#the croquet dude

[eden-has-rotted]

i'm not okay mv heathers au when

[harunayuuka2060]

Queen of Hearts: I shall attend the party with my entire court, and there is nothing you can do to change my mind! Off with anyone who tries!

MC: Your Majesty, no. You lost the game of croquet.

MC: It should be just you and His Majesty, the King.

King of Hearts: Th-That's right, sweetheart! Y-You promised it would be a date!

Queen of Hearts: ...

Queen of Hearts: Did I?

MC: Yes, Your Majesty. Even if you are a tyrant, I'm sure you would never break your husband's heart.

Queen of Hearts: Who are you calling a 'tyrant'-

MC: Your Majesty, please. Consider.

Queen of Hearts: ...

Ace: Bruh, Riddle asked me to hide.

MC: Yeah... I mean, the Queen of Hearts doesn't joke around with her punishment.

Ace: But we're taking preventive measures, no?

MC: ...

Ace: Come on! I'll be good!

MC: Dude, why are you trying to convince me? Talk to Riddle.

Hades: Yeah… I’m kinda tied up that day. And frankly, I don’t think I’ll be in the mood for all those jolly faces.

MC: Uh... Your followers are literally bunches of socially awkward introverts.

Hades: ...

Hades: What?

MC: I promise you'll enjoy being in Ignihyde. You can play games and meet your descendant!

Hades: Descendant? Ha! Do I look like the kind of guy anyone would want to get involved with? This face? This place?

MC: *frowns* Sir, mortals worship you for being a loyal husband.

Hades: And who’s insane enough to marry me?

MC: ...

MC: Your wife.

Hades: ...

Azul: *laughs*

Idia: ...

Idia: Is it just me or you like beefing with the God of the Underworld?

MC: He's fun to talk with.

MC: Oh, and never tell him who his future wife is.

Idia: ...

Azul: Ah, I can't wait to meet them.

[were-wolverine]

batfam as new girl quotes

steph: where are you, tim? this place is fancy and i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.

***

dick (16 y/o): i’ll take you through the whole thing. i’ll be like your guide.

jason (13 y/o): like gandalf through middle-earth?

dick: ok, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.

jason: except smeagol. he lives in a cave.

***

tim: you text me “happy monday.” what am i supposed to do with that?

damian: oh, i don’t know. maybe have a happy monday?

(he’s trying to be nice)

***

jason: would you consider us adorable?

dick: no! we’re adult men.

dick: we’re cute.

***

cass: you always see the worst in people.

damian: yeah, because people are the worst!

***

steph: i mean, bruce, we love you, but…

steph: but you’re not a man of the people.

bruce: of course i’m not a man of the people. i’m above the people.

***

cass: we’re a family. families talk about things.

jason: no, families ignore things until they go away.

***

new parent bruce: dick, do you want to go to sleep?

9 y/o dick: no way.

bruce: if you do, i’ll write you a check for $6,000.

***

duke: what are you doing in here?

tim: eating cookies and avoiding confrontation.

(in the bathroom at a gala)

***

steph: jason, come on, that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.

jason: they’re not best friends.

steph: come on. everybody knows they’re best friends.

***

dick: i’m in love!

damian: titus, clear my schedule. i need a word with our brother.

***

steph: duke, those shoes are not brown! they’re green!

duke: you guys are idiots! they’re as brown as money.

cass: what color is kermit the frog?

duke: brown! he’s a brown frog.

tim: duke! you’re color blind, dude.

***

bruce: darn it! has anyone seen my croquet cleats?

***

tim: hey guys, do you think i’m a good person?

steph: you’re a terrible person. it’s hilarious.

***

dick: i’m very quick on my… uh…

jason: did you just forget the word ‘feet’?

dick: feet, yeah.

(he’s been awake for 72 hours without sleep)

***

duke: i can’t believe i didn’t notice this before but damian, you are legitimately crazy.

damian: i think we’re all a little bit crazy, don’t you, thomas?

duke: no, i mean, you’re like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, professional magician crazy.

damian: it’s my grandfather’s fault.

duke: yeah okay fair enough

***

tim: if i was doing something stupid, you definitely would be involved.

dick: yeah, you’re damn right i would be. and i would probably be there to make it even stupider.

***

bruce: has anyone seen my good pea coat?

***

steph: i brake for birds. i rock a lot of polka dots. i have touched glitter in the last 24 hours!

steph: and that doesn’t mean i’m not smart and tough and strong.

***

jason: are you insane, bruce? we’re not ready.

jason: that’s like taking a musical from rehearsals straight to broadway. you got to workshop it first.

(pushing the theatre kid jason agenda)

***

dick: you realize i say goodnight to you every night and you never say goodnight back?

dick: what is the problem, jason? do you not want me to have a good night?

jason: oh my god you’re so overdramatic

***

tim: please don’t mistake my measured blank tone for calmness, as i am filled with waters of rage.

(he’s at a gala)

***

bruce: damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!

***

duke: what a dumb idea.

duke: do it.

(he is an enabler)

[kikithefox231]

I KNOW!!!!! bro its so bad o(-( im already learning to croquet bee its over for me So glad u enjoy the bee Bee (gun) I spent 5 HARD, LONG, EXHAUSTING minutes on it :))) cannot believe your paper is bestieblocking me rn 😔😔😔 smh head gonna go sob in the corner 😔😔😔😔😔😔 THE BESTIES 5EVER!!!!! AND 6EVER!!!!!! <333 BROOOO ;;;;; AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU'RE SO SWEET THANK YOUUUU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH <33333 (also incredibly correct u are always right 😔 I couldn't argue with u if I tried😔 L moment for Kiki 😔) LOVE YOU THREE!!!!!! <333

💛🌼 SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING 🌼💛

———

Just a side note, I don’t usually do chain mail stuff bc it can feel ingenuine but LIKE. YOU’RE MY BEST BESTIE. PARTNER IN CRINGE. IF YOU FLEW INTO THE SUN ID ALSO FLY INTO THE SUN. (I’d ask u to reconsider but I’d support your decision <333)

If I didn’t take this as a chance to let you know that you are amazing and wonderful and literally the coolest then WHO AM I??? THE UNIVERSE WOULD BE OFF BALANCE.

Anyways love u bestie <333 thank you for a solid 7 years of friendship <333

Anyways here’s you but as a bee

7 YEARS????? we’re too old kiki. soon we will be old and wrinkly sitting on a porch at sunrise knitting each other scarves and reminiscing on the good old days when we were mutuals on tumblr dot com.

i appreciate the (extremely cursed) bee bee. i would draw u something back but (as u know) i am in the middle of attempting to decipher an extremely obtuse neuroscience paper from the 1950s so i will unfortunately have to get back to u on that one.

anyway ofc uno reverse card bestie. bee and kikicat r best besties 5ever. pinkie swear no take-backsies. & fr fr u are also super cool & wonderful & its true!!!!! do not argue w me bc it’s true!!! >:000!!!! i’m always right kiki is amazing Change My Mind >:000000

love you too <3 <3 <3 <3

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Cater Diamond - Dorm Uniform Vignette

"Say cheese ☆"

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]

Cater: Hey, all you Heartslabyul second and third years～! Come gather in front of Trey-kun～!!

Heartslabyul Student C: Yes, sir! All second years are present and accounted for.

Heartslabyul Student D: All third years are already here.

Trey: I'm sure you're all aware, but an Unbirthday Party will be upon us soon.

Heartslabyul Student A: Yay! An Unbirthday Party!

Heartslabyul Student B: There'll be the sweetest cake and the finest tea. And the croquet tournament!

Cater: Hey now, everyone simmer down～! Pay attention to Trey-kun!

Trey: Even though the adherence to the Queen of Hearts' laws have somewhat relaxed ever since that "incident"…

Trey: The Unbirthday Party is an important tradition to us here in Heartslabyul.

Cater: Let's make sure to prep everything good ahead of time so that we can all be happy and enjoy the party the day of.

Cater: If for some reason we throw a shoddy party…

Cater: Riddle-kun'll have all our heads～☆

Trey: Haha, so that's about the gist of it. Let's work together to get this Unbirthday Party underway.

Heartslabyul Students: Yes, sir, Vice Dorm Leader!

Cater: Mmkay, then I'll explain how the roles are divvied up.

Cater: All the firsties'll be doing the traditional "painting of the roses."

Cater: And you'll fix up the playing field and equipment to get ready for the traditional sport of croquet.

Trey: You second and third years we'll split into three groups. Team Trey will be making the food with me.

Trey: Since the Dorm Leader is pretty particular about how it all tastes, especially the cake, I chose the members of this team.

Cater: And Team Cater'll be setting up the tea venue with me.

Cater: Let's make sure the table setting'll be cute and photogenic, chaotic and edgy.

Trey: And finally, Team Riddle will be in charge of the overall budget and scheduling.

Cater: Though technically Trey-kun and me're both part of Team Riddle, too… Man.

Trey: Alright, let's all split off into our groups and begin our tasks.

Cater: 'Kay, everyone, lezgo～☆

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

Cater: So, tomorrow's the Unbirthday party.

Cater: Let's all start setting up for it!

