#the animation freak in me is FREAKING OUT

[sharkangelic]

It could also be used as a punishment! Maybe the first or secondborn did something to earn their parents' ire and in order win it back they need to go adventuring.

(After writing that I realize I did just describe Zuko but my thought process was more along the lines of... the parents are actually giving their kid something achievable lol.)

Or it could be a literal quest. Elderly father with a physically fit kid, or perhaps a magic-studying freak kid, "Go, my son, retrieve your grandmother's enchanted necklace from the lich king." If the DM has a problem with wealth - Kid gets robbed two days into his quest, party NEEDS to buy something expensive, the people in the upcoming village only trade in seaglass, etc.

Like literally there's so many ways to approach this sort of thing and tbh more players and DMs alike need to like... be creative and NOT say "you can't have this benign and possibly inconsequential character trait because it doesnt make sense or its impractical."

Like... yes you can! A lot of DMs say no to letting their players have evil characters because it disrupts party goals but like... I've played lawful evil characters and they don't disrupt the party. Their goals have just also Aligned with what the party wants/they need the party to function in order to get what they want.

I'm also playing a monstrosity in my next campaign. I went online to see what most people had to say about playing literal beasts and most of it amounted to "You CANNOT play an animal because you need to TALK to your party members and its such a huge problem to not talk!" So many people were saying this. So. Many.

I thought that was horseshit, but I brought it up with my DM anyway and the convo went as follows: Him: ":/ As the arbiter of this world I decree that your beast can speak. Problem solved." Me, intentionally parroting something I saw online: "but HOW can I speak?" Him: "idk you're creative figure out a fun reason. I GUESS i could come up with something myself but I assume you'd like the freedom to make up your own backstory?" Me: "Hell yeah!"

idk people always saying "This can't work!" outside of stats and math kinda sounds like a skill issue to me

"But how can you justify a player character with a (non-disinherited) noble background in a dungeon-crawling fantasy game" well, the most obvious approach is a fantasy setting whose nobility practices cognatic primogeniture where, instead of "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes a priest", it's "first son inherits, second son goes into the military, third son becomes an adventurer". From the player's perspective, it handily explains why the title comes with little material support from the family; from the family's perspective, there's an unspoken understanding that most of the spare heirs will be eaten by a dragon (or whatever), thereby simplifying the inheritance situation, and the few survivors will become great assets.

(There is, of course, the possibility that a surviving third son, having grown powerful and understandably harbouring some slight resentment, may return, kill his elder brothers with dark magic, and take over the dynasty, but in practice this almost never happens.)

[z0mbiezbite]

Modern Dedication (Draft)

Yandere Gotham x M!reader

Warning: these fanfic are gonna be for freaks by freaks. Also bad spelling and punctuation - this was posted for I can weed out anything unnecessary.

(Y/n) pulled a pack of Marlboros from inside his suit pocket. “Cigarette?”

A person was by his desk with a body of a battle axe and a cape that pools like a melted candle - Batman. chitty chitty bang bang, Batman. “The Joker, where is he?

(Y/n) struck the cigarette in his mouth, disinterested, “I’m not his keeper, babes.”

“A week before he escapes, the only outgoing mail he sends is addressed to you.” He said, and threw a stack of letters on (Y/n)’s desk - unintelligible and informal.

It was hardly evidence of anything. It only stressed that (Y/n) is one of the few who put up with the Joker’s insanity and Batman knew it. He had a sinking suspicion, Vengeance came for a different reason.

Quite foolishly, (Y/n) asked “Is a client not allowed to talk to their lawyer?” As his cigarette smoke blew over his shoulders like a locomotive.

"Your client is about to commit a crime. Legal confidentiality doesn’t protect you here.” Of course like all things that had to do with the Joker, the letters were incriminating.

Resigning himself, (Y/n) crossed his legs and pinched the bridge of his nose, “And you want me to...”

“Find him. He responds to you.” His voice held a slightly accusatory tone.

“Gross. Why’d you phrase it like that?”

“(Y/n).” Batman studied him with steal eyebrow only given to seasoned detectives. (Y/n) could practically feel Batman’s palpating anger.

Truthfully, (Y/n) didn’t find his particular reason a big deal, people die everyday whether from a stroke or strangulation from a clown. However, he knew Batman roughly cared and that was enough to throw a dog a bone.

“Alright, Alright.” (Y/n) held up a conciliatory palm. He reached for a pen in a cup on his desk and wrote laboriously on a note sheet; 50 W 33rd St. The ink was still wet and the hand writing, masculine.

