#the background graphics this season are out of this world

[embraceweird]

I am so bewildered, gobsmacked, dumbfounded by Brennan's incredible improvisational narrative abilities.

There was NO WAY he could have foreseen Murph rolling a nat 20 investigation on the hallow. NO WAY to know they'd find the rage God's name like this that would set off a series of horrifying events. NO WAY he knew that all the Bad Kids would jump into Riz's brief case to avoid whatever all that was.

But somehow Brennan ties it all back to Fig and her bedroom which has a PREMADE GRAPHIC ready to go! I shouldn't be surprised at this point but, man, can Brennan weave such an intricate, chaotic, and beautiful story

[adventuringblind]

Don't leave me

Max Verstappen x reader, platonic Oscar piastri/Lando norris/ Charles Leclerc x reader

Genre: angst

Request: Yes, and I'm litterally in love with this piece

Summary: they are basically her brothers. They would do anything for each other. Max, even more so after realizing he loves her. He'd take a bullet for her if it meant keeping her safe. Too bad she beats him to it.

Warnings: graphic description of injuries and gunshot wounds. Blood, panic, live shooter.

Notes: written in third person

Masterlist

It's funny in this sport how friendships work. Your closest bonds are with your rivals. You grow up together racing if your trying to get noticed.

That's how the five of you were able to get close. Charles and Max met early on. They're pratically the same age, only a month separating them. She met them at several races, and things with them just stuck. Lando and her are the closest in age, meaning they were often in the same division for Karting. He, however, was able to get his spot in formula 1 faster than her. Leaving her in formula two for a year longer until she could join the three boys at the top. Oscar was a mystery. It helped that she and him were teammates for a season in formula 2. They got close during that time.

Now they are all together in Formula 1. Racing side by side. Making bets about who will win each race. Though nobody bets now because it's always Max. His domination insane so far this season.

They had created their own little dysfunctional family. She kept the boys in line, and they were definitely willing to fight anyone who touches her.

Max was a wildcard. She crushed on him growing up and never expected he would like her back. He had tired just confessing to her with words. His attempt went sideways quickly. Then he'd kissed her. After their last race of her rookie season.

He wasn't expecting her to kiss back and was pleasantly surprised when she did.

Both Charles and Lando were not surprised. However, they still sat him down like overprotective fathers and lectured him about how they wanted him to treat her properly.

And he has. It's been wonderful.

Oscar joining your small family this year added to the fun. Him and Lando get on well and the other three are just glad his calm aura can get the Brit to tone down if need be.

Max is now a two-time world champion and well on his way to a third. She couldn't be prouder of him, and the rest of her boys for that matter.

This race specifically, she's charing the podium with them. Max first, Lando with a shocking second, and her ending in third.

Charles owes her dinner now. He didn't think the McLaren upgrades would be so drastic.

The trophies are now being handed out. hers first. She lifts it up and smiles at the crowd.

She notices something odd, though. Some of the crowd is ducking and running away from the podium. Specifically from someone clad in black with a firearm aimed at Max.

Her body reacts quicker than she can think her actions through. Her legs are scaling the podium, throwing her body in front of Max to get him out of the way.

The shot rings out as they tumble to the ground together. A mess of limbs on the top step. She spots Lando dropping to the floor at the noise, and for a minute, she thinks it was him who was hit.

Her ears are ringing, and her breath is heavy. The faint sounds of yelling can be heard in the background. Max is saying something to her that she can't make out. Her only concern being that he's okay.

Questions about his safety and eyes scanning over his body to assess the damage. A brief moment of relief settles over her as she sees nothing wrong with him.

Max looks concerned, though. He's saying things to her she can't hear. Lando is next to him in seconds.

Then, the burning registers. Max's hands pull away from the side of her chest, and they are covered in glossy crimson. Coughs wrack through her. Uncontrollable and painful. The taste of copper filling in over her tongue.

Max is trying to keep her awake. He's begging her to keep her eyes open. Lando is shoving his hands over the wound. She can see tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm glad you're okay." Are the last words she manages before the pain gets too much. Black spots dance across her vision. She tries her best to focus on Max. Her lovers eyes refusing to leave hers.

She slips away into the blissful, pain-free feeling of unconsciousness.

~

Max is screaming in Dutch now. The crowd running away or being escorted out beneath him. Lando is next to putting pressure over the gaping hole in her chest.

The shot was meant for him.

He tries not to think about it as he attempts to keep himself grounded and his lover coherent.

Charles and Oscar are working to fight their way up to them. Their team and security held them back and haul them away to somewhere safe. Max can perfectly make out their shouts of protest.

Lando is next to try and get him off the bleeding female. Paramedics are now here to do their job, but he can't let go. Lando is forcing him his hands away, his hands keeping Max firmly placed on the ground as they haul her away.

He's screaming now. Both boys are covered in blood that isn't their own.

Oscar and Charles are finally freed and they are sprinting to the podium. The two arrivals attempting to console their friends.

~

The wait in the hospital is long and anxiety ridden. Max can feel the guilt eating him alive.

Him and Lando have long since cleaned their hands. The nurses let them wash themselves when they got to the hospital.

Charles has been attempting to console max. Reminding him that it isn't his fault and that she'll pull through. Their girl is a fighter.

Oscar has been attempting the same for his teammate. The Brit having gotten sick from the image replaying in his head.

It's hours until they are allowed to see her.

Even then it’s not much help. She’s breathing, but she’s not awake.

Max stays with her for days before Charles finally convinces him to go shower and eat a proper meal. Promising to watch her for him and let him know if anything changes.

He's grateful for Charles and is greatfull for the McLaren boys who have been dealing with the press.

He feels refreshed when he comes back, but the guilt is still there. It should be him lying in her place. It should have been him moving her out of the way.

It's the way Charles is trying to get his attention as he sits there crying. The Monegasque tapping his shoulder repeatedly. Yet Max can't bring himself to look at him.

It's been weeks now. The FIA had just announced they'd be racing again next weekend. The security is apparently being much better now. He resents them for not having sorted it out earlier and allowing someone with a gun into the race.

Charles is tapping more furiously now. His hand is now gripping Max's shoulder. Frustration boils up inside of him. He snaps his head towards the Ferrari driver but is met with your open eyes when he does so.

"I'm going to get a doctor." Whispers Charles.

The girl in the bed is disoriented but still trying to say his name. He can see the pain in her eyes. She is trying to hide it and put on a brave face, but it's obvious to him.

Max doesn't hold his tears back any longer. He sobs as he places gentle kisses to her knuckles. "I thought I lost you." He chokes.

The face that she can smile right now is a testament to her strength. She's being strong for him, and he knows it.

She moves closer to him despite the pain and wipes his tears away. "No need to cry, you're not losing me so easily."

[sundrop-writes]

Your First Kiss With Jason Todd

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary:

Jason always thought he hated you. He did hate you.

Until he didn't.

Until his love for you ruined him in ways he couldn't even imagine.

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader. Frenemies to Lovers. Pure Angst (Hurt, No Comfort). Set during Season 3.

Word Count: 8,200

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: This fic is almost entirely angst - hurt, no comfort. This fic does not have a happy ending!!! So be warned of that before you enter here. Jason and the reader are described as ‘hating’ each other, but they are more like frenemies/annoyances - they have a playful banter (at the time, even they don’t know that they like arguing because it’s sexual tension and passion for each other); the reader is completely gender neutral - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours; this is mostly written from Jason’s POV (which is where most of the angst comes from); Jason describes himself as a ‘zombie’ or ‘half-alive’ - but he is fully alive and has all of his mental faculties, he is just freaked out about the fact that he was resurrected; the reader does not have any meta powers, but is described as being very good at combat (this does not denote the reader’s body type); mentions of sex and some sexual themes - but there is no outright smut and no detailed descriptions of sex; mentions of negative stereotypes surrounding frat boys/frat houses - including STDs and group sex (mentioned in a negative light); mentions of Jason masturbating (and thinking about the reader while doing it); mentions of Jason’s canon trauma (being kidnapped and tortured by Deathstroke, dropped off the building); mentions of Jason being killed by the Joker (and being ressurected by Crane); mentions of the reader mourning Jason’s death; mentions of drugs and drug addiction (based around the canon storyline of the anti-fear gas); mentions of Jason’s trauma surround his mother’s drug addiction; mentions of Jason killing Hank (as in the canon); the reader is kidnapped (by Crane or someone who works for Crane) and held hostage, and later rescued by Jason; somewhat graphic descriptions of violence (Jason beating up Crane, other background instances), gory descriptions of a death toward the end (mentions of acid burns and choking on non-breathable air); major character death - the reader character does die. Like I said - no happy ending. Sorry not sorry.

A/N: This is set during Season 3 - and this does feature spoilers for Season 3 if you haven't seen Titans before. So if you wanna watch the show spoiler free, definitely avoid this fic. I was imagining this to be set around episode 6 or episode 7, before Crane's plan to use the ice cream factory is taken down by the Titans, but obviously Jason breaking away from Crane's control so early goes against the canon - so there's that. Also, if you wanna pair some music with this for something truly heartbreaking, I would highly recommend the classic Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush, or the highly underrated Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3 (the lyrics are way more depressing than people realize, and I love it as a whump song. oomf). I also feel like the song Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny would go so well with this fic, but in like - the most devastating way. I haven't written something this cruel since I wrote Ghosting and I had so much fun doing it. You can't leave me alone with whump for too long, I turn into a monster. I need to go back to smut again quickly lmao.

...

Jason Todd was in love with you. 

It was something that he hated himself for. Actually, it was one of the most infuriating, devastating facts in the world. But it was true. You were someone who was so entirely amazing. You were beautiful - literally the hottest person Jason had ever met who wasn’t photoshopped or catered to be some unrealistic daydream. You were clever and smart and strong. You could kick anybody’s ass on any day of the week and still have enough energy left to tell them how much of an idiot they were and list all of the reasons why. 

And you would definitely never love Jason back. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he could ever have someone like you. 

So he kept all of that stupid, idiotic love to himself. It was a secret that he had sworn to die with - and technically, he already had. 

Jason tried not to linger on the very fucked up, seemingly impossible fact that he had come back from the dead. And now he was existing as some weird, fucked up zombie thing - resurrected from having his skull caved in by the Joker to do Jonathan Crane’s bidding. This definitely wasn’t what Jason would have wanted out of a renewed life - but hey: when an Arkham prisoner gives you rotten lemons. 

When Jason wasn’t beating down drug dealers, stealing money, or strapping bombs to people - when he was trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he had died and he was now living some strange half-life, reliant on Crane’s drugs, he was thinking about you. He thought about you a lot. 

He hadn’t come into contact with you since his strange foray back into the land of the living. That was probably for the best. He knew that you had freshly come back to Gotham, upon Dick’s request. Nightwing had called for backup from all the ex-Titans to help end Red Hood’s reign of terror. Jason wanted to stay as far away from you as possible. 

Genuinely, he didn’t want you getting caught in the crossfire of whatever Crane was planning. He wished you had stayed out of Gotham, but he knew that you were too loyal, too good not to come to the aid of the Titans when they needed you. He couldn’t reveal himself to you just for a taste of nostalgia - one last argument before you sold him down the river for good. But fuck - he thought about you a lot. 

When the two of you had first met, you were the last person he ever thought that he would surrender that stupid, soft label of love to. Even months into first knowing you - he would have said that he hated you. He would have told anybody that he found you to be the most annoying person on earth. 

Your relationship used to be the worst kind of dance. 

Every single time that Jason opened his mouth, you said something to contradict him. To a point, he believed that you didn’t even fully stand behind the things you said - you just enjoyed arguing against him. That you did it for sport. You used every single last bit of your time and energy to get under his skin. From mocking him to calling him a fuckboy to prodding at his grammar, poking holes in his points by smugly correcting him. He always found you to be the most infuriating person in any room. But it seemed that the more frustrated he got with you, the more cool headed you remained. 

He tried to mock you back, and you shrugged it off. Every time he became visibly annoyed in your presence - you giggled. He wanted to strangle you. 

And it was one fated day that he realized the line between heat fueled by frustration and heat fueled by lust truly weren’t that different. 

… 

“Jason! I thought I smelled you coming down the hall!” 

Jason groaned when he heard you make this comment. 

He thought that for once, he could have some peace to train alone - but it appeared that he would have no such luck. You were already in the training room, holding a long bo-staff as you ran some drills. Apparently, you were eager to exercise your mouth too - already whipping off clever insults the minute that Jason entered the room. 

When all he could muster was a glare in your direction, you let out a giggle. His blood boiled. 

“Between that god awful Axe body wash and that alcohol based aftershave that you like to drown yourself in, you smell like a walking frat house.” You continued, blabbering on even though Jason had made no efforts to engage you. At least not yet. “Just throw in some Busch Light and weed, and I might be able to catch gonorrhea just from the stench.” 

That was the nerve that hooked Jason into the conversation. First of all - he smelled fucking delightful. He always made hygiene one of his personal priorities. He was absolutely not one of those guys with crusty, sweaty balls. And second of all - he was not one of those STD spreading manwhores. He was clean in all senses. He always used a condom. 

“Sounds like you’ve got experience with that.” Jason quipped back. 

He looked to you for some kind of reaction, some inkling that he had gotten under your skin even a fraction of the way that you did his. His movements were rough with annoyance as he began wrapping his knuckles with tape so he could have a few rounds with the heavy bag - mostly out of a need to pound out his frustration on something. He was getting too angered with your presence in the room and not wanting to snap and take it out on you. (He already had enough on his record with Bruce, and despite popular opinion - he was trying to improve.) 

When you weren’t quick to respond, Jason continued. 

“You used to letting frat boys all over you? You seem like the type of person who would enjoy a good, sloppy frat house train. Twenty guys, one after the other, none of them knowing your name, just because you’re so needy for a good fuck.” 

Jason grinned, feeling like he had won this conversation with the essence of shock alone. 

