#that's the mental visual i have

[fatedroses]

More than just the Demon.

[lonestardust]

Tell me what you’re willing to do. Kiss it kiss it better, baby..

[disabledprincesses]

Haha nothing much why, you cool bro?

[meimei-bunnie]

wanted to add more to this even though nobody asked!

I think I mentioned everyone in JC's inner circle except for JYL. A person's comment on my og post made me start thinking again and I agreed with their thoughts + had more to say so here I am.

JYL was essentially the only person who actually showed JC love as it is supposed to be. Everyone knows just how much both JC and WWX loved her (and as they should, JYL my beloved </3). That's why her death becomes the final wedge that broke apart JC and WWX's relationship.

In JC's eyes, WWX simply chose to give up his spiritual cultivation and instead started demonic cultivation. That was a part of the betrayal he felt too, but he could live with that as long as it wasn't affecting any of them. Except, it ended up costing him the only person who was full of unconditional love and support.

That scene in the Nightless City shows clearly that WWX did not try to kill her on purpose. The fierce corpse got out of control. But the reason why JC blames him repeatedly after that is because he thinks if WWX had never gone down this path, all of this could have been avoided. His hatred towards demonic cultivation and WWX stems the strongest from JYL's death. If WWX hadn't gone 'rogue', then the war at Nightless City wouldn't have happened. And there would not be a guy seeking revenge on him that JYL would have to get in the middle of, eventually killing her off.

WWX's sense of justice leads him to that path, and JC hates that. He wants WWX to choose their family over the Wens, but WWX didn't. That also contributes to the feeling of betrayal.

This is precisely why I think that after the climax at Guanyin Temple, JC realises just how much they both did for each other but never spoke about that led to so many misunderstandings and hard feelings. But a grudge of 13 years does not heal in one day, and nothing he could have said would make up for the lost time and harsh words.

All of this counts to why I don't like some of CQL's decisions where they differ from MDZS. (I haven't finished CQL yet tho, so forgive me if I understood something wrong!) Firstly, that they showed some budding romance between Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng. Putting aside how I personally don't feel like their personalities are compatible, I refuse to believe that JC would have been so heartless if Wen Qing was someone important to him. The reason why it works in MDZS is because he doesn't personally know the Wens, and does not remember what they did for him because he was unconscious most of the time. If he had known and loved Wen Qing, I believe she would have been a part of his inner circle. But let's just say that since nothing blossomed of their feelings, WQ never made it into the circle in the first place, allowing for CQL JC's actions.

Secondly, they showed that it was actually JGY who played the other notes at Qiongqi path and Nightless City that led to the death of JZX and JYL. I personally prefer the MDZS version precisely because it shows why Demonic Cultivation was not attempted before. It is possible to lose control. Everything that LWJ stressed to WWX before his death were genuinely possible results.

I also think that the reason why he lost control was because after he came out of the Burial Mounds the first time, he was not in a right mental state. He had lost his golden core, JFM, YZY, and he was hiding a secret while trying to forge a path that would allow him to cultivate. After he saved the Wens, it only got worse because then he felt truly alone. All of this combined into a very fragile mental state under the surface that the resentment took advantage of, and he lost control in those times.

This adds to why in his second life, WWX seems fine. In MXY's body, after 13 years, with LWJ by his side, his mental and physical state is much much better than the WWX of 13 years before in the Burial Mounds. This is why even though he uses Demonic Cultivation in MXY's body, he doesn't end up losing control this time.

This is all how I see it, and I could very well be wrong but it makes sense in my head, so I thought to share it. Feel free to add or correct me if I got any of the canon scenes wrong due to a faulty memory!

Was thinking about Jiang Cheng last night, and what I understood of his character– and especially of his relationship with Wei Wuxian, because obviously, every aspect of his character is shown through the lens of their relationship owing to the fact that Wei Wuxian is the main character.

I don't think it's a bad thing, but I do wish that we could have got some serious in-depth of a lot of characters from their own perspectives, but it works for me and my overactive brain to fill in the gaps.

I genuinely feel heartbroken over their relationship because I know that the love is there, and always will be. Even if it's now tainted with too many harsh words and spilt blood, the love is still there. The problem lies in how Jiang Cheng was raised.