He gave the note to Batman. “It’s a strip club” (Y/n) said “He goes there sometimes to blow off steam.”

(Y/n) unceremoniously tacked on, “You’ll like it there. They have big chested hard bodies that you can bury yourself in.”

Rather violently, Batman fisted his tuxedo in his hands. (Y/n) could hear his chair crackle underneath the weight. “You’re revolting. People are going to die.”

(Y/n) tried to animate his face in symphony. “Like that shit heel, Jason, did?”

That seemed to get him. Batman lunged his fist forward so hard and fast, (Y/n) felt his broad latex knuckles hit the back of his brain. His head dipped in a thunderbolt of pain with his broken nose and busted lip and a fury on his tongue,

“Fuck! You ass-“

(Y/n)’s frenzied sentence cut off jaggedly as Batman knuckled deep into his lapel once more and smashed their lips together in a ferocity that always seemed to always catch (Y/n) off guard.

Batman has always been restrained and aloof, a caution that comes with being vigilante. But now, from this close, (Y/n) could see the way Batman’s muscles worked, the flex of his shoulders - not out of shyness nor shame, but desire that only his skin could keep inside.

When they parted with hot and heavy breath, Batman, acutely missing (Y/n)’s cocaine tint tongue, said, “You owe it to me to find him.���

And, (Y/n), utterly dazed, licked his bloodied lip and said “You know how to keep a man wanting, bats.” then dipped his head in for another kiss.

The way Batman’s tongue lapped at the sliced skin of his bruised lip - (Y/n) knew he was a man possessed.

[toe-bees]

I hope they piss on the moon

[omg-snakes]

Ugh my spotted python bit me today. Hes my first snake and I feel bad he’s getting all my newbie mistakes but he’s done really well with handling and this is the first time I just don’t know what happened? I know they don’t bite out of the blue but I had taken him outside and he was very relaxed in my arms with his head on my shoulder, I stepped off the porch so he could feel some sun and made sure to keep his head in the shade and after a few seconds he moves around to the front of me and just slams my lip. Obviously it’s not bad I’m just so frustrated and feel like every step forward has like three back. And maybe he just doesn’t want to be handled that would be ok but he seems so good and happy to explore most of the time. I have looked into choice based handling but he never wants to wake up and come out of his hides during the day but he always is relaxed once he is out.

Aw, I'm so sorry you got tagged. That sounds like it was really jarring. Please don't be discouraged, though. Snake keeping is a journey, not a destination, and though it may feel like you're not making good progress, every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow with your pet.

Spotted pythons are nocturnal, so he may have been startled by the sudden sunshine and warmth and either mistook you for a predator or a snack. Bites are disheartening (and a bite in the face doubly so!) but it's part of snake ownership. We will all take a chomp at some point.

I once had my leucistic Texas rat snake on my lap while I was reading and I guess he fell asleep at some point, and when I moved my arm I must have startled him awake because he freaked out and tagged me out of nowhere. I was shocked and a bit hurt in the moment, and I totally get how you're feeling. It's nobody's fault. These are animals and sometimes they react to stimuli we think are pretty benign in ways we didn't expect!

If you're going to implement choice-based handing, it'll likely only happen after the sun has gone down. It might be good to try to interact on his terms for a while, as late in the day as you can and in low-light situations. He's less likely to be a butt if he's up and active during the part of his natural rhythm when he's most alert.

I mean, imagine having somebody pull you out of bed at 3am and shine a flashlight with the power of the sun at you. Even if it wasn't right in your eyes, you might be a touch irritable!

I hope that the two of you can find some common ground and that you are able to build more confidence as a keeper. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes, as you so quickly forgave him when he bit you. I know spotted pythons are considered a decent beginner species but I've definitely found them more challenging than some of the other options.

At the end of the day you're just two completely different animals trying to understand each other, and that's pretty cool.

[manheeiim]

Nothing Lasts Forever - JJ's Arrest

ᥫ᭡ link to nothing lasts forever masterlist

I'm once again with JJ and his friends, minus John B, and we're all gathered in Pope's family's shop. Pope's dad, Heyward, as JJ called him, but that I found out was actually just Pope's last name, Pope himself, was actually a very nice and welcoming man.

I was helping Pope's dad with something at the counter when he leaned in, speaking lowly, "Listen, kid. I can tell you're a sweet girl but I need to warn you." Heyward started.

