#thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth
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3, 11, 69?
3. Do you regret anything?
of course i do. i wish i could do all of college over again because i didn't do anything fun or make any friends. i wish i spent more time with my dad before he died suddenly. i wish i told him i loved him every single day. the grief is everlasting, the closure is unattainable. next question please
11. Do you like someone?
i like plenty of people. i do not have a finite amount of love in my heart.
69. Do you believe in soul mates?
not in a preordained supernatural fashion but i think there are people who feel like twin flames. i feel lucky to know them.
#ask meme#i feel like people are made uncomfy by my answers here#thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth
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LETS GOOO I FUCKING FOUND AN INTERVIEW posting the link here for later since there's no transcript & i do not have an hour rn. listen later
#sorry to all the mroe recent followers who are not used to the fact that every so often i have a category 5 caleb moment#thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth#texticles#save
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The solidarity of never being yourself
#god i love these two so much. the lonliest kids on earth#theres so much they have in common. so much they have apart. what a duo#it makes me so sad when people treat teruhashi like a nuisance or a bitch for liking saiki :^(#he is literally one of two people on earth [second being his asshole brother] who doesnt put her on a pedestal#shes just. anyone else to him. and that means everything#idk. she should be allowed to have a crush without getting her head bashed in with a pvc pipe#saiki k#saiki kusuo#teruhashi kokomi#terusai#<- if thats how you wanna read this interaction!#fuzzy's art
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ack!!! ooooooouuuuuugggghhhh‼️leggo of me 😤
release me from thine firm and tender grasp, wench,
and let me roam freely these pastures, these
rolling hills and awesome mountains, these
jumping springs and bouncing brooks, uncage
me that i might bound into
the bountiful fields and bodacious skies, that i might
fly to where the air is fresh and clean, that i may
cherish the splendor
of the oceans and clouds and the lands between them,
and i shall return unto
thee, sweet, and tender,
brimming full, soaked saturated with sea and sunlight and all things warm and wild, and place them into your firm and tender grasp again--
so that you may hold the world in me, and in so doing, allow thine own self be released
if you're transgender it's a moral obligation to hold each other tight
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so theres these 2 zombie apocalypse daughters and im a disappointed parent who plays favorites
#twdg replay got me feeling Feelings....then i remember i have Another zombie daughter i neglect these days >.>#this is not me pitting 2 bad bitches against each other im just thinking abt ellie and her poor life choices lol#clem got Everything ellie threw away : ) fool#ellie im so sorry its not your fault#sometimes i remember how important ellie and tlou were to me before ......#anyway :) *thunder stops clouds part sun shining birds chirping*#clem is happy at her forever home with her found family and baby boy and co leader girlfriend :) peace and love on planet earth :)#clem does Not get the appreciation she deserves and i stand by that. clementine you will Always be famous. the original. the blueprint.#CLEM I LOVE U BBY GIRL i will give u ur flowers forever#all wlw who stopped playing twdg before s4 go play s4 right now i am no longer asking#the amount of people who havent played s4...wat r u doin....its the final season...pains me#anyway back to my brain hell :) guess i'll just sit here by myself#thats ok :) my house now#it speaks#twdg#tlou
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Hanif Abdurraqib, it’s not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die | Anne Carson, H of H Playbook | Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain | Franz Wright, Heaven | Toby Whithouse, shooting script for Being Human S1E1 | Franz Wright, Heaven | Erin Slaughter, I Hope My Salt Lamp is a Weeping Deity | Richard Siken, Straw House, Straw Dog & My Country: The New Age, Episode 16
