#the bardic circle

[mirielvairenen]

It's Battle of the Pelennor Fields Day, and I'm just Shook by the Rohirric poem describing the battle (it's a long one, so strap in):

We heard of the horns in the hills ringing, the swords shining in the South-kingdom. Steeds went striding to the Stoningland as wind in the morning. War was kindled. There Théoden fell, Thengling mighty, to his golden halls and green pastures in the Northern fields never returning, high lord of the host. Harding and Guthláf, Dúnhere and Déorwine, doughty Grimbold, Herefara and Herubrand, Horn and Fastred, fought and fell there in a far country: in the Mounds of Mundburg under mould they lie with their league-fellows, lords of Gondor. Neither Hirluin the Fair to the hills by the sea, nor Forlong the old to the flowering vales ever, to Arnach, to his own country returned in triumph; nor the tall bowmen, Derufin and Duilin, to their dark waters, meres of Morthond under mountain-shadows. Death in the morning and at day's ending lords took and lowly. Long now they sleep under grass in Gondor by the Great River. Grey now as tears, gleaming silver, red then it rolled, roaring water: foam dyed with blood flamed at sunset; as beacons mountains burned at evening; red fell the dew in Rammas Echor.

If you've read any early medieval battle laments, especially Anglo-Saxon or Welsh, you know this poetry. The alliteration alone is incredible! And you name the lords who died, with a short description of their life or home or death, and you weep for all the slain. When I first read LOTR, I skipped these poems because I just wanted the story, but now! Tolkien didn't have to go this hard, but he did!

[mooreaux]

Silly questions ahoy. Sorry not sorry.

Who fell first, Deirdre or Gale?

Who fell harder?

Were there any things outside of the main romance plot beats that they had to overcome?

Do they have a Big Waterdhavian Wedding?

Well here is a real time pic of them realizing simultaneously that they were already neck deep in a romance without having clocked it up until that very moment

So much more rambling under the cut!

Deirdre and Gale started off as respectful colleagues. He had his little ‘o wow a warlock huh’ and she had her little ‘yeah what of it wizard boy?’ Both incredibly polite about it of course. They gravitated to one another immediately because they are both well read and spoken and kinda looked at the rest of their companions like

So in actuality they buddied up and then got teased relentlessly for being like an old married couple when neither one of them was even in the realm of romantic attraction. Gale because…. Bomb In Chest. And Deirdre having an internal incredibly well hidden behind bardic shenanigans PTSD nightmare from the horrors she witnessed during her imprisonment in Menzoberranzan.

It was only when they started sharing their magic; the weave scene, and the pic above with Dede sharing some fey vibes, that they started to shift from platonic to romantic. I would say Gale fell a little harder and faster because he just seems like that kind of person to me? Like he knows all the reasons he shouldn’t and that kinda unconsciously eggs him on even more. I’d say the crisis with Mystra’s order thru Elminster pushed them both into taking the step of actually admitting feelings tho. Dede couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. Especially to himself.

As for the last two questions… yeah. Gale’s big grand gestures got them into a bit of hot water during and post game. His constant need to prove himself worried Deirdre a lot about his self worth beyond what he could do for her. She had to go through a lot of talks with him to let him know he was enough. Just him. As he was. No magic or pageantry even tho she loves that about him too.

And of course, Dede has a TON of intimacy issues. A lot was done to her without her consent thru her life. Tadpole being the most recent offense. So she doesn’t really like surprises and has a hard time letting people in. Which is funny considering how bright and bombastic her personality is. She uses it mainly to cover the hurt. Not to say she isn’t well adjusted. She spent many many years with her patron working thru the stuff the lolthsworn drow did to her. Tadpole just kinda inflamed the wound again.

So yeah! I think it was actually several years before he even proposed. And several more after that until they got married. But the wedding was HUGE. Her family is gigantic and they have a wide social circle with the folk of Waterdeep, and Baldur’s Gate, and the Druid Grove which they still frequently visited. Gale went above and beyond constructing a castle out of flowers just for the occasion (dedes Patron helped).

Thank u so much for the ask Harding! I love my gnome gal (and i luv urs too)

[hushcaringdemons]

A Druidic Demonolator's Guide to Invocation

I have been asked many a times to kindly offer guidance on how to do ritual invocation for demonolatry. I will oblige those inquires now, and all future ones by revealing how I personally do invocations as a syncretic theistic Satanist and Druidic Pagan. This is only one individual’s example. Yours will surely be different based off of tradition, experience, and preference. (Please with all gratitude credit back to Hushcaringdemons when sharing.)

THE SACRED CIRCLE

In order to conduct ritual, one must call upon the elemental forces and balance the spiritual energies within and without you. This sacred space is brought into existence by the might of your own Will. It serves as a gateway between the Mundane and the Spirit World as well as a stabilizing force during your ritual workings (especially if this involves working with a spirit like a Daemon). Depending on the tradition, a wand or a ceremonial dagger is used to summon and direct energy. A hand with the pointer and middle finger extended can fill the role of a ceremonial tool if one is absent. A scared circle can be cast pretty much anywhere.

THE WATCHTOWERS

Watchtowers refers to the cardinal direction (East, South, West, North, and Center), their elemental association (Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Spirit), and the spiritual entities that represents them. Calling upon the spirit of the Watchtowers instills their power in your circle and rite. What spirit is called upon varies between traditions as well as practitioner preference. Direction and elemental associations are very open to interpretation, especially in the case of Pagan Gods where it is largely a modern invention. It is the metaphor that matters here.

THE WORD OF POWER

Choosing a Word of Power to shout at the end of prayers, blessing, or invocations serves as a release of spiritual energy in accordance to your Will. Give it focus and some oomph. Like Watchtower spirits, Power Words vary by tradition and preference. Examples include:

Amen - Useful for practitioners with leanings toward Traditional Ceremonial Magic. A Jewish word meaning "So Be It" inherited by Christianity and Islam. If one comes from a culturally Abrahamic background and is unbothered by that, it is a perfectly serviceable word.

Amun - It is a common falsehood in magic communities that the true origin of the word Amen comes from the name of Amun, a High God of Ancient Egypt whose dominion is the deepest and most hidden parts of the cosmos. I list it here as an example because calling upon the highest, and preferably most primordial, entity or force in your pantheon sends out your magic intent to those parts of the universe. For me, that name would be Satan who I view similarly representing the hidden and the primordial.

Awen - Useful for druidic practitioners such as myself. Awen is divine inspiration in the Welsh bardic tradition. Neo-Druids have expanded it to encompass the animating force of the universe.

A STANDARD RITUAL INVOCATION

Now, lets put all of the above components together. The following instructions will be using my personal invocation as a template.

Turn to face East, and use your ritual tool to point outward. Starting from the East, the direction associated with the sunrise and new beginnings, is a common way to start Sacred Circles through out traditions. Beckon:

“HAIL LUCIFER, Prince of the East. Spirits of Air anoint thee for thou art Truth and Enlightenment amoung them all. HAIL AND WELCOME.”

Turn to face South, and use your ritual tool to point outward. It is another common tradition to use clockwise motions in order to create. Beckon:

“HAIL ASMODEUS, Prince of the South. Spirits of Fire anoint thee for thou art Passion and Desire amoung them all. HAIL AND WELCOME."

Turn to face West, and use your ritual tool to point outward. Beckon:

"HAIL LEVIATHAN, Prince of the Wests. Spirits of Water anoint thee for thou art Chaos and Rebirth amoung them all. HAIL AND WELCOME."

Turn to face North, and use your ritual tool to point outward. Beckon:

"HAIL BELIAL, Prince of the North. Spirits of Earth anoint thee for thou art Filth and Fecundity amoung them all. HAIL AND WELCOME."

Hold your ritual tool high over your head, and state:

“HAIL SATAN, Master of Darkness. All Spirits are within thee.”

Say the following as you move clockwise, weaving all the elements and directions together with your ritual tool:

“Thou art the Adversary, the Black Goat, the Ram-Headed Serpent.

All that is Above, and all that is Below.

All that is Hidden Without, and what is Hidden Within.”

At this point you should have completed your circle. Hold your ritual tool high over your head again. Stand tall and proclaim:

“What is hidden in me! Myself! I am God!”