"About what?" I asked politely but in a confused manner.

"JJ is trouble." Heyward told me. "Love the kid but he's bad news. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you shouldn't fuck it up by getting involved with his family's shit." Heyward added.

I'm silent for a few moments, "Oh... okay." That is all I say.

Was JJ really that bad? Sure, we've gotten into some type of trouble or did something we weren't supposed to be doing basically every hangout. But, he really was so sweet and I really did like him. I had even more feelings for him now after the kiss at the movie night the other night, so everything was very conflicting for me.

Heyward had gone outside for a moment to take care of something while I stayed inside, tidying up one of the aisles in the front. Pope was still very worried about the encounter at the movie night and honestly, I didn't blame him.

"Don't let them get in your head, bro. There's three of them and two of us. That's some typical Kook shit right there." JJ tells Pope.

"Hell, yeah." Kiara agreed as she worked behind the counter.

"What was your thought process, using your head?" JJ then asked Pope.

"I don't know, man. I just kind of acted off instinct, alright? I was a cornered animal." Pope told him.

"Hey, Pope, someone here to see you." Pope's dad called out as he walked inside the shop again. A cop then walked into the shop and JJ was immediately looking over at Pope, in fact, we all were.

“Evening, officer.” Pope said.

“I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property.” The cop said and Pope was looking back at JJ. Fuck. What did they do? “Keep your hands on the counter where I can see ‘em.” The cop said as he walked over to Pope.

“Woah, woah, woah, woah- wait. Shoupe, what’d he do?” Heyward asked as Shoupe cuffed Pope up.

“Take a look at the warrant.” Was all Shoupe responded.

“You’re arresting him?” Kiara asked in shock.

I walked over to JJ and watched nervously. Everyone was freaking out as we followed Pope and Shoupe outside of the shop where Shoupe led Pope to his cop car.

“It wasn’t him!” JJ suddenly yelled and everyone looked over at him. “It was me.” He said. JJ started to walk forward, “He tried to talk me out of it, but I was made because he’d just been beaten up.” JJ explained. “I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit. I can’t let you take the blame for somethin’ I did. You’ve got too much to lose.” He said.

“JJ, what are you doing?” Pope asked and then, I realized that JJ wasn’t telling the truth. He was doing this for Pope.

“I’m tellin’ the truth. For once in my goddamn life, I’m gonna tell the truth.” JJ countered. “I took his old man’s boat too.” He then added.

“What the hell, JJ.” Heyward said.

“JJ, come on.” Pope said.

“Shut up, Pope! Just shut up.” JJ told him before looking at Shoupe. “He’s a good kid. You know where I’m from.” JJ told the cop.

“Yeah.” The cop agreed.

“This was all me.” JJ said.

“That’s the whole truth?” Shoupe asked Pope.

“Whole truth, swear to God.” JJ said.

Shoupe looked at him, “I know what you think, damn it, I’m asking Pope.”

Pope looked at JJ for a few moments before slightly nodding, “Yeah, that about covers it.”

As Shoupe uncuffed Pope, JJ looked back at me, giving me a slight nod of reassurance. I couldn’t find any words as I just looked at him, watching him get into the back of the cop car before Shoupe drove off, leaving us all standing there, thinking; what the fuck?

[pika-ace]

TWST as Ghost Stories quotes...because it popped into my head and I couldn't resist

Kalim: There’s nothing to be afraid of, guys, monsters only eat evil people like Republicans and we’re not old enough to vote!

__________

Yuu: Grim is a very special cat! He just showed up…on the day of my mother’s funeral. My DEAD mother? You feel bad now?

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Ruggie: My BS detector’s going ‘ding!’

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Deuce: I can read! Well, not well, but I can read. And THOSE letters…are BACKWARDS!

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Silver: looking at a rabbit cage My friends over there think you’re a rabbit serial killer. And in the movies, this is the part where I foolishly trust you not to kill me and stick my hand in the cage. rabbit becomes a demon YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

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Rollo: (holds up a cell phone) Like Jesus, it never stops working for you

Sebek: A cellphone! Well what do you know; would’ve been nice to know 30 MINUTES AGO!!!

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Vil: I didn’t force you into this, you’re the one who wanted to do it, so there.

Cater: Sometimes ‘yes’ means ‘no’!

Vil: And sometimes, you’re a bitch.

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Lilia: Now THAT is some really nice animation.

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Epel: Alright, c’mon guys!

First Years: THUNDERCATS HO!

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Jade: Holy time machine, Batman, it’s 1973!

Floyd: Holy pre-Parkinsons Michael J. Fox Christopher Lloyd Back to the Future plot rip-off device, WHERE’S MY DELORIAN?!

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Ace: Leave me alone, I’m doing my standard ‘anime elbows up’ pose.

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Idia: gasp It’s the chick from The Ring! I mean…The Grudge…what movie are we ripping off again?

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Crowley: Time to go home, load up that bong, and watch Pokemon! WOO!

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Jamil: RUN! She’s a ghost AND a bitch!

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Rollo: ….HaveyouacceptedJesusasyoursavor?

Ruggie: No, I’m Jewish

Rollo: I just want to make sure you’re saved-

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Ace: How high ARE you?

Deuce: on the phone There’s no one around! I can’t hear anything! I’m freaking out! Paranoid!

Ace: You smoked ALL OF IT didn’t you? ...I mean, what are you talking about, there’s tons of people here!

Deuce: YOU smoked all of it!! There’s NO ONE here!

[owoesies]

I JUST WATCHED WOLFWALKERS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND OH MYGOD. AU WHERE HUNTER IS ROBYN AND LUZ IS MEPH AND. AND. SIBLINGS

[sparticus2000art]

Behold! One of the scrungliest creatures alive- Spamton G. Spamton, the GOAT himself

I’ve had the rough idea for this for ages, but misplaced the original sketch…. But hey! He’s done now !

[axeylotl]

Roger Jones Is A Prey Species: My Biology PHD Thesis

horizontal pupil

hides when he's scared (even if he's not doing a good job of it)

skittish, easily spooked

Okay that's it that's all I got thank youuuu

@cr1minalc1minalcr1minal

[petro1986]

THE RESULTS ARE IN!! if you didn't get a chance to vote, well that sucks... Maybe redo this with a dedicated Tumblr Poll account or Disney Critical Blog (fuck off suck ups)

Who's ready for the Data? GOOD!

Childhood Trauma:

Dead last (for both polls actually) is: "Intermission/Meet the Soundtrack! It's a big nothing burger based on the limited sample size, if you have a thing about waveforms, let your voices be heard (and bamboozled in one direction)

8th place of Fantasia Trauma: The Pastoral Symphony, 1.8% traumatised. Place your bets where it'll come on the Horny list!!! (ignore results above)

it's now a three way tie for 5th place, with Toccata & Fugue/The Nut Cracker Suite, and Dance of the hours with 3.6% each. the last of the single whole digit scorers, and fun fact: My Partner is traumatised by One of these segments, feel free to speculate among yourselves as to which exact moment >:3c

4th Place, at 14.5% of 55 votes, Give it up for The Rite of Spring! Ponderous Dinosaurs and a genuinely creepy T-Rex* that for the longest time represented one of the most visceral depictions of dinosaurs, until Chris Pratt came along... Well done Dinos!

With the Bronze Medal, with 16.4%: The Sorcerer's Apprentice! Animated brooms following orders mindlessly, fucking mood.

In with the Silver, at 27.3% of voters: Night on Bald Mountain! Lot's of great nightmare imagery and Chernabog! Harpes with titties! Dæmons dancing and melting into pulsing flesh! If you want to get fired from your childcare job the quickest way possible, skip to the last chapter of Fantasia!

But taking the Gold Medal, with a whopping 29.1% for most trumatic part of Fantasia 1940 is: Didn't see it/Watched Fantasia 2000!!! The greatest trauma is the barriers to seeing a veritable piece of art and Steve Martin

NOW ONTO THE HORNY LIST 🍑🍆👀💦 No one is horny for the Intermission/Meet the Soundtrack, need not freaks clearly next time these polls get redone... BUT JOINING THE SOUNDTRACK is Toccata & Fugue, Now I know someone crosses their legs to that segment! both got 0% so are canonically the least horny parts of the film

7th place, The Nutcracker Suite at 3.2%: If you're into Fae folk and poorly aged mushrooms, you do you! Just be careful about putting your dick in it (if in doubt: don't put your dick in it)

For joint 5th place (much to the author's displeasure) is The Rite of Spring & Sorcerer's Apprentice, with 6.5%... If they aren't at risk at putting you in A&E from getting frisky, is it really anything?? But then that could go for number one... You'll see... Oh, forgot to talk about Sorcerer's Apprentice, Would smash Yen Sid~

4th place with 9.7% is Dance of the Hours: 10/10 baddy T-Rex made many monster fuckers out of nearly 10% of you, that's a healthy kink! Step on me Mommy

Into the Medals, and bringing home the Bronze is Night on Bald Mountain with 12.9%! Step on me Daddy Chernabog~

Silver with 29% is Haven't seen Fantasia 1940/Watched Fantasia 2000! Horny for not watching movies and that personification of The Forest/Nature, But I will cancel You if Rhapsody in Blue does it for you...

The Pastoral Symphony wins the horny Gold with 32.3... Only acceptable if you're Smashing/getting Smashed by Bacchus/Zeus/Vulcan, I won't be taking further questions on this...

What can we draw from this? Go watch Fantasia 1940 in any way that doesn't put coin in Capitalism Rodent's pocket, but watch out for the un-censored versions, all the more reason that I'm so dissapointed at the Horny Gold winner...

Wiki page to remind yourself which visuals go with what music

If multiple, I'm sorry that there's no granularity with Tumblr Polls, reblogs for larger sample size is greatly appreciated!

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

"It's hopeless! Every man who has gone in is either too large to fit down the squeeze or they completely lose their nerve and turn tail!"

"Don't despair, we'll get him out. We just need someone small, tough, and with no sense of self preservation."

A caver is stuck down a gypsum cave and has sparked a media frenzy. Tintin's editor sends him to America to get in on the story, but Tintin quickly discovers that while the attention the story garnered might have sent more help the caver's way, the disruptive crowds, moneyed interests and media circus might have only aided the cave's endeavour in holding its prisoner captive.

[wormteeth2004]

my toxic trait is that people who hate bugs make me so incredibly mad and I'm always convinced there's absolutely no way people could find certain bugs scary and that they have to be exaggerating or joking or something. what do you mean you're scared of weevils. grow up.

[missingsunlight]

Dream went bald and everybody panicked- (°▽°)

bonus Sap blob:

[forwomenbiwomen]

The ways testosterone affects the body is not to be understated, however. There are inescapable physical differences between men and women, that's common sense. I see no reason why the physical differences and hormone levels don't affect how the brain responds even a little bit. I say this as someone who knows female and male structures are functionally the same, btw. It's just a fact I can't shake that we have different balances of hormones and cycles and even male animals are rapey and vile. And then there's the fact that when males dope up testosterone, they are commonly more violent with less empathy.

But no. I don't think they're totally a lost cause. Do you remember the case where the males of a chimp (?) tribe were wiped out in some freak event and the males that were born without that influence were peacefully raised by females, turning into perfectly fine members of the community? (The only argument against that is how they got that way in the first place.)

I choose to believe they're not inherently violent for my own sanity lol. I believe it is in fact socialisation and social structures that allow them to act on their base impulses. Because their forefathers have somehow turned the desire to mate with the best female above other males into violence of women and institutionalised hierarchical structures, they're emboldened to act differently than they would have if women were equal. Men with stable and equal families, or who have been homeschooled, are far less violent and that to me proves that they can be tempered with the right upbringing and worldwide socialisation. It's a big ask and I don't know how we're going to get there, tbh.

So this question is a little complicated. While I definitely don't think that someone's personality changes their sex, I do find it a little strange when radfems say that there's no difference between how men and women think but in the same breath talk about the fact that TIMs being violent and sexually aggressive is indicative of the fact that they're men. This cognitive dissonance is very frustrating to me, because I absolutely believe that there's a difference in how men and women behave and think. Men are more violent and sexually aggressive, that's just a fact, and it's the reason they've always oppressed us. But I don't believe that if a man happens to be less violent and sexually aggressive that that somehow means he's a woman.

So here's my question:

Setting aside the trans issue for a second, do you believe that there is a difference between the way men and women think on a fundamental level?

Yes, solely because of their violent tendencies; other than that there are no differences

Yes, because of their violent tendencies, and there are also other ways women think differently from men

No, they aren't inherently more violent than us, though there are other differences

No, they aren't inherently more violent than us, and there are no differences whatsoever

Unsure

-🐌

[starflungwaddledee]

kirbytober 2023 08 + 22: enemy + rainbow [ prev || next ]

“I could steal a million stars, but what’s it to me? Can’t take back a wish once it’s made.”

thought i'd also include the static image, due to the amount of crunch added by the .gif! in this case i don't even mind it tbh; it works for him i think. he can be a little crunchie

[deviousdiesel]

why does this interaction feel so natural between them