#the Jasper situation now feels like we need to step carefully

[soraavalon]

Eudora: So darlin'? Nathaniel: That was a lot. I'm fine, how are you? Eudora: I-I'm... I'm fine? A little concerned. Nathaniel: Yeah. It's another dead end, I'm sorry. Eudora: I wouldn't call it a dead end. Nathaniel: What are you thinking? Eudora: Just... Having that confirmation that Lady Valmoira sent Jasper in that direction. Now I don't know when she might of mentioned it to him, I don't know the context. Nathaniel: Right. Eudora: But I don't like it. Nathaniel: So what now? I don't suppose we could just ask Lady Valmoira about it? (OOC): [in chat] imagining the face swan is making rn Eudora: I don't know. DM: [in chat] *laughing emoji* Tark knows Sending and Valmoira. You could Just Ask Her. Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] from a distance DM: [in chat] a safe distance Tark (OOC): [in chat] someone would have to ask Tark to do it first Moriarty (OOC): [in chat] no distance is safe

[jasperhaleobsessed]

Mending What's been Broken

Summary: Edward and Bella have a different conversation after New Moon than in canon.

Notes: Thank You to everyone who favorite and followed this story it makes me so so happy! Hope you enjoy it! Feel free to leave any suggestions and constructive criticism. It's greatly appreciated! Also in this chapter it is Edward’s POV I don’t say what the characters are specifically saying but convey the jist of it more like. 

Characters: Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen and Bella Swan (Mentioned)

Warnings: None does talk lightly about what happened at the Volturi.

…

Edward’s POV

I walked into the living room. She stood up abruptly, she pushed me back out of anger and frustration. I’m sure you can guess who. Alice. “You let her get away! What’s wrong with you?” She screeched. She was furious. I heard her raving thoughts the moment I stepped in the door. I’m surprised she didn’t call me and demand me to go back and talk to Bella. I desperately wanted to go back to her but I wouldn’t. I won’t break that promise to her. I want to regain her trust and to do that I need to give her time and prove that I am trustworthy. If she had a vision of us talking, why is she so angry? Wouldn’t she want us to work it out in the right way? Perhaps she only saw parts of our conversation? No, I don’t think that’s possible to see just one part or perhaps it is possible but I think it’s something else, I think she just misses her best friend. 

“I didn’t let her do anything, it was her choice! You should know by now…” I roared back. But then I paused trying to take a deep breath. She just misses her best friend. She’s hurt like I am. I continue to say, “I should know by now that’s how I got into this mess in the first place.” By the time I was done speaking the whole family was listening and watching us intently. I could hear their thoughts swirling. 

Emmett was thinking of ways of murdering me in my sleep. He was seething. Carlisle was choosing his thoughts carefully. He didn’t completely approve of us leaving but was trying to think of what was best for Bella and our family. But seemed pleased that I was changing my mind, that I was doing things differently than before, that I was being healthier. Esme was thinking apprehensive of the whole situation. She didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. I hope she forgives me for going to Volturi and leaving Bella. Jasper was uncertain of the whole situation. Still unsure what to think. But he did understand why I left but saw the affects of my departure and disagreed with my actions. Rosalie was furious as usual. She didn’t want her family to be torn apart. She hated that she and the rest of us had to leave. But she also regretted how she treated Bella. She understood now that we need her and vice versa. She, like the rest of the family, watched us attentively. 

I take a step forward and I wrap my arms around her tiny frame. I whispered to her, “Alice I’m sorry I know I’ve caused you pain by taking away your best friend, telling you to leave her and for that I am truly, truly sorry.” She didn’t hug me back immediately but after a minute she did. If she could cry I’m sure she would be sobbing. Jasper wanted to run up to her and comfort her and tell her “Everything’s going to be okay.” But he stayed back, he knew we needed to talk. He watched carefully. I believe he was ready and prepared to step in at any moment. He proved it again and again that he cared deeply about her. He was her world and vice versa. Some say he’s cold but at heart he cares deeply for his family and for Alice. And he would never let anything bad happen to her or any of us. 

Her thoughts were a jumbled mess. But she still managed to say, “I-i could’ve said no, I c-could’ve f-fought to stay but I didn’t none of did and n-now we have to m-make u-up for it. We have to h-help her. I-I c-can’t let her d-down again. I won’t.” She said, with determination in her trembling voice. “I know you won’t.” I tried to soothe. 

“And you better not do something like that again mister! I was so scared you were dead!” She hugged me tighter, she hugged me like she’d never let go and perhaps she wouldn’t. Knowing her she wouldn’t. She's a good sister and I am lucky to have her in my life. I was lucky to have them all. I shouldn’t have taken that for granted. I’ll never take it for granted again. And that’s a promise. I just need to fulfill that promise, I need to keep to it. It wasn’t just Bella who I needed to prove that she can trust me again, it was also my family too. But they also needed to prove to her they could trust them as well. I guess we all needed to prove something to one another. 

This is not going to be easy but I hope Bella’s right, I hope we can do this. I’m not as optimistic as her but I also trust her and I need her to trust me too. I never want her to be alone again. I can’t…I won’t do that to her. I want to fulfill that promise as well. No more heartbreak, just love and trust. We need to find Victoria and stop her. I hope Jacob won’t be a problem as well. But I am sure he will be another obstacle I’ll have to face. I’m not completely sure how Bella feels about him or what their whole story is but I do know he’s important to her and I need to be careful of him. Once again I can’t do anything rash or else I could lose her trust and break the treaty, causing my family trouble, and dying is not on my to-do list. But I do know none of this will be easy. It's going to take time and lots of it. As a vampire time goes by slowly but this is one of the slowest. This will be tedious but out of everything I’ve gone through in my existence and done this will be the most fulfilling. 

“I promise I won’t.” I vowed. I was going to uphold this promise. I will not let her down not again. I can’t see my sister like this ever again. I can’t ever put myself or my family through anything like again either. I don’t think I could, I’m not strong enough for that. 

“You better.” She whispered softly. 

“Don’t worry Alice, I'll make sure he upholds that promise!” Emmett hollered and cackled like a maniac. 

She laughed, “Good.” 

“Don’t worry we’ll make sure of it.” Esme smiled warmly at Alice. Alice flashed a bright smile at her. I let go of her and she went to peck Esme’s cheek. Esme’s motherly and comforting thoughts filled the air. But I also heard Emmett’s and Jasper’s thoughts.

They were planning and strategizing what they’d do if I ever hurt Bella or took her away from them again. Emmett was like a big brother to her and if anything bad would happen to her it would break his heart. And he’d probably rip me from limb to limb. He certainly wasn’t going to ever leave her again and he, like the rest of my family, was determined to help Bella. To win back her trust. And to mend what has been broken. Jasper almost killed her on her birthday and he regrets it greatly. He wants to make it up to her in any way possible but she’s also a little sister to him. He felt all of our pain during the last few months and he knows she is part of this family, he doesn’t want to see any of his family in pain. And he certainly doesn’t want to be the cause of it. Not again. 

Surprisingly it was Rosalie who spoke up first, “We need to talk to her, we need to get her trust back…I need to gain her trust in the first place.” 

“That’s very wise of you but also kind.” I say. She gave me a small smile. I’d never gotten along with her but perhaps I could mend that relationship as well. 

Carlisle was rubbing his chin, he was in deep thought. He kept trying to think of the best way to phrase his thoughts.“Rosalie is right, we need to talk to her and fix what we’ve done. We’ve caused her too much pain.” 

“But how? I know we need to give her space and give her time. But how can we make her feel like she can trust us again?” Emmett questioned. 

Carlisle was ready to answer but Esme answered instead her motherly instincts were kicking in. “We need to be dependable, show that we can be trustworthy, be honest, be consistent, admit we were wrong, and help her.” Carlisle smiled lovingly at Esme. 

“When should we invite her over and talk to her?” 

“Tomorrow after school.” Alice answered in a monotone voice, her eyes were cloudy like when she was having a vision. She did have a vision. I was preoccupied by the conversation, I didn't notice. 

“We can all agree we’re never leaving her again right?” 

“Yes.” We all agreed. 

Emmett smiled, “Just making sure.” Always the jokester. 

I knew what was coming. I dreaded it. “Know before we have a chat with Bella tomorrow we need to have a chat with you about going to the Volturi.” Oh I was in so much trouble. His voice sounded very father-like. He crossed his arms looking me closely in the eye. He had authority to it but almost a hint of menace to it as well. You never want to make him mad. But I knew he was just worried about losing me. They all were. His eyes were still golden; he always had the best self control and self restraint. But I knew he wasn’t outraged, just worried.  All eyes turned to me and I knew that this would be a long discussion. 

To Be Continued…

[samaraannhan20]

Jasper Hale Imagine: Heat Exhaustion

“This is the last time I let you go outside without sunscreen Darlin’” Jasper says to me, shaking his head as I slowly waddle my way into his house from my car. “Yeah, well, the store was out and I wanted to go to the beach anyway. So deal with it,” I say, still slowly making my way up the steps to his house. “It wasn’t even that sunny today, how did you manage this?” he questions as I finally make it up to where he is standing. “I was out there for a really long time. Like, a really really long time,” I say, putting my hands up as a shield between the two of us when he goes to hug me. “Don’t touch me. Everything hurts and I think there is a possibility I have heat exhaustion,” I say, and just as I finish saying it my teeth start chattering again from the uncontrollable tremors that are running through my body. “Let’s get you inside, and we’ll have Carlisle diagnose you. You told your parents you were staying here tonight, right?” he asks, as he follows close behind me during my slow trek the rest of the way into the house. “Yes, and they didn’t care this time because I’m in so much pain, I was complaining with every step I took.” As I finish saying that, he gives up, picks me up, and carries me into the house. “Hey! That hurt!” I shout as he carries me in. “Yeah, well, you were gonna wind up even more sunburnt if you didn’t hurry up and get inside, and it was painful for me to watch you try and walk up those steps.” He continues to gently carry me into Carlisle’s office, where Carlisle is already waiting. “Well,” he says, chuckling and shaking his head, “Now we know why you needed sunscreen so bad last time you went.” “Gee, thanks Carlisle. Telling me something I already know,” the crankiness in me from the heat and sunburn coming out. Jasper and Carlisle both chuckle, and Carlisle starts to do the doctor-y things, and before long he’s standing back from me, shaking his head. “Well, you were right. You have heat exhaustion. I’m going to hook you up to an I.V. that will get some hydration back in you, I still have them lying around from when Bella was pregnant. I’ll also give Jasper some medicated aloe gel to put on you, to help a bit. I also suggest going upstairs and taking a warm bath, that might help a bit.” “Can she take a bath while she's connected to the I.V.?” Jasper asks, feeling the pain I am through his ability, and wishing he could help me quicker. “If she’s very careful, yes. You go run the water, and I’ll get her started on the I.V., and I’ll make sure it is portable,” Carlisle says, and they both go off to start their different activities, while I sit still on the examination table that was still in the office. Well this is boring, I think to myself, having left my bag and my phone by the entryway, and not daring to move for fear of upsetting the sunburn(or my vampire boyfriend). Before too long, Carlisle comes back in the room carrying an I.V. in his hand. He sets it down behind me, and gently grabs my arm. “This is probably going to pinch a little” he says, before expertly and gently sticking the needle into my vein. “You know Carlisle, no doctor can ever get my vein on the first try. Must be a perk to being a vampire doctor,” I say with a slight chuckle, and he looks up and smiles. “Must be,” he says, and finishes putting the I.V. in. Jasper shows up in the doorway shortly after, and carefully picks me up and carries me to the bathroom. “Are you going to sit in here while I take my bath? Because I have my swimsuit in my bag if you are,” I say, knowing that he probably will want to sit with me. “Darlin’, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” he says with a smirk. “Yeah, but your whole family is here, and I don’t want them to think badly of me,”  I say as he sets me down and starts to gently pull my shirt off. “Don’t worry, they won’t. Only Esme and Carlisle are here, for one, and Carlisle explained the situation to Esme. So you have nothing to worry about.” “Oh, okay then.” I slowly strip from the rest of my clothing, and then step gently into the water. At first it burns a little, but slowly I begin to get used to it, and my body stops hurting. “I don’t think this is a cure or anything, but it does feel kind of nice.” “Well, let’s wait and see how you feel when you get out. I looked it up while the tub was filling, and apparently as your skin dries out again it could hurt again. But, as soon as you get out, I'm going to gently rub aloe all over the red places, and that should help a bit. I think you should get out when your I.V. pack is empty,” he says, eyeing the clear bag sitting on the edge of the tub with us. We sit there in silence for probably another half an hour or so, and then Jasper helps me gently lift out of the tub. At some point he got my swimsuit out of my bag, after deciding that the best course of action would be to wear it until my sunburn hurts a lot less. After we finish all of the remedies that Carlisle gave us, Jasper helps me lay down on the bed in his room. He sits there gently running his cold hands over my back where the worst of the burn was. “Jas?” I say, laying there with my face squished on my forearms and a pillow. “Yes, baby?” “Thank you. I think if I had stayed at home I might have died from pain. Thank you for having Carlisle help me. And if you could, thank him for me. I don’t think I can move,” I say, ending with a slight chuckle.

[neutron-stars-collision]

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 9 - ‘The Kindest of Kisses Break the Hardest of Hearts”

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 (swear I’ll make a masterlist soon)

Summary: Back in London, you find unexpected help in the form of Ives. But when Neil comes back sparks fly... ✨

Warnings: Swearing.

Author’s Notes: So here’s the chapter I’m incredibly excited about... Suppose I should thank Dior for inspiration in this one. Hope you enjoy this as much as I loved writing the last scene! Please let me know what you think!

You did not remember the last time you were this happy to be back in London. After the mission in Paris was done, Jasper went back to Boston, and you were free to do what you wanted. You contacted TP, told him how the mission went (without certain details), and in return, got told to wait for more information regarding the next steps. By your estimation, it was less than two weeks left till Kiev and the day when the mysterious plan will be set into motion. You were scared.

Ever since that day in Paris when Neil called, you had a difficult time maintaining normal conversation with him. He would message asking about something as mundane as how your day went, and you would only respond with a short sentence. You could not really explain it if asked. It was as though after hearing his voice and letting yourself have that conversation with him, all the doubts came back with a tripled strength. Suddenly you could almost believe Jasper and his harsh words suggesting that you were not important in Neil’s eyes. Maybe he just liked flirting, and you were conveniently there? That sounded rather plausible. Ever since you started naming those thoughts, an ache in your chest was hard to ignore. And so you did the best you could, which in this case meant low-key ghosting Neil and losing yourself in training and work. 

Surely with enough time and space, you would get over it (him), right?

That was the state of your mind the day when rather surprising help appeared. You have been back in London for a few days and have not really interacted with anyone. Usually, you would spend two hours in the shooting range and then in a sparring session. After you were done, you would retreat to your room and try to ignore the texts that were still occasionally coming. 

“How’s London treating you? Say hello to Anna from me” you glanced at the screen and frowned.

The instant temptation to text back was still there. Only now, it was tainted with much more anxiety and uncertainty.

“It’s alright, rather quiet. I haven’t seen her around though. Maybe she’s moping after you”

Like I am? You sighed and chose to focus on notes from the physics class. You were saved from the study by an unexpected knock on the door. Without thinking, you got up and opened it, only to see Ives standing there with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hi” you muttered, worried you have forgotten how to behave like a human being.

“Hello, love” he grinned “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“No, I was actually rather bored” you admitted with a sheepish smile.

You heard the distinct buzz of a text message but chose to ignore it. You were slowly getting better at the game. 

“That’s terrific because I thought we could have a coffee in the canteen and chat” Ives’ thick cockney accent was somewhat adorable.

And you could definitely do with a distraction.

“I’d love that” you beamed back at him and left the room, locking the door behind you.

As you walked side by side along the corridor, you struggled to say something.

“How did you know I’m here?” finally you settled for a rather easy question.

“I’ve seen you at the shooting range in the morning” he watched you closely for a short moment “You’re fucking amazing, did you know that?”

“Oh no, I’m really not” you felt your face heat up.

“Yeah you are” he playfully nudged you in the side “You could probably teach me a thing or two”.

You glared at him and then quickly considered your options.

“Only if you taught me how not to be knocked out within the first two minutes of the hand in hand combat” you knew you could use help in that department.

“Deal?” Ives stopped and turned to you with an outstretched hand.

“Deal” you shook it with a grin.

Once you made it to the mess hall, you noticed with relief that it was rather quiet. You both made coffee and sat down at the table in the corner. After a few moments of comfortable silence when you sipped your drinks, Ives spoke up:

“What have you been up to?” he was eyeing you curiously.

Even though you barely knew him, you felt at ease. There was no enigma of TP to him or Neil’s intensity. Instead, he was just a friendly bloke with sharp wits.

“Oh you know, shit mission in New York and now even shittier one in Paris” you frowned at the fresh memories “Though I suppose the recent one at least ended with success” you mused.

It was true not all of your missions have ended with a huge fuck up. And that was somewhat encouraging.

“With Jasper?”

“Yeah” your frown deepened, and Ives grinned.

“My condolences. He’s a right pain in the ass”

“Well said” you laughed, finally feeling some of the tension of the last few days dissolve.

But it was not meant to be for long. Before either of you spoke again, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of the pocket and glanced at the received text. It was him, of course. You grimaced and placed the phone screen down on the table as if to avoid the temptation. All the while you felt Ives’s attentive gaze. He has not missed a thing.

“Neil?” he asked, watching you closely with a neutral face.

“Yeah…” you shrugged, avoiding his stare “I’ll probably sound pathetic… but do you know where he is?”

Once the question was out of your mouth, you felt your cheeks heat up. It was one thing to worry about him daily. Another to actually voice the worries. But Ives did not seem to mind. He quickly considered something before leaning over the table.

“He’s in India, dealing with some sudden disruption. I was there with him in the beginning” at your unspoken question, he added “He’s fine, often said that’s partially thanks to you” he eyed you carefully, and you looked down at the table, flustered.

“It’s more that if I wasn’t there, he wouldn’t even need help in the first place” you mumbled, feeling the guilt gnaw at your heart.

Still, sometimes you kept wondering why on earth had he decided to shield you back in the bar. But any possible answer to the question meant having to assume something about Neil’s intentions. And that was dangerous territory.

“Should I ask?” Ives’ question brought you back to the present moment.

“Better not” you smiled wryly, and he just nodded.

“He wouldn’t shut up about you sometimes, you know” he spoke up again after a short silence, making you look up.

You were not sure you liked the cheeky smirk that appeared on Ives’ face. You were not going to give in.

“He’ll get over it in no time, I’m sure” you feigned nonchalance as you finished your coffee and met his gaze.

“Are you two good?”

You just shrugged. To be frank, you had no clue how to answer that. Was there even such an entity as ‘you two’ when it came to you and Neil?

“Well, whatever is going on, know that I’m ready to slap some sense into him if needed” Ives grinned at you, and you beamed back.

“Appreciated”

The next few minutes passed in companionable silence. That is until your brain rudely decided to suggest another pressing question.

“Is he there… alone?” you cringed as soon as you said it aloud.

No point in trying to sound disinterested…

“Nah, Wheeler stayed with a couple of others” his stare was way too knowing.

You felt a sharp stab of pain in your heart. What even… There was no reason to be jealous. Right? As you were internally debating what the new feelings were supposed to mean, you failed to notice Ives’ grinning at your distress.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous” he was enjoying it way too much.

“What? No, I’m not” you tried to scoff at this insinuation but failed miserably.

“Yeah, you are” that’s how you learnt that Ives had his own version of a shit-eating grin.

Was that a part of the Tenet work application?

“Mate, Neil and Wheeler wouldn’t fuck each other even if I paid them. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you” Ives wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you groaned.

You glared at him, unable to come up with any good response.

“What? I may have only seen you two together once, but it was clear to me that dear Neil is interested. Very much so” he smirked at your wide-eyed stare “But I don’t think that’s in any way news for you” he squinted his eyes as though trying to see right through your soul.

“Please, let’s leave psychoanalysis for another date” you grabbed the phone from the table and looked at him pleadingly.

“Of course” he grinned “When shall we have our first sparring lesson?”

“Tomorrow morning. Be there at 9” you got up “Thanks for the chat”

“Anytime, love” he waved as you left the canteen.

*** Combat lessons with Ives have proven to be a gift from the gods in the days that followed. He would accompany you to the shooting range afterward as well under the pretence of wanting to learn from you. Even though you were sure it was utter bullshit as he could hit the marks as well as you, if not better, you appreciated the sentiment. To say that his help in the sparring sessions meant you have greatly improved would be an overstatement, but certainly, additional tips slowly started to make a difference. All that distraction meant you also spent much less time wondering about Neil’s whereabouts and asking yourself existential questions about your own feelings. That was probably the best outcome of the situation.

Another morning of the sparring session began with you and Ives meeting in the gym as usual. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as you entered the gym.

“More or less” you grinned, stifling a yawn.

Last night you spent way too much time overthinking the text exchange with Neil. All it took was for him to mention ‘the fun you had in New York’ and then compare it to the recent night undercover. To you, it meant that Jasper was right, and you were just another ‘flirting companion’. And that shit hurt.

“That will have to do then” he tossed a water bottle in your direction, and you caught it easily.

You set it down on the side and the mat and stood facing Ives. After a short warm-up, he began showing you the way of blocking punches aimed at your upper body. While the demonstration always looked easy, once you went onto the practice, you have begun to struggle. After getting a third light punch to the shoulder, you huffed:

“Maybe I should just give up and become a sniper” you rubbed the aching spot.

“That could work” he grinned “Though I’m not sure how Neil would feel about that career change”

“Fuck Neil” you made sure to put up your guard, expecting another punch.

“I see how it is” Ives smirked before he threw a hit towards your other shoulder.

This one you blocked. And the one afterward as well. Slowly, with only a few mistakes, you got the hang of the game. That is until you were interrupted by someone clearing their throat by the door. You both turned to see Anna standing there.

“Y/N, can I speak to you for a moment?” she sent you a fake smile.

Christ…

“Of course”

You looked at Ives with panic in your eyes before you followed her into the corridor. Anna was clearly uncomfortable with having to talk to you, and that did not ease the tension.

“What’s the matter?” you spoke up first, hating the awkwardness of the moment.

“Neil called me yesterday” she paused, and you frowned.

“Yeah?” if she wanted to torture you, she has succeeded.

“He wanted me to let you know that they got Steiner in New York” despite Anna’s best attempts at keeping her face neutral, you knew she was enjoying this.

“Okay, thanks” you smiled weakly, trying to ignore the jealousy building up in your chest.

“Oh, and he says he should be back next week” now she was smiling dazzlingly.

“Great” you mumbled and showed her your brightest grin “Thank you”

With that, you chose to end the tortures for you both and went back into the gym. At Ives’ questioning stare, you just glared. He understood instantly.

“Fuck Neil?” he offered you a sip from the water bottle, which you gladly accepted.

“Mhmm”

There was so much to unpack from what Anna told you. Partially, you knew your ghosting was to be blamed for the situation but still, it hurt. Especially the unspoken fact that Neil has called her. You knew you were being ridiculous but could not ignore the feelings that were attacking every fibre of your being.

“Ready for another round?” Ives looked at you worriedly.

“Absolutely”

*** A few days later, as you left a meeting covering suspicious activity around London, your head was most certainly elsewhere. Ever since the awkward situation with Anna, you were not sure what to do with yourself. Only carefree moments were those you spent in the shooting range or learning hand to hand combat with Ives, who was surprisingly great at distracting you.

Walking along the corridor, you were too busy worrying about all those texts you have ignored to see where you were going. With eyes trained on the floor, you barely registered the surroundings. And that is why you were incredibly surprised when you unexpectedly collided with something solid standing on your path.

“Fuck” you muttered before slowly realising that you have, in fact, walked into a person.

You felt someone’s hands reach out to steady you by wrapping around your waist. The next thing you registered was the smell. A very familiar one that you have tried to repress from memory for the past few weeks. You felt panic surge through your whole body before you let out a long exhale and lifted your head.

“Didn’t expect our reunion to be that dramatic, but I’m not complaining” Neil grinned at you with that smug look on his face you have grown to hate.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you” you choose to stare at his tie.

A nice burgundy one which he has worn in New York, during the mission. At the memory, your cheeks grew somehow warmer, and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to be swallowed by the earth. But to no avail.

“Are you alright?” his voice broke through the increasing paralysis.

“Yeah” you forced yourself to look up at him again.

The concern in his eyes only made your desire to run stronger. But his grip on your waist was unyielding. You were acutely aware of standing in the middle of the corridor. Anyone could pass by and see you like that. But it looked like Neil did not care.

“I tried calling you last night” his voice was tense.

Shit.

“Sorry I was busy” you were a terrible liar.

And, of course, he saw right through you. You noticed how the look in his eyes went from concern to serious worry, and you desperately wanted to flee the scene. He was studying your face, and you tried to look anywhere but at him. After a beat, he must have found some answers in your conflicted expression because he relaxed the grip on your waist, giving you a way out.

“If I said anything wrong…” you were thrown off by the slightly wounded look in his eyes.

Now that you actually could run away, you did not want to. Not without making sure he understood.

“You haven’t” you took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing heart “It’s… just things that Jasper said and stuff… it made me think” you mentally groaned, annoyed at how you could not form a coherent sentence.

But Neil understood as he nodded and reached for your hand. You let him lead you to a quieter spot in the adjacent corridor. You were still paralyzed with conflicting feelings, but now also curious. The voice in the back of your head kept on reminding you how much you have missed him. You had your back pressed against the wall and stared as he slowly stepped closer, making your personal space non-existent. It was suddenly hard to think about the reasons why you should not let him be this close. The look in his eyes was unreadable to you.

“I don’t know what that idiot told you or what’s going on in your head, but it’s all wrong” you felt his free hand slide up your arm to rest on your neck and gently caress the skin there.

It was embarrassing how you responded to his touch with your body tensing and goosebumps appearing where his fingers made contact with your skin. It was hard to lie, even to yourself.

“Why should I believe you?” your voice sounded breathless already.

You knew you should have never let him get this close before you talked. But still, the way he looked at you was surprising. Any train of thought was interrupted when he brushed the pad of his thumb over your lower lip. His eyes were darker than usual, and the intensity of his gaze alone made the flutters in your stomach appear.

“I’ve got a few reasons”

Gently he tilted your chin and covered your lips with his. You gasped at the contact and felt him smile against your mouth. Then, as though a switch was flipped, Neil started kissing you hungrily, and you responded in kind, letting your teeth graze his lower lip. When his hand wrapped around your neck, you felt lightheaded and breathless. But still, you deepened the kiss, making all the feelings you have tried to stifle lead the moment. It was scaringly easy to do. Only once you felt like you had no breath left, you broke the kiss and stared back at Neil with a dazed expression. That was not what you expected from your reunion.

“Hope that beat whatever Jasper had to offer you” he grinned, and you enjoyed the sight of his subtly swollen lips.

“Please don’t remind me” surprisingly, you could still form a sentence.

But that ability was soon to be gone as you watched mischievous sparks shine in his eyes. His lips curled into a smirk, and you knew you were fucked. In every meaning of the word. Before you could react, he leaned in closer again, kissed the corner of your mouth before leaving a trail of kisses down to your jawline, and then crook of the neck.

“Neil…” you breathed out, trying to somehow stop the situation from getting out of your hands.

“Yes?” he interlocked his fingers with yours, pinning your joined hands to the wall.

Perfect leverage. Thinking was getting increasingly difficult.

“I… I’ve missed you” that was not exactly what you wanted to say.

You heard him chuckle with his lips brushing the skin on your neck.

“Quite right” he kissed the spot beneath your ear “Too”.

You sighed at the sensation, tightening the grip on his hand and letting your other palm splay on his chest. Through the fabric of his shirt, you could feel the fast heartbeat. It was somewhat encouraging to know that it was not just your heart that was beating wildly. He was kissing your neck with something akin to reverence, which made you feel faint. The traces of reason left in your brain started screaming for attention.

