. Point being, in McLaren, unless it's a situation where one driver is blatantly off the pace, they are generally treated equal. There was no reason for the Sainz family to go on the offense, and now look, practically everyone they encountered on the team when Carlos was here, they're still close with. The ONLY teams that seem to have a problem with the Sainz family are the teams that either don't want to give equal treatment or the other teammates' relatives were causing problems to begin with. 

In short, both their families are tremendously supportive of their sons. And when their sons are being treated fairly by their teams, they're tremendously supportive of those teams too. I don't think you can fault either one of them for defending their sons when their team doesn't treat them fairly, however. 

Okay. End rant. I've just had a laundry day and all of the stuff I have read about both of them in between loads of laundry has thoroughly pissed me off lmao.

i really needed to read this right now. sorry i was so late to post ❤️

[not-poignant]

You've been getting death threats? 😕 I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I fuxking hate antis man

Hi anon!

Thankfully not for a while now, but it does happen from time to time. I'm generally not targeted as much as some so I fly under the radar a lot, but I do filter out the majority of the hate and weirdness because I just don't see the point having it here / giving it a platform!

I hate how much damage abuse/bullying does, but I sadly can understand how people end up with fancop / anti mindsets, especially when young. It's very sort of logical to go from 'I hate pedophilia (or rape or incest)' (a normal response) to 'I hate anything that causes it (or rape or incest)' (a normal response) and then making an illogical leap to 'people who write about it in fiction deserve to die and I have a right to destroy them because they're basically as bad as the criminals because they create more criminals and are criminals themselves.'

It starts in the most logical place. And I gotta say, people love being able to hurt others under the banner of a sense of righteous anger. When you feel justified ethically, abusing others, you don't have to deal with shame or guilt in the same way as just targeting someone in highschool or college (or in the workplace). Instead you just get to profoundly dehumanise invisible folks in the internet, and feel like that's activism. That's disgusting, absolutely abhorrent, but I do understand how people get there.

I used to get a lot angrier about it on Twitter, and I still do sometimes, especially when I see the direct harm it causes our communities, when it suffocates creators (many of whom don't even want to draw or write this content, but just feel judged and starved out of fandom), or worse, destroys their lives. I'm very angry on behalf of the people who are scared to post fics or art etc. because of the antis in the fandom/s around them, because it's unfair, and it's hard to convince people to just 'post whatever you want' when it's realistic that some of those people will be abused for it.

So yeah, the hatred makes sense too. It's like...indefensible behaviour and so different to just having general NOTPs / squicks / not liking certain ships. But I do sometimes look at folks who take anti positions (especially the ones who don't realise they're doing it, because they're generally permissive of like 90% of stuff including a fair bit of problematic stuff except like One Thing they're triggered or squicked by), and think... 'You've been fearmongered into believing abusing real people is appropriate behaviour, and if you're lucky, you're one day going to have to deal with the shame and guilt that comes from knowing you've actively tried to destroy people's lives online, and have done harm to many vulnerable people in the process. That's going to be a hard journey for you, but if you make it through to the other side, you are going to feel so much better about yourself as a person, and so much less afraid of your own thoughts, and your intrusive thoughts, and it will be worth it, I promise.'

If they're unlucky, they never realise, and then we all pay the cost for someone who just lives in a state of moral panic forever :/

Anyway, for the most part I'm not really hurt by it personally because I a) have a background in university media studies and know that - scientifically speaking - antis are wrong about (nearly) everything they say, lmao, and b) can tell the difference between reality and fiction and know there's not a 1:1 correlation between the two, and c) I've experienced a lot of different kinds of abuse (sadly) and I can see most of it coming from a mile off these days and I'm not going to wear the shame and guilt people try to dump on me, because they're too juvenile or immature to process with and sit with their own discomfort that others are different to them and have different taboo fantasies to them.

Tl;dr anon - I'm doing okay! Antis do a lot of damage. I get where they're coming from but it never excuses their abuse. The hate they send doesn't really affect me these days, which might be why they started to leave me alone more sdalkjs