#the beatles movies

[crepesuzette2023]

I’ve seen other people ask other blogs on who they’d cast for the boys. So now I ask you, who would you cast for all four of them ?

I'm thinking it would have to be four unknown-to-the-world-at-large actors. They can't be pre-famous, that would introduce too much noise to the system. They must inhabit the Beatles, and the Beatles must inhabit them.

For accent reasons they should probably be from Liverpool, but that would be too Beatle-y. I would prefer them to have no relationship to each other and the Beatles prior to filming, and then to be gradually devoured, yet strengthened, by the project. Think the Lord of the Rings movies, but with music instead of Orcs.

I want the making of the movies to make adults of the actors. I want the experience to meld their hearts together; I want it to provide them with a shared language for the rest of their lives, and also with private memories of undefinable erotic attraction admitted and acted upon—like the real Beatles, but in a healthy 'they went their separate ways towards fulfilling careers afterwards and maintained a [positively loaded adjective of choice] relationship with each other'-way.

I want their autobiographies to have titles like, To the Top and Back, and other things you can do with a Bowler Hat.

Also, I'm sorry, but after the movies are done, the actors decide independently of each other they will never act again—having done what was needed.

No matter their gender, they will have to be young and free enough to embrace the homoerotic subtext, and mature enough to be camp in precisely measured doses.

The person playing Pete Best will have to be the most handsome, irrelevantly so, and Brian will have to be played by a young Leonardo di Caprio. (Cloning, breeding, time travel, just make it work.)

The Paul person must be as angelically pretty as the real Paul, but also appropriately asymmetrical face-wise, furry, and upsettingly long-limbed. Soft spoken and confidently whorish. Should at the very least be able to credibly mime mastery of any instrument (wink nudge) shoved into his face. Obviously must be left-handed.

John: *must* be slightly shorter than Paul, and able to shift from silly and bendy to the immovable Leader Lennon stage stance. Also must be able to hold forth at length without anyone losing interest, melt camera lenses by staring them down, instill unease in parents far and wide, and mess up lyrics in exactly the right way. Final test: add an edge of genuine menace to singing the line "a bad little kitten moved into my neighborhood."

George: everything he says is so dry and sharp it ends the scene—a challenge for the writers. Eyebrows. Will say what the audience thinks and voice what they feel, which is why his movie will be the most anticipated and also the most hilarious. Must be able to glower intensely enough to make roses wither on the vine, then smile brightly enough to shame the sun. A French pastry chef's knowledge of chocolates and treats is a plus.

Ringo: For fuck's sake, make sure he can actually handle himself on drums. Ideally unconventionally and sensually hot in the way of the young Gael Garcia Bernal, but smarter, especially in the ways of human relations. Realistic stomach scars required. Must be able to sit and be present, oddly detached from the invisible battles raging between the other three, a calm pond of sanity, a focal point of anti-anxiety—yet capable of brittle humanity. Audition will include a performance of Boys.

if the movies don't work out they can record a song for Eurovision.

[oreolesbian]

don’t have full thoughts on the beatles biopic(s) castings yet, but charlie rowe as george is the one i love the most omg

[georgeharrisonsmiling]

[spiralinaa]

I THINK THEY ROLLED UP THE WRONG MYSTERY TOUR GUYS

[vitoriabas]

Made my favourite scene from Help! (1965) into a print. The original pencil drawing was done during lockdown and I must have been thinking that particular luxury midcentury surrealistic loft would not be too bad to be stuck in.

Get a copy!

[loveinstreams]

"unauthorized biography" "unofficial biopic" that's a big budget rpf fanfiction if you ask me

[wh0-is-lily]

'Marijuana,' (1968) & 'LSD and the Hallucinogens,' (1970)

[redwingrose]

Idk if anyone's mentioned this yet. But there's something unintentionally funny about the song that they picked for the Minecraft movie trailer being the title track to the Beatle's Magical Mystery Tour; a song for a film of the same name that, even after 60 years worth of re-evaluation, is regarded as one of the Beatle's biggest failures.

A sign of good things to come I'm sure.

[beatlesgirl1978]

Loved this scene 😁😁

Help! (1965) 

[k-wame]

JACOB FORTUNE-LLOYD & ED SPELEERS ↳ Midas Man (2024) dir. Joe Stephenson

[twigsyy]

[crepesuzette2023]

more thoughts on casting the Beatles movies

@pauls1967moustache convinced me that 2002 Winona Ryder is the right choice for John

I myself have long cast my vote for young unhinged Isabelle Adjani as Paul

How do we feel about Charlotte Gainsbourg as George?

[mioiom]

[javelinbk]

The Beatles in Help! (1965)

[mysweetgeo]

I did a Pinterest reverse image search to find the other three. Was pleasantly surprised and also found smaller scale versions of each.

Stop worrying! H E L P is on the way!

[your-fave-gets-saw-trapped]

John Lennon and Paul McCartney (the real world/the beatles) are in the Bathroom Trap (saw i)!

requested by anon!