#the chaotic arguing space gays are back!

[eriadu-in-the-wildwood]

Space opera is back!

Three months after the Indomitable returned home, Theo’s cybernetic body is failing. Yaz will take any job, perform any task, to save her. But Theo’s mission lies beyond herself—Division is still pulling the galaxy’s strings, pushing the Alliance and Gallifrey toward war, and she’s determined to stop them. And keep her work secret from Yaz.

[electrificata]

alright FINE riverdale characters as played by muppets. since everyone is asking me

gonzo as jughead: jughead is a big case of "actor ruins the character" for me, this would solve all my problems. just all around a much more lovable weirdo. and hed look good in the hat

kermit as betty: now youd think it was kermit as archie, because they are both leading men trying to hold it down in a chaotic environment. but i would argue that betty is a more dynamic character with more agency, which i like better for kermie. archie really feels more reactive to me, thats why i want

one of the chickens as archie: well i just think it would be funny if archie was one of the chickens.

miss piggy as veronica: this ones just left of obvious. the OBVIOUS piggy choice is cheryl, i dont need to explain that. but i want piggy to stretch out a little, and i think the steely mob princess/businesswoman plotlines would be a welcome challenge for her. and of course, we've still got fabulous wardrobe and one-liners to play to her strengths.

rizzo as cheryl: it is TIME for rizzo the rat to SERVE CUNT.

janice as jugheads hot dad: i think her laid-back energy would be interesting in a king-of-the-bikers kind of role. not sure if she'll be able to summon the authority necessary to make us believe it, but i want to believe in her.

just fully replace kevin with statler and waldorf: they will pack roughly 50 times the gay energy into the same space he occupied.

dr. teeth as betty's mom: dr. teeth being in a nominal position of authority over kermit would be fun. and he could really chew some scenery

swedish chef as cheryl's mom: i think he'd really take it to a sort of 60s psychobiddy place with the right direction

pepe as veronica's dad: i shouldnt have to explain this one

[unclewaynemunson]

( 🥐 anon )

hiii ! how are youu? :D

i have a little funny thing for ya;

drunk steddie arguing about who is gayer that who while robin drives them back from a party.

yaaayy thank you for this fun prompt! I'm sorry it took me a while to get to it, but i hope you like a very annoying drunk steddie and a sober robin who unfortunately has to deal with that :)

---

'This is fucking scary,' Steve whispers into Eddie's ear – but drunk Steve whispers at a volume that's somehow way louder than his regular voice.

'Do you not trust my driving skills, Steven?' Robin asks, shooting Steve a glance through the rearview mirror; he and Eddie are a chaotic tangle of limbs on the backseat, their hands on each other's legs and Eddie's head resting against Steve's shoulder, his wild curls hiding half of Steve's face from view. She got her license only two weeks ago, but she's actually pretty confident in her driving skills. Steve's the one who taught her, after all.

'Course he doesn't,' Eddie answers for him. 'You're gay. Gays can't drive. 'S common knowledge.'

'Hey!' Steve exclaims. 'I'm gay, too, and I can drive very well!'

'Guess you're not gay enough, then,' Eddie offers.

Steve gasps as if Eddie has offended him right to his bones.

'I am gay!' he shouts out. 'And you know it, baby.'

Robin flashes another quick glance in the rearview mirror to see how Steve leans even closer into Eddie's space, lips dramatically pouting forward, making a grossly exaggerated kissing sound.

'Nope!' she yells to get his attention. 'No makeout sessions on my backseat, you know the rules, don't even think about it.'

'But Robbieeee.'

Steve always gets like this when he's drunk: whiny and needy and clingy. It's cute, but also kind of annoying sometimes. Mostly, it's cute when it's directed at Robin and annoying when Eddie is the object of his neediness.

'I need to prove to Eddie how gay I am.'

Eddie scoffs. 'I'm much gayer than you anyway, Stevie.'

Where drunk Steve is clingy and needy, drunk Eddie always has to turn everything in a goddamn competition. Robin rolls her eyes, but can't entirely suppress a smile creeping onto her face. She loves those two dinguses way too much to actually be annoyed.

'That's not true!' Steve says.

'Yeah, it is,' Eddie counters. 'You're better at driving than me. And I slept with more dudes.'

'Yeah but I am wearing makeup right now.'

'So? I wear nailpolish and eyeliner, you only wear lipgloss.'

'That doesn't count, you wear them to be metal, not to be gay.'

'You like girls though, and I don't.'

'Are you saying you're a misa- miso- misigi-'

'Misogynist?' Robin supplies for him.

'That.'

'If that makes me win at being gay, then yes,' Eddie deadpans.

'What if I... show you just how gay I am when we get home?' Steve whispers at his obnoxiously loud drunk-whisper volume.

'Nope!' Robin shouts before Eddie can even say anything. 'There will be none of that, I'll be in the goddamn room with you, don't you dare!'

'Did you hear that?' Steve keeps whispering. 'Robin's homophobic!'

'Buckley...' Eddie leans forward and lays a hand on her shoulder. 'You can drive, and you're homophobic. We're revoking your gay rights. You're straight now.'

'Ha! So I'm gayer than Robbie?' Steve asks.

Eddie chuckles, directing all his attention back to his boyfriend. 'Oh, for sure, baby. I'm still the gayest, though.'

[stromuprisahat]

Expectations were low, but Oh My God!

I intended to write down the dialogues that don't make much sense, but then I figured it's no use to copy/paste all the subtitles. There's rarely anything that isn't plain stupid. The Witcher: Blood Origins is amalgam of badly used tropes I've seen thousand times before. 

The Elves

Forget the beautiful, graceful humanoids with equally stunning culture. The elves here are dirty, rude and equally pathetic as humans. The only difference is pointy ears. Their architecture is massive and angular, their blades, proverbial elven blades, often look like a total amateur with zero skill forged them out of scraps.

Elves are also morally corrupt. Colonization is a huge issue we won’t learn much about, except they’re just as bad as humans will become in future. Given the context the point seems to be they had it coming... in case you were starting to feel for their race in present time.

REPRESENTATION!!!

Recently I’ve read a post about how little representation is in “source” material. Shocking, isn’t it? Slavic fantasy, heavily inspired by mediaeval Poland doesn’t include POCs (read: Blacks and East-Asians, because I’ve never seen anyone complaining about lack of Native Americans... in pseudoEurope...). The show creators obviously decided to fix that by ticking off the proper boxes.

You’ve got Black elves, East-Asian, gay gay, chubby deaf-mute... well, at least this time the different colours came from distinct nations. If only the stereotypes were avoided.

Tropes and patterns

Soft, slightly feminine gay, gullible disabled, wise older East-Asian mentor,  washed out hippie healer, abused genius, forbidden love between protector and his charge, soldier who was done killing untill the enemy wiped out his home, redemption = sacrifice = suicide, two characters arguing about who’s gonna do the sacrificing only for the one, who “lost” to go behind the other one’s back and do it...

... sprinkle some well-known terms and names: chaotic power, Xin'trea, Eredin, Avallac’h... aaand done! Brand new tale from a widely-loved universe is done!

Perhaps try writing less of what could people find cool, and focus on a good story.

Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah!

Four episodes don’t offer much space to develop many characters. Seven good guys, at least four antagonists... personalities, interactions, needless romance... it’s interesting how much can actors express in only so many interactions.

Zacaré and Brother Death are believable. 

Meldof and Gwen's story's tragic, but rather sweet in a way. (Tho they could’ve refrained from that rape aspect.)

Éile and Fjall, flat and boring. One of the unsurprising, disappointing turns of events. Zero chemistry. Made to fuck with the sole purpose of making a baby to artificially connect them to Ciri, one of the MCs in the “original” series.

The WITCHER: Blood Origin

You're telling me that the first version of a witcher was a badass elf? This is really gonna piss Geralt off.

One would hope for something different, after all this fuss, but no. First “witcher" is just another butch guy, only with pointy ears.

How do we know the turning potion's ew? It's black!

How do we know he's really WITCHER 1.0? Yellow eyes!

How do we know he’s not quite himself? Black eyes and veins on his face!

I'm sure this improvised ritual had the same effects as carefully honed procedure sorcerers spent decades perfecting...

Fuck the Coup, free The People!

The story starts with a coup, killing off three monarchs with their bodyguards. Corrupt, elitist leadership’s gone, the new rulers- army, magicians and overlooked princess- plan to invade new worlds to gain resources their world’s lacking. Sounds like a decent idea? Our heroes would disagree. The empress needs to be destroyed, because people suffer.

You changed nothing. You're just another boot looking for more necks.

... reproaches the great Éile new empress. When was she supposed to do that? In a week? Change takes time and resources, Merwyn had none. Am I supposed to cheer, because now it's faceless "people" in charge? Do they have knowledge to rule? The skill? Anything? Or are they expected to wing it? Rule isn't about putting new people to the wheel and hope it will all work out. Talk about freedom won't feed you, run trade, economy, agriculture etc..

The worst thing's we know the Empire is crumbling. We know there's no food to redistribute, even the leadership has barely anything and you can't let the head starve if you want to fix anything. Merwyn's unforgivable sin was being born into the ruling class.

- You've no idea what elfkind even is. You're just another spoiled princess.

~ I am Empress!

- You are a child ~given~ the reins of a warhorse. You don't speak for elfkind.

... the writers try to gaslight us. We’re introduced clever, idealistic, inquisitive princess, who wants to help her people. When she’s confronted with reality, she tries to learn more. She goes from her family’s pawn to schemer, who makes allies and plans, frees herself from role of figurehead and reminds others the most important task is to feed their people. That’s a character I’d love to watch. Not a dumb singer, who rallies a mob, destroys government, helps to cause cataclysm and fucks off to countryside.

The Story of the Seven

What did those fame-deserving Seven achieve? Did they solve famine? Did they end war? Did they offer better way to rule? No, no and no.

But they (unintentionally) caused the Conjunction, brought the monsters and humans into weak, starving, disorganized society. The rightfully forgotten Seven effectively crippled their own race and destroyed any chance for defense they might have had.

I don’t know who is Jaskier’s song about, but it’s not about these Seven.

[shenergyx]

You know something, Wangxian is my OTP but bb it truly is in a delulu space. like wow, you're very right about the trials and tribulations of canon wangxian.

like CQL really throws you for a tailspin - i was not the same after 51 episodes - but also - it was my first wuxia so that may play a part, lolz. my point being CQL wangxian is very very shiny and i may not have been thinking straight directly after it. And i've gotta say it - Wang Yibo DID THAT. put his back into that shit. I don't think i would have fallen in love with LWJ if not for everything he did.

Because you're right about the narratives use of LWJ to just exist for WWX's benefit. it was sorely felt every time Yibo was off screen for large swathes of time, i super noticed it, and it was like "is nothing happening at Gusu? does he not matter? HELLO??" And many of LWJ's convictions are like, "wait, but why?". Because of Yibo I trusted that LWJ must feel that way, but there is so much that supposedly happens off screen that we just never get an explanation for and it ends up doing their relationship no favors because there's no credibility, just palpable angst.

Coming to fanon, I very much leaned into my headcanon of a LWJ with much more agency. And after learning what MDZS canon was like, I simply noped out of every depiction of them as caricature opposites. They're my OTP when they're Whole people, equals, who switch, and COMMUNICATE. Not just Tall Gege and Demonic Twink with unfettered lust and chaotic devotion, which cannot be denied canon is aiming for and general fanon is loving.

Truthfully, I see them with a third. Nie Mingjue, Wen Ning, Nie Huaisang, you name it, it probably works. (For my true dream it's 100% 'An Elegant Solution' fic by Giraffeter, WWX/NMJ/LWJ, get into it) Their romance is PEAK when you throw in a third and also remember that HEY! - ya know - everyone else still exists (and are so very gay, because Hello).

