#the ONE thing

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[autistook]

happy July 19th and happy so it begins day for Middle-Earth

[anartificialsatellite]

Sometimes I miss when the bulk of the antisemitism I came across online was like, over the top trollish 4chan level shit and not people I used to like and follow eating up and sharing brainrot conspiracy theories every third post.

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

"The One Thing You Can't Replace" - Ex-Niji Version

AKA the closest I'll ever get to discourse-posting. But if you have quotes for Mint, Doki and the rest, by all means send them in!

Maid Mint: Another story I heard about myself... This one happened in Nijisanji. We had this boss, Mr. Tazumi, and I had a kouhai who went to our agency, Rosemi Lovelock. She was in Obsydia and I was in LazuLight, so she was a gen behind me.

Mint: So Mr. Tazumi was an asshole. And one weekend, he and his yacht decided to leave town, which you should never do if you're an asshole. And Rosemi decided to throw a party at the HQ - hooray! So everyone around Niji heard about it, and we all got up individually and said:

Quinn Benet: Okay. Let's go over there and destroy the place.

Mint: I walked into this party. Everyone I had ever met was there, and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world! We were drinking like it was the Civil War and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. We were like dogs without horses - we were running wild.

Mint: I walked down... I walked down to the basement. They had a pool table in the basement.

[Cut to Michi Mochievee, jumping onto the pool table]

Mint: One kid took a running start and threw her body onto the pool table and broke it in half.

[Cut to Kuro, plotting mischief]

Mint: Another kid found out which office was Tazumi's and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer.

Mint: So the party was going great.

[Chat cheers]

Mint: I'm standing in the basement, and I'm holding a red cup - you've seen movies - and I'm standing there, and I'm starting to black out. And I guess someone said, like...

Sayu: Something, something, managers.

Mint: And in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled:

Mint/Pomu: FUCK THE MANAGERS! FUCK THE MANAGERS!

Mint: And everyone else joined in! Three dozen drunk EN children yelling "Fuck. Da. Managers." with the confidence of guys who have, like, already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore - you know, that "I served my nickel! You come and take me!" confidence. But EN children.

Mint: The reason someone had said "something something managers" was because the managers were there. So an Anycolor manager walked down the stairs and got to the bottom in the basement, and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling "Fuck the managers!" in his face! And he was almost impressed! He was like, "Wooooowww..." And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went: "Get the paddywagon!"

Mint: And my friend Matara - who is now a mother, this woman has babies - she grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled:

Matara: SCATTER!!!

Mint: And everyone ran in a different direction. We all ran in different directions. It was like that scene in Rat-tat-touille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways - we all ran in different directions.

Mint: I ran into the laundry room and I jumped up on a washing machine, and I crawled out through a window into the back alley, and now I'm running through the back alley and there was this big chain link fence. And I thought:

Mint/Pomu: I have never climbed a fence that high before!

Mint: And then I woke up at home.

[Chat laughs uproariously]

Mint: On Monday, I went to work, because that's what we did back then. And I'm walking into the collab, and who do I see but Rosemi Lovelock. And she says to me:

Rosemi: Hey, were you at my party on Saturday?

Mint: And I said no. You know, like a liar. And she said:

Rosemi: Things got really out of hand. Someone broke the pool table. Someone took a dump on Tazumi-san's computer. But the worst thing is, someone stole these old antique photos of Tazumi's grandmother. And our bosses are freaking out about it.

Mint: And I had that thought that only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have: "Did I do that?"

[She pauses as chat reacts]

Mint: I figured no, I wouldn't have done that. But I was never sure - until, a year later... Relax!

Mint: I'm playing video games with this kid named Dokibird, that we also went to Nijisanji with. A year later, we've graduated by now. We're playing video games for a couple hours. And then Doki says to me:

Doki: Hey, come here, I wanna show you something.

Mint: And she takes me into her bedroom, and then she takes me into a side room off of her bedroom - never a good thing to have.

Mint: And she shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from Nijisanji parties over the years. And I said: "Why? Why do you do this?"

Mint: And Doki said:

Doki: Because it's the one thing Tazumi can't replace.

[Chat erupts into laughter and cheers]

[mightierthanthecanon]

[momentsbeforemass]

The one thing

There is something in us that absolutely loves the idea of the solution.

The one thing that solves everything.

There’s something in us that wants to believe that if do that one thing, use that one product, then everything else will work. All of our problems will be solved. Life will become transparently easy. Or all of the above.

It’s why sales pitches for miracle products promise to solve multiple problems. And why so much click-bait has lines like “this one weird old trick…”

Those approaches work – to draw us in. Because they’re punching our “one-thing-that-solves-everything” button.

So, in today’s Gospel, when we hear Jesus say, “There is need of only one thing.”

It can sound to us like someone else punching our “one-thing-that-solves-everything” button. Yet another sales pitch. As if Jesus was pushing another over-promising miracle product.

Which misses the point that Jesus is trying to make.

Because (as anyone who’s dealing with an addiction, or a chronic physical or mental health problem, can tell you), when it comes to life’s heavy lifting, to the hard things in life, there is no “one-thing-that-solves-everything.”

So what is Jesus talking about? When He tells Martha “There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part. And it will not be taken from her.”

Jesus is talking about some of the most vital, and most often overlooked, parts of self-care. Taking care of your spiritual and emotional needs. By ensuring that you have the depth, the capacity, the grounding to deal with all of the different things that you are dealing with.

And that starts with taking the time simply to be with God. To let God love you. To let God fill you up with the peace that comes only from spending time with God.

Not that our needs and the needs of others aren’t important. We should always bring those before God. Just like we should always bring everything that’s weighing us down to God.

Not that God doesn’t already know all of it. But so that we don’t fool ourselves into thinking that we have to carry all of that by ourselves. And so that God can let us know what things to let go of entirely.

But in addition to all of that, you and I need time to just be with God.

To lay down everything we’re anxious and worried about at God’s feet. To let the source of our strength be the source of our peace.

That is the “one thing.”

Today’s Readings

[darlinhutchence]

they are BABIES here im screaming??? inxs on hey, hey, it's saturday in 1982.

[destialpal]

“Mom?”

I will literally throw up all over you tim minear im in your fucking walls i cannot believe this

[blue-cat-shitposts]

Greetings again, Cats are Liquid fandom!

They say that if a fandom exists, there is an animatic of the one thing for it.

I am here today to prove that claim correct.

[sundove88]

Project Link Up All Stars- The One Thing You Can’t Replace

Art by @kindabizarretbh

Victor Nefario (Shonen Jump Power Linkage, Linker of Frieza)- Narrating it

Michael DuPont (Mega Man Mega Linkage, Linker of Dr. Wily)- Mr. McNamara

Lucas Daybreak (Mega Man Mega Linkage, Linker of Zero)- Jake McNamara

Various other Linkers from other installments as the Party Guests

Rami Banjarski (Super Smash Bros Power Linkage, Linker of Donkey Kong)- Kid who broke pool table

Kokoda Masuko (Crayon Shin Chan Linkage of Mayhem, Linker of Shin Chan)- Kid who took a crap on the computer

Darren Wilkes (Mega Man Mega Linkage, Linker of Duo)- Chicago Police Officer

Jonathan Rue (Persona Linkage of Light and Dark, Linker of Ren Amamiya/Joker)- Alex

Note: Everyone here is drinking soda and stuff like that.

Another story I heard about myself, this one happened not that long ago. There was this guy at Rivet Bay Middle School whose nephew went to the city’s neighboring high school. His name was Michael DuPont and his nephew Lucas Daybreak went to that high school. He’s a freshman, while I’m a seventh grader. So he’s two years ahead of me.

And Mr. DuPont was a butthole, and one weekend, he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do, if you are a butthole. And Lucas decided to throw a party at his uncle’s house.

Hurray!

And everyone- us Linkers and their Partner Characters around our cities heard about it and we all got up individually and thought…

“Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place.”

I walked into this party. Everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking soda like it was the end of the world. People were drinking soda like it was the Cybertronian War and Ratchet was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. We were like the Decepticons without Soundwave, we were running wild.

I walked down, I walked down to the basement. They had a pool table in the basement. One Linker took a running start and his Partner Character threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half. Another Linker found out which room was Mr. DuPont’s and went upstairs and his Partner Character took a crap on his computer.

So the party was going great.

I'm standing in the basement, and I'm holding a red cup; you see in movies. And I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like something, something police and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled: f** Da Police! f** Da Police! And everyone else joined in. A 100 drunk white Linkers yelling “f** Da Police”. With the confidence of guys who have already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore, you know that like, I'll serve my nickel, you come and take me, confidence. But white children.

The reason someone had said something, something police was because the police were there. So Officer Darren Wilkes walked down the stairs and got to the bottom in the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling; f** Da Police in his face, but he was almost impressed.

He was like wow, and then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went, get the paddy wagon. And my friend Maximus, who is now a Linker, this man’s got a Partner Character in the form of Cell, he grabbed a Fanta, threw it on the ground, and yelled scatter.

And everyone ran into different directions. We all ran in different directions. It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways. We all ran in different directions.

I ran into the laundry room and I jumped up on the washing machine and I crawled out through a window into the backyard and now I'm running through the backyard and there was this big chain link fence and I thought I've never climbed a fence that high before. And then I woke up at home.

On Monday, I went to school because that's what we always do. And I'm walking into the school building and who do I see but Lucas. And he says to me hey, were you at my party on Saturday and I said no, you know, like a liar. And he said things got really outta hand. Someone broke the pool table. Someone took a crap on my uncle’s computer.

But the worst thing, he says; the worst thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my grandma and my aunt and uncle are freaking out about it. And I had that thought that only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have. Did I do that? I figured no. I wouldn't have done that.

But I was never sure, until after I became a Linker, relax. I'm playing video games with this kid named Jonathan that we also met on the internet with. Few weeks later, we’re Linkers by now. We're playing video games for a couple hours with our Partner Characters, and then Jonathan says to me, hey, come here I want to show you something and he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom. Never a good thing to have.

He shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And I said why? Why do you do this? And Jonathan said, because it's the one thing you can't replace. That's the end of that story, but how screwed up is that right? That's crazy.

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

The One Thing You Can’t Replace by John Mulaney with David Tennant characters

Narrator: Ten Jake McNamara: Campbell Bain Mr McNamara: Scrooge McDuck Chicago Police Officer: Alec Hardy John #2: Staged!David Broke The Pool Table: Hamlet Took A Sh*t on the Computer: Crowley Something Something Police: Harry Watling “I SERVED MY NICKEL YOU COME AND TAKE ME”: Casanova bc he’s already been to prison Alex: Kilgrave

[weepingmilkshakedreamer]

z0me pr0grezz 2 an amateur surge0n animatic i zaid i w0uld make [which im taking a break fr0m btw but i will eventually finish it]. l0l

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Do people still like "The One Thing You Can't Replace" fancasts?

[chaptertwo-thepacnw]

inxs, the one thing |1982|

[momentsbeforemass]

The one thing

The one thing that’s worth everything.

That’s what today’s Gospel is all about. To make sure that we’re clear about the importance, the value of the Kingdom of Heaven. That it truly is the one thing that’s worth everything.

Okay, but what is it? What is this “Kingdom of Heaven” that’s so important, so valuable?

We’ve got a lot of ideas about that. For some of us, the Kingdom of Heaven is all about forgiveness. Or salvation. Or where we’re going to spend eternity.

All of those things are part of it. But they’re not all of it.

Because the Kingdom of Heaven isn’t just the sweet by and by. It’s also right here and right now.

The Kingdom of Heaven is all about God’s call for you. Your purpose in life. God’s grace and patience and joy poured out on you to overflowing. His strength and provision for everything that comes your way, in every season of life.

And even your life with God on a random Wednesday.

All of it inextricably linked, from the eternal to the everyday. Bound together with the endless love of God for you.

Because the secret of it all, the truth behind it, is that this flows in both directions.

The Kingdom of Heaven is your pearl of great price, because you are God’s pearl of great price.

God looks at you, and sees the one thing that’s worth everything.

In case you wondered what Good Friday was all about.

Today’s Readings