“Neil” you huffed, annoyed at how you were unable to voice the mess of thoughts.

Slowly he lifted his head and looked back at you.

“I really like how you say my name” the roguish grin that began it all was back to haunt you “So breathless” his voice was huskier than usual.

He wanted to kill you, evidently.

You met his gaze helplessly, feeling vulnerable with how he could see right through you. He looked almost fascinated by your stunned expression. Then his eyes softened.

“I missed you too” you felt his hand travel down your body to settle on the hip “So much”.

That admission was all it took for you to lose it. Again. You leaned in and initiated another kiss, unable to deny the need you felt. Neil was ready as he easily matched the tempo you have set. This time neither of you wanted to rush it. Instead, you kissed slowly and delicately, enjoying the careless moment. You tangled your hand in his blonde strands, tugging lightly to bring him even closer. He groaned at the sensation, making you feel a new kind of tension. You wanted him to make that sound again. But before you could find ways of achieving that, on the periphery of your attention, you heard the distinctive sound of footsteps approaching fast. Then they stopped abruptly and were replaced with a shocked gasp.

You opened your eyes and found yourself staring straight at Anna. Fuck. She was frozen in the spot three meters away and had a bewildered expression on her face. You knew there was no way in hell she has not realised what was going on. You could only watch as her face scrunched up in a scowl before she turned on her heels and almost ran back down the corridor. That image was enough to help you wake up from the daze. Gently you disentangled from Neil, who looked confused. Despite the reality of the situation downing on you, you grinned seeing his ruffled hair and disoriented gaze.

“Well done, now Anna hates me” you warily eyed the corridor before settling your eyes on him again.

You watched as he slowly absorbed the information, frowned, and then brightened up again when he met your gaze.

“Pretty sure she did already” he eyed you carefully as though assessing the state he brought you to.

Conscious of how you looked, you smoothed your hair and patted your blazed cheeks. There was no pretending that nothing happened, even if you wanted to.

“Why?” you arched your eyebrow at the implication.

“You know why” he just smiled as though it explained everything.

You didn’t know why. At all. You watched as he ruffled his hair even further by combing a hand through it, and your eyes settled on the exposed forearm and rolled up sleeves. For some reason seeing him like that was very thought-provoking. You knew he caught your stare when you heard him chuckle.

“Like what you see?” it was that smug smirk again.

You could not help but roll your eyes at him. This time the voice of reason was not so easily ignored.

“We really should talk before…” you did not even want to finish the sentence.

“Before?” Neil took a step closer again.

“Before we do something much more reckless than… this” you gestured vaguely and took a step back.

“Would that really be so bad?” he bit his lip and eyed you curiously again.

You have had enough. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him back. That clearly surprised him.

“Let’s just talk. Please” you put on your best puppy eyes just for him.

That did the job. Thankfully.

“Couldn’t say no to that” he grinned and took your hand in his “C’mon”

Now you just had to figure out what to tell him. The only issue was that you had no idea about how you felt… Fun.

[bisexualbumblebee-writes]

Alive and Well Part 1- Jasper Badun x OC

Jasper Badun x Angela Young

Description: Angela reads the morning news and discovers that Cruella is dead, and Jasper and Horace have gone to jail for it. It leaves her with unresolved feelings for Jasper, but after getting a call from Artie, she realizes that they may not actually be unresolved.

Word Count: 1.8k

“You’re sure that it’s okay if I stay home today?” Angela asked hesitantly, twirling the phone cord around her finger. 

“Of course,” Artie responded earnestly. “In fact, I think I may just close the shop a bit early today, business has been a bit slow, you know?” Both of them knew that that was a lie, but Angela was thankful that he made an attempt. 

“Thanks Art, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” She questioned hopefully. 

“I can swing by later tonight if you’d like,” he suggested. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” she brushed it off. “Have a good day, lots of love.” 

After setting the phone down, Angela took another look at the very reason she wanted to stay home. She picked up the newspaper carefully, as if it would bite her, and tried not to tear up as she read the headline. 

                                      Cruella Up In Flames

A few hours earlier, the fire department received a call about a large house fire in the warehouse district of London, where it was discovered that it was the upcoming fashion icon Cruella’s lair. Just an hour before that, she had a flash mob showcasing her new work in Regent's Park, only to get run out by the police.   

Angela’s heart broke as she read it over, and the next line didn’t help her in the slightest. 

Police caught and arrested Jasper Badun and Horace Ethan for conspiracy to murder, though there was no body discovered among the wreckage. 

She set the paper down, not being able to read anymore of it. It just didn’t make sense, just last night everything seemed fine. Everyone had a blast with the show and even discussed getting drinks to celebrate the occasion. Plus, that didn’t even sound like Jasper and Horace. They loved Este -or actually- Cruella, from how they talked about her, she was like their sister. Sure she had been very pushy before the show, but that doesn’t mean the boys just jumped to murder. That wasn’t them. It was the Baroness, it had to be. But she couldn’t prove that, besides, Cruella was dead and that was the end of it. And yet, how was she supposed to just move on as if the past few months of helping the icon meant nothing, as if they weren’t the best days of her life? She had no idea. 

Just a few hours later she received a call from Artie. 

“I need your help,” he spoke rather excitedly. 

“Hello to you too, Art,” she responded amusedly. She heard the man laugh on the other end, and she could just imagine him shaking his head at her. 

“Hello Angela. How are you doing? How’s the family? Is your garden coming in nicely? I need your help,” he retorted in the same tone as before. 

“I’m as well as I can be. My mum got over that nasty cold and dad said hi. It is, but I’ll need more fertilizer soon. How can I help you?” Artie then gave her an address, telling her to meet him there for something important. 

“What is it? I’m not going to get killed, am I?” She joked, smiling when she heard him laugh once again. 

“Oh no, nothing like that love. Just get here as soon as you can. Lots of love!” He gave her no time to respond before he hung up. Angela only stared at her phone, confused. After a minute she shrugged and set it down, she had no reason not to trust Artie so she would have to get ready for the secret location. 

Just an hour later she stepped off the bus and arrived at a nice looking house. She double checked at the address she’d written down then walked up to the doorstep, knocking nervously. After only waiting for a few seconds the door opened to reveal a bald man in a nice suit. Her eyebrows shot up a bit and she messed with the hem of her rust colored parka. 

“Uh, hello. Is Artie here?” She greeted him awkwardly. 

“Are you Angela Young?” The man questioned in a deep voice, to which she nodded. A small smile rested upon his face and he opened the door wider for her. 

“Come in, my name is John. I am the owner of this house,” he explained as she stepped inside. “May I take your coat?” 

“Oh, uh, yes please.” She, with John’s help, took her parka off and she waited while he hung it up in a nearby closet. 

“Angela!” She heard Artie call from down the hall. She barely had time to turn before he hugged her. 

“I thought I heard your voice love. We’ve been waiting for you.” 

“We?” Angela repeated confusedly. 

“I’ll go make you some tea,” John spoke before walking off to what Angela assumed was the kitchen. 

“Come on,” the excited boy instructed, linking his arm in hers and leading her down the hall. 

“Artie, what’s going on?” She questioned as she followed him. “Why are we here in a stranger’s house?” 

“Just wait and see,” he responded before stopping in front of the doorway of what seemed to be the living room. She stared at him curiously for a minute before walking inside, then gasped. 

“Jasper!” She cried out in surprise. The man grinned widely at the girl. 

“Angela,” he exclaimed as the girl practically ran over to him. The two embraced, Jasper’s head lowering a bit to rest on top of her head. 

“You’re okay,” she breathed out, now sounding relieved. 

“You are too,” he responded in the same tone, squeezing her tighter. Angela wanted to cry, this time with happiness, but that would come later. 

“I am too,” she heard Horace speak up from the sofa. That made Angela giggle as she (very hesitantly) pulled away from Jasper and faced him. 

“I’m glad,” she responded kindly as she offered him a quick hug. “But what happened? I thought you two had gone to jail?” She questioned, looking around. 

“Well, we were in prison, but then we escaped,” Horace explained. 

“We had some help though,” Jasper added, now looking past Angela. That made her turn around, and her eyes widened. 

“Cruella,” she exclaimed. “You’re alive.” Though she was happy, she found her feet were stuck in place. She was still rather upset about Cruella’s treatment of not only her, but Artie, Horace and especially Jasper. That made her smile fade, and the woman seemed to understand why. 

“I know you’re probably mad,” she started, making Angela cross her arms. 

“That’s a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?” She cut her off rather coldly. She could see Artie frown out of the corner of her eye, but she didn’t exactly care at the moment. Instead, she shrugged and began walking around the living room. 

“I mean, now that I know what the Baroness is capable of, I want to take her down. Believe me, I do. But that was your goal before your ‘death’ and look what happened. You treated everyone like they were trash and beneath you, you acted as if Horace and Jasper hadn’t been there for you since you were children, and yet you still were ready to throw them under the bus to reach your goal. Hell, you almost fired me from a job I technically didn’t have! None of us were being paid for helping you, we did it because we cared about you. You didn’t care then, though. Tell me, what difference does it make this time around?” She stopped when Jasper reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder. 

“Just hear her out, Ang,” he pleaded softly. “She’ll explain everything.” She stared at him for a moment going over her options. Eventually she sighed and faced the woman across from her expectantly. After a few minutes of Cruella staying quiet, Angela breathed out a laugh and shook her head. 

“I’m leaving. Good luck with whatever you guys are trying to do but I’m not about to be a part of it.” She grabbed her bag, ignoring Jasper when he called her name. Just as she reached the door, she was stopped by Cruella finally speaking. 

“I almost died,” Cruella started. “If it hadn’t been for John, I would have. It’s quite the eye opener, though I don’t recommend you try it,” she stayed quiet for another minute before looking down when Angela faced her once more. “There’s no easy way to say this. The Baroness is my birth mother, she gave me away to die. And then killed the sweetest woman, albeit a liar, who ever lived.” Angela’s eyes widened, and her shoulder slumped enough that her purse fell from her shoulder and hung from her elbow. 

“We are in a kill-or-be-killed situation here. I can’t run, she’ll find me. You know she will, Angie,” she paused yet again then took a deep breath before looking at her. “I went a bit mad. I’m sorry. After all that’s happened with us, I can’t help but view you as my sister, and I know you’re the same way. Well, at least you were before I blew up. The point is, you’re my family. You guys are all I have.” Cruella gave her a desperate look, which made her close her eyes in thought. After a minute of silence Angela crossed her arms and exhaled deeply. 

“God, you’re really hard to say no to sometimes,” she finally spoke, opening her eyes once more. A smile appeared on Cruella’s face and she stood. The two met each other halfway in a hug. 

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” She questioned, which made the girl laugh. 

“Yeah, why not,” she responded as they pulled away. “So, what now?” Cruella’s sincere  smile melted into a mischievous one. 

“I have a plan,” she spoke. 

“Of course you do,” Artie responded teasingly. 

“And you two are going to help me,” Cruella continued. Angela and Artie gave each other a look before facing the woman. 

“A night full of fabulous and mayhem and possibly death.” Angela hummed in thought.

“Hmm. Check, check, I’m not quite sure about the death though.” 

“It won’t be any of you,” Cruella retorted. Artie grinned. 

“Continue.” 

“The Baroness’ charity gala is this weekend. We’re going to need the home addresses and measurements of all the guests.”

“Easy,” Horace responded, petting Winky. 

“You and Artie’s tribe of dressmakers, of course,” Cruella continued. 

“Of course,” Angela repeated with a grin. 

“A black cape, pots of paint.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jasper questioned with a laugh. 

“Several boned corsets…” Angela turned to face the others with a playful smile. 

“Should we write this down?” John walked in with tea for everyone, and Cruella’s smile widened as she looked around. 

“Let’s get started then.”

[since0202]

Chapter 36: Choice

“Times up.” Sam said one afternoon after Grace had ducked out of the Cullen house early for a pack meeting. 

“What do you mean ‘times up’? You’re just going to go in there and kill her?” Grace said skeptical, almost laughing at him as she grabbed some food from the kitchen table. 

“We have no new information and we need a plan of action for when this thing comes out.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Grace said annoyed. Jacob was standing behind her with his arms crossed looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t want you to do anything. You’re our line in. They trust you and I think the only other person that they would trust is Jacob.” 

“Okay,” Jake said also skeptical and reaching around Grace to grab a muffin from the table. “Then what do you want me to do?” 

“Same thing as Grace. I want you to get a line in, start spending time with Bella, keep an eye on the situation. And then as the time gets closer if she progresses we’ll have two of ours on the inside, which will definitely buy us more time if we need it in the end.” 

“I think you’re jumping the gun on this one Sam.” 

“Well, I don’t. And I’m alpha so you’ll do as I say,” he said confidently before leaving the room. Jake and Grace were left alone in the kitchen and she dropped into a kitchen chair laying her head on her arms. 

“We’re not fucking secret agents. Bella knows that the pack is not thrilled about the pregnancy. They’ll be prepared for an attack.” Grace said into her arms. Jacob dropped in the chair across from her and put his hands behind his head. 

“Edward already texted me like a month ago.” Jake said casually. Grace shot up in her seat. 

“What?! He texted you? About what?!” Grace said surprised. 

“To have me come and talk to Bella and try to convince her she should terminate.” He said looking toward the door. 

“Did you...did you text him back?” Grace said. She couldn’t believe Edward had never mentioned it to her.

“I went and saw him. We met in the woods. I mostly wanted to rub it in his face that I was right. That I knew he was going to kill her one way or another. But…” Jacob looked at his hands and Grace rested her chin on her crossed arms. “It didn’t feel like I thought it would. He was...different. Broken.” 

Grace listened quietly and when Jacob looked into her eyes she concentrated. She could see the image in his head now, fuzzy and flickering but there. They had been practicing this every once in a while when they were near each other when Jake wasn’t phased. She only ever caught glimmers and echos, never anything as concrete when he was in his wolf form but it was something. She squinted her eyes trying to see it more clearly in her mind’s eye but it wasn’t working. 

“You get the idea,” he said, cutting off his gaze and moving it back down to his hands. 

“What are we going to do? Sam is definitely going to kill this thing but what if...what if it turns out to just be a baby? What do we do?” 

“There’s no way it’s just a baby, but I get your meaning….” he was at a loss and couldn’t offer her a way forward anymore than she could other than to say, “We buy as much time as we can so we can be sure.” 

“Right,” Grace breathed. 

January 

Grace walked into the study where Bella was getting another ultrasound, coming to the middle of her second trimester. Carlisle was diligently moving the wand across her belly trying to see if he could ascertain anything new. 

Grace put her hands in the backpocket of her jeans and smiled. 

“How are we doin’?” She asked nonchalantly. 

“Good, just seeing if I can hear anything new…” Carlisle said his eyes trained on the monitor. Bella smiled but her face was starting to look sallow, Grace noticed. Her color was off too. In her first two months, she was pink and flush with a pregnancy glow, but now she was turning a tinge of yellowish green. 

“I brought a present. Hope that’s okay. It was kind of big so I left it downstairs,” Grace said nodding over her shoulder. Bella smiled and Carlisle clicked off his machine saying “Nothing new,” with a tight smile to Bella. 

“Come on preggo,” Grace said, helping her up. She was definitely starting to show much more than a woman who was normally 4-5 months pregnant would show. She helped Bella slowly descend the stairs, noticing how thin her arms were becoming. 

“You feeling okay?” she asked quietly. 

“Yeah of course, just had a headache this morning I can’t shake. Where’s this monster present?” Bella asked jokingly as they rounded the corner to the living room. 

“It’s a good monster, I promise,” Grace said.

Jake stood in the center of the living room wearing his black leather jacket, tan shirt and jeans. 

Bella broke into a wide smile and shuffled quickly toward Jake to wrap him in a hug. He obliged and carefully closed his arms around with a smile Grace hadn't seen in a while as he said, “Hey Bells.” 

“It’s so good to see you,” Bella said as tears sprang to her eyes. Grace patted Bella’s back and looked up at Jacob’s face before saying, 

“I’m going to run some errands while you’re here with her. You good?” Jacob nodded without opening his eyes and Grace headed toward the front door. As she left she heard Bella say, 

“Your hair’s long again.” To which Jake laughed softly. Grace cherished that sound for a second before she moved to the treeline, focused herself carefully and recast the 56 miles to Port Angeles. When she reappeared, she leaned up against a nearby building and tried to catch her breath. 

After a couple of minutes, she relaxed and pulled her hood up against the January sleet and headed down the busy street. Edward and Carlisle had been hard at work trying to find information from anyone who could tell them more about what was happening to Bella. Alice and Jasper had disappeared for a full month before coming back empty handed. They left in shifts, not wanting to leave Bella unguarded for too long, but this time, their trips had overlapped with when they usually went to feed, so Grace had offered to meet up with a lead Carlisle had found who seemed promising. 

Grace had conveniently left this information out of the collective pack mind however, knowing that Sam would be furious if she was meeting up with a rogue vampire informant. So what Sam doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Not to mention that the alpha fatigue was starting to wear on her. 

Now that Jacob was back, the old tension between Sam and Grace resumed. He understood that the connection between Jacob and Grace might be more akin to the true alpha-Spirit Bird link but since Jake wasn’t interested in becoming alpha, he was trying to dictate the parameters of their connection as the true alpha. 

It was exhausting. Grace was usually given so much whiplash by Sam’s commands that she opted to just tune out as much as possible which caused clear divides amongst pack members. In their histories, the alpha and Spirit Bird were meant to work in perfect harmony, a balance, give and take. But with Sam and Grace it had been anything but. She found herself wanting to resist his alpha commands more and more, make decisions without consulting him, keeping him out of the loop when it came to what was happening in the Cullen house, anything to get some peace. She knew Sam was just trying to keep the pack in order, do his job, and keep everyone safe, but Grace felt like it was more of a father-child relationship between them than a mutual agreement to manage the pack. 

She and Jacob had mulled it over a couple of times in their collective mind, but stopped when Jacob was getting hounded by Sam for sowing discord. Grace was able to shield her own mind from the collective packs if she wanted because it was a choice to dip into their shared consciousness, but Jacob could not. 

Grace pulled herself out of her reverie as she turned down another alleyway, her footfalls splashing in the gathering puddles. She paused a door to her left, rechecking her phone for the address before she heard a light hiss above her. Grace tentatively looked up and saw the crouched figure of a man in a long coat on a fire escape. He quickly jumped from the immense height and landed across from Grace. She kept her face cool, hands in her pockets and spoke with purpose. 

“Alastor? I’m here on behalf of Carlisle,” the sleet slowed offering them a brief reprieve that neither of them really noticed. The vampire looked at her curiously, his eyes darting across Grace’s body, taking her in and relishing in the scent. Grace made a mental note, Black eyes, this might be a problem. 

Another low hiss came from the back of the vampires throat without him meaning it, like a reflex. “And you're the little mortal he sent to do his bidding?” he let out a soft, pleasing laugh. Grace didn’t respond right away, just shifted her weight a little and kept her eyes trained on the creature. 

“You have information Carlisle asked for?” Grace leveled him with a solid stare. Surprisingly she wasn’t afraid, but as the time ticked on she felt like she was on a fool’s errand. Alastor looked like he hadn’t had a shower in decades. His blonde hair hung in oily strands around his round face. Patches of dirt adorned his perfectly marble like skin. He was dressed in a dingy, worn overcoat and gloves that left his thin fingers exposed. Grace grimaced a little. He gave her an unsettling smile and pulled his lips back a little too far over his teeth. 

“Right. This way,” he said as he walked off down the alleyway. Grace rolled her eyes and followed him internally thinking Shields up. He took her through dark street after dark street until the sun started to get low and he veered off to his left, pulling open two cellar doors that were sunken into the alleyway. He descended down the stone steps into the darkness and Grace groaned. She was walking into a vampire den, clear as day, and if Sam or Paul or any of the pack members found out, she’d be crucified. She followed after Alastor into the dark, damp cellar until she found herself in a worn and disheveled den. Literally. She had to almost stop herself from laughing at the irony. 

It was scattered with remnants of paper, old CDs, actual trash, and tattered linens with questionable stains. Alastor was rummaging through some dresser drawers on the far wall. 

“When Carlisle had told me of his little predicament, it had reminded me of this book I had come across centuries ago in a deserted library. It detailed the legends of bloodsuckers, the immortal way, and the children born from them.” Grace raised an eyebrow still taking in the dank surroundings as the bare bulb in the center of the room cast eerie shadows. “He was very interested in such a book, and lucky for him I nicked it some 300 years ago. Ah!” he cried pulling a slender, small book out from his drawer. He looked upon it lovingly, “It’s given me solace, to understand the monster that I am, how I’m perceived, and how legends tell us more truth about ourselves than anything else.” 

Grace didn’t respond. His eyes, black as ink, drew her in momentarily. She felt an odd tickling at the back of her neck. A warning? 

“But for all his goodness, Carlisle is nothing if not gullible to the real fault of humans,” he was on her now, terribly close and she careened back, her back slamming into the wall behind her. Her head hit the stone with a thud and she felt warmth trickle there. When she felt the back of her head, she pulled back a small amount of blood, but it was enough. Alastor’s hand was suddenly outstretched, closed around her throat and slowly crushing her windpipe. Grace, taken off guard, gasped for breath, gripping Alastor’s wrist with one hand as her other fought for purchase on the wall behind her to give her leverage. She was turning blue. 

Alastor’s eyes were gleaming, his mouth wide open in hunger and just as quickly, “Just a taste,” he teased cruelly. 

Grace squeaked out a suffocated, “I wouldn’t,” before bringing her free hand up, pulling her energy hard and fast, slicing down like a knife in front of her and severing Alastor’s outstretched arm at the elbow. She frantically pulled at the hand that still loosely gripped her neck and cast it aside with a clatter. Alastor let out a howl of pain and was momentarily thrown off balance. Grace leaned down to scoop up the small book and sprinted for the staircase. Once out in the cool, dark air, she wasted no time recasting back to Forks. 

Falling forward on her knees in the forest, Grace coughed and tried to regain her breath. She drew in ragged breaths, but the pain was excruciatingly sharp. It felt like someone had dragged glass shards down her throat. Grace checked to make sure she had the book pocketed in her jacket before pulling herself up with a groan and stumbling toward the Cullen’s. That was the last time she volunteered to meet up with one of Carlisle’s sketchy ass friends. 

As she broke out of the treeline and onto the Cullen’s driveway, she was starting to  wheeze. Coming down from the front steps was Jacob. Panicked, Grace tried to gain her composure. His face looked furious, dark, and he was lost in thought until he looked up and saw Grace coming toward him. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. Grace nodded thinking she was in the clear but as she got closer to brush past him his eyes went wide:

“Grace what the HELL!” He stepped in front of her and his hands went to roughly touch her neck. Grace flinched painfully and wheezed out: “Jake, take it easy.” Her voice was raspy and cut in and out like changing channels on a tv. 

“Sorry,” he breathed, his hands soft on her neck now inspecting the clear red welts of hand print there. “What the fuck happened?!” Suddenly he was taking a deep breath, the coppery scent clear now, and his eyes shot up to her head, “Are you bleeding?!” his eyes were roving up and down her body, desperately searching for where the smell of blood was coming from. 

“Jacob,” she whispered, trying to even her wheezing. “I’m fine, let me just—” she tried to move past him, but his hand was firm on her upper arm holding her in place. His other hand reached and softly touched the back of her head, pulling back wet blood. His eyes were wide with anger now, furious, and filled with absolute disgust. 

“Who did this?” he growled. His whole body was shaking and his eyes were alight with something she hadn’t seen in months. 

“Can I go inside please?” she asked, tired. She wasn’t losing a lot of blood, but the smell was starting to make her just a little bit dizzy. He nodded snapping out of it and wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he led her up the steps and into the Cullen house. 

Carlisle was there instantly trying to assess her, but Jacov’s reflexive growl told him to keep his distance.

“Jacob may I?” he asked politely. Jake wasn’t letting go and Grace had to gently peel his fingers off her shoulder to be released. His anger only ticked up as Grace sat down wincing as Carlisle gently parted her hair where the wound was. “Esme, please get my kit,” he said, lifting Grace’s chin up and looking closely at her throat. She was gone and back in an instant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think Alastor would be in bad shape.” 

“This was for you?!” Jacob said, rage racketing up in him now. Grace gave Carlisle a warning look, upset that he had said anything. 

“Jake, I’m fine, really. Look,” she whispered, her voice raspy and weak. She held up her finger and followed her eyes as she moved her finger back and forth across her face. Jacob was not placated. He seethed, watching her with clenched fists as his chest rose and fell quickly with every passing breath. 

She reached in her pocket to hand Carlisle the book. “Thank you,” he said quietly as he took it from her and then deftly grabbed some tools to start working on cleaning, disinfecting, and stitching up Grace’s head. “Should just need a couple of stitches. Can you breathe alright?” he asked as he listened to her wheezing. She nodded even though it caused severe discomfort. As he finished the stitches and moved to look at her neck again, he gently pressed on the sides of her throat. Grace let out a soft, involuntary, whimper. Her eyes shot up to meet with Jacob’s and his face had changed. It was desperate, intermixed with anger—he couldn’t handle it, seeing her like that. Carlisle met her eyes and said “You’ve definitely got some swelling and bruising around the windpipe, but the muscle feels intact.” 

At this, there was a huge crash that caused Grace to jump. Rosalie was in the room now, having heard the noise, looking around quickly for the threat. One of the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the forest in the living room was completely shattered. Jacob had thrown his wolf body through it and darted off into the forest. Grace braced against the chill that crept in. 

“Sorry about that,” Grace wheezed. Carlisle gave her a reassuring smile. 

“I’m sorry about this. I shouldn’t have asked you to go. I thought...It doesn’t matter,” he said. He dashed and was back with a warm compress from his study that he gingerly fixed around Grace’s neck. “This should help with the swelling at least until your healing kicks in. Let’s get you up to the guest room,” he said softly. 

“Can someone actually give me a ride home?” her mouth was dry and the pain in her head was slowly subsiding but she was worried about the pack, about Jake. 

“Of course, we’ll take you home right away.” 

Grace carefully climbed the steps to her front door and gave Carlisle a wave as she went inside, shutting the door behind her. She let out a sigh of relief and pulled the compress off her neck as she climbed the stairs to her room. She clumsily pulled off her jeans and grabbed at a loose shirt that was hanging from her closet door. After pulling off her sweatshirt, t-shirt, and bra, she pulled on the oversized t-shirt and revelled in it’s warm cedar-like smell before collapsing on her bed and passing out, her phone buzzing wildly in the back pocket of her discarded jeans. 

Early muted sun came in through her porthole window above the bed. Distant thunder roiled somewhere outside. Grace groaned and rolled onto her side, slowly opening her eyes. She let out a quick gasp as her eyes put together the figure of Jacob, sitting low in the chair next to the bed that was usually piled with laundry.

“Fuck, Jacob,” she said softly. Her voice was rough, but the rasp was gone and she pulled in cool, clean breaths with ease. She tentatively brought a hand up to her neck and gingerly pressed it. The pain was gone and only a dull ache like a bruise remained. She felt better, but didn’t try to get up, resettling her head on the pillow to get a better look at Jake. His face was dark, brooding. His eyes were alight with fresh upset but it didn’t feel solely directed at her. 

“What were you thinking?” he said, his voice filled with disdain. Grace let her eyes rove over him carefully taking in his shape. She hadn’t been alone with him in her room since before she broke them. The feeling was strangely intimate and Grace didn’t let herself settle in it too long. 

“We’re trying to figure this thing out and I want some answers. For Bella,” she said simply her eyes glued to his face now. He had a hand resting lightly over his mouth and Grace silently wished that he would drop it so she could stare at his lips and remember every shape they took. 

“Do you have a death wish? Sam is…” Jacob stalled, his eyes locking more concretely with Grace’s now as he silently tried to communicate with her. She got simple flashes, Sam on his hind legs, rocketing back, snarling and snapping, the rising of howls moving around the forest, a volley of commands that she couldn’t quite make out.