In conclusion, there is just nothing to argue against anyone that cannot be assed with Wangxian. The evidence is damning. It's simply true that their perfect fantasy is far from canon, and general fanon is usually a MDZS-depicted minefield. So basically, if your Wangxian has gold and grey eyes there is a high chance they're intolerable, i'm sorry to you yours and MXTX.

hi! i was just wondering what it is specifically that you dislike about wangxian? i'm kind of intrigued, because while i get how someone could find them boring, i've never really considered anything about their dynamic (and as you mentioned in response to a previous anon, their confession scene) particularly off putting. no pressure to answer this, and this is in no way hate towards you i'm just genuinely curious <3 (i love your art by the way it's gorgeous)

Thank you for the compliment! ♥ This is gonna get ranty so I will hide it below read more as not everyone has to deal with reading this, so proceed with caution :'D

Wangxian is the weakest WWX dynamic. On god, even if I'm not fond of Yanli, they have very loving relationship where they are protective of each other and gentle with each other in a harsh world. I don't ship WWX/JC but their story and complicated love of someone you grow up with and care for deeply but clash constantly with is more interesting than anything wangxian ever had. Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian clicked together so naturally, they are chaotic and are similiarly not too interested in being up to rules. Jin Zixuan and WWX had a potential of going from enemies to partners in crime, to become family and have each other's backs but JZX was cut short and WWX never really cared afterwards either. WWX with the wens took time to build up but his YLLZ farmer era was one of the best WWX's in the story. Damn, even Lan Xichen who's always amused with WWX's temperament and secretly has a drink with wwx and is altogether looser with the rules while still being lawful matches with him way more than LWJ where there's... nothing. They were smashed together for convenience and we were suppossed to just go with it cause they are the two main characters. LWJ feels like he was just made so WWX has a "hot stoic top" to fuck him and the rest of the characters are actually build with the story and therefore feel more natural

Wangxian don't feel like they are in love, not in the way the fans make them out to be into some romantic picture perfect angsty deserved lovestory. LWJ's personal space is constantly disrespected, he's punished constantly for WWX's mistakes, he constantly needs to be the one to adjust to how WWX is instead of the other way around and after all that, LWJ doesn't really /know/ WWX so his attraction feels very idealized. WWX is the bad boy that goes against the rules and LWJ wishes he could be that (or with that) but it's almost a childish infatuation from their Gusu days that never evolved into something more mature. And WWX? I can't see how he'd like LWJ as anything more than in a physical sense. Even their obnoxious "Back then I wanted to sleep with you" confession scene is purely physical. He doesn't really know LWJ or respects him, LWJ is just a familiar face in a world that is against WWX and he's a hot body that likes him. LWJ is an easy score in a way, he's a safe option. And it'd be SO interesting if they went into that, but instead it's played like the only true love (dont forget, they are meant to be as the ONLY gay pairing in MDZS which I find insane when everyone else has more chemistry and in the end gets shat on so wangxian can fuck in a bush. I mean, LWJ leaves LXC to be depressed and alone after everything LXC stands for and did? Fucking ridiculous.)

It tries to "subvert" tropes but ends up being more stereotypical than anything. WWX was almost meant as this jock-y rebellious hotshot but instead we got a quirky twink, early 2000s shonen protagonist and every yaoi's Uke I've been seeing since like 2008. Are they suppossed to be different because the "stoic white-coded" one is not the bottom? Is the bar this low? If anything, this ornament top is the most usual top, let's be real, LWJ barely has personality or growth or focus, he's there to fuck WWX.

This is a petty reason but MXTX's "wangxian is the only gay couple" everyone else being implied straight as if to highlight just how real their love is that they are gay in time period where it's frowned upon, even though Yi City and 3zun combinations had more chemistry than anyone is. Annoying. And so is the "Don't ship them with anyone else and don't switch their dynamics" that fuels some of the most obnoxious people in the fandom to go after fanwork creators that do/like things differently.

All in all Wangxian is THE face of danmei, they are the most known even outside of danmei circles and they are extremely mediocry written for that. I mean, fuck, you put straight couple in their place and I guarantee no one would like it, it has the depth of a high school hormone-riddled couple who have different classes and "only" get to see each other during breaks and make out during lunch with others at the table, idk it's so fucking annoying to me when I know there were better options, when WWX had so many interesting dynamics that got shat on in favor of bland ass ship and I'm tired of having to like it/tolerate it just because it's gay.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, this was extremely healing 🤣

[forthehpfanboys]

Under the Stairs

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader; he/him.

Summary: Sirius has about 0 control over his hands during dinner. That's about it. Oh, and sex by the stairs.

Warnings: SMUT (MDI), kinky, dirty talk, exhibitionism, kinda and bad writing. If I missed any please dm me.

Notes: It's gay, man. And I am so, so sorry for how long this took. This took so long, I’m sorry.

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

-

“Sirius!” You smacked his hand away from your thigh for the fifth time that night. You were just trying to enjoy your dinner surrounded by your friends and family and Mr. Grabby Hands next to you was making it hard to do so. Like, couldn’t you eat in peace? Was that so much to ask for? 

Sure, you missed the animagus more than anyone could understand, but Merlin’s beard, he was exceptionally grabby tonight and it was starting to get on your nerves, especially since Harry was just across the table with his best friend's family. All nine members and then some, but did Sirius care? No, not at all. Did he ever care? Nope. Once, he fucked you against the wall separating your shared room and Lupin's room. He truly held no shame.

“What?” He turned to look at you, his head tilting to the side. “What’s wrong, love? I thought you missed me.” He grinned at your red cheeks. Godric, you wanted to pull on his hair. You tried to act like your trousers’ weren’t just a tiny bit tighter than when you first sat down.

“I missed you, not your left hand.” You hissed out, smacking his hand away again. “There are actual children!” Your eyes darted around the table. No one seemed to notice what was going on between you two, thank Merlin.

Your nostrils flared when Sirius let out a chuckle, his hand running through his fingers before he nodded. You audibly squeaked when he tugged the side of your chair so you were shoulder to shoulder with him. You smacked his chest, hoping he got the gist with a final glare.

“Fine, fine. I got the message. I’ll be good.” Sirius placed his hand on your knee this time, his thumb running along the fabric of your jeans while he engaged in the conversation with his old friend.

You let out a quiet thank you, your head filled with doubt, before going back to eating. You eyed the hand under the table when you felt it shift. He was shifting the ring on his finger so the jewel was in a more comfortable position before it went still again. 

It wasn’t until you were bringing your cup to your lips that you felt the hand move quickly to the space between your legs. You jumped when his palm grinded against your hardening flesh through your jeans, your thighs clamping around the hand. You slammed the cup down, your other hand catching the dribbles of water that escaped. Your head snapped over to him just in time to see him winking at you while raising his own glass to his smirking lips.

The hand that was now free from the glass grabbed his wrist while you wiped your face down. You bit down on your palm when he began to grind against your bulge. Your eyelids fluttered for a second but you snapped out of the state when Harry turned to you, a smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry, what?” Your voice cracked in the middle and you played it off like water went down the wrong pipe with a fake couch. Harry just waved off the excuse and scooted closer, the smile as bright as ever.

“I was just wondering if Hermione, Ron and I could check out a muggle shop in town tomorrow? We really wanna show him other ports besides quidditch.” 

“Quidditch is the only sport that matters!” Ron shouted at Harry, causing you to snicker. You borderline forgot about the hand caressing your dick and the man basically sitting on top of you.

“Sure, if Molly let’s the twins go with you. You need some form of an adult between you there and Hermione needs a break.” You let out a laugh when the twins began to argue with Harry, something over products and quidditch being the only thing that matters and Hermione shouting a loud ‘thank you!!”. Honestly, at this point you were losing your train of thought. The palm against your pelvis was adding pressure, making you bite your tongue. 

“I say, love.. For someone who protested so hard, you sure got hard very quickly.” Sirius’ sultry voice whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver and flush a bright pink. You put a hand on his chest and pushed him back against the spine of the chair.

“Shut it, Black.” You mumbled through a clenched jaw. Your hips jumped forward when his hand slipped into your pants, palming your flesh. Your toes curled against the wooden floor, a needy whine leaving your throat. 

You barely registered when everyone began to say goodnight and flee from the dining room in the same chaotic mass they came in as. Once you heard the last floorboard creak and the last door shut, you let your forehead hit the table, a whimper leaving your lips.

“Finally!” Sirius laughed out, his hand now gripping your cock in your pants, his hand moving slowly up and down. “I thought they’d never go upstairs, didn’t you, love?” He paid special attention to the head, using your pre as lubricant to make it easier. He chuckled louder when a moan escaped your lips.

“Fuck you.” You mumbled into the table cloth, your hands grasping at the wooden table for stability. Fuck, he may have been gone for 12 years, but he still knew your body like the back of his hand.

“Oh, I fully intend on us fucking tonight, doll.” He smirked when you twitched in his hand. He knew how much you loved pet names. “How about we finish this elsewhere, hmm?” 

“But Lupin just went off to bed. I’d rather not get caught tonight.” You gave him the side eye as he pulled his hand away from between your legs and stood up. His eyes glanced down at you, a chuckle causing his shoulders to bounce up and down.

“I never said we’d do it in the bedroom, love.” He offered out his hand, a dirty smirk clear as day across his lips, causing you to blush. He sure did love his sneaky sex. “Of course.. Why would I assume we couldn’t just use a silencing charm and have a grand time behind a locked door.” You grumbled out, taking his hand and standing up. You were even less surprised when Sirius led you away from the dining table and to the living room, swiftly pulling you against him. “But no, we always have to experiment.” You put your hands on his shoulders when he pressed his face into the side of your neck. 

“You know you love being dirty like this, love.” His breath fanned over your neck, leaving you to shudder. He gently led you back against a wall, his hands pressed into your hips. 

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” You whined out, leaning your head to the side allowing the man to pepper open mouthed kisses along your skin. You licked your lips, your mouth dryer than any desert on Earth. 

“I’m not!” Sirius was laughing against your skin, one of his hands traveling south. “I just know how you get, you do have a pretty solid tell.” His hand ran across your bulge, leading your squeak to echo in the dark room. “See, love? This tells me everything.” His mouth worked its way around the front of your throat, licking a warm trail right across your bobbing adam's apple. You tossed your head back against the wall, giving the male more room to ravage you. 

You looked up to see the wall he’d pressed you up against wasn’t much of a wall at all. It was the door belonging to the cupboard under the stairs. If anyone walked down the stairs and bothered to glance down at their feet, or over the railing, they’d see you two easily. It was kinda a turn on. His hand unbuttoned your jeans before pushing them down to the floor. 

“Sirius, come on.” You whined out, your own hands going to unbutton his shirt. You shuddered when he chuckled into your neck. 

“Ok, Ok. I got it, love.” His lips finally met yours in a kiss as your hands pushed the shirt off his shoulders, allowing it to flutter to the floor. His fingers slid under your shirt, his cold hands moved up across your chest before sliding the shirt off your shoulders. Once he’d successfully thrown it across the room, he pressed his lips to yours again, his hands going straight for the underside of your thighs. “Jump.” His raspy voice was back in your ear again.

Once you were sure your arms were wrapped securely around his neck, you jumped up, allowing him to maneuver your legs around his waist. With your ankles locked against his lower back, his hands moved down your thighs and straight to your ass. This man always held back absolutely nothing during your private times together, so of course this time was no different.

Sirius let out a moan when you began to grind against him. To retaliate, he grabbed the elastic of your boxers, pulled it off of your hips and made it snap back against your ass. He ignored your squeak and began to cast a few basic spells- cleansing, maybe stretching- you weren’t sure. All too quickly, he was whispering against your ear again. The stupid tease.

“Don’t tease me, lovie. I will not hesitate to make you scream my name loud enough to make the walls shake.” His hand tugged your boxers down past the swell of your ass, but made sure the top covered you, in case someone did happen to come down. Sirius was risky, but knew literal children were sleeping upstairs. 