image descriptions in alt
#my country: the new age#nam seon-ho#seo hwi#listen guys (gn). the worms have been festering the dots have been connected the illness contracted etc!! this is an exorcism attempt#bro what if we had both been suicidal for years bc we just wanted everything to be over but we repeatedly saved each others lives#even when we were enemies bc even when we were fighting for different visions of this country we were still *each others* countries#and what if in the end we realized we were never meant to be apart in the first place and gave each other permission to finally let go#but gave our deaths meaning by sacrificing our lives so that everyone else could live in a country of peace !!!!#basically what if we went from best friends to enemies to allies to enemies to soulmates and died in each others arms and we were both boys#their dynamic is so. i wanna eat so much dirt i tunnel right through the earth and end up in argentina.#god. GOD. im like 5 years late but is anyone out there still insane like me in pain like me etc hmu#wait maybe i should put some warnings on this bitch uhhh hold on#blood cw#death tw#suicidal ideation cw#<- just in case bc idk how else to tag for the uhhh extremely normal mindset of both of them#i hope thats it? if i missed sth let me know! also if u read this far u'll get to see the business tags i forgot at the top lol#cavetext#mctna#nam seon ho#poetry#seonhwi#caveweb#also u would not Believe the fucking sleuthing i went through to find the source poem for that erin slaughter quote jfc#thats what i get for keeping incomplete notes ig :/#also ive found the franz wright poem as both 'heaven' and 'the heaven' so ?? who knows
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The pushback to the term "cultural Christianity" from atheists is real odd to me because, as someone who has been an atheist since 13, only ever went to church a handful of times never with my own family (made a note never to sleep over at that friends house on a Saturday again bc I HATED church it smelled like shit, was boring, pews are uncomfortable as fuck, and the religious people I knew were all wildly misogynistic and I've never been here for being told I was less of a person for being Born Like This), and generally had no actual connection to Christianity in a meaningful way but still only knows Christian mythology, has been steeped in Christian values I had to untangle, and my religious understandings are still deeply Christian.
Like Ive never paid attention to the bible, church, Jesus, Christian teachings, or whatever but if you asked me about any religion the one I'll reliably know the most about is Christianity. I don't know why atheists are offended by being called culturally Christian because they have bad blood with the religion because like sorry bruh that doesn't mean you're less indoctrinated by Christian values if the culture you grew up in is predominantly Christian. In fact I'd say that religion being this ubiquitous in the culture regardless of anyone's consent to exactly ONE religion being shoved down our throats is reason to team up with other religious folks who ALSO don't like being constantly evangelized to by the culture at large, not a reason to throw a fit because you don't like being tied to a religion that is so ingrained into the culture that shit like "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ" are common expressions of surprise regardless of how atheist you are. Like surely I'm not the only atheist to notice the shocking amount of cultural religious shit that works it's way into my life and speech despite having not set foot in a church since I was like 10, and I can't remember the last time I was in one before that.
Idk man cultural Christianity seems like a pretty damn useful term to describe my relationship with a religion I never fully bought into and then actively rejected as a child yet still hold weird connections to and knowledge of just because Christianity is so baked into the culture I grew up in like it or not. If you want to be mad, be mad at the Christians who stole your freedom from religion from you, not usually religious minorities who discuss cultural Christianity and how it damages them too.