“Yeah well..” Grace sighed sitting up now. Jacob’s eyes moved down the length of her body not covered by the sheet. “What?” she said quietly. 

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he said with relief. As if the realization gave him something special, clarity that he wasn’t expecting. She was confused by his tone and looked down to pluck at the shirt with her fingertips. 

“Oh. I was out of it when I got back.” She rubbed her hands over her eyes and gave a low yawn. 

“Grace you don’t get it, he—” Jacob was cut off by a crescendo of howls coming through the forest, his eyes snapped up and Grace looked out her window alarmed. 

Get down here. NOW. 

Grace heard the clear command in Sam’s voice and quickly jumped out of bed, alarm bells ringing her head. Something was wrong. The howls were clearly pained, as if they pulled against the voice that dragged them forward. 

Jake had already phased and had dashed into the forest. Grace quickly dressed and recast to his location, realizing too late that she was barefoot. The cool earth pricked at the warm soles of her feet as she stood in front of the towering black wolf. 

Jake was mingled in with the pack, nipping at Seth and Quil to stay back. Grace steadied herself as she looked up at Sam and felt the heat of his anger rolling off his body. 

Time and time again, you put this pack on the brink. You put each of us in danger with your recklessness. Going out there alone and putting your life at risk on an errand for a bloodsucker?! The disregard for your own life means I can’t trust you to help protect this pack.

Grace’s heart rate ticked up. Thunder crashed just offshore and the hair on the back of her neck rose. Whimpering sounds from the pack echoed behind Sam. 

“I’m trying to keep Bella alive and keep a war from starting.” Grace said simply. Her hands felt that familiar pain and she clenched and unclenched them into fists. 

You can no longer be trusted to have good judgement when it comes to the Cullens or Bella. And the Cullen’s clearly have you compromised if you’re out there doing their bidding. I won’t let it continue and have one of ours end up dead because of your clouded judgement. 

Grace’s eyes darted around to the pack now, unsure of what to do.  But Sam wasn’t backing down. He padded toward her, his muzzle open in a clear snarl, all teeth. 

You will either come under heel and submit to Alpha orders like everyone else here. Or you will be cast out and we will come after you if you interfere with us taking care of the threat. 

Grace swallowed hard. “So you’re going to kill Bella then, that’s your plan?” 

I tell you that you have two choices to maintain your connection to this pack—YOUR DESTINY—and instead you ask about if we’re going to kill Bella. It makes me sick!

At this, Sam lunged at her, his mouth open in a clear attack. Grace pushed her body back as she pulled energy up in front her, eyes wide. She went crashing back into the woods and came to halt once she slammed against a tree. 

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Grace shouted as she scrambled to her feet and rushed back into the clearing. There was a squabble of fighting amongst the wolves behind Sam. Their dissent was quickly quieted with a swift command from him. 

Choose. I won’t ask again. Sam was livid. This was beyond insane. The weight of this alpha command was stronger than any she had felt before and her body begged her to obey, desperate for relief. She felt the strain of it in the back of her head, the muscles surrounding her skull tightening dangerously, willing her to submit. But she pulled against it. There was no way she was going to let her pack murder her sister and her unborn baby. They meant too much and the pack meant too much. She’d never let them become those kinds of monsters. She gritted her teeth and leveled Sam’s gaze. 

“No.” she said between clenched teeth. There was another round of howls, whimpers, snaps, and snarls at her defiance. Sam recoiled, his ears back in clear anger. 

Enough. Fan out toward the Cullen’s. Don’t stop. Sam said.

We’re going to kill her?! 

Sam, wait please. 

Grace don’t do this.

There’s no other way, we have to kill this thing. Bella’s made her choice. 

Jacob do something! Seth’s voice was loud and clear as Sam charged toward Grace. The pack was held back by their alpha orders. Grace pulled up her energy as a shield again, teeth still gritted, digging her feet in and taking Sam’s blows as he battered against her again and again, pushing her back shouting: 

YOU. WILL. LISTEN. TO. ME. 

Jacob felt a sharp ripple move through him as he watched Sam advance on Grace again and again. She wouldn’t push Sam back, she wouldn’t hurt him—Jacob didn’t know if she was capable of hurting them in their wolf form or if something in her held her back. Still, she wouldn’t return the attack. Jake could see that she would lose. There was no way she could keep this up for long. Not after multiple alpha commands dragging her down while trying to keep herself standing against his barrage of attacks.

A ripping growl grew in the back of his throat as he watched, the chaos around him was shredding his sanity into pieces. Sam wouldn’t stop, Jacob knew that. 

Sam thought that Grace was putting them in danger and that he needed to protect them. But Jacob knew killing Bella wasn’t the answer either, and bringing Grace under Sam’s heel would backfire, it’s not how Grace felt the bond worked. 

Every time he hit her shield of energy, the sound crunched louder and louder, intermixed with his snarls and snaps. The crescendo of wolf thoughts wouldn’t cease either as they all escalated into panic. Jake was boiling over and he just wanted it to stop. 

Sam crashed into Grace in one final blow and her shield fell. She was pushed back up against a tree and slowly slipped down the trunk. Sam raised himself up on his hind legs to bring himself down upon her again, a paw raised with claws extended. An echo screamed through Jacob’s head, long forgotten and buried deep in his psyche. He felt pushed forward by unseen hands as his body sprinted toward Grace. 

Once he had rocketed toward her, the cries and shouts of his brothers went quiet as he launched himself at Sam’s broad back. 

His jaws grabbed around Sam’s shoulder. H was caught unaware and in his panic, Sam threw his head back snapping wildly to try and toss him off. But Jacob was strong, stronger than he thought, and he pulled him backwards onto the ground. Sam twisted out his grip and Jake moved his body in front of Grace as she pulled herself up, her breath quick and sharp. 

“Jake, don’t.” Grace said softly. He growled and widened his stance, blocking Grace from Sam’s view.

Get out of the way. Sam growled.

No. Jake shouted back. Sam’s ears went back and suddenly at his tone. Startled, Jacob realized he couldn’t hear anything, just his own quick breath as Sam narrowed his eyes on him again. 

What did you do?! Sam screamed.

You gave me no choice. This is not who we are, Sam. This is not who you are. 

What did you DO?! He lunged for Jacob and as Grace cried out. Jacob shook Sam’s muzzle off of his neck and beared down on him, crushing his ribs under his paws. Sam yelped as Jacob dug in and chomped harder, the other wolves pacing frantically behind him. 

I won’t let you hurt her. She’s under my protection now. SAY YOU UNDERSTAND! The command was clear and Sam yelped again, struggling harder against his tightening grip. 

I understand! Sam finally yelled out. Jacob released him immediately and Sam retreated to his pack. 

You’ve made a mistake, Jacob. You’ve destroyed this pack. We can’t come back from this. 

Jacob had had enough. He turned to give Grace a look that she acknowledged and she recast away deeper into the forest. Jacob would find her soon enough. 

The other pack members whined, confusion clear in their eyes. Jacob took one last look at them and took off as desperate howls rang out.

He ran in the direction that Grace went, knowing she’d be waiting for him. He saw her ahead in the clearing and quickly phased, pulling on his jean shorts before walking into the clearing. He let his eyes fall to the ground, realization sinking into him. His pack, his brothers, Leah, they were lost to him. Grace spun around, her eyes wild in shock:

“Did you just become alpha?!” Her voice was strained, shattered. He raised his eyes to her and in that moment everything stopped. A hush fell over the forest, unnaturally void of the chirps and rustling of the in its floor. The light seemed to glitter around them and the air grew thick and heavy despite the January cold. The thunder that had sounded off shore, clattered around them, lacing the air with electricity that splintered out and set their nerves on fire. 

Grace pulled in a sharp breath. The dangling thread that had snapped in her when Jake had left suddenly reacted, shooting down through her body like a steel cable and snapping to the forest floor. She felt grounded, tethered to the earth, but more than that, she felt tethered to him. The rushing noise was already washing through her, the immense pressure building and finally exhaling around her. The pull in her stomach rejoiced in an exalted sigh of pleasure as it said, Yes, it’s you. Finally. 

Jacob was stone in front of her, his eyes wide with understanding. It was her. The soul that had been calling out to him all this time had been hers and deep down he thought he always knew. It was like finally turning over a stone and revealing the glittering life beneath. Like pulling a relief of air into a stifling room, the cool rush of understanding washing over his too hot body. His mind buzzed with recognition: Grace, his imprint. 

Like a magnet, her pull begged her to move closer, but all Grace could get out was a soft, “Oh.” as they stared at each other. The sound suddenly returned to the forest, teeming with life and becoming all too loud. Tears welled around the bottom of her eyes as she became overcome with joy. The ancestor’s hadn’t forgotten about her. 

She held herself in place, waiting for his cue. His mouth opened and closed before he finally said, “Grace.” Calling her to him.

Grace sprinted forward. 

[notquitecanon]

Ohhhh or maybe one where the reader just makes jasper talk for a while just cuz she adores his accent 🥺

Jasper could feel your bad mood from outside your house- he was always so attuned you you. If his abilities were anymore developed he would probably be able to see your mood like a dark storm cloud hovering outside of your bedroom. Alice had a vision in the middle of their hunt of how your day would go, but with the sunny weather and the face they were already in the Canadian wilderness- he could do nothing but hope it wasn’t too bad. After stopping by his house to change clothes, he made a beeline to the tree line that surrounded your yard like a natural property line. He’d seen your silhouette in your window starting at five pm, but couldn’t make a move until the sun had gone down. The last thing his family needed was Chief Swan getting called because your neighbor caught him climbing into your window. The moment the sun dipped below the tree line, he raced up and into your bedroom.

You had been wallowing in self pity: already showered, in pajamas, and lying face down in bed with your computer playing some of your music quietly. The moment he crossed into your room, you felt his presence like a calming wave washing over you. Eyes fluttering shut as some of the tension left your body, you muttered, “Jasper.”

“Evenin’ Darlin.” His voice was like honey-warm, sweeter than sugar, slow, and sticky. Drawing you into his words and keeping you there while he lingered on the edge of your room. Ever the gentleman, waiting for your invitation. Prying your head out of your pillow, you faced him.

While you observed his freshly glowing golden eyes, slightly disheveled blonde hair, statuesque posture, and heavenly face- he did the same, taking in your tense muscles, dark under eye bags, flushed cheeks, and the general feeling of resignation and annoyance in your emotional map. He didn’t fail to notice you’d been crying- you didn’t fail to notice that he noticed. You were the first to break the silence, adjusting yourself to meet his eyes easier, “Good hunt?”

Jasper breathed a quiet laugh, such an abnormal question asked so nonchalantly, but entertained the notion nonetheless, “Most of us went up into Canada, into the mountains. Emmet took on a pretty big grizzly so he’s in a particularly good mood. I got a Moose and a couple deer.”

You didn’t know what truly constituted a “good hunt” but his thirst seemed appeased so you nodded. The head ache that came after a long day hadn’t put you in a particularly chatty mood. Jasper filled the silence, “Alice told me you had a bad day- well, told me you would have a bad day. I’m sorry I couldn’t help, doll.”

Shaking your head, you brought your knees up to your chest before wrapping your arms around them, “Not your fault, Jazz, bad days happen.”

There was a beat of silence as the two of you stared at each other, him trying to dissect every emotion you were feeling and you mentally begging him to just drop it. Finally, you just patted the spot beside you, motioning for him to join you. Talking waant something you wanted to do, but just having him close would be a big step towards feeling better.

As always, the vampire had a hard time saying no to you. So with the mattress dipping beside you, he easily slid beside you- staying perfectly still until you were situated. As usual, you bunched up a blanket where you cheek would rest against his chest- thick enough to cushion against his stone chest but thin enough to be close enough to smell the comforting scent he always had on him. Cologne, cedar, leather, something woodsy, and a sweet scent you could never quite put a finger on. After letting you settle, he looked down to you, “Wanna talk about it, sugar?”

He felt you shake you head before you nestled closer to him, so he just wrapped his arm around you alternating between tracing patterns up you arm and running cold, graceful fingers through your hair. One of your arms flopped across him just to have more phsyical contact, and Jasper frowned out of your sight. Besides truly changing your emotions (which felt invasive), he didn’t know how else to help. So for the moment, he just let you curl into him. Golden eyes raked across the room before landing on a book on your nightstand so without jostling you, he easily snatched it up.

Not bothering to read the synopsis, he began flipping through the first chapter- quickly becoming amused at the scandalous historical fiction set during the Civil War in Mississippi. Now that he thought about it, he remembered Angela passing it off to you during third period. He chuckled at a particularly inaccurate and racy part. His laughter was deep and reverberated through his hard chest which roused you, at your movement, he tried to quiet himself, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. This book is just so terrible.”

His amusement made it hard not to smile as you tried to snatch the book out of his hands, the racy novel had been on lend from Angela and after the second chapter had been collecting dust on your nightstand. He easily kept it out of your reach, amusement growing at your protest (and quiet proud that he’d got you laughing again, he could already feel your mood lightening up). Listening to his laughter made you long to hear him talk in the smooth southern accent, about anything (anything other than that awful book), “Well, if the book isn’t up to par, how about you tell me what it was really like?”

As his chuckling was dying off, he thought about it before tossing the book back on the nightstand. It wasn’t that his past was an off limits topic, there was just a lot of it and he preferred to live in the moment with you. But you were staring up at him with hopeful eyes, and he could feel the remnants of sadness and frustration so he just nodded. “Well, first of all Mississippi didn’t see battle until The Spring of 1862, and union soldiers didn’t make any head way until a year later. So the notion that a this woman met a union soldier celebrating victroy in New Albany is just wrong. Even if it was true, she wouldn’t be so eager to fall into any soldiers tent considering Conderate troops would of torched her father’s plantation for being a sympathizer or vice versa.”

“Hmmm.” You hummed in response to the history lesson, before he continued going back and forth between learned history and personal experience until he hit where he was changed. You’d heard this story, traced the silvery scars on his arms, so once he went quiet you didn’t press any further. “So where were you at the turn of the century?”

“I was still with Maria, we were going back and forth across the border in Texas and New Mexico, I honestly didn’t now it was the new century until 1905, but we were the cause of the Austin Dam failure.” He mused, thinking pack, “I left shortly after the start of the First World War, to search for my friend Peter and because I was tired of fighting Maria’s battles- she starting to lose trust in me and me in her.”

You’d heard him talk about Peter and Charlotte, the only two he ever let escape, “Did you find him?”

“No, not until the late 1930’s, so I mostly just wandered around the South and the West as a nomad. The roaring twenties were fun between Chicago and Mexico City, I’d like to go back to New Mexico someday.” He thought aloud, cold lips ghosting on the crown of your head as his grip on you tightened ever so slightly. The hand laid over him searched for his so you could intertwine you fingers with him. He squeezed for a moment before detaching just to play with you fingers, burning hot compared to his cold touch.

“Where’d you go next?” You asked, letting him gently tug and curl your fingers with his. Jasper laughed bringing your knuckles up to his lips. When he had just fed, it was so much easier to be so close- which is where he preferred to be.

“You’re mighty full of question tonight, ma’am.” He teased, dropping you hand in favor of lightly digging his fingers into your side. The quiet squeal, laughter, and weak attempts at fighting him off was so delightfully human that he couldn’t help but do it every now and then. Jasper gave you a moment to calm down before continuing, “I spent some time in Tennessee and then Kentucky, the Great Depression hit those areas pretty hard, but it was better than being involved in a territory war.”

“Peter and Charlotte ran into me in the Appalachian mountains- that would be the late 30’s- it was easier to hunt without gaining attention up there.” He paused to gauge you reaction, carefully checking for any fear. Finding none, he sighed in relief before continuing, “They told me about Coven’s in the North, how there weren’t many territory disputes and how in some areas they could even go out in day light...”

You let your eyes slip closed, tension melting as you listened to his honeyed words, and his fingers toyed with your hair. Jasper kept going, talking about traveling with Peter and Charlotte through the Midwest and Northern states before breaking off from them too. Then it was the Fifties, going into a diner and meeting Alice. You’d always envied Alice a bit for her closeness to Jasper, even though you knew neither of them felt that way for each other, but you were also incredibly grateful to her- who knows where Jasper would be without her.

“I remember she said that I’d kept her waiting long enough and I thought to myself I’ve never seen this woman in my life, but I sat down with her regardless and she told me about ‘vegetarianism’ and our future family. I could feel her excitement but I thought she was crazy.” He laughed to himself, a beautiful sound. You’d heard this story a few times from him and Alice. “I was about to go on my way, leave Alice in the wind when she told me something I couldn’t ignore.”

You perked up, neither of them had ever mentioned this part of the story. Craning you’re neck up, you saw he was watching you expectantly with a soft smile tugging those perfect lips up- waiting for a reaction, “She told me that she’d seen me with my soulmate and her future family. She couldn’t tell me when, or where, or how, but she’s seen it and I had to trust her. She felt so sincere and I’d been lonely for so long that I left with her that very afternoon.”

You sat up very suddenly, blood rushing to your cheeks ass you turned around to him, “Jasper, you’ve never told me that before! What are you doing with me then?”

Jasper couldn’t help but grin at the flash of indignation and feisty anger, but quickly frowned when it morphed to hurt. His movement was much faster and infinitely more graceful than yours as you took your face in his hands, “You were the girl in the vision, (Y/N), you’re what I’ve been waiting for.”

It was like someone pulled a plug on your negative emotions as they drained out to be replaced by jittery happiness, and he didn’t need his brother’s telepathy to see the wheel’s turning in your head, “Oh.”

Meanwhile, you were trying to figure out the appropriate reaction to being told your someone’s soulmate. You’d never really imagined life without Jasper, you’d long since admitted to yourself that he was the love of your life, “Well, I’m glad you believed her otherwise I could be with Mike Newton right now.”

It was a bad joke, but he laughed nonetheless and pulled you back down with him, now wrapping both arms around you-effectively trapping you to his chest, but you had no reason to be afraid or even attempt to break free. There was a long pause of silence, him sending off soothing vibes, (it was getting pretty late) listening to the sound of your heartbeat as it slowed, and waiting for you to doze off. It did surprise him when you spoke back up.

“Where’d you go next?” It was quiet, sleepy, but a request he wouldn’t deny. He’d pay you back by asking a hundred inane question about your childhood tomorrow.

Pulling your comforter over the two of you, he adjusted you to what would be a more comfortable sleeping position. He continued, “Well, in took a few years but eventually we met Carlisle who welcomed us to the family with open arms. It took a bit to adjust to the new life of going to highschools and colleges, being around humans. Alice would occasionally drop little hints about you, your hair color, eye color, things you would do in her visions, and that was enough to encourage me to stay with it.”

You only hummed in response, turning over a bit as you let him nudge you towards sleep. Jasper was more than surprised when you made it to the mid-seventies without falling asleep, but was satisfied that he could no longer read any anger or frustration on you. Brushing a lock of hair out of your sleeping face, he silently laughed at your unconscious reaction to his cold touch. Yes, he had waited nearly sixty years for you.

“Good night, darlin’. I love you.”

Bad moods and all, he’d wait a hundred years more for moments like these.

[bonjour-rainycity]

The Long Way Around ~ Chapter 9

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623575983503638528/the-long-way-around-chapter-8-link-to-previous

Pairing: Jasper x Reader 

Word count: 2990

Warnings: None

Y/n’s POV

On the way to the waterfall, I’d done some thinking and come to the unfortunate conclusion that my feelings for Jasper are much more than I originally realized. Previously, any and all feelings I had towards him I interpreted as those I would feel towards a best friend. But I’ve never felt like this towards my best friends before.

Once I’d come to this conclusion, my outing with Jasper became a struggle. I’d had crushes before as a human, but nothing as intense as this and nothing even close to the risk involved when your crush can literally feel your feelings. I had to work so hard to keep myself in check. Jasper didn’t do much to help. He couldn’t have picked a more romantic location, for one. Seeing him doused in water, sparkling in the moonlight and the rising sun didn’t do anything to make me reconsider his beauty. I’d taken special care not to look at his body, knowing the attraction I, and then he, would feel. I’d slipped up once or twice, and I desperately hope he didn’t notice.

And the necklace. Gosh, if he even knew how perfect it is….I’ve never owned anything like it, and the fact that he remembered all those little things from so long ago…well, it makes me feel things.

But I need to keep those feelings under control.

Yes, he’s my best friend and yes, he’s incredibly good to me, but Jasper is way out of my league. Any interest he has in me will be fleeting, especially given how he must view me. I’m wild, barely controlled, a danger to society and monsters alike. Just the differences in our eye color show how incompatible we are. Mine are red, vicious, deadly. His are golden, like melting honey or a dazzling sunset. He doesn’t suddenly become deranged at the thought of human blood. He doesn’t try to hurt the people he owes everything to the minute he smells a human. He’s not weak.

From my side, Jasper eyes me but doesn’t say anything. I swallow the venom in my mouth and try to force my bitterness down with it. As if I needed such a tangible reminder of our incongruity.

Thankfully, it’s only a few minutes before we smell the herd of deer. From the corner of my eye, I watch as he swiftly takes down a doe. He’s so graceful. My own kills are sloppy, desperate. I could never measure up.

Jasper approaches, careful not to startle me in my hunting state. “Are you okay?”

I nod, quickly trying to think of something to say that could explain my sudden moroseness. “I’m just frustrated that my eyes are still so red. I want them to be like yours—the whole family’s,” I correct quickly.

Jasper smiles knowingly. “It takes about a year for all the human blood to leave your system. Only six months to go. But I think,” he takes a step closer to me and peers into my eyes with exaggerated movements, “that I see a tiny bit of gold in them.”

My heart warms, and I do feel better, even if he’s obviously lying for my benefit. “I’m sure you do.”

He gives me a lopsided grin, and I find myself hoping to see more of those in the future.

Quickly, we wrap up our hunting and continue the journey home. About half a mile away from the house, Jasper skids to a stop, his arms flying out to grip me around the waist to cause me to stop, too.

“Something’s wrong.” His voice is calm, totally in contrast to the rod of fear that shoots through me. “It’s okay,” he assures, giving me a gentle squeeze. “Just stay by me.”

Not that I would need any encouragement. If I wasn’t so terrified, I might be able to enjoy the feeling of his hands on my waist, holding me close. But now is not the time, so I push those thoughts away. Instead, I focus on what I can hear, see, and sense around me. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I trust Jasper and his ability, so I stick close to him.

We approach the house slowly for vampires, carefully taking note of our surroundings. When we get to the back deck, Bella meets us outside, looking somber. Before we can ask, she waves us in, and we see Esme sitting in a kitchen chair, eyes screwed shut. She lets out a soft cry, signaling her pain.

“Esme,” I gasp, running to her.

She smiles stiffly, obviously not wanting anyone to worry about her. “It’s alight, it’s just a few little bites. The pain will go away soon.”

Hating seeing this kind, wonderful woman in pain but at a loss for what to do, I go to stand behind her and hug around her neck, letting my head rest on top of hers.

“What happened?” Jasper’s voice is tight, dangerous. I’ve never heard him sound like that before, and, if I didn’t know him so well, I would be scared of him.

Bella’s voice is quiet when she responds, so much so that I almost have to strain to hear her. “Esme went about thirty miles south for a quick hunt. She says another vampire, a female, came out of nowhere and attacked her.”

Just then, the front door bursts open. I jump, spooked.

But it’s just Carlisle, looking like he’s been torn apart. “My love, what happened?” He kneels in front of Esme, taking her hands in his. I pull back just a little to give them their space, though I don’t release my hands from Esme’s shoulders.

In a strained voice, Esme recounts what Bella had told us so far, and then continues. “The vampire came out of nowhere, Carlisle. I don’t know what I did to provoke her, but she seemed intent on finishing the fight. She only stopped when she heard Alice and Arthur coming to help me.” The pain in Esme’s voice is palpable. I can practically feel it in my own bones. I squirm, uncomfortable.

Carlisle doesn’t look any better off. He touches his forehead to Esme’s hands, breathing deeply. “I should’ve been there. You never should have had to go by yourself, I’m so sorry-”

“Carlisle, don’t be ridiculous. I should have known better than to hunt alone, really I-”

Jasper interrupts their pointless efforts to take blame. “Are Alice and Arthur still in pursuit?”

Bella nods. “And Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie. Hopefully they’ll pick up a trail.”

Jasper shakes his head, his mind quickly working through the situation. “It doesn’t make sense for someone to attack out of the blue. Do we have any clue as to her motivation?”

Now Esme shakes her head, looking dismayed. “Maybe I unknowingly entered someone else’s territory? Honestly, I thought we were the only coven for miles.”

Carlisle hushes her and strokes her hair gently. “It’s alright, darling, you just rest.”

But Esme smiles, placing a kiss on Carlisle’s head. “The pain is fading, my love. Don’t fret.”

Carlisle isn’t satisfied. “Would you like to go lie down? I can try to suck the venom out, maybe it hasn’t begun circulating yet.”

“I promise, the pain is barely there now. The vampire must not have bitten me very deeply.” Esme’s gaze softens and she takes Carlisle’s head in her hands. “But I would like to go lie down with you.”

Still seeming very concerned, Carlisle helps Esme up and begins to lead her out of the room.

It jolts us all when Esme lets out a yelp of pain and stumbles. Carlisle immediately swoops her up into his arms, looking absolutely gutted. “I would prefer to try and get the venom out.”

Teeth gritted, Esme nods. “Yes, I agree.” Quickly, Carlisle ascends the stairs, leaving just Jasper, Bella, and I in the kitchen.

Once Esme is out of the room, my discomfort fades, much to my guilt.

Bella’s phone rings, and she quickly takes the call, speaking lowly. When she’s done, she speaks loud enough so Carlisle and Esme can hear her from upstairs.

“That was Edward. They lost the trail of the vampire about a hundred miles south of where Esme was attacked. They’ll be back soon.”

I nod, still feeling terribly down. Poor Esme. Seeing the pain so plainly expressed by her made me feel terrible for the similar bites I’d inflicted on Edward and Jasper. Almost instantly, my guilt disappears, and I turn my head to Jasper, who’s looking at me with concern and curiosity. I don’t offer an explanation though, not quite ready to be so vulnerable in front of Bella, especially as it had been her husband who was one of my victims.

Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice my mood. Instead, she leans over, getting a better look at the necklace peeking out over my shirt.

“That’s gorgeous. When did you get it?”

Unable to stop the smile or the feeling of warmth that arises, I let it flow freely. He has a right to know how happy his gift made me. “Jasper gave it to me, actually. Isn’t it just perfect?” I carefully pull the necklace forward, allowing her to see it more fully.

Jasper looks uncomfortable with the attention, but pleased overall.

The three of us spend the next forty minutes idly chatting and doing our best to give Esme privacy to recuperate. Not too much later, the five other members of the family get back to the house. Carlisle and Esme come down then. Thankfully, Carlisle had been able to get some of the venom out, so she seems much more comfortable now. At Carlisle’s direction, we file into the dining room and take our places at the large, imposing table.

Alice begins, recounting how she had a vision of an unknown vampire choosing to attack Esme, reason also unknown, and she and Arthur rushed to help. Edward takes over, explaining that, once he and Emmett and Rosalie had gotten home from the library and Bella told them what had happened, they joined the pursuit. Only six out of the ten of us know the vampire’s scent, leaving Carlisle, Bella, Jasper, and I at a disadvantage.

“I say we continue our usual patterns but increase our precautions. The four of us who don’t know the scent shouldn’t be without someone who does. Also, stay in groups of at least three. We don’t want to risk being outnumbered.”

We all nod solemnly.

“Y/n, Jasper,” Carlisle continues, startling me with singling us out. “You were hunting north, how far did you go? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?”

I shift in my seat, knowing we’re about to be exposed for our lie. Thankfully, Jasper does the talking.

“We went about a hundred miles north, and we didn’t notice anything unusual. Although, we didn’t spend a lot of time covering ground hunting, so we really wouldn’t know much.” Is it my imagination, or does he look embarrassed? Ouch.

