#the authenticity people want goes away

[impossible-rat-babies]

idk character talking into the void

I’m like. puzzling eshka and romance in my head. what does that look like for her. how does this all fit in her head

[antivanwine14]

There is another aspect to the Rookanis romance that I think is really interesting and that is authenticity, especially from Lucanis. Lucanis is not a flirt. He isn’t good at it and he isn’t comfortable with it. The early Rookanis relationship is two people learning to care about each other. There is almost no ‘flirting’ but there is a lot of focus on caring. However, then comes the pantry scene.

Lucanis comes out of nowhere and is suddenly Mr Flirty, sensual and seductive. The scene goes badly, however, and it ends because Lucanis suddenly pulls away and leaves. It left Rook understandably confused and a little hurt. That pantry scene was Lucanis trying to be something he wasn’t. This is a man who has read romances and has watched his cousin operate. He is a people pleased who knows what people want and is trying to be that person. Then Rook touches him and it falls apart (what exactly that touch did is up for interpretation and could be a whole different post). As much as he genuinely cares about Rook at this point, (and I do think he has feelings for Rook by this point) he isn’t comfortable. He has a lot of things going on and there are a lot of things telling him not too. He isn’t ready to take the next steps and he can’t pretend like he is.

However, this is what makes the pastry scene actually really good. This comes after Inner Demons, where he is raw and real and unable to hide anything. However Rook sees this and still supports and cares for him and helps get him on a path towards healing. It doesn’t frightened them away and so Lucanis tries again. However, instead of being his cousin or a character from a romance, he is just Lucanis. He bakes them a pastry he knows will go well with their favorite drink. He doesn’t try for sensual and hot. He is earnest and a little awkward and Rook accepts this. This is the real Lucanis and by accepting the pastry declaration, they are accepting the real Lucanis, not the suave Antivan crow, but the man who likes knitting, wyverns, and cooking.

Lucanis never goes back to that flirty persona, even during and after the romantic scene. His feelings are very clear and he is passionate about how much he cares for Rook, but it is real Lucanis (he does flirt a little bit but never gets to the point of the pantry scene). He does not try to be someone he is not and Rook accepts the person Lucanis is. It is one of the many reasons I adore this romance.

[astuteology]

Some more astrology notes/observations🍀🦫

🪐Aries placements are more observant than Scorpio placements. Here's why- they are the babies of the zodiacs, and as a baby, they observe everyone and everything around them. Learning things on their own. Knows who has bad aura or energy.

🪐Planets in the 5th house makes you more appealing to others than planets in the 1st house.

🪐Capricorns placements are hard to anger but once angered, their rage is worse than an aquarius or a cancer.

🪐Underdeveloped cancers fit the stereotype of gemini having 2 faces than gemini itself.

🪐Mercury in the 1st house individuals are turned off "badly" by people who talk shit and speak with half knowledge.

🪐1st house moon has this brightness on their face that makes others stop and stare. I'm sure they've had this question "do I have something in my face?". Actually you do, it's your magnetism.

🪐Underdeveloped Scorpio rising are all talk and no action. They're gonna be like "oh I'm gonna show them why they shouldn't have done that!". And then they run away, avoiding confrontation.

🪐As much as an aries like direct, clear and open communication, they themselves act passive-aggressive sometimes.

🪐Speaking of aries, their love for freedom is above everything. They want love that frees them. Same goes for aquarius.

🪐Virgo's perfectionism can make them loyal and dedicated partners.

🪐Cancer sun + leo moon, when in an argument with their love, they became dramatic and attention seeking, needing reassurance.

🪐Aquarius sun + Scorpio moon makes the individual fear intimacy and emotional vulnerability. Aqua's reluctance to open up and scorpio's intense emotional needs. This create a push and pull dynamic.

🪐Taurus venus + Sagittarius mars makes an individual have conflicting desires. Commitment vs exploration. Stability vs adventure. Emotional intensity vs intellectual connection.

🪐Scorpio placements are often lost in their thoughts even more than gemini or pisces placements. They often feel like outsiders, observing life from afar.

🪐Leo placements are passionate. Like VERY passionate. They do be having a tendency to burn the bridges, quick and fast.

🪐Capricorns often possess a witty, understated sense of humor.

🪐Speaking of Capricorn, they are sooooooooo slow to trust. Even more than a Scorpio.

🪐Aries moon is as sensitive as cancer and pisces moon. They feel so deeply.

🪐Aries placements competitiveness can lead to sabotage and self destruction.

🪐Cancers strive for perfection more than a virgo. But this can lead to anxiety and burnout.

🪐Taurus placements can love you and never let you know. Ever.

🪐I've seen virgo placements being obsessive in relationships more than Scorpio placements. (Tell me why, please.)

🪐Sagittarius placements are often restlessness. They are looking for something that they don't even know.

🪐Mars square uranus- self destructive tendencies.

🪐Aries venus in the 12th house: hidden vulnerability- fear of loss. Fear of losing themselves or their lover.

🪐Mercury square neptune- inner turmoil and emotional depth.

🪐Moon square Saturn: inner critic. Perfectionism.

🪐Gemini in the 12th- easily distracted. Easily scattered. A small memory can scatter them.

🪐Cancer moon in the 12th: fear of abandonment. Fear of emotional rejection. Difficulty in trusting others.

🪐Sun square Jupiter- confidence or arrogance?

🪐Sun conjunct saturn- fear of not shining. Fear of not meeting the expectations. Self doubt.

🪐Mercury conjunct pluto- obsessive tendencies.

🪐Mercury square chiron- self doubt that feels like it goes on forever. Self criticism.

🪐Venus square Saturn- harmony or authenticity?

🪐Libra venus in the 12th- fear of opening up. Fear of being judged. Fear of angering your partner.

🪐Pluto square moon- terrified of superficial people tbh. They are very very very scared of opening up.

🪐Pluto trine neptune: rebirth. Transformation. Regeneration. Renewal.

🪐Jupiter square uranus: restlessness for something. Something that needs a change.

🪐Jupiter conjunct mars- fear if the unknown. (Strange? I know.)

🪐Saturn square moon- weight of responsibilities. Their head are usually heavy. (I'll fight with god to take half of your responsibilities.)

🪐Uranus square venus: detachment. Fear of intimacy. May even lose interest in love.

🪐Neptune square moon- reality or illusion? Is it real or is it fake? Am I being guided or am I being lied to?

🪐Scorpio in the 8th house is same as the Scorpio sun, moon or venus.

🪐Aquarius moon experience emotions in different ways, often needing space to process.

🪐Aquarius ascendant- unpredictable first impression.

[muqingslover]

Hello!! I absolutely love your take on the lads men as fathers, they make so much sense of their character!! That being said, I wanted to ask what pets you think they would own, if any?

I love your writing style!! I hope you have a good day!!!

