#thats a lot of uchihas

[moon-trees]

kinda funny how fugaku calls itachi a kind child, and then 5 minutes later, itachi tortures his 7 year old brother.

fugaku: itachi, you truly are a kind child. take care of sasuke...

itachi: don't worry father, i will.

also itachi: tortures sasuke twice, manipulates and abandons him, and literally ruins his life.

fugaku, mikoto, and the entire uchiha clan:

[noushienoushnoush]

It just hit me that they really had to keep Sasuke out of Naruto The Last movie as much as possible in order to shoehorn Naruto and Hinata's relationship. Like, if that man got even a second of genuine interaction with Naruto, the supposed chemistry of NaruHina would've been lost completely because Naruto wouldn't stop talking about Sasuke and Sasuke wouldn't stop staring at Naruto. And the rest of the gang would be third, fourth, and fifth wheels (yes, I'm looking at you Sakura).

Like, can you imagine the magic water portal thingy scene if Sasuke was there??? I'm sorry Hinata but that's game over right there for you my gal. You might as well have been dismissed from the mission even though technically the whole thing kinda supposed to revolve around you in this movie.

Can you imagine instead of Hinata, it was Naruto and Sasuke getting to spend some alone time together in peace, in old, dusty, abandoned houses... reflecting on their childhood or the future?? Naruto looking at Sasuke as his thick black hair was caressed by a gentle breeze????!!!

I need to sit down.

So basiclly they just put Sasuke on the poster and gave him a few frames to acknowledge his existence and note what he's up to but they very deliberately kept him out of the story as much as possible because they knew. I feel like deep down, they just knew they couldn't have Hinata and Sasuke in the same room with Naruto if this was supposed to be a romantic movie above all else.

[atoriv-art]

<3

[anubisthe1]

You can't tell kakashi nothing about his students because whatever bad thing they do , kakashi has done worse.

*Sasuke kills the hokage and chidoris his teammate on the heart*

Kakashi, wiping away tears of joy: that is my son, no DNA test needed.

*Sakura and Naruto chasing after their uchiha that they haven't seen in years, and that tried to kill them.

Kakashi can't say anything here because if he knew that his uchiha was alive, then he would plan the longest and most dangerous obito rescue mission that will make the sasuke rescue mission pale in comparison.

Kakashi would deny any other mission that didn't give him the freedom to search for obito. He would search all five nations and go Howl mode where he wouldn't go against any nation in fear that obito could be there.

And if he finds obito and he tries to kill him, then kakashi would still be happy cause he at least found obito, and he looks fine, and the rest could be fixed.

[xkobayashi]

ive been missing my sillies

[orcelito]

Watching the Obito Reveal in naruto and while I still want to punch this guy in the face, I'm rly enjoying seeing how emotional Kakashi is getting AND how supportive Guy is being to him. Like Fuck You, obito, guy is here and he's better than you in every fucking way. Up to and including giving kakashi the support he deserves ❤️

[greenbeen-with-an-e]

ARRRRGGHHHHHH I HATE NARUTO ANTIS ISTG

[spooky-kakashi]

the funniest thing about the uchiha and senju beef is that these bitches have been beefing since the first ever uchiha and senju (indra and ashura) AND THEY STILL CHOSE TO BE FUCKING NEIGHBORS

[lecliss]

Why is Obito's height and weight listed as 182cm/70.3kg while Tobi is 175cm/55.9kg. THATS THE SAME FUCKING DUDE HOW DID OBITO SHRINK HIMSELF?????

[chainlinksunset]

theres so much abt me / some of the others thats like. lol the second any of us says shit online were getting dogpiled

[waffliesinyoface]

a fun thing in the naruto universe is how names work

because like, in japan, the polite thing to do is call people by their LAST names, with given names being like. a friends/family thing?

except, in the naruto universe, they had the clan wars, which went on for GENERATIONS before the hidden villages were formed. And clan tensions were so tight that if you introduced yourself by your last name, someone might just try to kill you because your clan is allied with a clan thats allied with another clan who is an enemy of the person you're talking to.

obviously, this was a hassle.

so, there was like, an unspoken rule of only giving your first name, as seen with Hashirama and Madara. Because if you didn't know for a fact that someone was a senju or an uchiha, you could just treat them as another ninja and mutually decide not to kill each other. Things like the sharingan or any notable techniques would be a dead giveaway, but as long as you're not fighting, everyone can just. Politely not ask questions.

but also, because clans are important, they still want to have something which ties the clan together, if last names are omitted from conversation with outsiders.