(This is technique I stole from LaVeyan Satanism. A little puffing up of the ego helps with energy building.) Maintain your erect pose as you conclude the invocation:

“By the Might of the Four Watchtowers

And by the Binding Power of the Baphomet,

I proclaim this ritual circle cast.”

Use your ritual tool to draw a sigil in the air such as the pentacle or pentagram, and declare:

“It is my Will, and it is Done.”

Complete the invocation with your Power Word. Congratulations, your Sacred Circle is cast, and you are now ready to proceed to your ritual.

[thisisnotthenerd]

follow up to my previous thoughts about the Aguefort Adventuring Academy:

i got more right than i expected, though there's definitely a lot that's being filled in around what we knew from freshman year.

Faculty Updates:

Introduced/Mentioned during the Episode:

Interim Principal: Emergency Backup Principal Arcturus Grix

This is definitely a construct of Aguefort's that's been reprogrammed to focus on an exact impression of "adventuring order".

Interim Vice Principal: Jace Stardiamond, the sorcery professor

Artificer Professor: Henry Something? The original name on payroll was Grunding Tomblast. (mentioned only, since Porter wouldn't recommend Gorgug)

Barbarian Professor: Porter Cliffbreaker. Suspicious and rude.

Bard Professor: Lucilla Lullaby (changed from music professor). Fey/Eladrin

Bardic Dance Teacher: Terpsichore Skullcleaver. Tiniest half-orc you've ever seen, always says what you need to hear even if it isn't what you'd expect.

Cleric/Religious Studies: Yolanda Badgood. Air genasi who broke up with a deity to pursue faith.

Fighter Professor: Corsica Jones (mentioned only, though we met her in the Seven)

Wizard Professor: Tiberia Runestaff. Originated in the Mountains of Chaos, very traditional old wizard now teaching the wizards of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Adaine desperately wants to impress her, and she gets called out for predictions.

We've gotten more information about the other professors though we already knew their names. Eugenia Shadow is the supposed rogue professor that must be found in order to get an A for the year.

Class Content:

For the Barbarians, Porter is an asshole that focuses on the destructive parts of rage rather than the protective elements.

We had a reference to Fighter classes and learning different fighting styles with Ms. Jones, though we didn't see it in this episode.

Cleric classes center around individual connection with a deity, as well as some discussion of spreading faith and proselytizing. Kristen is a very talented cleric who doesn't do homework and is struggling on her faith journey.

Rogue classes are more independent study; finding the professor is the win condition. If the class is based on self-motivated investigative work and research, I can understand why all of the rogues we've seen at Aguefort (Riz Gukgak, Penny Luckstone, Kipperlilly Copperkettle) are the way they are.

Bard Classes can come in a couple of different types: obviously there's the traditional class that Fig attended for the first time, as well as smaller concentrations like Fabian's dance class. The dance course seems to be a smaller track, with fewer students but a more intensive schedule. Granted, we're getting Fabian's multiclassed view of it, so it's not entirely accurate to the experience of a typical bardic dance student.

Wizard classes revolve around studying and practicing spells, as expected, but aren't taught with school endowed material components as I would have expected. Aguefort cares about a robust Wizard's education, but doesn't have classroom material components? He's making it a class of only privileged students. We can't have a poor wizard around here, can we.

Sidenote to that: we know now that Hudol places a focus on theoretical magic while Aguefort focuses on practical workings--actually practicing the skills needed to bind, conjure, enchant, etc.

Sidenote to the sidenote: I started looking into higher level wizard spells with high cost items as material components:

5th level:

create spelljamming helm (5000 gp crystal rod, consumed)

dawn (100 gp sunburst pendant)

legend lore (250 gp of incense, 200 gp of ivory strips)

infernal calling (999 gp ruby)

planar binding (minimum 1000 gp jewel, consumed)

scrying (1000 gp focus, such as a crystal ball, silver mirror, or font of holy water)

summon draconic spirit (500 gp object with engraved dragon iconography)

teleportation circle (inks infused with gems worth 50 gp)

6th level:

circle of death (500 gp black pearl)

contingency (1500 gp gem encrusted statuette)

create homunculus (1000 gp jeweled dagger)

create undead (150 gp black onyx stone per corpse)

drawmij's instant summons (1000 gp sapphire)

magic jar (500 gp gem/crystal/reliquary)

7th level:

create magen (500 gp quicksilver and human sized doll)

draconic transformation (500 gp dragon statuette)

forcecage (1500 gp ruby dust)

mordenkainen's sword (250 gp platinum sword)

plane shift (250 gp rod attuned to plane of choice)

sequester (5000 gp of diamond, emerald, ruby & sapphire dust)

simulacrum (1500 gp ruby dust)

symbol (1000 gp of mercury, phosphorus, diamond dust and opal)

8th level:

clone (1000 gp diamond, 2000 gp coffin/urn, cubic inch of flesh)

mighty fortress (500 gp diamond)

9th level:

astral projection (1000 gp jacinth + 100 gp carved bar of silver, per person affected)

gate (5000 gp diamond)

imprisonment (500 gp component per hit die of the target, changes depending on spell type: mithral orb for burial, precious metal chain for chaining, miniature jade prison for hedged prison, gemstone of corundum or diamond for minimus containment)

invulnerability (500 gp adamantine)

shapechange (1500 gp jade circlet)

so the request for 10 barrels of diamonds tracks; they need enough material components to be able to repeat the spells and practice them and that doesn't run cheap.

personal theory: when aguefort went to war with fallinel he pulled on the school's supplies of material components in order to cast on that scale, and he couldn't maintain it, so even stuff that wouldn't be consumed by the casting probably got dumped somewhere in fallinel or given away as reparations.

I'm also going to guess that in the lower grades, the students wouldn't be paying for everything, but rather paying something like a lab fee that took care of material components on a smaller scale.

Multiclassing:

There's a few things that have that this episode clarified:

If a student wants to multiclass on their transcript, they must fill out a request to their current class' professor in order to request a change to their courseload. The student may be prevented from attending their secondary or tertiary courses if their current professor believes that they cannot keep up with the increase in rigor, or if the student is underperforming in their current class. As shown with Porter, a teacher can technically refuse for other reasons (thinking the student isn't suited to the new class, or determining a lack of class compatibility). This recommendation is easier for some classes than others; it is simple to combine most martial classes, especially those that have compatible traits such as fighters and barbarians. However, it is difficult to combine classes that are prohibitive of each other; the example we have is Gorgug, since his barbarian rage prevents him from casting and holding concentration spells from his artificer levels in battle.

If they get approval, they must take the MCAT, or Multiclass Achievement Test, in order to prove competency in their secondary class. This functions as a way of proving that the student can enter the class at their current level and keep up with their peers.

Upon passing the MCAT, the student's courseload changes; rather than taking 4 semesters of one class, they will take 3 semesters of each class, presumably with some leveling to fit their particular split in multiclass. This results in a 150% courseload as opposed to single-classed students, with a high level of rigor, especially heading into the upperclassmen years

Quest Theory:

We got tacit confirmation from Brennan that the Bad Kids, and even the Seven are unusual for saving the world, when most Aguefort students are doing local dungeon crawls and going to school. This fits with my overleveling theory, especially if they're going to be going back to a major progression cycle as they did during freshman year. I highly doubt it, given the content and themes of this season, but I think the overall structure fits.

This also fits with my theory about D-F class quests; students may only need to complete one or more of these to pass the yearly quest. Technically, retrieving the Crown of the Nightmare King could have been considered a fetch quest, but there ended up being more to it than that. The Bad Kids haven't done traditional dungeon crawls, at least not from what we've seen. There are qualified adventuring parties in Spyre, but the Aguefort Adventuring Academy produces the 'premier parties of teen heroes' that go around addressing world-class threats.

The examples that we have of Solisian adventurers come from the Bad Kids' parents, and the Seven's parents. Sandra Lynn works with the Solisian rangers; the Applebees' (ew) work as paladins, guarding against threats from the Mountains of Chaos, presumably in tandem with the rangers. Karl Cleaver stayed with his party for decades--they went on a dungeon crawl in the 888th and 889th layers of the Abyss during the events of the Seven. There are adult adventurers, but it's made clear that they are dealing with everyday threats, while the teen heroes are out in the world causing problems and solving them.