[ this is such a cute request!! Thank you and I really hope you like it! ]

He's snow-white fr fr

Xavier has such a tranquil energy around him that whenever he falls asleep outside you just find him covered in little birds, a random stray cat on his lap and a butterfly on his nose.

But he'd have no pets of his own because he just doesn't have the energy to give the care they deserve and the lifespan of most living creatures is too short compared to his own.

Oh not to mention if he had a pet you would probably be aaaall over it and he wants NONE of that.

He's the type that can't keep even a cactus alive because he's asleep the whole time he's not with you or working. (the official schedule post showed he sleeps way more than I thought it's crazy)

Oh this sweet, sweet man.

He loves animals but animals do not share the feeling LMAO

He had a tortoise when he was little and we all know his passion for cats so he does like the idea of having a pet.

Because of his schedule as a surgeon I can see him having something that agrees with his busy lifestyle like those pretty fish tanks.

Not to mention the fish can't reject this poor guy and are as quiet as he is.

The plants he keeps in his house/office are like his children too and watering them is part of daily routine.

He has Mephisto of course (and the twins jk) but I firmly believe he's one of the people who are blessed by the cat's universal system.

Here and there he'd randomly save or feed a stray and the cat would stick to him like glue.

They begin "multiplying" and eventually he has six different cats coming in and out of his house.

They're not really his but he lets them be as long as you're not allergic to them.

Mephisto is fighting for his life and staying in very high places so he's not torn to pieces.

The twins have multiple photos of Sylus asleep with the kitties and they send one to you every week.

He's like the dad that says "I don't like cats" and then he shows up with three different types of deluxe food.

Man's a whole fish he IS the pet.

All jokes aside, he seems the type to have a pretty bird like cockatiel or a white dove that has as much of an attitude as he does.

He definitely paints the bird and is extra enough to use the loose feathers for details to add authenticity to the piece.

100% will argue with it like the bird understands him.

"She likes you more than me! The one who raised her!" *cuts to the bird turning it's head away from him and nuzzling on the top of your head*

Strolling buddies. Every time Rafayel goes out for inspiration or just to clear his head the bird will follow him and he likes the company more than he'd ever admit.

If he could this guy would own BIG dogs no argument.

And yes plural because he'd have at least two.

The dogs are all very well trained and absolutely adore you. Much like the owner.

He will often send you videos of them in goofy costumes he bought and he's just laughing his head off in the background.

I also feel like he used to collect bugs when he was just a brat.

He'd terrorize you and Zayne by running after you two with those big ass beetles like

"It's just a little guy! Look! :D" "*screams of horror"

[cherryobx]

Tomorrow

request: here

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

summary: your best friend Rafe picks you up from a party and takes you home

warnings: drunk shenanigans, mentions of alcohol, one sexual innuendo, Rafe being a gentleman (lmk if i missed anything), not proofread

wc: 1.9k

“Where is she?” Rafe grabs the arm of one of your friends and stops her in her tracks. He got many drunk texts from you in the past couple of hours which seemed to become more and more intelligible as time went on so he made the decision to pick you up before you did something you would regret in the morning.

He knew how anxious you were to come to this party but since it was your best friend’s birthday, you couldn’t exactly opt out. He had offered to accompany you but you insisted you’d be fine even though he knew you didn’t do very well in big crowds and were more comfortable with smaller groups of people or with him. Your best friend.

The house is almost shaking because of how loud the music is and he can barely hear himself think. There are so many people and he can’t spot you anywhere.

“In the kitchen, I think,” your friend answers before she’s pulled away by a group of girls who are excited about the song blasting through the speakers, claiming it’s their song.

Rafe pushes himself through the open space where people are dancing and goes in the direction he thinks the kitchen is in. When he finally makes it to the kitchen, you’re nowhere in sight. He frowns. Where the hell are you?

Then he spots you through the kitchen window in the backyard. You’re sitting in the hot tub with all your clothes still on. There’s a drink in your hand and you’re laughing at something someone said next to you.

Rafe takes a moment to take you in. It’s almost weird seeing you like this. You’re shy by nature and chatting with strangers is something you never do, so he’s almost starstruck by how stress-free you seem to be while conversing with the people sitting in the tub with you. 

He likes how you’re a more confident version of yourself when you’re drunk but he likes shy you way more because it’s just so authentically you. He likes when you hide behind him in social settings, using him as a shield. He likes when you make him order your food because you’re nervous to do it yourself. He likes how you’re quiet in front of people but start chatting his ear off once you two are alone. He likes how observant you are, always surprising him with stuff he himself didn’t even notice. He just likes you.

“Rafe!” you happily cheer as he walks through the patio door and towards the hot tub where you’re sitting.

He smiles ear to ear at your excitement. “Hi!” He greets you as you place your drink on the edge of the hot tub and wobbly stand up, exiting the water.

He grabs your arm gently, not wanting you to fall over as you climb out. Water drips from your clothes and he feels it hit his shoes and soak through the sneakers he’s wearing. But he doesn’t mind.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, looking up at him as you cling to him in an attempt to stay upright.

“I’m taking you home,” he states.

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Why?”

“Because you’re drunk.” He brushes a wet strand of hair out of your face and behind your ear. You subconsciously lean into his touch.

“So? I’m having fun.” You grab your drink and attempt to take a swig of the liquid in your cup but Rafe snatches it from your hands.

“You’re going to regret it in the morning.”

“I’m an adult I can make my own decisions,” you contended, placing your hands on your hips. Rafe can see how you’re trying your hardest to maintain your balance but the slight back and forth rocking gives you away. You’re really drunk.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

“I wanna stay.”

He says your name in a warning tone which leaves no room for argument. 

“Fine.” You roll your eyes. “But I’m choosing the playlist.”

“Deal.” He victoriously places his hand over your shoulders and leads you out of the house.

“Wait!” You halt. “Where’s my phone?” Patting over yourself, you feel it in the back pocket of your jeans. 

Realisation dawns on you. “Fuck.” It was there when you were in the tub.

You pull it out of the pocket and examine it. Attempts to turn it on are unsuccessful and you’re frustrated. “It’s not working.”

Rafe grabs it from your hands and puts it in his own pocket before you start freaking out over it. He doesn’t need a drunk meltdown right now. “It’s okay. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“It’s not up for discussion.” He says matter-of-factly as he starts leading you around the house and to his car which is parked on the street due to the driveway being full.

He buckles you into the passenger seat before he walks around the car and sits in the driver seat, turning on the ignition.

Rafe hands you his own phone which is already connected to the bluetooth in his car. “Put on that playlist you wanted.” He pulls onto the road and starts driving towards your place.

You happily take his phone and pull up your own account on Spotify and press play on one of your playlists which you love.

The whole ride you dance in your seat and sing along to the songs loudly, occasionally leaning over to sing in his ear and annoy him which he only laughs at.

“Let’s get you to bed, princess.” He opens the door for you and offers you his hand to help you out of the car.