He balanced you on his hips with one hand and used the other to tug himself free. He stroked his dick, his tongue gliding across his bottom lip as weak pleasure filled his nerves. Your eyes were automatically drawn to the precum dribbling from the swollen head. At the sight of it, you felt an insatiable itch form in your stomach and a whine left your lips as the white liquid rolled over his fingers and dropped to the floor. 

“Sirius, come ON.” You urged, your hands moving to his long hair. He grinned at how needy you were despite your attitude earlier. He always loved when you’d throw away the pride, the worry, and finally give into him. Sirius gave you a soft peck on the lips and chuckled.

“Alright, pup, alright.” His eyes twinkling with mischief and a quick wink was sent your way. Sirius planted his hands firmly against your ass, spreading your cheeks while mumbling a few spells to prep you. He enjoyed the squeak you made when the lubrication spell kicked in. “It’s cold.”

“No shit.” You griped out, teeth digging into your bottom lip while your heel dug into his lower back, begging Sirius to actually do something. “Babe, I’m wilting like a flower.” You tried to use your legs to tug him forward.

“Aw, I’m sorry, lovie.” He spoke while finally easing into you, and he continued to speak over your moan. “Feels good, huh?” He chuckled, raising a hand to cover your mouth. “Gotta be quiet, darling, or else we’ll have to stop. And you don’t want that right now, do you? We’ve come this far.” Sirius was just teasing you. Such a surprise. 

You grabbed onto his wrist, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your skull when he began to move his hips against you. He couldn’t help but smirk at the whimpers and cries and whines leaving your lips. The wizard was definitely grateful his hand was covering your lips because when he picked a harsh rhythm, and began to rock you higher up the wall with each thrust, your moans raised in volume.

“I do wish you could see how needy you look, stud. It’s breathtaking.” Sirius’ eyes noted how your eyes slowly turned glossy and your cheeks turned hot against his hand. “Absolutely amazing.” He breathed out. He moved his hand to brace the wall allowing him to raise the intensity of your pleasure, but also tuck his head against your neck and trail the skin with kisses. "Try to keep quiet for me, pup."

With that demand, he began to push into you harder and deeper, purposefully dragging a sound out of you despite his demand. You released a whimper loud enough for it to echo in the silent house and his hand smacked against your ass, leaving a louder echo behind. His chest dug into yours, allowing you to feel every shallow breath that left his lungs. It almost felt intimate despite the lustful evening. 

 You bit your tongue, ignoring the taste of iron as you rested your head against his shoulder. With ease thrust, stars were dancing across your vision and your body was sliding higher up the wall. Eventually, you got sick of the taste of your own blood so you sunk your teeth into his shoulder. The sound of skin slapping skin was almost deafening, but the worry about the noise waking anyone was far from the front of your thoughts. 

“You close?” Your voice was rough and crackly, even through the short sentence. You were. Your own cock was throbbing and leaking between your legs, it’s only stimulation being your husband’s stomach rubbing against the underside.

Sirius nodded his head, his hips coming to a stop before he was shifting his arms again. One twisted around your waist, propping you up while the other wrapped around your dripping cock, causing you to toss your head back against the wall with a thud and suddenly you were putty in his hands.

“Oh, shit, Siri.” You bit down on your bottom lip, your back arching off the wall when his thumb grazed the underside of your head. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling at the curled roots as a reflection of his hand dragging up and down your cock. You weren’t sure if it was moaning his name, or your walls twitching around his cock, but he was teetering on the edge.

“Where do you want it?” His hips slowed, allowing you to actually think and to postpone his orgasm. His hand around your leaky dick, however, did not stop. 

“Oh, fuck, in me. We can shower after this.” You let out a weak giggle, your toes flexing behind his back. He raised his head from beside your neck, revealing his dark eyes, mischievous smirk and tongue sticking out.

“I knew you were dirty. Merlin, I love you.” He purred out, his nose booping yours before he picked up the rough pace again. He wanted to see your eyes rolling back, your mouth hanging open and the beads of sweat on your forehead dripping down your skin. It didn’t take long for him to cum inside you, his lips pressing against yours hard enough to bruise. He had to hide his cry of pleasure somehow. 

Your hands moved from his hair, to his cheeks, keeping him close during the kiss. You always loved his kisses. His lips were between soft and firm, and he poured his passion into every single kiss and it just made your heart flutter. His hips lost rhythm before coming to a stop. He pulled from the kiss, but didn’t move far away. Sirius still wanted to see you finish.

“Come on, love. You can do it.” He smiled, his eyes filled with admiration. The marauder’s hand never stopped jerking in rapid motions, quickly bringing you over the edge with a cry. He pressed his lips against yours a second too late. He didn’t stop until you were trying to wiggle away from his moving hand and whimpering against his lips. “Amazing, lovie.” His voice was breathy and soft and amazing.

“Thank you, Siri. You were amazing, too.” Your voice was closer to nonexistent at this point and it filled Sirius with pride. You ran your hand along your forehead, wiping the extra sweat away from your skin.

“Don’t you mean ‘amazing like usual’?” He giggled, kissing your forehead and kinda smushing his cheek against yours, pulling a matching chuckle out of you. He just kinda held you close, cuddling you into the wall.

“Are you two done?”

Both of you looked up at the same time to see Remus leaning against the railing. He looked about the same amount of disappointed as usual. Sirius waved up to his friend, a grin spread across his lips. He pulled out of you and tucked himself away, doing the same to you as he spoke to his friend.

“Oh, hey Moony! How long have you been up?” Sirius set you down gently before wiping his hands off on his jeans. He was still smiling like a teenager coming back from spring break to their best friend.

“Enough time to know you two are disgusting. Go to bed. There are literal children here.” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes as he turned and went back up to his bedroom.

“Oops. I think he’s mad at me.”

“I’m sorry for your loss of his happiness, but can we shower now?”

“Of course, but I’m going to need time to grieve.”

“Do it in the shower.”

[shortprince-cos]

More Truths Than Dares

Summary: After "The Double Closet Incident" as Patton so calls it, Patton and Janus have a talk at their friends' sleepover.

Ship: Moceit (Patton x Janus)

Warnings: Smoking, claustrophobia mention, truth or dare. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

Note: This is a direct sequel to "In A Closet"! You can read this without reading that, but it'll probably be confusing!

{Previous}

{Masterlist} (I KNOW I NEED TO FIX IT BUT IM A PROCRASTINATOR FIGHT ME)

~~~~~

"Oh, I didn't know he was invited."

All Patton had done was walk in the door. He hadn't even said hi, or hugged Roman yet, he just walked in the door, and Janus was already on his back for just existing in his presence.

It was going to be a long night.

"Yes? He's my best friend, you know!" Roman defended as he brought Patton to sit on the couch with him and Logan.

"Wow, rude." Logan said.

Roman made a series of offended noises. "You're my boyfriend! So obviously Patton is my best friend!"

As the two quickly dissolved into playful banter, Patton stood to go put his overnight bag in Roman's room, hearing Janus whisper something to Remus and Virgil as he walked by.

Just ignore it, he thought, not really in the mood to argue today. Especially not after what Patton had dubbed ‘The Double Closet Incident’.

It was disastrous. Not only did Patton get locked in a closet with Janus, who has claustrophobia, he discovered that he may have a thing for men. Who knew?

Roman. Roman probably knew, especially after he had adopted Patton into their little friend group. And if being gay was a contest, Roman would be the judge.

But...it was normal to feel that way, right? It wasn't weird to feel embarrassed when someone got up in your personal space, was it? It wasn't abnormal to blush when someone said kind words to you, or odd to imagine yourself in different scenarios with someone you saw on a daily basis and they were-

Wait, what was he doing again?

Patton sighed as he set down his bag by Roman's bed. Those were thoughts for another day. He was supposed to be having fun at his best friend's sleepover, after all!

Patton put on a happy face and went back to the living room to join the others, finding that Roman and Remus were wrestling over something, Logan and Janus were debating, and Virgil was scrolling on his phone. Yep, it was going to be a long night.

---

After breaking up Roman and Remus' tussle, watching a couple of movies, and other various shenanigans, Remus decided to gather everyone up in his room to play truth or dare.

If Patton learned anything from watching the others' turns, it was to always choose truth when Remus picks you.

"Double D, Truth or Dare?" Remus asked excitedly, even though he already knew what Janus would say.

"Dare."

Remus grinned like a shark. "I dare you and Patton to stay in my closet for one hour together."

Both Janus and Patton went pale.

"I...lied. I meant truth." Janus quickly said, hoping that Remus would let up.

"Nope! Too late! Now, you and Patton have to get in there, have hate sex or something, and come out in an hour!"

"Uh- we can't!" Patton exclaimed suddenly, and then all eyes were on him.

"What, are you afraid of the dark or something?" Remus teased.

"Um- no- well, kinda- but no. I- uh- have claustrophobia."

Janus looked shocked, to say the least. Thankfully, everyone was still looking at Patton.

"Yeah, small spaces are absolute torture to be in, and I would prefer it if none of us did stuff that involves small spaces, because then I'll worry about them!" Patton rambled quickly, trying to get all attention on him.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. But you guys still need to do something together."

Patton blushed a bit, and Janus sighed, looking relieved.

Eventually, Remus gave up, and just dared Janus to eat shaving cream.

The rest of the night went smoother, and Patton ended up telling a lot of weird secrets, but not very important ones.

Eventually, everyone was asleep in either Roman's room, or Remus' room. Everyone except Patton, who couldn't get his brain to turn off.

Patton reluctantly got out of his sleeping bag, and made his way to the front door, maybe some fresh air would clear his mind.

Turns out, he wasn't the only one who had that idea, because as he stepped outside, he found the one and only Janus on the porch, smoking a cigarette.

Before Patton could turn back around, Janus saw him, and nodded his head in acknowledgment. Well, no going back now.

Patton silently sat down in the wooden rocking chair next to where Janus was standing, staring off into space a little before speaking up.

"You-you know that smoking is bad for you, right?"

Janus' lips curled up in a small smile as he chuckled. "I'm aware. Don't worry your pretty head, I only do it when I'm stressed."

Patton decided to ignore the way being called pretty by Janus felt and focused on the other part of that statement. "What are you stressed about?"

Janus blew out a puff of smoke, and suddenly Patton was very distracted by his lips.

"You. You're...different than how I thought you'd be." Janus said solemnly, drawing in another breath.

"Is...is that a bad thing?" Patton asked quietly, looking down to the floor.

Janus glanced at Patton with an indecipherable look on his face. "To be honest? I don't know. On one hand, you're actually a decent person."

"Thank you?"

"And on the other," Janus continued. "I've treated you like s**t for no reason other than spite."

"...It's okay-"

"It's not." Janus interrupted.

They sat in silence for awhile, trying to figure out if the other still wanted them here or not.

"Why did you think I was a bad person?" Patton asked quietly.

Janus huffed. "It's complicated."

"I mean...we got all night."

"...true." Janus sighed. "I think it's because ‘nice’ people don't usually want anything to do with me, and when they do, it's usually for the wrong reasons." He explained. "So when you started talking to me...I don't know, you reminded me of all the wrong people."

Patton's heart broke. He reminded Janus of some probably terrible memories, and had probably been hurting him just by being around him! No wonder Janus frowned whenever Patton walked in a room!

"Janus, I'm so so sorry, I never knew-"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I- That I remind you of some terrible people in your life-"

"Patton," Janus rest a hand on Patton's shoulder, making him blush. "You don't have any control over who you remind me of. Please, don't apologize for that."

"Well- then you can't apologize for being reminded of those people either!" Patton argued.

"I didn't say that, I said I was sorry for treating you terribly!"

"Well, then, I guess you're forgiven!" Patton retorted.

Janus looked at him in shock, as if Patton had just said a bunch of profanities, before quickly looking back to stare off into the distance again. His cheeks were red, but Patton convinced himself that he was probably cold out here.

"You're...too forgiving." Janus mumbled softly, as if he was talking to himself.

"I think that's a good thing." Patton replied.

Janus huffed. "...Thank you." He said, looking at Patton with a small smile on his face. "For everything."

Patton blushed. "Y-Yeah. No problem."

Janus looked at him with a disagreeing look on his face, but let it go.

They settled into comfortable silence as Janus threw his cigarette away and Patton almost fell asleep.

The second time Patton had to force his head up, Janus huffed.

"You should probably get to sleep."

As if on cue, Patton yawned. "So should you." He said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

Janus chuckled. "Fine. I'll go back to bed if you do."

"Okay, fine. You have a deal."

Janus had that stupid, self-satisfied smirk on his face that he usually wore that made Patton feel fuzzy inside.

"Good," He smirked. "See you in the morning."

"Yeah. See ya."

Janus ventured into the house, Patton following a few moments later.

Patton felt like he was getting into dangerous territory with Janus, but instead of feeling concerned, he felt more excited than ever.