To add to my previous theory: the Seven were given two weeks to investigate the disappearance of Tectonya Karkovnya and go on their GED quest. The Bad Kids got an extra week of spring break. This allowed them to get their world-saving done, but may have led to the accusations of special treatment.

Theories on the Season:

I'd wager that Kipperlilly and the Ratgrinders are trying to make Aguefort more egalitarian by getting rid of the Bad Kids' quest progress i.e. the reason they're overleveled and getting special treatment. The Rogue Professor seekign Kipperlilly out as opposed to her actually doing the work? Sounds like funny business to me.

Next episode is probably going to be the rest of the day of classes and the start of extracurriculars, based on the mentions of the bloodrush team and student government candidacy.

Riz looks like he's going to be in the driver's seat for seeking out the Bad Kids' academic and greater interests, though Fig is leaning in on the investigation of the Ratgrinders, and they're all full force on the presidential campaign. I think Gorgug's work as an artificer is going to come into play with the main plot if they're facing down the reprogrammed Arcturus Grix.

[busy-baker]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you lizard lady for the tag! @kalmiaphlox 💚

A little from chapter 7 of Roasted. Let’s throw some hands with Mystra.

4:03 a.m. Missed Call

4:19 a.m. Unknown Number: Please pick up

4:52 a.m. Unknown Number: You really think you can do this without me?

4:58 a.m. Missed Call

5:00 a.m. Missed Call

5:02 a.m. Missed Call

5:04 a.m. Unknown Number: Are you fucking someone else?

5:17 a.m. Unknown Number: Fuck you, Gale. You were always shit in bed anyway.

Gale stared bleary eyed at the blinding screen of his phone in the darkened room. Everything was quiet in his home except for the whispers of heat blowing through the vents and the faint snoring next to him from the man that had his face buried into the pillow and legs sprawled across the bed. He scrubbed at his eyes and placed his phone on the nightstand.

Early morning it is then, he thought.

Slipping from the bed, he put on his glasses and shuffled his way to the bathroom. He stared at his reflection while he washed his hands. Dark circles stained his under eyes from lack of sleep.

Mystra had been bothering him nonstop since he had let her go. At first it was a scathing email or random text to let him know he wouldn’t get anywhere without her, but as the days went on, the unwanted communication became more consistent. He had blocked her number, hoping it would deter her, but it seemed Mystra wouldn’t let things go and bought a new phone for the sole purpose of torturing him at all hours of the day.

Tagging: @bardic-inspo @emmy-dekarios-bg3 @ladyduellist @spagyricqueen @roguishcat

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 49

Jaskier is overworking himself to get everything ready before the deadline of the upcoming bardic competition is upon him. Geralt notices Jaskier struggling to write, staring off into space, the dark circles under his eyes and his queasy appearance, and decides to force the poor bard to take a lazy day with him.

[whimsiandwild]

Right

Pairing: OC Tav (Thom) x Astarion

Word count: Just under 1.2K

Synopsis: Thom is in a little over his head after being lured by succubi. Thankfully, a handsome vampire is all too willing to come to his rescue...

A/N: I know, I know: WHERE'S GORTASH?! Sometimes I don't do that. SOMETIMES.

This is just a silly little idea I had and wanted to share. I love Thom with my whole heart and I wanted to write more of him, and I also love BG3, so it seemed like a beautiful match. I might make this a series depending on the feedback. Enjoy!

Thom was not a stupid man, though some had called the point into question on many an occasion. However, he was a sucker for a beautiful face with come-to-bed eyes; he'd been played a fool before by many a handsome rogue or pretty maiden. He liked to believe that he was just a man too filled with love, but the reality was that he was a man driven more by libido than the brains the gods had allowed him.

The worst of it had been the deception. How had he let himself be strung along for so long? It seemed all too obvious to him now what he had been; a sacrificial lamb dragged to the slaughter. If he'd known his end would come from damned succubi, he'd have offered himself to the gods by his own hand.

On second thoughts, the worst of it was that he had been warned; he'd just chosen not to listen.

At the time, he'd enjoyed Astarion's jealousy; the vampire wasn't used to someone else being the centre of attention when he was present. Oh, how he would laugh if he could see Thom now. As a matter of fact, he was quite sure he could hear the very same laugh at that very moment.

"Oh dear, darling. I did warn you," Astarion gloated from somewhere behind him. "Takes a monster to know one."

Thom could almost hear the way the man's eyes rolled as the succubi hissed viciously at him.

"Ladies, you must realise that you're extravagantly outnumbered? Besides, the bard is mine."

There was something disgustingly feral in the way Astarion said the word; Thom felt it in every inch of his body.

It was with excruciating shame that he realised that the entire team must be here. Astarion could very easily have managed the three alone, he just loved an opportunity to prove he was right, especially at the expense of someone else's humiliation.

Within seconds, there was a cacophony of sound. Karlach's bestial roar; the clash of steel against steel as Lae'zel lunged at one of them, the monster pulling a dagger from her thigh; Gale's casual boasting as magic missiles almost clipped Thom's ears. But the most magnificent of them all was Astarion.

He moved with such grace, spinning constant circles around the screeching succubus until she was dizzy, It was a beautiful sight; like a dance you wished to be part of but were held back by some irrational fear. Flashes of silver shone just outside of Thom's vision, the only evidence of them the blood trailing from the woman's face and chest. Astarion was toying with her, enjoying the frustration he was building in her, and Thom was mesmerised.

"You're very lucky you're handsome, Thom. You'd never survive otherwise."

Thom flushed, being jostled as Shadowheart made quick work of his binds. The moment he was free, he lunged to the side and grabbed his lyre, strumming an aggressive note and hitting the whole party with some bardic inspiration, not that any of them needed it. They'd made quick, clean work of all three, basically finished before the note had evaporated into nothingness.

"C'mon, soldier," Karlach said with a grin, holding out her free hand to help Thom up, which he gladly accepted. "What're you like?"

"Gale, you almost took his head off! It would have made the whole excursion pointless!" Shadowheart scolded the wizard, who, of course, took absolutely no notice of the reprimand.

"Ah, but this is where you are mistaken, my Sharran friend," Gale said, a finger in the air as he made his point. "I was all too aware of where the missiles were headed. Young Thomas had nothing to worry about, except maybe a light trim to that magnificent mane."

Eyes narrowing, Thom had a few choice words for the Wizard of Waterdeep but, Astarion slid into his vision almost immediately and distracted him.

"My poor little bard," he purred, Thom pouting as he found nothing to retort in response; Astarion was an overwhelming presence. "You're quite lucky I had the sense to follow you after that harlot led you away from the inn. Imagine the state… pieces you'd be in if I hadn't."

Thom muttered his thanks, snapping his knife belt around his waist and slamming the lid of his lyre case shut, clipping the locks closed.

"Sorry, darling. I didn't quite catch that."

"Thank you," he said through gritted teeth, standing to full height and towering over Astarion. By at least an inch or two.

"Good boy," Astarion laughed, Thom huffing at the affect those words had on him. "Now, tell me I was right and all of this will be forgotten. Water under the bridge, darling."

Not a chance, thought Thom.

"You were right," said Thom.

Astarion sauntered out with a shit-eating grin on his face, Karlach wrapping an encouraging arm around the bard's sagging shoulders as the group made their way back to camp.

Thom and Astarion were the only two left awake, lying side-by-side and gazing up at the brilliant celestial orb above them. Turning his head to the side, Thom smiled as he watched the vampire's face, quite possibly the most beautiful one he'd ever seen; it wasn't often that Astarion looked calm, but he looked positively serene presently.

"I don't need a tadpole writhing around in my brain to know you're staring, darling."

"I am grateful," Thom began as he turned his eyes back to the star-studded sky. "That you came. I should have known from the start but-."

"-You're not always the brightest banana in a bunch," Astarion finished with a chuckle, no malice in the sound. "I know. It's why I came to your rescue."

"Did you mean what you said?" Thom asked after a brief silence; his heart was pounding as he finally brought up the thing that had been niggling away at him since their return.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, darling."

"Yes, you do."

Rolling onto his front, Thom pushed himself up onto his elbows and watched the vampire; his expression hadn't changed a bit.

