#the Places You’ll Go
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inbarfink · 10 months ago
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icaruspendragon · 10 months ago
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what is friendship if not being absolutely foul with one another?
(original video can be found here)
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flowercrowngods · 1 year ago
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felt like letting mike and steve work through some shit again
cw: descriptions and imagery of them being lost and self-sacrificing, left alone with trauma they have no means to work through, could read as suicidal tendencies or intrusive thoughts
🤍 also on ao3
“What do you want?” Mike asks when Steve sits down beside him, gravel crunching, their feet dangling over the dark and endless abyss that is the quarry at night.
Steve doesn’t answer right away, doesn’t really know what to say now that he’s here, now that he found him. He looks so small, now more than ever, and it reminds Steve so painfully that he’s still just a child. He was always just a child, and children shouldn’t—
It feels like they got their rights at a childhood revoked years ago, and then they were just… supposed to be okay with it. It was expected, it was implied when nobody came to talk to them after.
When all they got was one NDA after another. When none of the professionally trained adults took one look at the children that they were, and asked, Are you okay? What do you need to be okay? I will talk to you once a week and make sure you learn how to be okay again.
Steve feels like a big brother to most of the kids now, sure, but he’s not their shrink, and he sucks when it comes to actually talking about shit. He can be there to drive them anywhere, can provide an evening of distractions and as much of a sanctuary as a house as haunted as his can be.
With everything else, though, he’s helplessly lost. So he says nothing, weighs his words to make sure they come out right — especially for Mike, who’s always just waiting for him to say something wrong and throw it back in his face with the sunny disposition of a feral, rabid cat.
“Hey,” Mike says then, irritated again; but his voice is hoarse, too. Tired. No heat behind it after that stupid fight with Dustin and Lucas earlier tonight that made him snap and leave Steve’s house in a frenzy. “I said, What do you want?”
Steve shrugs, looking ahead into the darkness that feels endless and alluring and deeply terrifying.
I miss my friend! My best friend, Mike!
“Making sure you’re okay.”
You’ve changed, you know that? You’re not the guy who would jump off a cliff for me anymore, I don’t think I even know you anymore!
Dustin’s voice echoes in Steve’s mind as it undoubtedly does in Mike’s, too, and he can only imagine how much that hurts, especially if he’s shivering like that even though the night is warm for early September.
“I’m okay,” Mike says, sounding endlessly annoyed about the fact. Steve almost huffs out a humourless laugh. Yeah, right.
“Sure you are,” Steve says, keeping his tone carefully neutral.
He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over Mike’s shoulders without a comment, half-expecting him to just throw it into the darkness below. But Mike doesn’t move, is eerily still beside him, pretending not to notice that Steve’s watching him.
“But you know it’s, like,” he starts again and trails off, looking for the right words because this is unfamiliar terrain and the ground beneath his feet is quite literally nonexistent. “It’s fine if you’re not, right? It’s actually really fucking normal to be more than a little fucked up after everything, all that crazy shit. Or just… in general.”
You were twelve, he wants to say. You were twelve and you jumped off from here. You were twelve and you were going to die. And not because of those monsters, not yet. Just because… you were twelve.
Mike doesn’t say anything, but the gravel crunches once more as he reaches for a handful of stones to throw them into the darkness one by one, the void beneath them so enormous that they don’t even hear the noise of impact.
You jumped.
The longer Mike remains silent, the more Steve wants to scream, wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, wants to make him see and understand that Steve knows about the scars a decision like that leaves, especially when you live to deal with the consequences.
He gets seizures to deal with the consequences. His ear is fucky, his eye is twitchy, his head is aching constantly, he gets migraines that knock him out for a day or two, all because he wanted to protect his friends. All because he did protect his friends. It worked. They’re safe.
But they’re also unaware of… of everything. Of the horrible stillness as clarity dawns and all signs point to the one way that always seems to work. The one easy way out, and still the hardest of them all when the plan goes wrong and he makes it out alive. When It’s gotta be me is the only thing to say, but later turns into an angry It never should have been me because the world looks different when it’s smeared with your blood.
And it’s always the lost boys who make decisions like that. Steve wonders, some nights in cold sweat, what happens if he makes these decisions without immediate danger. What happens if he just… decides to jump. Decides to run. To give the world more of his blood. Without saving anyone.
It’s not like he wants to — but he’s terrified that it’s just who he is. Who he’s turned into, terrified that his friends will forever expect him to.
And he’s even more terrified knowing that Mike jumped before he learned about monsters. Before he learned about fighting and surviving.
You were a kid, he wants to say again, but his throat is closing up on him.
“I don’t think that’s okay actually,” Mike says after a while, tearing Steve away from his fears. They’re still both looking ahead rather than at each other, but it’s fine. They’re still here. “Like, people say it is, but it feels so empty when they do, you know? Like, sure, yeah, I’m not fucking okay, but what the hell do we do about that now? Oh, right, I know! Let’s throw it in my face that I’m not good enough for you anymore now that there’s no monsters to kill anymore. Now that I’m just Mike, who’s not even enough to be that anymore, sure. Right. Yeah. Let’s pretend it’s all fine, Steve, let’s pretend it’s okay to hurt all the fucking time!”
Mike is shaking now, violent tremors running through his body, and Steve’s first instinct is to reach out and pull him close, to keep him from that edge and take him to his car; turn on the heating and talk there. But Mike seems to need the darkness, seems to need to be faced with endless depth to give voice to his thoughts.
“What Dustin said was messed up. He shouldn’t have said that.”
Mike shrugs, throwing more pebbles into the darkness, though his motions have lost their vigour. “He’s right, though.”
Steve sighs, though not unkindly. “No, he’s not. Hey, listen to me.” He waits until Mike turns to meet his eyes, and he leans forward. “It’s not okay. It’s not right what he said. You don’t deserve to have that shit thrown in your face just because Dustin is a tactless little douche bag.”
Taking a bullet for someone is not the baseline for friendship, he wants to say, and it occurs to him once again how fucked up their perception and idea of friendship must be, now that they’ve all bonded over the most horrific shit and actual grief they never learned how to work through.
It’s not even Dustin’s fault, not really. They’re all just collateral damage to something Bigger, and all they have is each other, leaving them in a vicious cycle that is so, so fucked up.
“Why’d you jump?” he asks eventually, quiet in case the darkness tries to listen in. “Back then, why did you jump?” And do you wish El had let you? Do you sometimes wish that? When your room is quiet and it’s only you living with all those silent, terrible decisions?
Mike shrugs again, but there’s not much fight left in him, Steve can see that, can feel it in the air between them.
“Will was gone,” he says like it explains everything— and it sort of does. Steve has seen the way these boys look at each other when the other’s not looking, he has seen the hurt and the anger and the gentleness stored there, the words unspoken and the fear that, despite interdimensional monsters, kinda goes unmatched.
Because they have each other. They only have each other. And if someone’s suddenly different than what they thought they knew, if someone’s suddenly different, then… Everything might just fall apart.
And Steve wants to grab him again; wants to pull him close and say, I’m the same. We have the same scars. We have the same!
Slowly, carefully, he does lean over now, weaving an arm around Mike’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.
“I get that.”
Mike swallows heavily and exhales shakily. “I don’t think you do.”
“No. I think I really, really do. But it’s okay, Mike. You won’t be alone with this, okay. I’m on your side, you little shit.”
A pause, a beat, a moment’s respite. Then, “Why?”
“Because,” his heart is racing, his mouth trembling around forming the words for the first time, but he knows it’s the right thing to do. Knows it’s important.
Knows it might just save a life.
“Because I fell harder for Eddie Munson than I ever thought possible, and once i found out what was happening, I kind of wanted to jump off a cliff, too. But I didn’t, because I had someone with the same fears as me, and instead of stupid shit we just… Cried together sometimes. Screamed into our pillows. Laughed with and at each other, calling ourselves hopeless, and— I don’t know. It’s really fucking scary, and that doesn’t go away just because you have someone to talk to. But it‘s… better. It’s so much better.”
He huffs, swallowing around the lump in his throat, smiling into the darkness.
“So I’ve got you, okay? Whatever it is, whatever makes you feel like it’s not fucking okay, I’ve got you. You come to me, yeah? Lucas does, Dustin does, even Max does. This is your official, standing invitation and whatever, okay, dickhead?”
Mike shoves at him lightly, still not parting from the rather awkward side-hug they’ve got going on, and Steve is glad for it.
“Okay, okay, geez,” the little shithead says, rolling his eyes which Steve can see even in the dark, and it feels like the edge has moved away from them, like they have solid ground beneath their feet again.
Steve doesn’t say anything more after that, just waiting for Mike to stir to lead him back to the car, load in his bike and take him wherever he feels like spending the night.
But Mike doesn’t move for another long while, and it makes Steve feel like something big has just happened between them. Like they finally have found the common ground that Steve’s been suspecting they had for months now, even years.
Eventually, as they make their way to the car and Mike goes to grab his bike, he speaks up again, but more subdued now.
“Hey, Steve?”
“Hmm?”
“Does… Does Eddie know?”
“About what?” My tendencies to take a leap off the edge?
“You. Being…”
“Oh!” A smile as he unlocks his car and opens the back door to squeeze Mike’s old bike in there with minimal smears of dirt. “I’d hope so, we’ve been dating for months.”
“You’re dating?! You? Eddie’s dating you?”
“Yeah, listen, do you want me to just leave you here or would you rather be thrown out in the middle of nowhere?”
Mike grumbles something unintelligible as he climbs into the front seat, waiting for Steve to start the engine before he speaks up again.
“It’s just, you’re so… How did you even do that?”
Steve laughs at that, disbelieving and all, because, “Trust me, I have no idea. Must have been the ol’ Harrington charm and all that.”
Mike rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest, sinking lower in the seats to pout. “You’re so lame.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over how much I have a boyfriend and you don’t.”
If his heart skips a beat because it still feels like a forbidden truth saying the word out loud despite the playful banter, then he’s ignoring that in favour of revving the engine.
“Asshole.”
“Dickhead.”
“Grow up,” Mike says, but Steve can see the smile he’s not even trying to hide, and he mirrors it with his own as he turns on the radio catching the final tunes of Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark.
They’re not okay, none of them. But the car is warm, the cliff’s edge is behind them, and they’re not listening to the same ten songs anymore.
They’re getting better, step by tiny step.
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roseytoesy · 3 months ago
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since I’ve noticed a bunch of negative energy on tumblr lately ima post something sweet.
I found the love of my life because of vore. I like vore because of the way it comforted me during times when I felt so alone in my own head. That online sonas and stories I would insert myself into and daydream about being so wanted that I’d be devoured and held on all sides. So cared for and loved and appreciated.
vore can be whatever we want and so can our tumblr experience. Let’s keep making things despite the drama. If people wanna whine let them. Just ignore and move on. They will shut up eventually.
I love this community despite the ups and downs. Maybe one day I’ll draw shitty little stick figures or rough outlines of vore on my phone to share and try and make someone laugh.
just keep going. That’s how we win
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emberglowfox · 8 months ago
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faceless day (post-canon)
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moonshadoes · 2 days ago
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“you have so much to do, and i have nothing ahead of me” but it’s remus to sirius after they leave school
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bi-and-bewildered · 6 months ago
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gifing every episode of 9-1-1: season 2, episode 3 “Help Is Not Coming”
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paper-starz · 1 year ago
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TOMORROW TOMORROW I LOVE YOU TOMORROW YOURE ALWAYS A DAY AWAYYYYYYYYY
GUYS GUYS ITS COMING OUT TOMORROW
ITS ONLY A DAY AWAY
TOMORROW
THE WEBSITE WILL UPDATE
TOMORROW
Can you believe it guys?
The update! TOMORROW
The update’s coming tomorrow!!
WOOHOO
I AM SO HAPPY WITH THIS INFORMATION
The updates coming tomorrow, oh wow
Can you believe it? The update??? Tomorrow??
It got here so fast
The update!! TOMOR—
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velvetjune · 7 months ago
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the fbc doesn’t appreciate ahti like I do
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stellewriites · 22 days ago
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watching the invitation and i have to giggle when she’s doing her ceramics
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coconut530 · 6 months ago
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WHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!?!
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#OMG NEVERMORE’S FIRST SEASON IS COMPLETE#WHAT A CRAZY FEELING MARCH 3 2022 ME COULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT THIS IS WHERE WE’D BE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS#BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#FIRST OFF THANK YOU RED N’ FLYNN FOR YOUR WONDERFUL WORK THIS SEASON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED ALL OF IT#OK EPISODE UHHHH DOLLY AND POPPET ARE STILL CUTE AND BADASS#POPPET YOU LEFT HER ALL ALONE SHE CALLED YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE#OOOOOOHHHHHH POPPET’S MAGIC PRETTY ALL THE MAGIC IN THIS SERIES PRETTYYYYYYY#PROSPERO LOOKS SO PRETTY IN HIS PAJAMAS IDKKKK WHYYYYYY LOVE THE SHIRT#SORRY MONTY YOU CAN’T RUN#WASSUP WILL LOOK AT THE BOOOOOIIIIISSSSSSSS#POPPET’S SPEECH LOOKED SO COOL#OOOOHHHHHH THEY’RE ALL SO SCAREDDDDD#LENORE BROKE MY HEART THIS EPISODE OMG LIKE WHEN THEY WERE HOLDING HER BACK AND SHE’S LIKE “NO!”#“DON’T MAKE ME SIT IDLY BY WHILE IT KILLS THE ONES I LOVE. LET ME GO. PLEASE.” HURRRRTTTTTSSSSS MEEEEEEEEEEEE I’M DYYYYYIIIINNNNGGGGG#JUST NEEDS HER WIFE THEN EVERYTHING’S FINE Y’ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND#WHY IS MANIFESTING IN FRONT OF IT SO BAD I WANT TO KNOW#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GET AWAY FROM HEEEERRRRRRRR STAGGGG#OHHHH THE DETAILS AND SHADING ON THAT LAST PANEL MMMMMMMMMMMMM DELICIOUS#THANK YOU SO MUCH RNF FOR BOTH YOUR SERIES THEY’RE THE LIGHTS OF MY LIFE WHEN THEY’RE GOING#TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED FOR S2 GET SOME REST#WE’LL BE HERE :))))#THANKS TO YOU GUYS FOR READING MY UNHINGED TAGS EVERY WEEK HOPE YOU’LL STICK AROUND FOR MORE OF ME AND MY THINGS#YAYYYYYYYYYYY NEVERMORE SEASON 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month ago
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Now Miss Nina...THOSE TAGS
i said what i said!