~~~~~

Hi guys!!!! Its been awhile! So, this is an au that ive fallen in love with, so i wanna keep writing for it! If you guys have any name ideas, send em my way please!

General Taglist: @resident-crow-goth @macademmia @theantisocialghost @foreverfangirlalways @emo--nightmaree @moxy--sanders101 @quinnthequeer @gattonero17 @trashno0dles @tranquil-space-ninja @chaotic-murder-muffin @lugooble @sander-crossing @princess-rosie @sleepyysoot @hi-its-tutty @lookingforaplacetosleep @sarcasmremovedsoul @corkeecoderyt @drarrymalecsolangelo @private-snippers @girl-who-reads @emy-loves-you @reptilian-with-scallions

Ask to be added or removed!

Reblogs are appreciated!���

[smallfrenchcar28]

THE GAYS ARE PLANNING A PRISON BREAK Y'ALL

[afrival]

random rusame headcanons plz 🤧 space gays space gays

Anon I don’t think you understand how much I absolutely LOVE you rn. These are all gonna be pure fluff and crack, GOD IM SO HAPPY SOMEONE ASKED FOR THESE

no warnings!!!

•=======================•

- America’s accent will get more southern sounding depending on who he’s talking to or if he’s tired/drunk. When he talks to England it automatically gets more southern but he exaggerates it to piss Arthur off. IT ALSO gets southern w/ Russia but Ivan thinks it’s endearing ❤️

- It’s a common occurrence for Alfred to catch Ivan jamming out to Miss Baltimore Crabs despite claiming to hate Hairspray

- Alfred took Ivan hunting once typical like south style and it went TERRIBLY

- Ivan really likes early 2010s American music but refuses to admit it bc he knows it’s one of Alfreds favorite time periods of music

- Another common occurrence i’m the car is a song will come on in e car and the lyrics will say one or two things that he can relate to and Alfred goes “LMAO bruh it’s us during *insert some year*” or “me when you *insert some mega specific event*” and ivan just 😐🙄😬🙃

- The first time Alfred forced Ivan to listen to Rasputin was one of the hardest times Alfred ever laughed

- They take a lot of showers together

- Russias weak ass skin needs extra TLC when it comes to sunscreen. Once he got so sunburnt that Alfred was able to peel most of his back and absolutely bullied the fuck out of him for it the whole time

- They watch shitty reality tv and tlc together. They love to quote iconic lines from Hoarders, 1000 Pound Sisters, etc

- Ivan doesn’t get weirded out by mundane shit but frequently Alfred will bring a bug up to him and Ivan always flinches and goes “EUGHhHhHdhf”. Alfred is the only one who knows this

- Alfred dragged Ivan to every goddamn marvel/DC movie release date. Ivan knows the lore of the entire goddamn MCU because of this. He doesn’t really like them but he knows Alfred LOOVES the so he endorses it bc he likes seeing Al happy. (they both really enjoyed deadpool)

- Ivan lowkey likes country music and it’s all Alfred’s fault

- They generally just make a lot of fun and tease each other a lot, that’s like their love language 🥰

- Rusame loves hugs. they hate initiating them

- They are the mfs who are somehow always touching without realizing it

- They play footsies during meetings but it always leads to one of them kicking the other and everybody hearing it

- They also get into intense thumb was battles in the middle of meetings

- They both know morse code so they use that a lot to say sweet things rather than using their words

- Ivan is more laid back than Al but he will do shit to embarrass him. Like yell something humiliating in public, say that Al is like 14 years old, etc

- They have really long introspective conversations about politics, philosophy, history, etc bc they’re both nerds

- They both absolutely loooove space and are honestly genuinely VERY smart. Like they probably helped their respective space programs and now talk about everything they learned and shit

- Al is like the only person Ivan can get soft with

- They both get nightmares and that’s when they cuddle most :,)

- DOUBLE DATES WITH FRUK ARE ALWAYS SO CHAOTIC. It’s literally just Francis and Ivan standing there while Alfred and Arthur argue like the dumbfuck brothers they are

- They are both really good at cooking and they exchange recipes a lot. Ivan’s favorite meal that Al makes is a Philly Cheese Steak HEHFJFJTJ And Al really likes Solyanka and Pirozhkis

- ALFRED KNOWS RUSSIAN LMAO he learned it during the cold war 🙂 actually I hc that this man is fluent in a LOT of languages (since America has a lot of languages spoken here) including spanish, russian, french, some german, and latin bc Arthur forced him to learn when he was a kid

- They both really adore and appreciate each others country’s cultures

- Alfred takes Ivan to see the ball drop in New York almost EVERY year

- Alfred actually gets along really well with Ivan’s sisters and Ivan really really appreciates it

okay i have to stop but i have so many more of these. i have a lot for fruk and cucan and gerita too so HDHFHF plz request

[dreamties]

Slashers W/ a Punk S/O

T/W- q*eer is used a few times- in a positive, self affirming kind of way. But I can add other trigger warnings if needed. :)

A/n- Literally no one asked for this, but I wanted to make more HCs like the soft pastel one...so I just went wild and made them. 

I included a little bit of punk culture into this as well, because it’s not just about the fashion, but since there’s such a vast variety within punk culture I mostly stuck with my experiences in the community, and some bits and pieces from documentaries(mostly live footage from “The Decline of Western Civilization”).

Characters: Billy/Stu, The Lost Boys, Norman Bates, Michael Myers

Will make one(s) for Brahms, Amanda, Helen or Daniel if asked

Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

so early 90s, the Riot Grrrl movement emerges

bands like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, Heavens to Betsy or Sleater-Kinney

it’s a very female-powered oriented movement, but I notice that a lot of minorities tend to be drawn to this music and community (LGBT folks, people of color, etc).

both boys, and yourself, being outside of the norm and all (polyamorous relationship, gay/bi) are sort of drawn to it!

and sure there’s a lot of really great queercore/homocore bands, and there’s probably a good LGBT+ punk scene out there somewhere, but in a little town like Woodsboro? Hell no. Sticking with this fem punk movement, while again mostly a space for women in music- it’s the most accepted the three of you have felt outside of you’re relationship. 

you’ve always been pretty into the music, stuff like Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, or the short-lived Germs- but it wasn’t until you stumbled upon Riot Grrrl that you really got into it. 

the music, making zines about local-ish political issues(probably not so much Woodsboro stuff, more Cali in general and neighboring towns) and a few ones with queer themes and hand-drawn illustrations of your partners, and DIYing all your clothes

since you’re so experienced with DIYing your clothes and sewing on patches, you’ve helped repair the Ghostface costumes on numerous occasions. they kind of adore this(Stu is the only one that will- and does, frequently- admit that)

Let’s face it, the three of you do everything together- but you especially enjoy when Stu tags along for thrift dates. 

he’s the more fashionable one, and he makes the whole experience more enjoyable- cracking jokes and just being his all-around goofy self.

Woodsboro is a very little town, so they don’t have much...but they do have a few small stores- usually you’ll make a whole day/date out of it though. driving to the next town or so over, since they have more stores and a better selection, and spending hours looking for cheap, old t-shirts, belts, clothes with funky patterns. heading out for pizza after.

Billy’s more likely to get into the music and everything with you(he’s kinda,, angsty, no offense to him)- will definitely go to shows with you.

just- imagine Billy in ripped jeans. and he’d have like one or two patches sewn on to it- one of them is your all time favorite band, and the other is a band that he found on his own time, and actually really enjoyed.

Stu is dragged along with you guys, you can’t just leave him at home- he’s gonna feel left out and sad. :(

He’s mostly there to keep y’all company- he really likes the energy of the shows though!

the two of them are such a chaotic duo though, so much so that you have definitely been kicked out or banned from a few venues. all for varying reasons. good grief these men can not be tamed.

The Lost Boys

as we all know, these vampires are total punks. so they’re gonna appreciate having a s/o who’s also into that whole scene.

How you meet:

you’re a baby punk, and it’s your first show ever, and you look so nervous. you’re dressed up in pretty plain clothes, a single homemade patch for your favorite band barely hanging to your jacket side(you were mid-way sewing it, when you realized you were gonna be late if you didn’t leave asap).

it’s a few local bands, ones you’d never really heard of really. you look anxious. but when they start playing? you look so unapologetically yourself, you’re so in the moment dancing- it’s completely mesmerizing to the boys. the music isn’t even that good, but you seem to be having the time of your life.

they greet you after the show, and you’re a tiny bit flustered- cause gosh, heck, they saw you. dancing. so embarrassing. 

David is the one that introduces himself and the group, and initiates conversation. Dwayne’s a pretty quiet guy, so he just listens to what you have to say. 

Marko’s pretty excited about you, and initiates in some small conversation, he may have complimented your little patch(Marko- patch jacket KING, complimenting your jacket?? more likely than you’d think) 

and oh, oh- Paul is out there being a total chatty-cathy, and is absolutely bombarding you with questions. like, okay, Paul is pretty talkative, but the other vamps are a little worried that he’s scared you off. and you had seemed so cool :(

you end up pretty engaged in your convo with Paul though, even if all the attention is overwhelming. He ends up snagging a date for the five of you the following week.

once you start hanging out/dating:

y’all just hit it off so well those first few days. they all love how sweet & shy you are- but also how much of a badass punk babe you are.

Marko helps make your patch jacket(collecting ones for bands you enjoy, how to make your own, sewing them on, etc). you probably could have done it w/out his help, but my gosh- you weren’t going to pass up this opportunity. Marko gets really soft around you sometimes, since he doesn’t really do this activity with anyone else, it’s saved for you. 🥺🥺

Dwayne likes listening to you talking about the local scene(outside of the shows you go to- mostly about stuff he can’t attend, protests and meetings during the daylight.)

all of them(especially David) are very protective of you. I mean, generally. but also when you go to shows. they let you do whatever the heck you’re gonna do, but the mere second that someone even thinks about starting shit w/ you?? well, y’know. those vampire instincts kick in.

the four of them obviously share a lot of similar tastes in music- but they all have different favorite bands, & fave parts of the community. which, they can’t even fully participate in,, but it’s okay.

they, individually, introduce their favorite bands to you. and they get it in their head that oh, they said they liked it. they must like it as much as I do. and awkwardly coming out to the four of them, as they argue about your favorite band, “Well, actually- this *insert band they’ve never heard of or barely listen to* is my favorite.” and their just kinda like, oh, okay. please tell us more about them. 

so it’s sorta like,, you’ve been learning all this cool knowledge from them, now you get to share cool knowledge with them.

idk. I think it’s cute. 💕

Norman Bates

so first off- let’s just pretend Psycho was in at least the 70s/80s for a moment. because realistically- the punk subculture didn’t really exist back then.

baby boy is absolutely fascinated by the way you dress (mother is less thrilled though)

imagine your jacket is getting a bit weathered, and needs some repairs- so he helps you to sew edges closed, and make sure the patches aren’t on too loose, etc

he enjoys hearing your stories of all the past shows you’ve gone to. you always get so excited about them, and he finds that so endearing. But he pretty much leaves the actual punk scene to you because of these stories.

he was already worried from the stories, and made sure you were well prepared for any trouble every time you left for a show.

but one time, you were able to get him to join you. never again though. he was so nervous!

the music was too loud! and he could hardly understand what they were saying- it was so confusing!

you stayed with him most of the night, standing near the back, holding his hand. he’d gently bob his head to the music occasionally. 

but you accidentally found yourself swept into the crowd, but you looked so blissed-out in the moment, that he figured it would be okay for you to dance* over there for a little bit...right?  