This is less important in the modern era, but it's still present - everyone in naruto's academy class, even students who aren't friends, exclusively use their classmates first names. Even the teacher isn't immune, he's called Iruka-sensei, not Umino-sensei.

Which is why most clans have first names with common, repeated elements, especially where the main line comes in.

Ino/Shika/Chou is the obvious one, but you also have things like the Hyuuga having a history of the first-born having their name start with Hi (Hizashi, Hiashi, Hinata, Himawari, etc.) or the senju having -rama (Hashirama, Tobirama, Kawarama), the Inuzuka being named after animal body parts (Tsume - claw, Kiba - fang, Hana - nose), all sorts of stuff like that.

It works both in universe (clan loyalties and traditions) and out of universe (group similar characters together)!! its really neat!!!

kishimoto did a lot of dumb things with the Lore and consistently forgot details he'd written about earlier on, but when he DOES have a consistent worldbuilding thing it's super cool to think about.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[hibiscusseaart]

my brain keep showing me one particular au in my dreams over and over again, im basically watching a fanfic there at this point.

so the plot that i try to make sense of: madatobi got married but somehow it was accidental? like not even arranged, they got married by some weird laws that i dont remember. and no it was not abo mating thing, it was like a canonverse. AND it was after Konoha was founded, so no arranged marriage for peace or shit. it was literally random ass marriage for no reason.

SO, the marriage, i keep dreaming about Tobirama being absolutely miserable in his married life bc he doesn't understand Madara and Uchiha's culture. like for him it was basically an arranged marriage be some supernatural shit, so he has to act like a proper spouse, do his 'duty' and be a good bride and make his husband happy. but after the ceremony Madara did nothing and offered Tobirama his own room to sleep and there was 0 kisses or touches or any acknowledgement that Tobirama is Madara's husband.

To add to it Madara doesn't give Tobirama any duties in the clan, so Tobirama just hangs out in his room when he's at home. He doesn't even ask for a lab bc he's sure Madara would deny him. Like he's not even sure he's allowed to do experiments here. Tho he still works in the Tower and goes on missions and stuff.

Plus noone explains him ANYTHING. Tobirama is used to Senju's autistic ways (hc that Senju clan is just full of autistic ppl thats why its a clan of a thousand skills): everything is explained and everyone are very direct with each other in the clan. Hidden meanings and not spoken out loud norms are only for politics and other clans.

Like maybe he asks some women directly "how to be a good Uchiha spouse" and they assume he's talking about sex and they get shy and try to hint and Tobirama is just so confused, he doesn't understand shit. He needs Uchiha social norms instructions but there's NONE bc apparently you have to GUESS????

Obviously from what Tobirama guesses and sees, he comes to the conclusion that Madara still hates him and they are doomed to have marriage without any love or affection (for now i keep thinking about maybe it was like soulmate's bond or some god's marriage thing)

And Madara's POV is that he is really confused about Tobirama and he doesn't fucking understand what to do with him. Like he doesn't want to take him in his bed just bc they are husbands now, he can't have children and he doesn't want to make him do work for the clan bc well they both didn't ask for it and he doesn't want to force Tobirama to do something just bc of something that was out of their control.

And their relationships are still strained bc of the war and stuff. But Tobirama really wants to be a good spouse, but he has fucking nothing. He can't even cook or clean bc Madara has like a maid from the clan for it.

The only things Tobirama does in clan are to teach Kagami and sometimes spar with Izuna sometimes, which is not a lot. Tobirama is used to co-lead the Senju clan. Ofc he has work in the Tower, but Hashirama bullies him out of there at the end of the work day to go home to his husband.

But Madara barely acknowledges him? I think the reason for it was bc Tobirama kept addressing to him as 'Lord Husband' and Madara was REALLY weirded out by that and Tobirama's eagerness not just to be some kind of chill roommates, but an actual spouse. He thought there was some kind of motive for it, but he couldn't find it

It gets better after Hashirama visits Tobirama in his new house and Tobirama, tired of the constant stress and worry, just spills, read: almost fucking cries, ok brain ooc much? queen Tobirama never cry everything to his older brother how he's a horrible husband to Madara that he even made him sleep in another room and stuff. It was a cute scene: they sat on the sofa in Madara's house and Tobirama is tucked in Hashirama's side and they're hugging really close, bc Tobirama was really close to a meltdown and he needed a comforting scent of his family.