Emmett immediately expresses his intrigue. “Really? What could’ve been occupying your time then? A hundred miles north…alone?” There’s a teasing glint in his eye, but what’s even scarier is the real curiosity behind it.

Edward rolls his eyes. “Now is not the time, Emmett.”

“No, he’s got a point.” Rosalie holds up a hand, staring us down. “What were you two doing?”

I decide to give Jasper a break from always having to explain. “There’s a waterfall we wanted to see.”

Esme smiles, a strange look in her eye, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Just a waterfall?” Rosalie doesn’t seem convinced.

“And a pool,” I supply, defensive now.

Bella chimes in, seeming shy. “She got a very pretty necklace, too.”

Emmett claps his hands down on the table, staring at us like we’ve just given him a gift. “Now that’s interesting.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Carlisle comes to our aid, but even he wears a soft smile. “Remember the new rules and exercise good judgement. We need to be on our guard until we know more.”

With that dismissal, the family begins to leave the room. Emmett makes a beeline for me, likely to engage in more investigation and teasing, but I hurry to flag down Carlisle. There’s something I want to discuss with him.

“Do you have a minute,” I ask, feeling ridiculously nervous and insecure. I can feel Jasper’s gaze pricking at my back, but I don’t turn. I’m not sure if I could go through with my request if Jasper was sitting next to me, refined as he is. What I am about to ask is going to make me feel very, very, inferior.

“Of course,” Carlisle smiles, gesturing a hand forward. “Let’s go to my study.”

I follow him down the hall and take a seat across from his desk. Carlisle sits, folds his hands, then gazes at me kindly. “What can I do for you?”

I fidget. Carlisle gives me the time I need to breathe and work up the courage. Bless him.

Finally, I just spit the words out. “I was wondering if you would help me get better with my self-control.”

His politeness never falters. “I think you are doing very well already, Y/n, rest assured.”

I sigh. “Thank you, but I want to do better. I want to be able to leave the house and-and go to the library or at the very least, think about human blood without-” Like clockwork, the venom pools in my mouth. I wave a hand, knowing Carlisle is aware of it.

He nods slowly, contemplating. “You have a point, we can’t keep you locked up here forever.” He throws me a kind smile. “I could bring some blood home from the hospital. It has been frozen and stored, so it won’t be anywhere near as potent as it would be inside a living being. That might be a good place to start. Once you get used to that, perhaps we can go near popular hiking areas or the edge of town so you can slowly ease yourself into interacting with humans.”

I smile, endlessly grateful to Carlisle for taking my request seriously and being willing to help me. “Thank you.” I hesitate, not sure if it’s rude to ask what I want to know. Then again, Carlisle probably wouldn’t deny me any information. So I ask. “How long did it take everyone else to be okay around humans?”

Carlisle smiles, thankfully not offended by my question. “It varies greatly from person to person. Everyone is ‘born’, if you’ll excuse my terminology, with varying dispositions to certain aspects of this new life, just as humans are born and grow to find certain areas of life easier for them than others. For me, self-control was never a question of if, but when. It took me nearly two centuries, but now I can be around human blood flowing freely and barely feel a thing. Edward was fairly quick to gain control, and I suspect hearing the thoughts of those he wished to kill aided in his success. I wager it’s hard to kill someone if you’re so starkly aware of their humanity. Esme and Emmett both struggled, and will be the first to admit they slipped up many times. But they put in the work and have gotten much better in the last forty years. The true stars of us all are Rosalie and Bella. Only mere weeks after her transformation, Rose was able to be around bleeding humans and resist the temptation. Bella once began chasing after a human, and then stopped. Both of them are remarkable.” I can hear the respect in his voice, and wonder just how hard it was for him in his early years. He continues. “Alice, Arthur, and Jasper came to us later in their lives, so we weren’t with them to experience the newborn stage. Both Alice and Arthur were vegetarians from the start, with moderate success, and they’ve gotten much better since. Of all of us, Jasper struggles the most.” This surprises me. I never would’ve guessed. To me, Jasper seems so controlled, so refined, so advanced.

I’m unable to curb my curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“Am I correct in assuming you know about Jasper’s past?” I nod, remembering easily the horror stories from Jasper’s younger years. Carlisle continues. “Then you will know that, for over seventy years, Jasper survived solely on human blood, the longest of any of us.” I nod again. I’d known this, too. “When Jasper found us and learned of our lifestyle, he was very curious and committed to changing. But, seventy years of living one way is impactful. It’s nearly a human’s entire lifetime. Jasper became very accustomed to the taste, temptation, and satisfaction of human blood. For the longest time, the memory and temptation of it tortured him. He slipped up a few times, but at each and every point made a choice to come back to our lifestyle. Much like Edward, it’s hard for him to know the feelings of the people he kills. It was destroying him. The animals, while less instinctively satisfying, provide a much more peaceful life for him.”

I let that information settle. Poor Jasper…My heart aches for him. The pain of experiencing death after death through the feelings of your victim…the torture of being surrounded by humans after a lifetime of feeding on them….I don’t know how he bears it.

Carlisle’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts. “All this to say, I honestly have no idea how long it will take you to be confident around humans. But please know that as long as you desire our help, we offer it freely.”

I smile, endlessly grateful for the benevolent vampire sitting across from me. “Thank you, Carlisle.” But my mind creeps back to Jasper, and I know that my next conversation must be with him.

A/n Hi again! I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself. Let me know what you thought of this chapter and if you would like to be added to the tag list!

xx, 

Bjr

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/624011835356626944/the-long-way-around-chapter-10

Tag list: @puer-de-infinitate @charliestuff @hindustani-diaspora @one-thread-can-save-a-life @salsameter @enchantedcruelsummer @meashy-moo @sana-li @femflorals @80strashbag

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

Hope Can’t Fix Everything

Jasper x Human!Reader

Warnings - Angsty, mention of blood

Summary - Jasper finds his mate, but it’s not all perfect.

Jasper Hale never planned for his life to go this way. He never planned to become a vampire or to live for eternity. But he always went along with it. No matter what fate tossed at him. Because he had hope. Hope guided him through all his years. It lead him to Alice who took him to the Cullens. Hope brought him a undead life he finally could be okay with it. But something was missing. His true love. He saw Emmet and Rose. Carlise and Esme. Edward and Bella. But he still was alone. He couldn't believe it. How could fate screw him over again. But even when it looked like fate forgot him. Alice reminded him to remember to have hope. To trust fate to bring him who he's looking for. And one day it finally died.

"Is this seat taken?"

Jasper's eyes moved from his paper to the person before him. They were beautiful. Absolutely stunning. They have no right to be this perfect.

"Hello?" They ask, "is it taken?"

"Uh no," Jasper says softly, "it's free." They smile lightly.

"Do you mind if I sit there?"

"No... I mean no I don't mind you can sit there," He says panicking lightly. They chuckle.

"You're cute," They say, "my names Y/n L/n. Yours?"

"Jasper Hale," He says softly.

"Jasper Hale," They say, "that is a nice name. You got lucky your parents loved you enough to give you a cool name." He chuckles lightly.

"I like your name," He says.

"Thanks," They say, "I hated it growing up. But it grew on me."

"Alright now that everyone is settled lets get started."

The feeling in Jaspers chest revealed it right away. This was his person. This was his mate. And to think they were just right there. So close. He felt excited for what was to come. But he was also terrified. He knew nothing about this person. But he knew one thing about them. His mate was human. Which made this about a hundred times harder.

When Jas got home that night Alice practically tackled him to the ground.

"Well?!" She exclaims.

"I found them," Jas says, "I found my mate."

The rest of the family looks wide eye at the boy. Happy for him. Sure but confused.

"Slight problem though," He says.

"What type of problem?" Bella asks.

"They are human."

This was something they weren't prepared for. Even after Bella and Edward. They always assumed that Jasper would end up with another vampire. Mostly because of his trouble with humans. But still it's not like he could change it now.

"So their human," Bella says, "so. I was human."

"Yeah Bella is right," Alice says, "they are your mate. You are destined to be together."

"Yeah Jasper," Emmet says, "you've been waiting for them for over a hundred years. I'm sure that a pulse isn't enough to stop you."

Jasper with his families' encouragement suddenly felt a lot better about the situation. He has his mate. The person he is destined to spend the rest of his life with. And they are right here. He'll do this right.

The next day he was waiting for them in his last class. Excitedly watching as they stride across the room to take the seat next to him.

"So why are you taking AP Environmental Science?" They ask Jasper, "what made you choose a class 9 other people choose?"

"I like science," He says, "and I wanted to study something new. What about you?"

"I'm a hippie," They say simply, "metal straws no plastic. Pure vegan." Jaspers smile drops lightly. His mate was a treehugger? He suddenly didn't know about this. "I'm totally kidding. My mom is a Environmental Lawyer and she signed me up for the class." He chuckles lightly.  "This class is a joke. You're lucky you joined halfway through it. Mr. Jones has been making us teach ourself since day one. So that fun little slideshow demonstration yesterday- don't get used to it."

"He doesn't teach?" Jasper asks, "why?"

"He's going through a divorce with his wife who also happens to be the Honors Anatomy Teacher," They explain, "since they filled for the divorce he's just been sitting at his desk sulking."

"Thats a shame," Jasper says.

"Yeah for our ap scores," They chuckle, "but don't worry I'll add you to the class group chat. What is your phone number?"

"Uh here," He says scribbling it down then handing it to them. They smile wide.

"Perfect," They say, "I'll add you to it. You'll get everything you need in it. Plus we have study sessions all the time and you get all the info for it in there."

"Thanks," He says, "thats awful nice of you."

"Anything for my fellow prisoner," They say, "besides without us there is no way you'd pass." Jasper chuckles. His mate moves to open their laptop and start working on something the teacher had sent for them. "So you have a big family?" They ask, "the ones who I always see you with right?"

"Yeah we were all adopted," He explains, "thats why-"

"You guys have people dating each other," They say, "I mean it's the talk of the school. The first interesting thing to happen in Evergreen since our prom queen killed our prom king."

"That happened?" Jasper asks.

"Yeah well that's what everyone thinks happen," They tell him, "I mean they never found a body and well Cassie and her family left town three days after Camden went missing. Anyways it happened a year ago. So now everyone's focus is on you guys. The Cullens."

"We are pretty used to it," He says, "we are a weird family so when we move to a new town we tend to get plenty of attention."

"Do you move a lot?"

"Uh kinda," Jasper answers, "just depends."

"Your dads a doctor right?" They ask, "what causes a doctor to move a lot?"

"We go where they need more doctors," Jasper answers, "apparently you guys were in some pretty desperate need." They chuckle.

"Yeah you can say that," They say, "we have a really small hospital so when Cassie's mom left we were down a doctor. You'd be surprised how bad losing one doctor is in a town like this."

"I can imagine," He says, "I mean it's a pretty big deal when you have one doctor."

"Tell me about it," They say.

The bell for the class rings signaling the end of school. They smile over at Jasper brightly. Then looks down to their phone. Jasper feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulls it out and smiles lightly.

Unknown- It's Y/n! Can't wait to get to know you

"If you need anything feel free to text me," They say.

"Hey Y/n lets go!" Some girl calls from the door.

"Yeah alright," They call to their friend then looks back to Jas, "I'll see you around Jasper."

As they move off Rose moves to Jaspers side with a smirk.

"They are cute," Rose says, "you should get on with it."

"Yeah sure," Jas says, "I'm trying okay."

The next couple days it seemed to go smoothly. They'd hang out at school text all night. It felt like everything was going right. So on Friday he decided to step it up a bit.

"Okay do you have any plans for tonight?" Jasper asks them.

"Uh no," Y/n says, "why? Wanna take me out on a date?"

"If you'll have me," He says, "a movie?"

"Sounds great," They say, "got any movie in mind?"

"I was gonna let you pick," He says. They move pulling their phone up. Then nod.

"Alright there is this horror movie called Until Sunrise and apparently its terrible," Y/n tells him, "we have to see it."

"You like horror movies?"

"I love horror movies," They tell him, "even more than that I love terrible horror movies. Ya know the ones that make you question if the writers were on bath salts while making them." He chuckles lightly. "If you don't like horror movies we have other options. But if it's just cause you're scared don't worry you can hold onto me for support."

"No that sounds great," He says, "do you need me to pick you up or do you just want to meet there?"

"We can meet. I'll see you there Jasper."

So he heads home to get ready. Explaining to his family that they were going to a movie. Bella tries to give him some tips for how modern human girls like their dates. Rose immediately tells Bella that Bella has no authority to talk because she was weird.

"I know what girls like-"

"Yeah from like 12 years ago," Rose says, "seriously think about it. Times have changed. Humans have changed since then."

"Okay so just be yourself,"  Alice recommends.

"He can't be himself his mate will run for the hills," Emmet says, "no you've got to be cool."

"Ignore him," Esme says, "just relax. Read the room."

"And remember to breath," Bella adds, "when you stop breathing it freaks people out. And blink."

"I remember to blink," Jasper says.

"No you really don't," Rose says, "so remember to do that."

"You should get going," Alice says, "you don't want to be late."

So He got to his car. As he drove he couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly nervous. What if he messes this up? What if he drives them away? Oh god. Suddenly his didn't know if he could go through with it anymore. But when he saw them sitting outside the theater staring up into the sky waiting patiently.  It all melted away. He climbs from his car heading towards them.

"Hey Y/n," He says.

"Hey Jas," They say, "you look nice."

"Thank you," He says, "you look beautiful." They smile lightly.

"Thank you," They say, "wanna head in?" Jas nods. Y/n moves lacing her fingers in his. The movie is terrible. Honestly. The two end up laughing through most of it. However Jas being able to hold their hand. Cling to them. It makes it the best date he's ever been on. It's one of the only dates he's ever been on.

One date turns to two. Turns into dating. It's going amazing. But he feels guilty.

"You still haven't told them?" Rose asks him carefully, "Jasper you have to tell them."

"I was planning to tell them," Jasper says.

"No you weren't," Edward says.

"Get out of my head Edward," Jasper says at once, "I'm tryin it's just. I don't want to ruin this ya know."

"If you don't tell them then you'll ruin it regardless," Emmet says, "I mean you can't not tell them."

"I know I know," Jasper says, "I'll tell them soon. Tonight. We have a date."

Before they can keep hassling him he leaves to go prepare for his date. His partner had talked him into going swimming in some lake. He didn't really care much for the later but when they suggest skinny dipping well he couldn't exactly say no to that.

He meets his partner at the lake. They are already in the water. Though apparently in a swim suit. They smile widely at Jasper as he makes his way towards them.

"Hey!" They call, "I was gonna wait but the water is really nice."

They move slipping out of the water to meet Jasper. Pulling him into a soft kiss.

"Come on," They say leading him into the water. He tosses aside his shirt then kicks off his jeans. Jumping in the water in his boxers. The vampire is thankful that the lake was shallow. It only went to chest meaning no awkward sinking of being the rock  solid vampire. They pull Jasper into another kiss. "I've missed you," They say as the break the kiss, "I'm not one for teen romance bullshit but... You are different."

"Well we were meant to be," Jasper says, "fate. Right Darlin?"

"Right," They say, "you are so right." They move kissing Jasper's jaw. "You are always talking about Fate. It's like you've been looking for me." They pull away from Jasper to sink into the water. Swimming away from him. Jasper smiles. If only they knew. The two move around the water playfully. He scoops his mate in his arms and playfully dunks them under the water. They come up laughing.

"Oh I'll get you for that Hale!" They scream. They splash the vampire with full force. He seems unfazed so they try again this time jumping on Jaspers back. He moves a little to roughly and knocks them back into the water.  They simply laugh for a second before they make a pained face. Then suddenly the smell of blood fills Jaspers senses. "Oh shit. I think I stepped on glass." Jaspers eyes shift to black. Pain and hunger filling him. His partner climbs from the water gentle moving to their pile of clothes hoping to address the wound. Jasper stares at his mate. Trying to keep himself in the water. Trying to relax. But the smell. The bloodlust rising in his stomach.

He moves towards his partner. Jumping to pin them down. They were shocked. Confused as to why this was happening.

"Jasper what are you doing?" They ask slightly startled. They start to move. But Jaspers firm grasp keeps them pinned down. His mouth opens. His fangs showing clear as day. Y/n tenses looking at her partner in pure terror. He looks like an animal. A monster. "Jas! Jas! What are you doing?!" They are thrashing under him. Trying to push him away. "Jasper get off of me!"

Jasper leans to his mates neck. His teeth scraping lightly.

"Jasper stop! Get off me you're scaring me!"

The boy moves starting to bite but before he can sink his teeth into her he's yanked off. He see's Edward and Emmet holding him back as he growls lightly.

"Jasper! Jasper stop!" Edward yells.

But he doesn't calm down until he sees his mate in Bella's arms sobbing violently. He feels his mates terror. It's suffocating. All his hunger melts into guilt and regret. What did he just do?

"Babe," He says softly. He moves yanking away from the two men.

"Get away from me!" They shout, "I don't want you anywhere near me you freak!"

"Darlin just let me explain-"

"No Jasper we are done!" They shout, "I don't want you anywhere near me."

"Darlin I-"

"You freak!"

Disgust. Thats all that's radiating from them. He watches as Y/n leaves. Bella walking with her. He ruined it. He lost his chance at his mate. He ruined his own life. All his hope for nothing. He could hope that in time they will let him back in but his hope can't fix anything. This time- hope isn't gonna be enough.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

1.11

warnings: This story contains content that could be problematic for one or the other. Among other things, the story may contain content about sex, late pregnancy, relationship with a large age difference, and others. Just because it's in the warnings doesn't mean these topics will appear, but they will definitely be covered in the story. The content of the story is fixed and doesn’t change. If you don't feel comfortable with these topics, then it's okay if you don't read the story. I just write down my ideas here and I just enjoy writing about life. The fact that some things in life are not rational or weird for some people is also part of it.

Miga was only able to meet Jaemin a few days later. Both had a full schedule and they had to find a place where no one could see them. Ultimately, they decided that Miga would just go to Jaemin's apartment. At first, he didn't want this, but they had no choice. When she got there she was surprised that there were so many boxes in the room. "Are you clearing out?" She asked as she put her shoes down next to one of the boxes. "No, I bought a house, I need more space if I adopt a child." Jaemin smiled full of happiness, apparently everything is now moving forward with the adoption. "Are you looking forward to it?" Miga asks gently and took a step closer. "Yes, I can hardly wait ..." Jaemin's voice also became calm. His fingers found suddenly hers and he brushed them against her palms. He was like in a world of his own when he was around her. He clawed his fingers between hers and he looked down at her. He knew he felt so much. Her eyes were so gentle and beautiful, her lips so red... When Miga looked up to Jaemin, her knees went weak too. She knew it always would be Jaemin. He should become her great love, he is her dream prince, he can give her everything and she can give him this too. And when she stood in front of him, her skin almost touched and Miga closed her eyes to finally feel his lips again but then Jaemin stopped. "I just can't. That's why I wanted to talk to you." He broke away from her as fast as he could and left Miga behind who looked at him shocked and hurt. "What do you want to tell me?" She looked at him confused. "That it was a mistake last time," said Jaemin then. "You need a conversation for that? You told me that last time." Slowly Miga got angry because she didn't like the game he was playing with her. "I just want to make it clear that it won't happen again." He turned away and tried not to look at Miga anymore, after all he was struggling with his own feelings. He expected a lot, but somehow not that Miga would now stand in the room and start crying. Her heart ached and she couldn't believe why Jaemin dumped her like that. "I thought you like me?" She was sobbing and Jaemin could barely look at her. She was so small and vulnerable and he would love to hug her. "But I like you..." "I wasn't wrong, or? You're interested in me ... I mean in a romantic way." She tries to understand the whole thing because there were so many signs. "No, you were right ... I like you ... more than just a friend," he finally admitted his feelings towards her. "Then what's the problem?", She then asked further and she got louder and louder. She didn't understand what the problem was. Yes, they had an age difference, but she liked him and he liked her. "You are so young, our age difference and then there would be your father ..." "My father? He just wants me to be happy." Several tears continued to roll down Miga's cheeks. "I don't think he'll ever agree if we date." "If we like each other, what's my father's business. I'm an adult, I can decide for myself what makes me happy." Miga was getting angrier now, she hated it when she was treated like a child. "No Miga! YOU CANNOT DECIDE THAT", Jaemin got louder without meaning it. But it was enough for Miga. She looked at him startled and turned around. "Wait Miga, I ..." But in those moments she was already out of the apartment.

"There are women in your organization who are mostly married, but often accompanied by violence. Statistically, such women often don’t come a second time to search for help. How does your organization approach that?" The interviewer leaned back in the chair and looked at you. A few years ago you founded an organization with Eunbi that is supposed to help women, regardless of their situation. Your focus is particularly on families who are confronted with a lot of violence and druguse. Your practice had expanded quite a bit by now. You manage everything, Eunbi takes over the legal affairs and you also had a psychologist, gynocologist and social worker in the team. "We focus on the children. We make sure that they feel particularly comfortable and that they ultimately beg their mother to come back. Our waiting area is almost exclusively geared towards children and they can often get toys to take them home." You stay serious and pay close attention to what you say because this interview was important for future donations. "In your advisory role you are often confronted with the evil side of men. How does that affect your home? You have three sons of your own and you are married. How do you handle this?" You didn't like it when journalists want to draw attention to Jaehyun or your children. You strictly separate your work and your organization shouldn't be about idols or pop culture. "I don't believe in evil. But I think the most important thing is to talk openly with the next generation about everything and to clear up outdated cultural values ​​and stereotypes that affect women negatively." In the meantime you had already learned to answer neutrally to private questions. "You have been married to Jaehyun Jung for almost 20 years, to what extent did he influence you to found this here." The journalists did not want to deviate from the private topic. You paused briefly and think about how you can give a neutral answer again. But at this moment Eunbi suddenly came in. "I'm sorry Y/N for bothering you, but we have an emergency." Eunbi looked really worried and you get up immediately. "No problem, we're already done, aren't we?" You look at the journalist, who then nodded. Eunbi and you immediately run out of the room. "What's going on?" You ask immediately. "Pregnant woman, it looks like she is on drugs, who thinks she was held by her husband and beaten several times," explained Eunbi. "Have you contacted Dr. Oh yet?" Dr. Oh was the gynocology that worked in your organization. "Yes, she is on the way, but is stuck in traffic." Eunbi opened the door and you see a young woman standing in panic in front of the window. Her lips were all white and dried out. You could see abdomen and puncture marks on her arms. "Hey, I'm Y/ N Jung", you walk slowly towards her but she immediately jumped away. She was totally intimidating and trembling. "HE WILL FIND ME," she yells. "What's your name?" You ask ahead and take a few steps back. "There ... Dahae," said herself cautiously, but her body language was still scared. "Dahae. You are pregnant, do you know if you will have a boy or a girl?" You smile softly and you could see how she slowly lowered her shoulders. She just shook her head in response and you carefully take a step forward. "Do you know when your baby is coming?" You ask in advance. "I did the math ..." she said suddenly and at that moment she seemed clearer. "The time will come...in 3 or 4 months." She suddenly put her hands on her stomach and stared at it. She didn't look sober, she was probably high and that made the thing worse. "Would you like to see your baby once?" You ask and smile. Dahae suddenly seemed very small, almost childlike, so that you wonder how old she was.

Somehow you got her to have her checked out by a gynocologist and a doctor. Dahae trusted you more and more and so you made some progress. She was taken to a women's shelter, which was focused on women with addiction problems. "Hey Y/N, can I talk to you?" Dr. Oh the gynecologist came into your office. You nod and look at her expectantly. "Eunbi couldn't find Dahae anywhere. She has several signs of severe abuse. I fear that it started in childhood." That sounded like a serious case that rarely happened. "How old do you think she is?" You ask. "I think she'll be around 16-19". You always had a hard time meeting girls as old as your daughter. "Okay, she's just safe. How about the baby?" You ask. "It's alive, I can't say more yet." "At least good news." You sigh and turn off the light on your desk.

When you were at home you tried to switch off your thoughts, but it was difficult for you. Sunoh, Kiwoo and Jaehyun were boxing, Geon was with Jasper and Miga wasn't there either. You found it hard to be home alone after such a day. You had to think a lot about Dahae, you just couldn't get her out of your head. That's why you were happy when you heard someone come home. You could see through the window that it was Miga. But she didn't look happy. "Hey, are you okay?" You turn to your daughter who lay down on the sofa next to you. "Mummy." She lay in your arms and started crying. "What happened?" You stroke her dark hair and suddenly she was your little girl again. "Why can't I even be lucky in love?" She sobbed into your shoulder and it hurt to see her hurt. "At some point you will find someone who loves you as you love him." You keep stroking her head and Miga kept crying. She was so heartbroken and you wonder which boy gave her so much grief. Jaehyun shouldn’t know this because he would look for the guy immediately. "But everyone is in love and has relationships. I want that too." Several tears continued to roll down her cheeks and you try to calm her down further. "You will have this in the future, but it's okay to take your time. You should have someone who is good to you, respects you and both of you can move forward in life. Finding something like that takes time, but that's okay." You smile and look down at her. "That's a typical mum answer." And now Miga had to laugh a little too. "Hopefully you know that mothers can sometimes speak wise words." You stroke her forehead and feel how warm she was. Her whole body was heated up because she was so angry. "I also want to have a relationship like you and Daddy. The parents of so many friends of mine are either separated or hate each other. But you're still so in love." She looks up at you with her dark eyes and you smile gently. "We took our time too and we were older too. You are only 19 years old. You can still have so many experiences. I just want you to make good choices. Search for someone who respects you and values you. You are incredible great, beautiful, intelligent ... " "Mum ... you're already talking like Daddy." She rolled her eyes but laughed again. You kiss her forehead and continue to stroke her head. "Your Dad and I say that only because it's the truth."

"And now she's sleeping with the other guy too, because she thinks she loves both of them." Yuna and Miga were walking through the town and Yuna told the latest tea about other schoolmates. "Hmm ... can you love two people at the same time?" Miga then asked implausibly, but Yuna shrugged her shoulders. "I guess ..." "I don't know, and when you do, I think you love a person more." She also thought that she couldn't fall in love until she was with her feelings for Jaemin over. But was that even possible? "Don't be so pessimistic." Yuna poked her a little with her elbow and looked at her best friend. "Love is just stupid," said Miga, but Yuna immediately knew what was wrong with her. "Is it still about the mysterious older guy?" She knew this was what was bothering Miga. "I just mean ..." Miga's heart was still aching and Yuna at first didn't know how to cheer her friend up, but then she saw something. "Come over." She grabbed her hand and dragged it into a store. "What is that?", Miga asked when she was inside and Yuna finally let go of her hand. "We let predict your future." Yuna believed in all possible forms of horoscopes and fortune tellers, Miga has a different opinion to this topic. "Wha? No!" She shook her head but an elderly lady came along. "How can I help you two girls?", She asked gently, looking very empathetic and friendly. "My friend needs help in love," Yuna said then and pushed her friend out. The fortune teller looked at her and smiled. "Yes, I see a lot of pain. Come on, sit down my sweetie." Miga had no choice but to follow the woman. When Miga was seated, the woman took her hand and placed a few cards. She stared alternately at her and then back at the table and Miga doesn't quite know what to say or do. "I see ..." said the older woman after a few minutes of silence. "What do you see?", Yuna asked excitedly. "Love. It is there and very very strong," said the fortune teller then. "That must be the mysterious older guy she kissed." Yuna was very excited, but the fortune teller stopped. "No, I don't see an older man. I only see young love, but I also see a lot of blindness." She turned over another card and smiled. "The blindness will soon be resolved." The fortune teller ended her session and Miga understood even less.