“I don’t wanna go to bed. I wanna dance!” you jump around and he smiles at the sight. You’re so care-free.

“You need to go to sleep.”

“You need to go to sleep.”

He rolls his eyes. “Very mature.”

“Thank you.”

He chuckles at that and places his hand on your lower back, guiding you towards your house.

“Where are your keys?” he asks once you reach the front door. Your parents are sleeping and all the lights are off in the house.

“In my pocket.”

“Take them out then?”

“You take them out.”

“Stop being difficult.” He shakes his head as he sighs.

“I dare you to take them out of my pocket.”

“For Christ’s sake,” he says as he pinches the bridge of his nose before he gives into your antics and reaches into the front pocket of your jeans, pulling out the set of keys and finding the one which unlocks the front door. “What do I get for doing your dare?”

He opens the door and ushers you inside, locking it behind him.

“What do you want?” 

“I want you to go to bed.” He leads you towards your room and even opens the door for you, letting you enter first.

“Boring.” You boo him and give him a thumbs down which makes him chuckle.

“Put something dry on before you jump into bed, please,” he demands, making you groan. 

“These are just fine.”

“You’re literally soaking wet.” He regrets his choice of words immediately when he sees the smirk forming on your face. “I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“Do I, Rafe? Do I?”

“Put something dry on. Now.”

“Yes, boss.” You straighten your back and raise your hand to your temple in a mock-salute. He just shakes his head.

You find your pyjamas and he turns around as you change out of your wet clothes. 

“No peeking,” you warn him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“You totally would.”

He laughs and shakes his head. You’re impossible.

When you’ve changed your clothes, you sit against the headboard and shove your legs under the warm covers. Rafe sits on the edge of the bed beside you.

“How are you feeling?” There’s a hint of worry in his tone as he looks you over.

“Fantastic.” Your smile is wide.

“Of course you are.”

A moment of silence passes between you two before he notices you’re fidgeting with the rings on your fingers, indicating you’re nervous. He has picked up on your nervous habits over the years and this is one of them.

“You okay?” He places his hand gently on your thigh. Even with the covers separating your skin you feel your cheeks heat up at the contact.

“Will you stay?”

“Stay?”

“With me? Will you spend the night?”

He tilts his head, a soft look in his eyes. He doesn’t even have to think about his answer because he could never say ‘no’ to a request like that, especially coming from you. “Of course.”

He crawls under the covers with you and you curl up against him. Your faces are close and you’re breathing each other’s air. His arms are wrapped around you and he holds you as close to him as possible, warming you up with his body heat.

You bring your hand to his face and touch his face with the tips of your fingers, skimming over his eyebrows, nose, cheeks and then lips.

“What are you doing?” he asks out of curiosity.

The alcohol has given you courage you would never have sober. You’ve been hiding your feelings for him for so long and in this state it feels almost impossible to keep them to yourself any longer.

You lean in. Before your lips can touch his, he pulls back slightly. Looking at you with almost concern in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asks again.

“I wanna kiss you.” You admit, eyes drifting from his lips to his eyes and then back to his lips. God, he’s gorgeous.

“You’re drunk.”

“So?”

He scoffs. “So? You’re not in the right condition for this.”

“I’m exactly in the right condition for this,” you argue, fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on his chest.

“No, you’re not.”

“Why don’t you wanna kiss me?” The disappointment is evident in your eyes and it breaks his heart. He would kiss you without thinking twice if you were sober while asking this. But you weren’t.

“Believe me, I want to kiss you more than anything but I’m not gonna take advantage of you in this state.”

“You wouldn’t take advantage of me. I know what I’m doing.”

“I know, sweetheart, but I’m not doing it when you’re drunk.”

“Please?” You make puppy-eyes at him and as much as he wants to kiss you dumb right then and there, he stands his ground. He’s wanted this for a long time but he’s a gentleman with morals after all.

“I’m sorry, no.”

He pulls you closer against his chest and you hide your face in the crook of his neck, your shyness returning. “I’m sorry,” you mutter.

“What are you apologising for?”

“For coming onto you like that. We’re best friends. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Hey.” He grabs your chin and makes you look him in the eye. “You’ll always be my best friend, even if whatever it is between us evolves into something else. But this is not the right time to have this conversation. Let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

You give him a small smile as you agree. “Okay.”

“Good. Now, off to sleep you go.”

“Asshole.”

“You love me.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head as you drift off to sleep between his arms, feeling safe and secure.

part 2

[coolshadowtwins]

PIDW!YQY goes back in time to his disciple days after he dies. He’s alone and upset, and determined to do things right this time. He won’t take a sword too early, but he will still rush to go save SJ because that has to fix something, right?

At least this time he already knows how to read and write, and the basics of cultivating. Everyone is heralding him as a prodigy, and as soon as his child body is ready, he’s taking a sword to go save SJ.

Except there is one other thing he needs to do. He can leave most of his future sect siblings alone to do their thing, and catch up with them later. There’s no point in interfering with something that doesn’t need his help. But! That slimy traitor Shang Qinghua!

He caused so many problems for them. YQY did not want him as a head disciple of An Ding, or as the peak lord, so he goes to do something about it.

Only… Did SQH always act like that? Was he always so nervous? YQY watched him almost cry as an older disciple shoved work onto him, instead of glaring and backstabbing them later. What had happened to him over the years?

What is actually happening is that YQY had known OG!SQH and this is Airplane. Completely different people! But YQY doesn’t know that, and can only assume that SQH betrayed the sect after years and years of hardship! And YQY is selfish, and very SJ focused, but even he isn’t so much of a hypocrite as to condemn SQH for something he wouldn’t condemn SJ for.

So he goes and befriends him. Mostly to keep an eye on him, and to stop him from being a traitor, but still. Meanwhile, SQH is shocked and confused why the future sect leader is even talking to him?? And what to be his friend?? He didn’t really have much of those, and maybe he liked the company, but he knew what was to happen! What was the point in getting close to YQY only to watch him suffer?

Wow, screw that. SQH pulls some strings and goes up to YQY one day and says, “Wow! Look! A mission, for us, two young disciples without swords, days away! Won’t this be fun?!”

YQY stared at the mission sheet, which looks entirely authentic, blankly. It takes them right to the town that he had left SJ in. “Where did you get this?”

“My Shizun.”

“….”

“….your Shizun?”

“…”

“Uhg, find. I might have forged it. For a vacation? It’ll be fun.”

It was not fun. But they got SJ back and ran for it and made it back to the sect in good time. Their shizun’s were upset, but they couldn’t find a way that the mission could have been forged because it was that good. YQY was suddenly glad to have SQH on his side, and is now completely convinced that he had seer powers.

Maybe that was why he joined the demons last time? Years of abuse at the sect, and knowledge that demons would win? YQY hates it, but is only more determined to keep SQH as a friend. He starts laying hints that if SQH ever meets a demon, that YQY would like to know about it! He’ll be less made if he was told, as opposed to finding out later, promise!