"Setting aside the night of the tiefling party-."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Astarion teased, his fangs gleaming as he grinned.

"I'm quite serious, sir," Thom huffed, the formality of it catching the vampire off guard, one red eye opening to look up at him. "I may not be a clever man like you or Gale but, in matters of the heart, I am deadly sure. If my heart and soul are to be put on the line here, I need to know the truth. Did you mean it?"

Astarion considered him for a long moment, his gaze penetrating the bard as he seemed to be trying to memorise every detail of him; it made Thom very self-conscious. With a dazzling smile, the vampire's long fingers grazed Thom's cheek, sending a shudder through him.

"Yes," Astarion said quietly. "I meant it."

With a nod, Thom lay back down beside his vampire, the two of them watching the changing sky in silence, their hands clasped between them. Nothing more needed to be said. At least, not tonight.

[raeynbowboi]

Creating a Thematic Bard

Through Bardic Magical Secrets, any Bard can pick up any 6-8 spells of their choosing depending on their subclass. I thought I’d go through some thematic options for a Bard to choose from to cater to different themes and archetypes the Bard aspires to do. For each, I will offer the 8 spells I would recommend if you were to play as a Lore Bard, and if you pick a different subclass, just elimate two of the options.

HEAVENLY CHOIR 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Flame Strike, Destructive Wave 14th Holy Weapon, Summon Celestial 18th Divine Word, Holy Aura

THAT INFERNAL BARD 6th Hellish Rebuke, Summon Lesser Demons 10th Summon Greater Demon, Planar Binding 14th Summon Fiend, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise 18th Planar Ally, Shapechange

WOODLAND WOODWINDS 6th Spike Growth, Plant Growth 10th Grasping Vine, Wrath of Nature 14th Transport Via Plants, Wall of Thorns 18th Tree Stride, Guardian of Nature

NECRODANCER 6th Animate Dead, Summon Undead 10th Spirit of Death, Danse Macabre 14th Create Undead, Finger of Death 18th Negative Energy Flood, Antilife Shell

PYRODANCER 6th Scorching Ray, Fireball 10th Ashardalon’s Stride, Flame Strike 14th Immolation, Investiture of Flame 18th Fire Storm, Meteor Swarm

CRYODANCER 6th Ice Knife, Rime’s Binding Ice 10th Ice Storm, Cone of Cold 14th Investiture of Ice, Otiluke’s Freezing Sphere 18th Wall of Ice, Control Weather

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST 6th Tidal Wave, Wall of Water 10th Control Water, Maelstrom 14th Watery Sphere, Summon Elemental 18th Tsunami, Water Breathing

TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM 6th Thunder Step, Lightning Bolt 10th Control Winds, Storm Sphere 14th Chain Lightning, Investiture of Wind 18th Whirlwind, Storm of Vengeance

DOWN TO EARTH 6th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Erupting Earth 10th Stone Shape, Wall of Stone 14th Bones of the Earth, Move Earth 18th Investiture of Stone, Earthquake

A DANCE OF DRAGONS 6th Chromatic Orb, Dragon’s Breath 10th Elemental Bane, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Shapechange

BARDS GONE FEYWILD VOL VII 6th Summon Fey, Spirit Guardians 10th Conjure Woodland Beings, Healing Spirit 14th Heal, Conjure Fey 18th Mass Heal, Wish

FIND ME SUMMON TO LOVE 6th Conjure Animals, Summon Undead 10th Summon Aberration, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Summon Fiend, Summon Celestial 18th Summon Construct, Summon Elemental

ROCKY HORROR NIGHTMARE SHOW 6th Dissonant Whispers, Fear 10th Phantasmal Killer, Dream 14th Mental Prison, Feeblemind 18th Maddening Darkness, Weird

CLOAK AND DAGGER 6th  Counterspell, Pass Without Trace 10th Death Ward, Steel Wind Strike 14th Contingency, Simulacrum 18th Feeblemind, Foresight

NECROSIS 6th Inflict Wounds, Wither and Bloom 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Harm, Finger of Death 18th Abi’s Horrid Wilting, Destructive Wave

STEP THREE: PROPHET 6th Augury, Clairvoyance 10th Divination, Commune  14th True Seeing, Detect Thoughts 18th Astral Projection, Foresight

GLOWING REVIEWS 6th Blinding Smite, Spirit Guardians 10th Destructive Wave, Wall of Light 14th Sunbeam, Crown of Stars 18th Guiding Bolt, Sunburst

SIMPLY PSIONIC 6th Mind Spike, Tasha’s Mind Whip 10th Raulothim’s Psychic Lance, Telekinesis 14th Rary’s Telepathic Bond, Synaptic Static 18th Telepathy, Psychic Scream

SONG OF WAR 6th Hunter’s Mark, Spiritual Weapon  10th Staggering Smite, Steel Wind Strike (or) Swift Quiver 14th Holy Weapon, Blade Barrier 18th Conjure Volley, Blade of Disaster

SHIELD MASTER 6th Armor of Agathys, Shield 10th Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere, Wall of Force 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Globe of Invulnerability 18th Forecage, Invulnerability

MAGIC MIKE 6th Magic Missile, Glyph of Warding 10th Arcane Eye, Bigby’s Hand 14th Arcane Gate, Symbol 18th Demiplane, True Polymorph

SPELLBREAKER 6th Absorb Elements, Counterspell 10th Circle of Power, Synaptic static 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Forecage 18th Feeblemind, Antimagic Field

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Guardian of Faith, Bigby’s Hand 14th Mordenkainen’s Sword, Blade Barrier 18th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Blade of Disaster

TWO-FACED 6th Alter Self, Water Breathing 10th Guardian of Nature, Stoneskin 14th Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, Draconic Transformation 18th Animal Shapes, Shapechange MASTER OF ILLUSIONS 6th Blur, Pass Without Trace 10th Phantom Steed, Creation 14th Mental Prison, Nystul’s Magic Aura 18th Illusory Dragon, Weird

A DANCE WITH DEATH 6th Wither and Bloom, Vampiric Touch 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Contingency, Soul Cage 18th Clone, Invulnerability

MERCY MAIN 6th Aura of Vitality, Beacon of Hope 10th Aura of Purity, Aura of Life 14th Heal, Regenerate 18th Mass Heal, True Resurrection

PLAGUED BY GUILT 6th Hex, Bestow Curse 10th Vitriolic Sphere, Contagion 14th Eyebite, Harm 18th Feeblemind, Weird

BLUE EXORCIST 6th Counterspell, Remove Curse 10th Dispel Evil and Good, Banishing Smite 14th Forbiddance, Plane Shift 18th Forecage, Imprisonment

BARD EX MACHINA 6th Elemental Weapon, Tiny Servant 10th Fabricate, Creation 14th Animate Objects, Summon Construct 18th Mighty Fortress, Blade of Disaster

CONCLAVE OF THE HOUND DOG 6th Hunter’s Mark, Conjure Animals 10th Swift Quiver, Conjure Volley 14th Guardian of Nature, Dominate Beast 18th Animal Shapes, Insect Plague

OATH OF MERRIMENT 6th Blinding Smite, Crusader’s Mantle 10th Find Greater Steed, Destructive Wave 14th Staggering Smite, Banishing Smite 18th Circle of Power, Holy Weapon

 And of course, you can always mix and match. Going for a Fire Dragon theme? Mix the Pyrodancer and A Dance of Dragons spell lists. As an example:

LOVE AMONG THE DRAGONS 6th Dragon’s Breath, Fireball 10th Flame Strike, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Investiture of Flame, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Meteor Swarm

These are all the bard themes I could think of, but if you can think of some more that I missed, or have better suggestions for some of my choices, let me know your own thematic magical secrets builds. Obviously, these were made with the Lore Bard in mind, since it gets the most magical secrets, but I’m sure some synergize better with other bard types, such as Song of War with the College of Valor. I just used Lore as the default. How well do these magical secrets builds work for you?

[darkwolf76]

Entry for the BG3 2024 Big Bang is Posted!

Dancing with Shadows and Secrets

Pairing: Wyll x Tav

Characters: Wyll Ravengard, Tav, Ulder Ravengard, Astarion (cameo), Karlach (mentioned)

After being caught pilfering from a merchant in the Wide, young Wyll Ravengard is sent by his father to stay with his grandparents, the Lord and Lady of House Eltan, for closer supervision His grandparents have greater political ambitions for him than the soldier his father raised him to be and hire a dance master to educate him in social graces. Young Seraphina longs for her mother’s druid circle in the High Forest, but she loves her father, so she must spend her months with him, playing a part in the schemes of his crew as he offers his bardic services to the rich patriar families of Baldur’s Gate. His latest mission has him serving as the dance master for the grand duke’s only son, with her serving as the noble boy's dance partner. Neither wants to be here, but with a city to explore and cults lurking in the shadows, perhaps destiny has them where they are meant to be.

@bg3bigbang

**Seven Years Prior to the start of Baldur's Gate 3**

[thelittlepinkwitchblog]

THE SEAGULLS OF WATERDEEP - A ONESHOT

First off, hello I am not dead just inactive.

I don't usually post much of my writing but here I am, and I'll be 100% honest, this idea has been bouncing around my brain since i made that initial post I dont know when (idk how to link posts but its there somewhere), about the Seagulls of Aberdeen by Scottish comedy group Weegie Hink Ae That? With respect to the source of my setting (the person whose story has me in a vice grip), this one-shot takes place in sort of the “in-between-scenes” of a story like @galebrainrot2024 ‘s on-going series, a former school rivals to friends to more (?) Kind of story. Come into my mind scape, where Tav went to Blackstaff with Gale as kids, they were rivals, and for whatever reason Tav went on to multiclass as a Sorcerer-Bard in order to make a better living or fulfill a passion or whatever, I didn't really think about that until I'm literally writing this intro thing. I like my Tav being F personally but I wrote this as an genderless Tav so I hope everyone can enjoy ^_^

Setting - the party camps in a relatively safe area for the night, allowing everyone to relax a bit from the Ilithid problem, along with the array of personal quests to be fulfilled. Gale made a hearty stew and everyone decided that they should have a little bit of wine as a treat for their weeks of steady hard work. Karlach was the first companion found by Tav after the crash, and so she requested a song the bard had played before meeting the rest of the party. Takes place after the meeting with Elminster.

***

“Oh, oh, sing that funny one about the seagulls!” Karlach almost vibrated from excitement, the heat of her skin radiating more than the well tended campfire. Tav looked around, at the reactions of their companions. Halsin and Wyll both nodded at them encouragingly, Astarion shrugged nonchalantly. Gale had been quiet for days, as quiet as one could expect from him; ever since Elminster quelled the orb with Mystra's blessing, so that he could, well, never mind. Tav observed him as he ran his fingers over the hem of his purple linen chemise, a silent glimpse into the torrent of his mind. “You'll love this one wizard, it's about your home turf.” Having caught on to her friend's gaze, the teifling deliberately brought the wizard from his thoughts and into the circle of conversation.

“Honestly, I would love to hear it.” He did his best to smile, to seem like his usual self, but Tav could see a forlornness deal within his eyes, having taken root in his heart since the orb was silenced.

“Yes, Tav. Do indulge us.” Shadowheart added, taking another sip of wine.

Tav waved their hand, silently summoning a lute with their Bardic Arcana, an act of casual magic that made Gale's heart skip, though for a moment he thought it was the now slumbering orb. Checking the tune with a single strum across the cords, Tav's lips curled into a cat's grin, obviously pleased to have been asked to provide entertainment during their rest. “Alrighty then, if you know the words, sing along.” Playing a simple intro, Tav began to sing, their accent, what dear readers would recognize as Scottish, clearly audible. “Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep, have you seen the fucking size of the seagulls in Waterdeep?” Expecting a ballad that was aforementioned funny, Gale surprised himself when he burst out laughing with everyone else after the first crass line.

“Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep, I watched one fight a granny at the Harbour in Waterdeep.”

Karlach joined into a rough harmony, Tav altering their pitch to accommodate the joyful teifling. “I thought I must be Water-dreamin’ up I wasnae, the big ol' bastard's devil eyes staring right through me. I thought I must be Water-dreamin’ but I wasnae, the big ol’ bastard chased me down and tried to kill me.” Shadowheart, Wyll, and Halsin all joined in with the chorus, Astarion enjoyed the spectacle too much to join, Lae'zel had left to train, and Gale was too busy marveling at how easily Tav smoothed over any friction that may have arisen during the day; any disagreement or tension between comrades was quickly forgiven or forgotten the moment they sat by the fire with their lute and vocal chords. As the bridge came and Tav's voice easily shifted higher, their eyes met for a single moment before the bard turned to Karlach, saying something quickly between verses. “Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep they scream. Karlach, make the seagulls noise! Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep they scream,”

“Wawa wawawa wawawa wawawawa!” With her whole chest, Karlach did her best seagull impression, flapping her hands to imitate wings.

“Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep they scream,”

“Wawa wawawa wawawa wawawawa!” Shadowheart had joined Karlach's impression, her cheeks red from the wine most of them had consumed with the dinner Gale had prepared.

“Oh the seagulls o'er in Waterdeep,” Slowing the tempo, none knew the final line the Bard would deliver, the final blow to a song that almost had tears of laughter flow. “I watched one bust a nut at the Harbour in Waterdeep.” Shaking his head as Tav flourished on the lute in finality, he struggled for breath as his fingers clasped the bridge of his nose.

A moment of applause rang through the clearing as Tav said their thanks and seemed to humbly accept whatever praise or criticism came their way. Though no complement could surpass Gale’s; Tav's heart swelled almost painfully at his breathy laughs as he muttered to himself with a half smile, almost hiding his face in his hand to suppress himself. “Oh sweet Gods above, I needed that.”

***

please be kind to me with criticisms, be constructive but I'm sensitive k thanks

Okay, I love you, Gods bless ♡ bye ♡

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 8

Enter the Vultureverse

Welcome back to the Report Card where we are having a mini recap because my schedule has been off the wall bonkers! Luckily, this week we can split the episode pretty neatly into two sections: research and fighting. We’ll go more in depth on the research than the fighting because those are the bits that will be more long term plot relevant though I’m sure the fighting will be long term relevant to Gorgug and the therapist I hope he has because yikes gang!

First things first, we resolve stress tokens which the party has to use to nerf themselves and take disadvantage on the skills they choose. They are as follows: 

Fig: Insight and Religion. 

Gorgug: Initiative, Insight, Deception, and Charisma Saves. 

Adaine: Initiative, Intimidation and Persuasion. 

Fabian: Tool Proficiencies, History, Investigation, and Perception. 

Kristen: Initiative, Wisdom Saves, and Medicine

Riz: Perception, Survival, Athletics, and Deception.

When we left, Lydia had dropped off all the info from her old party mates and the Bad Kids were surprised to see that it was all written not in Infernal but in Giant. The whole gang (except Gorgug who’s still at home) circles up in Adaine’s tower to help and she casts Comprehend Languages so she can read the texts. Fig tosses Adaine a bardic to juice her History roll which prompts Brennan to have Siobhan roll on a d100. On a 91, Adaine’s stomach gurgles and a cloud of dust mites fly into her eyes, causing her to knock her head and pass out. 

Kristen rushes to her aid (with a medicine check rather than spells since she’s currently out) to stabilize her. Brennan asks if she rolled less than an 8 and even though she didn’t, her stomach also gurgles and she sees a vision of the food court: a flash of red, a familiar scream (not Cass), and then silence. In Adaine’s eyes, she sees splattered blood reflected. Ominous!

Everyone is freaked and they’re getting major shrimp vibes. Fig declares herself cursed and submits to arcana checks from everyone. With his angel-spy necktie, Riz casts Detect Good and Evil and finds a fiendish aura around her that’s different than her natural one. She is for sure cursed.

While this is going on, Gorgug is at home, watching Frostyfaire stuff get set up. His parents allude to some ~mysterious machines~ under tarps and promise not to embarrass him. That’s not oddly specific at all and it certainly won’t come back to bite him in this very same episode. He gets the text from the group that Adaine passed out and goes to meet up with them but, as he leaves, he sees electricity running through one of his parents many gadgets and has a moment of inspiration about how the pulse of the electricity and the pulse of his blood and heart when he’s raging might have some kind of synchronicity. He makes a note and saves it for later. 