At first, I used to think that Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan are not that bad of parents but after thinking over it, I have realised that they are not good either. In fact, when it comes to Jiang Cheng, they did a terrible job. JFM essentially neglected JC because of his similarity to his mother, leaving him craving for love. YZY on the other hand, constantly put him down by comparing him to WWX.

Both of these things became a core part of how JC thinks and feels. He never received unconditional love from his parents, and his relationship was strained with WWX, but he still loves them all. He is a classic Slytherin, in my opinion. He is definitely ambitious and loves his cultivation but another thing that I characterize Slytherins by is the difference in which they treat those inside their circle and outside their circle.

So, for JC, the people inside this circle are: JFM, YZY, WWX & JYL (and afterwards JL, but that's inconsequential to this post since I'm focusing more on the JC before WWX's resurrection). Even if they treat him badly, he loves them to death. He would go to the world's end for them, and all he wants in return is for them to be by his side.

Which is what WWX fails to do after the Wen situation. (I'm not blaming him, I totally support WWX's decision; I'm just painting it from JC's pov.) At a time when he had lost his parents and JYL was getting married and going away, the only tether for him was WWX– so when he chose the Wens (outsiders, for JC) and demonic cultivation over him, it was betrayal for him.

I believe there are 3 feelings that ruined their relationship, from JC's side: ① betrayal ② jealousy ③ loneliness.

The feeling of betrayal ties in to the loneliness heavily. At the root of everything is the fact that JC struggles with love; he loves deeply, but doesn't quite know how to express it at times because his own parents were lousy at doing that. (I wanna give him a tight hug so bad ugh.)

The jealousy... Well, that's the factor that ruined it the most. And I believe that if only JFM had looked past the fact that JC's mother is YZY, and had loved him as freely as he did WWX, and if YZY had not constantly compared them, then JC could have grown up without the compulsive need to constantly compare himself to WWX. It's not that he does it on purpose, but something that's wired in him because of the glaring difference in them that his parents keep pointing out, whether it's with his actions or her words.

The thing is... WWX was literally the worst person to compare himself to. He was literally a genius, a prodigy, a once-in-a-generation kind of cultivator. And also a classic Gryffindor example. Brave, reckless and strong sense of justice. That's what marks the main difference between them.

JC would choose his family/inner circle over justice. WWX would choose justice over his family/inner circle.

Those feelings of betrayal, jealousy and loneliness come out in the form of misplaced anger and hatred in the 13 years WWX is gone on every person who does demonic cultivation. I feel like JC was trying to find him too, but it was in equal parts love and equal parts hatred.

The point in the climax when he gets angry at WWX and mocks him about how good he is, and constantly better than JC that he even gives away his golden core– that scene hurt me so much. I was really upset with him, but well, his words struck me. Even now, he is still comparing himself to WWX. He has always tried to catch up to the image of WWX, in hopes of gaining his mother's pride and his father's love and even long after they are gone, he feels the need to prove himself to the rest of the world that he is Jiang Cheng. He is Jiang Wanyin, heir to the Yunmeng Jiang clan and worthy of leading them.

It's literally no secret how much he despises that everyone sees him as someone 'not Jiang like'. Their motto doesn't match him. But WWX does. WWX gets his father's love freely. WWX is the talented cultivator that everyone praises and sees, and it's never him. Never JC.

He spent his entire life trying to catch up to WWX, then chasing him in hatred, only to realise that he never could. No matter what he did, he would never measure up to WWX. And he is grateful, he is thankful for what WWX did, but it came out in the usual way all his feelings do: anger and derision. That scene hurts, but it made me finally understand JC.

Honestly, my biggest takeaway from all this was that JC deserved better parents. I love him and I love WWX and I want their relationship to be better desperately but knowing that with all that has happened, I also know it's going to be really really hard. I still want to believe in my own hc that post-canon, they sit down and talk like mature adults and get all this out of the way.

Be the brothers they always should have been, even if they can't be the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng anymore.

(Sorry this got a little long hahaha~)

Edit: And I just want to add that JC never needed to compare himself or 'catch up' to WWX. That's where his parents failed him. Nobody telling him that he is enough and wonderful and loved as he is. I would love to jump in and just, give him a tight hug and say all these things to the younger JC. That I'm proud of him. That's he's enough.

[untitledstim]

stimtober (catchup) day 8: werewolves vs vampires !!