But no. As always, you remained cool. You grinned right back at him, stepping toward him, crowding into his personal space as you said your next words in a low, smooth voice. 

“Sounds like you spend an awful lot of time picturing me running a train.” You smirked. “Is that why you’re always so late getting up in the morning? You wake up and the first thing you do is get a hand on your dick, imagining me getting fucked by a lineup of guys? Probably just wishing that one of them was you.” 

Jason’s face fell flat. 

You were so strikingly confident in your words that it made his stomach twist. Facing him down, speaking such filthy words without flinching - embarrassment and heat collided inside of him. Even more so with what you did next. 

You put a hand out in front of your crotch, mimicking the motions of jacking off while you mocked him in a broken voice. 

“Oh, oh fuck Y/N! Come on! Take my sloppy, frat house cock!” 

You then mocked a whiny series of moans that must have been Jason’s fake orgasm - and while Jason’s insides bubbled with a confusing heat, you quickly dissolved off into laughter. 

“Shut up.” Jason snapped, forcing his eyes down to focus on the process of taping himself up - praying that you wouldn’t see the heat that had spread across his cheeks. “You’re the fucking worst.” 

“Only when I’m with you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss - to which he stuck his middle finger up at you. 

He was eternally thankful when you went back to your own training in silence, only taking occasional glances up in his direction. 

… 

After that point, Jason had to admit to himself that he was attracted to you, at the very least. He could no longer deny that you were insanely attractive; you were a very, very hot person. And somehow, even past your annoying habits, he was being drawn into the orbit of your gorgeous looks and your wonderfully cocky, filthy mouth. 

But he still hated you. He definitely still hated you. 

He hated it even more when you became right - and you did become the object of some of his more heated fantasies. He became downright annoyed at the times he had his hand around his cock and imagined himself hate fucking you - imagined forcing every cocky retort out of your mouth, imagining you breathless and needy beneath him, begging for more with every hard push of his hips. 

He hated how everything changed after Doctor Light. 

Jason wasn’t thinking about your stupid beautiful cocky mouth after that. His mind was full of glass and he was being shredded from the inside out. He came home broken. After everything that happened with Deathstroke and Doctor Light - he was some fragile bird; some chewed up, used, pitiful thing. He didn’t have the energy to fight you anymore, not even for sport. 

So after he was rescued, still floating in numbness, he didn’t know what to do when you burst into his room unannounced. You practically shoved the door off its hinges, and stormed across the room toward him - tears hot in your eyes. You pounded curled fists against his chest, screaming at the top of your lungs. Half of your words were static in his ears, but the tone of your voice pierced through his heart like an arrow. You called him stupid, asking where in his empty head he had gotten the idea to go off by himself. 

Jason didn’t have it in him to fight you. So he broke down. 

He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for crying in front of you. But his throat was tight and he choked on the tears - he was too tired. He just couldn’t hold them back. He screamed back, and asked you to lay off. To get off his fucking back. 

You looked shocked. Like you had swallowed a piece of glass. 

You surprised him when you uncurled your fists and wrapped the most tender, gentle hands around his back, and for the first time since he had known you - you embraced him in a hug. He was weak and he needed it more than he was willing to admit, so he let you. He sobbed against your neck, his own cries too loud that he missed the timid sound of your apology. 

That wasn’t the only time you surprised him that week. 

He knew it was because he was some broken little bird, but you started taking care of him. You brought him plates of food without being asked, and when he attempted to shove them away - you refused. You told him to eat before you had to ‘shove it down his fucking throat’. 

You didn’t mock him. You didn’t correct him. And you surprised him even more when you turned the sharpness of your tongue on the others when they tried attacking Jason. They accused him of planting booze in Hank’s room or drawing crosses on Rachel’s mirror to fuck with her, among other things. And you popped veins in your neck going on a winding rant about how stupid and baseless their accusations were. 

Jason wasn’t sure if you knew it, but you jumping to his defense wrapped him in a blanket of protection that he had never before felt. It was so entirely strange, but welcomed coming from you. Especially because he knew that it was genuine. He knew that you didn’t have any ulterior motives for doing this - for some reason, you just wanted to help him. 

When you extended an invitation toward him to come with you as the group dispersed, torn apart by Dick’s nasty, festering secret - Jason felt welcomed by you. He knew that the dynamic between the two of you was changing at a breakneck speed, and he had to embrace it. He found himself eager to follow the weird, newly developing kinship that he had with you rather than wanting to stay in the empty coldness of the Tower with a brooding Dick. 

From there, it was really difficult for Jason to pin down the exact moment that his feelings transitioned toward you from casual lust to something more. He couldn’t tell exactly when it turned into that panic-inducing, ‘oh my god, I’m fucked’ feeling of being in love. After leaving San Francisco, during the entirety of the time that the two of you were in Gotham together, your relationship remained completely platonic. 

It was a few short weeks spent kicking ass as the best vigilante duo the city had ever seen, but there wasn’t a single moment Jason could point to where the two of you lit up with that romantic spark. It wasn’t some romcom bullshit come to life. It was just the two of you being friendly for once. The two of you helping each other survive. 

Back then - Jason wanted you, badly. Even if he didn’t know just how badly, he wasn’t going to fuck up the whole dynamic just to get laid. He felt safe with you. He kicked ass with you. He was good with you. And during that short time - he was happy. So he wasn’t going to do anything to risk that happiness. Happiness was too rare for him. So why the hell would he try putting the moves on you, scare you away, and fuck it all up? 

… 

A little slice of that happiness came in the form of Hal’s Diner. It was a place in downtown Gotham, open twenty four hours, and you and Jason had gotten into the habit of stopping there after your patrols. 

The two of you would kick some ass - break the legs of some drug dealers, make sure that women got home safe if they were walking late at night, keep the streets a little safer. And then you would change out of your patrol outfits and head to the diner, just as the sun was rising over the scummy streets of Gotham. You would get breakfast and Jason would get dinner. He would steal one of your eggs and you would take half his burger, and you would always comment about him putting way too much ketchup on his plate. 

It was harmony. 

“You know, every time I see you make a grown man cry, it brings me such intense joy.” Jason grinned as he said this, reminiscing about a beautiful moment from earlier in the night. 

He spoke about it in the same manner that someone might reminisce about seeing a relative or a cute puppy. But this was natural for the two of you - since you had taken up vigilantism as a duo, violence was a sweet art for the two of you. 

“Well, if he would have left that girl alone the first time I asked, I wouldn’t have broken his arm.” You shrugged, speaking very casually about it yourself. 

You then picked a piece of bacon up off your plate and took a bite, grinning at Jason fondly. You did appreciate it when he complimented your skills. 

Jason chuckled. 

“You know, it is nice to see you using your powers for good instead of evil.” He commented. 

“My powers?” You parroted back, your mouth half busy with chewing, your words slightly muffled. 

You didn’t have any metahuman powers, so this comment did leave you slightly confused. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, entirely confident in the statement he had to follow. “Your endless amount of energy to harass people and be endlessly annoying. The powers you used to spend all your time using on me.” 

“You used to deserve it.” You were quick with your tongue as usual, not missing a beat with this statement. 

Jason’s only rebuttal was to pick up a french fry - one not doused in ketchup - and throw it at your head. You flinched slightly when it bounced off your forehead - but when it landed in your lap, you easily picked it up and put it in your mouth, not thinking twice about doing so as you tossed Jason a wicked grin. 

That. That must have been the moment. 

That was the moment he realized that he was truly in love with you. You grinning at him from across the table, your smile lighting up your whole face, playing around with him like he actually made you happy. Like he could spend the rest of his life making you happy. 

That’s why it hurt so much more when your phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later. When you told him that it was the Titans - Gar in trouble. That’s why it hurt so fucking much when you left. 

Jason knew, in hindsight, that he should have gone with you. But he flailed like a rabbit caught in a snare, and rather than just agreeing with you, he felt the trap tightening around him, and he opted to chew off his own foot rather than simply letting you help him free. 

He stupidly argued that it was some test from Dick. That the Titans could deal with their own problems. Jason knew that deep down, he was still tender from everything that had happened - Dick dropping him, even by accident. The accusations, the secrets. The rejection. He felt like he was laying down a line - he was letting you make a choice. 

Him or the Titans. 

But it shouldn’t have been a choice. It was Gar. Jason should have stood by his friend. He should have gone with you. 

Deep down, Jason feared that if he did go with you - the Titans wouldn’t want him back. He feared another cutting rejection. They would simply bench him again, they wouldn’t even need him to help save Gar. They wouldn’t want him to help. He was useless, after all. He was careless and stupid. That was why he needed you to choose him. To stay. 

That was what his mind was screaming out as you looked at him, disappointment flooding your eyes as you questioned him about Gar, about going back to the Titans. 

Stay. He silently begged. Pick me. 

And watching you snatch up your jacket in a huff and get up from the table, your food barely touched - his eyes boring into your back as you retreated - it was like having his heart carved out of his chest. And because he was so fucked up, he just sat there. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He didn’t chase you. 

He let you go. 

Having you suddenly disappear from his life was like missing a limb. Jason was constantly aching around your non-presence, constantly missing you. He felt torn up from the inside out, wondering if his frayed nerve endings would ever heal themselves. When he went to Donna’s funeral, he stared at you from across the tarmac - telling himself that if you even so much as glanced in his direction, he would cross that sickly one hundred foot black sea and talk to you. He would make the leap and apologize. 

But you were fettered and stubborn and you kept your head straight. You knew it was the ultimate punishment not to acknowledge him. So the moment that the plane took off, Jason shoved on his helmet and sped off on his bike.

He easily became numb after that. 

He went back to Bruce - to lay low and lick his wounds, or because it was the only place he knew, he wasn’t sure. He tried to be a Robin that wasn’t with you. It didn’t work. He felt more broken than ever. It was cheesy, pathetic bullshit - but he talked about you in therapy. Leslie encouraged him to reach out to you, but every time Jason’s fingers hovered over your contact in his phone, his hands shook, and all he remembered was the look of pure scorn you had given him before you snatched up your things and left the diner that day. 

He thought of you as he suited up to go after the Joker. He considered how easy it would be for the two of you to take down the stupid clown together - how flawlessly the two of you worked as a team. 

Jason thought of you as he drew his last breath, soaked in blood and struggling past the world-ending pain. He wondered, in a haze, if you were warm in your bed in The Tower while he was pressed into the cold ground, taunted by the laughter that rung in his ears. 

… 

Jason didn’t know how hard you cried for him when you heard the news of his death. 

You wouldn’t have dared to say that the hole in the middle of your chest was caused by love - caused by the heartbreak of a lover being stolen. But you certainly felt robbed when you heard that the Joker had killed him. You seethed and you heavily considered marching toward Gotham to seek revenge. 

You knew that Dick was angry with Bruce for finally giving in to what the Joker wanted and killing him. For finally ending their sick, twisted game. But when you found out - you were glad that the clown was dead. You wrapped one of Jason’s stolen shirts around your pillow, and you slept a bit easier at night. 

…

Jason knew that he should have left town. 

Crane claimed that Red Hood was going to be the next Batman - that he was going to be something the Bat never could. That he was going to actually keep the streets safe. But so far, all Jason had done was steal, kill, terrorize, torture. Crane spoke of omelets and breaking eggs - pigs and bacon, and ‘marketing’ himself to the public. But truly, it never made any real sense to Jason. 

Jason knew that now, he was the type of man lurking in the night whose arm you would have broken if he was lingering too closely to the vulnerable. And you would have been right for doing so. 

Jason was tired. He felt lost - directionless. He was getting tired of Crane’s bullshit. He missed you. But he knew that he couldn’t just go running back to you. You likely wouldn’t have accepted him back into your life if he did. 

When Crane called him in that night, wanting to discuss ‘the game plan’ - Jason was worn. His patience for all of it was already wearing thin, and what happened next - it truly caused him to snap. 

Jason showed up in full gear, wearing the costume of an alias he no longer believed in; foolishly dressed up as someone he had truly begun to resent. He was holding his helmet in hand, his heavy boots clunking on the floor as he dodged around Crane’s egghead lackeys - a random group of people who were working to convert the anti-fear gas into a larger batch. He knew that they were aiming to get more and more people in the city hooked; if Jason hadn’t abandoned his morals in this new life, he might have cared more about the consequences. 

Instead, he made a B-line for Crane, who was typing away at something on the computer. 

“Jason, my boy!” Crane grinned at him, giving a false, performative grin over his shoulder. “Lovely evening, isn’t it?” 

“What do you want?” Jason asked, his tone flat. 

He was far too tired of Crane to engage in more word play or stupid riddles. 

“Never one for pleasantries, are you?” Crane chuckled. 

Jason didn’t offer him a reply - seemingly confirming his theory with this simple act. 

Truthfully, he wasn’t. He wasn’t feeling very pleasant today. He hadn’t felt very pleasant any day since he had been so rudely pulled from the morgue and zombified to do someone else’s bidding against his will. Being an undead puppet didn’t really make a person all that pleasant. 

Crane reached into the pocket of his oddly quaint grandpa sweater and pulled something out - a small glass vial, containing some clear liquid. It looked harmless - like water. But Jason knew Crane, and he knew that whatever it was must have been entirely dangerous if Crane was carrying around such a small dose of it. 

“Do you know what this is?” He asked, giving the vial a small shake, jostling the liquid inside to emphasize his point. 

Jason hesitated before he shook his head in the negative. He hated to appear clueless and stupid around such an intelligent man, but he didn’t want to guess and be wrong. He knew that being misinformed around Crane was dangerous. But being cocky and pretending to know more than Crane was even more dangerous. 

“This is a very highly concentrated form of liquid Methadone.” Crane explained. “It’s a highly addictive substance. And I think it’s going to give the mass market version of your formula that little extra kick that it needs, ya know? Keep the people coming back for more!” 

He let out a bright chuckle, as though he was talking about a cleaning product that was marketed on an infomercial or some kind of great recipe for soup. That was one of the things that scared Jason the most about Crane - his ability to talk about life changing, deadly things with such jarring enthusiasm. He truly thought of bringing people their worst nightmares and their most painful deaths as ‘beautiful work’. 

“What about it?” Jason prodded quietly. 

He knew that Crane hadn’t called him here just to brag about a new idea to add something to the formula. He needed Jason for something. 

Jason just hoped that he wasn’t looking to use him as a guinea pig again. He would likely rather die again than go down the path of heavy drugs. One thing he had vowed - he wouldn’t end up like his mother. 

“Well, you see, my boy, that’s where you come in.” Crane grinned at him. “Due to its highly addictive qualities, Methadone is also a highly regulated substance. But because I am the wonderfully well-connected man that I am, I happen to know that there is a very large stash of it just sitting there, ripe for the taking, in this quaint little building uptown.” 

Jason’s gut stirred with suspicion. 

“Where uptown?” He asked. 

“Well, it’s just-” Crane stuttered, and then sighed, deciding to get it out and over with. “The Wayne Memorial Cancer Research Facility.” 

Jason glared at him. 

“But see, it’s fine! Because I happen to know someone who knows their way around the Wayne Tech security systems very well. So Red Hood breaks in there, gets me my-” 

“No.” Jason said flatly, before he turned and started to walk away. “Find somebody else. We’re done.” 

Crane had threatened to replace him before. Crane had no-so-subtly threatened to kill him alongside being replaced. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Jason would be better off dead. Maybe Crane would find out that Jason was irreplaceable after all. Maybe Jason was a dirty, seedy criminal shaped by life for only one thing: ruining the lives of others. If Jason couldn’t do that, he wasn’t sure what he would do. 

But he wasn’t going to fucking do this. 

Killing was one thing. Stealing from drug dealers and mobsters was another. What he had done to Hank had crossed too many lines - but it didn’t even begin to approach the lines that this crossed. 

Stealing from a facility that Thomas and Martha had set up when Bruce was just a child, shitting all over their legacy, using skills that Bruce had taught him in order to do it? That was too far. Jason couldn’t say that he had morals anymore, but he still had that voice of common decency in the back of his head yelling at him to stop it. Maybe it was your voice, correcting him at every turn the way you used to. 

He should listen to that voice. 

He should leave town. 

“Hold on, hold on there, Jaybird!” Crane called after him. 

The pure annoyance that the nickname caused was the only thing that stopped Jason. He considered turning around and shooting Crane just to shut him up. 

“See, I think you forget how this works.” The man went off again - talking in that humming tone he always used that made Jason’s ears numb, made his brain switch off. “Every loyal dog gets a treat. A little motivation to get that Pavlovian mind barking in the right direction.” 

Jason turned back around then. 

“Nothing you say ever makes any fucking sense.” He barked out, ready to leave Crane with these as his last remarks before he left Gotham forever. 

But then Crane tapped at a few things on his keyboard and pulled something up on the monitor - a dark, grainy video feed that had Jason squinting his eyes and walking closer to get a better look. 

When Jason was able to truly take in the scene - his stomach dropped. 

It was you. 

You were sitting alone in some anonymous, concrete warehouse - probably in the industrial district of Gotham, if Jason had to guess. Crane didn’t like to keep his insurance policies too far away, he liked to play it close to the vest. You were tied to a chair, duct tape tight over your mouth, very much there against your will. You were looking straight ahead, with the camera angled down from the top corner of the room. Even through the grainy, black and white footage, Jason could see the wetness of tears streaking down your face. 

You were terrified. 

Jason’s helmet clattered to the floor, slipping from his grip as the shock overtook his system. 

For the first time in weeks, fighting through the numbness of the drugs and the hazy shock of his new half-life - he was terrified too. Then he was angry. Rage bubbled up inside of him like a sharp, acidic bile. 

“What the fuck have you done?” Jason growled out, the anger setting his jaw so tight that the words could barely escape between his teeth. 

“I told you - every loyal dog gets a treat.” Crane said, a barely contained glee filtering through his voice as he peered over Jason’s shoulder at your weeping face on the screen. 

He clapped a large hand on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason felt himself nearly choke on his own tongue - so swollen with anger that it barely fit in his mouth. 

“So, go fetch, doggie.” Crane continued. “Go get me what I need. Otherwise, that sweet little treat of yours is gonna play dead.” 

Crane leaned over and whispered those last words into Jason’s ear - and that was what truly caused him to snap. 

In a flash, Jason grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder, whipped Crane around - there was a loud crack as Jason broke Crane’s arm. The egghead types who were working on the formula all paused; some of them gasped or hid behind things, but none of them were brave enough to intervene. Jason shoved Crane’s face into the monitor, cracking it out like a spider’s web but never fully obscuring the image of that dark, cold warehouse - the place where you were alone and terrified. 

He twisted Crane’s broken arm, making a sound like glass grinding in on itself, and the man let out a howl. 

“I think you forget how this works.” Jason barked at him, his voice so dark with rage that it almost sounded like he was wearing Red Hood’s voice modulator even though his helmet was on the floor at Crane’s feet. “When dogs get pissed off - they bite.” 

He twisted the injury again, and Crane let out another bitter howl. 

Jason demanded to know where you were, and Crane squeaked out an address. It was in the industrial district, so it checked out in Jason’s mind. It didn’t seem like a trap or a false answer to waste his time. 

Jason shoved the pathetic, useless man to the ground, kicked him in the gut for good measure, and then leaned down to grab his helmet before shoving it on. He would need it in case Crane had anybody stationed there, guarding you. 

Crane shouted something at him as he walked away, but Jason was barely paying attention - now very singular minded on his mission toward you. 

“You have to learn to play by the rules, Red!” Crane choked out. “You won’t like how this ends! I made you! I fucking made you!” 

… 

Jason was surprised to find the building empty. No guards, seemingly no bombs, no gas canisters. At first, he thought it really was a trick, a misdirect to waste his time. But when he had just about given up hope of finding you, searching one of the back most rooms that used to serve as overflow storage for Ace Chemicals - he found you. Concrete and anonymous, some of the beams having eroded away in places from improper chemical storage. 

When you saw him stalking toward you - his gun drawn, heavy boots thudding against the floor, modulator puffing out heavy, mechanical breaths - you let out a terrified whimper past the duct tape and more tears flowed freely down your face. 

Jason felt a twinge of guilt. Of course. You had no clue it was him. 

Perhaps he could get away with the mercy of never revealing himself to you. He could keep his mask on, release you, drop you back off with the Titans and then leave town. But eventually, Dick would tell you who he was. 

At the very least, he could give you the comfort of seeing a familiar face after the hell you had been through. You were wearing a sweatshirt and simple cotton pants, and running shoes - it looked like you had been plucked off the street during a jogging session. He could only imagine how much Crane’s lackeys had scared you. 

Once he was confident that the area was secure, he holstered his gun and then reached up, removing the face mask from his helmet and tossing it aside. 

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” He told you - attempting to be gentle and soothing in his voice. 

He approached you slowly, not wanting you to be scared as he reached to his belt for a knife - only with the intention to cut the ropes around your torso, wrists, and ankles. 

He watched your expression as you flashed through a range of emotions - deep confusion, a bit of relief, sadness, and then strangely - burning anger. You glared at him with the most intense rage he had ever seen from you - more intense even than the day you had stormed into his room and called him stupid and suicidal for going after Doctor Light without backup. 

Jason was slightly afraid of the lecture that would come next, but nonetheless, he knelt beside you and began cutting you free. 

The minute that one of your hands was free, you reached up and ripped the duct tape off your mouth. You took only a fraction of a second to wince in pain from the tender skin of your lips being disturbed before you began verbally tearing into him. 

“Jason Todd!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, so loudly that Jason was sure some of the edges of the corroded concrete pebbled off and fell down just from this. “Jason fucking Todd! I should have known you had something to do with this!” 

“Wh-?” 

Before Jason could question your odd choice of words or even recognize it as an accusation, you raised your other freshly free hand and slapped him squarely across the cheek - it was a hard, skull-shaking clatter. It had Jason dizzy, falling back onto his ass and dropping the knife before he could finish cutting the ropes around your legs. 

“Fucking ow!” Jason griped, reaching up to grab his now very red cheek. 

“You are such an asshole! Of all the completely idiotic, stupid things you have ever done-” 

“I didn’t fucking kidnap you! Okay? I didn’t do shit!” Jason quickly argued back, finally now realizing that you thought he had put you here in the first place. “I’m here to rescue you!” He said each of these words slowly, looking you in the eyes, hoping that his point would get across more firmly this way. 

There was a tense moment as you stared back at him with your jaw locked. It was likely that if your feet hadn’t still been tied, you would have run away - or kicked him. Jason was thankful that you couldn’t do either at the moment.  

“Why?” You asked, finally breaking the tension. 

“What?” Jason gaped. 

This was the last thing he had been expecting. 

He was saving you - why were you questioning him? 

“Why are you ‘rescuing’ me?” You asked, taunting his phrasing of it with a mocking tone and large air quotes. He now regretted freeing your hands. “So you can bargain me off to Dick for ransom money? So you can put a bomb in my chest?” 

You said the last part with intense disdain, tears dancing in your eyes.

So you did know what a monster he was.  

He was surprised that you hadn’t hit him harder. 

Jason heaved a sigh. He reached over and picked up the knife, very slowly, very tentatively resuming cutting the ropes on your legs to free you. 

“I’m just freeing you so that you can be free. That’s it.” He said quietly, defeat lacing through every inch of his voice. “You don’t deserve this.” 

He cut the last rope and folded the knife, sticking it back in his belt. He stood up then and caught a glimpse of your face - you were wearing the most complex expression he had ever seen. Perhaps confusion, perhaps anger. Maybe somewhere deep in your eyes - hurt. 

He turned and moved to leave, hoping you would simply follow him out of the confusing maze of the building and he wouldn’t have to drag you out kicking and screaming. 

“That’s not an answer.” You told him, your tone sharp and certain - the same tone you always used to correct him. 

Jason whipped back around then, heaving a sigh as he looked at you - standing in the middle of the room now, arms folded over your chest, glaring at him on the spot. Cocky and so sure about yourself. Too damn certain and immobile in your points. Infuriating. 

“Why the fuck do you have to make everything so damn complicated?” Jason shot back, annoyance and dread tight in every inch of him. “Why do you have to interrogate me about every damn thing that I do?” 

“Because you make stupid ass decisions when I don’t.” You easily fired back. “Now tell me: why are you doing this?” 

“Because I wanted to.” Jason huffed. 

“Why?” You prodded again. 

He let out another hot huff, and you didn’t let it go. 

“Come on Jason!” You shouted, increasing in volume as you became more frustrated with his lack of an answer. “You didn’t just develop a conscience all of a sudden! Why did you feel the need to suddenly drop everything and come to my rescue? What makes me different than Hank? What makes me different than-?” 

It was the annoyance grinding on him. It was a combination of your nagging voice, the lack of drugs in his system for the first time in weeks. The rawness of the world ragging on his last good nerve. The sound of your voice putting him in line - exactly where he was supposed to be. The way you reminded him of the truth now more than ever. 

“Because I’m in love with you!” Jason shouted. 

It was almost… angry. It was a declaration that hit you like a whip - more like an insult than something warm and kind. It wasn’t made of sweetness, like some moment from a film with a gentle piano riff wrapped around it. It was real - made of the haunting kind of passion that kept Jason awake at night. 

Your eyes widened. Jason’s breathing stilled as he waited for you to react - to say something. 

“Oh.” Your voice cracked around this syllable, and your eyes danced with more tears. 

Jason felt his own heart crack apart inside of his chest, more terror flooding him. 

He had died with the secret because he had never wanted to live up to the embarrassing vulnerability of confessing it. In the deepest part of his mind, he had lived this horror a thousand times. Him finally creeping out onto the edge of oblivion - speaking those words. Confessing. And then you stabbing him in the heart, rejecting him. 

The reality of it ripped through him so much harder than it ever had in his nightmares. 

Any last tiny piece of his soul that had survived being murdered by the Joker had just been shattered by you. 

“Yeah. Fucking oh.” Jason echoed back, his own tears clutching at his throat. 

Seeing him with that naked vulnerability dancing behind his eyes - it reminded you of the same person who came back from being kidnapped by Doctor Light. It reminded you of the real Jason you had gotten to know. 

In that moment, it all came crashing toward you. You gasped harshly as you could barely breathe around it. 

That hole in your chest had been shaped like a lover - it had been shaped like him. Filled with the pain of letting him get hurt, leaving him alone in Gotham to be murdered by the Joker. Filled with the doubt and confusion of never knowing what could have been between the two of you if you had chased those flirtations a little bit farther. 

And now, he was standing right here in front of you, somehow perfectly alive and well - and there was only one possible thing you could do. 

“Jason.” You gasped out his name, unable to fathom more words. 

Before he could move, you reached out and grabbed both sides of his face, one of them still singed with a burning ache where you had slapped him so hard - and you pulled him into a kiss, hard. 

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t dainty or smooth like some Hollywood love confession - it was hungry. Bordering on feral as you both fought to consume more of the other person, bleeding out little moans and fighting for breath past each other’s lips. Jason’s hands rushed to embrace you, wrapping around your back and grabbing a needy, possessive handful of your ass while you kept your grip tight on his face, keeping his face forcefully close to your own as you devoured his mouth. 

You felt some of his tears escape - such a rush of emotions making him raw and unable to hold them back, and you moaned pitifully into his mouth as he wetness slipped underneath your palms. Whatever it was - his pain, his pleasure; you would take it. He was all yours now. 

… 

Far off, on the other side of Gotham, Crane chuckled quietly to himself as he watched the scene unfold. He had pulled up the camera feed on a separate tablet, seeing as Jason had used his head to crack the monitor. With his broken arm bound in a temporary sling, he used his one good hand to pull something out of a drawer - a remote with a single button. 

“For these violent delights have violent ends,” He recited to himself, still grinning widely as he looked at the two lovers in the grainy, black and white footage. “And in their triumph, die like fire and powder. Which as they kiss, consume. Even the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, if the taste confounds the appetite.” Crane poised his finger on the button. “Therefore, love moderately.” 

He pressed down, and dissolved into more epic laughter as he watched what came next. 

… 

You were only human, and you could only kiss Jason for a few minutes before your brain demanded oxygen. As much as you hated to pull away from the sweet, bruising sting of his lips, you forced yourself back and immediately took in a sharp breath that turned into a rolling pant - Jason let out a needy whine in protest. 

With his arms holding you so securely and the dizzying heat now flowing through you - you almost didn’t catch it. But it was there, in the background, something steadily present that wasn’t there before. 

Beeping. A small, electronic beeping. 

“Do you hear that?” You asked Jason, squinting your eyes with confusion and looking around, trying to find the source of the noise. 

He did hear it. 

“Fuck.” Jason mumbled. 

Panic flooded him. The whole thing had been a trap. 

He pulled away from you hesitantly and grabbed his mask up off the ground, snapping it back on. 

“We have to go. Now.” He told you, his voice now sharp and robotic through the voice filter as he grabbed your wrist and began dragging you away - you became limp to his direction for once and simply followed, fear tight in your gut once again. 

Jason didn’t want to consider the possibilities, but he knew it could be anything from a large bomb, meant to tear you to shreds, to a large dose of fear gas waiting to be deployed. And he didn’t have an antidote at the moment. He needed to get you out of the building and transport you to safety. 

When the two of you came to a door - one of the many that Jason had passed through on his way in - it snapped shut in Jason’s face. It was on some kind of mechanical locking system, that much was apparent. Jason rushed forward, trying to pry it open - but it was welded steel, and it wouldn’t budge. 

Jason heard more slamming - more metal forcing itself shut on the same locking system. 

“Jason?” You croaked, that unsure terror back in your voice again. Something so rare for you. You were looking to him for answers. You were looking to him to rescue you. 

Overhead, the last bits of light were shut out - glimpses of the street lights outside - as thick metal shudders collapsed down over the windows. The room was sealing itself shut, becoming air tight. 

“Stand back.” Jason told you, not waiting to see if you followed the instruction before he pulled out one of his guns and began shooting at the door’s heavy metal hinges. He knew it was futile and he feared that one of the bullets might ricochet off and hit you, but he didn’t have many options left. 

Then he heard it. The gentle hissing of gas being released into the air. 

Jason was naive to have hoped that it was Crane’s classic Fear Gas - that would have been a merciful walk in the park compared to what he had planned for you. Betraying Jonathan Crane meant that Jason had to be truly punished. 

Jason turned to you, wrapping his arms around you, as if trying to shield you from the air itself - but it was too late. You began coughing and struggling to breathe, and Jason looked on with confusion as his chest twisted with guilt. 

With his helmet on, he felt nothing. For the first few moments, he didn’t even understand what was going on as you gasped for air, struggling to form a word as you choked on each breath. Jason had no clue what the substance was or how he could fix it, looking on in horror as thick fog clouded around your ankles - your eyes bulging out of your head as you struggled for oxygen. 

“Y/N?” Jason gasped, holding you by both shoulders as you became weaker and leaned on him. “Y/N?” 

You couldn’t answer him. 

You continued to wheeze, your breath hitching against your throat harshly. As the fog reached up to touch your face, it left angry, blistering marks in your skin. Unlike Jason, you had no armor to protect yourself - and somehow, Crane had turned the air itself acidic. Your eyes became wrecked with bloody red streaks and your face swelled as you continued to choke. 

Jason’s insides screamed, but he felt too still. 

As more of the fog touched you, some of the marks on your neck and your cheek blistered more and opened up, bleeding out pinkish bubbling puss as Jason continued to hold you - he didn’t know what else to do. 

All he could do was hold you. 

A harsh foam seeped out of your mouth as you choked on your last half-breath, and Jason felt a stinging pain consuming him - he wasn’t sure if it was the acidic fog finally breaching through his clothing, or the biting pain of having you limp in his arms - dead, as he huddled there on the floor. 

“Come on.” Jason wept, steaming up the inside of his helmet as he recycled back his own breath now. He reached up to your cheek, accidentally skimming off a layer of your marred skin with his gloved thumb as he tried to wipe away some of the teary blood that had leaked from your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. Wake up.” 

Jason simply wept. And he held you. 

As he looked at the camera feed, Crane smiled. 

“This is what happens when you don’t play by the rules, Red.”

...

A/N: SOOOO obviously this ending leaves us with a lot of questions - did Jason survive? I think this can be interpreted one of two ways: one, Jason did live. He managed to escape somehow, and he had scars all over his body from the acidic fog, and he enacted a very vicious, bloody, torturous revenge on Crane before going into hiding forever (or before using Red Hood to give actual justice to innocent people who needed it, his scars always a reminder of who he lost). Or - he sat there in shock and eventually choked to death as well. Or he pulled the whole 'my life is not worth living anymore' thing and just took off his helmet on purpose. So you can imagine that either of those things happened next.

Also, if you didn't catch it (or, if you're not a Saw person) - this situation was heavily inspired by the final plot twist trap in Saw X. I love the acidic fog, and I feel like Crane could be a trap guy. The Titans version of Crane could be good friends with John, imo.

Also, if you enjoyed this fic, check out my DC Titans Masterlist for more of my other fics!! And please consider reblogging and commenting on this fic to tell me what you liked about it.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Good Omens graphic novel update: December 2023

What a year it’s been: we’re winding down as the festive season approaches and wanted to pop on for one last update before the new year.

While not technically graphic novel news, we wanted to take a(nother) moment to say: hooray, Season 3 of Good Omens has been confirmed. You’ve been asking, you’ve been patient, you’ve been - continuously - the best and most supportive fans. You can read more about it here.

What a note to end on. A lot of Good Omens love has been shared this year.

Cameos

One quick bit of admin: all information has been sent out to those who backed tiers including cameos. We are currently working through the submissions to check against the backer lists and make sure everything is correct and received safely, and will be in touch if there are any issues. Please note that if you filled out the form but are not a backer of either the Archangel Tier, God Tier or Apocalypse Tier, then your likeness will not be included, as the forms were specific to the tiers that included cameos. If you’ve filled out the form but are unsure, check your account to confirm what level you backed. If you have any questions, drop a message.

2023

Do we need to remind you that you helped Good Omens break many records this year? The highest funded first day for a comic on Kickstarter (funded in 15 minutes, too), the most backers for a comic project ever, and - of course - the most funded graphic novel on Kickstarter… in its entire history. We don’t take any of that for granted, and are diligently continuing our work in the background to make every single item worthy of these accolades.

2024

We’ve got a lot coming: the PledgeManager launch, the merch coming together, the graphic novel publication, the digital events with Neil, Rob and Colleen, the Good Omens merch store launching, many more plans on our ‘definitely going to happen’ and ‘could you imagine if we were able to–’ lists.

Seems like an ineffable, fabulous 2024 awaits. Speak then, and thank you - again, again, many more times over - for making this 2023 beyond our wildest imaginations.

Until next year.

[lee-laurent]

The Past - John Marino

Summary: The timeline of John and Tori's relationship

notes: This is like a prequel to 'Done Trying!' You don't have to read this part, but it gives background on John and Tori's relationship. How they got to where they are in the fic now. The part after this will be a continuation of 'Done Trying' so look for that in the next few days. Also, I do not want to hear any negative criticism about how I've written her depression. I have depression myself and this is how it manifests for me. It's different for everyone, so I don't want to see any hate. Your experience may be different than mine, but every mental health experience is valid.

content: angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, break ups, anxiety issues, arguments, birth (not super graphic), mentions of sex but no actual smut, depressive episode, body image issues, mentions of abortion

2019

Tori wasn't drunk by any means, just a bit tipsy. Her fake ID had worked and she was enjoying her night out with her friends. The bar wasn't particularly busy, but the girls were managing to make it feel like a party.

The group of girls all turned to look at the door as a group of rowdy men entered. They were all cheering loudly and patting each other on the back.

"Was there a hockey game tonight?" one of Tori's friends asked.

"I think so," she shrugged, downing the rest of her rum and coke. "I'm going to get another one."

"We'll be here!" one of the other girls giggled.

"Hi, could I have another rum and coke, please?" she grinned at the bartender.

"Sure thing," the man returned with the drink a few minutes later, placing it in front of her, "That'll be 6 dollars."

She reached into her back pocket, when a voice beside her stopped her, "I've got it."

She turned, looking at the man next to her. He was significantly taller than her five foot frame, with tan skin and unruly, dark curls he brushed from his eyes.

"Oh! Thank you," she grinned, taking her drink from the counter.

"I'm John."

"Tori."

"You come here often? Sorry, I know that's cliche as fuck."

"Ha! No worries, my friends and I come here some weeks. It seems your group of friends is making it a bit more lively."

"Hope we're not interrupting your night."

"Not at all. We were the only ones making noise before you guys showed up. You from around here?"

"I'm from Massachusetts. But I moved here for work. You?"

"Pittsburgh born and raised," she smiled, raising her glass up before taking a sip.

The couple continued talking for the rest of the night. Tori wasn't the hookup type though, so instead of going home with him, she gave him her number. Leading to a long line of dates, until he finally asked her out officially.

2020

The world had locked down. No more hockey. No more school. No more work. Tori had subsequently moved into John's apartment so that they would be able to spend time together during the pandemic.

"What're you making?" John asked, wrapping his arms around Tori's waist, tucking his face in the crook of her neck.

"Oatmeal cookies."

"Smells good, baby."

"How was your nap?"

"Relaxing. Would've been better if you were there."

"You know naps make me feel like shit."

"I know... but the bed feels so empty without you."

"God, you're cheesy," she grinned, lifting her hand up to run through his mop of curls. "You want me to trim these?"

"Mmm, not today. I like them long. Why? Do you not like them?"

"I love your curls, Johnny. So sexy."

He grinned, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"I'm going to play 'chel with the boys. Call if you need anything."

She nodded, turning back to rolling the cookie dough into perfect balls. She'd taken up baking during the lockdown. John kept telling her he was going to be out of shape for the next season if she kept it up, but he continued to taste test everything for her nonetheless.

Another month into the lockdown and Tori wasn't herself. She wouldn't leave bed, she was taking naps, and John could barely get her to eat. She claimed she was fine, but he didn't believe her in the slightest.

"Come on, baby. I made mac and cheese, your favourite," he tempted, sitting on the bed and running a hand through her matted hair.

"Not hungry."

"You've gotta be hungry. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning. And all you had then was a couple crackers."

"I'm not hungry. Let me sleep."

"You've been sleeping all day. Can you get up and take a shower for me?"

"Too tired."

"Tori, baby..."

She just rolled over, hiding her face in the duvet. He sighed, leaving the bedroom and going to eat the food he'd made... why let it go to waste.

"How's Victoria doing, love?" John's mom asked through the phone, worry lacing her voice.

"I can't get her to do anything except sleep. I'm trying, Mom. She just..."

"Do you know if she has a history of depressive episodes?"

"Yeah, one when she was in high school. But she said she learned skills to cope."

"Just be there for her, John. That's all I can suggest."

"Thanks, Mom."

Two hours later, Tori emerged from the bedroom. She was wearing the same clothes she had been for days and her hair desperately needed a wash to rid it of grease.

"Hi, baby," John smiled softly.

"Hi. Will you come take a shower with me?" she whispered.

"Sure, but first can you just eat a few bites of the food I made?"

"I... I don't know."

"Please, Tori. Just so I know you're eating."

"Okay."

She sat on his lap, picking at the bowl of pasta in front of them.

"Five bites and we can take a shower."

"Okay."

It took her 20 minutes to take those five bites, but she did it. The couple stood under the hot water of the shower, embracing the time together outside of their room. John helped her wash her hair and brush out all the knots. She forgot how nice it felt to feel clean. She turned in his arms, squishing her face into his torso.

"I've got you, baby. I've always got you. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry, John," she sobbed, "I've been a terrible girlfriend."

"Shh, no you haven't. You're just struggling right now. It's okay. We'll get through his together."

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I just want what's best for you. And rotting in bed isn't."

She leaned up and pressed a soft, loving kiss against his lips. When she went in for another one, he turned his head, her lips landing on his cheek.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry," she cried again.

"No, no. I just... I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you. I love you so much, but I can't... do anything until you're yourself again. Okay?"

"Okay."

The next day, John helped Tori find a therapist online. Even going as far as to join sessions to learn how he could help her to help herself.

2021

Now that lockdown restrictions had been lifted slightly, Tori was thriving. She was going on daily walks and working on new coping skills to use when she felt that numbness creeping back in.

John was back to playing hockey and finally their lives had back some normalcy. A normalcy that had formed itself into a very... intimate love life for the two. There didn't seem to be a day that the two weren't having sex. Tori was pretty sure roadies were the only days they weren't falling asleep naked.

It was amazing, until it all came crashing down at the end of December. Tori had been feeling like shit for almost a week now. She felt sluggish and the sent of John before he showered after practice had her sick to her stomach. The idea of being pregnant though wasn't even a thought that crossed her mind. She had an IUD. They were safe. Surely it couldn't be...

"Do you want me to pick up a test, just in case? I know you said it's like almost impossible," John asked as he walked to his car at the arena.

"Sure, if it'll make you feel better. Pick up two, just in case one is faulty."

"Sounds good, babe. Be home in 20. Love you."

"Love you too, Johnny."

The couple stood in the bathroom, re-reading the instructions for the tests.

"I think it's self explanatory, John."

"I just want to make sure you're doing it right!" he swatted her hand away as she tried to grab the paper from him.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, sitting on the toilet with the stick.

"Yeah, just piss on it. Then we've gotta wait 5 minutes."

"Sounds good. You stayin' in here while I pee?" she giggled.

"I'll be right outside."

Peeing on the test was harder than she thought. It was like she couldn't get herself to pee, she was so nervous. After a couple minutes though, she'd put the caps back on and placed them on the counter.

"Come in, John. But I'm telling you, I'm not pregnant. Trusty old IUD keeps your sperm outta there."

"Maybe I've got really persistant sperm."

"I-" the timer rang. "You ready?"

"Yep."

At the same time, they flipped the tests, the plastic clattering against the sink as Tori dropped it.

"They- They must be faulty. False positive, right? Right, John?"

"I- is that a common occurance? I'll google it," he typed on his phone quickly, spelling half the words wrong, "There's less than a 1% chance of that, Tori."

"So? Maybe we're in that percentage. Did you even get good ones?"

"They were the most expensive ones! I just grabbed them!"

"They're wrong."

"Victoria..."

"Don't 'Victoria' me! They're wrong! I'm not pregnant! It's just a cold."

John rolled his eyes, "Can you at least go to the doctor? Get meds for your cold then."

"Fine! I'll make an appointment right now!"

"Perfect. I'm going to make dinner."

"I'm not pregnant," she whispered to herself as she typed in the number for her doctor.

"Is there any chance you're pregnant?" the doctor asked, staring into Tori's eyes.

"I have an IUD."

"I've seen it happen. Would you mind giving us a urine sample?"

Yay. Peeing into more things.

It didn't take long for the results to come back. The doctor entered the room holding a stack of paperwork.

"So, the urine sample came back positive for high levels of hCG. Which means you are pregnant."

"That's not possible."

"I know this is probably a lot to take in right now. I've written down some suggestions for a few OBs I reccomend. As well as some supplements we reccomend for the early stages of pregnancy. From the test, I'd say you're about three weeks."

"Shit. Um, sorry. Thank you. I'll, uh, call these numbers," Tori forced a smile, rushing off to get home.

"So? You are pregnant?" John asked, his eyebrow quirked.

"Yes. I just-"

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say, Tori? 'Yay! I'm so excited to be a dad at 24!' Cause that'd be a lie."

"Stop acting like this is all my fault!"

"I never said that! I just... we've never even talked about having kids! This is all very sudden."

"How do you think I feel?! I'm the pregnant one! Now I have to tell all my friends and family that I got knocked up at 22!" she threw her purse down on the counter.

"You told me the IUD would work fine."

"Why are you blaming me? God, John! Grow up!"

"I should grow up?! You're the one yelling at me!"

"You're fucking infuriating!" she shouted, stomping off to their room. The door shut with a harsh slam, making the pictures on the wall swing.

"Fuck me," John muttered, grasping at his hair.

John slept on the couch that night, not wanting to deal with being yelled at again.

"We should talk about this, Tori," he offered at breakfast.

"Why? I'll just get the pregnancy terminated. You don't it."

"Tori... can we think about this? Make a rational decision."

"Why? Is getting an abortion not rational?"

"Not what I said. I just think you're still angry about yesterday, so you're not think rationally. We need to make a decision together here."

She rolled her eyes, "You made it clear how you feel."

"Did I?"

"Yeah, I think your words were 'I'm not excited to be a dad at 24!' So, there's our answer. You won't have to be," she sassed.

"Victoria, sit down."

"You're not my fucking dad."

"Stop acting like a child! Sit down!"

John rarely yelled at Tori, so the tone of his voice had her sitting right back down.

"Thank you. Listen, I'm not thrilled to be a dad right now, but I'm not telling you to end the pregnancy. I- we can make this work. I want you to make the final decision, but I won't be leaving if you decide this is what we're doing. I love you. And I support whatever decision you make. I will love that baby unconditionally."

"I... I need time to think about everything," she nodded, her lips pursed.

"I understand. But I really don't want to continue this arguing. I want us to enjoy our trip to Massachusetts. Not dwell on this and see our family."

"Okay, I have another appointment in January. You can come... if you'd like. I don't want to tell our families yet."

"Of course... I love you."

She sighed, "I love you too. No more fighting?"

"No more fighting," he nodded.

2022

Tori knew that nobody in the waiting area was judging her, but she felt judged. Her leg was bouncing, her nerves getting the best of her. She was filling out the paperwork that they'd given her. John placed a comforting hand on her thigh, trying to calm her.

"They're removing the IUD today. I don't know if you wanna be in there when they do it."

"I'll stay for moral support."

"Are you sure?"

"Why not," he shrugged.

Tori opened her mouth to respond when her name was called.

"Is your boyfriend coming with us today?" the nurse smiled.

"Yes, if that's okay."

"No problem! The doctor will be right in. We're going to start with the IUD removal. So if you could just strip from the waist down, she can get started."

"Do you want me to turn around?" John asked, taking a seat on the chair in the corner.

"No? Nothing you haven't seen before."

She sat down, throwing the sheet they'd.given her over her legs.

"Nervous?"

"A bit. It hurt to get in. People say it's worse coming out."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to hold your hand?"

"That'd be nice," she smiled.

There was a knock at the door, "We all ready in here?"

"Yep. Come in."

"Hi, Victoria! I'm Dr. Reese. It's nice to meet you!"

"Hi. This is my boyfriend, John."

"Nice to meet you as well! We're going to start with the IUD removal, then we can start chatting about baby. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Is it okay if John holds my hand?"

"Of course! Alright, scooch, scooch. Perfect. Take a deep breath for me."

Tori inhaled, squeezing John's hand. Her eyes screwed shut. A pained breath escaped her mouth. Even John squinted, watching as the doctor pulled on the little strings.

"And done!"

"Thank God," Tori whispered.

"I'll step out! You can throw your clothes back on and I'll be back in a minute with the ultrasound machine."

"You ready?" Tori asked John, buttoning up her jeans.

"Yeah," he shrugged, sitting back down.

John and Tori had discussed things the day before. They were keeping the baby. It was an emotional discussion. Talking about the logisitcs of the whole thing. Especially with her still in school and John playing hockey.

"Ready to see baby?" the doctor smiled brightly.

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Alright. I warmed up the gel, it shouldn't be too bad," Dr. Reese moved the wand over Tori's lower abdomen. "And here is baby."

It looked like a little blob, but it still made John's eyes water.

"So, you're about 6 weeks. Measurements look good. I'll want to see you again around 18-20 weeks. You can schedule that on your way out. Congratulations, again."

"You alright, babe?" Tori asked, noticing how quiet John had gotten.

"Hm, yeah. I just... I didn't think I'd be this emotional. Especially over what looks like an alien."

Tori laughed, "Don't call our baby an alien!"

"I'm sorry," he giggled, wiping his eyes, "But it does look a little like an alien."

"Okay... maybe just a little."

The couple left the doctors' office laughing quietly to themselves, their hands intertwined.

Six Months Pregnant - May 2022

It was three in the morning and Tori was sobbing, "You don't understand, John. We're out of pickles."

"I heard you. I just... I don't understand why you're crying."

"I need pickles, John," she cried.

"I- I don't know where to get you pickles at 3am. Everything is closed."

Tori pulled herself out of bed, storming into the kitchen. She dug through the fridge and freezer, trying to find anything that would help her cravings. She pulled a bowl of watermelon out of the fridge, digging in.

John sluggishly joined her in the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll get you pickles in the morning."

She just nodded, taking another forkful of melon. It wasn't as fulfilling was a jar of mini dill pickles, but it was helping. She couldn't even count how many jars of pickles she'd gone through during her pregnancy, but this was the first time they'd been out. It felt like the end of the world to her pregnancy hormones.

John loved Tori to bits, but the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy was beginning to make him tired. He knew it wasn't fair and that she was going through much more, but lord was he exhausted.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or should I go back to bed?"

She shrugged, shovelling more food into her mouth. John sighed, coming around the counter. He placed a hand on her waist and one on her growing stomach.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

She hummed, taking one last bite. They shuffled back to the bedroom, Tori hugging onto her pregnancy pillow. John fucking hated the thing, but Tori couldn't sleep without it, so... he'd deal with it for the next three months.

August 2022

John had just been traded from Pittsburgh to New Jersey and now... it was time for their baby to enter the world.

"Ah!" Tori gripped her stomach. She was walking around the hospital room, waiting to be fully dilated. John was being supportive as possible, getting her more ice chips when requested and holding her hand when ever she felt a contraction. "Is it time yet?"

"The nurse said it could be a while, because it's your first."

"It's going to be our only. Holy shit! Why did you do this to me?"

John laughed, "I'm sorry, baby. You're the strongest woman I know. You've got this. Do you want to use the yoga ball again?"

"No! I just want the baby out of me!"

"And they said that the yoga ball will help that."

"Fine," she groaned, squatting down on the blue yoga ball. John smiled, watching as she bounced up and down, her cup of ice chips in her hand.

"They'll be back with the epidural soon. Then it'll be smooth sailing," he comforted.

10 hours later and she was finally pushing. She was squeezing John's hand so tight he thought it might break. But he tried to be supportive nonetheless.

"One more big push, Mama," the doctor smiled.

"I can't do it."

"You've got this, Tori," John whispered.

"I can't do it."

"Just one more push and our baby is here, love."

She braced, feeling the pressure one last time. She pushed and a wail filled the room.

"And here's baby boy."

"It's a boy?" John was smiling so wide, it hurt his cheeks.

"It is. Want to come cut the cord, Dad?"

He nodded excitedly, watching as they gave his son his first bath.

"Here you go, Mama," they placed the baby on her chest.

"Hi, baby," she was too tired to cry, but her son was so beautiful. He had a head of dark hair which explained the heartburn she'd had during the pregnancy.

"We'll be back in a bit to help you get him to latch. And then they'll be in with the name paperwork."

"Here," John smiled, unbuttoning part of her gown so she could do skin to skin.

"Riley."

"Hm?"

"Riley Alexander Marino."

"It's perfect, baby. Here, I'll hold him. You get some rest."

December 2022

Things were falling apart. The couple was arguing almost every day. Tori was struggling. She hated the way she looked and that feeling of numbness was starting to creep back in. But she wouldn't allow it, she needed to be there for Riley.

John was going through the hockey season and adjusting to a new team. He was barely home. And when he was, he was beyond tired. Not being much help at all. Night shifts were nonexisitant. It was always Tori getting up to get their son. John either "slept through it" or "was too tired from hockey."

Everything came crumbling down a week before Christmas.

"You're not any fucking help! Ever!" Tori yelled, throwing the burp cloth down on the counter. "I haven't left the apartment in days! I haven't been able to take a shower in days! All I do is take care of Riley!"

"Your his mom! Did you think you wouldn't have to take care of him?!"

"God! That's not what I meant and you KNOW it! Your his dad! When are you going to step up and actually do some fucking work?"

"I'm providing for us, Victoria! Would you rather I quit and we have no income?!"

"That's it. I'm leaving!"

"You're leaving?! Where are you going?"

"Anywhere that you aren't, John. I can't fucking deal with you right now. Call me when you've grown the fuck up and decide you actually want anything to do with your son," she stormed off to the bedroom, throwing things into a duffle bag.

"Victoria! You can't just leave! Talk to me!"

"I can leave! I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

"You- you can't just leave with Riley!"

"Sure, I can! Not like you parent him at all!"

"Victoria!"

"No! Fuck off!"

The screaming woke Riley from his nap and his wails soon filled the apartment as well.

"Great! Look what you've done!" John threw his hands up in frustration.

"What I did? You're so fucking immature. Stop acting like you're 12 and start acting like the 25-year-old you are!" Tori went to the nursery, grabbing some of Riley's things and putting them in the bag as well. She picked up her son, strapping him into his carrier. John was standing in the door, shell-shocked.

"Please, Tori. Just think about this. Please."

"No. I'll be back for more of our things in a couple days," she shook her head, leaving John all alone in the apartment.

March 2023

It was official. John and Victoria were done. Tori had gotten her own place and Riley went to see John every weekend. Slowly but surely, John and Tori were forming a friendship. They wanted things between them to be good for Riley.

And this friendship leads us to where we are now...

[critter-genfic-events]

Genfic Horror Recs

Spooky season, be upon us! Here are nine horror recs - from haunted houses, possessions, werewolves, and lots of body horror. Check them out under the cut, mind the tags, and of course - comment and kudos if you like them!

SOJOURN (the house that caleb built) by Mikkeneko (63860,Teen) Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, body horror, vomiting, drowning, burning, institutional violence Pairings:

When the Mighty Nein find themselves stranded in the middle of a journey, Caleb tries out a new spell for his friends – Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion. Then Caduceus wakes up in the middle of the night with to find the mansion hideously changed and Caleb… gone.

Reccer says: Written long before Caleb made the tower, this imagines the mansion as a haunted house created by Caleb's trauma and is fascinating

Let me in by Fruitbird15 (2636,Teen) Warnings: child death Pairings:

The Forest is not the only thing the blight stole from the Clay's

Reccer says: The idea of there being a dead Clay sibling that is infected with the savalirwood's rot and the Clays just dealing with it is just.. chef's kiss and terrifying

trapped in the walls of my skin by grayintogreen (3538,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Lucien's return to life rapidly becomes a horror story.

Reccer says: This fic takes a brutal look at the absolute body horror that returning to life and realizing that someone else has been using your body while you were out of it would be.

Dead is the new alive by PryingBlackbird (50511,Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Violence/Torture Pairings: Vax & The Briarwoods, Background Vox Machina Ships (not focused)

When Vax sneaks into the Briarwoods room at the banquet, they kidnap him and take him to Whitestone

Reccer says: All the angst It's unfinished, but I have it on authority that the author is going to continue it soon.

Autotomous, We by InsanitySilver (53978,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Kingsley seeks to disentangle himself from the Chained Oblivion by involving himself in a ritual that will take him through the deepest recesses of his mind alongside all the people he used to be.

Reccer says: This is an absolutely beautiful story that is both character exploration, tragedy, and horror story that still culminates into a bittersweet (but mostly sweet) ending. One of my favorite CR fics to date.

Itch by pigflight (1487,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

The first time Deliliah showed up in Laudna's head

Reccer says: I love the way that Pigflight writes Delilah and Laudna's relationship, and this is certainly horrifying!

I won't be your casualty by PryingBlackbird (1686,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Laudna & Delilah Briarwood

Laudna wakes up on a tree, and slowly reclaims her life.

Reccer says: There's not enough fics about what happened to Laudna the night she died, and what followed. This is a good one.

It'll Be Over Soon by NKMLN (27898,Mature) Warnings: vomiting, character death, amnesia, body dysphoria, self harm Pairings: Fjord/Jester Lavorre

When a trip to check on Bwualli goes wrong, Kingsley finds himself marooned in the Shattered Teeth, far from the reach of the gods. World history ensues.

Reccer says: Extremely good exploration of the purple tiefling. Amazing

Bitten by sparklegem (7429,Teen) Warnings: body horror, graphic depictions of violence Pairings:

A rough-and-tumble gang capture Percy and Vex and exact their vengeance on Vex for past deeds. Rather than kill her themselves, they infect Percy with lycanthropy and trap her with the ticking timebomb that is a newly turned werewolf.

Reccer says: I liked it

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

October 1st, it'll be time for Taryon Darrington - followed by Alternate Meetings, Beau, and then One shots!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[lettingthoughtsflow]

season 1: episode 1 (crush, chop, & burn pt. 1)

alright y'all I'm bulletpointing as I watch so let's go!!

the whole "mrs. and mr. davenport" beginning scene is literally seared into my brain from childhood-i think it's funny how clearly i remember it

when we meet the team they're in these mission suit esque things and seeing as all they do is train, is that what they live in????

davenport saying "i don't want to brag, but i am incredibly smart" when introducing the kids is so wild when you consider the fact that he probably didn't have anything to do with making the kids

i love how offended they get when tasha calls them robots

tasha and leo have such a cute relationship i freaking love it

i know we hate donald, and rightfully so, but this episode really amps me up bc dude you are literally introducing them to your wife and you keep talking about them like plants you're growing

when donald is introducing the kids, tasha's the only one recognizing that they're children

"i wanna go upstairs" 😭

they literally never leave the room, it's not just because of filming and set design, they don't even have a place to run THERE'S A RAT WHEEL

@fairytalesociology said that davenport feeds the kids glorified dog food and they're so right

you can't just feed them food??? even preordered????

they eat, sleep, and bathe in their capsules no one can convince me the man was just looking to be cost effective in getting these inventions perfected (they were not children to him AT ALL)

bree is just a girl and i love her for it bc thinking about breaking into song/dance numbers is so real

If you pay attention to the background you can see chase playing with a random locker for a while and I think it’s so funny/cute

Honestly I with it opened and he was just using his bionic hearing to unlock the locker

i just noticed leo has brown paper wrapped around his textbooks and it reminds me of when my mom and i use to make book covers out of trader joes bags and decorate them 💗

baby chase was insterested in chess club and taking med school courses, he deserved more extracurriculars and hobbies in the show

the early heat vision graphics 😅

"i know a chiropractor in the phillipines" is so cute

davenport is awful but the freaking out performances are great

30 grand for a situation to go away is insane bc what really happened??? like yeah the mascot's head caught on fire but it wasn't like they destroyed the building. and even if it was a bribe to get rid of witnesses, you'd have to adress the entire school bc it was a pep rally

tasha being a mom to the kids is so cute like yeah, they're just kids

bree immediately getting excited about the party with tasha is freaking adorable, we deserved more Tasha fr

honestly i think she was more freaked out about the kids than their bionics

lecturing them about how they were designed for missions is so disheartening bc 1. you've probably told them all about how they're top sercret their whole lives and 2. they are superHUMANS

it honestly feels akin to when a parent tells a child they have to be perfect or pushes them into a career they never wanted

yes bc having no contact with the outside world will prevent their glitches and train them for missions (not to mention real life)

obviously it's the perfect solution

honestly if they socialized they would probably have better emotional regulation and control over their glitches. like you could have at least brought them to a company party (and told everyone to treat them as humans) so they have practice talking to people.

chase really was always in blue plaid from the start huh?

"they are not just science projects, they're teenagers" TELL HIM QUEEN

bro you're going to tell me that you can't reprogram your ROBOT FRIEND to like your WIFE

like he can still be snarky but he literally hates her

i really hope someone gets this, but there are a few scenes where Adam feels more like a regular person than just someone who's core personality is being kind of dumb and reckless, and the ending scene before everyone goes to bed is one of those few scenes

[justherefortua]

The Teaser Trailer: Transcribed

I got so hyped that I combed through the entire teaser trailer at 0.25x speed to catch everything for prediction and speculation. But this might be helpful for people with screen readers, maybe? Or who can’t watch for any other reason.

This is pretty informal, but very interesting to think about!

(1) Luther and Ben walking into the a place lit with orange light.

Speculation: (manor?) I also might be wrong about it being Luther, it’s in shadow, hard to see.

(2) Zoom in on a decrepit, old, cobwebbed “Hargreeves home for Wayward Boys”, and a bird flies away.

(3) Reginald: “Our world is changing,”

(4) Five standing in a subway station as an empty train comes by.

Speculation: time traveling mechanism, also Ben was on a subway in the last scene of season 3, so could be connected!

(5) Reginald: “has changed.”

Another shot of Five looking at the subway from a different angle, slightly alarmed somewhat (I think)

(6) Reginald: “There are some among us”

Viktor as a bartender gets a call, and rubs at his eyebrow a bit.

(7) Reginald: “gifted with abilities”

Allison holds Claire’s cheeks, smiling, in some sort of bedroom.

(8) Reginald: “far beyond the ordinary”

Someone closes the door on Ben, who is holding a plastic bag and appears to be facing a bunch of prison cells, or some other grimy facility.

(9) Diego turning around a small girl with a big grin, who’s about to hit a pinata at a celebration, a bunch of other girls in party hats and their parents, presumably, in line behind her.

Speculation + Commentary: absolutely precious. This is likely Diego and Lila’s daughter.

(10) Reginald: “I have adopted six such children.”

Luther putting on a space helmet in a space suit.

Speculation: Something pertaining to Abigail was on the moon…that was the first timeline, but Spaceboy is looking to be returning!

(11) Reginald: “I give you.. the inaugural class”

Klaus in some sort of grimy apartment. It’s kind of hard to tell.

Speculation: He might be hanging from the ceiling, floating perhaps?

(12) Reginald: “of the Umbrella Academy”.

Viktor, Allison, Five, Klaus, Diego holding Ben’s jacket, then Lila in front of a phonebox in a snowy area.

(13) Luther using the camera to take a picture, saying “aaaaand…..smile!” The van (Diego’s van, most likely) is in the background.

(14) Viktor, Allison, Five, Klaus, Lila: not pleased, Viktor and Lila actually partly cover their faces.

Klaus says “oh no”.

Diego and Ben pose cutely, Diego looking serious while Ben is the only one actually smiling.

The screen gains a white border to show us the actual photo taken.

(15) Netflix logo

(16) Shots of them walking, then shots from the top, then shots from the “front” where we follow Diego.

Diego: “We’re back. We’re back, out the way. Out the way. Out the way.”

Lila: “I’m going in the front!

Allison: Why are you yelling?!

A chorus of groans from the rest.

Ben: Shut up!

(17) They get in the van.

Diego, punching the roof of the car: First mission back!

Ben: Hell yes! Let’s go kill this b****!

Diego driving, Five passenger, Klaus-Lila-Allison middle, Klaus is breathing into a paper bag

Ben-Viktor next to each other.

Luther in the very back.

(18) Comedic pause as everyone reacts with “what the hell” faces.

Allison: This is a rescue mission.

Ben: …Right.

(19) The subway line aesthetic comes in.

Typography: On August 8

The song, “The Final Countdown” starts playing in the background

(20) A huge drone helicopter takes off.

Speculation: I’ve already seen this on the timeline, but apparently this is “The Minerva” from the comics. Credit to @/feralnumberfive for pointing this out!

(21) Subway line graphics

Typography: See the Final Timeline

(22) Five and Lila at a glowing orange subway map, Lila running her hand across it.

Speculation: Likely how they traverse the timelines.

(23) Allison(maybe) and Luther(maybe) looking up at a white and blue pristine building, the van is parked.

(24) “You children bicker constantly..”

Luther does a light shove at Diego, who is in his vigilante gear again.

(25) They’re in the manor, Viktor is angrily punching someone (Ben?) while the rest look surprised, Klaus and Diego try to intervene.

(26) Viktor: “Yeah, and we drive each other crazy.”

Cut to Reginald, who is having this conversation with Viktor.

(27) Five and Diego about to punch each other, with Allison(maybe) coming in yelling at the end.

(28) Allison hitting a steering wheel/car dashboard.

(29) I assume our new characters for the season doing a dance and a synchronized clap. In an attic room (maybe) decorated with multicolored lights.

(30) Viktor: “But when things go to hell,”

On the clap, it cuts to an explosion. A dead soldier with a gun lies to the right, but it’s hard to make out.

Speculation: This is likely connected to the last scene with Ben and the soldier.

(31) It cuts away very quickly, but Five and Lila entering a ruined area, bright fires burning around them. They enter out of the subway with some strange runes and symbols for the “Station”.

Speculation: Another timeline, another apocalypse, or a destroyed Commission headquarters.

(32) A retro diner that sells chicken nuggets. The waiters are handing out guns.

(33) Viktor: “They’re there for me”

Shot of Viktor talking, then Five holding Lila as she breaks down crying. I think they’re still in the subway.

(34) Room with blue neon lights. Reginald strapping Allison down into a machine. Someone else strapping Diego down into a machine. There is a woman behind him. The lights turn red.

Speculation: The woman might be Abigail, Reginald’s wife. Doesn’t look like Grace. This machine might have something to do with the marigold that powers them all.

(35) A lever is pulled. Screen goes dark.

(36) Klaus: “God, what a bunch of losers…”

Klaus sits on the floor, Five, Luther, Allison on a couch.

(37) Diego shirtless and Luther, who seems to be big again, doing a fun little handshake.

(38) Five blinking except its purple instead of Blue.

Confusion: is this the subway again, or somewhere else? There’s a bunch of tile.

(39) A Santa running while shooting guns in both of his hands.

(40) A shot of the magical timeline subway from the subway’s perspective.

(41) A reveal of an Umbrella Tattoo, except instead of curving down it looks like the Umbrella is inside out and spiking up.

(42) Klaus with a bunch of candles and Knick-knacks, likely doing some sort of Seance.

(43) They’re in the van again. No Ben. Diego driving, Allison passenger, Lila-Luther-Five, and Klaus in the back.

(44) The drone thing flying somewhere

(45) Luther emerging from a ball pit with joy in his eyes.

(46) A gloved hand grasping another non-gloved hand with intense orange-yellow-red energy

(47) In a extremely white and fancy room, Reginald approaching with a gun and someone in the foreground falling over (unclear)

(48) Viktor with orange palms sending a plastic of energy at someone.

(49) Luther seems to be fighting someone, and Diego is throwing someone wearing heels through a glass door, same outfits as the handshake scene.

(50) A soldier being dragged by a tentacle. There are dismembered limbs on the floor (hand, head, part of a leg, maybe?).

In the background, something is on fire. Ben’s tentacles sprout from the back instead of his stomach. He takes a deep breath, the soldier flung far into the background with ease.

[arshipweek]

AR Ship Week - Fandom in 2024

Another year, another shipweek, and another State of the AR Shipping Fandom post. This is the first weekly post leading up to the Alex Rider Ship Week. Just under 4 weeks to go!

This post focuses on pre-S3 fandom, since the data was scraped before the season was released, but we might do an update for post-S3 fics. For methodology, it can be found both on the graphic analysis pages and in the notes at the bottom of this post. For those only curious about the popular pairings this year (1), feel free to read right on.

This year, we have analysed a few specific shipping stats to get a look at us as a fandom.

We have also created an interactive dashboard of all the graphs for you to explore. This is where the following data was taken from, as well as some bonus visuals!

A Timeline of AO3

For a blast from the past, we took a look at the shipping timeline - the count of fics and authors per year for the top ten most popular AR ships - and found immediate proof that as a shipping fandom, we're still small enough that a few, determined people can make a difference. AR fandom's use of AO3 as its primary fandom purveyor is fairly recent, as most of its history can be found on FFnet, but with a total of just under 3k fics as of April 20th, we're gaining on FFnet's 4.5k of AR fics at a very respectable pace.

Some particular developments were:

The number of Yalex authors was about the same in 2021 - 2023 (just around 40) but the number of Yalex fics in 2022 was almost double that of 2021 and 2023. This was not due to a sudden, imported backlog that we could see but a handful of popular events/challenges and potentially the release of S2 in December of 2021.

Tom/Alex and Yassen/Ian both had a peak of fics in 2021, most likely because of the release of S1 that gave Tom a much larger part and offered an intriguing look at Yassen and Ian's potential past.

Fiona/Sabina had a huge spike in fics in 2023 due to a Femmeslash February event (2) that sent it firmly up the ranks of popular ships.

The State of the OTP

For the top ten AR ships, we also took a look at how many of the writers that had written other AR ships (and which ones) to look for interesting patterns and to see if there was any real difference to spot. As it turns out, the answer was a resounding yes:

At one extreme, we have Alexmis (Alex Rider/Artemis Fowl) which is a fandom unto itself. Only 20 percent of the writers of the pairing have written for other pairings in AR fandom fics, and Alexmis fics as a whole tend to lean more towards adding Alex to the Artemis Fowl world rather than vice versa (3).