Heartslabyul Student A: Diamond-senpai, I brought the cutlery set, including all the knives and forks, from storage.

Cater: Thankies～ Let's snap a pic of all you hard-working second years! Say cheese ☆

[snap!]

Cater: And then gotta upload it to Magicam right away!

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Silverware #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansBusyDay

Heartslabyul Student A: Uh… Wouldn't it be better to upload the pictures at the actual event…?

Heartslabyul Student B: Diamond-senpai, I brought the tea set.

Cater: Nice!! In that box we got a real authentic spout-less teapot.

[snap!]

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #ChaoticTeaSet #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansItsSomeonesBirthday

Heartslabyul Student C: Cater-senpai, I've finished washing the tablecloths. I'm ironing them now!

Cater: Good job! How many of those cloths did we have all together, again?

[snap!]

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Tablecloth #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansHappyBirthdayWhoeverItIs

Heartslabyul Student A: …Hey, is Cater-senpai always like that? It's not that he's just a cheerful dude?

Heartslabyul Student B: Seriously, he hasn't even done any work, has he?

Heartslabyul Student C: Yeah. We gotta carry all the heavy stuff, and he's just playing on his phone...

Riddle: You lot. How are the preparations for the party faring?

Heartslabyul Student A: Ah, Rosehearts-ryōchō!

Heartslabyul Student B: Have you come to check in on our team?

Heartslabyul Student C: Well… It's kind of hard to say, but… Please take a look at what Cater-senpai is doing.

[snap!]

Cater: Maaarvellous!!

[snap!]

Cater: Exxxcellent!!

Heartslabyul Student A: We're supposed to be getting ready for the party, but it seems like he's already started. Is that really alright?

Riddle: Rrrghh…

[Riddle stomps over]

Riddle: Cater!!

Cater: Riddle-kun…!?

Heartslabyul Student A: (Hehe… He's gonna get in trouble.)

Riddle: Cater, how is the venue setup faring?

Cater: Did you come to check up on us? That's so nice of you!! I gotta snap a pic with the oh-so-kind Dorm Leader.

[snap!]

Heartslabyul Student B: (Ehhhhhhh!!)

Heartslabyul Student C: (Cater-senpai, that's way too bold…!!)

Riddle: The placement of everything for the tea party is crucial. I've trusted you with this, so make sure to be absolutely thorough.

Riddle: Now, then… I shall go and see how Trey's group is getting along.

Cater: Okaaay. Say hi to Trey-kun for me ☆

Heartslabyul Student A: The Dorm Leader just… let that slacker off the hook… Why wasn't it off with his head?

Heartslabyul Student B: Tch, so even that strict Riddle-ryōchō gives favors to his friends.

Heartslabyul Student C: Uggh～ Makes me not wanna do anything～ It'd be great if this whole tea party play pretend thing went up in smoke…

Cater: Oh hey, that box you just brought over has the jam jar. That's super essential!

[snap!]

Cater: 'Kay, everyone. Let's keep it going and make this the best Unbirthday Party ever!

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

―Day of the Unbirthday Party

Cater: Kaay, all the prep's complete.

Cater: Let's get this Unbirthday Party started!!!

Everyone: Hooray!!!!!

Deuce: Whew～ I finished eating my portion. Finally, I can dig into Clover-senpai's homemade cake.

Ace: Deuce, you sure have a big appetite. I'm already stuffed from having to eat all the first years' failed cakes.

Cater: Heeey! All you first years, you hyped up or what?

Deuce/Ace: Diamond-senpai. / Cater-senpai.

Cater: Ace-chan, is it your birthday today?

Ace: Me? No, my birthday's 9/23.

Cater: Oh, then maybe it's Deuce-chan's?

Deuce: Me? No, mine is 6/3.

Cater: And my birthday is 2/4. That's not day. That means～

Cater: A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Ace: Ahh… Uhhh… Yeah, Happy Unbirthday…

Deuce: I-I really can't keep up with this energy. I have to raise my spirits some more, I guess.

Cater: Hey, c'mon, you guys gotta get more hyped～

Cater: I came all the way here to give thanks to the two guys who worked so hard behind the scenes to get this party going.

Cater: A ton of issues went down before the party got started, didn't it?

Ace: There was the incident with the hedgehogs we use for the croquet tournament escaping.

Deuce: And the flamingos ran away too.

Cater: On top of that there was also the incident with you first years snatching the cake making job from Trey-kun.

Cater: Which in turn brought about Riddle going berserk over the grotesque cake you all made.

Deuce: The cake incident was all Ace's fault.

Ace: Don't put it all on me. I was just trying to see if there were other options for the cake, is all.

Cater: Uh-huh. Let's just go over all the troubles that went on today with Trey-kun tonight…

Cater: And for now, just enjoy this tea party that we all put together!

Deuce/Ace: Sure.

Deuce: But yeah, anyway, this party really has a ton of weird rules.

Ace: Like, when I tried to pour some tea from the pot sitting in front of me, there was a dormouse inside…

Cater: Shhh. Part of the etiquette is to make sure the dormouse is sleeping.

Deuce: My teacup has a huge hole in the bottom of it.

???: Then you should just stack a bunch of cups and drink out of that～

Chenya: Who says the large one has to be the pot and the small one has to be the cup, anyway?

Ace: Ack! There's a head floating in the air! Wait, you're…

Deuce: Ch'nya! Is someone not from Heartslabyul allowed to be in here?

Cater: Heya, Chenyan! Those pants are the bee's knees, as always!

Chenya: I don't really like bees. If I'm gonna eat somethin', I'd rather it be a mouse～

Dormouse: !!!!???? Chu chu～～～～～☆○×△□! [Cat!]

Cater: Oh shoot! Chenyan woke up the dormouse in the pot.

Ace: Ack! Hey! Stop jumping all over the table! Come onnn, you're messing everything up!

Deuce: Uhh, was one of the Unbirthday Party rules that we have to spread jam on the dormouse's nose if it wakes up!?

Cater: We can do the jam later, but for now, we need to catch that dormouse～～～～!!

Chenya: I might be cat-like, but I'm still human. Obviously, I wouldn't eat a dormouse.

Chenya: That's why, as soon as I grab a bite of the cake Trey made, I'm gonna split～

Chenya: Dum dee dum～～～ ♪

Riddle: Well now, it's almost time. Go on, Vice Dorm Leader.

Cater: Everyone～ Eyes on Trey-kun!

Trey: With this, the Unbirthday party has come to a close!

Trey: Now that it's ended, it's time to clean up. Let's try to finish it up before the day ends.

Cater: First years'll clean the croquet field and throw away all the trash.

Cater: Second and third years'll wash all the dishes and take down the tea party venue decorations.

Riddle: We will continue to follow the Queen of Hearts' laws while cleaning up as well.

Riddle: The tea sets and croquet equipment in particular have a specific box and order they should be put away.

Riddle: Make absolute sure that you follow the rules to the letter! Understood?

Everyone: Yes, sir, Dorm Leader!!

Trey: Team Trey has finished washing the dishes and cutlery. We're handing it over here to Team Cater for proper storage.

Cater: Thankies, Trey-kun.

Cater: Alright, all you Team Cater folk～ Time to put it all away according to the rules ♡

Heartslabyul Student A: Cater-senpai, we have a problem! I can't find the memo on how to store the tea sets.

Heartslabyul Student B: Without it, we won't know which dish should go in which box…

Heartslabyul Student C: And now we don't even know if we have the right number of cutlery or linens, either…

Riddle: What did you say!? You may have lost some of Heartslabyul's most time-honored utensils…? Hrrrnnngh...

Heartslabyul Student B: Our sincerest apologies, Dorm Leader, this is completely our fault.

Heartslabyul Student C: But… Cater-senpai was in charge, and all he did was play around the whole prep time.

Deuce: Those guys…

Ace: Ugh, they're trying to shove all their own mistakes onto someone else.

Heartslabyul Student A: Cater-senpai, did you even do your duty properly?

Heartslabyul Student B: Cater-senpai, answer us!!

Heartslabyul Student C: Come on, say something!

Cater: …

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Tea Garden]

Heartslabyul Student A: This was our Unbirthday Party. And who was the one completely neglecting the proper management of all the tableware…?

Heartslabyul Student B: That was all your responsibility, Cater-senpai.

Cater: …

Cater: …You're right.

Heartslabyul Student C: Eh!?

Cater: That's my bad. Sorry to all my Team Cater folks too.

Cater: It was supposed to be celebration. That's why I wanted us to have fun without just ordering everyone around.

Cater: Guess I'm not really cut out to be a team leader. I really am sorry.

Ace: Cater-senpai…

Deuce: …

Cater: So I guess that was Cay-kun failing to follow through. So let's take a pic of this sad, sad moment!

[snap!]

Heartslabyul Students: HUUUUUUH～～～～～!?

Heartslabyul Student A: Are you seriously taking a selfie in this tense atmosphere!?

Heartslabyul Student B: And you're posting it online already!?

Deuce: Nothing can get through to him… He's way too far gone into his phone addiction…

Cater: I've uploaded my sincere feelings towards everyone to Magicam, so make sure to check it out ☆

Heartslabyul Student A: Rosehearts-ryōchō, isn't this a blatant violation of the Queen of Hearts' Laws!?