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ALSO: i think he said "I-I Lo--" before he passed out </3
#yeah…yeah#whats a fanfic without a homoerotic fatal wounding right#also i am a richard siken gay#he is my favorite poet i model my image after him#jk is so there is a niche in his chest#where a heart could fit perfectly#and he thinks if he could just manuever one into place#Well Then#GAME OVER.#but no i know it was BRUTAL#LIKE RAVENSTAN JUST CAPPING SOMEONE#jk smirking w blood in his teeth litrally Dying like#that was a little sexy of u saint stan ;) xxx#rs like shut up shut up SHUT UP I HATE YOU I HATE YOU#I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU U STUPID FKN MAN#like I Cannot Do This Without You DO YOU UNDERSTAND#like you did it once and you’ll do it again baby#Suck It Up Sweetheart ;) xx ;-;#lol branch in my eye#also jk being a clown while being mortally wounded is my fav content bc hes trying to make rs laugh bc he knows#if he doesnt hes going to have a panic attack and not be able to breathe bc he is freaking asthma boy and never has his shit#so he is like fkn flatlinin and in SO MUCH PAIN but hes acting up but hes trying to distract stan so he doesnt hyperventilate :(#and he does the same thing in the divorce para like i think they have the exact conversation and rstan is like SMH#u Never Learn!! like no sir <3 never not once!! do u think im sexc do u want to kiss me...like Yes Absolutely bUt StILL MAD#*rstan inflicting pacifistic violence and flickin jk on the forehead or hitting him w a throw pillow patching him up*#Stop Hitting On Me >:c KLJDSksjd WHICH IS SO CUTE#and jkyle is just like YEESH EAAASY KILLA! CANtCHA SEE I GOT GLASS SKIN N PAYPA' BONES?! IM V SOFT N DELICATE#WHICH IS SO UNSERIOUS he also was such an Ayshole when rstan did it and went OWwW so rs kissed him on the forehead#BY ACCIDENT HES NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT It WAS DIABLOLICAL AS FUCK HE WAS SO PROUD TOO SMH#rS LIKE UUU ARE SO ANNOYING I HAtE U ( me when i lie ) jk like yayaya anyways can i have a second one yk For My OCD <3 jAAAAAILLL!
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kangals · 9 months ago
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Your puppy fever was a little to contagious!
Contacted a breeder and getting a Belgian sheepdog soon, since it will be our first puppy (and dog), I was wondering if you have any tips that maybe are not usually found when researching and come from experience.
Looking forward to my own snout fluffer!!
!! congrats on your (future) baby! I’m mostly just stumbling my way through life with the thought process of “this will probably work out fine” so I don’t know that I have too many puppy tips I can give you haha. I can say, from working in vetmed, to try to make sure your puppy gets used to crates and restraint young! it makes such a huge difference when a dog is losing its shit and hard for staff to handle vs a dog that is tolerant (or at least not freaking out), and herding breeds can be very sensitive to that. like I completely forgot to desensitize Stellina to collar/harness grabs as a puppy and didn’t realize until one day someone tried and she panicked - oops. So with Kep we’ve just done some simple “I am tugging your collar haha silly here’s a treat” and he’s already ambivalent about it. So I think it’s all pretty standard stuff like that! Genuinely I am just kind of doing whatever and assuming that people have had dogs for ages so I probably won’t be screwing up irrevocably 🤷‍♀️
im not very knowledgeable about Belgian sheepdogs (besides thinking they’re very pretty and I would probably try to own a tervuren if I was more brave/competent) but @groenendaze and @herdybunch may have some pointers for you! I am just a little idiot with my easy herding-lite companion breed 😅
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juniperhillpatient · 2 months ago
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I would honestly rather these people just say “you’re rejected” & leave it at that than explain why if the criticism is going to make no fucking sense & be something I can’t even fix anyway. but that might just be the part of me that absolutely cannot handle rejection well at all & decided to pursue a goal that involves a lot of rejection by nature anyway
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sleeplessdreamer14 · 1 year ago
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I’m just gonna say it; Moira would make a much better Dr. Frankenstein than Junkrat. If you’ve read Mary Shelley’s book, you know what I mean.
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 months ago
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when will Catholic Instagram influencers realize they can’t “sis you are infinitely worthy” their way out of everything
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