⤷ psd, div | 1, 2, 3, - 4, 5, 6, - 7, 8, 9.

[fisheito]

i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong

my fave face here:

[varilien]

(dress ref)

there's aus where u try to recreate the "effect" of a character's personality and behavior through an alternative "cause", and then there's this shit where i Just think umm well personally wolfwood being down to kill for vash is hot and it's a bummer vash doesn't think so too, but what if an au where he does ?

it's not a true "villain" vash au, basically it goes that vash decided to stick it out with knives in the hopes he could mitigate the damage knives planned to do to mankind, and it's worked for the most part-- at the expense of vash taking on much of knives' ire himself. this vash is even more isolated than in canon, unable to meet the standard knives enforces for what a god is supposed to look like, and constantly concerned with appeasing knives: dressing and styling his hair in a way that doesn't annoy him, talking very little, always offering compromises that put himself at a disadvantage

it's a wholly bad deal, up until the eye (yeah i'm blending stuff from other triguns in even tho it's a 98 au lol) offer vash their latest up-and-coming disciple to protect and serve him directly, though the "protecting" thing ends up being extremely mutual. wolfwood is the first bright spot in vash's life in a hundred years, and he's not going to allow anybody to take that away

[slavhew]

coughing and hacking

//

Marsha, Thankk You for the Dialectics, but I Need You to Leave /

...well, better than the alternative /

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples /

Love, Me Normally

//

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.

i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.

anyway i think you're great.

ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.

i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!

i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.

i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)

i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.

oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!

i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.

i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?

[rainedroptalks]

Peni Parker anime. Can you see my vision

[tinypaperstar]

offers u alnst oc stats

[coriander-candlesticks]

Sometimes your Mental Illness™ is kicking your ass and all you can do is offer the first hot, non-leftover meal you managed to prep in the day at 10:30 pm to Apollo & ask for help getting to *and* getting through your appointment tomorrow and that's okay

[ardentpoop]

I trust you, Sammy. […] It’s too important not to. So if you say you’re good, then that’s it. I’m with you 100%. (8.15 "Man's Best Friend With Benefits") You can barely do it with me. [...] You wanna know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again. (8.23 "Sacrifice")

sam's character progression through s8 (part 2 of 2: the trials) best reviewed with your shipping goggles off!

[uncanny-tranny]

I hold so much love to the people for whom trauma has seeped away their perspective of time - warping and distorting it to where one can't feel time passing. Everything is moving simultaneously too slow and too fast - everything is a blur, and the only constant is the Trauma/s or trauma/s. You aren't just "you" anymore, but you are you and your trauma, and together, for better or worse, you walk as one.

I hope you are well, dear reader. May you find peace between yourself and the things that have happened. May you be permitted to feel everything you feel, for nothing is wrong with how you feel. I hope you grant yourself the space to be, that you may be able to do that because it's hard.

[cozza-frenzy]

Hey guys, it's Vivien. Just kind of wanted to take the chance to I guess... address a few things that have been bothering us since we started Systober. Terry doesn't want to tackle this, so instead I'm taking over so we can hopefully get this dealt with. Anyone who's been paying close attention to the blog has probably noticed that we've been getting increasingly hostile anon messages. In addition to this, we've been banned from the "Anti-Endo Systems" tumblr community, presumably because of the posts on our blog. From what we can tell, the general consensus of the system community re: us seems to be that we're faking, that we're "secretly" endogenic, or that there's something else wrong with us besides being a system. So - just to address some of the controversy that's been leveraged towards us?

Yeah - we don't have to justify jack shit. Unlike our host, I don't respect literally any of you people, and I'm not going to mince words; we're sick of stumbling upon posts about how people think systems "should behave", about which behaviors they feel are "really DID" and which ones are "delusional". We're sick of being picked apart over shit like the complexities of our inner world, our willingness to leverage our own visualization tools to aid in our recovery, and our open-ness in talking about both of these. So starting right now, we're distancing ourselves from the system community on tumblr. None of our posts going forward will be tagged. I'm here to make art for me, my system, and our friends, and I'm tired of attracting the attention of idiots who want to upset our host and ruin the stability we all work hard towards maintaining. If you stumble upon our blog and you don't like what's here, fuck off. Vivien out.

[puppyeared]

people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime