#the absolute mentally ill disaster that is this man

[theclaravoyant]

just. GOD the way Stede’s been shoving it all in and not really realising how it’s been building up. as far as his issues are concerned everything around him eventually gets ruined and it’s his fault

yes, it’s about Ed shaving his beard and being “ruined” by his love

but it’s also about his family . the ex wife. two messed up kids probably . not just abandoning them in the middle of the night then unabandoning them again but a whole loveless marriage and everything that goes with that. EVERYTHING he tries to love is ruined , even if he stops trying .

it’s about how Lucius got thrown overboard and scarred for life over him and Izzy got his leg shot off for “daring to mention your name” . it’s pretty heavily suggested that poor Steakknife **died** for defending him to Zheng

and he killed a man for lots of reasons but the one his spiralbrain probably fixates on is that it was for calling him a bumbling amateur because he (quote unquote) knows he IS one . he’s been a failure his whole life .

(he’s killed a lot of people actually . that’s kind of messed up . something’s probably wrong with him.)

and sure. a lot of this stuff has been touched on by the narrative , such as him to a large extent healing the relationship with his family . but the thing about trauma and self loathing is that resolving things is messy and hard and if you’ve got that voice in your head calling you a monster a plague defiler of beautiful things it doesn’t just go away because your ex wife gives you a hug.

It *especially* doesn’t go away when you cut off your flashback spiral halfway through and have mutually consensual but ill advised sex about it

and now the Pirates’ Republic lies around him in ruins and every single ship in Zheng’s fleet is burning . beautiful things . history’s greatest pirates. they were doing just fine before he came along .

[seventh-district]

it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Can we get some stuff recharging adult Lucky and Kaku? … asking for a friend.

anon I am gently kissing you on the forehead, thank you so much I have been wanting to talk about them since finishing Enies Lobby

under the cut because I am mentally ill about this man

When they meet, it's in the kitchen of the Going Merry when he comes to check out the ship. Lucky was already a little rattled from the Franky Family trying to jump them, so a strange man suddenly appearing on the ship definitely scares her a bit.

That, and the whole Enel situation happened like not even a week ago.

She freezes and stares at him when he walks in, and he isn't doing any better. He just came to do an evaluation on a ship and now he's finding this poor, battered woman cowering in one of the rooms.

He snaps out of it and is quick to explain who he is and why he's there. Once she's calmed down and realized she isn't about to be attacked again, he steps closer and asks in a hushed tone if she needs help. Rescuing people being held hostage on a pirate ship is hardly a first for Galley-La.

Her attempts to convince him that she is actually fine aren't particularly successful, but he doesn't force her to come with. He does talk her into showing him around the ship "just in case he misses something", but really he's just worried Zoro is going to do something to Lucky when he isn't looking.

Just as he's leaving, he slips a piece of paper into her pocket. It's hastily jotted down directions to Dock 1 if she changes her mind. Lucky is somewhat charmed. While his concern was ultimately unnecessary, it was very sweet of him.

Kaku, meanwhile, is having a crisis. Being able to shut down and disregard emotions is something he had to get good at in his line of work, so why could he not get Lucky out of his head? Why does he feel like he needs to go back and save her? He puts it aside, but just barely.

It keeps building as the arc progresses and further encounters make him feel even more hot under the collar. He went out of his way to bring her some lunch while also covertly doing CP9 stuff because she mentioned wishing she could've tried this one particular food Water 7 was known for. He's down bad and has no idea what to do.

Ultimately, he leaves her behind when their cover is blown and they all head to Enies Lobby, but when she comes there... His resolve breaks. Clearly this is meant to be, why else would she have come here despite the danger? She was meant to be his. She wants this as bad as he does.

After being defeated by Zoro, he uses the last of his strength to find and bring her with him. He's 100% ready to leave everything behind just to be with her. This doesn't work out thanks to Lucky having an impact dial on her, but even after taking such a vicious blow, he's still attempting to reach out to her.

Kaku hates who and what he is. He never asked to be an assassin, none of them did, but he could never fully settle into the roll. A part of him always resented the people who did this to him. Who forced him to live such a horrible life when he could have been normal if they'd laid eyes on anyone but him.

Lucky is his second chance. She's an opportunity to run away and restart his disaster of a life. To experience the normalcy he had up until now thought would only ever be a fantasy.

All he wants is to walk away from all this and be a normal, happy couple living a refreshingly mundane life. Sure, it wouldn't be completely normal, they would have to move around constantly to evade detection from the world government that would absolutely be looking for him, but it's nothing they can't persevere through together.

The thing he wants most is a family. The memories of his own family from his childhood are so far away and unclear that he isn't even entirely sure they're real or just something he came up with to make himself feel better. But now, with Lucky, he could have something indisputably real. Their children would be as adorable as they would be loved, that's what he tells her when he's trying to force convince her to come with him.

Kaku is delusional to an extreme. He only ever sees Lucky as a victim of circumstance that is so traumatized from her past that she can't be trusted to make good decisions for herself. That's why she needs a little push, he tells himself.

Please ask me more about him, I'm obsessed as you can probably tell.

[inkwell-intermission]

THIS IS AN OPINION PIECE

List of intermission characters that I personally do not believe would have their hair long OR should have other specific hair lengths/styles and why- note: This does not include characters i think would look better with short hair, this is just about characters I think would not have their hair long for personality/realistic reasons, NOT because I do not like the hair long, that's a different kind of list

1) Pickle Inspector does not have long hair Why: He's got really bad hygiene problems. He keeps his waste in glass jars in his office, is a serious alcoholic, substantially mentally ill and wildly dissociative day-to-day, this man could not take care of long hair. It would require a level of hair care or showering or brushing or even oiling that he is absolutely not up to. If he has long hair, I think it should NOT be pretty and silky, it would be an absolute disaster that would make a hairdresser call upon a higher power to fix 2) Die does not have long hair

Why: I personally headcanon Die as having trichotillomania so he pulls his hair a lot. Having long hair can trigger that more often, and would make the patterns of where he's pulled hair and has scars or destroyed follicles way more obvious. I don't think he moves through the world without a hat on in almost any situation and has entirely removed his eyelashes, his hairline is not making it out alive. I also think similar to Pickle Inspector, he has terrible hygiene because of how wildly anxious he is. He barely feels comfortable taking his coat off let alone all of his clothes to shower, and long hair would not be taken care of by him- it might be brushed, but it would probably be often filthy due to that kind of neglect and terror at the idea of even approaching a shower. 3) Diamonds Droog does not have long hair

Why: This man is so autistic he would just die. If he had his hair down and wind blew and hair got on his face he would kill someone. If he had hair long and was unable to perfectly catch every single hair in a hair tie he would kill someone. If too much hair came out in the shower he would get too fixated on whether or not he's losing hair because when you have long hair, losing the same amount of hair looks like a LOT more than when its short. Also someone could grab it or pull on it in a fight, which is also a problem. If he put a shirt or coat on and the long hair got caught under it he consider cutting it off entirely. As is, my version of Droog has more of a 3b-3c type of hair and keeps it cut very short, with touch-ups every two weeks. He likes going to a barber (male bonding homoeroticism) frequently but also after every haircut he needs to shower and change clothes because if he has stray hair on him he will die. He COULD NOT SURVIVE LONG HAIR (neither could most people within bludgeoning range).

4) Matchsticks would have a mustache

Why: Old timey firefighters in the 1800s who were working before filtration systems had mustaches because they helped to keep debris and particulates out of their noses! it was good and helpful to have and a lot of firefighters today still have them. He would not have a beard though because that could actively ruin the seal on any filtration helmets that he DID wear, so I think it's a good argument to give him a mustache! It's also dashing. NOTE: he COULD have long hair! He just would not wear it down in almost any situation for fire hazard concerns especially considering how constantly he's fighting fires- he wouldn't wear loose clothing, he might not even have coattails for that reason!

5) Cans would not have long hair

Why: I think because of his size and the dexterity and overall massive nature of his hands and arms he would feasibly have a difficult time dealing with long hair, whether its for brushing or styling. It would also be inconvenient to get a lot of plaster dust caught in if he's crashing through walls all the time, and if he got wet at the same time it could really ruin someone's hair. I think it's more practical and realistic for him to keep his hair, at least in the back, cropped fairly tight.

6) Doc Scratch would not have hair

Why: HES BALD i know people love to give the human versions of him like, slicked back white hair and I'm NOT saying that's not a design for him that absolutely works and makes sense but what I am saying is that it's a hairpiece. He is wearing a wig. He has no eyelashes or eyebrows that are not intentionally applied. This man has alopecia and is completely smooth and slick like an amphibian and dries incredibly quickly as a four foot tall hairless jackass.

7) THE GIRLS would not have long hair

Why: This one is the least fact based, but i think it still makes sense. I think Snowman, Dame, and Broad should keep their hair similar to what is seen on them, or otherwise short. This is mostly because of the 1920s-40s aesthetic fusion nightmare that is the vibes of the intermission- a lot of women wore their hair short, especially young fashionable women. If women had long hair, it may be worn close to the head to emulate a bob cut. Some had longer ringlets, but for the femme flapper energy of Dame and Broad, I think it fits that they would have shorter hair. For Snowman, I personally depict her as being completely bald and wearing a variety of incredibly expensive lace-front wigs. If they're carapacians, all of the ladies would be wearing wigs, but even as a human, I think Snowman keeps a fully or closely shaved head and has the most expensive collection of quality wigs known to Midnight City- if she even wears one at all. With Ms. Paint it's totally up in the air because she wears a bonnet or hijab or other kind of headwrap and can have whatever kind of hair she wants underneath that, girls rock.

literally every other character can easily have longer hair and it would make a level of sense even if i wouldn't personally give them longer hair, these are just the characters i think shouldn't have longer hair more on principle but AGAIN THIS IS AN OPINION I'M JUST SHARING MY THOUGHTS. IM NOT HAIR POLICE

[alecflynnarchive]

basics.

full name — Alec Bodhi Flynn

faceclaim — Nick Robinson

gender & pronouns — cis man, he/him

age — 28

birthday — 8/23/1996

sexuality — disaster bi

occupation — bartender at The Pour House

neighborhood — transient (living in a van), but mostly stationed around Forest Lake

length of time in blue harbor — all his life, with occasional bouts of traveling throughout

tldr. tw: mental illness, drugs, alcohol, child neglect (full bio can be found at the bottom of the intro)

alec is a blue harbor native. he's been cutting it up in these streets since day one. his mother suffers from manic episodes and would often leave him alone for days on end and go cause havoc around town. so locals probably know the name 'daisy flynn' and they probably don't get warm and fuzzies when they hear it. his dad is totally unknown to him

with the freedom of having absolutely zero structure growing up, alec fell into partying. he taught himself how to play the guitar, and as he got older, he used that to his advantage. he started a band, was surprisingly good at writing songs— the only time anyone caught a glimpse of emotional depth— and settled into his role as the heartbreaker

alec really thought the glory of high school would last forever, even going as far as buying a van with the intention of touring for the summer between junior and senior year and every summer after that. only, he never clued his bandmates into those plans and they actually had parents that gave a shit, so instead, he turned it into his home. eventually, inevitably, they were evicted from their apartment when his mom went off the deep end for a little too long, so he sort of had no choice

for all of senior year, alec lived alone in his van that he lovingly named ole bessy. it was about halfway through the year that he realized people were making plans outside of blue harbor. college, jobs, settling anywhere that wasn't here. but alec liked here, and he didn't really understand everyone being so hellbent on leaving

abandonment issues settled in and alec sort of became a nomad. once he graduated from high school (somehow??? like, good for him, but i genuinely don't understand how he did it) he left blue harbor to travel in his van. he played shows, settled in places for just long enough to start to feel those attachments grow and then he'd take off again

he'd roll back into town from time to time, but when he inevitably messed up, he'd leave again, coming back only when enough time had allowed to dust to settle. and the cycle has repeated itself now for years

headcanons.

alec has undiagnosed dyscalculia. he doesn’t realize that numbers don’t jumble around in everyone’s heads the way they do his. it makes him feel stupid, so he tries to avoid math situations, or anything that has anything to do with numbers.

alec can be very self-absorbed. it’s not because he’s a dick, it’s just because he’s always too aware of himself to see things from any other perspective. he’s covered up his need to be loved and accepted by fooling himself into believing everyone loves him the way he loves everyone else. it’s a fun line to walk.

because alec largely had to parent himself, there are a lot of things he misses that should be obvious, but just aren't. he genuinely doesn't ever go out of his way to hurt anyone's feelings, but he definitely has left a string of heartbreak in his wake. he just doesn't know how to let people in, he doesn't understand that his inability to love isn't the same for everyone else. he just expects that people feel the way he does about things.

he writes really good fuckin' songs. you would never know he is the same person listening to his songs versus meeting him in real life, but it stems from the fact that he never learned how to deal with or regulate his emotions, so he channels it into his song writing

alec is a very physically affectionate guy. his love language is physical touch so it's not weird or out of the ordinary for alec to be touchy.

wanted connections.

childhood friends - some that he still keeps in touch with, maybe some that are starting to get tired of his shit. maybe some that have been tired of his shit for a while

bandmates - new or old. he's been back in town for a little while now, so he's had time to get the band back together (or welcome new people into it)

best friend - someone who understands him in a way that other people really don't. they might be hurt when he leaves, but they know that he'll come back and they know why he is the way he is. it's complicated but they'll always have his back

exes - alec is not known for his faithfulness or for being a good boyfriend. these would have likely ended badly and they wouldn't have gone on for very long. or maybe a few ended up friends. who knows

hook ups - a guy has needs. and those needs don't need strings. it can be complicated with unrequited feelings or it can just be a casual thing that just scratches an itch for both parties

antagonistic - enemies alec has made, people that liken him to his mom who is still around causing trouble, people that feel he's done them dirty. maybe past employers he's left high and dry. people he owes money to. anything!

honestly, up for ANYTHING. might add more as they come to me, but let's just throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks.

full bio.

Alec Flynn was born a free spirit. As a child, he was always questioning everything: who decided we have to go to school five days a week? Why is ‘because I said so’ an acceptable answer? Why do we have to wear shoes? We’re inside! (Alec was regularly in trouble in school for taking off his shoes). For a minute, he tried the Scouts thing, but ultimately it wasn’t meant to last. He didn’t do well with structure or a chain of command. He constantly questioned authority and pushed his limits as far as they would go and then some. He’d say he quit, but it was, at the very least, a mutual parting of ways. It was probably for the best, though. Being raised by a single mother who followed her every whim and regularly left her too-young son alone, sometimes for days on end, while she ran off with a new boyfriend or chased a new high meant that money was so tight it was basically non-existent. Just like the father he never knew. God forbid they spent any of that money on him.

He found his stride a little more once he hit high school. Being musically inclined since he could talk suddenly seemed a lot more interesting to his peers once puberty hit. Alec loved the attention and he leaned fully in. He started a band with a few friends. People knew him. And for the first time in his life, he felt seen. That kind of feeling went to his head. He was a serial dater, the heartbreaker, and he really fell into the party scene. With his friends at his side, he felt unstoppable, untouchable. The band found its groove and they owned the school. Or, at least, in Alec’s mind, they did. 

The insecurities began to creep in around the middle of senior year. He’d never been much of a planner, content to only acknowledge what was right in front of his face at any given moment. But Alec began to realize, as everyone finalized their college and future plans, that he’d never really given it any thought. He liked what he did and what he had here, so why change it? But in the back of his mind, it did cause panic, listening to everyone plan to leave Blue Harbor behind. 

Leave him behind.

Alec grew a little more reckless after that. He partied harder, he wrote songs with a frantic edge. He thought maybe if he could just get lost in the life, it would never abandon him. But in the end, he watched people he adored and people that adored him scatter to the wind after graduation. 

On a whim, he’d purchased a van with money he’d managed to scrape together. It was an absolute piece of shit, but it was his piece of shit. It’s original intention was to go on tour— a notion he’d had but hadn’t clued his bandmates in on until after he’d already bought it— but when he was slapped with an eviction notice after his mom had been gone on a bender for weeks, it became home. 

For years, Alec did his best to outrun the bad feelings. Abandonment issues, who? Alec was simply a free spirit. It was in his DNA after all. His mother had never been able to stay in one place, and with a home on wheels, why shouldn’t he do the same? 

So it became something of a routine. He’d roll back into town after staying gone long enough to be missed, for whatever misdeeds he’d released on Blue Harbor to be forgotten or at the very least swept under the rug. And then, when he inevitably messed up, he’d go again to start the process over once more. It kept him safe and it kept others safe from him. That was a lesson he’d learned from his mother who had become something of a fixture on the streets in Weaver Ridge, becoming the town’s burden instead of just his. 

He’d like to stop running. Of course he would. But everything catches up to you when you stop moving. And he’s not ready to face those things just yet.

[aihoshiino]

just read chapter 153 and then your thoughts on it and. i am chewing. screaming. hikaru kamiki, the (absolute traumatized disaster of a) man that you are. that entire chapter immediately catapulted him into the spot of one of my faves (tho tbf, i love all onk characters)

also, while reading your thoughts, specifically the part about aqua/ai and ruby/hikaru parallels,,, if those are on purpose/meant to foreshadow things,,, that would bring up the possibility that, uh, ruby might pull a hikaru on aqua, so to speak. i mean, it's conjecture on my part, i could be wrong, but, uh. the signs. they are certainly there. maybe i'm misreading them. but they're there.

HE'S SOOOOO UNWELL... I've been prodding and poking at The Idea of kamiki basically since we started getting concrete info about him so seeing a lot of the stuff I'd been hoping would be the case re: his characterization and relationship with Ai actually turn out to be true has been soooooo satisfying. As disappointed as I am it took us this long to actually get around to dealing with him, I defo agree he is Up There in terms of OnK characters I'm having a ton of fun rotating. I just love it when an anime dilf is evil and mentally ill.

AS FOR WOOBY... I definitely think this is foreshadowing for where the AquRuby drama is going to go, in that we're gearing up for her to be hit with an 'I can't love you the way you want me to love you' truthbomb like Kamiki was from Ai. We'll probably get an Oshi no Joker moment from her but I think she'll ultimately come out of it a lot stronger, accepting that even if Gorou -> Aqua can't love her the way she's clung onto, he's still here and he does still love her - as do all the other people in her life.

In general, a lot of these generational parallels between Ai's social circle and the main cast are about correcting for the mistakes that the prior generation made - how, uh, effectively this is actually pulled off when it comes to B-Komachi is definitely YMMV (i love ruby but she is god's most annoying nepobaby and she doesn't even know it) but it feels pretty obvious to me that this is being telegraphed with the Hikaru parallels, especially with the really heavy handed Moving On Towards The Future theme that's been hammered in the last few chapters.

[quietquaking]

my personal Batfam headcanons-updated to include languages, birthdays, and a few extra notes!

Languages

*reading/listening

**speaking

writing

All:

- English

- ASL

- Arabic

- Mandarin

Alfred

- rough German**

- French

- rusty Russian

- Urdu

- BSL

- lil bit of Gaelic**

Bruce:

- French**

- easily fluent Russian

- Latin

- Urdu

- basic Nepali**

- BSL

Dick:

- German**

- some forms of Japanese*

Babs:

- Cantonese

- Japanese

Jason:

- French*

- basic Latin

- Turkish

- easily fluent Spanish

Steph:

- Urdu

- Pashto**

Cass: (understands/writes)

- Russian*

- Pashto

- Cantonese

Tim:

- German**

- Latin

- Pashto

- lil bit of Gaelic* from alfred

Damian:

- German**

- Russian

- Urdu

- Pashto

- Nepali

- Japanese

- Spanish

Members

- backstory/hero history (opt)

- job (opt)

- hc’s

- mental illnesses/neurodivergencies

- gender/sexuality/pronouns

- race

- bday

- age

- height

Alfred Pennyworth

- born 1925, accidentally drank from a Lazarus pit in ‘88, has been bouncing around the globe fucking with Ra’s since then

- well actually bruce’s parents died right around then so he had to take care of him, didn’t notice he wasn’t aging until early 1990’s

- perpetually like 63

- has an extensive history in secret service and espionage

- sassy bastard

- the real man of the house

- was definitely sleeping with both elder waynes (late 1960’s-mid 80’s)

- they had bruce in ‘80 (in their early 40’s) died late 80s

- Bday: aug 16, 1925

- age: ??

- 5’10 ish

Bruce Wayne

- actually a disaster

- has acting stupid down to a science

- and fear tactics as batman

- radiates either boyfriend and father vibes depending on the person

- slight british accent when he’s tired/relaxed thanks to alfred (jl flipped the fuck out when they heard it)

- probably autistic tbh, used to live life in perpetual panic attacks

- he/him, disaster bi

- jewish by race, not religion

- bday: april 7, 1980 (early millennial)

- age: 40

- 5’11

Dick Grayson

- ex robin, now nightwing

- police detective (sort of a ‘fix the system from the inside’ type of thing)

- splits his time between bludhaven and gotham, has his own apartment, but still kinda lives in the manor

- at least proficient in all gymnastics-type activities (tramp, bar, beam, silks, ballet, ballroom, and more)

- floor routines/flippy shit and trapeze are his specialities

- anxiety galore (being on the trapeze calms him)

- he/him, bi

- Romani (not at all connected to it tho)

- Bday: march 20, 1992 (late millennial)

- age: 28

- 5’9

Barbara Gordon

- ex batgirl, now Oracle

- mostly paralyzed from the waist down bc joker shot in the base of the spine

- computer hacker

- just does oracle stuff and helps her dads with cases

- Commissioner Gordon’s foster daughter

- ADHD probably

- she/her, pan

- white

- Bday: sep 23, 1994 (late millennial)

- age: 26

- 5’9 when standing, 4’4 (?) in the chair

Jason Todd

- ex robin, now red hood

- he’s a teacher! honestly any grade works

- died and came back. fucking lazarus pits.

- has the white streak goddamnit

- everyone is scared of him but it turns out he’s actually a sweetheart who loves to bake

- he puts on a tough face but he actually cries really easily and frequently. that’s part of why he wears the full-face mask- no one can see the way his face twists when he’s disguising the difference in his voice, or the tears leaking out from under the domino

- alfred and jason share a bday, so he always comes to the manor to see him, even if he’s currently a villain

- ex theater kid lmao

- absolutely wears reading glasses, not many people know that

- swears in a variety of languages thanks to the loa

- some blend of adhd/autism but he’s so entrenched in masking that he really doesn’t know anymore

- any pronouns, doesn’t care about labels

- some kind of (south american?) mixed race, no one’s quite sure what (including himself)

- Bday: aug 16 1997 (technically gen-z)

- age: 23

- 6’1

Timothy Drake

- ex robin, now red robin

- helps run Wayne Ind.

- owns Red Robin restaurant chain

- sleep-deprived coffee-addict

- seriously someone please get this kid to a bed before he passes out standing up again.

- autistic

- he/him non-binary, bi

- pale ass white thing

- Bday: july 19 2003

- age: 17

- 5’5 (max 5’6)

Stephanie Brown

- cluemaster’s daughter- became Spoiler to fight him

- ex robin (brief)

- bounces between various coffee shop jobs before getting a job in a nice restaurant and eventually rising to be top of waitstaff

- loves purple

- ADHD magpie

- she/xe but really any pronouns, lesbian

- white

- Bday: aug 11 2002

- age: 18

- 6’0

Cassandra Cain

- used to be Orphan, then batgirl for a hot minute, now she’s Black Bat

- daughter of cain (the batman villain, not the biblical figure. looking at you, spn)

- trained to be an assassin from a young age

- designer for Wayne Ind.

- mute cause her dad fucked up her vocal cords, but she was mostly nonverbal before that anyway

- badass and yet adorable

- adhd/autistic

- she/they/it, demi lesbian

- chinese (region is up for interpretation)

- Bday: Jan 26, 2003

- age: 17

- 5’4

Damian Wayne

- robin

- bruce’s only bio son (talia r*ped him)

- bruce does make him go to school, but lets him choose between private and public (he chooses private to keep up appearances)

- i feel like he’d be a librarian eventually

- raised traditional european/middle eastern until he was ten, is very proper and very stabby

- also has earlobe piercings from early childhood

- plays violin cuz i said so

- very very autistic but refuses to acknowledge it for a while (would have been diagnosed with asperger’s in the past)

- he/they, agender, demi and gay

- spanish/middle eastern blend (unclear what exactly, Ra’s’ original country probably doesn’t even exist anymore)

- bday: jan 5, 2007

- age: 13

- 5’1 (max 5’10)

Duke Thomas

- The Signal

- has powers from a genetic variation

- moves through light and shadow

- a cinnamon roll

- he patrols during the day so he and the rest don’t interact much at home but he’s always welcome in the manor

- audhd

- he/she (still a boy)

- black

- bday: aug 13, 2001

- age: 19

- 5’10

Harley Quinn

- went to med school with bruce! since figuring that out they’ve actually been close

- such a fuckin mess of mental illnesses lmao

- doesn’t remember her original race, now her skin is just sheer white

- bday: july 20, 1982

- age: 38

- 5’5 ish

Ivy (Pamela)

- she’s shy so she doesn’t actually show up much but she’s still part of the family

- she grows the weed, harley sells it

- race? she’s green and an orphan, idk what to tell you

- intense social anxiety and rejection-sensitivity

- bday: may 14, 1979

- age: 41

- 5’8

Bonus

- Kate

- Harper

- Selina? on occasion ig

Pets

- Ace the bathound (B’s)

- Titus the greyhound (Dami’s)

- Batcow (Dami’s)

- Alfred the cat (Dami’s)

- Goliath (Dami’s)

- Steve the samoyed (Dami’s)

- Goldy the goldfish (Steph’s)

- Jason Jr. the frog (Jason’s)

- Lacey the orange tabby cat (Dick’s)

- Edwardina and family, the ducks that now live in the pond in the garden (Dami+Alfred’s)

- William Snakespeare (Dami+Jason’s)

[unfortunatesal]

Failgirls don't have to fail

I've been thinking about failgirls a lot recently, becuase god I love them so much, and I've also had discussions about them, very heated ones in fact, and I've come to a few thoughts!

(Spoilers for Chainsaw Man and I guess Madoka)

So, a few points:

Failgirls do not need to fail to be failgirls. Being a failgirl is more about the mindset and attitude than anything, to me. I feel like Misato from Evangelion is definitely a failgirl, she is a disaster of a huma being bit she is very successful! Still a failgirl though! And Homura Akemi fails over and over and over again, but I still don't think she qualifies as a failgirl. This isn't super intuitive though, so I want to ask this:

What is a failgirl? Okay, so people might disagree with me on this and that's valid! We don't all have the same conception of what a failgirl is, and cultural osmosis can't do all the work for us. But the best way I can describe it is a girl who is openly and clearly a disaster. Be it someone who is an anxious, blubbering, terrified mess, like Kobeni from Chainsaw Man, someone who makes absolutely terrible life choices like Himeno from Chainsaw Man, or someone who is incapable of interacting with others properly like Asa from Chainsaw Man, a failgirl must be a complete and utter mess of a human being who is doomed to never get better, either because they don't want to or becuse they simply can. The important nuance being the word "openly". As such:

Someone cannot be a failgirl if they hide their failgirlness. This is important, I feel. Yes, Homura Akemi does make bad life choices, and struggles to interact with people, but she acts aloof enough to disguise it in most cases. In order for someone to be a fairlgirl, they must be seen and recognized failgirling. They must trip over themselves, they must get so wasted they start throwing up, they must clearly and openly show the world how much of a complete trainwreck of a human being they are. Someone who hides and buries and represses their innter failgirl is not truly a failgirl, in my eyes. And all of this brings me to my next point:

Being a failgirl isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being a failgirl can be healthy! Because being a failgirl means being unable to hide your inner feelings, it means being unable to repress how deeply mentally ill you are. And... that's good! I, personally, would rather be a Kobeni than a Homura, because while Kobeni is a complete trainwreck of a person with a lot of trauma and anxiety, she lets it all out. Homura lets the trauma and anxiety pile up until it fucking explodes inside of her, which seems a lot worse to me. Kobeni's inability to hide how she feels is a blessing in disguise, and while Kobeni is probably not the best example of a well-adjusted person, letting yourself fail, letting yourself be pathetic, lettng yourself trip and fall and fuck up and make terrible choices is good for your mental health! That's why I think the world needs more failgirls who are alloqwed and allow themselves to be failgirls.

[primeministerofantarctica]

A3! reading club: prologue

Starting off with a prolepsis is a nice technique, although I think it's interesting that only Harugumi gets spotlighted here. Probably to avoid spoilers from later troupes.... Either way, I love how Sakuya's observations serve as an introduction to the other members. Masumi's cool-headed, Tsuzuru won't rest until his scripts are perfect, Itaru's anxious about pulling this off successfully (he does care :')), and Citron's a man of mystery.

I never really thought about this before, but I like that the prologue establishes that Izumi has the experience and knowledge necessary to qualify as a theater director. She's not just diving in headfirst with no idea what she's doing.

Also, this whole "street act" thing sends me every time it's mentioned. Veludo Way has to be a tourist destination, surely Izumi's not the first person to freak out over someone faking an illness. You know those horror stories about comedians dying of heart attacks on-stage bc the audience thought they were doing A Bit; this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. What if you got into an argument with someone and a bunch of strangers started clapping.

At least Tasuku's nice enough to come over and make sure Izumi's alright. He's not going to be really relevant for a good long while, but we're already establishing that he does care about other people, despite Godza's "every man for himself" culture.

Oh, Tsuzuru, just be glad you're not a college student in the US. >_>

Sakyo, you JUST recognized the first and only person you had a crush on, the daughter of Yukio himself, and you're telling her to get lost? Why? Are you trying to save Izumi from the heartbreak of caring about something futile? Because if so, you absolutely suck at it.

Izumi's reactions are the best. Also, shout-out to Sakai-san for being able to pull off "bad at acting" without dissolving into the 100% flat monotone typical when actors try to play bad actors. You can tell Sakuya's trying, but his pauses are placed just randomly enough to be awkward. From an acting standpoint, that's got to be incredibly hard to pull off.

This makes me wince. In retrospect, it's so obvious how much Sakyo cares about this theater. He was willing to pause the demolition project for the absolutely miniscule chance that Matsukawa had somehow, miraculously, secured a bestselling performance. Of course he hasn't, but the fact that Sakyo was still willing to give him one more chance speaks volumes.

Unfortunately, he's also a realist, and he's right. People love touting "hard work" as the only thing an artist needs to succeed, but without money, most people simply don't have the financial stability to really dedicate themselves to their craft. It's harsh, it sucks, and it's unfair, but it's also true. I don't remember if we get Sakyo's backstory in the main story or a later event, but going off it it makes sense that this is the additude he's adopted.

This hits harder after finding out Sakuya basically ran away from home :(. Not like he couldn't go back to his aunt and uncle, but that's got to be crushing.

I love how Izumi is mentally pspspsing Matsukawa SO HARD to back her up, just like he did with her earlier. There is a single braincell ping-ponging between these two and Sakyo's just watching this trainwreck.

Sakuya's reaction to Matsukawa saying he cooks all the food is gold. Ofc he's too polite to say it outright, but the fact that even Sakuya feels the need to warn Izumi about Matsukawa's culinary skills is just. So funny.

Speaking of which, I think it's interesting how Sakuya's (known optimist and sunshine child) first reaction to realizing Izumi was lying is a despondent "Does that mean the troupe is going under after all?" He immediately cheers up and snatches the smidge of hope offered to him, but this little piece of character writing goes a long way in setting up his hopefulness as something that isn't based on naivety.

I'm running out of screenshots and too far in to consider making another post, but gosh. Masumi, I love you, but you are making it REALLY easy to remember why I didn't at first. I will concede that his blushing and not being able to look Izumi in the eyes is cute, though. If there was more of that and less of...this, I might have warmed up to him a lot earlier.

Also, Tsuzuru agreeing to join after finding out there's free food is an absolute Mood. Five minutes of screen time and he's already a voice for college students everywhere.

The last few minutes are pretty much what we'd expect - Tsuzuru (very conveniently) says he's a scriptwriter, Izumi eagerly accepts the free labor before he can join a union (I'm joking, I'm joking.), they run back to the theater and Sakyo says he'll give them one more chance. The conditions won't be revealed until the next chapter, but it really is a testament to Sakyo's love for Mankai just how lenient he's being. A month might be cutting it pretty close when prepping for a play, but Sakyo's a debt broker in the freaking Yakuza, and almost definitely acting as a middleman between this company and someone higher up. Ofc the Yakuza here are a lot more lighthearted than the ones in real life, but that's still got to be incredibly risky.

[merrilark]

Ik I've already said it but, MAN, biographies are hard. I picked up a Steve McQueen bio again, hope to finish before the year is up, and it's just so hard to keep reading because it's so sad, and it's not even trying to be.

I've loved McQueen's shows and films for years. He's definitely a nostalgic figure for me, since I used to watch Wanted: Dead or Alive all the time with my dad and grandpa when I was a kid. I have an undeniable soft spot for him despite the fact that now, as an adult, I fully acknowledge he was a classic old Hollywood asshole. Serial infidelity, abuse, exploding with toxic masculinity and ego that made him a terror on and off set, selfishness, always wanting to be the best in the room, etc. etc. As far as bad behavior goes, he's really nothing new in Hollywood where having an inflated ego seems to be a prerequisite for actors and directors alike, but it is understandably disappointing from the POV of someone who has loved his work since childhood. Don't meet research your heroes, yada yada.

But—and absolutely this is not excusing him—he makes me so sad. He was dealt a bad hand from the start with a father who walked out and a mother who he loved but never showed him real affection and carelessly exposed him to all kinds of abuse at her own hands and at the hands of her boyfriends. I won't get all into it, but the things this guy went through at such a young age and recalls with such flippancy or even pride is insane. He grew from a troubled, lost kid into a troubled, angry, lost man who found it almost impossible to trust anyone, burning down relationships and hurting others seemingly before he could be hurt himself. There are so many quotes from people who knew him best, especially his first wife, that strongly point to serious mental health problems and trauma that simply were not or could not have been properly addressed in the '30s-'80s. Mix it all up with a hefty dose of toxic masculinity and stigmas around mental illness and you have a cocktail for disaster. It's really no wonder he was the way he was; he didn't have the proper tools to manage his mental health and even if he did, he couldn't have because that would have ruined his career and image (how dare men feel things!).

He wasn't a very good man, but I feel for him. His life was a short rollercoaster of tragedy from the day he was born to the day he died at 50, and reads like one long scream for help that no one seemed to notice or look at too closely, including McQueen himself.

[rmwb-fanfics]

Hi! We've had a list about the men in RU, but I wonder, what would you rate the women in RU in terms of shagability? You can choose your own point system 😘

OKAYYYYYY you’d have to be insane to think I’m going to-

So for this to work we’re going to assume everyone is of age so this takes place around the halfway/two thirds point of Regretfully Uncaring.

Ginny Weasley: 11/10. She isn’t too tall she’s probably open to try some weird shit and if it goes south she’ll laugh about it. Lots of trauma especially with black haired men but hey you know what a little (a lot) bit of mental illness never hurt no body.

Daphne Greengrass: 8/10 she’s a little pretentious and probably really submissive idk haven’t decided yet but with a MAN LIKE RON-

Tonks: she’s into some weird shit I mean look at her. 9/10, her body can change to make things work better or worse fuck yeah.

Molly: nope but for the sake of science I mean her daughter is hot so 7/10 points taken off for age. No offence to the milfs out there actually hang on wait I know some really hot moms okay give me a second 9/10 yeah.

Elizabeth: 8/10 she’s tall and auwhrnfiaybrf but absolutely stunning just not my type.

Narcissa: 9/10 her husband been letting her down recently she hasn’t had sex in over a year and she KNOWS WHAT SHES DOING MILF LEARNING EXPERIENCE MILF LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

Hermione: 2/10 the personality is fuck ugly it AINT GOING UP.

Alyssa: Batshit crazy so probably good in bed 7/10 has a child sort of an awkward situation with the whole widow thing yk.

Lily Evans: mommy? Mommy. 10/10

Lily Luna: 2026 will be my year uhhhh 12/10 a bi disaster and plays the guitar um yes please.

Luna: dies but saying she made it to 18 she’s just so weird and I feel like her eyes would stay open the whole time and like bore into your soul yeah no thanks 4/10

Pansy Parkinson: would give toothy head and looks like a pug which is the ugliest and unholiest dog breed so 2/10.

Merope Gaunt: catfish her and then lure her into therapy and pay for it in secret while you walk away. I ain’t touching that shit girl needs help. 0/10

Bellatrix: probably into blood and uhhh yeah no I’m good, thanks though! 2/10

Leta Lestrange: 10/10 wouldn’t hesitate not even for a minute and like let’s be so for real she probably has such low expectations for men in her life that I would be the absolute best (except for Newt and daddy Theseus who are both better but like in the context of okay anyway)

Queenie: no. 2/10 im terrified

Tina: 7/10 a better hermione.

Fleur: almost forgot about the perfect babe herself. French? POINTS. Tall in a hot way? POINTS. Married Bill Weasley and therefore has excellent taste in men? POINTS. 10/10 shes thé offspring of the most beautiful creatures to walk the earth what did you expect.

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: The Words of Kings and Prophets (Gael Song #2) Author: Shauna Lawless Genre/s: historical, fantasy, mythology and folklore Content/Trigger Warning/s: slavery, physical and emotional abuse, murder, death, depictions of mental illness Summary (from author's website): The sequel to the critically acclaimed The Children of Gods and Fighting Men, The Words of Kings and Prophets is the powerful new historical fantasy novel by Shauna Lawless. Power fades but fire endures… Ireland, 1000 AD. Clouds of war gather for mortals and immortals alike as the Irish kingdoms strive for supremacy. Gormflaith, unhappy queen of Brian Boru, schemes to destroy the Descendants, sworn enemies of her Fomorian kind. As her plans take an unexpected turn, Gormflaith discovers her magic is more powerful than she ever realised – but at what cost? Descendant healer Fódla dwells disguised in the mortal world, seeking to protect her young nephew – but the boy has secrets of his own. Fódla must do all in her power to keep him hidden from those who would use him for evil. When a mysterious man comes to King Brian’s court, his presence could spell disaster for both Gormflaith and Fódla – and for Ireland herself. For he is Tomas, an ambitious immortal – and he will do anything to see his plans become reality. Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/words-of-kings-and-prophets-volume-2-shauna-lawless/19782163 Spoiler-Free Review: As a continuation of the first book, this functions perfectly well. It focuses a lot more on intrigue and developing the established characters, which makes for a somewhat less action-packed read but still entirely fun read, in my opinion. Reading how Gormflaith and Fódla develop was absolutely fun: Gormflaith still has more layers than Fódla, but Fódla experiences some solid character development in this book, which is where much of the fun reading her derives. We also get Colmon as a narrator in this one. In the last book he was a somewhat minor character, but this time around he gets narrator status and it looks like he’ll be developed into another protagonist for the third book. I look forward to it, not least because his perspective is so different from Fódla’s and Gormflaith’s. There was also an interesting dialogue in this book about oppressive systems, and how it can be hard to dismantle such systems when one is benefitting from them. It’s only a moment in the book, but it does address an element of the previous book (and the actual historical milieu in which this series is set) that I think other readers wanted the author to deal with a bit more explicitly. I can’t say for absolute certain if it was handled well, but I will say that it gave me food for thought, especially when thinking about that element in the context of the history of the period, and what certain characters then promised to do about it. I think that the main gripe I have about this is that it really feels like a transition book, moving characters so they’re in specific places (literally and metaphorically speaking) as preparation for a big finale or big change of events in the next book. This is just a small complaint though, as I liked the book regardless, but it’s definitely got that vibe. Overall, this was a solid continuation of the previous book. Characters grow in their own ways, and the plot continues to be a fun ride. I’m looking forward to seeing how Colmon steps up in the next book in the series (along with another character I won't mention because spoilers). Still, this does feel a lot like a book that’s meant to put particular characters in specific places in preparation for something big going down, so readers looking for something a little more action-packed might not be entirely happy with this one. Rating: five ships

[lovecanbesostrange]

*nasal voice* as an artist: movie ask 3! also 5 and 11 (bc I, too, love me some "problematic" tropes sometimes)

3. Post a screenshot and ramble on about why this one frame visually appeals to you (colors, blocking, expression, set decoration whatever).

omg this question is so hard. It could be random, like pick the last movie, take a screen, write. But I ended up clicking through dozens of films, watching a lot of fav moments. From Firth & Moore on the carpet in A Single Man, to Ken Watanabe standing in front of Godzilla in G:KotM, then the whole ending to Midsommar, had a quick cry about seeing the hanging shoes in Jojo Rabbit, looked at the way Amy returns in Gone Girl, that shot through the bars in Hustlers, or all the gorgeous bizarre shots that make up Annihilation, also I went through the whole of Fox' X-Men franchise, because I have so many moments I cherish (it is the best superhero franchise as a whole, even though the parts alone are mostly just mediocre, the sum of it is amazing)... then I was downstairs for a snack and a tv spot reminded me that Cruella exists, so I cave with this one:

You hear the name Cruella and what do you think about? Dalmatians and a black&white theme. With the fur she wants and the hair she has. And then this movie gives us a theme party. And it is very, very important that everything is strictly black and white only. It's a whole thing. Except Cruella has a plan and she's gonna be a distraction. She is disruption. She will make everybody look. With the color red. And I am here for it!

This moment was in all the trailers, you know it's coming. Yet while watching I'm always excited nearing this fabulous entrance. And it's not the effect of how she gets rid of her white coat with the flame, it's the absolute contrast to everything around her. Perfectly framed in... a door frame. An entrance for the ages. Introducing herself. Introducing the alter ego. The different persona. I am so here for that.

The whole film is about style. The visuals are gorgeous, the music filling the rest of the mood. This is what movies are for! Colored pictures in motion with sound - to invoke feelings. And here you know something big is happening. There is a stage set. It's all planned. In-story for the characters and for the viewers watching the screen.

There is nothing new or super groundbreaking. It's all about using well known tools in an effective way. And it tells us something about the character. Ella is used to being in the background, while dreaming about fashion she tries hard to not stand out (that would interfere with her little criminal endeavours and get unwanted attention for sure). But this is the birth of Cruella on the scene. Bold. Loud. Drawing all eyes on her. (And also startling people, because being a bit scary is fine.)

*chef's kiss* Sometimes a little bit of flair is all I need. Not even attached to any emotional outburst. Can we just applaud films for using the full spectrum of the medium for its own sake every once in a while, just to entertain?!

5. A character who deserves their own spin-off.

The very obvious, tumblr-friendly answer: Riley Johnson (Aubrey Plaza) from Happiest Season. Show me her life, show me she's good at her work and give me some fun disaster dates she goes on, trying to find somebody a bit more longterm. Witty, forgiving, a bit guarded and then opening up in a non tragic way. Hmm, sadly that's it. I don't even have fancasts for a row dates or anything. Just give me romcom fun with a dash of that specific Plaza-charme. (Not against reuniting her with Rachel Keller from Legion.)

11. A trope or setting you know is mishandled a lot and carries a huge problematic/toxic burden, yet you do enjoy it?

I am highly aware how terrible representation and portrayal of anything mental health/illness related films (and tv) overall are. Especially how most people are not knife wielding dangers to the general public. I am very much about treating people with dignity and respect, not judging but helping. I have seen/experienced things, I know reality.

However horror (next to sci-fi) is my fav genre. And you give me a movie that starts with "in a mental asylum", I'm in. Be it A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with teens thrown in a hospital (despite telling the truth and not self-harming) or Grave Encounters with supernatural shenanigans in a former bad place. I love M. Night Shyamalan's Split, because James McAvoy plays all those personalities so well. Nobody ever should think about that film when talking about actual disassociative identity disorder!

We need to have that conversation about demonizing mental illness. But yes, here I sit being audience for horror films using it as a gimmick (always glad when it leans into supernatural territory).

I am also absolutely the audience for films like Girl, Interrupted or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Both dvds are on the shelf. Great films. But sometimes I just want John Carpenter's The Ward or plain old Psycho. A film like The Babadook working with metaphors for deep dark soul dives isn't exactly an easy watch, so I'll take some "criminally insane" slashers as well.

[authormorganlawson]

— Welcome to Morgan Lawson's Tumblr Blog! ☆

My name is Morgan Lawson. I am an author and poet from Buffalo, NY. I have three different books in process right now, one of which is in the beta reading stage and the other two being in the brainstorming/loose drafting phase! Look for me on other socials and shoot me a message if you want to be friends!

And see below to learn more about my different projects!

THE STARS WANT BLOOD Book One: Fate

GENRE — Fantasy romance. STATUS — Being beta read! ABOUT — When Hazel Culhane slips away to the mountains for a much needed escape, their life is changed forever when it is brought to their attention that they're not just a hot mess of a mechanic but that they are actually a Constellite of Geminorum—a literal god. While grappling with their newfound divinity, they are faced with an even greater challenge yet: love, in the form of the Constellite of Virginis, Ezra Thompson. Fate has brought them together, but that same fate also intends to tear them to pieces. TROPE LIST — Friends to lovers to enemies to lovers, angst, yearning, soulmates, red string of fate, golden retriever x black cat, Scorpios are menaces, dark prophecies, fuck fate, lgbtqia+, only the most intimate of relationships/friendships in this house, astrology, loose interpretation of Greek mythos, chaotic gemini x anxious Virgo. CONTENT WARNINGS — Gore, violence, sexual content, mental illness, BDSM themes, blood, body horror, emotional trauma.

COSMOS RISING WIP Book One: Untitled

GENRE — Fantasy romance. STATUS — Brainstorming, loosely drafting. ABOUT — When esteemed dragonslayer Izrena Dewmane bites off more than she can chew and makes a mistake that should cost her her life, dragon prince Rolinas Cosmashiels III decides to make an example of her, the example being that mortals and dragonkin can coexist peacefully. Now forced to live in a castle of scaled beasts, Izrena learns that maybe he's right, and maybe they aren't so bad. Maybe, actually, they're worse. TROPE LIST — Sun x moon lovers, dragon prince brothers, enemies ➝ friends ➝ lovers ➝ enemies/your brother be lookin' kind of cute tho', she's hot and she has an axe, world's cutest gay necromancer villain, medieval vibes, bisexual disasters, found family, mental illness recovery, morally gray characters, lgbtqia+, forced proximity, anger, recovery. CONTENT WARNINGS — Violence, sexual assault (off page/historical), explicit sexual content (on page), gore, body horror, war, emotional trauma.

PHANTOMS OF WINTER

GENRE — Paranormal romance. STATUS — Brainstorming, loosely drafting. ABOUT — When Aella Lewis, girl turned ghost, finds herself trapped in her childhood home she finds that maybe being dead is actually worse than living. And as if being a stuck phantom isn't bad enough, she finds herself trapped with Kharon, Hades' esteemed ferryman and an absolute bastard of a man. A tale of healing, unexpected friendships, and love. TROPE LIST — Loose interpretation of Greek mythos, enemies to lovers, moon x mars lovers, black cat x even more feral black cat lovers, angst, smut, bisexual disasters, found family, mental illness recovery, morally gray characters, lgbtqia+, forced proximity, ghosts, anger, recovery. CONTENT WARNINGS — Unfiltered depiction of mental illness, suicide, suicidal ideation, mention off of-page self-harm, drug use/abuse, explicit (consensual) sex, emotional trauma, BDSM themes.

[deathkeen]

(claire, 24, gmt, she/her) welcome to london, PETER PARKER! did anyone ever tell you that you look just like CHARLIE ROWE? well, no matter, we hear that you are 23 and working as a GRAD STUDENT. we also hear that you currently DON’T HAVE your memories from MARVEL COMICS (616) and have a tendency to be ALTRUISTIC as well as RECKLESS.

statistics

full name : peter benjamin parker 

nickname/s : pete (spider-man) ; petey, tiger, spidey

relatives : may parker (aunt), ben parker (uncle, deceased), richard parker (father, deceased), mary parker (mother, deceased) 

age : 23

dob : october 14, 1999

star sign : libra

pronouns : he/him

sexuality : bisexual

mbti : infp

memory status: no memories (!)

background

i’m drawing peter from the comics, probably mainly ca the coffee gang era TM (like. early 80s. lol. we roll with it.). he’s pretty different from the movie versions! absolute disaster, absolute menace, absolute asshole, absolute self-loathing, etc etc i can rant about this for ages

he’s currently a graduate student at imperial college london! after completing his undergrad in new york, he secured funding to get a phd and work with dr curt connors on..... idk something sciencey (he thinks)

he hates london. i’m sorry. it’s not new york. this is a Big Deal. he’s awful.

pete remembers the basic outline of his early life: his parents died when he was young; he was raised by his aunt may and uncle ben in queens; ben died in a robbery when he was a teenager; he and may had to stick together in the wake of it. he doesn’t remember anything about becoming spider-man. as far as he knows, he’s just a guy, you know? a scientist. a bit of a mess, but not nearly as bad as it could be.

this means he has no memory of powers, of knowing he could have saved ben, of losing gwen, of anything that’s happened since! he knows he’s a little stronger than he should be given how little he works out, but that’s about it? 

he is, by peter parker standards, surprisingly well-adjusted and ok! wow! an absolute miracle! would be such a horrible shame if he got back his memories and absolutely ruined that wouldn’t it!

etc

i am extremely passionate about jewish peter parker–he’s not especially observant, but it’s culturally very important to his identity

peter also deals with pretty extensive trauma, mental illness, and anger issues, but copes with it all through bad jokes and punching criminals – i am fascinated by 616 peter’s generally unhinged menacing aura; he’s a good person, but he’s not a particularly nice person; he’s incredibly smart and often arrogant and standoffish and quick to anger, but he tries really, really hard to do better

[sloshed-cinema]

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

If a genie granted me three wishes, I would ask for a satisfying and comfortable life, to be able to speak and understand all languages, and for the entirety of the 2000s indie Sundance-bait dramedy canon to be deleted from existence. The final wish being my most important. The public dialogue about anything from mental illness to queerness to feminism to whatever was a far cry from where it is now, and even today it isn’t perfect. But any way you slice it, Lars and the Real Girl is an absolute and complete disaster of a film pretending to be a heartwarming take on emotional development. Films and storytelling at large can absolutely use “heightened” elements or even the dreaded magic realism to convey ideas or lessons through abstract means. But when a film like this uses something so grounded and basic as a sex doll and then grafts an entire ethos onto it, it needs to be held to a different standard. That Lars gets Bianca as a mechanism to deal with his trauma, a needed process, in and of itself is fine in its own right. Except for the fact that it’s borne of shaming: Lars’ relationship status is constantly questioned in the opening scenes of the film in a way which connects being alone or solo or single to being unworthy. To not have a heterosexual relationship is to be ill. Later, when the town—reluctantly to some degrees, and then with increasing fervor—buys into his gamut, there’s the sense that, okay, he’s on the right path back to being a productive breeding member of society, so let’s help him along. Even if this is a fine metaphor, and it does have its wholesome moments where people help this man to understand that grieving is a normal thing and that we all try to support one another, the corollary becomes a problem. If Bianca is to be treated as a real person, what the fuck is wrong with Lars? HE KILLS HER. Do women have to die for Lars to realize that he can move on? What the fuck is with this movie’s mixed messages? Yes, this is pedantic, but if the movie is going to deal in some poorly executed heavy handed near-metaphor, it might as well think through the various ways it could be interpreted. I’m just so sick and tired of these mopey non-stories that play simultaneously Six Degrees of Separation from the Duplass Brothers and some tinkly DeVotchKa bullshit soundtrack.

The moment when Lars throws away the flower he’s given feels like a rough draft for Ken. Even back here there was another side to that actor than the steely-eyed killer he portrays in Nic Winding Refn films.

THE RULES

SIP

Tinkly indie piano music starts to play.

Someone pressures Lars about his relationship.

Emily Mortimer's accent slips.

Gus is an asshole.

BIG DRINK

Ryan Gosling does dress rehearsal for Ken.

Dr Bergman touches Lars.

Bear drama.