OK! Now let’s round up all the new info the party learns from the notes Lydia provided:

There’s a record of Ruvina (Lucy’s god) giving Cass a wedding gift: a Bridle of Frost that would allow her to command a team of fiery horses. The fact that Cass was married is new info and Riz speculates whether she was being married to a giant/giant god.

Apparently, Cass, Galicaea (her sister), and Sol (her brother) were traveling together in the Mountains of Chaos.

(As an aside, we learn that Cass is more aligned with fae and Galicaea is with the elves–we knew that second part already. We also learn that Helio’s mom was a mortal woman.)

We learn of a law of magic called Obliviati Mori by Clerics and the Law of Theothanatic Silence by wizards. It basically means that even though gods can remember dead gods, they’re not allowed to revive them via worship by speaking their name and reminding mortals of them. Adaine gets the sense that if this is a law then it can be broken somehow and Brennan says yes, but there are likely hefty arcane penalties. 

Fabian wonders if Cass’s, “I thought you were dead” was referring to this dead god who is maybe her ex. Riz wonders if Lucy was possessed by a god and that’s how she was able to write down the name of the dead god–something that should have been impossible since no mortals know their name and no gods are allowed to speak or write it. 

Fig thinks the Ratgrinders are being mighty suspicious in their seeming lack of mourning for Lucy and especially in Ivy’s not shocked reaction to seeing her disguised as Lucy. 

(These next pieces of info we don’t get until after a short interlude but I’m gonna put it here to keep it neat.)

Riz thinks that it’s suspicious that Tracker’s church would suddenly be blowing up right when this dead god is coming back and wonders if there might be some shenanigans going on where their worship is somehow being siphoned off to power this other god (something gods are specifically not supposed to do). 

In one of the books, Kristen sees an illuminated page (illuminated as in illustrated–think Book of Kells) that is unfinished. It has an empty arch wreathed in flames and a design of red 24 point stars with sharp rays that are very similar looking to the shatter stars they encountered in the mall fight.

Fig wonders if a union of Doubt and Rage (Cass and this unknown god) was maybe too powerful so their marriage was sabotaged by another god.

After all the research, it’s almost time to go to Frostyfaire, but before they do, Kristen takes a leap of faith and (1) texts Tracker to see if they can meet up since her god is relevant to the investigation and (2) texts her parents to ask if they want to get coffee. Tracker says she’s busy the next few days but she’s free starting on Monday. Kristen's parents don’t text her back but her brother Bucky does and lets her know that her parents are debating it but it feels like they’re gonna say yes. Sibling loyalty! 

Adaine does a Detect Magic on the token Kristen’s teacher gave her and determines that it’s basically a deity-less Holy Symbol so she’s got something to tide her over while she works on getting Cass back. 

Fig, who you’ll recall is dabbling in paladin classes, decides to pray for the first time and attunes to a moment of doubt that’s sacred to her: when her horns first started growing in and it changed her whole life, ultimately for the better. The shards from Cass in Kristen’s pocket glows indigo and she decides to pray with Fig as well, gaining a 6th level spell slot back in the process. 

On to the fair!

When they arrive, Gorgug’s parents welcome them–incluing Fig’s alter-emo Wanda since she’s in disguise to mess with Ruben/hopefully get some info. Riz and Kristen are thinking that all the crunchy, granola kids here from Aguefort are a substantial voting block but, before they can do anything about that, an old druid shows up and offers them a toke of his pipe. 

Fool the Bad Kids once, shame on you, but they’re NOT getting trapped in a net like Max. They all immediately roll to check if something’s up and Adaine crits, clocking the druid as an illusion. Riz casually says, “No thanks Oisin,” as Adaine casts Dispel Magic, revealing not the Ratgrinder’s wizard but their bard, Ruben who sneers at them and then gets into an argument with Gorgug about whether he (Ruben) shits or not. Very normal teenager conversations. Fig has dipped at this point because she wants to debut as Wanda to Ruben at a strategic moment but she secretly hits him with a Hex to his Int to help guard against any rolls he might make to clock her disguise later. She also notices how mad Gorgug is getting at Ruben’s nonsense and texts Porter a list of things that piss Gorgug off, trying to help him out. 

Ruben’s band, My Clerical Gnomance (of course), of which Fabian is a big fan (sure) head to the stage and start playing their set but then, all of a sudden, thunder rumbles and a surge of electricity makes the stage lights go weird. In a flash, Grix appears, hovering above the crowd! He assesses the crowd and finds it full of rulebreakers and felonies so he decides to do his part in restoring “Perfect Order” by CASTING DISINTEGRATE ON RUBEN. Why is he even here? This is so outside of his jurisdiction! He says the school experience is best optimized by being omnipresent but COME ON man! This can’t be legal, even in Spyre!

Anyway, initiative! 

Like I said, we’re really gonna breeze through this fight because it’s mostly non-plot relevant but there are a few things I want to highlight:

Adaine right away burns a portent roll to save Ruben from the Disintegrate. I wonder if, in Ruben’s mind, that’s worth being a little softer towards the Bad Kids in the future. 

Grix uses a spell or ability to awaken all the nearby machines to fight by his side but…uh…the Thistlesprings were busy during the four months of night and they decided to retrofit some of their random appliances into very elaborate sex toys. Both Zac and Gorgug are mortified. 

Ruben curiously doesn’t just ditch when the going gets rough like you might expect someone who only grinds rats to do. He stays and does what you’d hope a bard would do: plays with this band to distribute bardics to everyone. Of course some of that is probably to impress “Wanda” who he spots in the crowd but you have to wonder how much his personal adventuring philosophy aligns with his party’s. Maybe not everything he’s done is logged on the official record. Also, he seems horrified by the situation so either (1) the RG’s aren’t somehow collaborating with Grix, (2) they are but only certain RG’s are in on it, or (3) he’s a great actor which he could be as a bard but I think that’s least likely. 

We learn that Gorgug in addition to his homunculus, Cloaca, now has a steel defender: a gecko named Clobica (a Battle Smith class feature). It’s kinda like a familiar that can attack.

The fight gets hairy fast with multiple Bad Kids getting stunned and Adaine going down. Kristen uses her one spell slot to cast Mass Cure Wounds but that still leaves Adaine, a squishy wizard, surrounded by enemies and a bunch of party members stunned and failing to snap out of it. 

Grix mentions that he was warned to expect tomfoolery in general but especially from the Bad Kids which of course begs the question, “By who?”

Grix is successfully able to cast Dominate Monster on Riz by appealing to his sense of order and visions of Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers dance in his head. He turns his attention to Adaine next (which makes me wonder if he was just consulting a dossier on the Bad Kids in that moment because Riz and Adaine are for sure the ones you’d target with this pitch). 

Now, this episode might be known as the one where they had to fight a sex toy lawnmower except for what happens next. Because, much like in the first fight this season, there is a vulture on this battle set. And our intrepid heroes noticed it immediately. So, back against the wall, party in dire straits, and out of spell slots, Kristen decides to interact with the vulture as the rest of the table give thumbs up, supporting the bit. 

She prays to Cass, asking for help in connecting with the vulture and then gives a now very familiar, “Heyyyyyy girlie.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?” the vulture says to the surprise of the full table. Feathers whip around the dome and a graphic appears: YOU ARE ENTERING THE VULTURE DIMENSION. A new set is brought out. Everyone is losing their minds. I didn’t take a hit from Ruben's pipe but I feel high. And that’s where we end our episode!

No extras this week because I’m crunched for time but, don’t worry, I’ll roll that all into next recap since the fight continues in the next ep. Can’t wait to figure out what the hell the vulture dimension is tonight! 

[songbird-oracle]

Live thoughts watching Fantasy High Junior Year episode 5

Spoilers ahead

Im so nervous already about Cassandra

These dudes getting swole

It IS spicy tonight in the dome

Screaming

I WANT A BOGGY KISS

OH FUCK SHES HOLD MONSTERING KRISTEN

THE SECURITY COMING THROUGH OH SHIT

“Do you want me to kill that guy for you 👀” vibes

OH NO PLEASE NO NIGHTMARE KING OH NO OH NO

I’m Shittering my pants rn

No not the girlies!

Located in the astral mall, This place has *everything*. Ripped valley girls, a goddess and prophet and familiar going through a very tumultuous time in their relationship, a frog wearing a paper hat, and a weird ass clock

I live for the hangman banter

Oml I love the Yarrbucks coffee art

LOU HOLY SHIT

BOX OF DOOM DC5!? The stakes are seriously so high though

Okaaaaaaaay 13 works ig

“Does she need scratchies?”

Wooo Murph!!

THE STAR TALKS!?

I love Emily’s reaction to “banging out a 1st level spell”

Riz sadly flossing

Oh no Kristen oh no Cassandra!

No stop attacking Cassandra!!!!

🎶non-a-crits🎶

Thank goodness no failures

Break it up guys come ooooooooon

Damn, man needs strudel with sauce at a time like this

Profiling the minis 🤣

NOT THE TAP DANCING

“I don’t think you’re scared, I think you’re mad. And that’s okay” I’m sobbing

YES THE FUCKING SECURITY DETAIL

Kristen is so low, oh no

A 0 initiative 🥲

FUCK THIS IS WHAT RAGHS MOM ABSORBED!?!? Gorgug is the greatest wizard of our time

Abjurative grammar is prescriptive. Iykyk.

I knew the DC would be high

NAT 20 BEARDSLEY IN THE FUCKING HOUUUUUUUSE

YESSSSS HEALED CASSANDRA 😭

Oh fuck oh fuck bad stars

Let it out Cassandra, feel your feelings

Oh my goodness, philosophers scone

OOP PAUL BLART INTERGALACTIC MALL COP

It’s not the nightmare king??????

41 damage each, damn Adaine

We aren’t even half way through guys

BAHAHAHAHAHHA playful picking on Riz

Mass dispelling?? Damn

????? TUMMY ACHE SURVIVOR????

THE SHRIMP!!!!!!

Why is Fig a walking embodiment of Murphy’s law rn???

WHAT THE FUCK

NO NO NO DID GILEAR STEAL HER LUCK??????

IS THIS QUADRANGLE FUCKERY??????

Okay it’s just a curse

WAIT WHAT???

Cloaca why 😂

Whoopsies, shattered the shatter star

Oh fuck, rage Adaine is scary dude

Is this some rage and revenge deity??

Anyone but Conor

BAHAHAHAHAHA “no no, this is gonna happen”

“Stay hot Conor”

NOT KALINA NO

RAGH??????

Not the shimmy

WHAT IS KALINAS AC

44 DAMAGE??

Old Fabian

Legend has it the wizard is still waiting for his strudel with sauce

WHAT THE FUCK NO NOT CASSANDRA NO NO NO

“Unfortunately stop flossing”

COMPELLED DUEL ON KALINA OH FUCK

3!!!!! Woooooo!!!!!

Worst mall cop ever, Paul Blart would never

🤣 “is that not property damage??”

I’m so scared for Cassandra guys

Kristen and Cassandra are down oh no 🥲

BARDIC SHRIMPSPIRATION

NO NAT ONE NO NOOOOOOOO

Somewhere Katja Cleaver is raging because Conor Counterspell said he hates horses

A ball. Not *the* ball

ARMOR ZOMBIE AND LICH IM LIVING FIR THESE NAMES

Bards and Noble 🤣

Kristen coming in with the hugs

Box of doom has been working hard this episode

Shake out the bad ones

Screaming crying throwing up

I can’t look

Dammit Murph

Ecaf again

“What are you talking about girlieeeee?”

Brendan’s stare scares me

FUCK

Strudel for the win Girlie!!!

“One more roll girlie 🤪”

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no circle of death oh no

COUNTERSPELL MY BELOVED

“How old are you” “45” “gross”

WAIT WHAT TIME REVERSE TO- TEN SECONDS

Conor, you’re the best secret service agent ever

WHAT????? WHERES CASSANDRA??????

WHAT????????

I’m so fucking scared right now

Wait is Cassandra a triple goddess? Like how Hekate is a triple goddess, is Cassandra one? Cause Cassandra, Nightmare king, and a divine thing that isn’t a different divinity?

I want to enjoy “we got that bad boy buttered” but I can’t 🥲

Dead stare 🥲

I love Hangman 🥹

Feral Murph

NAT 20 SHRIMP JUMP

Thousand yard stare

Best shrimp jump ever

Maximum legend

That’s right, kick flip the system

Fuck KandyKorn Lullaby

See you at Basrars, I’ll be sobbing into my ice cream

[bananasfosterparent]

OC SMASH or PASS

Thank you for the tags @pinkberrytea and @razrogue hehe glad to get to this one... and both your Tavs are always a smash uwu

I tag: @pastel-starr-bitch @rielzero @bardic-inspo (and anyone else who might wanna do it! no pressures💜)

Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Efenity Kelmorn

Quick Facts:

Height: 6ft2in/187cm

Age: 37

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Straight/Demisexual

Pros:

Dedicated - Once she has a plan, she will stick to it and find a way to make it work. if she has promised herself to something, she will not break that promise to herself.

Patient - She will wait to see how she meshes (or not) with someone and give them time to prove themselves.

Clever - Enjoys puzzles and logic games. Enjoys getting into tight situations to figure her way out.

Detail Oriented - Will notice and remember small details about someone.

Sense of Humor - She loves to laugh and can find humor in a lot of situations.

Sturdy and Solid - A pillar of strength and steadfastness, both physically and emotionally. She has learned to control her emotions thanks to their effect on her magic, and remains calm in trouble. And she can lift most average and small sized people.

Devious and Cheeky - Not afraid to get unserious and poke fun.

Curious - To a fault, she delves into mysteries and wants to explore. Things might get dangerous but it's never boring with her.

Protective - Those who have weaseled into her heart have gained a fierce protector who will raise all nine hells to get them what they want.

Cons:

Stubborn - Once she has a plan, she refuses to budge. She is only dedicated to her own cause. The moment someone else's cause does not align with her own, she will turn on them somehow.

Always Scheming - She takes time to learn about those around her, in case they prove themselves useful to her (ie taking advantage of others lol)

Manipulative - Plots very elaborate plans to steer others toward her own will and desires.

Bully - Gets a laugh out of making fun of and belittling others.

Intimidating - uses her strength/stature to scare, threaten, and manipulate others into going her way, or else.

Brutally honest - Will point out others' insecurities and negative traits with no tact or gentleness.

Prying - Will weasel into sensitive information and tunnel into secrets and dark places she isn't supposed to be (and may use it for blackmail).

Obsessive - Once someone is in her very tiny circle, she will do all she can to control their lives, not maliciously necessarily, but in whatever way to avoid losing them as long as possible. She will try to manipulate them to make choices that she views as "safer" for her own comfort and the security of the relationship.

Cruel and Indifferent - Wil kill, maim, cheat, lie to, steal from, and be all around cruel to anyone, if they are an obstacle between herself and what she wants. And it's their own fault for being so trusting.

Stoic and bottles emotions - Will rarely have heart to hearts or spill her true thoughts to someone, unless they've reached a certain level with her that very few every have. Even then, her honest heart is locked down tighter than the Declaration of Independence in National Treasure.

DETAILS

Doesn't like men bigger/taller than her.

Touching her feels like static electricity sometimes and she zaps people slightly by accident all the time. Needless to say, she's not touchy feely at all.

Ironically has slight astraphobia, thanks to her trauma with the storm that killed her father. Storms in nature are beyond her control and that's scary.

While she can channel any atmosphere related magic best, her biggest connections are to lightning and thunder.

Has tried relationship things with women but isn't super into it. Willing to try again if it felt right and just happened to work out, but definitely prefers men overall.

Dangerous sleeper--will punch by instinct if she is woken up suddenly (Astarion learned this the hard way and that's my hc for why they sleep/rest in separate bedrolls lmao)

Got the gigantic eye wing tattoos at fifteen because she thought it made her look more intimidating. A kid she knew called her a racoon and she thunderwaved him into a wall (he didn't die, but certainly could have).

Is either scheming, eating, or working out. Rarely has free time.

Can make a "gym" for herself anywhere. Will use branches, trees, stones, walls, logs, anything she can find to do various exercises with.

Changes her hair up a lot and experiments with various styles for fun. Also enjoys playing with make up.

Has a lot of piercings she mostly did herself: Bridge, septum, snake bites, 3 on each ear, and nipples. Perhaps has more elsewhere 🤔🫣idk

[dujour13]

OC Kiss Week - day 2

@knight-commander I decided Emery needs a little more bardic magic in his life 💜

“So you’re the one who’s been spoiling my horse,” Emery frowns.

The bard offers up the last of the apple and wipes horse spit on his absurd striped trousers. “Guilty as charged, Your Hellishness. I suppose I’ll have to give myself a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it now?”

Emery’s frown deepens. Reckoning jokes are wildly inappropriate.

Worse, as he approaches his mount, Mánath snorts and turns his head away, making it crystal clear where his loyalty now lies.

The bard is wearing that charming, infuriating smile.

Though half a head shorter and at present regrettably unbedecked in his imposing black armor, Knight-Commander Emery squares off with him. “Will you please stop undermining my—everything?”

To his surprise Siavash backs down. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to undermine you, really. Just trying to cheer things up around here a little.”

Emery pushes the dark hair from his brow in frustration. “This is a Crusade against the Abyss. It behooves one to take certain things seriously.”

“Like oneself?”

Emery’s mouth opens and closes. “I beg your pardon?”

“You! You take yourself too seriously, Armiger.” Siavash isn’t smiling anymore.

“Are you telling me I’d look better if I smiled more often? Because so help me—”

“No. You look—you look stunning with a perpetual frown and tragic circles under your eyes.”

Emery stares in confusion. It doesn’t sound like he’s joking but there must be a punch line, because there always is with him. His heart suddenly feels even heavier as the secret hope that had been making it more buoyant these past weeks evaporates.

“I mean that,” Siavash says, even more confusingly.

Emery is paralyzed by the expectation of a flippant jab that never seems to arrive.

Siavash goes on, gently, “But I would like to see you smile more.”

“Well,” Emery breathes, unable to meet his gaze all of a sudden, “what’s your plan of action, soldier?”

“Everything I’ve tried so far has backfired, Knight-Commander.”

Though Emery’s eyes are steadfastly locked on his own boots he’s aware of Siavash’s proximity from the softness of his voice as he goes on: “I’m hoping for some tactical advice.”

Suddenly Emery finds his hand cupped between the bard’s. It is raised, and warm lips are pressed to it.

Emery smiles.

[astarionancuntnin]

OC Smash or Pass

Tagged by @bardic-inspo thank you girlyyy <3

Rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Malva Tavaler

Quick Facts:

Height: 5"6'

Age: 228

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pros:

extremely powerful, you'll never lose a fight by her side

very fast learner!

no awkward meeting with the fam; she ditched them when she came of age

could tackle an escape room on her own with her int stats

very small and close circle of friends (or whatever the closest thing to it is to her)

^will absolutely kill and destroy anyone or anything that gets in their path tho, shes so devoted to them

besties with a bhaalspawn so you get those advantages too

she got that dog in her (storm sorcery)

purple hair so you know shes fun

shes one kinky bitch (will probably be into anything you throw at her) - cannot be outweirded

can talk her way out of anything but will enjoy a fight if one ensues

Cons:

a walking red flag

queen of enablers

difficult to get along with due to her extremely judgy character and deeply rooted preconceptions

unstrusting of strangers, will use them to her advantage at first

not exactly the most patient person around and has quick temper

highly likely to get you in trouble for acting out on an impulsive thought

youll become a criminal in the next 5 minutes following meeting her (could be listed in the pros too, its a skill set really)

morally dark

therapy who? we kill and tear and maim our way through trauma here

she has never heard of empathy (she has her own problems to deal with and thats plenty)

tagging, no pressure: @marlowethebard @miraculan-draws @preciouslittlebhaalbae @communistfries @charmandabear

[coreene]

WIP Wednesday Saturday

My apologies to everyone who tags me - I absolutely love it when you do but I know I am always super late with doing them. But, on the bright side, this way we can keep the circle going!

Thank you @thisaccountisagainstmywill and @fistfuloftarenths for the tags, I love WIP Wednesday!

I am tagging @my-favourite-zhent @bardic-inspo @beesht @justporo and @tellmeallaboutit as usual no presh and also share your wips even if you're not tagged!

My offering is a piece from chapter 42 of Lorelei's Journal where the gang finally meets Lorelei's mother. 👇✂️

We were walking when I spot someone familiar, walking towards the gates. I stopped in my steps suddenly and the rest of the group hit me in surprise.

"What's the matter?" Gale asked with confusion.

I instinctively walked closer to Astarion. I wanted to hide, I needed to run; I didn't want to see her.

"Eleyarus, what a surprise," my mother spoke in the fake nice tone she used all the goddamn time.

"Mother," was all I could say with how dry my mouth had gotten.

"You look... good." She said in a very obvious, I'm lying, tone in her voice. "Although, I would do something about that dry hair and you're in desperate need of a hair cut, so many split ends." I tried to brush my hair with my fingers after her words and looked at the tips.

"And what is it that you're wearing?" I looked down to my leathers. "At least someone had the good sense to embroider something on it. It couldn't be you though, all those lessons and yours always came out wonky, didn't it?"

I took a step back, towards Astarion. He placed his arm over my shoulder wrapped his hand protectively around my body.

My mother squinted her eyes to the display, her gaze darting from me to Astarion.

The split second when I wasn't under her mocking gaze, I spoke. "What are you doing here, mother? I've never seen you leave Upper City."

She returned her gaze to me with a condescending smile. And there was something wicked behind it. "Oh, your brother wanted to see the circus."

"Fen is here?" I asked with a hopeful tone. I was still mad at him for the way he left but I would be so happy to see him again. I've missed him.

"No, your little brother." She said and turned towards what looked like a nine or ten years old brat who was busy kicking pigeons. I would be mad if he was able to catch up to them but he didn't look very blessed in the athletics.

Suddenly I connected the dots in my head. The timing of the announcement in the paper, telling people I was dead, when she stopped looking for me. It all fit the time he was born.

"Now, we should be leaving. We spend enough time around plebs. Volan come." She said and turned towards the gate as the boy tried his best to catch up to her. He was very slow.

"Mother, leave the city, if you can. It's not going to be safe for a while." I called after her.

She looked at me over her shoulder. "Don't tell me what to do, girl. I know everything better than you do."

And she turned her back completely to us, with the brat following her and walked passed the Fist guarding the gate.

"I'd wish she'd turn into a mind flayer for not heeding your warning, but I don't know if that'll change much for her. She's as emotionless as the illithid." Astarion commented while the rest of us were still in shock.

"That is not how a mother should behave," I heard Gale mutter under his breath.

"I now understand why you ran away." Karlach commented.

I felt my shoulders slump in defeat. "It's fine. I'm used to her. Let's just go back to camp." And hope we never see her again. She could save herself for all I cared.

"No, you need a distraction." Karlach ran in front of us and stood near the stand for the circus. "Let's visit the circus, please."

I smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded. "Alright, I guess we can."

"And we're just in time for the clown show," Astarion spoke with a tired voice "how wonderful."

Karlach darted towards the circus gate, as we followed her in a leisurely pace, Gale was coming from a little behind us. Astarion's arm was still wrapped around me. He pulled me closer to himself and left a kiss to my temples. I cherished the feeling of his cool soft lips on my skin. I felt a headache coming up and it was helping.

"How are you, my love?" He whispered to my ear.

"I'm okay," I looked up at him "and grateful to have you."

He bent his head down for a soft kiss. I breathed him in when our lips touched. "You'll never have to face her alone, as long as I'm here."

For those that do not follow my longfic: Lorelei's mother is a high elf, older than Halsin, and including Volan, she has five children. Lorelei and Volan are the only ones who share a father. The other three all have different fathers and the eldest, Miraren, doesn't actually know hers. It is rumoured to be a star elf, though.

She calls Lorelei, Eleyarus, because that's the name her parents has given her. Lorelei changed it when she ran away.

I was making a family tree to show Lorelei's family but I still can't decide on a design I like so it's gonna be a while for that to see the light of the day.