#winters ramblings#like breh i HATE how much christian bullshit ive had to detangle from my life. like the idea of sin and punishment for example#id say a LOOOOOT of discussion regardless of religion leans towards a Christian understanding of the pridon system#prison is basically a recreation of hell on earth where youre supposed to go to burn off your sins in your 10x10 cell#now i gotta say not all Christians buy inti the styke of punishment and sin i know normal well adjusted Christians#but for the most part a HUGE portion of shit comes with a helping of cultural Christianity. but prison is probably the best example#hell any discussion of punishment relies on a distinctly christian flavor of 'atone for your sin or be doomed forever"#repubs bitch about so called cancel culture but thats just how Christians act towards sin lmao they do it too#except they choose shit you didnt ACTIVITY make a choice about like being gay to condem you to hell.#cant be mad that twitter cancels people for small shit like a crap joke if you actively subscribe to the same belief system#and are only mad bc that logic is applied to YOU now. anyway i could do without this logic in activist spaces#or ANY spaces being doomed forever over sin is only one way to do Christianity. like damn can the ones who like#rehabilitation and justice and helping the poor at least be the ones in charge??#regardless ive never been a Christian and barely have a meaningful connection to the religion. whuch is why i find it rather salient#that i still have this deep connection and knowledge of something i ACTIVELY REJECTED at 13#do you know HOW MUCH i had to have been indoctrinated into this shit with as LITTLE of a connection to organized religion as i do??#the fact i have ANY connection at all is kind if fucked honestly it shows you really REALLY do not get to choose#your religious leanings unless youre actively ANOTHER RELIGION BESIDES CHRISTIAN otherwise tough tiddy#you get to be Christian By Default and i don't like it either. but when i see jewish people talking about it#i know EXACTLY what they mean because i dont like my connection to a religion i never believed in and rejected at 13 either#i don't like that my choice to reject Christianity was stolen from me by such a ubiquitously christian culture#im not mad at jews for pointing this out im mad at christians for stealing my freedom of choice
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Been watching some dbs related videos and I'm sosoo glad I gave up on that anime because oh my god the story gets worse with every arc. Wtf are they even doing anymore
#watched a vid summarizing the granolah arc and literally genuinely what was that#my favorite part was when frieza showed up outta nowhere with a new form he'd cultivated#in a alternate dimension that distorts time in a similar way that the room of space and time does#proceeded to one hit kill the big bad of the week. knock out goku and vegeta for shits and giggles and then dip#hilarious#but it was meant to be totally serious and to show that frieza's totallyyyy a threat again guys for real lets goo round 3#and that was literally the most interesting part of the arc#Im so mad about the fucking bardock retcon#but not about the hypothetical wish he made. I remember reading somewhere that the English translation of the manga was incorrect#and ik a lot of people argue that the wish he made just retconned the whole message of dragon ball#but thats based on the English version of the manga#also speaking of bardock and retcons related to him Im still livid over the fact that they changed goku's origin story#to be an almost exact ripoff of superman's#and they retconned the start of the saiyan arc with that too#radirz said goku was sent to earth to destroy it as a baby. but now goku was sent to earth on purpose to save his life?#bullshit. I call bullshit#man Im sorry that most of my original posts so far have related to me bitching about Super#I want to engage with dragon ball contentbso bad but how can I when mostly everything is about Super now?#can't even read a good fanfic without goku's character being bastardized and infantalized the way it is in Super#literally fouvd my dream fic the other day but it got ruined 12 chapters in because the writer had started watching super#and completely changed the plit of the fic and goku's character to fit into the world where super resides and it made me want to eat glass#I will be more funny and talk about better dbz related stuff soon I prommy <3#star scrambles
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Giving up. I wiped as much of the nasty water out of the tub as I could. I'm just going to have to take the fastest shower of my life, since my tub isn't draining. And I'll try to get some Drano or something tomorrow
#speculation nation#negative/#i tried. i really did. for like a fucking hour#my hand hurts. i hurt. and i am still so upset. but sometimes thats just how it goes on this goddamn bitch of an earth.
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worth a shot, idk if anyone here particularly follows me for my art, but i've been drawing again... for another fandom.