When they went out of the store, Yuna was excited, but Miga not. "A young love. Did you hear that?" "Yes, but who should that be?" Miga rolled her eyes, because at the moment she couldn't think of who would be in love with her around her. "You have a lot of admirers, don't be so humble." Yuna rolled her eyes and Miga wanted to give up right away, but the phone rang for both of them. "School?" Asked Miga and Yuna nodded. "The math grades are there." Yuna opens the mail and Miga leaned over to look at the display. Miga's heart suddenly beat much faster and together they went through the list. "I have 70 out of 100 points. I'm relieved," said Yuna and grinned happily. "Why am I nowhere?", Miga asked more to herself, but Yuna continued scrolling and then it suddenly shows her result. "MIGA! 95 out of 100 points. How did you do that?" Yuna hugged her friend, but Miga couldn't believe it. She was in the top 20 of her year. She had never been so good at maths. "I'll call mum right away and tell her that we passed it." Yuna turned to the side and started talking to her mother on the phone. Miga actually wanted to do the same, but she wanted to call someone else first ... namely Hyunjin. "Hello?" Hyunjin sounded relatively sleepy and Miga immediately felt bad. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" "No, it's all good. You know, as a rookie and later as an idol, you don't have a good sleep schedule." "I just wanted to say thank you. I got 95 out of 100 points on the math test." "Wow. That's amazing." "I only managed that with your help." "No, you did it, you already knew so much, I was just helping you on your way." Hyunjin chuckled and everyone could hear his joy. "Am I still invited to your birthday party?", Miga then asked carefully and blushed slightly. "Yes! Of course," said Hyunjin immediately. "Well, don't forget, I'll bring the cake."

"Forget it, she's already half an hour late, she won't come," said Wonsik, looking at his band member. "Girls like Miga don't hang out with us rookies. Hyunjin, sorry," said Dabin and patted his friend on the shoulder. "Miga is not like other girls," said Hyunjin then, looking desperately at his phone. He had already given up the idea that Miga would come. But somehow the thought that she was interested in him was too good. "Still, you should be careful. You won't be the only one who finds her attractive." Wonsik wasn't really encouraging because this were thoughts that Hyunjin already had in his head anyway. "Hey, you didn't see them. Miga seemed to really like Hyunjin," Kiha defended his friend. But Hyunjin doesn't know what to do next. He stroked his hair and took a deep breath. "It's okay. Wonsik is right, I'm not in her league." Hyunjin bowed his head and stood up. He was about to get a beer in the fridge when suddenly someone rings the doorbell. "We haven't ordered yet, can it be?" Kiha started to grin. Hyunjin slammed the refrigerator door and immediately went to the door. And there she was ... she really come to his birthday. "Miga! You are here." He grinned and his cheeks flushed. "I'm so sorry. I pre-ordered your cake and then they swapped my order and then I couldn't find a parking space and ..." Miga could barely breathe and Hyunjin could only stare at her, so Kiha intervened. "We were just about to order something to eat, so you've come to the right time." He took the box with the cake from her and let Miga into the apartment. Wonsik and Dabin couldn't believe their eyes. Beomsoo now came into the kitchen too and smiled when he saw Miga. He was sure she would come, too, but the rest were perplexed. Everyone in the group knew for a long time that Hyunjin adored Miga. But they didn't think he had a lot of chances because she was very popular and many guys adores her. "Wow, your apartment is big. Does the whole group live here?" Miga asks and the boys immediately made a place available for her. "No, there are others living a few floors above us, but we are the cool dorm," Beomsoo grinned and the other boys nodded convinced. "A really?" Miga laughed and immediately felt at home in the group of friends. "Do you like a beer?", Hyunjin asked and became shy at the same moment. "No, but water would be great. I have to drive home today." Miga smiled gently and Hyunjin almost froze. "Wait, I'll bring it to you. It's Hyunjin's birthday today. You'd better take my seat." Kiha got up and made Hyunjin sit down next to Miga. "Do you already know your group name?", She asked carefully and looked around. "We kind of hoped that maybe you could tell us more about that." Wonsik grabbed his shoulders uncertainly and laughed. "No sorry, Daddy doesn't talk about work at home that much." Miga looked at the boys sadly, she would like to tell them more. "Ahhh your father is a strict teacher," Beomsoo said then. "Really?" Miga found this somehow surprising. "He's especially after Hyunjin." Dabin looked cheekily at his colleague, who glared at him. "Is that so?", Miga asked with wide eyes and turned to the boy next to her. "He just wants that I learn from his experience." Hyunjin looked down ashamed and couldn't look Miga in the eye for a moment, but Kiha tried to intervene again. "I think we should finally order something to eat."

After dinner everyone sat together and drank, but gradually Hyunjin and Miga fell into their own conversation as if they were in their own world. "I think you would get along well with my brother Sunoh," said Miga and looked into Hyunjin's eyes. "Oh, why?" He asked with a smile. But Miga just shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, you guys have the same vibe." Kiha, who has meanwhile already become the wingman, saw that the two were completely absent from the group and thought it would be good if the two were alone. "We still have your cake, Miga. What if we sit down in the living room and you two cut it?" The other guys got up immediately and took the hint. Only Miga didn't quite understand what was happening and Hyunjin was also clueless. But the two followed blindly and the two went into the kitchen. "I hope you like it. It's from the best pastry chef in Seoul." Miga grinned proudly while Hyunjin looked at the cake. "It looks really great. Is it chocolate?", He asked with a grin and Miga nodded. "Yes, do you like it?" She asked carefully. "I love chocolate." Hyun grinned and looked down at the girl. The two looked at each other briefly and Hyunjin lost himself in her eyes. But Miga also noticed that her heart was suddenly beating faster and she was a bit confused. "Let's cut the cake," she said and broke the silence. Hyunjin immediately nodded and took a knife. He put it on carefully and made the first cut. Miga meanwhile cleared the plates, whereupon Hyunjin put the cake pieces on top. "The cream looks really good," said Hyunjin and smiled at Miga. Slowly he loosened up and he felt more and more comfortable. "It looks a bit like a face cream, doesn't it?" Miga laughed and looked up. "Do you think so?", Hyunjin asked and she nodded. Then she took her finger, took a little cream and smeared it on his cheek. She giggled and Hyunjin's heart beat faster. "Then you need something too." He also took some cream and smeared it on the tip of her nose. Miga giggled and Hyunjin thinks she is so incredibly beautiful. "What is it?" She asked cheekily and grinned up at him. She noticed that he was staring at her and that he suddenly became calmer. "You are so cute," he said then, putting his hands on her cheeks. Her dark eyes looked up at him and she didn't know what was happening, but she somehow trusted him. The next moment his lips touched hers. His upper lip slips between hers and when she returned the kiss he became more passionate and showed it with his tongue. His heart was pounding wildly. An adrenaline rush flows through his body and he couldn't believe that he had dared to do this. But Miga was also surprised, she hadn't expected it. Although she liked Hyunjin, she was so focused on Jaemin that she had overlooked the signs. But she was glad the kiss happened because she enjoyed the presence of Hyunjin. After a long and intense kiss, the two separated slowly and Hyunjin became shy again. "I'm sorry that was too fast, right?" But Miga smiled and shook her head. "No, it was really wonderful," she said softly and put her hand on his chest. She felt his pulse and suddenly it made so much sense. That's why he hadn't slept and was at the company earlier every day ... he just wanted to be close to her. "I didn't know you liked me this way." She carefully brushed a strand of hair aside and suddenly she was shy too. "I'm sorry. Is that bad?" Miga still had her hand on him and she noticed how his breathing got faster and faster. But she shook her head and looked up at him again. "No, absolutely not at all." She then smiled and now she kissed him. She never thought that the evening would end like this. But Hyunjin never thought his dream would come true either. "You're my best birthday present," he then whispered and stroked her cheek again. Miga couldn't believe it, everything was like a dream. "I know it's difficult, but I'd like to take you out." He looks at her gently and Miga was still in a world of her own. "Yeah sure," she said quietly and Hyunjin knew that this was his best birthday he had ever had.

When Miga drove home she was still excited. She kept smiling and she liked her newfound feelings. Everything was exciting and new. She was so glad that Hyunjin had shown his feelings so openly. As Miga parked her car, she noticed that a familiar car was parked in the driveway. If she wasn't mistaken, it was Jaemin's. Her heart immediately started beating extreme fast and she just didn't know what was happening here. What was Jaemin doing here? Carefully she went into the house and saw how her father and Jaemin sat at the table and happily drank Soju. "Miga! Here you are." Jaehyun saw her and immediately waved her over to him and Jaemin. It was difficult for the girl to look her crush in the eye, everything was very confusing. "Is there something to celebrate?" Asks Miga cautiously, looking back and forth between the men. "Yes, there is," says Jaemin and looked deep into Miga's eyes, so that she briefly lost herself in them. Her heart beat faster and her knees got weak. "Jaemin, you and I are going to play in a drama together," Jaehyun said and poured his daughter a glass as well. "What?" Asks Miga, shocked. She doesn't quite know how to find it all. Jaehyun put the glass in her hand and put an arm around his daughter. "We must celebrate that."

providentia masterlist

daddy jaehyun masterlist

[allet-art]

Forgiveness (SUF fanfic)

Word Count: ~5.4k

Summary: The weight of Steven’s ‘accident’ begins to weigh on the gems after his corruption is dealt with... and there is time to be mad and to forgive.

Characters: Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaren, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, Jasper

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Individual dealing with emotional problems, Coping

Read on AO3

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Pearl wraps her arms around her middle, fingers clutching into her thin frame. “I just… How? Why? I still… Can’t believe it.”

She shakes her head into the tension. Connie, Garnet and Amethyst are in the living room as well, sharing her emotions.

Steven was staying with Greg in the van while he was still cooling down from his ‘meltdown’. On the morning of the next day, the diamonds and Spinel felt safe enough to leave, and everything else settled into it’s place. 

And yet, some questions remain unanswered. 

Pearl shakes her head again. “Is it selfish of me? I mean… Rose never… Did anything like this. Not even as Pink, I spoke to Volly, even as a diamond she never… and he...” She sighs, tired, closing her eyes. “We should be there for him right now. I should be there for him, but… how?”

Garnet, still processing silently, places her hand on Pearl’s shoulder to steady her. Pearl gives her a small, but grateful smile.

Amethyst shrugs, clutching her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them, staring into one of the wood walls.

Connie speaks up, carefully. “I’m sure it’s… it wasn’t that bad. He said it was an accident, right?” 

Pearl nods a little, and Connie goes on. “Well, come on. This is Steven we’re talking about.” 

Connie’s gears are turning as she tries to figure something out, think of some way to fit this information into the world in a way that makes sense.

“If he jumped over a river to show off to her, and Jasper decided to one-up him by jumping off a cliff and getting herself hurt, he’d still say it was entirely his fault, you know?”

Connie’s voice tries to be perhaps a little too humorous for the situation, trying to ease the tension, but the other gems don’t seem to mind that. Pearl nods a little again, but Amethyst looks ready to growl at anyone who came close to her. Garnet remains stiff.

Pearl tries to partially unwrap herself from her own arms. “You’re… you’re right, maybe we’re all just… spinning this into something worse than it really is. He did say it was an accident.”

Her voice is only a tad calmer, but she tries desperately to sound casual. Connie tries to smile, never good at the fake smiles, and goes on.

“Yeah, yeah! It was just an accident. That’s what he said, and he’s just, blaming himself for everything again.”

Everything falls quiet again for a few moments. That sounds nice. That, however, still doesn’t quite cover all of his reactions, all of his breakdown that they saw, the crazed, darting eyes while he spat out everything he’d done. 

There was something more, and they knew. It was nice to hold on to that hope, but if Jasper really had just done something stupid, he wouldn’t have reacted that way. It wouldn’t have broken him that much.

“Or,” Connie speaks up into the quiet again, feeling doubt creeping into the air, knowing that the gems felt more like they were lying to themselves if they tried to believe just that. “Or he tried to show something to her, and… missed?” She pauses, then quickly adds, “he’s not very proficient in precise strikes. He probably didn’t want to hurt her, just, show off or something?”

Connie doesn’t quite believe herself. But the thought that Steven would shatter someone, while wanting to hurt them... it didn’t fit. That’s not the Steven they know, that’s not something he would do. They trust him more than that. He never wants to hurt anyone.

And yet, another unspoken problem was what he said about White Diamond. The way he said it. Connie still shivers thinking of it, of the motion he made with his hands to demonstrate, like he’d done it before, like he knew exactly what he was doing. Like he’d been thinking about it, in that intense, late-night overthinking way until you know every detail, until you’re just a tiny step away from executing it.

Connie feels the pressure on her shoulders. She’s supposed to look after his human side. She’s supposed to be the one who knew him the best, who knew what he needed and how to help him. Of course they still love him. Of course they’ll still take care of him.

That fact could fully co-exist with the desire to know exactly what happened, with the thought that maybe, they had a right to know. This shed a different light on him, one way or another.

---

“You…” Connie starts, voice more confused and uncertain than anything else “you killed her.” 

He cringes a little. “I didn’t mean to! I just wanted…”, he pauses, breathes out in defeat that there is no way this is going to sound any less bad than it already does, “to win.”

Deafening silence hangs between them, before Connie’s soft whisper carries into the breeze. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He closes his eyes. No. He does know. “To prove I’m… not weak.”

He knows how that sounds, knows that he has no possible explanation that could soothen any of this. The deeper they dug, the worse it got.

“To whom?”

“I don’t know!” Frustration seeps into his voice, making him stop and breathe for a moment before continuing. “To her. But also… to me.”

“You’re not weak.” She murmurs, looking over him.

He lets out a small, dry laugh, like one would have to a sarcastic joke. 

Suddenly she sits up. “You’re not weak! You’re really, really strong. Steven, you’re literally half diamond!”

He doesn’t look over to her, just keeps staring at the sky. “Does me a lot of good, doesn’t it? I cry over dropping my lunch.”

“That’s not weakness.” She says firmly, looking down at him.

He jerks up as well now, annoyed. “It’s not? Really? Standing alone in the middle of nowhere crying over a mistake I made, that just proves how little I actually amount to on my own?”

Connie goes on in a similar tone. “Never crying isn’t strength! Strength is being patient and fair to others, and you are. You are because you know how bad it can feel to not have that!”

He shakes his head, letting a thought he usually keeps to himself spill out. “I’m just a pushover.”

“You’re not. You can fight!”

“Connie, what’s the point in being able to fight if I can’t hurt a fly!”

She goes quiet, looking out to the ocean. “But you can.” She ignores the twinge of guilt she feels at what she’s about to say. “And you did.”

He goes quiet, staring down at his own hands.

Connie lays her palm on his knee carefully. “Strength isn’t being able to hurt people. You know that. Nobody thinks you’re weak.”

“Jasper did.”

“And you proved her wrong. And now she thinks you’re strong.”

He looks up, unsure where she’s going with this.

“Does it feel better? Now that you proved it?”

He stares back down at his hands, clenches them to fists. His voice is suddenly barely audible, tension making it come out breathless, pressed out with a deep kinda of anger, frustration.

“Why are you so sure the answer is no?”

Connie frowns, only growing more worried. She pulls her hand back, an uncertainty spreading through her.

He releases his hands but doesn’t lift his gaze. “You think I’m some kind of perfect star child, don’t you? Like I would die to do the right thing in a heartbeat, and not even feel bad about it!” He lifts his gaze, gesturing, a mixture of pained humor and anger. “Like it would be my wish to break myself to pieces for everyone and then be happy about it!”

Connie goes quiet for a while before speaking up again, her hand going over the grass between them. “So how does it feel?”

His posture relaxes a little in defeat. “Not as horrible as it should.”

He finishes, he expects her to be angry, to be mad, to tell him he’s not the person she thought he was, or that he’s grown colder, or lost his heart, but she doesn’t.

“But how does it?”

He keeps his voice flat, too loud to be soft. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because… because I know you.” Something akin to hurt seeps into her voice, quiet and unsure. “Because we’ve always told eachother everything.”

He looks at her, hopeful eyes looking up at his in search for the truth. He feels something in his chest melt when her voice sounds like she’s close to crying, not over what he’s done but over the fact that he won’t tell her.

His shoulders relax and his face softens, and he feels the need to take her hands in his and soothe her and wish he wouldn’t be causing her this much hurt.

“I’m not… sure?” His voice is softer now, gentler, even if he doesn’t know what to say.

Finally he gives in to the feeling, deciding if she doesn’t want it she can just pull away. So he takes her hand off the grass softly and wraps both his soft, smooth hands around hers, her skin tougher, rougher from the sword fighting and sports and hard work, his protected always by his shield, his magic.

She moves her other hand to the bundle as well, and Steven’s hands hold both of them as if he’s holding the most important thing in the world, as if a wrong move could scare her away or hurt her.

Steven starts, talking softer now. “I don’t know if there’s… anything I can say to make this right. I don’t think there’s anything there to make it right at all. So I don’t understand why you’re still here.”

He presses his hands together over hers gently, emotion filling his chest. “I want to- I mean, it’s hard. The truth. But if you want to know, then… I want to tell you. But it’s not pretty.” Then, like a realization, as if it’s something new, “I’m… not perfect.”.

“Of course you’re not perfect.” She turns her hands, holding him back but still comforted by the feeling of their heavy warmth around hers. “People… make mistakes. Of course you’re determined by which ones you make and don’t make. But you’re also determined in how you deal with them.”

He wants to be honest, so he pushes the feeling out of his chest and to his throat. “It was something I could have avoided,” he murmurs, “but I didn’t. I… I don’t have good reasons for why it happened, I was pent up, and angry, and curious.” He looks up at her again. “Isn’t that horrible? Curious what my powers would do to her? Tell me.” He presses their hands together a bit more. “Tell me that it’s horrible. I know it is.”

“Steven...” Connie has to collect her thoughts, weigh them. She shouldn’t excuse what happened. But the person cradling her hands already knows that.

“What happened isn’t good, but… you’re willing to make up for it, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! But I can’t always fix everything. We were lucky to have the diamonds on our side. If this had happened sooner, then...” He shakes his head. “This is bad. The fact that I can… lose myself like that.” He takes a deep breath. “But it was still me. I think that’s… hardest to grasp.”

“You were powered up though, right?”

“Yeah, but… powering up doesn’t make me someone else. It’s still me. I can still hold back. That’s the worst part.” Pushing the words out hurts, makes him want to curl up and hide and wait for it all to cool down instead, but he can’t. He wants to be honest. If anybody deserves to know, it’s Connie. “I chose to...” He gulps down the rest of the sentence, unable to bring it over his tongue.

She lets out a small sigh. “I know.”

They sit in silence, hands still wrapped, the roar of the ocean waves accompanying them.

Steven’s thoughts run in circles, over and over, until he finally speaks up again. “Connie?”

“Hm?”

“Do you… still like me?”

She smiles. “Of course I still like you.”

“But I’m dangerous. I hurt someone. Badly.”

“You also brought peace to the galaxy, and your family consists mostly of people who are dangerous and have hurt others.” Her more cheerful tone fades as she goes on. “Don’t get me wrong, this is… new. I mean, you didn’t change the moment it happened, I think we just… found out something new about you, that came to light because life changes around you. Because you’ve been changing gradually, for a long time.”

He sits quietly as she continues.

“And I don’t mean to say that this is you, or something that you do now! Or that you changed for the worse. I think growing up the way you did, and all these new powers… you were left directionless, more so than any of us thought you were. I had no idea Jasper and you could end up this toxic. And you can still change. It’s your choice to never let it get that way again, but...”

“But what?”

“But not becoming that way again means changing.”

“Of course. I just have to avoid Jasper, and avoid using my powers-”

“No.” Her firm tone cuts him off. “That’s exactly what you were doing before. That’s not changing, that’s reusing your old strategy.”

“But then how do I-?”

“It happened, because you felt weak. So maybe you can work on feeling strong, in a way that doesn’t base itself on hurting others. I’m sure the gems can help with that.”

“I don’t know if they can.”

Connie finally gets her hands out of the warm wrap and intertwines hers with his. “They can support you, and I can support you. But the changing part will have to be your choice, and will involve you working for that goal. You don’t want what happened with Jasper to happen again, do you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“But?”

“But nothing has made me feel better other than what I did with Jasper in… in months! Maybe years.”

“There’s other things that will make you feel better. Like talking about it. We can help you find something, but only if you work on it too.” She grows a bit more stern. “And continue therapy.”

He looks up from their hands, and Connie goes on. “You don’t have to sacrifice feeling better for moral rightness. You just need to find something else to feel good with. Healing is hard. But at the end, you’ll hopefully feel better, even better than you did when fighting. Much better.”

His voice is nothing more than a gentle, hopeful breath. “You think so?”

“Mhm.”

They sit quietly before Steven speaks up again. “Thanks, Connie.”

She looks up to him even though he’s looking away.

“I think just this helped already.”

---

Pearl stands silent and relaxed in the midst of her room. With a precise pose, a collection of shields she once kept for Rose rise to the surface.

She opens her eyes, cold white fingertips going over the rough and rusted metal. She sees her own reflection, ice blue eyes staring back at her.

Calculated, is what new gems of the rebellion would call her. Certainly they believed Rose to be in charge and struggled to understand Pearl wasn’t just an accessory for their leader, but once they saw her in battle, that changed. She made sure of it. She proved herself, to every single one.

Unlike everyone else, she knew Rose. Knew Pink. She could have never shattered gems of her own court, of the other diamond’s courts. Pearl thought she understood at the time, because they were to return once Earth was free.

She remembered Rose’s silent musing long after they’d met Garnet, remembers the day she came up to Pearl and told her all gems are precious. Of course they were, Pearl knew that. No, she said, it’s different. How could it be different? Each gem had a purpose, so they were precious in their own way, like metal rings of a chain. 

Jasper came so close to poofing Rose. Pearl knew what she had to do. She fought, she dodged, she cried and yelled and screamed and reformed so fast it was painful, knowing Rose’s form was trembeling behind her. She could not last long.

She remembered how distant Pink had been to Jasper. Yellow’s favorite, but not Pink’s. Pearl could figure why. Of all gems, she thought at the time, Jasper least resembeled her in every way. 

She didn’t seem good in her court. She was rough. She’d caused the fall of many rebelling gems, caused many of Rose’s tears, and Pearl lived to fight and hate her, for the pain she put Rose through, for the pain she forced Pearl through.

It was in her luck that Rose managed to catch her off guard while the quartz was getting increasingly annoyed at taking so long to defeat a pearl. Poofed, and Pearl thought, finally. They both collapsed.

Pearl rose first and moved quickly. She was doing Rose a favor, after all. Preventing her tears, her sadness, and with that lighting up her own world in color. And yet Rose stopped her, and despite all her efforts, it took Pearl a human lifespan to fully understand why.

Even now she doubts whether her strength at the time could have been enough to break a gem. Would Rose have asked it at the time, though, she knew her form would have somehow learned to adjust, for her, no matter how.

She never asked such a thing. She was proud of Pearl’s increasing strength, certainly, but that could not match the way her face light up, brighter than the core of this galaxy, when she found out Pearl had learned how to bubble.

She valued each gem. She never once slipped, never once got destructive. 

But after how many tries?

At least once she exploded and hurt Pink Pearl. How many other times? Pearl never saw her shatter anyone, but as a new diamond building her court, could she have avoided it even if she wanted to? Even then, she burst to life into a world that expected such cruelty of her, with no way to understand what is cruel and what isn’t. 

In the end, Pearl still found it a bit of a miracle, how a diamond with such power and status - even dissatisfied with her superiors - would make such a step, such a conclusion.

Pearl was there, and at the same time she wasn’t, watching Rose contemplate from afar as she strolled through forests and over beaches or watched the stars and clouds for nights and days.

How many times did Rose try and fail? Wasn’t she still learning even after the rebellion, when she had to learn respect beyond curiosity and play, beyond the world she knew, beyond every habit ever taught to her?

Pearl breathes out, adjusting, and the shields sink back into the water, deep into the temple. The water rushes quietly and evenly, a soft song humming along to Pearl’s graceful movements and steps.

A weight in her gem settled and seemed to roll off of her like raindroplets, following the shields down into the darkness. 

She stops, and stands firmly. Rose did things her way, with her own practice, and Pearl never would have even begun to imagine abandoning her for mistakes, for accidents. She’s older now, different, no longer as blindly loyal. 

But with that age and new understanding, she’s only all the more sure that Steven needs her to be there for him right now.

---

Amethyst kicks a metal plate hard. It gives a resistant clank and lays still. She lets out a loud graon, continuing to stomp through her room.

She kicks a solid rock, watching it break apart with a dull pain in her foot, and it only makes her madder. Fists on the dusty ground and loud yells and screams fill the room. 

Amethyst turns over to lay on her back, stubbornly staring upwards. She breathes.

With every breath, the silence seemed to pressure her more and more. She rolls over.

She sighs, giving up, laying flat on the ground. Who is she to say anything, really? To bother? Why does it matter?

Why? Why did they never notice, why did they never even think about this? Why is she so focused on this? Why does she feel fucking sorry for that cruel quartz?

She sighs again, grumbeling. She remembers the first day of uncorruption, where for just a moment it felt like she could imagine what Jasper felt. Sure, she’s the worst, and turned out to leave off there and head straight into that forest. She’s mean, with no semblance of change. She doesn’t even try, and here she is, screaming into her empty room just so the others don’t see her break down.

Jasper decided to leave. She decided to ignore the whole thing and pull back, isolate herself so she could break alone. Amethyst groans again. It all feels too complicated, too tangled and hard to understand. She sees herself in Jasper. She hates Jasper.

Connie told her Jasper egged him into it, kept pushing, kept pulling and encouraging without second thought. And that only makes it worse, because she knows what that’s like: Pushing Steven out of his comfort zone, finally, from the quiet kind kid to someone people listen to, because if anyone should get to to what they want for once, it should be Steven, right?

There’s no way Jasper feels anything but some desperate aggression at her life, right? She wanted him to give it his all so badly, and any rational explanations make Amethyst feel bad. Make her feel uncomfortably similar to the orange gem. The desperate attempts. The fighting, the pushing.

She knows, distantly, that she’ll lay here and let things suck until she eventually crawls back outside. She looks over the piles of trash, having decreased with time. It’s been a while since she last tossed herself to the ground like that.

She stands up to her full, short stature, not bothering to dust herself off. Steven is strong, isn’t he? She knew that. She walks up to a pile of semi-organized metal scrap. He’s stronger than her. Which isn’t a surprise in of itself, but having seen it now, her insides seem to sink. He didn’t get his aggression from her, did he?

She kicks one of the metal pieces, and the pile bulges before falling back down. She picks something up, just to hold it, to accupy her hands. She lifts it up, and with a start, tries to snap it over her knee. 

The alien metal bends unsatisfyingly, and leaves Ametyhst panting and with her gem regenerating some of her knee. She lets the scrap fall back to the floor.

He’s not a kid anymore, either. 

The thought of Steven hurting someone always felt so ridiculous. She’d push him, tease him for being too caring or tell him to try harder. Hell, they both fought, and he survived all that while barely even trying. And while trying to make her feel better. 

And she never even noticed how he changed, did she?

Since when could he have been pushed to do that? To really, really hurt someone?

She groans again. It’s all so much. It’s all so complicated. Sure, she can deal with it in time, but that doesn’t make any of this any less stupid.

Change. He changed. She kicks another piece of scrap, sending it flying. 

If she sits on her thoughts any longer, she’ll never come out, so she heads for the temple door. 

Her fault or not, he was there when she changed, even for the worse. For every horrid reformation or desperate fight. She looks glumly at the door, and it opens.

At least she can imagine what he’s going through, even if she doesn’t know what to do.

---

Garnet meditates.

Dozens of blue paths glow blue in the darkness. Millions of spectral droplets drip down from the platform she hovers above. With every single one, a fiery burst illuminates her. She sits unmoving.

A large, pearly waterdroplet rolls off the platform, and the flames briefly lick over the blue paths, threatening to disrupt them. She focuses, the flames die down.

The round glass platform hovers beneath her idly.

Another droplet falls, the flames rise, and the platform cracks. 

Garnet grits her teeth, clenches her fists. It’s all going fine. Breathe. She breathes. Crack.

Just breathe, she thinks, Steven is just- Crack. 

Just the mere thought causes her to stir. A voice tells her that she isn’t dealing with the problem at all. 