Heartslabyul Student B: Shouldn't it be off with Diamond-senpai's head already?

Riddle: …

Ace: Huh? Wait a moment.

Deuce: What's up, Ace?

Ace: Woah, check out Cater-senpai's Magicam!!

Deuce: Huh!? What's with you now? Is this dorm just filled with oddballs or something?

Ace: Listen to what I gotta say, first. Look at Cater-senpai's Magicam…

Ace: He's kept a complete record of all the preparations that went down for the party!!

Deuce: Eh? Like, not just stuff during the party, but the set-up portion too?

Deuce: Let me look through his account…

Cater: It's only a tea party until we have to clean up (>д<;) #NRC #Silverware #ChaoticTeaSet #Tablecloth

Ace: Click on the tags that start with that # sign.

Deuce: What tags? He basically has a # in front of every word.

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Silverware #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansBusyDay

Deuce: Pictures of all the silverware being set up showed up!

Ace: And it's not just the cutlery.

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #ChaoticTeaSet #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansItsSomeonesBirthday

Cater: #DayBeforeUnbirthdayParty #Tablecloth #NRC #DayBeforeUnbirthdayMeansHappyBirthdayWhoeverItIs

Deuce: There's so many pictures on here, all ordered by the type of dish, from unboxing to the set up.

Ace: If we scroll through this account, I think we'll be able to check the type and number of utensils we have, as well as how it should be stored, yeah?

Cater: Ace-chan, that's a nice idea! You're my savior～☆

Cater: Hey, Heartslabyul!!

Heartslabyul Students: Yeaaah?

Cater: Can you all give me a hand?

Cater: Using your boy Cay-kun's account, confirm the amount and proper boxes of each cup and pot! Please!!

Deuce: Roger!

Ace: Now it's like a treasure hunt, this is getting kinda fun.

Heartslabyul Student A: Tch… Lucky break, Cater-senpai…

Ace: Cater-senpai, I've sorted through every silverware and paired them with the proper storage box.

Deuce: Diamond-senpai, I've finished sorting through the strange teapots as well.

Cater: Thank you, everyone～!

Cater: So all that's left is to put each thing in their proper case and we'll be done.

Cater: Now, leave everything else to me!

Cater: I'll use the Autonomous magic I just learned, and…

Cater: Here we go!

Ace: Woah! The cups and saucers started flying around!!

Deuce: And in a perfect line, too!!

Cater: All you little tableware, thanks for your hard work during our Unbirthday Party!

Cater: Time for you to go back home and have a good long rest.

Trey: Haha… That Cater. Practical magic used to be his weaker area.

Trey: He only shows his true strength when it's something that'll make his life a bit easier, huh.

Riddle: Seriously. He's a shrewd one.

Ace: Hey, hey, Dorm Leader, don't forget that I came in clutch to save Cater-senpai here.

Riddle: Uh-huh. Oh, Ace, how quickly you let yourself get carried away.

Ace: Eh? Like, not just stuff during the party, but the set-up portion too?

Trey: I'm pretty sure Cater had planned to upload everything to Magicam and make a list of all the utensils from the very beginning.

Riddle: He was able to take advantage of the situation and put to good use everyone else not in his group, as well.

Trey: And that's not all. Look at Cater's follower count.

Ace: Ah! It's gone up by more than 100 people! Must be because he got the rest of the dormmates not in his grade to follow him at once…

Deuce: Looks like he got you, Ace.

Trey: Hahah. He really is a shrewd one, yeah…

Cater: Oh hey, Ace-chaaaaan.

Cater: Take a picture for me of my magic in full swing! I want to upload it to Magicam later.

Cater: I'm gonna pump out some more magic. Here we go!

Requested by Anonymous.

[fireworkss-exe]

I won a croquet game and got called a sigma by the same dudes who called me cuh and discussed tyler the creator and american psycho with me last week

[izzieg3987]

Riddle: So, again your alibi is a mysterious stranger came into our dorm broke the vase with a croquet mallet and then put it in your hand?

Ace: Well, yeah, if you say it like that, it don't sound believable.

Riddle: Oh hey, Percy! Did you get my memo about the culture fair?

Percy: Yes, I looked it over. Nice work.

Riddle: Good. Thanks, mom.

(Everyone froze and looks at Riddle)

Riddle: Why is everyone staring at me?

Cater: You just called Housewarden Remmington "mom". You said, "thanks, mom".

Riddle: What? No, I didn't. I said, "thanks, Percy".

Percy: Do you see me as a mother figure, Riddle?

Riddle: *blushing* No. If anything, I see you as a "smother" figure, cause you're always smothering me about sunscreen.

Trey: Hey, show your mother some respect.

Riddle: I didn't call her mom.

Percy: No, no, no, no, Riddle. I take it as a compliment.

Deuce: It’s not a big deal, I called Coach Vargas "dad" once, and he's our teacher.

Riddle: Guys, jump on that! Deuce has father issues.

Grim: Old news. But you calling my henchwoman "mommy"

Riddle: Hey, "mommy" is not on the table here.

Ace: But you did call her "mom", dude.

Riddle: You shut up. You've done nothing but lie since you got here.

Ace: Alright, alright, I was lying about the vase, but the mom thing, that happened.

Riddle: Aha! He admitted that he broke the vase with a croquet mallet. It was a trap, all part of my plan to make him confess.

Percy: I believe you.

Riddle: Thank you.

Percy: Son. Do you wanna talk about it later over a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies and a glass of hot Moo moo milk?

Riddle: *pouting and blushing even more furiously* I'd like that.

The lines between big sister and mother figure do be getting blurry for Riddle every now and then.

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (Yes, all of it) – October 1953

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

Oct 4, 1953

God damn, the Sunday comics are looking really good lately. Those birds look like they're almost carved from wood.

Oct 7, 1953

Starting to think that Lucy might not be the problem here.

Oct 9, 1953

Oh shit! Do you see that!? Technically he succeeded in kicking the football!

Oct 11, 1953

The more I reread this one the more stuff I want to talk about. Let's take this to the Thoughts section, shall we?

Oct 12, 1953

A genocide.

Oct 25, 1953

I love that Charlie Brown didn't bother with a costume but he did go out of his way to steal a shopping cart from his local grocery store. No idea what you'd call that but I respect it.

Oct 28, 1953

This is like, the dog version of blackface isn't it?

Thoughts:

Hi! Glad you could make it. So yeah, a whole lot of stuff stood out to me on this one:

The art looks really good both in terms of panel composition, light/dark contrast, and creating a convincing sense of space with relatively few elements. Schulz really nailed it with this one.

So. Many. Background gags.

LMAO at Patty not giving a damn about Charlie Brown and his insecure bullshit.

Double LMAO at Schroeder being an agro little dipshit to everybody despite playing terribly.

This Sunday strip actually has a title for some reason (“The Croquet Game”). I don't think it's something the strip has done before and I'm not sure if it ever happens again.

~Googles Ben Hogan~ Sure, if you say so little dude.

The structure of this one is really different. It feels more like a part of a longer comic than a traditional Sunday strip. It makes me wonder if Schulz was experimenting with longer form stories.

This is actually a pretty good little scene. I could easily see this being expanded on into a full comic book. It's kind of sad that Schulz didn't really try to do longer-form stories very often because I think he'd have been pretty good at them with some practice.

KLUNK!

Fantastic strip. Possibly my favorite so far.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: The Giggle Review- A Whole Glorious Hour of Literally Perfect Television

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

In my previous two Who reviews, I argued that- regardless of the increasing quality of the show- cancellation would still, ultimately, be a kindness. I said this as a fan, because I was aware that the world Doctor Who was built for and the world we presently have are so wildly different that, ultimately, the off-kilter, quintessentially British spirit of the show would have to be traded away to maintain long-term viability. In the wake of The Giggle, I find myself forced to reevaluate this opinion. You see, The Giggle isn’t just a really, really good piece of television- it’s also a blueprint for the series going forward. In this story, showrunner and script-writer Russel T. Davies seems to have hit on a new-but-familiar identity for Doctor Who that can continue to work in the modern world without sacrificing the elements that made it good to begin with.

It would be hard to overstate how fucking great this episode is. Let me see if I can put it into words. I was fourteen years old when Doctor Who came back from its decades-long hiatus and reappeared on the BBC, fronted by the inimitable Christopher Ecclestone. I used to watch those early episodes perched, very literally, on the edge of my seat, my legs trembling involuntarily, ready to run- as though if I sprinted fast enough, I could catch up to the Doctor and enter that world of wild, uncontrolled imagination; that infinity of time and space. That feeling continued throughout David Tennant’s first run as the Doctor, but eventually began to decay. I chalked this down to getting older. After all, nobody watches anything at 20 or 30 the way they watched it when they were 14. I just had to accept that the ageing process had robbed me of my ability to uncritically enjoy something that had meant so much to me in my formative years. And then The Giggle happened, and suddenly I’m 14 again, glued to my chair and grinning like an idiot.

It’s not that The Giggle turned off my critical and analytical faculties by appealing to the nostalgia centres of my brain. It’s too fresh and inventive to pull that cheap trick. Rather, it’s that it’s so joyous and energising that it taps directly into the same part of my psyche that the early episodes did in 2005 while also being so well thought-through and meticulously realised that my capacity for analysis and critique enhanced rather than marred my enjoyment. In my review for Wild Blue Yonder, I commented that it’s harder for TV episodes with a lot of superfluous ideas, characters and concepts to juggle them all successfully- almost like there’s only so much quality to go around and it gets spread too thin. This makes The Giggle particularly impressive. There’s a ton of stuff going on here, but it’s all handled with equal panache and genuine verve. The Giggle makes the juggling of elements feel completely effortless. Spoilers ahead, but I think it’s important to list, out of context, some of the things that happen in The Giggle that left me bewildered, gobsmacked and delighted all at once. And yes, I laughed out loud at many of these, braying like a complete fucking cretin from the sheer, infectious joie de vive of it.

Rhyming murder puppets.

A shop folds itself into a toy-box just to mess with the Doctor and Donna.

The Celestial Toymaker interrupts the plot to deliver a full-on, showstopping musical number.

“It’s alright. I’ve given the moles a force-field.”

A sexy black alien with no trousers whacks a time machine with a croquet mallet so hard that gives birth to another time machine in a slightly different shade of blue.

Grandma’s Footsteps with a motherfucking death-laser.

The fate of the world is resolved with a game of catch.

“I love you. Get out.”

Two chill dudes set fire to a dummy in order to invent television. All the more hilarious because this isn’t a ‘Doctor Who Thing’- this actually happened.

Neil Patrick Harris’ cardistry is on fleek, and- as a magician- I appreciate that.

Oh Sweet Baby Cthulhu the accents! The accents!

Donna Noble has the balls.

You know, I could probably go on, but I won’t. I think that’s honestly enough to be getting on with, and this review does kinda need to end eventually. The point I’m trying to make is that there’s a tremendous amount of silliness and cleverness and inventiveness on display here and it all feels very Doctor Who-y.

Now, if I were a proper reviewer, I’d deal with the meat and potatoes of making a TV show. But honestly, what can I say that isn’t blindingly obvious? Of course David Tennant and Catherine Tate’s acting is spectacular- they’re good actors. Of course the rest of their cast pull their weight- most of them are old hands. Of course the script is well-crafted- I’ve already praised it. Of course the special effects are excellent- this isn’t the bloody Star Beast (hey! I think I just worked out where all that Disney money went!). Basically, everything is well-assembled and you could have figured that out for yourself because I wouldn’t be praising the episode at all otherwise. I will say that Neil Patrick Harris’ Celestial Toymaker is one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen. The dude’s having so much fun it’s infectious. I don’t mean to suggest he’s the best actor in the world or anything quite so grand- I just mean that he’s ideally fitted for the role and it’s a treat to see. Other than that, I think we can forgo the painfully obvious gushing over the acting.

It’s probably more relevant to discuss whether The Giggle does the job it sets out to do. And, frankly, it sets out to do a lot of jobs. Its a send-off for David Tennant’s take on the Doctor, an introduction to Ncuti Gatwa’s take, a long-overdue attempt to mend the bridges fucking Chibnall burned during his time as showrunner, a showcase for everything that’s good about Doctor Who, an attempt to expand the Whoniverse in lasting, meaningful ways and an attempt to establish a new identity for the programme that cleaves to the original without depending on it. I mean, that’s a fuck-load of stuff, so it would kind of be unfair to demand that it pulls it all off. Well, the good news is that I don’t have to demand shit, because it just does. Like, completely fucking unprompted. I didn’t have to yell or whack its knuckles with a ruler or anything.

As a send-off for Tenant, it works by… well, by not being a send-off. Russel T. Davies is a gay man whose formative years were the eighties, with the AIDs crisis running rampant and disproportionately effecting his community and demographic. In the early 2000s, when he had to write and manage Tenant’s first run, he still hadn’t entirely come to terms with that (or so the speculation goes), which is why the Doctor’s regeneration from Tenant to Matt Smith was so traumatic- to paraphrase a fellow fan on the issue, Russ just didn’t believe in happy endings. Tenant’s 10th Doctor ‘dies’ (for want of a better term) sad and desperate, clinging to an identity that’s about to be washed away. This time around, we get something called ‘Bi-Generation’, which allows the Doctor to split himself in two, so that his current and next identity can co-exist simultaneously. He gets to hand over the mantle and task of being the Doctor, without giving up who he is. In fact, he gets to go and live with Donna and her family and basically become everyone’s favourite uncle while Gatwa’s Doctor flies off to continue being the main character. And it’s perfect. It’s not a painful, wrenching goodbye, but a fond farewell- a reward for services rendered that doesn’t just keep a fan-favourite on hand for future shenanigans but allows the show to evolve without symbolically erasing a beloved part of its history. It’s made all the more lovely by the fact that it clearly signifies Russel T. Davies going through some kind of internal resolution and coming to terms with something we humble viewers can only guess at. He’s made room in his life for the possibility of happiness- or so it seems- and it’s reflected in his work. It’s nice when real people have arcs.

As an introduction to Gatwa’s 15th Doctor, The Giggle doesn’t do a bad job either. Instead of a few pitiful seconds of screen-time at the end of the episode (which is traditional for hot new Regenerations), Gatwa gets to act properly alongside his predecessor for a little bit and feel out the role. His delivery of the lines is mostly solid, barring a few moments of awkwardness, but- in fairness- he’s being asked to act against a fuckload of green-screen FX in no trousers for one of the most iconic programmes and roles on British telly. The fact he does as well as he does first time out is impressive. You can tell he has the talent to carry off the role (this isn’t another Whitaker situation, thank fuck)- it’s just going to take him a full episode or two to hit his stride, which is fine. But that’s the actor. The character of the 15th Doctor… well, let’s just say I feel like the TARDIS is in safe hands. Fifteen is over the top, bombastic, a tiny bit queer-coded (in a fun way, not a virtue-signalling way), refreshingly silly and absolutely full of heart. Yeah. I could get used to this guy. The fact that he’s the first black Doctor is also handled way, way better than Whitaker being the first female Doctor. With Whitaker, we got a fucking awful, unearned straight-to-camera speech about how change can be scary but how it’s also inevitable and important (or something- after a certain point, I couldn’t hear it over the sound of my own groaning). With Gatwa we get “Do you come in a range of colours?” “Yes.” and that’s it. The show doesn’t want to start a blasted controversy over it or have it be a big deal… so it accomplishes that by not making it a big deal. This kind of light touch, trust-the-audience-to-keep-up approach is refreshing to say the least. And yeah- it does help mend some of those Chibfail/Pisstaker-burned bridges I alluded to earlier.

Speaking of mending burned bridges, I think one of the most important things The Giggle does is low-key kick the shit out of Chibnall’s idiotic changes to canon. It’s accomplished with exactly one line of dialogue, and it’s open to interpretation, but it’s still an olive branch to fans who were flabbergasted by the flagrant disrespect of The Timeless Children and the whole ‘Division’ plot arc in Flux. See, aside from pushing against established canon in a way that insulted those invested therein, those storylines symbolically overrode William Hartnell’s definitive performance as the First Doctor from way back in the 60s, turning his character into just another link in the chain and erasing the in-universe legacy of much-cherished figure (a real person whose importance to the show cannot be overstated), just because he didn’t fit Chibfail’s personal, self-serving vision of who and what the Doctor should be. But, in The Giggle, we learn that the Toymaker “made a jigsaw puzzle” out of the Doctor’s history, low-key implying that, actually, none of this bullshit is canon- it was just a mad bastard with reality-bending powers messing with the Doc for shits and, er, giggles. No pun intended. Fine by me. I also quite liked the way The Giggle used the Toymaker to take aim at the Culture War and cancel culture- on both sides of the divide- because it seemed like a bit of an acknowledgement that the fans hadn’t really come first where creative decision on Who were concerned lately; that it was more about seeming to be on the right ‘side’. The implication here, of course, is that if the bloody Toymaker knows this is bullshit, so does the show and we’ll get episodes that appeal to all the fanbase as a whole rather than episodes that seek to draw battle-lines and divide them. I mean, the bridges Chibnall and Whitaker burned were big, huge, fucking massive bridges and they burned them very, very thoroughly. Doctor Who has a lot of work to do if it wants to bring them back up to code and win fan trust back, but it’s made enormous strides just with The Giggle.

As for serving as a showcase for everything good about Who- yeah: fucking nails it. We’ve got cosmic stakes, quintessentially British snark, loveable daftness, a great fucking bad guy, problems being solved with smarts and charisma rather than guns and violence, high concept sci-fi nonsense by the bucket load and even some creepy as fuck monsters to play with. Plus, with the single line “My legions are coming,” we know that we’re going to get more mileage out of the plot-line. What’s not to love?