SJ, for his part, can tell what YQY is doing to a point. He’s just glad that YQY has actually started manipulating people to his advantage. His Qi-Ge is really growning up.

Don’t ask me what happens what SQH does come up to YQY to tell him about MBJ. I haven’t thought that far lol

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Ch. 108: Fear

Don't get me wrong, that panel with Twilight remembering his friends was beautiful. I think he feels nostalgic for that connection with other people. However, I think what really caught my attention in this chapter was Melinda.

Come on, look at this:

Look at this face of terror. And she was just remembering her husband's eyes!

A long time ago, when we just met Melinda, I wrote this theory about her being afraid of her husband. Today, it was finally confirmed.

I feel so sad for her. Melinda has probably been carrying this alone for a long time. I doubt she's shared her fears with any friends or family members because, who would believe the illustrious political leader could be an abusive man? This is especially true if there's no actual physical violence in the relationship. However, like I said before, violence is more than that.

Something tells me that the violence in their relationship is mostly psychological. Donovan Desmond uses his authority to tell Melinda what to do, to create fear, to keep her away from their children.

Melinda appears as such a composed woman who has her life together in front of others, and only someone as emotionally perceptive and caring as Yor would notice something is wrong. There's a shame component in abusive relationships: "How did this happen to me? I used to be so strong and brave," combined with disbelief: "Am I overreacting? Is he really that bad? Why am I afraid of him if he hasn't really done anything to me?"

Hopefully, in time, Melinda will realize that fear is not only her responsibility; even if her husband wasn't physically abusive, his behavior caused her fear.

Without a doubt is a complicated issue, which brings me to something that will probably complicate things even more:

Yup, Twilight.

I'll admit that this is the first time that I felt very uncomfortable with what Twilight is about to do, but that's exactly the point. Good fiction/literature is suppose to move something within us, even if at times, it makes us feel uncomfortable.

You probably imagine why: Melinda is a person in dire need of therapy. She deserves (and needs!) a true professional and instead, she getting someone who is only trying to gather information.

HOWEVER...

Time and again, Twilight has shown that despite his line of work, he'll always try to do the right thing and the least amount of harm. So, I'm hoping he will apply that in this specific situation. My guess is that it will start as a way to get information (his classic "for the mission") but then, as Melinda opens up, he will actually give her good advice and hopefully empower her, as a real therapist would do!

Something else to keep in mind is that Melinda story of domestic violence could trigger Twilight himself in some way, given his own family history. We will have to wait to see how that goes.

Bonus

A final note on Melinda's beliefs in occultism: it makes sense.

I won't comment too much on the specific meaning of the cards because my knowledge is limited and I'm skeptical about that. But I will say that it makes sense that someone with so much fear and uncertainty in her life would believe in something that would bring her reassurance that everything will be okay or try to know the future in order to protect herself. (I really want to give Melinda a hug.)

On the other hand, you know who doesn't believe in that?:

Yup, our dear Becky, who is one of the most authentic character in sxf, who is protected and loved by her parents and Martha. That makes sense too.

[lonelypinecove]

Unethical fur farms, Yarn tails and Faux fur

It's a little alarming that people may not know about cruelty fur farms and unethical fur tails, so I'll put my little guide on how I usually spot them. I'll also have a little section comparing faux fur, yarn tails and real tails.

How to spot Unethically sourced fur

Everything I know is by my experience, as well as research I have done via youtube videos. Thorn from Therian Territiory has an excellent video talking about the subject, (Click Here) But I will summerise below if you want to get straight to the point.

A key feature I find when it comes to unethical tails is this goddamn golden keychain

I have 4 tails with this keychain and all of them are of varying quality - however I don't doubt they are from unethical fur farms.

Another key detail is The tail is thin, the fur brittle and the leather has not been scraped correctly, meaning there is fat from the animal it once came from. Have you ever bought a tail, looking at the leather within and there has been yellow patches? That is animal fat that should have been scraped away.

I avoid buying from Chinese or Korean sellers as that is usually where unethical fur comes from, there are very little rights to animals within these countries, so there is no guarantee the animal had a good life before being killed. As stated earlier, Thorn goes into detail on this subject, although I must warn you the contents He speaks about are quite upsetting.

I would also avoid buying from Amazon, temu, wish, shein and Ebay, as the tails bought from these sites are usually of questionable Quality.

So, where can I buy ethical fur from...?

I highly recommend Etsy, Always check the reviews from sellers - check how thin the tail is and check for that pesky key chain. As a personal caution, beware of cheap tails as there is a good chance they are drop shipped from unethical fur farms, I'd bought a cheap tail from a sale here in Australia (With the golden keychain) and the tail was sadly not great Quality...So always check for that keychain. I hear people can buy tails from Renfaires, oddity and taxidermy markets.

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Authentic fur vs Yarn tails vs Faux Fur

I've seen there's quite a debate on which is the best to buy and best for the enviroment. I'm sure all of you have your reasons for swinging this way or that way, so I'll just list some pros and cons

Authentic Tails

Pros

Good for the environment as it is bio-degradable

Beautiful to look at

you will never find 2 identical tails

If well looked after, can last you a lifetime

supporting small buisness

Cons

Expensive

From a real animal

Yarn Tails

Pros

Fun craft

heavily customizable

cheap to make

Cons

Time consuming to make

Getting the supplies can be a pain

not completely biodegradable (Yarn has plastic)

Faux Fur

Pros

An animal didn't have to die for it

Durable if made right

Cons

not bio-degradable (Faux fur has plastic)

faux fur is expensive

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If you have questions feel free to send them to my ask box, I'll do my best to answer them as best I can - I'm not an expert or a professional in this field, just someone with a bit of knowledge.

I hope this helped keep you all informed ♡ And remember, gear does not make you a Therian or Alterhuman - your non human identity does.

If you have anything to add please feel free to reblog with any additional information. I'd really appreciate it if someone who did Taxidermy were able to weigh in on this manner, as I'm just a dog who loves to collect tails :3

[deepmochi]

Lilith in the 5th house ❤️‍🔥

What to learn: to trust your gut, being more authentic, and appreciate your gifts.

What to avoid: Over exposure of the ego, resentments, unnecessary drama, and using sexuality as a front.

Some celebrities: Rihanna, Keanu Reeves, Scarlet Johansson, Meghan Fox, Harry Styles.

Lilith in Leo and Lilith-sun aspects may resonate.

Check the masterlist for more

❤️‍🔥 They like drama. Don't be surprised if they seem theatrical, it's because they are theatrical.

❤️‍🔥 They need a partner that provide romantic gestures.

❤️‍🔥 Immature natives will want to be treated like a royal, but avoid the same treatment to others.

❤️‍🔥People like to bring drama in their lives. Friends or close people would search a way to provoke them. They must know who is trustworthy.