*Norman is still unsure if you’d even call that dancing.

Thankfully, nothing bad happened in the mosh pit.

you gotta give him lots of attention and reassurance afterwards though- you almost scared Norman half to death D:

He’s happy enough helping you out and listening to you though- and that’s okay for you, too. you still love each other lots, even if this particular interest doesn’t overlap.

Michael Myers

he thinks you’re outfits are pretty interesting. 

he’s a little worried at first, when you start experimenting with putting things like safety pins in your ears. cause like- that’s not supposed to be in your ear, Y/n, what the fuck

if you make zines at all, Michael really enjoys watching you make the illustrations for them(not that he’ll admit to it though), and helps to find newspaper and magazine clippings to incorporate into the spreads.

you always show michael the final booklet before distributing it

he doesn’t talk a lot, so he doesn’t ask questions- but he often does the little head tilt once you give it to him. since he’s not very privy to current events, and a lot of your zines are political, you spend a lot of time explaining them in depth.

he has no use for any of this knowledge, but he listens on, intently.

Important note:

dear god do not bring this man to concerts and local shows with you.

it is a nightmare, to say the least

Michael is sort of,, emotionless sometimes, doesn’t really care for people at all, and if he does? definitely not in the same way most people do. 

so imagine combining that part of michael, the fact that he’s also a giant stabby man, with super loud, energetic- almost aggressive- sounding music and a bunch of strangers that aren’t respecting any personal boundaries. 

you need to keep him at the back of the venue- lest your local scene may go missing.

[rwby-sk]

My ship thoughts

This will be a long post, so I’m putting it under a ‘keep reading”

Bumbleby  - Until Vol.4 I wasn’t sure if the Bees liked each other. Like yeah, we’ve had solid evidence since, like, their Vol.1 trailers. But still. I wasn’t sure CRWBY would do it. But wow was I impressed.  - Probably my favorite well-known ship - Their EYES are the colors of each others SOULS what more do you want??? - I wish my gf would throw a motorcycle at my abusive ex...

Nuts and Dolts  - I tried pushing this ship out of my mind for so long. I did. I wasn’t ready for it  - I appreciated the things people made for the ship. I knew it had potential  - But wow. Vol.8 really said “Nuts and Dolts rights” and I respect that - They’re so cute together. It’s like if Pyrrha came back to life and could be with Jaune again.  - But healthier this way (see Arkos)

Renora  - Wholesome - Cute - ‘Boop’ is one of my favorite songs - We all saw it coming. But how we got there was the fun part  - That Vol. 4 finale though...

Arkos  - First off, Arkos is my favorite ship from Vol.1-3 - Himbo is taught how to drink his respect women juice by an Amazon? Sign me up  - The character development, the mutual respect, the CARE - ForeverFall still fucks me up. I cry when I listen to it - I love Pyrrha, she’s my girl, but... She really betrayed Jaune’s trust at the very end. He told her specifically he never wanted to be helpless and watch his friends fight for their lives again. And she did exactly that to him. Making him wonder if he could have made a difference had he been able to fight by her side with her in the end.  - But it’s not really even Pyrrha’s fault. Ozpin’s expectations and Cinder’s plan are more to blame - Still high tier - It’s just so tragic

WhiteKnight  - Cute in theory  - But it’d have to be done so carefully to be a good romantic pairing  - As friends? I LOVE IT. Make these two best friends right now! - But Jaune moved past his feelings for Weiss in Vol.2 when he finally realized she meant it when she told him she didn’t like him  - I’m shocked though that so few people pick up on Ep.3 Vol.1 when Weiss is making fun of Jaune and mockingly calls him a “cute boy”. I think Jaune just thought Weiss liked him already, and went from there. He hits on Pyrrha pretty quick in Ep.4 too - I think it could work with who they are now, but I think they’re better as friends 

WhiteRose  - The sole reason I didn’t ship Nuts and Dolts sooner  - Vol. 6 messed me up okay? That red scarf really threw me for a loop - Chasing each other in the Argus Limited?  - Weiss sassing Ruby non-stop Vol.1-3?  - It also completes the RW BY JP NR pairings. I like to joke that the Emerald forest is actually “true love” forest. And whoever you lock eyes with first you fall in love with them. But that only works sometimes  - Also that part where they call out each others names when Jinn shows them Ozpin’s past 

Ladybug  - Cute and interesting  - I’m not against it. I would just need more of it to ship it myself - They just have such solid connections with other characters  - I do love Blake’s introduction to the main cast though, and how much Blake looks up to Ruby 

Freezerburn  - Similar to LadyBug  - Cute, but I just ship them more with other people  - That hug in Vol.5 was a bit sus though - Yang does seem to open up the most with Weiss - And Weiss defended Yang so quickly after the Mercury fight  - It’s not unfounded, I’ll say that  - Analyzing it has opened my eyes 

Crosshares  - Yes  - Just  - Yes  - High femme fashion ICON Coco Adel  - With fan-fave Velvet Scarlatina - WLW powercouple  - I wish I was Coco and Velvet is cute, not much to understand here, keep scrolling 

RoseGarden  - I have my concerns  - Oscar is a wonderful kid  - He probably has a crush on Ruby  - And he is a wholesome boy who deserves all the happiness  - But he also has a manipulative immortal Wizard in his head  - So - You know

Lancaster  - I never saw Lancaster. Jaune is the first boy Ruby meets. And Jaune calls her cute and quirky once, but... - I love Ruby’s talk with Jaune about failure in Vol. 1, then his return to that speech in Vol. 4 in return.  - I think they lean on each other as leaders - But I don’t see it going further - Cute though. I’ve seen nice fanart 

BlackSun  - I read an analysis a long time ago that really sat with me  - Blake asked for space (not out loud, but in action) when she ran away - Yang gave her what she wanted. She didn’t like it. But she gave Blake what she asked for.  - Sun on the other hand, didn’t. He followed and helped her anyway. (Believe me, Blake could have used all the help she could get in Vol. 4-5) But in doing so, he kinda took himself out of the running as love interest.  - He’s and excellent Foil for Blake though, so I love him

SeaMonkies  - Two bros, chilling in a hot tub... - Is it gay to become junior detectives with your best friend and only hang out with him for like 3 seasons?  - These two are just  - So fucking stupid  - Apart, they are fine. Very competent.  - Together though - They are just so dumb I think its cute as hell 

JNR  - Wholesome  - I could see it in Argus. In front of Pyrrha’s statue - They love each other  - Maybe its not 100% romantic  - But they love each other  - I could be happy here

JNR+Neo  - CRIME + Ren  - The pure chaos of Nora and Neo  - The exhausted mom-friend energy from Ren and Jaune - The power polycule that could take on Salem alone and maybe win? - I think it’d be cute, but I personally ship them in the two pairs a bit more. 

Bees Schnees  - We add Blake and Yang’s angst, Yang and Weiss’ trust, and Weiss and Blake’s mutual understanding and growth  - Wow okay  - I have to give it to you, I kinda like it

Neo x Jaune x Ruby  - Based on my response to Lancaster, you might be able to guess my answer here - I think a lot of the ship’s points lie in “What’s better than one short girl dating the tallest guy in the cast? Two short girls dating the tallest guy in the cast!” - Cute though, I think it’d be chaotic and wholesome  - But poor Jaune would be exhausted trying to make sure the house doesn;t burn down every five minutes 

May x Winter  - Look - If I hadn’t made a Neo x Jaune side blog  - I would have made a May x Winter side blog  - The comparisons  - The family legacies  - The pure amount of how attracted I am to both characters  - What happens when two tops date each other?  - What if they were partners in Atlas?  - What if May was Winter’s first crush. And after May came out, Winter was like “Oh thank the gods, I was worried I liked all women and only one guy for some reason. Cool, crisis adverted. So anyway, Marigold, here’s how you do your makeup” - I could go on - Haha don’t tempt me - I’m serious  - Please let them sass each other at some point

GuardDogs  - Marrow = Just doing his best  - Jaune = Just doing his best  - Marrow and Jaune = two himbos just vibing in this world  - If we don’t get Silentknight, I’d be proud to get GuardDogs - Marrow sure has been worried about “Juan” this whole time, huh?

Emercury  - The sass - The pure sass  - Mercury’s unearned confidence paired with Emerald’s quick temper  - Wow, I hope Em can turn him away from murdering people.  - If Em gets 1 friend, I hope its Mercury and not Cinder  - At least Mercury cares about her (But he’s too cool to admit that outright) - Mercury is going to see Em on RWBY’s team and just immediately walk over and join up. No questions asked. “I guess we’re good now. Sorry Tyrian, its been cool, not really”

Happy Huntresses - Yes - Look at that HUG - Ladies, is it gay to go off into the tundra and form a rebellion against the fascist government with three of your hottest gal pals? 

[lampoest]

Unfiltered thoughts watching mission impossible rouge nation inspired by @chaotically-cas

(sorry its so long my brain is all over the place)

this is also part 14 of me watching it every day :/

CURSING WARNING !! ALSO SPOILERS !!!

why is brandt first to speak

starting out with "shit" good call benji

brandt man we get the package is on the mcfucking plane

badass luther 10/10

nervous benji 10/10

that one sound effects sounds like the discord notif

why he in a fancy suit

*jumps on a plane with almost no plan on getting inside*

why did tom cruise think this was agood idea?

but like why would benji even open the ramp?

how is he not winded from that?

classic ethan

THE INTRO 1000/10

SOLOMON LANE !!

wait you can already see lane in the record shop.

how do they tell the agents these little convos?

also damn way to give it away

what if someone just looked in that room and saw the secret message?

also how did the disc get changed? because the imf definitely didnt make that

and how did lane know where he was going?

speaking of lane---

dang that man is pretty

he always sets guns down carefully

i can only see alec baldwin as trump from his snl skits so i dont take hunley seriously ;-;

damn brandt needs to step it up. man keeps letting himself be inturrupted

bruh the imf is only luck

why did no one resrict his legs?

also why is janik such an asshole?

dang she cool !!

why does it take janik so long to get that gun?

bravo-echo 1-1

this man is bleeding but decided instead of taking care of his wound he calls brandt.

i like how you actually see ethan worried and confused trying to plan his next moves. he is rarely caught off guard so it's refreshing to see his more human side

hunley spitting accusations damn bro

also a big fuck you from ethan to hunley

dang ethan is good

brandts little hidden smile

and ethan leaving trails

bitch how you sketch that good???

STAN BENJI !!

youve won, your way out of a job

benji is good

my little brandt x benji shipper in me is happy

simon pegg is such a good actor

the first time i saw this i was like: aww noooo

all dunn with that

TO THE OPERA !!!

TUX BENJI TUX BENJI

i cant tell if that was ethan

it just looks like youre talking to yourself thats more sus than using a phone

want drama? go to the opera

ok but like if you look like that im sorry you are a bad guy. thats like a stereotypical bad guy face

benji-

you can see ethan in the background of that scene

flute gun flute gun

oh no benji is in the closet. dont worry man we love you

if i were there and i just had a good vantage point i could find lane in an instant

ooh ilsa pretty

pipe gun

also pamphlet computer

those key things are cool and plausible

spiderman spiderman does whatever, ethan hunt can?

a W O M A N

what W O M A N?

reminds me of a marshmallow gun i made out if pvc pipes.

why does she not put that thing back?

also the dude loads it and then later it is unloaded

dang that guy is pretty tall.

ethan is so tiny

dis bitch is like uhh gimmie a sec to catch my breath mate

why he only dropkick people?

only 30 mins in ?!?!

the cinematography is exquisite

yes benji goin sicko mode

*gets shot* just a flesh wound

bruh i would've been so startled at that

i love how confused he is at that

ilsa saves ethan once again

they did this on the first day of filming

skdjs

ah yes random package in car = not bomb totally

if she tried to shoot benji then yes she is a bad person

but she didnt try to, she could've easily but didn't

benji being paranoid

she could just say the dude's name

benji being scared

hunley jumping to conclusions

brandt actually cares yeey

why di they approach from different sides of the street they were in the same car.

benji was far away from the sparks why he flinch?

friendship goals

oop plot dump that only mission impossible can get away with

ok...

why this mf's voice so smooth

lane is struggling with chopsticks

also lane :))))

ive chocked on my water so many times watching this scene

lanes voice :))))))

SHE RUINED HIS SUSHI WHAT THE FUCK ILSA

this man dont know what personal space is

gotta look up these peeps mbti types

casablanca references

also benji is wearing dollar store lookin glasses while ethan is wearing some fancy glasses

luther is top notch

as much as i dont like jeremy renner he delivers these lines really well

because atlee is a bitch

oh honey please, impossible is a walk in the park

benji just wants to wear a mask

id be so nervous walking through those

yes...

personal wellbeing who?

why not bring a plastic bottle full of air?

tom cruise can hold his breath for 6 minutes and he learned to do so for that scene

luther big brain

damn cctv

why did they need to break in while benji was going in?

das sus but ok

also isnt et voila french?

she just randomly tapping the ipad

benji being stressed

if he missed the exact center

i want one of those to open my locker's lock

if he just went with the current and didnt try to force his way against the water ilsa wouldn't have had to save him

imagine if he put the wrong one in-

she is breathing heavily to over saturate her body with oxygen so she can hold her breath longer

see ilsa makes it out without well and she went with the current

BENJI'S OUTFIT YESSS :))))))

no you didn't

you gave her a false sense of security

ethan's confused face for the next like 10 mins is great

liar

why does that one man look like sean ambrose?

parkour

skdjdksjdjdkfjs

the facial acting in this

STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS

the glare yesss

vrrrm vrrm

hey its you !

drivin like a grandma

shit !

benji just screaming

im convinced that ethan is indestructible

no you didn't survive that

bonk

dskfh

ethan didnt just-

also why didnt benji just tell ethan he made a copy ???

dont shoot and drive kids

high speed motorcycle chase with no helmet or leather. tom cruise, how?

i wanna learn how to drive a motorcycle

HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD YET ?!?!

the lighting

ofc brandt would be the person why sits backwards on a chair. fkn bi vibes

benji to the rescue

fuck off atlee

i am so proud of us ...

the lines are done so well here

benji lookin like how i look when my parents argue

YES THIS SCENE

LANE LANE LANE LANE LANE

im too fucking gay for this movie-

once again no personal space

*inhales* :))))))))))))))

ive like memorized the entire script of this including the music

1 man performance of m:i5 ???

benji's outfit

also i love how youre able to see the characters in the background. props for the attention to detail

i need that haircut because his hair is lookin A+

fuck you atlee

ilsa spitting straight facts

uhh ilsa he still loves julia

NO BENJI NOOOO

EW FUCK OFF JANIK NO ONE LIKES YOU

speak of the devil-

betrayal--

WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY !??

actin sus

BENJI LANE BENJI LANE

his posture shdhskhsj (i cant be talking though)

0 personal space whatsoever

why does everyone have the same haircut in this???

simon mcburney pretending to be hunt prentending to be atlee

manipulation !?

the syndicate you say ? i know a thing or two about them 😼😼😼

damn though renner delivers these lines really well

a black tie? how informal. ..

complimenting hunt right infront of him

but he really didnt

i never realized that they were on the clock for this

huh...

the lil head nod though-

HAHA YEAH FUCK YOU ATLEE

is it bad that i hate atlee more than i hate lane?

ethan big smart wrinkle brain

janik just reading a fucking magazine

ethan has a photographic memory

oh look its benji :)))

lane :))))

ethan being tough

it must be aquward to get the low angle shots

lane is running out the clock to put pressure on ethan hmmm big brain

it isnt working though :\

damn he so cocky that hes telling the villain his plan

ill give you 1/5 of the money you wanted to get my bf back

ok but like does tom cruise just not age?

kill the woman

ugh i hate janik

the trust that is shown between those two is great

yes the score and the chase are so great

also this man really hates windows for some reason

fuck off janik

sneaky sneaky

EYY ITS LANE !!!

yeyy janik is dead

once again dodging bullets and hating glass

couldve killed him but needed him alive

the glass box

badass ethan

all the pretty men assembled

lane really let himself go aster this

dang though lane is my favorite villain ever

i like how for once the girl and the guy just are friends instead of romantically involved

eyy the callbacks to how the movie started.

welcome to the imf

[the-duke-of-nuts]

The Battle Over Wine

 After 3 months I’ve finally gotten around to finish writing one of the Loceit headcanons/prompts as a oneshot! This is the first fanfic I’ve ever written that’s in actual sentences and not in script form so forgive the MANY grammar mistakes and shitty plot for I am terrible at writing and don’t know how spacing works on Tumblr (*cough* Betas hit me up *cough*) ANYWAYS literally nothing in this makes sense but it’s fanfiction so roll with it. Hope you enjoy I guess!

Prompt/Headcanon by the amazing royalty of Sanders Sides headcanons/prompts @imma-potatoo: Janus and Logan constantly battle over which wine is better (they are both wine moms) Janus says red wine, Logan says white. They can and will get into hour long debates over this

Pairing(s): Loceit, Background Dukexiety

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Alcohol, Arguing, Blood mention (Nothing major just comparing the color to wine), Remus being Remus (Let me know if there's anything else)

It was a typical day at the mindscape for the Braincell Gays. They had just finished filming a video with Thomas about helping him with his mental health and his overworking issues. Janus thought both of their inputs and solutions were a success and decided to have some celebratory wine with Logan.

"Today was a success, wouldn't you say darling?" Janus said wrapping his arms around Logan's waist. "I must admit, today was pretty satisfactory, especially since we both helped Thomas with his dilemma and we were both actually listened to for once." Logan replied wrapping his arms around Janus' neck. Janus smiled and pressed a quick soft kiss against Logan's lips to which Logan of course reciprocated. "I say this calls for a celebration." Janus said. "What did you have in mind?" Logan asked, curiously. Janus smirked and summoned two empty wine glasses "I think you know~" "Ah yes, how can I forget your traditional celebratory wine." Logan playfully rolled his eyes. 

"Oh you know you love it".

 "You're correct about that." Logan chuckled.

 Despite both of them having "serious" and "professional" demeanors around the other sides they enjoyed the little moments where they can actually goof off and make each other laugh and smile during their alone time.

 "So, what will it be for the menu for today my love? Will it be the best and most savory of flavors of Roscato red wine, or are we feeling a little fancy and want to celebrate with champagne instead?" Janus asked. "Oh, well I was thinking we should have something far much more adequate like white wine." 

The sound of glass shattering immediately followed after Logan’s response,

 "I beg your pardon?" Janus stared in disbelief trying to process what his lover had just said. Logan, his darling, the light of his life, his beloved, had just disrespectfully claimed that WHITE wine was better than red in his own home! Well, their home and the other sides' home but that's besides the point! This is wine they're talking about here! "Well, I thought I made myself clear but I shall repeat myself, I said that I was thinking we should have something much more adequate than red wine which I suggested white instead." 

Janus took a deep breath in trying to keep his composure

 "Starling?"

"Yes Janus?"

 "You know I love you right?"

 "Of course I do, you show and tell me everyday."

 "Well you're making it reeeeeal hard for me to want to show and tell you right now." 

"Why? Is it because I was simply stating facts that white wine is much more superior than red?" Logan crossed his arms raising an eyebrow. "Those are NOT facts those are lies! Red wine is much more tastier than white wine!" Janus argued. "Yeah, if you have a figurative bitter tooth! Red wine is way too bitter and the sweetness isn't as flavorful as white wine!" Logan argued back. 

"Y'know considering the fact that we have to deal with 4 other nincompoops in this damn house you'd be glad that red wine is stronger than white!"

"Janus, just because red wine contains more ABV than white wine doesn't make it the better beverage!" 

"Oh says who!?"

 "The literal personification of LOGIC and literally anyone who isn't you!"

 "Okay you know what? That's it!" 

Janus has had enough of the ridiculous bickering and decided to take matters into his own hands by summoning himself, his darling nerd, and all of the other sides back in the same exact courtroom him and Patton were in trying to convince Thomas to go to the wedding or callback. 

"We're going to settle this debate once and for all!" Janus dramatically pointed at Logan. "Janus, this is ridiculous! Who exactly are we defending for this to be a courtroom scenario!?" Logan glared at his lover. "Ourselves and the law of wine!" Janus declared. "What the hell does that even mean!?" An annoyed, confused Virgil yelled from the jury box sitting next to Remus and Patton. "Hush Virgil the adults are talking." Janus said not taking his eyes off of Logan.

"We're the same age!" 

"ENOUGH chit chat and questions." Janus made Virgil cover his own mouth growing tired of his complaining and faced Roman "Now, your honor would you kindly read off the charges please?" "Oh, we're doing this again, well alright let's see here uh, The state of Logan Sanders yadda yadda yadda, Janus, prosecuting for the state of Logan Sanders, under oath, information makes that Logan Sanders... Count one: Unlawfully and disrespectfully claimed that one alcoholic beverage was better than the other. Count two: Has terrible taste in drinks but better taste in men. Count three: Being too damn attractive for this world. Count four: Making Janus break two perfectly good wine glasses. Count five: Unlawfully not participate in self care by leaving his books all over the floor whenever he falls asleep while doing heavy research when he's supposed to be taking a break causing Janus to place a bunch of bookmarks in said books and put them away for him." Roman read off the charges Janus summoned him. 

"And how exactly were those last four charges relevent?" Logan asked. "Because they are and you know it! Your honor, continue." Janus said. "Being so charged, Logan Logic Sanders, how do you plead?" "Not guilty." Logan said deadpan. "Count six for being too confident in that answer." Janus coughed out. 

Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head, he didn't know who was more dramatic, Roman or his lovable self care wine loving snake.

"To make this quick and effective we're going to skip the other nonsense and get straight to the point by giving our UNBIASED views to each person and have them decide to see if Logan is truly a horrible wine 'expert'." Janus said as he arrived at the front of the courtroom 

"Alright, fair enough. Prosecution, your first witness." 

"I would like to call Remus to the stand!"

Remus appeared in the witness stand and immediately stood up and was about to jump over it and run "I can't go back to jail!" "Sit down Remus you're not going to- Wait what do you mean back?" Janus looked at him after doing a double take. "Nothing! So uh what's the question?" Remus immediately sat back down trying to change the subject. 

"Alright Remus, red or white wine?" 

"That's it?" 

 "That's it." 

"Alright, uhh hmm..." 

Remus thought about it thinking of the possible outcomes that could happen if he chose a certain answer. Janus noticed him struggling to make a choice and had an idea and smirked 

"You know Remus, if you're having a hard time deciding, just putting this out there, red wine looks like you're drinking blood and I think you enjoy that thought VERY much~" Remus gasped and instantly became excited by the thought "OOH! You're right! I could even add bone shaped ice to give it that realistic crunching sound!" "Objection persuading the witness with a biased opinion." Logan said. "Overruled. It's not really persuading since we ALL know my brother actually enjoys anything gruesome like that regardless." "I sure do!" Remus cackled at Roman's statement. 

Logan sighed a little frustrated, this was going to be harder than he thought.

"I think I rest my case your honor." Janus smirked and blew Logan a kiss as he walked back to his table to sit down. Logan blushed and shook his head to quickly snap out of it and walked to the front and cleared his throat as he adjusted his glasses and tie 

“Remus."

 "Nerd."

 "You enjoy pranking and getting on Janus' nerves is that correct?"

 "Yes that is VERY correct." Remus snickered. 

"And you despise when he forces you to partake in proper hygene as well as making you eat actual ingestible foods unlike deodorant and other non edible items?”

"Yeah."

 Remus crossed his arms hating remembering the times Janus would force him to take a bath and purposely safety locking the cleaning supplies cabinets just so he had no other choice BUT to eat regular food. 

"You also are not how they call a 'lightweight'?"

 "Nope!" 

That was a lie. Remus could drink three cups and he'd already become a drunk chaotic mess.

"Okay, so hear me out here." Logan started and Remus leaned forward becoming interested in what he was about to say. "Remus, white wine is clear therefore you can always "pretend" that you're drinking water so Janus doesn't question it for self care reasons nor harass you about it." 

Remus went wide eyed at the realization and wagged his finger at Logan. "You... I like you... Keep talking."

 Logan smirked, he got Remus right where he wanted him and continued. 

"Also if you were to spill it there would be no noticeable stain therefore making it impossible for Janus to become upset."

"Wow, you make some VERY compelling points Four Eyes."

 "Objection! I don't appreciate you persuading my son with your biased statements by using me as examples." Janus interjected. 

"Janus, Remus is not your son!" 

"You're right, my apologies. I don't appreciate you persuading OUR son with your biased statements by using me as examples."

 Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head not wanting to bother arguing with Janus about his logic. 

"I believe I've made my points your honor." Logan walked back to his table. "Alright, can I go now?" Remus asked. "Almost Remus. We just need to know your final answer, then you may leave and sit back down with the other two." Janus answered. "Okay umm on one hand I very much LOVED Jan's point about how red wine looks like you're drinking blood buuuut I would have to go with Nerdy Wolverine on this one and choose white wine because I enjoy pissing Janus off." 

"Yes!" Logan whispered victoriously to himself. 

"Oh you rat son of a bitch of course you would-"

 "Language!" Patton interrupted. 

"English."

 "Spanish! Now you!"

 "German. No! We're not doing a word association game!" Janus yelled frustrated. "Aw, what's the matter my charming smooth scaled serpent? Realizing you're losing against Logic?" Logan smirked. "NO and don't you dare flatter me using snake related petnames when you're looking like that in a suit!"

 Logan smirked at Janus' flustered expression, "Alright, then bring out your next witness then." "I will! Remus, you can leave now." Finally!" A relieved Remus announced as he summoned himself back at the jury box. Janus summoned Roman to the witness stand wanting to get straight to the point. 

"Roman?"

 "Yes Janaconda?"

 "You're the romantic one out of all of us correct?" 

"Oh my god you already know he is just get to the point!" Virgil yelled from the jury box slowly losing his patience even more. "Since you are an expert on the matter, would you mind sharing with the court which wine do you think is more romantic on a date?" "Oh that's easy, obviously red wine." "Interesting, care to elaborate?" Janus smirked and glanced at Logan. "Of course! Imagine having a romantic candle lit dinner under the stars or a picnic date watching the sunset, red wine gives those beautiful moments of being with your beloved partner a general relaxing and romantic atmosphere and it also tastes marvelous with various different foods. I'm actually quite surprised Specs didn't side with red wine considering it's good for digestion." Roman stated. "Wow, you really ARE a romantic expert! I don't think I have any further questions." Janus smirked and walked back to his table. 

Logan went wide eyed there's no way he can convince Roman, his answer was obviously clear but it's worth a shot. 

"Roman, have you ever considered white wine being just as “romantic” as red?" 

"Not really no."

 "Okay, well uh it can because-"

"Logan, I know you're trying here but trust me I know what I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, white wine is just as delectable as red but I'm gonna have to side with Janus on this one." Roman interrupted and summoned himself back on the judge chair. Logan sighed and walked back to his table, he knew by the amount of confidence in Roman's answer there was no convincing him. "Fair enough..."

"Alright, Prosecution next witness?" Janus decided to summon Patton in the witness stand next and smiled innocently clasping his own hands together "Patton~" "Uh I know this is probably a really bad time to bring this up now but um I don't really drink wine so I don't really have an opinion..." Patton blushed a little embarrassed. Janus sighed frustrated and put his head down on the podium and summoned Patton back in the jury box "Of course you don't." 

There was only one person left and that person was Virgil, it was 2 out of 2 and his choice would be the one to officially break the tie and put an end to this illogical ridiculous debate trial. 

Janus summoned Virgil in the witness stand " Alright Virgil, what do you think cause I'm sure we all know you don't have an important input." 

"You wanna know what I think!?" 

Virgil was fed up and snapped his fingers causing him and the other sides to appear back at the house and summoned two glasses of wine, one red and the other white. He shoved the glass of red wine in Janus' hand and the white wine in Logan's

 "I think the two of you dorks-" 

"Dorks. Whale penises am I right guys?" Remus interupted snorting. 

"-Should actually ACT like you both have a braincell and never debate about something as stupid as this ever again!" Virgil continued angrily. "Maybe the reason why they both don't have a braincell anymore is because they both fu-" Virgil interrupted his boyfriend from finishing his inappropriate sentence by covering his mouth and dragged him out of the room. Roman and Patton followed them not knowing what else to do. 

The Braincell Gays stood in awkward silence holding their wine glasses realizing their silly little arguement was stupid after all. 

"Truce?" Janus asked raising his wine glass. 

"Truce." Logan smiled and raised his glass as well. 

They both clinked their wine glasses together and drank their wine happily enjoying each other's company and soon made it up to each other by agreeing to have a self care day together the next day.

[b-rainlet]

📓📓📓📓

- the-scarecrxw

(Since you sent 4 of those emojis I'm gonna go off but I'll stick to one in this answer and make seperate posts for the others aksnsns)

I can't give you anything Jonathan centric (that isn't Tommy/Jonathan, one of my fave rarepairs) but Jerome features in lots of my AUs.

This one is one of my faves that's entirely self-indulgent and if it ever gets written it's probably gonna be the longest fic I ever published (Again: If it ever gets written):

I gotta apologize in advance, it's just a fun little AU I haven't put too much thoughts into in terms of plotting so this is gonna be A. Long, B. Messy and C. A little chaotic

- First off, you gotta understand that @nsfwitchy2 Me had some fun with a pretty nonsensical and definitely not canon-compliant AU where Jerome and Jeremiah have three Mums (Tabby, Lee and Barbara, who all date) and live with them and Barbara Lee as their little sister.

- Ecco also lives with them, she sees herself as both the twins' gf more than a genuine part of the family tho (for now)

- (Meanwhile at Wayne Manor Alfred and Jim date and are very tired parents of Bruce and his clone 514A, in this AU - and pretty much every AU - nicknamed Brook)

- (Selina kinda goes back and forth between living at Wayne Manor or at Lee's place)

- Also, everyone dates. The twins. The clones. Eccomiah, Jecco, Batcat, Valeyne, Wayleska, they're all fucking

- Which isn't THAT important for this particular AU but I figured I'd give a warning xD

- This is mostly my attempt to give Tabitha some more backstory? Just...how I personally see her character and how I could see her end up if things would've went differently after S2

- The google docs file is called 'How Tabitha started being a Mum while disregarding canon completely' lmao

- Like her current life involves having 4 kids (if you count Selina) and two wives and that's a hell of an AU and I just like to overthink things and play with the way things would have needed to have gone in canon to have her 'end up' like this

- Also I can see her struggling with having a family all if a sudden (that isn't a manipulative brother or a weird cult)

-Especially if that involves Motherhood

- So on one hand it's a 'S2 until now' fic, explaining what happened to her in my canon

- But also - mostly because I find that easier to organize in my brain - it's interwoven with a 5+1-esque fic of all her children calling her 'Mum' (and her getting emotional over that)

- So it switches back and forth between the past and the present but for rambling's sake, I'll start with the past

- She still leaves Theo behind and flees with Silver but she keeps Silver close instead of immediately sending her away

- And her and Silver get taken in by Fish after they leave Theo because they have nowhere to go and Fish loves taking care of strays

- (Fish, who probably didn't end up in Indian Hill but rather lives in hiding until she is ready to strike against Penguin)

- She refers to herself as Liza's Mother in canon, you can't tell me she wouldn't instantly adopt Tabby and call her 'Honey' and give her motherly advice while Tabby tries to be all bite but actually enjoys somebody taking care of her for once

- Selina🤝Tabby

'Trying so very hard all the time to not show how soft and insecure they are'

- Actually, I'd start diverting from Canon even sooner aksnsjd

- Well not full on changing canon, but I'd...pepper in some stuff

- Like some scenes of her back with Theo and the Maniax

- Mostly her talking to Theo about Jerome's planned murder, which, yeah, she knows it's been set in stone from the beginning but that doesn't mean that she isn't talking about alternatives where he doesn't get killed off

- And Theo's like "Don't tell me you're going soft. No one will miss him. He was just a boy. Not worthy enough to be remembered."

- And later on she betrays him and goes 'I remember him'

- Anyway, they stay with Fish for a while but Tabby doesn't wanna keep Silver in Gotham

- So she sends her back to the school she went to before coming to Gotham with Theo (but makes sure their weird cult can't get their hands on her there)

- And Silver wants her to come with but Tabby says she has some unfinished business

- Aka she just doesn't wanna leave Barbara (who is in a coma atm, if Memory serves right)

- And Tabby's reasoning is that it's not safe in Gotham but really, she thinks she can't be responsible for another person

- "She needs a mother. A Family. I can't give her that." - "You are her family."

- So Silver's out of the picture and Tabby hangs with Fish until Barbara wakes up and they get together again (and never ever seperate)

- Also there's no Butch/Tabby because that was unnecessary as fuck

- And I gotta be honest, I haven't thought more about canon because Butch/Tabby alone makes my head hurt already but somehow they start dating Lee

- Who brings Jerome into the relationship because I sure am fond of Lee being Jerome's Mother (like as in, I have several wips with that concept alone not counting this one)

- Jerome probably came back to life after S3 and Lee fought to have him not be treated like a violent criminal but rather a child who was taken advantage of and after his release from Arkham (where she visited him and made sure he got some proper treatment) it seemed natural to have him live with her

- (But also he's still a criminal aksnsjs, you can see how much I thought about this)

- (Sue me for sticking to the heartfelt scenes and avoiding the mess that is plotting)

- Tabby and Barbara already had Selina and through Jerome, Jeremiah and Ecco were added et voila! Their Family is complete

- (Why exactly Barbara Lee exists if Tabby and Barbara have been non-stop dating since S2 I can't tell you, I simply think she is neat and I like the idea of big brother Jerome)

- (This AU? Self-indulgent? Why would you ever think that?)

- In the present however she is dealing with what is mostly referred to as 'feelings'

- Mostly panic at realizing that the bunch of weird children she's been living with are seeing her as some kind of parental figure

- Because suddenly they all call her 'Mum'

- Unsurprisingly the first one to call her Mum is Jerome at breakfast

- She's reading the newspaper and there's an article about a hostage situation the twins planned and he goes 'Mum, are you done with that? Can we see?'