been posting over on @bisexualmcqueen (yes, it's pixar cars, we know this about me. kachow and stuff)
#i havent left the mcyt fandom fully but when my brain switches hyperfixations its like a killswitch.#thats how it is on this bitch of an earth...#no pressure to look- i just know ive always got one or two silent lurkers who like my wacky pitchers#if youre pressed about my mcyt art- i only have 3-4 main fandoms so i always circle back around. see you then
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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lunar new year holiday ending
school tomorrow
#I hate my classmates#I don't even consider them my friends anymore because theyre SUPER transphobic#and I wish I was joking when i said that everyone in my school is stupid#like i cant tell if its because they're rich#thats the only thing they all have in common: they're rich and they're stupid#they're like the kardashians i swear#“if i had enough money I would quit keeping up with the kardashians”#“if i had enough money i would take a gap year” GIRL YOU LIVE IN THE MOST EXPENSIVE CONDO IN THE CITY#and most the teachers are fucking assholes#this one teacher made me have a full blown breakdown by telling me 'i dont deserve to be mentally ill' ???????????#there are only two teachers i like and i dont even like them very much honestly#actually i dont like anybody#everybody around me sucks#maybe because everybody around me is transphobic aka they all want me dead#huh i wonder why im so depressed all the time#my guidance counsellor (who's a bitch btw) asked me why im “so bothered that not everybody knows the same things you do”#which first of all - these people think the bladder the stomach the colon and the womb are the same organ. they are stupid.#imagine going to a uni lecture that talks about how the earth is round and everybody keeps asking BUT WHY the earth is round#then even the professor isn't even sure if the earth is round or not they're just reading from a textbook#welcome to my school#I currently hold the record for student with most missed days for 3 consecutive years#but my parents told me that i cant miss school tomorrow#one of the reasons i end up missing school is that my dad wakes me up in the morning#and my dad caused me severe trauma from trying to exorcise me after a sewerslide attempt by holding me down on the bed and reading verses#so imagine you have trauma from being held down onto a bed and hearing a specific person's voice and that person wakes you up every morning#YOU'RE GOING TO START YOUR DAY OFF WITH A PANIC ATTACK#last friday I literally woke up shaking and crying#also my parents bully me i feel like that's a major plot point in my personal lore its kinda funny actually#remember that video that went viral a few years back of the girl that said “checking up on my middle school bully” then calls her mom?#thats me btw LOL
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My body is falling apart around me. I'll be fine though lol
#noa.txt#i don't know how i can finish my shift like this but there's no where i can go so I'll just try to grin and bear it for 4 more hours.#just standing is sending like insane jolts of pain through my leg but thats how it is on this bitch of an earth.
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GOD. Epilogue of "A Dream a Kirin Dreamed" pisses me off. This is not to say it's bad by any stretch. It just pisses me off because WHY DIDN'T KIRYU BOTHER TO TELL DAIGO ANYTHING. Why did he just say "He didn't betray you" without backing up his point at all and then fuck off entirely without checking back in.
The man just woke up and he's awake for a week before he's discharged from the hospital??? Maybe catch him up to speed on something that's clearly weighing on him??? Or on anything else that's happened in the time he was unconscious ??? Hello???????
Like. Dude. Is it not enough that you're just dead weight for the entire fucking ending. Knowing this is your son's best friend. And no way he doesn't know because even aside from Mine's monologue which (obviously) focused on his perspective, Kiryu says himself when he encounters a journalist who can't find any friends or family to interview about Mine that Daigo would know him best.
KNOWING this is your son's best friend. You LET him kill himself in front of you both because for you, sitting on your ass and going "Mine!" was good enough. You didn't think to reason with him. You didn't think to grab onto his leg or something when he was three feet away. You weren't injured. You weren't THAT exhausted. You just didn't think to do it. Even though A SUBSTORY IN Y3 ENDS THE WAY THE MAIN STORY SHOULD HAVE AND IT'S ONE OF THE LAST THINGS YOU CAN DO BEFORE HEADING TO THE HOSPITAL.
Y3 ending is literally my Y7 ending in terms of how much anger rises up within me whenever I think about it because it just Somehow, To This Day, piles more and more on top that makes it worse than it already was. Like its ONLY saving grace is that Mine didn't actually die. Allegedly. At least you can argue Ichiban and Aoki didn't have time to react, but Kiryu had all the time in the world and did nothing.