So yes: The Giggle is worth every tiny scrap of hype that surrounds it. It really is the episode to revitalise Doctor Who. Yes, RTD and friends still have to stick the landing- they still have to keep up a consistent quality with upcoming episodes and not backslide to fucking Star Beast level- but, if they can do all that, the show should be good for awhile. Yes, it will still have to stop eventually, but that moment is no longer imminent. With the right management and succession of showrunners, we could get another decade out of this. Doctor Who could actually outlast the Culture Wars that make it so hard to do good sci-fi, regardless of which side of the political spectrum your story falls on. Wouldn’t that be nice? To know that, in the end, the winner of that tawdry fucking bum-fight wasn’t one side or the other, but a genuinely lovely and well-meaning little British sci-fi show. And all that, because one episode- one fucking episode- was able to undo years of crap. Not bad for a single hour of Saturday evening telly.

[toxinoire]

A lil Dukesaw something because I'm board

(There's Chansaw if you squint enough)

Also if the name Heather is overused in this, I wanted to make it confusing :)

Setting: Movie

'G0d, come on Veronica.' Said Heather as she hit the back of Veronica's head.

Veronica fixed and hair and retorted 'What's your damage Heather?'

Heather shrugged. 'Don't blame me. Heather says to haul your ass into the cafeteria.' Veronica stares at her with an obvious "I don't wanna" expression.

Heather saw this coming, so she turned to Heather. 'Heather, back me up here.'

Heather looks back at Veronica with a...gentle? Expression on her face. 'Yeah Veronica, she really wants to talk to you.' And a gentle voice apparently. And as expected, Veronica complies. Heather knew that this is why whenever they need to call Veronica, Heather has to be there, because she listens to her more than she listens to her or Heather. It's weird but it makes sense since those two are on a similar wavelength.

When they arrived at the cafeteria, Heather goes on about her plan to trick Martha Dunnstock with a forged note. Veronica refuses at first then eventually listens, since she doesn't exactly owe Martha anything.

'You need something to write on. Heather, bend over.' Said Heather.

Veronica and Heather visibly flush. Veronica looks like she's trying not to laugh while Heather looks like she just had a system error. She complies anyway.

Once that's over with, Veronica and Heather started around with the lunch time poll. Both Heather and Heather see them talking to this guy in a trench coat, and Heather swears there is an even deadlier than usual aura on both Heather and Heather.

Said dude in a trench coat pulls a gun on Kurt and Ram and sends the cafeteria into a panic.

Both Heather and Heather got trampled upon by other students.

Once the commotion is over, Veronica checks on the other two.

'Are you ok?' She asks Heather. She nods. 'Are you sure?' Heather nods again. 'Yeah.' Veronica sighs in relief and turns to Heather. She gently places her hand on her arm and ever so softly asks 'Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?'

Heather smiles at her and nods. 'Yeah I'm ok. It's a little painful but I'm ok.' Veronica, still softly, asks 'Are you sure?' Heather nods. Veronica smiles back at her as she sighs in relief once again.

Heather can't see Veronica's face, but her entire aura right now emits so much affection.

It makes her feel a little bit like shit to not be on the receiving end of that affection.

~~~~~

Heather is the first one to arrive at Veronica's house for their croquet game. Veronica's parents know her well since she spends a lot of time there. She heads to the lawn.

'Hi Ronnie.' Heather greeted the girl sitting on the fountain writing.

Veronica looks up at her and smiles. She gets up and walks over to the girl in green, wraps her arms around her waist and gives her bone crushing a hug. 'Hi darling.'

Heather giggles as she hugs back. 'Quite affectionate today aren't we?'

They walked to the fountain. Veronica sat down and pulled Heather on her lap so she could hug her from behind.

'Those people trampled you earlier. I couldn't stand to watch.'

'Aw babe I'm fine.'

Veronica buries her face in Heather's neck. 'Even so. They hurt you.'

'It wasn't intentional darling.'

'They still ended up hurting you. I would've punched them if I knew who they were.'

Heather giggles at how protective Veronica is over her. It's cute and flattering.

She loves her so much.

Of course, Heather and Heather don't know about this. They'd rip them to shreds if they ever knew.

'You smell good.' Said Veronica as she sighed in content.

'You're warm.' Heather says as she also sighs in content.

They stay like that for a while but had to break apart after Veronica's mom tells them that Heather and Heather have arrived.

[artzychic27]

I've got a scene to request.

Weird multiverse shit happens, and Monarch finds himself speaking to the King of Hearts.

He is disturbed by the mad behavior of his alternate self, but he still asks if his father is alive in this alternate universe. When he tells the King that in his father is dead in this timeline, King Nathaniel gleefully asks how Monarch killed him?

Monarch is thankful when he is sent back to his own timeline, glad that compared to the King, he's practically a hero.

Monarch: *Watching the Mad King laughing maniacally as he beheads card guards with only a single swipe from his flamingo croquet mallet* This dude is psychotic.

Nathaniel of Hearts: A screw loose I am, psychotic I may be. But there is only one title to describe the King, yours truly. What is it?

Monarch: … Uh-

Nathaniel of Hearts: MAD, you moron!

Monarch: *Chuckles nervously* Great riddle, I think. So… Since you’re King at a young age, I’m assuming your parents… You know.

Nathaniel of Hearts: *Sighs dramatically on his throne* Yes! The deaths of my doting parents was tragic, so untimely!… But I received so many presents at the funeral!

Monarch: O-oh… That’s nice?

Nathaniel of Hearts: Well, don’t leave me in suspense. How did you do it?

Monarch: Excuse me?

Nathaniel of Hearts: Guillotine? Poison? Did you hire an assassin?! I must know how you offed your dear parents!

Monarch: … WHAT?

*Back in the SB&IB universe*

Monarch: So, I guess if I learned one thing, it’s that… No matter how evil people say we are… We’re heroes compared to that guy.

Prince Paon: So true.

Scarlet Beetle: Amen.

Ikati Black: Thank God you got out of there.

Monarch: Yeah… So, let’s get get back to fighting.

[helenadurazzo]

Third Time’s A Charm Part One

Here is a HPHM x Twisted Wonderland Story me and @princess-of-pearls-and-stars came up with. This particular addition focuses on the Ghost Marriage event!

Asteria belongs to @princess-of-pearls-and-stars while Helena belongs to me. The story below is inspired by chapters 14 and 15 from the event

“So we gathered a grand total of NOBODY!?” The Headmage exclaimed as large amounts of refusals to become an acting suitor to a ghost princess to save Ignihyde’s Housewarden came rolling in rapidly.

Ortho only sighed, “Absolutely heartless.”

“Worry not!” Rook called out, “You have two qualified suitors right here!” Referring to himself and Epel.

“Rook Hunt! Epel Felmier!” Ortho cheered up immediately, “You’ll help my brother?”

“But of course!” Rook beamed, “Helping our fellow man is one of the most beauteous acts. That and I refuse to let any more mockery of Vil’s fair features continue! Epel is just as motivated as myself!”

“That’s right!” Epel confirmed confidently, “If I save my Housewarden, then he will have to recognize my strength.”

“So our C Team consists of two people.” Ace observed, scratching the back of his head in disinterest, “Well I suppose I can’t blame the others for not wanting to get involved…”

“I’ll join you.” Riddle announced proudly.

“Wait why!?” Ace questioned, his eyes filled with surprise, “You’re not seriously going to rescue Cater and Trey.”

“That’s part of it.” Riddle explained, “After all it’s part of a housewarden’s job to make up for the shortcomings of their dorm’s members. However, if you remember Ace, there is a much more critical reason to partake in this.”

“So Idia doesn’t become a ghost and Ortho doesn’t burn down the school?” Ace assumed.

“Partially.” Riddle quietly chuckled, “But remember Rule 703: ‘Anyone who comes in second in a croquet tournament must serve the Queen tea the next day.”

“What’s that got to do with…” Ace raised an eyebrow before coming to a realization, “OH!”

“What?” Asteria question, still very confused.

“You see, Cater came in second during yesterday’s croquet tournament.” Riddle explained. “So he must return to the dorm before tomorrow. He has to serve tea to the queen — that is, to me — sometime today!”

“Look dude, if you really want some tea I can just…” Ace tried to offer.

“Out of the question.” Riddle turned him down immediately, “You didn’t even make it into the top ten yesterday Ace. It must be Cater and I’ll make sure he returns on time.”

“Sheesh, always the stickler.” Ace muttered. “At least none of this is my problem, good day!”

“Not so fast.” Riddle stopped him grabbing on to his arm before turning to the headmage, “So the next group of suitors will involve myself, Rook, Epel, and Ace, that makes four.”

“ME!?” Ace panicked, “Why do I need to be a part of this!?”

“Don’t tell me you were planning on sitting out.” Riddle raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Well duh.” Ace foolishly confirmed, “No reason to leap into this trainwreck. I want no part in it.”

“Fine.” Riddle seemingly dismissed him, “Go tend to the hedgehogs or something. I’ll be just fine with Epel here, because unlike you he has some sense of bravery and initiative.”

“Excuse me?” Ace exclaimed.

Riddle sighed as he looked at Epel, “It’s a pity my dorm’s freshmen are such cowards. Seems like you have more courage in your pinky finger than they have in their entire bodies.”

“Ex-CUSE me?” Ace repeated, with Helena quietly chuckling at the scene.

“Spineless worms like him would only slow us down.” Riddle continued to tease.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Ace yelled in an offended tone.”

“Riddle has a point.” Helena shrugged.

“Shut up.” Ace glared at her, clearly not wanting the reminder. “With my slick moves, I could get that bride to fall for me before Riddle and Epel had a chance, in fact, I doubt any of you would make the cut as we saw with the first two teams of guys, especially considering we had a literal prince among one of them. Rook might be fine since he is tall, but Riddle and Epel are shorter than-“

“Do you want to lose your head Ace?” Riddle interrupted him.

“NOTHING!” Ace took back his words.

“This bickering won’t get us anywhere.” Ortho noted, “And we only have a few hours until Midnight.” He then turned to Asteria and Helena, “Would you two make sure they stay focused?”

“You can count on us.” Asteria nodded, responding for both of them.

“Thank you!” Ortho cheered, “I knew you two wouldn’t let me down.”

“Well I ain’t going.” Grim refused.

“Nobody asked you to.” Ace pointed out.

“True.” Ortho agreed, “The chances of the bride choosing Grim are infinitely approaching zero.”

“That sounds like a challenge!” Grim snapped, “I am going with you all!”

“Ah this passion is beautiful!” Rook exclaimed delightfully.

“Considering the time we have and the few suitors left, this will be our last chance.” The headmage pointed out. “If Operation Proposal fails for a third time… Idia’s life will be forfeit.” The headmage pondered before continuing, “Perhaps we need a different approach to ensure the failures of Teams A and B don’t happen again.” He then turned to Helena and Asteria, “Perhaps one of the two of you could act the part of Idia’s fiancee, bringing along four suitors to take Idia’s place.”

“How about Helena.” Ace teased, “She was the one who was confused on why the idea of Idia being prince material was simply ludicrous.”

“Idia’s a fine guy!” Helena defended Ignihyde’s Housewarden. “A bit of a recluse but he hasn’t done anything warrant of this behavior.” She then turned to the Headmage, “I will take up the mantle.”

"And might as well add the rightful fiancée's rightfully furious sister into the mix " Asteria sighed and crossed her arms with a huff "I need to give that princess a piece of my mind about her taking over Ramshakle AND her slapping Deuce. Besides someone has to keep Ace in check"

"What's THAT supposed to mean ?!" Ace turned to look at the noirette with an indignant expression

"Statue Incident, Chandelier Incident, dealing with you when we were trying to get the magical stone from the Dwarfs Mine, the MANY times you've managed to land yourself or yourself, Deuce, & Grim in detention within these two months..." Asteria stated, glaring at Ace while stepping closer to him with each word before poking his chest "Need I say more sweetheart? Oh, and by the way, you still owe me and Helena lunch as payment for convincing Professor Crewel to give you a lighter punishment for the stunt you pulled in Potions class last week..."

“Excellent.” The Headmage clasped his hands together before turning to Riddle, Ace, Rook, and Epel, “One of things the ghost bride took points off of was the suitors attire. And she seemed to be quite taken by Idia’s tux. This is vital information we can’t ignore. I say we create four perfect princes and a rightful fiancee for this next attempt.”

“Don’t you worry Headmage.” Sam assured Dire Crowley when they walked into his shop. “My stock is guaranteed to win this bride’s heart. Take the tuxes are would-be grooms and the dress are would-be fiancee are wearing as an example.”

“Where do I pin this boutonnière?” Asteria heard Epel ask.

“It goes on your lapel.” Riddle replied, “Here, allow me…”

Asteria then heard another voice, this time belonging to Ace as he said, “I’m not sure I got all of this on right. There is a whole lot of parts here.”

“Do not fret Monsieur Heart.” Rook assured the Heartslabyul freshman, “Your Albert chain and rosette are perfect.”

Ortho, who was next to the Headmage, Sam, Asteria and Grim spoke next, “Come out if you are ready.”

“All right.” Riddle accepted before stepping out from behind the curtain. He was dressed in a three piece suit with a white collared shirt, black vest with gold embroidery, and a red suit jacket that went down to his knees, toped with a large yellow tie that shimmered like gold. One side of his red hair was even tucked behind his ear so attentively.

“Roi des Roses you look positively gallant!” Rook exclaimed as he emerged next. He was also dressed in a three piece suit white a white undershirt, white and lavender striped vest, with the rest of his clothing being a royal purple. Rather than his usual hat, his head was bare of an head accessories, an unusual sight.

“Your words are appreciated.” Riddle thanked him. “I must hand it to you as well, Rook. You’ve certainly mastered the mature look; you’re a credit to your year.”

Rook beamed radiantly, “Merci!”

Ace was dressed in a red plaid suit with his auburn bangs tied back in a similar way to how he did it whenever he played basketball. He had a black tie, along with a yellow and blue ribbon. “Sure Housewarden Riddle and Rook look fine and all.” He began, “but I’m definitely not used to these fancy duds. I can’t decide if it’s cool and new or just stuffy and uncomfortable.”

“You have a point.” Epel noted as he also walked out, wearing a white suit jacket, purple plaid vest a black undershirt and pants, a golden tie, and a white rose. “Do I look weird in this get up?”

“Far from it!” Rook comforted his fellow Pomefiore resident, “It highlights your charming looks, that goes for both of you.” He added as he turned his eyes towards Ace as well.

"I have a hard time taking Rook's compliment at face value" Ace said, then immediatly turned to look at Asteria "What do you think Asteria? Am I nailing this lo-"

Ace's jaw promptly dropped once his eyes landed on Asteria. She was wearing an off the shoulders amethyst purple dress with a sweetheart neckline and an ankle length dress skirt. Around her waist was a ribbon with a bow tied at the back that looked exactly like his suits's jacket color and pattern

On her ears were gold and saphirre heart shaped earrings and around her neck was a heart shaped saphirre pendant on a gold chain as well as a gold and saphirre bracelet on her right wrist. For her makeup, there was a light dusting of gold eyeshadow on her eyelids, a soft blush on her cheeks, and cherry red lipgloss on her lips

And her hair - which was always in a singular braid - now fell down her back in long, bouncy black curls, the top of her head adorned with a crown of white, red, purple and blue roses. To put into simple terms, she looked gorgeous

“He is second in command to Vil Schoenheit, he surely knows what he is talking about.” Helena finally stepped out of the curtain, seemingly finally finished up a light layer of make up. She wore an off the shoulder light pink dress that touched the floor, decorated with a faint floral design with a part of the fabric worked as a strap around her waist. Her brown hair was styled in a way where it cascaded down her back and her blue eyes shone brighter than they ever had before. Additionally, she had also been crowned with a series of flowers that resembled what royalty of the garden must have worn.

“You look like a princess!” Asteria exclaimed as she hugged her sister tight. Being careful not to ruin the look. When it came to Ace however, she was having a very hard time functioning

“Oh no…” Asteria internally whined “He's hot...”

Now, you won't ever hear Asteria say it out loud, but she had always, just the teensiest bit, found Ace cute. Though that was usually overshadowed by the fact that he was a major troublemaker. That blasted smirk of his often spelt trouble. But seeing him in that suit with his bangs pulled back from his forehead…

Asteria cleared her throat, “You look good yourself, plaid suits you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Ace admitted as he looked at his appearance in a mirror.

“The outfits are imbued with ancient magic.” Sam explained. “Something about looking extra-attractive especially when it comes to ghosts. You also get some bonus swag with these outfits, consolation bouquets!”

“Ooh La La!” Rook exclaimed, easily impressed, “They are as colorful as they are lovely!”

“These are no ordinary bouquets.” Sam pointed out, “Their blooms draw sustenance from negative emotions. Absorbing sorrows and grudges, the types of feelings that fuel a ghosts power. Should cover all bases for you little imps!”

Ace seemed pleased, “With this arsenal, that bride’s heart is as good as mine.”

Epel looked a bit more confident “I’m starting to think I could actually pull this proposal off!”

“Just remember one little thing imps.” Sam caught their attention. “Only the circle of severance can actually send the ghost bride on to the afterlife. Your success entirely depends on getting that ring on her finger.”

“Her ghost retainers will especially be vigilant this hour.” The headmage added. “If you fail to act genuine with your act, you won’t make it through the door.”

“It won’t be an issue as long as we use our time wisely.” Riddle pointed out. “I’ll prove I’m the picture-perfect prince.”

Rook sounded just as passionate, “I too shall expend every effort to spin words of love and affection. I’m sure with sufficient sincerity she’ll know much I care.”

“I’ll capture her heart I just know it!” Epel claimed proudly

“I’ll make sure this is wrapped up in no time.” Ace spoke without a care in the world.

“It’s now or never.” Asteria wrapped a comforting arm around her sister.

[carpeossa]

I’m watching Crocodile 2000 and it’s your basic B movie with college students as fodder for the monster.

I haven’t watched it since it first came out when I was a kid, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!

It has the perfect prequel potential!

Spoilers for background:

So in 1904* a man named Harlan Clemens created a hotel called The Nile Hotel and imported a massive (at least 30ft or 9m long) Nile crocodile called Flat Dog and made her the main attraction.

[image of the Nile Hotel at night]

Now supposedly this crocodile was descended from the crocodiles that were rode into battle by the Pharaohs (yeah, right, sure there bud).

[image of a mural depicting a man riding a giant Nile crocodile. Mural says: “Flat Dog - The Eighth Wonder of the World - At the Nile Hotel -Nightly]

So Harlan created a shrine dedicated to her and pretty much built a cult around her claiming that she was an avatar for the ancient Egyptian god Sobek**.

Harlan thought that he could harness Sobek’s powers/gain favor by worshipping Flat Dog.

Now, during this time, Flat Dog was able to lay eggs without a mate and this was considered a miracle/divine intervention. ^^

Harlan then took the eggs and displayed them in the hotel lobby, however his 8yo son get mad at Harlan one day and took a croquet mallet to the display case and smashed all of the miracle eggs.

Local legend says that after this, the town learned that Harlan was basically creating a cult, and ran him out of town and in the confusion, Flat Dog escaped into the local estuary. 

But the grandson of Harlan said that Flat Dog killed and ate Harlan for the disrespectful act and later killed Harlan’s son once he became an adult and tried to hunt down Flat Dog in vengeance for killing his father.

[image of Flat Dog exiting a convenience store by breaking down a wall.]

That’s the basic back story to this film and I LOVE IT! Imagine it as its own stand alone movie (just get rid of the historical inaccuracies) set in the early 1900s just before the King Tut craze!

Just some dude getting a giant croc and doing some lines, turning to his sone and saying “you know what, that’s an avatar.”

I like it and give it a thumbs up.

[image of skeleton hand reaching through the grave and giving a thumbs up]

Author notes:

*Movie says that what happened to Harlan occurred 96 years ago and the movie is set to 2000 so 2000 - 96 = 1904).

**Wikipedia says Sobek is a dude, but the film keeps calling him a her so whatever ghoulie; big croc with bad temper is the important message here, ghoul.

^^I’ve tried to find if Nile crocs are capable of parthenogenesis like Komodo dragons or if they can perform long-term-sperm-storage. I found no research that confirms if either biological function occurs in female Nile crocs.

I did learn though that female Nile crocs used to form communal nests in the wild, but it hasn’t been observed since 1952 in Uganda’s Ntoroko peninsula.

Apparently human disturbance contributed to isolated nesting (at least from what I understood).

My phone and tumblr and having a disagreement right now, so I can’t add links of my half way done research into this post (I’m not Roanoke Games) - so here’s a screen shot of the links I used:

[suneeater]

Hello can I get a bnha matchup??? Either villain or hero is fine!

My preference is bOTH. I like both men and women.

My personality is basically the epitome of a drunk dude in a fever dream, literal chaos itself. I am extremely weird, && basically alternate between a calm && rational person to a complete chaotic idiot. I am obsessed with crabs && spade cards! Literally all i talk about is crabs, in my mind it's only crabs. When I'm at least rational it's the equivalent of me being sober, i also like pirates and as a pirate should::

I am one foul mouthed motherfucker, i have a habit of cursing, either regular swear words or the most absurd sounding swear words come out of my mouth. (E.G. : “you blithering feculent shithole” “primitive fuckjam” “putrid shitsmoking cretins” “you dickreeking undulating fuckass” “fucksquatting pain in the waste chute” “heinous ravaging trash" “reprehensible sanctimonious jitterfuckery.”) I am completely incapable of uttering a single word without fucking cursing. I also create weird mash of words like:: ("diddlesnob" "smiddlewat" etc.)

I have no mental filter whatsoever i say weird shit like::: ("you smell like carbonated cucumbers on a hot summer night" "you seem like a kneecap consumer" "what if i just shat out amoxicillin" "it tasted like Mario was inside of your ass himself with a blow-dryer" "that was the most toe-wetting knee-curling thing I've ever seen" && "this feels like crunchy water") complete crackhead shit one of my famous quotes is ("Ye be a fucking chitinous douchecrunching swiddlewanker razzmatazz of hot fairyshit on a friday morning at Taco Bell")

Alongside my weird swears i often say stuff like::: "If jumping jacks take turns while jumping, how is a water fountain like a solid desk?" "Why is a croquet set like a baseball club?? " && "Why are writing pens like a cabinet??" "If bacteria eat chicken legs but not candycanes, why does a lamppost achieve the theory of evolution????" Basically some twisted unanswerable riddles && questions. What can I say? The confusion of others amuses me. I also enjoy romcoms and pokemon cards

I'm a very simple crab-loving person, i have a similar mindset to Garou from OPM or even the Hero Killer Stain, i think it's just injustice that you're forced to play the role of the bad guy while some boatload of goody patootie heroes stop you, some of their motives are for the better of this world yet all the heroes want it to be the same corrupt world. All the same..

But I'd never commit a crime! I just agree with their ideology:]]

I also have a permanent smile attached to my face! :]] Due to that and my overall personality my friend's call me "humanized remake of Cheshire Cat" "Smiley bastard" "average citizen of wonderland" "r/rareinsults vocabulary"

-🦀

hihi! thanks for sending this in!

I match you with Nighteye!

He's first attracted to you because of the fact that you're always smiling. He needs that to balance out his own personality, I mean think about how he worked with All Might for so long. He likes a charismatic partner

He's also got a sense of humor that others don't really get. Maybe the two of you might not get each other's either, but you share this fact with each other and can appreciate on another's humor :)

He's also very intrigued to hear your input on hero society. Being so deeply invested in it, he's got no way of backing out and changing his stance could be dangerous. Hearing a new take is refreshing and keeps his life balanced <3

[letsgofoletsgo]

Parent’s Day

This is a fic that takes place in @arickaandherfictionalothers‘ Rise of The Descendants AU. Since this fic is my character’s perspective in this scenario, I’ve used/edited some of the dialogue from her original fic, which you can read here. Hope you enjoy!

~

It was parents day at Auradon Prep, and the students and parents alike were dressed up and enjoying themselves. Friends and acquaintances were chatting, a wide variety of food was spread, and croquet hoops were scattered around the fields. 

Needless to say, the VKs were hesitant about an event like this. Formal gatherings, manners, and pleasantries weren’t things they were familiar with; much less anything related to family. However, as the day went on, they actually found themselves having a fairly good time. Evie found herself right at home in the midst of the higher ups, aiding Mal in many a conversation she found herself roped into. Aricka stayed by Evie’s side as well, providing her own insight into the upper class discussions. Uma was keeping an eye on Harry- not necessarily for his own sake, but just to make sure he wouldn’t mess with anyone (too much). Carlos had his hands full with Dude, but Gil seemed happy to help look after the pup. 

Jay and Azalea were no exception either. After helping themselves to some food, Jay particularly enjoying the chocolate fountain, he agreed to a game of croquet with Ben. Azalea watched from the sidelines, smiling as xyr boyfriend learned the ways of the game.

“Hey, nice shot!” Ben exclaimed after a clean stroke by Jay. 

“Heh, thanks.” The two high fived.

“Looks like you're getting the hang of it, Jay-Jay.” Azalea called with a teasingly smug tone. 

“Well, had a good enough teacher to show me the ropes.” He shrugged, gesturing to the prince. 

“Thank you! My parents taught me since I was young.”

“No problem, man.” 

The boys eventually finished their game, and Ben left to overview the festivities. The two took the time to enjoy each other’s company. 

“Never thought I’d say this, but this hasn’t been too bad of a shindig.” Jay commented, looking over the crowd. 

“Yeah. Glad to see everyone’s having fun.” Xe turned to him. “Guess we ought to give the Auradon Kids some credit, huh?” 

“With the way things are going, I’d say so. Never figured some rich-kid gathering could be this fun.” 

“Even if we did have to get prim and proper for it.” 

“Well, I think you look very handsome when you’re prim and proper.” He grinned. 

Azalea chuckled. “Same to you, pretty boy-

“YOU!” 

Jay and Azalea froze at the voice, turning to the scene along with the rest of the crows. In the middle of the field, Mal was confronted by Queen Leah and Ella; and Leah seemed none too pleased upon learning who her mother was. Glancing at each other, the two hurried over, figuring that this couldn’t be good. Upon further inspection, the other VKs seemed to have the same idea, circling behind Mal with Aricka by her side. 

“Your majesty Queen Leah,” she said, “Princess Aricka of Olympus, we’ve met before. May I present my sister Mal Page?”

“How are you so young?!” The queen exclaimed.

“Grammy, this isn’t Maleficent, this is her daughter, Mal. She’s one of the Isle children we brought over for our Reformation Proclamation,”’Audrey tried to explain.

“Audrey- you LET her over?!” Leah gasped. “After what her mother did to your- did to my DAUGHTER?!”

“Yes, Grammy, Maleficent did that to my mother. Mal has done nothing to me,” Audrey said, grabbing Mal’s hand. “She is my friend.”

Mal seemed thunderstruck by Audrey’s claim, but Aricka Page seemed to have taken over speaking for her twin. “Queen Leah, my twin is more our father’s daughter than she ever was our mother’s. Mal is innocent and has done nothing to deserve your prejudice or hatred.”

“Are you so sure of that? How can we trust you? Any of you?” Ella spoke. 

Aricka Charming paled at the words that came from her own mother’s mouth. 

“How do we know you haven’t spelled our children to say whatever makes you look good?”

“Mother?!” Aricka and Chad exclaimed.

She laughed in a condescending manner. “I mean, look at them. The daughter of the mistress of all evil, who cursed a baby to die before she was even truly alive.” 

Mal’s eyes glowed a dangerous shade of green, only to calm when her sister gripped her hand. 

“The son of Jafar who tried to take over an entire kingdom because the sultan wouldn’t let him marry the Princess- not to mention the no-name sorcerer that he decided to drag along.” 

Immediately, Jay’s hand hovered in front of Azalea protectively; but xe wasn’t about to let what she said about him slip either, made evident by xyr subtly glowing pendant.

“And if that wasn’t bad enough, the daughter of the evil queen who is surely nothing more than a gold digger and a cheat.” Aricka and Harry reached to soothe the now crying bluenette, anger burning Aricka’s skin. “The son of Cruella who is surely just as crazy as she was. The voice stealing daughter of Ursula and to make everything WORSE you invited Gaston’s spawn over-?! Belle and Adam’s worst ENEMY?!”

“H-Hey, that’s not very nice…” Gil protested softly, only for Ella to speak over him.

“And don’t get me started on your so-called boyfriend, daughter of mine. The son of Captain Hook? Really?! The man who tried to kill innocent children if they didn’t join his crew? I bet he was just as evil as his father, he should’ve been left there just like the rest of them!”

“ENOUGH MOTHER!” Aricka yells, pushing Harry behind her and staring Ella down. “I am sick and tired of this. Ever since we started the proclamation you’ve been against it. Saying the VKs are dangerous and evil and twisted. What about my cousins, huh? Do the names Diana and Anthony mean nothing to you?! And don’t even think about hurting my friends- my chosen family. If you tried to get to know them you’d realize how very wrong your judgments of them are. Mal is so talented and creative, she just wanted to go to school and get more kids safe and off the Isle. Jay is strong and athletic, he’s a great dancer and an even more loyal bodyguard and friend. Azalea is protective and resourceful, and is so talented with jewelry. Evie is beautiful, smart and kind and has a great fashion sense. In fact, she made the dress that I’m wearing today.”

“Aricka, enough of this-”

“And furthermore, Uma is not her mother. She is an amazing chef, navigator and storyteller. And don’t get me started on Gil LeGume. He’s so good and he just keeps trying to do better, to learn everything he can, to enjoy all the little things in Auradon. Gil, I still wanna cry thinking about you experiencing grapes for the first time.” 

The blonde VK who looked too much like her and Chad smiled. “Aw, thanks Aricka, I like you too!” Aricka couldn’t help but laugh, the traits she had listed evident even now.

“And finally, we come to Harry. And I could write a whole book on how he has changed me for the better. Harry showed me that I have worth simply because I am a good ally and friend to everyone I meet, that my beauty is from within; and that my power comes from the knowledge of those who have my back. Harry, I am forever grateful that we met and know each other. And Harry,” she takes a deep breath, “I know we’ve only known each other for a short time but I love you, plain and simple. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks, I’m yours. I’d give up being a princess if it meant I could be your girlfriend. Plain and simple.” 

And there, in front of everyone, she stood on tiptoes and kissed him, only to be jerked toward her mother.

“How DARE YOU!” Ella hissed. 

Aricka wrenched away from her mother’s grip. “I dare because Harry is my boyfriend.” She retorted. “You can’t tell me who or how to love-!” 

A stinging sensation filled her cheek and Aricka recoiled from the feeling of being slapped.

Her mother hit her. Actually hit her. 

Both Jay and Azalea saw red. Even her comments from earlier had left their mind; their friend had been hurt right in front of them. The two stormed forward, an emerald-colored flurry surrounding them as Azalea's rage seeped into xyr pendant. This caused the crowd to flee, Leah stepping back in fear while Ella barely registered them outside of her own fury towards her daughter. From there it was a blur, it seemed like Jay had his hands on Ella for a split second, but Azalea’s flames were doused by a blue powder. Evie had intervened with a potion, and in the confusion, used her mirror to cast a sleeping spell on Ella. 

“You two! Back off!!” She cried, a mix of fear and anger in her voice. 

Both of them came to their senses at her words. What struck Jay even more than what Ella had just done was the realization that overtook Azalea’s eyes when xe seen what xe did, blinded by xyr anger.

“Aricka! Come on!” He heard Harry shout, taking Aricka by the hand. 

Jay fully realized the situation, and ran to Azalea, putting his arm on xyr shoulder. 

“C’mon, we gotta go find the others.” 

Snapping out of xyr internal dilemma for a moment, xe nodded, following him out of the sapphire smokescreen. 

Together, hero and Isle child alike ran to the safety of their dorms to regroup.

[shytastemakerthing]

ALR!!! GN is fine with me!! 🦀🦀🦀

I would like a romantic matchup for twisted wonderland!!

Here's the matchup info:::

My personality is basically the epitome of a drunk dude in a fever dream, literal chaos itself. I am extremely weird, && basically alternate between a calm && rational person to a complete chaotic idiot. I am obsessed with crabs && spade cards! Literally all i talk about is crabs, in my mind it's only crabs.

((if you're okay with swearing))

I am one foul mouthed motherfucker, i have a habit of cursing, either regular swear words or the most absurd sounding swear words come out of my mouth. (E.G. : “you blithering feculent shithole” “primitive fuckjam” “putrid shitsmoking cretins” “you dickreeking undulating fuckass” “fucksquatting pain in the waste chute” “heinous ravaging trash" “reprehensible sanctimonious jitterfuckery.”) I am completely incapable of uttering a single word without fucking cursing. I also create weird mash of words like:: ("diddlesnob" "smiddlewat" etc.)

I have no mental filter whatsoever i say weird shit like::: ("you smell like carbonated cucumbers on a hot summer night" "what if i just shat out amoxicillin" "it tasted like Mario was inside of your ass himself with a blow-dryer" "that was the most toe-wetting knee-curling thing I've ever seen" && "this feels like crunchy water") complete crackhead shit

Alongside my weird swears i often say stuff like::: "If jumping jacks take turns while jumping, how is a water fountain like a solid desk?" "Why is a croquet set like a baseball club?? " && "If bacteria eat chicken legs but not candycanes, why does a lamppost achieve the theory of evolution????" Basically some twisted riddles && questions. What can I say? The confusion of others amuses me.

I also say "Nyeh" and "NYEHEHEHE" a lot. It is basically my signature laugh and confusion noise at this point!!!

I also have a permanent smile attached to my face! :]] Due to that and my overall personality my friend's call me "humanized remake of Cheshire Cat" Orr "Smiley bastard"

A/N: Thank youbfor your request! I certainly hope that you like it! I honestly had a lot of fun with this!🤣😊

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

• You + Floyd = Chaos, that's literally the relationship right there.

• All jokes aside, this lanky eel boy LIVES for your random drunk guy every and makes matters even worse by hyping you up about it! He's never bored when you're around!

• We have poor azul pulling at his hair in the background and Jade between the edge of having a crisis of now having to deal with two Floyd's and laughing in amusement as Azul's own reactions.

• Your random sayings and strange choices of curse words always have him wheezing! He doesn't think he's had this much fun in years! Now he repeats your sayings and curses while he's at work and Azul is beating his head on the desk.

• Speaking of work, please come visit him! Not only is the temperamental eel in a much better mood when you're around, he also tends fo work a lot better. (He may or may no have been bribed that if he works hard and gets his hobs done, then he can leave early)

• You LOVE his squeezes! Floyd is so used to people running in thr direction opposite of which he is coming, and then there's you. You're running up to him fir squeezes, or yoh standat the end of the hallway with wide open arms which is all Floyd needs to come charging at you.

• Please come to his basketball games! And the practices, too! He will have a nice spare jersey just for you to wear and cheer him on. It does wonders, Ace and Jamil can verify this. Come every game, they can't loose.

• You'll still always be Shrimpy (given that Ace is Crabby), but he will indulge in your Crab addled brain.

• Swimming with him in his mer form is a must! Don't worry, he'll try not to drown you (though he makes no promises). This means late night swims at Octavinelle, in the pool, or any other deep body of water the two of you can find.

• When he does get into one of his moods, he doesn't really feel like doing anything. This means, either you're in his room or he's in yours and you're a tangled mess of limbs, either passed out asleep, or he's asleep and your combing through his hair (something he finds soothing), or your letting him rant and vent out anything that may be frustrating him.

• Being with Floyd means various things. You get the 'you hurt my brother and I'll make your death look like an accident' from Jade, the 'break his heart anf no amount of blackmail will keep you safe' from Azul, talks. Past the threats, they care deeply for Floyd, and don't want to see him hurt (even if they will never admit to it outloud). After that, you have two more people who would do anything to protect you.

• Overall, chaos energies collide and come together in this tooth rotting relationship. Floyd doesn't plan on letting you go any time soon. He'll He'll anything if it means protecting you.