In the middle range, we have Yalex and Alex/Wolf - two pairings about as old as the fandom itself, and which both have an OTP percentage around 55 - as well as (mostly) newcomers Tom/Alex and Kyra/Alex, both with an OTP percentage in the 40-50 range.

At the other extreme, we have Yassen/John with an OTP percentage of just 4. Fiona/Sabina does it one better with an OTP rate of 0 (!) but the sample size here is so small it makes no meaning to compare it.

So what other pairings do these writers enjoy indulging in, then?

Yalex writers really like their Yassen pairings. Out of the combined number of non-Yalex fics the Yalex authors have written, 24 percent of them are Yassen/Ian and 22 percent are Yassen/John. This means that almost half of their non-Yalex pairings feature Yassen in some way.

70 percent of John/Helen shippers have written other pairings, too - probably because of the pairing's nature as a background part of Alex's story and not necessarily the focus of a shipfic they're in. 30 percent of the fics written by John/Helen writers outside of the ship are Yalex (and 6 percent are Yassen/John).

The case is even more extreme for Yassen/John, which is firmly entwined with the Yalex pairing. 96 percent of the writers have written other AR ships, with three quarters of those fics being Yalex.

Text Analysis

Interactive dashboard with graphs and visuals

We also ran a text analysis on the shipfics to look for patterns and recurring details in the writing - first in general, then for specific ships. The amount of detail for each ship depends a lot on the sample size, which results in a detailed, varied word cloud for Yalex and somewhat less so for several of the smaller ships.

For that analysis, we recommend clicking around to explore the word clouds and get a feel for the different ships, but for the ambitious types, we have a word hunt ready as well (4):

Word Hunt, Significant Phrases edition:

Tools of the Trade:

Duct tape

Frying pan

Krav Maga

Sniper rifle

Zip ties

I Know That Reference:

Fer de Lance

Air Force

Albert Bridge

Point Blanc

Brecon Beacons

Getting Kinky:

Boxer briefs

Dimly lit

Lower lip

Pressed a kiss

Yes sir

Feel free to comment with any particularly entertaining/intriguing/otherwise just plain fun word cloud combinations you've spotted, and we will see you again next week!

______ 

Note on methodology:

The two Alex Rider sections (main + TV) were scraped over the course of two days in early March 2024, except for fics that were locked to AO3 users only (5). For the author specific statistics, we excluded orphan_account and anonymous authors. Median measures were chosen over average the majority of the time to account for outliers, especially in the case of the rarer pairings (6).

For ship-analysis, a fic counts under every pairing it has. This means that someone who writes Yassen/Alex, Yassen/John and Yassen/Ian in the same fic (7) will count as an author for all three pairings and under the Yalex OTP analysis, they will have an additional fic marked under both Yassen/John and Yassen/Ian.

(1) Yalex. It's Yalex. Look, we're not even going to bother posting the stats for that. It's still Yalex, trust us. Though we can talk again next year, considering how well Kyralex is currently doing post-S3. (2) Proving that a few, determined writers can make or break the non-Yalex ship rankings. Please use this power for good; if someone manages to get Sayle/Nadia Vole or something into the top three next year, I'm outsourcing that part of the stat post to a particularly enthusiastic raccoon with a keyboard. (3) Canonically, the wholesale kidnapping of Alex is pretty on-brand for Alex Rider supervillains so really, Artemis is in excellent company. (4) Technically two, but there is unsurprisingly a lot of overlap between the general wordcloud and the Yalex one. For those curious, here's the Word Hunt, Yalex edition:

Adam's apple

Bottle of lube

Cock

Index finger

Nerve endings

Pale skin

Scar tissue

(5) As of April 20th, 225 out of 2961 fics were locked to AO3 users. (6) Meaning anything non-Yalex, let's all be honest here. (7) Because sometimes, like a particularly persistent Pokémon player, Yassen also needs to catch them all. Traumas or Riders is dealer's choice.

[desertdollranch]

Dolls brands I never thought I'd own, part 4: Global PenPals

Meet Amity Anderson!

This doll was a tough cookie to track down. I first stumbled across her last year while searching for a completely different doll on eBay. I thought she was adorable, but priced way too high, so I let someone else have her. When I saw her come up again recently for a lot cheaper, I lost the bidding war. When she popped up unexpectedly a third time, I managed to snap her up right away.

The first time I saw her, I was curious about her origin, since the listing said nothing about the brand, Global PenPals. I figured it was someone's small business, because it's an unfortunate truth that many, many 18 inch doll companies produce beautiful and quality dolls for a few short years and then go out of business. Because she certainly didn't look poorly made or low quality; she obviously had a lot of love put into her production. I could tell she had a really nice wig and a carefully sculpted, realistic face mold. She was meant to be more than just a toy, but a little friend as well. That's what I liked about her. She was special, rare, obscure, and unique. And as much as I love my American Girl dolls, I also love the rare and obscure 18 inch dolls that have fallen into my lap over the years through pure luck. That has turned me into a connoisseur of obscure dolls. The rarer, the better.

So for that reason I couldn't get her off my mind. I became very fixated on finding one. I did a Google search that brought up nothing but the listing for her, plus a few dolls with similar brand names, or sites for finding an actual human pen pal. But I noticed the listing photo included a picture of her box, which had the URL of the brand's website. It was defunct, so I plugged into the Wayback Machine at archive.org to see what I could find.

Keep reading for a deep dive into The Global PenPals.

(Hello to anyone in the future who might be doing a web search about this doll! I'm sure you've found little to no information. I've put everything right here for your convenience!)

...

The site's first snapshot was taken in February 2011. It has a very short intro:

"This site is dedicated to children everywhere. Autumn Woods and Amity Anderson will begin pen pal corresponding with children in other parts of the world. They will learn about different living conditions and diverse cultural traditions. Will they discover that children are the same worldwide? Come along with us and see!"

None of the links on the sidebar were archived by the Wayback machine, so I looked at the next three snapshots, taken in July 2013, January 2014, and December 2014 (the final snapshot).

Now this snapshot displays a lot more content, although once again most of the site didn't get archived. The intro is more or less the same. But now we can see illustrations of the two main characters, Autumn Woods and Amity Anderson.

Clicking through the "Meet and learn more about Autumn" graphic linked to a page that had biographies for both characters.

Autumn Woods introduces herself first. She was born in October, hence her name, but she loves Christmas more. She lives in Kennewick, Washington with her parents and younger sister, and likes her school. She's athletic and loves to do cartwheels. Her best friend Amity lives in Basin City, near the farm where her grandparents live. She doesn't know a whole lot about the world outside of Kennewick, so she's looking forward to making pen pals all around the world.

Amity Anderson introduces herself next. She loves living on a farm in Basin City, and most of the other kids at her school are also from farming families, or live in the area seasonally, which has made her curious about the lives of other children of different background. Her family grows cherries, and sometimes the crops fail due to weather conditions. They also have lots of animals including dogs, cats, and cows. She has a secret hideout in the hay loft.

The next page linked at the top contains all of the pen pal letters to and from Autumn and Amity.

There are 10 pages of these letters. The first letter is dated June 11th of 2011, and the final one is dated August 14th of 2013.

Next link is Marcia's Dolls.

To sum it up, Global PenPals was started by Marcia Elovich in 2010. She had always sewn doll clothes for her granddaughter, and her husband built doll furniture. She used dolls to help schoolchildren learn more about the lives and perspectives of children all over the world. She modeled the dolls' faces on her granddaughter and niece, and hopes to introduce more dolls to the brand.

The next link is to the shop.

Only the Amity doll is being sold here. All the images are broken, but I can see that Amity cost $59.00.

The next tab, Media, is pretty much empty.

That's all that I can access with the Wayback Machine, but I didn't stop there.

I Googled Marcia Elovich and found the three Global PenPals books she has published.

These are current, no need to use the Wayback Machine. Here's the link to the list if you're curious about the books. You can click through and read summaries of each.

"About the Author" on the second and third books:

Marcia Harvey Elovich has enjoyed interacting with children in family, at school and other community settings. When she began looking forward to retirement from the local school district, she set up a website around two fictional characters, Amity Anderson and Autumn Woods, using her granddaughter and her niece as visual models for the character images she draws. Through the website, Marcia continues to story-tell to youngsters and adults alike. Amity lives on the farm in Basin City where, in fact, Marcia was raised, and she pursues many of the same interests and activities Marcia did while growing up with her best friend Linda. Autumn lives in town and attends Amistad Elementary School, where Marcia formerly worked as a para-eductor, and earlier as a nurse in the Kennewick School District. This was the birthplace of her peaked interest in interacting with children and later-in-life interest in education. Marcia has recently begun manufacturing of the character dolls and is now converting the website stories into children's books. Also within the framework of her stories, Marcia has interactions from her personal pen pals with whom she is communicating around the globe. Through contrast and compare, she can better present awareness of how alike we are from country to country, culture to culture, religion to religion. "Perhaps the next generation will be more compassionate, not merely tolerating diversity but embracing it!" she adds. In their retirement, Marcia works with her husband and sidekick Bob, marketing her dolls and his woodworked doll furniture. She has one young adult son living at home and an older son living within the community. Her daughter and grandchildren live out of state, so she has to love them long-distance. Through Bob, she has acquired a second daughter who lives in the area and a step-son living out of state. Marcia specifically wants to thank her mother and father, Bob and Kay Harvey, for providing a childhood almost as colorful as the fictional one of which she writes. They gave to her, her three brothers and many childhood friends their mentoring in an era when the village actually did help raise the children.

I also found Marcia's Pinterest profile. She has pinned exactly four images.

The first two are the illustrations seen on the website. The other two are pictures of the dolls.

This picture's caption:

"Amity Anderson if one of the first two characters at www.theglobalpenpals.com and the first to be manufactured as a doll. She is vinyl with soft body and has beautiful peach complexion, with perfect detail down to tiny doll- scale freckles across her nose. She comes in clothes as seen, turquoise tennis shoes, and the matching elastic headband on her long, tangle-free auburn hair. I designed the doll after my own granddaughter. Lovely presentation box designed solely for The Global PenPals."

This confirms that the doll I have is indeed Amity, not Autumn as I had sort of guessed. Amity is illustrated with bangs, but it seems that changed at some point in the doll's design.

I guess that's Autumn on the left? I see no indication on the site or elsewhere that she was ever sold, so it's possible she never made it past the prototype stage.

There's very little else out there about the dolls. A few pictures on Worthpoint with captions stating what I've already put here.

Amity seems to be one of those ultra-rare dolls that only a few collectors know about. After losing out on two other listings, I know that at least two other people do have one and know what Amity is worth. But I have no idea exactly how many dolls were ever produced and sold before the brand disappeared, which probably happened within three years of their debut.

I wonder if their failure may have been due to the price point, $59, which seems very low for a doll with such a nice wig, sleep eyes, a cloth body, a beautifully designed box, and proprietary clothing.

[adeepdive]

A Deep Dive

In the ever-evolving landscape of digital content, Tumblr has carved out a unique niche as a haven for creatives. Among the myriad of blogs that populate this platform, those focused on aesthetic photography and visual arts have emerged as some of the most popular and influential. These blogs are not only visually captivating but also serve as powerful tools for personal expression, community building, and even brand development. This article explores the rise of aesthetic photography and visual arts on Tumblr, offering insights into what makes these blogs so compelling and how they contribute to the broader digital ecosystem.

Aesthetic Photography: A Visual Language of Its Own

Aesthetic photography on Tumblr is defined by its focus on beauty, mood, and emotion. Unlike traditional photography that often prioritises technical precision, aesthetic photography is more concerned with the overall feel and atmosphere of an image. This genre often features minimalistic compositions, soft colour palettes, and an emphasis on natural light. Common subjects include landscapes, urban scenes, and everyday objects, all captured in a way that evokes a sense of serenity and introspection.

One of the key reasons for the popularity of aesthetic photography on Tumblr is its ability to convey complex emotions without the need for words. In a world saturated with information, these images offer a moment of pause, inviting viewers to immerse themselves in the visual experience. The images often tell a story or evoke a memory, making them deeply personal to both the creator and the audience.

The Power of Visual Storytelling

Visual arts blogs on Tumblr often go hand-in-hand with aesthetic photography. These blogs curate and share a wide range of visual content, including digital illustrations, graphic designs, and mixed media art. The content is typically arranged in a cohesive and visually pleasing manner, often following specific colour schemes or themes. This level of curation transforms a simple blog into a work of art in itself, making it a destination for those seeking inspiration and creativity.

One of the most significant aspects of these blogs is their ability to tell stories through visuals. Whether it’s a series of photographs capturing the changing seasons or a collection of illustrations depicting a personal journey, these blogs use images to convey narratives that resonate with their audience. This form of storytelling is particularly powerful on a platform like Tumblr, where users are encouraged to engage with content through likes, reblogs, and comments. The interactive nature of Tumblr allows these visual stories to reach a wider audience, creating a sense of community among those who share similar tastes and interests.

Community and Collaboration

Aesthetic photography and visual arts blogs on Tumblr have fostered a strong sense of community. Creators and followers alike engage in conversations about techniques, inspirations, and the meaning behind the art. This collaborative environment encourages learning and growth, making Tumblr a valuable resource for both aspiring and established artists.

Moreover, these blogs often serve as platforms for collaboration. Artists from different backgrounds and disciplines come together to create joint projects, whether it’s a photography series, a zine, or even a virtual exhibition. These collaborations not only enrich the content but also help artists expand their reach and gain exposure to new audiences.

SEO and Brand Development

For artists and photographers looking to establish a brand, Tumblr offers a unique opportunity to build a following organically. By consistently posting high-quality content and engaging with the community, creators can increase their visibility and attract potential clients or collaborators. SEO plays a crucial role in this process, as optimising posts with relevant tags and descriptions can significantly improve a blog’s discoverability.

