#the day of my daughters wedding

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

totally unserious take on a chaggie wedding XD inspired by @tiny-feisty-gay's glorious idea of carmilla giving vaggie away XD XD

Carmilla: "....."

Vaggie: (dressed to get hitched) (half way out a window)

Carmilla: "...am I interrupting?"

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine, uh- No, I was just. Gonna get some air..."

Carmilla: "Two minutes before your wedding."

Vaggie: "That's- that's why I need the air."

Carmilla: "And when you don't return from your 'air getting', what exactly would you like me to say to your heartbroken bride?"

Vaggie: ".... I..."

Carmilla: "Come along." (hooks vaggie by the arm and pulls her casually away from the window) "You can explain it all to me on the way."

Vaggie: "The way- the- the way WHERE?"

Carmilla: "To the wedding arch, where your reformed snake man is waiting to officiate your vows with the princess of hell." (lifts eyebrow) "I did you both a rather large favor by helping your fight against heaven. I am calling in that favor now, and you will allow me to walk you down the aisle."

Vaggie: "Oh no."

Carmilla: "Oh yes."

Vaggie: "Wait." (digging in her heels) (getting dragged anyway) "Wait!"

Carmilla: "Why should I."

Vaggie: "The wedding- I can't."

Carmilla: "Then face her and tell her so."

Vaggie: "That’s not what-"

Carmilla: "Did you ask her to be here today?"

Vaggie: "W-we asked each other..."

Carmilla: "So you at least owe her that much. You can say whatever you like once you reach the arch, but you should at least meet her there. Don't you think?"

Vaggie: "..."

Vaggie: "You're right." (squares shoulders) "You're right- I should. And. I've been practicing the vows for weeks. I should just. Say them."

Carmilla: "Good." (at the doors) "Ready?"

Vaggie: (breathes out) "...ready."

Carmilla: (walks them out the doors and towards the aisle)

Vaggie: "-im not ready im not ready."

Carmilla: "Too late."

Vaggie: (whisper yelling) "Turn left! Left! Left left left!"

Carmilla: "No."

Vaggie: "Miss Carmine- please-"

Carmilla: "No.” (effortless marches vaggie forward) “If you didn't want me interfering with your life then you shouldn't have come asking me for help in the first place."

Vaggie: "I ASKED? I only asked you to teach me how to kill angels!"

Carmilla: "And I only agreed to teach you when you said you were looking to protect those you love. Now I have another lesson for you."

Vaggie: "This isn't the time-"

Carmilla: "Hush. You need to kill the angel in your head."

Vaggie: "The what?"

Carmilla: "The voice screaming at your about worthiness instead of love- kill it. Kill it before it breaks the heart of the woman that you love."

Vaggie: "How can I- but it's not wrong. And it's, me."

Carmilla: "And you are the one she asked to be here. Look. She's waiting for you."

Vaggie: "Charlie..."

Vaggie: “……”

Vaggie: "....she's loves people, e-even when they don't deserve it."

Carmilla: "Your entire hotel is built on proving that a lie. Are you willing to fight for her or not?"

Vaggie: "Yes! With my life, no matter what-"

Carmilla: "Then fight for her. Fight yourself, for her, or you will be the one to hurt her."

Vaggie: "....what if I lose? What I.. if she..."

Carmilla: "You can't be ready to fight a battle if you're not ready to risk losing it. Is her happiness worth that risk to you?"

Vaggie: "More than anything."

Carmilla: (as they reach the arch) (whispering) "Then you are ready."

At the arch

Charlie: "VAGGIE!” (grinning) “H-hi!!!"

Vaggie: (smiling) (melting) "Hey, sweetie." (hesitates) "…one second?"

Charlie: "? Okay!!!!!!"

Vaggie: (turns to Carmilla) "Can I hug you."

Carmilla: "You may."

Vaggie: (hugs her stiffly) "Thank you."

Charlie: (also quickly hugging them both) “I don’t know why exactly but thank you so much too!” (backs off again) "Sorry!"

Carmilla: (smiling) (hugs vaggie back warmly) "Enough.” (pushing away) “Go, now. Fight."

Vaggie: "I will.”

Vaggie: (turning to Charlie) (taking her hands) "I always will."

Charlie: (grinning) “With me? As partners?”

Vaggie: “And for you. For as long as you want, and longer. You’ve-” (voice breaks) “… you’ve been stuck with me for while already, Charlie Morningstar.”

Charlie: (tearing up) “So’ve you. And I will too. Um.” (blinking hard) “Vaggie… Morningstar?”

Vaggie: (choked laugh) “Getting ahead of the ceremony, babe, but yeah. Almost.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (sniffling) (Smiling) “Then- oh, thanks Razzle. Uh.” (at vaggie) “Gimme one sec?”

Vaggie: “Take as many as you want, it’s our ceremony after all.”

Charlie: “R-right.” (quickly dabs at eyes with handkerchief Razzle gave her before handing it back) “Then, um, that’s enough ceremony for me, to be honest. You’re enough- you’re all I wanted out of this whole wedding thing anyway, Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “…yeah?”

Charlie: “Yes.”

Vaggie: “Same. I- yeah… you..” (clears throat) “Same here.”

Charlie: “Yeah..?”

Vaggie: “Yes.”

Sir Pentious: “Awwwww.”

Sir Pentious: “…..ah.”

Sir Pentious: (shuffling note cards) “Ah, ahhh… errhm… wasss that, in the vowsss?”

Charlie: (giggling) “Well it is now~”

Vaggie: “Whoops.”

Sir Pentious: “Ah, my apologiessss !” (shuffling frantically) “I- I musssst have missssed, the update- ah, errr-”

Charlie: (laughing) “You didn’t miss anything, Pen, don’t worry!”

Vaggie: “Go ahead Pentious.” (squeezes Charlie’s hands) “We’re ready.”

Charlie: “Heh.” (squeezes back) “We.” (still kinda crying)

Sir Pentious: “Oh yess! Hmmm.”

Sir Pentious: (stares at disorganized notes)

Sir Pentious: “Dearly damned and other demons, sinners, winners, whatevers! We are gathered here today to…! To….” (flips card) “…to kiss- the, ah… brides?”

Angel Dust: “What, kiss them? ALL of us assholes? That’ll take a bit.” (ginning) “Hold onto ya lips, toots!”

Husk: “Pass.”

Alastor: “I must most strenuously decline, ha ha~!”

Niffty: “KISS THE BRIDES! KISS THE BRIDES!” (giggling)“Your death swift would be SWIFT and BRUTAL! And go GREAT with the decorations!”

Cherri: (cackling) (hollering) “You better not, Penny, you’d better not!”

Sir Pentious: “N-NO CHERRI I SSSSWEAR I WOULD NEVER-!”

Sir Pentious: “Oh… ah…”

Sir Pentius: “…they sssseem to be preoccupied with each other, in any case… erm.”

Sir Pentious: “Congratulassshtionsss?”

Charggie: (thumbs up) (still kinda kissing) (still kinda laughing and crying too)

meanwhile

Lucifer in the background: (HOWLING TEARS OF JOY INTO HIS HAT)

Ozzie: (same situation but with Fizzie instead of a hat)

Carmilla: (stiffly but sympathetically patting them both on the head)

Clara & Odette: (waving a pair of lesbian and bisexual flags & holding up a 10/10 score card respectively)

Clara: “…”

Clara: “…what about the rings?”

KeeKee: (walks over) (WRETCHES) (licks paw) (walks off)

Clara & Odette: (stare blankly)

Clara: “…… did the demon cat just cough up their wedding bands.”

Odette: “Apparently.”

Clara: “Aww. That’s really gross.”

Odette: “Don’t be homophobic at the gay wedding, Clara.”

Clara: “I’d never be homophobic at OUR sister’s marriage, Oddy.” (elbows her) “You know what this means?”