Ok I need to stop I need to stop I know I should be mad at Yokoyama and Takeuchi and not Kiryu and I literally had to run this post through an all-caps -> sentence caps converter But Anyway Point Is If Ichi Had Been The Protagonist Of Y3 Mine Would Be Alive
i cant even really blame something like kiryu's emotional ineptitude to explain why he couldnt just be open about What Mine's Business Was because the guy can CLEARLY speak from the heart and say good and honest things. like he knows how to communicate For The Most Part so its truly just. The Fuck Happened Here you dont think it wouldve been a good idea to get daigo up to speed on the past week or 👁️👁️ just saying Mine Didn't Betray You is like. a FAIR start i GUESS but ELABORATE a bit ??
not at all a 'rare' L moment just a typical kiryu L honestly (;´д`)
#long post#snap chats#mizuki goated fr fr. highkey those two's substories are my fave theyre so fuckin bizarre.....#BUT REAL LIKE KIRYU. ILY I DO IM SORRY but i KNOW your ass can get up#mine DID just beat your ass but youre not THAT banged up and its not like you have any reason to relax after knowin richardsons alive#like there was PLENTY of time to react this some yakuza 'let him finish speaking its honorable' bullshit i PROMISE (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)#dont look down here im ranting about y7 related stuff#OK BUT NO THIS JUST REMINDED ME OF ONE OF THE MOST INFURIATING TAKES I READ ONCE#AND IT WAS BASICALLY PEOPLE BLAMING ICHI FOR AOKI DYING LIKE EXCUSE ME#how on gods green earth was ichi supposed to react in time- when its KUME of all people#what the fuck was he supposed to assume was going to happen its KUME he's a wet rag of a bitch boy#especially when all he did was praise aoki like how the fuck was he supposed to think he would stab him oh my godddd#like its not just kume showing up either ichi and aoki JUST had an intense emotional moment and they finally got a chance to breathe#like they thought they were good and in the clear and they were in a steadily-getting-better mood why would they be on guard (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)#FORGIVE ME thats been bothering me for months. i needed it off my chest#anyway im going for a walk. we got ice cream today and idk why i eat ice cream when it always makes me sad/lethargic#so heres to hoping a lil nature walk and heavy metal improves my mood a bit
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SO. NOVEMBER 19TH/20TH HUH.
#ehggghh. hhhhghhhhh#full circle time 👍#im legit sweating this is so stressful#ohhhhhhhh my god Akechi is the only one that Akira refuses to sell out in all 3 dialogue options. hold on i need to just . give me a moment#and he only just remembered...... he Knew......... and yet...............#i KNEW thats why it faded white sometimes i fucking knew there was something abt that. FUCK#lure them there ? hand it over...... app..... they. they planned this ??????..#holy hell. girl what on earth is happening. i already know what the next scene will probably be but what the fuck is happening#heyo !!!!!! theres the bitch. here we go#whats with the phone thing tho what was that. is that to make sure he doesnt ..........#there it is .......#thats. never going to not be a little unnerving#oh. well things just keep happening huh#the single bird on Yusukes canvas..#the birds....#oho?#thank fucking god they knew.. it was unbearable watching all of that thinking they didnt when he was So obvious about it but they knew.....#YES I KNEW IT#ok. okokok it makes sense now#the lil doodles depicting how things went are so good dksbxksn#ksvsjdh Yusuke KNOWING that Akira was being a cocky lil bastard after their plans worked and wishing he couldve seen it#djshxkjs some of the dialogue options here are so. 'listen im just glad i didnt die but also i was literally drugged and that Sucked'#i love Akira so much genuinely. protag of all time#p5#ok from here on i know of exactly two scenes. the rest is uncharted territory for me. terrifying <3
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randomly started thinking of that one loki comic of the myth where he gets his mouth sewn shut but the artist uses entirely the wrong type of stitches for it
#buzzy#'oh no one will care if you make a small mistake in your art :)' WRONG. I WILL NOTICE.#And i will remember it for the next decade#they used a fucking ZIGZAG STITCH#why on earth would you use a x#zigzag stitcg on a mouth??#thats so much fucking efforr#and it was like a perfect machine zigzag too#what is some bitch doing fucking embroidery on your mouth#no other issues w the comic it was your standard 2012 marvel avengers faire but i HEAVILY DOUBT that someone would go thru#THAT MUCH EFFORT#when sewing a mouth shut#just do a goddamn overcast stitch christ#the only reason it came to mind was im doing some hand sewing rn and struggling just to make neat lil Xs and thining#how neat those zigzags were.
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