Tags such as “aesthetic photography,” “visual art,” “minimalism,” and “digital illustration” are essential for reaching the right audience. Additionally, using descriptive captions and alt text not only improves accessibility but also enhances search engine ranking, making the content more likely to appear in relevant searches.

Conclusion: The Future of Aesthetic Blogs on Tumblr

As digital culture continues to evolve, aesthetic photography and visual arts blogs on Tumblr are likely to remain influential. These blogs offer more than just visual appeal; they provide a space for creativity, community, and personal expression. Whether you’re an artist looking to share your work, a brand seeking to connect with a creative audience, or simply a lover of beautiful visuals, Tumblr’s aesthetic photography and visual arts blogs offer something for everyone.

In a world where visual content reigns supreme, these blogs are not just a trend—they are a testament to the enduring power of art and the human desire to create and connect. As the platform continues to grow and adapt, one thing is certain: the aesthetic movement on Tumblr is here to stay, and it will continue to inspire and influence for years to come.

[demo-ness]

btw i beat Another Crab's Treasure tonight*, and got the few remaining achievements i was missing (mostly just buying shells and activating Gun(TM), but apparently i had missed an optional boss in the grove too)

it's extremely good. it's a game about growing up in a world where nothing is fair, and the desperate struggle and rage that builds from that. maybe you can't fix the big stuff, but it's still worth helping where you can, rather than closing yourself off from the world. sometimes things don't work out, and people get hurt, but even at your most hopeless you need to keep pushing.

that's contrasted by the tone, which is usually tongue-in-cheek and/or straight up goofy, even in easy to miss background details. (some personal favorites: the CND Pharmacy receipt walkways with the subheading "CNDeez nuts gottem", the Gain dish soap parody called Loss with the decorative leaf graphics on it forming loss.jpg, and how Elden Bay seasoning has 62% daily value for sodium for only 1/4 tsp servings)

it's also arguably the best entry-level soulslike out there. i've only played 2 others, but ACT was far easier, and that was at the default hard difficulty. i didn't really mess with them outside of the gun achievement, but there's an entire section in the settings menu dedicated to fine tuning the difficulty down into whatever you need. or, again, you can take a gun that 1-shots everything, including the final boss' phases. it's funny EVERY time and the feature should be in more games.

also, Kril is just damn cute, and you can put an LGBT+ flag on him. 11/10 game.

[blueberreads]

Books good: all my 5 star reads of 2023

I didn’t realize before starting Jade Shards how much I missed The Green Bone Saga’s characters! It was such a treat getting more of their background. A reread of the whole series is imminent!

TJ Powar Has Something to Prove was so addictive I listened to the audiobook in one sitting. It was the perfect funny, light-hearted contemporary read.

I expected to like Tiger, Tiger, but not to completely fall in love with it! I had to immediately catch up with the webcomic after I finished book one. These characters are everything to my pirate rotten brain.

Ten Thousand Stitches was just as sweet and charming as Half a Soul, the first book in the series. Olivia Atwater is simply becoming one of my favorite authors.

Obviously, after reading it for the third time, The Unspoken Name remained the best book to be ever written. I’m forever grateful for this book’s world-building, simultaneously dark and hilarious story telling and the best queer found family of idiots.

The Sword of Kaigen was a surprise new favorite, with its amazing characters, complex family dynamics and stunning fighting scenes.

Imogen, Obviously was another cute and funny contemporary. A clueless, idiot teenager who thinks she isn’t even allowed to be queer? Not something that speaks to me though. Nope.

I rarely rate non fiction books, but I had to give all the stars to All Boys Aren’t Blue. It was a super emotional and interesting read.

Hey, it’s Olivia Atwater again! A gender fluid fallen angel tempting humans and stealing chocolate was all it took to make Small Miracles the sweetest romance.

Far From the Tree was another addictive audiobook I finished in one sitting. I enjoyed the complex family dynamics and totally get the comparisons with the This is Us tv show.

Ellen Outside the Lines was a delightful middle-grade story, about an autistic kid making friends and trying out new pronouns. I also had a great time mentally revisiting Barcelona—where I briefly lived—along with the MC!

After the second season of the tv series starring my emotional support angels, I had to reread Good Omens! This book has been one of my favorites for fifteen years and it’s still as funny and feel good as the first time I read it.

Moonstruck was such a stunning, sweet and funny graphic novel about mythical creatures navigating life—and at some point a magician trying to steal their powers.

In Other Lands was another addictive read. I loved the characters and magic school setting.

[xokohaneazusawa]

Matchup Exchange - Blue Lock l @vmlnrz l

I think you'd go well with...

Bachira Meguru!

-> He would never judge you, no matter what! He knows what it's like to be in the situation about being considered weird and would never wanna do that to somebody else, especially not somebody he cares very much about! -> Loves learning about your obsessions and would love when your able to talk about them, no matter how weird other people say they might be. He'd even love to do research about them and have a bunch of conversations about it! -> Might tease you here and there for wearing pajamas when you leave the house, but at the end of the day who is he to judge? I mean your comfortable and it's not like you care about what other people think either. Though as much as he teases you about it some days he would be the kind to get matching pajamas and match with you some days. -> It's one of his favorite things when he's not busy and he's able to go out and feed the cats with you, seeing the way that you smile at them as the cats come up to you to get fed, also brings a smile to his face! -> He likes his fair share of physical contact, but knowing that you don't is completely fine with him. Just don't be surprised if here and there he asks you for a hug or something along those lines when he's feeling really down, or just on a bad day. -> Thinks your piercings are some of the coolest things in the whole world! he'll be asking about them all the time, like when you got them, how bad did they hurt, how long you've had them, if their healed and he can touch them, and sometimes just the most random questions about them and the earrings as well. He might even get a matching one during one of his off-season so it can heal before he gets back into soccer/football season. -> Since he knows that dogs are a big no-no to you, anytime you go out and see one he'll make sure to stand on the side closest to the dog so you don't have to worry about it, and if one ever comes up to the two of you while feeding the cats he'll make sure to lead it away from the area that you're in -> Dates outside are a rare thing for the two of you, just because he knows that you like staying inside and he's fine wherever you wanna go. Though when you two do go outside for dates then he'll always find some low-key place to go, maybe like a movie theater, or some nice cafe down the street. Maybe even the mall or a place where he knows they sell merch of whatever you are currently interested in! -> Because of your athletic background with being a setter he will ask you to pass around a ball with him, and even if you're not the best he'll teach you to the best of his abilities, and within a couple weeks he'll try to challenge you to 1 on 1 matches which he normally wins (but every once in a while he'll let you win, even if he never tells you that) -> When he finds out that your not as innocent as you seem, he will mess with you about it. He's a teenage boy, he knows his fair share of dirty jokes and will tell them to you to see if he can guess a range about how much you actually know, though, luckily, he'll never be too graphic with it.

Other potential matchups - Shidou Ryusei and Oilver Aiku

[wipbigbang]

Round 2 Of Artists Claims For The Regular WIPBB Are Open! Round 2 lasts until July 31st! You may claim 3 fics this round!

These are some of the fics open for claiming...

Naruto #078 Title: My Father's Temper Pairing/Characters: Sakura/Shikamaru, Madara/Tobirama Rating: Explicit | E Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence Stillborn child, swapping babies without consent, death of an OC child, teenagers kissing Summary: Just before Sakura turned twelve, something happened that changed her life. However, she didn’t know just how much yet. And she certainly didn’t know that in time she would help change the future for the whole world. Because, finding that she had the Sharingan was not nearly as bad as figuring out just who her father was.

#079 Title: A season for change - Iruka's experience Pairing/Characters: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Namikaze Minato & Uzumaki Kushina & Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto, Rookie Nine & Umino Iruka. Also has other characters in minor roles Rating: General | G Warnings/Tags: No Warnings apply No warnings but this is a royalty AU so someone doesn't have to be a Naruto fan to draw this... Summary: To his surprise, Iruka becomes the tutor for the Uzumaki royal family and a number of other students. Life is great! He has a great job, eager students, a lovely place to live, and all the palace staff are so friendly and welcoming! And it doesn’t hurt that a certain royal guard has caught his eye. But when it turns out Kakashi isn’t who he says he was, what’s Iruka to do about that?

#080 Title: Of Monsters and Family Pairing/Characters: slow burn Hoshigaki Kisame/Momochi Zabuza, Background Terumii Mei/Hoozuki Mangetsu, focus on Found Family Kisame & Juugo & Karin & Kimimaro Rating: Mature | M Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence Alternate Universe: Canon Divergence! All the Naruto staples: child soldiers, trained killers, blood and violence etc. Kiri/Mist focused so also: That Graduation (murder) Exam, politics, mind control, wanton cruelty, and broken, fucked up (young) adults trying to "mentor" fucked up, traumatized kids. Orochimaru is his especially creepy early canon self. Summary: AO3 starter Summary: What makes someone a monster? Is it appearance, urges, or reputation that earn the labeling of others? Or is it the actions and choices one makes?

And can a monster ever become something else? Can new choices ever wash away the stain of blood?

Meeting a young boy with a monstrous visage in the middle of a destroyed village sets Kisame on the path to looking for the answers to those questions. And more.

Maybe the outcast men and woman that Bloody Mist tried to shape into monsters and demons can band together and raise a new, better Kiri out of out of the bloody ocean of its past.

Nitty-gritty spoilerific summary: Kisame falls ass backwards into a found family with first Juugo, then Karin and Kimimaro, and finally a relationship with Zabuza. He ends up joining the revolution Mei is heading, but things don't go to plan and he gets dragged into politics while officially a missing-nin (but preparing for a second go at taking over Kiri). The politics feature Orochimaru and Konoha. Also Juugo is a sweetheart, Karin is a tiny menace, and Kimimaro is handling his trauma slightly better than in canon. (and Haku is in the background being an unrepentant meddling matchmaker)

#081 Title: Out of the Mist, Into the Forest Pairing/Characters: Hoshigaki Kisame/Morino Ibiki Rating: Explicit | E Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence, Non-con/Rape Alternate Universe: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics (non-traditional), explicit sex, attempted rape, attempted brainwashing/conditioning, mating/in heat, mpreg (technically?), everybody has both sets of genitals/reproductive organs in this fic, enemies to lovers, no rape/non-con between listed pairing, full consent, kink negotiation Summary: AO3 summary: In the middle of a mission in Fire Country, Kisame not only discovers he's an omega, but that he's going into heat. Worse, the enemy alpha smells so good. This leads to some very unpleasant discoveries about Kiri, his master, and his own upbringing. It's a very bad week.

After receiving a very disturbing note from the Kiri mole feeding Konoha information, Ibiki leads a capture mission only to end up faced with the Monster of Kiri as an omega in first heat. Worse, the enemy omega smells irresistible triggering his rut, and things only get more complicated from there. It's a very bad week.

Finally getting to indulge in their now desperate heat-rut-fuelled desire at the end of the bad week makes everything worth it, right?

(Eventual happy ending)

Quick and dirty (pun intended) spoilery Summary: Kisame is an omega, goes into heat on a mission where he's opposed by Ibiki's squad. Ibiki is an alpha and the attraction between them is instant and intense. But they're enemies so they fight anyway and all but them and one member of their squads (Miru) is killed in the fight. Ibiki is captured and there is sexual tension on the trip back to Kiri. Kisame is having doubts because he just found out Suikazan is a traitor.

Suikazan is also a VERY BAD MAN who's been planning on forcing Kisame to become what amounts to breeding stock. Kisame resists, and kills him, and then things go from bad to worse because somebody else is controlling the Mizukage. Short version: Kisame and Miru decide to defect to Konoha and flee Kiri with Ibiki. Much sex is had on the way.

But at Konoha, Danzou is a scheming bastard and needs to be dealt with. But spoiler: he is indeed dealt with. Epilogue is years later with Kisame happily integrated into Konoha and a Most People Live ending.

#082 Title: An Echo of Things to Come Pairing/Characters: Sakura/Itachi Rating: Explicit | E Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence, Chooses not to use Warnings, Temporary Character Death, sort of underage except they are 28 and 33, Summary: Sasuke dies, and that is unacceptable to Itachi. He falls back on a plan that he never thought he would need to try, but in his grief he fails to notice that someone is following him. In her grief, Sakura does not stop to think, she just acts. And that has far-reaching consequences. Far into the past.

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[smartcookieeatingherself]

2 things I don't get in heartstopper

First, I absolutely love the graphic novels and the show, the vibe, the community around it, and I think Alice is a very talented storyteller who obviously creates stories that make many queer and supportive people feel seen across generations. But there are two things I am missing in the plot to make the storyline cohesive.

First of all, Tara and Darcy's background story. I know there was a minicomic showing how they got locked in the practice room and ended up kissing, and as far as I remember, it described Tara disliking Dary for her loud, quircky, annoying personality (haven't read this in a while so my memory might as well be inaccurate) and suggesting a sort of enemies to lovers trope. They got into this game where one of them wanted to return a pen to the other and ended up fooling around with it, wanting to draw on each other, and then they kissed. To me, that was just way to little information to explain how they got into their relationship. While the graphic novel is a lot more focused on Nick and Charlie, I think the series could have given the space for them to properly narrate a relationship between the two that actually makes sense.

Secondly (and this only really applies to the show), dramaturgically it doesn't make sense to me how after Nick walks away from the rugby field on sportsday, taking charlies hand to tell him he doesn't want to break up and them kissing in the corridor the series doesn't show people gossiping about them. The world that the series models for them, where even though they are physically close with each other in school (not in a romantically affectionate way, but still), and they still largely come out on their own terms (of course the hickey made it more complicated and probably pushed Nick to come out during Taras birthday party), is just not realistic in my opinion. Alice, Kit and Joe have mentioned in many interviews that the series aims to portrait real life struggles and difficult topics through an optimistic lense which I do think overall is a very much needed approach. However, in the coming-out plotline which is a big theme of the second season, to me this idea is played out a bit too unrealistic.

So this turned out way longer than I aimed. Thanks for reading, I would love to discuss these points with you!