Garnet tenses, trembeling while a droplet begins to roll down her face. When it lands on the platform, it shatters, pieces scattering in the darkness.

She twists out of her meditative position, fire rising to meet her so she can stand. It whirls around, obscuring her vision, obscuring her thoughts. She punches into the flames, but that only sends her off-balance, falling.

She lands on her feet just barely, steadying herself. She takes off her visor and stands, staring at the blue landscape set in red flames, the break between adorned with purple-pink flowers. There is no wind. It all stands eerily still.

Pink butterflies swirl around the bushes and abstract shapes.

At the end, the landscape fades into pitch black. She doesn’t know. She looks down. She doesn’t know anymore.

A butterfly lands on her shoulder. She was wrong, again. Of course she saw into the future, thought she finally understood him to at least give an estimate. There were so many ways. This was not one of them, and now she has no idea what lies beyond.

Her fists clench again, shoulders rising as the butterfly leaves. Breathe. Another swishes by, ethereal wings brushing past her arm.

She failed. Her fists clench tighter, shoulders higher, hunching over. He hurt someone, he’s terrified, he turned into a monster, and she wasn’t there for him. 

The butterfly swirls, contemplating whether to return or not. Garnet stops, freezes, and releases a breath. Her shoulders sink down, and she watches the butterfly leave and fade into the blue.

It’s okay. Just a butterfly. Just a thought. 

Another approaches her from the back, finding place between her shoulderblades. She remembers the terror she felt, standing before Blue Diamond, loyal devotion and blindness suddenly twisted into betrayal. A Diamond. A Diamond that wanted her shattered, a Diamond she had belonged to so dearly, even if she hates the thought now.

Glowing wings pass by her vision. She believed Diamonds existed to shatter for so long. Bismuth proved her wrong. Rose proved her wrong. Steven proved her… wrong.

Her arms go around herself as she closes her eyes shut. Rose let wonder, love, light grow in a place of devouring fear. Little did Garnet know at the time, she let it grow from the same place the fear came from.

And then she trusted them. Knelt down, blindly, with everything to fear and nothing to prove. She held out her hand, and Garnet took it. 

Without a second thought, without a single question, with nothing but a sad smile and those soft hands. She always thought Rose took her in and held her tight, but no. She let Garnet go, to do as she would, and trusted her with every secret, every move, every fight.

Garnet breathes out, and three butterflies swirl off and into the darkness. She opens her eyes, watches them leave. She blinks. They’re pretty. She smiles to herself.

Rose believed in her. Rose believed in change. Rose believed in a lot of things, really.

And Garnet?, she asks herself, a question from both her halves. She opens her palms to see her gems side by side.

Garnet believes in change. She believes in letting others grow. She believes in Steven.

She closes her hands, and the butterflies pass her by peacefully.

---

The sun is setting, coating the world in dusty hues of orange and red. Long shadows stretch over the forest ground, the trees mere black silhouettes against the paling sky. Last stretches of clouds seem to hurry home.

Steven stops near his destination. He carefully pulls some leaves aside to see the gem in question. The red stripes and messy hair make her blend into her surroundings well, coated with warm, fading light and rounded by harsh shadows.

She turns to him with sharp, attentive eyes, eyeing him. Steven opens his mouth, then closes it again. She turns to him fully, leaning against a nearby rock. 

She crosses her arms over her chest. He long told her to drop the salute, and that he can’t possibly be what she wants him to be. Something wants to tell him she’s probably more mad about the salute than about what happened, but he suspects that’s also exactly what she wants him to believe.

He sticks his hands in the pockets of his jacket and clears his throat.

“Jasper, I’m sorry.”

She huffs. “For what.”

“For being out of control. For using all of my power-”

She cuts him off. “For what? Doing what you were made for? Being who you are? No.”

“This isn’t about that! I hurt you.”

“Because you were doing what you were made for.”

He sighs. They’re going in circles already. “Look, I came here to say I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for coming here, and then bothering you, and then not knowing better and-”

He’s cut off by the sound of a fist smashing a rock to bits as he has to shield his face.

“Jasper, let me finish-”

“You.” She walks up to him, pointing a finger into his chest. “Are apologizing. For the wrong. Things! I don’t want you to come here and apologize for, I don’t know, existing!”

“I’m not!”

She groans. “You can’t apologize for having powers! That’s dumb!”

He’s about to toss an annoyed retort, but he stops himself. Think, Steven. Getting mad isn’t going to make this any better. You can’t apologize for having powers. For existing.

He groans and looks up to her in defeat. “I guess you have a point… But I’m sorry for-”

“No.”

“But-”

“NO!”

He goes quiet, crossing his arms in front of his chest himself now. Jasper turns back to her rocks, but keeps talking. “Is your memory faulty? Did you like, forget everything we did? Everything I did?”

“But you were trying to help. And having powers and being out of control doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Fine. Listen here. You really wanna apologize for, I don’t know, doing what I told you to?”

“Well, yes? I should have been thinking with my own head, too. And I’m sorry for not using my senses, either.”

He finishes, and they both stand in silent. Jasper gives an annoyed exhale and then sits down on the ground with a thud. She looks at him, groans, looks away, crosses her arms again.

“Fine. Then I’m… ergh, I’m sorry for making you, do that.”

Steven looks at her with a bit of surprise, but she quickly gets up and straightens herself as if nothing happened. “Good. Now we’re even. Don’t force me to do it again.”

She squints at him. “And stop smiling like that.”

He can’t help a small laugh. “Okay, okay! Well, this went, better than I thought it would.”

“Hrm.” Jasper kicks one of the rocks to the side, starting to mind her own business. He stands there, unsure whether to leave or not, until she turns to him again.

“What.”

Steven looks over into the forest. “I was thinking… Would you mind if I dropped by again, maybe? I mean, it would go better than before, of course, I don’t want to pressure or anything and-”

“Yeah.”

He stops his rant, breathing out. This did go a lot better than he thought it would.

He turned to the woods, the sounds of Jasper working away following him the first few steps. It’s almost night, the sky a pale, gray blue and the trees mostly mingled dark shapes. He still has some apologies to say to the Crystal Gems. Well, he already has, but he feels they should at least be something firm. Like a favor, or something to eat, or a gift. Something.

You can’t apologize for existing.

Who knew Jasper could give out decent advice sometimes, too.

[captain-yeet]

An Unexpected Outcome (Demetri Volturi x Reader One-Shot)

Summary: The one thing Demetri did not expect at the trial of a possible immortal child was for his mate to clumsily stumble and stutter her way into his life.

Word count: 2,849

Warnings: Swearing, angst but ends in fluff. Sweet, sweet fluff.

For all intents and purposes, Demetri considered himself to be content in his current position with the Volturi. He was the best tracker in the world after a full century of honing his abilities. He had life-long friends in the forms of Felix and Heidi, a modest amount of wealth secured under his belt... Yes, overall, Demetri would say that he was perfectly content with how his life was.

Except for one thing; he did not have a mate to share his life with.

Over the years, the vampire had seen many relationships form and weave together both within the ranks fo the Volturi and outside. The precious, unbreakable bond between two beings was something that he yearned for, but after two centuries, his hopes waned. It nagged at his mind in the quiet moments. Whenever he shared a night with someone who’s name he cared not to remember. Whenever he would be walking down the halls of the Volturi’s residence and would out of the corner of his eye, see Marcus staring at a painting of his late beloved with a sad fondness. And even now though fleeting, as he surveyed the faces of the vampires gathered today to defend themselves, standing side-by-side their beloved mates.

Face calm and collected, he showed no sign of emotion as he observed the trial before him. The Cullens had gone ahead and meddled with the carefully-placed rules of their kind and played God by creating an immortal child, the mind-reader and his mate being at the forefront of the drama. As per usual.

The thing that made him finally quirk and eyebrow a the situation and finally show some interest was when the immortal child herself came forward. Demetri could hear her strange little heart fluttering away from where he stood.

The accuser, Irina, was now in some deep trouble. He moved forward and grappled the ill-informed vampire, pushing her to her knees before Caius and Felix.

The screams of her coven mates as she burned etched into his memory. Tanya and Kate charged forward, grief and fury shown in equal measure on their faces. A nomad tackled Kate, whereas another unknown vampire attempted to hold Tanya down, only to be thrown forward.

Edward Cullen had taken the fallen vampire’s place, holding her back and whispering something Demetri couldn’t make out. Had he not been as alert as he was, he might have missed the new sound to reach his ears. Another heartbeat.

While there were living among the undead in the snowy clearing counting the large wolves and the not-so-immortal child, this one was different. Heart pumping fast from adrenaline, but a typical sounding heartbeat nevertheless. Perfectly human.

The source of the heartbeat came from the clumsy one, who he now noticed was a young woman, that faceplanted on the ground.

And he wasn’t the only vampire to notice the human in their presence. The brawnier one of the Cullens was at the fallen human’s side in an instant, scanning for injuries while shooting Demetri’s coven with an icy glare.

 “Why is it that your coven always finds a way to consort with humans, Carlisle?” Aro sighed, the human now on his radar.

 “She isn’t like others of her kind,” Carlisle replied cooly, keeping any sign of worry or any reaction at all off his face. A smart tactic.

The woman was helped to her feet. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” she whispered to the Cullen who helped her up. “Thanks, Emmett.”

She glanced around her, slowly becoming aware that she was now the center of attention and not the child. Eyes growing wide as the realization hit her, she stared like a deer in headlights at the opposing coven of vampires. 

Demetri took the opportunity to look at her more closely. For a human, she was very pretty even while she appeared fearful, her eyes darting between each of his coven mates; perhaps that was the hunter in him speaking, the inner beast that longed for the sweet, hot blood that pumped through her veins. Another feeling bloomed within him; protectiveness. 

The more he looked at her, the more beautiful she appeared to be for him and the more he wanted to scoop the weak little human up and shield her from the situation at hand.

When her fretful gaze centered on Demetri, her face softened a bit, lips parting on their own accord.

Demetri let out a faint shocked gasp as he felt the entirety of his being gravitating towards the young lady, his own eyes widening. He began to fell his feet carry him forward before a hard hand landed steadily on his shoulder, earning a territorial hiss from him. 

The hand belonged to Felix, who gave him a look of “What the fuck are you doing?”

That, he didn’t know.

Marcus hummed to himself, gliding to Aro’s side and placing his hand in his. Aro watched what his fellow leader had to show, and let out another equally hysterical laugh the escaped his lips when the child first stood before him.

"Today has certainly been full of surprises," Aro said gleefully, beaming at his brother in arms. Milky red eyes drifted to the human woman and then over to Demetri, an amused glint shining within the crimson. "Quite the unexpected outcome."

You had been both a surprise and a blessing to the Cullens in the short time that you knew them. Gifted with the power of healing with a single touch, you stumbled upon a hurt Renesmee standing over a dead deer, a deep cut in her side from the antlers and a panicked Bella Cullen while out on a hike. Whether they were vampires or humans, it did not matter to you - someone needed your help.

Leaning against the wall inside the Cullen’s home, you listened to Edward, Emmett and Carlisle go back and forth in a civil but heated debate. About you.

It all started because that man noticed you, that strange beautiful man. As soon as your eyes locked with his you knew you had an instant crush, and part of you felt guilty for it because of the circumstances at the time; the other half of you, however, was completely captivated.

 “...Can’t stand in the way of fate,” you heard Carlisle argue.

 “We can if it’s one of them,” hissed Edward.

 “I gotta say, I’m on Ed’s side here Pops,” Emmett sighed, “his coven just tried to take us down, who’s to say he won’t hurt her?”

You sighed and threw your head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. When the Volturi had left the clearing, two lagged behind the rest; the beautiful man and the leader Aro.

Edward was the one to break the news; you were this handsome vampire’s mate. The uproar was instant. The Denali coven didn’t come near you after the news broke.

Suddenly, you heard a hiss. “Edward, what is it?” Carlisle asked?

Another voice, light and clear as a ringing bell, joined the conversation; Alice. “They’re coming back for her.”

 “To take her?”

 “No, it appears he just wants to... meet her.”

Okay, it’s time I entered this conversation, you decided. Turning around the corner and walking into the living room, you frowned at the vampires. “Can someone please explain to me what exactly is going on? I have a right to know.”

The four spared each other glances. It was Alice who answered you. “Two of the Volturi guard are on their way here, they’ll be arriving soon. One of them is your mate who wants to meet you.”

You huffed, nodding as you came to process the new information. “Just to meet? Nothing more?”

Alice disappeared from sight. A cold arm wrapped itself around your shoulders. “It’s uncertain, I’m afraid.”

What do I do? you pondered, your stomach now a bundle of nerves. “Is there any harm in-?”

 “Absolutely not,” Edward snarled, listening to your thought before you finished saying it. 

On one hand, you couldn’t blame him for the hostility; this man was Edward and Bella’s main worry if the Volturi decided in favour of killing them all.

But on the other hand, you just had to know if this could be the real deal. How many times in life do you discover that soulmates exist and yours is willing and wanting to meet you?

Edward’s grimace vanished as he straightened up. “They’re here.”

The men left and it was only you and Alice. You began to think a hundred miles an hour. Turning around to face her in her iron grip, you put your hands on her shoulders. “Alice, can you see anything involving me getting hurt if I go out there?”

A distant look flickered in Alice’s golden eyes. “I... no, I don’t see anything.”

 “Then let me go out there,” you pleaded.

She sighed. “Y/N, Demetri is dangerous. Trust me you don’t want anything to do with him.”

Demetri. Now you had a name to the handsome face.

"Can I at least be the judge of that for myself? Seriously Alice, do you see me not meeting him at all?"

Her face softened and once more her eyes became vacant as she gazed into the future. A few seconds later her eyes snapped back to your own. "...I guess I do see you meeting him," she informed you grudgingly.

Surpsinging the tiny vampire, you gave her a hug. "Thank you, Alice."

Taking a deep breath, you headed out, vaguely hearing Alice mutter to herself "Edward and Bella are going to kill me."

You heard them before you saw them. Three familiar voices arguing with two unfamiliar ones; it was easy to pick our Carlisle being the calm and diplomatic one whereas Jasper and Edward were not.

"Your coven has done enough, leave," you heard Edward snarled.

Pausing at the steps, you hovered there, uncertain of what to do. You could see them now - the vampire that wanted to meet you was joined by a much taller vampire, who had his hand on your "mate's" shoulder. Gone were their medieval-esque fancy black robes; it surprised you to see that they donned regular clothing.

"That business is the clearing is done with and quite frankly I could care less about," Demetri spat, losing his patience. "Please let me see her."

"No. Not happening."

 “Why aren’t you a filthy hypocrite, Edward.”

Ah, fuck it.

Heart hammering away in your chest, you marched over to the band of arguing vampires. They all turned and watched your approach, Demetri's face softening from the angry scowl he wore just seconds ago.

Jasper raised a hand in warning. "You might wanna go back inside, Y/N."

You swallowed hard, trying to keep any sign of fear or anxiety from bubbling to the surface although you knew when it came to Jasper that was a fruitless effort. "No. This is about me, so I think I want to have a say in this."

"Y/N I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be -" Edward began with an exasperated expression, but you cut him off.

"No! Hell no - you're all trying to decide for me on something that I really should be deciding on myself!" You argued. Your voice wavered with emotion and you let out a shaky breath to try and steel yourself. "Please let me be the judge, guys."

The Cullen men all shared glances with each other. Taking the moment while they were preoccupied, you approached Demetri slowly until you stood before him.

Being up close to him was a little... distracting, you had to admit. His handsome, perfectly sculpted face, his dark blond hair that looked so damn soft up close, those eyes...

It really isn't fair just how intoxicating vampires are to be near, you grumbled to yourself. "Your name is Demetri, right?"

He looked taken aback at your words, his lips parting slightly. You figured it was the forwardness of how you were approaching him; if only you knew that hearing his name fall from your lips made him melt inside.

"If I agree to speak with you, will you swear that you won't do anything to hurt me?" It was hard to keep the anxiety out of your voice now. Lower lip beginning to quiver, you kept your gaze hard and determined.

Demetri nodded, a serious look in his eyes. "I swear, harming you would never be my intention."

If they could breathe, everyone would have been holding their breath while they waited for your response. You were mulling it over internally, thinking of the pros and cons of potentially having a vampire lover in your life.

 Nodding in response, you half-turned to the others who were watching the exchange. “Privacy would be great?” you said shakily, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

 Edward was about to protest when Carlisle shook his head at him, motioning him and Jasper to follow. The second Volturi vampire that had come with Demetri looked at the two of you curiously and with a hint of amusement. Winking at his friend, the next moment you blinked he was gone.

 “Well... looks like it’s just us now,” you laughed nervously, struggling to meet Demetri’s eyes. All the gusto you had built up earlier was lone gone now you were alone with him.

Demetri gave you a small smile. “It would appear so.”

 “So, how do we...” you struggled to find the words that fit the situation, “go about this? I’m not sure where to begin to what we should discuss if I’m being completely honest.” God, way to sound like a complete idiot, well done me.

To your surprise, he laughed quietly. “No need to feel embarrassed, love. I’m at a loss on what to do here too.”

 “I’m n-not embarrassed,” you stammered a little too quickly, only making Demetri laugh more.

 “The redness in your cheeks say otherwise.”

Your face burnt up more as if to prove his point. Resting one of your hands on your flaming cheeks, you smiled shyly at him, offering your free hand. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

Clasping your hand gently in both of his, Demetri’s laughter faded until he was simply beaming at you with a look of pure happiness. The way he looked at you was infectious; you couldn’t help but return that same amount of happiness in your own smile. A good sign so far, for the whole soulmate thing.

 “It’s my pleasure to meet you, Y/N,” he murmured, bringing your clasped hand up to his lips and pressing them against your knuckles softly. “You have no idea as to how much our meeting means to me.”

If your heart wasn’t hammering away before it certainly was now. “I had to give this a chance,” you replied breathlessly. “I feel like I’d have been an idiot if I turned up an opportunity to meet you.”

 “I’m thankful you didn’t.”

 “Same here. So,” you began, biting your lip as you tried to think of where to begin, “would you be interested in going someplace more private to talk about all this? It would probably be a little awkward to go back inside and it’s kinda freezing out, sadly I don’t handle the cold as well as you vampires do...” You trailed off as you began to ramble nervously.

But Demetri only continued to smile, tilting his head to the side a little almost as if he was trying to get a better look at you. “I can take us somewhere if you like? I may be old but I know of some appropriate places for these kinds of discussions.”

 “Asking me on a date, are you? and we’ve only known each other for two minutes!”

 “Actually love, I’d say it’s closer to five minutes, therefore, my whisking you away is completely appropriate.”

You giggled at the playful banter. “Fair argument. Fine,” you pulled your hands back and lifted them up with a shrug, “whisk me away, Demetri.”

His soft smile turned devilish, a playful glint in his ruby coloured eyes as his name fell from your lips and before you knew it your feet were no longer on the ground and your chest was pressed against a solid surface, making you squeal. You were now on his back piggy-back style. “You’d better hold on tight.”

Knowing what was coming you tightened your hold on him for dear life. “Please don’t drop me whatever you do,”

The vibrations in his torso from his low chuckling against your chest soothed your anxiety, and you felt his hands gently tighten on your thighs where he held you. “Never in a thousand years, love,” he assured you.

As the cold wintery air began to whip your face, you buried your face into the crook of his neck. You believed him with every fiber of your soul, and your heart had never felt so full.

[wonderful-writer]

21 - Fight For Freedom

Summary: Y/n helps the rest of The 100 fight back as hard as they can against Mount Weather, stalling and waiting for Bellamy to come help them escape the mountain. After multiple attacks against the guard, the 47 are introduced to a group set out to help them hide from the people in the mountain.

Word Count: 3.90k

Based Off: 02x12, “Rubicon”, & 02x13, “Ressurection”

Feedback is always highly appreciated!

“We’ve been locked up for hours,” Miller sighed. “If it was Bellamy--”

“It was Bellamy.” You and Jasper said.

“He’s here, Miller. I came with him.”

“Why did you come back anyway? You were so keen to get out.” Miller snipped.

You were going to bite back with a sarcastic remark when Monty stopped you.

“It just doesn’t make any sense.” He sighed.

“I know what I saw.” Jasper defended himself. You were about to step in and help his case when the buzzer went off and the doors opened.

Armoured guards burst into the room and forced everyone back, Dr. Tsing following after them. Two of the guards tried to grab Harper, but Dr. Tsing said she needed time to recover. She pointed to one of the boys and he cried as they dragged him away.

“Stop.” Jasper said. “You can’t keep doing this to us.”

Dr. Tsing walked up to your brother, curious as to why he was attempting to stop her.

“President Walace said we could go.”

“That President Wallace is no longer in command.” She told your group. “He had to step down for health reasons. I’m sorry it has to be like this.”

She looked around at the group. “I hope you know you’re all incredibly special to us.”

As she turned and walked away you felt rage bubbling up inside you again, rage you haven’t felt since you arrived on Earth.

“You’re not sorry about shit, doctor!” You shouted, causing the guards to aim their weapons at you, but all you did was smirk.

“What are you gonna do? Kill me? You need me alive to suck the marrow from my bones and use it to get 7 people to the ground; you kill me and that’s 7 people that don’t get to see Earth, dipshits.”

The guards left you alone and you noticed everyone staring at you, but once you gave a harsh look they turned away from you and went about their business. You made your way to Jasper, Monty, and Miller.

“They’re going to come back, we need a plan.” Monty sighed.

“We could fight them.” Miller suggested.

“No, it's a waste of energy.” You interjected. “They have guns and armor, we just have our fists. Of course, if someone got me something sharp like a knife I could handle myself.”

“We could, maybe, form a wall of some sort.” Jasper suggested. “We could make a human wall, link up with our arms. Try as hard as we can to stop them.”

“Does this involve biting them? Because I’ll bite them if they get too close.” You stated.

“Uh, sure. Whatever you want.” Jasper sent a tight smile your way.

“I’ll let them know.” you nodded.

“Everyone. Listen up!” You addressed the room carefully. “The next time they come in here for one of us, everyone in the front needs to link their arms together, form a human wall. Keep together as hard as you can, and if they get close, do whatever you can to hurt them. Kick them in the legs, bite them, anything. They will not take us down.”

Everyone looked around, murmuring in agreement. You smiled at the delinquents and sat back down, waiting impatient for the guards to arrive. You sat with Harper until then, notifying her of what’s been happening at Camp Jaha.

The door buzzed loudly and the guards yelled at everyone to get back, forcing you further and further into the room, practically squished against the back wall. “Everyone! Just like we talked about! Link up!”

You linked your arms with Monty and another delinquent, who’s other arm was linked to Jasper, leaving you smack dab in the middle. Dr. Tsing walked up to you and a scowl painted your face as she pointed to behind you. “This one.”

You looked at the other linked delinquents as a guard shouted at your people, and when no one moved, one of the guards punched Monty in the stomach. You and the others began your retaliation as you kicked the guard in front of you as hard as you could in the shins, using your frustration and anger, along with the self-taught fighting skills, to your advantage.

The guard fell to his knees instantly, where you got the upper hand and kneed his face. He stood up within a matter of minutes, punching you across the face. Your head swung to the right at the force of the punch, distracting you. In your smallest moment of weakness, the guard ripped you from the human barrier and tossed you to the floor, grabbing the delinquent you fought so hard to protect.

After everyone left, Miller helped you to your feet and sat you on one of the beds next to Harper, who made a comment on the bruise forming on your cheek. “That’s gonna hurt later.”

“I’ve had a lot worse,” You smiled sarcastically. She laughed and looked over at Jasper as a crowd began to gather around him.

“Alright, listen up.” He started. “The guard that pinned me, that was Bellamy. He gave me this--” He lifted his hand to reveal a pistol. “--And told me to keep everyone safe while he worked on getting us out. We need to arm ourselves and we need to fight back harder.”

Everyone around you was muttering and murmuring in worry, when someone spoke up. “How are we supposed to arm ourselves? You’re the only one with a gun.”

“Trust me, there’s more than one way to arm yourself. And in situations like these, you use whatever you can.” You spoke up from the back of the crowd, arms crossed. You surveyed your surroundings to look for anything that could be enough, when the answer was right in front of your face.

“Hey, Monty, can you remove these pipes?” You asked, pointing to the beds.

“What pipes?”

You walked to the beds and felt underneath the top bunks. “These ones.”

“Of course,” Monty scoffed. “There’s more than enough beds for everyone to have a pipe, we just can’t take all of the pipes from one bed. It’s genius!”

You smirked at your friend. “It works, the pipes are long enough to hide behind our backs when they walk in, and you can remove enough pipes for everyone to have one and everything should still look normal.”

Monty broke the crowd and enlisted Jasper to help him arm everyone while you taught who you could on how to utilize the pipe. Mimicking hitting a person on the head, then swinging for their side, and finally going in for the knees. You knew you had to conflict as much damage as possible, but some were bound to not fully get the hang of it, as there was no real way you could practice without hurting one of your own.

As the last of your group got their pipes, you did one final practice, all together. You watched the group moving in sync, feeling proud of your fellow delinquents and of yourself for knowing you taught them as well as you could.

“What’s taking Bellamy so long?” Monty asked as he stood beside you, waiting for the guards to show up.

“Maybe they caught him.” Miller commented grimly.

“No,” You denied.

“He’ll figure a way out, I know he will.” Jasper hoped that his friend would come through.

“Jasper, it’s already been 4 hours.” You didn’t realize it had been that long. Training a bunch of teenage criminals to fight using a bunk bed pipe usually made you lose the concept of time. “The guards will be back any second.”

“They’re gonna take someone else,” Harper worried.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” You said, gripping the pipe a little harder.

“You’re gonna take them on?” Miller asked, surprised.

“If it comes to it, yeah. You know I was never one to back down from a fight; you’ve seen me at the dropship.” You commented.

“Listen to me, everyone. We stick to the plan. They are not taking anyone else out of this room without a fight!” Jasper reassured everyone as the buzzer went off. “Get ready.”

You put yourself in a running position, the pipe placed behind your back. You were pushed back into the crowd as the others formed another wall, the guards coming towards you with their guns raised, telling your friends to break the wall. Dr. Tsing stepped forward again and pointed at Monty.

The guards harshly ripped him from the crowd as Jasper stepped forward, aiming his gun at the guards. “Get your hands off him!” He fired the gun at the vest of the guard, who immediately went in for the attack.

An all out brawl began between your people and the guards, Miller striking the guard that Jasper shot in the head. You raised your pipe and ran ahead, hitting the guards that were with Monty. The brawl didn’t last long, however, when your pipes were ripped from you and everyone had taken a few hits.

“Take him instead.” The doctor pointed at Jasper and you shouted at her.

“You bitch! Don’t you dare hurt him! I will end you if you even think about hurting him!” Though you had been in a similar situation before, the thought of Jasper dying had tears filling your eyes. Momentarily, you had Dr. Tsing’s attention and you made a split second decision.

“Take me.” You deadpanned. “Not him. Take me instead. I know you want to kill me already, so do it. Take me and leave my brother alone.”

The woman smiled at you and nodded to the guard behind you. You felt his hand grasp your upper arm, leading you out of the room as your peers verbally fought for you to not leave. You willingly walked with the guards as you felt like you were underwater. Everything was muddled around you, and your head was hung low. You were accepting it now, and you wondered how things would be after you died.

What would your father do? Your brother? How would Bellamy feel? Or Octavia, or Clarke, or Harper? Would your mother be there to greet you? Would you see Finn and your grandmother again? Or would there be nothing but an endless sleep? Would the gunshot be painful, or would you never even feel it in the first place?

These thoughts took center stage in your brain as they waited for the elevator. You were pulled from said thoughts when the guards who held you let go. Looking around, you saw radiation burns begin to form on everyone’s skin, and you knew this was Bellamy’s doing. You saw everyone start running towards you and you guided them to the dining hall, shouting over the alarm system.

Miller grabbed the guns from the bodies of the guards, while you noticed the elevator doors closing. You put your hand in between them and they opened back up again to reveal a dying Dr. Tsing.