- And they snatch it from her and argue about how they didn't even make the front page while Tabby nearly chokes on her coffee

- And of course she breaks down talks to her wives about it later while they get ready for bed because no one ever called her 'Mum' before

- Barbara's braiding her hair, while Lee's off to the side, getting ready for bed and it's very domestic and I am very gay

- But neither see it as a big deal because both of them have been called Mum before (by Jerome at least. Like. Immediately upon meeting them)

- So she's trying to be nonchalant about it because it's only a big deal if she makes it one

- While also not being able to deny the warm feeling that spreads throughout her body when Jerome keeps calling her 'Mum'

- Miah and Selina on the other hand are both hesitant to call anyone Mum

- Miah cause of Pride, Selina cause of her Mummy Issues

- But they both do at some point

- I think I have more notes on this SOMEWHERE but I kinda wanna have Miah call her Mum while he's ill (because we all know he'd be super fussy and want attention 24/7)

- So she humours him and while he's close to falling asleep - and she's totally not carding her fingers through his hair because she isn't soft or anything - he mumbles: "Thank you Mum" and she melts

- Selina would be more angsty

- Like, maybe it's her birthday and she disappears for a while (as she tends to do) but Tabby (who's closest to her) knows how hard this day is for her (since again her Mum isn't there with here and looks for her and brings her back home but doesn't make a big fuss out of her birthday

- Just...lets her be, gives her space but also lets her curl up close to her and maybe Selina doesn't call her Mum on that exact day

- But it's the day she realizes she wouldn't mind calling Tabitha her Mother, so she hesitantly tries it out a while later (maybe days, maybe weeks, however long it takes for her to feel comfortable with it) and they share a smile

- Then there's Barbara Lee, but she barely counts because she's a toddler and calls everyone 'Mummy'

- Even her father ajsnsnsn

- The last one would be Ecco because I have a very soft spot for Tabby and Ecco being close

- Ecco's rather formal with them for the longest time (she calls Barbara, Lee and Tabby 'Ma'am' for the most part because she may like them, but she doesn't think they see her as family. She's just the token girlfriend).

- So there's a scene where they connect, possibly over Tabby's hand and Ecco's head since I hc that Ecco gets headaches and migraines a lot (considering that she still gets shot in the head by Miah, like I said, this AU isn't necessarily the most bullet proof in terms of linear timelines)

- But so is Gotham so-

- So there's possibly a scene where Ecco's headache is getting super bad and no one's around (especially not Miah to dote on her) and Tabby awkwardly tries to bond by telling her about her hand and how she can't feel much (is a little clumsy with it) and Ecco immediately imprints on her like a duckling

- Maybe it's even the first time anyone reached out to Ecco in a way that feels genuine, especially without the twins or any of her (various) other partners being present so now she's willing to die for Tabby

- Which ends in her also calling her 'Mum' (while she keeps calling Lee and Barbara 'Ma'am' and Lee's so mad ajsnsjdj she was trying so hard to bond with this kid but couldn't quite get it right and you're telling her her socially pretty clumsy - but still wonderful of course - wife managed with just one conversation?? Slander

- And of course because I can't stop myself, there would be even more tidbits here and there of Tabby overcoming her previous way of living (as in, thinking caring or showing emotions is weakness) by having her reminisce a LOT about Theo

- For example by having Jerome climb into bed with her while Barbara's sleeping and Tabby is waiting for Lee to come home

- Lee works as a doc in the narrows which may be a little illegal, but the people didn't just stop needing help after her Queen of the Narrows arc was over, so I vote she keeps at it (and is held in very high regard for it by pretty much everyone)

- Tabby always stays up until everyone is home because she likes knowing where everyone is and that they're safe while Jerome has frequent nightmares and wanders around the house, so this isn't a rare occurrence

- And sometimes, they talk Theo

- "You miss him?" - "Don't know."

- "I wish he was still alive so I could kill him." - "....Me too." - "Which one?" - "...Both."

- (ajajsbssj this is all just copy pasted and cleaned up a lil', leave me and my pretentious way of writing dialogue alone)

- Tabby also has a lot of interludes where she thinks about what growing up with Theo was like/her childhood in general

- How she always protected him from other children bullying him and how they swore to have each other's back but how in hindsight, she was the one doing all the dirty work for him, helping him fulfill his dream and enact his revenge

- Realizing that he probably never cared for her, not like she cared for him

- There's also allusions to them having sex because you cannot tell me they did NOT have sex

- And it ends with Tabby realizing that she is quite happy with how she ended up, even if it's neither how she thought she would ever live nor what her old self would've even wanted, possibly seeing too many attachments as 'weak' judging by the way she canonly used Butch for convenience sake at first

- And yeah, maybe now she can provide the family - the Mother - somebody else desperately needs

- So she brings Silver home

[florbexter]

Blume, I think Thara is a chaotic king, but apart from that he's a bit too "perfect". I want Frong to see his vulnerable side or his dark side so they can be on more equal terms.

I think it’s true that, for now, we haven’t really seen a vulnerable or dark side of Thara beside him opening up about his father but it was, again, in the context of him comforting Frong. I thought long about what his dark side could be and I hope you like this little story ^.^

Darkness is just an illusion || [AO3 Link]

Thara felt the pulse of the man under his fingers, the nervous flutter, spiking, the rate faster and faster the more pressure Thara put on his neck. He was bigger than Thara, almost a head taller, but there was sweat on his temple and his eyes showed fear.

It was a paradox, Thara thought, or maybe not. Someone who put drugs in other people’s drinks was a coward, the scum under the scum, not someone who would stand his ground. He had tried to argue against Thara’s accusations but the little bottle they had found in his jacket and Bohn who had seen him putting the stuff into Boss’ drink wasn’t something he could go against.

Bohn was ready to go for blood and the way he had his hands around the man’s collar was threatening, the way he yelled into his face and it seemed weird, Thara thought, that he didn’t seem to realize that Thara had his hand around the man’s throat. A little more pressure there Thara thought and stared at his own fingers. A little more pressure and there would be unconsciousness. Easy as that. He knew exactly where to—

“P’?”  

Frong stood in the door that led to the corridor they were all assembled in, next to him a short woman with dyed red hair, it shone like a halo with the light behind her coming from the main room of the bar. She looked petit, but her eyes were fixated on the man against the wall and it was a mixture of murderous intent and tightly contained rage.

“P’?”, Frong said again and his eyes laid on Thara’s hand. Thara wasn’t sure why he didn’t immediately snatch his hand away. Maybe it was the voice in his head that wasn’t satisfied with the outcome of this. That this was his to deal with.

“Did they call the police?”, he asked, and the bar owner looked over to him briefly. Two men, giants, tall as well as broad appeared behind her.

“We are going to take care of him,” she said, and as Bohn wanted to argue Frong seemed to have enough of the situation and took both of them by their arms and dragged them with him.

“I wasn’t done with him!”, Bohn yelled and Frong let go of his arm to push him softly away.

“Boss is throwing up,” he said and nodded towards the gathering of their friends around Boss. His complexion was damp and ashy, he visibly shook and was bent over a bucket. It didn’t take more for Bohn to switch from angry to concerned and he quickly walked away.

Frong’s other hand was still around Thara’s wrist and it was the same hand he had had around the man’s throat and he stretched his fingers, startling Frong into looking down.

There was a frown between his eyebrows, but no disgust just concern, and Thara felt the need to say something. He didn’t even know what he would say. An apology, an explanation? But before he could open his mouth Frong looked up again and tugged him along.

“You should look after Boss. Duen has already called an ambulance.”

And just like that, a switch flipped inside Thara and he took over Boss’ care until the paramedics arrived.

At the hospital, he handed the little bottle over, so they would know what they were dealing with, and during all of it— During reassuring a distressed Mek that everything was going to be okay. During explaining to the ER doctors what happened. During the hours of waiting for the drugs to flush out of Boss’ system, during all of it Frong made sure to stay as close to Thara as possible. Whenever they stood or sat next to each other he touched him. He entwined their fingers, put his hand on Thara’s shoulder, pressed their thighs together or even just laid a warm hand on the small of Thara’s back.

Frong didn’t avoid touch. They had held hands or had greeted each other with a peck on the lips in public often enough that Thara knew he wasn’t against public display of affection, but this level of tactile contact was new. Not that Thara was complaining.

He just was confused.

Frong had seen him choking that guy, right?

They waited until they were told Boss was okay and that he would stay overnight. Bohn and Duen went first to pick up some clothes for Mek and Boss, followed by Ram and King, and when they climbed into a taxi Frong asked him softly: “Are you okay?”

And maybe he should have waited until they weren’t in a car together with a stranger but Frong’s calmness irked him.

“Not really,” he murmured and looked down when Frong intertwined their fingers on the middle seat. He didn’t retreat his hand.

It was grounding.

“Yeah… that was frightening what happened to Boss. It was luck that Bohn saw what happened.”

“Yes,” Thara confirmed slowly, “and…”

Was Frong being oblivious on purpose?

“You saw what I did, right? It wasn’t that dark in the hallway.”

Frong threw him a look and nodded. He started to caress Thara’s hand with his thumb and looked ahead again.

Thara felt his heart in his throat because he knew Frong wanted to say something. Had he just concealed his concerns?

“It’s nice,” Frong said and the little movements of his thumb on Thara’s hand was almost hypnotic. He tilted his head, and the street lamps of Bangkok illuminated his face in an uneven rhythm. “Maybe not nice… but reassuring.”

Thara raised an eyebrow. “Reassuring that I,” he quickly glanced towards the taxi driver and bent to get closer to Frong and murmured, “reassuring that I almost choked someone?”

“Do you mean that instead of almost you definitely defended someone? That you put a stop to someone being hurt?”

“I wasn’t…” But he couldn’t end his sentence as they stopped at the curb of Frong’s dormitory and the driver turned towards them to collect his fee. Thara hadn’t even realized that Frong had told him the address of his residence.

+++

“You make it sound nicer than it was.” Like he had been some hero. Frong looked at him through his reflection in the mirror, toothbrush in his mouth, and just raised an eyebrow. Yeah. Maybe continuing their conversation while Frong was unable to answer wasn’t the best idea, but he needed to say some stuff without Frong trying to dismantle them.

“I was ready to hurt that man! Ready and willing.” He heavily sat down on the toilet seat. It was a very small bathroom so he essentially blocked Frong’s way who could either step over Thara’s legs or sit down on his lap. He did neither. He turned and leaned against the tiny sink.

“I’m a med student,” Thara said and willed Frong to understand, “I’m not supposed to want to hurt someone.”

Frong continued to brush his teeth and seemed to wait for Thara to say something else but everything that had been in his mind was gone. Because in the end, it boiled down to him not being allowed to have those urges. It doesn’t matter how he voiced it. It was wrong.

“Let me ask you this,” Frong said finally and put his toothbrush back in the holder next to Thara’s. “If they brought the man in now, and you would work in the emergency room, and he was injured… would you help him?”

“Of course,” Thara said because that wasn’t the point and—

“You would treat him because you want to be a doctor because you want to help people regardless of what you already know about them… I think it’s allowed for you to be a human being and feel human emotion especially when your friends are involved. No one wants you to be a robot. You will have to make tough decisions soon enough, don’t beat yourself up about this.”

Thara sighed and stared down at his hands.

“Do you think they ‘took care of him’?”

Frong shrugged and pushed against Thara’s legs with his own until Thara made space for him to stand between them.

“It’s a gay bar. In the end, even if they called the police, we always have to look out for us ourselves, right?”

Thara mhmmed and put his forehead on Frong’s stomach, which was surprisingly comfortable for the sixpack-situation going on under his shirt.

“What did you mean with reassuring when we were in the taxi?”, he asked, because that had sat in the back of his mind since Frong had said it. Itching and irritating.

He felt how Thara bent a bit over him and put his hands on his shoulder, massaging the tension in Thara’s back with gentle strokes.

“It’s reassuring that you have vulnerable moments too.”

“I’m plenty vulnerable,” Thara murmured. What was Frong talking about?

“You like to solve my problems, yes, but that doesn’t mean that you are as vulnerable with me as I’m with you.”

“It’s my j—”

“If you were going to say it’s your job, I will kick you out. I’m not your job.”

Thara pressed his lips together. He wanted to say that. He felt responsible for Frong, for his wellbeing, for his happiness.

“I’m part of this relationship, too,” Frong murmured and the tone of his voice told Thara that he had wanted to say this for a long time now. “You can be vulnerable with me.”

Thara knew that. But it was hard.

He breathed in, smelled the bar on Frong, the aftershave he used, a bit of the minty toothpaste. Took another deep breath and tried to breathe the tension out.

“I wanted to hurt him so badly,” he finally whispered, a broken sound, the words more slurred than pronounced and Frong was still bent over him, like a warm cage of reassurance, his hands on Thara’s back and the warmth seeped through his shirt.

“I know,” he murmured. “Me too.”

 end

[cryptidshuffle]

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke?  For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately.  ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.