Hashirama was kinda dark-ish there, bc I remember him having vibes that he will kill Madara (like fr fr) when he gets the chance. He upsets his outoto - he gets killed. Fair, right?

Tobirama tells Hashirama, that no, you can't kill my husband just bc doesn't even like me.

Funny thing that Madara actually heard this talk (Tobirama didn't notice him bc he was already overwhelmed by his own feelings) and was like 'oh shit, he actually cares about these things???'

so yeah, angsty. I think I read a fic with same ish plot, but in my dream there was a big emphasis on how Tobirama really tries to be good for Madara and Madara is weirded out and never acknowledges their marriage

I think Tobirama had Hananaki in the end. Imagine dying by unrequited love bc your husband doesn't love you. Sad, angsty. Hurt/comfort (from Hashirama).

[anubisthe1]

Like 10 times a day I get the urge to say affectionate words about sasuke in my native language. And every time I try to translate them I have to erase the whole sentence because it makes no sense.

Like in my head I'm like:

"Cte paska qendisur zoti" - God has stitched you well

"Te marrca te keqen" - take all the bad things from you

Etc etc etc

[doveywovy]

i would love to see what the comedic twist version of tobirama dies on a tuesday is - i also really like everything you write! it brightens my day to get a notification you've posted :)

awww thats very sweet of you!

okay the comedic twist version i made up with @slurmdog- be forewarned it is DEEPLY unserious- and it goes like this:

(trigger warning for suicide):

instead of izuna having his breakdown at the funeral, he has it weeks later. madara is spending a lot of time at hashirama's place to try and comfort him, and because of the whole "Tragic death of a younger brother" thing he's kinda clingy about izuna...so he brings izuna with him and then sort of just. sets him loose. like he's expected to stay nearby, but not help out with the comforting hashirama thing (honestly him being in eyeline is probably upsetting to hashirama...)

so of course he eventually ends up in tobirama's room. and the first few visits he's relatively polite about it. he sits in tobirama's desk chair or on his bed and borrows a book from his bookshelf and stares at the posters on the wall (there's a lot of space posters and spaceships- did he want to be an astronaut? he'd never mentioned...) and it's deeply tragic and weird and not at all good for izuna's mental space.

and then at some point he gets nosy. he starts look at stuff hidden away, stuff tucked into drawers. and eventually he finds-

well. tobirama's porn stash. which is- um, some truly illicit gay magazines (holy shit, how did he manage to buy these?) and....stored in the same drawer, some photos of izuna. (cut out from the yearbook or printed from social media.) so tobirama was gay. so tobirama liked him back.

and thats what makes him snap, because it immediately opens up the possibility he and tobirama could've been a couple. this isn't an unrequited thing at all, if he'd asked tobirama out- if he hadn't been so focused on passing for normal-

so izuna has the very normal reaction of trying to kill himself.

he feels like he fucked up his whole life and he'll never recover and if he dies NOW maybe he can reincarnate at the same time as tobirama and the next life they'll be together ? this is soooo reasonable and not at all an insane conclusion to reach. so he finds pills in the bathroom cabinet, downs an entire bottles worth, and then dies. at some point in this process he gets his dick out- maybe he's trying to make sure if he ends up a ghost and he's stuck with Ghost Rules (you have to wear what you're wearing when you die!) he can still fuck tobirama. maybe he's turned on by the porn collection and is trying to go out on a high note. maybe hes trying to change into nicer clothes taken from tobirama's closet and dies halfway through the process.

what matters is that like five hours later madara goes to check on him & then hashirama and madara walk in on a dead izuna who's vomitted on the bedspread, is surrounded by pictures of himself and naked men, and is pants-less. it is not a highpoint for anyone involved.

madara ultimately blames tobirama for izuna's death, which ruins his already-messy relationship with hashirama. so for the next ten years madara, in an increasingly bitter mental state, starts up a tradition of pissing on tobirama's grave on the anniversary of izuna's death. he would've kept doing it too, except he gets a heart attack ten years and dies....

hashirama, who regularly goes to tobirama's grave to update him on his life (mito just got a promotion!) discovers his body in the morning, which makes this the second uchiha he's found dead with his dick out.

[chrispypapas]

everyone give it up for my baby sis, pour one out for yosuke

MY SISTER ALSO SAID BEN 10 LMAOOOOOOOO

IOUSDHUFHDSUIFSDHUIFDSHDSFUIHSFD

only respect for MY troops!!