“I hope you know that you’re incredibly special to us.” You commented sourly, repeating her previous words. She screamed loudly as the radiation burns consumed her face, making the doctor a little hard to look at, but you and your friends did so anyway.

After that, you followed everyone to the dining hall and began to arm yourselves even further. Jasper grabbed an emergency fire ax, Monty ripped out the key pad for the elevator so no one could get to this part of level 5 while it was radiation filled, and you grabbed the biggest kitchen knife you could see in case anyone tried to kill you. Again.

Jasper put you on getting water from the kitchen with Harper, and although it did confuse you, you listened and did what you could. Your knife was safely tucked in your jeans waistband for easy access as you helped fill pots with water and carry them back to the dining hall, wondering exactly why Jasper needed them.

Once that was done, all you could do now was pace and grip your knife tightly as you waited for Monty to tell you that the guards were storming the level. He didn’t need to tell you, however, when a blast echoed in the hallway. Stopping you in your tracks.

“Monty, what the hell was that?” You asked.

“Uh- they- they blew the stairwell door wide open.” He said, surprised at their move.

“Look, no guns. You were right.” Monty pointed out to his best friend.

“That’s because they can’t kill us.” Jasper said. “Not like this, anyway.”

Miller warned Harper to be careful with one of the guns he grabbed and Monty pointed out that a few of the guards weren’t wearing hazmat suits.

“What does that mean?” Miller asked.

“It means they’re cured.” You explained shortly. “The marrow treatments worked.”

The door ratted and you prepared your short range weapon as they hit the door with an alarming amount of force. You spun the knife once in your palm and stood protectively at the front of the group as you waited anxiously for the guards to storm the room.

The doors were ripped open as they threw cans of red gas in, causing people to run away from it. It didn’t take long for the gas to fill the room, and as it did you began to feel lightheaded. Jasper, however, knew to hold your breath, and everyone followed suit as he picked up the cans and tossed them into the water, eliminating all gas from the room.

Faking unconsciousness was something you’d done once before, but it came easily to you and the others. Your knife lay not too far away from you, just at your fingertips. Upon Jasper’s shout, you got up and attacked the nearest guard in a hazmat suit, slashing it and allowing the radiation to seep into his protection, killing him slowly.

A guard came up behind you but his heavy footfall caught your attention and you spun around, slashing at him. You managed to nick his neck, but nothing more. You saw him raise his fists to attack just moments before it happened, ducking and swiping his legs out from underneath him aggressively.

You stabbed his chest with your knife and began to fight another hazmat suited guard, slashing his throat roughly as you ripped his suit. The room was loud with the shouts of the others fighting the guards, yours mixed in with them. Your instincts kicked in quickly as one of the guards seemed to have the upper hand on one of the others, so you pulled it by the back of his hazmat suit and stabbed him roughly in the chest, pulling the knife out and going in again.

Blood was splattering the floor and front of your shirt, along with a few drops scattered on your cheeks from pulling the knife out. Once you were completely sure he was dead you moved on, looking for a guard to attack, but none did. Instead, they retreated and left, seeing a clear threat in you and your friends.

“We did it!” Shouts of victory followed Jasper’s announcement, you included, and as you got back to sealing the barricade in case the guards or anyone else came back, you heard Fox calling out to Jasper. Miller stopped him from going after the girl, even though he knew she would be dead within the hour.

You helped carry all the dead guards into one of the elevators so they wouldn’t crowd the room for the inevitable second wave of guards, overhearing Miller say that they would be coming in hotter next time on your way back.

“All we gotta do is hold the floor until Bellamy finds a way out.” Jasper muttered.

“We’re gonna need more than a bucket of water and 4 guns to do that.” Miller argued.

Before either you or Jasper could respond to his comment, one of the guard’s radio’s cut in.

“This is President Wallace talking to the people who just killed 10 of my men.”

Monty beckoned Jasper to him so he could see something on the handheld monitor while Cage continued to talk to the room.

“I thought we’d try something a little different this time. There’s only 20 minutes of oxygen in Maya’s suit.” You noticed she was in the corridor by the elevator, the handheld monitor showing you. “I know she’s a friend of yours.”

“In 20 minutes, your friend will either suffocate or burn…” Cage threatened. “But you can save her. All you have to do is surrender.”

You saw the conflict in Jasper’s eyes as he faced the situation. Surrender and save Maya, or refuse and let her die? You knew the gravity of the situation, and it was heavy. Jasper loved Maya with quite possibly all he had, you saw that, but he also had to think of the 47 people that he survived on Earth with.

For possibly the first time ever, you didn’t know what was going on in Jasper’s mind. So, without hesitation, you went into the hall and got Maya. “Y/n? You’re here? Did you come with-?”

“Bellamy? Yeah,” You lead her into the dining hall. “Jasper, I got her.”

Your brother pulled Maya into a hug and directed her to a chair.

“Listen to me. Fox is okay, Bellamy saved her.” She said with shaky breaths. “He’s gonna get some guns in here through the trash chute.”

“If we can get guns in, we can get you out.” Jasper said hopefully.

“No, we can’t.” Monty discouraged his friend. “I dismantled the chute. I’m sorry I didn’t think we’d be trying to open it ourselves.”

Seeing the sadness in the couple’s eyes, Monty put a hand on top of Maya’s and gained her attention. “I can fix it.”

Jasper told Miller to go help Monty while you stayed with the couple. Maya started crying as the harsh reality of her untimely death started to set in, and Jasper looked at his girlfriend.

“I won’t let you die.”

“I won’t let you surrender.” She breathed.

You watched the couple silently, slightly uncomfortable because you were intruding in their little moment so you went to help out with the chute and see if you could get it open. When you got there, there seemed to be little improvement or luck for the three people already working on it. You took whatever instruction Monty gave you until Jasper and Maya followed you over. As Monty struggled opening the chute, Harper alerted the group that Maya was almost completely out of oxygen.

“Don’t worry,” Jasper directed the words at Maya. “We’ll get it open, won’t we, Monty?”

“Almost there,” He informed the group.

“Almost isn’t good enough,” You commented, crossing your arms worriedly, shifting your weight from foot to foot.

“I just need to bypass the-- oh!” The electrical board sparked and Monty backed away from it before he ripped one of the wires out of it.

“What did you just do?” Miller asked the tech genius.

“Cut power to the motor. Help me.” Miller stepped up and they pulled as hard as possible on the garbage chute’s handle, hearing Monty groan, “We can’t get leverage.”

The room grew chaotic as Maya began to lose her breath and Harper noted that there was someone in the chute. As you rushed over to Maya to make sure she was okay, Jasper shouted that whoever was in the chute was coming into the room. The pair at the chute backed up and Jasper aimed his gun at the intruder. The chute’s door fell off and Bellamy revealed himself, wearing a guard uniform.

Before he was even out he beckoned Maya over to the chute, hurrying to get her to safety. You helped her over and into the chute itself, watching Jasper nudge you aside and follow them down. Stepping into the chute yourself, you looked back at the other three in the room. “You guys make sure everyone gets down there and fast. Send two at a time and wait a minute before sending more.”

They nodded and left the room as you slid down the dirty chute. You hit the ground with a loud thud, hurting your body a little from the harsh landing onto metal. Standing up, Bellamy was looking at you with relief before pulling you out of the metal tub and into his arms.

“I thought you were dead as soon as she saw you.” He whispered as you tucked your head into his neck before letting go.

“I knew you’d survive,” You commented. “You always do, even when there's no way. You always manage to survive.”

The man smiled at you and you smiled back before you went to hug Maya. She then introduced you to her father, Vincent, and then two bodies fell down the chute. You helped them out and dusted them off, explaining to the other 4 people the part of the plan you had to get them out of the mountain.

Soon enough everyone was down, the last two being Harper and Monty. Bellamy guided you down the halls of what you thought was level 3, clearing hallways. Jasper voiced his worries of being seen, but Bellamy assured him that Maya took out the cameras on level 5.

“Yeah but we’re still sitting ducks in a group like this,” Miller commented.

“You’re right.” Bellamy said. “So we’re gonna split up.”

“No.” Monty disagreed, grabbing Bellamy’s arm. “We do this together. We survive together.”

“Bellamy’s right,” You and Jasper agreed.

“Well, they don’t trust Maya anymore,” Miller stated. “Who the hell is gonna help us now?”

Bellamy just nodded and continued to lead the group down the hall to reveal a group of people as Maya stepped up, explaining that they were going to hide everyone. You were surprised that so many people agreed to help your people. Those that were helping you also didn’t agree with Cage’s methods and ideals. Vincent then took over the group and they were dividing everyone as they went along.

You stopped for a few moments, looking at Bellamy. You grasped his hand and caught his attention. “This is dangerous, Bell,”

“It’s going to keep you safe.” He said, squeezing your hand. “If you and the others are safe then it’s okay. Clarke is coming and we’ll get you out of here.”

“It’s not safe for me,” You emphasized. “Ever since I stepped foot back in the mountain, I’ve had 50 targets on my back. They find me and I’m dead, Bellamy.”

“Then don’t let them find you.” The hard look in Bellamy’s eyes mixed with his already upset and worried ones and you squeezed his hand once more.

“May we meet again.” You whispered.

“We will.”

You let go and Vincent directed you to the left, where you were put with Harper and from there you stayed with a nice older couple. Although the situation was very much leaning towards life or death, you were sitting ducks and there was nothing else you could do. The couple hid you in a large air vent and fed you both some bread and you thanked them quietly, anxiety getting the better of you as the small space and general worry overtook you.

You stayed quiet, though, and held out hope that Bellamy hadn't been caught and he would save all of you before you were caught.

Taglist:  @soullessbabee | @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis | @dummythiccwitch | @sireddobrev | @gxvrielle | @hurricane-abigail | @holyhumorliteraturelight

[saharamae21]

In Uncharted Waters (Part One) Sequel to Never Ran Smooth

GUYS! I JUST HIT 100 FOLLOWS! HERE’S CHAPTER ONE OF THE SEQUEL! THANK YOU!!!!

__________________________________

I defy you, stars

I was out of the hospital after a couple days and back at home. It didn't feel right though. Everyone went on with their lives like nothing had happened, but how could we do that? The Pogues visited me in the hospital and JJ technically never left, but other than that, we had all taken time apart to process. Pope used his time to mend things with his parents. Kie took this time to evaluate her new relationship. JJ used this time to relieve his guilt. Then there was me.

I sat in my living room with Jasper and tried to ignore my father who was in the kitchen, adjacent to where we sat. He didn't visit me at all. He didn't even acknowledge me when I got home. Maybe he didn't know what to say to me. Maybe he didn't care.

"I'm heading out," I told Jasp. He looked at me worried, but he didn't stop me. My mom wasn't home and she was the only one stopping me from leaving most days. I was dressed nicely and had my hair pulled back into a high ponytail. I got into my car and drove over to JJ's house. I prayed he was here because if he wasn't I didn't know where he was. I knocked on the door and looked around. I looked in the window and knocked one more time. Finally, the door opened.

"Hello?" Luke stood in front of me and I wondered if he would recognize me from the time we met. He looked at me carefully. "You're JJ's friend." "Girlfriend," I said with a smile. "Is he home?"

"Left two days ago, haven't been back," his dad said. "You can come in and wait a while, but I wouldn't hold your breath."

"Do you know where he might be?" Luke just shook his head at me and apologized. I thanked him and got back in the car. I drove to the only other place I thought he could be. Sure enough, his bike was in the driveway of the chateau. I knocked lightly and walked in. "JJ?"

"In here!" he yelled. I opened up the spare bedroom and there he was laying on the bed. "Hey Sav." His shirt was off and patches of bruises were speckled across his chest. I tried not to show any emotion because I knew he hated it. I just slid into bed next to him and kissed his neck. He hummed in response.

"You're awfully affectionate today," he mumbled as he turned and cupped my face with his hands. He kissed me passionately and I felt his hands gently roam my body. He pulled away, leaving me wanting more.

"Why are you here?" I asked. I looked around the room and saw some of his things scattered around.

"My dad," he said. He reached down and grabbed a shirt off the floor. He slipped it over his head, but I stopped him. I traced the bruises carefully and he just grabbed my hand. "No need to get emotional." "Come stay on my boat," I said. "It will be like before. Plus, I worried about you staying here alone." He stared at me, knowing what I was thinking. Him being here just kept reminding him. He needed a break. He needed to heal. I needed him to realize it wasn't his fault.

"Can't be any worse than staying here," he said, agreeing. I smiled and slipped my arms around him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I said. It had only been two days without seeing him, but I did miss him terribly during it. I didn't want to go a day without seeing JJ.

We spent all day in bed. Just being by his side was enough to make me happy. He knew I couldn't do much yet and he was being patient with me. Somewhere in the midafternoon, I must've fallen asleep. When I woke up it was around 6pm. I reached around for JJ, but he wasn't there. He was sitting on the porch in front and holding a bandana in his hand. I caught his attention and he looked at me, shoving the bandana in his pocket.

"Let's go see Kie," he said. "It's dinner time and we can eat at The Wreck."

I decided not to acknowledge the bandana and agreed to dinner. We drove over and got out. I wasn't going to lie to myself, I was nervous to see Kie and Pope. We walked in and my anxiety spiked for a moment. However, as soon as Kie saw us, she ran over and hugged me. "I'm so happy to see you," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," I said with a huge smile. "I missed you."

Pope joined us and told us it was nice to see us. It was nice to be welcomed with open arms. I smiled as we all sat down. Kie worked hard to make us some food to eat. I smiled as I ate and enjoyed my time together. We laughed and for a moment everything felt like normal. I smiled and remembered that I forgot my wallet in my car. I ran out to grab it.

"Savannah?" I heard a voice behind me while I was at my car. I turned around and saw Topper in front of me.

"Hey..." I said.

"How are you?" he said. He looked uncomfortable. I told him I was doing alright and he rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I remember your brother saying you were in the hospital and I just wanted to check in on you."

"I'm okay," I said. "Thanks for checking up." I turned around to walk back inside, but he grabbed my arm.

"I came to say sorry," he said. I turned and stared at him. He looked at me awkwardly. "Sarah before she... before she died, told me about that time..." "Topper, you don't have to beat yourself up over something that happened years ago," I said. I heard the front door open and then another person grabbed my other arm. JJ pulled me towards him and stared daggers at Topper.

"Let go of her," JJ said firmly. As soon as JJ showed up, Topper's soft demeanor turned cold.

"I'm okay," I said to him. "Let's go back in. Bye Topper."

I pulled JJ back in and he immediately demanded me to tell him what that was about. I thought about lying, but what good would that do? I stared at him and reassured him that I was fine.

"He came to apologize for everything," I said.

"But he only apologizes to you," he snickered, annoyed. I sighed and decided not to argue with him right now. What mattered right now was helping each other through the tough times. I clung to his arm and batted my eyes at him. He ruffled my hair and walked back to the others. I ran after him and smiled.

When it came time to leave, I told JJ I would meet him by the boat in an hour. I sped home and jumped in the shower. I threw on some comfy pjs and found Jasper. I begged him to cover for me. I pleaded with him until he agreed.

"You owe me," he said. I smiled at him and hugged him quickly. I snuck out to the boat and waited for JJ. He certainly took his time, but eventually he got there.

"Hello," he said, smirking. I greeted him as I stood up and placed my lips against his. He kissed back and I found myself pressed up against the wall. My hands were in his hair as he kissed down my neck. A soft moan slipped out of my lips and he stopped there. I stared at him with confusion, but took a few steps away from me. He didn't want to go on. I tried not to take offense to the clear rejection and led him downstairs. I sat on the bed as he went to take a shower. I sighed and tried to control my thoughts. JJ was known for never turning a girl down. He was a clear playboy before me. Then there was the whole Topper situation that was confusing as hell. Why apologize now for something that happened three years ago? I heard the shower turn off and quickly got under the covers. I closed my eyes and when he came in he asked if I was awake still.

"Barely," I lied. He laid down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I cuddled into him and we just laid there together. I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. He didn't seem to have any problem though. I watched him while soft snores escaped his mouth. Then a while later he began to move in his sleep. He mumbled something incohesive.

"I'm sorry John," he said. I frowned and shook him awake. He was sweating so much and panting when I finally got his eyes to open. I hugged him tightly and I told him over and over to stop blaming himself. He just held me against him and said nothing. How could I get through to him? None of this was his fault.

____________________________________________

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @obxmxybxnk @prejudic3

[rohad93]

Sea Glass - Chapter 1 A Bellow diamond Pirate AU

The gentle rocking of the ship made all the glass bottles and knickknacks clack together quietly on their shelves, a constant and soothing background noise over the sound of the sea and the gulls outside her window.

The storm they had been sailing through for the last three days had finally passed over and they could finally pull into port to restock their supplies and go ashore. They had cut it a little too close on their last trip and she was going to correct that this time, she’s already made some allowances in their rations. 

Captain Marigold ‘Yellow Diamond’ stood, leaning over her desk, scouring the contents of the map. She was already plotting their next course, her compass moving slowly and deliberately along a newly marked path across the map. 

If they left the port by mid-morning tomorrow, the wind would be pushing from the perfect direction to take them just where they needed to be.  

A lone independent merchant ship carrying precious metals and silk was set to sail for Caracas in the morning from St. Lucia; they were going to take it. She already had a buyer for all the silk. The metal would be easy enough to sell in the markets of Aruba.   

Rolls of parchment sat on her desk, carefully rolled up and set off on either side of the map, several star charts she had been consulting, and some letter that needed to be mailed off while they were in port. She moved them into envelopes and sealed them with the nearby candle, pressing her signet ring into the soft, red wax.  

Straitening up, she rolled her shoulders and grumbled at the stiffness that had settled in her neck. She moved to the large wooden wardrobe and threw open the doors and pulled off the grubby gray shirt she had been wearing while doing chores around her quarters and pulled out the freshly washed white one, its newly starched sleeves were too puffy for her but the coat would fix that.

Strapping her pistol and saber around her waist, she pulled on the black and gold-trimmed long coat, stuffing the sealed letters into her pockets as she strutted past her desk, boots thumping rhythmically on the floorboards. She whipped the tricorne hat off the hook by the door and situated it carefully over her short flaxen locks as she stepped out onto the deck. 

The bright sun overhead made her squint as she walked across the deck, several deckhands nearby saw her and shouted greetings.

“Pulling into port now, Cap’n” A voice called from the rigging above. She only nodded, watching as the shore grew closer. The golden flag a lightning bolt emblazoned in the middle flapped in the wind. 

She looked carefully over the ships pulled into port and felt her shoulders loosen up when she didn’t spot the one she was looking for.

Small miracles.

“Jasper, take some of the crew and restock all the things on this list.” She handed a rolled-up bit of parchment over to her first mate. “We need to be prepared for the voyage to Caracus.  

“Aye, Cap’n” The large sailor hurried off with the list as some men lowered the gangplank onto the pier. She stopped at the top and turned to face the ship, most of her crew watching her as they worked.

“I want this ship scrubbed from stem to stern by sundown, then to the tavern!” 

“Aye aye Captain.” was the chorus of answers before she turned on heel and strutted down the plank, feet finally touching solid land for the first time in weeks. 

She pulled the pocket watch out of her coat and looked at the hands. She had plenty of time to take care of her errands before the crew scurried off to the tavern to get drunk enough to fall while laying down. 

They needed it after the last trip and their close encounter with that royal frigate.

It had proven much too cumbersome to avoid The Cluster’s cannons though and had sunk to the bottom of the ocean like a rock. 

Yellow couldn’t help but grin to herself as she walked through town at the thought of the look on her face when they had sailed by after sinking the royal pest. 

It honestly filled her with too much giddy delight, especially when she knew there would be consequences, but she just hadn’t been able to pass up the opportunity to show her up a little.

Those troubles would be something to deal with later.

By the time she’d delivered her letters and picked up a few personal parcels, the sun was starting to dip behind all the ships sitting in the harbor, casting their long shadows over the pier and a hazy orange glow over everything else.

She glanced out at the sea and could see another ship in the distance slowly pulling in to port, the setting sun, blocking it out in dark shadows. 

Yellow ignored it as she made her way to the tavern, the raucous sounds of drinking and merry-making could be heard before she had even stepped inside. 

Once she did a loud cheer of ‘Captain!” rose over the din. 

Her crew sat gathered around the place, flagons of piss poor beer and rum in one hand, dice or cards in the other. The locals seemed to be holed up in one corner of the place, keeping to themselves. 

A wise choice.

The crew of The Cluster often frequented this tavern between runs and it was fairly common knowledge that if you stayed out of their way they would leave you be in turn.   

Yellow sauntered up to the bar and sat on a grimy wooden stool that creaked under her weight. Within a minute, a flagon of dark, murky liquid was sat down in front of her by a tavern maid, who quickly made herself scarce. 

She took a long, deep drink of the liquid and it burned every inch of skin it touched all the way down. She let the fire fade before turning around to face her crew, standing from the stool to raise the flagon overhead.

“Drink till you’re blind, men!” she called and the roar that followed drowned out anything else as she sat a bag of gold pieces on the counter, which the barmaid quickly snatched up. 

They had their marching orders. 

An hour into the festivities the tavern doors burst open and while it didn’t go quiet, it did go quiet enough for Yellow to turn away from her drink and curse under her breath the second she did.

The subject of many a nightmare she had suffered was quickly strutting across the tavern straight for her, followed by a motley bunch of bilge rats she called a crew. 

Black leather boots thumped across the wooden floor in a steady rhythm that Yellow was unsure if it was her or her heart, accompanied by the quiet tinkling of metal. 

“I see you washed up on shore just fine,” she smirked up at her new companion. 

Captain Ciel ‘Blue Diamond’ leveled her with a long look, one hand resting on her hip as she looked down at the other pirate from beneath an ocean blue headscarf, tied neatly around a head of long, silver hair, several charms and braids intertwined within the locks.  

Yellow didn’t let her eyes trail past the other captain’s neck. Like usual, Blue was dressed in an off-white blouse that had entirely too many buttons left undone, and were it not for the cobalt colored corset cinched around her middle it would have been left entirely useless as a garment, even tucked into the black trousers she was wearing. 

She let her eyes focus back on Blue’s face, passing the gold and blue gemmed necklace hanging around her neck, the gemstone dipping into her cleavage as she leaned forward.    

Brows the same color as her hair had dipped between a pair of obviously annoyed cerulean eyes at the self-assured smirk on Yellow’s face.

“We didn’t need your help.” She finally said. “My crew is more than capable of taking on some royal navy rats.” 

“It certainly didn’t seem that way…,” Yellow smirked behind her drink, pleased by the annoyance shining in Blue’s eyes. “and we weren’t helping you,” she corrected, setting the drink back down on the table. “I saw an opportunity to take out a future nuisance, so I took it. If you were aided by that... it was an unfortunate coincidence,” she mumbled quietly, not even trying to contain the delight that was no doubt shining in her eyes.

Cerulean eyes narrowed but just as quickly as the look appeared, it vanished, replaced by a sultry smile. 

“Well, even if you didn’t intend to help, I feel like I owe you something…” She said over her shoulder as she turned and walked away; blonde brows furrowed quizically.

She didn’t like any part of that statement, nor the look that went along with it. 

The members of the two crews were intermingled among the tavern, drinking, and trading tales of their recent voyages, but all the while keeping an eye on the two captains. Nothing good ever came of the two of them interacting for too long.

Yellow sat drinking, on edge, now that Blue had disappeared with the unnerving parting words. 

Eventually, the edges of her vision weren’t as clear as they had been before and she felt a little lighter. The cheap rum at work. It was around this time that the band suddenly went quiet and she looked up in time to see Blue, bottle in hand standing on a table. 

“The oh so goodly Captain of The Cluster did The Menagerie a favor ereyesterday and I think it deserves a song, what about you lads?” She called and the tavern answered in a drunken cheer. 

She turned to the band and they quickly began to play a jaunty tune…

“If you need someone to swab your deck there’s only one pirate who can do the trick, call Yellow diamond!” Blue belted out and Yellow jerked, almost dropping her drink.

The crew of The Menagerie stomped and clapped as their captain hopped off the table and began moving through the room.

“When the rum has got you limp, call Yellow diamond!” The Cluster’s crew didn’t know what to do, the more sober ones, anyway. The drunkest unknowingly or unhearing of the lyrics clapped or sang along.

Yellow had a white-knuckle grip on the cup in her hand, watching the other captain twirl around the bar, drinking straight from the bottle between lyrics. She was seething on the inside, listening to Blue and her crew sing and roar with laughter while her crew sat looking at her uncertainly.   

“If the local whore won’t heed your word, call Yellow diamond!” The crowd cheered and suddenly Blue was moving toward her with that damnable little smile on her lips till she was standing at Yellow’s table and leaning forward on her hands, a litany of rings on her fingers that sparkled and shined in the light of the sconces on the walls. 

“The easiest pirate of them all, Yellow diamond!” She sang with a look on her face that spoke volumes. Both crews were watching her with wide eyes. 

Amber eyes flashed with barely contained rage. 

In a flurry of movement Yellow jumped up, knocking over the table and aiming her flintlock pistol straight at Blue. 

All sound in the tavern died in an instant and the little grin on Blue’s face had fallen away, but not to one of fear but shock. 

At the very least it shut her up, but now Yellow was at an impasse. 

Though Blue was soon to fix that.

Her look of shock quickly morphed into one of deadly seriousness.

"Well?" She asked taking a step forward pressing the muzzle of the pistol against her chest. "Are you going to fire or not?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. 

Yellow said nothing and made no move to pull the trigger.

"Need some help? I'll start…," she said it so lowly that Yellow wasn't even sure she had heard her when suddenly her pistol was knocked aside and her world became a wash of white light and pain, quickly followed by the thundering of furniture being thrown and battle cries all around. 

She opened her eyes just in time to see Blue rear back for another punch but this time was ready and caught the fist as it sailed through the air, jerking the other captain forward on to her raised knee as their crews brawled around them. 

A table flew through the air and splintered into a thousand pieces against the wall raining wood shrapnel down around them, Yellow closed her eyes against the debris just long enough for Blue to lunge forward, tackling her to the ground just as one man was thrown overhead sailing straight into the bar shattering several bottles.

Punches were thrown and teeth fell to the floor among the blood and rum as the two crews duked it out.

Yellow scowled trying to grab the other captain's flailing fists as she straddled her waist. Her hat had flown off somewhere and Blue’s headscarf was askew atop her head, silver hair a wild mess as they rolled across the grimy floor, somehow not getting trampled by their men.

With a thrust of her hips, she managed to throw the smaller woman off her, twisting an arm behind her back that made Blue cry out, a sound that elicited emotions in Yellow that she had not expected, allowing Blue the moment needed to ram the back of her head into the blonde’s face. 

“Shit!” She cursed, hands flying to her nose and eyes watering.

Suddenly she was tackled again, Blue flying into her midsection and sending them both reeling through the tavern door and out into the dirt. 

Yellow managed to kick away from Blue long enough to scramble to her feet just as she did. 

With a low growl, she lunged forward, grabbing both her wrists in an iron grip, and shoved her back against the side of the building. They’d stumbled half into the alley beside the tavern, the roaring of the fighting inside raged on without them. 

Blue winced as her back hit the wall with a low thud. She hissed before looking up at the taller woman looming over her, wrists caught in her iron grip.

They both stood their, muscles taught, red-faced, and panting.

Blue could feel the blonde’s hot breath on her face, those amber eyes flickered in the low, distant light. 

She wouldn’t be able to explain what came over her tomorrow.

She lunged forward, capturing Yellows mouth in a sudden searing kiss that made the blonde’s grip go slack. 

She should have taken the opportunity to punch the blond pirate again, but instead, she just dug her fingers in those golden hairs and pulled Yellow closer to her, deepening the kiss. 

Calloused hands wrapped around her waist and suddenly she was pulled flush against the tall, solid form of her greatest rival and she didn’t think anything of it.

Yellow pulled away but before Blue could even comprehend what was happening that mouth was on her neck, biting at the skin near her pulse and it felt like her legs were going to fold beneath her.