❤️‍🔥 Undeveloped Lilith in the 5th house, will have multiple affairs and are prone to cheating for the sake of "their fun".

❤️‍🔥 They are very good at acting even in real life. However, they can't lie forever.

❤️‍🔥 People are so interested in how they date and why. For the public eye their romances are entertaining.

❤️‍🔥 Underdeveloped lilith will trust their ego and fast gratification more. Example: dating someone for the benefits not for love.

❤️‍🔥 They tend to look very confident, even when they aren't.

❤️‍🔥 With the 5th house, they will try to maintain a certain image or performance for an audience.

❤️‍🔥 Women with this placement are fertile, so they must use protection.

❤️‍🔥 Men with this placement may avoid commitment during their younger years.

❤️‍🔥 These people are proud and ambitious, even if they look completely different. They don't care if they need to achieve soemthing to gain x.

❤️‍🔥 Lilith here likes the idea of freedom. They aren't easy to marry.

❤️‍🔥Women with this placement attract many men due to this inner confidence and sometimes innocent way of projection.

❤️‍🔥 These folks attracted many people since they're young. Unfortunately, they can be sexualized at very young age, both men and women.

❤️‍🔥 A very interesting style but also attractive to others. They can create trends.

❤️‍🔥 Cosmetic surgery is something they can use to enhance their natural beauty. However, they need to know when to stop. If they erase their natural beauty vibes, they will take their beauty away.

❤️‍🔥 Related to the previous aspect, you need to learn to appreciate yourself. Your vibes goes beyond your body.

❤️‍🔥 People will see them as confident and beautiful. It's probable that you have many followers in social media or people in your town know you.

❤️‍🔥 Lilith here has childhood trauma. Something happened, and it hurt them. It's possible that these natives want to protect the youth.

❤️‍🔥 They also need to reconcile with their inner child, so they avoid drugs or hedonism.

❤️‍🔥 Women with these placements are the fun sexy girls, but not everyone is ready to see them when the party is over.

❤️‍🔥 Immature liliths will not own their mistakes and responsabilities, even being childish and jealous of others.

❤️‍🔥 They can attract very possessive partners or men who want them as a prize. See how Drake wanted Rihanna!

❤️‍🔥 Men would want them for how sexy or sensual they look, but a bare minimum care for the real person behind.

❤️‍🔥 Balanced individuals are fun and spontaneous. However, immature beings can create unnecessary drama constantly. They want the attention 24/7.

❤️‍🔥 They have many flings romances, and people may gossip about it.

❤️‍🔥 They always bring this youthful energy with them. It's contagious and even addictive for others.

❤️‍🔥 Lilith here probably work since they were teenager.

❤️‍🔥 You can wear sexy clothes, feel sexy, enjoy sex, and all of that. However, don't do it for others. Do it for yourself and protect yourself.

❤️‍🔥 They keep some important object from childhood. For example: photos, teddy bears, and more.

❤️‍🔥 They will pursuit their passions; by doing it, they will feel happy and fulfilled.

❤️‍🔥 Their relationship are known by the public. However, Lilith must learn to choose what is right for her.

❤️‍🔥 They need to understand that true love isn't always regarding passion. Love needs to be consistent, healthy and healing. However, society may not approve this, since the native is "known".

❤️‍🔥 They hold inner knowledge. They must learn to listen to their intuition. Their impulses or lack of commitment presents issues.

❤️‍🔥 Just a note, maybe someone needs it. Sex shouldn't be the part that defines them. They are more than that. You can change this whenever you want. That's in your power. When society wants to degrade you, remember you're worthy of love and good intentions.

Take care, loves ❤️.

Credit: @deepmochi

[jedimaesteryoda]

While Butcher has been often accused of employing male fantasy tropes in his works, I sometimes think he has a habit of subverting them.

Thomas embodies two tropes: he has women magically drawn to him and being the only son in a billionaire family, is effectively the rich playboy who would make Dan Bilzerian jealous. He never had to work a day in his life up until he moved in with Harry, and he got to spend his time sleeping around, learning martial arts and driving fancy sports cars. His life on paper sounds like a dream come true.

However, for Thomas it's a dream come true in the sense that it's a nightmare. His magical ability is a demon that feeds on his partners. It makes it incredibly difficult for him to hold down a job, instead of filling him with pride, it fills him with self-loathing, and the cherry on top, he can't touch his true love Justine, the one woman he genuinely wants to be with. He has stated more than once that he wished he didn't have it.

Living off the family money also makes him dependent on his toxic family whom he would gladly have cut off otherwise. He never received anything in the way of love from his father, and while I think we could say he does love his siblings to a degree, we never see much in the way of warmth in his relationships with the people in his family. The only exceptions may have been his mother who left him when he was five, and his sister Inari. One thing Molly noted when soulgazing him is that he was, deep down, very much lonely. He had money and women, but he preferred his impoverished half-brother and his girlfriend, wanting real relationships over the glamour of his White Court life.

Harry is practically living a male fantasy right now as of Battleground. On paper, he's never been better. He lives in a literal castle as opposed to his old dingy apartment, has a small army of fae (pun intended), money from the haul in Skin Game and an extremely beautiful, superrich fiancé who's supernaturally good in bed. There are plenty of guys who would trade places with him right now in a heart beat. However, it's clear that he is not happy, if anything, he has never been more sad since the beginning of the series.

He has an awful boss with a job he has for life, and his fiancé is someone he can respect but never see as wife material. He lost a friend in Carlos, and his relationship with Eb is now strained. Two of some of the closest people in his life are gone. His brother Thomas has been locked away, and his lifelong friend and girlfriend Karrin is dead. Karrin was literally his true love, certified by Lara, and she was the person he trusted most, the one he trusted with his daughter and the Swords. It left a big hole in him that cannot be satisfied by castles, money or whampire wives. As the adage goes "money can't buy happiness" and neither can magic in the sense that it can't buy real relationships.

Harry was happier when he was still an impoverished PI in a dingy apartment where he had his independence and the authentic relationships with people he cared about. Harry and Thomas live the fantasy, but it's defined by a sense of emptiness. They truly desire connection and wanting to be their own men.

The male fantasy is a fantasy for a reason. It reminds me of the words of the late Summer Lady Lily: “I didn’t want the world. I didn’t want vast riches, or fame, or power. I wanted a husband. Children. Love. A home that we made together."

[a-sound-sol]

LoV x Autistic!Reader headcanons!

m. list

Shigaraki

his best skill is listening to you infodump. he'll play video games while still actively listening and responding to you because he knows that's how you show your love

times all your meltdowns and tracks the triggers too

he thinks you look cutest when you're in your comfy, tagless pajamas and will make sure that you know important it is to him that you're in a sensory friendly environment

if anyone in public starts to make fun of you for carrying your comfort item around, he will decay them without hesitation.

