#the audio office

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.

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[poedays]

A Vincent and Darlin’ friendship that’s Darlin punching his shoulder playfully, and Vincent punching them back with his vampiric strength without meaning too.

Vincent apologises so much and Darlin tries to play it off like it didn’t hurt - but it did. And Vincent’s so apologetic and Darlin’s trying to play it tough and Sam and Lovely find it so hilarious.

[thevaudevillescene]

to go from “the people have always been behind me,” to “it’s been five years, i gave them every damn thing that i had, and they chose him,” to hearing people scream in horror when you take a step toward the ring because they think you’re going back to hurt your opponent even worse than you already have. to go from having the fans fully support you to having them fear you and look at you with disgust.

[cursedcola]

Everyone - I ordered 4 blind box plushies and the seller really said “I dub thee Savanaclaw….with an Ace”

They’re bullying him for not being swol lmfao

[lerios]

also wow Romana is COMICALLY corrupt lmao. like queen i love you but holy shit

"i dont have friends, just allies" yes bitch, because you keep elevating your only friends to political positions and destroying laws so that you can force your point on your pet causes 😭

2 episodes ago she was making dodgy backroom deals with known criminals because She Wanted To and anything is permissible to her if She Wants To. she knows Brax is committing 24/7 crime and its fine because her besties can do whatever they want. no shit she's a good candidate to become imperiatrix, she fundamentally sees no real issue with herself having ultimate power, that's practically what she's already doing lmao 🙃

like bestie WHAT is wrong with you. i went into this series expecting the main personal problem to be Narvin being a wet pathetic neurotic babyman but god Romana is a legitimate fucking car crash already (politically and otherwise)

[meownotgood]

I know I’m not crazy but I remember some years back you posted some Aki audios and when I tell you they ATE DOWN but I lost the links. Care to assist (for scientific purposes of course🧬) ALSOOOO I remember u saying something about the voice actor making more???!!! But I’m telling you I suddenly thought about it and remembered how happy it made me AHHH

yes!!! I made a couple, I'll drop the links to them for you and others to enjoy hehe

aki cleans your ears asmr

cuddling with aki asmr

surprising aki with a kiss

aki moans

aki moans in your ear for 100 seconds straight

aki whimpering

aki says, "I love you"

pov: aki fucks u softly (THE TRULY UNHINGED ONE LMAO)

also, all of these audios I made from a drama tape made by aki's va. it's a few hours long, it's an audio where he plays your coworker and takes you home after you're too drunk. you can purchase the audio here, it has versions with english subtitles now!! he sounds a lot like aki and there's many relaxing moments so I'd say it's worth it 💫

[lwdsial]

why was Vincent so surprised to someone showing up in the middle of the night as if it that’s not prime vampire hours

[redacted-vibes]

Okay so,, 🤌 Concept.........

Shaw pack meeting.

Everyone hushed,

listening to David

He's giving run down of whats been going on, what their plans are this week/month etc etc. Angel slowly creaks into the back of the room, no one really turns around but Angel is carrying a box of.. Something.

They make their way to their seat, fairly close to the front, near David but not directly in the spot light/podium watever tf he is. Everyone is still listening and concentrating on David with due diligence... But...

You can hear a smol constant kerfuffle coming from Angel and this box.

Slowly people begin to look over, check they're ok yknow surely something is happening.

Turns out Angel found a litter of kitten outside the Shaw Security office and didnt have the heart to just leave them there in the cold. So they boxed em up and brought them inside to distribute to pack members AFTER the meeting. At least they planned to. They did NOT think through the fact that all of these lil shits would be climbing out and wreaking havoc in a very quite meeting room, lead by the Very Serious David.

The meeting lasted as long as it could with this distraction (a whole 5mins). David ended it early because thats as long as he could hold to the packs attention thanks to his mate. OK THE END 😘

[pandoraroid]

do you guys think that when milo loses things around their place and then sweetheart finds em for him it's just

sweetheart: i believe this belongs to you, mr. greer

milo, grinning: why, yes officer. thank you

[buildoblivion]

thinking about lord president fivey so have this

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Game night ruined.

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[mcworm]

Ideal office set-up at the O.I.A.R.

[vibinginthedreamlands]

How many horror podcasts do you have to listen to to automatically recognize the sound of human teeth against a stone container?

[doctorwhommm]

please please for all that is holy consider drawing owen and andy. the best duo toxic yaoi that never interacts in the show but have so much good content in the audios i go RAHHH ty for hearing me out

THE off screen toxic yaoi duo i love the three monkeys hehehe >:)

their interactions in this audio are so insane they rly just flirt for an hour

[reagent-leon]

I went ahead and made a transcript for the villains' trailer because there are some quality dialogues that I feel people are missing out on. It would have been nice if Red Barrels had given us proper subtitles rather than autogenerated ones.

Big thanks to @misa-bun for keeping me sane and helping me go over the garbled audio towards the end.

EASTERMAN: You’ve been expressing anger in the therapy.

GOOSEBERRY: Everything Mother does is love! If I have to show a little… discipline, that’s just a firmer kind of love.

-

EASTERMAN: You’ve shown real enthusiasm. We’ve decided to give you a longer leash.

COYLE: You think you’ve got a leash on me? Might be you who built this little juzgado, but I’m the one who made it a home. Why you ain’t nothin’ but the towel boy in my whorehouse.

-

FUTTERMAN: The fuck d’you think I am? Some kinda puppet? You pull my string? Heh!?

EASTERMAN: You are literally a puppet.

GOOSEBERRY: Don’t! Don’t you upset Daddy.

-

EASTERMAN: This is science. If we happen-

COYLE: I’m fuckin’ talkin’ here! This ain’t a charity, this is business! Business don't mean shit without the law.

-

GOOSEBERRY: Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.

COYLE: Property don’t mean shit without a threat of violence.

GOOSEBERRY: Who would die for the children!?

COYLE: The threat of my boot on your neck is what butters the bread ‘round here and everywhere else!

GOOSEBERRY: Who would kill for the children!? 

COYLE: In the civilized world!

GOOSEBERRY: What would… you do… to protect the children!?

-

AVELLANOS: Cut them. Well? Whaddya think?

WERNICKE: Experience has taught me one truth about the human limits of terror and pain.

AVELLANOS: Which is?

WERNICKE: There are none.

________________________________

Just a few things worth noting:

"Juzgado" (pronounced hoos-gah-doh) is Spanish for courthouse or tribunal. The word "hoosegow" is a slang term meaning prison, derived from a mispronunciation of juzgado. It's interesting to me that he uses the proper Spanish given his well-known bigotry.

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children" is a direct quote from the novel Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray.

"Butters the bread" means how he makes his living, the job he gets paid for essentially. Police work is his bread and butter. 🤷

I can't think of anything else that might require further expiration, but if anyone else has any insights please share them!

[lerios]

is he shouting to romana about something else? is he shouting at romana about romana? who knows. possibly both 🥰✨