Surely the only thing keeping her upright now was Yellow’s iron grip on her hips. 

She moaned, tugging on the taller captain’s short locks, eliciting a growl from her that shot heat all through Blue’s body. 

“Marigold…” She mumbled with a heavy tongue before the blonde took hostage of her mouth again, which Blue allowed gladly.

“Blue!”  A voice called and a petite woman with short curly hair slid around the corner, stopping to stare at them with wide eyes.

Blue jerked out of the embrace at the sound of her sister’s voice. Turning to look at her with wide eyes. It was fairly dark, she wasn’t sure just how much her sister had or could see.

She turned back to Yellow, who was looking back at her with wide eyes, mouth hanging open in clear shock at what had just transpired.

Making a quick decision she reared back and punched the blonde square in the nose.

Yellow cried out, hands flying to her face as blood began to drip from her nose.

Blue took off down the alley, grabbing her sister’s hand as she passed, pulling her along.

“What the hell was that?” Rose asked as Blue pulled them along back toward the docks to the ship.

“Later,” she huffed, pulling her down the dock. 

She still needed to decide that for herself.

Yellow cursed to herself as she held her hopefully not broken nose as blood dripped down her face and onto her good white shirt. 

That annoyed her more than anything else…, well, not by half, but it was on her list. 

The sounds of fighting inside the tavern seemed to have died down as she stepped inside, and grabbed her hat off the floor before raising her pistol and firing a single shot into the ceiling, bringing all the brawling to an end.

Most of the remaining members of The Menagerie’s crew scampered out of the tavern, climbing out through the windows of the holes they had bashed through the walls when their Captain did not reappear.

“Cap’n!” Jasper was at her side within a moment, a black eye already forming and a split lip dribbling blood down her chin.

“Gather the crew and get back to the ship!” Yellow barked, kicking a drunken deckhand laying near her feet. ‘We set out at daybreak!” With that she turned and stomped back to the ship, face set in a stony glare. 

“You heard the Cap’n!” Jasper’s loud, gravelly voice bellowed.         

Yellow wiped at the blood dripping across her mouth, but even it’s salty tang couldn’t make her forget the way Blue’s lips had tasted.

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 44: Oᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ Iɴᴛᴇʀғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty-Four

Most of the next week passed studying Trigedasleng with Octavia and although I tried my best, I couldn’t help the feeling that I wasn’t absorbing anything. I returned to Bellamy every evening with a blaring headache and although he was exhausted by his responsibilities with the guard, he could somehow still find the energy to draw me into the comfort of his body. There was never any conversation about my residence in camp and we didn’t discuss finding a place for me with the others in dorms. Instead, we simply fell into a routine that seemed natural and his continued company provided a comfort that I depended on.

This morning Bellamy was summoned to a meeting with Kane and I dressed for another mentally draining day of training with Octavia. I strolled across the courtyard on route to the dorms to check on Jasper, as I did every few days. From the moment that I stepped into this small wing of the dorms and found Monty sitting in an obvious state of stress, I knew that something was wrong. Monty gazed up at me with tired eyes and I felt my stomach twist with anxiety.

“Hey, I was going to check on Jasper but it looks like you could do with some TLC right now.” I explained as I inspected him with concern and he released a long sigh.

“It’s not really the best time to visit him, I’m pretty sure he’s asleep.” Monty commented in a drained tone and I hummed in response to allow him the chance to get his feelings off his chest. “He was pretty frantic last night so I slipped him a sleeping pill. I don’t know what else to do for him, he’s just not getting any better.” Monty breathed with a clear exasperation and I shuffled on my seat. I could easily recognise the strain of the situation in his tense posture and my heart ached for him. 

“He’s been through a lot. Mount Weather was traumatic for us all.” I stated in a non committal attempt at comfort that only seemed to come across as disingenuous. Monty nodded with a distant expression and I attempted to find something helpful to say. “Plus he lost Maya right at the end of it. Grief is a long process, it’ll take time.” I advised as I met his eyes with a gentle, supportive smile and he leaned forward to position his elbows on his knees.

“You were out of bed by now.” He declared in a quiet voice as he spoke toward the ground, avoiding my reaction and I shrugged in response.

“I had suspicions that my only remaining family were in danger. I only left that room because I needed to investigate, you can’t compare the situations. I know it’s difficult Monty. I can’t imagine how hard it is to just watch him going through this, but all we can do is keep being there for him.” I clarified in an effort to guide him away from expecting to hit the same milestones as my experience and he nodded guiltily at me. “You had it pretty rough in there too, cut yourself some slack. How are you adjusting?” I investigated as I carefully examined him. He stared thoughtfully into the distance and I found myself wondering if anyone else had thought to check on him.

“It’s not easy.” He started and I held my hands out to gesture for him to elaborate. It was important to me that he was given a chance to receive support too; he was often so busy offering wisdom to everyone else that I doubted anyone considered his needs. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to be out of there and back with our own people. It’s just that...well it’s not quite the same as before, is it? We lost people, they lost people. It’s not just our little camp anymore. There’s all these rules and procedures and now we’re just the kids again, as if we didn’t just spend months fighting for our lives.” He ranted with a gradually building frustration behind his words and I remained silent as I listened attentively. 

“And now, my best friend is completely broken and I can’t fix him. You know, the only time he speaks to me at the moment is to remind me that I helped to kill those people. He’s right, I did have a part in that and I have to live with that, which is hard enough already without the constant guilt trips. It’s exhausting, dealing with his behaviour and covering for him so that he doesn’t get in trouble for laying there being a fucking vegetable.” He spat and although I was surprised by his outburst, I maintained my calm exterior as he had done countless times for me. “Sorry Indie, I didn’t mean to say all of that. You’ve got your own shit to deal with.” He grumbled sheepishly and I released a gentle chuckle.

“It’s okay, you clearly needed it.” I remarked with an air of amusement. It was strange to see Monty depart from his wise, calm exterior, even if only temporarily. “Feel better?” I asked and as he nodded, I noticed that his shoulders dropped some of their tension. “Now, what can I do to help? It’s not right for you to deal with him alone. We’re a family, we do this together.” I offered in a determined manner as he sighed thoughtfully.

“I really don’t know if there’s anything you can do.” He mumbled and I waited patiently whilst he visibly considered it. “Some of the other council members are getting frustrated with his absence in mechanical, they’re low on volunteers. I’m doing what I can to fill in for him but there’s only so many shifts I can work. I just need to get him active again.” He spoke in a jumbled up manner that indicated that he was still thinking aloud and I smiled fondly at him.

“Well, I can’t make him better any faster, but I’ve been restricted to light duties. I could cover his shifts for you. I’m not quite at Jasper’s level of brainiac but if you can find someone to teach me the basics, I’ll take the grunt jobs. Can’t be as hard as you smart asses make it look.” I teased as I elbowed him playfully and I felt a pang of sadness when I wasn’t able to encourage a smile from him in return.

“I can’t ask you to do that Indie.” Monty mumbled as he avoided my gaze and his face contorted into a guilty grimace that seemed completely out of place on him. I couldn’t stand the thought that he would rather suffer through so much alone than ask for help and so I leaned down to meet his eyes.

“You’re not asking me to do anything. Jasper is family, I’m happy to help him however I can.” I asserted. “Besides, what else am I busy with?” I argued and his tired eyes finally raised to meet mine with a relieved smile.

“I know a guy who owes me a favour… if you really don’t mind, I can ask him to mentor you.” He conceded and I nodded keenly in response. “But I’m not letting you take all of Jasper’s shifts. You’ve done enough for this camp already, I want you to take some time to take care of yourself.” He clarified in a firm voice and I laughed lightly at his protectiveness.

“I will if you do.” I offered with a raised brow and he shrugged in defeat.

By the time I had survived my intense lesson with Octavia, I was ready to collapse. Now that Abby had declared me as fit for light exercise, we’d moved onto basic prep for combat training. Octavia was reluctant to fully spar with me, despite my insistence that I was feeling healthier and instead led me through simple footwork and postures. Regardless, it was unexpectedly tiring after months of allowing my body to deteriorate and I had to admit defeat earlier than usual. I returned to Bellamy’s quarters for a fresh set of clothes after working up a sweat in my first outfit. I was surprised when he wandered inside and it was clear from his reaction that he hadn’t expected to find me here. There was a nervousness in his demeanour as he viewed me which caused my stomach to flip with anticipation.

“You’re back early, I thought you’d be busy with Octavia for a while yet.” He stated as he met my gaze with an expression as if he’d been caught in the act and I could feel nerves building in my chest as I considered numerous situations that could be causing his unusual behaviour.

“Short lesson today. How was your meeting?” I asked as I cocked a brow at him suspiciously and he cleared his throat. I noticed that he shifted on the spot and rubbed at the back of his neck, which were his telltale signs of avoidance. He dragged his eyes back from the floor with an obvious reluctance and sighed deeply in a defeated manner.

“Kane’s sending the guard out for a patrol. He wants me to lead the training group.” He revealed with a hesitance in his tone that revealed he was expecting a negative reaction and I felt my posture stiffen despite my best efforts to contain it.

“When?” I hoped that if I kept my responses short that I could veil the intense anxiety I felt at this idea but my voice broke as the word left my lips and I cursed myself inwardly.

“This afternoon.” He confirmed and I felt my heart jump into my throat. I stared back at him with wide eyes as I tried to gulp down my concern and he stepped closer with a reassuring smile. “It’s only a simple scan of the area. He wants us to start mapping out our surroundings so we can set up regular patrols. We shouldn’t be gone for long.” He explained as I battled to suppress the fear that threatened to overwhelm me.

“Okay.” I breathed with a forced tone of calm. Despite the crushing anxiety that I felt, I understood that I couldn’t hold him in camp all of the time and that if I desired for life to return to normal, I had to trust him to remain safe. I felt nauseous as I reminded myself that I couldn’t suffocate him and concentrated on controlling my nerves. “I get it, makes sense. Please be safe.” I answered with a forced smile and he gently reached out to put a hand on my arm to stabilise me.

“I’ll be okay.” He asserted and I nodded nervously. “Will you?” He asked with his brows furrowing in concern. I knew that he was reluctant to leave me alone and smiled at his care.

“I’ll manage. Monty’s gonna fix me up with some shifts in mechanical, he needs help filling in for Jasper whilst he’s...well, you know. So I’ll focus on arranging that.” I explained with an awkward shrug and I noticed a hint of guilt in Bellamy’s face at the mention of Jasper’s condition.

“Sounds good. I didn’t realise that was a skill of yours.” He winked playfully and I pushed him as I scoffed. He sighed thoughtfully and his smile faded before he spoke again. “He needs to get out of bed eventually. Maybe having a role will help him. I could add him to the guard training group?” He suggested and I hummed in consideration.

“I don’t think he’s ready for that right now.” I muttered with a remorseful expression. “It’s a good thought for the future though. He’s always been brave, protecting camp might bring some of that back.” I agreed and he nodded back.

“I’ve gotta round up the troops. I’ll be careful, you make sure you do the same whilst I’m gone.” He stated as he took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes with intensity.

“Don’t take any risks out there Bel. I don’t care what Kane says, you come back safe.” I whispered and he smiled fondly before bringing his lips to mine in a lingering kiss. My hands found his arms to cling to and I subconsciously held him in place. It was only a simple outing, I acknowledged that I was being unreasonable but the anxiety bubbled in my chest regardless. 

***

The moment that Bellamy left to prepare for the mission, I sought out Monty in an effort to occupy my mind and was stunned to discover that he was dressed in guard uniform. I couldn’t prevent my worry from flooding into my face as I scanned him and when he met my eyes, he smiled encouragingly.

“You’re going too?” I asked in a small, nervous voice and he nodded in confirmation. “Bellamy didn’t mention that you were part of his group.” I stated with sadness dripping from my words as he zipped up his guard jacket and I gulped at the crest glinting proudly on his chest.

“Yeah, Miller and Harper too. It’ll be good to get out on missions again, I’m starting to feel like a hermit.” He smiled genuinely and I recalled his words from this morning. It seemed that he needed this post more than I had initially realised and I tried not to allow my nerves to dampen his enthusiasm.

“Sounds like they took the full Mount Weather fighter crew. I’m glad you’ll have those two to watch your back.” I smiled as I spoke in an effort to conceal my feelings and strained to force my voice into a higher pitch. “Any chance you could set me up with this contact of yours before you head out? I could do with the distraction whilst you’re all gone.” I added in a forced casual tone and he shrugged.

“Thought you might. I’ve already prepared Knox that you might show up and he confirmed there is a shift this afternoon if you want it. Raven’s going to keep an eye on Jasper whilst I’m gone so you don’t have to worry about that either.” He informed and I smiled at how well prepared he was for my anxiety. “We’ll be alright, Indie. Bellamy will keep us safe and I’ll keep an eye on him for you.” He winked and I felt my eyes well up slightly with appreciation.

“Maybe you should keep an eye on Harper whilst you’re out there.” I teased, earning a playful slap on the arm.

***

The mechanical unit was bustling upon my arrival and it was difficult to seek out my new mentor with only a name. After wandering aimlessly for a while, I was approached by a young looking man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He waved awkwardly as he neared and it was clear that he was a skittish personality.

“Hey, you must be Knox?” I addressed him with an uncertain expression which earned a nervous smile when he reached me.

“Indigo?” He asked and I nodded in confirmation. “Monty’s told me a lot about you. Come on, I’ll show you our work room.” He explained quietly and I followed as he shuffled through the halls. We arrived in an area of the unit that appeared to be an old hangar and he led me to a corner that was separated by rows of shelves containing numerous boxes of supplies, surrounding a large workbench. “This is our new office. I’ve gotta ask, how much experience have you got with these kinda tasks? Were you on Mecha?” He enquired with a friendly interest in his smile and I shrugged.

“No, actually I grew up on Arrow station, sector B.” I revealed and noticed that he hummed in understanding as his expression became sympathetic. Everyone knew that Sector B was badly maintained and practically falling apart. The only families who resided there were those of little importance and stature. It was equal only with the sector that Bellamy and Octavia grew up in and I had often considered whether our shared understanding of the struggles of growing up under that kind of strain was the foundation for our bonds. “But it was just my mother and I, so most of the fixing things were down to me. So I guess you could say...some limited experience, but a ton of enthusiasm?” I clarified with a light tone and he chuckled under his breath.

“Well, enthusiasm always helps. Let’s get started on some basics.” He remarked as he led me to the workbench.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on simple, repetitive tasks with Knox, who gradually opened up to me with my continued persuasion. He revealed that he had grown up on Agro station with Monty and Jasper and as a result he knew the two of them well. Their time on Earth had changed them substantially from how he remembered them, but he still considered them friends and, like me, he wished to help Jasper however he could.

By the time that it became dark outside the guard group still hadn’t returned and I found myself growing restless. I was relieved to finish the shift and hurried to the boys quarters to investigate whether Raven had heard anything from them. When I entered their dorm, she seemed exhausted and barely managed to confirm that there had been no word from the group between Jasper’s manic outbursts in the background. She sighed in exasperation as she explained that she hadn’t expected to be on babysitting duty for this long and I offered to take her place until Monty and the others returned. She practically snapped my hand off in enthusiasm at this offer and bolted from the space, leaving me alone with Jasper. I pulled up a chair to sit nearby as he paced the room in an anxious state and watched him with sympathetic eyes.

“What can I do to help you Jasper?” I spoke in a gentle voice in fear of startling him and he halted in place as he turned to view me with wide eyes.

“Nothing!” He hissed with an outraged expression and I held my position firmly against his aggression. “You can’t take the pain away, no one can. How am I supposed to carry on after what happened?” He rambled as he resumed pacing and tugged at the roots of his hair obsessively.

“I don’t know, I don’t have the answers for you. Did you think any more about your new focus?” I suggested in a calm tone and he scoffed at me scornfully.

“I can’t think about it. I can’t think about anything other than Maya’s face as she died in my arms. Don’t you remember what it’s like? Or have you forgotten now that you have your precious Bellamy back?” He spat in an accusing tone and I felt my back straighten defensively. Monty had mentioned he could be a handful but I was surprised by the extent.

“I won’t ever forget how that felt or how lucky I am to be in the situation that I am now. I understand how you feel Jasper, I know that you’re hurting and I’m trying to help you.” I appealed to him gently and was shocked when he viewed me with a disdain that made my stomach twist.

“You want to help me? I doubt you can even concentrate with Bellamy still out of camp. I know how one track minded you are when it comes to him. How can you even think about helping me when you’re sitting here pining over your boyfriend who gave the order to kill all of those people. He’s a fucking murderer!” Jasper’s voice gradually raised from a spiteful hiss into furious yelling and I was stunned at his behaviour. I had hardly ever seen him so much as raise his voice before and although I understood that he was grieving, I didn’t recognise the person standing in front of me.

“In case you’ve forgotten, so am I! I was when I arrived and I’ve lost track of how many people I’ve killed since then.” I reminded him with a firm voice and watched his temper finally begin to calm at my words. “We’ve all done things since we arrived here that we would never have imagined ourselves doing. The cost of survival has been high and some people in particular have had to make decisions which are way outside of their experience. Bellamy, Clarke, all of the leadership have done the best they can in impossible situations, I would expect you to understand that better after the responsibility you had in Mount Weather. You don’t have to agree with their choice, but it’s done now. Grieving or not, you do not get to punish them for it forever Jasper. Your feelings don’t give you a free pass to be a dick and that goes especially for your treatment of Monty.” I advised and fixed him with a stern look as he became sheepish under my scrutiny. “You want to be angry with someone? Be angry with me, I can take it. But you need to stop pushing everyone else away. We all care about you, let us help.” As I finished speaking, I witnessed his face crumble to upset and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.

“It just...it hurts all the time. How do I make it stop?” He struggled to get the words out between the frantic sobs that wracked his chest and I rushed forward to pull him into a tight embrace. He surrendered himself into my grip as I placed a hand on the back of his head and could easily feel a few small sections where he’d already pulled hair out in his stress.

“I know my darling, I know. I wish I could make it stop for you.” I whispered as I rubbed his back calmingly and waited for him to compose himself. By the time he leaned out of my grip, I had lost track of how long he had cried into my shoulder and I noticed that he immediately returned to tugging at his roots in a gesture of stress. I gently took his hand in mine and encouraged it away from his nervous habit. “You need to stop doing that, you’ll have no hair left soon.” I smiled tenderly at him as he dried his eyes.

“I’m sick of it, it’s driving me insane. I need a change. I was thinking about shaving it off.” He mumbled and as he met my eyes I struggled to contain my horror at this idea. “I...I know you said you wanted to help me, I can’t do it myself. I have the graders already. Could you...do you mind doing it for me?” He requested with an evident vulnerability in his voice and I felt dread forming in my stomach. I truly wanted to assist him in any way that I could, but this felt like such a betrayal to the young, naive Jasper, who I still remembered pushing back his scruffy mane with a dorky set of goggles. The memory of his smiling, hopeful face caused my heart to ache as I looked into his eyes which revealed the same lifeless void that mine had shown only weeks ago.

“If it will help you, of course.” I agreed as I forced a smile and noticed visible signs of surprise in his face. “It’s just hair right, it grows back.” I commented and he sighed with relief. Once I had witnessed his response, I became certain in my decision and set everything up for the task. 

A wave of nerves crashed over me as I sat with Jasper on the floor between my knees and the graders in my hand. I took the last opportunity to run my fingers through his slightly patchy, scruffy locks to commit them to memory before I carefully ran the contraption through and watched the first clump of hair drop to the ground. Jasper’s shoulders relaxed as if the hair itself was a weight lifted and I clenched my jaw in an effort to contain the tears that filled my eyes. I couldn’t explain why this felt so significant a change, but as I worked through all of the hair, it felt as if I was letting go of all of the people we’d once been. My mind reflected on the changes in all of us in our time here, the suffering and hardship that we’d all had to endure and a bitterness that I had denied until now surged in my chest.

When I finished, Jasper stood to shake off the remaining hair and strode straight to a mirror to check my work. I sniffed back the tears and ensured that my calm facade was still in place. There was a hint of a smile in the corner of his lips when he returned to me and I treasured the feeling that I’d managed to restore it. He sat opposite me wordlessly and I glanced up at a clock to check the time. It was getting late and my stomach churned with anxiety as I considered what could have happened to the missing group. I turned my gaze back to Jasper with a sigh.

“Well, looks like I’ll be sleeping here, if you don’t mind. I’ll go crazy waiting by myself.” I admitted in an effort to conceal the fact that I was too afraid to leave him unsupervised and he nodded. “Not that I’ll be doing much sleeping.” I added in a small voice as I wrung my hands together nervously and Jasper rose to his feet to cross the room.

“Ah, I have a solution to that particular problem.” He announced as he rooted around in the cupboards before he appeared gripping a familiar bottle. “Monty’s private stash. Join me?”

Hours passed in the quiet room as Jasper and I sipped on moonshine and I obsessively stared at a walkie talkie that Raven had stolen for me. The group were still using the homemade set from our old camp and Jasper pointed out that they were only for short range use. I tried to comfort myself with the assurance that they were simply of our range and didn’t allow my mind to obsess over the fact that they hadn’t planned to travel far. Jasper fell asleep in a stressed heap and I was left with the remainder of the bottle, which had succeeded in making me tired as I intended, but was not enough to help me sleep off my terror. Eventually, I must have collapsed from a mixture of exhaustion and intoxication as I was overwhelmingly haunted by nightmares. 

“Arkadia, this is Squad Blake. We’re almost back at camp, prepare to open the gates.” I woke with a start when the radio crackled and I stared at it with a rush of adrenaline. I felt my stomach flip at the sound of Bellamy’s voice through the tinny speaker and leapt to my feet. 

I darted from the room and out into the courtyard at the exact moment that the gates and the group were dragging themselves inside. Some of them were supporting each other to walk and they all appeared to have had a gruelling time outside. My gaze anxiously flitted over the team as they filtered inside and I was pleased to witness Harper and Miller seeming relatively unharmed. When Monty appeared I started to power walk toward the gate and as Bellamy finally shuffled inside at the back of the team, I broke into a jog. 

I threw myself into his arms before he’d even registered my arrival and knocked him back in surprise. There were several chuckles from the group behind me but I ignored them as I squeezed Bellamy and he embraced me in return. After a few moments of reassurance I stepped back only to seize Monty in a similarly oppressive bear hug and he snorted in laughter at my display of affection. I extracted myself from the hug to view them both with exasperation.

“Where were you? You said you weren’t going to be long!” I grilled as Monty shifted awkwardly out of my gaze and Bellamy simply flashed a guilty smile.

“I’m sorry for scaring you Love. Things didn’t go to plan.” He stated in a light tone as he tucked his hands into his pockets and I scoffed in frustration.

“No shit, longest night of my life.” I commented firmly causing a chuckle from him, before I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the unsteady form of his posture. “Looks like it was long for you too. Are you alright?” I asked in a softer voice as I scanned him closely for any signs of injury.

“It’s been rough, but I’m fine. Better now I’m back with you.” He remarked with a sneaky wink and I smiled fondly at him. “I’ve gotta debrief with Kane and will have to make sure all the equipment gets returned properly. Meet me in my room after?” He requested as he squeezed my arm affectionately and I could no longer hold my air of annoyance in the face of his sparkling smile.

“Sure, but I’m not sure when I’ll be free. I’ve got another session with Octavia and I need to check with Knox when my next shift is.” I thought aloud as I noticed some of the others were getting rather impatient as they waited for him. “I’ll be there tonight, definitely.” I confirmed as I stepped away but before I could get far he grabbed my arm to pull me back to him.

“Wait a second, who’s Knox?” He enquired with a brow cocked at me in suspicion and I was surprised by the firmness of his grip.

“He’s a friend of Monty’s from the Ark, he’s mentoring me so I can get up to speed with covering for Jasper.” I explained casually and I noticed that Bellamy seemed displeased with this information. There was a darkness in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before and I was thrown off guard by how quickly his attitude had changed.

“Wait, you started that already? I thought Monty was teaching you?” He grilled as he examined me closely and I shifted awkwardly under his scrutiny. I couldn’t understand why he was behaving this way over something that I had been honest with him about and that was completely innocent in nature.

“No, I said Monty was going to arrange the shifts for me.” I clarified as he furrowed his brows at me in disapproval, as if I had intentionally given him incorrect information. “Why are you being weird? I told you about this and you agreed it was a good idea.” I recalled in a defensive tone as I crossed my arms at him and he scoffed in disbelief.

“Yeah, well, that was before I knew it was some random guy you were working with.” He stated in exasperation and I could tell from his body language that he was genuinely riled by this discovery. “I didn’t realise you’d be busy with him whilst I was missing.” He added bitterly as he avoided meeting my eyes and I raised my brows at him.

“Oh come on! That was a low blow, okay. I needed the distraction. Also, he’s basically a kid-”

“Bellamy! Are you coming?!” Miller called out, interrupting me mid-flow and I growled in annoyance.

“I’ll see you later.” He groaned as he reluctantly tore himself away from me and I was left to simmer in my temper.

I was glad for my session with Octavia this morning, as it allowed me to burn off some of the stress. Now that we had progressed to basic combat, Lincoln joined in with the instructing. My time with the two of them mostly consisted of me trying to attack, whilst they demonstrated how much faster they were and I found every possible way of face-planting the ground. It was a struggle to keep going after the heavy exhaustion of the night, but the well of anger in my mind kept me fuelled. 

By midday when we broke off, Octavia praised me for my grit and revealed that the determination to always get back up was a vital part of being a grounder. This was an amusing discovery for me, as stubbornness had never been a praised part of my personality in the past and I was pleased that my lack of regard for when the odds were too stacked against me was finally beneficial.

When I arrived at mechanical, Knox confirmed that Monty was due to cover the afternoon shift for Jasper but hadn’t turned up. I calculated that he was likely either still being briefed, or had completely forgotten about it after the strain of the night and volunteered to work in his place. Knox and I set up in our assigned corner and although I felt completely tapped from my morning activities, I fought to keep focused on the mind numbing tasks that I was assigned. I could feel the pounding of a headache creeping in, despite the very light hangover and I realised as nausea struck that I hadn’t managed to eat anything. Knox wandered closer to hand me a bottle of water with a knowing look and I smiled thankfully before taking a long drink.

“Rough night?” He stated with an understanding smile and I deduced that he had likely been worried for Monty too.

“The roughest in a while and that’s saying something. Lots of people I care for in that guard group.” I confirmed and he nodded back with a sympathetic expression.

“It’s been hard for you guys down here, huh?” He mumbled and avoided my gaze as he spoke. I knew that things hadn’t been easy on the Ark either, but until now I hadn’t considered what it was like for those loved ones of the 100 who weren’t privileged enough to hear the communications. Sure, Jaha let the camp radio their families once, but in the weeks before that they had no idea whether we’d survived the landing and most were likely still unaware of the hardships that we’d endured since. “Monty and Jasper are so different, I guess you all must be.” He added under his breath and I sighed thoughtfully.

“It’s been touch and go for all of us from the start.” I stated as I reflected on the chaos of our first camp and realised that there was no way we would ever be able to simplify those times into a summary for the others that would adequately convey the strain of the experiences. “Literally from day one where I watched Jasper get speared through the chest.” I muttered thoughtlessly and Knox’s eyes grew wide. “Yeah, welcome to Earth, right.” I sighed as I tried to think of a way to explain our hardened personalities. 

“I could sit here and tell you every little thing that happened at our old camp, but it still wouldn’t put you in the same head space as the boys. We struggled for every basic need, almost starved or froze to death more times than I could count. People died, kids died and we couldn’t stop it. Everyone in that camp went through trauma and the only reason that we survived was because of our bonds. We grew together and became what we had to, but underneath that, we’re still the same people. Whatever relationship you had with the boys before, they haven’t forgotten it.” I reassured and he seemed taken aback by my honesty. He got to his feet awkwardly and cleared his throat.

“I didn’t get a chance to eat this morning, I’m gonna grab some food. Do you need anything?” He asked with a concerned expression and I groaned with relief.

“God, yes.”