Odette: “Finally you are not my default favorite sister. I have to actively choose you, and the privilege can be revoked.”

Clara: “And mom can’t guilt us about wanting to walk a daughter down the aisle anymore.”

Odette: “….”

Odettte: (revises her score cards to say 100/10 instead)

[all-yourn]

destiel & "romeo's daddy" by ethel cain [on youtube]

[natsmagi]

the world doesnt even know how much hinata means to me.

[pseudowho]

i see your flat english pancakes and raise you fluffy japanese pancakes. come onnn there’s clearly a winner here and it’s not the pseudo-crepe

That is not a pancake, it's a fucking marshmallow.

Next.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[leonardalphachurch]

putting up some decorations for all the ppl coming back to the rvb fandom

[selemina]

They’re comparing notes :3

Some strange things in those inquisitorial ships eh?

NBVLQUVMIKVGMreuhvloghmriGRIFHMUHM!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!! HOW DARE YOU USE MY OWN WEAPONS AGAINST ME IN MY OWN HOME!!

MY BOY!!! ;u; My boy has a friend!! I love the way you draw him, he's so different and so cool!! BUUUUUUH THANK YOUUUU!!

[theloveinc]

Lmaooo bdhdkdjdkf your daughter inviting her boy/girlfriend over for dinner on a night when Bakugo is supposed to be working late… except instead, he gets home early

[rose-n-gunses]

Thinking about Chrissy who finally gets out of her parents' house and goes off to college but didn't realize how much she would miss her brother when she did.

He's the only other person who knows what it's like to be in that house and he's always been her ride or die. They played together when they were little and he stuck by her when she broke up with Jason and lost all of her "friends" and always wanted to hang out with her when nobody else would. He always looked up to her and made sure she knew she was worth it and loved and as he got bigger he'd stand up for her to anyone who gave her trouble.

She lets him come stay with her at school sometimes and she drives him around the city and they hang out like they used to because even though she's got good friends now he's still her baby brother and her best friend and she loves him

[gayabeilles]

me giving cooking advice: always go by the recipe the first time you make something so you have a control. you can always change things next time but it’s important to have a baseline.

me trying a new recipe: so I’m actually gonna put four five cloves of garlic, add a serrano pepper (they don’t even call for anything Spicy?????), and I’ve got this shallot that’ll go bad soon so I’ll throw that in too, plus there’s those scapes from last weekend I should try to use up,

[hadesoftheladies]

hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

[despazito]

It shouldn't be this hard to enable women on the women enabling site

[columboscreens]

[coquelicoq]

taking a shower. taking a shower. about to take a shower. i am going to take so much of this shower. this shower is getting took. taking the fuck out of this shower just as soon as i can get myself to stand up go into the room where the shower is turn on the water open the window put the fan in the window take out my braid brush out my hair put a smaller hairtie on my wrist take off my clothes take off my glasses tilt down the showerhead pull up the thingy that makes the water come out of the showerhead step into the shower tilt the showerhead back up oh shit i forgot the washcloth tilt the showerhead to the side run dripping to my room get a washcloth run back to the bathroom almost slip on the linoleum step back into the shower tilt the showerhead back to the front. but after that we are on.

[linseymiller]

tumblr, a sneak peak at one of the romances in That Devil, Ambition for you on this the first day of pride

[cuntstable]

rereading the asoiaf books and i cant believe i forgot how good catelyn is as a character. my queen……

[daniclaytcn]

your tags about chim and tommy at the wedding took me out lol i know tommy had to say something so the soot gag would work but it is so funny in context. like it would actually be less weird for buck to have invited someone they don't know at all as a plus one than someone who has known chimney for 20 years and did not get an invite. if i were tommy i'd have been too embarrassed to go in case they thought i was being passive aggressive about not getting an invite lol

i think i'm just too indian for this conversation because personally i would have taken deep offense and probably would have never spoken to chim again. lmao.