Dabi

he tries so hard to make sure the temperature is perfect for you. he knows how overstimulated you get when it's too hot or too cold.

won't hesitate to take hold of your hands and arms if you start to exhibit self injury behavior. he'd rather you hurt him than yourself.

lets you fidget with his piercings even though he knows it's a bad idea. if you really need it, he's got you. he's always got you.

the minute you say you're done, he's got you in his arms and you're headed home - even if it's mid battle.

he will burn any tags off your clothes - sometimes burning the clothes themselves on accident - but you don't care. you think it's sweet.

Twice

he will literally be whatever you need. he'll use his quirk to guard you if you're having a meltdown, so you're safe from all sides

he gives the best mindless cuddles when you're feeling overwhelmed but don't have the words

makes sure that you're safe all the time - sends like 30 texts a day

will always make sure that you know you can always say no to a mission or a trip. it's your choice, and if shigaraki has an issue with it, he will take the heat.

Toga

oh you are her ANGEL!!!! She soothes you whenever you're having a meltdown

she'll tell you stories to distract you and play with your hair too, scratching your scalp because you love that

keeps you safe at all costs, public or private. you are her favorite, and anyone who makes you feel unwelcome or unsafe is her number one enemy.

keeps your blood in a heart shaped vial not even to use it, but because she loves having a bit of you around.

Spinner

literally ends up hyperfixating on half of your special interests

quality time is everything to him, so he’ll sit with you while you basically do anything just to body double for you!

makes sure that you know you’re safe when your body tells you you’re not

he buys you something related to either a safe food item or a sensory friendly clothing item everytime he goes out because he wants to make sure you never feel any amount of discomfort

Compress

he checks in FREQUENTLY. You always get a text after he leaves and while he’s gone and when he’s on his way home and-

He will marble you if people start to overstimulate you, then he’ll bring you home immediately and start to make you tea!!

he’s one to tell you how beloved you are and that anyone who’s cruel to you will be disposed of immediately

You’re his world. He makes sure that you’re aware of that every single chance he gets. Endless cuddles!!!!

Kurogiri

hey, if you need out of a crowd? He’s got you for sure!!!

there’s a little shirakumo there too so he’s extra careful with you when you’re struggling (:

He wants to protect you, he feels the same draw to you as he feels with shigaraki

basically will do anything to keep you away from anything that may harm you, even yourself <3

Magne

she will also kill anyone who hurts you or vaguely looks at you wrong

always tells the rest of the league to leave you alone when she sees you overstimulated or even close to feeling uncomfortable

supports you being your most authentic and real self!! Never wants you to mask (:

helps you explore your identity while making you feel safe and comfortable!!!

[luna-azzurra]

do you have any advice for writing a love confession without making it grossly cheesy or awkward?

im writing one between long time childhood best friends that are EXTREMELY close and im so stuck

Since these two characters have been best friends for a long time, the confession should feel like it’s built off their history together. Maybe start with a memory that’s meaningful to both of them. It doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic moment, something small but personal, like a time they supported each other or a running joke they’ve had forever.

For example, one of them could say something like

“Remember that time we got caught in the rain walking home from school, and you made up that ridiculous song to keep me from freaking out? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately… and I realized that’s when I first started seeing you differently.”

When people confess their feelings, especially in a real and vulnerable way, it’s usually not in flowery language. If you try to make it too poetic or dramatic, it might feel forced. Instead, keep it honest and straightforward. They don’t need to say “I’ve loved you all along” in some grand, movie-like way. Let the confession come out more naturally, almost like they’ve been fighting it for a while and finally just have to get it off their chest.

You could have them say

“I don’t really know how to say this, and it might sound weird… but somewhere along the way, I started seeing you as more than just my best friend.”

There’s no way for this kind of confession to be totally smooth, and honestly, that’s what makes it feel more authentic. They’ve been best friends forever, so there’s going to be nerves, maybe some hesitation or stumbling over words. Lean into that awkwardness, it actually makes the moment more relatable and shows how important it is to them.

Maybe one of them starts talking, realizes they’re rambling, and tries to correct themselves. Like

“Okay, wait, that sounded dumb, let me start over. What I’m trying to say is… you mean a lot to me, more than I’ve probably ever said out loud, and it’s kind of terrifying because I don’t want to mess things up between us. But I’ve gotta be honest, this is how I feel.” The vulnerability in admitting they’re scared to ruin the friendship makes it more heartfelt and real.

This is probably the most important part! These two aren’t just falling for each other out of nowhere, they’ve built this strong, deep friendship over the years. So the confession should acknowledge how much that means to them. Make it clear that the romantic feelings don’t take away from their friendship but add to it.

You could have one of them say something like

“You’ve always been the person I turn to for everything, and that’s not gonna change, no matter what. But lately, I’ve been feeling something more, and I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I just hope it doesn’t mess things up between us.” This way, they’re emphasizing that the friendship is still the foundation of everything, but they can’t ignore the fact that it’s evolving into something deeper.

Overall, just make sure it feels true to the characters and their relationship. Don’t feel like you have to tie it up neatly with a perfect line or a romantic kiss right away. The beauty of this kind of love confession is that it’s messy and emotional, and it should reflect the complexity of their relationship. They don’t need to have all the answers right away. Let the moment be about the honesty and the fact that they’re finally admitting something that’s been building for a while.

Maybe end with something like

“I don’t know where this goes from here, but I had to tell you. You’re too important to me to keep pretending like I don’t feel this way.” This leaves room for both characters to process what’s happening without forcing a big romantic resolution right away. It’s more about them taking that first step into new territory, which feels more genuine and in line with the close friendship they’ve had for so long.

[bridgetoesoteria]

💌💟Realistically...What would they write in a love letter to you?

Surpriseee bish! Here is my double post as puh-romised. Its spring break, I aced my midterm, I had a nice lil chit chat with my crush where I high key let on to having feelings . *ahem* Now I wanna smoke and pull cards with my internet besties <3

So, I don't like those mushy-gushy readings that tell you the most ideal outcome, not the most realistic outcome. I am hoping to channel an authentic "letter," from the person you are here for.

Options are left to right. I hope it resonates 🥰

Pile 1

4-card spread: Page of Swords, Girl w/ Violin, Strength, The Sun. BOTD: 3 of Swords

I just want to see you happy. I hope you know that. I miss the feeling of you holding me. I think about all the times, I got to hold your hands in mine. I think you are amazing and angelic. If I ever seem difficult, or like I am pushing you away, its just because I don't want to hurt you even worse. You're the whole package. You can shine with or without me.

If there is still bad blood, I will make it right. At least that's what I think about doing. All the time. Can I step up? Can I really have my happy ending; The car, the house, the family, building a life together. I need to get over my cold feet, because the only person I see is you.

P.S.

I love your eyes. I love how much hope I feel when I look into them. I love your hair, especially the length/thickness. I love how balanced you are, and how you can consider different points of view. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taught me to care about someone other than myself. You show me that I can get over my demons. We could be a power couple.

(If you have a "butt chin," your person loves this too lol)

Pile 2

4-card spread: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords(R), 9 of Wands, The Star. BOTD: The Emperor

This person is definitely very attracted to you, but we are here for a love letter, mkay? Not a sext.

I don't know why you are acting like you don't want me anymore. You better not be giving away my ____ to anyone else. I want to be with you. I consider us to be a couple, no matter what happens. If you question where my head is at, my loyalty is with you. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I hate thinking about you being out there, living like you're single. I think about us having kids, animals, a family life. (If you already have kids they want to keep the family together).

I am working on my temptations. I know I need to be more responsible and I am willing to do that. I want to try having self-control. If that means cutting other people off, or waiting until you are comfortable being physical, I will do that. I respect your boundaries. You have every right to have them. I know you are just trying to love yourself. You should always stand your ground...even with me.

P.S.

You have a beautiful heart. You are so nurturing. You keep everything flowing. You completely fulfill me. You are more than enough. You definitely know what you are doing. I wouldn't have taken you for a "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" type.

Right now, you probably are focusing on yourself. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for. After pouring into everyone else so much, I hope you will start pouring into you now. I hope you will be receptive to all the good things you deserve.

Pile 3

4-card spread: Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Empress. BOTD: Justice

I can't figure you out. And its...amazing! It keeps everything so fresh. Maybe you don't feel like you are being mysterious but you are. I want to know what goes on "behind-the scene." I don't mean that in a pervy way. I mean, I want to know who you are, where you come from, what is currently going on in your life. I want to make the cut. Do you ever think about what your favorite diamond cut is? 💎

(Where ever your connection is, move up a step. This is not a literal proposal for everyone)

I want us to be on track. If I have to apologize, I will do that. I want to finally start something new. I want to make you feel like the king/queen that you are. I want us to be happy together. Especially if we are expecting 🤰

P.S.

Can I just brag on you really quick? I love your face shape. I love when we lock eyes. I love how you style your hair, even if I have never said so aloud. Even if I tease you about it sometimes. Its cute and so you. Everyone says we (would) go well together, and I have to agree. We could be our town's MGK and Megan Fox 🤣🤣

On a more serious point, you make me want to do better. Internally, I always feel challenged by you. I have my old beliefs, and then there's you. You make me want to throw out all the BS I believe about myself and start valuing myself more. I see how magical life can be, because I see how many miracles happen when we are together. I know I can do better.

Pile 4 4-card spread: 8 of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Emperor, 8 of Swords. BOTD: Ace of Swords.

(Your person could actually be the type to spill their feelings over texts or in the notes section of their phone)

I think about saying this all the time. I build up the courage to start typing, but I can never hit send. I just feel this lump in my throat. I'm a man! (or they are just someone who suppresses their emotions). I shouldn't have all these feelings. I feel overwhelmed by my attraction, my thoughts, my unexpressed feelings.

That's kind of what I grew up with. It was normal. People call it "traditional." I always thought (one of their parents, but I am really getting mom) could do better. Why are you still with them? I don't want that to be you. I don't want that to be our story. You always carry yourself well. I'm proud to be with you. I know you're a catch. I know you are the full package. I can't let you go. Please reconsider. I want to be with you.

P.S.

I hope you're getting rest. Don't lose sleep over me. Which is hypocritical, because I stay up thinking about you. Don't be scared...but I may have watched you sleep. I like how peaceful you look. I feel like I have privacy to fully process my emotions. I look at your face and I think about all the possibilities. It makes me nervous. If I have made a proposal of some kind, maybe to reconcile, I hope you sleep on it before you make a decision.

Pile 5 4-card spread: King of Cups, 4 of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Sun. BOTD: 8 of Swords

I think a lot of you are asking about a feminine energy, but flip the roles if needed. You could be the feminine energy being described, so maybe they want you to know you are "seen". It just started raining, so that makes me feel like this person is definitely more on the feminine side, or in touch with their emotions. You could both be young, or they're younger, or someone has a baby face.

I think about you all the time. Even when I am sad. I don't know if you know how much I struggle. My mental health isn't always in the best place. But you take my mind off of everything. I love when you look deep in thought. I come up with all these random ideas about what you could be thinking of. If you are away getting better, overcoming an ED, I hope you are being strong. I look forward to seeing you again.

You make me so happy. I miss being playful and messing with you. I could see us having babies. I think I would be a great mom/dad. But I know that's daydreaming and wishful thinking. I don't always understand your moods or what you want from me. Could you make it clear without it becoming an argument. I don't want to make you upset.

P.S.

You are soo pretty. I think your haircut really compliments your face. I love your side profile too. You are so smart. You know so much about the world around you or you are always willing to learn. I am impressed by your writing and/or creativity. I love everything about you. If I were an artist, I would make a portrait of you. You would be my muse. I just want you to know how special you are. You are 1 of 1 forreal. I am so grateful to have ever met you. You bring so much joy to my life.

Whew. GD! That was a lot lol. This took me two days. I am going to relax and enjoy the start of Spring Break. Whoop whoop 🙌

And don't laugh at me...but I just discovered archives so I might stop updating my masterlist, since you can find all my readings there too.

Lastly, I am also doing personals if you have not heard! Take a gander.

~ K

[babynorppa]

It's been more than a year and I still think about that magical moment at Barcelona gig 🩷💜💙

Barve Oceana became some sort of bisexual anthem to me that day. The one that tells a story about a person who got tired of the boundaries imposed by society. A story about wishing to run away to a place where you can be understood, be yourself in the most authentic way. And that place won't be too small for all of the dreams you want to achieve. Oh, no. You'll have so much opportunities there.

But most importantly you'll be able to breath freely there. Cause you will be a stranger to everyone there. And you'll finally feel that comforting sense of personal freedom. Happiness and love won't be on credit in that place too, they'll be fully experienced. Experimented. There won't be the same familiar faces, same old people. There will be new ones. Braver, smarter, less judgemental, more open to this world.

Will be that place a new city or country? Who knows. Maybe it's about some community of people who gets you. An online one. Or an offline one. Doesn't matter. You'll be accepted there. That's what is important.

Or maybe that place itself is an unreachable dream. Is it even possible to end up where the rainbow meets its end? Probably not. But it's good to have the visualisation in front of you. So you'll try to get to that place where pearls stay in seashells and not on necklaces anyway. Might get hurt in the process, might come back to the starting point. But that's just how life goes. And it's good to experience it in all of its glory. Without limiting yourself.

[reblive]

An except from Eric’s journal that i’ve thought about often as of lately. I have no place to put my thought so I will speak on here. No intent for discourse, I just have no outlet to speak on this matter. If this is not the space for you, just don’t read it. I don’t really care to hear anything.

“Society may not realize what is happening but I have; you go to school, to get used to studying and learning how youre "supposed to" so that drains or filters out a little bit of human nature. but thats after your parents taught you whats right and wrong even though you may think differently, you still must to have more of your human nature blown out of your ass. society trys to make everyone act the same by burying all human nature and instincts. Thats what school, laws, jobs, and parents do If they realize it or not and them, the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading.. if humans were let to live how we would naturaly it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldnt probably last that long, but hey guess what, thats how its supposed to be!!!!! society and goverments are only created to have order and calmness, which is exactly the opposite of pure human nature. take away all your laws and morals and just see what you can do. if the goverment was one entity it would be thinking "hey, lets make some order here and calm these crazy fucks down so we can be constructive and fight other goverments in our own little so called self created "civilizied world" and get rid of all those damn insticts everyone has" well shit I'm to tired wright anymor tonight, so until next time, fuck you all”

In some way in pains me to see the way he felt about the world and the wrong doings of those around him. If you take a second to sit and read what he’s saying it’s like part of his authenticity comes out and then transitions back to switching to speak to the audience and how he wanted to be seen. I can’t always articulate in words the feelings I get when I think about him but it’s genuinely always painful. He was so hurt, and described his pain, but still shadowed his true feelings of distress for the audience. He cared about what other people thought about him even in his writings, and it’s so disheartening that he was that broken and plague by the environment he was in. I take time to consider how people cannot feel empathy for him and I understand it due to the situation at hand (obviously) however, considering how he was 17 years old writing this, he was just a kid. He was once how we all once were, innocent and compelled to continue on the paths of our lives the way that the nature of society intended us to. It really goes to show how fucked up he had it. This draws me back to the butterfly effect, was there one decision by himself, or inflicted upon him by others that brought him to where he ended his life? Empathy is a theme he seems to disregard in his journal entries, and quite frankly, all of media and the world deems him as un empathetic because of his writings. We didn’t know how he thought of himself in his head, we didn’t know the guilt, destruction, and true pain he went through that was genuine. I find this a reason why there is much more weight put onto him within his person. “It’s only a tragedy if you think it is, and then it’s only a tragedy in your own mind.” (7/29/98) I suppose this is how we all (who empathize with E&D) feel and can relate to.

Thinking too much about his pain these days and what he once was and how he became what he was. Being truthful and honest are two different things. Being truthful, factual, what he did was terrible. Being honest, feelings, I have so much pain in my heart for how he was feeling. There’s nothing anyone can do now (whom empathize)

[rivetgoth]

The fact that I’ve seen a few people try to analyze I Saw the TV Glow through a lens of it being about like, fandom and obsession with media and nostalgia being bad ?? is genuinely blowing my mind. Obviously there’s the fact that this movie is as unambiguously about being trans as it can possibly be without just saying outright “this is a movie about being trans” but I also think this is crazy because I would say it actually has one of the most unambiguously positive relationships with concepts like “media consumption” and “nostalgia” that I’ve seen in a movie.

Like, to say it’s a shallow interpretation of the film to call it “about media/fandom” (and especially a negative depiction of such things!) is putting it quite kindly because I kind of feel that anyone who utters such sentiments didn’t actually understand the core element of the entire movie: “The Pink Opaque” is not a show. Commentary the film makes about watching “The Pink Opaque” cannot translate to commentary on watching shows broadly because the movie spends half its runtime making it explicitly clear that “The Pink Opaque” may be a show that exists in a literal sense but is not one in a figurative sense. “The Pink Opaque” represents the possibilities of childhood and innocence. Innocence that still is not free from judgment—Owen gets told the show is for girls, Maddy’s friend accuses her of sexual harassment on account of her sexuality while they were watching it together—but it’s the moment in your youth (or any time! it doesn’t have to go away!) when the possibility of queerness and more explicitly queer utopia feels real to you. The external pressures to conform are still there but you can tune them out if just for a moment to envision a future and a life for yourself free of it and living authentically. I think this is an experience all LGBT people can relate to, but in the case of ISTTVG it’s very explicitly primarily focusing on queer femininity, predominantly transfemininity, but in Maddy’s case as well she is a queer woman (I’ve seen some interpretations of her as transmasculine but I disagree personally). Hence the on-the-nose nature of it being PINK.

What feels very genius about Schoenbrun making it about a show though is that it’s so generational, right? For all of us LGBT people who grew up in the age of screens that WAS where a lot of that early imagination going wild resided. The first time you explore a new name is on anonymous forums. The first time you explore your masculinity or femininity is with which character you relate to in a show, or which gender you select in Pokémon. Movies and shows with “queer subtext” or even without give young LGBT people the chance to envision relationships and futures for themselves, what many grow up and call “shipping.” You have your first gay crush while watching your favorite movies. You envy those of your true gender while watching your favorite movies. Amongst many other things when Maddy watches “The Pink Opaque” she’s given access to a world where two women share this intimate connection and overcome obstacles together. When Owen watches “The Pink Opaque” they’re given access to a world where femininity is a real option for their future.

The relationship these characters have to “The Pink Opaque” is a net positive and the movie makes that so incredibly obvious when Owen goes back to rewatch it later and finds that it’s nothing like how they remembered, it feels childish and immature and dumb. That is a bad thing. This is a bad thing. The movie wants you to see this as a bad thing. This is the result of repression, of conversion therapy, of violent coercion into normative lifestyle—That sense of limitless possibility is destroyed and the idea of accessing one’s transness, of imagining this utopia where you CAN be yourself and live as a woman, strong and beautiful on the other side of the screen as said in the film, is lost. Now you tell yourself it feels silly, it feels childish to imagine such things, it’s not nearly as deep and meaningful as you believed it was when you were younger and less inhibited, or it’s at the very least easier to tell yourself that. Owen’s feeling embarrassed is of note here. If it weren’t for these external pressures that have been internalized they very well may have been able to still enjoy the show, even as they’ve aged and grown and matured, even if their perspective has changed a little. But they can’t. Not yet, at least.

I feel kind of out of my mind seeing people try to approach it through a lens of commentating on media consumption because it’s so deeply missing the layers of what’s actually being said… and not even in a wildly obfuscated way. The movie is ABOUT the relationship these characters have to “The Pink Opaque” and how the loss of that is a bad thing. How you can possibly watch it and see it being about some kind of growth from obsessive media consumption is mind boggling to me. Seeing multiple reviews and posts in tags about it is crazy. One thing I really like about this movie is that it so confidently argues for a more positive interpretation of being obsessed with “fantasy” and the childlike wonder of the limitless possibilities of fiction. I think that’s a very very trans narrative, as I mentioned it feels tied deeply into Queer Utopia, and I find it much more bold of a stance to take. In a world where people tell trans individuals (and especially trans women) that their identities are works of fiction or products of the imagination or even caused by excessive media consumption, to embrace these things and turn them over and use them as a symbol of the whimsy and innocence and excitement that first ignites that spark as a positive, thrilling, beautiful thing is very cool.